#what i wish id known at 14

[snarky-art]

The Winx’s main family trees with general info about genetic traits on the planets their family hails from included!

This was done at the request of @charmixpower and I did it because I love er.

Please note that the hair colors present on the grandparents of the Winx aren’t necessarily accurate to what it would be at the age I’ve drawn them as. Many would be less saturated in color, graying, white, streaks, ya know,, older age stuff. I just did it for the sake of showcasing the phenotypes and where the parents and the Winx get some of their physical traits from.

General notes and trivia of what’s written down down here below the cut because cursive is hard to read for some people and also general ID stuff! + some additional info, relationship info for couples and the extended family I just didn’t write down on the pics and some real world cultural influence updates for certain worlds and groups in my rewrite!

Stella’s Family Tree

-Luna’s given name is Margaret, and Luna is a name taken on by whomever is chosen to be the head Priest of The Temple of The Moons. She was also known as Raza while she was apart of the group of priests working for the previous Luna, titles for other lower priests being given variations for moons and light

-The name Luna is the Solarian version of the name for the Priest whose head of The Temple of The Moons. The title to Lunarians is Delia.

-Luna actually has a lot of siblings, 14 to be exact, and they’re all girls

-Darcy’s mom is named Hestria, and her Father is named Leander

-There are two groups of Lunarians in terms of phenotypic traits: A group who’s ancestors traveled outside of the inside of the moons vast inner workings of caves and caverns later on, and those who’s ancestors stayed primarily inside, only gaining access to outside light and moonbeams through holes and entryways to the surface. These spots where moon beams shine down were highly revered in the past and still hold a cultural significance to both groups of Lunarians, but hold a stronger significance for those that stick more closely to the way of life involving staying in the cave systems within the moon more. Travel and life on the surface is very common in the modern day and the general attitude towards staying underground is more neutral now, but there are still small groups with more extreme views on it and see outside travel as something more foolish and disrespectful to The Moons, and small groups who inversely see those who hold those views as “backwards” and “stuck in the past.”

-the pupils of both Lunarians and Solarians are different, with the colors matching to the variance of shades that the magic of the respective cores of the Suns and the Moons have, showcasing their connection to this magic as apart of their own Magical Core. The same goes for the variety in colors for their pupils, the color influenced by the colors of the Moons and Suns energy in general though as opposed to their cores.

-On average, Lunarian hair color is less intense and less saturated than Solarian hair color. Stella gets her blond from her mother, but the intensity of its color is bolstered by the traits from her dad’s side.

-Lunarian cultural dress and cultural aspects in general is based primarily of of Romani people, with some general Slavic influence as well and some Greco Roman stuff intermingled with it as a result of Solarian culture

-Solarian cultural dress and cultural aspects are based predominantly on Greco Roman and Aztec elements

-Radius is a title for that which is to act as the main ruling figure of Solaria, which is a term that includes both the planet of Solaria itself as well as Lunaria, which is under its dominion to an extent still as a result of an Imperialist past. They are set more as equals in the current day with Lunaria being free to follow their own traditions and cultural practices now as they wish and set their own rules of governance, but there are still issues with the planet Solaria seeing itself as being able to overrule certain things in terms of governance if they deem it right to do so. There’s still sociocultural clashes too and more reparations needed to properly make up for the Imperialism the planet of Solaria is responsible for in its past and to an extent current day, and it’s a common point of contention talked about in political courts and meetings.

-Radius’s given name is Ciro

-Radius does have a brother named Helios, and despite Helios being older, he didn’t take his studies and duties as seriously and chose to pass off his title as next in line to inherit the title of Radius to Ciro. It is important to note that while the title for next in line isn’t inherently tied to birth order, it is the most common way it is done.

Flora’s Family Tree

-Alyssa has 4 siblings, 2 sisters, 1 brother, and 1 sibling. Them, Alyssa, Rhodos, Flora, and Mielle all live in the same large tree in their settlement, which is in a more rural area of Linphea on the outskirts of a bigger city type settlement (still very nature based in its architecture and set up, just with a lot more commerce and a big population, you know,, city stuff lol)

-Rhodos has 1 sibling, a sister who didn’t get along very well with their parents (they tried to enforce a rigid “follow in our footsteps as farmers and continue the family line the same way we did” since she was the oldest, and that was just about as far as possible from what she wanted, which was to travel and research and study. They gave Rhodos much more freedom as the younger sibling, and this really upset his sister for obvious reasons. Rhodos agreed and would listen to her vent and support her wants, but wasn't able to say much to their parents because they were so stubborn. Their parents pushed too hard, and eventually instead of pushing back anymore, she just left) and now lives on the planet furthest from the Sun the Moons of Marigold revolve around where it’s coldest. He and his sister still stay in semi regular contact and despite her relationship with their parents being rocky, they still get along very well and she visits Linphea at least once a year.

Notes from the picture:

*leaves and greens for ears are typically dominant over flowers/petals and other colored things

Sclera: varying shades of green from chlorophyll like blood

Iris: tend to match part of the plants on the ears, although can match colors of other plants their parents had

Pupils: similar to sclera, but darker as like our eyes, they're connected to the brain

Tecna's Family Tree

-The people of The Binary Conduit, which Zenith is apart of, are based off of a mix of different Glacial Peoples and Far North groups, including for specific influences on the designs I've chosen here belonging to the Tadar, Teleuts, Nenets, Inuit, and Yupik people specifically.

-The Binary Conduit is a place with a wide variety of cultural groups, but a very similar shared setup for how technology is integrated into their surroundings and environment, the primary goal being for it to co exist alongside the nature of the many planets.

-Somewhat similar to Linphea, there are many smaller settlements and a few big city hub areas on each of the planets. However, while on Linphea the smaller settlements and towns are stationary, there are some groups that choose to move to different spaces throughout the year for different reasons such as climate, food, resources, etc. or as a way to continue the tradition of it regardless. This is less common now than it was in the past due to newer technology, but its still considered an important tradition of the way many of them lived in generations long past, and it isn't uncommon for it to still be done by some groups as a way to honor and appreciate that.

-Tecna has no siblings, but does have many cousins, aunts, and uncles on her dad's side.

-Magnethia has a much smaller family than Electronio, with 2 sisters. Her older sister is married and has 2 children and the other, her younger sister, is happily single with no interest in ever marrying and has a child she adopted. Both of her sisters are also in the research field, Magnethia's emphasis being Cultural Anthropology, her older sister's in Geology, and her younger sister's being Art History with an emphasis in Northern Zenethian Cultures.

-As mentioned in some previous posts, Electronio is part Melodian. A key difference to note as a result of this is his metabolism. Zenethians and those of The Binary Conduit in general tend to have a slower metabolism and also consume less food. Due to the genetics from his dad, he has a faster metabolism and does consume more food, and this is something that was passed down to Tecna as well, granted it isn’t as intense as their dad’s.

Notes from the picture:

-Their magical core color shines in the catchlight of their eyes as their magic flows closer to the surface of the skin. This is to help keep the skin warmer to deal with the cold present on the planet and is a trait shared by most within The Binary Conduit

-not included in the picture, but fun fact: this means it’s not uncommon for babies or those who have lighter skin to glow in certain parts of their body or all over from the way the magic is shown flowing under the skin in vein like patterns.

