#what im trying to say is

[arachred]

alright. its been a few months. i need an update on how the klance resurgence is fairing. are there still people here? did we all move on to different hyperfixations again? should i start posting more stupid headcanons or do i start switching it up?

[bunniefemcel]

the best sex is the kind you didn’t ask for <3

[a-confused-wizard]

"Be good to your wives, give them what they need. And the kingdom of heaven will be at hand" - Good old Revs Putty

[splo0shh]

"Why me?" "Why not you?"

[saccharine-dean]

i need to see more of huntercorp winchesters i cannot die easy until i have seen what these preppy pretentious assholes looked like in their teen years when they were probably off at some awful private school

[whydontyourealize-viennawaits4u]

Season 4 makes Season 3 look like Saeson 1/Season 2

[afoolandathief]

Need to get this thought out of my head: While I love that Tumblr has already anthropomorphized the Reddit » Tumblr migration as an MLM hurt/comfort extravaganza, I do think if anthropomorphized Tumblr is largely seen as a former quirky, blue-haired girl who transitioned to a weird little guy, Reddit deserves to be a former weird little guy who transitioned to a hot gamer girl with cat-ear headphones.

[hamletthedane]

No better way to get into the holiday spirit every year than listening to an audio drama from 2002 about a Victorian murder mystery set at Christmas where the narrative slowly folds in on itself and winds in circles around the characters until it turns into a horror genre mindfuck timeloop and also a doctor who episode.

[sangheilihoes]

Since it's the new year, I just wanna pop in and say I'm incredibly lucky to have all my mutuals! I had a somewhat shitty year, things kinda got better in the end but overall it could have been better. But you guys were a constant in my life, even if you didn't know it. Seeing your posts, your art, writing, all of it always put a smile on my face on the worst of days. I hope you guys had a better year than me. if you didn't, hopefully the next year will be better for you! I love you guys🧡💛💚💙💜

❤️Tagging❤️

@ostallaz @darialovesstuff @nimrada @tiftaf-the-world-jumper @huepazu @hidden-scarlet-whispers @optimus-prime-is-a-thot @darthvaderofmiddle-earth @upwards-descent @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @shnnn @tbonechessor @chadillacboseman @alphaminor128 @o-i-have-too @mudz-does-not-exist @madangel19 @2bagelsinatrenchcoat @manicpixiedreamsaren @oogelyboogely @ari-dark-raiden-simp and everyone else whose names i forgor 🥰

[internetcatholicism]

Our clearest mirror is love in suffering.

As we suffer with love we reflect the Lord and in doing so we behold His image which is our selves.

St. Lucia ora pro nobis

[kreature-ofthenight]

I pry open my soul and tear out the little piece of god they put in there and set myself free

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[kinoshitayuri]

my twitter feed is full of doujin making / publishing in the west vs japan. like the how there's minimal crowd who makes and published fan/original comics due to how expensive it tabling is. Resulting making people prioritising making their money return - selling merch instead of making themselves be out there - selling artbook as portfolios, comics to show your storytelling skills.

it makes me mad.

[kaurwreck]

Not only can he sense the Agency members within the influence of All Men Are Created Equal, we only know this because he was certain Kunikida hadn't died after leaping from a helicopter, tackling Tetchou, and unpinning a grenade. In other words, he knows this because Kunikida was okay before, even in impossible circumstances.

While drafting the post above, I was caught on the spider's silk imagery precisely because although delicate in appearance, spider's silk is, pound for pound, can withstand more force than some types of steel. Its tehensile strength (amount of stress a material is capable of withstanding before breaking) and ductility (stretchiness/ability to be pulled without breaking) means it can absorb 3x as much force as Kevlar.

Kunikida measures himself by his limitations and is hyperaware of his own sensitivity. In Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam, he acknowledges that his skill, while "versatile and highly valuable... doesn't quite exceed the realm of convenience." To Sasaki, he admits, "...The first time someone died on the job, I cried so much that I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't even call the Agency to tell them I wasn't coming in. I thought I would never recover."

Then, crucially, he reflects, "And yet, now I don't even shed a single tear. That's why I come here instead. I feel like I need to do something so that the victims can rest in peace."

This urge he has to strive within and not against reality is why Ranpo notes after Fyodor sought to break Kunikida by stoking children into such terror, they forced Kunikida to incapacitate them with and amid gunfire and killed themselves when he sought to soothe them:

Although Kunikida considers his skill to be merely convenient, his ingenuity, tenacity, and expansive mind allowed him to prevail over Akutagawa, whose skill is nearly if not already transcendent, such that Akutagawa admitted, "Looks like I was wrong about the Armed Detective Agency.... This is wonderful. Truly wonderful."

