#what if eddie was like ... why is he taking so long to find the website

[whim-prone-pirate]

it's really hilarious that one of the main plot points of the batman 2022 was caused by neither bruce nor gordon knowing literally any spanish at all

[justmeinadaze]

Secret Underneath (Steddie X Plus Size You)

"She's got a secret underneath (she's got a secret underneath) Yeah, she's his naughty little freak (yeah, she's his naughty, little freak) She likes to put on a show (she likes to put on a show) She likes when he takes control (she likes when he takes control)"

A/N: This came from utter annoyance at men online and just desperately trying to find a confident man who cares.

ENJOY!

Warnings: Sugar Daddies Steve and Eddie/ Baby Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, daddy kink (cause im me), blindfold, toys, voyeurism (I guess. They watch her pleasure herself on cam), dirty talk. Sub/dom dynamics, oh um age difference even though its not mentioned (guys are about mid to late 30s and Reader is in her mid to late 20s)

ANGST, Reader is assaulted by an ex (mentioned but not expanded on) boys comfort her, mentions of her wanting to be held and tired of feeling lonely, guys online try to flirt in the beginning but she shuts them down. I think that's it. Cliffhanger ending because again...Im me.

Word Count: 5555 (ooooo :P)

“I can take care of a young little thing like you. You’re perfect”

“If I’m perfect why do I need someone to take care of me?”

“Do you want to help Daddy finish, baby? My big hard cock needs some help.”

“Oof a real Daddy doesn’t need to announce how big his cock is. Try again, little boy.”

“I bet a little girl like you needs to be put in her fucking place, you stupid fucking slut. Now get naked and send me nudes or else.”

You role your eyes as you promptly block the person who sent you the message. When you signed up for this sugar baby website you were hopeful to find someone who wasn’t like the “men” you had talked to on regular dating apps. You wanted someone who knew what they were doing, confident, and could handle your sass without running. 

You had met a few who could live up to the title but none you wanted to keep around long term. 

Sliding your mouse through the images, you found a profile that intrigued you. The image attached wasn’t of one man but two and it didn’t show their faces. It wasn’t odd for the Babies to want anonymity like yourself but your profile picture at least showed all of you in your curvy glory with a mask blocking your eyes and lingerie blocking everything else. Daddies always felt the need to show off so usually their profile images accentuated their faces and/or their money.

These two, with an account named Mogul/Rockstar, were only photographed from the neck down and it was definitely a picture they took, not some professional or anything like that. The man on the left had a black, well fitted suit with his admittedly gorgeous hands holding a glass of whiskey. The man on the right was a bit less put together with torn jeans and a blue jean vest over his bare chest just barely blocking the tattoos that peaked out. You assume he must have long hair because the ends of wavy locks rested on his shoulders.

When most men reached out to you it was with some silly pick-up line or innuendo. This profile, however, simply sent you one word; “Hello.”

(8:45pm) “Hey there. Not much for words?”

(8:47pm) “We imagine you’ve heard them all. : ). “

(8:48pm) “Are you really two people? Or do you just have an extra ego?”

(8:48pm) “Oh or let me guess! Your dick is so big it counts as another person.

(8:50pm) “I mean my friend IS a big dick but lol”

(8:51pm) “Yeah, honey, it’s really two people. We like to be clear about that. Any Baby that becomes ours would be just that; ours. 

(8:53pm) “We’ve learned pretty quickly not many women feel comfortable with two Daddies which is absolutely fine and why we are up front.”

(8:54pm) “How up front are you being really when you don’t show your face?”

(8:55pm) “Hm. Not a yes girl. I like that. It’s good to ask questions. 

(8:57pm) “We do that for a couple of reasons. One being we are well known faces so we don’t want a Baby to choose us solely on that.”

(8:57pm) “Because you don’t want to be embarrassed?”

(9:00pm) “Asking questions is good. Interrupting isn’t. Don’t do it again.”

(9:01pm) “Or what?”

…

(9:08pm) “Or what, huh?”

(9:15pm) “Fuck you! Ignoring isn’t very Daddy like!”

(9:16pm) “Oh? Did little baby get her feelings hurt? We don’t ignore as punishments but you aren’t ours yet, sweetheart. If you don’t want to follow any rules that’s fine. We can just continue looking and you can be a brat with someone else.”

(9:18pm) “I’m sorry.”

(9:19pm) “What’s the other reason?”

(9:22pm) “Actually, that’s the biggest reason. Our fame gets in the way of a lot of things if you can believe it. Expectations are ruined and certain ideals are put in place.”

(9:23pm) “My reputation as a rockstar makes some ladies think I can’t be soft and I definitely can. Our image isn’t solely who we are.”

(9:25pm) “I can understand that. Being a bigger girl people think I’m either desperate or my weight becomes a fetish to them. Which, I mean, fetishes are fine but men make me feel like…it’s the ONLY reason they are sexually attracted to me.”

(9:26pm) “And not because of your personality. Yeah…”

(9:28pm) “Is that why you’re a bit of a brat? Lol need to weed out the idiots?”

(9:30pm) “Something like that. Lol.”

(9:32pm) “Baby, I think my friend and I are in agreement that we’d like to try this out if you’re willing. You don’t have to see us or do anything you don’t want. Per the anonymity that was mentioned, we aren’t going to give our names so you don’t have too either. We also won’t be showing our faces so, again, you don’t have to.”

(9:33pm) “More than anything, we just want someone to look out for and talk to. Maybe make you feel good from time to time if you let us.”

(9:35pm) “Ok, Daddy.”

(9:36pm) “Good. Good girl. : ). We can talk on here until the three of us get more comfortable and then we can give you our numbers so you can talk to us there or individually. As you can imagine, rockstar travels a lot and so do I for deals so we aren’t always together 24/7.”

(9:40pm) “Are you both friends or partners?”

(9:42pm) “Friends for sure.”

(9:43pm) “Ok, baby girl, we’ll let you go but we’ll talk to you tomorrow. Get some sleep.”

(9:45pm) “Good night, Daddy.”

(9:46pm) “*Daddies”

(9:48pm) “Good night, honey.”

(9:48pm) “Sweet dreams, princess.”

As you laid in bed that night, you couldn’t help but wonder who they could be. You did some quick googling of businessmen who were friends with rockstars but that was stupid because that was a very common friendship found within industries. Rolling over, you plugged in your phone to charge it, pausing when you heard it ding.

Mogul/Rockstar deposited $300 into your account!!

Wow. No man had ever sent you that much just for an introductory conversation. Maybe because it was two of them they felt the need? As you drifted off to sleep, you found yourself getting more and more curious about them, dreaming of possibilities that may come to be.

############

That first month went by a lot smoother than you expected it to when it came to this account. They were incredibly kind and genuinely seemed to care about your day and what you were up to. Any time you voiced any kind of concern, they listened and did what they could. For example, you wished you could tell who was responding when since at the moment they replied as one. A few minutes later Rockstar changed his text to be red so you knew you were talking to him. 

When it came to finances, they were more than generous, giving you a set amount of $500 at the end of each day. They never once asked for anything sexual or made innuendos about their bodies or yours. 

As the second month began however you found yourself getting antsy.

(6:42pm) “May I ask a question?”

(6:43pm) “Yeah, of course, anything, honey.”

(6:45pm) “Can we do something…I mean can you help me…”

(6:46pm) “We can help with anything, princess. You just have to ask like a big girl.”

(6:47pm) “Can you…help me cum…”

(6:47pm) “Please, Daddy.”

(6:48pm) “We can do that for you, pretty girl. If you want. You remember the rules?”

(6:48pm) “Yes, Daddy.”

(6:49pm) “You don’t even have to turn on your camera or mic or anything. You can just…watch me.”

(6:50pm) “We never do anything we don’t want to do.”

(6:51pm) “But we would love to watch you cum. Do you have toys or were you just going to use your fingers?”

(6:53pm) “I have toys, Daddy.”

(6:54pm) “I actually just got this rabbit vibrator but I have no idea how to use it.”

(6:57pm) Mogul/ Rockstar has invited you for a video chat.

Biting your bottom lip, you grab your mask and pull it over your eyes, checking your appearance in the camera box before clicking their link. The camera box was still just their image from the site which you expected but was pleasantly surprised when a husky voice flowed through your speakers. 

“Hey, honey. You don’t have to turn your mic on if you don’t want to. We just thought it would be fair since you’re about to vulnerable with us.”

You smiled as you turned on your microphone. 

“Is it vulnerable? It’s just…masturbating right?”

“I mean, are you playing with yourself on the internet for just anyone?”

The second voice that followed through sounded extremely familiar as if you heard it somewhere before. It was incredibly sexy none the less. 

“No.”

“Then I would say you’re being vulnerable, babe. Jesus, you are really beautiful by the way.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”, you beam.

“Can we ask why shorts and an oversized shirt? Most women wear the lingerie or a bra and panties.”

“Or are totally naked.”

“I just want to be comfortable. I’m not roaming around my house in a bra and panties.”, you giggle. “I take those off as soon as I get home from work.”

“Very fair. We’ve never asked what you do. Do you feel comfortable telling us?”

“I’m a teacher. Another reason for said anonymity.”

“Again fair.”

“Um, may I ask, whose voice is whose?”

“Yeah, pretty girl. I’m the Mogul.”

“I’m the rockstar.”

Smiling, you nod but you find yourself completely unsure of how to proceed. Usually, you could play innocent and do what you needed in the bedroom but something about these men were making you…

“Honey, are we making you a little nervous?”, Mogul asked in a sweet tone. 

“Yeah a little bit. I’m sorry.”

“No reason to be sorry, sweetheart. Can you do your Daddies a favor and show us the toy you got?”

Like a little kid in a store, your smile grew as you opened the box by your feet and produced the pink vibrator, displaying it for them to see.

“Is that your favorite kind of toy?”

“Usually men are but—” You quickly covered your mouth with your palm not meaning to let your sass slip out like that. Again, you were surprised when you heard both men laugh.

“I like that sassy attitude.”

“The confidence to.”, Mogul adds. “Don’t cover up that personality for us, baby girl. We’re big boys. We can handle it.”

“Most men can’t.”

“Most men aren’t us.”

“That’s for damn sure.”, you smirk as your thighs rub together. 

“Why don’t you take off those short for us, sweetheart?”, Rockstar suggests as you nod, rising from your chair to bring them down and toss them aside. “Good girl. Can you open your legs for us so we can see that pretty pussy?”

Licking your lips, you close your eyes as your open your legs giving them a good view. 

“Open your eyes, baby girl, and don’t move them from the camera.”, Mogul commands in a firm tone. “Jesus, man. I bet she tastes really fucking sweet.”

“And is really fucking tight. That toy is going to stretch you out I bet.”

You moan at their words as you tease your slit with the end of the vibrator.

“I wish you both were here to help me.”, you whine as you palm slides under your shirt to massage your breast. 

“Go ahead, honey. Push it into your cunt and tell us how it feels.”

Mewling, you easily guide it inside of you, the subtle vibration against your clit driving you crazy.

“Fuck, it feels so good, Daddy.”

“Yeah, princess? Fuck, I’ve never wanted to eat a pussy so bad in my life. Look at her. I just want her to ride my face till she cums over and over.”

“Fuck…yes.”

“You’d like that, baby? Make a mess all over Rockstar’s face.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Such a dirty little girl. Can you say it for us?”

“I’m…I’m a dirty girl. Fuck, Daddy, it feels so good inside of me.”

“Fuck, baby girl. You’re so fucking sexy. Make yourself cum.”

“Can I, Daddy? Please. I’m so close.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. You have our permission.”

Your body shook as you came, your hips grinding against the toy as you elongated your high. 

“Good girl, honey. Very good. Come back to us.”

“Th-thank you. Thank you.”, you grin as you bite your lip. “Wait, did you guys cum? I wanna hear it.”

“This was about you, babe. We didn’t touch ourselves.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that we’re really fucking hard though after that display.”, Rockstar laughed.

“Are you serious? You guys didn’t…at all. Most men do.”

The image in their camera box suddenly changes and their laps from the waist down come into your view. Both men were wearing shorts and you could vaguely see their bulges poking through. Their hands were gorgeous, one littered with rings that you assumed belonged to the rockstar. 

“Again…we aren’t most men.”

“Don’t make us have to remind you again.”

Nodding, you softly apologize as you lean back in your chair.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you pouting?”, Mogul asks in a tone that makes you smile. 

“Not really. I just…I wish you could hold me.”

“Yeah…yeah, princess, we wish we could to.”

“Will you ever trust me enough to show me your faces?”

You listen as they heavily sigh.

“Maybe. Let’s just take this one step at a time, ok?”

After your good nights and lying in bed alone, you don’t know why but you begin to cry. You had been alone for so long, broken hearted from the bullshit your ex put you through. You loved what the site offered but you wondered if that momentary high would be enough to sustain you. You just wanted someone who would hold you and tell you everything was alright. Someone who would take care of you and make you feel safe so you didn’t have to worry anymore about…everything. 

As your phone dinged, you glanced at the notification that illuminated your screen. 

Mogul/Rockstar deposited $2000 into your account!!

Hardening your heart, you reminded yourself that you were strong, squeezing your eyes tightly shut as you forced yourself to sleep. 

##############

(6:15pm) “Hey beautiful. What are your plans tonight? Rockstar and I were thinking maybe the three of us could have a camera date and just talk. Nothing sexual.”

(6:17pm) “You don’t have to of course.”

(6:20pm) “Sweetheart, you know how we feel about you not answering.”

(6:25pm) “Shit, you guys. I’m so sorry. I was charging my phone while I was getting ready! I actually have plans tonight.”

(6:27pm) “Ooo that sounds like fun. Spending some time with friends?”

(6:29pm) “Not exactly lol My ex actually invited me to dinner so we could talk about some things.”

(6:30pm) “You’re going on a date?”

(6:32pm) “Um, I guess you can call it that.”

(6:32pm) “Is that a problem?”

(6:33pm) “We made it clear that if you agreed to be our Baby you would be ours.”

(6:34pm) “Virtually, yes, but the information and rules you gave me didn’t say I couldn’t go out on a date. 

(6:35pm) “What. Did you think I was just going to be ok with not knowing who you two were and never having you two fuck me or hold me. 

(6:35pm) “To not go on actual dates and feel wanted.

(6:36pm) “Needed.”

(6:38pm) “Didn’t realize you needed everything spelled out for you. Relationships take time. Like you we imagine, we’ve been burned before. We don’t want another whore who’s only dating us for our money or status. We deal with fake people enough!”

(6:39pm) “We like talking to you and you’re so beautiful. We WANT to see where this goes but if you’re in that much of a rush maybe this was a bad idea.”

This Baby is currently offline. You may leave messages for her and she will get this when she logs back in!!

***

(9:32pm) CurvyBabyWAttitude has invited you for a video chat!!

(9:34pm) Mogul/Rockstar declined your invitation for a video chat.

(9: 35pm) “Please…I need you…”

(9:38pm) “Now you need us? After your date I’m thinking didn’t go well since it’s 9:30.”

(9:39pm) “Try again, little girl. We aren’t the kind of men you use whenever you feel like.”

(9:41pm) “We have feelings to.”

(9:45pm) “What? No sassy come back? Nothing sarcastic you want to say?”

(9:50pm) Mogul/Rockstar has invited you for a video chat!!

“Jesus Christ. What happened, baby?!”

When you illuminated their screen, you were a complete mess. Your hair was frayed every which way and even under the mask covering your eyes they could tell your make up was smeared from tears. Your black dress that you had worn was torn at the sleeve, hanging down as you held it together with your hand. 

“Did that fucker hurt you?”, Rockstar growled. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know who to call. I’m so sorry, Daddy. I should have stayed here with you. I’m just so tired of feeling lonely. As soon as that fucker showed me even a little bit of attention I just…”

You listened as they mumbled to each other, unable to make out what they were saying as you dried your tears with your fist. 

“We’re in New York right now. Are you close to that state?”

“Y-Yes?”

“Do you trust us? Say it.”, Mogul replies sternly when you nod.

“Yes, I trust you.”

“There’s a hotel outside of the city. I’ll message you the address and room number. You follow the instructions we give you to the letter. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

***

“Hi, um, I’m checking into a room…under, um, Baby Girl.”

You cringe as you relay the information but all the young lady does behind the hotel counter is beam over at you as she types on her computer. 

“Ah and here’s your key. Do you need an escort or anything?”

“Oh, uh, no, ma’am, thank you.”

“No problem! The gentleman said he would be right there.”

You glanced around you nervously as you rode the glass elevator up to the floor your room was at. You appreciated that they didn’t make you go to some run-down Bates Motel but you were still a bit on edge. 

Heading for the door, you paused taking a deep breath before putting in the key and slowly entering the room. It was a modest little room but lived up to its five-star rating just on looks alone. Shifting your gaze, you realized quickly you were alone but noticed a note with the words “Baby Girl” on the mattress. 

Lifting it up, you found a black silk eye mask one would use for sleeping folded underneath. 

“Please place this mask over your eyes and we will be right in. 

We know it took a lot of trust for you to drive out here so we’re trying to meet you halfway.”

Taking a seat, you sighed as you tried to put the thing over your head, struggling a bit as a bruise had begun to form where your ex tugged at your dress. 

The sound of the door clicking and swinging slowly open caught your attention as you froze in place. 

“Um, f-full disclosure, my eyes are closed as well. I couldn’t get this thing further down and I could see under the—” You point at the bottom of the mask as the door closed. 

Cologne filled your nostrils as footsteps walked closer to you. 

“Is it ok if I touch you so I can fix it?”

Your head tilted to the side at the sultry, smooth voice just above you.

“Yeah…who-who is this?”

“I’m the mogul in our name. Rockstar is on his way.”

“Were you two not together?”

You feel the atmosphere shift as he kneels in front of you and his fingers gently hold your head as he adjusts the mask to be more comfortable.

“We were but he wanted to stop and grab some things in the lobby. How does that feel?”

“Better, thank you.”

He withdrawals his hands but he doesn’t move as you feel his eyes scanning you over. Braving crossing a boundary, your hands carefully reach out and find his cheeks. Taking a hold of your wrists, Mogul helps guide your movement over his fluffy hair making you smile at how soft it is. When your thumb finds his lips, he exhales heavily and his warm breath has your pussy clenching around nothing. 

Abruptly, the door beeps and opens again as the smell of cigarettes fills the room.

“Do you know how hard it is to find ice in this goddamn palace!?”

Your head tilts again as you try to follow the new voice as he moves about the room. 

“And that would be the rockstar.”, the man in front of you assures as he pats your thigh and sits beside you. As he goes to release your hand, you immediately reach for him again, afraid of being in the dark now that they were here.

“Next building you buy should be a fucking hotel so you can put things where us humans can find them.”

You hear what sounds like someone being lightly hit as everything becomes silent again. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Sorry. My mouth tends to move before my brain does.”, he replies in your direction at a bit of a calmer register as he bounces on to the bed beside you. “God, asshole got you good, huh? Ok, this is going to be cold.”

You yelp and wince when something freezing lands on your arm. 

“I searched for like an actual icepack but I guess the 5 stars don’t include first aid.”

“Ok! I get it. You’re not used to fancy places, dude. Jesus.”

Rockstar laughs through his teeth making you smile again as your free hand reaches towards where you assume he is. Your fingers touch hair first and your eyebrows scrunch together as you realize you found the ends just above his shoulder. 

“Yeah, I, uh, wouldn’t run my fingers through that. It’s all tangled. You may get stuck and have to stay with us forever.”, he chuckles before it trails off. 

You can feel them both watching you as your palm finds his cheek and like with his friend your thumb moves along his bottom lip. They were a bit more chapped but based on the smell you assumed that was due to the cigarettes. As your hand began to travel down his neck, you paused and pulled away not wanted to make either man uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry.”, you mumble.

“What are you sorry for, honey?”

“I don’t mean to be…that much of a brat, you know. I like talking to you both to and I want to see where this goes but…I guess I’m like him sometimes.” You pause as you gesture towards the rockstar. “My mouth moves before my brain. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be my Daddies anymore.”

Both men were silent for what felt like an eternity before the ice was removed from your skin and replaced by lips. A pleasant sigh escaped you as he tenderly kissed your bruises.

“Why did you ex hurt you?”, Mogul asked.

“Because he’s a fucker.”

“Yeah, we gathered that.”, Rockstar teased as he leaned away from you but intertwined your fingers with his. 

“He, uh, took me on a date to this tacky little restaurant that I told him a million times I hate and then on the drive home he insinuated because he took me out I’d want to…you know.”, you exhale as your head hangs. “I’m just so tired of being lonely. I just want someone to take care of me. ME. Not the supposed ‘whore who needs to be put in her place’ or ‘the desperate big girl’. I’m strong and I can take care of myself. I’m just…tired.”

Fingers tenderly moved your hair behind on of your ears. 

“God, I love your attitude.”

“It’s not uncommon for us to constantly run into ‘yes’ people. It’s one of the problems we have with Babies. Always ‘Yes, Daddy.’ Or ‘Of course, Daddy.’ Sometimes we can’t tell if it’s them being genuine or pandering to us to get what they want. Which…I guess is fine but…”

“Not what we’re looking for.”

Your hands search for Mogul’s face and he grins as he leans in allowing you to touch him. When your lips find his, however, he hastily pulls back and rises to his feet. 

“Hey, no, honey. You don’t have to do that. That’s not why we came down here.”

You feel yourself start to panic, losing your bearings since you can’t see. You had gotten used to them both being next to you and when he stood up you suddenly felt lost. 

