#what finland did today

[bluecookiesabi]

Why do I keep wanting to eat salty licorice

[dracimexidae]

Sofia and Ale my beloved 🥹🥰

[auspicioustidings]

Based on this. You are in Finland full of self-loathing and the 141 needs a fat wife if they want to win some beer.

You aren't exactly on holiday in Finland. It should be your honeymoon but since you caught your groom balls deep in your maid of honour you instead have used it as an escape from the country. You just cannot be around the people you love right now, can't have them all look at you with all that pity. Even worse is that some of them probably don't even blame him. Your former best friend is a size 8, perfect hourglass figure. Your former partner is trim and decently fit. They look like they belong together more than you and him ever did.

You hate yourself. You hate looking in the mirror. You hate how clothes fit you. You deserved it you think.

"Not a chance MacTavish, that's my wife!"

"Away and biel yer heid, I saw her first!"

"Actually I saw her first!"

"I outrank all of you muppets so I think you'll find that is my wife!"

It's a racket in the little cafe but you don't pay much mind, still just staring out the window and wondering if you could ever deserve anything. One of the servers comes to take your empty cup and grins at you, telling you in her heavy accent that she would personally go for the one with the mask since he's the biggest. You don't understand when you look around and there are a lot of locals smiling happily over at you while four Greek Gods of men are having a scuffle, moving slowly in your direction. More people chip in, arguing about who you should pick, some lamenting that they would claim you themselves if they thought they could.

One big man does try, basically some Viking God, but he's playfully (you hope it's playful) spear tackled by the man with the mohawk before he laughs and backs off.

When Gaz with warmed cheeks and excitement in his eyes gets to you while Soap is busy with the viking and Ghost and Price are wrestling one another he asks if you'd do him the honour of being his wife. You nearly choke, but he explains that the wife carrying competition is today. You look around, bewildered, ask him why he wouldn't pick any of the other women in here given that they are all gorgeous slim things.

"Fuck all use to us, need a nice soft bird with lots of fat" says the man in the mask.

Price scowls and whacks his lieutenant upside the head because he sees how you look a second away from crying.

"You're gorgeous sweetheart, he didn't mean anything by it. The prize is the wife's weight in beer though, so he's right about a little lady not being much use."

You don't know what to say. You don't know if this is mortifying or not given that everyone around you seems to not be looking at you with sneers or laughing at you, but instead looking with soft smiles that convey fondness. They think this is adorable.

"Dinnae listen tae their nice soft birds and sweethearts! I'll be a better husband bonnie. I'm shorter aye bit look at the power in these legs, naw going tae drop ye. And I'll split that beer 50/50!"

And then they're arguing. The four of them are arguing and trying to put forward a case to you about why they would be the best husband. When it starts to get raunchy, you fluster and stop them. But fluster is something. It's not self loathing. It's been weeks since you felt anything but self loathing. So even though you are sure everyone can feel the heat rolling off of you in waves at how bashful you are under so much attention from such attractive men, you pick one (the others are devastated but vow that you're only a wife for the competition, that after they should get another shot at convincing you that they're the best option).

And they do. Even though the man you picked doesn't win (gets DQ'd actually since you are heavy and he decided that you were getting over that damn finish line so the four of them took turns) they take you out for drinks after. You think you feel humiliated that they couldn't carry you a long distance, but you don't have time to sit with the feeling because they drown it out with how warm and giddy they make you feel.

They insist that they will compete next year, so you have 365 days to pick a husband. When you make a quiet comment about how you'll lose weight by then so they can carry you the whole way, they nearly riot as they assure you that they would be a shit pick for husband if they didn't spent the year getting stronger so they can carry you just how you are. Plus they'll not be losing any beer thank you very much.

By the time the next wife carrying competition rolls around you are a different person. You're wearing clothes that fit instead of trying to hide your body. You laugh and flirt back with the barista instead of assuming they are making fun of you by flirting. And you don't care if your husband makes it over the finish line, just that you have fun and laugh and joke about the attempt. Of course it's not entirely certain who that husband is yet, got to keep them on their toes after all.

