#what is life like not being stunningly gorgeous

[carnelianscar]

what do people do when they're not hot like

[niallhorxns]

Niall Horan x Reader: Panicked

Prompt: You have a panic attack while you're on tour with him, he helps you through it.

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: anxiety, panic attack

A/N: hello!!! i recently discovered there's a painfully limited amount of niall x reader fics out there, so i'm adding to the pot. feel free to send requests / prompts if anyone has ideas they want me to write :) (i especially love angst, so give it to me).

Niall’s laugh fills the air as he leans forward and chats back and forth with the driver. If you weren’t so busy gazing at the views around you, you would’ve held onto the sound of it longer– reminded yourself it’s still your favorite sound in the entire world. 

Tonight is night… forty five? No, forty six. Hell, you can’t remember. All you know is that as far as cities go, this one is small– but it has a certain charm to it that you’ve been admiring the entire ride to and from breakfast.

“Oh, take a look at that,” Niall says, reaching over your lap to point out the window. He’s motioning towards the river, sparkling blue underneath the clear sky, and lined with a cobblestone walkway. “That’s gorgeous.”

He says it longingly– like he wishes he could get out of the car and walk along the path. But of course he doesn’t suggest that. In fact, Niall rarely suggests outings when you’re with him on tour– because he knows how anxious it makes you. Not the outing itself, but the likelihood of him being spotted. You could handle a walk along the river, but you’d have a hard time handling a swarm of people bombarding you on a walk along the river. 

It must drive him crazy– the way you always prefer sticking to the venue or hotel. And while he always claims to understand each and every time you say no to a public dinner, or whatever adventure is planned for the day, you can’t help but wonder if there will come a time that he gets sick of you always anxiously hanging back. 

Your anxiety has ruined so much for you. It’s ruined school events and trips, it’s ruined friendships and opportunities. You don’t want it to ruin your relationship with Niall, too.

For the last year and a half, you’ve been attending therapy consistently– learning breathing techniques and grounding skills to cope with anxiety. 

You wonder if now was a good time to test if it was working. 

“Do we have time before soundcheck?” You ask.  

Niall checks his watch. “It’s only eleven thirty. We don’t have to be back at the venue until one. You want to walk around?” He asks, a hint of surprise in his tone. 

“Yeah, let’s do it,” you agree. 

Niall grins before asking the driver to pull over. 

Hand in hand, the pair of you stroll along the river casually, admiring the views around you. Summer is in full bloom– all the trees a brilliant shade of green, the sky stunningly blue. 

“Look there–” Niall uses his free hand to gesture at a family of ducks swimming along the rivershore. You both stop in your tracks and watch for a moment, a smile spreading widely across your face. 

“This is so nice,” you say. It’s so rare that you actually got quality time with Niall when he was on tour. Sure, you accompanied him to most shows, but you rarely got any shred of privacy. 

This is what life might look like if Niall wasn’t… well, if he wasn’t Niall. You could take quiet walks in the morning along a riverbend. You could sit on park benches and drink your coffee without being swarmed. You’d be free to live your lives– unbothered, undisturbed. 

But that wasn’t reality. And through the years, you learned that the only thing about your situation that you had control over changing was yourself. You couldn’t change the fact that Niall was adored and loved by people wherever you went. But you could try to change how anxious that made you.

You’d accepted the fact that you would always be introverted. People, present company aside, were draining. You’d never get energized from crowds like Niall did, and you’d never like being the center of attention. All you wanted was to be able to handle yourself when Niall inevitably was surrounded by crowds– that way you weren’t always restricted to what you could and couldn’t do whenever he was on tour. 

“It is nice,” Niall agrees. 

“And to think I’d never even heard of this town before,” you add. 

Niall chuckles while you lean further into his side. “I think we’re actually really close to the venue, too,” he says, tilting his head towards the direction of the road. 

The road, which is parallel to the path, curled around a corner and sure enough, in the distance, you could see the faint outline of the venue Niall would perform in tonight. 

“Oh wow, I didn’t realize–” you begin. But before you can finish your sentence, your heart clenches in your chest. Because as soon as you’re far enough along the path to see the road leading to the entrance of the venue, the line of fans waiting to get in appears. 

They’re across the street from the two of you, less than a football field away. Hundreds of fans sit– in their pretty clothes and outfits on the concrete, waiting in the hot sun for your boyfriend’s show. You are simultaneously proud that he is so adored, and terrified that you’ll be spotted. 

“Shit,” Niall mutters under his breath. “Let’s turn back.”

“We can keep going,” you say, trying desperately to prove to him that you really are getting better– that you don’t have to be coddled all the time. 

“We don’t have to–”

“The venue’s closer than the car,” you reply. “It’s fine, let’s just go.” 

“You’re right. Maybe we can just sneak by. Go in the side gate there,” he suggests, nodding towards a side entrance to the venue. “I’m pretty covered up today. You up for that?” 

You nod slowly, although you aren’t sure how true that really was. But at least Niall looked pleased– maybe even a little impressed. 

Following his lead, you keep your head down and just focus on taking one step after another. Your gaze remains fixated on the stone beneath your feet, hoping to evade detection. You breathe in, forcing the air to your stomach– just like your therapist taught you, hold it, and out. 

And slowly, the two of you get closer and closer to the venue, just enough so that you actually start to feel hopeful that maybe you’ll pull it off. 

Until the screaming starts. 

It starts off slow– one person shrieks. 

And then it becomes hysterical– the kind of screams you let out when there’s a snake in the pool or a spider in the shower. Except you know these girls aren’t screaming because of snakes or spiders. They’re screaming because of your boyfriend– who is currently pressed to your side. 

“Oh shit,” he says quietly. “Here they come.”

“Ni–” you whisper, already feeling the panic creeping up your throat. And suddenly, everything you’ve been taught– all the breathing techniques and grounding skills, go out the window. Your mind is blank– frozen. 

“It’s okay,” he encourages you, giving your hand a tight squeeze. “Stand on this side of me.”

He shuffles you so that you’re on his other side– furthest from the group of fans currently running your way while you continue walking towards the venue. You aren’t going to make it in time, you realize– they’re going to catch you first. 

“It’ll be okay,” he repeats to you. “We’re close to the venue, it’ll be okay.”

All you can manage is a weak nod. 

As soon as the group approaches, the warmth from their bodies engulf you like a blanket– slow and suffocating. Niall, of course, handles everything beautifully. “Hello, hello,” he says kindly, remaining so calm. “Afraid we can’t do photos this morning, I’m late for soundcheck… Gotta get inside.”

There are bodies in front of you– there are bodies pressing behind you, bodies around you… everywhere. You lean into Niall’s touch, your clammy hand clinging to his like your life depends on it. In the vague distance, you feel him squeeze back, but it doesn’t feel real. 

“Move please!” A firm voice suddenly shouts above the noise. Instantly, you recognize the voice as one from Niall’s security teaam. Relief floods through you as he makes his way through the group to collect the pair of you. He grabs Niall’s shoulders firmly and guides him forward. In the haste to try and keep up, your sweaty palm slips from his. Desperately, you try to latch back on, but as soon as it parts, bodies slip between you. In an instant, you’re separated from the one person in the entire world that can make you feel safe. 

“Niall—” you try to say, but of course your meek voice is drowned out by the crowd. 

You think you saw a flash of his hair ahead of you, but then a body slams into yours and you stumble, losing track of where it goes. People are pushing forward– to get closer to him. And then suddenly, you can’t breathe at all. Hot bodies all around you, the beating sun above– skin and clothing touching your bare arms. You can’t take it– you’re going to suffocate in here. 

And all you can do is continue to push forward– closer to the gate, hoping that eventually, the crowd will break. 

Everything is simultaneously moving too fast and too slow as the edges of your vision blur, like you’re getting sucked deeper and deeper into a dark tunnel. Chest tightening, you struggle to inhale. 

Until suddenly, someone grabs your elbow, tugging you to your left. You don’t even have the energy to fight it. Instead, you let them pull you sideways until you’re out of the thickest part of the crowd. 

Another one of Niall’s security team that you recognize gave you a concerned look. “You alright?”

You can’t get the words out, so instead you just nod. It’s a lie, though. 

With that, he helps you the rest of the way to the venue. “Move aside!” The security guard yells, his grip on your shoulders tightening as he tries to maneuver his way through. “Move!” 

Using his arm, he sweeps the remainder of the mob from your way and ushers you through the gate. Except, even once you’re inside– separated from the crowd, you’re too far gone to even appreciate it. Instead, you feel the familiar sensation of panic creeping across every inch of your skin, like it has already taken over your entire body. You know you have to get somewhere private, and fast– before you completely fall apart. 

Without even realizing it, your feet start moving. Luckily the attention shifts to the mob of people outside, so no one even notices your attempt to slip away. Or maybe you’re just too engrossed in your own panic to notice anyone noticing you. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting somewhere quiet– somewhere safe. 

You’ve never been to this venue before– but throughout the tour, you’ve learned that most of the layouts are the same. This was an amphitheater– outdoors, minimal options for private breakdowns. Your best bet is going to be the backstage room where you and Niall left your stuff earlier in the day. If you could remember how to get there…

Even though you have no idea where you are going, your body continues to move. It leads you around a couple of corners, past the merch booth and concessions and towards the stage… You’re going to lose it if you don't get somewhere safe fast.

Suddenly, a pair of hands grip your shoulders, causing your entire body to seize. 

“It’s me,” a gentle voice murmurs. "I got you."

Through your foggy haze, you recognize Niall’s touch– except you still can’t breathe. 

One look– that’s all it takes for him to know what was going on. Because he’s the one person on this planet that you’d willingly ever let get close to you during a panic attack. 

“One to five?” he asks, indicating the rating scale the two of you had created for moments like this– so you could communicate just how bad you were feeling. One meant you could stay where you were, maybe take some breaths. Two meant he’d guide you through the grounding skills he knew about, maybe rub your back. Three was on the cusp, probably needed to go to a quiet corner to take some space. Four meant getting somewhere quiet and safe– and fast. Five meant you were probably dying. 

You hold up four fingers. It feels bad– scary. Maybe you’re dying… but you also don’t want to be dramatic. 

“Tell me what you need,” he says. 

You try– honestly, you do. You open your mouth, but all that comes out is a gasp– a plea for help. 

“Okay, it’s okay– c’mon,” he grips your shoulders and begins walking. You have no idea where– honestly you don’t have the capacity to care. All of your energy is focused on not passing out. 

Niall flashes his badge to an employee who lets you backstage. You vaguely recognize the halls he leads you down as the ones where you dropped your stuff earlier. He’s bringing you to his dressing room… because of course he knows exactly what you need.  

Once you’re inside, Niall shuts the door behind you as you stagger inside. Then, he spins around, his hands cupping the sides of your face. 

“Look at me, baby,” he says. “It’s okay– you’re okay.” 

“I– can’t–” you gasp, your own hands flying up to grip his forearms for some sort of lifeline to reality. “I can’t– breathe–” 

“Okay, okay, okay,” he says. He’s trying to stay calm, but you can hear the uneasiness in his voice. “With me.” 

He gives a deep, methodical inhale before letting out a slow, intentional exhale. “Just do it with me. Slow, like this.” 

He continues, and you try to match his pace– to breathe with him, but it feels like someone is gripping your windpipe– squeezing so hard you just can’t get enough air– 

“Niall–” you beg, your voice hoarse. “I can’t–” 

“C’mon, with me,” he repeats earnestly. He’s looking at you with terror in his eyes, but you find comfort in their familiarity just the same. “We’ve done this a hundred times before, you know how to do this.”

“I– I–” you stammer, but the words won’t form. 

“Shh, with me. Everything’s okay. I’m here. We’re both okay,” he assures you. His gaze is just so tender and soft and careful while his thumb grazes your cheek. 

“I- I can’t-” you choke again, “Please-”

“Shh-” he soothes. “Look at me, nothing else, just me.”

Your wide, desperate eyes meet his. You don’t say anything, just shudder and gasp frantically.  

“With me,” he repeats.

Niall produces loud and deliberate, slow and calming, in and out breathes. After a few seconds, you latch onto the sound, mimicking it, and then finally follow along. 

“There you go,” he whispers.

Your facial features slowly start to relax as you’re able to breathe properly.  Without your loud, choking sobs, you’re able to hear your heartbeat pounding in your chest frantically.  

“Good job,” Niall sighs. “Look, it’s just you and me, we’re okay–”

But he can’t even finish his sentence before you lean forward and wind your arms around his neck– desperate and longing for some sort of comfort. Strong, sturdy arms wrap around you as you burrow your face into the nape of his neck. You breathe him in, letting his familiar scent wash over you. 

“It’s okay,” Niall soothes. Upon feeling your shaky body pressed against his, he squeezes tighter. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here, I got you.”

You melt against him in response, bunching the fabric of his shirt into your fist, trying to communicate just how badly you need him to hold you right now. 

And that’s exactly what he does— until you can finally breathe on your own again. 

And then the wave of guilt comes.

Suddenly the realization of everything hit you– what a basketcase you’d been, running off like that, having a meltdown– you probably scared the shit out of him, or at the very least made a fool of yourself in front of the entire venue. Slowly, you pull back. 

“Are you okay?” Niall says before you can even open your mouth. 

You exhale a deep, shuddering breath that you can feel down your entire body. “I’m okay,” you say, your voice raw. “I’m so sorry– I didn’t mean to freak out.”

“Shh. Hey, hey, hey. It’s okay,” Niall says. His hands grip the outside of your shoulders gently. “Don’t apologize– I’m the sorry one, making you go through a crowd like that. That was a horrible idea.”

“It wasn’t even your idea– and I should be able to go through a crowd like that. I don’t know why I always freak out–” you stammer, feeling so upset with yourself. “It’s so stupid.”

“We talked about this, love. Remember? Anxiety doesn’t always make sense. Right? It’s not rational.” 

“I just—” you start, but you stop when you notice how choked up your voice sounds. You take a slow breath. “I wanted to prove to you that I was doing better– that I wasn’t going to freak out every time we went out. But I guess I haven’t made progress, after all.” 

As soon as you feel the tears burning behind your eyes, you dig the heels of your palms into them frustratedly, like you were physically trying to push them away. 

