#what other people think of me is none of my business

[hms-no-fun]

also let's be real. "just get a library card" really doesn't take scarcity into account.

i live in seattle which has a big & relatively well-funded public library system... in which i have found it chronically difficult to get access to any of the things i've gone to the library to find! which is perfectly understandable on the physical media side-- if the library has 13 copies of ursula k leguin's left hand of darkness and they're all checked out, well, that's just how it is sometimes! it sucks to want to read one of the great classics of speculative science fiction for free only to find that it's not available and has 20 holds on it besides, but whatever, that's fine, i don't need to read the physical version, i can just get the ebook and it's not a big deal at all---

wait. hold on. wait. i'm sorry, what? hold on, excuse me?? what do you mean they only have 33 "copies" of left hand of darkness on ebook? it's a freaking ebook! there's no material scarcity here, it's a digital file and not even a particularly big one that can be reproduced via the complicated process of hitting ctrl+c and then hitting ctrl+v, at no cost to anyone. this was in fact the liberatory promise of the ebook, and much digital media besides-- in a data environment without scarcity of materials, access to information is instantaneous, infinitely reproducible, and virtually cost-free.

which is of course a great deal for readers but a terrible deal for publishers. i mean, shit, it's not even that bad a deal, they just think it is because at the end of the day they have no values except the one value that is shared by every business, profit. it doesn't matter that cheap or no-cost ebooks are a social good that encourage people to read more (and more readers is good for publishers), it doesn't matter that basically everyone i know who pirates shit goes out of their way to pay for what they really care about when they can afford to do so, and of course it doesn't matter that digital files saddled with DRM are a bald-faced absurdity that reek of shameless greed at a glance. for publishers (as with all businesses), maintaining the rate of profit exceeds every other conceivable obligation. and tbh if they had their way libraries wouldn't exist. the idea of free access to anything is deplorable to capitalist firms.

and it's not just ebooks. kanopy is a streaming service that libraries nationwide are hooked up to, and the depth of its collection exceeds basically every other streaming service by miles. and all you need is a library card! ah, but here's the catch-- your library membership doesn't grant you unlimited access to kanopy's offerings the way a netflix subscription lets you watch everything on netflix forever. instead, you have a set number of "tickets" allotted to you per month (the amount you get depends on what kind of library you're using) and once you've used your tickets, that's it. my library card gives me 15 tickets per month. most movies cost 2 tickets, shorts cost 1, and seasons of tv cost 5. now, am i using all 15 tickets every month? nope! i basically never use kanopy because the very notion of the ticket system causes me to question every choice-- what if i pick something and don't like it, that's a waste of tickets! which is objectively silly, but that's what happens when humans are confronted with scarcity. and this is helped none at all by the fact that upon spending your tickets on a movie, you've got 72 hours to watch it before it expires. for a season of television, you get a week. a week! for an entire season of television!! sorry babe but i just am not the binge-watching type, you give me this kind of limitation and i'm going straight to the pirate mines out of sheer spite. and no, before you ask, your tickets don't roll over from month to month. obviously.

it's the same story with every type of digital media that libraries seek to provide-- publishers/labels/studios demanding enforced artificial scarcity, a functional means test against letting the poors get too much for free. and yet! you can get a spotify subscription for basically nothing! you can get a netflix subscription for basically nothing! you can get an audible subscription for basically nothing! and such services certainly have their fair share of copy protections built in, they are far more generous than the library-accessible alternative. and you know what those platforms all have in common? THEY'RE THE ONES STEALING PROFITS FROM THE PUBLISHERS. it's not libraries giving out too many ebooks, it's all these tech company grifters middle-manning their way into already-corrupt industries to pocket what little profits those publishers weren't already stealing from the creators whose work they sell. but that's okay because they're big corporations that have signed licensing agreements and at least they contribute some profits unlike those mooching libraries. anyway let's sue the internet archive into oblivion, let's throw the book at libraries, we need to curtail piracy, we can't have these welfare queens strutting around etc etc etc. it's the same old story. fuck poor people for being poor and wanting access to things they can't afford. fuck libraries, fuck social services, fuck food stamps and healthcare and rent assistance, i have to get mine and if you've got a problem with that then i'll see you in court.

by all means, get a library card if you can. use your library if you have one and support it whenever and however possible. but understand that piracy for many is the only remaining alternative, and it is unfortunately often better than what's offered by libraries precisely because they're hamstrung by the greed of corporations. this is a big, complicated, messy issue with no one-size-fits-all solution, and finger-wagging at people pirating books just is not the way

as a fellow Public Library Enthusiast i am begging people to consider the fact that not everywhere has an accessible public library or indeed public libraries at all. just saying “get a library card” at strangers when you have no idea about their background or their life isn’t very helpful. let them pirate in peace

[slafastri28]

I Hope You're Doing Well - LN4

Note: I literally pulled this out my ass, but it just flowed!

Word Count: 2.2k (yes that is a lot for me) Warnings: Idk a lot of kissing at the end, little angst

“Hi Lando, it’s Y/N, I hope you’re doing well, I figure you are considering you just won the constructors championship, call me when you want to catch up, I miss you, okay bye,” you hung up the phone. You turned to face your parents along with Lando’s,

“Sorry kid,” your dad said rubbing your shoulder. The four sat you down in the middle of the F1 season telling you their concerns for their son, complaining of being homesick and lonely, which was not Lando at all. You had known each other as long as you could remember. Your parents all went to university together and forced you and Lando into a friendship like parents do with kids. It was awkward at first, but you were very social as a child, and hanging out with a boy a year older than you was cool to you, and if it made your parents happy you would do it. Despite being a year older than you, you were always the same height as Lando growing up. You fit perfectly in his kart, but he never trusted you to drive it. He was always on about traveling in Formula 1 eventually, and he was fine his first couple years but this year was different. 

“It’s alright, I wasn’t expecting an answer,” you gave the parents a half smile. You and Lando had lost touch after the first race of the year, after spending all of the winter together something shifted, but you didn’t know what you did to make him ignore you. You called him at the first sign of concern from his parents, but no answer, his parents even urged him to call you but they were rarely hearing from him as it was. Little did they know he would sit listening to the messages you left all the time thinking about home and being with you. 

Last winter your parents threw a big party, all their friends were there and of course Lando. There was no one else really your age there so you two find yourselves alone in your childhood bedroom sitting and talking. 

“I’m confident this year, we will perform better I know it,” he nodded.

“Well of course you will, and you are going to get that win, I just know it,” you smiled. 

“Yeah I hope, thanks for the belief,” he said.

“What are friends for,” that word friends hit Lando hard. He thought he had made so obvious these past few years about how he felt about you, but he was only a friend to you. The rest of that winter he was not his usual self leaving you questioning, he barely even said goodbye before he left for testing. You sat alone in your apartment finding yourself wanting to pick up the phone and ask him what you did wrong but you accepted he needed space. You soon felt something was missing as he didn’t call you after every race like he did last year, you missed seeing his smile, which you always thought was cute. Now without his constant presence, you discovered your true feelings for Lando. You sent him messages getting responses two days later, he wouldn’t take any of your calls due to being busy, but it was the time you would normally call last year, and you knew what was different. You began to leave messages when his parents went to see him. Each message started and ended the same way. 

“Hi Lando, it’s Y/N, I hope you’re doing well,” and ended with “I miss you,” or something along those lines. After his first win, you called,

“Hi Lan, it’s me, I hope you’re doing well, and celebrating this win, I’m so proud of you, I wish I could have been there, I miss you.” Your calls continued after each win he earned this year, each podium, each race he scored points, even in his worst races you still left messages, none being answered or getting a callback, making you long for him more. The season came to a close and there you were surrounded by the people near and dear to him leaving the same message again.

This winter he had not come back to visit his family yet, meaning you didn’t have that chance to see him in your time off from work. There you sat around the most important people in your life, as one was missing, holding back tears. His mother rushed out of the room picking up her phone and scolding her son in a message. You went to bed that night looking through the scrapbooks your Moms made of the two of you when you were younger, pictures of you hugging, your arms wrapped around each other's shoulders, pictures of you forcing a smile onto his face and him doing the same to you, so many memories. The books continued as the years went on, you at age 15 with a sign at one of his races and him hugging you after, your high school graduation, your college graduation, he was always there. Now this winter here you were alone a year from that night wishing he would come home. 

You woke up the next morning with a voice message lighting up your phone. You were stunned to see the contact picture, you and Lando as little kids. You put in your headphones and hesitated before pressing play on the message.

“Hi Y/N, it’s Lando, I hope you’re doing well, I am doing well, thank you for all your congratulations, I’m sorry I’ve ignored you this season, I will tell you more when I get home tomorrow, I miss you too, see you probably a few hours after you listen to this,” his voice was sincere and you could hear little cracks knowing he was upset. You could feel your heart racing, your mind was spiraling, what could he possibly have to say to me? This is going to be so awkward. What do I even say to him? Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock on your door. You quickly fixed your hair before pulling the blanket up over your pajamas hiding any possible embarrassment.