[bisnes-socks]

i added my thoughts to the takavoltti lyrical analysis here but today i want to talk about why i think takavoltti is one of käärijä's most finnish songs ever.

this got a bit long, so just so you know what to expect going in: what i mean by most finnish is that there are references and tone of voice that are very specific to finland, there is complex use of the finnish language AND there are melodic/musical choices in the song that sound very finnish to me.

okay, here goes.

the dialogue that opens the song is already a sort of key moment to this finnishness of it all. when he says "emmä tiedä, kolisee jos kolisee, mut mun on pakko sit koittaa vetää tosi matalalla" he is doing a bit of a voice but more than that, he is talking in a way that is not quite his. his inflection, the rhythm, those are not natural to him or his dialect. you can hear it particularly when he says "koittaa vetää tosi matalalla". i don't know if it's at all easy to hear if you're not finnish, but it's not.. a serious voice or tone. the other two voices, one of them is modified to be high and the other talks like a sports announcer. the whole scene is quite comedic and it's a very specific genre of comedy that is very finnish indeed. it's also the type of thing he has been doing since always. (EDIT: OKEI MORE CONTEXT IN A REBLOG HERE)

funnily enough, you guys know köpi kallio now, the therapist in skit and autiomaa video? yeah köpi and his long time partner in crime viki are good examples of this type of humour i would say. they have their own podcast/show called viki ja köpi show but before that they were radio hosts and have been working together for ten years. the character voices and the whole vibe of the scene in the beginning of the song is very viki ja köpi to me, very ylex type comedy (yes ylex the radio station who did the ruisrock interview who still isn't back from the war).

and the small comedy bits stay in there through out the song, and they continue to have the same delivery instantly recognisable as comedic.

and that isn't to say the subject matter can't be serious. i think, again, this is something that feels inherently finnish to me. other finnish people feel free to chime in because this is hard to explain, but our culture is one where coping through making light of things is quite normal. and our sense of humour tends to be on the darker side, at least if you compare it to the american style of comedy that has taken over globally. so to make a song about there being too many demands on you and how you have a problem with setting boundaries and agreeing to insane shit, but to do it by interjecting the song with jokes just idk.. it sits in our culture lmao.

i honestly don't know how to explain this better, but quite dark comedic elements like this (after all he gets properly fucked up in the stunts it seems) in a song with a serious subject matter is something we've been doing for decades in this country (juice leskinen, for example) and it is something so loved by finnish people. we love a song that is just fucked up on multiple levels. käärijä is just adding his own style to this cultural history.

okay, onto the language.

the verse opens with "tekevälle sattuu" which is a finnish proverb.

quick finnish lesson: the word sattua in finnish means both to hurt and to happen. the word tehdä means to do but tehdä kipeää means hurting. like.. now that i think about it tämä tekee kipeää = this is doing (me a) hurt is valid and correct finnish lmao.

tekevälle sattuu, the proverb, actually means "things happen to those who do" but he is playing with the different meanings here, because he goes on to say "ain sattuu ku tekee" which can both mean "things always happen when you do" or it can mean "it always hurts when you do". then he goes on to say "ku tekee, ku kipee, ni kipeetä tekee" which is once again playing with words, because kipee here means both pain but also being sick. "ku tekee, ku kipee" would translate as "when you do as if you're sick" and "kipeetä tekee" means that it hurts.

so to recap (i'm not trying to provide a smooth translation, but highlight his wordplay:

tekevälle sattuu = things/pain happen to those who do [things]

ain sattuu ku tekee = shit happens/you get hurt when you do [things]

ku tekee, ku kipee, ni kipeetä tekee = when you do [things] like you're sick [in the head], you get hurt

so this is all to say two things: he's using the finnish language in a very clever way that really only becomes clear if you know the language and all of these idioms and proverbs. and also that he is very good at what he does. it has taken me four paragraphs to explain 13 words.

and he doesn't even end there. "oon yllytyshullu, ain hulluksi yllyn" is more play on words. jesus, jere. okay guys, stay with me.

yllytyshullu i explained in my previous analysis, but recap: yllytys means incitement and hullu means crazy. yllytyshullu is someone who does crazy shit when prompted.

