#what if I said they’re kinda sapphic to me

[ashiistired]

Digital Sketchbook page 1 | Featuring Henrietta Maria, Lucy Hay (Countess of Carlisle) and a study of a 17th century mask on a stand

[beefboyandbabygirl]

Girl Code (18+)

pairing: student!jihoon x student!reader

genre: college au, angst, smut (MDNI), lotta crack, friends to...?

description: when you and your friends find out jihoon's been writing down everything you've off-handedly said about "girl code", you simply have to know why.

warnings: brief bondage/restraint, heavy insecurity on readers part, self-doubt, dirty talk, pet names, dom!uzi, sub!reader, desperation, oral (f. receiving), praise (f. receiving), muscly uzi, unprotected sex (dont do it guys....), pining, bad writing, red velvet are your friends, theyre super fun, mingyu is excluded badly, he just wants to b a part of it :(

quotes from my creative director (@joshibambi): "i am simply a hole for him", "pussy? wet. heart? pounding. me? yearning", "every1 talks ab sapphic yearning but what ab just. jihoon-yearning?",

wordcount: 12.0k

a/n: idk why but this is deffo not as good as my previous works. n e way also sorry to @onlyseokmins bc i promised her a seokmin fic WHICH IS STILL COMING i just felt like this was kinda genius and needed to happen first ok bye

It’s mid-spring, and the world is blossoming and flowering around you. Grass sprouts greener, plants drink in the heavy rainfall and flowers are blooming, slowly unfurling their pedaled heads to crane into the beautiful sky. At odds with nature, people walk the street to be drenched in the downpour, only to be dried off by the shyly peeking sun, and to have freckles surfacing on their skin and hair, getting frizzy from the humidity, when they’re biking along the streets. It’s serene, it’s natural. You’re reminded to love the place that birthed and fostered you. 

But that’s out there.

You’re sitting, bottom planted firmly on the sticky surface of Joshua Hong’s couch, looking distantly into artificially colored lights, flickering across the floor, where people are dancing on one another in skimpy outfits and makeup, and everything is very far from the moon and the flowers. 

“The second one is a lie!” Seulgi yells over the music, cup of god knows what in her hand, and slurring her words.

Sitting on the couch and stools surrounding the coffee table is you, Mingyu, Soonyoung, Seulgi, Irene, Yeri and Jihoon.

“No, I know she likes anal!” Screams Soonyoung giddily (forever oblivious to his surroundings), receiving a glare from your roommate, Yeri. You were currently playing two truths and one lie, and attempting to discern whether Yeri was lying about being on television, lying about having black belt in taekwondo or lying about having tried anal. “It’s about whether or not she’s tried it!” Irene rolls her eyes and huffs. “My point still stands,” Soonyoung grins and eyes Yeri, and you watch somewhat disgusted, reminding yourself to ask her about it later.

You’re sitting next to Mingyu, utterly small next to him, and the two of you are only watching the scene unfold, sharing snickering glances when something funny happens. “I’ve never done taekwondo!” Yeri screams at Soonyoung, and you and Mingyu fall back in your seats laughing and slapping each other, when Soonyoung’s face drops for a moment. 

“They’re so dumb!” Mingyu cries, and you nod buried in a decorative pillow. 

“Screw this noise, I’m finding Junhui,” Hoshi mumbles, a little deflated from his loss. Then he’s standing up, cargo-pants and all, and trudging away, pouting over his shoulder when he hears the laughing continue.

Jihoon - who’s been incredibly quiet and observant throughout the night, only sipping a single bottle of beer, slaps his thighs. You’re hoping in his ever searching eyes he hasn’t seen the way you’ve been staring at him all night. Are you drunk or is he so complex and sexy, and wearing a t-shirt that shows his huge arms and pants that show his thick thighs? You’re almost certain you can chalk this up to only ever seeing him in sweaters that totally swallow him - almost. “I’m going too,” he announces, standing up and not leaving much room for argument.

“Why? I’ll be the only guy,” Mingyu whines, pout pushing out his bottom lip. You scoff. You know he loves feeling like he’s one of the girls. “Paper,” Jihoon says, and adds more, when he realizes he’s being so curt it’s almost rude: “Tomorrow. I have a paper tomorrow.” 

The group seems to accept this, knowing the stresses of college are weighing on each of them heavily. But your eyes narrow. You’re not buying it. 

You watch him sling his jacket across his body, biting back more words. He’s quiet, sure, but never this quiet. With how he’d slumped back in his seat all night, almost bent into himself, there must be something bugging him. Jihoon’s eyes meet yours. It’s a half a second, but you feel like he knows you’re on to him, the way he hides his face under his long, black hair again and turns his back to you. All of a sudden he’s hurrying away, excusing himself half-heartedly. You narrow your eyes even further and purse your lips.

“Be right back,” you say. Seulgi pouts.

You’re trudging after him, fussing with your hair all of a sudden and adjusting your dress and - God, you care so much how he sees you. But you suppose you care more that he’s okay. That’s why you’re squeezing through the dancefloor, getting grinded on by several anonymous bodies, before pushing out to the entrance and finally breathing air that wasn't coming directly from someone else’s mouth. 

“Jihoon, wait-” 

You catch up to him by the doorway, where he’s stopped his journey, to slip Vernon a bill for a ziploc of mediocre weed.

“Jihoon!” 

Finally, he hears you and he turns to you, where you’re regaining your last leg from the mass of bodies. Vernon is apparently still sober enough (you wouldn’t have thought so) to understand time and place, so he gently pushes past the two of you into the crowd. 

You’re not ready for the look he gives you. Eyes so sharp and face darkened from his shaggy hair, curling into his face, and frowning and furrowing his brows as if he couldn’t understand why you’re here. 

It sends your out-reaching body slamming backwards. You’re shrinking away from him, eyes flitting downwards self-consciously. You consider your history with him for a moment, weighing it in a glass of vodka-cranberry. This is pathetic, you realize, and it feels terrible. You’re pathetic and desperate and clingy and why would you feel the need to ask him this.

And then one moment to the next you’re scolding yourself for thinking that way. For thinking it was wrong to reach out a helping hand.

Jihoon apparently has enough of you debating with the angel and the devil on your shoulder, because he speaks finally: “What is it?” 

There’s a pause.

“Are you okay?” 

Another pause. You watch Jihoon’s face soften in shock, mouth falling open for a split second, before he’s closing it again and looking away. The ziploc crunches in his fingers, when they tighten and he shoves it into his inner pocket. 

“I’m good,” he says.

“Okay.” 

And this time and even longer pause! You can barely take it, the way he looks at you, and it almost feels like he suspicious of you, like he’s trying to discern what you’re doing here in front of him.

“Have a good night,” you say. He nods slowly and begins to walk off, and you watch him and the way the moonlight fills the entrance, so you’re coated in for a moment. Then it disappears with a slam of the door. You let out a shaky sigh. 

Why did you do that? Why would you even think to do something like that? 

You decide against standing there for any longer, not allowing yourself to overanalyze it, and you turn around to go back to your friends. Yet again comes the song and dance of trying to navigate the most terrifying human cesspool, face scrunching up in disgust as you make your way back to the sofa, almost unscathed, except you think you accidentally got caught in an armpit. 

“Y/n! Come quick, so you can be a part of this momentous- momentous.. Moment!” You hear Mingyu calling and when he’s finally in view, you realize something very, very terrible is about to happen.

Mingyu’s holding a leather notebook between his fingers - Jihoon’s notebook. It’s the one he’s always writing in; the one he shuts closed whenever anyone gets too close, the one he keeps tucked under his arm at all times; the one he’s inexplicably writing in, even if he’s blasted on Vernon’s weed. And it’s private and he’s somehow forgotten it.

“We’re not opening it,” you say immediately, power-walking back to your spot in the couch. Mingyu snaps his head towards you, and he almost looks offended at that. “What do you mean we’re not opening it, of course we’re opening it!” 

“It could be private, Gyu!” You retort and Seulgi chimes from her spot on the couch: “I’m with Y/n.” 

“No, what? Fuck you guys! We’re seeing what’s in that notebook!-” Irene spits. “Thank you!” Mingyu says.

“Yeri, it’s up to you,” you say, eyeing your roommate sharply, as you sit down again. The entire group turns to her, fury behind their retinas, and she gulps, shrinking a little. 

“Me, I just…” she shrugs abashedly and trails off. There’s a moment where you think she’ll side with you and leave the poor boy alone. You have some semblance of faith in your friendship, and maybe, maybe she’ll back you-

“He’s a music major, it’s probably just angsty lyrics, now open!” 

“Yes!” Irene and Mingyu gloat, and despite wanting to respect his privacy, you scoot closer to Mingyu (he scoffs at you, but does not mention it further, as he is itching with curiosity). With a solemn, heaved sigh, as if about to unfurl the world’s grandest mysteries, Mingyu’s large hand flips the book open.

There’s no justified way to put word to the shock that follows this. The first page reads:

“Girl Code Rule #1

Guys should bring flowers on the first date. Either lilies, roses or tulips. Depends on vibe.”

There’s a confused silence - as much as silence as you can get from a bass-boosted room of drunk college students. 

“What?” Irene quacks in disappointment, leaning closer to read it again. “Why-.. Go to the next page.” And Mingyu does, turning over the page and the next couple of pages follow suit. 

“Girl Code Rule #2

Whoever offered the date pays for dinner. First date should always be dinner, ‘none of the bowling crap’.

Girl Code Rule #3

Guys are more attractive the more hygienic they are.

Girl Code Rule #4 

It’s an ick to wear skinny jeans. *Google what an ick is.”

They come one after another, each more confusing than the last, and it’s not until number 5, that the heavy, suffocating spread of realization begins blooming among you. Clarity - your minds open like leaves of a flower in spring.

“Girl Code Rule #5

The cinema on Attacca street is a nightmare and we hate them. Never go there.”

“That’s-” you begin.

“Us!” Yeri finishes, pointing her finger at the page but directing her eyes, wide and pupils small from shock, towards you. The group exchange gaping glances. It’s undeniable - the cinema thing is relating to an incident that had happened months prior. You refuse to go into detail, but it had gotten grim.

“These are all things we’ve said!” Seulgi snatches the book out of Mingyu’s hold, beginning to mindlessly scroll through the book with furrowed brows, etch growing deeper and deeper in outrage. 

“That’s- This is crazy. That’s so not cool!” You shriek and Yeri nods in agreement: “Girl code is for girls only!” 

There’s a general agreement on the outrageousness of this. That is, except for one big boy on the couch.

“I meaaaan,” Mingyu is looking a little sheepish sitting in the middle of you and Yeri and Seulgi and Irene. All eyes flit towards him, small and sharp. He’s talking slowly, lowly and carefully:  “You guys have to have said it out loud while he was there, so you weren’t exactly being discreet…” 

“Men don’t usually listen to women, we thought we were in the clear!” Irene hisses.

“No man has ever listened to me in my entire life,” Seulgi deadpans, looking at Mingyu from beyond the book. Mingyu throws his hands out, incidentally hitting Yeri in the face, and ignoring her pained groans when she falls back on the couch. “I listened. Just now. Check that off your list-” 

“Why is he writing this down..?” You mumble, seemingly the only one grasping the gravity of the situation (although maybe there is none? You can never tell when it’s with him) and it truly is such a mystery. Was he attempting to pry open the minds of women? You don’t exactly think he has trouble finding dates, so you’re left a little at a loss. 

“Let’s ask him-” Mingu says.

“He just left, dumbass,” Irene spits and you can tell she’s almost disgusted with herself for ever siding with him.

“Let’s ask him tomorrow, then, after class,” you say decidedly. 

“Ugh, don’t talk about tomorrow..” Yeri groans, and you can see the regret settling in because why do all the hot guys throw weeknight parties? “Y/n, can we go home?” she asks and you’re nodding immediately.

“Seul?” 

“Yep.” 

And in the span of just a couple of seconds, your entire friend group is packing up, Seulgi stuffing the book into her tote bag. Mingyu’s still sitting, much smaller when you’re standing over him, and when he has that almost starstruck look on his face. “I’m so glad I’m a part of this, guys.” 

“You’re not.” 

“You’re not.” 

“Yes, I am,” Mingyu counters, clearly thinking otherwise. He’s grinning stupidly. “Hey, wait, where are we confronting him tomorrow?” he calls out suddenly, but you’re already on your way out.

“GUYS! WHERE ARE WE MEETING?”  _____________________________

You, Yeri, Seulgi, and Irene sit side by side on the middle-back row in class, eyeing Jihoon from the peaks. It’s a quiet, morning class, and the teacher rambles on while the four of you glare down at him. Or at least they glare. You hope it’s not noticeable how there’s something softer in your eyes - something almost tender. He’s fidgeting a little. Maybe he feels the pairs of eyes on the back of his black-buried head or maybe he’s noticed the book is gone and he feels the consequences coming.

It was certainly a strange situation to tackle. Mingyu did have a point, if it was a private conversation, you certainly had not discussed it as such. And even then, was there a crime in what he was doing? You just couldn’t understand how Jihoon possibly felt the need to garner all this information on women. He’d never had trouble picking up girls. You would know.

You shake the terrible, terrible thought away, when Irene speaks up: “The coward is all nervous.” 

“Okay, let’s calm down. We can’t know he’s an evildoer, before we find out his true intentions.” Seulgi reasons, a hand soothing over Irene’s arm. Yeri nods softly. “God, I wish class was over.” 

And suddenly it was. Well, twenty more minutes of suffering through a class that was totally lost, picked up by the pollen-saturated wind. Then the professor is excusing himself and wiping the board. 

Never in your life had your group been so fast at packing up their things, pencils and computers shoved down bags, before you’re strutting (model-walking) over to Jihoon. “We need to talk to you,” Yeri says, once she’s in front of his desk, hand on the wood. Jihoon looks up from where he’s packing his bag, eyes peeking through the thick strands of hair. He nods. He knows. 

As you wait for students to exit the class (Minghao giving Jihoon a confused grimace, before he squeezes out), you study Jihoon. He’s still sitting, and you’re all towering over him. His pale skin is glowing in the light and he purses his lip and bounces his leg - God, his thick leg - in nervous await. 

Students are slipping out the door in droves and when the last, tired body escapes, Seulgi reaches into her bag and pulls out the leather-bound book. “We read it.” 

“I figured,” he mutters. He’s avoiding your eyes, flinching a little when Irene slams her hand onto the book. “So, why have you been writing down the girl code?” 

Jihoon sighs. His lips make a tight line, and you can see how he wonders what to say. The pause would’ve been more tense had you not had the girls with you. 

“The girl code is for girls only,” Yeri supplies. 

“Well, you weren’t exactly being discreet about it-”

“Just answer the question, Jihoon!” Seulgi snaps, crossing her arms over her chest. “This is, like, top-level strange.” 

“Alright!” Jihoon throws his hands up in the air. His eyes flit to you, totally quiet and scratching your nails on the wooden table. You look away. He sighs a little. “I… It’s..” 

You almost want to hug him when he buries his face in his hands, tugging at the ends of his hair. 

“You can’t tell anyone.” 

The four of you exchange glances.

“We won’t.” 

He pauses.

“It’s.. IhaveacrushonthisgirlandIdon’twanttomessitup.” 