“Hey, sweetheart,” you heard your mom’s voice outside, “can I come in?” 

“Yes, come in,” you put the blanket down, “what is it?” Your Mom looked unusually happy for it being eight in the morning, she must have already had her coffee. 

“Lando’s flight arrives in an hour, and we are all going to surprise him at the airport, I know you’re upset with him, but please maybe it will change things,” her eyes were pleading, and after the message, you knew it would be the right thing to do. You hopped out of bed grabbing your morning coffee before changing. You conveniently lived close to the airport so an hour was plenty of time. As you stood with your two families in the terminal waiting you began to think again, you had seen him on social media, which was easier to bury your feelings, but in real life, you didn’t know what you would do. 

You watched the hallway, seeing several people go by, none were the faces you wanted to see. It had been a few more minutes since you were distracted by your phone, but you chose to look up at the perfect moment.

“Here he comes,” his mom exclaimed. You shoved your phone in your bag immediately, putting on a smile. He dropped his bag greeting first his parents, then your parents, and froze when he got to you. It was like time stopped, and no one else in the airport existed. He stretched out his arms as you rushed into them. He pulled you so close, you felt your feet lift off the ground.

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry, I’ve missed you so much,” he began to cry into you.

“Lando, Lando,” you sobbed feeling his warmth. The two of you pulled yourselves together as you made your way out to your cars.

“Why don’t you two ride together, you have some catching up to do,” his mom winked in your direction. The two of you did as you were told riding in the “kids' car” back to his parents’ home. You got home before them leaving you two some time after your silent car ride, both of you trying to keep it together. Once you got to their house, you made your way upstairs to his room. You watched him unpack his things before you noticed the stack of books next to the bed, the same ones you had looked at the night before. Something in your gut told you to open one, and it was right, it struck his attention.

“Wow look at us,” he said joining you sitting on his bed. 

“I know, we were so cute,” you laughed pointing at a picture of you two at Lando’s 9th birthday, you were blowing out his candle with him. 

“Still are,” he said softly, the look in his eyes showed he wanted to continue. You closed the book and took a good look at him, you saw pain in his body language, emotional pain. He was different than the Lando you saw the previous year. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” you said resting your hand on his shoulder, “what did I do,” you thought back to last year knowing exactly what hurt him. 

“Y/N, hand me the book,” he pointed to the one from your high school years. You handed him the book and he began to frantically flip through it, finding one specific picture. You stared at it, then at him with a faint smile on your lips. 

“The dance,” you nodded looking ashamed. 

“That’s when it started Y/N, and ever since then I have loved you, I thought I made it obvious, but you only saw me as a friend, I couldn’t take it anymore, I was hurt, and didn’t want to waste my time,” his eyes stayed locked on the book. 

“Lan, I feel the same, it took me not having you present constantly to finally realize I have loved you,” you smiled. His eyes picked up from the book,

“All those messages were cries for you to call me so we could have this conversation, I started to think you moved on after the constant lack of response,” you sighed.

“I should have answered all those calls, I should have called back, I should have said something-” you cut him off pressing a kiss to his lips. His hands quickly found your face as yours found his hair, running your fingers through his curls. You both gasped for air after that, your foreheads resting against each other’s. Your hands moved slowly from his hair to his hands which remained on your face. He let go interlocking his fingers with yours as your hands moved to your lap.

“This, this is how it was meant to be,” he smiled, before kissing you once more. 

“So should we tell our parents, who definitely have their suspicions already,” you laughed. 

“Not yet,” he said laying down in his bed and pulling you along with him. You two lay there your head on his chest with your hands locked over your heart. You were at full joy in the moment, a moment that you didn’t know you needed until now. You flipped over laying on top of him. 

“So despite my horrible dancing that night, that’s when you knew,” you laughed running your fingers through his hair again. 

“I wasn’t much better,” he laughed, “despite your clumsiness, you still were beautiful,” he said grinning. You pressed another kiss to his lips as his arms found your back pulling you in tighter. You two continued, intensifying the kiss as you both lay now on your sides. His lips moved from your face, down to your jaw and eventually reached your neck, letting you sigh.

“Kids dinner!” your mom called from outside the door. Lando continued moving back up to your lips. 

“Lan,” you repeated whispering, pushing him away, “come on,” you smiled. 

“Just a few more,” he begged.

“Later,” your eyes showed promise. You fixed your hair in his full-length mirror where he stood behind you wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“Come on,” you laughed opening the door. You two walked hand in hand downstairs meeting your families in the kitchen. They all turned to face the two of you standing there with intertwined fingers, both with red cheeks. The Dads gave nods of approval to Lando and the Moms squealed gesturing for you to both sit.

“Finally,” his mom clapped as you sat at the table.

“Come on give us a little kiss,” your mom added on. The Dads rolled their eyes but still watched. Lando pulled you in by your neck pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You heard your Dad’s whistle, you shot him a glare after the kiss ended. It was just like old times in the winter when you would have dinners, the conversation flowed naturally as you felt Lando’s smile beaming on his face. This was secretly what you always desired. 

[cvnt4him]

Diaries of Spider-Man.

ch1

Dear diary; what was I thinking?!

synopsis; the disastrous "adventures" of a teenaged spiderman.

This is a WIP, please let me know your thoughts and if this is what you would like to see from me<3

“let's do this one.. last.. time...”

“my name is izuku midoriya, and for the past 3 years, I've been the one and only spiderman. Annnd, I'm pretty sure you know the rest..”

₊˚⊹

Izuku jots away in his notebook before taking a step back to read what little he's written. the groan that escaped his lips was quite audible. He was rather disappointed in what he's written.

When his therapist "prescribed" him to journaling or writing down his thoughts in a notebook which he didn't want to refer to as a diary, his initial thought was;

‘theres no way in hell writing things down would help me.’

However for the past three years, izuku found himself writing everything he could down in those measly little journals his therapist gave him. Each and every year the thick and huge diary journal she gave him would begin to get fuller and fuller of all of his little adventures or simple daily routines.

Izuku was nothing if not a stubborn little shit at times. Of course he would disagree heavily but facts don't lie. You can't tell this energetic know it all anything. He's really smart and well put together. Most of the time. Upon becoming spiderman he hasn't had a lot of time for much. His consistent tasks of being spiderman are always heavy and time consuming. He doesn't have time to study for his driver's test, his normal class tests which define if he passes the grade and gets into college, or even dinner half the time?!

To be frank; the poor thing has been through a lot the past years. Too much honestly. Izukus "power" awakening was an honest mistake. Like your typical movie spiderman, he was bitten by a radioactive spider whilst he was doing something he knew he had no business doing

₊˚⊹

To go back exactly three years 4 months and 17 days ago, you would find a 14/15 year old izuku breaking into an abandoned home with none other than his typical, usual, partners in crime.

Katsuki bakugou and y/n l/n.

Izuku knew it was a bad idea from the beginning, however he always followed the two of you into stupid situations that could eventually get you killed. In this case, it almost did. Izuku helped you get through the window the three of you had busted by letting you climb onto his shoulders, katsuki who had laid his jacket over the glass so none of you would cut yourselves, grabbed you by your arms and pulled you in, the both of you then helped izuku in with basically the same method.

“woah.. spooky.”

“ heh.. it reeks in here.”

You giggled at katsukis exclaim, making izuku pout slightly. He sighed to himself, not wanting to admit the blonde was correct.

“ you guys i- i really don't think we should— ”

“ hey check it out! there are spray paint cans in here!”

Katsuki yells running to the other room with numerous cans of spray paint. You followed him like a dumb lost puppy leaving izuku to groan and follow behind you both.

There were many graffiti stamps left behind from many different people, obviously they had left behind their spray paint for some odd reason, that's what really intrigued izuku.

“ tch, hey deku, get over here so we can sign our names!”

Izuku jogs closer to you two shivering to himself at all the spiderwebs covering the cans. It was dusty and quite eerie inside of this place. Izuku truthfully wanted no part. You and katsuki signed your names right next to each other with little quirky doodles next to them, izuku soon followed suit. He picked up the green can of paint and signed his name ‘izuku’

“ no no, put deku! ‘ts way better than ‘izuku’!”

The way katsuki could make izuku feel bad about his given name should've been studied. And they way you were quick to agree hurt the poor boy even more. He soon crossed out izuku and put ‘Deku’ big and boldly. It was all alone compared to how closely the two of your names were.

The two of you had long began to explore elsewhere, leaving izuku wondering where you two went off to.

“hey! Come in here izu- I mean deku!”