"ain hulluksi yllyn" here he is using the word yltyä which is the same root as yllytys, but yltyä means usually more like.. to intensify. (for example: sade yltyy = the rain is getting heavier, or tuuli yltyy = the wind is picking up)

so to say hulluksi yllyn, he's saying like.. i let myself be incited and/or i always take it to the max, to the point of crazy.

and then he uses very clever rhyming words: "ja tää hullunmylly on kylmempi kylpy". hullu means crazy, mylly means mill, hullunmylly is basically a hullabaloo.

as you can tell, all of this is like bordering on impossible to translate accurately into a smooth translation. and that's just the first verse, but i'd be here all night if i explained the whole entire song 😭

and this to me is a very clear sign that no matter what sort of an audience he has internationally, he's not compromising on his language. and i find that admirable and, as a finnish person, very comforting too. this song is sort of reassuring, like he is reinserting himself very firmly into finnish culture, with the language and the comedy that do not translate very well. 

and if you look at the pre-chorus and chorus, the specific references keep coming: calling him kärtsä (finnish people have a lot of nicknames for him), "hyppää kybäst pommi" the slang use of kybä to mean ten meters, he mentions duudsonit (the dudesons) and he mentions jorvi hospital. all of these feel like he is signalling to a very finnish audience. (also "oon syypää sun hymyyn" could count as a cheek reference, cheek used to be like the biggest rapper in finland).

okay, time for melody and music speak. i only have one simple point here: melodically and musically speaking that has to be the most suomi iskelmä chorus i've heard from him. ever.

you could take that melody and insert it as the chorus to like any song on iskelmä radio. iskelmä is a finnish schlager music genre. kind of impossible to describe but something that finnish people will instantly recognise. the opening, with the piano synth could also open an iskelmä song.

very suomi, very iskelmä.

so.

all of this is why i think takavoltti is about as finnish as it gets. a suomi iskelmä about having serious issues with boundaries that uses clever finnish and paints a comedic picture of a banged up black-eyed käärijä who has dislocated his shoulder but is still showing thumbs up is like.. so much finnish condensed into three and a half minutes.

i know not everyone thinks the song is hilarious but i do. it's both hilarious and very serious and that's how we like it here.

and of course the fact that there is an "ai vittu" in there. we like that too.

[homunculus-argument]

Me and my boyfriend have ended up watching surprising amounts of WW2 british war rationing content - mainly modern brits trying to survive one or two weeks on the same kind of rations. Apparently they had rationing for tea, but not coffee, and I was already about to laugh at their british distress before it occurred to me that I have no idea how I would survive finnish coffee rations of the time. So we were both curious to actually try this out, but unfortunately there doesn't seem to be exact info online on not just what goods were rationed in Finland, but how much did each individual get.

If you've ever wondered what those "I wanted to dig a ditch on the backyard to see if I could live in it but my wife said no" dudes would be doing with their lives if they weren't married, I guess this is what it looks like when two of those date each other. Today I watched my boyfriend chop a log into firewood in the living room with a belt knife and another log, and it was neat.

[grantmentis]

U18 Women's World Championship 2025: What To Know

The U18 Women’s World Championship for the top division in women’s hockey starts today! Here is everything you need to know. 

WHO

The tournament is divided into Groups A and B. 

Group A consists of Finland, Japan, USA, and Sweden,

Group B consists of Czechia, Canada, Slovakia, and Switzerland. 

All rosters are here 

WHAT

A round-robin series in each group will rank each teams before all eight go to the quarterfinals in the following format: 1A vs. 4B, 1B vs. 4A, 2A vs. 3B and 2B vs. 3A. The two last placed teams will play a relegation round. Full rules here. 

WHEN

Schedule: January 4th to January 12th

Yes, like this morning. Most of these games will start before noon for you if you are in North America. 

WHERE

The games are in Vantaa, Finland. 

TSN will air all games that have USA and Canada, and NHL Network will air all games that have USA, but only using TSN’s broadcast. Winning gold in the previous year, unfortunately, does not constitute getting your own home broadcast for USA hockey. In Finland, matches will be on TV5 channel and Max streaming service. Unfortunately, I struggled to find broadcast information for the remaining countries. If anyone has more information, please add! 

WHY? 