There’s a beat, where the information glides cooly into your skulls and you begin to process. Jihoon - cold, cynical, loner Jihoon - has a crush on a girl and is trying to improve himself for her? 

Holy hell.

“Jihoon!” cries Seulgi and Irene chimes in, equally as adoring and diffused: “That’s so cute, you should’ve just said something!” 

There’s an uproar of coos and cries and oohs and ahhs and compliments being thrown at Jihoon and he just sits there, cheeks blazing bright red, although with a little, shy smile on his lips. 

And then there’s you. It’s so dumb. Why can’t you help the slight disappointment that lowers on you, like the fog does in the blooming season? Why can’t you smile wider, happier for Jihoon? Why do you feel this way? Does it really take all this commotion for you to realize how much you want him? You half-smile and look at your shoes. Just as how your feelings blossomed like a flower in spring, you hope they, too, are destined to wither away once more. 

“Congratulations,” you say to him, giving him a dignified nod. Jihoon looks at you for a moment, before he smiles tightly and thanks you.

“Jihoon!” Yeri says, and you know you’re about to hate her for what comes next: “We can totally help you with the crush!” 

Jihoon’s eyes widen. “Really? I mean- you guys don’t have to-” 

“No, no! You can come to our girls’ nights and we can tell you everything!” Irene cuts in, nodding in reassurance. Jihoon smiles to himself a little sheepishly.

“Who is it?” Seulgi asks, and you can tell her heart is triple its usual size.

“I’m not telling you.” 

“Come on!” Seulgi begs, but Jihoon is steadfast. He gives her cheeky smile and shakes his head again. “No way. It’s my secret.” 

“We can keep a secret!” Yeri begs, bending her knees in plea. You, unusually quiet, speak up again: “We can.” 

There’s a pause while Jihoon looks at you again. He narrows his eyes and it’s almost like he’s trying to decode you. Maybe he’s noticed you’re just as quiet as he was, at that party. You hate yourself when your heart picks up at the thought of him caring about you. 

Suddenly he’s snapping out of it and smiling and shaking his ruffled head of hair again. “No. If girl code was supposed to be a secret, then I don’t even wanna think about telling you.”

This time there’s no talkback, only somewhat embarrassed nods.

“We deserve that.”  _____________________________

You come back to your dorm room that afternoon, and lie down in bed. Thoughts of Jihoon plague your mind and you feel disease-ridden, attempting to push away the thought with the same useless reminder: You should do your paper, gotta do your paper now, it’s due very soon…

But no matter how many times you tell yourself, you can’t overcome the crushing feeling in your chest, like your entire rib cage is being compressed. 

You know when these emotions started. It was at the Halloween party, six months ago, and Jihoon had been wearing a cop-outfit and you, with a more humorous approach, a lobster costume (Mingyu was a chef). Somehow, he’d still found you sexy though, because he was laughing in the bathroom of Seungcheol’s frat house, ripping the costume off of you. 

“I can’t believe I’m gonna fuck a lobster,” he’d said in between kisses, laughing again as he caught sight of the costume, discarded on the floor. You giggled. “Me neither. There are plenty of fish in the sea, you know?” 

And he’d thrown his head back, still with that black hair, still in that sexy fucking uniform, and his nose all scrunched and adam’s apple bopping in time with his joyful laughter. “Stop making me laugh while I’m trying to get you wet!” 

“I’m already wet,” you’d shrugged, “you’re hot.” 

And before you knew it you were handcuffed and he was rutting into you against the sink. His cock was disappearing and reappearing from your pussy, hooked onto him like a vice. Groaning and listening to your withheld moans, he’d left the most sinful hickies along your shining neck, while mumbling desperate praises to you: “You’re so pretty, N/n, letting me have you like this, so fucking hot.” 

You supposed you’d buried those feelings, because you felt so pathetic for catching feelings from a one night stand.

And it is pathetic. And you are pathetic, and desperate, and alone, and God, is it even Jihoon, or is it the way it suddenly feels like no one wants you? 

“Stop that,” Yeri says suddenly, lying on her bed on the opposite side of your room. You tilt your tired eyes towards her. “What?” 

“I can hear you thinking. What’s up?” She said nonchalantly, dropping her phone, that she’d been mindlessly scrolling through. Cheeks bunched up on your pillow and mascara smudging under your eyes, you look at her and sigh.

“Just tired,” you hum. _____________________________

Jihoon has been adopted. For a whole week following that incident, suddenly, your friends are taking him with them everywhere, and your safe space is invaded by his hair, his laugh, and his subtle cologne. It’s him with you during movie nights, it’s him during girls’ nights, and it’s him while you’re getting ready for a bar-night, all sitting in Irene and Seulgi’s pink-tastic room, doing makeup on the floor and on the desks and on the bed. 

“I love your eye makeup,” Seulgi says to Yeri (it’s a pink number with glittery inner corners), under eyes totally covered in white powder, as she’s baking her makeup. Jihoon is sitting on the floor, hair tied up in two pigtails that Irene had given him. “Thank you, Seul.”

You’re doing your own makeup, working blush into your cheeks and trying not to look at him, the way he’s half-lying on the carpeted floor, looking absentmindedly into his phone. His thighs are huge, and he’s wearing gray sweatpants, and you think you’re going insane.

Irene (who’s done with her makeup before anyone else, always) looks up from her own phone. She narrows her eyes deviously. “Jihoon, what do you think of Yeri’s makeup?” 

Jihoon snaps his head up, pigtails bouncing. “Uh,” he looks a little lost, when he turns his head over to Yeri, who smiles sheepishly, not totally understanding what was happening. “It’s nice.” 

“Just nice?” Irene smirks, and Jihoon finally seems to catch on to the fact that this is some sort of test. Indeed it was, and you knew it from the moment Irene began to talk. Your eyes flit between them, sitting behind you in the mirror. “Can you elaborate on that?” Irene smirks.

“It’s…” Jihoon considers what to respond, almost nervous. “She looks better without makeup.”

“Son, no!”

“Never!”

“Absolutely not!” 

It’s a cacophony from the girls, even a pillow is thrown at his head, which he dodges in shock. “Never say that to a girl, Jihoon! It’s rude!” Irene lectures, a finger pointedly thrown in his direction. When he doesn’t seem to get it, Yeri explains: “Imagine spending time on something, only for someone to say they’d wish you hadn’t done it all.” 

Jihoon, who’s been bristling like a disturbed cat up until now, softens in understanding. “Oh. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, our child, you’re learning,” Irene says, face turning back to her phone, as she apparently has lost interest in the conversation. 

You watch quietly with a bemused smile, having paused your ministrations on your face, brush held in the air before you. Jihoon’s eyes flicker over to you, an unreadable expression on his face. You meet his eyes in the mirror, pitch black and blank. You look away quickly.

You can feel him, still looking at you, and you feel self-conscious at the way you crooken your back to better focus on your face. What’s he thinking? That you look ugly? That your back is ugly? Your makeup?

“Are you okay, Y/n?” 

You freeze. His voice is soft as ever, and you understand now, better than ever, why he’s a music major, because it’s so melodious and sweet in your ears. All eyes in the room snap to you and you eye them all in the mirror. “Yep.” 

Yeri sighs, exasperated. “She’s been depresso for, like, a week.” 

“I’ve been fine,” you correct, smudging out the pencil on your lid. “I’ve been fineeee,” Yeri mocks, making her voice nasally and high. You glare at her through the mirror, but all she does is stick her tongue out at you. 

“I’m just stressed out, okay? I've got a lot on my plate,” you mumble bitterly, and it’s true, because every time you’re trying to do assignments, papers, write notes and focus in class, you think of him, and how he doesn’t want you. And one wrong thing leads to another, and then you’re thinking about how no one wants you, and you haven’t had a boyfriend since you entered college. And then it’s something about how you look, or it’s something about how you are, as a person, and you just sit at your desk with this terrible feeling in you gut, trying not to cry, or hoping that your sniffles don’t overpower Replay by Shinee blasting in Yeri’s headphones, as she’s eating crackers in bed, just a few feet away from you. 

“Just talk to us if you need anything, okay?” Seulgi frowns and you smile at her, hoping it looks convincing. She nods at you, turning back to her handheld mirror. But alas one person stays staring at you. You avoid his eyes, trying not to look like you’re about to cry.

“I can arrange a spa day? We can get our toes done,” Irene asks, and she wiggles her toes in the air for emphasis. “Ooo, yes!” Yeri exclaims. 

Finally, Jihoon’s attention is ripped from you, wincing at the thought of another person handling his feet. “Can I skip out on that, maybe?” 

Irene scratches her chin, pretending to think about it. Then she says, bluntly and directly: “Nah.” 

_____________________________

“Let me come with you to the spa!” 

“No! Jihoon, walk faster,” like a mother, Seulgi is grabbing Jihoon’s wrist and dragging him further from the tall, huge man behind you. Mingyu is following you all like a dog, whining and crying, and pouting. “Please, guys! I don’t wanna go with Seungcheol and Jeonghan, they’re mean!” 

“Spa day is for girls only!” Yeri yells over her shoulder, as the five of you stumble away from Mingyu, crying out to you. “What about him?” Mingyu yells and points. 

“Don’t listen to him, sweetie,” Seulgi tells Jihoon and he nods very seriously. “He’s our adopted son! Now shoo!” 

Finally Mingyu gives up the chase, and you disappear behind the outerwall, beginning down a busy street towards Irene’s favorite spa. “I don’t get how you’re friends with that guy,” Irene says, elbowing you, and you both snicker. “He’s a pup,” you shrug.

The streets are filled with people, the sun is shining, and it’s spring, and everything should be great, because you’re with your friends. But he’s here too. Swallowed up by his hoodie, pitch black in a sea of colors, he’s still here and his very presence has you tense, and yearning for the touch of a masseuse. The streets that had grown so familiar, that you thought you had learnt and mastered, had become so foreign, and you’re trying to escape into yourself, trying to find a backdoor out of the constant blabbering, teaching Jihoon the importance of gossip and female communication and companionship. These are your friends. The sadness eventually musters into frustration.

Soon enough, you’re sighing so hard you think your soul escapes with it through your mouth. A spa-worker begins massaging your feet, and working her thumbs into your sore soles. Irene laughs at your reaction, two seats over. “Told you all you needed was a spa day!” she beams. Yeah, a spa day and maybe a new friend group that wouldn’t adopt the guy who you should certainly not be around!

And speaking of him, he’s sitting in the chair right next to yours, grimacing and flinching back from the disdained worker. 

“What are you gonna tell her?” Yeri quips, smiling at the end of the row. Jihoon takes a second to snap out of his constant flinching, looking over at her nervously. “Oh, uh…” 

The girls are all looking at him expectantly, but you’re squeezing your eyes shut and wishing your ears could shut too. 

“Probably, like.. ‘Hey, I like you, would you maybe wanna go out on a date sometime?” 

“Pssh!”

“Absolutely not!”

“As if!” 

Jihoon is a little flabbergasted.

“Here’s what you’re actually gonna say,” Seulgi leans over in her chair towards him, directing him with a finger in her armrest. You hear Jihoon scramble in his chair, and you know he’s taking out that stupid notebook again.

Seulgi lowers her voice to mimic his, when she talks again: “‘Hi, crush, how are you?’ Wait for her response… Then: ‘I’ve always thought you were very beautiful. Your very presence takes my breath away. I would like to take you on a date, would that be okay with you?’ And be suave about it.” 

“HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.”

Yeri and Irene burst into laughter, hitting the armrests of their chairs and covering their bright smiles with their hands. Even you snort in amusement. “What?!” Seulgi exclaims, outraged. “What’s so funny about that?” 

“Nothing, I just-...” Irene wafts herself, trying to ease away that tears of glee that spring in her eyes. “I can’t imagine any man, let alone our son, saying that to a woman.. Wow.” 

“It’s good! I would be flattered,” Seulgi defends herself viciously. Yeri snorts from her seat: “It’s not a drama, Seul!” 

“Well!” Seulgi scoffs, twisting her upper body to face Yeri now. “Maybe I would like my life to be a drama, thank you very much!” 

Their argument continues viciously, insults and laughter being thrown at each other left and right and you can almost begin to tune them own, letting the feeling of pads on your feet and a gentle, cool brush on the nail lure you to sleep.

Then there’s a hand on your forearm. You peek an eye open and see him - God, it just has to be him - leaning over his chair to gently grasp you. He looks at you through lashes, and he’s so sincere that it kills you when he says: “I can tell you’re not okay.” 

You’re a little taken aback, one second prior you were being lulled to sleep and now he’s talking to you, so low, so seriously, while the girls try to attack each other behind him. You wish your heart isn’t suddenly galloping, and you wish his warmth on your arm and radiating onto you isn’t so nauseating. “I-”

“Don't say you are, when you're not. You’re very obvious, you know?” he hums, smiling softly when he sees you flush from his intense gaze. You avert your eyes nervously. “Uhm. I just.. I don’t really want to talk about it, Hoon.” 

You flick your eyes back up to his to survey his reaction. His expression softens at the nickname, and he holds your gaze for a moment longer, before he nods in understanding, all the warmth of his closeness disappearing, when he sits back down in his seat.

“That’s okay,” he smiles at you in reassurance, and your heart leaps, and you can’t help but think that he doesn’t need anymore training to make his crush - whoever the lucky girl is - completely and totally happy for several lifetimes. 

He’s a beautiful, sun-beamed flower, where he sits, light flitting through the store-front windows. You’d be happy for several lifetimes. If only he wanted you. _____________________________

“What is going on?!” 

It’s Mingyu, and he’s somehow found you, as you’re trudging out of your latest class, suddenly hot on your trail and outraged about something or other. “What?” you mumble, heading to the cafe near the end of the hall.

“With Jihoon?! Why does he get to be your son when I don’t?!” Mingyu wafts his arms and pouts and you cringe, leaning away from his loud voice. “Ugh…” 

“I need to know why he was writing that girl code stuff, Y/n. Why is he suddenly allowed at girls’ nights, when I’ve been trying to get in for months?!” 

You take a turn into the cafe and sigh at how crowded it is, immediately placing yourself in line, Mingyu right behind you. “Calm down,” you say, just wanting a sandwich and maybe some peace and qui-

“I will not!” he snaps back, brows furrowed and a determined look on his face. You look up at him, pursing your lips in thought. Did Mingyu deserve to know? Maybe. He had been trying to get into girls’ nights forever, always going on about being ‘an honorary member’. 

“I’m not sure I can tell you- Hey, can I get a tuna sandwich, please?” You say, quickly turned to the clerk behind the counter. “I won’t tell anyone, pleaseee- Can you get me one of those too? Thanks.”

You’re handed your sandwiches, and you hold both of them, drifting over to a table by the window, both of Mingyu’s hands on your shoulders and his voice in your ear: “Please, please, please, pretty please with the sugar on top?”

You plop down in your seat, simply exasperated, and hand him his sandwich. He’s settling himself down when you answer: “Okay.”

“Yes!” Mingyu fists the air in victory, mumbling self-assured under his breath: “Begging always works.” You snort and take a big bite of your sandwich. 

“Stop eating and tell me!” he whines. “I’m hungry– Hey!” 

Mingyu snatches the sandwich right out of your hands and grins at you deviously, dancing with it. You hate him. You hate him, but it is a little endearing.