You yell out catching his attention, he follows the sound of your voice to find you two the small critter crawling up his back going completely unnoticed. Some time passed and it only got later and later, izuku was still hesitant about being there but the two of you just kept going deeper and deeper inside of the manor.

Izuku rushes inside of the next room, breaking contact with whatever artifacts caught his eye. He looked for the two of you calling out your names with no answer, he was confused and quite scared, where could the two of you have gone?

“ boo!”

Izuku jumped back falling down to the ground and scraping his little hands.

“ow..!”

Izuku winced at the sudden sting of not only his hands but the pinch of his skin itching and being very irritated next to his neck, he slapped it and the arachnid soon fell into his hands. With a shutter he threw the spider out of his hands feeling rather jittery after the encounter.

“ are you alright, izuku?!“

You were quick to rush over to him. It was simply supposed to be a little harmless joke, he wasn't supposed to get hurt. You helped him up and dusted him off as well heading katsuki suck his teeth in response.

“ yes, i- I'm fine. I've gotten bitten by a spider however.. one unlike any other I've ever seen.. we should head back so I can tell my mom.”

“ oh, oka-”

“ no.”

Katsuki was quick to shut down before you could get out your sentence. You both turned to look at him he seemed angry a bit as if something completely ruined his mood.

“ if you tell your mom we could get in trouble, she might tell my mom who might tell y/ns. you don't want us getting in trouble, do you deku.”

The way katsuki used the nickname against him made his stomach feel sick. He gulped down the rising bile in his throat and coughed lowly.

“ katsuki he got hurt, shouldn't he-”

“ no! I'm not getting in trouble because wimpy deku wanted to be an easy scare!”

“thats not fair katsuki!”

The two of you started bickering, leaving him out causing him to sigh. He felt a bit weird.. kind of dizzy and out of breath as if he'd been running. It was growing warm and he had began sweating, hyperventilating as if he needed to catch his breath.

The sounds of him caught your attention and suddenly the boy looked quite weak, frail of some sort.

“ izuku..? are you...alright?”

Katsuki sooner looked over to see izuku hardly keeping his balance, he wouldn't admit it but he was quite worried at the sight of him.

“ let's go.”

Was all katsuki said as he grabbed izuku by the hand and ran back towards the broken window the three of you came in.

The two of you got izuku home in one piece for the most part, he was dizzy and hardly standing up on his own, the running had him so our of breath it was almost like he was having an anxiety attack. He probably was to be honest, izuku was a very anxious boy. His anxiety levels were very high at all times, with the growing symptoms in his body and the bite from the spider he was so worried about what was happening to him he most likely started having a panic attack whilst running. Luckily he was home now, you and katsuki beat on his door as you heard him mom yelling she was coming.

She opens the door with a smile to see the three of you out of breath with a dead looking izuku, the sight startled his mother causing her to pick up her son and rush him to the hospital. Both yours and katsukis parents had been called and had quite a talk with inko who was worried sick about her son, yelling at your parents and explaining how she has no idea what happened.

You two didn't speak to each other once. Not even looking at each other. Both your parents had taken you and katsuki back home. After that night you'd never spoken to katsuki or izuku ever again..

Izuku was completely fine however. Those symptoms may have been bad but that was all it was. He was able to go home that same day and the doctors called it a simple panic/anxiety attack. His mother was worried sick for no reason.

From that moment forward things only began to get weirder for this normal teenaged boy.

₊˚⊹

Izuku sat at his desk reading his old journals of how he believes he got his powers, scoffing to himself at the memories. He had all his books all over his desk in a completely messy pile nose buried in his book as someone walked over and bumped his desk back into him, it lightly hit him in the stomach causing him to drop the journal in the desk and the desk of the books that were formerly there onto the floor.

He scoffed in annoyance looking up to see you with a shit eating grin on your face as you scowled down at him, not even apologizing as you walked out of the classroom.

Izuku seen as the classroom was completely empty, just him and his messy books all over the floor. He sighed and crouched down picking them up and shoving them into his backpack. His phone vibrated in his back pocket, he picked up up to see w text from his friends.

‘ hey! Meet us in the front?’

That singular text from ochako was all he needed for a small smile to form on his freckled cheeks. Just as he was about to put it away there was a pop up from the news channel he had downloaded on his phone, something about a criminal stealing from a jewelry shop.

He sighed to himself and texted her back explaining he wouldn't be able to meet them and that he'd just head home. However that wasn't the case. He ran out the back door of the school pushing through some students earning some angry and annoyed remarks spat at him; but he didnt have time to care. He ran behind some building and quickly slipped his suit on. He'd rather skip the embarrassing details..

Just as he was about to 'web away' he got a call from none other than katsuki bakugou. Izuku jumped and nearly dropped his phone at the sudden ringing, he quickly answers without thinking, lifting his mask over his mouth to speak,

“ oi nerd, y’heard about that criminal stealing that diamond or whatever?”

The normally volcanic boy has a soft tone still laced with a bit of redness and sass.

“ yes, kacchan, and before you called I was just about getting there so if y’dont mind!!!!”

The blond scoffs on the other side, chuckling as he snorts at his sass. Izuku groaned at the sound of him laughing and simply hung up swinging away as quickly as he could.

“ look up there! It's spiderman!!”

People squealed and yelled at the familiar colors of izukus suit, black along the sides and a deep green painting the front and back of his skin tight suit, and a big white spider over the chest. He'd made the suit when he was younger and had started working out he'd wanted to show it off but as of now he thinks it's quite unnecessary..

He swung through the crowds waving and smiling under the mask, as tiring as being spiderman was he was always thankful for the love he'd gotten. They truly made him feel valuable, izuku struggled with self confidence a lot, it's common in people like that to enjoy attention from all.

It wasn't that izuku needed to be humbled or anything but....izuku swung down an alley that reports seen the criminal go down, supposedly the diamond they had stolen was a very important artifact from ancient times or whatever, moral of the story was he needed to get it back to where it belonged! Izuku could do that!

He dropped in front of the criminal with a hero stance making him appear big n bad in front of them.

“ stop! give me that diamond, criminal!”

Izuku was obsessed with action movies when he was younger, his favorite actor was custom to working in them. He always imagined being a superhero and technically he is! However within these three years the fame and glory really went to his head ..

The criminal halted, izuku tried stepping closer to retrieve the diamond in a cool manner, speaking to the cloaked person in a soft voice trying to get them to come to their senses like some kind of......main character. To izukus surprise they pulled out a crossbow. He was stunned at the size of it,

“ how- how did that fit inside of your— ”

Before izuku could get the rest of his sentence out the criminal shot the arrow, it completely piercing izukus shoulder. He yelled out in pain nearly falling to his knees, that then made him realize that was no joke, this person being unlike any other petty thief hes gone up against.

As the criminal kicked izuku to the ground with a bare boot while he was holding his injured and punctured shoulder they quickly made haste and ran past him out of the alley, crowds soon coming up after the person ran away and seeing izuku clutching his shoulder run pain, all of them having different emotions on his face it would be an understatement to say he was embarrassed.

What had he thought that he was just invincible? Izuku struggled into his knees hearing whispers from the crowd and quickly tried his best to attempt swinging away with a singular arm, his left to be exact and that wasn't his maiden arm either. Izuku was fully right handed and did everything with it, with his right arm basically out of commission he did his best to swing with his left hand but...

He eventually wobbled and hit a sign, he was going at a high speed as well trying to hide his shame and find the person who did this to him, as his body came into full contract with the sign knocking every little bit of air out if his body the arrow got pushed deeper, making izuku groan in agony once more. Blood wetting his skin and suit as it dropped down, he didn't take the arrow out before because he thought about how it would cause him to bleed out and wouldn't be any good...now he wished he had.

He held onto the large sign and tried to swing away once more, he eventually got the hang of it for a little while managing to drop himself behind a building. He leaned against the wall of it and groaned, he wanted to take his suit off but it wouldn't be a good idea, anyone could've followed him or even tried to see who he was. It wasn't a good idea.

With every ounce of energy and strength in his body he pushed himself up from sliding to the ground and called who he knew he could.

“ yo?”

“ ka..kacchan... I need your...your help..”

₊˚⊹

AN: this is js a WIP lemme know what y'all think n if I should add or like yk leave out some things!!!!

[apiptosis]

I still have no clue how Tumblr works but here's part 3

The third member to meet Danny is none other than our resident Demon brat.

It was rare that Damian could truly relax. In the league he had to constantly be the perfect heir, the perfect assassin. When his mother got him out it was just as hard when he had to compete with four adopted brothers, Gordon, Brown and the infamous Cassandra Cain.

It was difficult to find someone who could understand him and what he had been through and still put up with his bulshit. Damian was man enough to admit that his own attitude did not help him so when he found someone who would, whom he could let down his walls with, he grasped on with both hands.

