I mean, I was familiar with the notoriety of F.A.T.A.L. back in the day, but I was under the impression that nobody actually liked or played with it. The idea that some pre-tumblr-renaissance DnD nerds got together in a basement to work out the math on how good they are at fucking or to earn skills from screwing zombies is both uncomfortable and heartwarming
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In real life, the traddest men I know: change diapers; do chores; are present and playful with their kids; take good care of their wives; work 50+ hours a week to provide for their families; literally never think about the 1950s.
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[ID: a drawing of pye from outer wilds, standing with her writing staff. she's wearing an orange nomai space suit without the helmet, and she has a light brown face with curly darker brown fur. end ID]
figuring out how i want to draw the nomai, so here's a pye since i am obsessed with her !!!
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it is fascinating to me that the majority of people it seems have never considered that borders are just lines on a map? its just a piece of paper? not to have anarchic tendencies but like. it’s just words
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trying to look for a ttrpg group in spaces where I can't just go 'listen I want to play this shit in the tumblr fandom kind of model (gay subtext extremely welcome bordering on essential, mutual unhinged character psychoanalysis, we could create a novel of a backstory together to make this sadder, let's all play with our OC dolls together and also sometimes dice are rolled I guess)' and be readily understood and/or not be immediately side-eyed or denigrated for my inherent unavoidable tumblerinaness feels like such an annoying debuff to deal with on the quest. like I know my people exist out there but how do I express myself in the right way and wade through all the copious not-it (not for me) dynamics to find them!!!
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Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"
Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"
Demon: "You're a bad writer"
Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"
Demon: "You're a bad leader"
Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"
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anyway so a few years back at one of mom's old churches, someone snuck a pair of nunchucks (illegal in Ohio, also sir this is A Fucking Church) into the donations for the rummage sale.
I went to help out sorting through and pricing things yesterday for her newest church's sale and found a whole-ass iron(?) dagger with a very sharpened foot-long blade in one of the bins...
with a bonus eagle & swastika hilt
so that's fun 🫠
my dude. like what was your plan here. "yes the 50¢ an item fundraiser is definitely gonna sell a fucking nazi knife to support their free community breakfasts. I am a Good Person."
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Forever annoyed that "don't speak over marginalized people", the notion that marginalized people are already spoken over, and their oppressors need to actually listen and learn before speaking about complicated topics and need to do so in support of not OVER them, so quickly turned into "I'm not x so I can't speak on x issues". Like the "don't speak on this if you're not this" started out so well meaning because it was about people needing to actually take the time to learn before talking about issues they didn't previously understand! Now it's just an excuse for people to never learn about the issues minorities face or to actually stand up for them in any meaningful way
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I need some help. There's a guy.
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like hearing an autistic person talking abt realizing like "oh so friendships for some ppl don't involve always having to maintain a performance" and going damn right yeah and now "oh so friendships for some ppl involve their getting to expect that the other ppl will be interested in them and provide support" like huh go figure. more surprising like oh right i guess i always felt like interactions require maintaining a performance that can only go wrong (generally true; like there's no "well you're ruining things by keeping ppl from being the Real You so just Be Yourself" like a] masking isn't Real or done by Yourself or b] like if you unmask people like you now & ableism is over, b/c it was your fault for reacting to it in the first place) & thus also that i should be interested & provide support but not expect that in turn / the sense as well that you are/can only come up short and have things to make up for anyways while lucky whoever's even providing the time of day
then it's always an Exercise to go "oh right well beyond going [my god autistic character] the whole time, what Things re: winston billions was i still not quite seeing as as unusual / Not Good as they are. even for billions" like sure noticing he's holding on to the hopes of some kind of positive / actual relationship w/rian for like year 950 & this manifesting with the Determined Friendliness but zooming in like oh i guess that adamant amicability sure involves winston suppressing a negative reaction to negative treatment and yet still hoping for an improvement, which like, was always Possible but a) hinged on rian simply choosing to change how she regards/treats him (or someone intervening to change the situation) & b) apparently is not going to happen. thinking like yeah that's very Friendly of him. and knowing like man winston's sure still trying to keep this friendliness offer open for like two years. but also now more specifically going like Yeah and pretty fucked then that his baseline expectations don't include that Mutual Interest & Support (though someone being abusive is definitely interested just not in any good ways. and certainly not (actually) supportive)
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Ive been having lots of talks lately with my mom abt politics n the state of the world, Good conversations to be sure, and theyre great bc we both make good points and can compare different experiences and all -- but good God the fact that she's still seems to have. More subconscious faith in the moral integrities of the nebulous concept of a government or corporation More than she has faith in the the moral integrity of the nebulous concept of our societal peers. She talks about it like the Second a group like that is founded, its set of ethics just Miraculously appears out from the ether + just happens to Always be morally sound by default. I cant seem to find a way to word things that with like... idk. Help it Click that those corporations are still run by People and are therefore just as fallible 💀 technically More so but she's convinced capitalism is Never going to go away so she doesn't care about the whole "company's and governments in power, as they exist today, Have A Monetary Incentive To Lie To Us As Much As They Can" thing cuz shes such a damn pessimist and assumes All people have been doing that Forever 💀💀💀 SIGH it's nbd i just needed to put it in words bc its been on my mind on and off
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the thing abt this website (and really, every other website and also people irl) is that you'll be introduced to a new person who seems interesting (read: has some stuff to say that you agree with), and you'll think, ooh, maybe i should follow them! and then you'll check out their blog and realize, oh, fuck, right, they're the same person who was advocating 'systematic and targeted online harassment' of people who spread a message they dislike, as though that were either an acceptable way to behave or, for that matter, an effective way to convince anyone of anything—like, hello, if you harass your enemies they will shut their ears to you and become further entrenched in their current positions! also decent people will see what you're doing and distrust you even if your cause would otherwise earn their sympathy!
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there is no greater feeling of assurance than seeing a tiktok with what you thought was a completely preposterous hateful biased quite frankly bigoted awful take with hundreds and thousands of comments agreeing with it being just as awful hateful bigoted then feeling more unsettled and very very bothered for genuinely days after leaving the video be and still stewing in the icky feeling it left you only to then come across a bunch of videos echoing your original thoughts on how hateful and harmful of a take it was with plenty of people in the comments agreeing it didn’t sit well with them and they also felt very put off by how awful hateful etc etc etc it was
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on a serious note going through active shooter training with people older than me on the order of decades makes me think that much more people would probably agree on tighter gun controls than younger generations realize. they just either can’t bring themselves to discuss it openly or feel like such discussion wouldn’t be welcome
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in my onion i think "major traumas vs minor traumas" kind of sounds like elitist horseshit . bc the only way to categorize that is based on how a person reacts to a trauma and everyone reacts differently to things . something thats a minor trauma for some1 might be a major trauama for someone else yk ? esp autistic people whoreact incredibly strongly to situations no matter what .
ANYWAY all this to say the line is where you draw it . sry to repeat your therapist >_>;
okay this does make sense actually. ty for the response!!!!
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