“Jihoon has a crush on some girl and he’s been writing down the girl code in an attempt to understand women,” you deadpan, and when Mingyu’s mouth and guard drops, you snatch your sandwich back and begin gulping down hungrily. 

“Are you shitting me?!” You shake your head.

“So, that's why he's allowed at girls’ night?” You nod your head. 

“So, that’s why you’ve been so down?” You almost choke on your food.

“What?” 

“Because you like him,” Mingyu says seriously and, with a totally stunned look on your face, you shark down the bits of sandwich in your mouth painfully. “How do you know that?!” you cry, head suddenly snapping in seventy different directions, relief washing over you, when none of your or Jihoon’s friends are around.

“Because you’ve been acting all weird around him since you fucked at Seungcheol’s Halloween party,” Mingyu shrugs. You wave your arms wildly.

“How do you know that?!” Whining, you throw yourself back in your seat, and bury your head in your hands. This couldn’t be happening. Your delicate secret, the one that could have - should have - simply faded away into summer, was now out and open, and you look out the window, and it’s spring.

“I know everything,” Mingu says ominously, giggling evilly.

“Mingyu, I will fucking kill you.”

“Fine! I needed to pee and you guys were super loud,” Mingyu pouts and takes a bite of his own sandwich. “No need to be so rude.” 

“I can’t believe you know,” you groan, head collapsing on the table. Mingyu, forever and always silly, finally softens and frowns. You’re scattered. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“No,” you say. Then, a moment later (in true Girl Code fashion) you’re lifting your head from the table and burying it in your hands: “I just. I don’t know, Mingyu. I feel so pathetic for liking him after a one night stand! And now he’s doing all this for another woman and he’s with us all the time…I haven’t had a boyfriend in college, Mingyu. I just feel so…” There’s a pause, when you’re trying to find the right word, and Mingyu stops breathing, looking at you and fearing the worst. Then comes the word, ripping itself from your lips:

“Unlovable.” 

Mingyu’s frown deepens. Big, puppy Mingyu who’s always silly and happy, just slumps in on himself. “You’re not unlovable,” he mumbles, sounding genuinely disbelieving. You scoff.

“Thanks, Mingyu, it’s just.. That’s how it feels,” you admit, running a hand through your hair and looking at your half-eaten sandwich on the table. Mingyu’s quiet for a moment. When he speaks up again, he’s determined, and you can discern almost immediately that there’s no escaping this plan. Or he’ll for God’s sake start begging again.

“I’m going to wingman you,” he’s nodding to himself, and you can see the plan falling into place in his head, “I’m gonna wingman you and set you up with my friend at the party on Saturday!” 

“Please, don’t,” you groan half-heartedly, but a piece of you brightens with hope, with summer, like maybe this was the thing you needed to get over your schoolgirl-crush on Jihoon.

“No,” Mingyu responds simply. “This is happening.”  _____________________________

Indeed, it is happening. 

The frat house is practically bumping with each beat of whatever pop song is playing over the speakers, and you lean into the rhythm that reverberates in the kitchen table beneath your fingers.

You somewhat wish that you hadn’t been as excited for this as you were, that you hadn’t spent hours picking out the perfect pink dress and doing your makeup, and that you aren’t hopelessly dependant on Mingyu (of all people) to find you a fuck. But you are. Putting on that dress and hoop earrings and doing your hair and declining Yeri’s invitation to the girls’ (and Jihoon’s) pre-party, you feel like you’re scrambling, like constantly falling through the air, flailing for something to ground yourself on. 

Now, scanning over the tinted lights and the dancing people and feeling the slight, warm buzz of vodka in your blood, you know you need this. And still, you combat that slight anxiety, the insecurity that you hadn’t felt in years - what if Mingyu couldn’t find a single guy that wanted you? 

Mingyu doesn’t seem worried though.

“Okay! We just gotta figure out who to set you up with. Take your pick,” he places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing and gauging your reaction. Your brows furrow as you shrug. Somehow, even when half the guys are objectively hot, you can’t say you find yourself drawn to any of them. You don’t linger on the feeling, fearful that maybe you’ll realize all the things they’re missing, the things they’re falling short of, are just Jihoon’s traits. “I don’t know, man. I just-..” 

Mingyu senses your struggle and elects to give you his excellent guidance. “Alright, well you could do Joshua?” He’s pointing somewhere in the crowd, and sure enough, you notice Joshua, majoring in communications or something like that. “He’s a star: total hottie, super smart, sweet and considerate, and-” 

“And he fucked Yeri,” you deadpan, head lolling over to look at Mingyu disapprovingly. Mingyu’s mouth falls open: “What?!”

“Yeah, like, two months ago!” you argue, wafting your hands. Mingyu’s mouth stays open, and he’s seemingly totally appalled by this. 

“What?! Okay- nevermind. How about him?” He points his long limbs again, and this time you notice- 

You narrow your eyes confusedly. Hopefully Mingyu was not trying to set you up with the biggest player in your year? “Jeonghan?!” 

“What? No, the guy beside him, dickwad,” he playfully smacks the side of your head as you refocus your eyes. Indeed, a blonde guy is standing next to Jeonghan, seemingly whining at him. “Who’s he?” 

“Lee Chan. Super sweet, great bod, a little dumb, but very doting-” 

“Is he a freshman?!” you cry, almost as if it were a crime. Mingyu huffs. “You’re not making this easy, you know?!” 

“I’m not dating or fucking a freshman,” you cross your arms and Mingyu senses the air of finality in your words. He sighs, slumping behind you for a moment, before he spots something across the room.

“Wonwoo! What about him?” he doesn’t even bother pointing at this point, simply tilts your head towards the man, who was currently talking to Seungcheol a little ways from the kitchen. You spot him. You suppose you’d always been a little curious about Wonwoo. From what you’d seen of him in passing, he was sweet and polite, absolutely gorgeous and extremely smart. You nod solemnly.

“I could- I could see that,” you say and Mingyu’s eyes light up. He bounces victoriously, punching the air. “He’s great, you’re- you’re gonna love him,” Mingyu delights and before you can even get another word in, Mingyu’s yelling across the room: “Hey, Wonwoo! Wonwoo, scootch over here!”  

Your eyes widen in shock. “Wha- we’re doing this now? Just, on the fly? No warning?” 

“It’s fine,” Mingyu waves you off, eyes trained on where Wonwoo is now walking towards you. 

“Do I look okay?” your voice is wavering nervously. You still can’t help how you feel, even in your dress and your makeup. Where had all your confidence gone? The confidence with which you’d literally fucked Jihoon in a lobster-costume? Even the thought of him stings. Mingyu’s confident facade falters for only a split second at the vulnerability in your tone. His gaze softens and he looks at you: “You look great, N/n. Calm down, Wonwoo’s super nice.” 

“Hey, Gyu,” Wonwoo’s voice is cool, as he approaches Mingyu. Standing in front of you and Mingyu, he briefly scans you, then acknowledges you with a nod and a sweet smile. “Wonwoo, hey, you know, I was just wondering if you’ve already done the history paper?” 

Wonwoo is unamused. “I’m not doing your paper again, Mingyu.” 

“Oh well, shucks, that’s simply too bad,” Mingyu (poorly) feigns annoyance and defeat, before he’s grabbing your shoulder. “Anyway, Wonwoo, have you met my very good friend, Y/n?” 

You fake a smile, hoping the absolute pain of the current interaction was not showing on your face. If you’d known Mingyu was this bad at wing-manning, you would’ve gladly put up with his begging instead. You want to crawl into a hole and die, because based on Wonwoo’s smug smile, he has a pretty good understanding of what’s happening.

“Whoops, look at the time!” Mingyu looks at his wrist. He is not wearing a watch. “Damn, I guess I gotta go and- and leave my two good friends alone with each other, such a shame, uh, anyway!” As he speaks he backs further and further from you, trying to ignore the glare in your eyes, before he’s bolting at his last word. 

There’s an awkward silence as soon as Mingyu’s gone. You feel like an unshelled turtle. You purse your lips and stare at your heel-clad feet. 

“So, Mingyu was trying to wingman you?” Wonwoo’s voice is deep and bemused. You look at him in horror, trying to think of a way to salvage the situation.

“Yeah,” your breathe, and he immediately begins laughing. “Sorry about that, he was- he was just trying to be helpful, although it’s hard to defend him right now.” 

“He’s wingmanned me before, too,” Wonwoo muses and, thank God, this was actually a good thing. You find a balance on the common ground. “Really?” you grin, looking up at him.

“Yep,” Wonwoo admits, “safe to say I did not get my dick wet.” 

You laugh hard, and it feels like a switch has flipped inside you, restarting your joy-generator, because you’re laughing and hitting Wonwoo’s arm, and he’s smiling because he’s just made a pretty girl laugh. 

“He’s so bad!” you say when you’re done laughing. “Everytime!” Wonwoo drawls, “Everytime he pulls that shit and he’s never wearing a watch!” 

You and Wonwoo laugh together, throwing (good-hearted) snarky comments about Mingyu around, and your cheeks are rosy and shining in the kitchen-light. Finally, party still bumpin’ and pumpin’ in the near distance, your laughter dies down and you’re both half-leaning against the counter. Wonwoo looks down at you with a smug smile. 

“What?” you ask, growing insecure again under his gaze. He hums.

“So you asked for me?” 

“Hm?” 

“When Mingyu was wingmanning you,” Wonwoo reminded you, tilting his head. “You asked for me?” 

“I-” you stutter, and your heart clenches nervously, because if things had been right, if things were different at least, you would have asked for Jihoon. It’s this gut-punching guilt. It feels wrong to use him, Wonwoo, to overcome Jihoon. “He was laying down my options.” 

“Options?” Wonwoo quips, brow raised questioningly, but he doesn’t interrogate further. Instead, he leans his head down, so he’s much, much closer to you, breathing hitting your face when he whispers: “But you wanted to fuck me. Isn’t that right?” 

You gulp. His presence is almost suffocating. Avoiding his eyes, you flicker them onto the dancefloor, where- 

Where Jihoon is storming out of the house. 

You squeeze your eyes shut - something Wonwoo thinks is out of embarrassment, from the question he’s just asked you - and try to refocus on Wonwoo. Try to ignore how the thoughts about Jihoon come bubbling in your head. It was probably something with his crush. You want to do nothing more than comfort him, hold him, steal away every bad thought he may ever have. 

You open your eyes, hoping that somehow seeing Wonwoo’s face would fill you with a need for him - him, and not Jihoon - but seeing him in the low lighting only serves as a reminder that Wonwoo is not him. 

“I’m- I’m so sorry, Wonwoo. I gotta go. I’m really, really sorry-” you say suddenly, and immediately you’re scurrying towards the door. Wonwoo frowns, eyes following you in your path. “Did I- Did I make you uncomfortable?” 

“No, you were hot!” you say absent-mindedly, before you’re disappearing into the entrance, and then further along, out the door.

Wonwoo stands alone at the counter, still somewhat leaned towards your ghost in front of him, and shakes his head in confusion. “What the fuck?”  _____________________________

“Jihoon?” 

You exit just in time to see him, stomping on the other side of the road, armless denim jacket wafting in the wind. It’s spring, just warm enough that you’re not freezing, but still cold enough that you curl your arms around yourself. Your hair blows gently. It smells distantly like flowers. 

He turns around at your voice. When he does, you know your suspicions were right. He looks so defeated. His gorgeous long hair, that usually only makes you clench your thighs together, is limp and drags him downwards. His arms hang similarly at his sides, fists clenched at the bottom, causing veins to ripple along the forearms. He stands just below a street light, spot-lighted, as if on a stage.

“Leave me alone!” he yells out to you across the road, voice breaking halfway. This does nothing to dampen his demeanor - this tough front, this anger he suddenly carries. You still in the grass beside the road, looking at him pleadingly. He can’t hold your gaze.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, Jihoon,” you begin, choosing your words carefully. “But I can just.. Support you. You don’t have to be alone right now.” 

This almost seems to piss him off more, clenching his jaw, sharply defined by the harsh shadows, and steering his head away from you, like a sunflower following the sun in the sky. It hurts your heart. The way he almost seems angry with you. And yet again you’re made to feel pathetic for following him out here. Like you’re on your knees and he’s standing there in front of you, spitting on you. Why does it hurt so much? You almost wish you’d stayed with Wonwoo - that you’d followed him to his room and let him fuck you and pretended you weren’t thinking about him the entire time.

“Shouldn’t you go back inside?” he’s prickling with hostility. “You seemed like you were having a good time.”

“Jihoon,” you say breathlessly. “None of us is having a good time if you’re not.” 

Whatever cog you unturned, whatever screw you unscrewed, Jihoon’s tightly wound posture unwinds, and he softens and withers before you, one hand clamping over his eyes. You take this as a sign to move towards him, heels clicking on the asphalt warning him of your advance. It’s deadly quiet, save for the heartbeat of the frat house behind you.

“I’m sorry,” he says, finally lowering his hand and looking at you. You smile sympathetically, relief flooding you, when he lets you gently place a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.” 

The two of you begin to walk in silence, and you recognize it as the path that leads back to the dormitory. It’s calm, steps becoming rhythmic and breeze easing your muscles with its cool touch. You study his face as it’s lit and unlit by the systemic presence of street lights. You’re able to put your own feelings aside for him, to be a martyr, and to sacrifice yourself to comfort him. It feels like cutting your own throat to talk to him about another woman, a woman he loves, truly, but you know it must be done.

“So,” you muster finally. “What happened in there?” 

He scoffs bitterly, looking at the pavement underneath his shoes. You frown. “Nothing happened.” 

“Nothing?” you repeat, a little confused.

“I didn’t tell her.” 

“Oh.” 

You’re honestly not the best comforter, you realize, cringing and hoping you’re not making it worse by talking to him about it. You see the faint outline of the dormitory at the end of the street. 

“Why not?” you quip quietly. His mouth makes a tight line. He breathes out shakily, and you fear you’re riling him up again by asking further.

“She was talking to some other guy,” Jihoon says, eyes flitting to yours before immediately ducking back to the pavement. You furrow your brows. Could it be you? That thought nurtures the spring garden in your stomach, the one you’d been trying to kill. But the insecurity that had come with it, and with him, only manages to squander that light.

“I’m sorry that happened,” you say softly, hand finding his arm, but he pulls it away from you immediately. Ouch. 

“Yeah,” he chuckles without humor. 

Finally, you decide to just shut up, to stop pushing him when he’s so vulnerable, but this time it’s Jihoon who doesn’t stop speaking. “You know,” he begins and again he’s laughing, but you can tell it’s only a cheap plaster for the pain in his voice, “I’d memorized that- that confession thing Seulgi made. And I followed all the- the style advice and the-” his voice breaks and he hisses at how pathetic it sounds. “Everything. I did everything,” he summarizes finally and when you look you see orbs of tears forming at his waterline, like the dew drops that sparkle on leaves in spring. 

You don’t know what to say. It’s almost too hard to see him like this. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, but Jihoon shakes his head.

“Stop saying that,” his voice is harsher, groggier, thick and stained by the sobs in his throat. You pause your steps. You’re standing in the yard outside the dormitory now. Hundreds of windows become an audience to where you now stand before each other. 

“Why?” you ask. 