-There are 2 hair color variation sets: one that is more vibrant and saturated and one that is much darker in color.

Musa’s Family Tree

-The variation in skin tones found in Melody are not uncommonly separated by different provinces and sectors of the planetary group.

-Ho-Boe’s family comes from a more southern area of Melody and his parents are both merchants who run a stand in the market area of their town with them specializing in herbs and flowers. His mom had a beautiful singing voice and could play the magical realm’s equivalent of the Erhu and his father was able to play the magical realm’s equivalent of the Guzheng, Diza, and Pipa. They would both regularly play at different restaurants, bars,and local festivals and concerts and their music was really well loved within their community. Ho-Boe grew up with music as a result, and learned to play all the instruments his parents played (minus the Diza, he had too much trouble with his breath control and didn’t like it enough to want to get better at it) and then some.

-Matlin and her parents are from a northeastern part of Melody and was born into a family of high ranking performers who all worked or would go on to work in Opera’s seen by nobility and high ranking members of their society. Matlin liked it a lot, but after seeing Ho-Boe perform after he saw HER perform and he invited her to one of his gigs (like his parents he too enjoyed performing regularly at different random events and eateries), she gained a love for the style of performance and music he partook in, a less rigid and in her eyes compared to what she grew up around and doing, rawer version of it. She was never really allowed to see this kind of performance because of the strict rules her family adhered to as a way to maintain and uphold their status, and she really fell in love with it, and eventually Ho-Boe after sneaking out and performing together and going to different shows together in secret. She always felt a little stifled by her parents and the restrictions of the life she lived, but it never bothered her enough to say or do anything about it. After learning and seeing how Ho-Boe lived, she finally understood what she really wanted, and her parents and most of her sisters didn’t accept that. Like in the show, she chose to leave it all behind and start a new like with Ho-Boe, and they eventually had Musa.

-She eventually did reconcile with her family to an extent, her father being much more supportive in the end than her mother, but they still loved her in their own way, and she accepted and loved them in her own way too, her being much closer to her dad though. She also had 2 sisters that adamantly supported her and her wants from the start, and she stayed in regular contact with them even during her time of estrangement. Her other sisters came to accept her choices with varying degrees of said acceptance, with the 3rd oldest sister never really accepting it at all and being cold to her for the rest of her life.

-Ho-Boe’s parents adored Matlin from the start and welcomed her with open arms. She was invited to every family dinner, festival, reunion, get together, etc before she and Ho-Boe even started dating, and everyone did tease Ho-Boe about her because they knew he liked her from the start (yes they teased him in front of her some too. She thought it was very funny and endearing how hard Ho-Boe would blush and how flustered he got)

Notes from the picture:

About Matlin: has many sisters, all performers.

-bonus not written down: she has 10, with her being the 6th born. She was closest with her sister born right after her, the 1st born, and the 3rd born. The 3rd born was the one who never truly forgave her for choosing to leave them and their family for Ho-Boe and his way of life and the music he performed, and this hurt her incredibly badly. She grieved the loss of their relationship the most when she left and until the day she died there was still a sting from the way she was shunned even after reconciling with her family.

Aisha’s Family Tree

-Land Androsians are in terms of appearance based mainly off of the Zulu, Ndebele, and a few other general inland areas of Africa along with some Indian influence (this is very broad I know but it just depends on the region they’re from on Andros for specifics here)

-The Sea Androsians in regards to their appearance are based off of the areas of The Middle East with an emphasis on Morocco, Iran, the Amazigh peoples, and areas of Polynesia (similar to the Land Androsians, specifics depend on what region they’re from)

-Generally, Land Androsians have darker skin and hair with less color variety for hair when compared to the Sea Androsians

-Teredor’s mother was the Ruler for The Royal House of Androsia (the name the Land and Sea Androsians use to refer to their place of inhabitance and rule which is separate from the Merpeople and their deep sea kingdom). She took on the role as The Land Androsian for the diplomatic marriage and married someone of Sea Androsian identity who acted as their representative in the rulership. As is customary, Teredor was then assigned as a Sea Androsian for the line of rulership, and married Niobe, someone who was considered a Land Androsian. This means as is customary, Aisha is formally considered a Land Androsian in regards to her role in leadership.

Notes from the picture (and general expansion on what is in the picture):

Labeled General Trivia:

-eyes of Sea Androsians commonly have an iris color that matches their fins, with a more saturated ring of this color around the pupil, and then a darker version of this color for the pupil. This is the result of different lenses that allow for better underwater sight

-this is also why the sclera isn’t white, it’s part of an effect of eye protection for underwater use

-intermingling of Land and Sea Androsian populations and genetics is what results in typically more extreme ear fin size variation and eye color, function, and lens variability. This is whye on of Teredor’s parents (the one with pink hair) has white sclera instead of a blue or green tinted one.

-sometimes iris color varies away from fin color for Sea Androsians and can take on colors of their parents eyes. It’s more common for Androsians with both Land and Sea Androsian genetics to have this happen.

-gills on neck are common for Sea Androsians and typically match the colors of the fins on their ears, but sometimes match a color or color variation of one or both of their parents. This can sometimes happen to the ear fins too.

-land Androsians don’t have them (gills) and the intermingling of genetics from those from the Land of Androsia and those of The Sea part of Androsia result in not every Sea Androsian having them, and some of those who would be classified or identify as Land Androsians do have them

-status as Land or Sea Androsians within the “common” inhabitants (ie not rich nobility or royalty) if they are born into a family that has a combination of traits and family from spaces traditionally associated with one status or the other is fairly fluid for most now with variability on what the individual identifies with, where they live, how they’re raised, etc. Some choose to identify as both, and a term of Beach Androsian is sometimes used and becoming more common in the modern day. It’s a term from the last few hundred years as intermingling has become more common and less of a “reserved for royals” status thing within the attitudes of the general public. It’s a term that was coined by those who wanted to acknowledge both parts of their heritage, but wanted a more succinct concrete term to use for themselves.

-Bonus info: The more casual breakdown of a rigid Land Androsian and Sea Androsian dichotomy is something of an area of contention for those in the higher ranking echelons of society. Teredor cares less than most nobles about it, fairly indifferent to those outside of high ranking society doing it, but a little more reserved about it all together for those who are royalty. Niobe cares more about it and has a lot of grievances and is on par with most nobles in terms of her issues with it. Part of her and Teredor’s arc with becoming more open and accepting of Aisha’s wants and needs is unlearning this concern and being more receptive to it.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 13

chapter 24:

1. sirius 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 james being codependent af

2. ooo reg you’re so close babes. think about that just a little more. he realizes he cares about how james treats him and feels about him. reg just almost gets it

3. “He thinks the arena makes everyone a bad person while they're here. The only exception to the rule is James. He's the only person who could drag himself through all of this filth and cruelty and still hold onto his shine.”

4. ☺️ this “without hesitation” line is gonna bite us in the ass, isn’t it?

5. they’re talking about what their life without tragedy would have looked like. and damn. i’m not okay. their life would have been so beautiful

6. “"In that life, I do," Regulus whispers. "I let you do whatever you want, and when you want to dance, we dance."”

i’m NASTY sobbing over this line. like, snot coming out of my nose sobbing

7. “Regulus said James was his first love, didn't he? James would give anything to be his last.” 😀😀😀 holy shit that hurts

8. that nightmare was VILE

9. god, reg was practically sobbing to hold james’ hand. why is the world cruel to them??

