#what is with me and divorced soft at heart mom friends

[dustykneed]

good mornin everypony im sleep deprived!!! have a spones i found in my notes app<3333

this was supposed to be mcspirk but i just... gave up halfway i guess? :P it's an arthurian-esque au if you squint (now that i think about it i think i gave up halfway BECAUSE i couldn't decide on jim's design lmfao i regret that sorely but alas)

btw i have seen your asks!! and i have PLANS for them !!!!!! especially that one i have a whole ass completed unintentional thing in my gallery for !!!!!!!! but i hyperfixated on writing fic for like a week and then work punted me into the sun but i have seen them and i love yall so dearly!! and i will get to them very soon. kthxbaiiiii<33333

[dira333]

Of Lovers and Friends - Ushijima x Reader

thank you @screamin-abt-haikyuu talking to you is inspiring

If you find a typo, I wrote this instead of going to bed. Goodnight.

“Just a Tonic Water, please,” You order, well aware of all the eyes on you.

“Are you sick?” Kindaichi asks, already pressing a hand against your forehead.

“Pregnant?” Kunimi’s next, though less serious.

“As if, you can’t get pregnant from RPG,” Makki points out, licking foam off his lip.

“You would know,” you tell him, a little peeved, as you push Kindaichi away.

“I’m fine. I just have a date later.”

Yahabi whistles, clearly impressed. God, you need to amp up your game. This is just sad.

“Who is it?” Kyoutani asks, forever your best friend. Or at least the one guy who’s seemingly the least interested in teasing you.

“I don’t know, my Mom set us up. She went to school with his Mom or something like that. I just know that he plays Volleyball and is about my age.”

“Could be anyone,” Watari mumbles into his Aperol Spritz.

“Could be Ushijima,” Mattsun jokes, causing Makki to choke on his beer, spluttering as he bellows out a laugh.

“Can you imagine? That would be hilarious!”

“Har har har,” you thank the waitress for your drink and lean back in your chair, “Can we change the topic? Does Makki have a job yet?”

“Uncalled for!” Makki points an accusing finger at you. “And no. But a little birdy told me that Kyoutani’s got a fangirl.”

Kyoutani blushes, glaring into his drink. The girl must mean something to him if he’s trying to pull himself together like this. You swerve to look at Kindaichi who’s managed to spill his diet coke - again.

“What about you? Did you call that girl we met at the coffee shop?”

“No,” he ducks his head. “I didn’t. I was… I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself.”

“Yeah, well, you did,” Makki lets his eyes wander as usual, “Tell you what. There’s a nice girl with her friends two tables over. We’ll get you her number but you have to call. Or at least send her some funny memes, okay?”

“Okay,” Kindaichi’s looking at you. Makki’s looking at you.

You groan and get up. “Next time you get someone else to get that number, okay? This is the last time.”

“Love you too, pumpkin!” Makki calls after you as you make your way over. These patterns have turned familiar.

-

You should have gotten a beer, you think two hours later as you wait, your legs twitching with anxiety. 

You’ve been painfully single for so long that you can’t help but feel you should have worn a dress or at least something more fancy than the jeans and top combo you’re sporting. But it’s comfy and it sets you at ease. And you’ve always been an advocate for being yourself on the first date. If they don’t like you like that, they won’t matter anyway.

So far that has brought you a lot of first dates and not a lot of second dates.

A deep voice calls out your name. You turn, your hands clutching the single purple carnation you had to bring - your mother’s idea. 

You spot the flower first, a tiny purple thing held in massive hands. He’s tall, impressively so. You let your eyes wander up as he walks over, the flickering street light casting long shadows over his face until he’s reached you and the soft warm glow of the restaurant behind you. 

Your heart skips a painful beat as he attempts a rather forced smile.

“Ushijima-kun,” you stutter, the confidence earned in twenty-something years shattered and replaced by the anxious brain of a teenager.

He offers you his hand, the one without the flower and you take it. His palm swallows yours, his grip warm and firm. If you can blend out the history your team has with his, that your friends have with him, you can give him a chance, right?

-

“Are you close with your mother?” He asks in the tense moment when the food’s already been ordered and the drinks aren’t served yet. It’s the worst possible question to ask, too, because no, you’re not close. Not since she went through with the divorce, unable to settle with a man ever since, as dissatisfied with them as she is with life, her business, you.

You don’t ramble often, but you do when you’re nervous. 

If he’s taken aback by the flood of words, of trauma seemingly long overcome, he does not show. He’s like a rock, sitting steadfast in the crashing river of your emotions, unmoving, sturdy.

When you’re finished, throat a little dry, he nods slowly. 

“My parents are divorced as well,” he says. You wonder if he’s told it often. 

“How was it for you?” You ask and the surprise in his eyes tells you that he hasn’t been asked this before. 

His tale is told more slowly. He hands out information bit by bit, always confirming that you’re still listening, still interested in what he has to say about this topic. You share a bottle of wine over his parent's divorce, the main dish just an accessory to the topic at hand. 

When his words run dry and the last drop of wine is poured into your glass, your mind a little fuzzy and his lips tinted a little blue, you are full and empty at the same time. All the anxiety has left you over dinner. 

Seijoh and your friends are far, far away but Ushijima - Wakatoshi, as he asks you to call him - is right there.

“Do you want to share dessert?” You ask and his eyes light up with a new emotion, one you haven’t seen before on him. It’s a little softer, makes him look a little younger, maybe.

“Do you like chocolate?” He asks, leaning forward a bit as if to share a secret.

“Who doesn’t?” You ask back and learn about his best friend.

-

“This was nice,” you say when he walks you to the train station, slowing his steps to be in tune with yours. The cold night air does wonders for your fuzzy brain but the chill is less pleasant. You shiver.

“Here.” A warm weight settles over your shoulders. His jacket drapes over your skin like it was made for this. It smells good, too. 

It’s not the first time you wonder if there will be a second date. But it’s the first time you really, really hope there is.

The train station appears much too soon. You want to prolong this evening, stay longer in this emotion that you cannot name. But you’re a realist at heart and you slip his jacket off before you become too used to its warmth.

“Keep it,” his large hand stops your movement, easily takes hold of yours. “You can give it back the next time.”

“Next time?” You ask, unable to keep that hopeful tone out of your voice. 

“I don’t have much free time,” Wakatoshi explains, “Could we meet again in a week? Same time, same place?”

You nod, much too eager to come off as nonchalant. It reminds you of Kindaichi, but you cannot bring yourself to care. You give him your number and feel your lips slip into a smile when he immediately texts you so that you have his as well.

Overhead your trains arrival is announced. You turn, still unwilling to part.

“Until Friday,” Wakatoshi says, one last wave. “Good night.”

- - -

You sleep well, better than you have in days.

It’s only when you wake up that you realize what this means.

You have a second date. The first in a long time. 

But as excited as you are for it, dread still settles in your stomach. How on earth will you explain this to your friends?

The answer is, you don’t.

When you meet up for beers and games on wednesday, Makki consolingly pats your shoulder. He seems to think your date went awful and you do nothing to correct him. You only feel a little guilty. It’s his fault for not even asking.

The others seem to already have forgotten. The news of Kindaichi getting a first date is more exciting and you let yourself get dragged into it, give him fashion advice - that goes ignored - and laugh with the others when Yahaba tries to fix his hair.

It’s only Friday afternoon that your nerves make themselves known.

Surely there’s nothing wrong in dressing similar again. Wakatoshi didn’t seem to mind and neither should you.

But you want to, you desperately want to… look a little better. You want him to look at you, unable to catch his breath, unable to form words, at least for a few seconds. Is that too much to ask for?

But you don’t own any Make-up, courtesy of rebelling against everything that makes you think of your mother. So you do the next best thing and call Mattsun.

“I’m not late,” he answers, immediately defensive. Right, you’re still on for drinks before the date. You can’t think about that now.

“I don’t care. Get your girlfriend on the phone, I need help.”

“What? Why?”

“Girls-stuff, you wouldn’t understand.” 

Miri agrees to join you for drinks. According to her she won’t need more than ten minutes in the bar bathroom to give you a little bit of an extra kick.

“You don’t want to look too different to what he’s seen the last time,” she reasons as you go over the few options of fancier clothes you have.

You're anxious the whole time, nurse one soda after the other. Even Kunimi notices.

“Second date?” Kyoutani asks. Makki’s eyes widen in surprise. You hate it.

“Maybe,” you grumble, getting up to pee once more. 

“What? You didn’t tell us the first one went well.”

“You didn’t ask,” you tell him as you make your escape to the bathroom. But this is Makki. He doesn’t let go of a topic.

“What’s his name?” He asks as soon as you’re back. “What team does he play for?”

“Let me get through this date first,” you huff, trying to sound more relaxed than you are. 

“He’s nice?” Kyoutani asks, able to put a threat and a question and a whole lot of worry in those few words. 

“Yeah,” you say, a little flustered just by the thought of him. The boys go silent around you. 

“Wow, you really like that guy,” Mattsun points out. 

“Shut up,” you grumble and empty your glass, calling for another. You don’t want to talk about it.

“Anyway,” Miri points out and you’ll forever be thankful for that, for her switching topics when you need it most, “Mattsun and I have decided to move together. We’re still debating about which apartment to move into, though.”

“Are you for real?” Makki’s always the first to put in his two cents, “Miri’s apartment is way better.”

Miri laughs. “Thank you Makki, I knew I could count on you.”

-

“There, done.” Miri steps away. You look at yourself in the mirror, the knots in your stomach slowly loosening. You don’t look like a clown, not like your mother either. 

“What did you do?” You ask, a little perplexed by how long your lashes suddenly are. 

“Mascara and some eyeliner. A little lipgloss too, you can reapply it when you’re at the restaurant.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime. If you want, we can go shopping for some of this stuff. You don’t need much and I can show you how to do the little things you might want to do sometimes.”

“Ah,” you look away, embarrassed, “Let me get through this date first.”

Miri smiles, understanding visible in her eyes. 

“Go get him, tiger,” she tells you when you part ways.

- - -

Wakatoshi is already waiting for you. 

Warmth pools in your stomach when he stills at your sight, his eyes warm as they wander over your face. 

“You look beautiful,” he tells you and you have to look away, too flustered to face him for a second.

“Am I not beautiful all the time?” You joke, hoping against hope that he does not notice the way your voice breaks slightly.

“Of course,” Wakatoshi tells you immediately, not an ounce of insincerity in his voice. You have to swallow twice before you’re able to talk again.

“You’re very pretty too,” your voice is doing funny things. You offer your hand to shake, a little unsure of what greeting is correct. He takes your hand in his, not to shake it, but to hold it all the way to the table and you’re unable to look anyone in the eyes until you’re seated, your insides a fluttery mess.

-

“Can I see you again?” Wakatoshi asks when you reach the train station, his jacket a comforting weight on your shoulders, your hand resting in his.

You nod, unable to hide your eagerness. 

You can’t blame the buzzing of your mind on alcohol this time. He’s calmly explained that he can’t drink often with his strict diet, has to choose between dessert or a glass of wine most of the time. It didn’t feel right to drink when he wasn’t allowed to.

Somehow your conversations feel deeper, more meaningful without the alcohol coating them. You know he means it when he asks and he knows you mean it when you nod.

Overhead, your train is announced. You don’t let go of his hand.

“I could do a little walk,” you say, “What do you say?”

You kiss his cheek when you eventually part. His skin is soft and warm underneath your lips. It follows you into your dreams.

-

On Wednesday you get a text just as you head out to meet the boys for beers and games.

“I’ve got out of practice earlier. Do you want to go for a walk?”

You go back inside, put on the lipgloss Miri had lent you as you text him your confirmation. You think about kissing him and wipe it off again, unsure of what you want. In the end you put it into your pocket just in case.

“Can’t come today, I have another date,” you text the group chat. 

Makki’s the first to answer, per usual, but his use of emojis has your anxiety rising so you put your phone on silent. You’ll deal with this on Friday.

It’s not yet time for the Sakura blossoms, but the park is beautiful anyway.

Not that you can focus on much besides the feeling of your hand in his, the way his voice rumbles in his chest as he talks about practice and his plans to meet up with his old teammates. 

You like this, the calmness of it all. You like him, with his serious expression and his direct way of asking. You like how he never fails to ask how your day has been, how he’s interested in all aspects of your work, even the little ones that no one seems to care about.

You like him, a lot. And if the way he looks at you is any indication, he likes you too. 

It’s when you’re on your way back, the setting sun bringing forth a chill, that someone calls your name.

You turn, your hand still firmly in Wakatoshi’s grasp, only to spot Kyoutani. He’s frozen on a near path and you know with certainty that he’s recognized your date. Your heart beats painfully in your throat and you feel sick.

“Everything okay?” Wakatoshi asks at the same time the girl next to Kyoutani pulls her massive scarf down to look at you. She looks familiar, blond hair, brown eyes, petite figure. It’s only when she opens her mouth to ask Kyoutani what’s going on that you recongize her. She’d been Karasuno’s volleyball manager. Yachi something.

Kyoutani seems to realize that you’ve recognized her because his face turns dark. He shakes his head at Yachi, points into the distance and leads her away. 

You’re still frozen next to Wakatoshi, realization washing over you like the cold floods of the  Tamagawa. 

“Is everything okay?” He asks again, cradling your face in his hands to make you look at him. You blink to clear your mind, wish you could just lean into his touch and disappear forever.

“You know what school I went to, right?”

“Aoba Johsai, yes. You were a manager for their volleyball team.”

“Yes,” He must have realized the truth already, still he asks you to say it out loud. “I’m still friends with the team, like you are with yours. They are not… They’re not fans of you.”

“I understand.” Wakatoshi nods. His hands slip away from your face, you miss them immediately.

You didn’t plan for it to go like this. He’s got an uncanny ability to make you open yourself up. Being vulnerable feels less scary when it’s him. 

He takes your hand again, guides you around the park for another round as you tell him all there is to know about your poor attempts at dating. How it sucks to be “just one of the boys” sometimes. How it hurts that they don’t even ask anymore if you’ve got a second date. How scary it is to admit to them that you’re dating him.

You bite your tongue after those last words. You’ve been on two dates so far, this is your third. Is it too forward to call this “dating”? What if he’s not-

“I understand if you want to keep this a secret for longer,” he says. His voice is heavy in a way that tells you that there’s more to it. 

Two things can be true at the same time. Understanding it won’t mean that he’ll appreciate it.

“I will… I will try and talk to them,” you promise. And you will. Even if you could keep this a secret, you won’t if it hurts him. And you can tell that it hurts.

-

You wish you could kiss him goodbye. But you can tell that he’s distanced himself, put up a wall to protect his heart. 

“On Wednesday we usually meet up to drink beer and play games,” you explain, wringing your hands, “They should all be there right now. Well, except Kyoutani. I will... I will go and talk to them right now.”

He nods. Your voice breaks a little when you ask. “Are we still- Are we still on for Friday?”

“Of course,” his deep voice soothes your anxious heart a little. You take a step forward and hug him, stiff and awkward, before you move back.

“I really like you, Wakatoshi,” you say before you can take it back, swallow it down, hide it from the world. 

“I like you too.”

- - -

Makki is already buzzed when he opens the door.

It’s probably not the best time to talk about things like this, but you want to get this over with. If you talk about it now, the dust will settle by Friday. Or so you hope.

There’s an iPad on the coffee table, Iwaizumi and Oikawa grinning back at you. You accept a beer, almost drop it with how jumpy you are, your legs unable to stay still.

“So, how was your date?” Makki asks, cutting off one of Oikawa’s rants.

“Good,” you say and take another sip of beer, “We met Kyoutani at the park.”

“Oh?” Mattsun looks up from his phone. “So you met the girl he fancies?”

“Maybe,” you shrug, unwilling to give up his secret. He’s got his one fears to face. 

“What you mean, dear Mattsun,” Makki teases, “Is that Kyoutani met her boyfriend.”

Oikawa gasps dramatically. “No way?! You got a boyfriend? Who is it!”

“Ushijima,” you say, ripping the bandaid off in one swoop.

Makki cackles, spurned on by Oikawa’s apparent confusion.

“Good one,” Mattsun jokes as Iwaizumi snorts. The younger players don’t think the joke’s that funny. It’s Kunimi who bothers you the most, his perceptive eyes locked onto your face.

“Guys,” he cuts through the laughter, “She’s serious.”

And it would have turned out better, you suppose, without the beer. Because Oikawa gets more petulant when drunk and Makki’s jokes are a bit less funny and a lot more mean when he’s buzzed. The younger guys don’t really know how to mediate. That has always been your job, or Iwaizumi’s. But the distance does not work in your favor.

You leave half an hour after you’ve arrived, angry tears streaming down your face. 

It’s always the people closest to you that hurt you the most. They know what parts of you are the most sensible, and which parts of you are still bruised, still in the process of healing.

You press your phone to your ear.

Wakatoshi picks up right away.

“I talked to them,” you press out. Your voice is doing funny things again and you swallow back another wave of tears, less motivated by anger and more by hurt.

“Do you want to come over?” He asks and you don’t hesitate to agree.

It hurts to fight, to possibly lose good friends over something as stupid as old rivalries, but Wakatoshi is good at soothing over it, with warm hands and the gentle rumble of his voice as he holds you close.

-

You don’t meet up with the boys on Friday. No one has bothered to invite you.

You watch Wakatoshi practice instead, laughing about Kageyama who pesters you about how to better his form - you’re a licensed sports therapist after all - and teasing Hoshiumi who fake gags every time you throw Wakatoshi a kiss. 

You move your date to Wakatoshi’s apartment, cook dinner together - it turns out pretty decent - and talk through the night. When you wake up in his arms on Saturday morning you know that you want this to go on, that you want this to be a relationship that lives instead of dies, one that strengthens over time.

- - -

You’re a little surprised to find Mattsun and Makki at your work. 

It’s Wednesday and they should be working too, well, at least Mattsun should.

“Iwaizumi called us every day,” Mattsun admits eventually, “Apparently we’ve been dicks.”

“Yeah,” you tell him bluntly, noticing that Makki’s still stubbornly staring out of the window. “You were.”

“Oikawa’s still pissed,” Mattsun admits next, taking a seat in front of your desk. “But he’ll get around. Kunimi pointed out that it was a blind date. You didn’t actively pick him.”

“Even if-” You start but Mattsun just shakes his head. “It’s Oikawa. Logic does not pull.”

“I’m only apologizing-” Makki interrupts, huffs, and continues, “I’ll only apologize if you do too.” He glares at you. Mattsun’s looking too, though his eyes are softer.

Finally, you nod and get up, offering your hand for Makki to shake.

“I’m sorry I made fun of you. It’s not your fault that you got fired.”

He huffs again. You know that sound. He sounds like that when he’s trying not to cry. And you suppose you can’t fault him for that. Friends just know where it hurts the most.

But he shakes your hand, his grip a bit firmer than it needs to be.

“I’m sorry that I called you an ugly bitch that has no game.”

Suddenly you can’t help but laugh. It flows freely, from deep within, has you bending over the desk as you cackle. They laugh along, softly first before it breaks out of them too.

“All good?” Makki asks when you eventually calm down.

“All good,” you agree, looking over at Mattsun. He shrugs. “Don’t look at me, I’ve always been good.”

“Sure,” you joke, “But just so you know, I’ll bring Wakatoshi along tonight.”

Makki rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I’ll smoke him at Mario Kart.”

As it turns out, however, Wakatoshi smokes him.

Who knew he had it in him?

.

-.- Warsaw -.-

The front door closes with a soft click, alerting you.

“Shh!” You hiss at the boys before turning toward the door of the living room. 

“Hey honey, welcome home!”

“Hi,” Wakatoshi steps inside, spots the beer and your laptop screen and waves. “Beers and Games?”

“Yeah, but it’s not that important.” You get up to kiss him, ignoring Makki who’s trying to make a point of his importance. “You wanna go out to eat?”

“Can we stay in?” He asks, “There’s this new movie that Satori recommended.”

“Yeah, sure,” you nod. “Go shower. I’ll make some food.”

He smiles and leans in for another kiss, waving at the camera before he leaves for the bathroom.

“So he doesn’t know, huh?” Mattsun asks as you pick up your laptop and carry it to the kitchen.

“No, I want to tell him tonight. Thanks for not spoiling it guys.”

“Anytime,” Kindaichi pipes in. You bet he’s got no clue what you’re talking about. “What are you making?”

“Golabki,” you answer, “Cabbage roles. I’ve been obsessed with these lately.” 

You catch up while you cook, eager to hear more about Kindaichi’s budding relationship or Makki’s latest work adventure. Even Kyoutani contributes a lot today, proudly talking about how Yachi has won a prize for one of her designs.

At some point Wakatoshi appears, leaning into you as you work. He likes to be in the way when you facetime the team, thinks it’s funny that Makki has named him “the Log” or that he’s always blocking the drawer you need to get to the most.

“Move,” you tell him, pulling at his thighs. Behind him’s the cutlery you need to set the table.

“There’s a price for that,” he tells you quietly. You roll your eyes and move to kiss him. He shuffles slightly to the side, now blocking the cabinet that hides the plates.

-

It’s only after dinner, your laptop put away, the dishes done, that you find yourself back on the Couch, cuddled into him.

“Wakatoshi,” you address him, your hands shoved under his shirt. His eyes have closed but he’s still awake, you can tell by his breathing.

“Hmm?”

“Remember how we were talking about what we wanted to do on your next break?”

“Yes?” He opens one eye to squint at you. “Do you still want to go back to Japan?”

“I wouldn’t mind it,” you confess, “But we talked it through. It’s not feasible and I’ve got a better idea.”

That has him opening both his eyes. He can sense that something’s coming and you nestle further into him. 

You like to surprise him, for sure. You love how quiet he gets when you do something special for him, almost unsure if he deserves it. If this is really just for him. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get flustered by your feelings for him once in a while.

“I got us tickets to Paris,” you tell him quietly. “Tendō already knows.”

When he pulls you close he doesn’t have to say anything. You already know.

He misses his best friend just as much as you miss yours.

[winterrrnight]

new beginnings

navigation

pairing: stepdad!soft!rafe x mom!reader

detailed summary: You weren’t living such a great life. Your husband had turned his back towards you and was drowned in his addiction to drugs, not giving any mind to what’s happening in the world around him. You knew you couldn’t stay with him, and let him continue ruining your life. So at the next moment you get, you free yourself from him and get a divorce, finally having a chance to breathe.

You were now alone with your toddler, and you knew you had to give her a life which seems perfect even without her father. She became your best friend, your whole world, your favorite person ever. Sage was a spitting image of you, a little enthusiastic kid but very clear at heart.