The U18 Worlds fucking rules. We’ve had two major upsets (Czechia over Canada, Sweden over USA) in the semifinals in the last two years. This is your first chance to lay eyes on some of the future stars of women’s hockey. If you’re older than 18 you get to have a crisis about how old you are. It’s the best. 

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THESE TEAMS? 

I did a (very deep) dive into each and every team, complete with expectations for each team, standout player/storylines, and some highlights. If interested, you can read here.

[beelearnsfinnish]

weekly recap: week 01 [30.12.24-05.01.25]

i decided to start doing weekly recaps as a way to keep myself accountable not only with language learning but with all my studying in general. So, peep my new rug and Pikku Myy cup, as well as the moomin calendar i got for christmas! let's see:

studying

Finnish

As I said in my last Finnish update, I hadn't been doing much this past weeks. I've restarted again, but I'm aware this two months are not gonna be the best, since I need to focus in all my tests happening in February. Still, I wanna try and find time for it everyday, even if its just couple minutes.

I'll add the tracker of what I did this week (only started counting the 1st tho) but yeah managed to get a session of active studying and one of writing besides my immersion. I'll continue my lessons next week so looking forward to that.

My degree

To be honest I don't normally have to spend much time with this. I only have three subjects this year, and since I'm studying online and have no classes I don't need to do much during the year. The only stressful times are when I have to turn in papers and exams. This being said, I do need to turn in papers next two weeks, and I have my midterms at the start of February, so I am indeed stressed :D

I started revising the content for one of the subject's paper, which is already something. I usually get decently good grades without much stress since its the second degree im doing in the topic and almost everything sounds familiar already, but last two papers with this teacher didn't go that well (imo bc of her way aka inexisting way of explaining the papers) so im kinda pissed off :D

I didn't need good grades in this degree since its kinda useless having already my previous one, but since there's the possibility of going in erasmus again i want good grades to hopefully get into the program again. Soo, this next weeks I gotta grind and start doing the papers as well as start working on the units.

Hygieniapassi test

New addition! Since my plan is to move to Finland hopefully this year (still don't know how or when but we're getting there) and getting a job of my area (media production) is impossible without experience anywhere, I'd need to get a regular no studies entry level job and I thought I could make things easier for myself and get it before the move. I'm going there late February, so thats my deadline!

Actually signed up today for the exam. I have been working on the material in the app for the past two weeks ish, I only have two courses left to copy into my notebook (I physically can't retain any info if I don't write it myself) so I'm hoping to finish them before my papers are due! I still have to work on a schedule so I have time for everything, but pretty happy so far.

life updates

work

Christmas rush is coming to an end, but we have an inventory coming soon, which means extra hours and extra stress. Not the most ideal thing with all the studying I have to do, but we'll survive i guess :'D

hobbies & social life

To be honest I don't have much time for hobbies these days, but that's something I wanna change. Went to see Nosferatu with a friend at the start of the week (loved it) and we have another 3 movies lined up for the next weeks (can you tell i love going to the cinema). Also planning couple meet ups with different friend groups, this doesn't happen often since couple of them we don't see eachother in months, but seems like everything's happening at the same time. Stressful, but happy to get to see them!! Also meeting with my bookclub, so gotta finish the book of the month at some point.

Also something I'm super excited about, booked my flights to Finland!! Already mentioned I was going in February but actually having the flights its a life changer when it comes to waiting. Can't wait to be back 😊

media update

📖: The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - V. E. Schwab

🎬: Nosferatu - 4 ⭐️

🎧: Nonbeliever - Lucy Dacus

[cartoonistcoop]

ShortBox Comics Member Interview: Otava Heikkilä

Throughout the month of October, the Cartoonist Cooperative will be sharing interviews with members of the Co-op who have a new comic available at the ShortBox Comics Fair 2024! 

NOTE: The Cartoonist Cooperative is not affiliated, associated, authorized, endorsed by, or in any way formally connected with ShortBox.  

Today’s spotlight is Otava Heikkilä and their new comic for ShortBox, Home by the Rotting Sea 

We’d love it if you could introduce yourself and tell us about your background in comics.