10. 😐 i am unamused. another fucking spider

11. “"Have a go at me. Don't thank me or anything. It's always you're so stupid, James; it's never you looked so sexy and heroic while saving everyone from the murderous spider, James."” PFFFFFTTTT

12. it hurts to read it, but i also have always known that if reg wasn’t called into the hunger games, james would have died for someone else. like he said, either peter or vanity

13. god, peter’s story line and character fucking hurts. his family was mathias, irene, vanity, james, and even reg. this hurts like hell

14. NOOO PETER!!!!!

15. THEY MADE IT!!! THEY SURVIVED! THE GAMES ARE OVER!! THANK GOD!!

16. 😀😧 the rule change is REVOKED??? IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY FUCKING SHIT!! IF I WAS IN THIS UNIVERSE, ID PERSONALLY BE THROWING HANDS WITH SLUGHORN!! I BET SIRIUS HAS TO BE PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED!!

17. “"You're hesitating, love," James says softly.”

SCREEEEEEEEEEECHH

18. “"Axus got me on their way into the water. At least it was your dagger, I suppose," James says with a weary chuckle, his throat bobbing on a harsh swallow. His mouth quirks up a bit at the corner, gentle and lovely. "Maybe this makes me insane, but if I'm honest, I wish it had been you."”

oh no, make no mistake james. this very much does make you insane

19. and james is compared to the fucking sun going down again. i- i’m not okay

20. i need therapy for my trust issues. i trusted my ex best freind who outed me. i trusted my old roommate who i recently found out had a notes app list of everything she didn’t like about me this year. and most importantly, i trusted zar. i trusted that this fic wouldn’t do this to me.

[d4ldolly]

mys (massive yap session)

blehh does anyone feel rlly confused ab if anyone actually cares ab you?? like I just wanna die but not in a suicidal way. like I just wanna see how people would react.

pros-

if they do miss me I'd be flattered

I wouldn't feel bad about myself anymore bc someone actually cared

n if they did miss me id be happy cuz id know i left a mark on this earth even if only a short while

cons-

well I die

what if they don't miss me

there's sm beautiful and cool things on earth is it rlly worth throwing it all away and starting over just for the small comfort of knowing someone will remember me

i wish there was some way to know. like a lie detector in my brain or something. yk how you sometimes have a very best friend, the kind of people you would die for and tell legit everything to? i wanna know if they feel the same way for me.

I've been in lots of situations where someone I've known 4 short time suddenly becomes attached 2 me, but like I don't want them that way. its endearing 2 know that they do in fact enjoy my presence and choose me over a large group of other people but I feel bad not reciprocating it. im gonna sound so cringy and pickme type like this but wtv. I like a very certain type of person. (not romantically in this situation)

i wouldn't say I've had the... average mind? since 11 I started starving n cutting n getting addicted to gore. I think 12 was when it really hit, I'd be so addicted to the feeling of physical pain seeing the scratches brought me elation. it wasn't even bc I was depressed or anything it was just so fun. i think red and bruises look nice on me. I didn't tell a single soul about this but i implied it n made jokes of it for the slight chance someone would pick up the undertones n maybe try to help me. I think it's embarrassing to have this addiction. why am I like this? why couldn't I just be normal. maybe everybody around me does this too but I'm just and overreacter n their all in a joke I'll never understand.

n as a kid + preteen I was fugly bro. like I still am but damn!!!!! I guess it's sorta ok bc I was like 7 but man. being asian in the us was not a great experience. it wasn't so bad it constantly interfered with my life to the point of breaking me but it did piss me off alot. all i wanted to be was skinny and white girl pretty. (I DO NOT MEAN THIS OR ANYTHING I SAY IN A RACIST WAY AT ALL!!!!!!)

anyways i thought to myself every single day that everything was pretty. most people (around 14 out of 15) never seemed to understand what I meant by that and god was i confused. what do you mean that the yellow-green grass on the lawn with specks of miniscule dots made up of white and blue flowers wasnt pretty? that the details on a single tree in the big big forest weren't worth your attention? the lines and details of a rock, formed by years of going through nature. the way the light ripples and reflects into clear water, always making new colors you'll only see once, and disappearing in a moment as it trickles away down the stream. little moments like those were all I cared for. the thing I spent the most of my time on? people. I love everybody. I love every single part and cell and strand of hair and scar, skin, nail, the little freckles, dots, moles, bones, veins, flesh, imperfections, perfections, god. I could spend eternity and forever just staring. I don't know why I do this, but I never want to stop. people are so interesting. it's funny how we're all different.

sometimes I just laugh. laugh because I live and get to see and feel and smell and taste and hear and love. I think I like being a human. maybe being a dog or royalty would be easier, but I wouldn't trade my current life for anything in the universe.

reflecting on myself is something I do unconsciously, every single moment I get to myself. most of those moments are just embarrassment because I think I'm ugly. do you think insects believe they're ugly? i would spend minutes, days, months, and decades just trying to convince a beetle that he's beautiful. maybe I'm beautiful? I wouldn't know. how would anyone know if I don't know myself?

i think that's my biggest fear. genuinely, factually coming to a conclusion that nobody will ever want me, whether it's because my physical firm or mental ways of just being me. I'd be so sad if i love literally everybody, unconditionally and never bending to a single whim, just to be put to the side without a second thought. hopefully they put me on a little shelf in their mind, so atleast they'll remember me somehow. they better do it gently too, i might break if they don't care for me.

i hope someday, probably long after I'm gone, everybody will find peace. don't know what kind of peace, but just something or somewhere they can rest for a moment. I hope the bees have a safe hibernation. the bears are warm in their cave. the plants are eager to grow after being dormant. that the dung beetle gets a rest and finally achieves rolling it to the top of the hill. that the little brown-white mushrooms growing after a long rain in the forest thrive. that the deer graze happily in a meadow. n most importantly, I hope whoever or whatever read this is happy. your life could be miserable. lets enjoy what have, or what we'll never have while we can. we'll never be here forever, but you can damn as well make it worthwhile.

yolo,

-d4l_

[beardedmrbean]

Threads, Meta's new social media app, has signed up 100 million new users less than a week since its launch last Wednesday, making it the fastest-growing app in history.

Like other social media apps, users probably barely scanned − or skipped − the terms and conditions for what information Threads can collect, share and sell about them.

Meta probably already had a lot of information about users because Threads is built upon its Instagram platform.

Start the day smarter. Get all the news you need in your inbox each morning.

So how much does Threads already know about you, and what can it do with that data? Here are a few reasons to be concerned about your privacy.

What information does Threads collect?

Social media platforms monetize user data by selling relevant ads based on your location and activity, but, along with the usual app privacy requests like browsing history and location data, Threads also asks for financial information, health and fitness data, diagnostics and a nefarious-sounding "sensitive info."

Many users have voiced concern over Threads for its 14-point list of data permissions you're granting Meta to use the app. Twitter, by comparison, has 10 of these.

"I would say it's at the outer boundaries of what's usually expected, which is to be expected from its connection to Facebook, a brand long known for being especially hungry to take in user data and commercialize it in different ways," says Dan Ackerman, the new editor-in-chief at Gizmodo, a leading technology, science and culture news publication.