Dazai said, "Kunikida, people who believe there is a right and a wrong—people who believe in the existence of an ideal world—they're the ones who end up resenting the world and hurting those around them when things don't go the way they want.... When those ideals and beliefs are carried out, the victims are the weak and defenseless. A cry for righteousness is like a sword. Just as it may harm the weak, it will also never be able to protect and save them."

Dazai is thinking of several people, but I imagine among them is Mori. Mori believes he can carve order from chaos and does so through violence so vicious it cuts those he loves. Dazai is correct in his assessment that there is a rage that simmers beneath idealism.

But he doesn't yet know Kunikida well enough to recognize that Kunikida does not believe in an ideal world, and he knows better than to impose rights and wrongs where they have no bearing on reality. He looks at the American intelligent agent who favors torture and acknowledges that criminals are not the only ones who break the law and violate ethical standards, but further that, "a foreign secret intelligence agency won't change their ways, regardless of how a nobody like myself might feel about it." When he knows Sasaki for who she is and considers her and Rokuzo's death, he gazes out into a "decaying garden" to watch the "crimson spider lilies sway," and when he closes his eyes, the flowers are still there, but so is a trace of Sasaki's smile.

Kunikida does not mistake the world for ideal. He does not live in black and white. He sees only what could be and yet knows his own limitations enough to recognize where he might nurture that potential and where his effort would be wasted. He does not force the world into the shape it should be. He confronts it as it is and loves it not for its most ideal possibilities but for the trace of beauty that persists in its decay. When he says in the anime, "But did she have to die?" it wasn't because he could not see her for who she was, but because in who she was, there was someone who might have been reached had she not exhausted herself trying to bend the world to what she thought it should be.

Kunikida does not seek to change others. He knows he can't, and it's that path that feeds the rage of an idealist who can't understand why others would so callously fail to act within their romanticized expectations of what the world should be. Instead, he seeks righteousness in himself, he seeks to bend so that he won't break, to exist humbly and within his humanity. He grapples with a ravenous hunger for self-improvement, which may never be satiated but also which he carefully contains within himself such that he does not devour others in his fervor. In doing so, in remaining so conscious of his limitations, he fixes his gaze on the reality in which he cultivates his ideals— once which is capable of more than it is, but because of what it is, rather than what it isn't.

This is why he has a yin and yang pin, why he layers black and khaki over and beside one another, why he is constrained by the size of his notebook. It's also why he can fall apart and nevertheless rise again, why he can contain hunger and fury without allowing either to devour him, why he can welcome Atsushi into his devotion despite having lost Rokuzo, why he can see what he can't change and instead focus his energy on that which he can, and why his rigid schedule can be broken without ever deterring him from his relentless pursuit.

He yearns for ideals, but he also strives for them. He exists in a constant state of transformation. This is why he can smile through yet another one.

So, while I contemplated Fukuzawa's grief above, I know that when spiders' meticulous and geometrically exact webs nevertheless snap beneath the weight of the reality in which they've woven it, they adjust around the information that they cannot change and begin again crafting that which they can.

Kunikida may die, but he knows, and perhaps in this way he might remind Fukuzawa, too, that while reality may not bend to what must be just and righteous, there is meaning in our capacity to yearn for those things, and there is something just a bit wonderful about striving towards them.

Natsume told Oda that people live to save themselves, and Oda acknowledged it's something people realize right before they die. Kunikida, I think, realized that too. In a journal entry, Kunikida wrote, "The simplest path in life is being satisfied with each day for what it is... The truth does not move people because living and dying are constants, regardless of any such truths. Nobody knows these truths, for we cannot see them."

But, in his final moment, Kunikida smiled and murmured, "Fantastic," because, perhaps, right before he died, he finally realized and could see some of those truths. He strove for his ideals to save himself. And he could be satisfied, knowing that, that was, in of itself, just a little bit wonderful, wasn't it?

oh god, fukuzawa is already curled fetal in his grief under a pile of rubble. did he feel the thread of kunikida plucked taut before delicately snapping like spider's silk, loss rippling the geometry of his consciousness? or did it feel like being gutted, like an organ slipping, hot and viscous, from the gaping wound left in him by fukuchi to smack wetly on the ground?

can fukuzawa feel an aperture where there was once posterity, or is he choking on the fullness of how much he still has left to lose?

[hinamie]

oversaturate