#what if emotionally i am just not good enough to be loved well because i know i am a dysregulated mess and i try to work on it
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i crave to be loved so badly but i am so scared of it, maybe even find myself undeserving or not capable of receiving it,
i wrote a self insert character who gets into a relationship with a character who loves so entirely with such devotion and yet find myself unable to write a story where that character does love my s/i enough, the way he has loved other characters in the past. what the hell is that about?
#vidhik.txt#2/3 iantara stpries have this conflict holding him back#the third one that i have not been able to finish doesn't really have conflict like that because it is just pure cuteness#and exactly i am unable to write it because how#am i analysing this too much maybe but i am also coming to this#after looking at my dating history the past year or so#i really liked a girl and asked her out got rejected but atayed very good friends and i love our friendship#but anyone who actually shows interest in me i start isolating and distancing myself from before they can reject me#and some of them made an effort but i almost keep looking for an excuse#because i dont know what happens when they see me naked what if they find my body hideous most days i have trouble with that myself#what if emotionally i am just not good enough to be loved well because i know i am a dysregulated mess and i try to work on it#but when i lose at it it is so so bad#i am aware i am not an easy person to love so i keep myself comfimed to people i almost know just will not try to learn me enough#thus not learning the veru bad parts and not leaving#i am so svared of rejection that i keep not letting people love me despite how much i want it#needed to vent because this has kept me up a bit too long
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โง๐ฌ๐๐๐๐ ๐บ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โง
~๐๐ ๐~
Things I say may not resonate with you as everyoneโs birth chart is very different and impacts them in different ways. I am not a professional astrologer, these are just some observations Iโve made over the years dealing with different placements. Hope you enjoy!
โฉ Gemini moons are full of contradictions! They tend to always contradict what they say because their minds can be so crowded and overwhelmed. They also like to learn many things and their tendency to overthink/the multiple different perspectives they see can lead them to change their minds often. However, this isnโt always a bad thing because it allows them to be very open minded and always willing to listen to others ideas.
โฉ When a Scorpio mars gets mad, it can feel as though all hell might break loose. The anger these natives bottle up inside of them and eventually release can be very scary.
โฉ Having Libra and Cancer placements can make natives the biggest people pleasers and it can be very distressing for them. Saying โnoโ isnโt going to end the world and it wonโt make people hate you, I promise. You are more than enough! Have a bit more confidence in yourself, people are very drawn to your loving nature and there is so much good in your heart. Donโt let yourself get taken advantage of when people try to prey on your weakness, youโre better than that.
โฉ Leo Venus nativesmay love theater and art. They like to express themselves and they shine while doing so! Their passion is radiant and they have beautiful souls. They are capable of so much love and they channel that into their art.
โฉ Cancer mars can be a difficult placement to have. They feel emotions very deeply and intensely. They have a tendency to be natural caregivers; very empathetic souls. This can cause them to be in fear of hurting other peoples feelings and have their emotions bottled up until one day it all pours out. This can be very cathartic for them but also distressing. Strong feelings of jealousy and yearning can be seen with this placement. To all the cancer mars out there, just know we appreciate how tender your nature is! Donโt be so scared of things, you will be fine! (Side note, cancer mars reminds me a lot of mitski songs)
โฉ Pluto in the second house can have deep self esteem issues. They may place their worth on their possessions as they feel they arenโt enough and due to the transformation powers of this placement, their income may be unstable. This leads an internal struggle between trying to fulfill the soul and placing less worth on what they have around them.
โฉ Prominent virgo placements can sometimes be super overbearing. These people may need to double check everything and have a hard time relaxing. They can struggle with anxiety and can have control issues. In turn this can also make the native unhealthily retreat into their own minds as an escape from what they feel is chaos. Virgos, youโre doing great. Sometimes itโs good to take a deep breath and live in the moment.
โฉ Aquarius placements (especially Sun and Venus) as well as Cancer placements are very good gift givers. Aquarius placements always come up with creative ideas that the person receiving usually loves! On the other hand, cancer placements value sentimental gifts. They may look for something that will touch you emotionally or it may be something they would cherish if they were the one receiving the gift.
โฉ Capricorn risings really like to take the initiative! They can be the one in group projects to assign everyone roles and make outlines for the group. They like to seem responsible and dependable and they very much are!
๐ฃ๐ฑ๐ช๐ท๐ด ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐ฏ๐ธ๐ป ๐ป๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐ฒ๐ท๐ฐ! *:๏ฝฅ๏พโง
๐๐ช๐น๐น๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐จ๐ฎ๐ช๐ป โก
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hey anon saying "my abuser was a trans man so trans men hate trans women" I just want you to know I'm a transmasc person who was literally abused horrifically on the basis of sharing a similar pronoun and gender identity to my then-girlfriend's ex. she used the abuse of an entirely unrelated person as an excuse to insinuate I never respected her and would regularly scream at me and even invalidated my trauma over a relative dying using her own trauma.
she also, unsurprisingly, was a rampant transandrophobe, calling me horrible and transmisogynistic because I challenged her as a trans woman over saying blatantly transphobic things about trans men and transmascs (myself included).
because it was never about truth, it was about being on top and being the most inconvenienced and being in control of the conversation of suffering (this went beyond us fighting over my gender).
think why you feel that way, that you need sole dictation over the conversation and can't let anyone else breathe their words about experiences that may challenge how you feel, anon
if I were to do what she did, and say I was uncomfortable with trans women because they can be abusive, I would rightfully be ripped limb from limb for the transmisogynistic notion that trans women are remotely a monolith or are abusive based solely on my experience
but I guess trans men aren't owed that same equivalence. they are forced to live a double standard there. because you don't respect us enough for it. why is that.
"because it was never about truth, it was about being on top and being the most inconvenienced and being in control of the conversation of suffering,"
"if I were to do what she did, and say I was uncomfortable with trans women because they can be abusive, I would rightfully be ripped limb from limb for the transmisogynistic notion that trans women are remotely a monolith or are abusive based solely on my experience"
i had to highlight these bits in particulare because good god you worded this so perfectly. i am so sorry you have had this experience but you knocked the ball so far out of the park that i am genuinely in awe of how well you conveyed this, and how absolutely fucked peoples' double standards are when it comes to abuse and how people think that trans men and mascs have it "so much easier in life". you're dead on the money. NONE of this has to do with talking about oppression and looking out for one another.
this behavior is about control.
it's about controlling the narrative. some people literally get so insecure when the conversation turns away from them for even a moment, they think it means that everyone is their enemy. yes, trans women have an absolutely awful time in cisheternormative society. so do trans men.
i have been emotionally and sexually abused and harassed by 3 separate trans women. one of which struck me with an object, another who stole something out of my purse while i was asleep and continuously kept trying to get in my pants after she found out i had a vagina despite me repeatedly turning her down, and another who mocked me for my psychotic episodes and repeatedly swore up and down that i didn't have DID and just in general gaslit and emotionally abused the fuck out of me. the woman who hit me also constantly kept insinuating that penises are what make a man a man, and would not stop making me feel bad for not having a biopenis.
once everyone found out i had a vag, suddenly, i was a cishet woman in their house and i was public enemy #1. i had to deal with my cis gay male roommate shrieking about how he's gay, boobs and vaginas are disgusting, he's a MAN attracted to MEN. meanwhile, my ex girlfriend (the one who hit me) made me feel like shit for being a man without a penis almost every single day. she would guilt trip me about how she missed being with partners with biopenises and would spend all day telling me that she loved me, but then would turn around and scream and yell at me and tell me that i'm an evil asshole.
the transandrophobia i have had to deal with at the hands of other trans women has been absolutely fucking staggering. we need to stop fostering a culture where this is okay because it's genuinely getting people hurt. like you said, if a transmasc were to say "i hate trans women, they're all mean and shitty and abusive," they would literally be torn limb from fucking limb. and rightfully so, because it's a dogshit thing to say. but we HAVE to start telling people who do this to trans men to fuck OFF and stop it.
i am very sorry you went through that. i hope things improve for you, and that you're able to spend time in company that treats you with respect. nobody should have to deal with literal profiling just because of their gender.
is that what we're doing now? profiling people based off of their gender? how is that progressive? how is that liberating? how is that trans rights? it ain't.
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hi!! i really like your work and i was wondering if you could do like a katsuki bakugou x reader where bakugou is putting the reader at risk of being harmed because of her being one of his loved ones and then bakugou purposely fights with the reader and then just walks out on her thinking itโs for the better and then a couple weeks later the reader finds out sheโs pregnant and keeps the child a secret for a couple years until she runs into bakugou and then he wants a do-over or something like that ๐ฅน
Second Chances (Request)
Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader
Details/Warnings: CW: Pregnancy Cw: Children, some angst, domestic fluff, dad bakugou, also soft bakugou hahaha.
Word Count: 2.9k
this idea is SOOOO cute i love it sm and it was really fun writing this. i hope i did your idea justice!! thank you sm for requesting anon :D i literally got so excited when i saw it got a request hehehe
Getting with Katsuki Bakugou was a dream come true. You two had been through thick and thin, and you had it all. Great jobs, a home together, and a strong relationship. Everything seemed perfect in your eyes, until one day Katsuki decided it wasn't enough for him.
Well, it was enough for him. It was more than enough actually. He loved you with all his heart and wanted a future with you, but doing that would put you at risk.
Ever since he was a little boy and dreamed of being a hero, he was warned of the risks the job came with. Not only would he be in great danger, but his loved ones too.
For a long time he believed he was strong enough to take on the world and every villain it had, no matter the threats they made towards him.
In his entire career, no villain had ever threatened a loved one of his, until recently. A damned villain had brought you up in the midst of the fight, spewing all kinds of bullshit he'd do to you that Katsuki would never want to even imagine.
For the first time in a long time, Katsuki reached a breaking point.
The disgusting things that villain said about you made him realize that he couldn't continue putting you in danger like this, so he had to find a way to end things.
He knew you wouldn't accept the real reasoning behind the break up, so he had to come up with something else.
You sat across the kitchen table from Katsuki with tears filled in your eyes. Seeing you like this hurt him more than ever, but he had to stay strong.
"How could this not be enough for you Katsuki?" You cried, "How could I not be enough for you?"
He looked down at the table to avoid your broken expression, "How else am I supposed to fuckin' say it huh? I don't wanna be with you anymore."
You shook your head, "Stop looking at the table and look at me when you say that. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me you really don't want to be with me, then you can leave."
It took everything left in Katsuki to lift his head up and look you in your eyes. He tried his best to put on a poker face, but you both knew it wasn't working.
"I don't want to be with you anymore."
Your face scrunched up slightly as you held back tears. "Okay Katsuki. If that's what you really want."
...
Having to hear Katsuki move out of your apartment was just another reminder of your relationship crumbling right before you, and it felt like the end of the world.
You don't know how long you laid in bed crying silently, but suddenly you heard Katsuki's voice from the door of your bedroom.
"I'm leaving now." He said quietly.
You played with a thread on the pillow next to you, choosing to ignore him.
He shuffled awkwardly at your silence. "Um, Bye. I guess."
"Bye Katsuki." You said quietly.
You stayed quiet until you heard the front door shut behind him, then you let yourself cry.
...
It was almost two months later, and you were starting to feel a bit better about the break up. It was hard sometimes, but you had a good support system and kept yourself busy.
Now though you were feeling better emotionally, you weren't really feeling well physically.
When you confided in your best friend about this, she told you words you really didn't want to hear.
"Maybe you're pregnant?" Uraraka suggested after hearing your symptoms.
You shook your head, "No way! And if I am, that's horrible! I can't raise a baby by myself. That's a two person job..."
She stayed quiet, now feeling a bit awkward when she remembered the messy breakup between you and Katsuki.
"I'd be here for you, you know that right?" She said and wrapped her arms around you. "I should have a few tests in my bathroom, do you wanna go take some?"
You bit your lip in thought. "I dunno. I'm scared."
She leaned her head on your shoulder, "I'll be with you every step of the way. You're my best friend okay? You should take the test sooner than later so that way if you are pregnant, you can start taking care of yourself and the baby."
You leaned your head on hers, "You're right. I'll do it."
Moments later after peeing on three sticks and looking at the results, you felt your heart drop to your stomach.
You opened the door and faced Uraraka, who was pacing in anticipation.
"Well? What does it say?!" She asked.
You held up one of the tests, "Looks like I gotta start eating for two."
...