"You seem to be thinking quite hard there Damian." A soft voice drew him from his thoughts. Damian looked her deep in her eyes freely let her peer at his thoughts. He knew she would not pry unless needed but he freely gave this.

"Just reminded myself how fortunate I was to have you." Damian admitted while they sat at their impromptu picnic.

It was rather rare for them to have dates in Gotham but today was a rare time where it was possible. The smog that always filled Gotham was almost completely absent today here in the forest at the edge of the Wayne property and perhaps most importantly, his father was off world with Cain and Grayson.

While most of the public believes Batman has a 'no metas allowed' rule, it was most certainly not true. What is true however is that his father is an overprotective idiot at times and would hover/spy onto their date.

"Dam-"

Whatever Raven was about to say was interrupted by a small sonic boom from just outside of the property that had both of them on their feet, their little picnic forgotten.

All too soon they found the source. A behemoth of a man was playing with a giant dog?

"Drop the stick boy!" The green beast dropped a log for want of a better word. "Good boy, wanna go again?" The beast gave a bark like artillery fire, tail waving like rotor blades. The man pick up the log and launched as though it was a javelin with a "Fetch Cujo!"

With one last artillery bark the beast bound after with great speed.

The man let out a deep sigh as he fell back into the shade of the nearby tree. "Man I wish I had more off days like this. Mhmmm, people? Hello there. Didn't think there would be people this far out. I'm Danny."

The man, Danny, waved as he lazily greeted them from where he lay on his bag in the shade. Danny lay so openly and without care that they could easily observe him.

Danny was very obviously a meta, his lazy smile with far too many sharp teeth, elfin ears and skin that was almost paler than Raven's. Most glaring was his height at seven and a half feet and shoulders nearly half as broad. (see Drake I can learn your freedom units)

"Damian" "Rachel" they introduced themselves.

"You two out on a date? It's one of my rare days off so I was planning one myself but unfortunately my girlfriend's dad needed help so she's out of town with him and her brother." Danny offered up freely. There was no hostile intent as far as Damian could tell. 'His intentions are true and there is no amniosity. His mind is well protected though.' Raven shared with telepathy.

"I take it your job is rather taxing?" Damian prodded.

Danny snorted "Nah man, I'm a university student, Aerospace engineering. The degree is kicking my ass but that's due to the amount of stuff I have to do. It's like they are afraid that I will have free time because I swear some of my projects and tests aren't for engineering.

Last week I had to write a chem exam and yesterday I had to submit a project that I'm pretty sure was a business model in disguise. If my luck holds out I might get a psych test next week. Ugh I'm already half dead, now their trying to get me to fully dead."

That was... concerning. It sounds like danny was possible rogue material and the university was trying their best to keep him from actually going rogue.

"So your taking a break and playing with you dog?" Raven asked.

"Yeah, Cujo is a sweetheart but it's hard to play with him here since people keep attacking him when he's in his large form." Danny explained as the dog bounded back without his stick. Worryingly there was a bit of blood on him. The dog had obviously been in a fight.

"Again buddy? Why can't they just leave you alone. Let's see what it's this time." Cujo dropped a finger on the ground with a very familiar green ring.

"He's a rescue I suppose but he was originally a guard dog and he was trained to disarm people when they attack him so I keep having to stash away guns and the like. With how crazy some people are I really should be prepared for things like this."

The ring seemed to sluggishly work it's way off of the finger before shooting straight for Danny.

"Daniel Fenton of -"Danny swiped the ring out of the air and held it in a tight grip. "Nah ah, I already have one green magic ring and I don't want a talking one on top of that!"

Danny rummaged through his bag before pulling out his thermos that smelled like coffee and chugged it like he was drakes long lost twin and managing to seal it into the thermos.

"There, I'll figure out what to do with that later."Sigh."well I guess we can talk at a later time but after that I'm heading home. Cujo shrink!"

The massive beast of a dog deflated like a balloon till it was the size of a small dog, happily trudging sfter it's owner as they hiked in the direction of Gotham.

With a glance to Raven, he confirmed that she was just as bewildered by the interaction as he was. Eventually they returned to their date, no use in letting odd encounters ruin their day, but Damian kept the name in the back of his head for now.

Later that night Damian found himself in the watchtower, going for the terminal so he could research this Daniel Fenton. He would have done this at home but Drake hogged the bat computer, nou doubt pinning after his coffee crush.

Along the way he found a small congregation of heroes trying to drown out Guy Gardner but also had to listen to his report as his hand was quite bandaged and missing a finger...

"On my patrol I nearly got Final destinationed by a flying log and then I got attacked by a green beast that wouldn't go down no matter what I thew at it. To make matters worse it was able to bite off my ring!" Guy complained incessantly.

Suddenly it made perfect sense why Danny was so upset but accepting of people attacking Cujo. How many times has this happened to him? How many times had the guy patched up his dogs wounds because people attacked him. How many of those time was it a hero who attacked Cujo? Damian could feel for both Danny and his dog.

"Sounds like you attacked a dog playing fetch and got upset when you couldn't hurt a dog for playing. Neutralizing an attacker's weapon is the bare basics of any guard dog's training." Damian found himself snapping at the man. Superman nodding along with him.

"Robin is right, while I am very concerned about you losing your ring, I am also concerned that you would attack a dog for playing fetch. I do the same with Crypto." Superman chastised Guy sternly.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Ladybug and Cat Noir: The Movie

Once again, I'd just like to apologize for the lack of activity the past few months. The holidays have kept me busy, especially at work, and I've officially decided to go back to school next month. Don't get me wrong, one of my new year's resolutions is to at least try getting back to consistently working on this blog, which is one of the reasons why I'm going to tackle She-Ra in the future. Either way, I'd like to thank you for supporting me this past year even though I haven't been as active as I should be.

When I heard Miraculous Ladybug was getting a movie, I didn't really pay too much attention to the news due to all of the side projects that have been canceled left and right, but then I saw the trailer. It looked decent, and while I had issues with the animation, I was willing to give it a shot since Astruc wasn't on the writing team. Then the movie came out, and while it got mixed reviews, this was how a lot of people in the fandom saw it after suffering through Season 5.

Yeah, a lot of fans hold this movie in high regard. It's nothing as groundbreaking as other animated films that came out the same year like Across the Spider-Verse and Nimona, but for a Miraculous Ladybug project, it turned out pretty well. That is, except for the brief schism it caused in the fandom. While it's mostly subsided, when the movie came out, there was a debate on which handled the story better, the movie or the show. As always, fandom arguments tend to get complicated, and things only got worse when Thomas Astruc himself decided to throw his hat in the ring by claiming that the show he worked on was better.

Yes, even though fans enjoy a movie based on his characters, because he isn't the one who made it, Astruc thinks his version is better. Just remember, he tweeted this about a month after “Derision” premiered. I feel like that speaks for itself.

Thankfully, the argument has died down for the most part, though there's still discussions on which is the better version. Before I really get into the movie, I just want to remind everyone reading this that my opinion shouldn't be taken as fact. I am not the authority on what people should like, and I don't want anyone to use my review as an excuse to bully other people online for having a different opinion on the movie. While I've made jokes about the show's decline in quality, the show and movie both have their own strengths and weaknesses, and we should be able to discuss them.

With all that out of the way, let's get into Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie

Just to be clear, I'm not going to tackle this like my usual reviews. Instead, I'm going to break this review into three sections: what I liked, what I didn't like, and what I'm mixed on.

Things I liked

For one thing, the characterization is pulled off very well. None of the characters are really as annoying or incompetent like they were in the show's later seasons. Part of what I think makes it work is that there's more focus on character arcs that have to be completed by the end of the film. Marinette has to learn to step up as a hero, Adrien has to learn humility while dealing with the loss of his mother, and Gabriel struggles to resist the allure of villainy.

Marinette's anxiety is more pronounced in this movie, especially since in this continuity, Chloe is just starting to harass her, so she's not used to this kind of treatment. While Chloe is a minor antagonist in the civilian plotline, the biggest threat to Marinette when she's not Ladybug is her own self-doubt. Her status as an outcast is used to add to Marinette's lack of confidence in herself. The whole reason she even meets Adrien here is because she tried to hide from Chloe in the library, and she was too nervous to really speak up to Adrien. Hell, the first time she transforms into Ladybug, it's only because Tikki forced her to transform.

I like how Marinette's insecurities transition into her origin as Ladybug, where she's put in a situation where she has to take charge and be more confident. She still gets frustrated with her situation and her new partner's ego (more on that in a minute), but she struggles to really get her head in the game at first compared to how things were in “Origins”. It makes her development into the confident hero we're all familiar with feel more natural, as the climax of the movie shows her fully asserting herself as the protector of Paris and a beacon of hope for those to look up to.

