#what is Nifty?

[hazbingirliexoxo]

Angel: *angrily, reading through Val’s texts* ARE YOU-

Reader: *nonchalantly* fucking

Angel: KIDDIN’ ME?! THIS

Reader: fucking

Angel: IDIOT

Husk: Uhh, what the hell was that?

Reader: Charlie banned Angel from swearing so I offered to help him out

[cizzyart]

My contribution to the Cursed Cat Alastor fandom

He is just a ✨️SLINKY✨️ boy

[zerana]

She killed the mommy bug in front of its babies as a warning….

[itsumilucy]

OKAY THIS SCENE

The look Lucifer is giving is enough to start but the fact that if you listen closely you can hear him go "ugh this guy." I CAN'T EVEN.

Lucifer is just like "Yeah sure did all the hard work but why not show up after it all."

[liftys-favorite]

if you sleep with plushies/stuffed animals, imagine this:

you don't see your f/o for a few days for some reason or another (visiting family, work trip, etc), and when you come home, you find them asleep curled around one of your plushies.

when you ask them about it the next day (after taking pictures, of course :3), they bashfully admit that it was just because they missed you, and wanted to hold something that smelled like you <3

proshippers/comshippers/any variants do not interact.

[eternalera]

the fact that alastor only came back after they made the hotel is funny to me

bro was so glad he didnt have to do any of the work lmao

also...

everyones faces

angel:

cherri:

lucifer:

charlie

nifty:

vaggie

husk:

they all look so shocked and confused-

no but the fact that alastor didnt help them build the hotel is hilarious to me. what a silly little guy

[some-zer0]

Stab first and ask questions never

[cinnamonthearsonist]

(Hazbin Finale Spoilers)

HOLY-

Huskerdust crumbs, Vox x Valentino is canon, Pentious AND Lilith are in heaven, Pentious x Cherri is semi-canon, Alastor almost DIED????

NIFTY KILLED ADAM???????

HOLY SHIT???

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

One night at the Hotel, they're scrolling through HellFlix and Vaggie suddenly gasps.

Vaggie: NO FUCKING WAY! It's finally on here!

Charlie: What? You find a show you like?

Vaggie: Not just "like", this is the best show EVER! I've wanted to binge it with you for years!

Charlie: Oh, neat! So, what show is it? What's it about?

Vaggie: I got three words for you, babe. Xena. Warrior. Princess!

SHE WILL RULE IN HELL AT LAST! HER TV SHOW SHALL REIGN SUPREME IN THE HEARTS OF THE MOST DANGEROUS BEINGS IN HELL!!!!! there is just ONE worrying part to that though....

Charlie: "Wait, she kills the king of hell?"

Vaggie: "It's not a historically accurate show babe don't worry about it."

Charlie: "Still... now I'm picturing her murdering my dad. Not sure how to feel about it..."

Lucifer: (intensely eating popcorn behind them) "Well I'd feel GREAT about it!"

Charlie: "Wh- Dad!?"

Lucifer: "It would be an honor."

Charlie: "To be KILLED by her???"

Lucifer: "Of course! Look at her snarling war face! Look at her THIGHS-"

Charlie: "DAD!!!!!"

Vaggie: (sighing) "Wish I was king of hell so she'd murder me..."

Lucifer: "Poor Maggie." (pats her) "There there, maybe Xena- or Gabrielle might be better seeing as you've been cheering every time she comes on screen- maybe they'd agree to murder the princess consort of hell too?"

Vaggie: "I uhhhh- s-sir, me and Charlie, we're not-"

Lucifer: "Right yes of course! Future princess consort."

Vaggie: "Ffffffuture-?"

Charlie: "DAD HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT XENA!? YOU ARE STILL MARRIED TO MOM!"

Lucifer: "Ohhh Char-Char.... Lilith would be FIRST in line for death at the hands of this warrior princess lady and her gal pal. Especially if they used those amazing thighs of theirs to-"

Vaggie: "Sir, please don't finish that sentence and ruin the best show in all creation for my girlfriend by adding more family trauma."

Lucifer: "Whoops! Gosh am I saying too much now? Oh golly, my bad my bad, ha ha ha!"

Charlie: "...."

Vaggie: "Sweetie? Wanna switch the show off for a while?"

Charlie: "....actually, Vaggie..."

Vaggie: "?"

Charlie: "... D'you think we could get a Xena costume in your size?"

Lucifer: (jaw drops)

Vaggie: "Hhhhh... I- yeah, probably? I mean.... this is hell, and her outfit is mostly leather, so...."

Charlie: "Would you wanna wearrrrr it~?"

Lucifer: (drops popcorn)

Vaggie: "Do you even have to ask?"

Charlie: "Mmmm heheh- but I like setting a good example, and you know I loooove it when people ask~"

-THUD-

Charlie: "ohshitballsdickfuck- DAD-"

Vaggie: "Hostia!" 