As much as you tried, you always felt the lack of another parent in Sage’s life. Even though she never showed it, a big smile always on her face as she was always playing around your house, you knew it was best she had two loving parents. But you were so busy with your job, and taking care of her, you never had a chance to go out on your own.

But then, almost like a hurricane, Rafe Cameron walked into your life. He occupied your mind like nothing else, and as you saw Sage loving his company more and more, you fell more for him, and he was very lovingly married into your family.

You never knew love can come knocking down your door at such odd times, when you had your child and no one seemed to take interest in you. But Rafe did. He loved you both with his entire heart, and changed your entire perspective on love.

This is the story of finding comfort and love when it seems the world has stopped spinning, when you feel you’re worthless, and you start to limit your own experiences. It’s about letting your door open for someone at a stage in life when it’s all too risky. It’s about trust, and letting yourself free from the chains you’ve so hurtfully wound yourself in.

SERIES CHAPTERS:

and so we meet - chapter 1

here we are again - chapter 2

familiar yet unrecognizable faces - chapter 3

the blue in your eyes - chapter 4

ONESHOTS:

BLURBS:

CONCEPTS:

HEADCANONS:

content warnings: as this is a wip, there isn't much to tell. but, I can assure it won't have any NSFW content in it, or any other dark themes. it may bring up drug addiction, but appropriate warnings will always specified at the start of each part so you can avoid what you don't want to read!

update: the series is now also being posted on wattpad! check it out here and follow me at _starkeyfilms if you feel like! <3

taglist: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury @newsies-pape-girl @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @rafeinterlude @rylie-m @zulema222 @karmasloverrr @leixwhite02 @congratsloserr @rubixgsworld @dilvcv @fandom-life-12 @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @fishingirl12 @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @stvrligghtt @rafegirly @leighbronk @addriaenne @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @crgirlsworld @valenftcrush @lillywildly @julovesurmom @raf3sgff @drewstarkey1bae @aerangi @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @the-tortured-poets-depxrtment @mellyie

please let me know if you would like to be added or removed!

edith speaks: oh my god! this idea is absolutely thriving in my docs and I knew it had to be so much more than just a fic so here it is!! I hope you all really enjoy reading this :) please keep on interacting with me through my asks, discussing headcanons about the fic, and any little thoughts you may have! it's my absolute favourite thing ever to talk about fics <3 you can always talk to me as an anon (I accept anon emojis!) or just as you want! 🤍

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Oct 3rd

~*~

1. any fics where Yu Ziyuan dies so she's not an influence to her family or Wei Ying and their lives, not modern stories please. Be well!! Thanks!! @monicaop21

~*~

2. ITMF wangxian pirate au:) i would enjoy rating M/E but it doesnt have to be, as long as it's 5k+ and finished. can be a personal rec if you have!

~*~

3. hello again :D I'm wondering if you have any wangxian fic recs for crossdressing lan wangji? Either where it's something he really likes or where he's kind of disguising his identity (and wei wuxian sees him like that hehe) preferably completed works, 40k or up, but I'll take what you've got! :) @a-fire-that-isnt-burning

Bunny Baby by deliciousblizzardshark (T, 9k, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, LWJ Has Feelings, Soft WangXian, Gender-Nonconforming LWJ, Protective WWX, Bad Parent LQR, Fluff and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV WWX, Autistic LWJ, [Podfic of] Bunny Baby by frostedhearth)

🔒 (i've got) trouble in mind by seularen (E, 76k, wangxian, JGY/LXC, modern w magic, heist au, thief WWX, forger LWJ, consigliere JGY, epistolary, long-distance relationship, d/d elements, Canon wangxian kinks, happy ending) IIRC it's just one scene late in the fic but it's AMAZING

autumn flower by ScarlettStorm (E, 63k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic vague north american setting, transwoman wwx, transwoman lwj, Gender Experimentation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gender Dysphoria, followed by gender euphoria, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, switch rights) This isn't exactly what the OP asked for but it's close enough that it might be interesting - modern LWJ realises she is a trans woman and explores clothes, makeup etc with WWX's help (she is also trans but realised and transitioned before the start of the story)

as thou wast wont to be by cqlorphan (E, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Getting Together, LWJ has Some or No gender, wwx is raising little a'yuan, Bottom LWJ, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, mentions of vers!wangxian, Cellist LWJ, Farmer WWX,…ok he runs a nursery but it’s the Vibe, Minor Injuries, Hurt/Comfort, Trans LWJ, Fluff, Smut)

so hot you’re hurting my feelings by isabilightwood (E, 40k, WangXian, JYL/WQ, Modern, Oblivious LWJ, Didn’t Know They Were Dating, no moms were harmed in the making of this fic, mama lan took LQR in the divorce, LWJ Has Friends, all wwx characterization decisions were made to make lwj pine harder for his own boyfriend, Fluff, Eventual Smut, Bottom LWJ, Halloween, WWX’s birthday, Sub LWJ, Light Dom/sub, Spanking)

~*~

4. itmf fics where it shows lwj and wwx's journey to intimacy and closeness that ultimately culminates to their first time having sex <3 no wips, if possible! ty in advance uwu

the hidden source is the watchful heart by o_honeybees (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Getting Together, Domesticity, Touch-Starved, Grief/Mourning, Misunderstandings, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Unresolved Sexual Tension,Eventual Smut, reflections on selfishness and selflessness)

call me home and I’ll build you a throne by anaphoricae (E, 51k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Post-CQL, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Gusu Lan Juniors Dynamics, Touch-Starved, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sexual Intimacy, Lán Juniors Gossiping about Wangxian, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Farmer WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Mutual Pining, Communication, Quietly Falling Into a Married Life, Light Angst, Wholesome, POV LWJ, POV WWX, LWJ in braids agenda, Sharing a Bed, Semi-Public Sex, Inventor WWX, Jealous WWX)

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (M, 28k, WangXian Post-Canon, Getting Together, Love Letters, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Literal Sleeping Together, Intimacy, CQL Compliant, No Plot Just Feelings, First Time)

my age has never made me wise by idrilka (E, 63k, wangxian, Post-Canon, Part-epistolary, Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Marriage Proposal, Homecoming, One Brain Cell WWX Strikes Again)

~*~

5. Helooo!

I'm in the mood for a fic where Lwj actually believes Wwx birthed a-Yuan.

~*~

6. I am in the mood for fic where there is focus on Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang relationship. Because both of their older brothers became sworn brothers together and I wonder what Lan Zhan and Nie Huaisang thought about it. Were they jealous and felt replaced? It would be cool to read fic where these two would become sworn brothers as well to gang up on their older brothers:). I don't think I have ever read what they might have thought about whole sworn brotherhood trio.

NHS&LWJ are friends Series by Katalyna_Rose (M, 14k, WangXian, LWJ & NHS, ChengSang, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant Epistolary, Sex Education, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Pining, Implied Sexual Content, mostly book canon, but i borrow some characterization from the drama as well, Light Angst, Crack, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chief Cultivator NHS, married wangxian, Established Relationship) is an absolute must.

level 50! by artsy_alice (G, 8k, NHS & LWJ, WangXian, ChengSang, Modern with Magic, Childhood Friends, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Humor, the sangcheng and wangxian are background stuff, super light angst for like 0.2 seconds) it's not canonverse, but is lwj&nhs friendship focus

~*~

7. Hi, im looking for a fics where wei ying is female and survive. Its telling her married stories with lan zhan @xeravielle

our close and kindred ties by exmanhater (E, 41k, WangXianXi, Pregnancy Kink, Incest, almost incest, Post-Canon, Gender Changes, Always a Different Sex, Cunnilingus, Vaginal Sex, Riding, Vaginal Fingering, Established Relationship, Situational Incest Only, POV Outsider, Pregnancy, Family Feels, Fluff, Incest Adjacent, Threesome - F/F/M, Relationship Negotiation, (slight) Pregnancy Kink, Kid Fic, Parenting, Inappropriate Use of Gūsū Lán Forehead Ribbon, Double Penetration, LWJ is a service top, Strap-Ons, Anal Sex, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Restraints, Parenthood) always female!(wwx and lwj), focuses on their post-canon married life

~*~

8. i'm in the mood for a fic where wwx is abused and tortured and lwj rescues him and nurses him back to health <3

🔒 Heart of hearts series by apathyinreverie (M, 40k, WangXian, Dark LWJ(Ish), Amnesia, WWX gets to be Not Okay after the BM, Hurt WWX, Recovery, Caring, Protective LWJ, Possessive LWJ, some definite manipulation but not everything is as it seems, not nearly as dark as the tags make it sound, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It Kind Of, Domestic WangXian, Fluff, WWX Goes to Gusu, Possessive WWX, WWX happily atticwifing away, Sunshot Campaign, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, ridiculously self-indulgent, Not Cultivation World Friendly)

some good mistakes by Lise (T, 18k, WangXian, JC & WWX, Post-Canon, Road trips, rescue Missions, Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Conversations, Yunmeng Bros Reconciliation, [Podfic] some good mistakesby kisahawklin) might also fit but you don't see Lan Zhan nursing Wei Ying back to health in this one (you learn of it second hand).

Dream a little dream of me by Moominmammashandbag (M, 60k, WangXian, SangYu, Prison, Hair Washing, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, mentions of torture, Mention of dismemberment, Coming Out, Anxiety Disorder, Anxiety Attacks, goose!NMJ, Reincarnation, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Incest, Dreamwalking, Angst with a Happy Ending, JZX Lives)

❤️ nightingale Series by Moominmammashandbag (M, 62k, WIP, WangXian, XuanLi, LQY/JC, Pseudo-History, No power AU, Empires, Discussion Of Murder, aftermath of war, prisoner exchange, Grief/Mourning, LWJ POV, Angst, Emperor JZX, Imperial Advisor LWJ, widower LWJ, JYL is the Empress the world deserves, Happy Ending, POW WWX, Reunions, Fluff, Smut, Dysfunctional Family, Poetry, BAMF LWJ, emotional support goat, poetry as a weapon, Injury Recovery, Rehabilitation, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Body Image, Self-Esteem Issues, Married Life, Domestic Fluff, Childbirth) And I think others by the same author

~*~

9. i recently read Practical Considerations and really enjoyed it. so i wanted to ask if you know any similar fics where wei wuxian helps with running the lan sect either on either the administrative side or as an important leader!

it’s really fun to see wwx’s other talents explored cause we never really see much of that

I’m Going Out (Gonna Make A Name For Me And You) by cosmicmilktea (T, 16k, wangxian, post-canon, chief cultivator LWJ, Mentor WWX, intersect relations, slow burn, sickness)

And Yet Here You Are by cosmicmilktea (T, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Domestic Fluff, Cloud Recesses, settling down, Separation Anxiety, Teacher WWX, very light angst, Chief Cultivator LWJ)

~*~

10. Any fics where wwx, mxy, and xue yang (with their similar features) are actually all related? (Perhaps even half brothers, some sect leaders sure get around, maybe cangse and her hubby had a reason to nope out the cultivation world)

~*~

11. Hellour! For the next imtf, i have some requests

A) a fic where maybe after wwx's resurrection, jiang cheng isnt angry but relieved? Like he cries or hugs or apologizes to wwx. (Please no wip!)

B) any fics where wwx or lwj changes gender and the other has to take care of them, like through periods and stuff. Aus dont matter. (Please no wip!)

C) one where instead of jiang cheng, nie huaisang and wei wuxian as a trio, what if there was another trio? Maybe lan wangji, wei wuxian and xichen? Nie hauisang, lan wangji and wei wuxian? Just one where lwj has some friends( in the millions of fics i have read, lwj only rarely has friends) it can be the jin siblings even. Au dont matter. (Please no wip!)

Thank you so much for all you do^-^ @just-troy0-0

11A)

The Twin Blades of Yunmeng by GhostySword, ofmindelans (T, 89k, JC & WWX, wangxian, JC/NHS, Canon Divergence, Yunmeng Brothers Reconciliation, BAMF JC, protective LWJ, Golden Core Reveal, Swords and Feelings, WWX Resurrection, Canon-Typical Violence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Embedded Images, Sect Leader QS)

A Bell That Tells Us to Rise and Fight by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee (T, 120k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, SongXiao, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Everyone Needs A Hug, Women Being Awesome, BAMF Women, Minor Character Death)

11C)

🔒 in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, Cloud Recesses, LWJ & NHS Friendship, Developing Relationship, POV LWJ, Minor Injuries, Autistic LWJ, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, aka the Madam Yu warning, Genius WWX, Light Angst And Hurt/Comfort, WWX Protection Squad, Gusu Lan Sect, Slow Burn, Protective LWJ, LWJ-centric) Lan Zhan becomes friends with Nie Huaisang

Orchids in Lotus Pier by Vamillepudding (G, 21k, wangxian, canon divergence, romantic comedy, pining, protective JC, friends to lovers, misunderstandings) Lan Zhan befriends Jiang Cheng

~*~

12. In the mood for fics where Wei Wuxian gets his original body back? I mean, I know there's already a fic comp with fics like that, but I need more with just "Wei Wuxian getting his body back" fics. Thank you!

~*~

13. I'm looking for canon era fics which ooze depression, sadness, misery with every word in them. I want to read extremely miserable, living in a shell, disoriented, closed off, silent, SILENT , depressed Wei wuxian.

Happy endings only. @constellationdks

🔒🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 60k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death, Depression, Psychological Trauma, Justice, Fear, Angst, No War AU, Attempted Murder, Bad Parent YZY, POV Third Person, POV LXC, Podfic Available, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Romantic Gestures, Recovery, POV LWJ, Trauma, Dissociation, Courtship, Courting Rituals, Eventual Happy Ending, Panic Attacks, Vomiting, Protective Siblings, Soup, Triggers, Protective LWJ, Protective LQR, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, reference to poisoning, reference to assassination, Reference to chronic illness, reference to infanticide, Minor Injuries, Painting, Gift Giving, WWX Has a Fear of Dogs, Good Sibling JC, Good Sibling JYL, BAMF WWX, Jealous SS, WWX Protection Squad)

~*~

14. hiii for itmf i was wondering if y’all had any really good modern aus?

synesthesia by uchiuchi (T, 28k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Strangers to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining)

through a window softly by impossibletruths (T, 14k, WangXian, Modern, College/University, Neighbors, Music, They Play Music Together But They’ve Never Met, It’s very romantic, Graduate School, WWX Is Doing Music Education and LWJ Is Doing Composition, Music As Love Language, Just A Whole Lot Of Classical Music In General, Podfic Available, Spanish Translation Available, Russian Translation Available)

🧡 CSI: Gusu Edition Series by Stratisphyre (M, 39k, WangXian, WWX & LQR, Modern with Magic AU, College AU, Golden Core Reveal, Single parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Hospitalization, Allusions to violence and murder)

one good thing by Yuu_chi (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern, Ghost WWX, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, I swear there really is a happy ending, And an alarming amount of rabbits)

🔒 The Life Cycle of the Frog and the Fish by Aerlalaith (T, 53k, WangXian, Reincarnation, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Retellings, Sort Of, Reincarnation, Mystery, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Illnesses Curses, References to Illness, Modern with Magic)

the family-dodging bathroom-dwellers association by yukla (T, 5k, WangXian, bathroom meet-awkward, commiseration over uncomfortable family dynamics, the undeniable romance of meeting someone who is in the same awful situation as you, typical jiang family interactions, Humor, Modern)

🧡 Hello, IT. Have You Tried Turning It Off and On Again? By overmountainandmeadow (T, 65k, WangXian, Modern AU, Office, Modern office AU, IT Director! LWJ, Graphic Designer! WWX, Father!LWJ, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Juniors as interns, Light Angst, Mistaken Identity, Identity Porn, Rabbits, Cloud Recesses as a company, Happy Ending, Single Parent LWJ)

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer)

~*~

15. ITMF please! Can I have your favorite BAMF!WWX fic recs please? Just WWX being absolutely brilliant and smart and being able to survive bc of it. Tysm!!

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 163k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Genius WWX, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Angry WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell WangXian, Idiots in Love, Requited Love, Requited Unrequited Love, Soft WangXian, Married WangXian, Soulmates, Not Cultivation World Friendly, Immortal WWX, Canon-Typical Violence, Not JC Friendly, Not Yunmeng Jiang friendly, not gusu lan friendly, Immortal LWJ)

We’ll Build A Dynasty (one the heavens can’t shake) by One_eyed_God (T, 66k, WangXian, WWX & WQ, WWX & WN, WWX & JYL, canon typical Jiang family dynamics, BAMF WWX, Canon JC Characteristics, POV Outsider, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, WWX is a Wen, Sect Leader WWX, Genius WWX, The Casual Intimacy of Hand-Holding, A Love Letter to WWX, Not JC Friendly, Time Travel Fix-It)

🔒 Whatever you do by apathyinreverie (T, 8k, WangXian, LXC & LWJ, somewhat darker cultivation world, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, BAMF LXC, don’t mess with the twin jades, not Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, WWX is appreciated, genius WWX, everyone is a little darker in this, except for WWX, who is still sunshine personified, Fluff, Possessive LWJ, Gusu Lan would like to send Yunmeng a fruits basket, as thanks for their idiocy, Fix-It)

Time Charm by Jenrose  (E, 141k, wangxian, later queerplatonic LWJ/WWX/WQ, LXC/JGY/2nd Madam Mo, time travel fix-it, post-canon, everyone lives au, genius inventor WWX, BAMF wangxian, first time, pregnancy, childbirth, asexual character, aftermath of time travel, telepathic bond, slice of life)

the field meets the wood by astronicht (T, 7k, WangXian, BAMF WWX, slight whump, Ritualistic Self Harm, Canon Era, Tang Dynasty style, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, salt economics, Post-Canon, [podfic] the field meets the wood by jellyfishfire, [Podfic] the field meets the wood by semperfiona_podfic (semperfiona))

And Time Is But a Paper Moon by sami (M, 138k, WangXian, XiChengQing, Time Travel, Fix-It, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Healing, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, BAMF WWX, BAMF JC, BAMF LWJ, BAMF JYL, Getting Together) multiple podfics and translations into multiple languages available

~*~

16. Hi! Do you guys know any fics where Wei Wuxian kind of embraces the duties of Madam of the sect? Like, really start to take over the planning, the logistics, the care for the people and maybe is even called Lan Er Furen or Lan Furen? May thanks!

By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal) in which WWX takes on a cover identity as JC's (female) cousin and basically takes on the duties of Madame Jiang to the point that everyone *assumes* he's JC's betrothed (he isn't, its a wangxian fic)

The Housewife's Guide to Causing Chaos by dvasva (M, 127k, WIP, WangXian, Canon-Typical Violence, Functionally Trans Character, Mild Sexual Content, Domestic Fluff, Love Confessions, Transphobia, Good Parents LWJ and WWX, Pining, WWX is a Tease, Grief/Mourning, Body Dysphoria, Fake Marriage, Canonical Character Death, Misunderstandings, Doting LWJ, Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, WWX is not in MXY's body, Misgendering, Mild Angst, Assumptions, Comedic Elements, non-sexual nudity, Blood, Discussion of Various Bodily Functions, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, 4 years of mourning instead of 13, Méishān Yú Sect, POV Multiple, Corporal Punishment, Trans WWX, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, pregnancy mention, Timeline What Timeline, Sexual Harassment Threats) WWX resurrected in the body of LWJ's (OC) wife. Less heavy on the logistics/clan management but iirc there's some

My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies) actual "Madame"/sect duties stuff is mostly in the epilogue but this is a really fun fic about WWX undercover as LWJ's wife (endgame wangxian) Maybe these two also:

So You Want to Start a War by JaenysBloodcourt (T, 41k, WIP, MY/QS, MY/WWX, WangXian, Reincarnation, Half-Sibling Incest Mention!, QS does the ritual instead of MXY, WWX as a woman, MY Is His Own Warning, Canon Divergence, Impersonation, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Please check the notes before reading a chapter, Timeline What Timeline, WWX Has PTSD)

Wei Wuxian, Who's That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)

~*~

17. wangxian history @shy248

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[samonroegf]

getting high with sam for the first time

f!reader. suggestive moments but no smut, fluff if you squint, angstish, childhood best friends to strangers to lovers? idk i just love him. veronica ( a character i made up) is used to replace alyssa bc she's a weirdo lol. lotta emotions, pals. 3.8k ᝰ masterlist

you'd known you wanted to try weed for a while now, it was just a bit intimidating. there's also the fact that you're 18 and you still haven't tried it, some might call you a pussy, but you just like to be precautionary.

there was the anti-drug commericals and your father breathing down your neck about being a functioning member of society. the pressure has become too much. you can't help but remember some of the stoner movies you've seen and they seemed so carefree.

so you started to concote the perfect plan, you'd never gotten in trouble, never even tardy for school. when your parents monthly business trip comes up, you knew exactly what you had to do.

invite sam monroe over for the first time in four years, and ask him to teach you how to get high.

so you think about your childhood best friend turned stranger, sam monroe. he wasn't the nicest, especially after his parents’ divorce. but there was also the fact that he had a soft spot just for you. and supposedly everyone knew, you hadn't witnessed this soft spot in a long time, so you hoped it made him a little nicer. you can't even recall why, maybe a kid crush or something. maybe you never knew at all.

you cleaned your room, made it all nice and hid some of your stuffed animals. if you were to invite sam over, you couldn't look like even more innocent than you already did.

on that fateful friday afternoon, you kissed your parents and bid them farewell. the pair completely oblivious to what their perfect little girl would be up to. a somewhat devious smile played on your lips.

you had harboured some kind of school girl crush on sam, since the two of you grew distant. he was mysterious and quiet now, you wish you knew him. wish you never would have let him slip out of your hands.

maybe that can change, maybe you can sew up the tattered thread of a connection. you wanted to laugh at yourself, you're so worked up about sam fucking monroe. the boy that you used to play in the mud with, but then again you're not just little kids anymore. things were definitely complicated. maybe more than you realized.

you couldn't help but start to pace around your room a bit, what if he said no? what if he just refused to come over? maybe you should cook something enticing, give him a extra reason? you had the weed and rolling papers already, courtesy of josh. you hated talking to him, but he had what you needed.

you walked over to the home phone hanging on the wall, and then to the clock on the stove. 6:30 p.m. the green digits stared back at you. this was a once in a lifetime chance so you swallowed your anxiety and picked up the receiver.

you dialed sam’s mom’s number, having it memorized like it was your own mother's. there was always some part of sam in your head, always stuck with you like a lover slain.

you waited patiently for someone to answer the phone, your heart beating louder than your ears could stand. you were sure this was the dumbest you'd ever felt.

“hello, kimball residence, who am i speaking with?” robin kimball, sam's mother, sounded tired. the kind of exhaustion you onlly get when you hate your life.

