#what in the menopause bro

[callmebabygirll0]

No one warns you about that one reoccurring thick ass crazy pubic chin hair you get once you pass 25

[audiovisualrecall]

Bro in law walked in the other night with groceries in his arms, saw us sitting at the kitchen table doing watercolors, put the groceries on the ktichen counter where we had made sure there was plenty of room, and called steph a moron. Nephew decided to get involved in steph's meltdown where she was ranting in her confusion and hurt to her husband, nephew told her that it was something she did (not the table?) that led to his dad's behavior, and got yelled at as she was already yelling in meltdown mode. He's avoiding her now, even tho I've shouted at him while having a meltdown before and he didn't take it personally, but steph it's a problem. Whatever. It's because he 100% thinks that anything his dad says or does is correct and that he's in the right to behave that way, even tho his dad told my parents that he overreacted. The kid thinks if his dad is mad at someone then it's justified and thus anything he says as part of that is justified, and that it's ok to tell someone who is upset and confused over it that it's their fault. So steph is upset and irritated by nephew telling her it's her fault for being treated like that, and nephew is unnerved or upset about being yelled at maybe? Or just has decided steph is a loose cannon, even tho her reaction, while explosive, was justifiable in my opinion. And now his dad and steph are avoiding each other, and nothing is resolved, and steph is still hurt and angry and confused and at a loss due to not being able to resolve things and not knowing Why, and idk how bro in law feels at all, and this is a Great recipe for a family dinner at a nice restaurant for my dad's birthday tonight :)))))))) there is no way this can go wrong :))))))

[scientia-rex]

I got home from work today sneezing my head off with a right eye that won’t stop watering, took a hot shower, climbed into bed, and I haven’t climbed out since. I’m grumpy and I have a headache and if I’m not testing positive for COVID or debilitated by symptoms tomorrow I’ll still need to go to work because that’s twenty patient visits that would need to be rescheduled, usually with someone else, and that’s twenty people I’m letting down. Today I did one of my patented 45-second Pap smears (if it takes longer than that, your doctor needs to get better!) for someone with vaginal atrophy from menopause (it is both very common and very treatable) and she was in disbelief. (This time it was more like 30 seconds.) I saw a suicidally depressed patient who’s clinging to life with both hands and I changed their meds last week and I am not making them wait to see me. I cleaned a wound no one else gave a shit about and I saw a bitter pissy Republican Party bigwig who has terrible anxiety and depression she doesn’t tell anyone about, who’s alienated everyone but who I can still convince to try treatment.

I do my job on hard mode on purpose. I like being important—who doesn’t? I like being legendary, I like that when people move to town and ask for doctor recommendations on Facebook so many people mention me that other patients feel compelled to tell me about it. I got nominated for best doctor in our local region last year. (I didn’t win, out of 5 nominees.) But when I’m sick, when I’m the kind of sick that can be hidden easily, the kind of sick I was always expected to go to school and rotations and residency with, it’s so hard. I hate exposing patients, even to a cold, but the benefits of receiving care are probably enough to outweigh the chance of transmission. I wrestle with myself: if I call in, it starts a ripple effect. Can they get a per diem from their “pool” (of three) to come in? Can they reschedule my patients with me? I don’t have any open spots for five weeks. Can they open same days? None available for three weeks. Can they open blocked spots? That’s going to make my life hell when I come back from being sick. That’s clinic staff calling twenty patients, trying to reach them. That’s twenty patients who feel abandoned. They can know intellectually that doctors get sick too, but they don’t believe it. They take it personally. I have seen this over and over again, until I had to believe it.

It is so EASY for people who don’t do this job to tell me how I’m doing it wrong. “Just stay home!” Oh, okay, you want to tell the person whose chronic opioids I’m supposed to write for that I can’t? You want to put the nurses through getting the on-call to write a bridge prescription? I write more ADHD meds than most of my peers—usually a lot more. You want to tell my colleagues to write meds they’re uncomfortable with? How about tell my suicidal patients (which is a lot of them!) that the provider they know and trust after months or years will be replaced today by a 70-year-old white man who still thinks they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps? Tell my queer patients that they have to wait until I’m better and back to get their hormones and their STI screenings, reschedule a Pap someone was dreading. Every day is a kaleidoscope of opportunities to make a real connection with “difficult” patients. I’m good at it. I may be the best at it at my clinic.

I don’t hate calling in sick just because the clinic manager is a judgy bitch, though that doesn’t help. I hate it because of what it does to my patients. And it’s not simple. Pretending it is does all of us a disservice. I am not a widget. I am not easily replaceable. You can’t plug any of our per diems (all men, 2/3 white, 2/3 old, 1/3 a Bitcoin bro) into my place and call it an equivalent, and my schedule is already so packed that if I call in sick, patients will be guilt-tripping me about it for months. I’m not kidding. That happens every single time.

Christ alive, I wish it was true that doctors never got sick.

[munchkinmarky4life]

I’m gonna tell you the truth about Munchkin Marky:

Bro is too silly for any Saw movie.

Bro is 9 months pregnant with Strahm’s child.

Bro is going through hardcore menopause.

Bro’s test is only being tied to a chair and being a little bitch.

Bro walks like a little person. (He is a little person)

Bro thinks he’s the shit, but he ain’t even the fart.

Bro tries to be the villain, but he still acts like the victim.

Bro gets grumpy when he don’t get what he wants or if he doesn’t win.

Bro’s character don’t make no sense.

Bro fucks up the jigsaw games.

Bro tries to fucking hard to be badass.

Bro thinks he’s the boss.

Bro tries to grandpa’s be favorite grandchild. (His grandpa is Kramer)

Bro is a fatass.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

Donald Trump apparently gets that women aren’t going vote for the guy who is an adjudicated rapist and who was “honored” to strip women of the constitutional right to reproductive freedom. It didn’t help that Trump’s hand-picked running mate JD Vance has mocked women without children as “childless cat ladies”  and agreed that the primary role of post-menopausal women is to help raise other people’s children. Consequently, Vice President Harris is crushing Trump when it comes to the support of female voters--especially in key battleground states such as Pennsylvania which shows Harris with 55% of the support of women to Trump’s 41%.