Otava Heikkilä: Hey, I’m Otava, a thirty-something comic artist from Finland whose work focuses on narrative, usually historically inspired, usually dark fiction, for queer adults. I’ve been self-publishing comics online since 2010, and my works have been published by indie publishers like Iron Circus Comics and Quindrie Press from 2016 onwards. My piece for ShortBox Comics Fair 2024 will be my 14th comic to see a release. I don’t really know why I make comics, but it’s the primary driving compulsion I have in life. Sad, or awesome, or both!

Tell us more about your new comic?

OH: Home by the Rotting Sea is about two former playthings from the Human King’s harem. This world has ended after a climate event, and the ice caps have melted, and everything that’s left is this hot, rotting world without trees. The usual things still thrive there: Kings with big enough armies to confiscate land for themselves. But after the ice caps melted, humans have gotten in contact with another humanoid species who used to live behind the glaciers: the Väki, who the humans call giants, because they’re bigger than us. The territories are under dispute, and to smooth over the latest injury, the Human King sends those two former playthings, Ilta and Laulu, and a cart full of jewelry and furs, to the Väki as an appeasement. The comic itself starts here, and we see Ilta and Laulu learning to live among the Väki. It’s an existential slice of life.

Tell us about your creative process; how did you develop this comic and what are the steps you took to bring it to the final stage?

OH: While developing a new comic, I usually have a few interests that compel me, and a few more that bother me, and I end up alchemizing those together. In recent years I’ve been interested in prehistory and the other humanoid species that lived alongside us in the past. Everybody wants to make a story about how we might’ve felt about the Neanderthals, and I think I’d like to make it too. This is kind of a go at that story, but I wanted to make it fictional and unrelated to our real world relatives. Chasing historical accuracy with a story about prehistory is inherently kind of an impossible, funny thing anyway, and I’ve understood I’m not well-read enough for it (If you are, and would like me to illustrate it for you, hit me up).

So the speculative anthropology was the compelling part. The bothering part was/is the genocide in Palestine that broke into a hell on earth while I was developing the comic. I want to make it clear that my comic doesn’t matter in any meaningful way under this terrible light, but the events are inside all of us and making us sick; my comic is about the death of a people and a land because somebody at the top can’t stop eating the world until there’s nothing left. It’s impossible to make it and have it be unaffected by what’s happening. This was the hardest story to make for me because I’ve bagged so much grief inside it, and hope too.

I’ve also been through chronic pain this year, and I made a lot of the backgrounds of the comic with my left hand, which is in somewhat less pain than my right one. It’s kind of stupid to suffer for pictures, and I will try not to do it going forward, but probably I will.

Does a sense of audience, even if it’s just an audience of one, enter into your creative process? If yes, how so?

OH: Yeah, of course. It’s the need to make a connection to somebody and to feel and see the same thing with brief but great precision. It’s a kind of truth-sharing, because I find it hard to share my real self in my personal life. Or maybe those two things aren’t connected, I don’t know. I’m always thinking about the individual on the other side.

Can you talk about your visual style? How did you develop it?

OH: I think art comes to me easily and because of that I’m lazy about it. I don’t use as much reference as I should, and there’s a general ground floor chaos to everything; my work is worse for it. I’ve tried to tighten the ship and learn better fundamentals as I’ve gotten older, and the result is, I guess, interesting. I do big compositional color blocks first, then lines and detail. I went to art school for my Bachelor’s degree and retained nothing from there except a general superiority complex about having an art degree and some painting fundamentals, which make my workflow slower than it should be for digital comics. Sense of dimensions and scale, color, and clarity of the reading experience are important to me.

Read the rest of the interview HERE! And dont forget to check out the Shortbox Comics Fair to support these lovely creators!!

[paikothecateater]

Incorrect Nordic quotes!

Denmark: uh... What are you two doing?

Iceland: Norway has the flu, and he can't taste anything, so we're trying to see how weird we can go on a condiment combo before he tastes it.

Denmark: and how's that going?

Iceland: we're at mustard, jam and vinegar.

Norway: I taste nothing.

Iceland: yes! Alright, I'm gonna add some hot sauce.

Denmark: you two are so weird... Add ranch.

Sweden: uhm... What do you have there?

Finland: well, uh... I tried coffee this morning, and it wasn't really doing it for me...

Sweden: so it's tea?

Finland: I did try tea too, but it was also just... Not doing it.

Sweden: so... What's that?