“I’m right here, princess. You’re ok. Everything’s ok.”, Rockstar murmurs in your ear as he squeezes your thigh.

“You don’t want to fuck me?”, you ask to the void, unsure of exactly where the other man may be. 

A deep, guttural groan echoes in front of you as you turn your head towards it.

“I’ve never wanted something or someone so bad in my life, baby, but… that’s not why we came here.”

“He doesn’t want you to feel used. Your ex tried to do that and he doesn’t want you to feel like we’re the same.”

“I don’t. I don’t feel that way at all, Daddy.” Your voice had dropped into that little girl tone as you fully allowed yourself to be vulnerable for them. “Please…”

Lips connected to yours again but the taste was different. The nicotine that lingered on his tongue mixed with the slight taste of mint toothpaste set your body on fire as it fully came to life and you wrapped your arms around the man’s neck as he gently tilted you onto your back.

The bed dipped on your other side and you disconnected from one set of lips to another. You became lost in his kisses as his tongue danced with yours and their hands roamed your skin. 

“We’re going to be gentle tonight, baby girl. Let us take care of you.”

You allowed them to undress you and waited patiently as they removed their own clothes. Lying on either side of you, they each lifted one of your legs over their hips as their lips and tongues sucked on your neck.

Rockstar’s fingers glided through your folds and you groaned loudly as he massaged circles into your clit. While running your hand through his hair, Mogul licked and sucked on one of your nipples making your hips buck as you searched for more friction. 

“Please.”

“What do you want, sweetheart? You want my fingers?”

“Yes, Daddy, please.”

His nose presses against your cheek, his mouth opening in a silent moan as he effortlessly guides two of his digits inside of your core. 

“Fuck. I was right. You are tight. Jesus, sweetheart, our cocks are going to stretch you open, baby.”

“Can…Can I have you both?”

“Can you handle that?”, Mogul asked with a slight whine of want. 

“Yeah, Daddy. I can, I promise.”

“Baby girl, I don’t think you understand what you’re asking for.”, he chuckles and you listen as he sucks on what you assume is his fingers. “You may think we’re cocky but trust us we’ve earned the right to be.”

You suck in a breath as you twist your hips and feel two long thick fingers pushed into your ass as both men thrust their digits into you. 

“Oh…my…”

“Can a little girl like you handle your Daddy’s big cocks inside of you at the same time?”

Your hands cling to the man in front of you as you passionately kiss him, his tongue catching your moans as you tremble and trench his fingers as you cum. 

“Y-Yes, I can…I can handle it.”

They abruptly sit up and manhandle you around the bed, Mogul’s arms holding you tightly as he places himself on the edge of the mattress with his legs hanging off the side. Just as you had, his palm comes up to caress your face as his thumb traces your lips. 

“You’re so beautiful, baby.” You softly smile at the sincerity in his voice while he circles your arms around his neck. “Just hang on to Daddy, ok? We got you.”

His hair tickles your nose as he tilts his head and grips his cock between your bodies. 

“Shit, um, I almost forgot. Is it ok…I don’t think we have condoms.”

“It’s ok. I’m protected and I’m clean. You can cum inside me…if you want to…”

“Fuck, sweetheart, you’re going to kill us. Ok, go ahead and baby let me know when you’re ready for me.”

“Yes, sir.”

You feel his mushroom tip tease your entrance making you both moan. 

“Take your time, honey. I got you.”

As you slowly descend onto him, he sucks in a breath as your fingers thread through his hair. 

“So big. Fuck, Daddy.”

“How does she feel, man?”

“Mmpf, tight. That’s it. You’re almost there.”

When you’re fully seated on top of him, his forehead leans to rest on yours as his humid breath fans your face. The action causes you to clench around him and he grunts in pleasure.

“Hang on to me.”, he whispers as he tips back onto his hands tilting you with him. 

Rockstar spits in his palm behind you and you mewl as he rubs it between your cheeks.

“Are you ready, princess?”

“Yes, Daddy, I’m ready.”

Holding your ass open, he gradually slides into you.

“Oh fuck. I wasn’t expecting… goddamn baby girl.”

Ringed fingers take hold of your bicep as both men thrust into you at the same time hitting every spot inside of you that has you melting into them. 

“Oh my God. Yes!”

“Yeah, baby? Fuck, dude. I don’t know how—mmm—how long I’m gonna last. Her ass feels so good.” A hand slaps your behind making you moan as another strong palm grips the back of your thigh guiding your movements as you bounce back into theirs. 

Lips in front of you open mouth kiss your chest up to your neck as you push them closer to your skin. 

“Please. Fuck, Daddy! M’gonna cum.”

Slamming their hips up to meet yours, your body quivers as the coil snaps.

“Atta girl, honey! Making a mess all over our cocks and coming hard like that. So fucking sexy.”

Clinging to them tightly, you allowed them to use you to chase their highs. The man behind you warms your insides first, grunting as his rhythm falters. The man in front of you soon follows thrusting his spend deep inside of you.

“We’re going to pull out, sweetheart, ok?”

“Ok, Daddy.”

After carefully removing themselves, you feel yourself being lifted into the air and spun around before being placed on soft pillows. A wet rag cleans you and you pleasantly sigh as you curl under the covers that were placed over your body. 

“Are you both going to stay?”

Cool metal touches your skin as a hand pets your head. 

“Do you want us to?”

“I promise I won’t look.”

Warmth encases you as they lay on either side, murmuring praises as you steadily fall asleep. 

#################

When you woke up the next morning you were alone, finding a note on the nightstand that said they thought it best to leave before you woke up but that the room was yours for as long as you need and to message them when you made it home. 

You did what they requested but decided to utilize the rest of your Sunday for yourself thinking about everything that happened. You heard your phone pinging but you didn’t want to talk to anyone wishing you could call in that following Monday. Unfortunately, you made a promise to a friend, you couldn’t break. 

“Y/N, honey, are you alright?”, your colleague asks as she lightly elbows your side. 

“I’m fine. Just an interesting weekend.”

“Alright, guys so this where all the important decisions are made.”, the building tour guide obnoxiously smiled as she guided the class around the office space. “Let’s see if the boss is available.”

“Well thank you for chaperoning with me. When Mrs. Ludwig cancelled I thought I would have to reschedule.”

“No problem. I know nothing about business and economics but…”, you giggle. 

“Holy shit!”

“Mark!”, your friend shouts. “Watch your mouth! Jesus!”

“Mrs. Raymond, it’s Eddie Munson. The guitarist from Corroded Coffin!”

Turning your head in that direction, you realize two men are staring your way, one of them indeed the famous rockstar. 

Rockstar…

Blinking you tilt your head as you notice the rings on his fingers.

That voice. I knew that voice.

“It’s not uncommon for us to see Mr. Munson around here. Him and Mr. Harrington have been friends for a long time. Right, sir?”, the tour guide asks.

“Steve Harrington? The business mogul?”

Mogul…

“See, Y/N. You know some things about the business world.”, your friend grins. 

As the world around you seems to slow down to a halt, you three continue to stare at each other as you figure out where to go from here.

[sidekick-hero]

In Loving Memory

Written for @steddieangstyaugust Day 4, prompt: Angst with Happy Ending

Tags: Modern AU, rockstar Eddie, plane crash, HAPPY ENDING, minor character death

words: 3.3k | AO3 | mature

“Good afternoon, Mr. Harrington. My name is Elizabeth Quinn, and I’m part of the cabin crew today. Thank you for choosing to fly with us. I hope you're enjoying your flight so far.”

Steve looks up at the owner of the soft voice to his right. It’s a young woman in a stewardess uniform with big brown eyes that instantly remind him of Eddie.

“Oh, hello. Uhm, yes, everything is fine, thank you.”

The stewardess smiles warmly. “I'm glad to hear that, sir. I wanted to discuss a situation we’re currently facing. As you may know, flights can sometimes be overbooked, and today we have a few more passengers than seats available in first class. We’re looking for a volunteer to move to another section of the plane. In exchange, we’re offering a significant compensation package, including a voucher for a future flight, a complimentary upgrade on your next trip, and a gift card for our in-flight shopping.”

She looks apologetic, and he can tell she hates asking him this. It’s not a particularly long flight, and he mostly booked first class because that’s what his father’s secretary always did for him the few times his parents had him fly to wherever they were. So giving up his seat for a four-hour flight doesn’t seem too bad.

“Yes, I can move to another section of the plane. That’s okay,” he tells the stewardess and is rewarded with a bright, genuine smile adorned with dimples. Another thing that reminds him of Eddie. He pushes the ache in his chest down and returns the friendly smile with one of his own.

“Thank you so much for doing this, Mr. Harrington. If you have any specific preferences or questions, please let me know. Your understanding and cooperation greatly help us ensure everyone has a comfortable flight.”

With that, she leads him to another part of the plane, presumably Economy class.

“This one right here, Mr. Harrington. It has extra legroom and is situated next to an emergency exit. I will make sure you have a pleasant flight with us. You can call me with the call button or find me at the front or back of the plane.”

Steve nods with another smile that falls as soon as she walks away to prepare for takeoff. His thoughts wander back to the reason he’s on a flight to LA today.

Eddie.

He still wonders if this is a good idea. When he bought the ticket to LA, he was sure of it. The panic that had constricted his throat had lessened as soon as he pulled up the website of the airline and he felt like he could breathe again for the first time when he got the confirmation mail.

It’s a long shot, he knows that. Surprising Eddie in LA after everything that happened but he hopes it’s a grand enough gesture that maybe Eddie will forget how much Steve has hurt him. Robin suggested to just call Eddie and apologize, explain to him why Steve was so reluctant to take the next step with him.

The truth is, Steve doesn’t think he could handle it when Eddie didn’t pick up the phone or just hangs up on him before he can say his piece. If Eddie decides that it’s too much for him, that Steve’s too much, too damaged, then be it. But he needs to see Eddie one last time, drink in those beloved doe eyes one more time.

Steve thinks about why he and Eddie fought the last time they saw each other. Growing up in a very conservative household, Steve always suspected he might like men as well as women, but he denied any attraction toward men because of what his parents might say. He knew they wouldn’t accept him.

He was 31 when he walked into a bar in Chicago with his best friend Robin and locked eyes with the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. Eddie was the first man he ever kissed, ever slept with. He couldn’t help himself, not when Eddie flirted with him, wooed him, and made him laugh with his whole body. Steve always assumed what they had was strictly physical, just some fun between two single guys.

But Eddie wanted more than that. He wanted a relationship with Steve.

Eddie had asked Steve to be his date on the red carpet in LA for the Grammy Awards. Eddie was actually nominated with his band, Corroded Coffin, and he wanted to show the world who he loved. But Steve was scared. Everybody would know he was in a relationship with another man. So he declined, and Eddie left Steve’s apartment heartbroken.

Steve can still see the look on Eddie’s face, the hurt in his eyes. It had shattered something inside him, but his fear was stronger. He had watched Eddie walk away, the love of his life slipping through his fingers because he was too afraid to hold on.

Steve’s thoughts are interrupted by the plane's PA system crackling to life, announcing their imminent takeoff. He leans back in his seat, staring out the window as the plane begins to taxi down the runway. The memory of Eddie's face, the pain in his eyes, is as vivid as ever.

He had tried to justify his fear, telling himself it was about protecting Eddie, about not wanting to put him through the scrutiny and judgment that would come from being seen with another man. But deep down, Steve knew it was about protecting himself. He was scared of what his parents would think, what the world would think.

As the plane ascends, Steve closes his eyes, replaying that last conversation with Eddie in his mind.

"Steve, I love you. I want us to be together, really together," Eddie had said, his voice trembling with emotion. "I want you by my side at the Grammys. I want to show the world who I love."

Steve had felt his heart pound in his chest, a mix of fear and longing. "Eddie, I can't. You know how my parents are, how everyone will react. It's not that simple."

Eddie's eyes had filled with tears. "It is that simple, Steve. Either you love me enough to be with me, openly and proudly, or you don’t. I can’t keep hiding us. I can't keep hiding you."

Steve had stood there, silent and conflicted, as Eddie walked out the door. The sound of the door closing behind him had felt like the end of everything.

The plane levels off, and Steve opens his eyes, blinking back tears. He knows this trip to LA is a long shot, but he has to try. He has to make Eddie understand how much he means to him.

Steve takes a deep breath and pulls out his phone, opening the notes app. He starts typing, trying to find the right words to say when he sees Eddie.

The flight attendants come by with the beverage cart, and Steve looks up to see Elizabeth smiling at him. “Can I get you anything, Mr. Harrington?”

“Just some water, please,” Steve says, returning her smile.

As she hands him the bottle of water, she says softly, “It looks like you have a lot on your mind, if you don’t mind me saying.”

Steve looks up at her as he accepts the cup of water and finds that he actually wants to talk with someone about what he’s about to do. He needs someone to tell him that it’s going to work out.

“I do. I’m on my way to win back the man I’m in love with.”

There, he said it. He admitted that he was in love with another man and now he’s fighting the urge to hide, scared of her reaction. But he holds her gaze, heart pounding in his chest.

“Oh,” she says, her eyes softening, “that explains the look on your face. I think you’re very brave, Mr. Harrington.”

Steve takes a moment, contemplating how much to share. But he feels a strange sense of comfort in Elizabeth’s kind eyes.

“His name is Eddie,” Steve begins, his voice barely above a whisper. “He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He’s kind, talented, and makes me laugh like no one else can. But I let my fear ruin everything between us.”

Elizabeth listens intently, her expression encouraging him to continue.

“We fought because he wanted us to go public, to be together openly. He wanted me to go with him to the Grammys, to be his date. But I was too scared of what my parents would think, what people would say. So, I said no. And he left,” Steve explains, his voice cracking.

Elizabeth nods, understanding in her eyes. “That sounds really hard, Steve. But it also sounds like you care a lot about him.”

“I do,” Steve says, his eyes filling with tears. “I love him more than anything. That’s why I’m going to LA. I need to tell him how sorry I am and that I’m ready to be with him, no matter what anyone else thinks.”

Elizabeth places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It takes a lot of courage to admit when you’re wrong and to fight for what you love. Eddie is a very lucky man to be loved so much by you, Steve. I hope he sees that.”

Steve smiles, feeling a bit lighter. “Thank you, Elizabeth. I really hope he does.”

Elizabeth gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze before moving on to the next passenger. Steve watches her go, feeling a much needed sense of hope. He’s made mistakes, let fear dictate his actions, but he’s ready to make things right.

About two hours into the flight, Steve decides to stretch his legs and walks up and down the narrow aisle. He passes families with little kids, an elderly couple working on a crossword puzzle together, and two young women chatting and laughing. It’s fascinating to see so many different lives intersecting in one place.

On his fifth lap, Elizabeth appears next to him, gently touching his arm.

“Steve, could you please take your seat and fasten your seatbelt?”

He looks at her, puzzled. “But the seatbelt signs are still off.”

“That’s true, but from experience, I know the signs could come on any minute. I just wanted to give you a heads-up before the aisle gets too crowded with everyone returning to their seats.”

Steve nods, appreciating the heads-up. “Thanks for letting me know.” He heads back to his seat.

As Steve settles in and fastens his seatbelt, the plane suddenly lurches violently. The cabin shakes with a gut-wrenching turbulence, hurling passengers and their belongings through the air. Panic erupts as screams fill the cabin, and Steve clings to his seat, trying to stay calm amid the chaos.

Elizabeth dashes down the aisle, her face pale and eyes wide. She spots Steve and rushes over, her voice barely audible over the cacophony. “Steve! Call Eddie! Now!”

Heart pounding, Steve scrambles for his phone. His hands tremble uncontrollably as he dials Eddie’s number. The turbulence makes it nearly impossible to hold the phone steady, but he manages to keep a grip.

The call connects, and Eddie’s voice comes through, thick with confusion and worry. “Steve?” He asks and then he must hear the chaos in the background because he immediately adds, “What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

“Eddie,” Steve’s voice cracks as he fights back tears. “I’m so sorry. I should have been braver. I should have been all in. I’m on this plane, and it’s really bad. I wanted to come to LA to talk to you. I wish I could have done all this in person. I wish I could kiss you one last time.”

Eddie’s voice trembles with desperation. “Steve, what’s happening? Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Steve’s eyes dart around the cabin, the plane shaking violently as alarms blare and panicked voices rise. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t want this to be a goodbye, but I think it might be. I needed to tell you how much I regret being so scared, and I’m sorry for hurting you. I love you, Eddie. I should’ve told you when I had the chance.”

The turbulence worsens, and the plane begins a terrifying descent. The noise in the background grows louder and more intense. Eddie’s voice, filled with panic, tries to reach him. “Steve, stay with me! Please!”

But as the plane’s descent becomes more violent, the call goes eerily silent. Steve’s heart pounds in his chest as the only sound now is the relentless, chilling dial tone. Tears stream down his face as he grips the phone tightly.

Elizabeth returns to Steve’s side, her eyes filled with kindness and urgency. She places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Hold on, Steve. It’s going to be okay, but I need you to fight. For Eddie, okay?”

Steve nods, trying to steady himself amidst the chaos. He closes his eyes, focusing on Eddie’s voice and the love they shared, holding onto the hope that somehow, somehow, he’ll get another chance.

The last thing he hears is the deafening roar of something massive hitting the ground way too fast.

When Steve opens his eyes, he’s immediately overwhelmed by blinding light and searing pain. He groans, wishing for unconsciousness to take him away again so the agony would stop.

“Steve?”

The sound of Eddie’s voice pulls him from the sweet embrace of nothingness. The panic in Eddie’s voice is palpable, as if he’s on the verge of breaking down.

“’ddie?” Steve mumbles, his mouth feeling like it’s stuffed with cotton and his tongue heavy.

“Yes, I’m here, Stevie. I’m here.” Suddenly, Eddie’s beloved face appears above him, his eyes red-rimmed and watery. “Hi, baby.”

Steve manages a smile, the pain momentarily overshadowed by the sight of Eddie’s face. How he’s missed those eyes.

The thought brings Elizabeth back to his mind, the stewardess with the same eyes. Reality crashes back, and Steve gasps with the sudden realization that he should be dead.

“What… happened?” he croaks, his voice barely audible as his strength begins to wane.

“I promise I’ll explain everything, Stevie, but first we need to get your strength back. I’ll let the nurse know you’re awake.” Eddie reaches for the call button next to Steve but stops to press a gentle kiss to Steve’s forehead. “I’m so glad you’re here. I was terrified of losing you.”

That’s the last thing Steve hears before darkness pulls him under once more.

The next time Steve wakes up, he feels a bit better. The pain is still there, but it’s dulled by the medication, making it manageable. He’s strong enough to talk more than just a few minutes, and he uses that strength to repeat to Eddie what he had said on the phone during the crash.

Eddie is holding Steve’s hand between his, his tear-streaked cheek resting gently on the back of Steve’s hand. His eyes are still red and puffy, but he speaks with a steady voice that is thick with emotion. “Steve, I could never just walk away from you. I knew you weren’t ready, even though it hurt. I planned to talk to you when I got back to Chicago, to tell you that I would wait for you, as long as I wouldn’t lose you. But when you called and I heard all that screaming… Fuck! I can’t even think about it without wanting to throw up. The crash was bad—most of the front was completely destroyed. It’s a miracle you survived.”

Steve blinks, trying to piece together the fragments of his memory. “How… How did I survive?”

Eddie’s gaze is intense as he searches Steve’s eyes. “From what they told me, you were supposed to be seated in the front, but you weren’t. No one could explain why. Your seat was right next to the emergency exit, so they got you out quickly. And you had your seatbelt fastened, which probably kept you from being thrown around too much. It’s almost like fate that you survived. Only twenty-three people made it.”

Steve’s eyes widen as he absorbs Eddie’s words. The thought weighs heavily on his chest: If it hadn’t been for Elizabeth’s warning, he might not have been so lucky. He’s sure she’s the reason he’s still here.

A flicker of concern crosses Steve’s face. “Elizabeth… she was a stewardess on the flight. She moved me to this seat, told me that first class was overbooked and asked if I’d be willing to switch. And she also made sure I fastened my seatbelt just before we started going down.”

Eddie’s eyes grow wide with shock. “But… they said on the news that casualties were below a hundred because first class wasn’t as full as usual. They said no one in that section survived.”

Steve’s heart pounds as he starts to realize the gravity of Elizabeth’s actions. “I need to find out if she survived, Eddie. She saved my life, and I need to thank her.”

Eddie’s eyes brighten with resolve. “We can do that, Stevie. I need to thank this woman, who saved the man I love. What’s her name? I’ll get Chrissy on it—she’ll find out in no time.”

Feeling his love for Eddie surge, Steve lets it overflow for the first time without restraint. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

They share a long, tender look, like lovesick teenagers, before Steve remembers Eddie’s question. “Her name is Elizabeth Quinn.”

Eddie’s expression changes abruptly. All color drains from his face.

“What did you say her name is?”

“Elizabeth Quinn. Why, do you know her?”

Ignoring the question, Eddie asks, “What did she look like?”

Steve describes Elizabeth, including her big brown eyes that reminded him of Eddie’s—one reason he bonded with her almost instantly.

As Steve finishes, Eddie looks even paler. Wordlessly, he pulls out his phone, navigates to an article from the airline, and hands it to Steve. The headline reads: “Airline Grieves Loss of Crew Members on Flight 731.” The article features a picture of a stewardess who looks just like Elizabeth. Her name is listed below the photo: Elizabeth Quinn.

Steve’s heart sinks as he reads the name. “That’s her. Elizabeth Quinn.”