“It’s getting so much better though, baby,” Niall says encouragingly. “This is the first panic attack you’ve had all tour. Unless you’ve been hiding them from me,” he says with a hint of playfulness to his tone. “First one in forty-five shows. That’s incredible. Last tour you were havin’ em every other night it seemed. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but that’s huge.”

You lower your arms and nod pathetically, gaze fixated on the floor. 

“What is it?” he whispers gently. “Talk to me.”

“I’m so scared,” you choke out, “that one day you’re going to get sick of me–”

“Baby,” Niall interrupts. 

“Maybe not me, but all of this,” you say instead. “I mean, you realize you could have anyone, right? But you could especially have someone who didn’t have a meltdown every time they had to face a crowd– Or someone who could actually handle going out in public with you once and a while.” 

“Please look at me,” Niall says, voice gently serious. Pathetically, you do– your lip quivering as tears threaten to spill. “I need you to listen to me when I tell you this, okay?” 

Slowly, you nod. 

“I don’t want anyone else. Not in a million years, okay? I don’t want someone who loves crowds or going out, because they wouldn’t be you. Baby, honestly, I don’t like getting swarmed or photographed, either. If it bothered me that we didn’t go out much– I’d tell you. But it doesn’t. What does bother me is you changin’ things about yourself because you think it’ll make me happy. You make me happy. You. As you are, no changin’ things.”

You let his words sink in and try to believe them. “I’m just sorry you have to deal with me all the time. You have enough on your plate,” you groan, rubbing your tired eyes. 

Niall sighs. “Baby, I sing and play the guitar– do a little dance or two if I’m really feelin’ it. I think I can handle being there for my girlfriend on top of that,” he says. “I love you. And I want you to be okay, always. That’s all I’ll ever want.”

With all your energy seemingly zapped, you lean forward and rest your forehead on Niall’s shoulder. His arms wrap around you again, anchoring you to him. 

“I love you,” you murmur into his shirt. It’s muffled by the fabric, but it's there just the same. 

You feel his hand cradle the back of your neck while he chuckles softly. “Good, because we still have about forty more shows to go.”

[janeyseymour]

She

an anon requested this song fic based on Dodie's song. It's a really beautiful song about longing... and i attached is my own cover of the song if you'd like to hear my version of it :)

WC: ~2.6k

From the first day you began working at Abbott, you knew Melissa Schemmenti was an ethereal being. She was perfect- stunningly gorgeous, hilarious and quick witted, fiercely protective of those who she cared about- never one to back down from a challenge or threat that presented itself. And somehow you wormed your way into her heart- you still don’t really know why or how. 

Apparently, you were the absolute opposite of someone who would find themselves interacting with Melissa. You were just… you. You were young. You were positive and fun-loving, coming in with your hair done up nicely and always wearing something that had flowers on it. You were far from the blazers and jackets that she wore, but also just as far from the leather that she was usually clad in- your style was more Janine-esque. And oh how she loved to make fun of her colleagues outfit choices most days with her big skirts and ill-fitting sweaters, the clogs and shoes that didn’t have laces. The difference between you and Janine was that your clothes were shaped to your body, showing off your figure instead of hiding it- you wonder if that’s why she doesn’t make comments about your bright and sunny disposition.

But she liked having you around- she made it a point to keep you close to her during staff meetings, lunches, and outside of school- going as far as letting you come over for dinner and making you various meals.

And after so much time spent with the redheaded woman who loved to play hard and tough but was actually one of the sweetest souls, you find that you’ve developed feelings for her. The more time you spend with her though, it makes it harder and harder to mask and keep under wraps. Because she means everything to you, but you doubt she’ll ever know that. And oddly, you find that to be okay because you would rather have her in your life as a friend than as nothing at all. 

——

But are you allowed to look at her like that? Could it be so wrong when she’s just so nice to look at?

You’ve had ample time to look at Melissa- she’s always sitting next to you or across from you if you’re at her house. You would be lying if you said that you never stole a glance at her figure- it’s killer. But what really draws you in is her face and the way that she is so expressive with everything she does. Her eyes light up when she’s happy, and the way that she scrunches up her nose when she finds something so delightfully adorable melts your heart. The redhead’s smile is radiant, and you swear it could light up even the biggest of cities all on its own. And when she’s sad, you see the way that her usually sparkly emerald eyes dull just slightly in disappointment or regret. It’s in the way that she bites her lip subconsciously when she’s hesitant or nervous about something. 

“What’s got you dancing in here?” you ask as your eyes take a glance at the redhead’s voluptuous figure. Your eyes quickly flit up to her face though, and her eyes are brighter than usual, and you love the way that her smile meets her eyes.

“Just a good day,” she grins at you. “My cousin lost a bet, so I don’t have to make dinner tomorrow night!”

“Oh?” you raise a brow.

Melissa nods. “So, we’s getting Vin’s hoagies tomorrow. You’re still set to come over, right?”

“You know it,” you chuckle back. “As long as you promise I ain’t gonna get sick off ‘em.”

“You won’t. Half those reviews are full of shit.”

-

She doesn’t look thrilled coming into the break room for lunch today. Her eyes are dull, and there just isn’t the same pep in her step that there usually is when she sees you. She sits down quietly at her designated seat, keeping her head down and her mouth shut. She hardly touches her lunch that day.

“What’s got you down, Red?”

“I’m fine,” Melissa blinks quickly a few times. She tries to bring back the sparkle 

in her eyes, but it’s lacking. And it’s still lacking come the end of the day when the two of you walk out together.

“C’mon,” you say softly. “Tell me what’s going through that pretty head of yours.”

She sighs. “I think I have to break it off with Gare.”

“Oh?” you raise a brow as you adjust the strap to your backpack.

“It’s just not working out anymore,” she says quietly. “He wants more than I can give him now, and maybe ever.”

You reach out and take her hand gently. “I’m here if you need support.”

“Thanks,” she says through a sad smile as she squeezes your handle gently before dropping it.

——

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep, she tastes like apple juice and peach.

Your phone rings to life at the ripe hour of one in the morning. There is your favorite coworker’s smiling face; and with you knowing what she was going to do earlier in the evening, you answer.

“Mel?” you ask, trying not sound as though you weren’t just in one of the deepest slumbers of your life.

“Please… come over.”

“Are you okay?” you ask her softly as you pull the covers back and slip on the sneakers by your bed.

You hear her sniffle. “Not really… no.”

“I’ll be there in ten,” you promise her.

And you are. Without the hustle and bustle of the city to detour you, you’re able to pull up to her townhouse in just seven minutes. When she opens the door, you can immediately smell the scent of lemongrass that is coming from the diffuser over in the corner, and she looks exhausted- as if she’s just woken up herself. But she’s also holding a glass of wine, so you really don’t know what you’re walking into. 

“Mel?”

“I- I thought I was fine. I was drinking some of the apple wine that you know I like and I dozed off on the couch. When I woke up… it hit me that I’m- I’m single again,” she whispers. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“Okay,” you reply just as softly as her. “That’s okay. I’m here to keep you company.”

She nods as you reach for the bottle of peach wine that she keeps for you at her house. After she’s finished off the apple wine, she pours herself a glass of the peach.

The two of you begin to spend much more time together now that she doesn’t have to go out with Gary for dinners and for various events that his company would invite him to.

——

Oh you would find her in a polaroid picture.

Since her breakup with Gary, you and Melissa have been joined at the hip. It makes her feel less lonely, and you don’t mind being able to spend time with the woman that you’ve realized is essentially the woman of your dreams.

The two of you are currently out thrift shopping when you come across an old polaroid camera. You pick it up with wonder in your eyes. Melissa comes up behind you with a smile dancing across her lips.

“You should get it,” she says quietly. “It’s cheap, and it’s definitely vintage at this point.”

One of the people working there sees that you’re interested in the device and makes her way over. “It’s got a roll in there too. Works nice. We tried it out when it got here.”

You grin, keeping it in your hands. When the two of you leave the store, the camera stays safely nestled around your neck. 

It’s a rather sunny day out, so the redhead has her sunglasses on and looks like she’s practically glowing. Without her noticing, because she’s walking across the street, you snap a picture of her. The Polaroid comes out, and you dry it quickly as you catch up with her before looking at it. 

Yeah, she belongs in that polaroid picture. When you show it to her, she rolls her eyes. But then she gestures for you to take another. You hold the camera up to your eye, and she rolls those striking green eyes again.

“With you in it, ya goof,” she instructs.

Your lips form into a small ‘O’ before you take it off your neck and face the lens so that you’re both hopefully in the frame. She playfully pretends as if she’s kissing your cheek when you do snap the photo. The film comes out, you dry it, and when you look at it… wow. Your heart swells, and she looks at it in approval as well. 

It stays on your fridge. 

——

She means everything to me.

She just does. It’s that simple. She’s Melissa Schmmenti, and you would be a fool for not seeing her for the absolutely goddess-like woman that she is.

——

I’d never tell. No, I’d never say a word. And oh, it aches. But it feels oddly good to hurt.

You would never, ever tell her of the feelings that you’ve developed for her. Not after she’s been so upset about breaking it up with Gary. Besides, you know she says things like ‘decisive women are hot’ but what does that really mean in the grand scheme of it all? And even if she was attracted to women, who’s to say she’s attracted to you- that you’re her type at all?

And somehow, you’re okay with not telling her of your feelings. Because at least you’re lucky enough to have the woman in your life. If you were to confess your feelings and then she was never into you, it would crush you. You wouldn’t want to lose her forever. So, you hurt in silence. And it feels oddly good to hurt over this one- because at least she’s there.

——

And I’ll be okay, admiring from afar, cause even when she’s next to me, we could not be more far apart.

You sit outside of your classroom for your preps most days, responding to emails and grading papers, because you like the change of scenery. It doesn’t hurt that you usually get to see Melissa Schemmenti roaming the halls to chat with her work wife or with any of your coworker friends.

You can always smell her and hear her before you can see her, the lingering scent of lemongrass and clacking of her heeled shoes letting you know that she’s on her way down the hall. When she passes, you smile up at her. She smiles back, giving you a gentle wave, before continuing down the hall towards her classroom.

Sometimes she brings her own things out to work with you- or at least next to you. But you’re still worlds apart. Her single days now consist of going out and staying out to forget about all her problems, while you enjoy the warmth of your home. She tells you about the different people that she meets out at the bars and how they’re good company at the time, but she’s not destroyed when she parts ways with them. You know deep down that you won’t be out at the bars trying to pick anyone else up anytime soon- not as long as your feelings for the redhead are as strong as they are.

——

Cause she tastes like birthday cake, and storytime, and fall. But to her, I taste of nothing at all.

Coworker birthdays usually mean birthday cakes, gatherings, and just enjoying the company of each other. And at the beginning of the school year, your birthday falls on a Saturday. So naturally, you surround yourself with those that you love- your coworkers. Your parents are too far away, you don’t necessarily have friends around here. So, the Abbott crew is at your townhouse, happily sitting outside and enjoying the last of the Summer air with a few beers in hand before the crisp Fall air pushes in.

Melissa had taken it upon herself to make your birthday cake this year, and it’s perfect. It’s absolutely divine, and you can’t help but watch as she eats her own creation. She knows its damn good- you can see her smirk as the others praise her baking. 

As night falls, the cool air sneaks in, and you’re reminded that Fall is just around the corner. And as the moonlight, along with the streetlights out front, light up your backyard, stories begin to come out of times before you had joined the Abbott crew.

Barbara tells you all of how her and Melissa came friends, Mr. Johnson tells stories that you take with a grain of salt but deep down now that there are little bits of truth sprinkled into his tall tales. Melissa lets all of you know that compared to when she started, y’all are soft.

You hang onto her every word, and she looks to you occasionally, but her eyes mostly stay on her work wife as she reminisces about what she claims to be the good ol’ days.

Those tales that haunt the halls of Abbott somehow turn to other stories that don’t revolve around Abbott.

Compared to some of the other people in her life, you realize, you mean nothing to her at all. 

——

And she smells like lemongrass and sleep. She tastes like apple juice and peach. You would find her in a polaroid picture. And she means everything to me. Yes, she means everything to me. She means everything to me.

As your sitting on your couch alone on a Friday night, you stand to get some more wine from the fridge. Hanging on the metal box is that sweet picture of the two of you that you took on your polaroid. The other picture of just her is hanging there as well, as much as she tells you its ridiculous for you to have it hanging there- but you can’t help admiring her beauty. 

Just as your about to sit back down and dig into yet another mindless binge watch of your favorite television show, the doorbell rings.

It’s late, so you don’t answer- pretending to be asleep.

“It’s Mel, and I know you’re still awake,” you hear her voice call.

You make your way over to the door and open it. She looks… well she looks as beautiful as ever with her hair tied up messily and clad in her Eagles apparel, but she also looks beyond exhausted. But she’s here.

“You okay?” you open the door as you invite her in. Her smell lingers as she brushes past you, two bottles of wine in hand.

“I can’t sleep, as much as I tried, and I knew my favorite night owl would still be awake,” she tells you as she settles on your couch. She opens the first bottle- one that has hints of apple. Then she opens the other- a peach wine.

“You brought peach wine?” you raise a brow.

“I know it’s your favorite,” she shrugs. “What are we watching tonight?”

As the night continues on, you stay awake. But her head falls gently on your shoulder as she gives in to her exhaustion and is taken away into a dream- unable to stay awake with you and watch the world pass by in a gentle silence. 

You glance down at her. The frown lines or smile lines that are usually in her face are gone as she’s completely relaxed against you. Her warmth makes your heart swell. And she… she does mean everything to you- even if she’ll never know it. 

[blakeswritingimagines]

Their First Thought About You

Quinn Hughes: You were witty, your intelligence fascinated him, your sense of humor was something he found himself seeking more and more as time went on. Your presence made him feel calm. Seeing you, hearing you laugh, even touching you made him feel complete like you were the last piece of the puzzle of his life.

Jack Hughes: When he heard you speak for the first time... Your voice was like a warm hug. It filled him with such a sense of calm and he could listen to you talk forever. As he continued to get to know you, he began to notice little details about you that he found endearing.

Luke Hughes: He remembers thinking that there was no way that such a stunningly gorgeous person like you was there in the same place as him. He felt like he was in the presence of a goddess or a queen. Your grace, the way you held yourself, your laugh, it all seemed so effortless and flawless. You radiated such a calming aura, that he felt a sense of ease and comfort being around you, like he was being carried away by a wave of calm. He found himself wanting to be near you, to listen to you, to just sit and admire you.