5 years later
After finding out you were pregnant five years ago, you decided you weren't going to tell Katsuki. Maybe it was wrong, but you didn't care.
He had made it very clear he didn't want to be with you anymore, and you weren't going to hold him back from whatever plans he had.
You had also decided it'd be a good idea to move out of Musutafu, at least an hour away from him and anyone else that knows him. You didn't want the word of you having his child spreading around and eventually reaching him.
The only person you told were your parents and Uraraka, who promised she'd keep it a secret from Katsuki and everyone associated with him. The two of you kept in touch and she would occasionally visit you when she wasn't busy with hero work.
So now here you were with your 4-year old little girl, Keiko. She had some of your features, but of course her father's genes overshadowed yours despite him not even being in the picture.
The biggest resemblance between them was their eyes, which you hated temporarily, but grew to love again because of her.
"Mama! Mama!" Keiko called from the top of the slide, "Come play with me!"
You stood up from the bench with a sigh and made your way over to the bottom of the slide. "Okay Koko but be careful up there! I don't want you to get hurt."
She shook her head and scrunched up her face, "I'm strong! I don't get hurt Mama!" and then slid down to meet you at the bottom.
Once she got there, she slid into your legs and got surprised at the light impact but giggled anyways.
You reached down and picked her up, "What are you laughing at huh Koko?" You asked and tickled her.
She continued laughing her little heart out and you smiled at her, loving to see your daughter in such a good mood.
A few hours later, you found yourselves at the grocery store, shopping for new snacks Keiko could take to school.
You held up a pack of yogurt cups to your daughter, who was sitting in the basket.
"You want some of these baby? They have blueberry and strawberry flavor."
"I want blueberry!" She said.
You nodded, "Good choice."
The two of you continued shopping around for a few more minutes, until you felt your heart stop.
Down the same aisle, you saw none other than Katsuki Bakugou.
Just as you tried to quickly turn around, your precious child couldn't help but yell -
"Dynamight!"
Groaning in frustration at your daughter, though you knew it wasn't her fault (He just so happened to be her favorite hero, despite not even knowing he was her father), you tried your best to keep walking away but it was already too late.
You heard him yell out your name, and you quickly grabbed Keiko, abandoning the shopping cart in the process and you began making your way out of the store as fast as you could.
Katsuki, who noticed you and your daughter, did the same and began following you.
Once you were outside, you looked over your shoulder and called out, "Get away from me!
Keiko fussed in your arms at your loud voice, wondering what was happening and why her mother was running away from a hero.
Finally getting to your car, Katsuki was hovering over you as you put your daughter in her car seat.
"Is she mine?" He asked, out of breath from walking fast.
"No."
"You think I'm an idiot or somethin'?" He asked, "She looks just like me and you expect me to believe that?"
You kissed Keiko on the forehead, "I'm gonna talk to the crazy man real quick okay baby? Just wait here."
She nodded and played with her fingers. You shut the door and leaned against it, facing Katsuki.
"Leave us alone. I don't want anything to do with you, okay?" You said sternly, trying not to cry.
His eyebrows furrowed, "When we ended things... were you pregnant?"
You stayed quiet for a moment before answering.
"I didn't find out until a month later."
He let out a breath and put his hands on his face. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me? I would've been there for you, even if we weren't together."
His words angered you, "Why does it take me being pregnant for you to think about being there for me? I still needed you there when you left, but you wanted nothing to do with me!"
"I had to do it! You don't understand, okay?" He yelled.
You put a finger in his face, "Stop raising your voice at me like that. Keiko can probably hear you."
He grew quiet, "Her name is Keiko?"
"Yeah."
He looked at the ground, "Can I get to know her more? Please. There's no way I can live my life knowing I have a kid that I'm not there for."
You felt a tear slip down your cheek. "Okay, fine. I'll give you my number and we can talk about the details later."
"Thank you." He sighed, "Thank you so much. I'm gonna do my best for her, and for you too."
"This isn't about me."
"I don't care. It's what I want to do. It's what I need to do."
"Just give me your phone so I can put my number in."
He fished his phone out of his pocked and unlocked it, handing it to you. While you added your contact, he asked "What does she like? I want to get her something."
"Well she likes heroes, her favorite animal is a seal, and she likes crowns, because she wants to be a king." You said with a smile.
"Not a queen?" He smirked.
You shook your head. "Nah, she says 'king' sounds cooler."
He laughed, "That's definitely my kid."
...
After the accidental meet up with Katsuki, Keiko asked a million questions but you answered as if you didn't know him, and eventually she lost interest.
You decided not to tell anyone about what happened, just incase he decided to leave again. You also didn't want to tell Keiko yet, because you didn't want her to grow attached to him.
She knew her father wasn't in the picture, but she didn't fully understand why yet. You would explain it to her when she got older and grew more curious about who he is.
You had also found out why Katsuki was in your city, and apparently it was because he was visiting some family members (by force of his mother).
It was now a few days later, and you and Katsuki decided to meet up, along with Keiko. You wanted to meet him in public, but he said that was a bad idea because he'd get recognized, so you reluctantly agreed to allow him into your home.
"Keikooo" You cooed, "We have a visitor today."
She looked up from her toys and brushed her hair out of her face, "Who Mama?"
Just then, the doorbell rang. "There he is! Do you wanna go open the door?"
She nodded and skipped down the hall and to the front door, looking back at you for the okay before opening the door.
When she did, she gasped "Dynamight! What are you doing at my house?"
Katsuki laughed, "I came to see you and your Mama, if that's alright with you little lady."
She smiled and opened the door wider, allowing him to walk in. "What's in that bag, Dynamight?"
"It's actually something for you." He said and handed it to her.
She squealed and dragged the large bag behind her to the couch, where she quickly dug inside of it and pulled out a large seal plushie with a crown on it.
"It's a king seal!" She said in awe.
You smiled and sat next to her on the couch, "What do you say Koko?"
She hugged the seal, "Thank you so much! I need to name him..."
Katsuki laughed and ruffled her hair, "You're welcome kid. Maybe we can come up with names later." He then handed you a small bag, from who knows where, and urged you to open it.
You raised a brow but opened it anyways. Inside, there was a jewelry box, and inside that there was a necklace with three small flowers aligned together. It was simple, but pretty.
"You didn't have to get me anything..." You said while admiring the necklace.
He shrugged, "I know, but I wanted to."
You smiled.
...
For the next few months, things continued on that way. The three of you would meet up, Katsuki occasionally bringing you and your daughter gifts no matter how many times you said you didn't want one, and actually enjoying time together.
Currently, Keiko was being carried to bed by Katsuki. She was all tuckered out from today's session of hero and villain (she was the hero, of course).
When Katsuki came back to the living room, he slumped onto the couch next to you and sighed. "Damn, that kid has so much energy."
You laughed, "Tell me about it. It was even worse when I was actually carrying her. She was a kicker."
Katsuki looked over at you, "I'm sorry I wasn't there."
You continued looking forward, "It's fine. You didn't even know, Katsuki."
He smiled slightly at you using his first name, just like he did every time you used it.
"Y'know, I was thinking-"
"Uh oh." You teased.
He tsked and continued on, "I wanna start over again."
You froze, what the hell was he saying?
"Look, I know you're hesitant to and I understand why." He said and slowly grabbed your hand, holding it tenderly in his. "But I'm being serious when I say I haven't been with anyone since you. I still love you and I always have. And now that Koko is here, I love her too and I want to be in her life everyday."
Your lip began to shake, "If you loved me, why did you leave me?"
"Baby I was being stupid. I-I got into a fight with this villain, and he threatened you. I thought that my job was putting you in danger and I didn't want to take any risks, so I broke things off."
The tears were now falling, "You're such an idiot, you know that?"
"I do know. I'm sorry." He said and stroked your cheek, "I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you and not being there for you and Keiko. But please, please let me be here now."
You cried harder and leaned into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. That wound he left behind all those years ago was now a scar that still hurts. But so far, being with him these last few months has eased the pain.
"I love you" You cried, "I want you to be here now. For me and for Keiko."
He let out the biggest sigh of relief in years.
...
3 years later
"Keiko! Stop putting cheese on your brother!" Katsuki yelled across the kitchen.
Your now 7-year old daughter pouted and bit into a slice of cheese, "But he likes it!"
Your son, who was a year old, laid on the floor of the living room and laughed at his sister while chewing on his fingers.
After that talk you and Katsuki had, you began seeing each other again. It was hard at first, but he proved himself to you in every way he could.
You two also told Keiko he was her father, and she was confused at first but after a long talk and even some tears, she understood and quickly accepted he was her father.
She also loved being able to say Dynamight was her dad.
She also manifested her quirk, which was of course, the same as Katsuki's. When it first manifested, there was a random boom! that came from her bedroom, and when you two ran in, she was covered in soot and her doll was blown up.
Though instead of crying, she cheered in victory, which Katsuki found extremely funny.
Now for your second pregnancy, that was a surprise, just like your first one. Despite this, you two were still happy about it and decided to move into a bigger house together.
Hiroki looked a lot like his father, of course. But this time, he had your eye color which you were thankful for considering you carried him for almost 9 months.
"Keiko why would you put cheese on Hiroki?" You asked as you walked into the living room.
She shrugged and ate another slice.
"That kid is crazy, that's why." Katsuki said.
She quickly turned around, "No I'm not! You're crazy! Poop face!"
"Hey!" You said, "Don't call your dad poop face. That's not nice."
She grumbled a 'sorry' and went back to eating the cheese slices off of Hiroki.
You smiled and shook your head at your families antics. They could be a bit much, and they had explosive personalities (literally) but you loved them either way.
Maybe second chances weren't so bad.
authors note
this was so so fun! again, thank you for requesting ๐ฉท if anyone else has ideas or requests, feel free to send em!
i hope you liked this ๐ธ
#fanfiction#@angels-fantasy#fanfic#anime#bakugou katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#cw pregnancy#cw children#dad bakugou#bakugou x fem!reader
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HELLO!! i keep requesting them sotty im obsessed but what about hunting dogs with a s/o who has a child๐
๐
i got silly again
Hunting Dogs with your child
โก pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader
โก synopsis: How do these goofballs fare as stepdads? (or, in Teruko's case, fun auntie?)
โก cw: Swearing, unofficial stepfathering, unrealistically good stepfathering, reader's ex situation is not established but it's assumed that their baby momma/daddy is not in the picture (Tachihara), mentions of violence
note: I just haven't written anything in ages, and for that I apologise. Wow, being in university is time consuming! I've had block for months and it's been an absolute pain in the arse but I'm back babey! Keep your requests coming anon- I am the Hunting Dogs whisperer and I will write them till I die. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x
Fukuchi:
My dude is so so so enthusiastic. You mean to tell him that he gets a beautiful loving partner AND a new little guy to hang out with?? Sign him tf up
This man buys your kid so many presents it's genuinely concerning. Your child is spoilt to hell and back by Fukuchi. You need to discourage him from this behaviour STAT
He constantly uses dad words like 'buddy' and 'pal' and 'kiddo' to refer to your kid and they eventually start responding to these nicknames lol
He would totally also do dad stances and just embrace the fatherly aura that is slowly overtaking him day by day (bro starts falling asleep on the couch while the game's on at 9pm)
He's actually surprisingly gentle with your child. If they cry he'll pick them up and comfort them very well. He's like a whole different person when your kid is scared or sad- it's the cutest thing ever
If your child ever gets him a Fathers' Day present he'll probably cry like old man tears of joy. In fact if your child ever does anything nice for him he'll be incredibly touched. Kinda reminds him what he's doing his job for :')
Tells your child great exaggerated (CHILD FRIENDLY) stories about his heroic achievements as a soldier before bed. It's genuinely super cute you guys
If the kid ever runs up to him in excitement when he arrives home in the evening he returns the energy and is like 'omg there they are! that's my kiddo! how have you been??' and picks them up and AUGH they're so cute
Just....๐ฅบ๐ฅบ
Jouno:
Your child is probably scared of him at first. Within their first meeting he probably makes them cry.
Sorry y'all ๐ญ but he doesn't exactly come off as much of a teddy bear...and nor does he really act like one with anyone else other than you in private
Jouno just isn't good with kids. Not in the sense that he's scared of them but that he doesn't really know how to interact with them without being intimidating or otherwise just detached
But he really loves you, and he wants to be a good parental figure to your kid, so he tries to warm them up to him by getting them a gift. That probably helps- he might not know much about kids but he's right to assume that they fucking love receiving gifts
Whatever your child's hobbies/interests are, Jouno genuinely does try to connect with them over it, and after a while it does work.