Android users can toggle off some of the data requests from the app, while the Apple App Store is "more take-it-or-leave it," Ackerman said.

"It also doesn't help that there's no browser-based fully functional version of Threads right now, and so you have to use the app version," he said.

Meta declined my request for comment and clarification.

Is Threads data collection worse than Twitter?

It's not necessarily malicious, suggests Tim Bajarin, a veteran technology analyst and Chairman of the San Jose, California-based market research firm Creative Strategies. "Users should know this Threads data list is pulled directly from Instagram, and it's all tied to their advertising engine when they start to monetize Threads.  

"When you sign off on financial info, for example, they're not looking at your bank statements or anything," Bajarin said.

Rather, Threads collects what you're posting about and liking, where you are, and whether you bought something through a third-party site, app or game you logged into using your connected Facebook/Instagram ID (usually to avoid creating a new password altogether).

Bajarin said users are granting Meta access for future advertising.

"Meta isn't giving you a free app out of the goodness of their heart − they're there to make money, which is mostly from advertising."

Threads can collect and save this information, and the data can also be shared with third-party services that connect to your Threads profile.

Can you deactivate Threads?

Yes, but you cannot delete it without also deleting Instagram, Bajarin said.

"Meta built (Threads) on the Instagram infrastructure, on top of the program itself, and so it would be very difficult to uninstall one and not both – at least the way it's engineered today. ... They could eventually be spun out to be completely separate apps," Bajarin said.

To deactivate (but not delete) your Threads account, Adam Mosseri − the Instagram boss who now spearheads the Threads app – says you can choose to hide your Threads profile and content, delete individual Threads posts and set your profile to private, as reported by USA TODAY contributor Jennifer Jolly.

"Threads is powered by Instagram, so right now it's just one account, but we're looking into a way to delete your Threads account separately,” he posted.

Ackerman said the fact Threads is built on Instagram is actually a boon for Meta and users, "as it's especially easy to sign up for, has no wait list, and is simple to use." But "in order to delete your Threads account after you sign up, you’ll need to delete your Instagram account, as well, which reminds me of the difficulty people had deleting their Facebook accounts in the past, and how there was a lot of fine print about what data Facebook would keep unless you jumped through extra hoops."

Is the Threads app safe?

Threads is asking for more permissions than Twitter, so it boils down to your comfort level.

Though some of the privacy permissions seem ludicrous – granting Threads access to health and activity data and other "sensitive info" on a smartphone just seems wrong – no one is forcing users to install and use Threads or any other social media app that monetizes its free platform by delivering personalized, contextual ads to you.

Threads is available in more than 100 countries, but perhaps it's no surprise it isn't available in the Europe Union just yet: Meta was forced to pay more than $400 million by EU regulators for forcing users to accept targeted ads.

Personally, I am using and enjoying Threads quite a bit but wish there was more clarity about how my data is collected and used. And I'm disappointed Meta declined to clarify things.

I select "Ask not to track" on all iPhone apps to reduce an app's visibility into my web browsing activity, and I have a virtual private network (VPN) on my computer for extra privacy, but perhaps it's true there is nothing truly free in this world – it's just up to each person to decide whether the cost is worth it.

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon Days 13-14?

Undercover Princess: Ch. 40-45

Mega liveblog

Ill be honest. I'm really ill: but i am on a bus for 2 hours. So: heres a really porrly written summary of like... the lead up to the ball

Ch. 40

"Promise you'll also be happy"

Well...

Shes happy sometimes?

I really like that again we see that question of jamies origin which doesnt seem so important until youve read everything else

Ill be honest, i usually skip the valentines day bits

Lola is an icon, shes right. Jamie not liking cupcakes is blasphemous

And ellie getting lottle the flowers her name was named for is really sweet and i miss this era of them when it was so easy to fix

Also that note is so incredibly stupid and yes its a threat but also imagine jamie in his room making up the rhyme

"They might take ellie away" GIRL YOUR JOB IS TO PROTECT HER NOT TO KEEP HER FOREVER. Go read the diary again cmon

Ch. 41

Exams! The ball! Finally we hear more about the ball. Its crazy that they get results that quickly

Lottie having nightmares about failing her exams is... oh this poor girl

Shoutout to angus the most scottish person here i love him

Binah is so funny. I absolutely hated people who reacted like that in school

I'm so proud of Lottie like genuinely because after all of the chaos, shes still done incredibly

I was that one sobbing ivy girl ngl. I litterally appealed my b in nat 5 physics because i was convined i deserved a A. I didnt

Ollies messages was so sweet. I missed him so much. He deserves so so so much better. I wish he was able to know things but hes so right to be concerned and hurt. Then "have a good life"

Heartbreaking

Ch. 42

DRESS SHOPPING i probably dont have many thoughts other than OMG DRESSES AND SHOES so sorry in advance

Lèon is an icon and i love him

"I never like to be predictable" YES LOTTIE HARNASS THE SASS

Hes so real with the day and night hes all of us

I really wish ellie got to wear a suit here, it wouldve contrasted so perfectly to the book 5 ball

THE SHOES OH MY GOD THE SHOES

Ellie telling jamie to "just leave" is such a horrible awful thing to have said knowing all we know on reread.

Ch. 43

Jamie lore

I like that we get this explanation before the ball. Because rereading we can see how much the "normal" route relates to ani and saskia and it makes us wonder about who else could be

Jamie is different

The fake story of Hirana, and all of the information about her being lied about not just to ellie, but to jamie too, is so so sad.

Ellie wants nothing but Jamie and her to have normal lives. For them to not be connected in this way. "Everyone should get to choose"

I really love that thats echoed in the ending of the series.

Ugh again with the trust. How often do we hear them go we need to trust each other then lottie hides more stuff again. Im tired lottie.

The Cinderella moment 😭😭😭😭

Ch. 44

Let it be known that in the audiobook connie says Queen Matilda

Her "Real Room" makes me so so happy and i cannot wait to eventually read about it again.

In fact does Lottie ever see it!??!?!?! Someone tell me

See this is what i mean about the trust thing.

Im sorry but if a girl i had a crush on pinned me against the wall, said to tell her a secret or shed bite me i think id pass out

"Youll be mad at me" well no shit sherlock

Jamie is an icon and i love him. Never change

Ch. 45

"I cant promise not to be mad, but I'll hear you out" is so eloquent and I'll always have that in my mind

Creepily similar? A resemblance perhaps?

Ellie lying to try and help lottie is sweet but scary. Because how often does she do this?

I really do think that underneath he is pained for lying to his queen. But not just because hes loyal to her, or that it is his job, but also the queen is nurturing and kind and i think he does internalise that

Lottie defending herself to jamie is so painful

I love the difference between jamie "acting pained" and then the following

For anyone who isn't using the audiobook, i want you to understand how terrifying it is when it switches pov here. Because the whole book has been connie, for the prologue was her mum.

But here, theres a male voice. Jamies va.

Jamie recognising all the palace staff is really sweet

The fact that he has such a routine, hes been trained to hide his emotions from everyone including himself.