“hi robin! it's y/n! i was wondering if you could, uh, get sam for me?” your voice was shaky, but you hoped that she wouldn't pay it too much mind. or that she didn't notice it all.

“oh y/n! it's so nice to speak with you, how have you been?” her voice perked up once she realized who you were. always having been like a second mom to you, during your friendship with sam, guess the whole family has a soft spot for you.

“oh, I'm okay! i was just thinking of sam, and wanted him to come hang out, maybe have a sleepover like we used to!” you tried not to sound so childish, but perhaps it was working in your favor. excitement bleed into your tone, maybe hope too.

robin sighed a little, a mix of sadness and apprehension, “i can try to get him on the phone, but I can't make any promises.”

that confused you. but considering how sam acted at school, you couldn't imagine he was any easier at home.

“what do you want?” his voice felt like venom and ice, but you tried to ignore it.

“i, uh, i have some, uh, i have some w-” your stuttering didn't get you very far, sam was a very impatient boy.

“would you just spit it out,” he sounded less mad, and more just irritated. you imagined he probably dragged a hand down his face.

“sorry, I'm sorry. i just have some weed and wanted u to come over. you don't have to, I don't wanna bother you. bye, sam.” you rambled this out as fast as you possibly could and hung up just as quick.

your nerves and his mean tone became just a little too much, you'd never heard him talk to you like that. you didn't know him anymore. that hurt your heart, much more than you would like to admit. it was a fact, had been for quite some time but something about witnessing it with your own ears. it was real now.

sam stomped up the stairs to his room, closing and locking the door with a slam. he ran his hands through his hair, tugging on the black and blue strands.

“who the fuck does she think she is?” his voice was mingled with various emotions, he couldn't figure them out nor did he really want to.

“doesn't talk to me for four fucking years and then one day just calls me up and asks to hangout?” he's trying to keep his voice to a low mumble. as to not bother his younger siblings, even if he couldn't really stand them.

“tells my mom she wants a sleepover?” he almost wanted to go over there just to give her a piece of his mind. he kicked a box on the floor, and it shot across the room against a wall. he heard peter stomping down the hallway to yell at him, and slipped out of his window. a common practice these days.

he was dressed in cargo pants, his boots and a sweatshirt with the rolling stones logo printed in black and white. he was cursing under his breath, as he made the walk.

he couldn't believe her audacity, but then why would she call him unless he was the only one she could call. that had to be bullshit, she had plenty of friends. ten times more than what sam had.

he kicked a rock and lit a cigarette as he continued down the street, he hated that he could still remember the fastest way to her house. her perfect little house, with a perfect little family.

it was only just then that her words settled, like rain through a fog. i just have some weed and wanted u to come over. you don't have to. why would she have weed, unless her perfect little life wasn't so. course, could have been a lie to get him here. could be a prank, but she was never one to be nasty like that. or at least he hoped she wouldn't steep so low.

he had about a million questions that are going through his head, but the one that stuck out the most, why me? why would she call me out of everyone? it's not like sam was the only stoner in their school, but she still wanted him to come over. it made him puff on the cigarette a little faster.

sam stopped in the middle of the street for a moment, staring at the moon and sun that were now able to be seen at the same time. there was some poetry in this but he didn't want to fucking hear it.

he tried to shake his head of all these thoughts as he walked up the stairs to her front door. at the very bottom, you can still see paint marks of her and his handprints from when they moved in. sam was the first friend she made, he remembers her telling him, they'd be friends forever. feels like a cruel joke now.

you sat on your bed looking anxiously at the baggie that stood out on your bedside table. the nightstand a white wood with a pink lamp, and covered in literature. the weed looked weird and out of place next to them.

the slam of the front door and stomps crawling up the stairs brought you out of thoughts, sam standing in your doorway. he leaned against the wood, just looking at you. he looked pissed, but you were unsure if that was just his neutral expression at this point.

“you called.” he barely uttered two words to you, but you couldn't help the growing smile that stretched your lips.

“i wasn't sure if you'd actually show up!” you wished you didn't sound so happy, it was weakness he was bound to attack. you hoped your best friend, sammy was still in there, somewhere.

“what can i say? free weed, can't let that kind of offer go.” he chuckled as he spoke, and it was almost like you knew him again. but you didn't, he was a stranger in your bedroom, while your parents were hours away at this point.

he almost wanted to break something, he had so many questions, so much to say but now that he was in front of her, he wanted nothing more than to push it all aside. this wasn't like this normally, usually anger was so easy to hold onto. this time, it was like he never had any to begin with.

he slowly wandered into the room, looking over everything you had displayed. you prayed he didn't open the closet and get assualted by plushies. the thought almost made you want to giggle.

he was stuck, stuck holding a picture in his hand. he hadn't seen the polaroid in four years. a cheesing sam stared back at him, so free and fun. your arms were tight around him, couldn't be older than six and you were smiling just as big.

as you came to stand next to him, you looked at the picture in his hand. you were being torn between crying and laughing. it's such a cute picture, one that you thought you'd show your kids one day. but those thoughts were one of a silly little girl who believed that sam would always be by your side. you felt stupid, mad and sad all at once.

“i remember this day,” sam's voice sounds faraway, like he is scared to talk at all. like the picture and you would disappear, and he'd wake up from another dream.

“it was the day our dad's built your pool, and we played all day long.” he finished, looking from the photo to you. it was the first time he's really looked at you. his blue eyes peering into yours, you felt naked under his stare.

“yeah, and we had ice cream and it got everywhere,” you chuckled sadly, this felt like a reunion with a lover rather than a friend. you looked away back to the picture in his hand, taking it you put it back on your mirror. as he watched your hands, he noticed it wasn't the only picture of the two of you. you kept every single one, always one to cherish every memory, even if it hurts more than it helps.

“why do you still have them?” his voice is barely above a whisper like he's scared to hear the answer.

“i always hoped you'd come back, that we'd go back to old times. feels kinda stupid to say out loud” you laughed, bringing your arms around yourself trying to bring yourself some comfort.

you're looking at all the pictures, too scared to see what expression is resting on sam's face now.

“well, I'm here, aren't I?” you finally turned to look at him, your eyebrows creased in worry or concern. you weren't sure. his hand comes to rest on your shoulder, it's awkward and comforting all the same.

“would you have ever came if I didn't call? if i didn't have weed?” your voice might break if it shakes anymore, your tongue sucks over your teeth in anxiety.

“wait, don't answer that. i don't want the answer. i don't think you miss me the way i miss you.” you interrupted him. the second half of your words came out mumbled as you walk away from him and sit on the bed. a tear slid down your face, and it makes a bitter laugh come out of you. you've never wanted someone so close and so fucking faraway from you. you wioed it away and hoped he didn't see it. weakness was not an option.

“you don't get to do this,” his voice is quiet, but you were sure that it wouldn't stay that way.

“you don't get to cry and put words in my mouth, you have no fucking idea how i feel.” he raised his voice a bit and you just rolled your eyes at him. he came to sit opposite to you on the bed.

“yeah, you're right. but you also never fucking talked to me. you were my best friend one day and then avoiding me the next. how the fuck do you think that's gonna make me feel? hell, how the fuck can you just do that to someone.” you were yelling too now, staring at him with so much anger. you weren't even really that mad, you were just hurt.

“that is not what fucking happened. you became friends with josh, that's what happened,” his eyes narrowed at you and you wanted, well you don't know what you want but this is definitely something that needed to happen. josh had been a bully in middle school, i guess much hasn't changed.

“excuse the fuck out of me? i did no such thing, i was friends with veronica. i was friends with her, and then you left. and i know, yes, i know that you fucked vee. you left me, and that wasn't enough.” you were seething at this point, barely able to remember why you even missed him in the first place. you got off the bed, not even being able to look at him.

“i did not fuck veronica. who told you that? let me guess, veronica?” your head whipped in his direction, you stopped in your tracks.

your cheeks warmed as you realized you may have been fed incorrect information, “you didn't? but she and josh both told me on seperate instances.” you felt stupid, you came to sit on the bed again. a sheepish look on your face.

“no, i didn't fuck veronica. are you stupid?” the anger in the room begin to fizzle out, and you smacked his shoulder, “don't say that, I'm not stupid.” you gave him a fake angry look and looked at your feet.

you'd been lied to for four years, four years where sam didn't have be alienated. four years where your best friend could be beside you.

“why’d you stop coming around, then? if it wasn't cause of that? ” the fear of rejection injected to your veins. your lip was tightly pulled between your teeth, an anxious habit. your eyes looked from him to your hands as you waited for him to answer.

“somebody told me you hated me and didn't want me around anymore.” his voice was distant like he couldn't believe his own words. “told me you were just friends with me out of pity.”

“now you're the stupid one.” you laughed dryly, trying to make light of the situation. you bumped your shoulder into his.

“hell, i might be. i doubt if you hated me you'd keep all those cheesy momentos.” he chuckled and you could have savored the feeling that went through your chest. he might be better than any high that weed could give you. if you didn't have a bit of love for him before, you definitely do now.

you felt like a tornado of emotions, you didn't know what was to happen now.

some time passed in silence, you both unsure of what was to happen next. years of pushed down feelings that no longer have a sense of direction.

anxiety creeped up your back, looking at sam he's just looking at you. a slight smile on his lips, it's a sight you could get used to.

“what?” you laughed a bit out of embarrassment.

“you’re just pretty.” his voice was soft and you kinda wanted to throw up. how could all this happen and he can just have the audacity to compliment you. you dropped eye contact but a similar smile could now been seen on your face.

“so, we're good now?” you spoke, eyes glued to the floor. you didn't think you could keep from kissing him, if he kept looking at you like that.

“we’re so good. you ready to smoke?” sam smiled some, and layed back on the bed. his arms falling above his head, he stared at the ceiling. life is just some game, and he's pretty sure he just won big. he felt somewhere between being on cloud nine and being the dumbest motherfucker he's ever met. he can't believe he believed josh about some stupid rumor, instead of just coming to you.

“so, actually the thing about that, i don't know how. i called you so you could teach me because i trust you.” warmth gathered on your cheeks again.

he leans up on one arm to look at you, and he smiles real big, teeth and all. his tongue crossing his lips as he laughs a bit. it was clear though, he wasn't laughing at you, just laughing at the situation. but still you must tease him, make up for lost time.

“sammy, don't laugh at me.” before you could stop yourself, the nicknames spilled out of your lips. a nickname sam hadn't heard in some time and it made his heart skip a beat.

“babe, it's not my fault, you make it so easy.” there he was again, undressing you with his eyes. whether it be intentional or not, you weren't sure. his cheeks glowed a little pink and you couldn't help but giggle. it's fair game at this point. you never knew sam as someone to use alot of pet names, is he trying to pick you up?

“yeah, well, you're blushing, dork.” it was a dumb retort, and on top of it all you stuck out your tongue at him. crossing your arms like the brat that you are. it seemed your question answered itself. you were somewhere between friends and lovers, and that scared the shit out of you.

“no I'm not.” he said incredulously, like it was something that was physically impossible. he quick to get off the bed, pushing at his cheeks in the mirror.

you're happy to skip up beside him, “yeah, you are, it's like you have a crush on me or something." you giggled. another thing that should have been left unsaid, spoken by you again. it was necessary, you had to know the truth. it felt like life or death, at this moment.

he stands up beside you, and it's only then that you notice he's got at least half a foot on you. it feels intimidating when he smirks at you.

“what if i do? maybe i like to make cute girls squirm,” his hands come to rest on your hips, and you were sure you were gonna faint, have a heart attack, or maybe die.

“sam, what are you doing.” it wasn't a question, cause you didn't want the answer.

“i'm touching you, is that okay?” you can't help but dumbly nod. he leaning towards you and you let him. his lips are soft against yours, and he pulls you closer. his smell and taste was intoxicating. you were sure if you were dead, this would be what heaven felt like.

your hands come to rest on his chest, letting him kiss you a bit longer before pushing him away.

“i-i think we should smoke, yeah, i think we should do that.” you weren't even sure what you were saying at this point. but you didn't want to just get him back and immediately jump into bed. you're not ready for that yet.

“whatever you want, doll.” he presses one soft, chaste kiss to your forehead and walks towards the weed and the rolling papers. you were almoat confused as you followed him back to the bed, who is this man? you wanted to kick your feet and acream into your pillow.

you watch as his skilled, ring-clad fingers pushed the weed into the white papers. you thought you might have a health issue when his tongue dipped over his lips to wet the paper. your reaction doesn't go unnoticed by him, so he just chuckles and finishes sealing the joint.

“now, what you're gonna do, and I'll demonstrate too. put the paper between your lips,” he explained everything in excruciating detail, and it made your legs clamp together a little. you needed more self control, maybe, but you weren't going to let all this get to you. not this fast, it wasn't fair.

setting the paper between his lips, he pulled a lighter out of his pocket, it was white all the plastic wrap has been picked off of it.

“when you hit it, take small puffs, breathe in and then exhale, like this okay?” he making eye contact with you as he does so.

he hands you the joint and you hope it helps you recollect yourself. you do exactly as he said and did, and somehow still end up coughing up a lung. irritated eyes making contact with his playful ocean ones.

“try again, it'll get easier, you're just a baby stoner.” he rubbed your back a little, and you tried again. this time it went down smoothly and you could feel something as soon as you exhaled. you hand him the joint and watch his expert smoking habits.

you never knew how hot someone smoking could be, but here he was. sam, your sam, looked like some bad boy in a teen cliche film. you never knew why girls would go for guys like this, but now you got it.

the two of you spent the rest of the night recalling stories, watching comfort films and laying in his arms. he held you tight, and smoked you out until you were nothing but a giggly, high mess. he got decently stoned himself and you feel asleep like that.

[superhaught]

Incurable Cravings (Chapter Four)

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warnings: none really, just angsty

Word Count: 2200, Part 4/?

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Continuation of Incurable Cravings series!

Little author's note: I made a small edit to Chapter 2 to fix a plot hole that I created for myself. Regina and Leighton have been living in separate homes for five years as opposed to the original ten.

Regina and reader begin to navigate their first day at school in light of their newfound relationship. Reader learns more about the history between Janis, Regina and Leighton.

Regina’s family was complex. 

You knew that Ms. George used to be married to Regina’s father. Together, they had twin daughters, Regina and Leighton. You were all around 13 years old when they divorced. The resulting custody arrangement was unusual. Ms. George kept Regina and the house, while Leighton went with their dad and moved to the east coast. You vaguely knew that the father, Henry, got remarried to his college sweetheart, who had an older son from her previous marriage. Ms. George kept her maiden name and changed Regina’s last name to match, and has since also remarried and had Regina’s half-sister, Kylie. Regina’s stepdad, from what you knew, was a high-ranking military official. He didn’t see combat, but he was almost never home. All of them seemed to prefer it that way. 

Regina and her stepdad famously did not get along well, so his frequent absence was appreciated by her. And Ms. George enjoyed being able to maintain her independence. She often referred to herself as a single mom, even though she, objectively, was married.

You hadn’t seen Leighton since she moved away, and based on what Regina had said, she had rarely seen her twin either. You were positive that the distance must be hard on them both. Regina and Leighton had always been each other's' best friend when you were younger. They were practically joined at the hip. You remember that when Leighton moved away, Regina didn’t come to school for almost two weeks and she wouldn’t see anyone.

The divorce, and your small friend group falling apart, all happened within the span of a year. And now, as Regina slept peacefully in your arms, you wondered just how much pain she had been carrying.

It broke your heart. 

In spite of your racing thoughts, you eventually gave in to sleep yourself and were able to get a few hours shuteye before Regina’s alarm was going off and waking you for school. Regina groaned and snoozed the alarm once before turning over and curling up against your chest.

You giggled at how cute she was being and took to kissing her head and playing with her hair for those ten extra minutes. You felt her press a few soft kisses onto your neck and then the alarm went off again.

You reached over her and turned the alarm off and then rubbed your palm over her upper arm. 

The blonde smiled and whispered, “good morning…”

“Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling this morning?”

Regina yawned and stretched her arms out a little before responding, “better than I’ve felt in a while.”

“Good.”

She met your eyes, “am I remembering last night correctly?”

“What do you remember?”

She hesitated for a moment, examining your expression, maybe considering dropping it, “I remember you saying that you love me…”

You nodded your head, “I did, Gina,” you tucked some hair behind her ear, “I said ‘I love you.’”

She nodded back and bit down on her bottom lip. You could see the anxiety mounting in her through her tensing muscles and rapid eye movements.

“I…” she began.

“Shhh…” you leaned in and captured her lips in a kiss. 

She melted at the contact and let her hand travel over your shoulder and up the back of your neck to hold you close. Regina held you in that kiss for a long while and then just silently nodded again as she pulled away.

“Thank you…” she whispered. 

And thus, only a fraction of your conversation actually  took place out loud. You never really imagined having a bond like that with someone, not after the years you had lost of growing with Regina and Janis as your closest friends. But right here, in this moment, Regina knew without a shadow of a doubt that you had meant what you said. And you knew that she felt the same way about you in return. 

You both took a minute more to play with each other’s fingers as you held hands in the bed. 

The blonde kissed your hand and whispered, “I wish we had time to enjoy more of each other instead of going to school…” 

“I do too, trust me.” 

“I just want this gorgeous body of yours all to myself, all the time…” 

You smirked, “you are such a temptress… but don’t worry, Gina. I’m all yours.” You kissed her cheek and then her lips again, obliging her when she grazed your lip with her tongue to deepen the kiss. You shared a few more kisses like this before Regina finally forced herself to sit up. 

She looked sore and stiff in her movements. You reached out to gently touch her back after she sat up and you asked, “do you want help getting up?” 

“No, no… I’ll be okay. Thank you baby.” 

You got ready for the day together. Regina happily let you borrow some of her clothes that she reserved for wearing only around the house. No one would likely be able to tell that they were hers, not that it mattered to you. 

Ms. George had fixed you both a quick breakfast and offered you free reign of the pantry to make yourself a lunch. 

Regina, with a little bit of encouragement from you, managed to eat a cup of yogurt with granola. 

“I’m gonna go start the car, you coming?” Regina asked you when she finished eating. 

“Yeah, go ahead, I’ll be right out.” 

Regina nodded and left through the front door of her house. You heard the engine of her Jeep start and you turned to Ms. George, who was scrolling Facebook on her phone while eating her own bowl of yogurt. 

“Ms. George?” 

She looked up at you, “what’s up, sugar?” 

“Do you have Leighton’s phone number?” 

Regina held your hand the whole car ride to school and walked inside with you, only dropping your hand once you were in the presence of others. 

Regina saw Gretchen and Karen waiting for her at her locker so she turned to you and gave you a sweet goodbye with a quick, stolen kiss to your cheek before she split off from you and resumed her normal. 

You realized that the two of you hadn’t discussed this part. You didn’t know how long it would be this secret between the two of you, but you hoped not long. 

But you were greeted with your own smack in the face from reality when you walked up to your locker. Janis stood there, waiting for you. 

You took a deep breath, “hey.” 

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, “hey. I want to try this again.” 

She stepped out of your way as you opened up your locker and she continued when you didn’t really say anything in response, “yesterday, I know I approached you about Regina in the wrong way, and I’m sorry.” 

You grabbed one of your textbooks, “thank you. I forgive you.” 

“But… I’d really like to talk to you about this. I saw you leave that storage closet with her. And I saw you go home with her after school yesterday. And, oh my god, you’re wearing her sweatshirt.” 

Shit. Of course Janis would recognize it.

“And? What exactly do you want to know?” 

“I… well, like what are you guys doing together? Are you hanging out again?” 

“I guess we are… yeah. We’re hanging out.” 

“Why?! Why would you do that?” 

“Janis…” your voice betrayed your sadness and frustration. 

“No seriously, come on! You’re one of the only people who knows the truth about what Regina has put me through! I thought you would be on my side!” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose and inhaled, “Janis, it’s more complicated than sides… and, and I don’t know that I do know the truth!” 

“What do you mean? You were at that party! You were there!” 

“I mean, why does Regina think that something happened between you and Leighton?” 

Janis’ jaw dropped, “what?” 

“What happened between you and Leighton?” 

“What did Regina say?” 

“She didn’t say anything specific, only that you hurt Leighton somehow.” 

“I…” Janis clenched her hands into fists, “that has nothing to do with me and Regina! I don’t even… you knew how I felt about Regina… you don’t really think I deserved what she did, do you?” 

“Janis, no. I don’t think you deserved it. I don’t think any of us deserved anything that happened, Regina included. I think we were kids with a lot of complicated feelings.”

Janis stared at you incredulously. 

“Didn’t you guys make up at the dance last year?” 

“No. We didn’t. She was high on pain medication. She didn’t forgive me and I didn’t forgive her.” 

You sighed, “Look, right now, I know that Regina wants me around and I’m okay with putting things behind me so that I can be there for her. But you don’t have to do that. Just don’t get mad at me for trying.”

She stared at you again. 

You closed your locker door, “you weren’t the only one of us who was in love with her, Janis. You weren’t the only one who lost her, okay?” 

You walked away from Janis for the second time, once again, unsure whether you were making the right choices in navigating this whole thing. You couldn’t exactly tell Janis the whole truth about your relationship, not without consulting Regina about it first. But you knew it wasn’t fair to leave Janis completely in the dark either. 

You sat through your math class unable to pay attention to a single word out of Mrs. Norbury’s mouth because you were so caught up in how complicated this all was. 

On your way out, Mrs. Norbury called you up to her desk and you obliged. 

“Hey, you doing okay?” 

You nodded, “yeah, I’m just having a weird week. I’m sorry for spacing out.” 

She gave you a half smile, “look, I know your grades are going to be fine, that’s not what I’m worried about. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” 

“It’s just friend stuff.” 

“Alright, well, just remember that graduation is right around the corner. You need to make sure that you’re thinking about what you want.” She smiled at you as if what she said wasn’t annoyingly vague. 

“Have you told anyone else about your acceptance letter yet?” She continued. 

“No… still only you and my parents know. I’m not ready to tell anyone else yet.” 

“It’s been a few months now, you’ll have to start telling people eventually.” 

“I know… I just…” 

Mrs. Norbury waited patiently for you to finish. 

“It hasn’t really sunk in for me yet.” 

She raised an eyebrow. You knew she was suspicious of your answer but she let it go, “okay. Well, if you need anything, just let me know.” 

You nodded and left her classroom. Your heart was pounding. 

Until yesterday, there was no one that you were overly concerned to talk to about your college acceptance. But now… you’d have to find a way to tell Regina that in just a few short months, you’d be moving to Boston for college. 

You hustled to your next class and pulled your phone out as you sat down in your seat. You quickly started a new message to the number that Ms. George gave you. 

When you left that class, you checked your phone first thing and you had a text back. 

“Is Regina okay?”