Eddie’s voice trembles as he looks at Steve. “Elizabeth Quinn was my mom. She was a stewardess, and she died in a plane crash when I was eight.”

Steve’s eyes widen in shock. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. I had no idea.”

Eddie’s eyes are glassy as he looks at Steve. “She was the best person I knew. She loved her job and loved helping people. And now it seems she came back to help two more people: me and you.”

Steve reaches out weakly, placing a hand on Eddie’s. “I wish I could have thanked her in person. But I did tell her about you—how funny, smart, and amazing you are. How much I love you. And I should have known, because you look just like her. The same kind eyes and dimples when you smile.”

Eddie squeezes Steve’s hand, his voice breaking. “I’m glad you got to meet her. God, this is so crazy. I was so angry for so long that she left me. I know it’s unfair, but that’s how I felt. I miss her so much.”

“She knew you loved her. She made sure you wouldn’t lose another person you love, because she loves you too. Even if she’s no longer here, she’s still watching over you.”

“Over us, you mean. I’m pretty sure this means you’re part of the family now.”

Eddie still asks Chrissy to check the airline's list for Steve’s savior. He’s not surprised when Chrissy reports that there was no Elizabeth Quinn on that flight.

[notafragilething]

Not-So-Late Night Buck & Tommy Ramblings: I'm Back!

I have survived my chaos week and, with the help of a very large Iced Latte, I'm here to share all the thoughts that have been building up this week in the world of Buck & Tommy. I'm not going in any specific order but I'm going to start with the thing I find most significant and that is what is happening in regards to interviews with Ryan this past week.

Another clip of Ryan talking about Buddie dropped today and I've seen two extremely opposite reactions to it amongst fans. In this clip he basically said he wasn't a writer, he'd be open to it if it happened but said it was important for the storyline to be seen as a heterosexual man supporting his bisexual friend and how things didn't change. Some people think this means Buddie is definitely happening in season 8 (or even a reveal of some feelings this season) while others think this means that Buddie is getting less and less likely. Those favoring it and saying it means Buddie will happen seem to be focusing on the fact that they were still allowed to ask Buddie-related questions. I bring this up because I do think it plays into the discussion of whether Tommy will be a more long term love interest moving into season 8.

What I find most important about this answer is how it is almost exactly the same as all his other responses to Buddie-related questions from that week. He hit the exact same key points and I think it's very obvious at this point this isn't an organic answer. These are points that PR and marketing very likely told him to hit. And the fact that he is answering all Buddie related questions by explicitly saying Eddie is heterosexual is really standing out to me. That is, in my opinion, very intentional.

So what do I think it means? I think it means that they are definitely not planning on buddie happening (this season or next). They are intentionally linking all questions about buddie to very explicit statements that the one member of that pairing isn't queer. One big issue earlier this season, when Buck came out, was websites taking answers from other interviews and writing clickbait articles suggesting Buddie was going to happen. This makes it harder for those types of articles to pop up. It's why we likely haven't seen as many like we did with Oliver's statements (which were very similar minus explicitly saying Eddie was heterosexual). I personally think this is how they'll handle it for the remainder of the season and they'll progressively continue to distance themselves from Buddie moving into next season. Personally, I think there is a lot happening to suggest Tommy is sticking around and they're being intentional with how parts of the fandom are reacting to that. Especially since it's been a very positive reaction so far for this new couple of BuckTommy.

In other news, which is somewhat related, we know we're getting Tommy next week because he is was in the trailer. We also know that we're getting Captain Gerard at the medal ceremony. I've seen a lot of people predicting this will somehow impact Buck and Tommy but personally, I think this is going to play into bringing Tommy more into the 118 family. I think we're more likely to see an interaction between Tommy, Hen and Chimeny over him being there.

In my last post I also had people asking me about Oliver deleting a bunch of photos from Instagram. I did a bit of research and that seems like it's the norm for him.

Be back tonight for an update on the Buck/Tommy Hospital kiss reel because it hit 1 million views.

[thelikesofus]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by the wonderful @thekristen999, @spotsandsocks, and @hippolotamus xx

How many works do you have on ao3? 49

What's your total ao3 word count?

156,649 which seems crazy omg

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently 9-1-1

Previously: Fairy Tail, Akagami no Shirayukihime, and some rpf for K-Pop bands

Top five fics by kudos:

Words Fall Short (Tongue Tied and Lonely) 15k words

Buck misoverhears Eddie complaining to Hen at work and presumes the worst. He slowly starts to phase himself out of Eddie's life and Eddie doesn't know why.

you are my boy, buckaroo 1.7k words

Buck is in the wrong place at the wrong time and Athena comes to the rescue.

Lazy Sunday (Lay With Me) 1.2k words

A quiet, cuddly Sunday morning between Buck and Eddie on the Diaz couch.

ring the bells 5.3k words - Buddie CoffeeShop AU

Buck starts frequenting a coffee shop near the firehouse in hopes of running into the beautiful man whose coffee he mistakenly drank.

Wine (Whine) 1.5k words

Buck makes plans without Eddie so Eddie goes to Karen for wine and a whine and then comes home to Buck.

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to! I usually reply to some the same day I post a fic and then go back and reply to the rest a few weeks later. But every comment is so important to me <3

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am incapable of not writing happy endings haha but the angstiest content in a fic was probably in lightning crashes seeing as Buck literally died right in front of Eddie's eyes, more than once.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Crushes, Shivers and Bruised Knuckles has a super cute sappy ending <3

Do you get hate on fics?

Not often, I've had the odd snide comment but so far I've been pretty lucky.

Do you write smut? Nope. Just not my writing vibe.

Craziest crossover:

Haven't written any crossover fics yet but i've been dipping my toes into AUs a bit more recently.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Years ago yes sort of, I had a fic reposted to another website without my permission but still credited to me.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, not yet.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not published, but the lovely @lilbuddie and I have played around with some ideas before.

All time favourite ship? Buddie, they have taken me over body and soul. Never has a ship inspired me to write so many fics.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a few WIPs from other fandoms (not 911) that I abandoned a long time ago and now the source material has changed too much for the fics to make sense to finish which is sad cos some of them I was really excited about (RIP the Australian Adoption Adventure fic).

What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions, particularly of physical intamicy/tactile situations cos I'm hyper aware of where everyone's limbs are at all times. I think I'm pretty good at getting character's verbal tone right too.

What are your writing weaknesses? Other than finishing WIPs?? Long fics, honestly. I have so many ideas but find it really hard to plot out and execute long form fics.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? Character specific I think.

First fandom you wrote in? Fairy Tail

Favourite fic you've written? I have some new WIPs coming soon that I think will take the title but here's some current favs:

9-1-1:

Crushes, Shivers and Bruised Knuckles 9k words

Eddie starts kickboxing, goes to therapy and realizes he's in love with Buck.

lightning crashes 9.7k words

Eddie is thrown from the ladder truck during a lightning storm on a call but it is Buck who ends up in the hospital.

Not 9-1-1:

Hindsight (Through Rose Tinted Glasses) - Stray Kids (8.6k)

Hearts Beat (Louder Than Bombs) - NCT War AU (25k ongoing)

Tagging a few lovely mutuals who might like to share:

@loserdiaz @shortsighted-owl @sibylsleaves @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @elvensorceress @bekkachaos and anyone else who wants to tag me in their version of this! I love hear about people's writing xx

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

<< Beginning < Prev || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 64: April 2017

It was significantly colder in Newcastle than it was in London, and Jon hadn’t prepared for it. The jumper was warm enough for the few blocks between Sloane Square and the Institute, or for exploring the tunnels—although they weren’t doing that so much anymore, not with the Not-Them trapped in their depths—but only helped a little on streets three degrees above freezing while the wind blew in odd little eddies that curled around buildings to catch them off-guard. He’d loosed his hair from the half-topknot he’d pulled it back in that morning in the hopes that it would make his neck warmer at least, but he still found himself trying not to shiver, or at least trying not to make it obvious he was shivering. He failed at both.

“Here.” Martin stepped closer to him and held his jacket open to one side. “You’re going to get pneumonia or something. I told you to bring a scarf.”

“You didn’t,” Jon grumbled, but he didn’t hesitate to tuck himself against Martin’s side.

“No, but I wore a jacket.” Martin let the side of the jacket fall and wrapped his arm around Jon as he pulled it closed, trapping him in the warmth. The scent of new leather—a Christmas gift from Gerry—mingled with the odor of lanolin from his jumper and the usual mint and cherry smell that always clung to Martin, and Jon felt a tension he hadn’t even known was knotting him up bleed away. “And I’m a Northerner by birth, remember? Just because I’ve lived in London since I was seven doesn’t mean I’ve completely forgotten.”

Jon sighed and leaned against Martin for a moment, as ill advised as that was while they were trying to walk. “Thank you. For coming with me. I’d have asked Melanie rather than come alone if you’d said no, but…I’m glad you came.”

“I’m glad I came, too. And not just because Melanie doesn’t have enough body fat to stand between you and hypothermia.”

“Also because Melanie and I are more likely to do something stupid?”

“Maybe a little.” Martin smiled down at Jon, that smile of his that always sent warmth flooding all the way to his toes. “Mostly because I’m enjoying spending time with you away from the Institute, even if it is work-related.”

Jon felt his cheeks heat up a little, and he ducked his head to avoid Martin’s gaze. “I like that, too,” he said quietly.

It wasn’t the first time since Jon’s return to the Institute that they’d spent time away from it together, of course, but it was definitely the furthest they’d ever gone. Aside from the previous week’s gathering at Cinnamon Rose Books, they’d spent two separate evenings at the small pub Martin and his siblings preferred (Nancy had taken to Jon at once, for a wonder, and the second night they’d stayed long enough for the singing to start, leaving Jon enchanted when Martin was persuaded to take the lead in a song). Jon had lost his flat during his weeks in hiding, not that he minded all that much, so he was still staying with Melanie until he found a place of his own, but he’d gone over to Martin’s a couple times for dinner. Both times he’d accidentally fallen asleep and woken up on Martin’s sofa with a blanket tucked around him and Martin sitting nearby humming softly.

It felt…easy, being with Martin. Right. Jon wanted to say that what they were doing was dating; it certainly felt like it. But since he hadn’t even admitted out loud that he was in love with Martin, and obviously Martin hadn’t said anything, he supposed they were simply…hanging out. Keeping company, as it were. Which was…fine. It was fine. Jon would take it, would take any excuse to be around Martin.

Which was why he’d made the suggestion to Martin that they head to Newcastle together after finding the reference in the latest statement from Elias. When Breekon and Hope had first come up, nearly two years ago now, Sasha had done some research into the company and found that the Nottingham depot mentioned in the statement had long ago been converted to luxury flats, but none of them had known there was also a depot in Newcastle. But the reference in the statement Elias had given him, to “help clarify his next move”, had given Jon a starting point. He still wasn’t sure how closely they were aligned with the Stranger, but there might be a clue in Newcastle. It was something, at least. So Jon had proposed to Martin that they make a day of it, and Martin had smiled and bought their train tickets.

“It should be just around here,” Martin murmured, looking back and forth as they came to an intersection. “Maybe six blocks that way.”

“Had you ever heard of them?” Jon asked, looking up at Martin for a moment and nearly stumbling over his feet before righting himself. It was only natural for him to slide his arm around Martin’s waist; it made it less awkward to walk tucked inside his jacket as he was. “Breekon and Hope, I mean. Before, before they turned up in the statements.”

Martin hummed in negation. “Them turning up to deliver the table was the first time I ever actually met anyone aligned with the Stranger.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I’m pretty well steeped in the Eye, Jon. Have been for a long time.” A sad note crept into Martin’s voice. “I was eight when I found my first Leitner, and, well, there was no going back for me after that. By the time I was old enough that…things started poking around me, I was at a point where the Stranger avoided me as much as possible. Didn’t even see my first Stranger-aligned Leitner until I was…thirteen, maybe?”

“That’s still so young,” Jon said, completely ignoring the fact that he, too, had been eight when he found his first Leitner, or when it had found him. He paused, then added, “Did…did you burn it?”

“No,” Martin said, a bit regretfully. “Not then. We didn’t start burning them until…God, almost ten years ago now? Mm, closer to nine. We burnt our first one just before Aunt Mary did her ritual.”

Jon shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold. “Were those two facts connected?” he asked, mostly joking but not entirely.

Martin surprised him by answering absently, “Probably. Gerry was looking at ways to get away from her entirely, and maybe get me away from the Institute too, and burning the books was our first step at freedom. I think she sensed that and did what she had to in order to keep him controlled…oh, look, there it is.”

It took Jon a second to realize that Martin was talking about the depot and not…anything else they’d been discussing. Sure enough, a few meters away from them was a shipping depot with a faded sign that still said BREEKON & HOPE clear enough. “Right. Let’s go.”

As they approached, it became clear that the building was deserted. It was still intact, but the windows were caked with years of dust and grime, and weeds poked up through cracks in the driveway. Sat in the driveway was a delivery van; Jon didn’t know car models, but it seemed like the sorts of vans he used to see trundling about when he was a child. There was what might have been a field out back, which would probably be quite beautiful in the spring but was currently brown and barren.

Still. The depot was here. And it might have a clue that could help with their next move.

Jon—reluctantly—slipped out of the depths of Martin’s jacket and tested the door. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. He stepped back for a moment and studied the door, the windows surrounding it, and the building itself. “It seems a shame to break one of these.”

��No need.” Martin reached into an inner pocket and produced what looked like a canvas pencil case, or possibly an oversize wallet. “Say hello to my little friends.”

Jon blinked. “What—what are those?”

For an answer, Martin unzipped the case and opened it, displaying a number of odd metal bits that at first glance looked like the tools Jon was accustomed to seeing on the tray at the dentist’s office. He got down on one knee, the case propped on his outstretched leg, and peered at the lock. After a moment, he shook his head. “No good. This one’s a lever lock, I don’t have the right tools for that. Come on, let’s see if there’s another door round the back.”

“You can pick locks?” Jon asked, which was a ridiculously stupid question to be asking.

Martin got to his feet and gave him a crooked smirk. “Taught myself when I was fifteen or so.”

“Do I want to know why?”

“Probably not.” Martin started around the side of the building.

Jon hurried to catch up to him. “Martin.”

“You’ve been to the bookstore, Jon. How many ways in or out are there?” Martin studied the building as he spoke. “I figured I could jimmy open a window and sneak in to see Gerry without going through the store while Aunt Mary was in there, or without having to ring the bell. I did, too. And I’ve picked my fair share of locks trying to get at Leitners or get us out of jams…hmm, this looks promising.”

The window Martin had stopped at looked like every other window to Jon, but he was hardly an expert in the lock picking side of breaking and entering. “If you say so. What do you need me to do?”

“Keep watch. This shouldn’t take long.”

“Unless it’s alarmed.”

“Judging by the tires on that delivery van? Not bloody likely.” Martin studied the latch in the window, then opened his case again and selected two bits of metal. “The company went into liquidation, remember? Any other buildings got sold, which is why the one up in Nottingham got converted to luxury flats, but for some reason, this one escaped new ownership. Maybe no one wanted the property. But something like an alarm system would need to pay a monthly premium, and once that stopped getting paid, the company would shut it off pretty damn quick. Not to mention the fact that there’s probably no electricity coming in anymore…ha.”

While he had been talking, Martin had been manipulating the tools into the lock of the window’s latch, with some difficulty with his off hand, which was still bandaged and recovering from the burn inflicted by Jude Perry. Now he twisted it to one side, then replaced the tools before shoving the window upward. It protested, as windows unopened for several years were wont to do, but after a few moments it was open enough to allow them both access. Martin gave Jon an exaggerated bow. “After you.”

“Why, thank you, kind sir,” Jon drawled. He hoisted himself onto the sill, then swung his legs over to the inside and dropped to the floor.

Martin followed a moment later, with a bit more difficulty, then slid the window shut and relocked it. In response to Jon’s look, he shrugged. “I don’t really want someone following us in here if we can help it. We can go out the front door—we should be able to unlock it from the inside.”

“Good point,” Jon admitted. He let Martin pull him to his feet—then froze. “What’s that?”

Martin turned to follow his gaze. “It looks like a shoe. And judging from the angle, I’m guessing it’s not an empty one.”

“Someone sleeping? A homeless person?” Jon asked, without much hope.

“Since when has our luck ever been that good?” Martin made his way over to the desk and looked behind it. “Yep. Dead body. Or, well, what’s left of one.”

Jon shivered and started to come closer. “I…I assume it’s been here longer than Gertrude.”

Martin held up a hand to stop Jon from advancing. “Don’t. It’s not pretty…yeah, it’s been here at least a decade, maybe longer. There’s not much left of it. Big guy, older, I think. What’s left of a business suit. Looks like he’s been…chewed a bit. There’s, um, there’s what’s left of a box here, too. I think whatever killed him came out of it.”

Despite Martin’s words, Jon came over anyway. The body was exactly as Martin had described, but what interested Jon was the box. He hesitated, then bent down and picked it up. A standard cardboard box, rather ill-fitting and somewhat desiccated. The label on top had been heavily redacted; the only words visible were in a viciously precise handwriting: Return to Sender.

“What do you think this is? Or was?” he asked Martin.

Martin stared at the box, his eyes going slightly unfocused. There was a faint, a very faint, crackle of static that died almost instantly. “Whatever it was, it came from the Stranger.”

“I was afraid of that.” Jon sighed and gingerly set the box on the edge of the desk.

They spent a few minutes exploring the office. There wasn’t much of interest—certainly no book of plans for the Unknowing, or instructions on how to stop them—but one of the log books caught Jon’s attention. It looked a bit newer than the others, and when he pulled it off and flipped to the back, a frown crossed his face.

“Martin—look.” He showed Martin the book, finger pointing to the last entry.

“March 2013,” Martin murmured, a frown creasing his forehead. “That doesn’t make any sense, the company went into liquidation in 2009.” His frown deepened as he skimmed the entries on the spread before him. “At least half of these involve the Trophy Room. Big surprise.”

Jon shuddered at the mention of the taxidermy shop. “You think it—it has something to do with the Stranger.”

“I don’t think, Jon. I know. Daniel Rawlings was one of the Anglerfish’s victims. I knew Scaplethorpe’s statement was a Stranger one before we’d even started digging into it. It’s why I was so adamant that Tim not be the one to look into it.” Martin took the log book and began turning pages back slowly. “And you said Nikola Orsinov wanted you to find the gorilla skin—look, that’s the last thing that was actually delivered to the Trophy Room by Breekon and Hope: Gorilla skin (ancient). That place is bound up in the Stranger as tightly as the Institute is bound up in the Beholding.”

“Great,” Jon muttered. “Next question, then. Why was someone still logging deliveries four years after the company’s assets—save, apparently, this building and a single delivery van—were sold off?”

Martin turned back a few more pages. “It was Breekon and Hope.”

“I mean…yes? That is the name of the company…”

“No, the delivery drivers. I’m pretty sure they took their names from the company, not the other way around. And they definitely did…huh. Most of these entries?” Martin kept going, then stopped and pointed. “There, look. See those two entries?”

Jon looked where Martin indicated. One entry showed a delivery of two dozen bowls (clay) to a location in Glasgow. The other showed a deliver of one coffin (wooden, locked) to an address in Bournemouth. It had to be the delivery Joshua Gillespe had taken, so obviously had been their Breekon and Hope, but he honestly didn’t understand why Martin was pointing it out. “I see them,” he said.

Martin gave him that crooked smile again. “The handwriting’s off. Not much, not enough to be obvious. Just enough that whoever wrote the rest of these entries would think they maybe wrote them and just don’t remember it. Honestly, I think I can mostly see it just because it has the hint of the Stranger clinging to the edges.”

“Ah.” Jon peered at the handwriting a little more closely. Now that Martin had pointed it out, he could spot a couple of tiny, tiny imperfections, small inconsistencies that could easily be explained by the writer being tired or rushed or upset. “That seems more Spiral than Stranger to me.”

“Like I said, the damn things overlap.” Martin handed the log back to Jon. “Do you want to take it with you?”

Jon considered for a moment, then shook his head. “I don’t think there’s anything useful in it. Unless you think where they made deliveries is helpful.”

“Might tell us where the Unknowing is. If they’ve been making a lot of…strange deliveries to the same place.”

“Good point.” Jon tucked the log under his arm. “Right. Let’s see what else is here.”

There wasn’t much. Some dry-rotted boxes, rolls of tape that had fused solid or lost all adhesive, shipping labels, a roll of postage stamps commemorating the Ruby Jubilee, and something Jon at first couldn’t identify but that Martin said was a postage scale. Not a lot to show for however long the place had been in business.

In the front of the building, where the door Martin hadn’t been able to pick was, they found a pile of mail two feet high that would have impeded their attempts to open it anyway. Lying on top, as though it had just been shoved through the mail slot, was a crisp brown envelope far newer than any other in the pile. The name typed, not printed, across the front was easy enough to read from where they stood: ARCHIVIST.

“Who…?” Jon began. He reached for the envelope, then hesitated. It could be a trap. His curiosity was burning, but…Martin was there. If he opened it and brought something horrific down on their heads…

Martin’s hand rested lightly on his shoulder, not restraining him, just letting him know he was there, and Jon leaned back into him. He heard that faint burst of static again, and then Martin sighed, sounding more exasperated than anything. “Elias.”

“You’re sure?” Jon asked, twisting his head to look up at Martin.

“Pretty sure. It’s got traces of the Eye on it, not much, but enough to tell me it’s from ‘our lot’, as Jude Perry put it.”