And the simple sentence of "he broke down" honestly cuts deeper than if it had been fully elaborated. Its so simple. And thats why its so powerful. He cant even cry and feel comfort. He has to retreat away from everyone and everything

Next chapters are the ball and everything so I'll probably do another mega liveblog for those ones!

Its just easier when I'm ill to group them like this!

[disneyparksattractionstournament]

Extinct Disney Parks and Attractions tournament round 2: Group C

Reminder, you don't have had to experience any of the attractions/experiences to vote! Just read in the info and/or watch the vid,then vote for which you wish you would have experienced more/which sounds cooler!

Videos and propaganda/info dumping under cut

Animagique: Walt Disney Studios Park (2002-2016)

Propaganda:

"A wonderful show I miss it every day </3 "

"Studios Paris opened dead and empty, but from opening there was one glimmer of light. I imagine this amazing show must have been a comfort - something you wanted to revisit again and again, in a park where 'Aladdins flying carpets' was a fast pass ride. Plot-wise, it's a lot like Mickey's Philharmagic (or Mickey et son orchestre Philharmagique, as it will be known when it comes to Paris many years later) but it predates this film. Instead of animation, though, it's charming puppetry and stunning live performances. Animagique was a WONDERFUL show and whilst Mickey and the Magician is good, it can't compare to the must-see value that Animagique had every time. It had a good run - 14 years - but I miss it :') "

Spectromagic: Magic Kingdom (1991-1999, 2001-2010)

Propaganda:

"It was the best parade of all time, I will literally never get over them getting rid of it."

THE ACTUAL GOAT HERE FOLKS! TRULY THE BEST AND MOST MAGICAL PARADE DISNEY HAS EVER DONE AND PROBABLY WILL EVER DO! I cry about it everyday tbh. Video doesn't capture just how freaking magical this parade was. The soundtrack is just pure magic and wonder. The lighting effects were absolutely amazing. They even had a Fantasia section with freaking Chernabog! Then the finale part, YALL, it was gorgeous, and would change from black and white to color!!!! I seriously cannot overstate the magic of this parade. It is SUCH a core memory. This is when the parks were at peak magic in my opinion. Don't even get me started on why it ultimately retired, it was literally CAUSE THEY DIDN'T STORE THE FLOATS PROPERLY! LIKE WHAT THE HELL DISNEY! YOU KNOW FLORIDA WEATHER. Makes me burst at the seams that the greatest parade of all time is lost and 99% sure not ever coming back (cause they are waaaay to cheap to produce this parade nowadays) and nkehewnc2jbvif2. Gosh, Id give anything for the parks to go back to this type of entertainment. But just please, PLEASE bring back night parades! There is nothing as magical as a disney night parade !

[seinfeldforlife]

this is cringe or whatever because the internet enjoys rage vitriol and unhappiness but i really am just so proud of myself for getting here. like a couple of the literal worst years of my life and what looked like a failed dream after getting rejected from trinity for a degree i wasnt particularly interested in but thought id be good at and pursued because i was scared of being too dumb for what i actually wanted. this is legitimately a dream come true for me. like i cant tell you how many times i wished that i could study history but thought it would never happen because xyz. i saw a picture of myself from 2014 and i had a poster of the Eiffel Tower hanging on my bedroom wall. this is what was meant to happen. i can finally save uni dorm inspiration photos on Pinterest without a gut wrenching sick fear that it won’t happen. a friend ive known since i was freshly 14, upon telling her I’m going to Sorbonne, told me you deserve this. i do i think

[joculine]

freshman year facebook rp groups and "dnd" friend circles.

its hard to dig back for that. i think it's gone, the original FB group. gone gone. i did a little digging and found a few image scraps, a big text dump.

there are a few others. i can track the freshman year dnd group i was in, from where it started, to all the scene kids showing off their dyed hair, trying to coordinate car pools to see like, the hobbit or whatever was out, dumb little FB post RP chats.

of course, the last post, the one at the top, is the post that killed the group. someone tried to start up a new campaign, i wanted to be a pirate, and then that shitty girl popped in and said "if its not awkward i would also like to be a part."

she kinda fucked up a lot of her friendships at the end of that year. looking back at how the dates line up, i imagine some very tough things were going on for her. she'd come out as trans in about a year or so and i know her parents were shit. its funny, i can dig into that old RP account i have and see she's actually still using hers as of this week. i think it's her primary facebook account.

i flip back through there and see all these messages about how she wants to kill me and beat me up and put me in cages and fuck me and hurt me. she talks unprompted about how she thinks im annoying or gross or dumb as shit and sends me whatever porn shes looking at. and then id go to school the next day and see her and we'd have a fun time. its sort of shocking to look at. but… shes a kid. maybe 14 or 14 years old. shes a huge asshole and really not a good person for me to be around, but shes still just a kid. and i know the same thing was happening to her, but unlike me it was coming from people she didnt know IRL and who were probably too old to be talking to her in the first place. i dont really know what to do with that in hindsight.. maybe i didnt at the time either...

anyway, on that post i see a lot of people commenting that we need to hash out our beef and reconcile. i didnt comment again though.

i look through all those messages and i see someone who is trying very hard to be liked. trying very hard to stay liked. kids are dumb. kids do dumb things to each other. it means a lot in the moment, but in the long run teenagers are just assholes. i think a lot of these people were especially shitty and occasionally both physically and verbally abusive. but they were the friends i had until i broke away. they were important to me.

i tried digging around a little more, to see if i could find my old messages with jack. (this is a different now tboy jack than the one i was posting about last week)

the messages go up to when we started texting. i dont really remember how long we dated and it was all online so was it really dating? ehh. no. i havent counted it since sophmore year. he was a good one though, better than most of the other people there. we both thought the other one hated each other, so we were both kind of mean in person in that way that tweens are. he moved before i ever got the chance to tell him how i felt in person.

its not easy. its not easy to all remember. it was all so long ago. i dont think i want to remember either. it was a time and a place where i felt so lonely.

im glad thats not where i am now. but i miss those people and that time. or i miss what could have happened, if it hadnt fallen apart or if i had made more of an effort or if things were just a little nicer.

its weird.. it was such a weird time to be a kid online. its still a weird time to be a kid online.

in a way, i almost miss it. i miss that thrill of being part of such a large group of people who all had different things going on and all had different relationships to each other. but when i really think about it...

i wish i had been who i had wanted to be. that i had known who i wanted to be. i wish i met these people on the level that they were beginning to come to themselves. i think everyone in that group had a 5 to 6 year headstart on figuring out their deals, as gay or, trans guys, butches, trans fems, etc. i was at bisexual, i know that much. but i retreated from that after i left that group, totally sealed off any thought that i was something other than straight and cis for... about six-ish years. i think it was too painful thinking about how i felt and how it feel apart to dwell on that part of myself that id had the fleeting chance to explore.

one guy there, the one who actually organized most of the RPs and the fanventure, was something else though. i think he knew who he was before anyone else. i think he knew who we all were before we did. he went across the spectrum of butch lesbian to GNC trans man and probably into other explorations of his identity since i knew him. i always found that really inspiring. it meant a lot that he saw me earlier this year when i came out publicly and shared in my joy. "im so happy for you." like he knew. like he always knew. maybe he did. maybe he didnt.