You typed your response as you walked, “Regina is okay, but there’s a lot going on right now and I could use your help. I’m sorry to text you out of the blue like this. Your mom gave me your number.”

“So, you and Regina are friends again?”

“Yes.”

“Janis, too?”

“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about… what happened? If you don't mind me asking…”

It took a minute for Leighton to respond. You watched the little bubble that indicated she was typing until her message back finally came through. 

Leighton wrote, “honestly? Looking back, it’s stupid and I’m p sure Regina overreacted.”

Leighton tells you that when you were all kids, Janis confided in her that she had a crush on Regina. Janis begged Leighton not to tell Regina, and Leighton agreed, not seeing any reason to hurt Janis and ruin the friendship between the girls. But sometime later, Regina came to know the truth and talked to Janis and turned her down kindly. Janis was still mortified, but beyond that, she was pissed. Janis assumed that Leighton told Regina and wanted to get back at her for it. Janis knew that Leighton had a big class presentation coming up and she came to school wearing a beautifully pressed, matching white suit jacket and skirt. Janis loaded up her lunch tray with everything that the cafeteria had to offer that would stain and then “bumped” right into Leighton, dumping her entire tray onto Leighton. 

It was petty. It was stupid. It was misinformed. But it made Leighton cry in the bathroom, and that was something Regina couldn’t abide. Regina planned her revenge, and that’s how the spin-the-bottle party happened. Janis embarrassed Leighton, so Regina embarrassed Janis with the best ammo she had in her arsenal.

Next Chapter

[willowser]

okay but imagine one day the little one goes up to his daddy and tells him you introduced a guy to him and how much he doesn’t like this man. It doesn’t even have to be a romantic partner it could just be an old friend but lil one and ex!husband bakugou instantly assume you have a new man in your life

omg. the heart attack bakugou is having.

your son is standing on his little step-stool in front of katsuki's bathroom mirror. meant to be brushing his little teeth, but he's mostly chewing on his toothbrush, poking around in his dad's cologne and aftershave and deodorant. at least he's put his pj's on by himself.

katsuki is finishing up his own shower, glancing at him every now and then as he washes the shampoo from his own hair, and when he's finally done, the little boy hasn't gotten any closer to having clean teeth; now he's drawing mindless little shapes through the steam that's built up on the glass.

"oi," he only has to say it once and then your son is letting out a little sigh before brushing the way he's meant to — even if katsuki knows the there's not a lick of toothpaste on that thing.

"dad," he says suddenly, distracted as he turns around to face him. "mommy doesn't let me take a shower."

katsuki moved on from bath time rather quick. in the very beginning, it was fine, because he washed his squirmy son and then wrapped him up in a towel and that was it, but in the last year or so it's turned into "how many toys can i bring with me this time, dad?" and then sitting in the water until it's run cold. it's much easier to get him in the shower at the same time, to shampoo his head and scrub his little butt and then kick him out.

"oh, yeah?" he murmurs, adjusting the towel on his waist. "s'cause mom's better at baths than me."

the little boy only shrugs, before continuing. he's in a small phase right now of 'dad? hey dad? um, dad?' every time he's got something to say, and katsuki finds it both cute and a little exhausting.

"hey dad?"

katsuki hums.

"mommy had a man in her shower."

the first image that comes to mind is of himself, in your shower; the many times you'd taken one together and hugged him beneath the warm water; how it clung to your eyelashes and sat in your cupid's bow. warm, made soft and tender in the steam, like he could mold you against his body forever.

— and then his stomach is swooping so hard, he thinks he might be sick.

"what?" katsuki asks, voice loud and affronted, snatching all his son's attention. "sorry, 'm sorry," and then because his son is still looking at him with wide eyes, he pulls him up close, rubbing his back once before setting him to stand on the counter — which he never gets to do.

guilt twists in his stomach for yelling, though his son seems unbothered now, at new heights. katsuki grabs him by his little tiny shoulders and tries to keep his face smooth and calm, his pending heartbreak hidden.

"who was in mom's shower?"

but your son is smarter than that, can read katsuki like an open book, somehow. as if you passed all your understanding down through the womb; he came out of there knowing exactly what dad was thinking with a single look.

your son only shrugs, averting his eyes to katsuki's shoulder as he lightly pinches his wet skin.

"'m sorry," he says again, shaking his little body around until the boy is laughing. "i'm not mad. i just..." katsuki sighs and tries not to pout. "wasn't expecting that."

"are you mad at mommy?"

the divorce isn't new, and katsuki's not stupid.

you've been on a handful of dates, been open about it, encouraged him to do the same. not that he's bothered, but anyone with eyes and half a brain would try to swoop in on someone like you, so — as much as it makes him want to knock some fucking teeth in — can't say he should be surprised.

he shouldn't be, at all.

still feels like shit, though.

"no," he finally says, tugging the little toothbrush from his tiny fist to put some actual toothpaste on it. "'m not mad at anybody."

"are you sad?"

maybe it's another purposeful distraction, to get out of doing what he's told, or maybe he's probing at nerves because he's too young and too curious, or maybe he just knows his dad too well.

katsuki frowns at his big eyes, staring back at him, before lightly patting his little hip. "brush your teeth, i ain't tellin' you again."

he tries not to think about it, but that just makes it worse. can't stop imagining you in the arms of some other asshole, what stupid shit they must be doing to flirt with you, how they're making you laugh; just the image of it alone — you, besides some fucking bozo, head thrown back the way you do, laughing louder than you ever did with him — makes his stomach hurt.

it makes him dread the hand-off, too. his house is gonna feel too quiet now, after a week with the little brat, and that's a big enough wound to leave him with nothing to say — but you always try to insist on katsuki finding someone every time you get back out there.

it makes him physically ill, just watching the side of your face as you buckle your son into his car seat, all grins because your house gets to be lively with him.

and when you close the door and turn to him and mutter out your little, "hey, by the way....", he has half a mind to just walk away, right then.

"your son," you start off, lightly punching him in the shoulder. "got into the dryer sheets last week and flushed a whole bunch of them down the toilet."

oh.

"oh," katsuki says, and then he narrows his eyes at his son through the window, even though he's not paying any attention.

(on the nights when the little boy can't sleep, is more emotional than usual, katsuki calls you because that's what your son really wants.)

(very relatable feeling, katsuki thinks.)

"yeah," you smile, "and my coworker's husband is a plumber, so i was able to get it all taken care of. just...thought i would let you know."

katsuki shrugs like he could care less, but you see right through it all, of course. the both of you, mother and son, too understanding for his own good.

almost like you were made for him, like you're supposed to still be his.

"yeah, good," he nods once, glancing over your shoulder to see your son finally sitting up a little bit, peering through the window with his big, sad eyes.

just watching the two of you. just knowing.

[gingiesworld]

New Sheriff in Town

Requested by @louxbloom

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader/ Past Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

18+ MINORS DNI

Wanda and Vision were high school sweethearts, everything seemed perfect until she fell pregnant before graduating. Vision proposed to her as soon as he found out which Wanda had said yes.

It all seemed fairytale like as the years went on, Wanda being the stay at home mom as Vision went to work with his uncle at Stark Industries to provide for his family. As much as Wanda loved being a mom to her sons, she hated being home alone. Living the same day, same routine over and over again.

As the years went on, Vision had started to treat Wanda as a maid and not his wife, the twins soon caught on and started to treat her the same as their father did. As much as it broke Wanda's heart, she couldn't leave. Even though her friend's Natasha and Agatha would tell her otherwise. She had an obligation to be there for her family. That is what she was taught the perfect wife was.

That was until Vision had handed her divorce papers as he packed his things. Leaving her to raise two teen boys as he moved in with the 20 year old twinkie in the city. The twins had blamed Wanda for him leaving and never really cut her any slack. Wanda would also find herself crying herself to sleep every night. Wondering at what point her life had took a turn.

But with two 15 year old boys, running amuck throughout Westview. Especially being just as entitled as their father, always causing noise and destruction wherever they go. Only to be yelled at by Wanda before the two would make her cry.

A new resident had moved in ane joined the local Sheriff's department. Well they were the new Sheriff. When they saw the two yelling at Wanda, blaming her for their father not wanting anything to do with them.

"Hey!" Their voice boomed, causing the three to look in their direction. "I suggest you boys show your mother some respect."

"What are you going to do about it?" Tommy sneered as the twins crossed their arms across their chests.

"If I catch you boys doing anything out of line, I can have you arrested." They told them sternly.

"What? You gonna call the police?" Billy teased as Tommy laughed. They sighed as they got their badge out.

"I am the new Sheriff so I suggest you start to respect your mom." They told the two sternly. "Also, if I catch either of you vandalising any property, that includes your mom's house, I will put you in handcuffs. Do you understand me?" The two just nodded before walking inside as Wanda approached Y/N.

"Thank you. I'm Wanda." She introduced herself.

"Y/N." They shook her hand. "Well it was nice to meet you but I have to get to the station." Wanda waved nervously as she watched them walk away.

As the time went on, Y/N had found Tommy drinking in the park. So they approached him with a soft smile on their face.

"Hey, you're Wanda's son right?" They questioned as Tommy just scoffed before having another big sip. "You know you can talk to me."

"About what?!" Tommy spat. "How my dad left us and we've blamed mom all the time for it. Especially seeing him with his new wife and kid."

"Listen, I understand how hard it can be to have a parent give up on you." They told him. "But your mom is still here. She is still looking after you and your brother. You just need to give her a chance. It isn't her fault your dad quit on you guys. That's all on him so please just cut her some slack. Talk with Billy too. She deserves better than the crap you two have given her."

"I'm sorry." Tommy cried as Y/N put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Save that apology for your mom and do it sober." They told him before standing up. "Come on, I'll give you a ride home." That was the first time that Tommy had felt extremely bad for how he had treated his mom. He hated himself and he hated his dad.

Once Y/N had pulled up outside of the Maximoff residence, Wanda came running out, worry etched onto her features as Y/N helped Tommy out of the car.

"Is he ok?" She asked them as they helped him inside.

"He's just drunk." They told her when they lay him on the sofa to sleep. "He's going to have one killer headache in the morning."

"Thank you." Wanda told them sincerely as she walked them out.

"It's no problem. They have been served a bad hand. The three of you have." Y/N told her softly as she smiled. "I will help keep my eye on them outside of these walls but the rest is on you Maximoff." They told her as she nodded. Watching as they left once more, this time admiring their form in their uniform.

As the time went on, the twins were better than before with Wanda. Doing chores without being asked and even making her drinks.

"I honestly don't know what has happened but it feels like something out of a horror movie." She whispered to Nat as the two stood on the porch, watching the twins mow the lawn and wash the car.

"I know what you mean. It's kind of like an alien invasion." She replied as Wanda nodded. It wasn't until they saw Y/N doing their rounds. Wanda noted that they weren't in their uniform as they stopped and spoke with the twins. "Or maybe a new person has something to do with it." Nat soon noticed how Wanda was silent as she watched Y/N and the boys laugh about something. "You like them." Nat pointed out as Wanda snapped her head in her friend's direction.

"No." She laughed as Nat smirked.

"Yes you do." She told her. "It's ok to want to move on Wanda."

"I know that but the twins have just stopped hating me." She told her. "If I change something it could ruin it."

As the year went on, Wanda had organised a BBQ for the twins birthday. Inviting their friends and family, Y/N had come with some gifts for the twins. Tickets to see their favourite team play the next game. It wasn't until Vision walked inside like he still owned the house.

"Vision? What are you doing here?" Wanda questioned as Vision smirked.

"I came to wish my boys a happy birthday and give them their present." He said as he waved a set of keys in her face.

"Please leave." She spoke shakily as the twins soon noticed the commotion. Y/N's gaze followed theirs as they soon moved to Wanda.

"She said to leave." Tommy stated as he stood beside Wanda.

"You will speak to your father with respect." He spat at him angrily.

"When you see him, let me know." Tommy smirked as Billy held his mom as she cried. All of her anger, pain and sadness coming back ten fold. It was when Vision was about the back hand Tommy across the face Y/N had stepped in.

"I suggest you leave." They told him as they gripped his wrist tightly.

"Fuck you." Vision spat before taking a swing at Tommy with his other hand. Y/N getting in the way and receiving a jab to the jaw.

"I won't ask again." They snarled as they towered over him. "Leave now or I'll have you arrested for trespassing."

"Whatever." He snarled before turning on his heels and leaving the house. Y/N soon got on their phone to a locksmith.

"The locksmith is coming tomorrow." They told Wanda who soon wrapped her arms around them. They were shocked at the action but reciprocated the hug regardless.

"Thank you." Wanda whispered before she kissed their cheek. The party continuing as Vision had never came. The twins barely left Wanda's side as everyone soon started to leave.

"Y/N." Wanda called out before Y/N got into their car.

"Are you ok?" They asked her as she nodded, not expecting her to wrap her arms around their neck and kissed them passionately. Y/N sunk into the kiss as she deepened it. When she pulled away, they watched dumbfounded as she walked back inside. A smile on her lips.

[bitchinbarzal]

sign the papers | mat & mama

The house was awfully quiet when the kids were with Mat. The odd time when you kept Wyatt it was nice to have some company but she couldn’t talk or really understand anything yet.

You had called up Miles’ wife not long after the separation to ask her opinion on the split and a possible divorce. She was obviously concerned immediately but you explained what had happened and calmed her.

“sometimes marriages just run their course. we made five beautiful kids, we built a home, I just think me and mat want different things now”

The kids were confused, why there was now a daddy’s house and a mommy’s house. why they didn’t have movie night with their parents any longer.

Ivy tried listening to her parents when she was at home, listening while her dad cried on the phone to her grandma and her mom would stress out on the phone to her friends.

You had spoken to a lawyer, drafted up divorce papers, discussed financial settlements, custody of the kids.

When you saw Mat you had tried to mention it to him, softly. You knew how he felt about the whole thing.

You had managed to mention it when he dropped the kids back off, asking if he could come in and see Wyatt. You, of course, said yes.

You watched him come into the house, as if he’s never left it. He sat on the rocking chair in Wyatt’s nursery, rocking her to sleep and mumbling a soft story to her.

You watched them on the baby monitor, a soft smile as you listened to him talking to your baby.

“Hi sweet girl, hi meatball. I missed you, I’ve missed you so much”

You allowed them their time together while putting Ivy, Ryder and Bailey to sleep. When you’d both finished the night routine you met in the hallway, closing the opposing doors from one another.

“She asleep?” He asks about Ivy and you nod “out like a light”

He follows you down the stairs into the playroom where you begin cleaning up. Mat joins in, picking up stray toys the kids had thrown around.

“For being so little they make a massive mess” he jokes, breaking the silence.

You laugh “Yeah, they take after their dad I’m sure”

When the room is cleaned and tiny, you walk Mat to the door.

“Thanks for letting me put her to bed, it means a lot when I don’t have her-“

“I’m filing for divorce” you interrupted him.

You interrupted him telling you how much he appreciated his time with his daughter to tell him you were filing for divorce.

“Oh” is all he said

You nodded, biting your bottom lip “I just wanted to tell you before the papers came through in the mail”

He hums “So we’re not going to talk about this?”

“There’s nothing to talk about Mat”

He laughs, viciously “You kicked me out of our house and we haven’t spoken since I feel like there was definitely a conversation in there somewhere!”

“Mathew, you need to leave”

“Stop doing that!” He exclaims “Doing what?”

“Calling me Mathew and making me leave when there is the slightest inconvenience for you! I want to save our marriage, I want to save our family and you don’t seem to care”

You took a deep breath and replied “I stopped being able to care a long time ago, Mat. Please just go and sign the papers when they come in”

He didn’t want to fight any longer, he couldn’t fight with you anymore. Not when you were being selfish and never listening to his point of view. At the bottom line of it all, he loved you regardless.

So instead, he leaned down and kissed your forehead, while his hand supported the back of your head.

“I will always love you, y/n. from the moment I met you until the day I die, I will always love you with my entire heart and soul and if there’s ever one thing I know I got right in this world, it’s you. No matter what the paper says, you’ll always be my girl”

A tear rolls down your cheek and your hand grasps onto his wrist before you begin to sob “Mat-“

“Shh, it’s ok baby. It’s ok, I’ll sign the papers if that’s what you want, I’m not going to fight you anymore. I just needed you to know that regardless of us fighting, shouting and balling at one another, you are my world”

You shook your head at him, sniffling “Why are you being so nice to me?”

He shrugs “I only have a little while longer as a husband I might as well try being a good one”

You watched him pull out of the driveway and down the street, tears falling off your face while you sobbed quietly.

The following days, Mat had a roadie so you had the kids full time. You had officially accepted your role back as doctor for the devils next season so you were getting back into watching hockey.

The kids had requested Mathew’s game against the Kraken be on the tv so they could watch and while it was late you couldn’t say no.

So you sat with them, Ryder on your lap while your fingers carded through his hair while you watched the islanders play.

After the game, the press had announced a big press conference with the islanders. You didn’t think much of it, they’d won so it was probably just the dramatics.

You were tidying the couch pillows when you heard the tv

“Mat, Lou informed us you had an important announcement to make this evening?” A reporter asks.

Mat nods “Yes, thank you. I wanted to make this announcement here, in Seattle where I was playing when I was drafted by the Islanders organisation in 2015. My time on Long Island has been nothing short of amazing and I will always reflect on the relationships I have developed with the community, my team and the organisation. Today, I announce my retirement from the national hockey league as a player as this season draws to a close. My family are of the utmost importance to me right now and I feel this is in our best interest”

You drop the pillow in your hand and gawk at the tv “what the fuck”

“Mommy said a bad word!” Ryder shouts, reminding you that the kids were with you.

“You’d be saying bad words too if you knew what was going on” you replied, picking up your phone to text Mat.

Instead you found a text already on your phone from him

this is for you, for us. the nhl is your dream, not just mine.

You smile at the message and look back at the tv where mat is being hounded by the media on his bombshell announcement.

When Mat finally got finished with media and all that came with his announcement he managed to pick up his phone and wade through the messages from friends, coaches and family to find your name. Only to find you’d left him on read.

When he arrived home, your nanny had dropped the kids off at his airbnb so he didn’t get the chance to speak to you. The nanny, Rita had given him a pile of papers too. He suspected it was bills, school letters you’d asked her to pass along and they were discarded onto the countertop.

The weekend with the kids passed too quickly and before he knew it you were picking them up for your week. Between the kids, the media and the organisation Mat hadn’t gotten a chance to sit down until the middle of the week, sitting at his breakfast bar looking at the divorce papers sat unsigned on the counter.

Next to it was the papers Rita had dropped off, he picked them up and began flicking through. Bills, tuition payments and then a brown envelope addressed to you.

He frowned and opened it, pulling out a white paper, the exact same as the one on his counter yet this had your name on it. These were your divorce papers.

His eyes scanned the paper for your signature, it was nowhere to be found. Part of him felt hopeful, you wouldn’t have sent him this if it didn’t mean anything.

But it had been days since Rita gave him these and you hadn’t said anything, so did it mean what he thought it meant?

Before Mat made himself crazy thinking of the possibilities with this, he got in his car and made his way to your house. Not before a stop on the way.

It was late and he knew the kids would be asleep, so he knocked lightly on the door just praying you were awake.

He waited nervously until he saw the porch light flicker on and you appear at the door in your pyjamas

“Mat? What are you- it’s eleven o’clock”

“I know, but I had to come here because I got your papers” he rushes, watching as a sleepy smile is painted on your face

“I was wondering when you’d open them”

“I, I opened it and I hope it means what I think it means” he replies.

You nod softly “It means, come home Mat, it means let’s talk about this, it means you don’t have to retire just to fix us”

He shakes his head “I retired because, you were right. This is the Mat show, I want it to be the Barzal’s. I want to be able to see you at work, in everything you do and be so proud of you because you’re amazing. I accepted an offer with management so I’m not completely out of a job”

You nod with a laugh “Good, can’t have you being bored”

He then sighs heavily and adds “The day I first asked you out I said could really see this being something real and I just couldn't let you slip away. I’m not letting you slip away from me, now or ever”

At his confession you reach out to place a hand on his chest “I love you, Mathew”

He groans lowly and you laugh “Mat, baby, my angel. I love You”

“That’s better” he smiles. You notice his hand is behind his back and you raise your eyebrow skeptically.

“What you got there?”

He brings his hand out and when you see it you laugh through teary eyes “It’s ivy! There’s no flower shops open this late”

[yandere-writer-momo]

Yandere Baki Short Stories: Violet Kisses

Part 1?

Yandere Jack Hanma x Afab Reader x Yandere Katsumi Orochi (Genderbend AU)

TW: WLW content and yandere behavior

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder… and in this case, Kasumi couldn’t stand the distance between her and her childhood friend. The little (hair color) girl had been withdrawn as of late and Kasumi didn’t know why… it broke her heart that her friend didn’t vent to her. They were eight and ten! They would be teenagers soon and then adults… they had a lifetime to grow old together! So (your name) should be able to tell Kasumi what was wrong.

“I-I’m moving away, Kasumi.”

(Your name) and Kasumi had been inseparable for years and now the young woman was moving away? No. Kasumi’s ten year old heart couldn’t handle this…

Kasumi grasped (your name)’s little hands in her own, her dark eyes glassy with tears. Kasumi puffed out her bottom lip in a pout, her grip was strong despite her size.

“No you can’t move away! You said we’d be together forever!” Kasumi loudly wailed, the tears fell down her face in waterfalls. (Your name) frowned and pulled the other little girl into her arms. Kasumi then began to throw a tantrum. “You promised! You promised! You promised!”

Kasumi continued to sob while (your name) held her close, the other girl buried her face into the crook of Kasumi’s neck. Kasumi clung to her like a little koala, her nose buried in (your name)’s sweater to inhale her sweet scent.

(Your name)’s eight year old body cuddled close to Kasumi’s, the young girl pressed a soft kiss to Kasumi’s forehead. Kasumi pulled (your name) as close to her little body as she could but it wasn’t enough. Kasumi wanted to conjoin with her best friend so they’d never be separated.

“I’m sorry, Kasumi. My mom and dad are getting divorced so Mom and I are moving to Canada.” (Your name)‘s body shook as she began to cry too. “I don’t want to leave you, Kasumi…”

“Then let’s make another promise!” Kasumi pulled away, the young girl wiped her snot on her sleeve. She had to look brave… Kasumi didn’t want (your name) to think she was weak and couldn’t protect her. “When we meet again let’s-“

(Your name) shot upright in bed, the young woman glanced around her bedroom in disbelief. She had that dream again… the one about her childhood friend in Japan…

(Your name) yawned and stretched her arms above her head. She needed to get around for the day before she went to go see her best friend, Jacqueline.