Jon stared at the envelope. “Do you think he followed us?”

Martin sighed. “No, but you did have me expense our tickets back to the Institute, so it’s not like he didn’t know we’d be up here.”

“Oh. Right.” Jon winced. “What’s in it?”

“Only one way to find out.” Martin stepped around Jon and picked up the envelope. He raised an eyebrow. “May I?”

“Please.”

Martin worked a finger under the flap of the envelope and pried it open. Two sheets of paper fell out, on official Institute stationery, and Jon instantly recognized them. “A statement. He’s sent us a statement.”

“Yep.” Martin skimmed it quickly, then sighed and sat on the counter next to the door. To Jon’s mild surprise, he reached into his pocket again and pulled out a tape recorder, which he clicked on without even looking at it. “Martin Blackwood, Archival Assistant at the Magnus Institute, recording statement number 9961505, statement of Alfred Breekon, given fifteenth May 1996. Statement begins.”

Jon leaned against a shelf and listened to the rise and fall of Martin’s voice as he dictated the statement into the recorder. The statement confirmed several things—that Breekon and Hope were not the ersatz delivery men’s real names, he supposed, and that they were affiliated with the Stranger—but it didn’t seem to have all that much useful information in it, all things considered. If that was all they were getting out of it…well, it had at least been a pleasant excuse for a day out.

“Statement ends.” Martin lowered the statement but not the recorder. His eyes had taken on that vacant look again, but for all that they seemed…bright. Intense. “We found Mr. Breekon. The original one. It’s funny, for all he talks of worrying that what’s in the box will get him, all the bite marks seemed to be coming from the inside going out.”

Jon hadn’t made that connection, actually. He was about to say so when Martin continued. “I have to say I’m not thrilled about the parallels here. Sleeping in a cot in your office, afraid to go home in case something malevolent and dangerous follows you there, constantly threatened in your workplace without actually being harmed…seems the Corruption took a tip or two from the Stranger. There’s something there, but I can’t put my finger on it. Anyway, this statement does confirm Breekon and Hope didn’t own the company, not really, and that they’re connected to the Stranger. From the vague descriptions the original Mr. Breekon gave of some of the deliveries they took, and the statements we’ve had in the past—not to mention their delivery to the Institute—we know that Breekon and Hope will deliver for any of the Fears, not just the Stranger, but their connection to this person ‘dressed as a circus ringmaster’ ties them pretty thoroughly to the Stranger, as does the description of ‘hands where the skin feels wrong’ and that their so-called friends have faces that are hard to recall afterwards. Wherever Mr. Breekon is now, I hope he can take some comfort in knowing that he wasn’t targeted for a reason, or chosen because of anything he did; it was just his own rotten luck. The other useful thing we found here is one of the old log books, which lists deliveries for four years after the company technically ceased to exist. We’ll need to go over it in more detail, but…not here. This place is done with its story. We’ve found all that was left to find, and now it’s just…empty.”

Click! The recorder shut itself off, despite Martin’s finger not being near the button. He flinched and blinked hard, shaking his head slightly. “Um, sorry, that—that just…happened.”

Jon straightened up. He felt slightly off-balance, and slightly achy, like he’d just had a bad bout of the ‘flu, but for the most part, he was concentrating on getting them out of there. He nudged the heap of mail to one side with his foot, then threw back the bolt on the door before taking Martin’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

They didn’t speak on the walk back to the train station. Jon bought their tickets, and they managed to just catch the train before it pulled out of the station. Martin was the one to break the silence, right after they passed out of Newcastle. “I really am sorry, Jon. I didn’t mean to just…do the follow-up like that.”

“It’s…it’s fine.” It wasn’t, but not because of anything Martin had done per se; Jon just didn’t like that the Eye had seemingly given him all that information. He always worried for Martin when that happened. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Martin assured him. “That sort of thing’s honestly been happening for a while now.”

“You just…having information?”

“I was more referring to being able to do the summing up at the end of a statement without having to really think about it, but yeah, that too. But that’s been going on even longer.”

Jon sighed, a bit unhappily. That Martin was right didn’t make it any better. “I didn’t think about the parallels while you were reading, but now that you’ve pointed them out, I don’t like them either.”

Martin laughed. “Speaking of things about this situation I don’t like, it’s a weird coincidence, but this statement was given almost exactly halfway between when I met Gerry and when I met Neens.”

“Really?” Jon was intrigued. “I’ve been under the impression you and Melanie knew one another for ages before you met Gerry.”

“Nope, I met Gerry first. Mum had got wind of the Fourteen from somewhere and had a notion that it might help her get better, so she made an appointment at Pinhole Books and moved us to London after my dad left—I told you about that. My school hosted a support group for single parents, and Mum joined up. Roger started coming about six weeks later and that’s how we met Melanie.” Martin handed the envelope with the statement to Jon. “Here. Keep that with the log book. It’s all going in the same file, right?”

“Right. I suppose I’ll have to make a new one.” Jon carefully slid the envelope into the back of the book. “Elias probably destroyed the original one.” He looked up at Martin. “Can I ask you a question? K-kind of a personal one.”

“You can ask me anything, Jon. You know that.”

“If you and Melanie are siblings—even step-siblings—why do you keep calling her father ‘Roger’? A-and she calls your mother ‘Lily’, is that—why is that?”

“I mean…those are their names?”

“Right, but—you didn’t, um, you didn’t call him ‘Dad’? O-or Melanie call your mother ‘Mum’ or anything like that?”

“Oh.” Martin winced. “We used to, when we were younger, but we stopped when we got older.”

Jon studied Martin’s face. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

Martin bit his lip, just for a second. “Well…I mean, mostly it was because Roger had dementia. He usually remembered he cared about me, sort of, but he didn’t always remember me, and he got distressed and confused every time I called him ‘Dad’. So I stopped, so I wouldn’t upset him further. Then Melanie decided if I couldn’t call her dad ‘Dad,’ she’d stop calling my mum ‘Mum’. The habit just stuck.”

“That makes sense, I suppose. I just…wondered if it was something about loyalty to your birth parents.”

“No, I—I don’t really remember him well, but what I do remember, did back then, is that I called my birth father ‘Papa,’ not Dad. And Melanie called her mother ‘Mama.’ So using ‘Dad’ and ‘Mum’ wasn’t disloyal to their memories, I guess? It made sense to us.”

“I understand.” Jon had never had step-parents himself, but he imagined he’d have wanted to call them something to distinguish them from his birth parents if he had. “I wish I’d had the opportunity to meet Roger King. He seems…from what you and Melanie have said, he seems like a good man.”

“He was. He was always kind to me.” Martin paused, then added, “That’s what the K is for.”

“King?”

“Yes. I—I didn’t want to change my name. I like Blackwood, it…it fits me, I think. Roger understood, and even when he legally adopted me, he somehow convinced Mum to leave my last name as it was. Got some funny questions when I handed in my birth certificate at college, but it was easy enough to explain.”

“So instead your name is Martin King Blackwood.”

Martin laughed. “You want the truth, Jon? No. Legally, my name is just Martin Blackwood. The K is just…I just added it as an initial for my poetry and the like. I liked the sound of it, and like I said, it was a tribute to Roger. Plus it means Melanie and I have the same initials, just mixed up—M.K.B. and M.B.K. We thought it was funny.”

Jon laughed, too. “Dare I ask what the B stands for?”

“Beatrice.”

“Of course. After her great-aunt, no doubt.”

“That’s the one.” Martin studied Jon. “I never asked—do you have a middle name?”

“Gilbert,” Jon admitted. “It was my grandfather’s name, apparently, but I’m damned if I can tell you which one.”

“Jonathan Gilbert Sims,” Martin repeated. “It suits you.”

“Thanks.”

They didn’t speak much on the rest of the three hours it took to get back to London, but it wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward. Instead, Jon found himself resting his head against Martin’s shoulder. Martin wrapped an arm around him and began absently combing his fingers through his hair, humming softly. After a while, he began to sing, and Jon closed his eyes and let himself be soothed under the spell of the music. The next thing he knew, Martin was shaking him gently. “Jon. C’mon, wake up, we’re pulling into King’s Cross.”

“I wasn’t asleep,” Jon lied, sitting up straighter and blinking the sleep out of his eyes. Martin laughed at him with the utmost kindness and offered him a hand to stand up.

The South Kensington Underground stop was a bit farther from the Institute than Sloane Square, but both of them agreed they were rather tired of being on a train, and anyway it was a nice enough evening—nicer than in Newcastle, at any rate. It seemed the most natural thing in the world for Jon to take Martin’s hand as they walked.

“I’m sorry not to take your right hand,” he said presently. “But I—I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t.” Martin squeezed Jon’s hand gently. “I’m doing much better than I was. But this is fine, too. Anyway, I don’t expect we’re going to need to mark chalk arrows on the buildings as we walk.”

Jon laughed. “True. Still…”

“Still,” Martin agreed. “There will be time to hold hands the other way round later.”

“I like the sound of that.” Jon smiled up at Martin. Martin smiled back.

They were just turning onto the street where the Institute stood when Martin suddenly tensed. His hand tightened briefly around Jon’s, then eased back. In a low voice, he said, “Jon. Run. Get to the Archives.”

“What?” Jon blinked up at Martin in surprise.

“Run!” Martin gave Jon a light shove in the direction of the Institute just as a delivery van came around the corner towards them. Jon noticed its age—at least thirty years old, possibly more—then noticed the two hulking shadowy figures in the front seats, then registered that the paint scheme matched that of the van that had been parked in front of the Newcastle depot.

He didn’t wait to be warned a third time. He ran.

“Go, go, go!” Martin shouted from behind him, and Jon ran faster than he had in years, even faster than he’d run in the scrap yard after being stabbed. There was no doubt in his mind, the van that was almost certainly trying to find a way to reverse or turn around belonged to Breekon and Hope, here to collect him for Nikola Orsinov, and he did not want them to get their hands on him.

The Slaughter ghost would only have killed him. This, he was sure, would be worse.

He half-sprinted, half-stumbled across the courtyard and threw his entire body weight, slight as it was, at the door. It opened easily, thank God, and he burst through so fast he lost his balance and tumbled headlong down the short flight of stairs. Log book and statement went flying. The floor in that part of the Archives was stone, not wood, and it tore at his hands and knees, but he almost welcomed the pain. Pain meant he wasn’t dead.

“Jon!” The voice made Jon flinch before recognition filtered through. Tim. “Are you okay?”

Jon shook his head. No. No, he wasn’t remotely okay. He still shook head to toe with adrenaline, his chest ached with exertion, and fuck that had been a close call.

A pair of scuffed brown Doc Martens appeared under his nose; Jon looked up and accepted Melanie’s outstretched hand, letting her pull him to his feet. She took his other hand and turned them both over, studying the scraped palms with a critical eye. “You’ll live. What was chasing you? What—” She suddenly sucked in a sharp breath, and her hands tightened around his. “Where’s Martin?”

Jon’s veins flooded with ice water. He whirled around to stare up at the door, but it had shut firmly behind him. Panicked, he almost cleared all three steps in a single bound and yanked the door open, dashing out into the courtyard, only dimly aware of Melanie on his heels. Tires squealed away into the distance, but by the time he reached the street itself, it was deserted, save a pair of fresh black skid marks, a stain on the sidewalk, and something small and broken lying in the gutter.

He ran to the curb anyway, looking desperately, but there was nothing—no sign of anything. Melanie, who had come up alongside him, knelt down and picked up the object, then stared at it for a long minute. She looked up at Jon and didn’t say a word, just held it up for his inspection. It lit up as she raised it, displaying on its cracked, shattered surface a picture of the Archives crew holding one another up as they attempted to balance on ice skates before it flickered and died.

Martin’s phone.

Jon’s head swam as all the blood rushed out of his face in advance of reality crashing down on him. He knew he was about to faint, and he didn’t care. “Oh, God.”

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Hello there. You are one of my favourite blog on this website and I absolutely adore that you are 100% honest in every single ask.

So that's why I want your opinion.

I'm absolutely obsessed with the concept of "buck fell first, Eddie fell harder" and I was wondering what was your opinion about it. And if you agree, when do you think buck fell and how about Eddie. When he fell in love with buck.

Thank you and have a lovely day!

Nonnie Nonnie Nonnie!!!!!

That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me! I'm just over here doing my thing and it still baffles me that people want to read my ramblings! I do worry that my honesty can come of as a bit blunt but sugar coating things isn't my style 😬

my opinion on Buck fell first Eddie fell harder - I tend to agree - sometimes I flip flop a bit on it and its difficult to quantify why, but I always seem to come back to this opinion

The way I see it is that Buck saw Eddie and fell into Lust - only he doesn't know that thats what it is - he thinks that lust is actually envy and so he behaves like a brat. I also Buck has a competency kink but he doesn't really realise or know what to do with it and it manifests as jealousy. Then Eddie praises him and well we've known about Bucks need to be praised since the pilot episode. I think there may be a little bit of sexual attraction mixed in with it too, but I don't think thats necessarily new for Buck so he doesn't think anything of it (I maintain that Buck was attempting to flirt with the guy at the bar in Peru and stopped when the guy started checking out the girl!) and he has to work with the guy and after being fired for sex on the job - a job he really cares about, loves and that makes him feel like he's finally found his place in the world - he's not going to risk that for anything.

The thing is though Buck doesn't really know or understand his feelings and what his different feelings actually are. I've always read him as someone who's had temporary friendships and we know he hadn't had a long term relationship before Abby and h'e never had a stable loving family/ home life beyond what Maddie could give him and she was a child herself so even that, by its very nature was limited and naïve (and that is nothing against Maddie - she is incredible and did an amazing job - one that wasn't hers to do and one that essentially robbed her of her childhood). 

Basically what I'm trying to say is that Buck takes all these feelings he has and thinks that they must be what friendship is supposed to be - he has no prior experience to draw from - he's essentially been in transition his entire life and this is the longest he's stayed in one place, one job and with one set of people. Even his relationship with Abby is warped and has skewed his perspective on the differences between the types of love - romantic, sexual attraction, platonic/friendship and 'parental' because Abby existed in all of those categories. This means though that  Buck doesn't have a good template for any type of relationship at the point when he meets Eddie - they're all mixed up and confused and he is still clinging to the idea of Abby as romantic love and Eddie has Shannon so therefore anything he's feeling for Eddie is just platonic best bro's right?!! 

I don't think Buck starts to grasp that his and Eddies relationship is vastly different from a normal friendship and in fact is very much soulmate shaped until season 4 and even then I don't think he's actually comprehending that its real true deep abiding love - I think that he thinks they just have a deep friendship and Buck will never do anything to jeopardise that because for him the lawsuit and Eddie getting into fighting is still very much fresh in his memory. Then Ana comes along and Buck puts himself back out into the dating pool because and once again confuses sexual attraction with romantic attraction and builds this thing with Taylor that he’s finding is unsatisfying but Buck being the person he is -  he’s never had to do the leaving before and doesn’t want to hurt anyone the way he’s been hurt.

Buck wants a family - its what he's been searching for in all the wrong places and then stumbled into building one with his best friend and because Buck has no point of reference, he’s been incredibly slow on the uptake of what he’s built. I actually don’t think we’ve hit full Buck realisation yet and I don’t think we’ll get it until after he breaks up with Taylor - because he’s still clinging and so my feeling is that, in the lead up to the break up we’ll see Buck realising what it is he wants in a partner and relationship and that Taylor isn’t it, I don’t think it will begin to dawn on him that those things he wants are things he already has because thinking ‘I want someone like Eddie’ is no the same as thinking ‘I want Eddie.’ So I think it’s only when he clears out the emotional baggage that comes from him always being left and then having to do the leaving - that will be the moment that he truly realises that what he wanted in abstract form is what he already has, he just needs to take the next step in because its building on what he already helped build.

Then we have Eddie. Eddie who is so repressed that he’s been literally turning himself inside out trying to deny what he knows. When he first meets Buck, he’s still very much hung up on Shannon and having a wife and somehow trying to get back the thing that made him ‘fit’ into societies expectations - because he can’t be gay if he has a wife - right! Everything with Shannon is so complicated and he is confused and also still dealing with his army trauma (or rather he’s busy dealing with not dealing with his army related trauma) and because Buck is still hung up on Abby - it is very easy for Eddie to just add anything he’s feeling to the repression pile. But then Shannon dies and the Tsunami happens and Eddie is overwhelmed so that love spills out a little bit - ‘there’s no one I trust more with my son’  but its okay because its in relation to Chris so he can play it off as that, but he needs to make sure he gets a better grip on it all and thus we end up in fight club land - because he let a tiny bit of his love for Buck escape and that’s not okay because Shannon just died so he’s confused and then Buck decides a lawsuit is a good idea and Eddie can’t talk to him - this person he has come to trust and Eddie is not in control so we see the physical manifestation of the internal demons he’s fighting. 

Once Eddie has a better grip on all the guilt etc he’s feeling over Shannon, he’s in a better position to keep a handle on his feelings in general. Of course he doesn’t have total control on them - we still get the heart eyes etc. And of course there is the will of it all - Eddie can allow himself this one luxury because he can play it off as not about him - its about Christopher and also its something he can keep secret - its something he can do that he never has to tell another person - including the person he’s done it for and about. 

Eddie Changing his will is both Eddie battening down the hatches and also Eddie giving his love wings - only the love install confined to a cage - he thinks that by giving it a defined space in which to exist he won’t have to take it any further. I personally think Buck begins was a bit of a  uhh moment for Eddie - because he wanted to step in and come to Bucks aid - it was a moment when the truth could’ve come spilling out and Eddie repression cannot have that - so the very next episode - we get the Ana of it all - Eddie jumps into something that will allow him to keep repressing in a more publicly visual way - because he can’t be accused of being in love with his best friend by anyone (especially his family) if he has a girlfriend - so Ana becomes a new front for him to hide behind, and it works for a bit, but then he gets shot and Buck does exactly what Eddie would’ve wanted - he takes care of Chris but he also opens himself up - shows Eddie that Eddie needs to do something to reassure Buck of what he has, that he is loved, even if he can’t say it out loud. So he reveals the will - the biggest love confession he can give without it being a love confession and without risking very much.

There is a part of me that thinks that if Buck hadn’t started up with Taylor, then the thing with Ana would’ve probably ended much sooner than it did, because I think that Eddie might’ve actually been in a place to start talking about things a bit more openly as a result of the shooting, but then Taylor was there so Eddie shut up shop again and added the shooting to that small storage locker of trauma he has. Doing that though wasn’t a good idea - because he is now bursting at the seams and things have got to give so the panic attacks start - Eddie being Eddie - repressing everything probably thinks to himself - after Bucks advice - well if I get rid of this one thing that is taking up a lot of my energy - Ana and the pretending it requires - then I can get everything else under control. Only he can’t because Ana was the top of a slippery slope and Eddie was gathering speed. I’m mixing metaphors, but once those locker doors were opened to let out the Ana of it all, it gave room for everything else to surge forward - flooding out one after the other - until the thing at the back  that first trauma is able to escape - and that is more or less where we are now and Why Eddie has to go back to Texas. Of course Eddies love for Buck is not a trauma, it is the spark of hope that is currently giving him the ability to tentatively make his way through the trauma that is filling his world with dark - its a spark that is growing stronger and stronger and it is what he is coming to realise will give him the strength to deal with things and start over. He is accepting what he already knew -that he loves buck but now he is realising just how deep his love for Buck actually goes, and actually that that love is so strong that he’s no longer prepared to live the half life he’s been living. 

So yes Eddie fell harder but Buck will catch him up before too long - he just has some more of his own trauma to process first and that starts with him ending things with Taylor - because in some ways Taylor is Ana - the convenient front he’s hiding behind that is allowing Buck to not deal with his actual issues!

I have no idea how I ended up writing this mammoth essay!!! Hope you found it interesting Nonnie and that it answers the question in the most long winded way possible!!

[saltisnacks]

Chris is almost a perfect combination of Eddie and Buck mentally and emotionally. Buck's abandonment issues and hiding his real emotions, and Eddie's snark and struggle to give voice to anything concerning himself.

Let me give a scenario, plus a few asides, to demonstrate this and bring 5a to a close. I seriously doubt something like this will happen in the show. I just hope they handle it with care and correctly. If someone wants to use this in a work, please let me know.

For starters, at some point during the time skip, Carla gave Eddie a firm kick in the butt to get Chris into therapy.

One thing they could do, and could extend over several episodes, is have Eddie and Chris involved in an accident where Chris comes out of it with bumps and bruises, but Eddie... not so well.

And Chris sees the firefighters (maybe Mehta), who recognizes Eddie, working relentlessly to get Eddie and him free. It would help Chris see that accidents happen at any time anywhere.

Adding a cut to save dashes because this is long.

Comparison scene between safe correct usage of car seats with another not so lucky child (who still survives!) in another accident. Show an ending screen listing websites for where to find certified car seat technicians "in your area" and a notice that not all fire stations can check child seats anymore which is still the assumption by many.

Again, Buck comes to stay with him where he assumes Chris and Carla knew about the will. He drops that bomb on all three of them. TayKay doesn't understand why he would agree to this when Eddie has family that could take in Chris. Chris sasses, "Buck is family."

So there's another "wrench." The idea of suddenly being responsible for another man's child if she stays with Buck. She does eventually want kids, but by her timing and decision - not a preteen with CP out of tragedy.

I really want someone to work through his "Everyone leaves." This isn't healthy and shame on them not having Buck tell Eddie to get Chris back into therapy asap. That should have rang alarm bells with his own abandonment issues. While the "everyone" isn't true, life progresses. People move. People drift apart for a lot of reasons. People die. That's life. The similarity between Buck and Chris here...

