#what is he yapping about

[enigmamuse]

Ramble ram·​ble - noun 1. a leisurely excursion for pleasure 2. an aimless, erratic, and often long-winded story or discussion

[mrancientrat]

Bro got too silly

[sleepyezzy]

HELP MY 9 YEAR OLD BROTHER ASKED ME MY OPINION ON THE FIREAFY DIVORCE?????

[maze-of-sweets]

hi gamers

WHHHAAATTT IS UP CHAT HOW ARE WE DOING TODAY?!?! BE SURE TO SMASH THAT LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE BUTTON!!! AND BE SURE TO RING THAT BELL SO YOURE ALWAYS NOTIFIED WHEN A NEW TED JOINS THE BOX!!!!

[capitalradio]

paul what was that

[go-star-sailor]

transfem wirt truthers wya

[choccy-milky]

sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )

[bitchslapblastoids]

V: Not that I’m broke. Because I know where to come if I’m broke.

D: Thank you for buying merchandise at shop.danielhowell.com so that I can pay for my grandma’s…total body workout.

Hard to overstate how much I adore this whole this (saved the parasocial for the tags)

[maxedes]

sooo,,,, wHO WAS GONNA TELL ME THAT MY WIFE HAS COME HOME

[izzystizzys]

As High Marshall Commander, a title foisted on him by the Galaxy’s fakest bitch aka Chancellor Palpatine, Fox theoretically has privileges and authorities like no other clone. In practice, he has a headache and gets ignored more obviously than before.

What he also has is a fancy new function on his personal comm unit modified to broadcast GAR-wide to all commanding officers, up to and including Jedi. It gathers dust next to his own modified button that sees much better use - a private channel to Stone, the only vod that will let Fox bitch at him to his heart’s content without hanging up (Thire) or bitching right back (Thorn).

It’s been a long shift of 72 hours, the maximum Stabby allows him to do without a well-placed hypo to the neck, when Fox finally collapses on his rickety cot in the Command quarters and hits the private comm connection to Stone without looking. He’s already rolling his eyes so hard it tweaks at the migraine that’s been building since hour 18 and heaving a put-upon sigh.

“Everyone is stupid, Stone, and asking to be thrown face-first from the Dome balustrades”, he begins, settling into a low, dead tone of voice to warm to the building monologue. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. “I swear to haran I’m going to wring Amedda’s stringy neck one of these days. I don’t know what magical Force gods his mother pissed off, but they made sure to punish her and the Galaxy at large a hundred times over. He sucks the joy and competence out of every room like a black hole of stupid. I’d call him a has-been, but I trust in the power of nepotism and also just don’t believe he ever was. I swear he’s doing it on purpose and - oh, kriffing Sith-damned hells, you know who’s definitely doing it on purpose?! The kriffing Chancellor, that wrinkly ass-faced ballsack!”

Taking a deep breath, Fox lets that sit in his chest for a moment, indulging in the feeling of bright weightlessness. “I swear he’s trying to keep the war going - no one man can be that incompetent and still draw breath, not even Amedda or Taa. Goddamn Taa - but anyways, kriffing hell, Stone, either the senility isn’t an act or he’s a bad cartoon villain from Dooby Scoo. Yes Sir, sending Senator Amidala to a Seppie-infested planet for negotiations is a great idea after her fourth bomb threat of the week. No Sir, I can’t hear you cackling evilly with Count Dooku under your lame two-credit robe as you’re definitely not colluding with the Republic’s enemies. What, you have a red lightsaber?! Oh, of course I don’t know what that means, I was dropped on the head as a tubie!”

Barely pulling in a harsh breath, Fox continues, palms pressing into his eyeballs hard enough to cause sparks. “And speaking of lightsabers and senile fucks, haran smite my ass off but who the kriff thought it’d be a good idea to give absolute tactical and military authority to the kriffing eldritch space monks! The Force didn’t bless them with the collective good sense it gave to a kriffing rock, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise! Has anyone kriffing read the Theed Convention of Sentient Rights in Wartimes?! NO?!! Well, color me UNSURPRISED, because war crimes ARE NOT! GOOD! BATTLE! TACTICS!!”