Soon enough your child and Jouno are inseparable and your child is spewing sadistic military rhetoric and oh dear god you've made a terrible mistake introducing the two of them
Yeah, Jouno probably teaches your kid all KINDS of horrible things. He will tell your child stories about times he's tortured suspects, or slaughtered gangs, and just stuff that is not family friendly. You have to nip that behaviour in the bud or else...
He's generally pretty good at taking care of your child, but like, if your kid cried because they were scared there was a monster under the bed, Jouno would probably be like "Yeah. There is. Good luck." and then turn off the lights and leave ๐
Just give him time. He'll learn how to be an emotionally available parent at SOME point
Tecchou:
He's not the step dad. He's the dad that stepped up
Tecchou is definitely very aloof and awkward around your child- like, he knows how to interact with you, but children are different. Children are frightening. And they are his biggest fear maybe
In spite of this, he is fiercely protective of your kid. He will make sure that child is as safe and calm as possible at all times, and he certainly prefers to show that he cares through actions rather than words.
He usually wouldn't initiate physical contact with your child but if they hugged him he would hug back, if they gave him a hi-five he would do it back, etc etc. he will never let your kid down
If your child likes make belief, you can bet you'd walk into a room and find your kid all dressed up, off their rocker in full theatre mode, while Tecchou is sitting on the floor, also dressed up, but looking more depressed than ever before
Save him from your baby. They are taking YEARS off his life
He probably accidentally sends your kid to hospital at some point because he cooked for them. Damnit Tecchou, how don't you realise that a child's stomach wouldn't be able to handle a combination of chocolate and beef
It's okay though, he does learn from this. Plus, he takes care of your child and buys them presents and hangs out with them until they're better <3
He might not join your child in the ball pit, but he would watch them swim around in there with the softest, faintest, most affectionate smile on his face. And that is all that matters folks
Teruko (platonic):
The funnest, meanest, coolest auntie ever
Teruko will lead your child down a dreadful path. Limit their visits to holidays and birthdays for your own sake and the sake of your young one
She's really more than happy to negatively influence look after your child if you need her to though, and they love her because she's super chill and lets them get away with all kinds of things (that aren't violent crimes against humanity)
Your parent says one cookie after dinner? Screw it, have six. I won't tell if you won't. - Teruko, probably
She uses her ability to entertain your kid sometimes- usually she'll decrease her age so she can join them in things like building pillow forts and playing on jungle gyms
I'm just picturing them playing at the park and some concerned parent coming up to them asking where their guardian is and Teruko just fucking transforms into a grown woman on the spot and goes 'WHO'S ASKING' ๐ญ
Teruko is a super cool fun aunt. But she is very wise, and she really will give your kid good life advice on occasion.
She'll also cheer them up when they're feeling down, and if they're feeling scared she helps them step out of their comfort zones and confront their fears (in a safe way!!)
If your kid is like, getting picked on at school or something, Teruko will nag you to phone their school about it. If you don't, she does. If they don't do anything about it, she does. Bottom line is NOBODY fucks with your kid when Teruko is around
I guess technically she really is scary dog privilege lmao
Tachihara:
Help he's so nervous at first? Tachihara this is a child, not a wise sage- you can be normal around them
He just wants to make a good impression on the child okay he's doing his best
But (obviously) your kid immediately loves him, and thinks he's the coolest guy ever, and wants to hang out with him all the time
Tachihara has a bit of a concern that the kid will think that he's trying to replace their other parent, which is fair, but it's unfounded because your child absolutely adores him and does not care about that at all
If your child ever calls him 'Dad' watch his soul fucking transcend to a new plane, he's so surprised and honoured that this beautiful person's child would consider him their parent
Your kid has Tachihara wrapped around their tiny finger. He will oblige them with anything- if you've got a toddler who likes uppies and piggybacks, say your prayers for Tachihara's upper arm and back muscles because he will carry them for hours
You really need him to stop leaving weaponry around the house, though- the absolute HEART ATTACK you had when you saw your precious baby carrying around an unloaded pistol
Also, Tachihara, babe, STOP SWEARING SO MUCH AROUND THE BABY. I CAN'T HAVE MY KID SAYING 'FUCK' TO STRANGERS - you, probably
Doesn't really ever talk about his job(s) with your kid, all they know is that he 'kills bad guys', and they think that's cool as fuck
He's not perfect, sure. But he is trying so hard to be The Perfect Parentโข and, more importantly, he loves your child to bits
taglist~ โก @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen
of course, thank you to anon for this req!
#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd fanfic#bsd fanfiction#bsd headcanons#bsd hcs#fanfiction#bsd fluff#headcanons#bungo stray dogs headcanons#bungo stray dogs fanfic#bsd x reader#gn reader#bsd x gn reader#bsd fukuchi#fukuchi ouchi#fukuchi x reader#bsd jouno#jouno saigiku#jouno x reader#bsd tecchou#tecchu suehiro#tecchou x reader#bsd teruko#teruko okura#bsd tachihara#tachihara michizou#tachihara x reader
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Question: How can we say Natsu treats Lucy differently compared to the rest of his nakama? We have seen him being angry emotional during Erza "funeral" (in the first season) and his reaction when topic of Lisanna's death comes up. He even blushed when Lisanna used to talk about marriage and all (just before she passed away when Happy and Natsu have another fight). He never really expressed any physical interest in Lucy EVER and is mostly lukewarm in his reactions unless she is in danger or hurt. He didn't even hesitate when he was asked to kiss Lucy.
So how can we say that Lucy is different from all these people? I hope you understood my question.
(PS I am a huge NaLu shipper but I hate how they handle serious moments)
Well, I think that we have to clear something up, and its that Lucy and Natsu are more than Lucy and Natsu.
Natsu's world doesn't revolve around Lucy, and Lucy's world doesn't revolve around Natsu. They are their own persons with their own dreams and goals (and this is completely fine)
Natsu is a very passionate person, who loves his friends and family, he has known Erza and Lisanna since they were children, it is obvious that he will be emotional about their "deaths". Just like he was with future Lucy's.
Why do I think Natsu treats Lucy differently? Well, because he does. Literally. Not only does Natsu avoid any kind of (serious) fight with Lucy, but he is emotionally vulnerable with her, he becomes soft. I'm going to focus on Erza and Lucy because we don't have enough interactions with Lisanna.
Natsu is an extremely violent person, even when Erza was distressed his solution was punching her (even if it was for her own good or not),
Now, we have never seen Natsu use violence to console Lucy (or in general), they are always soft, comforting moments
He just can't hurt her, at least not willingly, it's beyond him.
Just like when he had to fight snake lucy and completely stopped thinking she was back
I want to pinpoint his reactions to different deaths, because even those are different
When Lissana, erza or even Igneel died, Natsu felt helpless and sad
Lucy? He wanted to burn the world down, kill his best friend out of grieve and then kill himself in the process just because he thought he had lost her forever. (I talk about this here)
-.-.-.-
About the physical interest, I kind of disagree, It is true that he doesn't show as much physical desire like other men in FT but he does in his own way. We have seen natsu fantasize over Lucy
be jealous of other men for her attention
and become possessive of her
He is not responsive because almost every time they have a physical moment he sees it coming, is mentally prepared for it or he initiates them.
NOW, what happens when Lucy initiates or he doesn't see it coming?
My man becomes a blushing mess (this is mainly shown in official art tho)
but he never shows jealousy or possessiveness towards erza, because Erza is not Lucy
#shiro's nalu analysis#HOLY S this was LONG#took me an hour to write and gather all this#please appreciate it lmao#shirotalks#natsu dragneel#lucy heartfilia#fairy tail#fairy tail nalu#nalu#natsu x lucy
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Hello! First of all I wanted to say that damn I love your fics, they give me so much gender euphoria and are so validating. Second, I understand if you feel unconfortable with this request but how do you think Homelander would react to reader's self harm scars? Since he's basically a god, I wouldn't be suprised by how a "fragile little creature" like a human could do this and why.
John Gillman/Homelander x male reader
Headcanons
idk why i chose this gif, he just looks so cute here.
I ignore how in canon hed probably be a horrible guy about it. I am a firm fanon believer.
In the beginning I donโt even really think John would register that his lover has self-harm scars, since itโs never something heโs thought about himself. I imagine heโs had self-harming thoughts before sure, but never cutting himself since nothing can cut through him.
Hes probably tried to hurt himself one way or another, since he isnโt really the best place mentally, or when he thinks he isnโt doing good enough and whatnot.
But at first it doesnโt really click for him, since heโs so unused to seeing scars since he has none himself. It would probably take John longer than he would like to admit for it all to make sense, and it would be after you got comfortable enough to go around in short sleeves.
Maybe you think heโs just always known, since heโs got x-ray vision and all that, so he must have known from the beginning, right? And he just never said anything about it. yeah, not really.
He will act like thatโs how it all went, because thereโs no way Johns gonna admit that he didnโt notice something so important, no matter if they are old or fresh. If theyโre fresh, John would build a habit of checking on you every time he sees you, just in case, you know?
He might still do this, even if they are old and you havenโt done it in a long time. Because who knows, maybe things become so stressful that you need that outlet again.
Shamefully, to John at least, the hero would find himself going online to check it out. Hes got no training in mental illness or how to deal with that, which messes with him since heโs supposed to be perfect.
So he finds himself on different forums, from both people who have done it, and partners of people who have self-harmed, reading into how they deal with it or react. John being, well, John, would probably grow annoyed because its all types of emotionally vulnerable stuff, something heโs horrible at.
There is also little chance he would bring it up, at least in the beginning. Again, because itโs a new ground heโs never been on, and its an emotional conversation he canโt figure out how to navigate.
The conversation would end up coming up as you two are cuddling, and John finds himself carefully stroking the area with the scars, trying to comprehend why and how you would do that. What did you go through? There might also be some guilt, since he couldnโt save you from whatever made you self-harm, even if you guys didnโt even know each other at the time.
It would end up with you explaining it to him, since you guys are in a relationship and its all built on trust, right? And heโs been so chill about it this entire time, so why not tell him.
You almost get a heart attack when he starts getting glossy eyes and his bottom lip wobbles just a little, because John has been stressed about this since he figured it out, and he just doesnโt know how to react or what to do.
In the end its you that has to comfort him, and explain that it isnโt a big deal and nothing to cry about. But you also know itโs a new experience for John. Theres also some fear in John, since seeing your scars make your morality so clear. If you could get scars from that, imagine what others could do to you.
After some cuddling and comforting, John would tell you strictly to never do it again. You cant take him seriously though, since his usually styled hair is all mused and his eyes are pink around the edges, and, heโs pouting again.
You promise not too though, since it gets him to smile a little and cuddle you again, clinging to you as hard as he dares with his super strength. You make him vulnerable, and the Homelander part of him doesnโt like that, but the John part of him basks in it, at how human you make him feel.
Maybe hed even let slip that he had thoughts like that too, even if he couldnโt cut or burn himself like you could. That just means his self-harm shone through in more mental or extreme ways.
John builds a habit of brushing his fingers or kisses over your scars, not just the self-harm ones, but all of them. Its part to remind himself that you are so fragile, but also to remind him that you are alive and there with him.
He wonโt admit this though, since its cheesy. And he grows embarrassed if you ever bring it up, making him grumble and walk away to pout. It never lasts, and heโs back not long after.
#male reader#homelander#john gillman#the boys#homelander x male reader#homelander x reader#homelander imagine#homelander headcanon#john gillman imagine#john gillman headcanon#john gillman x male reader#john gillman x reader#the boys imagine#the boys headcanon#the boys x male reader#the boys x reader
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Shidou Ryusei โงโห โ
Relationship Heacanons + Mini Scenario
เฌณ character; shidou ryusei (blue lock) เฌณ tags; sfw, gn reader, no y/n
โ Slow burn? Whatโs that? Neither of you know the concept of it because once you found each otherโฆ there was just absolutely no letting go. I mean, you have to be the rarest catch ever to be able to match the freak of Shidou Ryusei. Everything between you happens fast.
โ Fast as it is, heโll never let you forget how much he loves you. Heโs so aggressive with his loving too (good luck; youโll need it). Frenzied kisses, hugs that squeeze the life outta you, and all the weirdly sweet compliments are some of the things you can expect from him.