“Because-” he wipes the tears away aggressively, composing himself before he finally, finally looks at you. “Because you’re gonna make me think that you actually care.” His voice is suddenly laced with venom again. The hostility that you’d tamed returns and it’s so much stronger, more bitter. You’re taken aback.

“I-I do care? Why do you think I don’t care-” 

“Oh, please, Y/n. You didn’t want me at your girls’ nights or at spa day or fucking whatever. You didn’t- You don’t care about my book or my crush or my-” 

“I do care!” you interrupt, voice stern and much louder. “What, you think I follow you out of parties for fun? Because I don’t care about you? And yeah, maybe I didn’t want you at the girls’ nights, but what does that matter-” 

“It matters because!–” he stops himself in his tracks, hand coming out to halt you. “Fuck it, wait here,” he orders, and suddenly he is trudging into the darkness of the courtyard. You stand still, flabbergasted, and thoroughly confused. It’s so dark you can’t even see what he’s doing, only hear him in the dirt, silhouette blending into the shadows. Then, he’s walking back to you and you finally see him. 

There are flowers in his hands. 

It’s a makeshift bouquet, held tightly in between his veiny, pale hands, consisting of flowers that grow in the courtyard, red, yellow and lilac. It’s a slow-burning realization as he stands himself before you, looking into your eyes with a sincerity that is laced with pain. You know this part of the girl code. 

“Hi, Y/n, how are you?” he breathes, and his voice is shaking and he’s looking at you and practically begging you to play along - to indulge him, even if you would turn your back on him. You can hardly register anything but him and those flowers, because your surroundings, the moon, the stars, the shadows and the streets are overpowered by the blooming in your chest. A single flower unfurls the pedals of your heart until you are open before him. You meet his eyes.

“I’m good.” 

He nods. 

“I’ve always thought you were very beautiful,” it almost seems like it physically pains him to admit these breathless feelings. “Your very presence takes my breath away. I would like to take you on a date,” another pained, gulping pause. “Would that be okay with you?”

It’s as if time has stopped in this moment; how his chest rises and falls under his shirt, how his hair gently nuzzles his face, how his eyes blear out at you from underneath his bangs, how he glows in the moonlight, and how his hands shake around the stems of the flowers. 

“Was I..” his voice is hoarse, “Was I suave about it?” 

“Yes,” is all you can manage, because all those flowers that you had stomped into a half-death were coming alive again and this time it was more than welcome.

“Yes?” 

“Yes, you can take me on a date,” you break into a wide smile and, upon realizing you probably look like an idiot, you lower your gaze and your warm, shining cheeks to the pavement. He gasps, and it’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever heard.

“But- you and Wonwoo-?” 

“Do you wanna know why I was even talking to Wonwoo?” you ask, and when you meet his eyes again, he’s also smiling. You can’t help but reach out a hand to wrap around one of his, still frozen in holding the flowers. He quickly maneuvers the bouquet to the other hand and intertwines your fingers. Your heart soars. “Mingyu found out that I was sad because you had a crush on someone - I didn’t think it was me, you know? So he promised to wingman me at this party.” 

“Son of a bitch,” Jihoon whispers, and you laugh, feeling so floaty and lovely. “Don’t call him that,” you say, but Jihoon only smiles cheekily, eyes matching the crescent moon in the sky above you.

“No, I meant me,” he says. He looks down at the flowers and frowns. “Is that why you were so quiet? On girls night?” 

You nod and he sighs. “I’m such an idiot.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re so sweet,” you say genuinely, and Jihoon nearly melts at how much you mean it. There’s something so wonderful about the way all the words, that he would never use to describe himself, float around your head and sparkle in your eyes in this moment, looking up at him.

Jihoon needs to kiss you.  He’s not sure he’s ever needed anything as badly. He rips his free hand from yours only to place it tenderly against your cheek, pulling your face and your warmth into him, bouquet held out at his side to allow you snugly in his chest. 

His lips are so soft and his nose nuzzles your own, plush hair tickling your forehead, and his huffed out breaths dance along your cheeks. Your lips mod perfectly, unlocking the shackles with which that earth-shattering yearning had held onto you. The world is anguish but will momentarily and suddenly be interrupted,  cleaved apart with a sudden gash, by a planet-killer: love. 

You truly don’t mean to make it heated, hell, you’d be content just kissing him forever, feeling how his tongue prods at your lips and meets your own, but his sculpted chest under your fingers draws out a pathetic moan. His eyebrows spring up and he pulls back to look at you. You blush under his gaze, fiddling with your dress.

“Holy fuck, that was so fucking hot,” he gasps, lips swollen from your insistent sucking on them, panting into the night air. You brighten at his compliment. “Inside. Now. To my room.” 

“You know, girl code says to not have sex before on the third date,” you say smugly, unprepared when his free hand pushes you back into his chest, and his lips drag over half of your face, finding home at your ear. His voice is a growl: “Fuck. Girl code.” 

He begins a somewhat dramatic march to the front door and you can’t help but run after him, taking his hand, and seeing how he smiles at that feeling. He looks so happy. Your heart skips a beat, because it’s you - you’re the one making him so happy. 

And he’s so hot, it’s all you can think about as he drags you along the corridors, how nice his arms look in the sleeves denim, how pretty his hair is, his fucking face, and the chest you just barely felt under your fingertips. You’re watching doors pass in a monotonous routine, jittery and unable to wait for the one that might be his, for him to take you through it, and for you to bloom, totally and perfectly under him.

“Fucking finally,” he breathes, voice gruff and much lower than you’re used to when he stops at his door, fishing for his keys in his pocket. It enters the lock and with a click, everything you fantasized about is opening to you. 

As soon as you’re inside, he’s kicking the door shut and pushing you against the wall, nails gripping into your dress, when he finally drops the makeshift bouquet on his nightstand. He cries out into your mouth at the way your chest bounces from the impact, immediately capturing your lips in his again. 

You can’t help the way you’re tugging at his hair, trying to ground yourself in the feeling of him, when he shoves a thigh between your legs. You moan into his mouth, rutting into him, while his wandering hands pull your skirt up you to pool around your waist. He pulls back to look at you, how your hips cant into his strong, big thigh, and how your pink, lacey panties cling to your wet pussy. 

“Off,” he mumbles, apparently having decided that the simple tugging of the fabric of your dress won’t be enough. You turn around in a daze, not even uttering a word, simply shoving the zipper at the back of it. 

Jihoon groans, he has to, seeing the way you stick out your ass to him, while your hand lay flat on the wall. You shake your hips teasingly at him, and his hands float to your ass, petting it and squeezing it in his fingers, and biting his lips because it looks so fucking good and plump, and there’s a wet spot in your panties. He grabs your hips and rubs his dick into you. You gasp at the feeling, nails scratching against the wall.

“You make me so hard, baby,” he says breathlessly, unable to help himself humping against you, pre-cum spilling from his tip. “Shit,” he grunts, and you’re squeezing your eyes closed at the outline of his dick pressing into your pussy. 

Finally Jihoon collects himself and his cold hands drag the zipper down. The top of your dress loosens and slides down your shoulders, where Jihoon aids you in slipping it off. His hands spin you around, finally taking a breath to marvel your bare chest in front of him. 

You blush, suddenly so bashful, when just before you were wiggling your ass at him. You curl your arms over your chest, but Jihoon’s own come to stop them. “No, no, no, no,” he tuts, almost sad, “why are you doing that?” 

You don’t answer immediately, but apparently it’s not a rhetorical question. His hands intertwine with yours to prevent you from covering yourself up. “Uh, I don’t know,” you stammer sheepishly, “I don’t wanna, like, kill the mood or any-” 

“You’re not killing the mood, pretty,” Jihoon whispers so, so achingly sincere and your heart hurts. 

“Sorry, it was just-” 

“Don’t say sorry,” he lectures, interrupting again. He tilts his head and he looks at you with a flaming intensity. “Try again.” 

You pause, flustered out of your mind.

“I-I’ve just been feeling a little insecure lately, I guess,” you say and you’re positive your face is beet-red, but if it is Jihoon says nothing, only pouts and releases one hand only to direct your eyes back to his with a hand on your chin. 

“You’re so beautiful, Y/n,” he says and even when you seek it out, you can’t find even the slightest hint of lying in his voice. “I want to show you, but I can’t do that if you cover up. Understand?” 

You nod, lips breaking into a little smile, that his heart becomes hot like the spring-sunshine. “Okay,” you say and he smiles brightly, releasing your chin from between his fingers. 

He guides you onto the bed, but it’s no longer heated and rushed, it’s so soft and gentle, and he pulls off your underwear only after you whisper in agreement, and then he lowers himself into it, again, only allowing himself the pleasure when you whisper a strained yes and nod vigorously. 

He fully makes out with your pussy - his lips are wrapped around your clit, licking and sucking it, and fucking moaning into it, sending vibration straight to the coil in your stomach. You’re moaning so loud, broken cries bouncing off the walls, while your finger wrap into his hair and your legs thrash. His tongue flattens against your folds, then dips down to trail around your slit. 

“Jihoon!” you cry, hips bucking into his mouth. He groans again, releasing your pussy with a soft pop. “Fuck, baby, keep saying my name like that.” And then his face disappears in your pussy again.

And you do, everytime his nips and gums on your sensitive folds, tongue trailing back up to your nub to fully envelop it. He sucks, hard. And you think you might cum the second you look at him, because the image of his full head of hair buried in between your legs and lapping like a starved man is so pornographic, your head spins.

He might go insane from just the taste of you, he realizes, because even when you cry that you’re cumming, and your legs shake around his head and your pussy is soaked with your cum, he can’t bring himself to pull away, strong arms wrapping around stomach to still you as you begin to wiggle from the feeling of his tongue just continuing to lap at you.

“Jihoon! Fuck, t-too much,” you whimper and the sound shoots straight to his cock. He finally pulls away, eyes still trained on your pretty cunt, and the way it clenches around nothing. “Clenching so hard, sweetheart, only for there to be nothing, shouldn’t we fix that?” he hums, leaning down to trail his finger through your folds, gathering your wetness on its tip.

You whimper uncertainly, when he crawls back over your body, hair tickling your face when hovers just above you and he shushes your pathetic squeaks. He pushes the wet finger into your mouth and you suck obediently. “Shh, baby, just taste yourself on my finger, how can you be insecure with a pussy like that, hm?” 

You cry around his single digit, tongue sliding over it eagerly. He wants to fuck your face, the way your pretty, plump lips wrap around his finger, but he’ll save that for another time. “Shh, baby, I know. You’ll be stuffed full of cock soon, don’t worry,” he rasps soothingly, and slips his drenched finger from your mouth. 

Finally, he rips the denim jacket off, white tee following soon after, and you’re left, mouth gaping, at the how toned his stomach is, how big his pecs are and how fucking thick his arms are at his side. 

“You’re so fucking hoot, Hoonie,” you drawl, making grabby hands to urge him back to you. He smiles at those words, even gains a small dusting of pink on his cheeks, but he shakes his head. “Gotta get my pants off, baby.” 

“Hurry up,” you grin playfully, and he scoffs at you from where he stands, pants and boxers coming off in one fell swoop. “So needy,” he mumbles to himself, but you can tell by the overjoyed expression on his face, that he’s enjoying this just as much as you are. 

His cock is finally freed, and your eyes float to it, drinking in the sight of him. He’s so pretty and so red, and a single vein creeps up its curved surface towards the oozing head. You gulp, eyes sparkling. 

“Wan’ it in my mouth,” you mumble, where you’re now half sitting up and glowing from your first orgasm. Jihoon looks at you and laughs, as he climbs on top of you again. 

His face hovers over yours, finger carding through your hair tenderly. He looks in your eyes. “Yeah?” he asks.

“Yeah.” 

He coos at you, eyes flickering to your lips for a moment, and you feel his cock twitch where it rests heavily on your stomach. “Not right now, pretty, I wanna fuck you.” 

“You don’t have to cum-” you reason, mouth practically watering at the thought of having him in your mouth. He stops you though, hand still brushing through your hair, so delicately, as if you were a lily, or a rose, or a tulip.

“I’m not gonna be able to hold back if you look at me like that with my fucking cock in your mouth,” he whispers, and it’s so intimate, despite being so vulgar. How warm you both are, naked and holding onto each other and his dick is oozing onto your stomach and your pussy is leaking onto his sheets. “Like that,” Jihoon emphasizes, when you look up at him adoringly. You smile. 

“Okay,” you say, a determined look on your face, “later then.” 

He laughs. “Eager baby. Relax, you’re gonna get a pussy full of cock now, your mouth can wait.” 

You wanna retort, say something snarky, anything, but you’re abruptly interrupted by the feeling of his cock pushing into you. You moan and your nails claw at his back, because it’s so big and so raw in your pussy, you feel that fucking vein dragging against your walls. “Shit, Hoonie. Fuck, fuck.” 

He’s groaning too, hands on your waist and face in your neck. “So fucking tight, so pretty.” 

You’re both panting when his cock is fully nestled inside you, sitting snug against your walls. You look up at him and he’s pretty, all flushed and lips swollen, and the sight makes you clench. He hisses, jerking abruptly, making the both of you moan. 

“Fuck, baby, can’t just clench on me like tha-” 

“Please, please, just fuck me now, can’t wait anymore!” you cry, clawing at him, nails raking over his flexed biceps, where he holds onto you. And he can’t help but fulfill your wish.

You honestly don’t know where he gets his stamina, because the second you’re done asking, he’s ramming into you so hard and so fast, your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open in a long whine. The whole bed is shaking from the impact, as his hips sheath and unsheath from your warm, welcoming pussy. 

“God, you’re so fucking perfect,” he drawls, hands trailing up from your waist to your bouncing chest, thumbing over your nipples. “Bet Wonwoo wishes he got to see you like this, hm?” 

The way your pussy has his cock in a chokehold, the way you’re lying beneath, it has him fully dazed, and now he babbles all that comes to mind. “Yeah, but you’re mine, princess. No one else gets to see you like this, no one else can have you crying like this for their cock, right?” 

“N-No one else,” you whimper, sopping cunt clenching and unclenching around his dick. “That’s right,” he pants, humid breath on your cheek, “Say you’re mine, pretty girl, say you’re fucking mine.” 

“A-ah, ‘m yours, Hoonie,” you cry and he thinks he might cum just like that, at your blissed face, glowing beneath him, and your pussy sucking him in, and you obeying him thoughtlessly. 

“Good girl, good fucking girl,” he rewards you by dragging his hand down your stomach to rub your clit. Your whole body convulses into his, hands dragging over his big arms for support. “Come on, sweetheart, cum on my cock now.” 

And you do, the tension in your stomach tightening beyond what you can take, before it finally unfurls, and it blooms, and it’s spring, and your squirting all over Jihoon’s abs, because God, he’s so fucking hot and he fucks you silly with his dumb, big muscles and his dumb, cute face.

The sight of your squirting, thrashing and shaking underneath him is all he needs. Jihoon shoots you full of his cum, making you feel so full and wet, before he finally halts his rutting hips, stilling on top of you. 

You’re both panting. You’re sweating so much, your hair sticks to your forehead, and you’re gasping for air. Jihoon is still on top of you, holding himself up somehow, and licking at your neck appreciatively. 