Nico Hischier: His first thought of you when he saw you was that you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Your eyes were like the crystal clear ocean and he felt like he was drowning in the best possible way every time he looked into them.

Timo Meier: His first thought of you when he met you was that you were very cute. You had stunning eyes and you seemed to have a warm aura about you, and he enjoyed that you had the kind of infectious laugh that could light up a room.

John Marino: The first time you spoke to him, he had thought you were so shy and soft-spoken, you were timid and he wasn't sure if you could survive your own shadow. Though as the days went on you blossomed in front of him. Your confidence grew and you began to show him more and more of yourself and he loved every single part of it. You made him happier than he had ever been, he thought at the time that you were just his best friend but as time went on his feelings changed and he knew that you were something much more than just a friend.

Kirby Dach: His first thought was, "How can a person be that stunning?" He was in complete disbelief when he first saw you, you were a literal goddess. He didn't think it was possible that a person like you could ever really exist...and yet, there you were standing in front of him.

Juraj Slafkovsky: He thought you had to be a dream that he would eventually wake up from but then you spoke and your voice was like music to his ears; beautiful, melodic, soothing...it instantly calmed him and made him want to spend the rest of eternity listening to you speak.

Arber Xhekaj: His first thought upon meeting you was that you were unlike anyone else he had ever met before. Your personality was so refreshing, you spoke your mind and weren't afraid to say what you thought. You were so strong and powerful, yet also so sweet and caring. You intrigued him, and he instantly wanted to know more about you.

Cole Caufield: To him, there was something very special about you. You have an energy that makes people pay attention when you speak. When you walked in it was as if the room went quiet, and you stole all of his attention without even asking for it. He wanted to know everything about this person, what makes you laugh, what makes you upset, who you are, and who you want to be. There was just something about you that pulled him in and demanded to know more.

Trevor Zegras: His first thought of you when he spoke to you was how smart you were. You were so articulate and witty, everything you said intrigued him and he couldn't get enough. Everything about you was magnetic and he found himself drawn to you in every way imaginable.

Jamie Drysdale: When he first heard your voice, he was captivated. Your voice had a smooth, melodic quality to it, like a gentle caress against his ears. It was soothing and it made his heart race every time you spoke. Your laugh was especially breathtaking, it was like music to his ears, and every time he heard it he felt his heart skip a beat.

[throwaway-yandere]

ERROR 410: GONE (Yandere Faceless!Kamisato Ayato/Reader)

A/n: thank you for the 5 dollar tip, "anonymous"! I asked them for what they want in exchange and they asked for a fac█le██ ayato fic... Alright then... You did ask for it...

Unreliable synopsis: Your new coworker doesn't seem to be from around here...

It was a cramped night at the bus stop. Except for the elderly, many people had their phones out since it was nearly midnight and nobody had the stamina to engage in conversation. You recently got promoted as a district manager for an international company, and oh, the work is just too exhausting to drone about. However, in this station, it didn't matter if you were an energetic student or an employee. The bus is abnormally later than their usual "lateness", and such a redundant statement elucidates just how shoddy their schedule is. Everyone was simultaneously stressed and drained and each of their war faces screamed that they would selfishly fight for the seat ride home.

All except for one man.

From the moment he arrived, you were peering at him. He had a similar appearance to the character you were "maining" in the video game you were enamored with for approximately two years. Though you seriously doubt he was in cosplay, he and that favorite of yours look eerily identical. His long-sleeved black coat and simple white turtleneck blend in with modern fashion fairly, save for his elaborate light blue hair, which was organically unkempt and not at all synthetic. His keen eyes led you to believe that he is from an Eastern lineage, most likely Japanese, but you didn't want to make any unfounded assumptions. Because it's simply impossible for someone to cosplay at this time, you were left silently marveling at the incredible coincidence.

He muttered something to himself, but you did not hear it.

“11:56 PM.”

You had a smidgen of knowledge regarding the bus schedule enough to give yourself a pep talk in the hopes that it would motivate you to give him directions. But no amount of psyching yourself up could have prepared you for when another person walked up to him. She asked the question you had been meaning to ask for the past three minutes, assuming she was a college student. He grinned at the worried girl. 

He was stunningly gorgeous when he smiled.

Wholly unfair how he exudes an aura of elegance whilst wearing normal clothes while you look like a sloppy burrito wrapped by a beige shawl this dead of night.

“Oh, no, no. I am not at all lost. I’m simply looking for someone.”

Everyone was fairly sure that person would never arrive, but he stayed roving around the room, pacing back and forth as if the person he was looking for will arrive the next minute. Whoever it was, you were starting to get angry on his behalf. Who would leave such an attractive man waiting? It was improper. 

But to be honest, you have already admitted to yourself that your life is quite dull— so you’re aware that this nonsensical drama you had over this imaginary person stemmed from boredom.

Out of the blue, he fixed his gaze on you.

The stranger’s eyes softened. The simmering panic in his expression vanished in an instant the moment he saw your face, and his mouth gaped open for a short while before he sauntered forward, ignoring the student who awkwardly shuffled back to her waiting spot.

You immediately felt small, upright, and astoundingly nervous. Not ready to be accosted by anyone at all.

“There you are…” He gave you that smile again. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Mx. (Y/n).”

You scanned the area before jabbing your finger at your chest. He nodded as if you were being ridiculous to consider that it may be someone else.

Ah, so the lookalike was waiting for you. 

You were mentally fighting yourself.

“I’m ███████ █████,” he said in a gentle tone— not at all reflecting the stressed out look he sported a moment before. “— The new product manager. I’m an incredibly recent hire, so please do not feel bad for not recognizing my face.”

That wasn’t the reason why your eyebrows were knitted, though. It’s because you DO recognize his face, but you doubt he’d take you for a reasonable person should you start pointing out his physical similarities with a fictional character.

███████ █████, huh? His full name is a bit average-sounding. Sounds like something you may have read on an early 2000s Weaboo forum on "What would your Japanese name be?" which lists down dates, birth months, and the first letter of a person's first name. However, it wasn’t entirely unbelievable— you just chalked him up as an unfortunate kid whose parents were eager to give their son the name "John Doe" when given the chance.

“It’s nice to meet you, Mister █████.”

“P-Please,” he shook his head. “Let’s drop the formalities. We shall work alongside together officially tomorrow. I would like for us to talk more casually if you would not mind.”

His vocabulary was painfully filled with constrictive pleasantries for someone who seemed to be eager to have a casually cordial relationship with you. Since a product manager and a district manager have roughly equal levels of authority in your company, his desire for friendship isn't too shocking.

Yet, you can’t help but stare… It’s still so strange how he also has a mole right underneath his lip.

He looks just like Kamisato Ayato from Genshin Impact, but not for long.

At first, you envied █████’s youthful glow and wanted it for yourself, but upon learning that he will replace Mister Blaiddyd, you mentally prayed that he wouldn’t lose his mind from stress like his predecessor. That’s how stressful being a product manager is. Give him two months and he’d probably start ruining his coiffed hair during crunch times.

“Understood,” your eyes darted back to the bus station, which remained regrettably devoid of any vehicle. You were starting to consider taking a taxi to avoid this awkward conversation but there’s not a single one in sight. “Since you’ve mentioned that you were trying to find me, might I ask why that is, exactly?”

“Ah, yes,” he instinctively adjusted his collar. His sharp and sophisticated face never averted away from you. “You see— Miss Goneril had informed me that I should approach you if I had any concerns about work.”

Ahh… Hilda…

His future plight still doesn’t change how annoying this situation is. Can’t believe you’re already assigned to helping a newbie out as soon as you got your promotion. She’s planning to milk your kindness dry this month, isn’t she? Despite being your best work friend, Hilda doesn’t have to be unkind to someone to exploit them. But you suppose you wouldn’t mind too much, given how he doesn’t look half-bad. Call it vain, call it a “coping mechanism”, but there wouldn’t be any shame on your end to teach a new attractive coworker the ropes of your job. 

You'll treat him nicely. As the good Samaritan you are, maybe you'll also ask him to give up while he's ahead for good measure.

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind helping you out—”

“I'm most grateful!”

“—but it is VERY late.”

You took a quick look at your phone. 11:53 PM—and there were three messages from Miss Goneril confirming that █████ is the new hire. Since Hilda never filtered her remarks when it came to... aesthetically pleasing people, you instantly pocketed your phone. It was a grave oversight on your end that Hilda found out earlier that you weren't paying attention to her babbling earlier. You wouldn't get such a long message on how "hot" █████'s mole was if you were a better pretender. Her thirst was kind of unsettling.

Ah, whatever. You’ll just delete it later.

You held back a yawn, “where’s your stop?”

“███ ███████.”

“Ah, that’s where I drop off too.”

Additionally, it is the bus's final stop, so you would have to spend a lot more time with him. Great. You hoped he wouldn't try to strike up a conversation with some small talk.

He placed his hand on his chin. Now that he’s up close, you realized just how long his sleeves were. The silhouette nearly reminded you of Kamisato Ayato once more. █████ nodded with a half-teasing smile.

“Oh, not to worry, I know.”

Hilda must have told him right away. You secretly hoped that the main reason she paired you two up was because of your shared destination so you could applaud her wise decision-making skills, but you knew better. Once more, Hilda is attempting to match you with someone.

You cleared your throat, “well then, you better prepare yourself with some sleepless nights because the buses around here don’t come around plenty. You’d have to stand most of the time—”

He muttered something again, “three minutes left.”

“Hmm?”

“Ah, no, it’s nothing. I’ve recently moved here so please do continue explaining.”

“… Right.” You sighed, “do you live in ██████████?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’d go in opposite directions. I live in █████ so this is the only bus we share.”

“Unfortunately.”

That almost made you snort. Unfortunately? It's not at all unfortunate, though. During these hours, you rarely feel socially motivated to communicate, and you just know deep down that once he starts working, you'll find a method to board buses separately from him.

“If it’s alright for me to quickly digress— may I trouble you with something, (Y/n)?”

“Sure.”

“May I take a picture with you?” █████ asked. “I want to upload it in my Instagram Story to show my friends and family that I’m faring well. They’ve been insistent that I should make friends on my first day of work— even when based on technicalities, this doesn’t qualify as my first day.”

He must be the eldest and the breadwinner of the ████████ family. That's admirable. Working with someone like him is not a problem for you. They constantly know how to get the job done.

“I don’t mind,” you said, slightly nervous. “But can you not add any weird stuff?”

“Weird stuff?”

“Like, maybe a “my new coworker is ugly” or something like that.”

“W-What?!” █████ jolted. “I would never do such a thing! Especially towards you, my bel—”

“R-Relax, that was just a joke.” Not really. “Is it okay if I don’t take my face mask off?”

“… Of course, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Great.”

█████ scooted closer to you, placing his phone up and angling it in the direction that mostly showed your face. It’s as if he didn’t want his face to be seen, but with a handsome face like that? You’re highly doubtful that is the case. His hands were trembling. The poor man must’ve been incredibly sleep deprived and running on coffee like you.

Unwittingly, you placed your hand above his to steady his phone and you heard him gasp softly. You quickly withdrew your hand away as though you touched a hot kettle when its anything but warm.

His hands were cold, it almost didn’t feel human.

“Oh— sorry!” You shrugged, cringing. “I didn’t mean to—”

“N-No, it’s fine!” He chuckled nervously. “If anything, I should be the one apologizing. I have been told that I am terrible at using a Kamera.”

Why does he say “camera” with a hard “K”? You’ve never heard anyone else pronounce it in that way. Possibly a local accent. It was tempting to ask where he’s from but perhaps that topic would be better brought up some other time. Asking that question might just make him miss his family more, and his parents might be wide-awake right now anticipating any form of reassurance that their child is doing fine.

“Then allow me to take the pic for us.”

He smiled eagerly, “I would greatly appreciate that.”

█████ handed you his phone. You set it up at the same angle he had originally intended, although this time his phone's screen displayed both your faces more clearly. Although you made an effort to contain your emotions, you couldn't help but be overwhelmed by how much he resembles Kamisato Ayato. You mentally readied yourself for the possibility that you would feel his breath on your neck, but you didn't feel him breathe. That doesn’t make you feel untouched, however, since he rested his hand on your shoulder to pull you close enough for the picture.

Is he holding his breath?

“Stay still,” he commanded.

You clenched your fist, trying hard NOT to think about how close his voice is to Chris Hackney’s.

After you pressed the shutter button at least three times, you opened the pictures you’ve taken.

He really does have a beautiful smile.

“Is there something wrong with my face…?”

“Hmm? N-No,” you sputtered out. “I just thought it was a good pic.”

“I’m glad,” he laughed heartily. “I’m still getting used to this face after all.”

… Huh.

Maybe you lack sleep, but the photos remind you of those AI-generated photos on social media— the stolen ones that artists rightfully plead credit for. Maybe you just find him excessively gorgeous because he reminded you of a fictional character you were familiar with, but his appearance somehow seems otherworldly…

“11:55, one minute left.” He muttered again as he crooned above your neck, gazing at his phone.

“For what?”

█████ laughed heartily. 

“For the bus, of course!”

You raised an eyebrow. The station was incredibly empty. You genuinely can’t tell who would lie to him about that.

“Sorry, █████, I don’t know who told you that but there’s genuinely no pattern as to when the bus arrives here. That’s fake news—”

“██████████!!! ██████████!!!”

You immediately snap your neck at the sound of the bus conductor.

“H-Huh?” Your eyes widened.

█████ wore a smug smile on his face as he watched you stare at his phone in disbelief. He was correct; the time was 11:56 pm. But before he had time to gloat and act “mysterious”, you snatched his cold hand and sprinted for the seats— apologizing to the college student you bumped into along the way.

No way in hell you’re going to wait for the next bus.

“We need to go! Now!!!”

You woke up the next day feeling more tired than the previous morning.

Tuesday means that you will inevitably have to work today. You woke up before your alarm, but instead of being a responsible adult and opening up a parcel of bread with hot coffee on the side, you rolled on your bed to whisk your charged phone from the nightstand. You received notifications from several social media apps and a work email from Mister Gautier, but you'd prefer not to startle yourself by hearing one of your subordinate's absurd justifications for being absent. Instead, you launched the Instagram app that you reluctantly installed because of Hilda.