It's so bad for Trump that as Politico reported Friday, the Trump campaign has “given up on the idea that they can get women.” That is why Trump’s new strategy to counter the strong support of women for Harris is to court the “bro vote”--which is young men who are primarily (but not exclusively) white. As Politico notes, “Trump is betting that support from young men will help propel him to the White House.” To that end, Trump has appeared on podcasts that attract a large audience of young men—as we saw this week with his appearance on a podcast hosted by several male comedians. Although that appearance didn’t go as well as Trump had hoped because the headline from it was that one of the co-hosts, comedian Andrew Schulz, literally laughed in Trumps’ face when Trump declared that he’s, “basically a truthful person”

But here’s the spoiler: If Trump is counting on young men to come out in big numbers to save him from the power of female voters, he has already lost.

Before I get into the data, let’s be brutally honest. We all know young men-in fact, I used to be one. No group of people is less reliable than young dudes who are 18 to mid 20’s. Sure, there are exceptions, but as a group, young men are the easiest to distract, least focused people I know. They may tell Trump campaign workers they will vote, but if there is a big game on TV, or someone brings over some weed, a pizza gets delivered, etc., we know what the result will be. They will not stop having fun to get off their couch, travel to the voting location, stand on a line and cast a ballot. The data backs this up. In the 2020 presidential election, guess who came out to vote more: Young women or men? You know the answer.  Fifty five percent of young women cast a ballot compared to just 44% of young men—as documented by Tufts University Center that studies “Youth Voting and Civic Engagement in America.” In fact, that gender gap of 11% more women voting was “true for every racial/ethnic group for which we have reliable data,” as Tufts noted. And it gets worse for Trump. If men and women of all ages turned out to vote in the same percentages, the similar gender gaps we are seeing with Trump leading men and Harris leading women would in essence cancel themselves out. But as the data tells us, that has not been the case for decades.

[...] As opposed to Trump who has gone full “toxic masculinity” and written off attracting more women voters, Harris is still working hard to attract male voters.  In fact, on Friday, Harris’s running mate, Tim Walz, kicked off a campaign to secure more male voters that includes new ads and interviews in Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin focused on hunting and high school football. In addition, the Harris campaign recently roll out endorsements by Hall of Fame athletes. There’s something else at play here that undermines Trump’s “Bro-vote” strategy. The women voting for Harris are not casting a ballot for simply a politician. Many of them are casting a ballot for Harris in the effort to protect their own self-determination. They don’t want Republicans like Trump, JD Vance etc., passing a national law that would force them to carry a fetus against their will. They want to make those type of personal health decisions based on what is right for each of them. In contrast, where is the skin in the game for the young “bros” Trump is courting?! To them it’s nothing more than rooting for a favorite sports team. I would predict the percentage of women who will vote in 2024 will eclipse what we saw in 2020 given this is the first presidential election since Trump/GOP Supreme Court ended Roe v. Wade. It’s actually fitting that women will be leading the charge to defeat Trump—the avatar for misogyny—while making history electing the first female President in our nation’s history

Donald Trump’s bro culture-centric campaign by frequenting podcasts with heavily male audiences that lean right such as Nelk Boys’ Full Send Podcast and Adin Ross’s could end up being either a genius move for him or be the move that kills his chances at the election.

See Also:

Politico: Inside Trump’s push to win over the ‘bro’ vote

[waitmyturtles]

SPOILERS FOR THE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC FIRST EPISODE OF OS2 X BBS

(I’m on the far, far end of the international date line, so hopefully most of y’all have seen it or are close to seeing it...)

I MEAN?!?!?!?! I MEEEEANNNNNN?!?!??!?!?!!?

Maybe I was a little (okay, A LOT) worried that these episodes would feel like an appendage, maybe in kind of the way I felt The Eclipse episodes turned out (but I really need to rewatch those again).

But how could I not trust Aof? It almost seems like he started writing this as soon as he was done with BOTH BBS and ATOTS to put this story together. 

I was getting mixed up in mom brain with @miscellar a few days ago, thinking that there was going to be a body swap thingy, and kind of groaning about it, so I’m SO SO GLAD I WAS WRONG, and that this is going to be set up to be a mini-drama about two couples going through their growth shit. 

I dunno, y’all. What can I say. The MAJORITY of you all have been waiting MUCH LONGER than me to see Pran and Pat reunited, as I only watched Bad Buddy in January, and ATOTS late last year, but still, really -- I have this seriously strong sense of nostalgia that I am so happy to see Pat and Pran HAPPY, and/or at least working on their relationship, AND, JESUS, to see Phupha and TIAN TOGETHER, and omg, THAT MUSIC THAT PLAYED WHEN PHUPHA TURNED HIS HEAD and Pran was googly-eyed, and I was literally DYING AT THIS STARBUCKS, actually covering my mouth with giggles because not only is it so good to see all these guys back, but ALL OF THEM TOGETHER, and acting together, and FUCK, THIS WHOLE TWO-WEEK DEAL IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING GOOD.

Like, this storyline does NOT seem played out. (Listen, I enjoyed PatWai.)

Honestly, I can’t really conjure analysis, LOL. I’m just too overwhelmed. The fucking shots of Chiang Mai and Pha Pun Dao. Pran sticking his hand out of the car and seeing the green hills. PRAN IS THERE, Y’ALL, PRAN. I mean --

IT’S DOUBLE NOSTALGIA TIME. THAT’S WHAT AOF DID, THAT’S WHAT HE’S DOING TO US!!!!!!

GAAAAAHHHHH. I think that’s it. I’m getting hit TWICE, Y’ALL, TWICE WITH THE FEELS! PatPran, PhuphaTian! Flashbacks to Tinidee and Chiang Mai! Campus and hills of tea! It’s too much! Too much for an almost menopausal woman like myself! I’m fuckin’ gonna give myself hot flashes with this shit!