"Can I ask what you talked about in therapy today? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Or, you could wait for your dad to wake up from his nap."

"Everyone leaves."

"You know, I used to think the same thing. I know what getting left behind is like. I'd never willingly do that to you. Not by choice."

"Really? People left you?"

"Well, you see..." Audio fades out first then fade to black while Buck is still talking to Chris.

Eddie now has no income coming due to the accident because of realistic post-concussion symptoms (Let's put Ryan's acting skills to a different test) - headache, nausea, vomiting, etc. The 118 rotates checking in on Eddie. Chris overhears Bobby giving Eddie donated money (which he tries to refuse) to help keep them afloat because they're (still) a part of their found family.

"I miss you guys. I miss..."

"I know, Eddie."

Chris after hearing his dad sound so sad finally talks about the dangers of Eddie working as a firefighter and how unhappy Eddie has been after leaving. "Chris, your mom didn't want to be hit by a car. She was just crossing the street. Your dad didn't want to be shot. He was helping someone who was in a bad situation. Just like you didn't ask to be swept up in the tsunami. You were lucky, Chris. Not many were as strong as you to survive a natural disaster. Bad things happen sometimes. Like the accident. But good things do, too. Your dad has helped save a lot of lives."

"I know."

"Do you blame your dad's truck for the accident?"

"No. That's silly. The other guy hit us." A pause. "Oh. I think I get it now. It wasn't dad's fault he got shot."

"It could have been any of the firefighters on scene that day. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guy that shot your dad is the one who was wrong."

The therapist asks if he/she can bring in Eddie and they finally talk. "Eddie, you can't lie. Not now. Not here. Not to Chris. Are you happy not being a firefighter? Because if you're not happy, Chris isn't going to be happy. If you give up what you love, you may end up resenting your own son in the future." Or, some version of this. I'm not a therapist and I hope 9-1-1 talks to some real therapists on how to handle this.

The accident wasn't Eddie's fault. Between the other driver's insurance and his own, he ends up with a fully paid for nice used truck in replacement. Buck, who is on Eddie's insurance, took care of everything after a research spiral that nailed both companies to the wall to get it done. He drops off the truck with a "Tadah!" as he tossed the keys to Eddie.

"I picked up a booster seat, so as soon as you're cleared to drive, you're both good to go."

Buck and Eddie get in an "argument" again about him not being there for Eddie and Chris. "No! You don't get to take the blame for this. It's my fault! I refused to talk to anyone. About any of this. Not to Chris. Not to you. Not to Bobby or Hen. No one!"

"Eddie, I could have pushed harder."

"And I would have shoved right back. Probably so hard it would have made things even worse. Don't think I don't remember the grocery store. I said some stupid hurtful things because I was holding it all in. Again. I knew how to strike where it hurts just like I did while fighting."

"Eddie."

"No, you tried over and over, but I was... stupidly listening to my father in my head. Suck it up, Eddie. Men don't cry. Push through. Therapy is for the weak. No wonder they call it toxic masculinity."

”I never learn from my past mistakes. I let it all bottle up again. I showed my kid it was okay to do the same, and he did until it finally exploded! I've hurt him, Ana, you because I hid what I was feeling. I used my kid to hide!"

"I ended up hurting him because I couldn't open my mouth and let everything out. I failed him again as a father. I don't want him to grow up like I did. I have to try to make this right. Learn to open up when I need to. I didn't talk after we were taken hostage. I just went home and cuddled my kid with a "He's fine." and then shoved that down, too. I didn't tell anyone I almost fell out of that helicopter at the hospital!"

"What?! Eddie?!"

"One more item on the trauma pile. Nothing good has ever come out of me being in one."

And unlike dropping the bomb about leaving the 118 on everyone... "Chris and I talked during his last session. I'm... going to start going to a therapist he/she recommended. I need to stop fighting the idea that therapy is showing weakness. That thinking I have to struggle on my own is bad coping. Ha! She was right. It does sound like repression."

"Who? Ana?"

"No, the cardiologist."

"Oh."

"Is Chris weak? No. But, Chris's therapist gave me a warning. I could start to resent this at Chris, and I don't want that. It was my loaded issues, but he was the pulled trigger for my rash decision. When Chris and I finally... start to feel stronger, I'd like to come back. To the 118, I mean."

"Really?"

"If Bobby lets me and there's a spot available."

Something here about Buck being the "backup plan." If they still insist on pushing B&T, have Eddie restate that Buck is the right choice, and that he's family. If B&T are kaput, maybe Buddie begins here when Eddie finally pushs through his barrier to tell Buck how he feels.

"Eddie, this isn't a no. It's just a pause. Until you feel like yourself again."

"It... might take a while."

"That's okay. I can wait."

"I need to do this. For Chris, but mostly for myself."

"Every step of the way, whatever you need, I've got your back and Chris's."

"And we've got yours."

Season 6 starts off with Eddie still separate from the 118, but healing and happier. Video only showing the back of Eddie's head talking with his therapist, and clips of Eddie talking between him and Chris with and without Buck present. Ramped up covert flirting and pushing buttons.

Until the mid season finale where Eddie surprises everyone, except Bobby, when he pops over the loft in full uniform with a "Surprise!" Or, maybe Bobby says additional help is coming during a fire and Eddie pulls up in a station vehicle in his turnout gear.

The back half is them fighting to stay together because two firefighters in the same house aren't supposed to date. Normally they're either put on opposing shifts or one is transferred.

They could pull a Flashpoint where they don't realize they're being observed, and show their ability to walk away with a patient while the other is also in trouble. Better for Buck to walk away from Eddie because he would be the biggest one they'd worry about honestly after they saw him digging in the mud after the well collapse.

"This can't become the norm. There are regulations for a reason. I'll have people all over the city trying to date. One mess up and I want them separated, Nash. Period. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

[that-blue-vault-dweller]

Companions react to sole somehow getting the internet to work? She only has a few computers up and its not as fast as they used to be, but hey the data is still there! Shes got games, BookFace, even TubeTube!

This was such a cute one!!! Awesome request, anon! 🥰💙💛

Cait - Does not really understand the big deal about the entire thing. She starts trying to use the internet, and she very quickly grows aggravated with how slow it moves and she does not really enjoy using it. Therefore, she is extremely dismissive when everyone else is talking about how wonderful it is.

Piper - Is beside herself with enthusiasm, and she eagerly starts looking into politics of the old days. In her search, she soon finds herself of Tok-Tik, and she finds quite a bit of information about truths about the American government. She avidly looks at all of the videos, but she makes sure not to let it totally run her life. She still dutifully takes care of her sister and makes sure that she is up to date on Commonwealth events. She just looks on Tok-Tik in the evenings when she has time to look.

Curie - Is absolutely thrilled and excitedly spends quite a bit of time on the Internet in an attempt to absorb as much information as possible. Her personal favorite is TubeTube. All of the informational videos on there totally fascinate her, and she studies them for quite some time. She binge-watches so much medical videos that F!Sole ends up having to remind her about her work in the Commonwealth. She then starts to balance her time on the internet and her time in the real world, and she is soon quite well-versed in a variety of topics and can offer even more medical assistance to F!Sole and the rest of the group.

MacCready - Is in love as soon as he starts to use it. He plays tons of games on it, but his favorite thing of all to do is to watch TubeTube episodes of popular superhero cartoons. He could watch that for hours, and he becomes very knowledgeable about different heroes and spends a long time sharing the lore and whatnot with F!Sole.

Deacon - Is an absolute fiend as soon as he starts to use it. He is on BookFace all the time looking at the drama of days gone by. He also goes and interacts with some foreign accounts that are still up and running in areas that were not bombed. He loves to create drama and troll any pages that he finds to be inappropriate or less than moral.

Codsworth - Is very pleased that a piece of Pre-War life has been brought to this new world. He does not use it himself, but he does occasionally watch F!Sole play games on the computer. He is particularly fond of one game where she can play as a wide variety of different cartoon and video game characters while also having them do all sorts of insane dances. It was a kids' game, but he still rather likes it.

Hancock - Loves it for a variety of reasons. He loves all of the music that he can get on holotapes and he loves the games of online poker. Granted, there was no one to play with except the computer AI, but he loves it nevertheless. It's like regular poker but without the possibility of losing all of his caps.

Danse - Is fascinated and very excited about it. He eagerly is looking on TubeTube for tutorials about fixing up power armor and adding special mods to it. He is also looking at tons of other mechanic videos that give tutorials on a variety of things such as putting together cars and even how to craft awesome mods for guns. He also likes looking at the tribute videos to veterans and war heroes. He would never admit it, but they bring a bit of tears to his eyes.

Preston - Thinks it is amazing and he asks F!Sole to download patriotic music onto holotapes so Radio Freedom can blast the inspirational music throughout the Commonwealth. That is the primary reason that he wants to use the internet, and he absolutely loves to hear all the old tunes celebrating America and patriotism.

Valentine - Thinks it is very interesting, and he looks on the internet for any unsolved cases from the past that he might could get access to. He enjoys pondering over them and wondering if there could be the slightest possibility that some of these bad guys could still be alive. After all, Eddie Winter was still kicking after all these years.

X6-88 - Seems to be completely unimpressed when looking at the surface. However, on the inside, he is really quite interested. When he thinks no one is around, he is looking on TubeTube and many other websites. However, when he discovers cat videos on TubeTube, he is completely in love and binge-watches tons of them every night when most people around are asleep.

Dogmeat - Does not like how this new convenience takes up so much of everyone's time. He wants more attention than what he's getting. However, he soon realizes that there is merit in being able to just lay his head in people's lap as they sit and look at the devices. He gets a lot of pets that way.

Strong - Does not understand the significance of it. It is not anything sitting right in front of them, so he finds it to be rather pointless. Why concentrate on something that is not even real? He is soon aggravated by the entire thing and wants to smash all the computers that have this internet on them.

[floralbuckleys]

Falling For You | Buddie

♡ Pairing: Buddie

♡ Genre: Fluff, First Kiss, Confession

♡ Word Count: 1k+

♡ Prompt Request: “I think I’m falling in love with you.” Buck x Eddie. P.S: Happy 300 followers!! 

♡ Warnings: Brief mention of the shooting/Eddie being injured

♡ Summary: Eddie overhears Buck’s confessions.

♡ Note: Thank you so much for the request, Emma (@lonely-writer​). I hope you like it. Not beta’d so excuse the mistakes that I am blind to

A muted yawn leaves Buck as he makes his way through the Diaz house in the early hours of the morning. He keeps his steps and movements quiet, as Christopher is sleeping soundly, and there’s still about an hour before Buck needs to wake him for school.

Eddie should be up soon, as he’s quite the early riser, but since Buck’s been staying over, he’s made sure to wake up before him, so he can cook breakfast and do some morning chores. Least the still recovering firefighter try to do them himself, despite Buck insisting he not.

Flipping on the kitchen light switch, he enters the cozy space and heads over to the instant coffee machine to click it on. 

It’s become part of his morning routine now, though Buck’s not the biggest java drinker in the world, Eddie had mentioned once that he finds the smell of coffee in the morning relaxing, and thus he makes sure Eddie gets that.

Once that is brewing, he heads over to the laundry room to switch the towels he’d stuck in the washer before bed into the dryer and take out Christopher’s clothes from it as well. He hadn’t realized how much more laundry you do with a kid in the house. Not that he minds as he finds the task relaxing and likes knowing he’s helping.

He grabs one of the baskets they keep in the closet, placing it atop the dryer as he begins taking Christopher’s clothes out, neatly folding and sorting each one into the basket. 

When it comes to his own clothing, he’s hardly ever this precise, more of the stick it in a drawer and pull it out and go type, but this is for Christopher, so he’s always careful to take his time.

One shirt he takes out of the dryer, causes a soft smile to spread across his face as he sees the dolphin splayed across it. He actually bought it for Christopher.

He’d gotten it awhile back when the three of them visited the aquarium together. They’d had a blast that day and on the way out Christopher had seen the shirt and instantly wanted it.

Eddie was going to buy it, but Buck insisted on it, just to see the smile on the shining boy's face.  Folding it gently, he places it gently and the back and continues with the rest.

As he works his thoughts drift back to his current predicament—though not willingly—because if given the choice, he’d ignore the troublesome feelings that have been festering inside him for weeks now. 

Or maybe much longer than that, though he’s not exactly sure when he fell for his best friend. Maybe someday he could sit down and figure it out, that is if ever got the courage to actually admit how he felt to Eddie. 

Not too likely, considering he can still barely admit it to himself.

It’s scary, acknowledging that you’ve been pining, longing for someone so close to you, especially when you’re around them every single day. Even worse when you’ve experienced the earth shattering fear of losing them. It causes an urgent gnawing at your heart, and an urge to confess those feelings, even if it could mean ruining the dear friendship you’ve grown.

Because you’ve finally had to face the reality that you might not always have the option.

He’s been unsure what to do with the weight of the emotions, knowing he didn’t want to talk to anyone about it, and instead choosing to actually research various ways to confess on his own. 

One website he’d come across last night before falling asleep claimed he should practice how he would like the conversation to go aloud. Something about it helping your confidence and making the actual talk go smoother.

He snorts at that.

As if him telling Eddie he was in love with him would go his way.

And yet, his cobalt eyes still flicker to the laundry room doorway, ears listening for sounds of any movement. As far as he could tell Eddie must still be sleeping, which meant there’s nobody around to hear him.

Biting his lip, he finishes folding the last of Christopher’s clothes and opens the washer to quickly move the towels over.

Once he’s all done he places both of his hands on the sleek metal dryer as the cycle begins and it starts rumbling on. 

Maybe, he could at least try.

His eyes close, and he inhales a sharp breath, and before he knows it his feelings are welling with him, and slipping past his lips as he imagines the way it would go. Him actually having the courage to tell Eddie his hidden truth.

“Eddie. Um, it’s Buck.”

Wait, why would I say that? I’d be standing in front of him.

Scratch that.

“Eddie, I have something I need to tell you.”

Eddie will of course give him that breathtaking smile, and his hazel eyes will look right through him as they always do.

Buck gulps as he imagines it, his shoulders tightening as he struggles with what to say next.

“Well, the truth is, I…” He trails off, biting down on his lower lip as he wills himself to just spit it out.

Eddie will be confused, and Buck will feel bad about hesitating so much. 

After all, why should he be so nervous in the first place? Even if Eddie doesn’t feel the same way--which Buck is sure he doesn’t--he wouldn’t be a jerk about it. He would let him off easy, be respectful about it. Buck trusted in that.

Exhaling softly, he let’s the words he’s never dared say, flow freely.

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Eddie. I have been for a long time, and I need you to know that, because…” Buck winces as the memory of Eddie, injured and bloodied laying on the ground flashes in his mind. “Because I would be a fool not to tell you that, and because I can’t stand the thought of losing you. Ever.”

Buck stands still for a moment, processing the feeling of finally voicing how he’s felt. It’s akin to stepping outside on a sunny day, and feeling the fresh air blowing against you.

But then, as quickly as that feeling comes, it’s gone, as Eddie-the real one--speaks up from behind him, “Evan.”

Buck’s eyes snap open as he whirls around in surprise, coming face to face with Eddie, whose eyebrows are knitted together, his lips in a tight line.

“Fuck. D-Did you hear me?” He blurts out, dread lacing every word as he internally panics.

A million questions cross Buck’s mind. How could he be so stupid? How could he forget to make sure nobody was coming? Eddie must have heard everything.

He’s not sure what Eddie see’s on his face, but before he knows it, the hazel eyed man steps closer to him and murmurs, “I did, but calm down, it’s okay.” He assures him.

“It’s okay? Okay? Do you even realize what you just heard? I-I you weren’t supposed too-”

Buck’s rambling is cut off by Eddie closing the distance between him as he brings his free, uninjured hand up and pulls Buck to him. 

It takes Buck a moment to process that they’re kissing, really and truly kissing. Eddie’s lips against his, sweet and chaste.

When he pulls away, Buck is still stunned, the amount of questions in his mind now multiplied, but Eddie speaks before he can.

“I didn’t expect to tell you this way, overhearing you say it to my laundry machines, but I don’t mind it. The truth is that… I’ve fallen in love with you too.”

The air seems to have left Buck’s lungs as he and Eddie lock gazes with Eddie, both their eyes smoldering with heavy emotion. They’re both leaning in for another kiss within the next second, and Buck doesn’t want it to end.

However, life has other ideas as Christopher’s gentle voice calls through the house, “Dad! Buck! Where are you?”

They pull away from each other immediately, both their faces burning, and smiling from ear to ear.

“We should talk about this after we take Chris to school, okay?” Eddie starts, the first one to break the silence.

Buck nods, liking the sound of that. “Yeah, that sounds good. You go check on him, I’ll get your coffee and start on breakfast.”

“What would I do without you?” Eddie laughs as he turns and walks off to get Christopher.

Buck freezes however, because despite hearing Eddie say that exact line several times, it now has a new meaning that leaves him breathless.

God, has he fallen for Eddie Diaz.

[kingbuckley]

Alright you guys this turned into an absolute monster of a fic rec. It’s organised by word count in descending order, and ALL FICS HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!! i don’t read fics that don’t end happy so even if a fic seems scary you can rest assured it ends fine if it’s here.

Special shoutout to @thisissirius (same ao3 handle) and @getbvcked (attolians (annber) on ao3) i have all their fics bookmarked so i didn’t include them individually in this list but you should check them out because every fic they put out is amazing. 

the rest is under the cut:

Breaking and Entering by AngelCuttingOnions (g/1k): Have you ever been terrified to lose something that isn’t even yours? Digging helplessly at the mud with your bare hands, so determined not to let go, not to give up. Your heart going so fast you think it might just beat out of your chest.

in any place you'll allow by barelyprolific (m/1k): Cleaning duty has never looked as good as Evan Buckley waxing floors.Or, Eddie Diaz finally makes his move.

Care and Keeping by BlackRose (m/1k): Eddie's alive, but he almost wasn't. Buck's determined to keep him safe now more than ever. Eddie, wants Buck to feel seen.

Cool for the Summer by Onlymystory (e/1k): Buck comes over to apologize to Eddie. It's a very good apology.

fireworks have nothing on you by inkandella (nr/1k): Buck’s tears had dried not too long ago, but his hands still shook as he wrung them. Bobby had just left to deal with, well, everything, but Buck remained by the truck, refusing to drag his eyes from Eddie for even a second. Eventually it was just Hen and Chim that remained, and Buck could finally see Eddie clearly. The man’s face was streaked with mud, dirt, and blood, his shoulders were bowed and eyes stared blankly off somewhere ahead of him. Buck bit his lips, but it didn’t really help him from asking again. “Is he okay?”Or; Buck finally does something about it.

Hotel Complaints and Grievances Raised by asexual-fandom-queen (m/2k): After a night out with the 118, Eddie wakes up with Buck naked in bed, and a barrage of feelings to face.

fight so dirty/love so sweet by homewrecker (m/2k): Buck and Eddie go for the title.

YOUR MOUTH IS HEAVEN by AgnesClementine (t/2k): A tongue piercing. Buck has a tongue piercing. Which is fine. Totally fine. Eddie is absolutely not going to lose sleep because of that information.

Zoom Into My Heart by Shaniamr (m/2k): Buck didn't know that zoom shared your private chats at the end of the meeting, but he's about to find out.

collisions in the dark by Marcia Elena (marciaelena) (e/2k): Eddie and Christopher spend the night at Buck's. Coda to 3x09.

What do you need? by RealOrFiction (e/2k): Buck has needs. Needs that haven't been met in a while.

Great Game by LovelyLittleGrim (e/2k): Buck’s watching him, waiting for some type of response. “Scared, Diaz?”“I don’t have any reason to be scared, Buckley.” He meets Buck’s eyes, lips quirked and murmurs, “I always come out on top.”

Buck Wild by Ithinkwehaveanemergency (m/2k): Eddie accidentally finds out that his best friend, coworker, and secret crush has done gay porn.

no greater joy by elisela (g/2k): When he wakes again, he finds Buck and Christopher out in the backyard, snuggled into the hammock that Buck had brought over months earlier, the day after Christopher had offhandedly mentioned that he’d been in one during a camping trip once and liked it. Buck was fooling no one when he said he’d happened to find it in storage, and Eddie had helped him set it up immediately, basking in the second-hand glow of Buck’s complete adoration of his son.

No Rest for the Wicked by Wassereis (e/2k): Eddie gets home early. What he finds wasn't what he expected.

people who love the same by templemarker (t/2k): Buck was just reheating a plate for Eddie when he heard a very familiar snort behind him."Okay, what now," he said expectantly."So," Hen drawled, "you have one plate on the counter, steaming, already had a couple of bites. And now you've got a second plate," she gestured at the microwave to the reheating lasagne, "and we all know who that plate's for."Buck looked at her, tilting his head. "I mean, I always make a plate for Eddie," he said, confused.

One Week by elisela (g/3k): Christopher's week revolves around Buck.

wherever I'm with you by anonymous (g/3k): In which Buck can't settle down in his own apartment until he realizes the true meaning of the word home.Or; Sleeping is easier when it's with Eddie.

To Be Whole by mansikka (t/3k): They say that when you and your soulmate are ready to meet, whatever they write on their skin will appear on yours, and vice versa. Which Buck thinks is bullshit. Right up until words start appearing on his arm.

Pull The Pin by islandgirl (g/3k): Everything they've been feeling and not saying is like a grenade between them and damn it all, Buck is ready to pull the pin, let the explosion happen and for everything to fall into place.