โ Not much of a surprise, but the love language that he likes to give and receive would be physical touch. And we know heโs freaky as hell, but the touches donโt always have to be sexual. In fact, he looooves it when you pat his head and massage his scalp. Itโs literally the only time when heโs calm and quiet.
โ He never takes you out on dates and you donโt complain. Well, he doesnโt take you out on the TYPICAL kinds of dates. Neither of you like dinner dates or movie nights; theyโre too boring. Youโd much rather go get takeout at 2 AM and eat it in the parking lot. If itโs not spontaneous, then it has to be something that leaves both of you out of breathโlaser tag, amusement parks, and paintball to name a few.
โ Despite being on the same wavelength, you still fight quite a lot. However, itโs never so serious that you start shouting and hurting each other emotionally. Actuallyโฆ most of your quarrels are super childish. The last thing you fought about was whether or not Gege should bring Gojo back. Spoiler alert: heโs a Gojo hater.
โ I can totally imagine him watching anime with you. Heโs lowkey a weeb, trust. Itโs actually one of the more calm moments you have with him. That is, if you consider him reacting to every little thing happening to be calm. Best believe heโs shouting at the screen at the most hype moments of the show. He Naruto runs unironically btw.
โ Heโsโฆ shockingly the possessive type? Like I can imagine that it took him forever to find someone like you, so the prospect of losing you to someone else pisses him the fuck off. He wonโt try to hide it too. Heโll still be all sweet with you, but when you look awayโwhoever tried to poach you will be facing his wrath.
โ People are convinced the two of you can communicate telepathically. You can just give each other a look and you both already know what it means. Soooo many inside jokes that if someone else heard the two of you talk, theyโd give you a weird look.
โ People wouldnโt usually invite Shidou out, unless you would be tagging along. With you around, Shidou isnโt much of a menace. The two of you become the fun couple that livens up the gathering. In short, yโall some crazy fun.
แฏ Dancing scenario
It was one of those lazy Sundays that the two of you would spend hanging out in your bedroom. It was unusually quiet as both of you were busy scrolling through your phones. A different audio blaring from each of your devices while you scrolled through several Tiktoks.
"Ryu, look at this one," you say, thrusting the phone into his face. "Let's do this dance."
It was one of the simpler dances you found. Everything else was too complicated for the both of you to do in synchrony. You gave him some time to watch it twice and he grins.
The way he hurriedly got off the bed was enough to let you know that he was up for it. You followed suit, preparing your phone to record the two of you dancing like idiots.
Shidou was already practicing on the side. "Heh, this is easy!" But, alas, he was doing it horribly wrong as he always did.
Finally getting the phone ready, you smirk at his silly attempt at the dance and approach him. "You got it all wrong!"
Of course, he insists that he was doing it flawlessly. But you still show him how to do it. About 15 minutes have passed before he became decent at the moves. It's not like you wanted perfectionโthe mediocrity of your moves makes it funnier anyway. But at the very least, you wanted him to be able to resemble the dance.
"Alright, alright, just hit the record button already. Don't be so fussy. I dance better than you do!"
You playfully glare at him. "Yeah, whatever you say."
Once the phone started recording, you hurriedly went to your place beside him. The music starts and you were able to hit the first few moves. But as you neared the end, Shidou did a different move.
"See? Who messed up first?"
He doesn't own up to it, of course. Shidou, instead, demands for a 2nd take...
then another...
then one more...
then another take...
then, you finally couldn't take it anymore because how is it possible that the more you do itโthe more mistakes the both of you do? In the last take, unfortunately, you were the one who messed up.
He gave you that look and you already knew he was going to rub it in your face.
"Hah! Told you I'm the better dancer."
Oh... he did not just say that.
Without another thought, you pounced on him like a wild animal. He should be thankful that your bed caught him, otherwise he wouldn't be attending football practice tomorrow.
You were a self-proclaimed jiu-jitsu fighter when it came to playfighting with him. Well, you don't know the moves or even the name of the movesโbut the point is that you have to make him tap out no matter what.
To some extent, this was your little way of showing cuteness aggressionโmore so the aggression part. Sometimes he just gets on your nerves and this is the only thing that appeases you.
The two of you roll around on the bed, trying to gain leverage over the other. At some point, both of you almost fell off the bed. But he caught the both of you fast enough and flung you back to the other side of the bed.
As he recovered from that, you slipped him into a chokehold. It was a light one, of course. It wasn't like you wanted him to actually pass out.
"What? Gonna tap out?"
He smirks back at your cocky expression and taps your thigh to let you know he was throwing in the towel. He gave up without much of a fight, but that was his own way of letting you know how whipped he is for you.
Shidou might not be good with words, but you fall for his actions nonetheless.
You smile triumphantly at him. "Guess that makes me the better fighter huh?"
A devilish grin stretches across his dark expression
"I demand a round 2."
ฮต( ฮต หยณห)ษ ๏ฝกยฐ โฌ ๏ฝก likes and reblogs are appreciated
pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
o-sachi ยฉ 2024
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The Place You Found Me || Rafe Cameron
best!friend!reader X soft!rafe
a/n: heyyyy. I hope you like this one. I love a good 'one character is injured and the other comforts them" story. I also love writing Rafe's emotional side and him being an emotionally intelligent man so this was born. Hope ya'll are having a great holiday season!!
word count: ~3.8k (a longer one)
warnings/disclaimers: angst, fluff, brief mentions of violence, daddy issues, ward mentioned, mental health, mentions of self-harm, unhealthy coping mechanisms
summary: When a heated argument with Ward spirals out of control, Rafe vanishes without a word, leaving everyoneโincluding his childhood best friendโin the dark. As the only person who truly knows Rafeโs complex, troubled soul, Reader immediately senses something is deeply wrong. Determined to uncover the truth, they embark on a search, while wrestling with their own fears and emotions. Will their unyielding bond be enough to bring Rafe back, or has he finally reached the breaking point that sends him beyond their reach?
masterlist
โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ
โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ
READER POV:
Rafe has been missing for days โ three, to be exact. Everyone has been telling me that he will show back up eventually because โhe always does this.โ However, to me, this time feels different than the othersโฆ like the dam finally broke.
It was another fight between Rafe and his father, Ward, that caused his disappearance. It must have been particularly bad this time because Ward is looking about as good as a boxer after a fight. He had a cut on his eyebrow and a bruised cheekbone, as well as bloodied knuckles that lead me to believe Rafe will have wounds that will mirror his own. The most sickening part of this is the smile on Ward's face. He is playing the part of a concerned father very poorly. I've been privy to many altercations between the father and son over the years and this is Ward's response every time. He pretends like nothing happened, like Rafe isn't falling apart in front of him, like it isn't his fault. It breaks my heart every time because I can see how broken he is but it seems like no one else can. It might be because they don't want to so that their precious reputation can remain unmarred.
I know more about the behind-the-scenes dealings of the Cameronโs because of my friendship with Rafe. It is one of the most bizarre aspects of my life because I don't even know how to explain how it happened. All I know is one day we bumped into each other at an event put on by the Cameron's for some charity or holiday. From then on, we were inseparable. Wherever I was, Rafe was not far behind. People always speculated about what we were to each other, but we never labeled it. We just knew that no one knew us like we knew each other. However, recently I have been feeling more...intense feelings toward him. I tried ignoring them for the sake of our friendship, but I definitely failed. I know that because of how my heart feels like it's being squeezed to the point of exploding. Rafe is not a stranger to reckless behavior, and I am terrified to figure out what drastic measures he might have taken after the fight. If anything happened to him, I don't know what I would do. What if he-
No, I can't think like that. He wouldn't do that to me...he couldn't. As this thought crosses my mind, a tear slips from my eye. I quickly wiped the evidence away from my cheek and head into the Cameron's house. I run into Sarah on my way to Rafeโs room. Ever since he vanished, I had made a daily routine of going to his room to try and figure out where he could have gone. I also have been going in there because I miss him desperately. I have never missed anyone this much and I don't know how to deal with it so I just sit. I sit in his room to be close to him but also in the hope that he'll show up eventually like he usually does.
โHey, how are you holding up?โ Sarah questions as we pass each other in the foyer. She looks like she has gotten about as much sleep as I have, which is none. She doesnโt like to admit it, but she really does love him and this is tearing her up inside.
โIโm okay.โ I lie unconvincingly. โUgh, no Iโm not. Iโm actually really scared for him. I donโt like not knowing where he is or what trouble heโs gotten himself into. I mean you know how reckless he is when his emotions are high. I-I just want him to be back here with usโฆme.โ I finish my tangent and try to calm myself down. I canโt let my emotions get the better of me, especially not now.
She sighs and gives me a hug which I reciprocate immediately. โI knowโฆit will be okay, alright?โ She pulls back and looks me in the eyes. I can see her sincerity and it makes me relax, if only a little.
โThank you, Sarah. I donโt know what I would do without you. Youโre a really good friend and sister.โ I smile but it doesnโt quite reach my eyes. โIโm going to look for him at a few places that seem promising later if you want to join.โ I offer.
She shakes her head. โNo, it should be you. I know weโre siblings but my bond with him couldnโt even hold a candle to yours. Heโll respond better to you.โ She says matter-of-factly. The fact that she feels this way makes me feel slightly guilty. I donโt want to make her feel like I am more important to him than she is.
โAre you sure?โ I ask with a slight frown.
โYes, absolutely! I just want him back and you are our best chance of that happening.โ She states. She opens her mouth again as if she was going to continue speaking but shuts it after she thinks for a moment. It was as if she was unsure if she should say whatever it was that almost came out of her mouth.
I look at her with questioning eyes. โWhat were you going to say?โ
She looks conflicted but eventually speaks. โI canโt give you the answer you want because what I was going to say should come from Rafe. All I will say is that you know he loves you, right? Like more than I have ever seen him love anyone, even our father which is a difficult thing to accomplish.โ She stops speaking when she realizes that she was rambling. โAnyway, Iโll let you get back to what you were doing. Go find him for us, yeah?โ She finishes and walks out of the house and toward her car.
Her words hit me hard because I know he loves me and that's why this hurts so much. He loves me but isn't in love with me, though, that doesn't matter right now.
I need to find him and soon.
I open the door to his room and find myself sitting at the foot of his bed. I pull my knees into my chest and lean my head back on to the bedspread. I sit there for a while just observing the contents of the room that are the same as they were yesterday and the day before that. His room is clean which is unexpected given the jumbled-up mess I know his mind was in before he left. There is a bulletin board with important notes and pictures, a lot of them are either from me or I am in. This realization brings a genuine smile to my face and it's the first one I've had in days. Most people assume Rafe Cameron doesn't have a sentimental bone in his body, but he does. I've seen it first-hand but the others in Kildare never even give him a chance to show them how kind he can be. They paint him as this uncontrollable, cold monster but that's just not him.
After a while, I leave Tannyhill to go to the first location on my list. There's an overlook on the island that is usually avoided by the townโs residents because there is no railing to prevent people from falling. Rafe, however, loves it because of that fact. He likes the adrenaline of standing close to the edge and it terrifies me every time we go there but I go for him. When I get there I find it to be lacking his presence and head to the next spot on my list.
โฆ โฆ โฆ โฆ
After hours of running around to places all over Kildare. I finally reached the last place on my list. I'm starting to lose hope of ever finding him and I hate that feeling. The feeling of never seeing somebody you care about again and there's nothing you can do to fix it.
As I approached my last chance of finding him, I pause to take it in. The building I am met with used to be a greenhouse but has long since been abandoned. Half of the roof is sunken in and the plants that were housed inside are now overgrown. Vines and grass cover most of the exterior giving the illusion of a jungle. I eventually made my way to the entrance, maneuvering under the vines growing over the front doors. Once I am inside, the darkness overwhelms me and I wait for my eyes to adjust.
Once they do, I see tables with potted plants sprawled out across them and an amount of dust that can only come with time. Eventually, in the corner of my eye, I see him... sitting against the wall across the room.
โRafe!โ I gasp quietly.
I run to his side and see the extent of his injuries immediately. He has a black eye, a busted lip, and bruised knuckles. None of it looks life threatening which puts some of my fears to rest but not all of them.
โRafe? Hey, itโs me. Can you look at me?โ I ask gently.
He looks up at me and I almost break down in tears at the brokenness I find in his eyes. He looks like he has given up and that is tearing me up inside.