And Tian is SO FEISTY, UGH, and Pat is SO DETERMINED but still making silly mistakes, but being SO HONEST and reflective about those mistakes, and Pran is still such a buggy little SHIT, but has opened up so much, as we can see, to be open and honest about his feelings, while these guys still know and maybe slightly regret that they have to keep things secret.

I FUCKING LOVE THAT THIS EPISODE MADE MULTIPLE REFERENCES TO UNCLE TONG AND THE IMPACT THAT HE HAD ON THEM. THAT THEIR HONEYMOON TRIP WAS THE LAST TIME THEY COULD BE OPEN AND OUT TOGETHER.

I might have more to say later, but I’m just agog right now. This was so well done, at least so far. These guys fucking hauled ass to do this show, I mean, Ohm had finished filming Double Savage like the day before this. I’m shaking my damn head. This was fun, it was flirty, it was emotional, the bros are still fucking bro-ing (WTF KORN, BTW! I mean, did you out them, or was that a slightly homophobic comment?!), it’s filmed BEAUTIFULLY, but what would you expect of Aof otherwise. 

I mean. I just wrote a whole bunch of gibberish, but I honestly have no words. I’m so, so, so, so, so, so, so glad to have all of these guys back, in one place, all four of them, acting together, working together (PAT IN THE CLASSROOM OMFG I’M GONNA DIIEEEEEEE TOMORROWWWWW). 

I’m a CROSSOVER STAN, NO PROBLEMS WITH IT. I AM SUITED AND SEATED FOR IT. Ohm x Nanon x Earth x Mix -- FUCK. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

[stupot]

does anyone ever get, like. offended by life’s audacity to give you a uterus. i’m not talking about dysphoria, i literally mean like. just. exasperated. insulted. dude i don’t want what you’re selling can we drop the whole “time to get inconsolably angry and sad, for no reason at all, for a literal half of your non-menopausal life” thing already. it’s getting old bro

[coldflasher]

Okay I'm sure we all have spent way too much time thinking about speedster biology in various contexts for fic reasons, but you know what I cannot stop thinking about? How does speedster biology affect the menstrual cycle???

It must do, right? It has so many effects on the body---rapid metabolism, speed healing, potentially immortality (let's not open that can of worms again lmao), increased cell reproduction rate, etc. There's no way that it doesn't have some effect on their periods.

We know that speedsters (at least those with penises/testes etc.) can reproduce, so clearly it doesn't cause sufficient havoc to make them infertile---though there is some evidence to suggest that it could make it harder to conceive, since it takes Barry and Iris quite a while to get pregnant with Nora (interesting, since I always kinda figured speedster biology would increase the sperm count, but that's probs more to do with fandom brain rot making me convinced speedsters have a higher libido; not sure there was ever any canon evidence of that).

Realistically they probably did this for TV reasons, because by the rules of fiction, TV characters get pregnant easily when they do not want to, but if they're trying, then it will be incredibly difficult and take months to the point that they're like "ugh, we have to have sex AGAIN i guess even though we'd rather be doing literally anything else" (I'm looking at you Flash AND B99, I hate this trope, if sex is becoming a chore maybe you should uh. not do it for a while?)

Also, Jay Garrick and Joan, the only other speedster/normal person couple we know, don't have kids that we know of. Again, maybe they just didn't want them, maybe they met after Joan was menopausal, not sure we ever got confirmation either way, but that could be a point towards the speedforce affecting the reproductive system.

Anyways, either way the show doesn't address how speedster biology affects periods. They probably never thought about it, honestly; everyone knows characters on TV don't have periods, they figure out they're pregnant due to sudden random morning sickness, not a tampon or period tracking app in sight. But EYE am thinking about it.

If every process in the body speeds up, do they have more frequent periods that are just over really quickly? (Not sure if this would be better or worse than the usual kind? Probably worse, defo more annoying.) And if so, what is the hormonal cycle like? Are some speedsters going through mini PMS cycles on a weekly basis? (My thoughts and prayers are with them if so.) Are their periods super irregular? Do their periods maybe stop entirely at some points, due to the strain of constantly running around and the struggle of eating enough to maintain the body weight required to stay regular? This is something that happens with regular old athletes, so it could definitely happen to a speedster that burns a huge amount of calories and is EXTREMELY physically active.

Also, does the healing factor affect the duration of the period? That's one point in favour of a faster cycle, maybe a lighter flow, reduced cramps?? Imagine how much those period hunger cravings would suck when you already have to eat like 15000 calories a day! Like if I, as a person with a standard metabolism, feel the urge to devour everything in sight at that time of the month, how much worse would it be as a speedster for whom "constantly starving" is the default?

Of course, the most boring option is that they're just normal periods, and that's probably what the writers would say, if pushed. that's the coward's answer, tbh, but hey, maybe their periods are normal.  We never see any of the female speedsters on the show attempt to get pregnant, so again, we can't say if they would have difficulties, maybe they'd ovulate totally normally. Maybe Barry and Iris had issues just because sometimes people do just struggle to get pregnant for whatever reason. either way, it's SO interesting to think about.

Anyway this ramble was brought to you by me working on a fic where Iris becomes the Flash instead of Barry and making a throwaway reference to her having PMS and then being like WAIT. WHAT HAPPENS TO HER PERIOD. INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW.

[jelly-flesh]

Coworker Quotes

(At this point just expect me to always be behind)

Fruit: What if I was a disabled horse?

————————————————————————

Me: I’m going to Minnisotaaaaaa.

Nike: Where in Minnesota?

Me: The twin towers.

————————————————————————

Nyan Cat: How are you doing?

Lamp: You’re what?

————————————————————————

Nike: If my convention was run by stealy-mc-conman, I’d be suspicious.

————————————————————————

Nike: Optimus Prime? More like optimize profits.

————————————————————————

Nyan Cat: How do you forget your kids?

Fruit: I don’t know ask my mom, she’s good at that.

————————————————————————

Ram: 9/11 was just for the plot.

————————————————————————

Chair: Felt like I should be gagged right now.

————————————————————————

Superman: Only Chair makes me cry.

Chair: I’ll do it again, bop bop!

————————————————————————

Chair: He’s such a twink.

————————————————————————

Superman: Manotawk?

Chair: Did you say menopause?