Finland: it's uhm... It's coffee and tea together...

Sweden:...

Finland: I call it... Cea...

Norway: Denmark, why are you holding a towel on Iceland's head?

Denmark: it's... Dry ice.

Norway: you are a moron.

Iceland: he's done this three times today. I've had this towel on my head for three hours for this stupid joke.

[potatounicoorn]

Käärijä's Helsinki live concert, mid-speeches translated

Okay as promised I will try to translate Käärijä's speeches of his concert. I am doing this as training for my English exam so I will make mistakes. Also Käärijä speaks in Finnish spoken language, and it has more slang than written language. So the translations are a polished versions of his speeches. Please correct me on my grammar mistakes! :D

---

"Good friends! Welcome to Käärijä's journey!

---

"Just like that. There is a lot of you. I heard some people have been waiting for a week in there. That requires skills. Thank you for that. Good lord give your self a big applause for this."

"Käärijä in Vantaa. From Vantaa. A sold-out Black box (the concert)."

"Nobody would have believed this. Not you, not me, no one. But accidents happen to everyone and now one happened to Käärijä.

"Amazing, let's continue."

(applause)

"Oh don't start yet, I'll take my jacket off. (A friends name?) take my jacket off."

"This leather is a bad choice for the outfit cause there are flames and everything. Leather against leather.

(The Finnish word for skin and leather is nahka so it's a fun play with words).

"A sip of water and we will continue."

"But one question! Did we come here to have fun? (Crowd cheers) Okay then we will continue."

---

"Thank you"

"Hey! Now there is this thing, and I am hoping that this friend who is coming here has drunk water. So that he won't go into the pyres, because today this one guy has a bachelor party."

(The guy in question appears, and Käärijä speaks to him. The guy wears a monkey suit)

"And I bet. And I bet you don't get any further. This will remain as a bachelor party. And you can start looking for a new friend, a new companion. I hope they are watching this."

"Hey! Here we have a monkey. And so am I."

"This job that we are doing here is really a job of a monkey. (With monkey they mean kinda silly or stupid). Glad to see someone else in this suit and next we have the song Kiert��vä sirkus."

"You can go wild but don't go into the flames."

---

"Thank you! (Speaking to the monkey guy). I wish you nothing but the best and good luck."

"If everything went badly because of this, then you can move into my tiny apartment. You are always welcome."

"Okay take that monkey away."

(Speaking to the crowd again)

"It makes me glad. (He said "vetää hiljaiseksi" which means "pulls me silent", but idk how to translate that well)."

"People are wearing green and some people don't have clothes at all on them, but that is fine."

"So, have you been enjoying yourselves huh?"

(crowd cheers)

"Well yes. So I actually went to Eurovision, I don't know if anyone watched it, but-"

(cheering)

"Yes that was, that was like a basic gig in Nivala. Yeah we did that out of the way and- now we are here. So I appreciate all of you so so so so much."

"This is not self-evident, so many people want to see this circus monkey, I don't- I mean I am thinking what is wrong with you all, but it's nice that you are all here. Yeah just kidding.

"I also want to thank you for everything, you guys have made this thing, not me I just made the song. I didn't do much more than that. You guys created this around Käärijä- well I am not sure what sort of chaos this is, but you guys are guilty for that. Thank you for that."

(Crowd cheers)

"And then I would like to respect this guy called Antti Tuisku. " (Antti is a very popular and beloved Finnish singer).

"Sadly I need to tell you that Antti had much more better things to do, than come to Käärijä's concert."

"He is somewhere in Spain, with an oiled chest. Macarena- or what is that song."

"But we are trying to give our respects to him. He is apparently quitting his career, good for me, he made me some room. Thank you Antti."

"Antti was Finland's best live performer, notice "he was". Who is it now? I do not know."

"But- I was thinking we could do it for you guys (his and Antti's song "Auto jää".) We can respect Antti and- this sounds like a funeral speech. He is alive. And is doing well. Is doing better than ever."

"Antti, if you are watching this somewhere, I don't know somewhere. But if you are not watching then all the best for you. See you in Spain."

"Let's get going."

"You can sing along! I have no idea how these lyrics go, but let's try."

---

"Thank you."

"Pity that Antti didn't come."