Long Overdue by mansikka (m/3k): Eddie realizes his feelings for Buck are more than platonic; what's he supposed to do now?

you could write this love in stone by chocolatebirdie (nr/4k): "Whatever happens, after tonight, I just want you to know that your friendship has meant everything to me. You’re my best friend, Eddie. You and Chris are – are like family to me. And I’m really grateful to have met you both.”“Why does this sound like you’re breaking up with me?” Eddie asks. The confusion-amusement ratio has started to skew towards the former, with an added dose of concern. Well maybe if he’d shut up and let Buck talk, Eddie wouldn’t be so puzzled.Did he have to use the phrase “break up,” though? Buck’s not sure he can stand the implication.

you can always be found by chocolatebirdie (nr/4k): Abby's back in LA, and she keeps trying to get in touch with Buck. The only problem? He's literally always with Eddie.

Until the Dancing Ends by suyari (g/4k): It’s been the strangest day of his life to date.Or the one where everyone's seen the footage of the rescue but Eddie.

when the hardest part is over by Anonymous (g/4k): “It’s okay,” Buck rasps out, tight against Eddie’s ear. “We got you back. We got you. You’re safe.”It sounds like he’s reassuring himself as much as Eddie – might even be saying it for Christopher’s sake even though the boy is blissfully unaware of what’s happened tonight. A mantra spoken to the night like a victory speech, a reminder that it could take nothing away from them.

Not Done by red_to_black (nr/4k): Buck volunteered to get into the ambulance with him, knowing the risks. He's pinching the guy's skin and saying, "Take it out," and Eddie, for the first time since leaving the military, feels it - a connection. A kindred spirit. A purpose that tethers him to reality. A person relying on him to get the job done.(or - a list of things Eddie Diaz couldn't give up on, including himself.)

Talk About It by DoneInLove (e/4k): You want to send me your dickpic?Just to see if it looks okay. Buck starts sending Eddie his dick pics before he sends them to other people.Eddie doesn't know why he decided this was a good idea.

Guessing Game by Arsenal (t/4k): Buck overhears Eddie telling his mother that he has feelings for someone and drives himself nuts trying to figure out who is possibly could be. aka yet another oblivious Buck fic

Happy Buck Day by Jecari (g/5k): After pushing the balloons tied to Christopher's crutch away, Eddie finds his best friend frowning, mouth agape. Buck looks adorable."It's not my birthday," Buck points out after shaking his head."We know," Christopher laughs.

Buck Is My Warrior by elisela (g/5k): “We’ll be filming a special edition of American Ninja Warrior,” Troy announces after the introduction to the current contestant ends, “focused on our brave first responders. Go to our website to find out more details and how to submit your videos.”Oh.“Buddy,” Eddie says, “I don’t really know if that’s my thing.”Christopher looks at him, then down at his feet and mumbles something.“Didn’t catch that, kiddo,” Eddie says, reaching out and pressing two fingers under Chris’ chin to tilt his face back up.“I said,” Christopher says, “I want to nominate Buck.”

Eddie Diaz and the Cat-astrophe at the 118 by SquaresAreNotCircles (g/5k): It’s Chimney who rescues her from the tree, but it’s Bobby’s arms that she curls up in on the drive over to the vet to get her checked out. Right from the start, it’s as if she knows who she needs to cozy up with to secure her spot at the station.“Come on, that’s crazy,” Buck says, but he does so while laughing not at Eddie, but at the grey tabby cat trying to get her claws on the fake mouse on a string that Buck bought with his own money, so Eddie doesn’t put too much stock in his opinion.Or: The firefam adopts a mascot and Eddie has a minor crisis about it.

Evan Buckley and a Series of Unintended Consequences by Shaniamr (e/6k): Buck has been hurt on the job and has lost the ability to use his hands while they heal. Eddie jumps at the opportunity to help Buck with anything he needs. Anything.

Love Language by red_to_black (nr/6k): The one in which there's too much pollen around, Eddie pines, and Buck is oblivious.Or - Eddie's love language is acts of service, and Buck doesn't totally get it.

The Other Woman by MomentsOfWeakness (t/6k): Buck has been unlucky in love lately and he can't figure out why. It takes a phone call from Eddie and an interrupted date for him to finally put the pieces together.

My Favorite Place Is Inside Your Hug by Lopithecus (e/7k): When Eddie gets stuck in a hole while trying to rescue a kid, he remembers Afghanistan and how many people were lost. Luckily he has Buck in his corner to help him get through the memories.

give me strength so i can see by see_addy_write (t/7k): After the tsunami, Buck is sure Eddie won't want him anywhere near Christopher -- or himself. Both of the Diaz boys have something to say about that.

haircut to the heart by itsmylifekay (nr/8k): 5 times Buck cuts Christopher’s hair and 1 time Christopher helps cut his.

In the Aftershock by hideeho (t/8k): When Eddie is injured on the job, Buck is forced to face the fallout.

Slow Your Thinking by an_alternate_world (e/10k): Eddie has the itch to fight, the discomforting unease of needing to release all his negativity again making it difficult to concentrate on the calls. Buck suggests an alternative: surrendering his need for control to Buck for a while.

Just For This Moment by suyari (m/10k): “Take your time,” Carla said sternly. “Don’t rush this because you’re worried, Buck, do you hear me? Any change in your scent could just set him off.”“Yes, thank you, I know how to deal with Alphas,” he drawled.“Yes, but Eddie’s not just another Alpha and I think it’s time we acknowledged that.”

You Are Safe (With Me) by BabylonsFall (g/10k): Or: 5 times Eddie waltzed into Buck's apartment like he owned it, and 1 time Buck tried

you waltz through my bloodstream by wayfarer (t/2k): Buck gets a boyfriend and Eddie is totally fine with that. Really.

can't fight that feeling by Anonymous (e/11k): “We have to keep this quiet,” he realizes.“That’s,” Eddie starts, his eyebrows tilting inwards adorably. “I mean, yeah, if that’s what you wanna do, then—”“Not for long,” Buck protests. “I’m thinking until tomorrow.”The eyebrows rise with interest; the eyes beneath get their spark back. “Yeah?”“It’s Maddie and Chimney’s wedding day,” Buck says, slipping his hands down the last bit and entwining them with Eddie’s. “Today should be solely about them, about their love. You and I can have tomorrow. All the tomorrows.”

Just Hold Me Well by Lobotomite (m/11k): It was meant to be a fun little trip with his 118 family; no stress, no drama, and certainly no sexuality-redefining fumbles that make him realize his more than platonic feelings towards his best friend. But, well, when has anything ever gone according to plan for Buck?

a leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things (nr/11k): Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

Darling It's Better (Down Where It's Wetter) by Onlymystory (e/20k): "Who the hell is that?" asks Buck. Like he doesn't know exactly who that is. Like a week ago he wasn't enjoying one of the best fucks of his life with Eddie Diaz. Or the reason for Buck's surprise at the new recruit isn't quite for the reasons everyone thinks.

i think i might've inhaled you by ariquitecontrary (m/20k): How do you tell your best friend that you're actually in love with them? If you're Evan Buckley, you don't.

dancing under red skies by dayswithout (g, 30k) Buck hates Eddie Diaz on sight.aka, a soulmate au. (Eddie’s POV; g/15k)

dancing under red skies by dayswithout (g/30k): Buck hates Eddie Diaz on sight.aka, a soulmate au.

The Education of Eddie Diaz by mansikka (e/30k): Eddie doesn't really know how it happened. One moment the 118 are drunk in a bar after a hard shift, confessions slipping from his mouth as he playfully kisses Buck on the cheek. The next he is on Buck's couch, taking up Buck's offer of an education that could be asking for trouble. But it's just sex, and they're just friends; it doesn't mean anything to either of them. So why is his time alone with Buck the highlight of his week?

Guess We'll Just Have to Adjust by CocoBadShip (m/30k): No, Buck does not have a damn crush on Eddie fucking Diaz. No, Buck is not thinking about Eddie's stupid smile or his stupid hair or that obscene sound he made when he pushed the couch the way he did.Having a crush would be weird. And dumb. And the last thing Buck needs in his already fucked up life.

tagging those of you who requested @lafdbuckley @casscent @googoodreamers

and some mutuals because why not @eddiediazs @judsonryder @fierydeans @buckleystrand

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like ��how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

[adultswim2021]

Ephemera Week (2002)

It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.

MARCH SPECIALS!

In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).

Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?

This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.

Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.

This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.

The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).

Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)

Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.

The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.

Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.

*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.

MAIL BAG

This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.

I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.

Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)

What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?

Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.

I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?

I’ve never had those are they good

What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.

In dude time, my friend. In dude time

What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?

Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?

That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.

All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?

If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?

McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.

Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do

Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.

Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.

Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.

Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.

Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)

The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.

Tell you more?

Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.

I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest

Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?

The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!

HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!

Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!

[set-phasers-to-whump]

the snow isn’t all that cold if you’ve got someone to hold

prompt: freezing (leftover from yesterday, used as kind of an alt prompt)

whumpee: eddie diaz

fandom: 911

hi! this fic is technically for day 1 i guess, but there are a couple days this month where neither prompt is really my thing so in those cases i will be using a prompt from a different day. there will still be 30 days of whump, but not 30 separate pairs of prompts used! anyway this fic is a bit softer and fluffier than my usual stuff but there is still whump! it’s just more gentle i guess lol. that’s just how it happened. i hope you enjoy! (title from heater by little car)

Buck opens the front door of the little cabin and steps aside to let Chris enter first. Chris walks inside, looks around for a split second, and promptly makes a beeline for the bedroom he’d claimed as ‘his’ the second he’d seen it on the website. 

“Buck, come see!” he calls excitedly, and Buck smiles to himself and follows Chris inside, glancing briefly back at Eddie, who is struggling up the path with the bags that he’d insisted upon carrying inside himself. 

“Look at that lamp!” Chris says, pointing to a bear-shaped lamp sitting atop the bedside table. He turns to Buck, smiling so widely that Buck thinks it must hurt his face. “This is gonna be the coolest weekend ever,” he continues, and Buck nods in agreement.

“What do you wanna do first, Superman?” he asks, and Chris shakes his head. 

“Buck, I gotta read my book for that,” he says, very seriously. The front door slams shut, and Chris immediately calls out to Eddie: “Dad! I need my book.”

Eddie comes into the room a second later with Chris’ bag, his beloved Guide to Sequoia National Park sticking out from one of the side pockets. 

“Thanks!” Chris says, grabbing the book and sinking down onto the bed. He flips it open and begins studying it intently, paying no mind to the other two people in the room. 

Buck and Eddie therefore leave Chris to it and step out into the living room to grab their own bags, which Eddie had evidently simply dropped in the middle of the floor as soon as he’d gotten inside. Buck sets his bag down next to the couch and flops down onto it.

“Buck, are you sure- ” Before Eddie can finish his sentence, Buck interrupts him with a stern glare. 

“Eds, I already claimed the couch, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“But- ”

Buck shakes his head, and Eddie, apparently sensing that this is a fight he is not going to win, flings his bag over his shoulder and makes his way to the cabin’s other bedroom, muttering something about at least flipping a coin for it. Not that Buck would’ve let that happen. He already can’t help feeling a bit like he is overstepping, although both Chris and Eddie had absolutely insisted that he come on this little trip with them, and there’s no way in hell he’s stealing the only other bed in the house from his best friend. So the couch it is. 

It’s silent in the cabin for a few minutes, until Chris comes out of his room and sits on the couch next to Buck, guidebook in hand. 

“Buck, I can’t decide which thing we should do first,” he says miserably, extending the book. Buck takes it and flips it open, looking through messily highlighted passages and various sticky notes covered in the handwriting of himself and both of the Diazes. 

“What about this?” Buck suggests, pointing to a picture of a person standing underneath a tunnel in the roots of a massive tree. 

Chris makes a noncommittal sound, so Buck continues looking through the book. Chris leans into his side and looks along with him, occasionally pointing out things he thinks are contenders for their first activity tomorrow. 

Eddie startles them both when he comes into the room, and he chuckles softly as they both turn to look at him. “I’m gonna go find some wood so we can have a fire tonight,” he says. “Sunset’s in about an hour and it’s supposed to get pretty chilly.”

Chris nods in agreement and asks if they can make hot chocolate later, to which Buck and Eddie simultaneously reply yes; and Buck jokingly tells Eddie to be careful with the ax (which is about half the size of the one they regularly use in the field), and then Eddie heads out into the forest and Chris and Buck return to their very important activity of scouring the guidebook. 

About twenty minutes pass pleasantly, with Buck and Chris slowly figuring out their plan of attack for the two days ahead. Then Chris looks up from the book and gasps. 

“Buck! Look, it’s snowing!”

Buck turns to look out the window, and sure enough, snow is pouring down from the sky. “That’s weird,” he says, half to himself. “It wasn’t supposed to snow this weekend.”

Chris suddenly looks very concerned. “Will we still be able to go and see the trees?”

“I think so,” Buck says reassuringly. He can’t imagine that this snow is going to last very long. He’d done a lot of research into the weather up here in the past couple weeks, and it’s really not supposed to snow this early into November. He figures that this snow will probably melt by midday tomorrow, which should still let them do everything that they’re planning on doing. 

“Good,” Chris says, and then he gets up and looks out the window, leaning against the pane, breath fogging up the glass. Buck wonders if he’s ever seen snow before, and he’s about to ask whether Chris would like to go outside and see it when he thinks of Eddie, and decides to shoot him a quick text to see whether he’s almost done with gathering wood. 

Eddie’s phone dings on the kitchen counter, and Buck sighs. He looks back out the window, where the snow is beginning to fall harder. It’s already a couple inches deep, he can tell, and Eddie hadn’t been wearing a coat when he’d gone out. He gives Eddie two minutes, in case he’s on his way back, and then starts putting on his own coat and the snow boots that he’d brought, just in case. 

“Are you going to get Daddy?” Chris asks, moving to stand next to Buck. He sounds a little worried, and Buck puts a soft hand atop his hair. 

“Yep, and then we can spend all evening with a nice, warm fire and some hot cocoa and maybe even a movie,” Buck says, zipping up his jacket. “In the meantime, why don’t you keep looking through your book and see if there’s anything we can do that’s inside.”

Chris nods and makes his way back to the couch, and Buck steps outside onto the front porch.

It’s cold. Really cold. Buck tries not to think about all of the many terrible things that could’ve happened to Eddie in the twenty minutes that he’s been gone as he makes his way out into the snow, calling out Eddie’s name. 

He walks for maybe ten minutes, slowly circling outwards from the front door of the cabin, continually calling for Eddie. The sun is starting to set, and the snow is falling faster still, and he is really trying not to panic now. He’s about to get out his phone and call 911 when he hears a voice, faint but unmistakably Eddie’s. 

“Hold on, Eddie, I’m coming!” he shouts, and hurries off in the direction of Eddie’s voice as fast as he can. 

He skids to a stop in front of Eddie, barely managing to stay on his feet as he hits an especially slippery patch of snow. “You okay?” he asks, even though Eddie is clearly freezing his ass off and definitely not okay.

“Slipped,” Eddie says, through chattering teeth. “Not hurt, don’t think, but it was too slippery. Couldn’t get back up.”

Buck can see how that might’ve happened. “I almost slipped too,” he says. “Lucky I didn’t, or we’d both be stuck out here.”

Eddie gives a soft laugh, then sucks in a sharp breath. “‘M really cold, Buck,” he says.

“I know,” Buck replies, carefully bending over and grabbing Eddie underneath his arms. “We’re gonna get you back to the cabin and warm you up as soon as we can, I promise.” He hauls Eddie to his feet, keeping an arm firmly wrapped around him to stop him from slipping again. This close together, he can hear Eddie’s teeth chattering, can feel the coldness of his skin and his clothes. Buck unzips his jacket and maneuvers his way out of it without letting go of Eddie, then tugs the jacket securely around Eddie’s shoulders, guiding his shaking arms into the sleeves and zipping it up. 

“‘S nice,” Eddie whispers, leaning a little more heavily into Buck.

“I bet,” Buck says, sympathetically. “But try not to lean on me too much, okay? The last thing we need is to both end up on our asses in the snow.”

Eddie nods and pulls away slightly, and then the two begin a very slow, very careful trek back to the cabin. 

Halfway there, the sun dips completely below the horizon, and the temperature feels like it drops another ten degrees. Eddie starts shivering harder, despite Buck’s jacket, and Buck throws caution to the wind and pulls Eddie closer, taking smaller steps and shining his phone’s flashlight onto the ground ahead of them.

“Is Chris okay?” Eddie asks, suddenly, stopping in his tracks and nearly causing the both of them to fall. 

“He’s okay,” Buck says, gently pulling him along. “He’s looking through his guidebook and finding some things to do indoors tomorrow, if this snow doesn’t let up.”

This answer seems to satisfy Eddie, who lapses into silence as they walk along through the snow. 

“Look, there’s the cabin,” Buck says, gesturing to its lights glowing through the darkness, even though he knows Eddie can’t see his hand. “We’re almost there.”

Eddie only hums in response, and Buck tugs him along a little faster, very anxious to get him inside and warmed up before this cold does any real damage.

A minute later, they’re stumbling through the front door, dripping melting snow onto the floor. Chris hurries up from the couch, guidebook tumbling to the floor. “Dad!”

Eddie turns to look at Chris, and Buck can see him trying to act okay for his son, but he’s shaking so hard that Buck doubts Chris is buying it for a second. 

“Is he okay?” Chris asks Buck, and Buck so desperately wants to wrap him in a hug and tell him that yes, Eddie’s going to be okay, but that would mean letting go of Eddie, which is not an option at the moment, so he settles for a nod instead. “Your dad’s going to be just fine,” he promises. “But he’s really cold right now, so I need to go and get him warmed up. And you know what he’s going to need most of all?”

Chris shakes his head. 

“He’s going to need to curl up on the couch with you and me and some hot chocolate and a movie. So, while we’re gone, we need you to pick out a good movie to watch, okay?”

Chris nods and adds, “I think maybe we need some blankets, too. Should I find some?”

“Yeah, buddy, that would be perfect,” Buck says, smiling. Chris smiles back, then steels his face into a look of pure determination and sets about on his very important task of finding blankets and picking a movie. 

Meanwhile, Buck leads Eddie into the bathroom and turns on the shower. He starts it off at a lukewarm temperature, not wanting to shock Eddie’s system by forcing him under hot water immediately. While the water warms up, he helps Eddie out of his freezing clothes and tries not to think about how much worse their situation could be right now if he hadn’t found Eddie when he did. 

Once the shower heats up, Buck opens the door and Eddie steps inside, flinching back as the warm water hits his freezing-cold skin. 

“Is it too hot?” Buck asks, but Eddie shakes his head. “Nice,” he says. 

“Once you feel like you’re used to that temperature, you can start warming it up in small increments,” Buck directs. “In the meantime, I’m going to get you some warm clothes and a towel, but you just yell if you need me, okay?”

“Kay,” Eddie agrees, and with that, Buck heads out of the bathroom. 

He takes a quick glance into the living room, where Chris sits on the couch, surrounded by at least five blankets. He’s flicking through movies on the TV with intense concentration, and Buck smiles at the back of his head. God, he loves this kid. 

He then gets back to his task and heads into Eddie’s room, where he locates Eddie’s bag and digs out his pajamas, which consist of a threadbare white t-shirt and a pair of flannel pants. He’s got a sweatshirt at the bottom of the bag, but Buck decides to go back out into the living room and grab one of his own sweatshirts instead. It’ll be bigger and hopefully cozier than Eddie’s own (not to mention the fact that he’s been wanting to give Eddie one of his sweatshirts for...too long). 

“How is he?” Chris asks, while Buck is digging through his bag. 

“He’s taking a nice warm shower right now,” Buck says, tugging his sweatshirt free of his other clothes. “Then we’ll come and join you out here with -” he looks up at the TV, where Chris has chosen the movie Frozen. He laughs out loud, and Chris giggles. “With Frozen, and I’ll make us some hot cocoa, and we’ll get nice and warmed up.”

“Okay,” Chris agrees. Buck makes his way back to the bathroom with the clothes in hand, stopping along the way to grab a towel from the linen closet. He throws all of the items into the cabin’s little dryer and lets them spin for a few minutes, during which time he checks up on Eddie, who seems to be shivering considerably less under the now-steaming water. 

When the clothes and towel are nicely warmed up, Buck brings them back into the bathroom. “You might wanna get out now before these all cool down again,” he suggests, and Eddie reaches up to turn off the water. His hand trembles a little, but for the most part he looks quite a bit steadier, and Buck breathes a sigh of relief. Eddie’s really going to be fine. 

He gives Eddie some privacy to dry off, and a few minutes later, he emerges from the bathroom, hair still wet, the sleeves of Buck’s sweatshirt covering his hands, which hold onto the damp towel. Buck takes it from him and uses it to dry off Eddie’s hair a bit better than Eddie had managed to do. It sticks up from his head when he’s done, and makes him look way cuter than Buck thinks he has any right to. He quickly squashes down that thought and hangs the towel up in the bathroom, then tells Eddie to go sit down on the couch while he makes some hot chocolate. 

Buck watches Eddie walk slowly out to the living room, and hears him laugh softly at Chris’ choice of movie. He smiles to himself, wonders briefly how in the hell he had gotten so lucky as to have these two wonderful people in his life, then gets busy making some hot chocolate. While he stirs the milk in the pan, he thinks about what they’re going to do if their activities end up being impossible due to the snow. He knows Chris might complain for a moment, then accept whatever fate they’re handed, but they had spent a lot of time planning this trip, and Chris had been so excited to come and see the trees he’d learned so much about in school, and he can’t let the kid miss out on that. Privately, he resolves to bring the Diazes back to the park in the summer, when they can be assured it’s not going to snow. 