————————————————————————

Superman: Bro, he pooped on my floor this morning.

————————————————————————

Nike: Would you eat that?

Superman: No, it’s way to healthy.

————————————————————————

Someone passing: Hey grandpa!

Superman: I hate myself.

————————————————————————

Chair: Do you think I’m a basic white girl.

Me and Superman: Yes.

————————————————————————

Nike: What does this mean for us?

Me: It means we’re autistic.

————————————————————————

Fruit: Plain and straight, just like you.

————————————————————————

[space-mermaid-writing]

The witchling and the god [Loki x Witch!Reader] Chapter 14

Summary: The Avengers were looking for someone to help Loki fit in with the team. To become socially acceptable, so to speak. He had been given the choice of sitting in a cell in Asgard or serving some sort of community service probation on Midgard. The Avengers and Shield both felt that as long as Loki was on Earth, he should be under supervision. This is now your job. Why? Because you’re a witch. You’re not sure why this qualifies you, but here you are, giving it a shot. What could possibly go wrong?

Tags: Witch!Reader, Magic, Witches, slow burn, everybody lives in the tower, character development, Loki‘s redemption, Stephen Strange is a friend, Loki and Stephen are frenemies, Tony Stark is a good bro, kids love Loki, Tony has stupid nicknames for everybody, eventual smut

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Read it on AO3 | Previous | Next

Chapter's Note: It’s about time we introduce your family! Beta by @zaria-04

Chapter 14: Siblings give good advice

You touch a rune on the frame of your pantry door and step through. It leads you into your older sister's hallway. It's still early in the morning and due to the time difference, you don't have to be in New York until the afternoon.

You called her in advance, so she is not surprised by your appearance and welcomes you with a warm hug.

"Ding Dong, Bell," you greet her grinning.

Actually, your sister's name is Essebell. But while the name was quite popular in the 17th and 18th centuries, today it falls under exotic. Whenever your sister moves, she also changes her name every few decades in the process to be less noticeable. Everything from Ellsabeth to Isabell has been used. Right now she's using a neutral Elizabeth. You never got out of the habit of using this specific nickname for her. A privilege between siblings.

She leads you into the living room and serves you a white wine for brunch. French people.

She's wearing a long-sleeved dress that is popular in the local fashion, but you see her tattoos peeking out at her wrists and neckline, and discover a fairly new one on her throat. You know her whole arms and part of her calves are full of them.

"How are you?" she asks you as you sit down with that special sibling tone. She's long known you're here because you need your sister's advice, maybe a shoulder to lean on or just a tight hug.

You automatically respond with the same phrase you always use. "I'm fine." Even as the words leave your mouth, you know they're not true and that you don't need to fool your sister. But stubborn as you are, you don't want to admit it, which is why you add in response to her unconvinced look: "Well, I've had a stressful week, but we can talk about that in a minute. Tell me about yourself first. How's Jacques?"

"He's at work. There's a new, time-consuming project," Elizabeth tells me. Her husband is an architect who specializes in traditional building methods in the old timbered style. The last few years, it seems, that's been in quite a bit of demand. Goes along with the back to the roots movement, you guess.

Elizabeth sighs.

"We don't see each other that much right now. There have been arguments about it. Especially since we've been trying for kids for so long."

You nod in understanding. "You guys have time," you reassure her, "You don't suddenly have your menopause at forty."

"True, but he still ages normally. And this whole ‘I'll live so much longer than him' thing doesn't make it any easier."

That's always the risk when a witch gets involved with a mere mortal. Your sister knew that ahead of time and still chose Jacques. For him, the issue came as a bit more of a surprise, but he's still standing by her side. And that's saying a lot.

You've been through this too. It always ends in pain, but if the love is strong enough, it's worth it. Otherwise, you or your siblings wouldn't necessarily have been born either. All your fathers were without magic, all long since buried.

"Well, I've complained enough," your sister decides. "Now it's your turn."

You chuckle. Elizabeth likes to let the older sister hang out. "I met someone at work," you tell her and she perks up. "He's from another world and he's also magically gifted. It's complicated, I'm not quite sure of his intentions. He's a big flirt. We kissed yesterday and I kinda panicked."

"Aw, my baby sister plays coy."

"Shut up!" You don't mean it as harshly as you say it. It's just friendly sibling banter. "I don't know what to do."

Elizabeth takes a sip of wine. "I do," she says simply. "Have fun. Enjoy it. You like him, don't you? You wouldn't tell me about him otherwise."

"Yeah…"

"Then go get him." She smiles at you like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "He seems into you. And why shouldn’t he? I mean, you are kind and sexy and-…"

"Don't say it," you plea.

"… magical."

You groan, but can't help but laugh. Elizabeth always knows just the right words to cheer you up. Even if it's a cheesy joke. "We work together. What if he breaks my heart?" you ask her.

"Then quit the job and curse him. Nothing major, just spoil his favorite food, make it rot when he eats it." She pours herself more wine. "That's what I did with Léon after he cheated. Major douchebag. He later married her and had five grandchildren. Could never eat potatoes again."

"Wasn't that the one that got shot in the first World War and always talked about the weirdly shaped scar on his leg," you remember.

"Yes, the very one!"

You shake your head as you think back to the man. You and your sister's taste in men is very different.

You chat a bit more about past lovers and people you both once knew, before it's time for you to head off to work. You're already feeling better. It always helps to talk to your siblings when something is on your mind. Especially your big sister.

When you enter the Prince's Suite shortly after, you meet Thor standing in the kitchen. It's rare that you see him here in the mornings, mostly he stays away to give Loki and you privacy for your work – even if it doesn’t really feel like work anymore. Hasn’t for quite a while.

Thor knows that his brother, as much as he loves him, sometimes acts differently around him.

"Greetings, Lady Witch."

"Hello Thor," you greet him happily. You look around the otherwise empty living area for a moment, then walk over to the kitchen counter. "Is Loki not here?"

"He should be in these chambers. Did you two fight?" Thor asks. He's perceptive – maybe he knows his brother all too well. "Did he do something wrong?"