(Your name) crawled out of bed and hurried down the stairs, her feet pattered against the wooden stairs to alert Jacqueline of her whereabouts.

A giant blonde woman sat at the kitchen table. The table was neatly set up for two as she waited for (your name).

“Good morning, Jackie!” Jacqueline immediately rose up from the table and pulled (your name) into a tight hug. Jackie burrowed her face into (your name)’s hair and inhaled her sweet scent.

“It’s always a good morning when I get to see you…” It had been unbearable being apart from (your name) for the last few days. Jackie pressed a tender kiss to (your name)’s head, her cheeks slightly flushed. “Did you have any good dreams?”

“I had a dream about a my childhood friend again… and earlier I dreamed about having a baby.” (Your name) laughed. “Could you imagine me with a baby? Isn’t that silly?” Jackie could see (your name) with a baby. Anyone would be blessed to be with the kind young woman and it made Jackie wish even more that she was a man.

Jackie looked like a man from afar. She pushed her body past its limits, took a daily cocktail of steroids to maintain her physique, and even went as far as to lengthen her bones… Jacqueline wanted to prove to her mother that she was a Hanma too. That she was a force to be reckoned with.

Jacqueline, or Jackie, Hanma was a woman of intimidating stature. Her muscles were bigger than any man’s and her blonde hair was always shaved in a signature buzzcut. Jackie was uncouth and vicious to others… but she only had a soft spot for (your name), her must precious person.

(Your name) had met Jackie in a church when she first moved to Canada. A small Catholic Church that anyone would miss if they walked past it. But it’s where the two of them met. (Your name) had been separated from her mother and Jackie was intensely training to gain power.

Jackie remember how the young (your name) rushed over to the her when she noticed blood fall from her once blue eyes rather than tears. Jackie pushed (your name) away the first time they met. Jackie didn’t trust anyone in the world… her own father had abandoned her to her own devices so why should Jackie trust a stranger?

(Your name) tried numerous times to help the other girl, but Jackie had no interest in her friendship… at first. Jackie was apprehensive. What did (your name) gain by being close to her?

(Your name) constantly fretted over Jackie. She’d bring bandages and small meals to share with the blonde ten year old. Jackie would yell and shout to try to get (your name to leave. Yet it never worked, because to (your name), the blonde looked like a scared animal that constantly bared it’s teeth in defense. (Your name) knew that deep down, Jackie was lonely. And it made (your name) even more determined to befriend the ‘savage’ girl.

It took over a year, but Jackie allowed (your name) in when she felt like (your name) had no ulterior motive. It was the first time in Jackie’s life that someone gave her unconditional love, she didn’t know what to do…

So Jackie showed (your name) she cared in her own way. She chased off bullies and walked hand in hand with (your name) to school. Jackie sat with (your name) at lunch. It didn’t matter that she was twelve and (your name) was ten, Jackie found a way.

Jackie became extremely overprotective of (your name). Jackie chased off other people who tried to get close to the innocent girl. People were horrible… (your name) and her only needed each other. No one else.

As they approached their teens, Jackie’s training went to the extremes and her body began to collapse, but (your name) didn’t leave her side. (Your name) would help Jackie wash herself and made sure she ate and drank enough water.

(Your name) was Jackie’s rock. The light to the end of the tunnel. Her soulmate. And Jackie would do anything to protect (your name)… even murder.

And here they were today living in Japan together in their mid-twenties. Jackie was able to keep (your name) at their apartment most of the time, but it’s been getting harder and harder to since Jackie often landed herself into the hospital…

Jackie was terrified of (your name) finding better. Despite all their years together, they were only friends. Jackie wanted so much more with the smaller girl, but at the same time, she didn’t want to make (your name) uncomfortable.

Jackie pressed her lips to the top of (your name)’s head, her muscular arms still held the smaller girl in place.

“Don’t be mad at me, but I didn’t hear a thing you said.” Jackie chuckled when (your name) poked her nose. “Sorry, I was just down memory lane.”

“It’s okay, Jackie.” (Your name) leaned her head back so she could look up at her best friend. “I knew you were lost in thought. Your eyes glaze over and you look at the ceiling in awe. Is there something on your mind?”

Jackie sighed, there was no escape from (your name)’s observant eye. Jackie stood up with (your name) still snug in her arms, the other girl dropping her toast with the movement.

“My toast!” (Your name) screamed when Jackie playfully spun her around in a circle. “Put me down, you heathen!”

“I can toast you some new toast.” Jackie laughed the tall woman shifter hands to rest under (your name)’s arms.

“Maybe I formed an emotional connection with that specific piece of toast?” (Your name) crossed her arms over her chest. Jackie set her down.

“I will make you a new slice.” Jackie gave another peck to (your name)’s head. “As many as you want.”

“It still won’t be my piece of toast.” The two shared another laugh, Jackie felt her heart clench a bit.

Why couldn’t they date? They were so perfect together… couldn’t (your name) see that?

“You’re my piece of toast…” Jackie quietly whispered to herself.

The two sat together at their small table and continued to eat their breakfast. A comfortable silence between them.

.

.

.

(Your name) hummed a cheery tune as she meandered down the aisles at the store. She was determined to surprise Jackie with a home cooked meal since the blonde always took such good care of her.

(Your name) browsed the various meats until she spotted some beef chunks. She could make gyu kushi!

When the young girl reached her hand towards the meat, another hand brushed against hers.

“Oh I’m sorry-“ (your name) turned to look at the person she bumped into, only to come face to face with a rather muscular Japanese woman. Her dark eyes wide with shock and recognition.

“Ah-“ the woman clutched her hand close to her chest, a bright blush now on her face. This reaction weirded (your name) out a bit so the young woman took her chance the snatch the meat up and attempt to flee, but she was stopped by the woman. “(Y-your name)?”

(Your name) furrowed her brow in confusion. How did this woman know her?

“Um… yes?” The muscular woman pulled (your name) into a hug so tight, (your name) thought her body would conjoin with hers.

“It’s been so many years… when did you come back to Japan?” The woman speech was so quick, (your name) almost didn’t understand her. It didn’t help that (your name)’s face was smooshed between this other woman’s rather large chest. “I didn’t know if you’d ever return… I missed you so so much.”

The woman released (your name) and now (your name) could finally get a good look at her. Thick eye brows, cocky grin, and thick black hair in a pixie cut… was this, “Kasumi?”

Kasumi eagerly nodded her head. The young woman certainly filled out and was a lot more muscular than she remembered.

“Yes! It’s me, (your name)!” Kasumi pulled (your name) into another excited hug. “It’s been almost two decades since we last saw each other… can you believe that? And we’re finally reunited!”

(Your name) could hardly believe her luck. Here she just dreamed about Kasumi and now she stood in front of her… what were the odds?

“It has almost been that long hasn’t it?” (Your name) awkwardly chuckled. It’s been so long and yet Kasumi acted as if they were never apart. “I’ve been in Japan for awhile now so I’m amazed we haven’t run into each other-“

“You’ve been here awhile and you didn’t come looking for me?” (Your name) recoiled in shock at the tears that gathered in Kasumi’s eyes. She hadn’t meant to make Kasumi cry!

“I’m sorry, Kasumi. I didn’t think you’d still be waiting for me-“ Kasumi scooped (your name)’s hands together in her much larger hands.

“Of course! We promised to get married when we meet again.” Kasumi’s eyes sparkled. “I actually run the Shinshinkai dojo now! I have plenty of money so I could spoil you rotten.”

(Your name) burst into laughter, a jovial smile on her soft lips. Kasumi hadn’t changed a bit… the Japanese woman still proclaimed such outlandish things…

“It’s so nice to see that you haven’t changed.” (Your name) smiled at Kasumi, the Japanese woman’s heart stopped beating for a moment. Her childhood friend was still so cute and oblivious… if consumed Kasumi with even more vigor.

“How about I pay for you groceries and help you carry them back to your place? I’d love to catch up.” Kasumi offered with a smile. She bit her lip a bit in anticipation. She hoped (your name) accepted, she wanted to reconnect to her soon to be wife!

“You don’t have to pay for them, Kasumi!” (Your name) smiled warmly at Kasumi who merely blushed.

The young woman nervously ran a hand through her short black hair. Her heart beat wildly in her chest like a drum. Kasumi was so nervous… but she needed to show she was a good provider!

“I insist!” Kasumi bowed her head to (your name). The smaller woman chuckled at Kasumi’s demeanor. How could Kasumi still be so cute?

“You’re not going to take no for an answer, are you?” (Your name) smiled up at the muscular woman who only blushed.

“No I’m not.” Kasumi replied with a cheesy grin. “Hope that doesn’t bother you too much.”

“Not at all. Still as stubborn as always!” The two women laughed, Kasumi scooped up (your name)’s basket of groceries in her arm. “Hey, I can carry that! I’m not weak by any means.”

Kasumi chuckled when (your name) puffed out her chest, the young woman did the same. (Your name) quickly turned her head aways when she finally noticed just how large Kasumi’s chest was. Kasumi smirked at her reaction.

“Do you like what you see?”

“C-compose yourself, madam!” (Your name) blushed a bright cherry red. She softly stuttered, “I-I could see t-the outline.”

Kasumi then turned a bright red and quickly pulled her cardigan over her shirt. She hadn’t meant for (your name) to see that… but a part of her hoped (your name) liked them.

The two bashful women made it towards the checkout and eventually out of the store.

Kasumi carried all the groceries in one hand so she could off her other to (your name).

“Hey, (your name)?” (Your name) turned her head to look over at Kasumi. The sunset made the Japanese woman even more beautiful. “Do you… want to hold hands?”

(Your name) smiled at Kasumi and placed her small hand in Kasumi’s calloused one. “It’s been such a long time since we’ve done this. Your hands are so big and rough.”

“Oh! I’m sorry. Do you not like them-“

“You must have worked really hard with them. I’m so proud of you, Kasumi.” Kasumi felt a few tears fall down her face. The young woman turned her head away to try to hide her blush. “Your hands swallow mine.”

Kasumi was so happy to finally be reunited with her soul mate… a shame she wasn’t the only one.

.

.

.

Kasumi admired (your name)’s apartment. It was so quaint and cozy… she could see herself spending a lot of time here with (your name)!

Kasumi plopped herself on the giant couch. This thing was huge! Why did (your name) need such a big couch? Did she sleep here? Or… was (your name) secretly a wild woman?

“I’ll treat you to a homemade meal since you paid for my groceries. I hope you won’t mind that my best friend will be joining us soon.”

Oh! Of course (your name) had a roommate. How could she be so silly? (Your name) was too innocent to be interested in such activities.

Kasumi laid back on the couch, her mind slowly began to wander. Would (your name) want to have a big house with her in the city or the country? Did she want kids?

Kasumi glanced over at (your name) who had wrapped a frilly apron on. Kasumi felt a heat wash over her in an instance. Most definitely kids. She wondered if (your name) would want to carry them herself or adopt. Either option was amazing to Kasumi!

Kasumi admired how much her childhood friend had filled out… she looked so soft. She wondered if (your name) still smelled sweet?

The door creaked open to reveal a giant blonde woman… wait. Jacqueline Hanma?!

Jackie froze when she saw Kasumi sitting on her couch. The blonde nearly exploded until (your name) came toddling over with her arms wide open.

“Jackie! You’re finally home!” Jackie pulled (your name) into an immediate hug, the blonde relished in the hostile glare Kasumi gave her. That’s right, karate brat, (Your name) was her girlfriend.

Jackie bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of (your name)’s head. Her brown eyes glanced over at Kasumi, she reluctantly pulled herself away from (your name)

“It seems we have a guest…”

“Oh! Jackie, this is my childhood friend, Kasumi!” (Your name) happily introduced the two, unaware that they were already well acquainted. “Kasumi, this is my best friend, Jackie-“

“We already know each other.” Jackie cut off (your name) with a grunt. The blonde protectively placed a hand on (your name)’s hip.

“Yes we do.” Kasumi stood up and made her way over to (your name). Kasumi and Jack glared at each other. “(Your name)? How about we exchange numbers? I’ll drop by another time.”

“Oh okay!” (Your name) smiled brightly at Kasumi who gave Jackie a smirk. The two women quickly exchanging numbers. “I’m sad you can’t join us for dinner… you were so kind to help me today.”

Kasumi boldly scooped (your name)‘s hand up in hers and gave a soft kiss to her knuckles. Kasumi gave her a flirty wink. “Anything for my future wife.”

Kasumi then left the apartment, making sure to bump her shoulder into Jackie’s. Jackie felt bile rise up into her throat from this interaction.

Kasumi was pretty and masculine… and she was interested in (your name). Jackie glanced over at (your name) whose face was full of concern.

“Jackie, are you okay? You look troubled.”

Jackie bent down and placed a kiss on (your name)’s nose. (Your name) was always so cute and sweet to her… she loved her so much. It started to become unbearable.

“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” Jackie softly asked, the woman knelt down to rest her forehead against (your name)’s.

(Your name) smiled at Jackie, her (eye color) eyes filled with care. “No but I can see it in your eyes. I love you too-“

Jackie tenderly pecked (your name)’s lips which threw the other girl off.

“No… I’m in love with you.” Jackie whispered. “I’m madly and irrevocably in love with you. Do you feel the same way?”

[prentissluvr]

,.. > the weight of his care — joel miller

gn!reader, platonic!reader, fatherfigure!joel , no outbreak ! , reader & sarah are besties; they're both about 17 , hurt/comfort & fluff , cw : reader's parents are divorced/separated, reader lives with their mom, reader's dad is implied to be very frowny face, food mentions, creepy dude mention but father joel will protecc you <3 , wc : 2K

your footsteps quicken along with the pace of your heart, a twinge of panic crawling up your throat as you throw a glance behind you. he’s following me, you realize. it’s been a few minutes since you left the library, and a man has been taking each and every turn that you have. it could’ve been a coincidence at first, but now you can’t shake the thought that it’s not. 

and now, quite frankly, you have no idea what to do. your house is growing nearer by the second, and you wonder if you should make a run for it. but you’d hate the idea of someone creepy knowing exactly where you live, and none of your family is home right now. so your mind immediately lands upon your neighbors, the millers. you’ve been good friends with sarah since the beginning of high school and trust her and her family more than anyone to help you out.

so you stroll past your own house and instead walk up to the front door of the one two houses down. your knock on the door, praying nothing could happen before someone opens it. in the few seconds you have to wait in silence, vulnerable and out in the open, your anxiety builds along with the tears in your eyes.

but the wait is shorter than it actually feels, and the door swings open to reveal the strong frame of sarah’s dad.

“hey there, kiddo. what brings ya here?” he clearly wasn’t expecting you, but he must have noticed your fearful state, as there’s a concerned furrow to his brow.

“can i come in, please?” you ask, trying and failing to keep your voice steady.

“of course,” he reaches out to you, placing a gentle hand on your upper arm to guide you into his home. the second you’re safely inside, he shuts the door and locks it definitively. before he can say anything, apologies begin to tumble out of your mouth.

“mr. miller, i’m sorry. someone was following me home and i just, i didn’t know what to do. no one’s home right now, and–“

he cuts you off with a comforting hand on your shoulder and a gentle voice. “hey hey hey, it’s okay. you’re okay. nothin’ to apologize for. are you alright though?”

taking in a shaky breath, you fight the tears in your eyes to keep from crying. you nod, but can’t seem to answer aloud.

“okay. i’m gonna need you to tell me if this person is still outside, alright?” you nod again, and he gently slips your book bag from your shoulder before guiding you to the living room window with a soft hand hovering over the small of your back. you peer out the blinds, scanning the street.

“he’s not there,” you whisper. 

“good. why don’t you sit down now?” he closes the blinds as you sink into the couch cushions. “kiddo?” he crouches down in front of you and you hang your head as a tear finally slips down your cheek. you’re comfortable with all of the millers, even sarah’s uncle, tommy. but you’ve certainly never cried in front of mr. miller before and can’t help but feel embarrassed about it. even so, you lean into his touch when he rubs comforting circles on your shoulder. you sniffle and he just pulls you closer, allowing you to find comfort in his embrace. “you’re alright.” the way he pats your back is a little bit awkward, but the intention is there and you're finally able to shake the worst of your anxiety. you pull away, wiping at your wet face. he keeps a reassuring hand on your knee, just smiling slightly when you mumble out an abashed apology.

“’s okay. how about i grab you some water?”

“okay,” you nod, taking the time to take a few deep breaths as he disappears into the kitchen. he’s back just seconds later, handing you a full glass. if he notices you shaking as you accept it and bring it up to your lips he doesn’t say anything, just takes the liberty to sit down next to you.

“thank you, mr. miller,” you say after a few sips, voice a bit steadier than before, but quiet still.

“of course, kiddo. it was smart o’ you to come here. if anything else like that happens again and there’s no one home, you come to me, okay?” his words send a rush of reassurance through you.

“m’kay,” you agree.

“good. you can stay here until your mom gets back. sarah’s at another friend’s right now, but i’ll call her and let her know you’re here. is that alright?”

“well, yes, but… mr. miller, my mom is out of town. she’s visiting her parents, she won’t be back until tomorrow night,” you explain.

“that’s no problem. you know you’re more than welcome to sleep over here, you always have been.” you’re about to breathe a sigh of relief at his offer, knowing you wouldn’t feel as safe anywhere else. but his next words send a different kind of panic through you. “unless you’d like me to drive you to your dad’s? he lives in the city, right?”

to that, you have no idea what to say. that’s absolutely the last thing you want right now, but you really don’t feel too inclined to discuss your daddy issues with joel miller.

“no, no, that's alright, mr. miller. i wouldn’t want you to have to drive me all the way out there and back.” you manage to avoid the real reason behind it all, but he pushes back out of his kindness.

“i wouldn’t mind that at all. listen, kiddo, you just experienced something pretty scary, and if driving you to your dad’s would help you feel more safe and comfortable, that’s something i’m more than willing to do. i completely understand that.” he’s genuine, and the way he says it is comforting, his words meaning more to you than you would ever tell him. of course, he doesn’t realize the comfort you receive from him is so valuable because of the lack thereof that you’d find with your own father.

“i, um–” you struggle to find what to say to assure him you’ll be just fine, better even, if you stay here without saying too much. “i think i’d rather stay here, if that’s alright.” your vague, hesitant words become your saving grace when he nods.

“i understand that, too.” from his tone of voice and the way he doesn’t push again, you wonder if maybe he’s overheard from conversations with sarah just how much you don’t like your dad, and you can’t find it in you to feel too awkward about it.

“thank you,” you say, wondering if he hears the double meaning. thank you for letting me stay with you. furthermore, thank you for not taking me to my dad’s.

“of course. you can hang out wherever you’d like until sarah gets here, then we can go get some dinner.”

“alright.”

he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze before standing and grabbing his phone from the coffee table. “i’m gonna call sarah, then i’ll just be at the table. let me know if you need anything, okay?”

“okay.” you muster up a small smile and receive a sympathetic one from mr. miller in return. he disappears into the kitchen, and you can hear him on the phone as you curl up on the couch and pull a book out of your bag. after a minute or so, it goes mostly silent, but as you skim the pages in front of you, you find comfort in the subtle hints of his presence in the other room. the sound of the cupboard opening, then the water running. him clearing his throat loudly as to not startle you before softly calling out that sarah will be home in less than fifteen minutes. then the sound of a chair moving after you acknowledge what he said.

as promised, you hear a car pulling into the driveway after waiting for not too long. you stand when you hear the unlocking of the door and take the few steps into the front hallway. the second sarah is through the door, she shuts it and drops her bag before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug.

“are you okay?” she questions as you wrap your own arms around her.

“i’m alright,” you reassure her. “i was just creeped out, but i’m fine now.”

“good.” she lets go of you, but keeps you at an arm's length with her hands on your shoulders to look you up and down. “i’m gonna find this creepo and beat his ass, okay?”

“you will do no such thing,” her dad refutes from the kitchen. sarah just rolls her eyes.

“you know what i mean, dad! now i’m hungry. you know, i was about to have a homemade meal, so you better take us somewhere good,” she complains lightheartedly.

“i think dinner tonight is y/n’s choice, don’t you, sarah?”

“of course,” she agrees, but the teasing edge is still present in her tone. “because they have way better taste in restaurants than you do.” you can’t help but let out a small laugh at their casual banter, a dynamic you always find funny to witness, and even better to often be a part of.

“hmm, maybe i should get followed by creeps more often if it means i get to pick dinner,” you joke.

“first of all, no,” sarah sounds stern, but she still laughs. “second, i think we’d let you pick dinner any time.”

you grin. “well, i’m so very flattered you would say so. i’ll have to think about what sort of food is best for such an occasion.” truly, it only takes moments for you to suggest one of your favorite restaurants to serve as comfort food.

“d’you think you’d prefer takeout for tonight?” mr. miller asks, the question proving just how conscientious he is. you knew you’d be fine with the millers beside you, but truly, you weren’t quite sure about staying out in public for long enough to eat a whole meal.

“oh, yeah. that sounds good,” you smile, letting out a subtle sigh of relief. it doesn’t take too long to figure out an order and for joel to call it in. 

just a few minutes later, the three of you pile into their car, mr. miller making it clear he wants both of you with him at all times for tonight, just in case. on the ride there, you’re happy to just listen to sarah talk with her dad, their voices acting as a sort of comfort and reassurance to your safety. 

you bring the food home and chow down on it; this time you join in on the conversation. you and sarah giggle about rumors you’ve heard from other students regarding the teachers you’ll have for your last year in high school, and her dad adds in his unwarranted, but often entertaining opinions. 

once dinner’s all cleared and it’s grown dark outside, sarah practically drags you and joel to the couch to watch a movie, claiming the importance of “family movie nights.” you and sarah cozy up with one another, leaving her dad as a third wheel as the movie begins. throughout the movie, you can’t help but laugh at sarah’s occasional commentary and the judgemental look her dad gives her each time.

by the time the movie is over, the two of you are practically half asleep, so mr. miller does all the work in setting up a small mattress in sarah’s bedroom for you to sleep on. you borrow some sleeping clothes and before climbing into bed, the both of you receive a sweet goodnight from her dad. he kisses sarah on the forehead the way he always does and the way sarah has learned to quit complaining about, then gives you an admittedly awkward pat on the shoulder.

“listen kiddo, i’m glad you came to our house tonight for help, you know? and i don’t want you going alone to the library now, at least for a little while, alright?” he tells you before sending you off to bed.

“alright, mr. miller,” you agree, trying not to let on the weight of his words, or really, the weight of his care.