Adrien is also handled very well here. As much as I liked “Origins”, I have to admit it didn't really do much with him as a character. With the exception of wasting his first Cataclysm, he just goes about the two-parter like it's another day at the office for him. That's why I'm a huge fan of the movie actually giving him stuff to do. Unlike the show, his arrogance is shown in a more negative light and is shown to be a major character flaw he needs to overcome. Nobody tries to excuse or deny his actions, and he learns how to become a better person.

This is what makes his dynamic with Ladybug so interesting. For their first battle together, he's overconfident and assumes that he's the leader, even though he's just as new at this as Ladybug is. The two trade insults and bicker while fighting their Akuma and even when they meet Master Fu afterwards. While Cat Noir does fall for Ladybug, Marinette still isn't open to it, not because she loves someone else, but more because she finds him to be unbelievably annoying. She doesn't really hate him the same way she does Chloe. It's more like that one coworker you can't stand but have to tolerate regardless.

Both Ladybug and Cat Noir help the other improve as they gain each other's respect. Ladybug gains more confidence in order to keep Cat Noir from bossing her around, while Cat Noir becomes more humble to become a better hero. Eventually, Cat Noir reverses his position and assumes he's the sidekick, only for Ladybug to deny that claim and declare that the two are partners. This statement also reflects how both of them are responsible for saving the day in the end. While Adrien ultimately reaches through to his father, Ladybug saves Adrien and repairs the damage caused by Hawkmoth. Both played a role that was instrumental in the climax, and neither one feels ignored by the narrative.

Another character who really got a much needed revamp is Chloe. Yes, she's still Marinette's primary bully, but it's more downplayed than in later seasons. She stays a challenge exclusive to Marinette's civilian life instead of trying to be a challenge to Ladybug. The closest thing she does to opposing the heroes is kick Cat Noir off a runaway Ferris wheel out of fear, and even then, she gets her comeuppance through Ladybug throwing her in a dumpster while saving her. Chloe is also much smarter than in canon, being able to read the room to mask her emotions and maintain her image or to prey on someone's insecurities if they get in her way. Don't get me wrong, she's still a source of comic relief, but the movie treats her slightly more seriously than canon does.

Speaking of comic relief, here's something that I think made this Chloe better than the one seen in the show: The jokes were actually funny. Yeah, it's not laugh out loud, but I like how rather than make jokes about how immature and stupid Chloe is, her jokes are focused more on her own ego and self-image. Well, that, and wanting to kick Marinette's ass. I'm not making this up. Chloe in this movie threatens Marinette several times, and it's honestly amazing.

She unironically put the fear of God in Marinette's eyes in her first scene alone.

I also like how they handle her role as a love rival to Marinette. Unlike the show, Chloe and Adrien never interact, and it's implied that this continuity won't use the childhood friends element introduced in Season 2. It's a good way to show the difference between her and Marinette, how for all her boasting, Chloe doesn't know Adrien the way Marinette gets to know him.

Gabriel is easily the best part of the movie. This version is more fleshed out compared to the show. Rather than flip-flop between sympathetic and pure evil, the movie leans more on the sympathetic side for Gabriel's character. His very first scene shows the grief he's going through while thinking about Emilie, and Keith Silverstein gets to show off more emotions than just over the top sociopathy. You understand why he chooses to become a supervillain, but you want to see him get better, making for a very somber character. I especially love the delivery of the line where he finally gives in and transforms for the first time.

Gabriel: If chaos is the way, I will burn the world and lose myself in the flames to do so!

That line has no right to go as hard as it does.

We see him descend more into villainy as his appearance becomes more disheveled. Despite claiming to care for his son, the Gabriel and Adrien don't interact until the 70-minute mark. By the time the two do talk, Gabriel looks like a mess compared to how he looked at the beginning.

I really like this writing decision, as it highlights the distant relationship between the two, and how being Hawkmoth has only made things worse for Gabriel. Seeing Gabriel finally realize how unhealthy his coping mechanisms have been when he learns Adrien is Cat Noir is a satisfying scene, as it feels like a natural way to put an end to his arc. Compared to canon where he wins and never really feels bad for what he did, this version of Gabriel is far more remorseful at the sight of his son battered and bruised and breaks down sobbing. Remember, this was the version Astruc said we “wanted” and not the one we “needed”.

As for the Miraculous, things were changed to better fit the story, and I like most of what they did. I like how there's more focus on the teamwork between Ladybug and Cat Noir. Their Miraculous don't just grant a wish when used together. They literally become stronger when the two work together, and it makes a lot of sense. I like how the teamwork aspect is rewarded in-universe, because it shows how the heroes can do more than create and destroy stuff. I also think the addition of a call function on their Miraculous makes perfect sense, and clears up a ton of potential communication errors.

The fight scenes are also pretty creative. There's a lot of focus on using the environment to fight the Akumas. The very first fight has Ladybug and Cat Noir defeat the Akuma by letting a train hit it, and the second major fight involves a Ferris wheel going out of control. This leads to more varied action and well choreographed fight scenes. I especially like how with the exception of the Mime (and a brief reference to the Bubbler and Guitar Villain), all of the Akumas are brand-new, so older fans don't know what to expect with these guys.

This level of action also extends to the climax. Hawkmoth uses an Akuma on himself, sending out a massive flock of butterflies. You'd think it'd be like this movie's take on “Heroes' Day”, right? Nope! Instead, the Akumas become tiny attack drones that swarm over Paris like the eight plague of Egypt. I don't know how the animators managed to make an army of purple butterflies menacing, but by God, they did it.

Speaking of animators, my thoughts on the animation have changed drastically. While I still have minor gripes with the character design, I still love how the city of Paris is brought to life, making it seem more populated than in the show. I never really held the limited amount of civilians against the animators in the show, but I'm so happy we can see this show's environment on a cinematic budget. The animation is another reason why I think the action works so well in this movie.

Things I didn't like

When it comes to the changes to the Miraculous, one thing I'm not a fan of is Ladybug not getting her Lucky Charm. It misses the point of her having the power of creation. Yeah, she still has the spotted vision thing she had in the show, but it takes away what made the way she defeats Akumas interesting. She doesn't just beat them into submission. Sometimes, she outsmarts them or reasons with them, and part of the fun with the Lucky Charm is seeing just how she'll use something like a coat hanger or an old football trophy to defeat them.

I also don't like this movie's take on the Butterfly Miraculous. The very first scene has Master Fu build it up as an evil artifact capable of turning people into monsters. Remember, “Origins” established the Butterfly as something capable of creating superheroes, a power Gabriel twisted to create villains instead. Hell, I hate this rule, but the Paris Special made it clear that Miraculous can be used for good or evil, and it all depends on how the power is used. In other words, Miraculous don't kill people, people kill people. Bottom line, I prefer the idea of the Butterfly being the same as the other Miraculous, with the user and intent making it evil.

The one character who I felt the movie absolutely misrepresented was Plagg. This version of the character has none of the heart he had in the show. Yes, Plagg was crass there too, but he had just as many scenes showing how he cared for Adrien like a little brother or a nephew. He was Adrien's primary confidant and wanted to help him however he could. Even bad Plagg-centric episodes like “Kuro Neko” or “The Kwamis' Choice” made it clear he wants what's best for Adrien and is capable of coming up with plans if they'll help him.

Here, Plagg is mostly just there to make snide comments and fart a lot. Say what you will about the show, but at least it didn't make Plagg farting into a running gag. Plagg only gets a handful of lines in the entire movie, to the point where even Tom has more lines than he does. Tikki gets plenty of scenes with Marinette and an entire song, while Plagg feels like an afterthought.

Things I'm mixed on

This might be a little controversial, but I have mixed feelings on the portrayal of the Love Square as a whole in this movie. Don't get me wrong, the Ladynoir scenes are great, but there's not as many Adrienette, Ladrien, or Marichat scenes. In fact, I don't think there were any Ladrien or Marichat scenes in this movie, which is weird. I can at least excuse those, but it's weird how little Adrienette scenes there are. Not counting the masks, they only have four major scenes together before the end, and one of those is a deleted scene that had the dialogue cut over a montage.

While I'm glad the entire movie wasn't about the Love Square drama, the romance between Marinette and Adrien specifically feels a little rushed. I think it would have benefited the movie to have ten or fifteen more minutes to flesh out this subplot a little instead of only focusing on Ladynoir.

I'm also unsure what to say about the songs. Most of them are pretty catchy and have great visuals, but the dissonance between the singing voices of Marinette and Adrien throws me off. I don't get why neither actor for the French or English dub was asked to sing. For some reason, Tikki and Gabriel's voice actors got to sing, but not Marinette and Adrien. At the very least, Drew Ryan Scott's singing voice sort of sounds like Adrien, but Lou's singing voice makes Marinette sound twice her age. Don't get me wrong, I still liked the songs, but this choice was very jarring to me.