“They run around in crop tops, Stone, in crop tops! Oh, the Force provides - WELL I’M GOING TO PROVIDE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS, AND IT’S GOING TO HURT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WEARING KRIFFING ARMOUR!”

“Sure, let’s send the preteens into active warzones under heavy artillery in kriffing party wear! Surely nothing will ever go wrong! And give them commanding positions equivalent to CC-clones, WHO WERE LITERALLY GENETICALLY CREATED FOR IT! WITH A DECADE OF INTENSE TRAINING! LET’S DO THAT, BECAUSE WE’RE ALL KRIFFING STUPID!”

He’s gesturing wildly at the ceiling now, face heating up as his blood boils beneath the surface. “And you know what really gets my lowers in a twist, apart from the preteen commanding officers and blatant kriffing high treason and war profiteering?! Is it the complete lack of recognition? Gratitude? Basic sentient rights?! No, Stone, no, I would take all that in stride if it meant I never had to see Skywalker and Amidala kriffing canoodle right in front of me again, and pretend like it isn’t the galaxy’s worst conflict of interest case in the making!”

“By all levels of Sith-hell, what the kriff is wrong with that woman? You have it all, you could have anyone, and you choose that twatwaffle?! And then they have the gall to lock themselves in a broom closet for twenty minutes straight and have me guard it! ‘Oh yes, Senator, naturally we all go rattling brooms with our good friends! Nothing dodgy happening at all! I definitely believe you were looking for detergent and have used a washing machine before!’ The absolute nerve on those two! And then last week - you’ll never believe this - High General Windu passed by, and I swear he looked like he wanted to throw himself off the roof! I’ve never been less impressed by anyone in my life, and I’m batch-mates with Bly!”

“Speaking of Bly, that little bitchtit - if I have to edit one more, one more kriffing propaganda piece of him staring at General Secura’s bits, I’m going to stab my eye out! And if I have to edit one more of Secura staring at his bits, I’m going to stab the other one out! The only good thing I have to say about them is they’re more subtle than Skywalker and Amidala, which means nothing really. I will never understand that woman - but then she’s worked with Jar Jar Binks for a decade and not had a nervous breakdown, so she either has nerves of steel or is on some good-ass drugs.”

“Girl, your choices. And you know what else is a choice? Kote kriffing roundhouse-kicking heads off droids when he has a perfectly good blaster right there! I don’t know what the Longnecks put in his tube, but I hope to kriff it’s not contagious. I’d say I’m glad he has Kenobi to keep him in check, but that man wouldn’t know common sense if it punched his nose clean off his face. Flirting with General Grievous, ugh. I’d say he can do better, but honestly, they deserve each other.”

“And Wolffe - “, panting, Fox pauses, considering. “Well, Wolffe is an asshole and stupid, and I hate him because he’s stupid and has a stupid face. Also he keeps drunkenly submitting adoption paperwork on General Koon’s behalf - I wish I could say something mean about that, but honestly, his existence is roast enough. Anyways, bitches are trying me today, and by bitches I mean everyone. Commander Fox signing off to go not commit treason, unfortunately.”

Thoroughly powered out, Fox sinks into his hard mattress with a deep sigh. Several seconds of silence reign, and then his comm unit starts blaring in alarm.

Somewhere in the Jedi Temple, Mace Windu is knocked flat on his ass by a gargantuan shatterpoint exploding.

[1440-minutes]

College au! kamijirou first date

[shalom-iamcominghome]

I've been doing a lot of reflection as of late, especially after this past class.

This past class was about the Torah and Tanakh in general, and the way the rabbi talked about the commandments (specifically the ten commandments) has made me really reflect on how I interpret them, specifically the fifth commandment, or honoring your mother and father.

This is a commandment I have wrestled with for a long time - in fact, it brought me away from g-d at multiple times. I was severely abused when I was incredibly young by my mother, and I used to feel insulted at the implication that I were to honor her while she got to live a better life. It was hypocritical, in my eyes.