โHeyโฆโ He says softly. โYou found me.โ
โYeah, I did. I know you like it here. The whole โbeauty of destructionโ thingโฆhow could I forget?โ I say sadly.
He smiles weakly. โI knew you would find me eventually. You know me better than anyone.โ He moves to face me and winces slightly due to his wounds.
โI hate that you have to see me like thisโฆโ He trails off and looks away from me like he should be embarrassed over something that Ward did.
โYou shouldnโt even be hurt. This is all your dadโs fault just like it always is.โ I stop when I realize that I am getting worked up over something that is not important in this moment. โSorry, I shouldnโt say that.โ I apologize to Rafe. The apology is unnecessary though because he isnโt exactly unaware of my disdain for his father. Ever since I learned about the way Ward treats him, looking at him at him made me feel sick to my stomach.
He looks at me fondly and takes my hand in his. โItโs okayโฆI know you donโt like him. Iโm not even sure I like him most days but heโs my father, ya know?โ
He absent-mindedly rubs circles on my palm with his thumb while I attempt to formulate a response.
โI know he isโฆI just canโt stand to see you hurting, Rafe.โ I say as a tear slips down my cheek. I have been trying to keep my emotions in check these past few days but I am not sure how much longer I can keep it up.
โHey, donโt cry. Iโm okay, I promise.โ He says softly as he wipes the tear from my cheek as he cups my face and makes me look at him.
I look into his eyes as more tears escape mine. โI know you areโฆthis time. But what if you arenโt next time? I canโt do this without you, Rafe. I canโt.โ
He pulls me into a hug that I can tell was needed by both of us. I needed it to prove to me that he is really here in this moment, and he needed it to keep him tethered to reality.
โYou wonโt have to. I promise that I am never going to leave you, okay?โ
I nod into his shoulder as my face is currently buried in the crook of his neck. Something about today, this moment with Rafe, feels different. The air around us feels more charged than usual and I am scared to do anything as if moving will ruin it.
โI really missed you the past few daysโฆa lot.โ I say into his shoulder as I take a deep breath to calm myself after the stress of the days prior.
โI missed you too, sweetheart.โ He sighs as he says this. โI wanted to come back but every time I thought about going back and facing my dad made it impossible to. I wanted to tell you that I was okay, but I didnโt want my dad to find me this time. I-I needed to just get away from it all. Before I knew it, it had been three days, and I realized that I needed to come back. That I had to come back for you at the very least.โ He looked into my eyes then and my heart stopped beating. ย
The way he said those words and the way he is currently looking at me right now makes my breath hitch. His gaze is not his usual friendly one but one that holds something deeper. It makes me question if he feels for me even a little of what I feel for him.
โRafeโฆโ I whisper breathlessly as I donโt trust my voice to not shake if I were to speak with more force.
I donโt even know what I planned to say when his name came out of my mouth. Was I going to say something profound that would help him move on from this disastrous situation we were currently in? Or was I going to be stupid and just blurt out the fact that I loved him, that I was in love with him. Knowing me it was most likely going to be the latter.
The thought of confessing to him was absolutely terrifying but what is equally, if not more, terrifying is loving someone and never getting to tell them that fact. When he disappeared three days ago, I was sure he was going to come back. What the people in town were telling me was not far from the truth. He always came back. Then one day turned into two and two turned into three. I was so scared that three days was going to turn into some ridiculously high number and that high number would turn into forever.
I thought I wasnโt going to see him again and the part that broke me the most was the fact that I hadnโt told him how I feltโฆhow I feel still. This whole experience has made me realize that life is too short to lie to myself about my feelings or be afraid of them not being reciprocated. Yes, there was a chance that he wouldnโt feel the same way, but I would rather take that chance than never get to tell him how I feel. I owe it to myself and Rafe to be honest. I would rather live with rejection than live with never knowing his true feelings towards me. In this moment, I decide to tell Rafe how I feel, and I am terrified.
โRafe, I need to tell you something. I need you to listen and not say anything until I am finished, okay? I need to get this out and I donโt know if I can if you stop me.โ I speak quickly as my nerves start to pick up.
He looks at with a concerned expression but agrees to what I asked of him.
โOkayโฆโ I exhale the breath I didnโt realize that I was holding and prepare to tell him all that I have wanted to tell him for the past few months. I move my hand to the side of his face, a whisper of a touch grazing his face. I then pull my hand away to speak.
โUm, okay. To begin, I was so afraid that I had lost you the past couple of days. I know I already told you this, but I really want to emphasize that fact because I need you to understand how hopeless I have felt without you. I mean you told me about how youโve struggled with your mental health over the years and about the fact that you are impulsive to a fault.โ I stop for a moment to take a breath before continuing.
The next sentence comes out in a whisper as if saying it out loud would make it true. โI thought thatโฆthat maybe you had done something to yourself.โ
โI know you wouldnโt do that to your family o-or me but I started thinking of every worst-case scenario since your fight with Ward. I know you do this when you get overwhelmed, but you usually text me within a few hours or at least by the next day. When you didnโt do that this time, I panicked. I knew it had to be different because you wouldnโt purposely leave me like that.โ I reach up to caress the side of his face. I had to be as close to him as possible in this moment and I didnโt care if this action gave away the feelings that I have locked away for so long.
โAnyway, all of this has made me realize something. I have realized that life is short, and I have no idea what could happen or what tomorrow holds. I realized that I need to be honest with you about something that I havenโt even been completely honest with myself about until recently.โ I take a deep breath and prepare to confess my feelings to him.
โWhat Iโm trying to say, Rafe, isโฆIโm in love with you.โ My voice comes out timidly and almost like I am unsure of myself. I donโt dare to look at him because I am afraid that I will be met with an expression of pity. I remove my hand from his face so that he can take in everything I had just told him. My hand is almost back at my side when he grabs it with his own and puts my hand back where it was a few moments ago. He leans into my touch and his tense muscles relax in a way that I havenโt seen in a long time.
I stop breathing
โLook at me.โ He says this in such a gentle way that I almost pass out.
When I still donโt look at him, he puts his hand on my face in the same manner that my hand is on his face. I make eye contact with him and a shiver runs down my spine. The eyes that I am met with are not ones of pity, but ones filled with the most love that I have ever seenโฆand itโs for me.
โYou have no idea how long I have wanted to hear you say that.โ He breathes as his eyes well up with tears. โI have loved you ever since we first met. I didnโt know why or how it happened, but I always wanted to be around you. You were always on my mind, and it was the strangest feeling for me because I had never felt for anyone else what I do for you, sweetheart.โ A tear slips down his cheek and I quickly wipe it away with my thumb.
โYou quiet my mind and that is something I've strived so long for. My mind is always so loud and overwhelming but with youโฆโ He pauses to kiss my palm. The heat of his touch lingering long after his lips leave my skin. โโฆwith you I was finally able to just be. I was finally able to hear what really mattered.โ
โI am so madly in love with you, baby. I was yours the moment I laid eyes on you, even if I hadnโt realized it yet.โ I am completely dumbfounded by the words coming out of his mouth that I canโt even find my own to respond with.
โI am so sorry for leaving you without telling you where I was going. I never meant for it to go this far. I was just so overwhelmed that I couldnโt think straight. I promise that I will talk to you next time before doing anything. I donโt want you to feel like I abandoned you ever again. I am so proud of you for being honest with me, you know that? You are my reason to stay so as long as you are here, I will be too.โ He finishes speaking and it sounds as if he is out of breath.
I am truly speechless. He loves meโฆhe loves me? I never in a million years thought that Rafe could ever love me but here we are. I am still at a loss for words but luckily actions speak louder than the words I canโt seem to find.
I lean in and kiss Rafe in a gentle way to test the waters. Electricity shoots through me as he responds to my advances. The kiss was soft, tentative, and delicate. It deepened, not with urgency, but with a steady, quiet intensityโa sharing of something neither of us ever thought would be shared. Every sensationโthe warmth of his skin, the faint tremor in his hands, the way our heartbeats seemed to syncโwas magnified. When we finally parted, it was only by a fraction, our lips lingering close enough to feel the faintest brush of breath.
Our eyes met, and in that gaze, everything was laid bare. In this moment, I was more content than I ever have been in my entire life. It felt as if my whole future could be more than I ever thought it could be. As I looked into Rafeโs eyes, I saw a love that could never be broken, one that I wanted for so long.
Rafe loved meโฆhe was in love with me, and I would never take that fact for granted.
โThis is the best moment of my life,โ I say, laughing and smiling at him. I could barely believe the events that had transpired in the past hour, but I knew I would remember them forever.
โMine too.โ He said this with such warmth that I could barely feel the cool air in the greenhouse anymore.
โLetโs get you back to your sister. She had been worried sick.โ I say as I help him stand up from the floor.
โHas she now? I find that hard to believe.โ He jokes as he slings an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into him. He places a kiss on the top of my head.
โShut up! You know she loves youโฆ in her own way.โ I giggle thinking about how Sarah loves to tease him. Despite this, Rafe and I know that she cares about him more than she lets on.
As we walk out of the greenhouse and to my car, I am filled with a hope that wasnโt there before. I am excited to see what the future holds for me and Rafe but right now? Right now was enough for me.
โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ
โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ . ใโบ ใ . โฆ
ยฉ 2024, asheli1515. All rights reserved.
#obx series#obx netflix#obx fanfiction#obx fic#rafe obx#obx#soft rafe cameron#sad rafe cameron#rafe cameron#fluff#angst#rafe x reader
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Astro Observations๐
๐Okay let me know how you guys feel about this one, but Iโve noticed with Synastry, if say you have a cancer Venus and your partner has a Pisces Mars but theyโre not enough to make the trine aspect, the effect is still felt just not to the same extent. So imo itโs still a good and significant thing but it might almost be felt not immediately or as strongly as the aspect itself?
๐Everyone talks about how Virgo placements are always โcleanโ and โorganisedโ but I really think it depends on how itโs aspected. For example my Virgo ascendant is square my Sun and square my Pluto and Iโm messy as hell. Though I have to say thereโs some things where it might seem messy but itโs organised chaos in way? lol
๐Iโve noticed that one of the things that stand out the most in my relationships (romantic or otherwise) in people I get alone with, is Venus conjunct moon and Sun trine Moon. Those are always my best relationships where thereโs mutual understanding and mutual respect.
๐Moon conjunct Neptune tend be very psychic and intuitive people, especially if Neptune is well aspected to other personal aspects too.
๐Aquarius placements can be very clingy and I donโt know if they realise this but once theyโre comfortable with someone, they can be clingy and it can turn into them being like leeches too in some cases (I.e. will not let go at any cost and you have to pry them off). They also tend to stay in toxic situations longer than necessary at times especially if they have water placements in their chart too in their personal planets (for eg Aquarius Sun with a Pisces Venus)
๐Letโs talk about Libra and Pisces placements and their avoidance of conflict at all costs. Theyโd rather push things under the rug than deal with it head on or tend to be โfence sittersโ even when a situation calls for being firm in one side or the other. A lot of people think Geminiโs play devils advocate but in my experience, Iโve seen this mostly with Libra and Pisces placements.
๐Saturn in 8th house in a natal chart is a really tough placement to have. These individuals experience a lot of loss in their lives from an early age and their transformations tend be very intense, more so than most other peoples. They also tend to have delayed sexual experiences but it can also be explosive.
๐I am personally a fan of opposite connections (eg Taurus Moon x Scorpio Moon) in romantic and other connections. I think itโs the right amount of challenging but they also still have a lot in common. Of course there should also be other harmonious aspects in someoneโs chart too but I personally love opposite aspects in synastry.
๐I saw this on twitter and I was surprised that this person was dragged for it but there was a post about how air signs donโt work with water signs because air signs canโt be emotionally mature enough etc. all the usual stereotypes (donโt go on twitter astrology pages theyโre full of it on another note) but someone pointed out the air signs are actually very in touch with their emotions as they rule the heart chakra and they were mocked for it and it made me realise people actually donโt know this?? Air signs rule the heart chakra guys believe it or not and theyโre not as emotionally inept as people think they are ๐คฃ
๐I know 7th house overlays are considered one of the best because itโs the house that represents partnerships but people forget it also represents enemies, so itโs not unlikely you may not get along with some people who have 7th house overlays with (obviously check aspects as well).