"Antti did not come and you can't do anything about it."

(I don't know how to translate the word "onpa" but he says that a few times. Basically a word to start a sentence)

"I don't know, this makes me speechless. (the sound is not working) And now my headset is starting to get broken. I am absolutely messed up over here. I am not drunk but otherwise I'm messed up."

"There is- hey (points into the crowd) you put me messages about that hat, didn't you? Yes. Think about this, there is this one person who made a- I don't know how many weeks or months it took you to make that- that hat. Hat. First they were flexing me like "Look at this hat" and I was like oh that is kinda cool "Do you want this?".

(The person starts to point at the hat and ask does Käärijä want it)

"Why would I take it, it's yours!! Dear lord- no I can't- maybe later."

"Quite a hustle and bustle."

"Shall we continue still?"

(Crowd cheers)

"Yes we will continue- I am trying to look if there are any- all of you are my friends. And that much I want to say that welcome to Käärijä's family."

(Cheering)

"Even if you don't want to, now you are a part of Käärijä's family, because you came here. You have sold your souls to Käärijä.

(Cheers"

"And I hope everyone respects each other here, because otherwise I will come there and no one will have fun anymore."

"Because there are small family members here, so I hope they too will see something. So if there is a little Lassi somewhere in there, then take that Lassi and carry him so he could see too. Or then they can come here 10 years later."

"I feel like that 5 year old Lassi is as tall as me. Or what was its name. But I guess-"

"Okay then we will do a few new songs. We released this mixtape and decided to do those songs as well. I am kinda terrified already, (looks at a paper on the floor) and I went to look what were the names of the songs."

"Are they- Are these the songs? Well I guess there is no other choice but to do these."

"Are there anyone who bought that mixtape?"

"Well they did not sell that well but- that is why I am not even wearing a shirt on."

(A pink guy whispers something to him)

"What?"

"Is it the wrong song? That was the wrong song."

"What was it?"

"Well it was Mic mac."

"Sorry for that, I am still kinda in Liverpool, but well just ignore that."

"Let's play Mic mac then."

"If someone knows this legendary dance, you are allowed to dance."

---

"There is a mini Käärijä. Hello."

"That is cool. Is that my missing bolero? That was- you never returned it. But that's okay, it is yours now."

"Who else do we have here. What is that, a Pokemon card, a Bulbasaur- so many gifts here again."

"You guys are- a finnish flag- yes I know where we are."

"Someone came here "Really, Käärijä can't remember. We should show him that he is here in Finland, and no more in Liverpool!"

"Draw me a tattoo."

"Now you are- I will come there at some point. You are- you are- you are going hard over there, there is absolutely no sense in this."

"Dear lord."

"Does anyone else want a tattoo? I have the equipments over there."

"When this career in music starts going downhill, I was thinking about- well I guess I need to have a tattoo shop then, because so many want to take one."

"Alright, let's do more new songs then. Is that ok?"

(Crowd says yes)

"Well this is the first time we are doing these live, so give us some air and mercy. We are a bit confused, but that's the spirit."

"Let's go."

---

"Thank you."

"That went surprisingly well. A bit of confusion, but that is okay. Forgive me."

"And then there would be this "Morgan", has anyone heard it?"

(cheering)

"I can tell you, yesterday when we were practicing it- it was horrifying to watch. Let's hope it is today, just as horrifying to watch."

"So let's go!"

---

"Thank you (starts laughing)"

"Guys, you should never present a song you learned yesterday."

"But that went quite well, didn't it?"

"Yeah, the same thing was with Eurovision. I learned the lyrics a day before the show, and it went well!"

"Hey it is absolutely amazing. Life ain't so serious. It's good to go wild sometimes, but like nicely, no stupid things."

"I also want to say hey to the back row."

(cheering)

"Käärijä's concerts rarely have a back row, but now there is one."

"That is very nice, welcome here. I hope you can see something, I'm kinda a tiny short guy."

"People have been talking about how tall Käärijä is. So you know what?"

"I don't know."

"That's it."

"Let's go to the next song!"

---

"That kind. That song."

"Hey, a question. Always interesting a question like this."

"How many people knew about Käärijä before UMK?"