And now, because literally nobody asked for it, here's every song in the movie ranked.

8. If I Believed in Me

A very dull “I want” song that's just Marinette wandering around Paris on the way to school. Compared to “Little Town” from Beauty and the Beast, where you can easily follow Belle and understand how she goes about her day, it's not clear what kind of route Marinette is taking. Even the lyrics are pretty bland, just talking about wanting to follow her dreams and be more confident. The issue is that her dreams of being a fashion designer barely factor into the plot, and she only becomes more confident thanks to being a superhero, something she didn't dream of. The only real dud in the soundtrack.

7. Opening Remix

Not much to say here. It's a remix of the opening theme with the new singers. It sounds nice.

6. Reaching Out

This is a much better song than “If I Believed in Me”. It does a great job expressing Marinette's doubt and how she feels pressured to be somebody she's not. Great way to follow up on her heart getting broken by Adrien.

5. My Lady

This one's a quickie, but it's still fun. I love the visuals in this one and how it gradually crescendos, reflecting the new feelings Cat Noir has for Ladybug developing.

4. Stronger Together

Surprisingly, Ladybug and Cat Noir's only duet in the movie, but it's still really good. I love the use of the set in the theater Cat Noir took Ladybug to at the beginning before they run around Paris. The lyrics do a great job showing how far the two's relationship has come, making it clear how close they are, only for reality to metaphorically kick them out of the sky.

3. You Are Ladybug

Another duet, this time between Marinette and Tikki. While I still think Cristina Vee should have gotten to sing this one song given her chemistry with Mela Lee, Lou still does a great job expressing her anxiety. The back and forth between Tikki and Marinette makes this a blast to watch, especially with it using the same music as the theme song. Even the rap part with Tikki was fun to watch. I especially love the part where Tikki excitedly tells Marinette about how dangerous the job is and how close she'll come to getting killed.

2. Chaos Will Reign Today

The villain song in this movie had no right to be as good as it is. The visuals are eerie and fit the more menacing tone of the song. Keith Silverstein gives his all to make up for his crime of singing the Hawkmoth Rap. It's also a hell of a lot better than the villain song Disney had to offer that year.

1. Courage in Me

Easily my favorite song in the movie. The visuals of Marinette struggling to hop across these black spots symbolizing her yo-yo before her transformation into Ladybug is awe-inspiring. The lyrics are a great way to solidify Marinette embracing her role as Ladybug, and it's such a triumphant song to listen to.

Other things I noticed

During the first Akuma fight, Ladybug and Cat Noir pass by some guys with stereotypical French accents while almost every other character speaks like they're in America.

Careless Whisper plays one time in Cat Noir's mind as he develops feelings for Ladybug. The fact that he listens to it after getting his heart broken has to be one of the most subtle jokes I've ever seen in this franchise. Of course, it's clear what the best superhero cover of Careless Whisper really is.

Cat Noir says he has the power of destruction in his introduction while being impressed when Master Fu says the same thing.

There's a Volkswagon tie-in that actually features the two heroes promoting some cars in-universe. This is a real shot from the movie.

I think Chloe ships Alyanette, judging from this exchange:

Marinette: Seriously, Alya, you think Adrien would say yes?

Alya: Of course! I'm gonna ask Nino.

Chloe: I think you should go together, 'cause Adrien is coming with me, not with some baker girl.

I don't think Ladybug ever learned Cat Noir could play the piano, so seeing Cat Noir try to woo her with a little piano number is a nice inclusion.

When Cat Noir's mask is destroyed in the final battle, his exposed eye is still green. Was this where the chibi shorts got the idea from?

Other people have pointed this out, but the picture of Adrien as a kid is traced from a character from The Boss Baby. That's an automatic ten point deduction for making me remember that movie exists.

The post-credits scene with Nathalie was weird.

Did Master Fu not know he lost the Peacock Miraculous too?

Why isn't Emilie in any form of suspended animation?

Is the Peacock still damaged?

Did the Peacock still kill her/send her into a coma?

Was Adrien still created by the Peacock?

Why didn't Gabriel use the Peacock or at least consider it?

Did Gabriel forget to tell anyone about the other Miraculous he has after turning himself in?

Why did Gabriel choose to tell Nathalie when she didn't seem to help him while he was still Hawkmoth?

Final Thoughts

Overall, this was a really good movie, and a fresh take on the show's universe. I had issues with it, but I still think this movie series has promise. The animation was great, the songs were catchy, and the characterization was on point for the most part. It even manages to be a better musical than the ones big names like Disney and Warner Bros have made in the past two years. It's one of the best things to come out of the franchise, no question. I wouldn't mind future installments set in this continuity over whatever Season 6 churns out.

[szoboobszlai]

THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT US

word counter: +1,8k

pairing: trent alexander-arnold x physiotherapist!female reader

warnings: none!

author notes: hey everyone! first of all, i just wanted to wish you a very happy new year; 2024 was absolutely amazing for me, and having your notes and feedback on my writing is something that really made me grateful, so, THANK YOU!

this is a new part of my one direction lyric-based writing series, that you can find here. also, click here for my full masterlist.

liverpool football club has always been more than just a job for you. as the team’s physiotherapist, you loved every moment, every pass, every win and loss. it was your place, your purpose. but what you didn’t expect was that football would bring you face to face with a completely different kind of challenge.

trent alexander-arnold. his name echoed in your head constantly since he started being your patient. the young player, with an impressive skill, an unwavering dedication to the team, but also a quiet, enigmatic energy, something you always noticed but never dared to explore.

it all started with an ankle injury trent had. the need for more intense care meant you were the one who treated him most often. the physiotherapy sessions became moments of conversation that went beyond what was necessary; you talked about games, the team, the season’s expectations… but slowly, you started sharing more than just that.

“do you really think this injury is going to take us out of the title race?” trent asked one day, as you applied ice to his ankle, his brown eyes meeting yours.

“you’re strong enough to overcome this, and you know liverpool needs you.” you said, smiling at him, trying to stay professional, but there was something in his gaze that made you feel there was more to it. “you can’t give up now, trent.”

he laughed, a genuine smile that made your heart beat faster. “you know, you always talk like you’re our mental therapist, not just the physical one.”

“i am, i am.” you laughed back, trying to push the growing tension between you both aside.

but, in your hearts, you knew it was more than just a professional relationship. with every touch during the treatment, every furtive glance, the connection grew stronger. you couldn’t deny what you were feeling, but you both knew that something so delicate needed to be kept secret. what would people say about a physiotherapist and a football player being involved? the club, the teammates, the fans… no one would understand.

the view of his smile echoed in your mind when you thought about what was beginning to grow between you two — you had shared so many moments, but never in front of others. on the field, he was the icon, the standout player. you, just the physiotherapist who, with skilled hands, helped the team stay on their feet. but when you met in private, away from the curious eyes and microphones, it felt like the world was too small for the two souls that had found each other.

it was on an autumn night, after a hard game, that the tension between you two finally overflowed. liverpool had won, but trent, still exhausted, was feeling the pain in his legs. you followed him to the locker room for one last check, knowing he was in good shape, but also aware of how physically affected he might be.

after the treatment, you found yourselves alone, a rare moment in the busy routine of training and games. he looked at you, his brown eyes deep, locking with yours. the silence between you both grew heavy.

“y/n…” he began, his voice low, hesitant. “i need to tell you something.”

you felt your heart race, the professionalism you always maintained starting to waver in the face of the intensity of the moment.

“i have something to tell you too.” you smiled, trying to stay calm, but the anxiety took over you. you both knew what was about to happen. you were about to cross the thin line between what was acceptable and what was risky.

trent took a step closer, his hands now intertwining with yours. “they don’t know about us, y/n. no one knows how real this is.” he moved even closer, until your lips met for the first time, softly, like a silent promise.

the kiss was quick, but it was etched in your memory. it felt like time had stopped. but when you pulled away, the world started spinning again, and you were back in reality: you were hidden.

“i think we need to be careful,” you whispered as you pulled back slightly, trying to breathe.

“i know, but i can’t act like it’s not real anymore.” trent said, sincerity in his eyes. “i need you, y/n. but if this is too much for you…”

you interrupted him, smiling at him. “i need you too. but let’s keep this between us. just the two of us.”

in the following days, the tension grew in a different way: the chemistry between you was more visible than ever, but no one spoke of it. you and trent continued with your routine, keeping up the professional facade in front of everyone else. but with each meeting, each furtive glance, the connection between you two grew even more. you were being careful, trying to hide what no one could know.

this is how things had to be. a secret shared only between you two. when trent felt weak, you were his strength. when he won, you were there to celebrate, silently, always by his side, but never visible to others.

and even though the outside world didn’t know, you both knew what you had. a love no one could understand, but that remained strong despite the external pressures. a love that, no matter how much the world tried to ignore, was unbreakable.

and maybe that’s what made what you had even more special. the secret you shared in the glances and the silences. you both knew that, in the end, what mattered was what was between you. and that, no one could ever take away.