[wordacrosstime]

Practical RF Design Manual

[Practical RF Design Manual by Doug DeMaw (Milton F "Doug" DeMaw). 1997. MFJ Publishing. 2nd Edition 1997 : 246 pages. ISBN 1-891237-00-4]

For many years I was an amateur radio - "ham radio" - operator, beginning when I was 13 years old and going up until I was about 40 years old.  For those who are interested, my call sign was WA6FEB and I held an Extra Class ham radio license (this is the highest classification).  My fascination with radio was fostered by my step-father, the late Sam Martin (WB6WZN, later N7TBV), who had learned his electronics and radio theory while serving in the US Navy.

Sam had many years’ worth of a magazine called QST, which was one of the premier journals available for ham radio enthusiasts.  Doug DeMaw, the author of the book under review here, was a prolific contributor to QST and to other ham radio publications.  I was (and remain) a huge fan of his writings, especially his transmitter and receiver projects for ham radio folks.

What I did not know then, but have come to learn, is that DeMaw was truly a world-class electrical and electronic engineer.  He was known to much of the world as a ham radio person first and foremost, but he was a professional engineer who had an extraordinarily broad grasp of all aspects of radio transmission and reception, covering all power levels from the very tiny (what we in the ham radio community called QRP, or low-power, operation, usually less than 1 watt) to the industrial (the 50,000-watt and 100,000-watt “clear channel” broadcasts from commercial radio stations, for example).  DeMaw was well-versed in design considerations spanning operating frequencies from the US AM broadcast band (560 KHz to 1600 KHz) all the way up to the UHF range (where television broadcast channel 14 begins in the US, or around 470 MHz and beyond).  His knowledge went beyond component-level design of devices to include the design and tuning of antennas and other auxiliary devices to aid in the radio experience.

All of this knowledge is subsumed under the aegis of RF - radio frequency.  RF in modern terms is usually linked to RF ID chips, which are becoming quite common in scenarios that require tracking (such as shipment packages), but this is a very restricted window into the RF world.  To really see just how vast an enterprise RF electronics is, one might consult this book.

This volume is truly a gem.  I dearly wish I had access to it back in the early 1970s when I was first getting into radio.  It would have illuminated a lot of practical design issues for me, especially on the design of receivers.  Receivers are generally more complicated and finicky than transmitters – it’s easier to generate radio energy and cast it out into the universe than it is to gather it in and make sense of it.  This book leads the reader through 7 broad-based topics and roughly 40 overall subsections within those topics, starting with transmitter and receiver fundamentals and leading the reader through considerations related to power regulation, signal quality, the use of different types of components for different frequencies of operation and different power levels, and so on.

Unlike much of DeMaw’s writing with which I had been previously acquainted, this book is definitely not a book for someone looking to do a home project.  There are no comprehensive instructions on assembling or testing transmitters, receivers, or other associated machinery.  This book is written for a true engineer who wants to become familiar with many (most) of the gotchas that accompany real in-the-trenches electronic engineering work.  And in this vein, this book is as useful to a professional radio engineer (such as someone who is the engineer-in-charge at a radio or television station, for instance) as it is to a radio hobbyist.  It is also not the sort of book from which to learn first principles of electronics; for this, there are many more suitable books that introduce electronics at the most elementary level (Ohm’s Law, Kirchhoff’s Law, how vacuum tubes and transistors work, what makes oscillators work, and so on).  This book assumes that the reader already has some engineering skin in the game, as the saying goes.

Whom would I recommend this book to?  Anyone who wishes to know something about electronics that precedes the modern all-digital era where whole systems are embedded on integrated circuit (IC) chips.  While those circuits may make for easier and more controlled design, they take away a lot of the learning, guesswork, and outright fun of figuring these things out for yourself.  DeMaw’s work hearkens back to what many of us current and former ham radio people think of as a sort of golden era of communications – a time before cell phones and before email.

A couple of comments about the text itself:

There are some typos both in the text and on the many diagrams.  For the most part these are easy to spot if you are already versed in basic electronics, but they would be profoundly confusing to someone who doesn’t know what they’re looking at.  Anyone who doesn’t know how to read a basic schematic diagram of a circuit will not find this volume very helpful.

Bearing in mind that some of the material in this book dates to the 1970s and 1980s, it is possible that some of the actual components cited in the text no longer exist or are not easily available.  Happily, the author describes them in sufficient detail that a modern engineer or hobbyist can find current components whose characteristics match what DeMaw had at his disposal when the book was written.  DeMaw was fairly fastidious about describing the important pieces of each circuit or circuit fragment in the book.  One needs but to pay attention to the text to make the connection.

I was delighted to read through this volume.  I am not currently an active hobbyist, but as I near retirement age, I am giving a return to ham radio serious thought.  With that in mind, this book will be an invaluable title in my collection when I once again wield a soldering iron and set out to make some more home-brew radio equipment as I did so many years ago.

[Photo credits with thanks to : Book Cover of 2nd edition 1 August 1997 © 1997 M F J Enterprises Inc / Portrait © Copyright Holder (apologies not known)]

Kevin Gillette

Words Across Time

10 January 2023

wordsacrosstime

[roosterbruiser]

Shit talking exes? Bet.

My only relationship to date was from the ages of 14-17, he was 2 years older than me and basically my only friend because of a bunch of drama with my friends because they couldn’t handle my mood swings/drama that happened with my dads family. (Whole other can of worms). So he was my best friend and my boyfriend, although all his friends let me tag along/were my friends too. Things were good, I think sometimes we both knew we were better as friends but he was also sort of lonely as well and so we just texted all the time or talked on the phone all the time/always were hanging out together and even taking elective classes together to see each other more. Some of his girl friends were sort of flirty to him imo and he’d hang out with them by themselves sometimes and tell me there’s nothing for me to worry about. The girls also always told me I didn’t need to worry. Well he goes off to the navy my right before my senior year. Go to Illinois with his parents and male bestfriend to see him graduate (AFTER seeing a screenshot of a note from his bestfriend - who in all fairness didn’t realize girl’s detective skills and how desperate I was to hear from him when he was basically sending letters to everyone but me/I could tell he wasn’t feeling it (which we had had our moments of basically blah like most long term couples do) - that basically told his buddy how he wished id stop sending him letters in boot because I was annoying and clingy etc.) so my dumb self should have not gone but I was happy for him and did. While we were there a girl he knew from boot couldn’t have family come so she hung out with us that day.. come to find out he was basically cheating on me in boot camp with her and even risking a lowkey dd if they had gotten in trouble (according to another friend of mine) and told me after he was in A school. My dumbass still spent 6 months of us still sort of “trying” to work it out and just kinda being friends and hurt by each other/over it but refusing to officially end it because it was our first relationship and how does one end something with someone who it’s been 3 years with? By the time we actually split it was 3 1/2 years to the day that we decided on New Years Eve while he was back in town that we would be over. Still spent the two weeks he was home before that together though.. fast forward 2 months and one of his old girlfriends is messaging me saying he’s flirting with her and asking me what’s up and so I told her we split and that it was fine if she decided to see what happened with him. 4 months later they were engaged and a few months later she was pregnant. He came back for my highschool graduation (so right around when they got engaged) and it was nice to sort of have my friend back without all the hurt since it had been a few months. Man lowkey tried to say he wished we had had sex - we did other things but never actually intercourse because he was big on no sex till marriage (WHICH LOOK HOW THAT TURNED OUT BUDDY) *just making it known that here I am at 27 still a virgin* - and I obviously was like uhhh no. LOL. Once he left after my graduation we never really talked again and just drifted apart. All in all I learned a lot, and tbh it’s not like I hate him bc he still was my bestfriend throughout highschool even though we both sometimes were horrible to each other. I am a little salty looking back though bc I might have been one of those horrible teenage girlfriends that we are a lot of at 16 bc you don’t know better but he really did do some fucked up things there that I didn’t deserve and that really fucked with my already low self esteem/body image issues. Bc of course then I was wondering if it was bc I was plus sized etc.