"Why does everyone always think Loki is the one who did something wrong?" You're not sure whether to be amused or annoyed by his question. Especially from Thor, you would have expected something else.

He eyes you curiously. "What are your intentions with Loki?"

"Why do you ask? Did he say something?" Now it's you who's looking at him curiously.

But Thor merely shrugs his shoulders. "I'm just curious."

You hesitate with your answer, letting your eyes wander over the open space once more. Loki has never skipped a meeting before. It's unusual for him. So far, he has always been present in one form or another. Did your behavior yesterday affect him that much? Did he just make himself invisible and wait until you two were alone? You turn your head back to Thor and notice that he is watching you. You have no idea what he's actually doing here in the kitchen, he's not preparing any food or seems otherwise busy.

"Hey Thor, do you remember when we talked about the thing?"

Thinking, he draws his brows together. "Please enlighten me: to which thing exactly are you referring?"

You circle the kitchen counter, lowering your voice a bit so no one else can hear your voice – as if you are about to tell a secret. "That time I told you I had a crush on you because you're the most handsome person I've ever laid my eyes upon. But you said that you don't reciprocate the feelings – but maybe with some time…" With each word you step closer to him.

Thor's expression changes from confused to disbelieving within a few seconds. For a brief moment you fear that you are wrong in your assumption, that you have misjudged the situation. But then you see a shock flash across his face. Anger. He tries to pull himself together, to give a neutral answer.

"My…opinion about that hasn't changed… " he grumbles dismissively, taking a step back.

You can't stifle your grin any longer. It seems to confuse him even more. You were right! "Your Thor imitation is great. A flawless imitation," you chuckle. “Could have fooled me.”

He looks at you with a mixture of surprise and confusion and then – in front of your eyes – Thor transforms back into Loki. "What gave it away?" he asks.

"You, meaning Loki, were not here," you explain, "Why did you do that?"

"I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me today," he admits and for maybe the first time ever, he seems almost unsure.

"I understand that. But I came here to see you, not Thor nor anyone else. Yesterday I didn't tell you to leave because I was upset or angry, just overwhelmed. I needed time to think."

"And what conclusion did you come to after thinking?"

"Like I said: I like your company. A lot actually. We had a tough start when we first met and I guess I'm afraid that this is just one of your games. That you're toying with me."

Loki looks at you, his eyes soft. They are filled with such fondness that you never saw in them before. "I can assure you, Witchling, whatever my intention was at the beginning, this is not a game for me. I value your company, but if you choose to keep our relationship professional, I will respect your choice."

He puts the decision in your hands. You weigh it seriously – Loki offers you an easy way out. Everything would stay the same, you two would probably never speak of it again. You would remain in control. It would be safe, familiar. Alone. Boring.

You remember the conversation with your sister.

"I'm done hiding. I don't know where this will lead or how it will end, but I'm ready to find out."

Loki's lips turn into a genuine smile. "Look at you, Witchling, embracing the chaos.”

"It's scary," you admit.

"It's liberating, isn't it?" Before you can answer, Loki kisses you, his lips soft and hot against yours. He kisses you, just a soft press that is enough to ignite your whole body. You know you made the right decision.

You briefly detach yourself from him, because you still want to clarify one thing. "Just for the record: I never had such a thing with Thor."

"Good," Loki growls, "I don't share with my brother."

"Is that a promise?"

"It's also a threat." As if to punctuate his words, he kisses you again. More heated this time. You throw away your last doubts and let yourself fall completely. Loki puts his arms around you, pulling you close to him. His tongue demands entrance, which you are only too happy to grant.

Right now you don't even care if the real Thor would step in and see you two. It's exciting – and surprisingly easy.

Loki's mouth moves to your ear. "If we're going to continue this, we should move to my private chambers," he murmurs, giving you a wet kiss on the crook of your neck. You tilt your head a little to the side to make more room for him.

"As tempting as that is, we have work to do," you remind him, but make no move to stop him.

Loki grins broadly. "I am your work. Do me."

It's a cheesy joke and it's so unexpected, it cracks you up. You laugh freely, burying your face in Loki's chest as you do so. It's the reaction he wanted, as Loki watches you with a mixture of satisfaction and awe.

"I intend to do that. Later," you wink at him.

"I hold you to that promise, Witchling."

You're about to suggest making some tea when the door opens and Thor comes into the suite. He sees the two of you standing in the kitchen, close together. A meaningful grin creeps onto his lips, but an honest one. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Loki rolls his eyes. "Yes, you are. Your timing is very inconvenient."

"Have you told her about the meeting yet?" Thor asks his brother.

"I have not" Loki sounds slightly annoyed and you look at him questioningly.

"What meeting?"

But in his place it is Thor again who happily answers. "My brother will accompany me and the Avengers on future adventures.

Loki turns to him. "Could you leave and let me have this conversation alone with my lady?"

This new nickname makes your heart leap. Thor doesn't move from the spot, but he remains silent and lets his brother speak. Loki turns back to you. "Apparently they met yesterday during my absence and discussed the matter. They informed me this morning. I thought it would be a good opportunity to see if your work bears any fruits so I agreed," he explains matter-of-factly.

It surprises you a little that you don't know anything about this meeting. On the other hand, you haven't been in the compound for two days, haven't even checked your emails. So it's quite possible that you simply overlooked it.

Fruit of your work, like he agreed just for you, maybe even just because of yesterday. But most of the work here was done by Loki himself. You're just keeping him company and pointing him in the right direction.

You put your hand on his, which he has placed on the kitchen counter and beam at him. "That's fantastic. You'll do great!"

"Of course I will. I'm a god," he replies, but secretly he's happy about your praise. He is just awkward about it and tries to dismiss it. Actually, he finds the prospect of getting out of the tower more often, of finally doing something again, of being back in the field, so to speak, quite appealing. Even if he has to put up with the presence of these so-called heroes. But as long as you stay by his side, even that will be acceptable.

The mission in Los Angeles reminded him that he's not just a prince who rests on his comfortable cushion. He likes the adrenaline and the feeling of adventure. Norse blood runs through his veins.

"We should celebrate," you suggest, and Thor nods vigorously.