[di-42]

2024 fic roundup

Finally getting round to doing this! Just in time for the end of the year!

Many, many thanks to @curiouspupsicle and @bellisima-writes for tagging me all those weeks ago, ant to @cheeseplants for creating the questions. Enjoy curious's answers here, bellisima's answers here, cheeseplants's answers here.

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens, only Good Omens, nothing but Good Omens.

How many words have you published in 2024?

133k. Huh! Me?

What is your greatest achievement this year?

In the context of fandom and fanfiction, being brave enough to put myself out there and share my work is probably my greatest personal achievement. But I'm also quite proud to have plotted an 85k fiction while working 55 hours a week (and being lucky enough to have a husband and friends to spend my free time with).

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

That's an easy one! None of my favourite three are the ones with more engagement, strangely enough!

And I Did, rated E, 85k.

While I know this could have been written much better, I am incredibly proud of this fiction. It's whole season 3 fiction where I managed to pour all my headcanon in a way that hopefully doesn't feel too forced. I think it has an original plot, good side characters and tension. I tried to throw in some humour wherever possible as well. It features Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Grand Duke of Hell Crowley. They haven't talked for almost two years. The end of the world is approaching. They are on opposite sides. And they both know neither of them was ever going to make a different choice to the one they made.

Only Ever Meant For Someone Else, rated T, 9k.

My first human AU, wheee! It was so much fun to write! I think writing human AUs allows so much freedom, although one shots and shorter stories can be a bit harder than canon compliant short stories. But I had a chance to explore some versions of the characters that I don't really see in canon, but very much enjoy in fictions, and wanted to try my hand at that. And I liked the result! Written for the Scribbling Vaguely Downwards advent calendar.

Every year, the night before Christmas, taxi driver Aziraphale drives passengers to and from the hospital for charity. On the Christmas morning of 2023 he was ready to go home and rest with a cup of tea, a mince pie, and a book after a long night.

Guess who?

“No, you may not!” Barked the other. Then he started pacing up and down the pavement, rambling to himself. “Anathema’s going to kill me. She’s actually going to kill me! She had to go into labour on fucking Christmas day, just my luck!”

Oh, dear.

“In-into labour?”

The stranger stopped pacing and, yet again, looked at Aziraphale sternly. He joined together the tips of his right thumb and forefinger, and punctuated his next words with a gracious movement of his hand.

“Yeah. It means she’s about to give birth.”

“Does it, now.”

Angel! Angel! They're At It Again! rated M, 5k

I really love this little story of mine. I've been told that it made some readers cry and laugh at the same time, and it doesn't get much better than that.

It's the year 2030. The world never ended. Aziraphale and Crowley are living happily and safely together as a married couple. Everything would be well, if it wasn't that lately Aziraphale has been a bit busy. A bit distracted. Now, Crowley can't have that, can he? He seeks the advice of his girlfriends, who unwittingly give him an idea on how to liven up his marriage.

A fluffy story about how we get to a certain cottage.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Tying up all the loose ends in And I Did. Sometimes it felt like I was just hitting a wall and I couldn't possibly ever go through. I felt so embarrassed -mortified, really- that some people had read the story up to a certain point and I had just to let them down, because I couldn't possibly write anything that would make sense with the rest of the story. Even though the main points were planned from the beginning, there were still all those little details that write themselves, basically, and I had no idea what to do with some of them towards the end. I still don't know how I managed to pull it off, honestly, but somehow I did it in a way that I found satisfying enough.

What have you learned?

That people are so much better than I am. Really. And I don't mean at writing fiction. Well, people are better than me at writing fiction, but that's not what I mean here. The amount of people who are ready to read about someone else's ideas and headcanons with an open mind, enjoy stories that they don't necessarily agree with, is astounding. I have very much to learn from this community.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I could tell you. But then I would have to erase your memory.

A fiction that has never made it off the ground is a fiction that has yet to make it off the ground.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I was asked a couple of times, but due partly to my lack of time, partly to English not being my first language, I had to reluctantly decline. I do offer my thoughts on my betas' fictions, though. One of them hasn't published her work yet, and the other has a fantastic one shot on Ao3, called The Corset.

Aziraphale never understood just why he had been issued with a body likes his. He was the Guardian of the Eastgate, after all! So when in the 17th century corsets for men were fashionable again, he had an idea ...

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Hah! We both know it's not going to be only three, don't we?

Some of these fics were written before, some long before, 2024, but I only read them this year. It's quite hard to pick my favourites among so much talent and creativity, but I'll do my best. I also can't help but notice that my all time favourites are not among the superpopular ones, so please don't be shy and check them out! (And leave kudos and comments!)

The Beginning Of The End (Again), rated M, 78k.

Season 3 fiction full of plot, great characterisation, humour and pining. It has of course a happy ending. It is beyond me how this fic didn't get more engagement, especially when it first came out, closer to the end of season 2.

The Anon Before Christmas, rated E, 66k.

One of my favourite human AUs. The characterisation is spot on and the slow burn is just absolutely perfect. But I did love the whole array of characters surrounding Crowley and Aziraphale. I love how this story is as much about friendship and chosen family than it is about love and romance.

The Bookseller And The Garden, rated T, 13k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley is a demon stationed on earth, Aziraphale is an angel stationed on earth, but they have never met until present day. There's no end of the world in sight, only an angel and a demon falling in love and not knowing how to break it to the other that they're not human. I laughed all the way through.

Wrong Turn, rated T, 37k.

Honestly, I don't know why this fiction touched me so much. I just couldn't stop thinking about it for days after I finished it. It's a post season 1 fiction where Crowley suddenly finds himself in a parallel universe at the time the apocalypse is just about to happen. The Crowley and Aziraphale in that universe have a different history to our Crowley and Aziraphale. All our Crowley wants to do is to go back to his universe and his very own angel, but how? As you follow the main plot and focus on Crowley's thoughts and actions, you'll start slowly feeling the other story get hold of you, and it won't let go until the very end and beyond.

Happiness, More Or Less, rated M, 21k

This human AU moved me so very much I cried. Crowley moves into his new flat in Soho, only to discover the flat in haunted by the ghost of the owner of the bookshop downstairs. I won't tell anything else about the plot other than it does have a very sweet happy ending, and it gets there via a rollercoaster of emotions. This is really one of those fictions that leave me in awe of the fandom's talent and creativity. Read it, read it, read it!

One last one that I haven't finished reading yet, but I know it's one of my all time favourites, is The Last Angel, rated E, 162k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley and Aziraphale were never assigned to earth, Armageddon happened and hell won the war. I've said many things about this fiction, among which that I can't believe the writer does this in her spare time and writing is not actually her job, and this is the most Good Omens-y fic I have ever read. It's astoundingly good.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Watch out for The Angel Horror Show! When I learned that Peter Hinwood, the actor who played Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show didn't have a long career as an actor, bout instead went on to become an antiques dealer, I knew I had to write this fiction with Aziraphale as the actor who many years ago played Angel/Rocky in The Angel Horror Show and subsequent film The Angel Horror Picture Show and is now living a comfortable life as a book and antiques dealer, and Crowley as the actor who played Demon/Frank, and went on to become a successful movie and theatre actor and director. I've just started writing it and I'm extremely excited about it!

Who do you want to thank?

Without the shadow of a doubt @sabine-smitten-obviously and IneffableShortCake who have been so incredibly generous with their time and support in the past 8 months! But also everyone who's ever left me a comment making me feel like my stories were liked, from the long comments to the ones with just enthusiastic syllables, from the incredibly witty ones to the more personal ones, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tag, answer any Qs that suit and play along!

I think because I'm so late in the game that most of the writers I would usually tag have already been tagged by someone else, but perhaps a few haven't done this yet.

@smua70 @ngk-668 @ineffable-duck7

And anyone who wants to answer!

This was fun!

[velvetvexations]

Some morrrrre enby takes, plus one about the concept of binary privilege, and as a reminder to be safe...

Disrespecting yourself is when you use the term you actively prefer apparently. It would be much more respectful of me to call myself words that actively make me uncomfortable.