The picture you took together with █████ is still up on his Story.

The image is just as you recall it. You might even say that your opinion of his appearance significantly increased after a good night's sleep. How did you manage to converse with your new coworker last night without turning into a stammering wreck when he is THIS drop-dead gorgeous? You're confident the picture wasn't edited in any way. After all, you saw him upload it directly to his phone's social media account because you wanted to make sure he wouldn't add any odd captions. Congrats to █████ for being incredibly photogenic. He genuinely looks like an AI-generated person with how flawless he appeared. You would have told Hilda straight away that whatever she was swooning over had to be some kind of catfish if you hadn't met him—

You squinted.

…

“Wait a second.”

You looked closely at his hand which rested on top of your shoulder.

“… Are those six fingers?”

That can’t be right.

Sure, he does look like an AI-generated person in the flesh but six fingers? Absurd. It’s probably due to the horrible lighting.

You can’t zoom in on a story, so you took a screenshot but—

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

“Shit.”

You had no time to spare. Hastily, you rolled out, tossed your phone on the bed, and staggered to the restroom. You had to go as soon as possible since you have a meeting this morning. At this rate, soldiers who lived ration by ration likely had a healthier diet than you– but your boss is the embodiment of evil.

You’ll just have to look at the image later.

“Bad morning?”

“Oh, nice to see you here, █████.”

█████ grinned, pointing at the chair beside you, “would you mind if I sit?”

You smiled politely, “I don’t own this place, you know?”

He chuckled, “fair enough.”

It's 4:07 PM. Even though one of your team members arrived later than expected, you eventually built momentum and finished the presentation on a high note. Working with Mr. Gautier is such a headache. Thankfully, district managers have to go out in the field, so before you know it, you've excused yourself to eat lunch at your preferred café. The barely-melted coffee powder you had at home wasn't going to help you get through the day like your favorite cup here. Your cup was no longer a "morning joe", but better late than never.

█████ sank on the cafe’s chair, inhaling the aroma of the rich coffee you ordered. You assumed yet again that it was Miss Goneril’s atrocious wingman skills that led him to this place. His shoulders relaxed a bit afterward as he eyed your cup.

“I do wonder what real coffee tastes like…” █████ mumbled.

You'd give it to him, but you're stressed out—probably more so than he is, given that your supervisor basically holds his hand around the office like a newborn child. The gravity of the problems you carry as a District Manager is nothing to laugh at, either. It’s just a matter of getting used to it.

“Looking already stressed on your official first day, hmm?” You teased before you sipped your cup, pretending you don’t feel his jealous eyes. “Is being a Project Manager not what you had expected?”

█████ shook his head, scoffing with a lopsided grin.

“Oh no, I used to have bigger workloads. I’m only behaving this way since I’m not used to moving this face often.”

This face, huh? What a unique yet expected phrasing. After all, he is so attractive that it wouldn't surprise you if he thought of his face as a separate entity that must be maintained. █████ must be the type of person who cares an awful lot for skin care and self-love. Good for him, good for him.

“Never worked in retail before?” You tilted your head. “Never practiced your customer service smile?”

“In a way, yes,” he chuckled. “I am more accustomed to working behind the scenes since my younger sister takes most of the spotlight in the commi— our family business.”

█████ sure laughs a lot.

“Ah, is she something of an entertainer?” You teased. Knowing a thing or two about other people’s younger siblings, you anticipated some messy anecdotes which served to amplify your opinions on how chaotic having siblings is.

“No. On the contrary, she’s incredibly reserved and poised.”

“Then I bet there’s just something charismatic about her— is she the artistic type?”

“She is. Our family’s beloved princess is quite skilled in the art of dancing and calligraphy. You ought to watch her perform someday.”

You made an effort not to grin foolishly as humiliating thoughts ran rampant inside your head. His sister sounds like Ayaka already. How surreal would it be if you opened up your phone and did your Daily Commissions in front of him—

Oh, right! Your phone— that screenshot!

You ferreted your phone out of your bag, side-eyeing him each time you failed to find it inside its mini-pockets. █████ kept smiling as you busied yourself in hopes you’d locate your phone sooner. To fill in the dead air (and to avoid getting uncomfortable knowing that a man was keeping a close eye on you), you got right onto the meat of the subject by asking questions.

“Hey— I know this is weird, but can I see your hands?”

█████ didn’t respond for a while, lost in a trance before you lightly waved at his face. His soft gaze broke as he blinked fast multiple times.

“My… hands? Alright.”

He pulled his long sleeves— which iconically trailed longer than any other coat in the company— to smoothly show off his slender fingers. █████ glanced at his wristwatch in the process. 4:09 PM. Just one minute more.

Meanwhile, you flinched. He clearly had five fingers in each hand. The normal amount. You didn’t know what exactly you were expecting.

“Hah, I’m definitely sleep deprived,” you spoke humorously. “When I checked our picture this morning I swear I saw six fingers.”

He didn’t laugh. Slowly, he closed his eyes, unamused.

“You’re wrong.” 

█████’s voice dipped low.

You never realized how warm his servile gazes were until he starts looking at you with a cold glare.

You felt your spine tremble as you took note of how he crossed his arms. What’s with this sudden shift in atmosphere? Shouldn’t he laugh at how strange your question was instead?

Why did he sound so offended?

Due to the nature of his tone, you sputtered out an excuse to bring back the light conversation you had before, “must’ve been because its dark— here hold on I took a screenshot of it.”

You opened your gallery, not bothering to scroll deep into it since it should be a recent photo. Yet, you paused, and frantically swiped up and down. You expected that screenshot to be the first image that greets you upon opening the app, but you only saw an entirely black PNG file. Why on earth did that screenshot turn void? You tried searching but you only found recent scans from the last week’s meetings and some “candid” selfies Hilda most likely snapped for herself. 

This makes no sense whatsoever! You swore you took the screenshot earlier and there was no notification that it failed to save it.

“█████” smirked.

11:56 PM M: (Y/n) waits at the bus station.

02:33 AM T: (Y/n) arrives home.

8:01 AM T: (Y/n) has a meeting.

4:10 PM T: (Y/n) looks at their phone at Cafe █████.

4:10 PM. GONE.

You’re so adorable when you have your phone close to your face with your eyebrows knitted like that… Oh, his dear beloved, you nearly got him…

It’s such a shame that he knows your phone like the back of his palm.

“Is something the matter, (Y/n)?”

Kamisato Ayato chuckled behind his sleeve.

You wouldn’t meet his eye, “I was pretty certain I took a screenshot of it this morning, this is so strange…”

Quickly, you opened Instagram to check “█████”’s Story, but the image was missing as well. Since Stories only expire after 24 hours, and it has only been a little over half that time since it was posted, it shouldn't have disappeared. Your eyes remained glued to your phone, unbeknownst to the sinister smile your coworker wore amidst your defeated state.

“Say, did you remove your Stor—”

“Here.”

“█████” slid his phone onto the table.

You picked it up. It’s the picture you two had at the station. You zoomed in on his hand.

Five fingers.

“… Yeah, it’s definitely five,” you whimpered almost inaudibly. “Here I thought I could show you something funny. Damn. I’m really sleep-deprived.”

“I know, you sleep at around 2:30 after all.”

“Yeah—”

You took a breath and then shook your head. There is no need to be skeptical about that statement; it's simple arithmetic. He reportedly knows a lot about accounting, thus he most likely estimated the length of your ride home as if it were a no-brainer. You gave him a wary smile. He's a lot more calculating than you first thought; he even picked up that you were looking for the photo you took the night before without your having to tell him.

Doing what needed to be done without being asked…

“█████” swiftly took his phone back.

“Now then, would you care to enlighten me as to what tastes good on this cafe’s menu?”

You smiled.

Yeah. You think you’ll get along with the new Project Manager just fine.

“Why, it’ll be my pleasure! First off, the frappe here is not that bad…”

[sprintingowl]

TTRPGs As Terrariums For Blorbos

One thing that I think isn't covered enough in TTRPG recommendations is styles of play.

There's a lot of "this game has this tone," or "this game is this amount of crunchy," but less "what are you playing towards?"

In games like Microscope and I'm Sorry Did You Say Street Magic? and The Quiet Year, you're playing to see what happens to the setting.

In games like Mork Borg and Into The Odd and Mothership, you're playing to see how far your character can get.

And in a lot of games, you're playing to create a blorbo, an OC, just a little guy, and the soul of the gameplay is the story of who your guy is and who your guy becomes.

This is blorbo style play.

And the thing about styles of play is that you can apply them to any game, even games that aren't really built to enable them. So I wanted to take a moment to shine a spotlight onto some games that do specifically enable you to fully blorb out. (I'll try to cover a mix of genres and tones, but the rpg scene is vast so if you have a favorite that I missed please feel free to shout it out in the replies.)

-Golden Sky Stories. This is the English translation of the Japanese TTRPG Yuuyake Koyake. You play as shapeshifter kids and spirits in a small town and, instead of tracking EXP, the thing that you carry from session to session is your relationships with other characters. The tone of the game is heartwarming, and if combat happens, both sides lose. There can be emotional turmoil, but this isn't a game where you have to worry about bad things happening to your blorbo.

-New World Of Darkness. On the other hand, let's say you *want* bad things to happen to your blorbo. You want to play a guy that's really going through it. If you also like modern supernatural stories, New World Of Darkness was built for you. Characters in NWoD can be entirely non-combat, or a literal werewolf, or a noncombat werewolf. The game places a lot of emphasis on navigating through the setting socially, as its supernatural creatures tend to run in factions and starting a fight usually means making a bunch of enemies.

-Pasion De Las Pasiones. Of course, not everyone wants a fantastical setting. Sometimes good old melodrama is hearty and comforting. Pasion De Las Pasiones is a playable telenovela, and it encourages you to play your characters bold and recklessly. Every class even has a built-in Meltdown, where if you're pushed to the edge they become extra reckless, ensuring a broad fallout of messy drama when they do manage to calm down.

-Cortex System / Unisystem. Perhaps you want to drop your blorbo into an existing fictional universe? But you also want stats and meaty character creation instead of just freeform roleplay? There are easily a dozen games on the Cortex engine, including Supernatural, Firefly, Smallville, Battlestar Galactica, Marvel, and Leverage. And on Unisystem, there's Buffy, Army Of Darkness, as well as a somewhat rare I Can't Believe It's Not Planet Of The Apes.

-Lancer / Gubat Banwa. If you like blorb-y play but still want a heavy side of combat, both of these games have you covered. Lancer has a sprawling scifi universe focused on mech pilots, and Gubat Banwa has a violent and lavish mythological Philippines setting. Both of these games also have stunningly beautiful artwork, so if you like seeing a setting visually come to life, these are for you.

-Fabula Ultima. My final recommendation is also an extremely gorgeous looking game. Fabula Ultima is built on the bones of Ryuutama (itself an excellent travel-fantasy game) to enable meaty, blorby Final Fantasy style campaign play. Combat is a rich and deep option in Fabula Ultima, but so is everything from spellcasting to crafting, and players have built-in resources they can spend to affect the story. If a scene isn't quite going the way you want it to, you can spend a point to nudge it in the right direction. Fabula Ultima also feels extremely complete without being too complicated.

So there you go. Eight options, and that's barely scratching the surface of the sea of blorb-y games (Seventh Sea, Exalted, Blue Rose, Legend Of The Five Rings, Coyote And Crow, Timewatch, Nahual, and more!)

It's also not wrong to play non-blorb-y games in a blorb-y way. Do whatever you're comfortable with! But you might enjoy dipping into these titles.

Finally, if you've read this far and you're somehow still looking for MORE recommendations, I wrote this game about runaway changelings trying to find their place in the world, and it's probably the blorbiest in my catalog.

[cynical-canidae]

Okay, sorry (I'm not at all), but someone was appreciating the outfits of Viktor's commune on Twitter, and it reminded me I just have a whole lot of thoughts.

But I just love love love love them because essentially?? Looks aside (though they are stunningly gorgeous), these outfits—specifically being wrapped in blankets—sort of represent these individuals at their base/"pure" humanity.

But if you think about it, for most people, even in fictional settings/media, a blanket is your very first "outfit." It is your very first armor to brave this big, big world. Then and there at your birth, you are at your absolute most vulnerable. It's you BEFORE all of the wrong of the world (prejudice, disease, harm, death, etc.) has any chance to affect/shape you. From then on, they—this life, this world, this society—all will take every chance they can get to leave its fingerprints all over you. But in that moment, coddled by a blanket, you are a bare canvas of whatever your genes have ordered. Which is why I say "pure/base humanity."

And RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA if this does not perfectly encapsulate the commune's (Viktor's) mindset at this point??

I want to first preface this by saying. No. OBVIOUSLY the commune was not 10000% all good. Loss of self and autonomy and free will are Not good things. 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ (As these things makes us ourselves. Yes, though their bodies move, this is essentially murdering these people.) This is the core principle of which original game Viktor and Jayce disagreed and ultimately separated upon/got Viktor expelled. However, one of the MAIN themes of Arcane is how we can do very horrible things with good intentions. We know that this happens to be Viktor's. Clearly not probably one of the best methods of trying to bring this about, but what I'm saying is that not a single soul can argue that everything/the aftermath was done out of malice/an "evil" plan. TL;DR: No, the commune was not perfect like some people for some reason?? were convinced (looking at all of you with the 🚫 Jayce pfps after Act 2 lol). However, no way can someone genuinely say that it meant Viktor was evil because of all of it. Ok, preface over.

(Also, don't even get me started on the tragedy of how the world made Viktor, a disabled man, believe that the solution was to change himself and not ?? making the world more accommodating/educating people. That's for another time and I'm supposed to be talking about BLANKETS djksfnosfjskm.)

ANYWAYS, like Viktor himself says in Act 2:

"The reason for our failures in the commune. The doctor was right. It's inescapable. Humanity. Our very essence. Our emotions... Rage. Compassion. Hate. Two sides of the same coin. Inextricably bound."