"I agree."

"We can celebrate once we have actually completed a mission successfully," Loki objects, but puts his arm around your waist and pulls you close to him. He is happy with the outcome of this morning and sneaks a kiss on your head.

____________________________

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[wordsarefakeokay]

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like white picket fences and 2.5 kids

What about a dog in the backyard and BBQs on the weekend

Knowing all your neighbors names and having the HOA on speed dial

Does it taste like the life you want to live?

Are the HOA in your contacts because they keep calling you

Or are you calling them

Does that complicated C word taste the homogeneity in your neighborhood

Where the police arrive in 2 seconds flat, with a gate and a patrol to match

Does it taste like "I'll wait here for your manager" and weekends at the golf course

Does it taste like a martini because the trophy spouse has a long day?

Does it taste like security cams and a ranch on the property with the stable boys and the guest house to the side with the cabana ones?

Does it taste like equestrianship is in your blood from birth? What about fencing?

Does it taste like ivy league vines crawling up babies spines from birth?

Does it taste like "Harvard is your dream not mine" and then rebellion

Does rebellion look like a fully funded backpack trip to Europe with your first great love

Or does it look like "I'm going to work for my parents equally rich rival company"

Or does it look like different freedom, independence, simply a different life

Where you can still ask your parents for money because you reached a happy ever after in the movie

What does capitalism taste like

Happily ever after is fake for us real folks so it must hold true for those up top right?

People in gated communities who's stepford mother's figures are earned with the local book club

Who's menopause kicks in at the same pace because we're all just clucking hens bonding together aren't we

Aren't we all just girls looking to connect with other girls in line for the bathroom?

Let's be honest, we all have some kind of mommy issue don't we? #justgirlythings

And what about the men? Is it really just an opportunity to measure up?

Is it a subtle side eye to measure manhood, even tho bro code states "thou must not make eye contact with another bro I'm the bathroom"

Doe you feel like enough when you see a guy like your ex is now dating

Do you feel reassured when you notice your manhood is better?

Why does size matter?

Why am I automatically called "a little lady" by cowboys who are raised to believe "bigger in Texas" really means better

Is this what capitalism does

Does "be a man" follow men into the bathroom like "don't be a pussy" does for women?

Why must public communal bathrooms make us decide a gender right at that moment

Can't we measure a bathroom by the content of their room?

Stalls or urinals? Privacy or not? Right this way fellow citizen

Citizen. Human. Person. Life.

What does capitalism taste like

Does it taste like legislation against the gays?

No cakes no websites no space no homos

No healthcare no rights no sports pro bono

Hare dare anyone use pronouns! Fake news!

Them libs want you to think you can be referred to anything but your name. It's the devil's work

Didnt you hear that song? Call me by your name? He was a devil in the music I daresay! The devil!!

I'd let the devil fuck me

At least he would treat me right and show me a good time

What has capitalism done

This thing we fought for so that all our founders' legacies might have a future

Future away from tyranny and taxation and being slaves to our king

We have no kind any more, no crown jewels to protect, but we act the same

Why is the one who's always on top always the winner who writes the history

The winner who's educated

from a family with money

who were taught good Christian values

with a fencing rapier in hand and

Shakespeare in their veins

Is this what capitalism does

Dilutes us to the elite

Homogeneous suburbia and "all you need is fairy tales and you can be rich too"

Political correctness and "just find a man to solve your problems"

Register to vote and "be a man or you're not good enough"

It's not just little girls who get told their not good enough

The gender non conforming community has definitely unlocked a whole cheat code on life

That and the furries who have been the scientific backbone of this country for eons

But why do my apples taste not like what an apple tree looks like in the movies?

The one in the corner of Mamma Mia on the isle in Greece

Where my problems were solved by not getting married but traveling the world as a skinny white woman with her Kenough manly man

Singing voice for character wink

Why don't my apples taste like those on the Grecian island where the stories of the locals are forgotten to the American story, the American dream

I escaped my mom and became one myself

I'm a self made woman now

With a mortgage she can't pay and life problems that were clearly solved by marrying the man who hurt her the most in life

Why doesn't my apple taste like how that apple tree looks?

Why doesn't it taste like the apple from the garden?

Why doesn't it taste like the freedom eve must have felt when she disobeyed

Why is the taste of temptation diluted in my cheap apple from the superstore in the fruit section

Does it taste like pesticide and FDA regulations

Who keeps them in check? The CDC? WHO?

The DOJ or FBI or NAFTA or the Geneva convention

Was it a Geneva suggestion or a line from the treaty of Versailles or did agent orange bring us here

How many babies were born deformed before I ate this apple

And how many nat GMO products have I consumed that my human body has endured?

What does capitalism taste like? Because I swear, remaining tribal lands must not be like this

Forgotten poor African villages eat different

Forgotten poor native south America cultures remain intact on top of mountains that the white or Spanish or French have not yet learned to monetize

And now they will never because the people on the ground know better and are stronger

And capitalism stays the same

Progress is progress no matter how small

But all this progress

Is it good for us

Good for our taste buds

They say to beware vaccines and microchips but aren't we already a cyborg because we carry a favored microchip in our hands?

The ones we avoid calls from home on and instead laugh at cat videos

We share, bare our souls online to strangers but the people in our lives could never break our pokerface

But if we were born this way

Would we ever know what capitalism tastes like

If we don't ask someone else?

Does capitalism taste like the additive sugar in a fun size bar of crunch

Does it taste like the chocolate take over energy found in the Nestle headquarters

Or does it taste like the cocaine they put into coca cola to keep people buying more

I'm not convinced that the girl scouts didn't take that idea for themselves

Does capitalism taste like the working conditions of these massive corporate overlords

Or the factories where they bottle and bag and package comfort for 1.25

Does it taste the endless metallic conveyor belts

Or the chance that peanuts were used in any of those products

Does it taste like our countries trade deal for cheap products made from other companies

Does it taste like the the sweat shops that make your favorite new shirt or those fashionable high tops

Does it take like the abused labor that built this country

Does it taste like all the ghost statues of people who should have been memorialized instead of forgettable white men from history

Does it taste like the rust they should have earned all along

Or does it taste like the pain of forgotten artists

The heart of Harlem the beasts of Boston the cheeps of the Cherokee

Does it sound like the ones who's names we forget

The neglected breaks of the Oregon trail the gentrification of the only pockets of culture in this country

The Japanese internment camps

Border patrol and the place where there was almost a wall

Are the tears of all the family members of witches still a part of Salem

What about the hurt caused by the fights for gender equality that excluded black women

Does capitalism taste like Jim Crow or strange fruit

Just because it's rotting in the back doesn't mean it's in our past

These caged birds still sing can't you hear?