"Grown ass adults should not be embracing immaturity" Wow, absolute dogshit take. Why not? Why are adults not allowed to embrace 'childish' things? Why does it matter how other people refer to themselves, it literally does not effect you if other adults use words or like things that you (general you) think are too childish. I myself am in my 30s and that just sounds to me like more of the same garbage that's always been shoved down everyone's throats about how fun stops at adulthood, no watching shows aimed at kids or having stuffed animals or wearing fun clothes because if you do no one with take you Seriously. No calling yourself a boy or a girl or an enby because those are baby words for babies and letting someone call you that is allowing yourself to be disrespected. Like I'm sorry but that's also the same logic others use to misgender me when I say I use it/it's pronouns, that to them it's disrespectful so I'm really the problem for preferring it. I cannot stress this enough, how other people define themselves and what words they feel comfortable with is none of your business and someone liking a word you don't is not a threat to you. Also like, some of us feel out of touch with our actual ages for one reason or another and may enjoy childish specifically because they're childish, and again, that isn't anyone's business but their own. You can hate being called something, you can want there to be more variety in what terms are commonly used to refer to nonbinaries as a group, you can tell people to not ever uses a specific word to refer to you, and you can be upset that a word you don't like is being used as a default, but you don't ever get to police how other people feel about it or what they call themselves. I am an adult who has never been able to really conceptualize myself as an adult or even a human due in large part to autism and ptsd, and I'm going to call myself an enby and an it regardless of other more Serious Adults are shaking their head and judging me for it, because my identity is for me, not for the approval of others. I didn't mean to go off quite that hard or get so worked up, sorry if that was too aggressive Velvet, I know you don't really have a horse in this race.

As a nonbinary man (as one of mnay mostly-fitting labels), I have deeply mixed feelings on the question of "is enby infantilizing as a default?" because, On the one hand, I understand the linguistic argument that it is on the grounds that many of the most common nouns that end in a long E sound are diminutives or otherwise "cutesy" (baby, puppy, kitty, cutie, mommy, daddy...) - even if the etymology isn't as infantilizing as some myths make it out to be, it doesn't exist in a vacuum with regards to existing language NOR with regards to common stereotypes of nonbinary people, and those things can DEFINITELY be argued to collide in a pretty unfortunate way, On the other hand, there are a lot of people - not everyone who makes the argument, but enough to be a derailing factor in the conversation - whose arguments against it DO come from exclusionist myths about etymology, or worse, "vibes" such that when you take even the slightest look under the surface you see that they've either internalized the stereotype that nonbinary people (other than themselves of course) are all just white teenage girls trying to be special, or at the very least they're letting that stereotype have WAY too much control over them, and often nearly get to the point of saying that ANYTHING other than the longform and almost clinical "nonbinary person" would be too infantilizing, But on the third, transhuman robot hand, well, isn't the line between "letting the stereotype have too much control" and "acknowledging the fact that the language doesn't exist in a vacuum and can have unfortunate implications due to how the sounds of English interact with that stereotype" kind of blurry in the first place? And on the fourth cyborg hand, we STILL haven't gotten the damned exclusionists who will argue for OR against it in bad faith to shut up! Personally I'm on board with the idea of "enban" and "enby" to have the same relationship as "woman" and "girl" + "man" and "boy" - references to the same category of genders, with the appropriate word chosen based on context and Vibes that are loosely but not entirely based on the age of the person in question - but I'm not super invested in the specifics; I like to study them more than direct them, so I'm not gonna be personally offended if that's not what takes off or anything.

i think enby is fine for the most part but as someone who has identified as genderqueer since before people started widely using nb it does bother me a little bit in the same way as a lot of language shifts around "other" genders that there's an assumption that everyone who uses them identifies with the term "nonbinary", which i honestly wouldn't mind as much as an umbrella term if it wasn't for the fact that a large driving force behind this shift was "you can't say genderqueer because queer is a slur and that's icky" (and also the most widely used nonbinary flag was created both because of this and because "too many afabs are genderqueer so it's not a welcoming label for transfems!!" (the person who coined genderqueer is transfem) and i know like nobody knows that anymore but it still stings)

As a black nonbinary person I never understood why nb had to just mean non black or non binary??? thats dumb. anything can be shorted to its starting/defining letters. thats like when people got mad at twitter/tiktok users for shortening white to yr to save space and they weee all like "thats youtube!!" its dumb and no one ever needed to act like they couldn't share a term when context will make it clear what youre talking about. enby is a perfectly grown up word that just fine to personally feel like it doesn't fit without implying that a term many adults comfortably use is infintalizing. just say you dont like it because its not accurate and ask people to use what works for you!

Yeah honestly the enby over NB conversation was... bad. And particularly galling as someone who is a) nonbinary and b) Australian Aboriginal because so much of the framing of it was this very American-centric, 'how fucking dare you not be aware of Black American conversations' vibe from the same people who scream and cry and piss themselves every time one of us calls ourselves Blak or says "hey if you're into omegaverse can you please not use the term a/b/o without the slashes, it's a pretty violent slur towards us" or rejects the term POC as not being relevant to our experience of racism on our own land or literally anything else about our oppression that doesn't centre American voices. It exposed a really ugly side to a lot of anti-racism advocates, many of whom *weren't even Black themselves but white 'allies'* and I really hope we're not about to rehash it just because some people don't like seeing 'enby'. I'm Australian. It's culturally impossible for me to spell out an entire word when there's a shortened nickname version available. Sorry.

“NB exclusively means nonblack” “enby came about as a result of black bloggers saying not to use it” wrong actually! It was a result of white saviors saying that black bloggers said not to use it: we never did ^-^ hope this helps!!

This whole discussion of 'binary privellege' has made me think more about my thoughts about the term privellege overall. I really think its about time we stop referring to marginalized groups as having privilege over one another. Like. I believe that transmisogyny, transandrophobia, and exorsexism are all real forms of oppression. Trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people experience oppression in forms that are often different from each other. But if two people each have privellege over the other in certain areas, doesn't that kind of just balance out to them being the same amount of privelleged? They should be able to talk about their own experiences and what makes them different, but trying to measure which marginalized group has privellege over another one just seems like a waste of time. As a nonbinary person, I face a lot of exorsexism. There's types of transphobia that I experience which the binary trans people around me generally don't. Does that mean they have binary privilege? Absolutely not! The oppression they face isn't better or worse, it's just different. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to talk about my experiences or have words to describe them. It doesn't mean my experiences aren't important or worth discussing. But I think framing the difference as 'privelege' inherently implies that my oppression is worse than theirs... and that's the problem. They aren't any better off than i am. We're both still facing bigotry, that bigotry just doesn't look exactly the same. Anyway sorry if this is rambly or doesn't make sense. Brain fog is fucking me up right now but hopefully I've managed to edit it enough to be somewhat coherent. This may or may not be my 5th attempt at writing this ask but at least I THINK it makes sense this time

[ghostfucking]

I dont need to say anything

If it's true, it will be known

[quillkiller]

sorry to say but barty + the rosier twins are in love and i’ve thought about nothing else since yesterday

[our-lesboy-experience]

Ok one thing I want to say is as a trans man I’m personally uncomfortable if a lesbian wants to date me. However I don’t mind trans men who do date lesbians because that’s totally cool, I just wish people wouldn’t make a big fuss about it when I say that “I” don’t want to (im super attracted to men being one reason) and my childhood best friend who’s a lesbian is cool with it too

yeah!! it always confuses me when people say lesbians or trans men "can't do xyz," because you know. people CAN do whatever they want regardless of sexuality. and when people ask you if you if you think they can it's like....yes?? because they have free will?? I can't control someone's personal decisions??

[lovveclub]

no room for pretentious people in my life!!!! you will not stop me!!!! im living life and doing things!!!!

[melancholic-pigeon]

Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.

THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.

Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.

Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.

Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.

I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.

End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

*revised for clarity

[bmpmp3]

dysgraphic artiƨts risɘ UP!!!!!

[menlove]

i can just feel myself starting to give less of a fuck as i reach 25 and you know what thank god

[confinesofmy]

i've been thinking about it and i'm not cursed at all i'm just living in struggle county and poor. no one here is doing their job correctly. nothing ever works out. groceries are through the roof because of the monopolies the local stores have and when there are sales they don't update their system so you don't even pay the sale prices. i tried to get a dent in my car fixed through insurance and had difficulty reaching the insurance office, then difficulty reaching the body work places, then never got a callback after my appointment so i stopped pursuing it. i had weird lights on my dash a different time, took it in. they wiped the warning readouts and told me to take it somewhere else and when i did the readouts were no longer present so they couldn't do anything. that all took 3 hours out of my day for nothing. i bought new tires but they weren't a certified dealer so i don't get the brand warranty in its entirety, which i hope never becomes relevant. when i went to the doctor they gave me the wrong dosage on my script then wouldn't fix it without another appointment that i couldn't afford so i just quit taking it. the local pharmacy will run low on a med and edit your script to accomodate their shortage but then you run out early and don't have a script anymore and the pharmacy says it's your problem not theirs. mail often runs late so you'll miss important appointments and deadlines because if the office itself is 4 business days late sending out their mail and then the postal service is 3 business days late bam. that's you getting your mail a week and a half late. it's unlivable. you're not meant to live here.