There’s a pause, where you’re basking in each other's warmth, and there’s so much love between you it’s almost suffocating. Then you're narrowing your eyes at the head of hair in your neck, growing suspicious. 

“... Are you still hard?” 

He laughs into your neck, peering up at you with a sheepish smile.

“Are you still open to that dick-sucking thing?” _____________________________

“So,” Yeri trails off.

You’re sitting in front of her, Seulgi and Irene at the campus cafe after a thorough round of congratulating you and Jihoon’s new relationship. They’d been both surprised and somehow not-at-all-surprised. 

“He can’t come to girls night anymore,” Irene states the obvious, and immediately you, Seulgi and Yeri are nodding along. 

“Thank God, I wasn’t the only one thinking that.” 

“It just wouldn’t work,” you supply, agreeing. 

There’s a pause. Seulgi pouts. “I can’t believe we don’t have a son anymore. They grow up so fast,” she says and she sounds genuinely sad about it.

You sigh a little, debating whether or not to play this card. Then you say: “I know someone who would like to be our son.” 

“Oh, no..”

“Don’t say..” 

“Yep,” you shrug, and then you hear him. Lumbering clumsily down the hall, like a galloping horse. 

“I HEAR THERE’S A NEW POSITION OPEN DURING GIRLS NIGHTS!!!!! I MADE MUFFINS!!”

Mingu is running through the cafe, dodging stools and chairs like he’s on Ninja Warrior. 

Irene frowns. “I guess he’ll do as our new son.” 

“We can always kick him out if he gets too annoying,” Yeri shrugs, just in time for Mingyu to stand before your table with a fresh tray of muffins. 

“Yes!” he cries with glee, voice incredibly high because he just can’t believe it.

“Begging always works!”

[catgirl-dee]

Hi so I wrote some horny NSFW mistress/bodyguard/maid AU fiction using my OCs and I decided that this fits the vibes of my Tumblr. Oh yeah and it's 3266 words btw so more after the cut

horny stuff: everyone is trans and sapphic, polyamorous, (kinda) cnc, light bondage, groping, lots of making out, edging, orgasm denial, begging, penetration (oral, pussy, ass), eating out/fingering pussy, cuddles

A knock sounded at Autumn’s door. “Come in,” she says, looking up from her desk.

The door opens to admit three new people. Autumn stood up from the desk to greet them.

“We’re the bodyguard and maids that Miss Asta hired. She said to report here.”

“Miss Asta”, or Autumn's mom, is often away on business trips. For her upcoming month-long stay on the east coast, she had decided that she should staff the house. Additionally, some secret company events made her hire bodyguards for herself and her daughter. Autumn repeated to her that she’s in college and doesn’t need a babysitter anymore. But here they are.

Autumn pauses to size up the one who spoke first. She’s tall, with clearly defined muscles and beautiful dark brown skin. She’s dressed in a tie, button-up white shirt, crisp suit, and pants. Even her short hair says tough and formal. At the moment, she looks a little unsure right now under Autumn’s scrutinizing gaze.

Autumn smiles warmly. “I’m Autumn, it’s nice to meet you. What are your names?”

“I’m Vivian,” the first one says, bowing.

“Lilac,” the smaller maid says.

“And I’m Cadence, they/she. Miss Asta assured me that my pronouns are fine.” Both of the maids curtsy. Autumn nodded reassuringly, indicating that their pronouns wouldn’t be a problem.

Autumn observes the two maids next. They’re both dressed in stereotypical cute maid dresses. Lilac is short and has long straight black hair gathered in a high ponytail. Autumn can tell she’s attached to Cadence and a little nervous.

Cadence is closer to Autumn’s height. Her short curly brown hair and minimal makeup gives the impression of androgyny. They carry themselves with an air of confidence.

They’re all so cute. Maybe Autumn could get used to this. She moves over and sits down on her bed. “Please, have a seat. It’s too awkward when you stand in the doorway like that.” She casually pats the bed.

Autumn takes in the mixture of emotions on their faces. Vivian looks a little caught off guard, with another emotion Autumn couldn’t quite read—curiosity? Her professional demeanor is tough, sadly. Lilac and Cadence look various parts confused and unsure. They all sit in the beanbag chairs near the bed, and Autumn does her best to hide her disappointment.

Vivian, with all the professionalism she could muster while sinking into a purple beanbag, says, “Miss Asta told me to be around you 24/7. Wherever you go, I go.”

“That’s okay, this bed is big enough for both of us,” Autumn replies. “Though, how does that work when I need the bathroom?”

To her delight, the mask slips for a second, but Vivian quickly recovers, though she can’t quite get the blush off of her face. “I have a cot that I’ll set up on the floor, and I’ll be stationed outside any bathroom or stall you’re in.” Still, Autumn noticed the look in her eye. Vivian is clearly looking at Autumn in a certain way. Maybe it has something to do with her old tank top and shorts that she wore because she didn’t expect anyone to see her like this, or maybe it’s the way she’s lazily sprawled on the bed.

“Oh, that won’t do. I’d hate for you to be uncomfortable while you sleep. Trust me, it’ll be fine. Plus, you’re supposed to be by my side at all times, right?” She makes a fake look of innocence before turning to the maids, not giving Vivian a chance to respond. “And you, dears? I do have this extra bed that I can clear the plushies off of. I’ve been using it as a sofa, since it’s so comfy.”

Lilac only blushes and tries to stammer something, but Cadence is faster. “Thank you, miss.” They seem to have picked up on how to respond based on Autumn’s interaction with Vivian. A quick learner.

“Well, I feel like going out for an early dinner. Lilac, Cadence, won’t you come with us?”

“Oh, well we have a lot to do around here. We should stay,” says Lilac.

Autumn rolls her eyes. “I know you’ve probably been running around all day already. You deserve a break.” She rises from the bed, sorting through her wardrobe of dresses. The maids take this as a signal to wait outside, but Vivian seems unsure what to do. Autumn just pulls off her top, getting a good reaction from Vivian as she quickly turns and heads for the door.

“What’s the matter, dear? You’re supposed to be with me at all times, remember?” She pulls her shorts off too.

“It’s just… you’re changing, and I—”

“It’s okay, don't worry. Plus, we’re both girls, right? Not a big deal. Oh, can you help me with the zipper on this? It’s always a pain to reach myself.”

Autumn’s back is turned to Vivian, but she can see her red face in one of the mirrors to the side. Vivian quickly zips up the dress, then gets even more flustered as Autumn takes her hand and leads her out of the room. As she does, Autumn traces a finger on Vivian’s shorter index and middle nails, causing Vivian to look away in embarrassment.

At the restaurant, Vivian had insisted on sitting next to Autumn to better protect her. Though maybe there were other motives in that decision, as Autumn is very aware of Vivian’s eyes on her as she makes small talk with everyone. She did choose this dress on purpose, after all, and the revealing sleeveless nature of it seemed to be working. Even Lilac and occasionally Cadence stole glaces when they thought they could get away with it.

“Is there something wrong?” Autumn asks suddenly.

“Miss Autumn?” Vivian sounds concerned, looking around. Good, she’s still thinking of her job.

“No, it’s just that you three keep looking at me like there’s something on my face or chest. Did I get crumbs stuck there?” She leans forward as she does, causing her breasts to wiggle slightly and giving them a better view of her cleavage.

Oh, she’s really enjoying teasing them. Vivian mumbles something that sounds like “Nothing”, and suddenly becomes focused on scanning the room. Lilac has the cutest deer-in-the-headlights stare, and Cadence is suddenly absorbed with their salad.

“You three have been acting off for a bit now,” she continues. “If there’s an issue with me, I’d like to hear it. I really don’t want to come off as strict and overbearing, and I want to treat you like people. So tell me what’s on your mind.”

Vivian speaks first. “I—well, it’s slightly embarrassing. And I’d rather tell you in private…”

Autumn laughs to herself. This girl loves speaking up and making her situation worse. “But you all are giving me the same look, so you must have similar issues. Can you share with everyone? They may have the same problem.”

Vivian turns slightly red, before stammering, “We’re in public…”

“I happened to choose a booth meant to make it harder for others to hear without visibly approaching our table. The restaurant made these for important, more private conversations. Now speak your mind, dear bodyguard.”

Vivian swallows. “But it still feels wrong to say it here…”

Cadence comes to her rescue. “Forgive me for speaking out of turn, miss, but we could save it until we’re back at home if she really doesn’t feel comfortable.”

“Alright. And with me, there’s no such thing as ‘speaking out of turn’. Please, I’m so tired of that formal and emotionless bullshit. I don't mean to be harsh, but I've heard too much of it.”

“Yes, miss,” Cadence nods their head. She’s still being formal, but Autumn lets it slide. She moves on to a fun story about one of her cats who manages to get everywhere he shouldn’t be, causing mass havoc as cats do.

Back in her room, Autumn stretches. “I want to go for my usual nighttime swim,” she says, picking out the smallest bikini she has. Even the maids are too curious to leave without being told this time. Autumn deftly slips out of her dress, then starts stripping off her undergarments. She pretends not to hear a small eep come from Lilac while slipping the bikini on.

When she’s finished, she turns back to Vivian.  “Hmm, maybe it’s easier if we talk here first.” She reclines on the bed. “Sit.” She pats the bed again, and to her satisfaction, they all sit on the edge of the bed. “So what did you want to talk about?” She playfully pops up in between Vivian and Lilac, batting Vivian’s tie and adjusting the bow on Lilac’s back.

“It’s really embarrassing,” Vivian begins.

“Do go on,” Autumn encourages. She begins to lightly touch Vivian’s biceps, feeling how toned they are.

“What are you doing?” Her voice is suddenly a lot more unsteady.

“I’m examining my bodyguard’s muscles, of course. I need to feel that you're strong and capable. Now please continue.” At the same time, she takes Lilac’s hand in a gentle caress, causing the girl to shiver all over. Cadence almost immediately steals Lilac’s attention by squishing up against her and getting more risky with where they touch, so Autumn returns her attention to Vivian’s sexy muscles.

“Promise you won’t be weirded out or think less of me.”

“I promise, Viv. Now spill.” Autumn traces her hand up to Vivian’s neck, making her shudder a bit in excitement.

“Well, um, I just wanted to say something about you, is that all right…?”

Autumn grabs Vivian’s face in her hands. “Vivian, I order you to stop beating around the bush. What is it?”

“You’re—” she pauses, but manages to find the resolve to continue, “—beautiful and sexy and hot and—”

Autumn steals a glance at the maids, but their faces are a few inches apart, and she decides to let them be. “Oh, so direct. Good girl. Now, I do have to ask, why?” She presses closer to Vivian, her bikini against Vivian’s back.

Suddenly, Vivian spins, grabbing Autumn and forcing her back on the bed. Straddling her, Vivian mutters, “You want me to prove how strong I am? Well, you’ve been teasing us all day with your body and your words, and I can’t handle you anymore.” At this turn of events, the maids stop eating each other’s faces and crawl over to watch the show.

Autumn experimentally tries to move, but her hands are pinned down by an iron grip, and her lower half is immobilized from Vivian’s weight. “Now, that’s more like it, sugar.”

Vivian makes a sound somewhere between a groan and sigh. “See, this is what I mean. You’re completely helpless right now, and yet you’re such a tease. You’ve practically been begging for this to happen.” She moves Autumn’s hands over her head, easily slipping off her bikini. Then she notices how delighted Autumn’s face is, and tries a different strategy.

“Cadence, dear?” she says softly. “Do you know where any good rope is around here?” Cadence grins mischievously and opens Autumn’s cabinet, unearthing a couple coils from her underwear drawer.

“How did—” Autumn starts, but Cadence just giggles.

“It’s my job!” They toss the rope to Vivian, who expertly ties Autumn’s wrists above her head and to the headboard. Then Vivian turns away from Autumn while still straddling her.

“Good girl,” Vivian croons to Cadence. “Come here.” Cadence does, flushing, and Vivian grabs their face and pulls them in for a kiss. Cadence leans into it further with a whimper.

Lilac, watching the show with Autumn, gives a small sigh. Without letting up on the kiss, Vivian pulls Lilac in too and reaches down the collar of her maid dress, grabbing her breasts, and Lilac lets out a small surprised gasp of pleasure.

Autumn has no choice but to watch as they all make out and grasp each other on top of her. She tries to rub herself against Vivian’s knee, but Vivian ignores her for a while in favor of sticking her tongue down Lilac’s throat.

After what feels like forever, Vivian breaks a kiss with a very hazy-eyed Lilac to look down at Autumn, and Autumn can’t help but make a small sound, somewhere between satisfaction and fear.

“Oh, Autumn, is there something you want?” Vivian smiles sweetly. She dramatically trails her gaze down Autumn's body. “You’re soaking your bikini, dear.”

Autumn whimpers, silently pleading with her. Vivian’s grin only widens at the sound. “Honey, you should use your words. I can’t understand your little animal noises, as cute as they might be.”

Burning bright red, her freckles quickly disappearing, Autumn tries to swallow her pride. “Please, Viv. I want you. Take me.”

“Oh, sweetie, that isn’t enough. Be more specific.” To the side, Autumn notices Cadence and Lilac stripping each other and gets even more wet and slightly frustrated.

She summons all the authority she can, given her predicament, and firmly says, “Vivian, I order you to pleasure me and take me right now.” She does her best to squirm and yank at her bonds, but the rope holds fast and Vivian is heavy.

Unfortunately, Vivian is completely unfazed. She bends over, breasts a few inches from Autumn’s, and murmurs, “Do you really think you’re in any position to be giving orders here? I’m in charge here. Honestly, I’m your mistress, not the other way around. And I’m ordering you to describe exactly what you want.”

Once again, Autumn is turned on by Vivian’s words. Which only makes it even more annoying that she’s being denied. And to top it all off, the maids are being incredibly noisy next to her.

“Viv—” she pauses, but manages to completely throw pride out the window. “Mistress, I want you to force yourself on me and use my body like a pretty toy. I want to feel you inside me and know that I'm yours. I want you to have your way with me, and I want to enjoy every second of it.”

“That was so hot,” Cadence whispers, giggling, before the loud smacking sounds return and Lilac groans again.

Vivian pauses for an agonizingly long time, giving Autumn a look like she's considering her prey, before smiling again, to Autumn’s relief. “I suppose that will have to do. Now do you see how irritating your teasing is? How much easier it is to submit to me?” Her tone is still slightly playful, like she enjoyed the teasing a bit.

Cadence is on top of Lilac now, but they still find the time to stick their fingers in Autumn’s mouth. Autumn can clearly feel Cadence’s thrusts through their fingers as well as the bed. Lilac’s face screams complete bliss as Cadence sloppily kisses her and fucks her in her ass violently.

A slap across the cheek makes her yelp and bite down on the fingers in her mouth, and Cadence shivers in pleasure. “Attention on me, princess,” Vivian orders. She deftly slips the stained bikini bottom off Autumn, dropping it and the bikini top across her eyes. With sight taken away, Autumn’s even more aware of the sensation of Vivian caressing her nipples and leaving bites across her body. She’s distinctly aware of Lilac’s orgasm chasing Cadence’s. She can feel Lilac’s breath as she pants near her ear. Then she can’t hold her voice in anymore as Vivian begins sucking and biting her breast, and she moans softly. She can sense Vivian grinning in approval somehow, and is rewarded as Vivian slowly makes her way down her stomach.