Lucifer: "IM FINE! AHAHAHA"

Charlie: "Dad- dad im so SORRY i forgot you were here-!"

Lucifer: "NO NO I HEARD NOTHING AND AM A-O-KAYYY!!!!"

Charlie: "You fell face first onto your own cane! You're BLEEDING!"

Lucifer: "Everything is fine! Once I've been sick into this bag of popcorn i will be extra specially FINE and our little impromptu family tv night together is going SO SPLENDEDLY WELL, isn't it Maggie!?"

Vaggie: "Ajo y agua..."

Charlie: "VAGGIE HELP- THE BLOOD??"

Vaggie: (sighing) (smiling) (standing up)

Vaggie: "...I'll go get the first aid kit."

-silly bonus-

Niffty: (from under couch) "I'll trade you the first aid kit for a vile of his bloooooood~~"

Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming and jumping on the couch and clinging to each other in terror)

Niffty: "Don't worry!" (giggles) "It's just for my Collection~"

Charlie, Vaggie, Lucifer: (screaming LOUDER)

[a-h-li]

Introducing: the DND Hazbin AU!!!

Sue me some of these classes and races are homebrewed…

Background: for board game night, the subject of DND comes up and Vaggie reveals that she was kind of a nerd while she was alive. She’s a bit self conscious about it but?? Charlie has heard her talk about it before and has wanted to play for ages but they haven’t had a group of people to play with. In a way it’s genius because. Dnd is basically an ultimate team bonding exercise; there’s a lot of empathy and problem solving involved…Vaggie is convinced to give a crash course on the rules, prints out a couple of character sheets, and the rest of the hotel (as per first character creations usually go) basically create themselves as their characters 💀.

Campaign summary: the world is set in a high fantasy adjacent of hell, where Charlie is dead broke and has 0 means raising money for a hotel to redeem the sinners of this realm. With the rest of her party, they set off from avernus (the top ring of the nine hells of Baator ) to Nessus (the deepest ring), where Lucifer has isolated himself within a securely guarded fortress. She intends to ask him to get an audience with heaven to plead her cause.

Team Comp: So the tank for this team is definitely Vaggie, with Charlie and Husk as the support + healers, nifty as a front line damage dealer, Pentious, Alastor, and Angel as long distance damage dealers. To balance out this team maybe Charlie multiclasses to a barbarian down the line??

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Headcanon that since they live in a self aware musical Angel will use it to his advantage to fuck with people

He'll start playing music to see what the strangest thing he can get people to sing is

Everyone figures out what he's doing pretty fast but he keeps doing it because Alastor and Lucifer seem to have made it a competition to try and get each other to say the most embarrassing shit and neither of them will back down

The worst song he's gotten them to sing along to is Daisy by Ashnikko

This left multiple people dead, even more people traumatized, and got Angels music privileges restricted (in his defense he really thought this one would stump them)

He does feel kinda bad for Charlie but the horrified looks of Vaggie and Husks faces make everything worth it

(also Cherri and Nifty think it's hilarious)

[hazbingirliexoxo]

Reader: *talking about their favorite TV show/podcast*

Vox: *smugly* Well it can’t be that popular if I’ve never heard of it

Reader: *mockingly* It’s not for old people🙄🙄

Vox: ….

[lucica-stuff]

when you realise Charlie's Mom has been gone for seven years:

when you realise Alastor was also gone for seven years:

[goodmorningbluejay]

The fact that Baxter works for Voxtech is sending me because if him and Nifty really will be a thing in the show then the Romeo and Juliet set up will kill me like Garlic and a wooden stake

Alastor and Vox forbidding them but Baxter and Nifty running away together anyway

To die for

[gemsandjunk]

Can’t stop thinking about the literal meaning of “spies are forever”. It’s an oath. It’s an omen. It’s a blatant lie. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. Spies are forever because spies can never just leave, never safely, never happily. Spies are forever because spies never die, and spies never die until the job kills them, one way or another. I guess you could say that to be spy is to experience the horror of staying ali- *I am escorted off the premises by multiple security guards*

[liftys-favorite]

comforting your f/o after a nightmare

yeah, of course all the scenarios where your f/o comforts you are great, but what if it was the other way around?

your f/o jolts awake, and you're immediately at their side, already up from them tossing and turning in their sleep.

maybe you offer them a hug that they sink gratefully into, secure in the knowledge that you're not going anywhere. maybe they don't want that much touch, so you just stay close and let them take what they need, and let your simple presence be enough.

you ask if they want to talk about it, reassuring them that you'll be here whether they do or don't.

or maybe, all it takes is seeing you to settle them down. you ask if they're alright, and they respond with "i'm okay, as long as you're here"

staying up until they fall asleep again, and a little while longer than that, to chase away any other bad dreams that might try to disturb them, and to make sure they sleep easy

proshippers/comshippers/any variants do not interact.