Humanity has a ton of good to offer the world and each other. The commune was born out of Viktor's genuine empathy and desire for people to live free from all of the downsides of the human condition and the things that come with it. The commune was an attempt to separate the good side of the coin from the bad side. Which is why I say that their outfits, simply blankets wrapped around them like their "pure" selves (birth), perfectly encapsulates the commune's/Viktor's mindset at this point in time. He was convinced that he could find a way to have only the good. It also meant everyone was put to the same "level"/showed a sense of equality, which was another thing Viktor was trying to do. (I.E. Uniforms are VERY big in Piltover. Certain clothes mean STATUS. Even Salo, a former councilman, being in the same robes as everyone else is a good example of bringing everyone to the same playing field.)

Also, since I cannot help but note on it. My fellow religious trauma girlies were also very tuned into just how biblical Act 2 was in general (Jesus Viktor jokes, you will always be famous). I could make an entire essay on all of THOSE parallels, but on the topic of clothing: Adam and Eve only adorned "clothes" out of shame/self-consciousness once the biblical version of Pandora's box had been opened, releasing all of the bad (sin) into the world. This point in time of humanity before the apple is exactly akin to what Viktor was trying to achieve. (He even had a damn greenhouse omg like that's literally the Garden of Eden?? 😭😭) So while Fortiche/Riot definitely wouldn't have been able to have the members of the commune all naked without getting bumped up a couple ratings, it definitely makes sense that they would wear/appear as the next thing closest to that. Huzzah!! Blankets!! 🤌🤌

I also very much appreciate it because it makes the transition of Viktor's mindset changing very stark as well, going from "most" human (blanket) to least human (machine). I have been rationalizing these two differing points in my head kinda as:

[Commune/Act 2]

"I must save humanity from the world"

(Mentally, you have to equate bad things to the world if you believe you can have humanity without it)

VS.

[Arcane Herald/Act 3]

"I must save humanity from itself"

(Inarguable, as this is the canonical current state of new game Viktor. Also can be seen like "the world from humanity.")

Anyways, I'm crazy. 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ Thanks for reading.

[shamelesstrekkie13]

Jason Gideon x Reader (fight + smut)

Warnings: smut, +18, a bit of cursing

Summary: Basically Jason says something hurtful to the Reader, and has to beg for her forgiveness.

It’s not my best work but it won’t get any better, so here it is. Constructive criticism always welcome!

The gif isn’t mine!

His head was pounding. The last case had certainly been rough. Child cases were always rough. And so he was in his office, thinking about said case, going over it, again and again. Sure, it had been a happy ending, but a lot of mistakes were made.

Half an hour later, his head felt like it was about to explode. The door to his office opened, and an agent came in. He didn’t even bother looking up before asking a “What?!” quite rudely.

“Love, are you okay? I know child cases are rough, but you look like you need a pick me up.”

Only when he heard her voice did he look up. She was looking stunningly gorgeous, as always. He looked at her for half a second before saying,

“I’m fine, you can go home.”

She very clearly frowned at that. It didn’t make much sense, because he had never treated her that way, nor did he ever tell her to go home without him. He had always been so sweet and touchy with her. To the point that some might call him ‘clingy’, even though she would never. It was their way of loving each other. Their love language was and still is physical touch. She loved him for that.

So she came closer to him, and touched his arm affectionately.

“Are you sure? I can stay if you’d like.” She smiled, with a smile that could light up the whole town. But he didn’t see it, because he wasn’t looking at her.

He pulled away, and for the first time in all the years they had known each other he snapped at her.

“Will you just go home? I need to be alone, and you’re not helping.” She was surprised, to say the least. A little bit offended too, though she couldn’t hold it over his head. Everyone needed some alone time every now and then. That didn’t make the whole situation any less weird.

He usually loved her touch, and now he looked disgusted by it. The way he had pulled away from her, as if her touch was capable of killing him, made no sense to her.

“What’s going on with you? You’re never like this!”

Normally she wouldn’t have gone against his wishes, because as a reasonable and logical person, she could see that needing time alone was a perfectly normal thing. But it was his reaction at her that made her stay. She didn’t want to leave the conversation like that, because then, when she got home, she would definitely overthink this whole thing.

He stood up and hit the table hard, so fast that if she had blinked she would’ve missed it.

“I told you that I need to be alone! God, why are you so fucking clingy?”

And just like that, she felt a thousand new holes in her heart appear. Sure, she had been told before that she was a little too touchy, but he was the only person that loved her being touchy. He was the only one that reciprocated her touch equally. Without him, what did she have in this world?

She took a step back, in shock.

Realising what he had said, he tried to get to her. But she kept her distance.

“Wow. I expected that from a lot of people, but not from you. Never from you.”

He tried to get to her again when he saw her deep, beautiful, full of life eyes filled with tears. He never had wanted to hurt her. She was his everything. He was nothing without her.

And now, his companion, his best friend, his partner, the love of his life was looking at him like he had shattered her heart. And he had.

He stayed still, not wanting her to walk further away.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” He tried to get her to see how much he meant those words. But she didn’t care.

“Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn’t have said that to begin with.” Her voice clearly trembled as she turned around and went for the door.

He got to her first, and grabbed her wrist.

“I promise you I didn’t mean it. Please.” She didn’t know what he was begging for. She just knew that she had to get out of there.

And in her heartbroken state, she couldn’t see how terrified he was of her going away.

“Please, let me go.” She said. He couldn’t. Even if he could, he wouldn’t. He kept his grip on her firm, and when he spoke his voice was trembling.

“I can’t. You’re my everything. I won’t make it out here without you.”

She shook her head. In her mind, if that were true, then he would’ve never put them both in this position to begin with. She also didn’t catch the phrasing when he said he ‘won’t’ make it out. He meant that he had no intention whatsoever of making it out without her. He wouldn’t even try.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, trying to make her remember. Remember how much they loved each other, and how much they needed each other. At least he did. He wiped her tears with his thumb, hating himself for being the cause of her distress and making her think that he didn’t love every single piece of her.

She tried to free herself, before the kiss changed her mind, but his grip was ironclad on her. When he saw that his words didn’t have any effect on her, he fell on his knees. At this point he was desperate. He could feel her slipping away through his fingers, and he was desperate to stop her from leaving.

“Jason. Let me go. I need to be alone.” She was being a little bit petty, because she didn’t say that because she truly needed to be alone, she said it because he had used that excuse on her, right before this mess.

It had the desired effect. He froze, and he saw no choice but to let her go. He wouldn’t force her to be close to him if she didn’t want to.

And so he let her go. In two big strides she was already gone. And he felt more alone than he had ever felt in his whole life.

He knew that he was alone from now on. She finally saw who he was, how old he was, and the fact that as gorgeous, as funny, as smart as she was, she could have whoever she wanted. And he knew that she realised that she didn’t have to settle with him. He knew that it was true, she deserved someone her age, someone just as attractive, just as funny as her. And he knew that wasn’t him.

He wiped the tears that he didn’t know he had streaming down his cheeks. He got up and left the office. He knew that she had all the right in the world to be alone, so he reserved a room at the closest hotel to the Bureau's offices.

He didn’t know that, even as disappointed as she was, being a hopeless romantic, she wanted him to come after her, to throw pebbles at her window screaming “I’m in love with you”. She wanted him at the other side of her door, pledging his undying love for her.

Three full days had gone by without the couple contacting each other. Neither of them slept either nights. He was going crazy. Only now did he realise how truly touch starved he was, and how much he missed her.

After the initial wave of raging emotions had passed, she could think clearly again. She thought about calling him, about trying to work things out. After all, anyone could have a bad day, and she hadn’t exactly listened to him when he had asked her to leave him alone for a while.

The problem is that she felt personally attacked when he had called her ‘clingy’. She was told before that she was too clingy, and that caused her to retreat into herself. She became distant and pushed everyone away for fear of being ‘too much’. It had been a problem since her early teenage years. She didn’t know if it was the bad mood talking or if that was actually what he felt, what he had been feeling for all the time they were together.

After a while she came to the conclusion that that wasn’t possible. She remembered things that she couldn’t remember when she was in front of him. He had initiated touch with her several times. Anytime she touched him he always leaned against her. He loved hugging her, he loved kissing her. He treated her like a queen, and she definitely treated him like a king. It was the treatment he deserved. When they had sex, it was the most magical thing ever, and she knew for a fact that it was the same for him. He had never made any excuses to avoid touching her or to avoid her touch.

That was when the guilt began to appear. She had been most certainly harsh with him. She didn’t take his need for some time alone seriously, and that led to him snapping at her. Which was wrong, but she understood. Mistakes happen. It wasn’t worth throwing away their once in a lifetime relationship. She thought of calling him, but then told herself that something like this should be told in person.

The next morning, when she arrived at the office, he was already there, on his desk. She could see him through the blinds. He looked stunning, but he also looked tired. Very tired.

He had been trying to work for the past two hours, without any success. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, her smile, her sarcastic remarks, her beauty.

Suddenly, the door opened, and she appeared. For a heartbeat he thought that he might’ve been hallucinating. But she was truly there.

He didn’t dare to speak. If they had been married, he was certain she would have been serving the divorce papers by now.

“I think we need to talk,” she said. “Is this a good moment?”

He definitely took notice of the fact that she never had asked that question before. Because he had made it very clear that ‘always’ was the answer for her. And he hated himself for making her think that she had to ask that question.

“Always. It’s always a good moment for you.” He didn’t dare to move, just in case he frightened her, so she was the one that came closer, and sat down on one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“I’m aware that I should’ve respected your desire to be alone, but that doesn’t excuse what you said,” she said. She waited for his reaction, because after that fight she wasn’t sure how he would react.

“You’re right. Even if I wanted to be alone, I never should’ve treated you that way. You deserve better,” he paused, and then realised that most men said that as a way of breaking up, so he continued, “I’m not saying this to break up. I know you deserve better, but I’m too selfish to let you go.” He was surprised to see her smile at that.

“I don’t think this fight is worth throwing our relationship away. I understand that people make mistakes. And I do believe in second chances.” He closed his eyes, while relief overwhelmed him. “I don’t do third chances, though. I admit I’m at fault too, but if you ever use my insecurities against me again I will kick you out of my life.”

He stood up. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I didn’t use your insecurities against you.” She frowned, but before she could say anything, he continued talking. “I said something terrible, but I didn’t say it with your insecurities in mind. I’m not trying to excuse myself, I hate myself for hurting the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I just wanted you to know, I would never do that.”

She understood what he meant. He lashed out at her, but he didn’t call her ‘clingy’ with her insecurity in mind. That made things only a little less worse. And his grovelling was making her feel a little bit better.

She stood up too, walked around the desk until she was right in front of him.

“Again, I know this was partly my fault. But if you ever say anything like that again… I don’t think I’ll be able to continue the relationship.” She wanted to make him understand that while she did admit that she shouldn’t have pressured him, which is what caused him to snap. But he shouldn’t have said the things he said. Ever. And that meant that this was his last chance.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to continue the relationship now, given what that insult means to you…” She was close enough to him that he could kiss her and hug her, but he didn’t know how she would take that. “I’m really glad that you’re able to forgive me, though.”

She was really close to him. And he wanted to kiss her, more than anything he had ever wanted. She was smiling at him, and he thought to himself that he couldn’t wait any longer, and if she had forgiven him then she would probably let him kiss her.

So he did. He leaned towards her and their lips met. It was a sweet, slow kiss. Until she decided she wanted more. She deepened the kiss and suddenly they were straight up making out. Their tongues met, and he relished on her flavour. He couldn’t resist and pushed her gently towards his desk, and laid her down. Kissing her stomach, he unbuttoned her pants and took them off. The door wasn’t even locked, but neither of them wanted to lock it. It made everything more exciting.

He kissed her thighs, licked and even bit them, while she whimpered at his touch, which made him smile. He took his time before kissing her labia, and then sucked it. She started to moan loudly, and so he whispered against her vagina, saying “be quiet, we can’t let everyone know what we’re doing in here.” His whisper turned her even more on than she already was. She felt his breath on her vagina, and she was hot everywhere. She needed his touch everywhere.

By the time he was penetrating her, she was a complete mess. A gorgeous mess in his eyes, but still a mess. The mess that he wanted. And he would never let her go.

She felt just as good as their first time together. People say that after the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over, then everything changes, including sex. That had never happened to them. And he loved that. He loved that she screamed his name just as loud as she did their first time. He loved that he still got red scratches on his back due to her passion.

The moment he penetrated her, her hands went straight to his back, to get ahold of him, while at the same time scratching him. Her nails trailed from up to down his back, with a lot of strength, leaving marks behind.

The way he was filling her up meant that she would orgasm very soon. Especially because he knew what he was doing. He was kissing her neck, sucking and licking, while one of his hands was gripping her thigh with an iron grip, and his other hand was on her clit, which he found effortlessly. Massaging her, his calloused hands on her clit were driving her insane.

In those 20 minutes she came several times, and she came hard. It was mind blowing, like it always was with him.

[v3nusxsky]

Whispers of Seduction

*Authors note~ introducing Larissa Weems to Sinful souls. I wonder what kinks she’ll have ;) also can’t wait to get more into the storyline with the next few instalments smut coming soonnnnn*

Trigger warnings~ more harsh Leonora, shh jealousy is serious persistent Larissa club things overall teasing etc mentions of smut

Tag list

Nevermore continued to flourish and naturally the stress of having an Addams present ensured that the blonde shifter needed a break from being principal. Of course anything too close to the grounds of the school was off limits. As much as the woman deserves her own personal life, it seems most of the parents keep close watch on her time off grounds. Would that stop Larissa Weems from relaxing like she would in England? Absolutely not.

Attending Cambridge University taught Larissa many things, one being that despite her ability she too deserves pleasure. Naturally her dominance radiates in every aspect of her life, so that was how she found herself in a club one night, where the drinks were good and well, where she discovered who she is. In actual fact, Sinful souls looks similar to that club, luring her in with its tasteful, elegant style. The perfect location to unwind and be Larissa and not Principal Weems.

Settling into a booth in the back of the club her eyes instantly landed on you. You were manipulating your body up and down this pole with an unmatched elegance and skill. The six inch heels highlighting your gorgeous toned legs as your skimpy top caressed your beautiful pillowy balls of flesh as they spilled over the cups dark emerald cups. Your chosen song being buttons by the pussycat dolls adding to your addicting performance.

“Girl, I'm a freak, you shouldn't say those things” blared as you spam around the pole, practically seducing everyone watching with just one look with your beautiful irises. To say Larissa was drawn to you would’ve been an understatement. Promiscuous happened to be a regular song that clients asked for you to dance to, that’s why it’s okay fitting it’s the first song Larissa had the pleasure to watch. From there on she was hooked, ordering a tall glass of red as she settled In for the night, eagerly awaiting for Delicate Doll to return to the stage.