The activity from the maids slows and stops after they both orgasm one last time. Soon, Cadence takes their fingers out of Autumn’s mouth and starts climbing over her, dragging their tip across her body and leaving a line of cum. From the other side, she can feel Lilac cuddle up against her, slowly and gently rutting against her hip.

Now Vivian reaches Autumn’s pussy, and gives one last kiss to her clit, before starting to gently lick. She continues to lick and kiss Autumn’s clit until Autumn is on the brink of an orgasm and then stops, leaving Autumn to melt into a pleading puddle, desperate for relief.

Cadence gently caresses Autumn’s chin, but it carries a certain weight of command. Guessing, Autumn opens her mouth and is rewarded with a coo of “Good girl” in her ear. Cadence moves again, removing the bikini still over Autumn’s eyes and replacing it with their ass. Then they slip their dick in Autumn’s mouth. The taste of both of her maid’s juices makes Autumn want to suck and lick more, which seems to please Cadence as they start making delicious moaning sounds. This pushes Autumn closer to orgasm again, but she can’t quite reach the sweet release she desires.

Soon, Vivian seems to decide that Autumn has suffered enough. Autumn can hear her open the bottle of lube and verbally expresses excitement as best she can with Cadence’s cock still in her mouth. Vivian finishes with the lube and easily lifts Autumn’s butt a few inches off the bed, bringing Autumn closer to her hips. She teasingly traces Autumn’s anus with her tip before slowly sliding in, then roughly grabs Autumn’s hips to shove all the way in. Autumn groans cutely at the feeling of being filled up by her bodyguard. Then Vivian starts to move, and Autumn clenches, speeding once again towards an orgasm. At the same time, Vivian immediately stuffs not one but two fingers in her pussy, causing her to nearly pass out from the sensation.

Autumn’s dimly aware of Vivian saying something, then senses Lilac moving down the bed towards Vivian. “Good girl,” Vivian whispers in between breaths. Lilac’s whimper in response sounds like heaven itself. Then even more angelic noises occur, and Autumn is left to her imagination as to what is happening there. Her best guess is Vivian toying with Lilac’s tits and probably more sloppy kissing to match.

Cadence lets out an almost primal groan as they finish straight into Autumn’s mouth. Still panting, they lean down to Autumn, forcing her mouth closed and getting her to swallow. A few moments later, Vivian also cums, pushing Autumn over the edge too. Then the room is mostly silent, everyone panting, before Vivian goes for another round.

Several hours later, all their energy spent, the four lie in a tangled pile on the bed. Vivian spoons Autumn as Cadence spoons Lilac, and the two little spoons cuddle.

“Thank you all, that was amazing,” Autumn says, shivering a little at the memory.

“I hope I didn’t overstep or anything,” Vivian mumbles into Autumn’s hair.

“No, it was perfect. Let’s do that more often.”

Cadence says, “But of course. We’re your maids after all, we’re here to service you. Though Lilac here does enjoy being serviced instead.” At this, Lilac blushes and squirms, eliciting giggles from the other three.

“Anything for you, my Autumn,” Vivian says in a sultry voice, caressing Autumn’s cheek and easily making her into just as a flustered mess as Lilac.

“I hate that work kinda gets in the way, but can we be girlfriends?” Autumn asks tentatively.

The maids nod, but Vivian, still using her extremely hot tone, says, “You’re going to have to beg for it like a good girl.”

Autumn pouts for a few seconds before Vivian starts laughing. “Of course, Autumn. I just can’t help but tease you. We can all date if that’s what you want.”

Autumn sighs contentedly before kissing each of her girlfriends sweetly and drifting off to sleep in their arms.

[chronicsyd]

Yk… I feel like people have become So used to like TikTok doom-scrolling feeding their limited attention span and having most sapphic rep be TV-Y7 shows (She-ra, TOH, TLOK, etc.) that when they’re faced with a TV-14 show where they actually have to Pay Attention to little things like facial expressions over words instead of having constant exposition shoved in their face they don’t like it.

And this is not me saying you can’t be an adult and watch a TV-Y7 show, but you Do have to keep in mind that the shows target demographic Is younger viewers so they have to utilize stuff like exposition so younger viewers can easily understand it. And those shows have pretty black and white morals “Horde = Bad” “Princess Alliance = Good” all that fun stuff.

But Arcane isn’t like that, it makes you think deeper about what’s actually being told to you and I’ve had to do a couple rewatches myself to pick up on stuff I hadn’t noticed the first time. And putting those same black and white morals to the characters like these really does the show a disservice.

(I also think the "oh I don't like oppressor x oppressed" complaint to be Incredibly stupid because you could slap that onto practically Anything. Heterosexual relationships/Hetero-passing relationships? that's oppressor x oppressed because of men over women. Mixed relationships involving any white person? that's Definity oppressor x oppressed. Relationships involving a cis and trans person? yup oppressor x oppressed again. Reducing characters down purely to their socioeconomic status and occupation and ignoring all the nuance, complexity and logic of them and their actions frustrate the hell out of me because they refuse to think deeper than that.)

And I'd RATHER Caitlyn Show she's remorseful and changing through her Actions rather than a sob session of "I'm sorrys'" (Also, LAST time Caitlyn merely said words to Vi ("I won't"), her actions didn't reflect those words, so why would Vi trust a simple "I'm sorry" now? Not to mention we already got that "I'm sorry" plot beat when it came to Jayce and Viktor back in S1 with Jayce doing stuff like setting the Bridge Blockade (and No one wants to bring up the "oppressor x oppressed" thing when talking about Jayvik despite it being the same dynamic...))

(Let's also address that Vi never said "I'm sorry" to Jinx for joining the Enforcers. No, the "I'm sorry" in Ep 3 wasn't for That it was an "I'm sorry for what's about to happen" because they Both know that there's a high possibility that Jinx might be dead at the end of this fight, and I know this because Vi becomes defensive in Ep 5 when Jinx brings it up. Vi doesn't say "I'm sorry" for hitting Isha either (btw if you say Vi saw Jinx care for Isha as a "I'm a bad sister" then you just lack basic media literacy all together). Jinx never says "I'm sorry" for all the fucked up shit she does like kidnapping Caitlyn and forcing Vi to kill her. Also, Vi AND Caitlyn come up with the plan to take out Silco loyalists, Shimmer and Jinx so why the hell does Caitlyn have to apologize for that? Caitlyn admits that forcing Vi to take the badge was the wrong thing to do and gives an explanation as to why she wanted Vi to join her as an Enforcer, because Caitlyn's worry of "one of us comes back in a box" IS justified)

(I also think the time jumps have fooled the audience, because they feel that Caitlyn's scene with Ambessa in ep 4 is "a complete 180" when you have to keep in mind that Caitlyn's been watching how her actions have affected those in these 6 months that we haven't really been seeing her on screen; we see bits of her during the "Paint the Town Blue" montage and Even Then you see her damn near crying in one of those still shots and looking so exhausted and over it in another. Once again part of that "Arcane wanting you to use your brain to connect those dots instead of the show doing For you but the audience refuses to do so" kinda stuff.)

Also, do people need to go through their Own trauma, grief and anger in order to understand Caitlyn's actions/motivations? because it's kinda starting to look that way. Caitlyn wasn't maliciously manipulating Vi with the kiss and the "I won't" statement because when going through emotions like this, Caitlyn doesn't have the time to reflect on those actions and see how she is changing, it's more of a hope that she isn't changing in the way that Vi doesn't want her to (you have to remember that S1 Ep4-S2 Ep3 happens within the span of like a week, maybe two at the most; Caitlyn's not being given time to stop or think about what's she's doing or what's going on, she's merely going through the motions in a sense. So by the time we pick up Ep 4 and there's been months of shit happening under her watch, she's had Time to be like "I don't want to be this, I hate this and the person I've become in all this".)

(I mean we can have Another discussion of how a lot of hate is just performative activism. One of the reasons I Like Caitlyn so much is because she shows that even with good morals, someone from privilege can easily fall down that rabbit hole. Because that's happened to myself before. Despite being lesbian and mentally disabled I still come from certain privilege, while I don't come from aristocratic wealth, I still lived a life better than most and just being a white woman that also gives me privilege and I've had to do my own reflecting on how my thoughts and actions can affect others simply from that privilege; which is what Caitlyn's able to do herself over the course of the season, which it seems that none of these haters are able to grasp)

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 41

chapter 62:

1. petition to abolish the games, if not for their lack of morals, do it for james potter

2. regulus fussing over james >>>>>>>>>>>

3. 😳 fiancé discussion

4. “There's a war on, and James wants to plan his wedding.” oh no. oh no. oh no. he’s so me fr

5. omg not reg wanting to see sirius and projecting that onto james 😭😭😭

6. they’re having a sleepover and i’m going feral over it

7. i’m not really mad at alice for all they’re saying, but i don’t think james deserves to hear it like this, or even be treated this way over frank’s death. they all knew the risk. frank made a decision, knowing the risk. james should not have to feel that eternal guilt

8. okay i’m kinda mad at alice, but i don’t really blame her per se. she’s grieving and is saying hurtful things she might not otherwise say. but it doesn’t make what she said okay. this is all so complicated

9. wolfstar deserves peace. give them peace istg. sirius doesn’t deserve these nightmares

10. *untraumatizes your blorbo* FUCK IT BACKFIRED! HE HAS MORE TRAUMA NOW

11. “"Fucking hell," Sirius hisses, clattering into the open chair next to Remus with an aggrieved air to him, eyes bulging as he drops his plate on the table. "I just had three different people corner me in the line to fucking flirt with me. Nevermind that I'm less than two weeks out of fucking Azkaban or anything, and when I mentioned that, they started, like, cooing at me. One of them offered to give me fucking sponge bath."

"What?" Remus' head whips around. "Who?"”

yo, those people should be scared. remus is in protective mode

12. the reason tension is so fucking high in the phoenix is probably because there are no fucking celebrations or events

13. i love how the gang is together, laughing and joking 😊😊

14. remus is a genius and i love him for putting the peices together about vanity and vespa

15. going insane over vanity’s impact in winning

chapter 63:

1. the districts are immune!!!

2. dorlene having sex after a mission is so them

3. “”I want to die with your head between my legs."” REAL

4. i am unamused 😐 dorcas and marlene should Not be discussing their after-war plans and what they’ll be doing when they’re old

5. “Two bodies and one heart” used to describe lily and remus has me in PIECES

6. mary and lily getting to have sex (that actually means something to lily) >>>>>>>>>>

7. also i’m so glad that sapphic sex was written to be that soft, intimate, and beautiful. especially with a trans woman. i feel like i never see sex scenes with trans women that aren’t completely fetishized

8. reading a jegulus fight has me feeling like an eight year old that walked in on mommy and daddy yelling over finances

9. 😭😭😭😭 not barty further spreading rumors about him being james and reg’s whores. this is so funny y’all

10. also not james teasing reg about having baby names picked out, only to reveal that reg literally has baby names picked out

11. demisexual sirius having a complex relationship with sex and desire (all the asexual part and all the very very horny parts) is literally my favorite thing in the world. i have never seen an demisexual character so similar to myself as him.

12. 😭😭 not remus cumming in his pants just cause he was slammed into a wall lmao

[blacklegsanjiii]

Rest in peace Perona her efforts will not be in vain… she’s having the formative sapphic experience of Definitely flirting with someone but them being too oblivious to ever pick it up so they’re just stuck in a friendship hole.

And the boys with Zoro 😭 they’re not doing any better . They miss their brother…!

Though thinking about it with what you said about not really believing in soul marks in regards to Zoro and zosan being implied to be soulmates, I feel like if that ever came up they’d tear him a new one . Zoro is entirely decked out in threes. The swords, the earrings, he prefers doing things in sets of three (new thing he didn’t know about himself that the brothers point out to him actually) , so is their three just not good enough for him??? Huh ???

Though also that leads me to ask. How are zosan in this au? I imagine they’re kinda turbulent in their usual way, but it would be fun to know more 👁️

- Wine

THIS IS SO LONG WINE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??

(thank you this is very fun)

Perona will never be forgotten! Mihawk will also make sure she knows her failures are not her fault, but that it is quite funny to see her fail. Perona argues that it's easier for him and Sora just because they have soulmarks. Sora then tells them about their first meeting and that it was a whole event and she's surprised the guards didn't kill him. Mihawk argues that he would have just kidnapped her then and there and killed the guards if they wouldn't release him. Sora just frowning at him with crossed arms. Mihawk stares back and points out it was an entirely valid option.

Where as 124ji miss their brother and whine about not being able to talk to him or get any updates on him for two years. They look at the hilts and braids on Zoro's swords and think of their brother and his mark. They ask Zoro about his mark and he shrugs and shows them. It's a school of all different types of fish in the bluest blue they've seen but it's on his back. They ask if they know who his soulmate is because they know. They can tell who it is but Zoro has no clue and doesn't care really. So they don't tell him. When Mihawk finds out he asks Zoro why he thinks denying himself will make him stronger at some point during their training together. Zoro says he wants to focus on fulfilling his dream and making sure Luffy becomes the king of the pirates. Mihawk sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose and points out he didn't get become the greatest until he was in his thirties, after he saved Sora and started raising all the kids. Zoro shrugs and says that doesn't know what that has to do with him and Mihawk says it's a waste to ignore the power of having something to protect, that having that person, that family draws a strength greater than just wanting to be the the greatest.

Zoro shrugs and 124ji bemoan their brother going through soulmate rejection because they remember the rose colored view of soulmates Sanji had. Zoro looks at them with confusion and Niji says they were right about it when they were younger. Zoro asks what they mean and they point out the three swords, three earrings, that he does do things in three so what is about Sanji that he doesn't like so he rejects his soulmate. Zoro is staring at them. Because they're clearly fed up and they're talking about how they were right when they were younger about his soulmate not loving him as much as they do. Zoro argues he's never even seen the cook's soulmark and Mihawk chides his sons to be quiet. Zoro didn't want to know or be held back by his soulmate after all.

Zoro of course is thinking back to the cook asking him about soulmates in Cocoyashi after they saved Nami and her village and what he told the cook who nodded and stayed quiet. The agression and snide remarks. Of course it had to be the cook. Zoro always found Sanji when the blond got lost in the woods and always tailored food to him. So now Zoro, who's kinda been a dick to his soulmate for months and he's staying with his family and planning to kill his dad. The blond who has been telling people he knows his soulmate but they're not together, won't ever be together. The blond who sometimes gets a faraway look in his eye before going back to give his all to care for the crew.

Also like Sanji has to absolutely have game if Zoro "rejected" him. With all the flirting he was doing as a teen hoping to find his soulmate he has gotta have so much fucking game. So Zoro is with Mihawk and Sora and their kids and Perona as he running through the gambit of emotions of what happened up until Sabaody and he just looks like when Perona hit him with a ghost on Thriller Bark. Perona is yelling at Zoro that he's been so fucking dum and not cute because only he could reject his soulmate who is a one way ticket to Mihawk.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

I got recommended a video about how a character from a show I’ve never seen from the 00s was gay. I thought ”sounds fun” and started watching it.