๐Okay has anyone noticed that Sun trine Sun can definitely get along really well but they can also really despise each other?? Like Iโve noticed this a lot and I canโt figure out why, like even if they have other placements that are favourable, for some reason the Sun trine Sun is what Iโve noticed as a pattern the most for people that clash.
๐Prettiest/most good looking rising signs imo are Mercurial risings(gemini/virgo) and Cancer/Pisces risings. Idk thereโs something ethereal about them๐shoutout to Libra risings too
๐let me tell you something, one of the worst aspects you could have with someone(that Iโve experienced personally), whether romantic or friendship wise, itโs Mercury opposite/square Mercury. The communication is either really heated and you canโt get on the same page or non-existent and hard to come across. I donโt recommend it ๐
๐Favourite composite moon for friendships/siblings is Gemini/Leo. Favourite composite moon for romantic relationships is Taurus/Cancer or Libra and for parents/parental figures is Cancer/Virgo.
#astro notes#astrology#synastry#astro observations#synastry observations#astro placements#aquarius#libra#aries#Virgo#Gemini#zodiac signs#composite charts#composite chart#composite chart observations
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I don't watch a whole lot of television, so maybe I'm missing some perspective, but I've never seen a TV show where the Main Character was a fat gay man (or person in general, I'm not crazy enough to think they'd ever try to pull this with a fat lesbian for instance) where neither his sexuality or fatness were 1. An overt problem in the narrative or 2. The butt of routine or mean-spirited jokes. What We Do In the Shadows was awesome in so many ways, but it was also awesome because I got to see a gay and fat person do all kinds of shit as a main character without being constantly questioned or degraded for being fat! I really, really love Guillermo. He's a vampire slayer! An action hero! He looks cool, cute and sexy all at once in his action scenes- I love watching him grow as a character and stand up for himself, I love his jokes, he's really such a great character! So this final season sucked, right. Like this final season was total shit ass, I'm sorry. I'm so disappointed. I feel so let down. There are a million reasons why it sucked, but right now I just feel sad because of how everything turns out for Guillermo and the queer and fat representation in the show. First of all, it really threw me for a loop when the show opened with crazy fat jokes about Colin Robinson. That obviously did not land for me at all and why would it land for wwdits viewers? We are following a show where we are emotionally invested in a fat MC and we don't have a *problem* with fatness- so why would I think it's funny that Colin Robinson "got fat"??? Make it make sense lmao.
And I don't know why the fuck Nandor and Guillermo's entire relationship was abandoned. Did every single writer jump ship and get replaced by someone who's never seen the show or??? Well, it feels like a punch in the gut for a few reasons:
This show is supposedly "queer". Every known vampire is queer and Guillermo is gay. But the only consistent relationship is Nadja and Lazslo, which isn't a problem obviously we love them, but would it kill the show for there to be...? More visibly queer relationships? It's a show that insists its gay over and over again in word but not action. I don't care if Nandor and Lazslo like to fuck each other silly offscreen, and Nadja is also supposedly queer in some way, off screen- everything is conveniently off screen. Nandor and Guillermo did not *need* to get together, but the lack of explicit acknowledgement is weird. It just is.
Also, it would just be nice! Like am I crazy? Is it too much to ask for? To see a fat MC be in love and in a relationship not in spite of their appearance but just bc the other person likes them? I feel like every show with gay couples as main characters is a romance based show that is mostly About them getting together. Wwdits is so much fun because it's about so many things! But why couldn't this be *one* of those things? Can you think of a single show in the world right now where a fat queer main character is in a relationship and their looks or their sexuality are not the key point of conversation about the relationship? I can't! This was the perfect opportunity! Nandor and Guillermo fell into a well established relationship trope that had nothing to do with appearance or sexuality, and people who like that trope were naturally drawn to it. Why did they just spit on the whole thing? It makes no fucking sense.
Any response like "well sometimes unrequited love is a good plot" "X needed to grow and Y relationship was bad" "It's better this way because of XYZ" "It would have been toxic" this is a silly tv show about murderous vampires. Guillermo is also a murderer. There is just no possible way that a relationship between Guillermo and Nandor would have ruined the show lmao. It would have been fun! Remember when TV comedies were about being fun! I sure do! Apparently asking for a fun gay relationship between the queer main characters of the "queer TV show" is just too much to ask- better luck next time! Honestly, I feel so bitter lol. Bitter and sad. A show this fun and a cast this good deserved a waaaaay better ending all around. This post isn't even touching all the other weird shit and quite a lot of objectively bad shit that was wrong with the season
Before anyone gets all weird about my use of the word fat if you're not familiar with that, I am fat and I think fat is a neutral word and am trying to normalize the usage of it instead of substituting it with shit like "plus size". Fat is not an insult in the context of my words lol
#wwdits#guillermo de la cruz#nandermo#nandor the relentless#nandor x guillermo#rant#fat positvity#fat positive
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in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? ๐
i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL
Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!
(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)
I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.
Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.
Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):
Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.
Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.
The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*
Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!
Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.
A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):
Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]
Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]
Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.
Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.
Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]
Two in Six Billion [Denzou]
The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.
Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!
Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.
Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]
From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!
Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.
Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]
Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]
Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).
Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---
Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]
Incorrigible [Bbong]
Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]
Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]
Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.
Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:
Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.
ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.
Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.
Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.
MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.
Warehouse [Killerwhale]
Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]
Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]
Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]
Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)
Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]
Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]
Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]
My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]
Interview with a Murderer [KJK]
On or Off [A1]
Steel Under Silk [Snob]
The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.
Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.
Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.
19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.
Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.
Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.
That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!
#why does Tumblr only allow a certain amount of images#what a crime#bl recommendation#yaoi manga#yaoi recommendation#bl manga#top ten#my favorites#my recs#yaoi#sadistโs answered asks#whump#fujoshi#yaoi bl#saezuru tori wa habatakanai#scarlet beriko#harada#killing stalking
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Is Your Next Partner a Karmic, Twin Flame, or Soulmate?
Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is for my Patreon All Tiers. This pick-a-card reading is all if your next partner is a karmic, twin flame, or soulmate.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you canโt stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
Extended Patreon Includes:
What can you do to avoid or bring this person in?
What will you learn from this relationship?
Extra Messages
MasterList
Patreon Link
Ko-Fi Donations
Pile l:ย
What label is your next relationship? Tarot: Knight of Swords, Queen of Swords, 7 of Cups, Queen of Wands, 8 of Pentacles (all Reversed), The Chariot (Upright)
KARMIC. Pile l your next relationship is showing up as a karmic relationship. Now before you start denouncing the devil back to his corner office, just know that karmic isn't always a bad thing just like everything in life has a polar opposite of good and bad karmic is the same...except when it comes to this person. I hate this energy for you. I pulled a few more cards from an oracle deck and this person will disguise themself as your soulmate I'm hearing Taylor Swift "I'm a nightmare dressed as a daydream." At first, you are going to believe that this person is the one and will be over the moon but slowly over time this person will start to do the "Breadcrumb method" on you. For those who don't know what the breadcrumb method is "when you give an individual just enough morsels of attention to keep them or hooked into the relationship (or situationship), without any intention of really committing." for those who want more in-depth here's a video from TikTok https://tinyurl.com/4688bus3 . This person just wants your attention as well as the idea of being with you but does not want to be with you for a long-term commitment that goes anywhere. The Song Keep Me Hanging On by Kim Wilde is this situation "Set me free why don't you baby..you don't want me. You just keep me hanging on." I see a few of your friends will point this out to you or some of you won't mention it to your friends because you know what they will say but your guides want you to reach out to your friends and let them help you see the light to get out of this situation. Patreon Post Link
Pile ll:
SOULMATE. I love the energy of your cards pile ll. It's very peaceful, calm, and healing about this energy. You're next relationship I don't know why but for a lot of you this is something that was a long time coming. Maybe you have been used to karmic after karmic, aka lesson after lesson and now life has seen your growth because the sun is coming out to shine a blessing over your next relationship. This next person coming in for your love life will be about healing what other people have broken in you. For some of you, your previous relationships may have broken your trust in specific genders or even the types of people you tend to go after. You can relax your head with this person coming in because that is all they want you to do is relax, trust in them, and heal what I am hearing your feminine energy. If you are the masculine reverse the role of your next partner all you want is for someone to relax and trust you without you having to apply to boot camp to even get a name out of them. Your heart chakra will be singing with nothing but pure love with this person. You may have trouble opening up at first but when you do you will look in the mirror not sure of who the person is in the mirror you're looking because this person is meant to transform your life, mentally, emotionally, and for a few of you financially.ย Patreon Post Link
Pile lll:
What label is your next relationship? Tarot: ย ย The Tower, The Hermit, 9 of Cups, 8 of Swords (reversed), The Chariot, 10 of Cups.ย
TWIN FLAME. Britney Spears - Chaotic popped in my head as I looked at your pile's cards. This energy is beautiful but also a bit intense in a way like most twin flame connections are. I just kind of hate how TikTok has made Twin Flames out to be. It's not this lovey dovey relationship, even though it can be but twin flames you are basically walking mirrors to each other. I am hearing this quote from Twilight movie: Eclipse (3rd movie) from Bella's mother when she meets Edward and she says
"Renee: The way he watches you. Itโs like heโs willing to leap in front of you to take a bullet or something. Bella: Is that a bad thing? Renee: Itโs an intense thing. Youโre different with him. He moves you move, like magnets. Bella: I donโt know, weโre justโฆ Renee: In love. I get it." Link to clip https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6bWmjbXpiwย
Twin Flames are chaotic. They show you parts of yourself that you didn't even know existed as well as the parts of yourself that you may hate about yourself because technically you are one split from the same soul. But don't let this scare you because this connection is actually beautiful overall you know this person is your 10 of cups, your fulfillment, your person, your "everything" It's going to feel as if there is no one else in the world who is meant for you and other days you are wanting space you will second guess things but not enough to where you think about breaking up for good maybe a small break but leaving each other alone isn't an option because this person is it. They are your Yang to your Meridith Grey from Grey's Anatomy. Patreon Post Link
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay safe and be blessed
#spirituality#tarot reading#tarotcommunity#tarotblr#witchblr#pick a card#tarot cards#pac tarot#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a photo#pick a picture#pick an image#patreon
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๐ฆ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ ๐๐ฒ๐ต๐ต ๐ต๐ธ๐ฟ๐ฎ ๐ช๐ซ๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ป ๐ฏ๐พ๐ฝ๐พ๐ป๐ฎ ๐ผ๐น๐ธ๐พ๐ผ๐ฎ
pile 1 -- > pile 2 pile 3 -- > pile 4
my masterlist<3 . paid readings
Hello beautiful soulsโจ Today we will be looking into what you will love about your future spouse! I know this is really late but I have been a busy bee recently and trying to set up paid personal readings for yall. Remember to meditate, take a deep breath and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. The artist for pictures is @tnk_gr on instagram.