Buck finishes up the hot chocolate and distributes it across three large mugs, which he balances precariously in his arms as he makes his way into the living room. He sets the steaming mugs carefully onto the coffee table, pulling it closer to the couch so that Chris can easily reach it, then sits down on the couch with Chris and Eddie. Chris is curled into Eddie's left side, a large blanket covering them both. Eddie’s still shivering a bit, but there’s a tinge of pink returning to his face, and he turns and smiles at Buck when he sits down on Eddie’s other side. 

“How you feeling?” Buck asks softly, as Chris presses play on the remote. 

“Better,” Eddie whispers back, reaching out and grabbing one of the mugs. He wraps his hands around it, and Buck wraps his left arm around Eddie’s shoulders, tugging him closer in the process and letting his hand rest on Chris’ shoulder. 

They watch the movie in comfortable silence, and by the time it’s halfway through, Chris is almost asleep and Eddie is no longer shivering. After another fifteen minutes, Chris is solidly asleep, leaning against the side of the couch, and Eddie’s head has dropped down to rest on Buck’s shoulder. 

I really don’t wanna do this, Buck thinks, but he also doesn’t want Chris and Eddie to sleep all bunched up and uncomfortable on the couch, so he gently pushes on Eddie until he sits up, blinking around confusedly for a second until his eyes land on Buck.

“Sorry,” Buck whispers. “Couldn’t let you fall asleep out here.”

Eddie nods, resting his head against the couch cushion instead, and Buck stands up, circling around the couch. He carefully picks up Chris, trying his best not to wake him, then carries him to his room and tucks him into bed. He presses a quick kiss to Chris’ forehead, then gently closes the door and returns to Eddie. 

Who is again half-asleep. “C’mon Eds, let’s get you to bed,” Buck says, grabbing Eddie’s hands and pulling him to his feet. Eddie leans forward, pressing his head into Buck’s shoulder and making an mmph sound. 

“It’s not that far,” Buck promises, and Eddie reluctantly starts walking. Buck follows behind him, arms full of several of the blankets from the couch. 

Once they arrive in the bedroom, Eddie immediately flops down onto the bed, not even bothering to crawl under the blankets. Buck sighs and untucks them, pulling them out from underneath Eddie and then draping them over his already-nearly-asleep form. He piles on several more blankets, until Eddie is fairly buried in them. That done, he turns to leave. 

“Buck.”

“Yeah?” Buck turns around in the doorway.��

“Stay.”

Buck doesn’t even pretend to try and fight. Instead, he simply crawls into the bed beside Eddie. His skin is still slightly colder than it should be, and Buck tells himself that this is the only reason why he pulls Eddie in closer to his chest, tucking Eddie’s head beneath his chin. They fit together like that easily, and Eddie sighs contentedly, tugging one of the blankets completely off of Buck and pulling it closer to himself as his breathing slows and deepens. 

Buck is all of a sudden very glad that it’s dark and Eddie is turned away from him, so there is no chance of him seeing the ridiculously fond grin that spreads across his face. I think maybe this is what it’s supposed to be like, Buck thinks, and then he closes his eyes and lets sleep take him, too.

thanks for reading this! i hope you liked it :)

[softisdangerous]

Excerpt from Chap 17 of Call of the Blood

Eric’s POV - Thursday July 16th & Friday, July 17th, 2009

I closed the bar for the night. Interrogating the drainers had been useless, and their screams were both irritating and loud, but at least Chow enjoyed his work. Pam had been telling me for months that it was time to adjust our styling again, to keep up with the times and that my long hair was getting to the point of ridiculous. I did not like to change my hair, but I was inclined to let her pamper me a bit. I had been short tempered with her, nearly biting her head off at every question she asked me. My ill-temper was only exacerbated by the fact that I was ridiculously thirsty, and the only thing that sounded remotely appetizing to me was Jane’s fresh blood.

But I wasn’t about to put her at risk again. No, I lacked the control to drink from her right now. It was nearly unthinkable that after a thousand years I still couldn’t master all of my bloodlust, but I wasn’t too proud to admit it, if only to myself. It did have me questioning what made Jane so unique. I was beginning to wonder if she was all human, or if she had some latent ancestry that made her blood addictive, and made the drinker…what? What effect did she have on me? Insanity? Obsession?

Love?

I squashed that thought quickly. No, she was just unique and Godric was missing.

Pam was putting foul chemicals on my head and idly explaining what she was doing, but I wasn’t focusing on her words. I was still attempting to think. Godric missing? He would have told me where he was. He had always informed me when he was leaving, even if he knew that I wouldn’t be pleased by his departure. How could he be missing? The drainers had no methods that Godric wouldn’t have been able to overcome. He was too old, too powerful for drainers to have taken him. And based on the conversation of prisoners downstairs, I doubted there was nothing these racists could do that Godric wouldn’t simply be able to bat away. That wouldn’t stop me from questioning him, most vigorously.

I despised the newest addition to the prison in the basement. Royce Allen Williams. It constantly talked, finally admitting shame for past actions, only now, when confronted with imminent demise. I knew these weak types. If released, he would return exactly to his old ways, claim it was an act of God and continue on with dishonorable acts. My teeth were already on edge and then when it discussed escaping… I couldn’t control my rage.

Pam sighed loudly when she heard its plans to escape.

“Don’t fuck up your hair,” she demanded as I stood to go collect it.

“I won’t Pam, I’ll bring it up, let Chow do the dirty work, and then he can put the rat back in it’s cage.”

She huffed, but didn’t stop me.

I strolled down to the basement silently.

“I got a plan. I'm busting us out,” the racist claimed.

“Don't be an idiot,” the V dealer advised wisely.

“I'll come back for you. Promise,” the man claimed. I made some noise so they would know I was coming. I heard their heart rates jump and it was almost enough to make me smile. I hummed softly to myself.

“Shh, Shut up.”

“Shushing won't do you any good, Sweetheart. We hear everything. Since you made me come all the way down here, I'm gonna take out some of the garbage,” I told them as I removed the cape that Pam had placed on me to prevent the chemicals in my hair from staining my clothes. I knelt down in front of the pathetic piece of trash that had burned Malcom, Liam, and Diane’s nest to the ground. “Royce Allen Williams, we have a few questions for you, with regard to a fire which killed three of our kind.” I stared him down.

“No fucking way, man. I don't know anything,” he said, pretending to not be afraid, but I could hear his heart pounding.

“Crimes against vampires are on the rise. We even lost a Sheriff just days ago. We seek answers.” I unchained him and pushed him forward and then, most surprisingly, he turned and struck me across the face.

He screamed at me, “Die, you dead fucker!”

I was furious when I felt the burn of silver against my face, how had I not noticed? The stench of human filth was disgusting and overwhelming. One more reason to not chain prisoners this way; it was impossible to scent silver through the odor.

That silver burn against my skin… it amplified all the emotions I had been trying to resist. My fear, my rage, my bloodlust. It all came pouring forth.

I eviscerated him where he stood, drinking his filthy blood and pulling off several of his limbs. It was, in no way, satisfying. I felt worse than before, still thirsty, and more on edge than ever. I tossed an arm away, and it accidentally splattered against the final prisoner, the V dealer, Lafayette Reynolds.

“If you have any silver on you, now would be the time to reveal it,” I told him.

From his hiding spot behind a post he called out, “No way. I ain't that stupid.”

“Yes, you are,” I replied. And then I noticed how much blood I had on my hands. I went to wipe my mouth and realized I had splattered it all over. “Is there blood in my hair?” I asked the man.

“What?” he responded. Was he an idiot or just hard of hearing?

“Is there blood in my hair?” I asked him again, louder.

“I..I don't know, I can't see in this light,” he stuttered out.

I zoomed over to him.

“How about now?” I asked, looking into his deep eyes.

“Yeah, there's a little bit of blood there,” he stammered, his heart pounded deliciously. At least he was honest. I wished I could scent him more, but all I could smell was the blood of the racist and the foul scent of human waste.

“Well this is bad. Pam is gonna kill me,” I realized out to loud to him.

“Who the fuck is Pam?” he asked and I found it amusing that he had so quickly forgotten his place.

“Why, do you wanna meet her?” I asked, toying with him.

“No. No. I'm good,” he replied, and I found his mock confidence charming.

“Well, you're going to,” I told him as I unchained him.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked as I held him by the back of the neck and pushed him forward.

“To find out what you know,” I explained, kicking the remaining bits of the racist out of the way. “I wouldn't try anything rash if I were you. I'm still hungry.”

I brought him up to the office where Pam and Chow were waiting, I pushed him into the chair opposite the desk as Pam started berating me.

“What the fuck, Eric!” she snapped. “You’ve ruined your hair!”

She had already been upset with me, and now this?

“I’m sorry Pam, it was not my intention,” I told her with a sigh, I didn’t often apologize to her, but it was called for.

I sat on the stool, she put a fresh cape on me, and then she began to assess the damage.

“This is a disaster. We'll have to go much shorter than I planned.”

“Yeah, well, I said I was sorry, Pam. But he took silver to me,” I explained. I looked at the V dealer, Lafayette Reynolds. “You were there. You saw it. Defend me,” I urged him.

“I don't know what it is you wanna know, but point me in the direction, and I give to you,” he told me earnestly and fearfully.

“I've seen your website,” I started, Chow had shown me it earlier. It was an impressive bit of tawdriness, and I was certain it was lucrative. “It's quite, uh, low rent. But your clients miss you, Lafayette. They're wondering if you're ever coming back.”

“Am I?” he asked, and I let the silence linger. “Look, I'm here because of the V, right? How 'bout I give you the names of everybody I ever sold to?” Already so cooperative? Lovely.

“And all this time I thought prostitutes were good at keeping secrets,” Pam snarked, knowing the prevarication of that statement more than anyone. Prostitutes would only keep a secret for a price, and for her the price had always been quite high.

“Don't get it twisted, honeycomb, I'm a survivor first, a capitalist second, and a whole bunch of other shit after that. But a hooker, dead last. So if I got even a Jew at an al Qaeda pep rally shot at getting my black ass up out this motherfucker, I'm taking it. Now, what you wanna know?”

Pam smiled, absolutely delighted, and I could see why. This Lafayette Reynolds was a cut from the exact same cloth as her.

A survivor first, a businesswoman second, and a hooker dead last.

“The vampire you had your little arrangement with. Eddie Fournier. What happened to him?” I asked.

“I don't know. I swear to God I don't. Last time I saw him he was doing real good. But I think he may have been taken by somebody,” Lafayette had hesitated to tell me this information, he must have an inkling of the perpetrator.

“By whom?” I prompted.

“I don't know,” he started. “I mean I ain't sure.”

“Hm, that's not very forthcoming of you,” I told him. I looked over at my enforcer, who had been waiting so very patiently. “Chow, you're up.”

“No! No, chill out. Shit,” Lafayette held up his hand to Chow, motioning for him to stop, and then Lafayette caved. “I think it... I think it was... Jason Stackhouse.”

“Jason Stackhouse?” I asked, nonplussed.

“Sookie's brother,” Pam reminded me in Swedish. “Could be fun,” she added and then I remember him. Handsome, AB negative, and he had come to the bar looking for vampire blood.

“Fun, but also stupid. Sookie is too important for us now,” I reminded Pam. She was an asset, one that I wanted working for me.

“That's true,” Pam agreed, reluctantly.

“Sadly, this information is of no use to me. Not now, anyway,” I told the confused looking Lafayette. Then I moved on to the line of questioning that I had been most anxious to discuss. “I understand dealers of vampire blood sometimes trade product with one another across state lines. Any buyers in the Dallas area?” I asked, revealing some of what I had learned from the drainers before I had killed them. Their blood was all bagged up and sitting in the freezer now, and the irony of draining drainers was not lost on me.

“One,” Lafayette said right away, cooperating fully. “He never gave me his name though. I have an e-mail address. Pussylover9@shemail.com.”

Pam smirked at the email address, and I wondered briefly if she was going to change her online handle.

“A friend of mine in the Dallas area, his name is Godric, has gone missing. Now, while the circumstances of his disappearance are unclear, it stands to reason his blood would be very valuable, as he's over twice my age and ten times the vampire I will ever be,” I said and realized that I had said more than I wanted. That my worries about him were sliding smoothly from my tongue and that I needed to feed again if I was ever going to get myself under control.

“Oh Eric, you don't do humble well,” Pam said teasingly, trying to lighten my mood. She knew with Godric missing, I was more on edge than ever.

“I was not being humble. This happens to be true,” I nearly snapped at her again, and I saw her hurt at my behavior toward her. I focused back on my line of questioning.“Your associate, this ‘pussylover’, has he or she mentioned any new product coming on the market?”

“No, no. And I would tell you. You know that,” he told me and I knew that he was honest, but it frustrated me to no end that he had nothing that could help.

I turned to Chow and asked him, “Take our guest and lock him back out, will you?”

Lafayette jumped to his feet. “Fuck that, I ain't going back down there. I gave you…”

“You gave me nothing!” I shouted, furious that this man had no information that would lead to Godric.

“I'm not going back.” Lafayette tried to push Chow away, and I gave the order again.

“Chow, now.”

Lafayette fought against Chow and I found it curious. I couldn’t help but be impressed by his vigor, his fight, his passion.

“I gave you every... I gave you everything! I ain't going back down!” he continued to shout as Chow manhandled him back down to the basement.

It was then that I heard the sound of an additional human heart beat and the soft scent of roses. I reached out to my blood in Jane and, of course, she was standing in the hall outside the office. What in Hel was she doing here?

The door creaked open and there was sweet little Jane. Her eyes widened as she took in my appearance. Perhaps this would scare her off for good.

“Jane,” I greeted her.

“I guess I should have called,” she said meekly.

“Yes,” I replied. She certainly had the power understatement. I turned to Pam, “Leave us. I need to glamour her.” Pam looked over at Jane and shook her head, leaving the office and shutting the door behind her. Why had Jane even come here? I didn’t want to have to do this, but she left me with no choice! I looked over at little Jane, she looked especially young and doll-like. “I have to glamour you now. You realize that?”

“Why?” she asked, clearly confused.

I prayed for the patience of Baldr, and I rested my hands on my desk. She drove me absolutely insane.

“You saw one of the prisoners, and he recognized you, even. What is to prevent you from telling the human authorities what you saw?” I asked her, and she stared me down.

“I won’t,” she promised. “It’s none of their business. You’re the Sheriff. He was the V dealer, I assume?” she asked, crossing her arms, and pushing her perfect bosom higher.

“Yes,” I acknowledged.

“I won’t tell anyone I saw him. Please… don’t glamour me,” she begged me and I saw her lip tremble in fear. I believed she wouldn’t give up this information knowingly, but her mind was open to any vampire, and now the telepath as well. I had to glamour her, for her own safety.

“It’s too dangerous for you as well. Especially now that you’re friends with a telepath, your silence could incriminate you,” I explained to her. Those dark blue green eyes of hers steeled and I could help but feel proud of her. She could be quite brave, facing something that she feared so greatly.

“What will you do? Make me forget?” she asked.

“That path leads to many problems, as you saw with Ginger. You will retain the memory, but you won’t be able to think of it. You will know, but you won’t be able to say anything about it.” I didn’t want to have to glamour her, and I worried about this.I knew too much glamouring would damage her mind. And her mind was a unique one.

She nodded at me, drawing her courage around her.

I hated this. I remember what she had told me, that it felt like mind rape. I never wanted to make her feel violated, especially in light of the other trauma she had experienced.

“Fine,” she told me and I began the glamour.

“Jane.”

Her eyes glazed over and I imposed my will on her.

“You will not be able to think of the man that you saw Chow take to the basement. You will not speak of what you witnessed to anyone.”

“Of course,” she agreed.

I released her and she lurched to the trash bin, vomiting. Humans and their fluids. I’d had enough of them today. She sat on the couch, and I felt her through the blood. I felt her upset. Why did she do this? It made me hate myself.

“Why did you come?” I asked her.

“I wanted to talk to you. I can see that you’re... busy. I’ll go. I’ll text or call next time,” she told me vaguely, standing to leave. I grabbed her arm, my intention had been to ask her to elaborate, to explain what her purpose was but I felt her warmth beneath my hand and all my urges to devour and claim her came hurtling to the surface. The look she gave me, the feeling from her in the blood...lust. She wanted me. She wanted me even when I was covered in blood.

My fangs dropped hard and I was seconds away from biting her throat and fucking her on my desk.

What the fuck was wrong with me? I released her quickly and forced my fangs up painfully.

“Jane. Things are...tense. With my Maker missing,” I tried to explain, but I really couldn’t. I couldn’t explain my loss of control around her.

“Let me know if I can help,” she offered sweetly.

She had no idea of the danger I posed to her, I shook my head at her. “I will not hurt you again,” I promised her.

She smiled her strange sad smile, the one that made the area where my heart used to pulse ache.

“Goodnight, Eric,” she said softly, and then she left.

What the fucking Hel!? I slammed my hand against the wall, creating a crack in the plaster and I didn’t give a flying fuck.

What was wrong with me?

****

The next evening I took Pam to the mall and allowed her to shop and style me as she pleased. It seemed the very least I could do and having my childe close brought me comfort. I wore Godric’s platinum coated fang around my throat, as if wearing it would allow me to find him.

As we were strolling through the mall, who should we see but Bill fucking Compton.

Then, in a stroke of genius, I had an idea. Bill’s telepathic human could search for Godric. Sookie could investigate the humans at the Fellowship of the Sun and see if Stan’s assertion that they were behind Godric’s disappearance was correct.

“Go to the bar Pam, I’ll meet you there after I negotiate with Billy boy,” I told her. She brushed invisible lint from the navy tracksuit she had dressed me in and then departed with a smile. While it wasn’t what I would choose for myself, I was fine with indulging my child in her game of dressup.

I strolled through the store, and meandered over to Bill.

“Good evening, old sport,” I greeted him, hoping to make him feel at ease. He would be easier to bargain with if he was in a giving mood.

“Eric?” he said, astounded, by either my presence or my new attire, it was hard to say.

“It's the new me. You like?” I asked, smirking. How many times do we have to reinvent ourselves?

“I do. Very much,” Bill agreed, the Mainstreamer he was, he would likely follow all the latest human trends. I almost scoffed at the idea of him wearing one of those hats that truckers wear. The sales associate that had been attempting to hit on him, backed away sheepishly.

“Oh, okay,” she looked between us and I realized that she thought we were a couple. Hilarious, as if Bland Bill could stir my passions.

“We need to talk,” I told him.

He glared and I led him away from the humans and began to explain.

“The Sheriff of Area 9 in Texas has gone missing. Have you heard about that?”

“I hadn't, but I know the vampire of whom we speak. His name is Godric, correct?”

I wondered how Bill knew of Godric. But Godric’s reputation did precede him.

“Indeed. Now it goes without saying he needs to be found. Which is where Sookie comes in. As she's yours, I'm asking your permission to take her with me to Dallas,” I explained my plan to him.

“Eric, you can do whatever you want with me, but I am not putting her in this position anymore. I cannot and I will not allow you to bring her into these matters,” he said, not even attempting to barter with me.

“We made a deal, your human and I. That if I didn't kill, she would work for me as often as I like. Now, you remember this, don't you? You were there,” I reminded him.

“Taking her across state lines is a far cry from taking her to Fangtasia for the evening,” Bill said sternly, clearly not willing to discuss this further. What a fool.

“I'm only asking your permission out of respect. If I want her, I can simply take her. Is "no" your final answer?” I asked him.

“It is,” he said firmly.

I shook my head, and replied, “Poorly played, Bill.”

He wasn’t even willing to try to bargain with me, and I wondered again about his purpose with the telepathic waitress. I checked my phone on the way out of the mall, surprised to see that I missed several calls from Pam. I called her as I strolled out.

“You rang?” I asked.

“Mmm, yeah, the lovely Lafayette Reynolds tried to escape and Ginger shot him,” Pam said in her usual tone.

“Is he dead?” I asked her in Swedish.

“Not yet, our meretricious little Macgyver dug the metal hip out of his dead compadre with his teeth, used it to break his chains, and then attempted to seduce Ginger into letting him go,” Pam explained gleefully. “I like him, can we keep him?”

“Creative,” I commented as I exited the mall. “I’ll be there soon.”

I went behind the mall and took off in flight. I had to stop and pick up the accounting work from Bruce, and then I was able to return to Fangtasia. I strolled into the back, checking over the numbers for the bar. It was scented with rich thick blood, flavorful and powerful...full of untapped potential.

“Sorry to keep you waiting for so long,” I said as I entered the office. “How's the leg?” I asked Lafayette.

“Shitty. Thanks for asking,” he replied with sarcasm at his pain and Pam grinned again.

“After all your proclamations about what a model prisoner you were going to be, you had to try to escape,” I said, curious about his reasoning, but he did say he was a survivor first. I couldn’t really begrudge him that.

“You were going to kill me anyway, right?” he asked next and Pam smirked. We’d certainly have to kill him now, he wasn’t going to make it without medical care.

“Now you'll never know. So, what's it gonna be, Lafayette? Would you like the leg to kill you, or would you prefer us to do it?”

“I'm gonna go with plan C,” he said and he surprised me, such a rare thing for a breather.

“There's a plan C?” I asked.

“Make me a vampire,” he offered.

“I beg your pardon?”