[scarlettsandmaroons]

she is midnight rain | n. romanoff

about me | series masterlist | natasha romanoff masterlist

pairing: professor!natasha romanoff x collegestudent!reader

chapter one | chapter two: she doesn't think of me

chapter summary: you just learned that your soon-to-be professor is straight up terrible. and in an attempt to drop out of her class, you instead became the target of her humiliation. you just knew you will hate her as she will you.

warnings: evident mommy issues (not really into depth)

a/n: im very excited to write this series (that's a lie, i'm only excited about the smutty parts, the beginning, not so much). will be trying to post an update every other day ꒰ ⸝⸝ɞ̴̶̷ ·̮ ɞ̴̶̷⸝⸝꒱

for all your years in high school, and the very few months you had before college, you didn't have a plan. you didn't know where you wanted to go. you didn't know what you wanted to take. there were too many choices. or maybe there's barely any. you just couldn't choose for yourself, you couldn't decide.

when you don't have a mother or in your case, when you have a mother who chose her boyfriend over you, you don't really have anyone telling you what to do, where to go. and maybe some people would love the same freedom that you had, but with that freedom was misguidance. you had nobody to help you choose, nobody to guide you, to teach you, to tell you what's best for you. you have to decide all that.

but when nobody told you what was best, what was the standard for best, how could you possibly have known. how could a child understand what was best for her when she was taught nothing about the sort.

you didn't know what you wanted, and your best judgement told you to trust in your friend and follow billy maximoff. he was your bestfriend. your other half. the only person you can confide in. you knew that you had to study where he would. you couldn't possibly survive on your own. you needed him to guide you. to tell you what to do. to protect you.

"you're in mrs. romanoff's class."

you were snapped out of your thoughts. you've been staring at the field the entire time. at the massive open field between the campus and the gate. you didn't know how long you've been here, for a moment, you didn't even remember billy being in front of you holding your class schedule.

"y/n, yoo-hoo. are you okay?" billy waved a hand in front of you. "what are you thinking?"

you sighed, "i can't believe i'm in college now and i still don't know what to do." you said, looking over billy's shoulder and getting once again lost in your own head. "how am i going to survive..."

"well, i'll survive." he said proudly, earning back your attention. you almost scowled at him for being a show-off. but he smiled at you. a soft reassuring smile. "i'll survive for the both of us." he said.

your heart fluttered a little. you didn't have a mom. or a dad. or siblings. but you had a family. you had billy.

"i know what i'm going to be. i have a plan. and while you don't have any for yourself, i'll carry you." he says.

you looked at your watch. freshman orientation is in a few, and seeing your attention on the clock sent billy the hint that you both should get going. nevertheless, your conversation didn't end as you both walked into the campus.

"how will you carry me?" you mused, not returning the same sentiment he sent you as you simply humored his words.

he held the straps of his bagpack. "mmmm..." he started thinking, "i'll get a job as soon as we graduate. you can stay with me and my parents until i get my own place which i'd be glad to share with you." he says. "that way, you can finally move out from your mum's house."

"that's... very free-loader of me." you chuckled, visualizing the life you'd share with your friend.

"well, you're my free-loader." he looks at you all giddy. "that's what friends do, right?"

you sighed, "yeah."

billy never had a good relationship with his twin brother, tommy. tommy decided to stay with his father after their parents got a divorce. billy on the other hand, stayed with his mother as she remarried.

you've never met mrs. maximoff's new husband. in fact, it's been a really long time since you'd seen billy's mom. the last time you saw her, she had some sort of a 50s haircut. from what your bestfriend tells you, she went through quite a few hair phases from a shoulder length side part to a long-haired rebonded look. at some point, you know she went crazy and got a full head of tight blonde curls. that was her, "going through a hard time with my husband so i must do something so incredibly different with my hair" hair. she went back to the normal big curls, fluffy airburn hair after she remarried though.

that's how close you were with billy. you were his sister, almost. you knew everything about him. even about his mother's haircuts half of which you're sad you weren't around to see.

"mr. stark's coming by for the orientation, did you know that?"

you looked at billy. "the rich guy who owns stark industries?"

"yeah. he's a friend of my moms and dad's."

"no way?!" you all but gasped. you did coo in shock a bit, looking at him with widened eyes. "damn, it must be nice to be connected to him." you say, your mind going on to imagine what your life would be if you were as rich as him. or even connected to him. then you wouldn't have to think about all the important decisions you need to make.

"he's connected to a lot of the professors here." billy mentions. "mr. rogers, mr. banner, mr. barton. but he's closest to mrs. romanoff. they're best friends." he looks at his watch. "i think he's here for the engineering department though. he's funding them lots."

"mrs. romanoff?" you ask, complete disregarding his following statement.

"he's the reason why mrs. romanoff met my parents." he says.

"i'm in her class right?"

you haven't taken a look at your timetable yet because billy has held onto it since it was given to you. eyeing all the names of your professors and giving you some kind of commentary about them. he knows a lot about them. mrs. maximoff used to be a professor here, and for the entirety of high school, billy frequented this very campus.

"yeah." he scoffed. "good luck."

"why? is she mean?"

"terribly." he says. "she's nice, but as your professor? she'll eat you alive."

you were in two of mrs. romanoff's classes, unfortunately for you. you had her in english literature, and business economics. and until classes had officially begun two days after your orientation, stories of how horrible she is; from how she failed more than half of the total students she's had in her lifetime, to how much she enjoys either suspending, or expelling her students over the littlest inconveniences became the center of all your conversations with billy. for someone who knows a lot about her, you wish he had gotten her instead of you. now the dreading fear of seeing her live up to your horrible expectations of her with you is just crippling.

"i'm dropping out of mrs. romanoff's classes." you blurt out during billy's long monologue of the stories he's heard about the professor.

he looked at you, "no! i didn't mean to scare you." he almost laughs. "she's actually really nice!"

you shot him a sharp glare. if he dares to defend mrs. romanoff after all the stories he's told, then he's better off shutting his mouth.

"yeah, no. too late."

there was a part of you that tugged at the idea of actually doing it. if there were something that stopped you, you would so give into it and drop it. you simply needed to know that you wanted to do—that you can do something about it so you can lie yourself into thinking that you have, this new life of yours, under control. and you were lucky enough to just serve into that purpose as you were unlucky enough to have stumbled upon a wooden door that had mrs. romanoff's name spelled out in gold letters.

natasha romanoff.

billy has been talking this entire time, explaining to you how mrs. romanoff could've been better than what he initially led you to believe. you've been taking mental notes but you haven't really been paying attention, so you only got, "she's the best professor here. constantly commended by the dean himself" and "her class is the hardest to get into. only the best of the best can get into it—"

you heard nothing further as you started fixating on how there was absolutely no way of telling if she was in as the massive window deemed useless with the blinds covering it. despite your efforts in trying to take even the smallest peak inside, no luck.

you can turn away. but you're here now. besides, not knowing whether or not she's in isn't really an inconvenience worth turning away from.

perseverance glinted your eyes. you weren't giving up. you put a hand on the handle, "y/n, no, she—", and you went in without hearing out billy, or even giving the chance for anyone to let you in.

you have to transfer out of her class before you have to go in it. as uncomfortable as this might be, it's this, or a whole year or more worth of wishing you got out when you could.

inside was a woman sitting at the desk just a few steps away from you. it was a relatively average sized room. it wasn't too small. not too cramped. but it wasn't too big either. not too empty. the walls of either sides were bookshelves. the back wall, a massive window overlooking the entire front of the school.

the woman lifted her head to see you, and immediately, you were taken aback by her... beauty. the features that are of the ordinary, but on its entirety, with all of it combined, created this image of the goddess sitting in front of you.

you melted. you pictured her to be an old woman, but now you see why everyone was so intimated by her. her simple gaze, and unmoving disinterest of your presence made you feel so small. to have such a gorgeous woman look at you like you didn't matter, exactly the way that she did you, is so intimidating. so belittling. yet, you were enamored. you were captured by her. she was just simply mesmerizing. satisfying.

she had red hair. massive curls that cascaded down her shoulders as if so intricately placed to look so neat and clean. she had a side part, though, it was barely noticeable as the part was a lot closer to the center than it should be for a side part. her eyes were so brightly... emerald. despite of the shadows created by the light behind her, it stayed so vibrant. like a gem. she had such a beautifully molded nose. and red lips. you wanted nothing else but to stare at her forever.

"i suggest you start saying something now, before this intrusion of yours becomes the reason why your time here ends."

her voice sent chills down your spine. you felt goosebumps. all the hair in your body rose. her voice was so terribly cold. she was composed, and calm. and had not a care in the world, especially you. the way she delivered it with such disinterest, almost in a condescending way made you feel so small. it gave you all the more reason to drop out.

she was looking up at you. her chin was resting at the back of her hand where she had a pen between her fingers.

she made your heart race in fear.

"i'm in your class." you take a deep breath. "i'd like to drop out."

you see the end of her lip twitch almost in amusement when her eyes dropped to the papers on her desk. she fixed her posture and started fixing the mess she had laid out. she did it so painfully slow as if you weren't there. but when she stood up, placing both of her hands on her desk, you knew she wasn't trying to torture you. the way the end of her lip raised into the slightest grin made you realize she was having her fun with you. like one of the students she'd amuse herself with first, embarrass, torture, belittle, before kicking out. almost like you were a toy. one of the many for her.

you gulped.

"tell me, miss y/f/n y/l/n. why do you want to drop out?" she asks, slowly going around her desk before she gestured to a chair in front of it—not to offer you a seat, but to require you to do as she wants, and sit down. "you haven't even seen me in class yet. i doubt you even had the chance to attend your very first class which you will soon miss if you continue to—waste, my, time."

you gulped again. something about the way she stares at you while she walks to the small table by the bookshelf where she had a few glasses and whiskey made your throat dry.

"i heard stories."

"i assure you, miss y/l/n," you flinched a bit when her glass hits the surface of her desk, later followed by her body dropping to her seat in the most elegant way. "whatever you heard is true."

goosebumps again. not good goosebumps. "please let me leave because i want to cry" goosebumps. her eyes were piercing through you, you can't imagine moving. to even relax your shoulder and somehow offending her with the slight movement is such horror for you.

she took a sip from her drink. before letting the glass hang barely by her fingertips as she leans closer to you, her chin resting once again on the back of her hand.

"how old are you?" she asks.

"i just turned 18." you answer quickly as if it would disappoint her if you waited a beat.

"what is something worth knowing about a y/f/n y/l/n?" you didn't notice the way your name rolled off her tongue. you didn't notice she knew your name this entire time. she said it with such grace. never had your name sounded so foreign. so new. so beautiful.

something about her was pulling you in. sucking you into her. and you weren't sure if it was the fear of getting kicked out, or just because of her sheer charms that made you blurt out every thinkable thing about you.

"i'm 18. i just turned 18." you started, taking a deep breath in and calming yourself down when you realized how quick you were talking. "i can't drive for the life of me. i hate milk. i'm plainly unhealthy. i don't drink vitamins. or eat an average amount of nutrients and meals in general. i'm nocturnal, i can't fall asleep at night. i love juice, soda, everything but water. i have a complicated relationship with my hair. i..." the realization stunned you. the realization that you were sitting in the office of who you heard was the strictest professor in this very university, telling her about the most absurd, uninteresting things about you, when you might just be on the very verge of getting kicked out of your bestfriend's dream university.

you calmed yourself down. you tried to rid yourself of the panic you resorted to burying deep deep down, you fixed your posture, cleared your throat, and in the most modulated voice that you can harness within yourself, you said, "i am ambitious, strong, independent—" that's a lie. "bright, optimistic, and persistent. and i really want to have the opportunity to begin my year in this university—" hopefully not in your class. "because i know that i have the exact amount of wit, and dedication this school is looking for in a student." i don't want to be in your class. "if given the opportunity to... in a different class wherein i can flourish."

"well," she says as if impressed. you stood up when she did, giving her a hopeful expression like that's going to boost your chances of getting out of her class without suffering the grave consequences she's known to give.

she moved around the table again, this time, moving slowly towards you. step by step. closer each passing second. and when the two of you were finally faced to face with each other without the desk between you, her small smirk dropped. "no." she says in a way that showed you how amused she was of putting your efforts of coming in here to waste without sounding anywhere besides stern.

"what?"

"i said no."

"no, what?" at this point, you were in distress. but you tried your best to hide it. you weren't very successful though. your voice raised, though you all but shouted.

her left hand rested on the surface of her desk when she leaned her hip against it, tipping her head slightly to the side, "look, miss y/l/n, i did not just waste all this time getting to know you and your... habits, just for you to drop out of my class."

her tone was unkind. she was cold, and stern. and she wanted nothing but to get her way. your attempts gave her mere amusement. she didn't acknowledge you, or your request, she just wanted to see the way your face would contort in shock when she declines you after letting you think your efforts would get you anywhere.

"but, mrs. romanoff—"

"BUT...! miss y/l/n—" she didn't shout, but the way she said it, the way her voice raised. you wanted to crawl into a cave and cry. especially with the way her eyes lingered on a little too long on yours before she looked away and returned to her seat. "i could so easily penalize you for entering my office with no permission." her tone was mad. graceful, elegant. calm and collected. but mad. "i would have you suspended if i didn't appreciate your... attempt, to even come inside my office, to speak to me and look me straight in the eye requesting me for something... you're gutsy. you could've used that in my class instead."

you weren't going to win.

today, you realized, that mrs. romanoff will always have the power. and if you can't handle that, then you're better of leaving the school.

she's dreadful. she's dark. she's the storm that angers the seas. and the rain at midnight. she is going to potentially ruin your chances of succeeding in this university—in life, and you will... hate her as you are now definitely sure she will you.

"i'll see you later."

you did see her later. a blissful 2 hours without her was replaced by dread when the moment you sat on the very back of the lecture hall, she came in. everyone stood before her, as if it were highschool, and you just went with it. just a mere clack of her high heeled shoes had everyone on their feet, their hands on their chest as if she was a goddess to be worshiped.

"good morning, everyone."

nobody spoke, it was mere silence after a beat of her greeting in which she gestured everyone to sit. you hid behind a tall man. the lecture hall was packed. although, there were a few empty seats up front.

"i'd like to begin today with..." she didn't have much with her. she only had a clipboard which she places on her desk. she took quite a while adjusting. but when she did; when she was leaning back on her seat, her legs elegantly crossed, where her hands rested on her knee, she looked straight ahead. and for a moment, you thought you can feel her eyes boring through the people you're hiding behind of and staring at you. "i have absolutely zero tolerance for any of your bullshit." all the calmness of her tone before was replaced by a sheer sharpness. "you either do as i say, exactly as i say it, or you leave this classroom. better yet, this school. are we clear?" she was stern. and you were scared. "now," she says with an exhale. "you at the back," you froze. "are we clear with that?"

[moonacrefarm]

anticipating love

summary: your parents marriage didn’t survive the test of time and neither did you first love. 

contains: childhood friends to lovers to strangers, second-chance romance, angst, hurt/comfort, slight miscommunication, fluff, 18+ series, mentions of stalking, mentions of cancer, no mention of y/n

authors note: so...uh, here it is :D

series masterlist

next part | 02. never hesitating

01. watching, i keep waiting

It felt like clockwork. An annual phone call from your estranged father, asking for a few life updates before awkwardly ending the call. This time, the silence hung in the air longer than the usual three minutes, a quiet hesitation you stuck around for.

Beau "Cyclone" Simpson was known for being a stickler for the rules; strict and to the point. He wasn't a natural-made family man; your mom accused him of hiding in his work and neglecting his duties as a husband and father. It was the last argument they had before she stuffed you in the backseat of her car.

They hadn't seen each other since.

However, this time, the anxiety could be felt through the phone, "Dad? Is there something else you need?" You inquired.

He sighed, "How… How's your mother?" The edge that settled in his voice finally clicked. He knew. A few deep breaths later and you gathered the strength to speak.

"She's…getting better. The doctor said there's hope." Silence followed again. It felt as if time slowed before he spoke again, “There’s a doctor here in San Diego who can treat her. We never divorced so… if she wants to I can…” He went quiet for a moment. “I know the move would be taxing but you guys would be closer to family and—”

“I'm not sure if she would want that, dad.” You spoke softly, gently cutting him short. “I've tried to convince her to take the recommendation, but…you have to speak to her.” Further silence followed. You could almost hear his heart hammering over the phone.

Your parent's relationship was a mystery to you. They’d never divorced but you were uprooted and planted halfway across the country when they separated. Your father didn’t fight and your mom didn’t have it in her to keep up with him. He’d prioritized his career over his family, and you knew he regretted it following your and your mother's departure.

Sure, you’d seen him sparsely throughout the years, receiving birthday gifts and visiting for holidays, but the damage had been done.

"Alright. You're right. I'll try to talk to her as well." He conceded. You didn't respond, whispering a soft goodbye before pivoting towards the window.

Observing as your mother tended to her garden, humming along with the radio. You had made a home in Virginia, but was it home? Both of your mother’s and father’s families were on the West Coast and the state held bitter memories after a failed engagement.

She'd always been stubborn, and while you weren't your father's advocate, you couldn't lose her. You understood this was her best option, yet she refused to take it.

It felt like days they spent speaking over the phone. Your father fighting tooth and nail to match your mother.

“You can’t honestly expect me to move halfway across the country for a maybe.” She spat. You couldn’t hear your father’s response but whatever he said softened her, wilting as her eyes filled with tears. She glanced at you. “Fine. We’ll see you then.” Her shoulders slumped as she made her way towards you, plopping on the couch and leaning her head on your shoulder.

“Pack your swimsuit. We’re going home.”

Phone calls had been made, flights booked, boxes shipped and suddenly you were standing in your childhood room. Not much had changed, except for the piled-up boxes that had been pushed into the corner. Memories hung around like outdated decor, a bitter taste filling your mouth.

A light knock jerked you out of your stupor.

“I didn’t know what to do…so I left it as it was.”Your father stood at the door. His frame taking up most of the space.

You inhaled a shaky breath, “Do you think it will work?” The fragility in your voice was noticeable as he inspected your face with a crease in his brows, lips pursed. “I hope so.”

Not much else was said as you continued to unpack. Mentally running through your to-do list for the next month and a half. Your mom had a doctor's appointment set for next week, and all you could hope for was promising news in the meantime.

Your mother's illness put a hiatus on your life. Her diagnosis turned your axis on its head; stability gone in a wink. Now you were unsure. Unsure of your future, of time, of her future. You decided to take time off of work and dip into your savings, this move wouldn’t strain you. If you were lucky, you’d be able to find a job near base, hopefully in some clinic. You couldn’t focus on patients when you’d see your mother in everyone. Time lost in your career wouldn’t compare to the time you valued with your mother.

While strolling through the house, you noticed your old family photos hadn’t been moved. Not a speck of dust to be seen in the home as you glanced at your parents in the living room. The tension was easy to notice. It permeated the air and left a heavy feeling in your lungs.

Words were waiting to be said you didn't want to be around for the aftermath. Not only to spare yourself from the debris of their approaching fight but also to give yourself the freedom to reset. Your emotional turmoil was eating you alive you needed some time to breathe.

“I’m gonna go visit Penny, she said to head down the bar once we were settled.” A swift kiss on your mother's cheek while she murmured, “Send her my regards.”

San Diego was a time capsule, the neighborhoods aging while the city was ever-changing. Familiar streets diverging off to ones you didn’t recognize. It’d only been a few years since you’d last come down and somehow that was enough time to reinvent the city.

Hard Deck itself had seemed the same, the amiable environment and ocean breeze skimming your cheeks. You’d arrived before the pub opened, approaching with excitement and allowing the bell to signal your arrival.

“Here I thought you were gonna stand me up?” Penny glanced over you with shining eyes, “Looks like at least oneSimpson can keep a promise.” A grin filled her face as she embraced you, her hug providing the warmth and consolation you needed after a massive move. “Where’s your mother?”

“Having it out with my dad” She winced.

“No wonder you got here before the bar opened.” You two shared a knowing look. You knew Penny had questions. Your mother was private about her sickness and never disclosed details. She even attempted to keep things from you. “Mom is down to see a doctor who might be able to help. I don’t know how the hell dad convinced us to share a roof but here we are.” You shrugged, wrapping behind the bar for a waist-apron.

Penny understood, bouncing her head as she gave you a gentle smile, “She's a determined woman. I believe she'll beat its ass before it even thinks twice about getting her.”

A faint huff came out of your mouth, “You know, you’re not wrong…” Before you could continue, Penny chimed in.

“There's a reason they referred to her as Hurricane, not only to piss off your dad but being an admirals daughter made her tough. Hell, your grandfather could barely keep her in check. He said he could control your mother or do his job.”

Laughter filled the bar, resounding through the empty building. The two of you calmed down, and you nodded your head in mortification, arranging some of the spirits as she continued.

“Hey, there's a reason we call you a little spitfire. Your dad and your mom? Of course, they'd create a vixen.”

A delicate smile graced your face, "I missed you, Penny." You admitted, "And I you. It’s not every day I get to see my favorite niece.” She tapped your nose as she turned to clean the bar top.

“Penny, I’m your only niece.”

“Details, details..” She hitched a tub of glass cups on her hips, waving you off, “If you aren’t gonna get to work, I’m gonna have to throw you overboard. We got a boat docked today.” You giggled at your aunt’s antics, appreciating her ability to keep the conversation light.

Penny glimpsed at you curiously, “Have you talked to….anyone else since you got back?” You understood what she asking without having her clarify. “Just some family members.” She gave you the eye, “But no. Haven’t spoken to Bradley in eight years and counting.”

“I thought you guys reconciled after you both graduated?”

“Not really. We talked sure, but we hadn’t spoken between then and when we finally did, things went to shit.”

Penny bobbed her head in understanding. "Stick jockeys… the only thing that keeps them grounded is insubordination." A huff fell off your lips as you got busy moving between tables. The crowd came in all at once, hordes of uniforms tottering in, some with arm candy, others eyeing for arm candy. This kept you in constant motion; gathering up drinks, bringing refills, making cocktails, and dancing around the jukebox.

The throng kept you light-headed, and you were thankful for it.

Groups of locals, navy sailors, and aviators cheered, drank, and sang. You were grabbing a refill for someone at the bar as Penny flirted with someone who looked vaguely familiar; he flashed her a warm smile as you tried to place him.

The distraction was short-lived when you took a pool stick to the hip. Your tray tilting into the hands of an arrogant aviator, his grin cocksure as he glanced you up and down, “Sorry dove,” He started, restacking the glasses, “I didn’t—”

“Careful.” You warned. “Disrespect a lady and get the bell.” Your finger pointed as a mischievous smile graced your face, “I think a pool stick to the hip is reason enough, no?” Your hands had been itching all night to ring the bell, it’d be a while.

“What if I help you carry this tray of glasses to the bar and work on an apology for you?” His green eyes filled with mirth, both of you enjoying this small pissing match.