Pile 1
Cards: Ten of Swords, Strength, The Tower, Eight of Swords rx, Two of Wands, Fours of Wands, Eight of Pentacles, Ten of Cups Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands
Pile 1, you will love your fs's vunerablity. You may have been surrounded by a lot of people that don't like to express themselves and share their emotions. These people have even encouraged you to be emotionally closed off as well. But your fs is the complete opposite. A very emotional individual, they know they can rely on you when they are struggling and it will be refreshing to see someone be so open and honest about how they are feeling. I am getting that for some of you, you may originally be uncomfortable about how they express themselves because you were taught to hold back your feelings and keep them locked up. But your fs will teach you that it is healthy and normal to express your feelings when you are having a hard time, and to share your feelings and opinions. You will see your fs as a strong and brave person for being able to express themselves the way they do since it can be really hard to admit when you are struggling. I see this connection as a very healing and healthy connection. Your fs is like a beaming beautiful light in the darkness for you Pile 1. I am getting that they will have a shining smile and a very contagious energy. You will love how your fs will encourage you to do things you never thought you could do. The things that used to scare and intimidate you suddenly don't feel so scary when they are around. Scared of rocking climbing? When your fs is cheering you on like your own personal cheerleader, you feel like you can achieve anything. But I don't feel like this courage will be only when they are around. They just help you realize that you are strong, powerful, and can do anything you put your mind to. Ugh so cute Pile 1. I am also hearing that they won't push you to do anything you aren't comfortable with and will take their time with you when you may not be ready to tackle certain things. Overall Pile 1, you will love how fun and silly and encouraging your fs is. I also feel like they will give the best hugs and will know just how to seduce you. Last tiny note spirit left with me is that you may love their fat wallet LMAO (also heard some 18+ messages but it ain't that kind of reading (,,>๏น<,,)
Advice Cards:
A change in attitude towards the greater good could be beneficial Your guides and teachers are telling you that they hear you and are helping You are wiser than you think You are greater than your story Learn through reversals. Hold the opposing viewpoint for insight Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspect of your life
Channeled Songs:
Pile 2 Cards: The World, Ten of Wands, Five of Wands, The Magician, King of Swords rx, Three of Cups, Four of Wands, Queen of Pentacles Back of the Deck: Knight of Wands
Ngl I am getting that some of yall are thinking of your celebrity crush when you read these tarot readings and I ain't gonna confirm or deny that your fs is your celebrity crush, but I am saying it ain't unlikely with this pile. Of course this is only for a very small amount of you, but I felt it strong enough to mention. If not a literal celebrity, your fs feels like a celebrity to you. They may be really popular or have a lot of friends. I heard frat boy but that isn't for everyone. For you Pile 2, I feel like you will love how your fs treats you. I feel like your fs will act a certain way around other people and try to be chill and cool but as soon they see you they just melt and just act like a lost puppy. You bring out a side of them that not a lot of people get to see and you love that. I also feel like your fs will do big gestures for you like a big bouquet of your favorite flowers or write you love songs. It's giving Jackson from Sex Education vibes, especially when he asked out Maeve (sorry if you haven't watched it). Spirit keeps telling that they are really attractive and that you will find them very attractive. I am hearing some of yall will wanna draw them. I feel like yall will have a really close connection, you will probably be really good friends before dating, maybe even childhood friends. You will love the hard work and enthusiasm they put into the things they are passionate about. Your fs may be really artistic and talented, they have a lot of potential to achieve great things. I am also hearing that they are really compassionate and caring, especially about the people around them. They wanna make a difference in the world and help people that need help and help deal with problems that we have struggled. They really care about the Earth, they may even own a few plants and take care of the regularly. They are very ambitious and thoughtful and you absolutely swoon over it. But I also feel like they are just a really charming person, it's almost hard not to love them.
Advice Cards:
Ask and you shall receive Act on what you know It's time to try something new! Give yourself your own approval Be alert for your opportunity Keep the faith. Stay intentioned. Your perseverance will pay off
Channeled Songs:
(specifically at 2:47 lol)
Pile 3 Cards: Page of Cups, Eight of Wands rx, Judgement rx, The Star, Three of Swords rx, The Sun, Ten of Wands, Knight of Cups Back of the Deck: Ten of Swords
Pile 3, for your fs, I am hearing that you will be in love with their whole personality overall. In your eyes, they are just such a beautiful individual, someone that shines brighter than the Sun and radiates the energy of the most beautiful star in the solar system. You can tell how important your relationship will be for them and they are just the most loyal puppy. They are the kind of partner you make videos of, showing how you know they won't ever cheat on you. I really think you are the only person on your fs's mind, running around rent free and they never try to hide it. Your fs gives off such cute introvert vibes, like you wanna squish their cheeks cute. They seem really shy and quiet but I feel like you may wanna take them places, I am seeing specifically clubs or just places with bright colors. But I feel like your fs will let themselves go and feel free around you. They may be a little squishy in the face or just a very squishy person lol. You will also really love their body, spirit keeps showing me flashs of someone's body, specially their arms. They seem very muscular and veiny. I am getting such gentle giant energy from your fs. I keep seeing Superman from the show My Adventures with Superman. You might also really like their chest, they may have a big chest area. The conversations you and your fs will have are gonna flow so well, like you've never met someone that has connected with you on this level. You will have a lot in common. I feel like you have interests that you think a lot of people will judge you for but your fs will never judge your interests and always show so much interest in the things you wanna say. You may be a talker and I feel like they are a listener, always wanted to hear what's happening next in your life. You will love how they take the time to get to know you, they don't wanna rush things with you, they just want things to move at their own pace and let your relationship flow naturally. I am also getting you will love how close they are with your family and friends, everyone loves them and loves you guys together. (my goodness I also got 18+ message for this pile but it ain't that kinda reading (โ โโขโฯโโขโ โ) )
Advice Cards:
You are divinely protected. Remind yourself how safe you are It's time to challenge old beliefs Keep the faith. Stay intentioned. Your perseverance will pay off Seek to understand from a place of connection rather than separation You are intuitively gifted. Trust your guidance Your child self needs your attention
Channeled Songs:
Pile 4 Cards: Ten of Swords rx, Ten of Pentacles, Five of Cups, The Chariot, Seven of Pentacles, Seven of Pentacles rx, The Devil rx, Knight of Pentacles Back of the Deck: The Moon
Honestly Pile 4, I feel like you are the type of person to prefer someone "bad" over someone who is "good" cause you want adventure or something, and then get your heart broken by a real bad boy/girl. Well I feel like your fs will actually fulfill your bad boy/girl craving without breaking your heart. Like your fs is like your exact type but almost even better cause you realize they are better for you then what you usually like. Your fs is giving strong Alhaitham from Genshin Impact vibes. They are really smart and studious. You will really like how their brain works and how they seem to know everything, like they could talk about things you don't understand all day and you would still find it the most interesting thing ever. This connection is giving such Y/N in a fan fiction vibes my goodness. They are also probably pretty well off or make really good money and they like to gift you expensive things. Your fs seems really mysterious but I feel like they are caring in their own way. Like one day you think they are upset but they were actually just feeling shy that day or worried that you saw their their plans for a date. Which leads me to my next point which is that I feel like you will love how your fs shows their love for you. I don't think they will express themselves very much but they will surprise you with the cutest little date ever or get you something you were talking about to show that they listen. Like, I keep seeing the cutest picnic in the most aesthetically beautiful place and it's all so cute and you just melt like knees are BUCKLED. I also feel like they will have the CUTEST flustered face that only you ever see and have that effect on them. They are a secret simp and you eat it up. Your fs is also an amazing cook, they make the most delicious food you have ever seen and it tastes even better. Your fs is someone you can see yourself growing old with, starting a beautiful family, and settling down somewhere quiet. I heard "I feel like anything is possible with you by my side.". You guys will compliment each other really well and I am honestly living for this connection. You have strong sun and moon vibes. I see yall bickering playful but it's never in a mean way, your words are always filled with pure love.
Advice Cards:
No better time exists than right now Relax and feel good. You deserve more joy! It is important to ask for help Complete the project or task. Something is calling for closure You need to make the first move Give up resistance in your current situation Awareness opens a field of possibility in your life
Channeled Songs:
Thanks for tuning inโโง.ยฐ.โ๐ซงโขหโโงโ.
I also wanna thank yall so much for the messages you leave on my readings. I tear up all the time from the things yall write. It means so much that these messages reach you well and resonate with you! I hope this reading resonates well with you!
(ใฃโโกโ)ใฃ โค
#tarot#tarot reading#pick a pile#pac tarot#pac reading#pick a card reading#pick a photo#tarot reader#love reading#fs tarot#fs pac#fs reading#fs pick a pile#tarot card reading#tarotblr#love tarot reading#future spouse pick a card#future spouse#future spouse reading#future spouse tarot#advice#Spotify
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Winnick will come this close to writing a good, rightfullly angry character with BPD/CPTSD and ruin it by making him his conception of "a dangerous psychopath" because dc's understanding of mental illness begins and ends with the joker.
I like that Jason was angry i'm not gonna lie I enjoy the "bad victim who doesn't accept that they were a necessary sacrifice, who doesn't think what happened to them is something they should be expected to tolerate, like fuck your greater good, you weren't there, it isn't worth this." I think even looking at Jason's past before getting adopted he has reason to be angry, like he is poor af and starving and he had to take care of his mom and his dad is in jail because he couldn't see another way to provide and he gets trafficked -he has so many reasons to be angry. And he's not, and I love jaybin, but I think there are so many ways and things he can be angry about without it feeling classist. And I love that he can't emotionally regulate, that he has so clearly BPD/CPTSD because why the fuck would he not, have you seen his life (and that's not even counting the csa hc, which i am because willfully and consistently implying csa and then not addressing it/denying it feels like feeding into a culture of taboo that ruins lives and getting away with covert victim-blaming at the same time). The issue is that they lack finesse or any kind of understanding of anger. The think anger is a personality trait. They think angry = evil. They think being angry means you're violent at and about everything, that you shoot indiscriminately even though you've known better since you were a kid, that you're suddenly treating women like shit (which, wtf seriously) which okay maybe THEY treat women shitty for no reason when they're angry, but that'd be more of a them problem I'd say. Their portrayal of anger is classist because their conception of emotions hasn't evolved since fucking Descartes. Think anger = bad = poor and not only doesn't it occur to them that this is classist, they so instinctively assign moral value to the concepts of poor and angry that they don't realise it and just conceptualise poor=angry and end up with incredibly classist portrayals of anger. You can write characters that are mentally ill and violent without being ableist, you can write characters that are poor and angry without being classist, but that requires a level of respect for people, introspection, humility willingness to learn about the sensitive topics you are exploring that is simply not accessible to Winnick and so many other dc writers.
And here comes my very hot take that I'm too cowardly to say off anon: the pit shouldn't have healed Jason's malnutrition. Like, outside of canon I love big jay, I love big men who are emotionally vulnerable and need comfort etc. but in canon? It just comes off as another way to adultify Jason, and make the horrible things that happen to him acceptable. Jason "sleeping with Talia because he is fucked up about Bruce" because they both look like adults until you realise this is actually just rape and you can't put any responsibility of Talia taking advantage of the kid under her care (very ooc of course) on the child himself. Jason fighting Mia looking like a 40 years old beating up a teenage girl when they're the same damn age. Fucking Ethiopia 2.0. And Jason's murders as well, for the matter. Like don't get me wrong the duffle bag of doom is an iconic villain move, but it's just that: a massive shock effect and a "psychopathic" move. We shouldn't need Jason beheading anyone to be horrified, because just one murder, if written correctly, should be enough. A child killing someone is a terrible thing. A child being put in a position where they think killing someone is the only solution to ending suffering (thinking about the Garzonas case) is a terrible thing. A kid trying to kill his murderer (because fuck his death has to matter it has to) and only begging to be allowed it should be horrifying. Jason, with his unhealed malnutrition making him look a couple of years smaller and younger than his physical age, should look his mental age. It should be impossible to look away from the reality of what he is: a traumatized teenager who wasn't allowed to grow up. And he has a gun. This is already a horror story.
Make utrh!Jason a villain if you must, but have the guts to sit with it. Don't shove the fact that he was a hero and a victim under the rug because it's uncomfortable. Sit with the unease that sometimes someone is doing something bad and is suffering a lot, and maybe they're doing the bad thing because they don't know how to survive the suffering, and suddenly it's not easy separating hero from villain from victim. Your imaginary lines in the sand will not protect you from the crude reality of the complicated and shitty situations you have chosen to depict; you open the can of worms now you can't look away and let the worms roam free just because you're squeamish.
How does it feel to be psychic and be in my head and write part of my essay on Jason for me? Fuck, I have so much to say about this but I need a good night of sleep to formulate it correctly. Look for a longer answer tomorrow, but in the meantime, everyone sit down and look at this and look at it hard. Thank you.
#thank you to you too anon#I've ranted to my wife about this for the whole day bc I had feelings about it#I'll try to articulate them in text tomorrow since it's almost midnight#but yes HARD AGREE#dc#dcu#Jason Todd#Red Hood#Jason Todd meta
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Could I ask for either a poly or love triangle with the DreamTale twins? Theyโre my comfort characters and Iโm not doing too well emotionally recently. Love what Iโve read of your work! Have a good day! <3
Nightmare Sans and Dream Sans Love Triangle Headcanons, Ink and Error Love Triangle, Underfell Sans and Underswap Sans Love Triangle
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A/N: Hello there @artsyfangirl! I hope you do not mind that I am adding Fell and Blueberry as well as Ink and Error. Just take it as a bonus for you since you don't really have a good day!
Warning: Cursing from Fell
Gender: Neutral
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Nightmare Sans and Dream Sans
Almost impossible because the two of them are different and we cannot forget that Dream Sans and Nightmare Sans would always fight with each other as Nightmare is the leader of Bad Sanses and Dream Sans is the leader of Star Sanses.
It is like a war because the two of them are going to end up fighting with each other despite the war between the Bad Sanses and the Star Sanses ended many years ago but it's not as aggressive between Ink and Error Sans
Dream Sans going to steal your attention by trying to make you laugh with his silly antics or his stupid but funny jokes as he would talk with you.