But this rabbi surmised that this particular commandment was because parenthood is an act of creation, something that is like the g-d from which we come from. My realization is this: I don't think we're necessarily meant to take even these commandments literally.

I this particular commandment is more of a call to honor creation - creation is a gift, and like any gift, many people simply will not like it and will discard it. The person who abused me created me, but she did not honor creation. She didn't honor me, but I can still honor it.

I have started to honor creation much more. I'm too young, too unstable, not mature enough to be a father (though I fantasize about it), but I create all the time. I create relationships, I create with my hands through crochet. I create memories, I create my world. And I can honor who I am and where I came from that made me who I am. I've been learning one of the mother tongues of my family (Italian, since part of my family originates there) and it was judaism that inspired me to do this.

I don't think g-d wants me to honor my abuser. I think He wants me to remember the Holy action of creation. When I am a father, that act of creation will be Holy, and indeed, I am already joyful about the thought.

I have seen many people struggle with this particular commandment, but I think this perspective helps me personally. I don't think I ever have to forgive my abusers (plural), and I don't think I am commanded to simply because they happened to be family. I am commanded to recognize the holy, to elevate the mundane. In doing so, I will remember g-d. Through creation, I honor g-d and everything he has done for us, for me, and for our collective people.

[landedinpayne]

in case you are in the mood to feel devastated here’s an alternate way of viewing charles’ response to edwin’s confession:

we know that charles kinda puts edwin on a pedestal- yes they are partners but there is a bit of a hierarchy between them. charles just looks up to and admires edwin in so many ways while constantly looking down on and being really hard on himself. he puts on his big happy persona because he thinks that people wouldn’t like him if they actually got to know him.

so when edwin confesses, it’s like a blow to him. he took his charming persona too far and went and tricked the most important person in the world into thinking he was worthy of love. and it’s worse because he does love edwin in that way, which is exactly why he can’t let him know that. charles still believes that he is like his dad, and he saw exactly what his parents’ relationship did to his mother.

he thinks that loving edwin in the way that he wants to would only cause more pain to this boy who has already been through far more than he deserves. so he blinks back his tears, attempts the same charming smile he’s used all these years, and dishes out the gentlest non-rejection in the history of forever

[thebrainrotsreal]

EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

[ceruark]

*ahem* *slides you a $20*

So… about those other hinted suitors….

I thought you’d never ask~

If you haven't already read it, you can see my Entwined AU here and read about about yandere prince Sunday :>

Imperial Advisor Ratio has all the means to make you his— everything except the status, that is. Having been formally introduced to you as your personal advisor when you were both teenagers, Veritas has long since earned your unwavering trust and faith in him, something he has exploited a great number of times. It’s nice to be needed by you, to be the one you look toward and rely on when uncertainty and insecurity settle in your heart. You alone possess his loyalty and his heart, and he’ll do his best to steer you and your kingdom in the right direction— even if, sometimes, that direction may be toward himself.

It eats him up inside to know that he can’t ever have you. He’s a miserable orphan your mother so graciously picked up off the streets and had her court raise into the perfect advisor, and as far as anyone knows he’s certainly not royalty. He has your trust, he has Welt’s approval, and yet the only thing standing between you and him is the lack of a mere title. 

It doesn’t matter. If he has things his way, you’ll be a ruler who never marries and finds a successor in one of your kingdom’s bright youths. All it will take is sabotaging your personal relationships with any honorable suitors that come your way— and keeping you out of Sunday’s grasp.

Lord Aventurine is one of ten advisors for Emperor Diamond of the IPC, and his honey-coated compliments do nothing to distract you from the way he eyes your empire, your palace— the way he eyes you. You never wanted to give him the time of day, knowing he was only looking to acquire your kingdom for the IPC’s already vast empire. However, despite your efforts, you somehow manage to get wrapped up in conversation with him at every event. He always knows just what to say, knows what political affairs are plaguing your mind and how to get you to express your true opinion of them. It leaves you baffled every time, how someone so obviously possessing ulterior motives could get you to lower your inhibitions and be open with him.