Larissa Weems is a stickler for routines which is her reason for returning to Sinful Souls every night after hours of Nevermore Academy, always managing to secure the same seat that provided her the best view of the stage. Of you. You’d had a particularly slow night the first time she tipped you, Slumber Party blaring through the speakers as your audience seemed to be predominantly sapphic allowing you to be a bit more flirtatious in your moves. And when her slender fingers reached up to tuck a twenty into your waist band her cheeks flushed red as you winked at her. You’d noticed her for the past few nights now, always there and always stunningly put together. Alluding dominance and elegance with every sip of the ruby wine.

From there Larissa would always secure private dances with you and only you, always tipping you well above the going rate and always complimenting you and trying to get to know you personally. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t cause your heart to flutter and your stomach to drop at her intense gaze and shy smile whenever she learnt something new about you. She made you feel like the only girl in the room, as if you weren’t a barely clad dancer in her lap, more like you were her lover.

Leonora prided herself on her awareness of the goings on in her club. Therefore, it should’ve been no surprise to you at all that she’d spotted the same blonde with you night after night. You also should have expected her to become colder, more harsh with your training and her comments on such things. See Leonora didn’t know why, but you affected her in this way, and Leonora wouldn’t stand for it. Every beautiful woman that worked their way into her sheets never seemed to compare to you. Often, she’d imagine you instead of them and on the odd occasion she was alone to satisfy her needs, it was your name on her lips, your eyes peering down at her blown pupils as she clenched around the fingers in her pulsing core.

If was you that the raven haired woman wanted on all fours pathetically begging her to make you cum, screaming for her as she tailed you into oblivion with her strap, her hands in your hair as she panted praises in your ear. You giving her the dances in the privacy of her room, for free. Yet, she also craved being the one you wake up next to, the one you smile up at, you being the one attends the club on her arm. Hers. And hers only. Not that pesky blonde woman you are constantly all over. No. You were her doll in her mind. Yet it seemed she now had some competition, and if there’s one thing she’s good at, it’s winning. Little did you know, you were the prize for both women. And little did they know you wanted them both in the most confusing yet beautiful ways.

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#5: You're My Family (S9E05)

✨Top 5!✨ Words can't even fully capture how much I adore this scene right here. 😭 But I'll try. - I am so grateful for it and for Danai for being a big reason why we got this moment. This is such a significant scene, especially because it’s Rick and Michonne’s final exchange of dialogue before Rick’s departure. And what a perfectly fitting, stunningly beautiful way to land their love story until they’re reunited again. The family and true love Rick and Michonne know they found within each other will always move me. And I know this scene is a hallucination, but listen, Michonne said it’s real, so it’s real to me too 😌...

(now if I went all out for my last 25 posts, then for my Top 5...🎵you know that I'm gon' be extra🎵 as we get into the big guns of this countdown. thanks for reading ♡)

I'll always love that Michonne is Rick’s final hallucination in his final full episode. It’s such a confirmation that she truly is home to him.

As I noted in my Reveling in Richonne post on this scene, the final stretch of a journey is often the most draining and challenging to get through, and it’s there when you need to tap into the most powerful source of strength and reflect on what most fuels you to keep going, so, of course, Rick's mind went to the ever-so-important love of his life - Michonne. 

And I love how any time we’ve seen Michonne in Rick’s mind, she's always this glowing, calming, goddess-like presence. No wonder Rick looks at her like she hung the moon and the stars all the time. 😊

It’s sweet seeing that while Rick's mind conjured up all the living people he loves on this bridge, it’s Michonne whom he envisions having a personal moment with. He needs her. And she’s so reassuring when she tells him it’s gonna be okay.

The real Michonne is going to be understandably distraught when she sees Rick bleeding out on this bridge, but here Rick imagined her as the calm, comforting, and life-giving presence she’s always been to him. 

And then it’s powerful for Rick to tell Michonne to take care of tf because he’s again passing the torch. Similar to him telling her she’d have to be the one to lead the others forward in Say Yes, Rick clearly believes so strongly that his people will be in good hands with Michonne as the leader. He knows this because he’s been in good hands with her as his leader. 🥲

And what a testament to Rick's trust and belief in her that he could know that this thing he’s dedicated his life to - protecting his people - is something that Michonne can continue. And as he thinks he's dying, it's like this moment is Rick personally finding solace in that Michonne will continue to hold things together if he doesn't make it.😭

Michonne encourages him, instilling faith that he'll get through this, and I always love the moment where Rick vulnerably says, "I can’t" because he’s always been allowed to be so human with her. I love that she says confidently, "You will, it’s not over," and it's just so believable when she says it.

And then, I have many favorite parts in this one scene, but the following part is particularly special because it is my favorite visual of Rick and Michonne of all time.

Like if you told me I could only ever look at one visual of Richonne again it would be this one right here where Rick and Michonne stare right into each other's souls as her eyes instill this blazing strength in him.

BREATHTAKING. 🤩😍🤗 It’s just beyond powerful and beautiful to me and perfectly illustrates the relationship and depth and strength of these soulmates so well. What this gorgeous power couple gives to each other is one of a kind. And as always, this moment is literally and figuratively magnetic. 🧲

I love that Michonne tells Rick adamantly, "We don’t die" as a motivating rendition of "We’re the ones who live" and a graphic novel nod. And again, when Michonne speaks, you just believe it.

I remember watching this live, unsure if Rick would survive or not, but when she said this I was like alright it is written, my baby Rick doesn’t die, cuz Michonne is always right...

But I also love her saying "we don't die" for its figurative meaning, as truly the love Richonne found with each other is endless and will never die.

And I adore that Rick looks her right in the eyes and nods, hearing and believing her even despite the odds and the pain. All versions of Rick can hear Michonne and allow her words to reach him. 

Then there’s this wonderful moment where Rick is about to exhaustedly hang his head and Michonne lovingly takes his face in her hands to both physically and emotionally lift him up. The movement just feels so symbolic of how she will not let him stay defeated and low. She always lifts him up like only she can.

I get teary over this whole scene, especially because of how powerful it is to see Rick have someone who can hold him up like this even in his toughest moments.

And because Michonne always knows what to say, she then brings the focus back to one of the most motivating, important, and inspiring things in their life - their love. 

When Michonne asks Rick, "You wanna know why I fell in love with you?" in that lovely tender tone, I was gagged then and I'm still gagged now. Like you would think one of us pitched this moment. 😋 It’s just so romantic, and I am forever elated that Rick and Michonne got to directly discuss their incredible love in their final conversation. 

(Also, again, you really can't watch this scene and then be surprised that TOWL is being called an epic love story. I repeat - Richonne's story has always been an epic love story. 😌)

At this moment on this bridge, where Rick needs the ultimate fuel to keep fighting, this is his own mind focusing specifically on the love supreme he found with Michonne - his guiding light, who has kept him going so many times before. Eternally here for it. 🙌🏾🥹

One of the many things that chokes me up about this gorgeous moment is when I stop to think about the start of Rick's TWD journey.

When we were first introduced to Rick he had a wife who wasn't sure if she was still in love with him and caught legitimate feelings for his best friend. And that very best friend ultimately plotted to kill Rick and told him his own family would move on from him because "they've done it before." Like that's so painful.

But then, in the wildest of circumstances - an apocalypse - Rick found a wife and a best friend all in one. He found the ultimate love of his life. He found Michonne - whose love for him runs so deep, so visible, and so certain always.

And where his hallucinations of Lori were more tormenting, here Rick is hallucinating his wife Michonne and envisioning her enveloping him in her consistent and unwavering love that has always meant the world to him.

And as Rick's mind imagines Michonne bringing up their love on this bridge, it's him in the potential final moments of his life also thinking about how honored he is to have loved her and been loved by her. 🥹

So after Michonne asks if he wants to know why she fell in love with him, it is so extremely moving the way Rick intently looks at her with a tear, eager for the answer.

And Michonne stays holding his face up as she tells him with conviction that she fell in love with him, "Because you're a fighter and you never give up." 😭 Exquisite. To see Rick be showered with this love and praise from his true love is just everything and more.

You can really tell that for Rick in this exact moment the only thing he's thinking about is her. Not the pain, not the turmoil, not the past or the future - just his wife's love.

And it's cool because in one of my Reveling in Richonne posts from years ago, I was analyzing that season 4 finale scene with Michonne in the car with Carl while she listened to Rick talk to Daryl outside. And I felt like that scene in the car and their special "Cuz I'm Okay Too' scene were signs that Michonne was falling in love with Rick, especially after Rick showed how far he'd go to protect his son in contrast to her previous partner. This is what I wrote way back then:

"Like she needs someone who won’t give up and she saw firsthand that Rick doesn’t give up, especially when his son is involved. And so I think this is when she starts really thinking of Rick differently."

The fact that years after that post, Michonne straight-up tells Rick she fell in love with him because he’s a fighter who doesn’t give up made me even more confident that my love timeline theory is pretty accurate and that I was on track with my studies in getting a Ph.D. in Richonne. 😂

She fell in love with him way back then. I mean, Danai has even said Michonne has been in love with Rick for a long time. (And I bet if Rick were to tell Michonne when he fell in love with her, it would suggest it was around season 4 as well.)

In this s9 hallucination, I love that Rick gets this uplifting encouragement from the woman he loves and has long been in awe of and that her words so clearly breathe life into him. Michonne has always breathed life into Rick, so it's only fitting that she did it one more time in this series.

And then I really love that she tells Rick, "Fight for me." 🥹 Oh it's perfect. It’s just touching knowing this is Rick’s mind telling him to fight for her. Fight for his wife. Fight for Michonne, the most important person in his life apart from his kids. 💯

I'm willing to bet that during the years that Rick's been taken away from Michonne and Judith, the words "fight for her" likely played in his head often and helped keep him going.

(Side note: This moment and "fight for me" line right here should tell everyone watching that Michonne is in a category of her own to Rick. It shouldn't need to be clarified cuz it's so obvious. But for anyone that still needed clarification, I love that TWD & TOWL promo has set the record straight (time & time again, amen) that Rick's wife and kid(s) are his ultimate choice. As I've noted before, one thing I've long known and long-loved about that man Rick Grimes is he gon' make it about Michonne every time and make sure everybody else knows what we've known for years - His wife and his kids are his everything. I'm not against a reunion with some of team family eventually, especially a reunion with Daryl after he watched over Richonne's kids - but I also just know viewers demanding to see all these different friends (and even enemies 😪) on screen with Rick again does not automatically mean Rick needs it. Within the actual story that we've been watching of Rick Grimes since the pilot episode of TWD, we can be confident that reuniting with his immediate family - Michonne, Judith, and RJ to be clear - will take precedence. As TWD has said, reuniting with each other is the only goal - as it should be when a man's been taken from his wife and kid(s). 👌🏽 While I haven't seen TOWL yet {which ahhh we're so close 🤗}, I've been quite positive for literal years that while Rick's been away, he's felt like all he is anymore is a man looking for his wife and child...And anyone who has got in the way of that is gonna lose.)

Rick knows that despite the pain and exhaustion on this bridge he has to keep fighting for the love of his life. And it makes so much sense why Michonne would fall in love with the fighter within him.

And then Michonne says, "Fight for all of us," because team family is of course important to them too. It's just Rick is a whipped man, see, and so even here there's this subtle aspect where Rick is staring straight at Michonne and really only looks to the side once Michonne turns to face the others. 😋

But then, as Rick does best, he puts his attention right back on Michonne and just warms my heart completely when he looks at her and says, “You’re my family. I found you.” Gospel truth and Utter Perfection. 😭

I adore how s9 Rick was just so vocal about his reverence and love for Michonne every chance he got, even in hallucinations. 🤩 And it is so sweet that in his final exchange with Michonne, and really his final dialogue with anyone, Rick gets to look at her and cherish finding family through her.

And with what a family man Rick is and has been since season 1, it is truly the greatest treasure in the world that, even after losing all his family from before the apocalypse, he still found a genuine family that became his life's fuel.

I love the way Rick places a hand on Michonne's shoulder to really emphasize that he found family in her.

It is so great that in this 9.05 episode where Rick is repeatedly talking about needing to find his family, his mission since s1, we get this lovely declaration that Michonne is so much of who he was always looking for. 🥹

And what a beautiful way he found her both in their actual life journey and in his mind’s mental journey this ep. 

Michonne’s tear as she smiles and again affirms him and says, "You did." Just beautiful and melts my heart.

Andy and Danai did a masterful job depicting the immense love Rick and Michonne have for each other in this scene. They always have, and of course, their final scene delivered on another level. 👏🏽👑

Truly this has been a stunning love story from the moment they laid eyes on each other in season 3 all the way to this s9 moment here (+ their s11 finale moment) - and now beyond as we look forward to Richonne's story continuing. 🤩🙌🏾

It’s heartbreaking that after a moment of such love and warmth, Rick then has to acknowledge that this exchange isn't actually happening in real life. He says, "But this isn't real", and then I will forever love that Michonne assuredly says, "Yes it is." 👏🏽

It is real. What they found with each other is real. The abundant love emitted between them in this scene is real. I feel like had Michonne actually been able to get to him on this bridge, the exchange could have gone similar to this (but like a lil more frantic probably cuz she'd be anxious to get him some medical help) But in many ways how Rick is picturing their love playing out here is so real and accurate.

So I love that Michonne got to confirm that the love and family she and Rick found in each other is real in any dimension. Since this is all in Rick's mind, it's like this is his mind also deciding that everything in this moment is real and something he has to fight for when he wakes up.

Then Rick and Michonne seal the moment with their precious final kiss within the TWD series and it's another perfect example of true love's kiss. Y'all this really is a love story for the ages and I’ll never stop shouting that from the rooftops. It’s beautiful. 🥰

It's fitting for Rick to imagine her kissing him and breathing life into him one more time because 🎵these are a few of his favorite things🎵. And if he's dying then Michonne's love is what his mind wants to remember before he goes.

(Also I wish the real Michonne got to know that on this bridge Rick was imagining her empowering him and kissing him one last time. 😭)

Finally, Michonne tells Rick to wake up, and the resilient king does as she wishes, notably without knocking out like he did the other times he hallucinated people, which to me is a nice subtle way to suggest there was something more real about Richonne's exchange than his previous hallucinations.