He would also try to steal your attention by giving small but meaningful gifts, something like little trinkets, keychains, or maybe a hand-made sweet ( I headcanon that Dream can bake).
And he would also always listen to you talking about anything even though he does not understand. He would try to understand them and give the response that you want but sometimes....it fails.
Unlike Dream, Nightmare is much less obvious when he tries to steal your attention away from Dream Sans. He would secretly tell you about all the bad things Dream did.
When Dream is not around, he keeps you in his room and not letting you go out but keeps you around as his tentacles would hold you. Sometimes, his words could make you turn red because he would whisper those 'You look dazzling my dear in this outfit but you look even more amazing if you don't wear them.' (AYO- WHAT THE FUCK)
Trying to impress you by showing you what Dream might not have but he has it (For example, if you love the library. He would allow you to read the books in there and he would be your tutor).
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The stars sparkle under the darkness of the sky and two creatures stand together to see all of the stars since the stars shine the brightest at twelve at midnight. A skeleton with a golden cape and light blue jacket standing close next to his crush. They/he/she has (H/C) hair colour with (H/L) hair length with a pair of mesmerizing (E/C) eye colours and (S/C) skin colour.
Using his powers and the staff he always brought around, he created a portal into the Outertale Universe, a place where the stars were brighter than ever, and dreams seemed to come to life. (Y/N) was completely captivated by the mesmerizing beauty of the Outertale Universe. The stars twinkled with an enchanting light, and the whole place exuded a sense of peace.
On the other realm were a pair of cyan eyes seeing the sight from the crystal ball. A skeleton with tentacles and goopy slime all over him watched his brother being romantic to (Y/N) from the shadows, jealousy brewing within him as he saw Dream Sans and (Y/N) together in the Outertale Universe.
It did not take much time for a dark and swirling portal to appear far away from where Dream Sans and (Y/N) stood together to enjoy the sight of the stars, and ominous black tentacles emerged. They snaked towards you, reaching out like a rubber band and wrapping around (Y/N).
The cold sensation around the waist made (Y/N) (L/N) gasps in aghast, horror, and surprise. It was tight enough so you could not escape from the grip but it was not hard enough to hurt you in any way since he did not want you to get hurt. Nightmare Sans, who had been lurking in the shadows, had seized this opportunity to snatch you away from Dream Sans
Dream Sans was taken aback, a mixture of shock and horror painted across his usually cheerful face. In the blink of an eye, the person with (H/C) hair colour and (S/C) skin colour was taken away from Dream Sans and Outertale, leaving him in a stupor. "Oh no! I should go to Nightmare's castle!" He pulled out the staff from his belt.
On the other side of the world, (Y/N) crosses her/his/their arms together and stares at the goopy skeleton with a black stare. You are clearly not amused by his little stunt. "What are you looking at, don't give me that look," Nightmare Sans rolls his pinpricks. "Really? Suddenly kidnapping me out of nowhere when I was hangout with Dream?" (Y/N) squints her/his/their eyes. "Ughh, what so great about Outertale? I can bring you there every day if you want. I could even bring you to a better place," Nightmare scoffs.
The battle between the two brothers raged on, neither willing to back down as they wanted your attention and no one else could have it. . As this pattern continued, (Y/N) grew increasingly not amused with Dream Sans and Nightmare Sans constantly kidnapping her/him/them out of nowhere.
The constant fighting between the two skeleton brothers had become more of a burden than a romantic pursuit, and they/she/he wished for a way to break free from this never-ending cycle. "You two really acting like five years old. I'm even more impressed nowadays kids seem to be more mature than you two," (Y/N) mutters.
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Ink Sans and Error Sans
If the love triangle between Nightmare and Dream Sans is already bad. Ink Sans and Error Sand would be much worse than those two because they would constantly FIGHT for your attention.
It is so bad that sometimes it feels like you could just take a chair and popcorn just to watch the drama between these two because they would fight for anything, not just your attention.
Ink Sans when trying to get your attention is by bringing you to the portal and showing you all of the beautiful Alternate Universes to impress you since he is the protector of Aus.
He would also just steal you away when you have free time to draw together with him. Sometimes, he would throw bits of compliments on your drawing, even if it was bad. He just likes your creativity.
He would also try to create something out of his paintbrush, small gifts maybe something adorable such as plushies and giving it to you to make you happy.
Error Sans is not as romantic as Ink Sans sadly so he had difficulty stealing your attention but I can see that he would bring you to some beautiful AUS despite him being an AU's destroyer, to watch the star.
Protects you from the other skeletons surprisingly and not letting anyone touch you, especially Ink Sans as he glares at the protector of AU's since he knows Ink also has a crush on you.
Also, he's a bit of a bully. To get your attention, he would make fun of you and give you tons or ridiculous nicknames just to piss you off and he's always amused each time you react to him.
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On the small beanbag inside of the living room, a person with (H/C) hair colour with (H/L) hair length and a pair of (E/C) eye colour as well as (S/C) skin colour sitting on it with books sprawled around the small chair. (Y/N) had been enjoying a peaceful afternoon, nestled comfortably in the bean bag. Their/her/his eyes scan every word of the book.
The room was bathed in the soft glow of the setting sun, the perfect ambience for your novel. You had just begun to immerse yourself in the world of words when, out of nowhere, a mysterious portal appeared in the corner of the room. The portal was glowing with the colour of the rainbow decorating it.
Startled by the sudden appearance of the portal, (Y/N) dropped their book, their heart racing. From the portal emerged the skeleton with a spot of ink on his cheek, a giant paintbrush on his back and a giant brown cape draped on his back. The protector of the multiverse as he would protect the universes from certain skeletons.
"Hey (Y/N)!" Ink said cheerfully, a wide smile on his face. "What are you doing?" "I was just reading, Ink. What's going on?" Still, a bit bewildered by the unexpected visit, (Y/N) stammered to Ink Sans. "Well, I had this idea for some collaborative drawing, and I thought, who better to join me than you? We could create something amazing together!" Ink's pinpricks twinkled in excitement.
(Y/N) was initially hesitant because the books that you had been reading had not finished and it was in the chapter where the main character faced their rival. But the idea of spending time drawing and the thought about the possibility of creating art together with Ink sounded fun too. "Sure, why not? Let's go," (Y/N) agreed with a smile.
With a bright smile, Ink Sans gestured for (Y/N) to follow him back through the portal and leave behind the book that (Y/N) still had not finished. But all of that excitement was gone as (Y/N) and Ink went inside the portal. Unsurprisingly, there is another guest who was not invited by Ink. "Oh no....you gotta be kidding me," Ink sighs.
The skeleton stepped off from the strings once he saw Ink and (Y/N) on the ground. The familiar black skeleton with a black coat, blue hood and black slippers strutted up to both Ink Sans and (Y/N). "iT HaS BeEn SuCh a LonG Time Isn'T it? bUddY?" A smug smile spread across his face. "Error, Leave us alone. You had already spent time with (Y/N) yesterday. Today is my turn," Ink Sans rolls his pinpricks. "NaAh. I Don't ThiNK sO," Another portal appears behind him.
Ink Sans quickly took the giant paintbrush from his back so he could create a shield for you but he was too late because the strings were wrapped on every one of your limbs. Error Sans created another portal of his own and, with (Y/N) wrapped on his strings, stepped into it, disappearing from Ink's realm.
You couldn't help but let out a sigh of frustration. Turning to Error Sans, he was smirking and holding you as if you were his captive. "Error, you know we spent time together yesterday. You could have given Ink a chance. This isn't fair to him," you scold him,your irritation was evident in your tone.
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Underfell Sans and Underswap Sans
A love triangle between Underfell Sans, You, and Underswap Sans might be a little ridiculous because it feels like you are taking care of a skeleton that acts like a golden retriever and also some kind of skeleton that acts like an emo with anger issues.
The other one is going to bully you just to get your attention and just to see your reaction and the other one is trying to hog all of your attention and will follow you everywhere.
Underswap Sans can be a little bit of an attention seeker because he would try to make tacos ( and end up burning all of them or using the wrong condiment and creating something inedible).
If you are busy, would give you that sad look on you before begging you to hang out with him and when Underfell was too late to ask you, he would secretly smirk.
He actually knows that he does look innocent and cute despite he hate of getting called cute but when Fell was angry at him and you saw him. He will use his cuteness to get you on his side.
Underfell Sans can be a bully just like Error Sans but a little bit worse because he won't just be calling you ridiculous names. He would make you dress up for a deal, make you watch a scary movie, and be a menace.
Not surprisingly he would bring you to Grillby's bar to hang out with you and surprisingly he asked Grilly to help him out. Even though, he would end up having more tabs. He would pay for your meals and drinks as he wants you to taste the monster food too.
Underfell Sans also steals your attention by playing games together with you. I believe he knows many great games and he always invites you to play a multiplayer game with him.
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The temperature of the kitchen is rising as the sun goes up in the middle of the day, a person with luscious (H/C) hair and striking (E/C) eyes sat in the kitchen, typing away on your computer. The soft glow of her screencast a warm, amber hue across your face, illuminating the (E/C) eye colours.
It had been a long day, and they/she/he was racing against the clock to finish the mountain of files that had been assigned to her/him/them by the old-bladed head manager. But it won't stop nature from doing its job as (Y/N)'s stomach chooses this inopportune moment to growl with hunger.
You could not help but let out a quiet sigh, torn between your desire for food or the commitment to completing the tasks that had piled up. (Y/N) knew that they/she/he couldn't afford to lose any more time, but the rumbling stomach seemed to have other plans. With a heavy heart, (Y/N) decided to take a brief break.
She/he/they stood up from the chair and stretched their/her/his tired limbs and (Y/N) knew a hungry tummy would only distract the process of working and finishing the papers. In the fridge, you found some leftover chicken and colourful bell peppers. It was the perfect opportunity to whip up something quick and satisfying.
Before (Y/N) could make something, you could hear someone scream, "Mwehehehee! The magnificent blue is here!" Startled, (Y/N) turns around to see Underswap Sans. "Oh, hey Blue. Do you need anything?" (Y/N) tilts their/her/his head a little bit in curiosity. "Human! I heard your stomach grumbling! It was quite loud, human! how 'bout I whip up some tasty tacos for you??" The skeleton asks.
(Y/N) couldn't help but glance up at the ceiling, remembering that the Jolly Skeleton wasn't the best cook. His previous attempt at making tacos had been a disaster, he managed to burn them, and then, in a whimsical attempt to salvage the situation, he had sprinkled glitter on the charred mess. (Y/N) had tried to be polite and take a bite, but it had been quite a horrible mistake.
As (Y/N) hesitated, contemplating whether to accept his offer or not, the door to the kitchen from the living room was suddenly slammed open, causing both Underswap Sans and (Y/N) to jump in surprise. Standing in the doorway was Underfell Sans. "Oi, loser, You said you're hungry? Why don't we get some grillby on the corner? The dumb baby tacos aren't edible for your intestine," Underfell Sans grumbled as he glanced at Underswap Sans.
(Y/N) felt relieved as Underfell Sans gave a solution or an easy way out of the situation. You didn't want to hurt Underswap Sans's feelings, but you also didn't want to endure another round of eating burnt glittery tacos. (Y/N) turned to Underswap Sans and gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks for the offer, Sans, but I think I'll go with Underfell Sans this time. I'm craving for French fries," You told him. "B-but those are unhealthy! They have so much grease!" Underswap Sans said.
Underswap Sans couldn't hide the disappointment that washed over him when (Y/N) rejected his offer. He let out a resigned sigh and watched as Underfell Sans escorted (Y/N) out of the kitchen. There was a pang of sadness in his eye sockets before his eyes shifted to Underfell Sans who silently glared at him, puffing his cheeks altogether.
He turned to look at Underfell, who was secretly smirking at him. Underfell was well aware that he had managed to steal (Y/N)'s attention away, and the competitive edge between the two skeletons continued to burn.
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#undertale au#undertale alternate universe#undertale headcanons#undertale imagines#undertale scenarios#underswap sans#underswap sans x reader#blue sans#blueberry sans#underfell sans#underfell sans x reader#fell sans#ink sans#ink sans x reader#error sans x reader#error sans#nightmare sans#nightmare sans x reader#dream sans#dream sans x reader#underswap#underfell#dreamtale
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