The one making the video was very clear that these were just her headcanons and that everyone can have their own interpretations and ”everyone just take a deep breath”

Well this did not help. People in the comments still wrote stuff like ”Uh no she’s not gay. She was literally in love with a boy”, ”She’s not gay stop acting everyone is gay when they’re not”, ”The writers never intended for her to be gay you’re just making shit up she felt FRIENDSHIP FEELINGS for her”

And honestly… Some of these need to calm the fuck down. Like.

It’s not that deep 😭

Anyway what this reminded me of was how, especially when talking about shows from the 00s, or earlier than that, if you feel a queer vibe with a character that explicitly isn’t, sometimes it feels… like you’re ”overstepping” if you say something. Especially if the shows aired before you were old enough to watch them, so you didn’t see them until later. Then it feels like you’re some kid coming up with ”wrong” interpretations when the fans from when the show came out sit and judge you. I felt this about the show Daria, where I felt like both Daria and Jane were a little sapphic. But many older fans are very clear ”they are straight, they are the straightest as can be”, and then it feels like I’m some silly gen z:er just interpreting things wrong, feeling the wrong ”vibes”.

I also feel this about some shows I myself grew up with. There’s a kids show where I realized a character gave me kinda lesbian vibes… But if I ever said this, then people would be like ”no!!!!!! She clearly liked -boy-! And she had a boyfriend!! Stop making people gay when they aren’t 😡😤”

But why do people react like this? Well, homophobia would be the easiest answer, but it’s more complicated than that. People in the LGBTQ+ community can react like this too. ”I’m queer myself and I agree not everything has to be gay!”

First I think, when it comes to older shows, is nostalgia. If you grew up with a show being certain a character is straight, to hear from someone that they think a character isn’t, you may feel like you wanna defend the nostalgic lense you got. It can be pretty hard to change opinions about characters when you’ve had them for a long time. This is also why when rewatching shows and for example realizing a character is more toxic than you remember, you much easier try to defend it because you still love them so much and you wanna keep that rose tinted memory of them. But when it comes to sexuality headcanons, it can feel more ridiculous.

It’s also ships. Let’s say you’ve shipped a girl with a boy for the longest time, and then someone says ”I think this girl is a lesbian”. Her being a lesbian would mean that… she can’t be with the boy you shipped her with!!!!! And it looks like people agree she’s a lesbian!!! No!! You need to inform people she’s actually straight!

Most of these people also have a hard time just accepting bisexuality, too. ”Uh no, they were never interested in anyone of the same gender anyway they only like the opposite gender. Watch the show and see for yourself”.

It’s also people who just… Don’t understand headcanons, nor that it’s about fictional characters. The people can say it in the video, but they don’t listen. To them, having a sexuality headcanon on a fictional character is like having one on a real person. And you shouldn’t go around ”making up” stuff about people!

Some people aren’t much in fandom spaces either, especially when watching a youtube video about some show they liked when they were younger. So for them, they aren’t in that fandom headspace where they see headcanons. They only believe what is explicitly said in the show, or what the creators have said. If the creators haven’t said anything? Why believe that was the intention? It wasn’t the intention, and thus you should not believe it was gay!

Some people just want to go from canon! And not go outside that!

In the end, I think the reactions people have from someone's sexuality headcanons is just so... silly. But I guess for people who aren't in fandom spaces and who just encounter a video about a show they used to watch, suddenly they get confused because that didn't happen?? Why do you think that??? And they don't listen to the person in the video when they clearly say "calm down, it's just my headcanons and it's just a fictional character". They still NEED to point out that actually this bothers them for some reason... and they have nothing against gays, it's just, this characters ISN'T that, and the person in the video should KNOW THAT. THEY ARE WRONG.

I do think people even react stronger when someone says they headcanon a character as asexual... that is for some reason REALLY TRIGGERING...?

The thing is... someone's headcanon rarely affects canon. It just affects their view of the character, but if someone headcanons a character as gay when they ended up with the opposite gender in canon... then guess what, you can still just rely on canon, and ignore someone else's headcanon. But apparently it is important for you to tell them that they can't headcanon the character as gay, because that is not what happened in canon. Canon shows them straight. Why can't you just accept that, and not make up stuff? I don't care that it's a headcanon and you're one person on the internet who views characters differently than me, I still need to tell you that I don't like it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ijustreallylikepirates]

TOMJAKE E2 !!!!

-GABBELLIE

-miss girl snoring 😭🙏🏻

-HAHAHA BRO REALLY SAID MIMIMIMIMI

-THE GAYS LOOK AT THEM

-I can’t get over the Tomjake song it bops

-I LOVE THESE GAYSSSSSSS

-“you’re lucky you’re cute” GAYYYY

-LMAO GABS THROWING THE FLOWERS OFF THE TABLE

-“the forest marauder” LMAO

-LMAO GABBY LAUGHING

-gabby and tom have the cutest friendship

-gabby and Jake hugging?

-that’s new

-THE GAYS AND SAPPHICS YESSS LETS GOOO

-Gabby’s insane but I love her

-AW SHE CALLED HIM SON

-“dandy” DANDYS WORLD MENTIONED???

-I love Jake and Miriam’s relationship

-aw Miriam calling gabby sugar 🥹

-“police academy training” ITS BACK LMAOOO

-LMAO GABBY TWISTING HIS ARM

-bro gabby and tom are so cute

-two seconds talking to each other and they’re fighting

-aw Jake actually caring for Ellie

-no way they’re actually getting along

-“that’s the most I’ve seen a grown man cry” LMAO THATS SO GABBY

-“we could make one” LMAO

-WHY DID TOM GIGGLE LIKE THAT

-“eherherherher” STOP 😭🙏🏻

-I love their friendship too much

-missing garden gnome is crazy

-“best buddies” I mean kinda

-and they’re fighting again

-LMAO PRIVILEGED TWINK

-the way they were fighting and then made up immediately

-the way they’re just friends now

-boy she IS Elsa at this point

-LMAO GABBY BARKING AT THE DOG

-TOM FALLING

-OH MY GOD THE GAYS

-“big fella” THE KISS YIPPEEE

-I LOVE GABBELLIE SO MUCH THE SAPPHICS

-SHE KISEED HER HAND

-“I can think of something else more beautiful” YESSSSS

-I LOVE THESE QUEERS

-ALLY THEYRE PLAYING WITH HER JAKE SND ALLY ARE STILL IN CONTACT AND ARE PLAYING VIDEO GAMES TOGETHER

-WHAT HAPPENED TO TOM

-TELL ME NOW

DUDE WHAT THE SIGMA

WHAT HAPPENED

MY GAYS YIPPEEEEEEEEE

[carmenized-onions]

no cause we need to know how richie would react to squidink

girl i want you to know you've ruined my life actually (and or solved it) because thinking on this longer, he's genuinely I think the catalyst for them.

as a queer woman, i say the useless lesbians trope with so much love. IT'S HARD TO TELL IF YOUR GIRL HAS A CRUSH ON YOU. OR IS SHE JUST BEING NICE. "AND ALSO DID YOU JUST CALL YOUR GIRL YOUR GIRL?" METHINKS,,, METHINKS GAY!!!

And so when the actual real SquidInk oneshot comes out I will be harkening back to this ask. But to just give my current thoughts as they happen, (and also a little blurb)

I think Richie would just kinda be sittin there, hanging out, lurking even, and just watch Chip and Syd at work and be like ah.... jus like me and mikey.... old pals...

And then it's like hm. They've got matching nicknames?

And lore fun fact, because I don't think it'll ever come up in canon, in the first chapter, when Chip mentions 'what about the money she owes you? the money you owe her?' this was just a world thing that did come off as a mysterious red herring. Chip invested in Syd's business! A very small like best friend amount but still. Then it tanked OH NO. And the money Syd owes her was really just a joke about how every friend I have I probably owe money for some take out order I forgot to pay back. and vice versa.

I bring this up because that would also strike Richie was like huh. Chip invests???

And what's up with Syd getting the best lattes!! What the fuck favouritism!! I thought I was her favourite! For a second, I do think all his eavespeeping stems from genuine jealously.

When the hot pocket gets added to the menu, Syd waives off any praise with 'ah, all Ink's idea'. HM? MENU ITEM BASED ON CHIP YOU SAY? sounds like another guy i know that's down unbelievable.

And then it finally dawns upon him, that like, he I think would know Chip is fruity. She's not very closeted about it. But Syd to me comes off as the type of gay that's like 'bitch that's none of your business.' so he has to very covertly test his theories.

picture this perhaps ; fuck it i'll even do it all nice for her, different colour bar for her and everything.

It’s after close at The Bear, and they’re taking down for the night. The two frenemies debrief together as Syd tests out a new mint compote to go with the wagyu fillet.

“So uhm…” Be normal, Richie, be so normal. “Hell of a dessert, Marcus put together tonight, eh?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Syd nods, wiping a stray smudge off the plate. “He’s honestly really close to getting his icing florals to look like Weinstock’s, it’s insane.”

“Yeah…” Richie crosses his arms, leaned against the island, “Hm– Hey, what’s– what’s your favourite flower, Syd?”

“Ah… Probably violets.” Gay flower, that’s the gay flower, right? Is that homophobic? No. Right? No it’s not. “I like dahlias too, though. Those are Ink— Chip’s favourite.”

“Ah… You like what she likes?”

“I—” Syd squints, a perplexed and faltering smile on her face, “I guess? I just appreciate her taste, I guess. I dunno. What’s uh, what’s your favourite flower?”

This is going nowhere, time to speed up the questionnaire before she gets more annoyed than she already is. “Marigolds. Thoughts on Taylor Swift?”

“I have no thoughts on Taylor Swift.”

“If Taylor Swift was at a pride parade, how would you feel about this?”

“I guess not great?” Syd turns away from her dish, looking up in thought. “Mostly cause I think Pride has been gentrified into this sort of media circus when it’s meant to be a riot—”

“Alright, that’s my answer.” He waves a hand in front of her face, already walking away. 

“What the fuck—”

“I said that’s my answer!”

How he'd react to them when they're actually a couple? I think very similarly to how he acts with Carmen/Chip stop being a pervert!!! but now it's blended with but i'm not homophobic, though.

truly it's like, a mix of relief to him, for it to be like oh. you're not Chip's better best friend, you're just in a sad sapphic love with her!!! we're not competing!!! hell yess!!! sorry to you though but HELL YESSS FOR MEEEE

we'll get to that in detail in the spin off though, of course. because now i have such a fun storyline in mind thank u popcorn for your service.

[bizlybebo]

hey so i am also batshit insane and not at all normal about Doug Bizlychannel Jerwee and his relationship with summer and i also have a non jrwi friend who is obsessed with Doug and deeply upset at the lack of doug content in the fandom so i am humbly requesting any and all doug ramblings u have in ur brain

HEEELLLLOOOOOOOO HIIHHIIHJ oh i hate that guy soooo muchh<33333

doug is absolutely bisexual and likely Some Form of non-cis but in s1 he had an evil villain job so he didn’t really care. he still doesn’t know .but like. summer is a pride flag sticker sapphic n she has the trans pin on her backpack n everything and so she kind of caught the Vibes on doug and Knows but hasn’t said anything.

hold on the rest of these got kinda Long let me make a cut

doug has a little brother right. he absolutelyyyy used to be one of those older brothers who was soo protective of his sibling and attached at the hip to him until a certain point where he started working for overlord n pushed his brother faaar away to keep his secret, being inferno, under wraps. so his little brother became kind of willing to let Anything slide as long as he could stick to his side like little brothers do,, and he probably Knew something was off and never mentioned it. it was definitely one of those situations hwere he probably thought doug was a hero/vigilante and not a villain.

ALSO i think this is actually said/kinda implied in canon but that summer probably kicked his ass to bring him down during the timeskip (or whenever they started working together). he was probably getting into shit he shouldn’t have and despite her not having powers at the time she still managed to absolutely cook him (cause like. there’s a different between who is technically physically stronger and who would Win A Fight. yknow). liiike i think it happened to be that kind of thing where they were in the middle of an absolute brawl n summer was just refusing to give up and they were exchanging banter/jabs due to already knowing each other somewhat from rockfall high. and right before they went back to exchanging deadly blows the prime rifters just fucking Showed Up. and summer was immediately curious and decided not to let doug get away on the grounds that “they’d finish the fight later” but then everything happened. yk.

ALSO i don’t think bizly actually said it but doug absolutely sacrificed himself for summer against that crazy scientist dude right. like we all saw it that way right. she was dying and he was in agony and likely thought he was dying to and so he decided that for once he was gonna be a good person even if it killed him and let summer take the fuckjn. synthetic skin and superpowers. but he survived anyways and it’s kind of like. that whole thing about “i expected to sacrifice myself for you, for it to all blow up in my face and for me to go with it, for me to be gone. but i survived and now you have to watch me pick up the shards of my life”. but summer “just because it’s rotten work doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it” dileo is like No Actually we are picking these fragments up Together but i am going to Kick Your Ass into being a good person All The Time. goddd does this make any sense i miss tjem so bad…..

also just how summer thinks she’s the only one who Knows about doug being Probably Bisexual But He Has A Job,, i think summer thinks she’s subtle abt her body dysmorphia from the whole superpowers thing. and i think doug realizes what’s going on so he makes fun of her for like. everything else But her appearance (other than joking about her always dying her hair). and he does the subtle things you always do when you’re trying to get it through somebody’s head that they’re beautiful and shouldnt be insecure (in a /p way).

also summer absolutely has dyed doug’s hair a couple times. he’s probably currently rocking w a few red streaks, but sometimes he’ll let summer do blue ones if he’s feeling quirky.

ALSO i’m on my suntrip bullshit i think summer was also trying to fucking track cantrip down during s2 and get her to Stop being a villain (enemies to lovers toxic yuri) but cantrip was wayyyyy more slippery than doug was. however after the incident w the scientist when doug was likely dying, summer had No fucking clue who to go to and. idk if i personally hc this but i think it would be Cool if she found cantrip and was like “hey. no fighting i promise. i seriously need your help can you do this for me. i’ll never bother you again if you can just help me with this”. and summer + prime rifters struck a tentative deal with cantrip + xavier and maybe alan to help doug Survive. does this make any sense sorru i love the pd npcs sooo much. i never stop thinking abt them

[theneighborhoodwatch]

starflower (Julie and Sally) ? They’re one of my favorites !! 🌸 ☀️

(send me a character/ship to hear my thoughts)

when or if I started shipping it: in a universe two doors down from this one i could see myself getting into it - but alas, we do not live in that universe.

my thoughts: it's certainly cute! i just wish i had more thoughts about it than that :,D a slightly saltier part of me grumbles that the only reason this ship is so popular is bc sally and julie are the only two femme-presenting characters who are Relatively humanoid in terms of design and poppy gets brushed off bc she's "supposed to be the mom friend" even though sally interacts with her Just as often if not even moreso -- but i would be a fool to truly turn against another yuri soldier. TL;DR: i think starflower shippers should be allowed to do whatever they want forever, but alas, my enthusiasm lies elsewhere for now.