This scene is just gorgeous and touching and emotional and a lovely ode to what makes Richonne so special. We really are spoiled cuz we’re fed with gourmet content in each and every scene. And this scene was a feast and the perfect exchange to close out Richonne on the show. #I'mGrateful

Had this moment legitimately been their last exchange ever it would have done Richonne justice. Fortunately, though, we've finally arrived at a point where this won't be the last exchange between them. 🥳🙌🏽 Soon, this 9.05 scene will have to be referred to as Rick and Michonne's 'final convo in TWD,' because more Richonne content is coming. And this is why...

In this Top 5 moment from Rick's last full TWD ep (where Andy and Danai gave a masterclass in each scene they had both together and apart 👏🏽) I adore that this final intimate exchange between them served as a reminder that Rick and Michonne fell in love, that they don’t die, and that what they found in each other is a beautiful family that is forever real and everlasting. The ultimate win.

I will always celebrate that Rick and Michonne found the truest family in each other and that they will soon find each other again. 😌

[del-stars]

Now I’m curious. Which current nepo-baby would match with the marauders?

i believe this ask is inspired by this post from @s3raphinaa !!

based purely on vibes and things that celebrity said one time:

stretching the definition of current to say that sirius black is y2k paris hilton/kim k. just famous for no particular reason and proud of it. people ask him why he's famous and he'll say something along the lines of i'm pretty, everyone wants to be me, etc. etc. he definitely also leaked his own sex tape

james gives me lily-rose depp vibes very specifically for that quote where she's like 'i actually work really hard so calling me a nepo baby is really unfair.' just positively tone-deaf. he definitely does something with his nepotism like acting or music, but he's just far too out of touch to realise that it's because his parents are globally famous

for no particular reason i am saying remus is maya hawke. does pretty decent for himself, definitely booked and busy. like he's trying to make his own money so he is clocked in, but definitely recognises/acknowledges that a lot of his opportunities are due to nepotism

peter is clairo. for the reaction that i'm sure some people just had: what, she's a nepo baby? peter is a grand-slam indie bedroom pop artist, captures the feeling of being the isolated, awkward kid in a way that the internet just devours, but yes, his dad owns top golf

marlene is zoe kravitz. daughter of two really fucking cool parents who ended up also being really fucking cool in her own right. definite trendsetter, fashion icon, and stunningly gorgeous but that's just my opinion

lily and her sister are elle and dakota fanning, that sort of sibling nepotism. petunia gets famous as a child actor, when lily is much younger, and then lily grows up and eventually becomes more beloved than her. you see the parallels here

regulus. regulus is bella hadid. definitely got where he is because of his head start in life, but also really good at what he does, and also we are all so sorry about your mom. the constant comparisons to his sibling, their distance in the public eye, and the superseding parental fame by just staying booked and being iconic.

pandora and evan are willow and jaden. i dont know if i need to explain this at length, they just are. crazily famous parents, but they strike out on their own and do a little bit of everything

barty is hailey bieber very specifically when she wore that 'nepo baby' t-shirt, but it goes over much better when he does it. just does not give a fuck. yes, he's a nepo baby, he only sort-of works, but he's definitely got his own very intense fanbase

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest - Vol 17

Hello darlings!

It was another big week - 24 fics! I should really start sleeping at night instead of reading until 3 am.... oh well. Enjoy the fruits of my sleep disorder!

You can find the Spreadsheet in all it's organizational glory here and all of my previous recommendations here.

Recommendations below the pedro meme (created by @gasolinerainbowpuddles)

Ravish -a Joel series by @psychedelic-ink

I've read a few like... cam girl/chat service/sex work type AUs and I have to say this is one of my favorites. I really really love the little Dieter cameos. And a little birdie (the literal author) told me he may be making an appearance in a future installment??? I am so excited ugh. Joel is like... stunningly hot in this despite being the kind of guy that falls in love with a cam girl. Yummy yummy

Seven minutes in heaven (the bathroom) -a Frankie one shot by @tieronecrush

A fun twist on the bathroom quickie trope. Frankie is so filthy in this fic and it is fantastic. I really like the ending also. Made me giggle

A Savage Place - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

SUB JOEL MY BELOVED!!! This is one of those more realistic sub joels where he's confused as fuck about liking it, but he really clearly needs someone to take control for a little while. I really fucking love this so much. (there's pegging in part 2 @ my pegging enthusiasts <3 ) Reader is hot as hell, also. GOD I love this.

Whistle in the Dark - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Romantic cucking <3 No but okay the like basic plot is that your husband is a piece of shit who cheats on you so you like forcibly cuck him with Joel and Joel has feelings and it's sooooo hot and so good and like... affirming? and sweet? And your husband deserves to have his dick cut off bc he does something real fucked up, but having to watch Joel Miller dick his wife down GOOD is a start.

He hurt me but it felt like true love - a Joel one shot by @iamasaddie

Mean sexy Joel is pissy cause he found your dildo and he's gonna make that your problem. It's so hot. Vaginal DP????? GOD DAMN. Someone said DP isn't depraved a while back (eyeroll). They should read this. This is beautifully depraved

Feral Woman - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

This series has me feeling so many emotions. Watching FW/reader/Julia/Bug heal over time and learn to trust again is so fucking good. Susan is the light of my motherfuckin life I love that woman with all my heart. This series is GORGEOUS

Endless Night - a Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

yes i basically worked my way through Puddles' masterlist can you fucking blame me look at this shit. Anyway. EnNi reader/OC is, on the surface, the sunshine to Joel's grump. But the thing I love about her is that she's got this underlying darkness that adds so much depth to the grumpy x sunshine trope. I'm also eating up the borderline enemies to lovers dynamic going on here. Joel is such a dick lmao. I'm so excited for the rest of this fic.

All the good girls go to hell - an Ezra one shot by @psychedelic-ink

DUBCON with PRIEST EZRA yesssssss. The Haunted Hoedown is the gift that keeps on giving. This fic is so fucking HOT. Ezra as a priest seems so wrong and so right at the same time. This is excellent. I'd gladly go to hell for this man UNF.

Three's a crowd - a Marcus P/Javi P one shot by @agentmarcuspike

Marcus motherfuckin cute ass baby Pike watches Javier Peña fuck you. Yeah. Cucking Marcus Pike. That's what this is. Marcus is also characterized perfectly. Like this is so fucking cute actually. And it's really hot. obviously.

Begging for you to take my hand - a Joel series by @jupiter-soups

This fic is driving me up the wall in the best way. Joel is a big dumb idiot man who is like... not emotionally intelligent enough to realize he's in the wrong while trying to do what he perceives to be the "right thing." Here's what I commented verbatim on part 2 "Joel 'You Deserve Better Than Me' Miller back on his bullshit. I love this so much. Joel is so sad and so stupid i kinda wanna hit him." So if you're like me and you like to watch Joel be a sad little idiot who is also super hot.... this is the one

Refuge - a Joel series by @cool-iguana

GAH THIS IS SO GOOD!!! This fic really situates you in reader's head. Like you feel disoriented and frustrated and scared when she does and you feel like a powerful badass when she does and it's SO good. Basically in this one your husband joel shows up with some kid who is def not your kid in Jackson after you've been there for a hot minute and it's a big wtf moment. There's some other shit going on that I don't wanna spoil but like... this is so good. I know I keep saying that but GOT DAMN

Exposed - a Javi P one shot by @atticrissfinch

big fat dub con warning on this one. I so rarely see Javi written as a creep and I really fucking enjoyed it. I would like to humbly request more creep!professor!javi p

The Apprentice - a Dave York one shot by @pedropascalsx

This has like mafia!au vibes while not really being that, but what I mean by that is that the big bad murder daddy who you thought you'd be scared of saves you from murder father (ur dad). I really liked the characterization of Dave in this and the smut was HOT

Stockings - a Joel one shot by @atticrissfinch

Daddy kink daddy kink daddy kink. This is inspired by a photo that literally looks like denim shirt joel is helping you put your stockings on. This fic manages to be adorable and aggressively hot at the same time. I am in love.

Slumber - a Joel one shot by @cool-iguana

I love a good somno fic. also this is literally their 2nd fic they ever wrote and it's so good?! TALENT. There was a thing in this that caught me off guard bc I fully did not read the warnings, but I was not at all mad about it... HOT

Yearling - a Joel series by @justagalwhowrites

Holy motherfuckin shit balls dude. I'm noticing that I'm reading a lot of Reader-Who-Is-Extremely-Traumatized fics this week and I refuse to examine why that is but also they all have handled the heavy content very very well. Anyway. Reader is super duper good with horses and Joel is so soft and Ellie is so Ellie and I love all of this. I really love the way Kit builds the world in her fics. Like the opening chapter and then the way Bambi's back story is built up and the spaces that she exists in, they're all so vivid and good and real to me. I'm so fucking in love with the way Kit includes these details like reader singing and playing music, joel's coat, the light on in the house when Bambi is gone. It feels like nothing is there just to be there, like it's all important and it has a significant impact on the story and man... (also if you're worried about starting a longfic that's not finished, it updates like twice a fuckin week. Fast writer lol).

The Cabin in the Woods- a Dave York one shot by @xdaddysprincessxx

Getting kidnapped by Dave York and held in his cabin in the woods. Dark dark dark fic and so fucking well written. Love this <3

Isn't She a Doll? - a Dave York one shot by @proxima-writes

You are Dave's perfect little housewife and that is definitely the only thing going on here. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. (just read it)

Who do you call? - a Joel one shot by @chloeangelic

Your hot neighbor Joel helps you get rid of a spider! How sweet of him. Oh and then he rails you on the couch. I really love the way they have a whole conversation while they're fucking about how long it's been since they've fucked anyone. Chloe just has this wonderful way of infusing humor into really really hot fics that I adore

Does your mother know? - a Joel one shot by @cupofjoel

Another bathroom quickie for the rec list and god DAMN this one is hot. Close Family Friend!Joel (god I love putting this man in situations). There's something about being forced to stay quiet that just makes everything hotter.

Cellmate's Nephew!Joel - a Joel series by @toxicanonymity

JoJo is actually the love of my life. His tattoos, his voice, his dick print.... sigh. Can't wait to get out prison so this man can rail me on every available surface between the prison and Mabel's house.

The Man That I Love - a Joel series by @lumoverheaven

Joel is an idiot who doesn't know what he has until he almost loses it. The first part is heartwrenching and sad and I love it. The second part is wonderful and makes me tear up a lil

I said I didn't feel nothing, baby, but I lied - a Veracruz one shot by @iamasaddie

Veracruz is so hot. I swear that man could punch me in the face and I'd suck his dick for it (that is not healthy oops). This lovely little drabble is literally just you getting your ass spanked so raw you won't be able to sit for a week and it's HOT AS HELL

Creep - a Joel one shot by @theywhowriteandknowthings

Joel Miller is your super hot creepy neighbor and he manages to get you to fuck him and that is definitely the only thing going on here. nothing fishy at all. nope. totally normal reader fucks her creepy neighbor fic. (just fucking trust me and read it ok?)

---------------------------------

Happy Reading!

[ncityprincess]

sweet like candie 💻🍭

loser jae x cam girl oc

a long overdue sequel to the peeping jae. our favorite engineering student found himself in a pickle a few weeks ago. as mortified as he was, he quickly discovered a new side to himself. let’s see how he handles this newfound boldness.

not proofread 🤷🏾‍♀️

MDNI!!! MATURE CONTENT

xocandiegirlxo has logged on

jaehyun's heart was racing, eagerly waiting for the fun to begin. 8:00 pm had quickly become his favorite time of day, because that’s when candie, his new favorite cam girl, did her solo shows.

the engineering student spent all of winter break locked in his bedroom with the curtains closed and his laptop on. ever since that incident happened last month, jaehyun’s head was polluted with the filthiest thoughts imaginable. he desperately needed an outlet for them.

he pleasured himself way more than he ever had in his life. every time he closed his eyes, all he could think about were the raunchy images of y/n and johnny fucking each other right before his eyes. as freaked out and embarrassed as he was, it piqued his interest in sex even more. it’s not like he had much access to women, as he wasn’t exactly a ladies man. his lower head started to do all of the thinking for him, and eventually he found a way to get his foot into the door.

he turned to camgirls.

jaehyun, the extremely intelligent but generally nervous college student, had discovered a cam girl site not too long ago. being that he wasn't the type to approach a girl in real life, he decided to take his shot with a beautiful cam model. separated by a computer screen and however many miles, it was a safe way to practice being comfortable with women. tonight, he had transferred a few hundred dollars from his savings account to book a private session with his favorite cam girl, candie.

candie was perfect in his eyes. she was sweet, stunningly gorgeous, had the brightest smile and this distinct twinkle in her eye. she was an angel. and sure, she had a way of making men feel special. it was her job after all. but when candie spoke, it was as if she was speaking to jaehyun and only jaehyun.

the video chat was connecting, each agonizingly long second made jaehyun's pants tighter and tighter.

candie finally popped onto the screen, looking as beautiful as ever. she wore a pink lacy lingerie set, and tied her long locks back with a matching pink ribbon. her lips were plump and kissable, which was exactly what jaehyun wanted to do to her right now.

"hi baby, i didn’t get to see you during the last few shows", candie said with a pout.

"hi candie...sorry, my family came over and i wasn’t able to log on. i missed you so much” jaehyun said sincerely.

"aww, I missed you too baby boy. my show wasn’t the same without your sweet comments in the chat"

jaehyun scratched the back of his head shyly.

"mmm, so, what kind of fun are we gonna get into tonight, handsome?” candie said in her pretty, flirty voice.

"...umm, hmm, uh..." jaehyun bashfully stuttered.

"don't be shy baby, we always have such a good time when we're together, isn't that right?"

"yeah, yeah we do"

"we sure do! go on, tell me, what do you wanna see me do for you?"

candie let her hands roam across her voluptuous body, sensing that the shy man needed to relax a little more.

"do you like my outfit baby? I put it on just for you. it's my favorite color, pink!" candie said with a giggle.

"it looks lovely on you, but could you maybe...stand up. so I can see it better?"

"hehe, you want me to give you a little spin, baby?"