And it’s true, he is after your empire— at least, at first, that’s all it was. But Aventurine does his research, and he manages to get information on everyone of importance: you, your late mother, Imperial Advisor Welt, and of course, that Imperial Advisor Ratio. Yes, he’d heard the tales of how your mother found him out in the rain, scavenging for food, and so kindly took him into the palace and raised him with the specific purpose of being your personal advisor after he proved to have an astounding intellect. He’d heard all about how Ratio from nothing to everything, pampered and treated like a prince by your mother’s court. He felt a twinge of jealousy that someone of similar origin to him could have such a different upbringing, but he brushed it off, not wanting to open old wounds.

And then he meets you. Someone clearly cautious of him, but treating him with kindness and due respect nonetheless. It was refreshing; the IPC were hated by almost everyone, and his past meant he was far less respected than the other advisors. You aren’t immune to his manipulation tactics, and he finds that the more he talks to you, the more he falls. Your heart is far too pure for the life you’ve been born into, and it pains him to think that anyone but him could possibly take advantage of it at any time. And as he manages to slither his way past the walls you’ve so wisely built around yourself, as he beholds you— the real you— he can’t help but feel that it should have been him. Your mother should have found him, and he should be the one you depend on, the one who makes your face brighten and your posture relax at the mere sight of him.

No matter. He’ll find his place by your side, one way or another.

General Jing Yuan of the Xianzhou Luofu is a massively influential and renowned figure in Queen Fu Xuan’s court. The Luofu’s most decorated general in history, he commands respect and admiration in every room he walks into, and his personable demeanor only does him favors. His interest in you is a recent development, sparked by your sharp wit and willingness to flirt back. You’ve clearly become enamored of him, and he’s no exception to the way you seem to captivate every eligible bachelor and bachelorette in the room. Patience is a virtue, and he’s not one to act on jealousy; despite the possessiveness he’s developed over you, he stands a far better chance at winning your hand than anyone else on this list due to his self-control and charm. 

Since the two are already on great terms, the Luofu has no reason to seek out a more solidifying alliance with your kingdom— but surely a marriage between you two can’t hurt, right?

Lady Kafka is a horrible idea wrapped in a tantalizing outer shell. Her empire has nearly tripled in size since she overthrew her kingdom’s rulers a few years ago and seized control, mercilessly and swiftly conquering neighboring regions and expanding her power. 

With the influence she has, Belobog was the first to extend an invitation to her to attend a royal gathering, hoping to establish amicable relations with her. Other kingdoms followed suit, yours included. Choosing to engage with her was one of the few times you disregarded Veritas’s advice, and oh, how you regretted doing that. She took to you quickly, an attractive thing with a powerful empire behind you. You shudder at the feather-light touches she leaves against your arm, her velvety voice doing little to mask the threats she directs toward your kingdom should you deny her affections; if you won’t come to her willingly, she has no qualms about taking you by force. 

Outlaw Boothill is a massive pain in your rear. The most notorious thief in all the kingdoms, his persistent evasion of authorities all around the world leaves you perplexed, frustrated, and somewhat impressed. Wanted by almost every empire, he seems to have an affinity for messing with yours specifically. He’s broken into your palace countless times, stealing anything from dinner plates and cutlery to one of Veritas’s rubber ducks. He’s managed to get into your chambers the past few times, though, and the thought of the missing jewelry and articles of clothing leaves your skin crawling.

Once a knight for a kingdom with cruel rulers, Boothill saw the way your subjects genuinely adore and respect you and decided to do his own research. Masquerading as a palace hand when he’s not out causing chaos, he quickly finds himself flustered by your authenticity and kindness toward all your servants, even him. You’re everything a good ruler should be, and he can’t help but wonder what things could’ve been like for him had he served you. 

He never takes anything of real value from your palace like he does with the other royals— just knowing he’s got your attention is enough of a prize for him.

(hopefully this provides some insight as to why Sunday has such an urgency to slap a ring on your finger LOL)

[lobotomizedbrain]

Just a silly Nny doodle I did. Oh and yeah, first post ig.