I know that was a lot but figured I’d jump on the shitty ex train.

I am so glad you did jump on the crazy ex train!! holy moly!! this read as a very epic saga!!

after reading your story, I just want to say that I am SO HAPPY you understand your self-worth!! you truly deserve all the good things in the world and if you're with someone who doesn't believe that, kick them to the curb!!

I will say, ending long-term relationships is literally so fucking hard, even if they're circling the drain. especially if it's a first!! I admire your strength and growth so much!!

and pls know you have so many fans here now!! that is such a slay moment for you!! I love the self-love and realizing you're worth MORE!!

[parasolids]

.

my grandfather is dying. he’s never not been dying really, or at least for as long as i’ve been able to remember. i have one memory of him being able to hold a coherent conversation; i was 7 eating fava beans with him at a restaurant in kuwait. i brought it up to him last time i saw him. he didn’t remember anything. or maybe he did, but it’s not like it matters, because he probably didn’t understand what i was saying, and i wouldn’t understand what he was saying, because he has parkinson’s and can barely speak. but at this point it seems real.

my grandfather loves to talk. my grandfather is the reason my mom never got to go to college. my grandfather is the reason i don’t want to get old, because he was dying when i was sixteen. he was visiting us, and my parents and i went out to watch a movie, and when we got home he was having the beginnings of a heart attack, which none of us realized until the next morning because the only symptom he was having was arm pain. now i’m 24 and he’s still alive, but really only nominally, because he can’t walk, talk, eat, think. he has alzheimer’s now. last time we met he thought my mom - his daughter - was his cousin. he doesn’t recognize my cousin and they live together.

i want to feel something about this so badly but at the end of it all i never knew him. i lived with him for months at a time but i couldn’t ever have a conversation with him that either of us would understand. same story with all of my grandparents: my dad’s father died before my parents met, his mother hated me and my mom due to dumb colorism. my moms mother died when i was 14 but i never had a proper conversation with her. my only real memory of her is her offering me a glass of water when i was 7. language barriers made it impossible to hold a conversation with any of them ever. i wonder what it’s like to have grandparents who told you stories of when they were young, who you could talk to.

i don’t know, either way it’s…… years more of my grandfather surviving and everyone, including him, being absolutely miserable because his needs are so complex that for years on end nobody can get an afternoon to go out or whatever, or this is the end, which is devastating in a much different way. idk. feels so heartless to not feel that much about it but the only real memories i have of him are my mom crying and my uncle freaking out because trying to care for him in the house was a literal 24/7 ordeal that nobody had any training for and i don’t know i’m still crying for some reason maybe because i can’t stand this for my mom and because i wish id known him at all

[woodsywizard]

Hey! Thank you for all the wonderful information today and T and how it’s impacted your life. It’s made me feel a lot better about starting it myself and going through this.

The only real thing that I’m afraid of is the family dynamic stuff. My parents know that I’m trans but they struggle with pronouns very much and sometimes I feel as if they want it to just go away. You know? I desperately want to start T and be excited about it because it’s been something I’ve wanted for years but ai find myself being very afraid of what my parents, specifically my mother, will say. I’ve brought it up before and she was very visibly uncomfortable. So. That’s nice. I just want to live for myself but I feel like I’m so stuck because I want my parents to accept me and see me as I am. But I feel like whenever I go home to visit I’m 14 and freshly out of the closet again and I don’t know what to think or do.

I think you asked if anyone knew online that I was transitioning and the answer is no. Id like that to be different tbh because it’s a lot harder to do this with people who know me.

Thank you again for all the advice. I greatly appreciate it.

I absolutely know. My parents were pretty shit about it when I started T. They would pretend to support me when around me but actively misgender and deadname me when alone with each other. I figured it out Bc they struggled with my pronouns way more than my sisters did, and some of my sisters had known for less time. And then my mom handed me her phone to text my dad and I saw it for real 😭😭😭

What I have noticed is that they are going to be uncomfortable about starting hormones regardless of how far along you get them if they are still in the misgendering stage. They will claim early on to want to support you and wish the best for you, but when you show them what would be the best for you they are afraid that they can’t Fix You if you do it. They can’t ever Make you not trans anymore if you start hormones, and they can’t pretend it’s all some phase if you do that. There’s also tons of fear mongering about hormones happening right now, so it’s likely they’ve heard a bunch of bullshit about people being told they want hormones and not actually knowing anything about it and going into it without really getting it. They might even actively try to read said bullshit to see their beliefs justified by what looks like a valid source. They are worried their kid is being tricked, because that worry is far easier to feed than acknowledging their deeper fear that their kid IS trans and they have to cope with the consequences of that reality. If you really ARE trans and more importantly if you really ARE medically trans, it means that they would have to support you instead for your benefit and they don’t Want To Do That, so they choose to modify the part where you’re a REAL transgender, you’re just their confused kid who has time to go back on it.

In my experience at least they won’t voice these concerns To You Until you start making choices they disagree with or maybe never at all to you but to other family. I find it best to just straight up address them right away. Go through the whole routine and answer every kind of question that wasn’t asked. Here’s all the information about hormones, parents. Here’s what it will do to me and what I would like it to do. Here’s how it is injected. Here’s an article on why it actively has been shown to Benefit trans people to get HRT.

I suggest using this coming out method I’m linking below but for talking about hormones instead. It’s hard for parents to accept their kid is trans For Sure even if they have years of time to come to terms with it because they have to actually spend that time doing the work to get over their transphobia and a lot of parents spend that time pretending nothing has changed. You have to actively address all their unspoken fears if you want to get to the core of their Misgendering you so you can make Them think about why they’re doing it too. They won’t often get there on their own. It can be scary as fuck though, which is why I recommend taking tips from this method I linked where it’s nicer and gentler and not as confrontational as I am. But being mean and confrontational did work for me so that route is also an option.

If you wanna message me about this stuff or get in touch with a bunch of random trans guys I can try to link you up with more of us!! I absolutely am willing to just chat about it or even unrelated stuff as well. It’s so much harder to do it alone than with folks to document it with!! It’s fun to be able to make posts online like YOOO EVRRYBODY JUST GREW ASS HAIR TODAY Y’know? I suggest forming some kind of set of people probably preferably online who you can just talk about it with! Tumblr is honestly probably the easiest bet for that it’s crawling with us. It’s also fun in my opinion to know online strangers to talk about T wirh because the experience can be so different and yet the same. I think solidarity can feel like a weight off the chest to be honest.

I’m glad to be of help!! Feel free to message me again and also if any of this advice helps that’s great. I am just some guy but I surely have experienced some things 😭😭😭

[astraldreams-ids]

id: webweaving comprised of written text and dungeon meshi panels.