Then he began to make his case, “And you can put me to work in the bar. I'm a good dancer. You seen it on my site. Shit, I get up there and move Earth and heaven, go-go style.”

I came and stood over him, not sure what he knew about vampires and turning. “You are aware there's a gaping hole in your leg? You're damaged goods,” I tested him.

“Not if you turn me. I'll be good as ever.” So he did know at least that much. “Look, I... I'm already a person of poor moral character, so I'll hit the ground running. And I damn near glamour people already. Give me what y'all got, and it's on me, cracker. Not only will I be a badass vampire, but I'll be your badass vampire.”

For a moment, time was frozen. I was sucked into the memory of Pamela asking me to turn her, and me refusing, and her making her case to me. And then her killing herself anyway and I decided… I chose to have her by side, my companion.

My badass vampire.

I liked this Lafayette Reynolds. He lived with a sort of honesty that was rare, and he had shown himself to have the survival instincts and spirit that would take him through the ages. He interested me, and so very few men did. He also reminded me much of Pam and I could see that they would be excellent blood siblings, thick as thieves. It would be good to have youngling around, so fresh and eager...

I scented his rich blood, his untapped potential and….it all intrigued me.

Was I actually considering this, now, with my control all over and Godric missing? Was this just another way in which I was losing touch? No, best not to make any major decisions now. We could start to drink from him now, I could reconsider later, after I’d fed, and had a clearer head. He had a few good nights left in him still.

“Interesting. I'll take it under advisement,” I told him. “Pam, Chow, chowtime,” I offered and Chow grinned at my play on words, puns really were the height of humor.

Then, I leaned over and bit Lafayette.

He was absolutely delicious.

[typingtess]

NCIS: Los Angeles Season Eleven Rewatch:  “Murder of Crows”

The basics:  When an NCIS Agent with top secret clearance goes missing, the team and his former technical operator have to find him.

Written by:  Chad Mazero co-wrote “Internal Affairs”, “Revenge Deferred” and “Where Everybody Knows Your Name” and wrote “Tidings We Bring”, “Can I Get a Witness”, “All Is Bright”, “Diamond in the Rough” and "High Society".

Directed by:  Suzanne Saltz directed "Outside the Lines" in season nine.

Guest stars of note:  Duncan Campbell returns from season 10’s “Sound of Silence” as NCIS Special Agent Castor, Adam George Key is back from “Missing Time” as LAPD Officer Harrison, Royce Binion is back from “The Circle’ as Eddie.  Anna Akana as Rhea Moretti, Patricia De Leon as Ellie Martinez, Angela E. Gibbs as Ellen, Travis Hammer as Perry Bellamy and Connor Marx as Disheveled Man.

Our heroes:  Search for a missing NCIS agent in a very rainy episode.

What important things did we learn about:

Callen:  Looking at real estate Anna sends him. Sam:  Has a guy in real estate (just like having a tailor or cobbler). Kensi:  Working to find an out of the office activity for Fatima. Deeks:  Processes, doesn’t spiral. Eric:  Working on being more present. Nell:  Absent. Hetty:  See Nell.

What not so important things did we learn about:

Callen:  Announces Anna likes to look. Sam:  Not interested in Callen or Anna’s off work activities – like looking. Kensi:  Fan of the Eagles – band not football team. Deeks:  Late for the Hanson reunion tour. Eric:  Wore a Mandalorian costume to a bris. Nell:  See Hetty. Hetty:  Absent.

Who's down with OTP:  Not much today.  

Who's down with BrOTP:  All is well with the DVD cover fellas bantering way.  A nice few Deeks and Eric moments in the hour.  Kensi is trying a little too hard with Fatima.  

Any pressing need for a young FBI Agent:  Not today.  Oddly, although there is no Hetty or Nell, the team seems properly staffed.

Who is running the team this week?  Callen.

Fashion review:  Blue button-down shirt for Callen over a black tee.  Long-sleeve black tee for Sam.  Kensi starts the episode in an olive green long-sleeve work out top and black running tights before changing into a burgundy henley and tan cargo pants.  We will never discuss the pants again.  Ever.  Off-white long-sleeve tee for Deeks.  Dark blue pull-over sweater and a blue dress shirt for Eric.  

Music:  No.

Any notable cut scene: No.

Quote: Callen:  “Anna likes to look.” Sam:  “You know, I've made it clear, I don't need to know all the details of your life. All right?  Please.” Callen:  “Houses. At houses. It's fun for her. She sends me links.” Sam:  “Well, she's lived an unpredictable life. It makes sense she'd want stability.” Callen:  “Uh, she wants more than stability. She's looking for the whole American dream. I mean, all of it. The milk mustaches, apple pie.” Sam:  “What do you think?” Callen:  “Frankly prefer blueberry myself.”

Anything else:   At a comedy club, stand-up comic Rhea is bombing.  The audience is bailing, heckling too.  A gentleman walks in, causing Rhea to cut her set short.  As she walks off the stage, the man shadows her.  Taking a beer bottle from a waitress’ tray, Rhea attacks the man.  The two get into a fight until she is finally able to flee.

The following morning, Eric is at the bar preparing for a presentation at a cyber conference.  His speech includes wondering why does he does what he does for a living.  He is not good at the answers.  Deeks has a bad reaction.  Not to Eric’s answer but a bad review for the bar – “a minimalist ghost town out of touch with all that is edgy and provocative.”  Yelling libel and slander, Deeks is worry about the bad publicity.  

Eric tells Deeks not to work, the review will be forgotten before anyone sees it.  Deeks thinks Eric is going to make the article disappear.  That wasn’t what Eric meant – besides hacking a website is wrong.  “So is wearing a Mandalorian costume to a bris but that didn’t stop you now, did it?” Deeks asks.  Eric is going to work and suggests Deeks does as well or Hetty will find an edgy and provocative reason to fire him.

After getting their morning coffee from a cart in a park, Sam wants to know if Callen wants to take the lead.  Sam noticed Callen was looking at real estate.  Callen sees it more as looking to invest.  Callen is impressed by the turnkey condos out there.  Sam thinks Callen is looking for more.

Kensi and Fatima are tossing a medicine ball and talking about dating, which Fatima thinks of as a war zone.  She reminds Kensi that Kensi hasn’t been dating for a while.  Kensi wants to hear how bad it can be.  Fatima’s last boyfriend was obsessed with the Eagles – band not football team.  Kensi thought that was great.  Fatima is surprised Kensi was a fan.  

Fatima wanders off and Kensi follows.  Everything is hard right now for Fatima, who is tired.  Kensi brings up Fatima’s tough few months and how she’s been fighting through it.  The job can take things out of a person – having a life away from the office is good.  All Fatima has right now is Ruffles and The Great British Bakeoff.  A call comes in – not Fatima’s Eagles fan – but a case.  They’re on their way to Ops.

Folding his hands and taking a deep breath, Eric invites Kensi and Fatima into Ops.  They of course are already there.  Eric is trying to be present.  On the big screen in the employment background of NCIS Agent Robert Forbes.  Forbes works out of the Key West office but is on assignment in LA.  He missed his 5AM check-in and did not show up to work.  Kensi notes the quick turn around on the missing person report – Forbes must have worked on top secret projects.  Fatima confirms that all of Forbes’s work was top secret.

When Forbes has a project, he goes to that location – his work records has him working in Rota, New York, Norfolk, Philly, a joint task force called “Never More” and now Key West.  He has no family.  His current assignment includes counterintelligence for a new type of network architecture for the Air Force.  That makes him of great interest to America’s enemies or makes him a traitor for selling that info to the same enemies.  They need to find him.

Callen and Sam are off to the house Forbes is renting in Hollywood.  Kensi and Fatima are off to where Forbes was last seen, a church.  Fatima asks about Deeks.  Fearing he’d burst in to flames if he entered a church, Kensi is happy to be working with Fatima.  Besides, Deeks is a little distracted.  

The rental is a nice, two-bedroom that Callen finds too quiet.  Sam thinks there would be noise complaints in this area if Callen was to saw his furniture in half late at night.  By the way, in this nice neighborhood of small bungalows, someone is building a big, new-age techy looking house which looks so out of place (as a New Yorker, I’m all about the real estate porn).  Back to the quiet area, Callen thinks grabbing Forbes and dragging him from his home would also be too loud for the sleepy neighborhood.  Sam tells Callen he knows a realtor – “of course you do,” is Callen’s reply since Sam also knows a tailor and a cobbler.  A window breaks in the back of the house and an alarm goes off.  Callen and Sam find Rhea the comic, who when Callen and Sam yell “federal agents” she announces she’s one too.  Former but still.  She asks if they are with NCIS.

In Forbes’s rental, Callen and Sam tell Rhea she has five minutes to tell them everything because LAPD is likely on their way with the alarm being tripped.  She starts with some comedy – nothing funny to Callen and Sam.  All she wants to do is find Forbes.   Rhea and Forbes worked together in Key West – she was his tech operator and now she’s trying to save his life.  She recalls the fight from the night before but is worried about Forbes.  While she can find, Forbes can’t – tiny wrists.  

Filling in Callen and Sam, Andre Vargas, an arms dealer out of Mexico was the target of a joint task force operation where Forbes and Rhea were key players.  Their covers blown, Forbes and Rhea were pulled out of the investigation.  Everything was fine until Vargas showed up at her show the night before and tried to kill her.  Thinking Vargas is unhappy with the cost of going underground, Callen and Sam see revenge as the reason Forbes could be missing.  Rhea needs protection too – she’s on her way to the boat shed with LAPD.  “What’s that like, a Crab Shack?”  

Looking for a way to get Fatima out and about, Kensi suggests a kick-ball league.  LA has adult leagues all over the city.  It is a way for Fatima to get out of the house without dating.  NCIS is enough of a team sport for Fatima.  Kensi suggests maybe a cooking class – Kensi could use to the help, they could go together.  Fatima’s mother is treating every night like a cooking class since she moved home.  Fatima has a great idea for something they can do together – solve the case.

Kensi gets to the church door only to find it locked – most churches are not locked.  A church volunteer, Ellen, is leaving through another door.  She’s willing to help but doesn’t know much – she doesn’t like to meddle.  She has a list of people who do – Rosemary.  Fatima is not all that interested in Rosemary but the Ellen is surprised two “CSI Agents” would not be interested in an embezzler.  Kensi corrects Ellen about their agency but is interested in Rosemary the embezzler.  “You didn’t it hear it from me,” Ellen tells Kensi and Fatima about Rosemary skimming from the collection plate.  Ellen admits her eyesight isn’t all that good.  Ellen thinks the FBI is lucky to have Fatima.

Kensi shows Ellen a photo of Forbes on her phone.  While Forbes isn’t a member of the church, he attends the weekly AA meetings on Saturdays.  Asked if she knows anything about Forbes, Ellen says they call the meeting anonymous for a reason.  Ellen is yet another winning supporting character.

Arriving at the boat shed with the officer who arrested Anna in “Missing Time”, Rhea is dispensing advice on the guy’s personal life.  She then thinks Deeks is late for the Hanson reunion tour.  Rhea “apologizes” – she left her manners on the floor of the comedy club, Cahoots, while she was fighting for her life.  Deeks wants to know if Cahoots is a “uh, uh” club or a “boom-boom” club.  More of a “ha-ha” club.  Deeks is surprised she’s a stand-up comedian.  Calling it therapy for someone without insurance, comedy is the reason she moved to LA.

Recapping her evening for Deeks, Rhea remembers a grey car outside of the club, idling.  “Something your mom would definitely drive.”  Deeks understands the description but Bertie drives a PT Cruiser “and she drives it hard.”

Again rehearsing his speech, this time in Ops, Eric has an accidental audience – Kensi and Fatima.  After the applause dies down, Eric has photos of Andre Vargas in LA.  He explains Forbes was targeting Vargas on a case a six months ago.   He also tells them about Rhea, who quit NCIS.  Fatima wonders if Rhea left because she didn’t have the energy.  Eric projects more about not being sure why you do your job in the first place.  Kensi would like them to get it together.

Forbes’s finances are fine though he likes expensive wines.  This is a surprise to Kensi and Fatima because of the AA meetings.   Credit card statements have him making regular, high-end purchases at Highland Park Wine.  He’s either a collector of he’s fallen off the wagon.  Kensi and Fatima are on their way to Highland Park Wine to see.

At Forbes’s rental, the bathroom is moldy for house hunting Callen while Sam is amazed at the parking tickets Forbes has amassed in LA and one in San Diego.  The San Diego ticket has a different license plate number – maybe  rental.  The location where the ticket was written was right on the US/Mexico border – the same day Vargas arrived in the US.  Maybe Forbes got him across the border.

Angry that she is wasting away at “this poor man’s Long John Silver’s” while her friend is in trouble, Rhea gets pushed by Deeks on her relationship with Forbes.  Forbes was a “big brother” to Rhea.  They had lunch about two-months ago.  Rhea invited him to her shows but he was always too busy.  Asked about how their covers were blown, Rhea isn’t one for office gossip but the joint task force had NCIS, FBI and CIA – anyone could have talked.  

Deeks pushes the idea that Forbes was the leak.  Rhea isn’t having any of it.  “Forbes took care of me down there,” she tells Deeks.  She was in over her head in the assignment.  Going through a divorce, Forbes still made her laugh.  Deeks is surprised by the divorce statement but Rhea tells him that Forbes’s ex called regularly and he’d have to spend hours calming her down.  Deeks tells Rhea Forbes was lying to her.  When Rhea doesn’t believe him, he asks about Forbes’s trip to the border.  She doesn’t have an answer.

Outside the wine shop, Kensi suggests trivia night.  She dated who loved trivia night but was so bad at it that he thought Borat was an element on the periodic table.  Fatima thinks that’s worse than the Eagles.  “Bite your tongue,” Eric chides Fatima on comms.  He sends a photo of Ellie Martinez, the owner of Highland Park Wine.  Martinez has a record including attempted kidnapping, domestic battery and wire fraud.  Charges were always dropped.  Kensi and Fatima watch Martinez take a delivery of several cases of wine.

As he finishes with Kensi and Fatima, Eric is startled by Callen and Sam.  Sam wants Eric to work on his situational awareness.  Nell use to work with him on that skill.  Eric isn’t able to trace the rental car – seems to be an off-the-books trip to Mexico.  Just before Callen and Sam leave, Eric’s tablet chirps.  The car Rhea saw idling outside of the comedy club belongs to a Perry Bellamy.  Bellamy doesn’t have a record but owns a lot of guns.  Callen thinks he’s a strawman -buys the guns and sends them to Vargas.  Bellamy’s real work is as a plumber.  Callen and Sam are off to see him.

Martinez is helping Kensi and Fatima find some wine for a fondue party neither wants to attend.  They say the party is for Forbes – who Martinez immediately does not recognize.  When she tries to leave, Kensi and Fatima take Martinez into custody.

During a downpour, Callen and Sam are staking out the plumbing company.  Chatting in the car, Callen admits Anna is the real estate fan.  Sam understands that living Anna’s unpredictable life, stability would be important.  Callen thinks Anna wants more – the whole American dream.  Callen and Sam see Bellamy, who think will run.  He does.  Sam corners Bellamy outside his truck.  A few swings of a big wrench by Bellamy does nothing to stop Sam from putting him in handcuffs.

Pretending not to know Vargas, Bellamy tries to sell himself as a plumber who comes from a long line of plumbers.  Callen warns Bellamy if he doesn’t start cooperating, he’s not going to be a plumber, he’s going to jail.  Claiming to know Vargas, Bellamy accuses him of stealing his car.  Bellamy was in business with Vargas until Vargas disappeared a few months ago.  

Showing up the day before, Vargas wanted guns but not the way he did in the past.  Nothing was being sent to Mexico, he was looking for enough for him and for his men.  Vargas told Bellamy he was in LA to get something back.  None of this makes sense to Sam.  If Vargas and Forbes were working together, why go to an old gun-running friend.  Callen looks at it differently – maybe Forbes took something from Vargas.  And Forbes won’t survive the minute he hands over whatever Vargas thought was taken.  The team has to find Forbes now.

While Rhea is not impressed by Kensi and Fatima’s interrogation techniques, Deeks is “still spiraling” according to Kensi by the restaurant review.  Rhea has some questions but Kensi, Deeks and Fatima discussing the case.  After paying her no mind, Rhea thinks Forbes took an informant.  While they were in Mexico, Forbes was responsible for securing an informant from Vargas’s camp.  Deeks is annoyed this is the first they’re hearing of it.  Rhea didn’t know the informant’s name and Forbes was still vetting the person.  When they left, Forbes felt badly they were leaving this person behind.  Deeks realizes that may have been the “ex-wife” on the calls.  Fatima knows that Martinez is holding out on them.  Wanting the team to “put on their best Judge Judy”, Rhea would like to see a tougher interrogation.

Using Kaleidoscope, Eric is able to trace Forbes trip to the border.  A security camera photo in a parking lot picks up Forbes with a woman in the front seat of his rental car.  Eric is running facial rec.  Highland Park Wine is two blocks from the parking lot.  Eric also has info on Bellamy’s car – it really was stolen.  Callen and Sam are on their way.

Martinez says she was a different woman when she was charged with kidnapping, domestic battery and wire fraud.  Kensi notes Martinez’s marriage ended when her troubles did – her former husband shows up in every one of her arrests but he was never officially charged.  Calling he ex a “son of a bitch”, Martinez’s ex was the city controller.  She was abused during their marriage.  When she tried to leave, she arrested on trumped up charges.  Women like her can’t get help.  

In today’s boat shed animal lesson (last done several years ago with racoons), Martinez tells Kensi and Fatima that crows remember the faces of those who hurt them.  They are smart enough to teach other crows about the abuser so the other crows won’t be hurt.  Martinez running an underground railroad to save women like her.  That’s why Forbes found her.  The woman Forbes rescued was Lorena Vargas.  She’s hiding in Angelino Heights.

Lorena Vargas is Andre Vargas’s wife.  Rhea is unhappy – Lorena risked her life to help the task force and they just left her behind.  Kensi and Fatima are on their way to the house.

Finding Bellamy’s car parked outside car repair shop, Callen and Sam look in.  Forbes is tied to a chair in the workshop.  Oh, time in a garage strapped to a chair did not go well for Sam or Deeks.  Callen knocks on the door.  One of Vargas’s men peers outside but sees no one.  When he walks around to look, Callen whistles, distracting the henchman.  Sam grabs the man from behind and puts him in a sleeper hold.

Callen enters the workshop to find Forbes and only Forbes, who is barely alive.  Without Vargas’s men around, Kensi and Fatima could be walking into an ambush.  Eric tracked Vargas and his men – they are five minutes from Kensi and Fatima’s location.  

Banging on the door, Kensi identifies herself and wants to be let in.  Callen and Sam are on their way in.  Lorena opens the door just as Vargas and three of his men arrive.  As Kensi tries to get Lorena way from the door, Vargas kicks it in.  Several shots are fired.   While Kensi and Lorena run, Fatima shoots one of Vargas’s men before being tossed around by another.  Just as the man knocks Fatima to the ground, he pulls out his weapon.  Before he can kill Fatima, Sam shoots him.  

In the back yard, Kensi and Lorena are about to run when one of Vargas’s men moves in.  While Kensi quickly takes him to the ground, Vargas grabs Lorena.  Sam and Fatima join Kensi as they try to get Vargas to release Lorena.  When he does, Callen tackles Vargas.  Kensi and Fatima calm Lorena.

Vargas and his men ransacked Ellie Martinez’s house and were able to figure out where the safe house was.  Forbes did not give up Lorena’s location.  Sam understands – when you love someone, you’d die before putting them in harm’s way.  Lorena Vargas will be protected by the government – everyone is calling it a day.

As Kensi and Fatima are hanging up the bulletproof vests and storing the big guns, Fatima tells Kensi she has plans.  She does – Fatima has plans with Kensi – Eagles tickets with backstage passes.  A thrilled Kensi is going to the Forum with Fatima.

Eric walks into a very busy Squid and Dagger worried that Deeks hired an experienced hacker to change the review.  Deeks is happy to report that “provocative and edgy” are not what everyone is looking for in a bar experience.  He and Eddie the bartender are working hard but Deeks wants to hear Eric’s speech.  

Eric admits he doesn’t have a feel for what he’s going to say.  With all the job offers he has coming in, he can’t remember why anyone would be interested in him.  When Eric tells Deeks he is going to stop overthinking it, Deeks tells him not too.  Eric’s secret power is overthinking things.  In the best way possible, Deeks finds Eric exhausting.  Eric cares too much about everything to ever let anything slide.  “It’s why I do what I do” – Eric finally has a reason for his speech.

Agent Castor is watching Rhea as Callen and Sam enter the boat shed.  Rhea is sorry she didn’t figure out what Forbes was doing.  While her job is still open in Key West, Rhea wants to return to stand-up.  Castor is even offered up as a lift for Rhea to the club.  He is not thrilled.  

While Sam is proud Callen is planning for his future, he’s skipping out on Callen’s offer for drinks.  He has dinner plans with Katherine at Blank.  Callen thinks Blank is like “fill in the blank”.

What head canon can be formed from here:  Anyone else think Eric is not going to be in the office when the show returns for season 12?  This seems to be a ton of foreshadowing that has to have a pay off at some point.

Kensi seems to be overcorrecting for what she feels she missed with Nell being unhappy by trying to make everything great for Fatima.  

Carla the bookstore lady, LAFD Chief Johnson and Ellen from the church are three of the four new Golden Girls – who says no?

Episode number:  Episode 21 – the penultimate episode of season 11.  Episode 261 overall.