"please" he said eagerly

candie giggled again and slowly stood up from her bed. she tilted her webcam so that jaehyun could see all of her. she ran her hands up and down her body, spending a little extra time on her bra clad breasts. she let out little soft sounds of satisfaction. jaehyun leaned a little closer to his laptop screen, finally starting to get into a lusty haze. candie turned around slowly, bending over slightly so that he could get a good view of her plush ass. jaehyun ran his hands up his legs, slowly unbuttoning his pants.

candie turned back around and faced the camera.

"did you like my little fashion show, baby?"

"yeah" he grunted

candie tossed her hair over her shoulder. “what should i do now, handsome?”

jaehyun collected himself and gathered enough courage to speak his true thoughts.

“i wanna see you play with yourself…. if…that’s okay with you?”

“i thought you’d never ask. i’m sooooo horny baby. i’ve been dying to touch myself all day. how should i do it?” candie purred sweetly.

“uh…take your clothes off first, then touch your boobs please”

candie giggled at jaehyun’s polite demeanor. she could tell he was someone who didn’t get out much. but unlike the guys she normally got requests from, jaehyun still remained respectful, even in a dirty situation like this. he actually treated her like a human being.

jaehyun got harder and harder as he watched his favorite cam girl strip out of her lingerie. he felt like he was watching some sort of goddess enchant him.

candie followed his instructions and began to fondle her perky chest, running her hands over her hard nipples. “mmm baby i wish you were here to do it for me” candie moaned out.

“yeah, me too candie. would you let me kiss all over your boobs if i was there?”

“yeah” she breathed out.

“n-now can you maybe touch your pussy?”

candie’s hand moved down her stomach and stopped at her wetness, allowing it to coat her hand. she moved her hand in small circles on her clit, moaning softly at the friction.

“mmmm baby i’m so wet already, need you to help me make it better”

the neediness in candie’s voice made jaehyun shove his hand into his boxers once and for all. he groaned as his hand gripped his shaft, giving it a light squeeze. his ministrations became more focused as he heard candie get louder.

“baby i want you so fucking bad. wish you were in my mouth right now. i’d take you so deep in my throat if you’d let me. would you like that?”

“fuuuck yeah i would” jaehyun’s hand was working overtime moving up and down his length. he couldn’t believe he had a pretty girl in front of him doing whatever he wanted. he watched her slip two fingers inside of her glistening hole and she laid back flat onto her bed, giving him a perfect view of her pussy.

“wanna be your little slut for you babe. i’d let you have me whenever you wanted. you wouldn’t even have to say a word. i’d just lie back and let you have it. you’re so fucking sexy” candie moaned.

jaehyun didn’t even care if she was laying it on thick or not. her words were getting him exactly where he needed to be. he was so close to cumming, but he didn’t want the moment to be over so soon. he couldn’t keep his hands off of himself though. it felt too good to stop now.

“fuckkkk. fuck yourself really fast now. and rub your clit too. i’m so close baby.” jaehyun was surprised by the sound of his own voice. he had never heard himself sound so gruff and husky before. it was starting to give him some newfound confidence.

“ahhhh. i wanna cum so bad baby. make me cum make me cum pleaseeeee” candie whined. jaehyun’s eyes were lazer focused on her hand moving frantically in and out of her body. each motion made her breasts jiggle. he was so close he could taste it.

“fuck, let’s cum at the same time, yeah?”

“please baby i’ll do anything. just wanna cum.”

jaehyun started a countdown from 10 all the way to 1. he heard candie let out a sexy, drawn out wail as she came. immediately after, he shot out a hefty load all over his hand and boxers. he let out a guttural groan as he milked himself dry, overstimulating himself just how he liked it.

a few moments passed and jaehyun grabbed a kleenex to wipe off his hand. he felt his ears get red and had a bashful look on his face. he couldn’t believe he just did that. but he didn’t regret it one. bit.

“hehehe, i had a lovely time tonight, handsome boy. we should do this again sometime.” candie said sincerely and she grabbed her discarded lingerie.

“yeah?”

“of course! you made me feel so good baby. you’re a perfect gentleman” candie smiled at him softly.

jaehyun smiled and scratched the back of his head. “oh! let me send you your tip. you were amazing, as usual. i really hope we can do this again soon candie.”

jaehyun sent $300 to her profile, and candie smiled widely.

“you are so sweet! thank you for your generosity. will i see you again for tomorrow’s show, handsome?”

jaehyun wanted to see her every single night for the rest of his life.

the end 😁

[defilerwyrm]

if our favourite gay wizards were reptiles, what would they be?

this is one of the best asks I've ever gotten in the 13 years I've been here. I just got done talking snakes with my trainee at work for a solid hour so I am READY for this one

Caleb Widogast: Water monitor (wild-caught rescue)

(image source)

Caleb would be an Asian water monitor (Varanus salvator), specifically a wild-caught adult surrendered to a rescue. Water monitors are beautiful, charming, very large, and exceptionally intelligent. They like (and need) to spend large amounts of time basking, which for the purposes of this exercise is a stand-in for Caleb's navelgazing. With patience, dedication, and expert handling, they can become very docile and even affectionate, eagerly interacting with their owners.

However, wild-caught animals know the fear of life in the field where mortal danger is everywhere, food is only won by force, fresh water can be scarce, everyone has parasites, injury or illness often means a slow, horrible death, and almost no one gets to die of old age. They are flighty and bitey and slow to trust. They can be highly defensive and it takes a long time for them to learn that their keepers are not going to hurt them. Mortal fear makes any animal dangerous. An eight-foot-long, 70 lb predator with strong jaws full of sharp teeth made for ripping prey apart and long claws made for digging and climbing filled with mortal fear is extremely dangerous—not unlike a traumatized wizard.

They can be tamed, but they'll always have an edge to them. It might be easy to forget, when he's laying across your lap like a giant housecat pushing his chin into your hand for scritches, that he is still a dangerous wild animal at heart. But doesn't it make it all the more meaningful, all the more moving, when he trusts you—a fellow predator—with the soft flesh of his throat?

Essek Thelyss: Vietnamese blue beauty rat snake

(image source) (she's up for sale! wish I could afford her & had room)

Essek would be a Vietnamese blue beauty rat snake (Orthriophis taeniura callicyanous), a slender, stunningly gorgeous, and highly-sought-after animal. They too are very intelligent for reptiles. However, they're best-known for their propensity for being defensive, nervous, and secretive, and really not liking to be touched. They are accomplished climbers who spend their active hours up in the trees (much like Essek's floating trick), then retreat into caves to rest (the boltholes we tend to assume Essek's had while he's been on the run).

Untamed, they can be bite-happy and will warn you about this with a threat display. A blue beauty will absolutely hurt you as much as it can if they feel like they have to (granted, not nearly as dangerous as a level 16-20 dunamancer, but still). The important thing to remember is that a blue beauty isn't trying to hurt you because he hates you personally, he's trying to hurt you because he's scared.

But as with water monitors, if you start early, show patience, and are gentle with them, even blue beauties can learn to calm down and trust you enough to be held. Hell, if you do a good enough job at showing them that you're safe, they might even let you introduce them to new people, too.

That was fun! What do YOU think they would be?

[seiya-starsniper]

Sunflower for Hobrinthian 🌻

Ok so I wasn’t sure if you wanted dwarf sunflower (how many ways do I have to confess for you to believe me?) or tall sunflower (I’d never ask for your help, but…) so I went with the second one because angst is my friend 🔥🔥🔥

Flower Prompt Game!

Also using this for my Vampire square in @monsterfucktoberbingo

—-------------------------

There’s a storm raging outside. The kind that rattles windows and uproots trees from their very foundations. It’s the kind of storm no sane man would ever attempt to brave on level ground, let alone on the steep climb to the lone cliffside cottage overlooking the sea. 

Which is why when Hob Gadling hears a furious knock on his door, he grabs the holy water and his pistol loaded with silver bullets before he walks to answer.

“For fuck’s sake Hobsie, I’m not here to eat you,” Cori glowers at him when Hob opens the door. Hob thinks the vampire would look a lot more menacing if he weren’t so soaked. As it was, he just looked like a drowned rat. An unfairly attractive, still stunningly gorgeous drowned rat. Hob wants to slam the door in the blond’s face just for that. 

“Corinthian,” Hob growls, positioning his body directly in the doorway to block the other from coming in. Not that it mattered. Hob had rescinded his invitation to his home when Cori had walked out on him—on them—almost twenty years ago. 

“I need your help,” Cori says before Hob can ask any further questions. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Hob notices the blond is not alone. Draped along his shoulders is a second figure clad all in black, with a familiar shock of black hair. 

“Is that—?” Hob gasps, dread starting to pool deep in his gut. 

“You know that I’d never ask for your help with something like this unless it was dire,” Cori answers solemnly. “He's lost too much blood. I couldn’t—he’s—there was nowhere else to go.”

Well fuck.

“Come in then,” Hob says, stepping aside and hoping he’s not going to regret whatever’s about to happen tonight. “Both of you.”

Cori flies past him in a superhuman blur, dripping water all over the entryway and down the hall to Hob’s living room. Hob sighs deeply and shuts the door, bracing himself against the frame for a few moments. So much for a quiet night in with a book.

When he eventually makes his way to the living room, he finds Cori nervously hovering over Dream, who is sprawled out and unconscious on the couch. Hob feels a flash of deja vu as he remembers the last time he had the sire and fledgling pair in his house. Back then their roles had been reversed though, Cori had been the injured one sitting on the couch and Dream had been furious instead of worried. It had been one of the defining moments in his relationship with the blond. And not for the better.

“What the hell happened to him?” Hob asks, rolling up his sleeve and bracing himself for what he needs to do. Dream’s even paler than normal, and there’s burns on his skin that could’ve only come from being bound in silver chains. 

“Hunter,” Cori growls, anger clear in his voice. “Seemed to think Dream could bring his dead son back to life despite the bastard being in the ground for almost a year. Took me almost six days to find him.”

Hob clicks his tongue and doesn’t ask if it really took Cori six days to find Dream, or if it took him six days to even notice Dream was missing. Dream had always had a habit of running off on his own, and it led to a lot of abandonment issues that Hob had tried his best to address, but it was hard to be objective when your oldest friend was also your lover’s maker. Former lover, Hob had to remind himself. Cori had given up on them the last time Hob had found himself involved in one of their sire/fledgling spats. 

“Anyone I need to be avoiding, then?” Hob asks, trying to shake himself of his melancholy thoughts. He kneels down next to Dream and holds his wrist over the vampire’s mouth. He looks over at Cori, the request clear. The vampire nods and kneels next to Hob, before running his nail across Hob's wrist in a clean line. Hob hisses under his breath at the initial pain, but it eventually subsides as his blood begins to drip onto Dream’s lips.

“Not anymore,” Cori says, after a few moments of quiet. “I made sure to kill Roderick Burgess and all his stupid followers on the way out when I got Dream.”

Ah, the Order of Mysteries then. That made sense. Hob had spent the better part of the century trying to avoid them as well. There was certainly no shortage of men looking to cheat death and that little cult was one of them. It didn’t surprise Hob that they would think of using vampire blood to resurrect the dead. Hob himself had been chasing immortality centuries ago before he’d had the good fortune to rescue the lady Death herself by accident. He’s one of the only immortals he knows that didn’t have to sacrifice some great thing or commit an unforgivable act to be able to live forever. 

Which of course made him the ideal candidate for an emergency like this one. Dream and Cori have fed from him before in small amounts, but this was going to require so much more than he’d ever given before. 

“You’re lucky I’ve been eating quite heartily these last few weeks,” Hob says as he flexes his wrist to drip more blood onto Dream’s still unconscious body. 

Come on, mate, he silently pleads. Don’t leave us just yet.

As if hearing him from beyond the veil, Dream’s eyes snap open and in moments his mouth is affixed to the open wound, inhaling the blood as if he’d never had it before. 

“There you are, my friend,” Hob murmurs reassuringly. “Old Hobsie’s got you, take everything you need.”

Dream’s striking blue eyes meet his only for a moment, and then snap shut once more as the vampire devotes the rest of his energy to feeding on Hob. 

Hob doesn’t know how long Dream drinks for, but it’s long enough that he eventually begins to feel woozy, and he’s on the verge of passing out right on top of Dream when Cori yanks his wrist away from his sire’s mouth. 

Hob can barely make out the sounds of an argument, which means that Dream’s regained consciousness. That's good, at least. But before his brain can begin to try decipher what exactly is being said above his head, Hob finds himself lifted up and carried to his bedroom.

“You bloody idiot, you always give too much,” Cori grumbles as he tucks the immortal into bed.

“Still was never enough for you,” Hob mumbles sleepily, the filter on his brain completely gone now. He’s so tired now. He’s going to have a bloody headache in the morning and it’s going to be awful, and Cori is going to leave him again. 

“No, we’re not—I’’m not going anywhere Hob,” Cori says. “I promise.” 

It’s the last thing Hob remembers before sleep overtakes him entirely.

[sunflwryu]

warning: yandere | not requested

change

soobin was scared when he first saw you.

you were way too beautiful to be real, like the most beloved video game character brought to life, dreaminess and everything he’s ever imagined all in one package. you made him feel what he had never felt before, and that scared him so much, the way his heart thumped fast and loud in his ears as you elegantly walked by, the way his body started to quiver from just being in your breathtaking presence alone, the way his voice trembled the times he talked to you, the way he lay awake at night thinking about you and that stunningly gorgeous smile of yours, the sinking realization crushing him eventually when he realized how hopeless it would be to have you to himself. you’re so perfect, why would you want a loser nerd like him? you’d never even look at him if it weren’t for the fact that you two were customer and barista at the café, always being the last ones to leave two hours after midnight.

he strokes your face gently with his large hands, admiring your visuals, all the perfect imperfections he so greatly fantasized about viewing from up close. everything is set in place; the special garments of silk he custom ordered fit you perfectly just as he knew it would, and the priest waits patiently at the front pew, the fat wad of cash tucked safely into the left pocket of his robes, the bible in the other.

you’ll certainly be scared when you wake up, feeling everything different around you, just like he had way back then, opening his eyes to your smile, your eyes, your everything when you handed him an iced americano.

but like he did, you’ll change and accept the new person you’ll become — his spouse.

note: part of my cleaning-out-my-drafts spree. short and hopefully sweet. :)

txt masterlist | main masterlist | by @sunflwryu