“Much obliged.” You dumped the tray in his unsuspecting hands and he stumbled to keep it upright. Some of his fellow aviators cheered you, amused by the exchange. You made your way behind the bar as he handed you the tray, “Sorry for sticking it ya...” He pondered off, massaging the back of his neck, “Didn’t know you were behind me, I wouldn’t have gone so far back if I did.”

“To be fair, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“If I ask for refills would that ruin the apology?” He grins sheepishly.

You barked out a laugh, “What if I charge you double for your beers and consider it even?”

“Sold!”

He skimmed you over one more time. “Can I get your name on the side?” Silence fell between you two as you reached for the beers. He leaned on the bar, relaxing as he drew everyone's gaze towards him.

You let out a small laugh, deciding to toy with him a bit. "Callsign?" He knotted his brows together, "Hangman." You bobbed your head. "Top Gun graduate?" He nodded once again. You leaned in next to his ear, your voice quiet, "Piece of advice, Lieutenant….” You glanced into his eyes, whispering, “You might not want to hit on the daughter of the vice-admiral."

You didn't typically pull out your dad's rank, but this time it was worth it. His mug slipped, paling slightly. "They call me little Simpson. But hush,” You dragged a finger over your lips, “This is a secret between you and me.” You gave a small smirk. "Here are your beers sir," He didn't say another word as he toddled back towards his table, his crowd hollering at his stupefied disposition.

The sun had just started to set, disappearing behind the horizon and you called Penny for your break. You tucked away your apron as she took over, pumping cocktails and drinks out with ease. “I’m heading down to the shore for a bit, I missed California sunsets.”

“Remember, I need you back in 15!” She called after you, too occupied flirting.

The sand was warm and the breeze was gentle. Allowing yourself to unwind as you sit in the sand, resting your head on your knees, you listened to the hustle and bustle of the bar in back of you. Your aunt had run the bell and someone just got thrown overboard. You watched as the same aviator from before was one of the few that carried the old-timer out.

You still couldn’t place him but decided to let it go. You could ask Penny about it later.

A familiar tune of piano keys causes your spine to straighten. Nausea twisted itself in your stomach as goosebumps peppered your skin. You stood up, listening for his voice as he started singing, still incapable to believe it unless you see him.

You peeked, treading cautiously towards the window.

And there he was.

Sitting at the piano bench, singing the same song Carole hummed in the kitchen when she babysat you. His fingers danced on the keys as he commanded the room, bobbing his head as he sang. He had a fuller build, aviators sloped on his nose with an open Hawaiian shirt. The same one Carole said he could wear once he was old enough for it to fit him.

Dread spread through your limbs as time stalled. Penny would understand if you left now. You’d just have to run in and grab your things. You’d be gone before he noticed you.

The hesitation only worsened when he raised his eyes and that confidence was taken over by surprise. It was only a second but it was enough to jerk you into action. Descending into the crowd, you concealed yourself between bodies as you escaped towards the back to grab your keys.

The song wasn’t quite finished yet. He kept up his performance and you didn’t have it in you to match him today. “Penny—”

“Go. I know now isn’t the time.” You embraced her tightly, swearing to drop by tomorrow and complete your shift, but right now you needed to go, and having a face-off with the man who broke your heart isn’t what you needed. Maybe later, but not now, it would be too much.

The air hit your flushed cheeks, catching your breath from the sudden intrusion. You glanced up one more time before trekking to your car, watching him bask in the ambiance of the crowd cheering him on, arms spread out to take in the energy. It didn’t last long before his gaze set itself on you, making his way through the crowd with a smile. Anyone would miss it, but you weren’t anyone. His face was tight and he walked stiffer than his usual gait.

You hadn’t seen Bradley Bradshaw since you were 26, and before that, since you were 18. You’d been raised together since you could remember.

It was now or never, you could spilt at the last moment and very evidently run or you could hesitate and let him catch up to you.

Whatever options you had evaporated as the door opened. It moved slowly, and you held your breath.

In that moment you felt foolish, why did you need to hide? He was the one that left you that morning. He was the one that didn’t answer your phone calls and refused to reach out. Outrage simmered in your throat as you felt it flush in your ears. Why hide when you could bury the hatchet here and let him have it?

He slowed as he got nearer as if he could never reach you no matter how far or fast he walked. He dangled his aviators on the neck of his tank, gathering himself. His gaze followed you up and down, leaving a burn wherever you felt his stare.

“Bradley ‘The Brave’ Bradshaw.” You spat.

He winced narrowly at your tone. Wonder steeling his bones as he was rendered speechless.

“How was the last…what? Decade? It’s been almost a decade since I’ve seen you. Phew time just flies. Doesn’t it?” You folded your arms over your chest, standing at attention as he just stared.

He didn't talk for a while. Breathing as he thought, chewing his bottom lip, just like he always did when he was unsure what to say.

“Good talk.” You headed for your car before he grasped your wrist, a gentle tug but one loaded with desperation. “I…” He paused again.

"Fuck, I don't know what to say." He rubbed his forehead, taking a swig of his beer. "I mean, I didn't have time to prepare a script and all." He motioned around, catching his failed attempt at a laugh.

"I'm sorry." He blurted. You both stood dumbfounded, just in surprise at each other's company. "I should've written, or texted, or emailed. I shouldn't have…." He trailed off as if shame carried his voice away.

“Oh wow. He thinks too. Isn't that convenient?” Your biting remark was followed by a snort, “Apology not accepted. It was shitty of you to leave me like that, knowing what was going on and deciding I wasn’t worth even a goodbye. You didn’t even say goodbye Bradley.”

Tears lined your eyes as bitterness warmed you, “I thought I wouldn’t be so mad at you after all these years. Believed that if I ran right now I could put it behind me but no…the years we spent together meant nothing when you left like that.” Your voice hardened with your resolve.

His grasp slackened on your wrist, “Then why did you come back? Thought you would’ve had the wedding by now.” He cocked his head to the side, aggravating you in the process.

“No.” You spit the words out, “Called the engagement off when he said my mother’s illness wasn’t worth the trouble.” Bradley stood dumbstruck, mouth gaping like a fish out of water. It wasn’t often Bradley lost his composure, he had to be able to keep his head on tight if he was flying a jet. In this moment, he felt ill. He didn’t even know.

“She’s…She’s sick?”

You puffed out air, understanding that while you may seething, Bradley still cared for your mother. She took him in when Carole passed and Pete left him with nothing but a dim future. As much as you hated him, you understood that hearing about your mother's illness hurt. He loved her like family and he didn’t have much of that left.

“Bye Bradley.” You shook him off as he trailed after you, this time a bit brisk.

“What do you mean she's sick? Is it a cold, is it the flu?” Panic rested in his eyes as he scrutinized at you. Scanning your face for answers.

Your eyes bore into the asphalt. “It’s stage four Bradley.” You said feebly, the topic weighing you down as if sandbags had been placed on your shoulders, “The doctor said there might be a chance but we don’t know yet.”

He stood rigid, processing this information as grief seized his throat. Squeezing tight until he could barely speak. “I-I didn’t know or else I would’ve…”

“Would’ve what? Finally, called? You cut me off and I made do with it, but my mother? She loved you like one of her own and you just left.”

He rubbed his face. Palms shielding his eyes as he took a few breaths in, “At the time, I couldn’t have stayed. You may not understand why but I couldn’t stay.”

“Or you just didn’t want to.” His eyes shot up towards you, “You know that isn’t why I left. You know damn well.”

“No, I don’t. I woke up the next morning with nothing but your old pair of aviators and some dog tags. The bed was cold and I was alone.” You both had a stare-off, clearly oblivious of what the other was thinking.

You just puffed and watch as Bradley stood there, in all his aviator glory, allowing the anger that filled your body to tide you in. Electricity pooled into your palms and you tried not to slap him, all you could process was that anger, just anger anger anger. It was all you had that wasn’t grief.

Whether he was here or not, it didn't matter. You were too cross to articulate any of it. Years of bottled emotions popping open before you could process them. Stillness suspended itself in the air again, gripping both of you by the neck.

“I need to go.” You said firmly, “I just… I can't handle you right now. Not now.”

Slipping into your car, you give him one last look. He was impassive, closing himself off so he didn’t have to process it.

It wasn’t your problem anyway, you just needed to get home.

[her-power]

Fixation on the Darkness (The Finale: Dark Romance! e.m. x fem! reader)

‼️🚨 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🚨‼️

Trigger/Content Warning: Dark Eddie! Grief. Violence. Language. Angst. Some light smut.

Summary: Full summary on Part One.

Word Count: 4.2k

You were in a dream. No. A memory. The summer air was making it difficult to breathe, and all you wanted to do was scream at the sky for taking your father away. Your parents were divorced, not because they didn’t love each other, but because your father was a gay man. He was diagnosed with AIDS six months ago. Six months. That’s all it took. And he was gone. You were only fifteen. You wanted to punch all the people in Hawkins who were afraid to go near him, who were afraid of catching the “gay disease”. Your father being gay didn’t change how much you loved him, it made you love him even more, because he was himself, he was kind, caring, and beautiful. You were at the lake, fisting the damp ground beneath your fingers as you stare at the sun rays reflecting off the water. A pain hits your gut, and you groan loudly, you fist the ground more and then you scream. You scream with all your might. 

I haven’t thought about this memory in a long time. You say to yourself. You haven’t thought about him in a long time. 

This was when Eddie became your person. 

Your best friend. 

You felt his presence before he could say a word. 

“Go away.” You whimper, not looking at him. 

“No.” You hear him move closer. 

“Please! Go away!” You cry, turning towards him, your face wet with tears. “Please leave me alone.” 

His face is soft, serious. “Your mom is worried about you.” 

“I don’t care.” You growl, turning away him.

“Sweetheart, I need you to talk to me.” He sits next to you now and you scramble to your feet, glaring at him. 

“I don’t need to talk about anything. My father is dead. There’s nothing to talk about.” 

His brown eyes are sad, seeing you this way. “I’m here for you, you idiot.” 

“I don’t want you to be!” You scream at him. His face falls and you know you hurt him. “Go. Away. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

“Hurt me all you want sweetie; I’m not going anywhere.” He’s pissed now. 

“God you’re so stubborn! Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be off somewhere with that girl from the Hideout?!” 

He gets to his feet, towering over you and you glare up at him. “Your father just died and excuse me for being a little fucking worried that my best friend is about to fall into a deep end of fucking despair.” 

“I’m already there, asshole!” You yell at him; tears fill your eyes. “I’ve been there for six months. And NOW you want to play the worried card? Go fuck yourself.” 

“You didn’t let me in! I asked you time and time again what you needed from me, what I could do for you and you shut me out!” 

You slap your palms against his chest to move him away from you and he stumbles back, not breaking your stare. “I shut you out because I wanted to avoid something like this! If I shut you out, it means that I made the choice to lose you! You weren’t taken from me!” 

He blinks, taken aback. “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve heard!” 

“Just leave! Leave me alone!” You’re sobbing now. 

“No!” He screams at you, his eyes wide with tears. 

You whimper, feeling defeated. “Why? Why won’t you leave?” 

“Because I’m in love with you!” 

It feels like your heart stops and the entire forest goes quiet. He doesn’t move, he just stares at you and you stare back at him. You blink, taking in his appearance. His shoulder length curly hair, his ripped Motley Crue t shirt, his black jeans and sneakers, the rings adorning his fingers. 

“You…you…you’re what?” You stammer. 

His arms fall to his sides. “I’m in love with you. I love you.” 

You shake your head, stepping back but he moves closer. “Me? Why me? How can…you love me?” 

He gives you a sideways smile. “How can I not? You’re everything to me. You’re my best friend. You make me laugh, even when you’re pissed at me. Because your nose does a little crinkle when you’re yelling at me. You’re kind. Which I hate sometimes because you’re too nice to people who don’t deserve it but that’s also what I love the most about you. I have loved you since the second I laid my eyes on you. Even if I never told you, even if you found someone else to love, I would still love you, because you’re my person.” He steps towards you slowly and you stand still. Hot tears stream down your face, and he wipes them away with his palm, holding your cheek. “I love you. That’s why I’m staying.” 

You gasp awake, your entire body felt stiff. You couldn’t move your legs or your arms, something was in your mouth. You were laying on hard, cold concrete, a few feet off the ground. The sky above you was a dark red, thunder rocked the sky. You head a scream of agony, and you lift your head, immediately feeling dizzy and wetness in your hair. 

Steve was in front of Eddie who was wrapped tightly in black talon like vines, slicing his body over and over with a long blade. You breathe heavily, your fear was evident. You try to break free of your restraints, trying to move yourself off as your fear turns into anger. You groan in frustration and shimmy your body, falling off the concrete slab and onto the ground, landing on your back. Steve whips around to look at you and smiles. “Morning, sunshine!”

You try to yell at him, your anger seething but the gag was making it difficult. You watch as Steve walks away from Eddie, whose head slumps down to his chest but he was still breathing. Long gashes adorned his skin, a long with what looked like burns. Steve kneels in front you, smiling. Your eyes narrow and he gently pats your hair, your shudder away from him but he grabs your head. 

“I’m trying to be nice to you. Also trying to be nice to him, I’ve been going at it with him for hours. Poor guy needs a break.” 

“Fuck…you…” You hear Eddie say weakly. 

Steve chuckles, taking out the blade that was covered in blood and bring it to your cheek. “I heard your blood tastes good.” He glides the flat side of the blade up your cheek, and you don’t break his stare. The point of the blade goes under your gag, and he moves it up, tearing it from your mouth. 

“Get the fuck away from me.” You growl. 

“Aww that’s not nice.” 

You spit in his face, glaring at him and he smiles, wiping your saliva with the back of his hand. A low growl rumbles in his chest and he grabs you by your shoulder roughly, lifting you up and you try fighting him off. He struggles against you but gets the upper hand when he forcefully slams you against a dead tree, using the ropes that tied your body to tie it tightly against the tree. You groan in frustration, feeling the burn of the rope as you try to move out of them. He had put you across from Eddie, who was covered in long bleeding gashes, his blood wasn’t just crimson, it was black as night, and that terrified you. 

“I was hoping you’d stay asleep while I have my fun, but I think this makes it much more interesting. You watch what he endured while he was trapped here.” Steve grins, gently moving your hair away from your face and you whip your head back.

“Where’s big bad, Vecna?” You say through your teeth. “I thought you said you weren’t his lap dog.”

“I’m not.” He growls and he glances up at the red sky. “See those bats? They’re his eyes. He’s too weak to be here, but he enjoys the show.” 

“He’s a coward.” 

“Don’t speak of him that way.” Steve growls.

Eddie lets out a chuckle, almost high pitched, maniacal. "So, you do bend over for him.” Eddie lifts his face up, your heart jumps in your throat when you realize his eyes are no longer brown. They are his eyes. Steve glares at Eddie, who meets your eyes, not showing any emotion, but you felt something…familiar. 

He did something.

He made his eyes change. It had to do with him being here, you knew it. He was able to change things, do things like magic. You almost want to scream with relief, but you keep yourself quiet. Eddie was planning something.

“Why don’t you start by untying me, Harrington?” He says, spitting a wad of blood at his feet. “I have some business with my love.” 

“Nah.” Steve says with a laugh. “I’m not falling for that. I know how your brain works, we’re one in the same, remember?” 

“We’re not the same.” Eddie’s voice is low, terrifying. His fangs grow and he smiles. “I died, you didn’t. You only think we’re the same, you’re just a puppet.” 

Steve laughs, but you could feel his rage. You feel the back of his hand connect with the side of your face and you gasp, feeling blood on your lower lip; Eddie reacts in his restraints, a loud growl escaping him. Your cheek was sore, and you felt even more dizzy than you had before. 

“Cool little trick you did there, with your eyes.” Steve says with a smirk. “You seem to have a lot of power when you’re down here.” 

Eddie chuckles. “Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are when you speak? I mean, before all this. Just a sad little boy, chasing Nancy Wheeler. The unattainable fruit. Where did that get you, Harrington? Alone. Riding the dead dick of Vecna.”

“Fuck you!” Steve yells, taking the blade and slicing Eddie in his arm, Eddie yells in pain and you struggle against the tree.

“Stop it!” You yell. You catch a glimpse of the blade in the off lighting, there was something glowing on the tip of the blade, it wasn’t blood. Steve sees you looking. 

“Belladonna, my dear. Figured out it’s poisonous to creatures like us...like them." He glances up at the sky towards the bats. "Your boyfriend loves it.” 

Tears fill your eyes as you look at Eddie’s slowly paling skin; Steve walks over to you, his cold fingers graze up your cheek. “I’ve always thought you were so beautiful. So kind. As soon as I found out you were dating him, I was heartbroken. Why couldn’t you love me?”

Your eyes narrow. “Are you fucking kidding me, Steve? You? I wouldn’t even give you the satisfaction of being in your dreams. You’re a pig. And a murderer.” 

He grips the back of your head roughly, his fingers pulling at your scalp, and you shudder. “I would’ve made you scream my name louder than you have screamed his, and that’s a promise.” He roughly presses his lips against yours, you feel his tongue slide uninvited into your mouth and you feel your stomach churn. He pulls away from you, laughs, and then you feel the hilt of the blade hit your head, and you’re swimming in darkness again. 

“Wake up, sleepyhead.” You hear Eddie’s voice in your ear, soft. His lips gently kiss your cheeks, your hair. 

You groan, not opening your eyes, pulling him towards you so your legs are wrapped around him tightly. “I don’t want to.”

“You wanted to see the sunrise.” He smiles against your hair. “It’s so quiet. Perfect time to go to the lake to watch it.” 

“Tomorrow.” You grumble and he giggles. You feel his soft lips kiss yours. 

“Come on, baby.” His voice cuts through your soul, you shiver. The softness of it, the seductive feel to it. You open your eyes, gazing into his beautiful brown ones. You press your lips to his, feeling the electricity as his tongue slides gently into your mouth and you moan. You turn him on his back, deepening the kiss, and you pull your shirt over your head. "This feels like a trick." He laughs against your mouth, his hands glide down your waist, cupping your bare ass. You could feel his erection at your opening and you grind against him, he moans against your mouth and you pull him out of his boxers. You carefully lower yourself onto him, you both groan loudly as you position yourself feeling him go deeper and deeper into you. You roll your hips, his hands reach up to cup your breasts as you move, every single part of you was tingling with pleasure and you could spend all day here if you could.

When you were both finished, you had just enough time to go to the lake to watch the sunrise. It had been a year since your father's death, and everyday he wanted to make sure you saw the beauty in things even when things felt like darkness. When you got to the lake, you stand there in awe as the sun began to rise, beautiful shades of pink, oranges and red reaches your eyes. You could feel Eddie's eyes on you, and you couldn't help the tears that overflow from your lids. You look up at him and he holds your face, wiping your tears away and you rest your cheek against his palm.

"I don't deserve you." You whisper to him.

He smiles, kissing your forehead. "I don't deserve you. But here we are. Are you okay?"

"I miss him." You whisper.

"I know." He wraps his arms around your shoulders. "I know you do."

"Never leave me. Promise me we will grow old together...sit on a porch watching our grandchildren."

He smiles at you. "I promise."

"Do you love me?"

"Always."

You wake up cold, thunder continues to boom overhead and you open your eyes. There was no sign of Steve; it was only you and a semi conscious Eddie. You feel a tug at your restraints and you almost scream, but when you turn your head you see the kind and scared face of Dustin. "Dustin?! What are you doing here?"

"Shut up, I'm rescuing you guys." His hair was wet, he had to swam through the lake to get here. You feel your restraints loosen and you awkwardly fall to your knees to the ground, your legs wobbly.

"Where's Steve?" You ask as he helps you to your feet and you make your way to Eddie.

"I saw him walking to Kreel house. I think that's where Vecna is."

You walk up to Eddie, gently patting his face and he gasps, looking up and his eyes widen when he sees Dustin.

"No, get out of here!" He growls.

"Nope, sorry pal. Rescue mission part duex starts now."

"You're gonna get yourself killed." Eddie says weakly as the two of you work together to get him out of the restraints.

"Then we will die together." Dustin says, pulling the ties loose and Eddie awkwardly stumbles to his feet. The wounds on his chest and arms were already healing. He holds your face, inspecting your head wounds. His eyes narrow.

"I'm gonna kill him." He glances at Dustin. "You're in big trouble, too."

"Okay, dad." Dustin laughs.

"Let's get out of here first." You tell him gently.

Suddenly, there's a rush of cold air, and a loud smack as you watch Dustin go flying away from you guys. Falling unconscious on the hard ground, Eddie growls as Steve makes his way towards you and Eddie deflects by tackling him. You fall to the ground, trying to find something, anything to stop Steve from attacking Eddie. You hear a screech above your head and watch as the bats make a circle, taking a nose dive towards you. You scramble to shelter as the bats circle closer, and something reflective catches your eye. It's a rusted lid of a trash can, with nails poking out from underneath. You rush towards it, hearing the squeal of the bats and you grab the handle of the lid, thrusting it upwards as they crash into you. They were so strong but you held your ground, shielding your face. You could feel one bite your leg and you scream in pain, using your other leg to kick it off of you. Scrambling to your feet, you rush to where Steve and Eddie were fighting. Steve was on top of Eddie, attempting to strangle him and you whip the lid with all your might against Steve, getting him to fall off of Eddie as he groans in pain, the nails stabbing him in the ribs. The bats make another beeline towards you but as soon as they see Eddie they rush up to the sky. You help Eddie to his feet and he takes your hand, you rush over to where Dustin laid. He was still breathing, thankfully. Eddie kneels next to him, gently shaking his shoulder. Dustin groans, and you feel a sense of relief as he slowly opens his eyes.

Something happens just then. Your skin grows hot, something stings your lower belly, something warm spills down your legs. You glance down at your stomach, seeing the sharp point of the blade that Steve held behind you sticking out of your flesh. You meet Eddie’s eyes, who sees what you see. They widen with fear.

And you can’t articulate what happens now.

“Noooooooooo!” Eddie screams, and you feel Steve pull the knife from behind you, laughing as your knees buckle. Eddie catches you, you could feel your blood spilling more and more, your ears were ringing. You can’t say much, you were starting to feel the pain. Dustin rushes to you, taking his jacket off, pressing it to your stomach as you cry out in pain to try and stop the bleeding. Eddie was gone, all you could hear was horrific, animal sounds coming out of him as he tackles Steve. Your vision was blurring, Dustin was talking to you. You turn your head to the side to watch what was unfolding.

Eddie takes the lid off the ground, walking towards Steve, his eyes blazing with rage and grief. Steve was still laughing.