1) "Q: Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted? A: No. but I once got very close. Q: What happened? A: I don't know. Everything disappears. Even dreams. I suppose I just flew too close to the sun." 2) Marcille, crying, looking at the Winged Lion's book in her hand. 3) Marcille, with open hair and a shocked expression, sitting on the Winged Lion's hand, as it talked to her with a serene expression. 4) "Very early in my life it was too late." 5) Marcille and her mother, both wearing funeral attire. Marcille is crying as her mother places a hand upon her shoulder and tells her: "You run at a different pace than everyone else. From now on, you'll have to watch as others pass before you." 6) "Because you are no longer an angel but a person all alone on two tired feet upon this earth that turns, that wakes terribly young every morning." 7) Marcille, with her hair undone and a frightened/sad expression. She is bundled up in a shawl/poncho, and ascending dark stairs. 8) The stairs are now crumbling beneath Marcille's feet as she is running and reaching out towards a closed wooden door at the top of them. 9) "[…] she left this one. (highlighted) I invented a world because death is unknowable and someone I loved was about to live there. (end highlight)" 10) Marcille, in her nightmare as a child, sobbing, yells: "Everyone gave up on running together with me and got swallowed up by it! Papa! Pipi! And Farlyn, too! Everybody!! That's why i studied magic so hard…" 11) "Desire is no light thing." 12) Marcille, with tears in her eyes, yet determined: "I want to eliminate the differences in lifespans across all the races." 13) Closeups on the Winged Lion and Marcille, continuing from previous panel. Lion: "'All the people in the world', you say… Indeed, that isn't the kind of wish that could be fulfilled with a mere half-hearted desire. However, you came to this dungeon filled with the resolution to see it through, correct?" Marcille, still crying, resolutely: "Of course!" 14) "You're addicted to loneliness and desperation. It's the strongest emotion you've ever known, so your subconscious tell you that it's your destiny." 15) Thistle, mocking Marcille in his house: "Half-breeds cannot live their lives in the same flow of time as any other race! A hundred years from now, nobody will be there to sit around a table and share a meal with you! Does that make you terrified? Is that why you desire the dungeon's power? So you can change your fate?" Marcille looks shocked, unsure, then replies: "No, you're wr-…!! That's not…!!" 16) "Still, there is this terrible desire to be loved. Still, there is this horror at being left behind." 17) Marcille, surrounded by the party's corpses. She's leaning against Laios', as if in a hug. "Did you even stop to think about what it would be like for me to be surrounded by everyone's dead bodies…?" 18) "We want to hear someone say, 'I give you my heart,' meaning, 'summer and winter,' meaning, 'all my time in this world,'" 19) Marcille, in her dungeon lord outfit, looking up at Laios: "I just want to live out my life with all of you at my side. In order to do that, is it so wrong for me to wish to keep death at bay?" 20) "Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story." end id.

Doomed from the beginning

Unknown / Marguerite Duras / Blanca Varela / Ramona Ausubel / Anne Carson / Heather Havrilesky / Michael Cunningham / Lisel Mueller / Richard Siken x Dungeon Meshi by Ryoko Kui

[agathasroad]

Overnight bag, popcorn, and doll 👀

[overnight bag] what’s in your bag?

I usually have hand sanitiser, my bank card/id, tissues, keys, a collection of loose change and broken pin badges, chewing gum, and my perfume (Ariana grande mod blush for daytime, and Prada paradoxe for nights out - cause yes I’m that kind of person😅) also if I am on a night out, I’ll always bring stuff to touch up my eyes/lips/foundation throughout the night

[popcorn] when you were young, which film encapsulated the life you wanted to lead when you were “grown up”?

Well considering The Lizzie McGuire Movie is my favourite film, I’ll go with that one lmao

I mean, c’mon, who didn’t wish they could have the trip of a lifetime where you rode around Rome on a moped and ended up singing the most iconic song known to man with your famous doppelgänger and humiliated a man in the colosseum?? That was my dream.

[doll] tell us about your crush! (Or dream person)

Idk if I necessarily have a crush rn? I can take a bit to warm up to people😅

But if we’re talking dream person: definitely someone with more confidence than me - I have social anxiety and need someone to help me open up in social situations by osmosis lmao. And lbr… a confident woman? 😍🥰

Similar interests is a big one. Like I genuinely don’t think I could vibe on a real enough level with someone who doesn’t understand fandom? Just cause it’s such a core of my life since I was like 14 lmao (so either glee, video games, doctor who, drag, etc) I get super into the media that I love and I’d love to be able to be a nerd and share that with someone💕

The same political beliefs are a BIG deal breaker. I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t at least somewhat lean into more ‘leftist’ ideology (aka, common human decency). For example: if you don’t believe we should be protecting trans rights and especially protecting trans people of colour, I don’t trust you.

I would say taller than me but that’s too easy to achieve considering I’m almost 5 foot fuck all lmao Also an accent that is not mine? Ummm…yeah love that lmao

[biotech-news-feed]

The stigma surrounding complex mental health is such that Elfy Scott completed a psychology degree to learn more – but even that fell shortGet our weekend culture and lifestyle emailWhen I was first told that my mum was living with schizophrenia #BioTech #science

[kawaiigirlii17]

My Period Survival Kit

Y’all this won’t apply to some but to if you get bad periods, you know there is a need for an arsenal against the symptoms so you can try to function and get shit done, because sometimes you can’t call in. So now that that’s out of the way here is how I survive my periods.

painkillers. This is something that not everyone will want to do but I’ll mention what I do, and what my doctor approved for me to do. I take a dose and a half of midol (or any acetominophen product) every four hours then I take a dose and a half of aspirin after two hours so that I always have active pain meds in my system. These two types of pain meds can be safely taken together without side effects

Nausea mangement. Now I know I’m not the only one who gets nauseous during their period so what I do is a) eat what I can when I’m feeling ok, and if all you want to eat or think you can handle eating is chocolate and crackers then know that’s about all I can eat too just eat something man and b) get yourself some ginger gravol, it will help with the nausea without adding extra meds into your system

How to sleep/lounge. I for one keep my room super cold during my period so I don’t overheat, I’ll crack open the window and turn my fan on so the room is cold. Then I’ll have a heating pad/hot water bottle on my lower stomach area where the cramps are, and if I have both then I’ll do one on my back as well, if I don’t (I’m away or whatever) I’ll rub a5-35 into my back (or icy hot or similar) and use my heated blanket if I can, just something to make my muscles relax a bit. If you have a tub in your house I would also highly recommend a bath with magnesium flakes to relax your muscles but I don’t have a tub so I’m out of luck.

Honestly if something is going to make you happy on your period, and it doesn’t hurt you or someone else, just do it. Binge watch that show, make that pizza, get a good cry in. Don’t let people make you feel bad for what you can’t control. My doctor has no idea why my periods are bad, there’s no reason she can find physicallyand we’ve tried everything under the sun to fix them and it doesn’t work. So manage the symptoms and love your life. I wish someone would have told me this when I was 14 and confused as to why I was in so much pain but no one else seemed to be so I’m making this post for all the girls like me who just need someone to say you’re not alone and here’s some ways to try and make it a bit better.