What makes me happy about them: despite what i said in the last paragraph, i do think this ship comes the closest to capturing a very specific euphoric experience that a lot of sapphics i know (myself included) experienced when they were like 10-12: roleplaying a super intense dramatic storyline with your friend who you kinda had a crush on using OCs that you made up that same day. i do think this pairing in particular would make for a KILLER princess bride au. "oh because julie and buttercup are both iconic blondes-" no, no. listen. sally is buttercup. julie is the goofier westley who gets a butchy makeover when she comes back as the dread pirate roberts. you can't change my mind.

What makes me sad about them: the fact that they're so sillygoofy now makes me SCAREDDDDD for how things will fare between them when shit gets real. i feel like i've said that for every ship but like, every pairing i've gotten so far has a specific Dynamic that is just as threatened by this as any other, and sally and julie's dynamic in particular is "boke and boke-who's-convinced-that-she's-a-tsukkomi." can such an iconic comedic duo survive such trials? only time will tell....

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: not much! fics that center around this pairing tend to be pretty well-written, i just don't have much thoughts on the ship itself.

Things I look for in fanfic: see above.

My kinks: ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i mean, you know i'm a popstar gal right now. as for julie... hmm.... i've read some pretty cute julie/howdy fic, but i don't know if i'd say that means i Ship them? like starflower, i think it's just a ship that attracts skilled writers lol.

My happily ever after for them: i will leave this to someone more invested in the ship than myself to write.

[forcebook]

just finished watching pluto and i get what you meant by shook ajdgshsjsksk it was truly a rollercoaster of emotions whew the plot twist wasn't unexpected on itself but i didn't expect them to reveal it just like that lmao

both namtan and film did sooooo well in their emotional scenes i felt it all. may's backstory and her talking about her thoughts on living as a disabled person were very impactful. and i think the confrontation between oon and the grandma was very realistic in a way that it didn't fix anything immediately and grandma even hurt oon again with the way she worded things but it was still a small step forward because oon has let it out. you know it kinda reminded me of that scene in blueming. siwon's mom never said sorry and never fully understood him but at least she knew how he felt. and maybe the grandma will never be able to show love in the way that oon needs but she can still learn to do better it's not too late and oon deserves it. and i'm glad that may was there to tell oon that there's nothing wrong with "the way she's become". oonmay appreciating each other and showing that they truly see and love each other for who they are and not for who they aren't is so important to me 🥺🩷

also that scene when oon sang to may and they were dancing in the imaginary cgi world was so silly but in an endearing way ajdjdksks

i'm enjoying the show immensely and the only thing that worries me is may's secret because if it's that she isn't really blind it'd ruin everything the show has done for disability representation 😬 it doesn't feel like they're going in that direction tho so hopefully i'm worrying for nothing :)

now on to petrichor!!!!!!

- @ahxu-laowen

yeah! i’m honestly surprised that they revealed it now alkdkakdk wasn’t expecting THAT but better earlier than later. i think lmao

omg super agree, boo!! the emotional scenes in this show hit so hard and it’s a testament to how well they’re performed and written.

that scene from blueming! you’re so right!

yessss and i’m so glad that may was really talking about aioon. cuz she deserves to be loved and appreciated for who she is and not for her sister. okay i decided i really like that they revealed it now 😂😂😂

cgi world alkdskkdks THE SAPPHIC EXPERIENCE TBH!! i’m always in some imaginary world dancing with rosé!! so i feel seen!!!

nooo pls that would really ruin it 😩😩😩 i think may might get her vision back? but she’s definitely still blind? i hope they do it right 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

but yeah i’m really enjoying the show too!!! thank you for sharing your thoughts, boo!!!! love you!!! 💕💕💕

have fun with petrichor!! saturday more like sapphicday now!!! akdksksk

[lunesart]

in return. chlostine for the ask game <3

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

This is gonna sound pretty ridiculous, but it was kinda of pair the spares thing at first. A was a pretty big boyfs fan, was compelled by bway’s hits at iced tea, and I thought Jake was aro. So really I just had Christine and Chloe in the corner not doing anything. So I then paired them up in my head and liked them as a side ship. A couple months later after drawing them nonstop and raiding the ao3 tag, they are now my favorite ship. Truly a wide ride.

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

my thoughts:

man, where to begin. I just love them so much. I love their good/bad dichotomy, their mutual want for attention/affection, the rivals to lovers transition, the pink/green guys. They had one scene together and it has ruined me.

What makes me happy about them:

I guess I really like they contrast each other so much. Like, they’re so different that it distracts you from how actually similar they are. Like I said, they both have this need for attention, but Christine seeks it out on stage and Chloe seeks it out in popularity.

What makes me sad about them:

Honestly I would have really like if they had more scenes together. The one moment they interact is not enough. But alas, what can I expect from The Male Teenage Experience: The Musical

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

What fanfics? /j I do think that I don’t particularly care that much for when they just have a sweet sapphic relationship? Not that I don’t like it OR that I haven’t drawn and written them like this. It’s just not getting to the meat of why I like them together.

things I look for in fanfic:

I NEED toxic yuri. God when they’re so complicated it hurts. I eat that shit up. Bonus points for hitting them with the comphet beam.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

Ummm so. Due to me slowly drifting towards lesbian chlostine these past few months, their romantic ships with boys don’t really compel me. I like their mutual relationships with Jake, but more in an analysis way and not me actually wanting one of them to be be with him. I guess pinkberry and cinnabon are my second choices.

My happily ever after for them:

They live in a small apartment and own a cat and have a big ass lesbian flag on the wall. tbh I don’t really see them as a long LONG term thing, but an after college thing I good.

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Standing/sitting up, Chloe is big spoon and Christine is little spoon. Laying down, Christine is big spoon and Chloe is little spoon.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

Singing!! Chloe’s pretty shit at acting but alright at singing so they arrange karaoke nights every Friday at one of their places.

[redheadbigshoes]

do you think one can have fake crushes on men and not realise they’re fake/that they’re faking it?

honestly trying to figure out if i like men is hard, i wouldn’t date one, i relate to some comphet signs (but don’t all women), i generally dislike men as people, but i have some type of feelings towards some, but the more i question it all it just feels forced, i can’t tell if my first ever crush was real or if i faked it subconsciously maybe and liked him just cause my bsf at the time did, tbh the guy was shit and bullied me for years after that (and even during the crush), then i know i picked a guy to crush on, like straight up my thought process was that all girls like him and he is pretty, so i decided to like him too, but then i kinda did have like warm/positive feelings towards him? so im confused.

and while ik i don’t have to pick a label i like picking a label tbh, for now im sticking with sapphic, but i really want to figure out what exactly i am.

Absolutely, I think that’s pretty common actually. The sensation that you think it’s a crush when it’s actually not. It’s just your brain trying to force an attraction because you’re supposed to be into men.

You have no idea how common it is as a symptom of comphet thinking you have a crush on a guy only after a friend tells you they like him.

Picking crushes is a major comphet sign, but have you ever tried dating guys? Sometimes anxiety and nervousness (the bad kind) can be mistaken for butterflies and for attraction. Did it actually feel positive or you just assumed those feelings were butterflies and labeled them as positive because of said assumption?

If you’ve dated guys a very common experience is “liking” them until they show interest in you, then suddenly you may start coming up with various excuses to stop dating them.

Do you have very high standards for men? Try thinking about it, sometimes those standards are so high it’s impossible to find a real life person who fits them. This can actually relate to only having “crushes” on celebrities and fictional characters because you think they fit those standards.

[eclipsewxtch]

okay so i have so much stuff planned for blue moon so MINOR SPOILERS AHEAD FOR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS FOR ANY FUTURE CHAPTERS LOOK AWAY AVERT UR EYES:

ik i said this before but all relationships r implied n i don’t make anything canon. that being said, i make sure all ships (even the most obscure n rare ones) get their flowers!! whether that’s from POV’s in the chapter, dialogue, or just little moments/details. that being said, here’s what i intended:

• ethan & jesse have the relationship dynamic of two toxic divorced men who have shared custody of their daughter (jane)

• jane is jesse’s kid idc idc idc im making it happen its gonna give reluctant dad/mentor who’s lowkey the Worst Person Ever & daughter/mentee he didn’t want but NEEDED!!! they’re gonna be so good. im gonna eat it up.

• jane is ethan’s kid too ig but it’s not the same. like that’s her protector n her brother sure but JESSE?? he commits war crimes for that little girl she’s his baby

• audrey & ethan have the relationship dynamic of something soft and sweet. like she makes him feel grounded, but not exactly human. safe. i adore them. i rlly wanted it to give monster bf x human gf so i hope it has those vibes(?)

• rory & ethan (im so so biased i love them so much) they have the dynamic of puppy love. they’re just the sweetest n kindest n they make my heart hurt so much. literally aches.

• benny & ethan r very much old married couple. (they’re gonna hurt yall so bad in the last chapter for s1 like yall r gonna hate me!) they fight n bicker, but it’s like a domestic kind (until it’s not) n crazily enough i actually don’t ship them (don’t crucify me yall) but i want to feed the bethan shippers.

• sarah & ethan give nerd x cool girl he’d do anything for. like he is the loser bf to her cool popular gf!! i actually rlly love this ship n its kinda sickening, but i think ethan heals sarah from her past hurts (jesse u asshole) n sarah makes ethan feel seen n less of a dork.

• erica & ethan r just cuties!! friends forever!! like it’s black cat x golden retriever with them. while i don’t ship, i understand it’s a REALLY rare pair, so they have cute moments where they have fun together. its more platonic, i’ll admit, but if u wanna read into it u can.

• benny & erica r unrequited crushes. like i fear they had a crush on each other b4 she became a vampire, n after the bite it just could never go anywhere. she became too different, n he stayed the same. he’s bitter abt the missed chance; n she can’t imagine him ever liking her before she was a vampire.

• erica & rory have the same dynamic in the show but she’s just nicer to him about it. that’s her puppy, n she treats him as such but she’ll be DAMNED if YOU treat him like a dog. who do u think u r???

• erica & sarah are sapphic vampire gfs. soulmates, ur honor. it’s bad. real bad. i fear they are each other’s homes.

• jesse & rory give evil villain n his loyal henchman. it’s cute in a “oh he listens n respects ur opinions” kind of way, but he takes those opinions to further his selfish agenda.

•NO RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN JESSE/SARAH OR JESSE/ERICA, THAT SHIT IS PAST TENSE AND FINISHED!! REFUSE TO HAVE A MAN COME BETWEEN WOMEN!

•audrey & sarah r gonna be best friends. they don’t argue over a man; they’re better than that. unfortunately audrey is straight n this won’t be romantic😓

• s2 is gonna be longer than s1–so like twenty chapters probably(?) #longfic #somuchthoughtputinthis and i am probably gonna go back n edit s1 chapters in between updates for s2 but i rlly rlly wanna dive deep in each character. ESPECIALLY JESSE. this redemption arc is gonna go crazy. he’s a horrible, terrible, very bad man and yet!!

• i love audrey n im forcing everyone to love her as well. i normally hate OC’s in fics bc it’s like damn why is this person taking over the narrative(?) n more often than not it feels like an extension of the author’s personality. unfortunately if i was gonna make audrey an extension of me and a self-insert for me i would have her flirt HEAVY w erica. love erica bad😝 if anything audrey is just for fun. i was like hm? what if we gave ethan a little red riding hood?? wouldn’t that be sooo funny? n it is.

• i’m sorry for bringing this up again but the ethan & jane & jesse dynamic goes sooo crazy. so crazy. be thankful im not turning it into a louis & claudia & lestat situation bc i contemplated more than once having jane almost die n ethan beg jesse to turn her. i decided against it but the urge was there.

[nerdyenby]

Lime time :D I’m watching Sniff

Their setup is suffering lmao

The extended discussion of if this team is family friendly or not and then Ollie’s “Okay FUCK” 😂😂😂

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to shoot people because I’m bad at the game” Sniff my beloved!!

Guqqie’s excitement over there not being fall damage is so real

Sniff kinda popping off!!!!

This team is so silly goofy, this is gonna be such a fun time :))

Sniff muting to gush about how nice their team is <333

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom real fast” “Go piss, girl” SNIFF /pos

She said that to Purpled lmao 😂😂😂

Ollie being offended at the implication that he doesn’t sound Spanish enough

“I will be deafening during ace race to sing the I’m Just Ken song” “That’s fine” “Yeah, for sure” “That’s so fair, that’s just morally correct” Guqqie BASED

Rocket Spleef

THEYRE SO PREPARED!!!!!

Purpled is such a tryhard, I love him

“Not the puzzle pieces […] If I do bad in this game, I’m calling up Autism Speaks and I’m having a word with them, I’m just saying” that’s my audhd icon!!

“I’ve never been drunk before” and I believe him because Purpled Bedwars would never lie

Ableist map!!!! /j

“I love how we all look like little flies hanging out” Sniff Snifferish is only correct all the time

On the fence, what a legend!!!!!!

Purpled is too powerful you guys

Hole in the Wall

This isn’t a great game for them rip, at least it’s out of the way tho

Sniff and Guqqie <333

Everyone getting their chance to pop off my beloved

Sniff’s Purpled appreciation speech :(( them <3

Skybattle

“We don’t want people, we don’t like people” so true Purpled

SNIFF SNIFFERISHHHHHHH!!!!!! my streamer won skybattle

*Ollie instantly dies, is still screaming* “It’s okay, we move on” this team is everything to me, their energy is so

Ok but Guqqie managing a team kill in skybattle is so iconic of them

Yellow is a strong team, Ollie is one of the only players expressing a healthy fear of their raw power and I love him for that

Meltdown

Purpled and Guqqie being so excited about the new routes my beloved <333

They’re killing it!!!!

Purpled is such a good igl I will not shut up about it

#1 pink supporters fr :))

That fight against red was so uncomfortably close quarters lol, they did great tho

Sniff sacrificing herself to save Purpled, team player of all time <33

Guqqie and Sniff digging into Purpled for calling them “chat” my beloved

Battle Box

They did that!!!!

They popped off!!!! Absolutely destroyed!!!!!

Ace Race

The mega chicken’s betrayal was brutal

“I’m just Ken” 😭😭😭

NOOOOOOOOOOO SNIFFFFFFFF ;-;

Xeir recovery though!!!!! He’s making back that time!!

Grid Runners

“I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m barking orders” “You can bark, you can bark” “Yeah, you can meow if you’re up for it” this team 😂

Purpled losing his mind at that one pig is so valid but it’s also very funny to me

They’re on a roll!!!! Golf and dunk tank were clean

Purpled is confident with redstone, didn’t know that lol

Sands of Time

Excited about this strat :))

Guqqie do not apologize omg /aff

They’re so low on time, it’s stressing me out

Love them appreciating how much yellow popped off, they did incredible and it might be the biggest lead in season 3 (am definitely going to look into that now whoops)

Dodgebolt

“I love my girlfriend!!” “Really? No way, I never would’ve guessed” sapphic on sapphic violence lmao

Purpled asking if Walli can join the call lmao

You could tell me Purpled and Walli were boyfriends and I would believe you tbh, only inkling of hesitation is Purpled’s intentional token straight energy

Sniff popping off!!!! You owe corporations nothing and transphobes can fuck off

Purpled’s sympathy for Fruit’s plight my beloved

Them manually translating, language barriers lose!!!!

“I have adhd, I’m off my meds, please forgive me” SAME, WHERES MY FREAKING ADDERALL REFILL @mypsychiatrist

Great team, great times, great vibes :))