I fear for my brother and my niece and my nephew daily, their lives matter too

Friends neighbors family

They're still part of your labor or did you forget what The 13th taught us

Toni Morrison, Frederick Douglas

Miles Davis, Billie Holliday

MLK and Malcom X

HER and Missy Elliott

They run in our veins

The revolution is not televised

Stonewall certainly can't be told by anyone else

Nor can we forget the power of black trans women in the creation of pride spaces

What about the flyover cities that are meant for rural living with signs screaming "no airport here"

The pain of the indigenous people who's land a mindless mall was built over

Being given back land that belonged to those born here ages past

Ancestral home can be yours with a side of steak knives

And while I'm here can I interest you in the Book of Mormon

What about their tears? Their blood their breaks their pain

Does capitalism taste like that?

The endless lost even now and memorialized in art with a red handprint to their portrait

The lack of water and resources to land promised back

Ancestral home returned but you're on your own. Unless you're ready to hear about our Lord and savior

When will we realize we aren't a savior to begin with

Is this what capitalism tastes like?

Institutions built for white people who forgot that the land isn't theirs and never was

Home of the brave where those with the most force and money can get anywhere

We're the underdogs, the land of opportunity, come on by

You just have to follow these few simple rules

So if you're not perfect or cookie cutter, don't worry we'll just sand around the edges

So you'll fit into these boxes and society can know what to do with you

But if you're too much or not enough be ready to hate the rest of your days here

Welcome to the country of goldilocks and fuck you if you're not "just right"

What does capitalism taste like for you?

[firsttarotreader]

Girl, what a week on LSA, I tell you 🥴🤣 and all because one of the girls brought up that Lena tweet! I never thought a 100 years old subject still makes one or two people go apeshit LOL as soon as the girls started to talk about it and one or two people saw it and noticed the girls all had a consensus that Lena and Pedro were indeed a thing they went there, shat on their hands and threw it all over the place, all because the girls dared to talk about... a woman! 😏 and these folks still think they can fool anyone by playing the unphased bitch and be like "ah please, I dont care, YOU crazy, me not" LOL all the girls in that forum, the ones that post and the dozens and dozens that lurk already know who is the insane stalker having a menopause crisis and they also know that all these people do all day IS to care. There is NOTHING they say that will be believed, compulsive liars can fuck off. The majority of this fandom is having a BLAST, and we will bring up women as much as we want 😎

Bro, it was so so obvious what really made her go berserk on the thread this week. 🤣🤣🤣 But also keep in mind we have young fans as weirdos too, okay? We have weirdos of different ages! 👀 And we can bring up people of all genders, things just need to at least make sense to be talked about. 🤣🤣🤣

[knackfandomarchive]

I agree with your bro, Lucas seems 16-17 in the first game (very stubborn teenager energy), and I'd surmise there was a 5 year gap between games (seemingly since The Boys™ aren't living with the doc anymore). For everyone else I'd say in the first one:

Ryder - 30 (or late 20s, early 30s)

Doc - 58

Charlotte - 54

Katarina - 26

That's just the vibes though lol

Yeah, Lucas is hard to figure out. The way he acts in the first game vs the second is way different, and trying to reconcile what the other characters say is hard. At one point, I did believe he was 15 in the first and about 20 in the second. I even had a sort of gag line that also hurt my heart, when Knack is in Xander’s dungeon and he gets sad about possibly missing Lucas’s 21st birthday.

I'd probably have to make a whole post examining the games and such; trying to type it up here gets pretty wall-of-texty. There's plenty of evidence to make several different cases. My quick explanation is that the doctor's complaining in 1 made it seem like Lucas just got into the throes of puberty, about middle-school age (and middle school sucks!) Hence 12. And Lucas's complaining of Charlotte's mothering in 2 seemed like something a mid-teen would say.

How old might one expect a "youth leader" like Ava to be?

I definitely agree that Ryder is in his late 20s or early 30s, and Katrina’s age seems reasonable to be mid 20s. Just based on vibes.

I haven't yet decided how old Charlotte and the Doctor are. From what I've heard, menopause does some crazy stuff.

(Now I'm wondering how old Viktor is, considering some of his dialogue about seemingly knowing what the Doctor was like before Charlotte)

Anyway, thank you so much for sharing! 😊

[takeonmetakemeon]

Because I just read part of a column that suggested the Democratic Party stepped in to keep Bernie Sanders from winning the nomination in 2020, I am once again going to point out why that's garbage and needs to be retired.

The first few nominating contests were tilted in Sanders' favor. Iowa and Nevada were caucuses, not primaries. Sanders had previously done much better in caucuses. The only primary in those first three contests was in New Hampshire, a ridiculously tiny state that shares what passes for its long border with his equally tiny state.

Rep. Clyburn did not and does not have the power to sway the votes of most Black voters in South Carolina. Black voters are not sheep who do what they're told. The vast majority were voting for Biden regardless.

The result in all of those first four contests was predictable. The whole election outcome was predictable, frankly.

Giving Sanders' victories in the first three contests any kind of national importance was journalistic malpractice. Repeating it now borders on propaganda.

There is a strong anti-Hillary contingent among political nerds and I am sick of it. It's been eight years and they still cannot let it go.

Look, Hillary Clinton won the popular vote and lost the election by a small number of votes in a few states. Four years later, Joe Biden won the election by a smaller number of votes in a few different states. *After* voters had lived through four years of Donald Trump's unpopular leadership.