“This is exactly what I wanted, that rage. So did he. Give it to me baby, show me how mad you are.” Eddie lifts the lid above his head and brings it down on Steve, once, twice. Until Steve is on his back, Eddie lunges at him, and Steve uses his feet as leverage to kick him off. He dodges a punch from Steve, using his leg to swipe under him to get him to lose his footing but he catches himself. Steve yells, tackling Eddie into the same tree that he was tied to, the blade in his hand. Eddie blocks Steve’s arm as the blade moves closer to his neck, pushing with all his might and uses the hilt of the knife to bash Steve in the head. Steve becomes dizzy, Eddie’s claws extend and in one motion, Eddie slices his throat with his hand, black blood oozes from Steve’s throat as his eyes widen and he looks at Eddie. Eddie growls, taking the blade from Steve, trembling as he stares at his old friend.

“I’m sorry, man.” Eddie whispers.

“Just…do it.” He gurgles, blood pooling from his mouth.

Steve came back for a second, but he disappeared again. Eddie plunged the knife into Steve’s chest. He takes one last breath. Steve goes limp, his eyes in a fixed stare at Eddie’s as he collapses to the ground. Eddie stumbles back, glancing over to where you and Dustin were. Forgetting. And then remembering.

He rushes towards you; Dustin was almost in tears. You were trembling, you were cold.

“Let me see, let me see.” Eddie tells you, his voice shaking as he lifts up Dustin’s jacket from your stomach. A whimper escapes his lungs as he gazes at your wound; blood covers your entire torso, it was coming out of you like rivers. “I can fix this.” His fangs elongate and he brings his wrist to his mouth.

“Nnno…” you grab Eddie’s wrist, shaking your head, tasting blood in your mouth. “No…it’s okay.”

“You’re dying!” Eddie screams, his eyes filling with tears.

You shiver, reaching up to cup his face. “I’d do it again, you know.”

Eddie holds your hand to his cheek, smearing your blood, you feel his warm tears. “I’m so sorry.” He cries.

The pain was slowly fading, you were fading. “Do you love…me?” You can’t see him anymore.

Eddie whimpers, a painful groan escapes him. “Always.”

Eddie watches as your hand falls limply from his face, your eyes in a fixed stare. You were gone. He holds your limp body to his chest, a sob escapes him. He lifts his eyes to the sky and screams, a loud, heartbreaking scream. There’s a roar in the distance and everything begins to tremble.

“We have to get out of here, man.” Dustin says, his voice shaking with sadness. The ground begins to crack under their feet.

“I’m not leaving her.” He growls.

“Take her. We’ll bury her at home. But we have to go, now.”

Eddie lifts your body over his shoulders, you were still warm, and he could feel himself question whether or not you were still alive. Eddie and Dustin run towards the dried lake, the ground still cracking underneath. Dustin spots the opening to Hawkins, and he rushes inside, Eddie follows, holding you tightly.

Eddie gasps as his face hits air as he comes up from the water. Dustin was already on shore, helping Eddie carefully drag your body to the land. Eddie falls to his knees, staring at you. It was freezing, you were beginning to grow cold. He takes your hand in his, a childlike sound escaping him and he sobs again. Harder, painful. He rests his head against your chest, trying to will the sound of your heartbeat but there was none.

There was none.

It was a nice spot. Where he buried you. Deep in the woods, under a beautiful willow tree. He didn’t leave a marker but he knew where you were. Grief was consuming him, so Dustin had to make up a story about what happened to you. You decided to travel, he told your boss. The loss of Eddie was affecting you deeply and you needed some time for yourself. He bought it. Everyone bought it. Even your mother.

Eddie wouldn’t eat. Wouldn’t sleep, not that he really good anyway. And when he did, he had nightmares.

Horrible nightmares.

A river of blood ebbs and flows through veins, colliding with unnatural blood, colliding with human blood. It heals wounds, adds color to flesh. A simple bite, a drink from a vein. Hands gripping soil, climbing, climbing.

Colors.

Sounds.

Strength.

Eyes open in the darkness.

Fixation.

Dark eyes.

Red.

Eyes.

A high pitched chuckle.

Life.

To be continued in the next installment…

A/N: What a ride. Love you all. Thank you for your continued support.

Stay spooky! I’m gonna be writing an Eddie palette cleanser after this, don’t worry though, you’ll get the next installment of this batshit series. 😘

@fearless-wretch-insanity @kellsck @kelsiegrin @trixyvixx

[writeonthrough]

Namy Nuggets (9/13)

A fanfic collection of Amy and Nathan scenes from CBC’s Heartland. (Catch up on the series here)

Nugget #9: Miracle Girl

As Nathan rides across the open fields, he watches the sun slowly sink into the sky, thankful for Canada's long summer nights. When he approaches the patch of birch trees between his property line and Amy's, he slows Powder and weaves him through the trees, following the brook, until he reaches its natural end.

He finds Amy there, moving some fallen branches around, waiting for him. His heart skips at the sight.

Amy turns at the sound of horses' hooves. She brushes the hair from her face and smiles. "Hey."

"Hey." He dismounts Powder and leads him to join Shadow, grazing in a patch of grass. Once free of the reins, he reaches for Amy. She walks into his embrace. He strokes her cheeks softly before kissing her hello. She deepens the kiss for a moment before pulling back to look at him. Nathan runs his fingers through her hair and she closes her eyes to enjoy his touch. "Sorry I'm late," he whispers. "Work would not stop today."

"I get it. No worries." She releases him and returns to their usual spot where she's already laid down a blanket and he follows her. "Lyndy took longer than usual to go down anyway."

"Well, we've never met here after dinner," he states, sitting on the blanket. He watches Amy find her spot, sitting between his legs and leaning against his chest, and his arms fold around her. "You think Lyndy could sense that you'd be gone for a bit?"

"No," she pushes back against his shoulder playfully. "I think she's a kid and some nights are harder than others."

"You're a good mom," Nathan says for the first time aloud, though he's thought it every time he sees Amy with Lyndy. "You don't seem like an obsessive worrier."

He feels her shrug against his chest. "I just don't see the point. It seems like it is a waste of energy."

"My mom is an obsessive worrier," he shares.

"Ah…" Amy turns to meet his gaze. "And how was that growing up?"

"Oh, really fun," he replies with sarcasm. "Especially when I was bronc riding."

"Is that why you stopped?"

"No." He grows quiet. "I stopped when my mom took me to Montana after she divorced my dad during grade 10. I just didn't have the same friend group anymore."

Amy takes a moment to digest the information. "That must have been hard."

"Yeah…" Though he's always appreciated Amy's kind and thoughtful responses, tonight is the first time he notes how soft, kind and understanding they are. Her empathy prompts him to continue. "Especially moving in the middle of high school. I was already a shy and sort of withdrawn kid—plotting me down in the middle of strangers expecting me to make friends didn't help."

She nods in agreement. "I'm sure it didn't."

He leans down to kiss her shoulder as thanks for her understanding. Rather than the silence filling the space between them, the sounds of dusk come to life around them: crickets chirp from their hidden spots among the grasses and the birch trees, the brook babbles as the water runs through it, and an owl hoots far off in the distance.

"So, Amy, tell me—" he starts and she turns to face him. Instead of continuing, however, he sees the brightness in her face and can't help but lean down to kiss her. She smiles as she meets his lips, once, twice, before they lose themselves in each other. She turns further into him as he tightens his hold around her. When he does, she falls back on him and he slowly lies down, guiding her on top of him. He deepens the kiss and they move together in unison.

Still gripping each other, they turn on their sides, only to be stopped by Amy's: "Ahh!"

"What?" Nathan quickly releases her. "What happened?"

"I'm fine," Amy pulls a small rock from beneath the blanket. "Stupid rock."

Only when he sees her smile and the rock in her hand does Nathan start laughing. Amy groans and tosses the rock aside. She turns back to him, sees his wide smile, and matches it. They share laughter with each other, caught in the moment. When it passes, Amy leans in to give him a quick kiss.

"You know," she sits up and adjusts her shirt, moving back to the edge of the blanket. "I was collecting firewood before you showed up and it's starting to get dark—so…"

"That's—uh—" Nathan sits up and gets his bearings. "That's a good idea. I'll help you."

"Thanks."

The two work together to start a fire. It does not take them long since both have spent nights in the wilderness constantly throughout their lives. They put the safeguards in place and kindle the fire together, watching the flames grow to a stable point where they can feel the heat on their faces.

Amy returns to the blanket and Nathan takes a place beside her. They watch the fire together, letting the flames dance in front of them.

Amy turns to him, "Did you want to ask me something?" she whispers, careful not to ruin the moment. "Before?"

"Oh…" Nathan nods and reaches out to entwine their fingers. "You seem to have a real gift at this empathy thing—not only with me—but especially around horses. And I was just wondering if that's how you got named the 'miracle girl.'"

She laughs out loud at his question. He watches her face light up again as she sits up straighter and squeezes his hand.

"What?" he asks, bemused. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"We've known each other for—like—a year," she shakes her head with a smile. "And you ask me this now? If people ask me, they mention it like—within the first five minutes of meeting me."

"Well, I'm not most people," he leans in for a quick kiss. "Now am I?"

"No, you most certainly are not." She kisses him again.

When they break apart, he gives her arm a squeeze. "Seriously, what's the story with the name?"

She sighs. "People started calling me that in high school."

"In high school?" He clarifies, shock evident on his face.

"Yeah…" She debates for a moment on whether to tell him the whole story. "Uh…My school bus was involved in a multi-vehicle crash on the highway." She notices the concern on his face and then adds, "No one on the bus got hurt…Anyway, one of the vehicles was a horse trailer and it was tipped over and was wrecked pretty badly. Once I saw the trailer, I started franticly looking for the horses out the bus window. I see a horse—Caesar—trapped in some barbed wire on the side of the road, freaking out. So, against everyone's protests, I get off the bus to calm Caesar down and try and get him free from the wire…I must have been so focused on Caesar that I didn't notice everyone staring at me…and then I found out someone was filming me as I was trying to just get this horse to calm down…on top of that, I also found out Caesar is this big famous Olympic hopeful and soon afterward his famous owner is asking me to work with him. Someone gave me the Miracle Girl name from watching the video of me calming down Caesar and then it just turned into this huge thing that I did not want or ask for...but I wanted to help Caesar and the name kind of just stayed around…So…"

"Wow…that's quite a story."

Amy scoffs. "I don't know about that. I just wanted to you to know—with obviously too many details."

"No," He puts his arm around her and squeezes her shoulder. "I like the details. Thank you for the details."

She rolls her eyes. "Uh-huh."

Nathan goes over the story in his head. "You were working with Olympic hopefuls in high school? That's a lot of pressure for someone so young."

"Yeah," she nods. He watches her eyes grow to saucers and realizes how big a deal his observation is. "It was a lot of pressure—and not just with Caesar. I worked with a couple of really big-name horses in high school…looking back on it—" She takes a deep breath, realizing, "It was actually crazy."

He turns to her and his voice softens, "Was this all after your mom died?"

"Oh, yeah," she confirms. "Yeah, all after mom died…I don't know, it was a good distraction—keeping me busy, doing what I loved, and it made me feel connected to her. So…" she shrugs, "It was nice."

[kxxkiecxre]

╰┈➤ Old Friends | Jeon Jungkook

✎PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!reader

✎SUMMARY: somewhere along the way Jungkook and you lost the lead. You’d take one step forward and four steps back. Somehow everything was lost in the path of love, in the path of something so beautiful.

✎WARNINGS: minor character death due to breast cancer, angst. Jk is a little mean for a short while, parental divorce, fluff!!

What started out as a young and blossoming friendship between the seven year old Jungkook and seven year old Y/N, turned into a sour misadventure of young hearts, splitting right under the setting skies of Paris, The young boy still living in Jungkook had his confidence and love taken, and the small girl still lively in Y/N, had her first true heart break.

Y/N found Jungkook under the staircase of their gym. Big bug eyes teary and small button nose red, her heart skipped a beat in pity and hurt, without a word hugging the younger boy to her smaller body. She offered him her favourite animal crackers, which only served to make him cry a little harder, sobbing heavily as he murmured a small ‘thank you’ and picked up a few of the lions.

Y/N smiled at him, eyes crinkling with her deep and sweet smile, urging Jungkooks boyish smile. Tears glistening in the boys eyes as Y/N wiped them away, optimistically telling him ‘now no more crying’ in her high pitched voice. The young boy nodded, smiling shyly as Y/N nudged his shoulder ‘wanna tell me what upset you?’.

The mysterious and cute boy swallowed thickly, chest swarmed with hurt and discomfort, ‘Henry told me I don’t belong here’. His voice was raspy, cracking as his bottom lip wobbled, y/n cooed, pecking his salty cheek and giving him her orange juice.

He thanked her, smiling a small smile.

From that day, Y/N became jungkook’s first friend and his favourite person. He invited her to his birthday party, which was exclusively only for him and her to enjoy in some restaurant his mom booked, full of games they could explore idly. Their moms sat somewhere in the corner, watching their two children being extremely loud and ruckus with everything but enjoying themselves.

That day, he traded his larger teddy with Y/N, telling her the pink teddy was too girly for him even though he did genuinely like it. She handed him his present, ‘i hope you like it kookie’.

The iron man teddy, though now slowly loosing his threads and has age related marks still sits on his bed. At fifteen years of age, the teddy is still his favourite item he owns. Just like the pink teddy is precious to y/n. Not really understand the homework he had, he asked his most valued person for help.

A couple days after the birthday party, you had learned jungkooks parents were divorcing. He was having a rough time, asking where his father is, wondering why he left. At the age of thirteen, Jungkook started resenting his father for leaving his mother and him for a younger woman. Now he sits across y/n with books splayed out in front of them, both rubbing their heads in confusion.

“Honestly kookie, I don’t think I’m much help to you”

He laughed. Y/N, had noticed how much he started growing into his features. His doe eyes turning more foxy, cheeks becoming higher and jawline more prominent. Y/N, though she knew much earlier, has became frighteningly more aware of Jungkooks handsomeness. She started wondering what it’d be like to kiss him. To feel his soft lips against hers. But she never let him know. It was her little secret, even if she knew it was wrong because he is her best friend and she’d never risk it like that.

At eighteen Y/N realised her feelings were much more than just a teenage crush. She hated the sight of him with other girls, it hurt her deeply. It made her tummy churn and her chest squeeze. In turn, she’d take that pain and sleep with men she didn’t particularly know much about.

What she didn’t realise is Jungkook’s feelings were even stronger for her, hating the sight of her crying over men who didn’t deserve her, worrying about her twenty four seven, staying up all night when she’d go out for drinks with her friends, always picking her up and comforting her the next morning when she’d throw up. She was his third eye, she was the woman -along side his mother- he’d protect with all his might. The woman he’d chase across the world.

Everything he was working on, his entrance for college, his career, everything was for her. Even if he didn’t end up with her, he was doing it all to ensure she had the most beautiful life possible. Opening a savings account and putting away money for her. So he can make sure she’d never have to worry about money problems like she did when they were younger.

The day both of them stumbled into his home drunk and giggling, his mother was there with a worried look and a slipper in her hand as she slapped both of them on the ass for worrying her about their were abouts.

At sixteen, Jungkook had to comfort Y/N when her mother passed away to breast cancer. He stayed all week with her, feeding her small amounts of food and helping her cope. For three months straight, Jungkook ensured her comfort. Ensured Y/N knew she had someone aside from her father to lean on. Jungkook was her fallen angel.

The young pair was together through thick and thin. From picking each other up and glueing one another back together, to sharing wonderful memories. They were there for each others firsts, from first kisses, to first cars. Jungkook and Y/N, though they did not know it yet, were destined for each other. They were bonded for life.

For their 21st birthday they flew to Thailand. Exploring new places and destinations, spending sunsets and sunrises together. That was the first time Y/N rode on a motorcycle, clinging to jungkooks back as he chuckled, wind blowing threw her hair as she laughed away. A beautiful sunset taking over the city. It was magical, beautiful. It was everything Y/N dreamed of, having Jungkook to herself for a week straight.

At twenty five years of age, they travelled to Europe, Paris was their destination. They were to spend a year there, learning French, making cheese from scratch and working at a bakery. Jungkook was the happiest he was in his life.

“I’m screwed,” y/n whispered to Jungkook, “the bagel is not bageling”.

Kneading the dough, jungkooks brows furrowed as he snickered, “that’s not a word love”.

“You get what I mean”.

Y/Ns dream was to open her own bakery in Paris, and Jungkook was adamant on making that dream come through, soon he’d tell himself.

“Well lucky for you I knew the bagels were not bageling,” he chuckled, “and made a new batch”.

He watched the way her eyes lit up, pecking his cheek as she tied the apron on her back, “you are mighty kookie!”.

During their two week work-vocation, they spent the last weekend drinking, drinking a little too much. A little too confident with their steps back to their shared apartment, somehow, words have been twisted, and Jungkook finally uttered the feelings laying heavy on his chest.

“Leave that ugly French guy,” he’d say to the sobering y/n as he swayed and she opened the door, “he’s no good for you. He could never treat you the way I could. Y/n you know me practically all my life, and to be fair, I fell in love with you when I was seven years old.”

“Oh don’t be silly, you didn’t even know what love was at seven.”

That crushed Jungkooks heart. Though he was drunk, he understood everything you were telling him and it stung him even worse than when his father left. He nodded, shutting his mouth and going to his room. Y/N didn’t intend to respond like that, she got far too nervous. She wasn’t sure wether he was spewing random Freud of love thoughts within his drunk-ness or if he truly meant his words.

The following morning, as Jungkook woke up with a pounding headache and Y/N, ever the light weight, was throwing up, he tended to her like always. Even if his heart was on its last hinge. He still rubbed her back and helped her up. Later that day, Y/N approached Jungkook.

“Yesterday, when we uhm, got home-“

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Y/N was hurt, he remembered but didn’t want to acknowledge it. It was pitiful the way he didn’t even look at her and instead, sipped his beer and looked at the tv. Y/N felt like she was choking, like he took a knife and slit her heart open. It was an awful feeling and she hated it. To be so ignored just told her she was falsely hopeful.

What y/n hated, was that for the next week Jungkook gave her the silent treatment, as if they were ten years old and arguing over who touched whose toy. At the bakery they worked in, y/n once again approached Jungkook, this time a lot more gently and sweetly.

“Kook can we talk”

“I’m busy.”

Y/N felt herself finally breaking down. Her heart aching so painfully she thought she was having a heart attack. To be shut down by your best friend is one thing, but to be ignored and given to cold shoulder is another thing. It hurt her so bad, that once they got home she looked at him with eyes full of tears and once again asked.

“Kookie, can we please talk”.

“We have nothing to talk about.”

Nodding silently to herself, she didn’t even shrug of the knee length faux fur black coat, instead turning to the door and leaving. Her fishnets done absolutely nothing to keep her bare legs warm in the bitter cold of Paris. Her above knee checkered dress was usual in keeping her body from shivering. But she was hurt, and she needed to be away from him, or else she’d be completely broken.

For more than a week now, he’s ignored her. Shut her out. Didn’t utter a single word to her, and refused to discuss what had been said. Now she sat at the curb of the path, staring up at the lit up Eiffel Tower, stuck in the city of love with a broken heart. She scoffed to herself, sniffling as her eyes teared up all over again.

Though hurt and stubborn, Jungkook followed her steps. He knew he messed up, but the way she had answered him that night really hurt him. Closed the deal for him. He shouldn’t have expected her to reciprocate his feelings, but he hoped, that maybe even a little bit of her had more than just friendly feelings for him. Despite it all, he still had to make sure she was okay.

Sitting beside her, he nudged her shoulder, offering her a pack of animal crackers. She looked at him with knitted brows, clear hurt evident in her eyes, “so now you want to talk? It took me breaking down for you to talk to me? Really Jungkook?”.

He sighed, his head hanging low, “y/n there isn’t much to talk about. I told you I love you and you told me it wasn’t real, what’s more to it? You want to tell me you hate me too?”

She scoffed, getting up of the curb and patting her backside off any dirt, “maybe if you talked to me, you’d realise I was nervous when you said that to me. Maybe you would have had the opportunity to tell me again, and I could tell you I felt the same way, but this time you’d be sober,” she turned away from him, “and I broke up with ugly French guy a long time ago.”

She began walking away, and as stunned as Jungkook was, he sighed heavily once again, following her closely as she walked away from him and into the city, taking the known route back home. The bustling of the streets was loud, at ten past nine it was usually busy. He had to make sure she got home safely.

The following day, jungkook unexpectedly back hugged Y/N in the bathroom as she brushed her teeth, weakly trying to shrug him off, “I’m sorry love, I have something to show you, will you come with me it’s important?”.

Even if she was beyond annoyed with Jungkook and upset, she’d follow him into the depths of dark, so nodding an annoyed yes, she dressed quickly and followed the man closely.

“Before we get there, I want to tell you, that I truly am sorry. I was just so upset when you said my feelings weren’t real, I thought you were trying to tell me you didn’t see me like that. It was childish of me to react like that anyway, but I hope you aren’t too upset with me”.

Her annoyed expression was enough to tell the young man she was pissed off with him, “I’m mad but I’ll get over it.”

He smiled, hugging her to his side as they continued to walk. Finally, they were stood in front of a unit, on the shopping street, there were plenty of shops and restaurants and business around, and there was this little place, outside covered in an ugly green and white colour. Her brows furrowed, unsure of why she was directly staring at their reflection in the windows, until she noticed the small Neon sign on the far wall ‘Angel Bakery.”

The name she told him she’d put down as their bakery’s, name. Her eyes teared up as she turned to look at him, he held a set of keys, his own eyes tearing up as she smiled at him, falling into his arms as she hugged him. She sniffled into his neck, his arms hugging her tightly as she pulled away from him, holding his chin in her hands and pecking his forehead.

“My angel, you’re my angel kook. No matter what you do, you’ll always be my angel”.

He smiled that bunny smile at her, eyes glancing to her lips as he held her face in his hands. He stared deeply into her eyes, both of their chests swarming with feelings, tummy’s full of butterflies as if they were on a rollercoaster, his lips met hers in a sweet kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck as his wrapped around her waist.

“Friends huh.”

The sound of Jungkook’s mothers voice brought them out of their daze. Both of their cheeks burning up as Jungkook muttered a “I didn’t think you’d be this early”.

“About damned time y’all settled down, I want grandkids for gods sake.”

The laughter filled the streets as his mother approached her son first, hugging him sweetly as she then approached you, hugging you tightly, her scent familiar and homely.

“He got you a ring since he was seventeen years old. Hopefully he doesn’t waste more time.”

A/N: enjoy my lovelies!!! This was so cute to write! I listened to ‘old friends’ by Coldplay as I wrote this.

NO TRANSLATION, COPYING OR RECREATION OF ANY KIND IS PERMITTED OF MY WORK!

MASTERLIST