But Biden consistently did better against Trump than Sanders did in opinion polls from the time pollsters began asking the question.

Biden was the better choice. And if he was, then so was Hillary, who had almost the same result but in a year that naturally favored Republicans. Biden claimed he could have won in 2016, but he barely won in 2020 when the political environment was more favorable for Democrats. He was wrong. It shouldn't shock anyone. He was wrong about his chances compared to Harris's, too.

Hillary Clinton won the nomination because more Democrats wanted her. And then she lost to an opponent who was more popular than you want to believe. You don't understand how other people view either of them.

Let go of "Bernie would have won" and join us in the real world, where Hillary Clinton was not a flawed, unlikable candidate or the only Democrat Donald Trump could have beaten. Where internet bros have limited reach. Where people don't know what a subreddit is, don't know what YATA stands for and don't care when they find out. Where people think J.D. Vance is an idiot because every sentence he speaks sounds like he does. WhEre tYpInG lIkE tHiS hAs nO mEAniNG. Where post-menopausal women not only outnumber barely post-adolescence men who think 30 is old, but also outnumber men who think 30 is barely adult. Where Black voters who judge candidates by additional rules you don't seem to know about much less understand have an actual say. Who don't have to argue about whether or not it's pandering to say you carry hot sauce in your purse. In other words, a world where people voted for Hillary Clinton—and Joe Biden—by choice.

Additionally, Trump did not remake the Republican Party in his image. He won the nomination precisely because he had more support than long-serving leaders. Party leaders fell in line when they understood that and saw that he could win. You don't need to make up any other story to explain what's happened.

And did party leaders push Biden to step aside? Yes. But they didn't exactly do it in the face of widespread opposition by Democratic voters, or donors, or—most of all—media folks like you.

There is no one behind the scenes controlling the political process.

Honestly.

[rueclfer]

My friends boyfriend was bitching to me about her, asked me to keep it a secret, so I did (Idfk why), proceeded to announce my crush on this boy to everyone (EVEN THOUGH I WAS KEEPING HIS SECRET FOR HIM), so I told my friend what he said, she made a joke about him venting to me (this was after they broke up), he got pissy, SLAPPED ME, so I poured water on him as payback because I’m not about to touch his menopausal looking middle aged woman ass, and then he poured water all over me back. Like bro wtf, did you get intellectually mollested?? What the hell is wrong with you. He also went around telling everyone I was depressed. Like I’ve known you maybe 14 years and you do that???

Like I kept your secret for you and you do that? I’ve lost all hope in men honestly 🤓. They are all bad people. I haven’t had a single male be good and then stay good. Also told people I was a lesbian, which like when did I ever say anything to make you think that?? 🤨🤨 sorry for the rant I just need to get it out my system.

- 🥀

this is so appalling bc the moment a man put his hands on me in going to prison

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent/endometriosis/on mobile idk/suicide mention

There's seriously something really ironic in the most fucked up ways about being a guy, but being trans, but also having endometriosis that has caused lifelong trauma, but getting a hysterectomy and feeling better, but then the pain comes back, but going on meds that make it better, but then the meds stop working.

There is literally nothing I can do to escape the presence of uterine tissue in my body. I literally have a piece of my uterus framed on my wall to be like, "I survived, mothafucka." And yet, somehow, it keeps coming back like a fucking slasher movie villain. No one wants to see this sequel. Especially not me. I just want to be a normal dude, and not internally bleed from God knows where my body decided to start regrowing a uterus literally just to spite me.

I fucking hate this shit so much. I literally JUST got over the trauma of the last episode that happened just over a year ago. I can't go back to daily panic attacks again, but I do not know how I am supposed to survive when my body pain is at an 11/10. Menstual/cramping is literally the only pain I cannot tolerate. I have broken a toe and gone out to go dancing right after. I've torn the padding in my shoulder and kept lifting weights. I have arthritis and fibromyalgia and tmj problems and chronic headaches. But cramping? I almost kmsed during the last episode, but I was in too much pain to move and find anything to do it with.

How the fuck am I supposed to live with this curse for the rest of my life?? Because guess what, menopause isn't even a way out - people with endo can still have endo problems even after going through menopause. I can say I'll probably be in that camp because the meds I've been on simulate menopause and here I am suffering yet again.

I looked it up whether starting T would do anything and the only answers I got were 'there's no data available' (lmao why does society hate trans people), or 'your body still produces some estrogen while on T, so you could technically still grow endometrial tissue.' Like thanks, that was like my one and only hope that, if I just come out to my family and start T maybe it would get my body to shut up about uteruses, but apparently that's not a solution.

I don't even know what to fucking do right now. I know my doctor isn't gonna have a solution either, because this med was supposed to be a 'fix' and when I come off it later this year, it was supposed to last me a while until the pain comes back, BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN STOPPED TAKING THE MED YET AND ALREADY I'M SUFFERING. I can't fucking do this. Lmao, okay I'm panicking. Stop thinking about dying lmao.

I hate this so much. I'm a guy, and then it's like I'm being punished with woman disease. Can't look up anything about endometriosis without being reminded that 'endometriosis is a condition that affects WOMEN.' Literally the only thing I have serious dysphoria about was having a uterus (and my voice), everything else I could manage or just accept even if I didn't like it. And of course, I'm stuck with a body that's gradually growing me more uteruses. 'Oh, hey, you dropped your uterus, have another. Wait, I hit ctrl+V a thousand times, sorry, bro.'

Brb gonna go die of internal bleeding, I guess?? Where does the blood even go?? I don't have a uterus, and IDK where the fuck the cells are. I swear it feels like they're growing on my pelvis and intestines. I don't even want to know if endometrial cells can grow on bones. That knowledge would devastate me.

I wish I could have enjoyed 2020 more. After I healed from the hysto, it was like, the best time of my life. No more pain during penetration, no fear of period blood, no worries about getting pregnant, no cramps at all, I felt so free.

Now, I feel like I don't even have a life to look forward to. I literally just started turning things around with a new psych med and taking up drawing and writing again. And now I'm gonna constantly be on edge waiting for the next episode to rip its way through my body. I don't want to do this.