(Crowd answers)

"Not everyone could have know no. Where have you been those days? When Käärijä sang lonely gigs? In Pudasjärvi, in a corner of a pizzeria. Haven't seen you guys there."

"How many of you, Käärijä was not really known, before UMK?"

(Crowd answers again)

"Well now it badly seems like, people are trying to get pity pints to Käärijä. Same guys who said "Yes I have listened" raised their hands in "I haven't listened"."

"Well it is what it is. That I will never know. Numbers will know."

(The person with a tattoo sign is waving their sign)

"You are still swinging there. We should take a hotel room later, now take it easy. We will make that tattoo."

"Wow. Are there- How many made a bolero?"

(People raise their hands, one guy is jumping, Käärijä points at him)

"You. The same crazy person again here. I can never get rid of you. Now you have some kind of a teddy bear with you. What gig was it- it was Lap- Lappeenranta?"

"This guy stole the whole show."

"You got paid and everything."

"Yes well- yes no wonder Kärtsäri is not driving around with a fancy car when this one guy takes it all (the money)."

(The guy takes his wig off)

"Put that potty back you looked better in it."

"Hey I want to- there is a bolero. I first of all want to thank you- I am usually not the one to say thank you, I am that kind of a person who is not thanking everyone. That's not who I am. Thanking everyone is more of Antti's thing, not mine."

"But I want to say, to all the families that there here. Are there any families here?"

(Crowd answers)

"I assumed at first of course that "Yess there are families here". And nobody came. Let's just say, the smallest family members welcome here, and I hope parents know where they just took their kids. And I try to behave accordingly, today. This is the last time."

"This is the coolest thing that has happened to me, honestly."

(Crowd cheers)

"There- there in Liverpool the fact that there were 15 thousand people and 250 million people watching from TV, this is much cooler. Thank you for that."

(Crowd cheers)

"Even if I lie a lot, I am not lying about this."

"Okay shall we continue?"

"Hey, will any shirts come off? Next up is Paidaton riehuja (shirtless rampage) so will any come off? There! There went one."

"Remember at Käärijä's concert we are all family, so you can take off your shirt no matter gender or who you are. Of course be aware of the smallest family members, so they wont get trauma."

(Points at the crowd)

"What kind of a duck costume are you wearing?"

"You have come to the wrong concert, no but let's go."

---

(Käärijä goes near the crowd.)

"Thank you"

"Like that."

(Someones money drops)

"Your money dropped here."

(A little kid in a pink dress comes next to Käärijä)

"You- oh goddaughter even came here. Go fast to your mother or you'll drown there (in the crowd)."

(People give him stuff. Käärijä leads the kid back)

"Are these for me? Thank you. Amazing. (girl's name maybe?)"

(Käärijä goes back to the stage)

"I'll go back to the stage, I didn't go back home like some of you thought."

(Someone in the crowd shouts something, I am not sure what)

"It will come, it will come. It is the next one actually."

"Let's see. First time ever I had to do a set list. Because there are like 16 songs here."

"I am not sure what these songs are, but here they are."

"What are these songs? Do we even have time to do these all? Hey, before Urheilujätkä, there will be Hirttää kiinni."

"Is that okay?"

(He asks "Hirttääkö jengillä kiinni? Hyvä niin minullakin", not sure how to translate it right.)

---

"Kärtsäri's concert haven't had this kind of a feeling in a long time."

"Old man's pump is starting to fail, I hope our first aid is ready. Okay no that was a joke, no need to worry."

(Watching fan signs)

"What is there? "Greetings to mom and dad" my parents? Do you have something to say to my dad? "Cha cha cha, hirttää kiinni ja Mic mac" very well... "

"That is a cool sign, I need to give you my respects. My apartment is full of drawings, and shoes and socks and... I sleep on top of all the fan made things... and I don't have the money to move to a bigger apartment yet, but maybe someday for sure."

(Points to the crowd)

"Why are you jumping over there?"

"Cool is your bolero, what is it made of? Sheets maybe? No, just kidding, it's amazing."

(Cameraman is filming a fan with a sign "Make a <3 if you think Bojan is hot" Käärijä sadly did not notice :( Love the fan for trying)

"Soon we will give you some cha cha cha. And and well not yet, I tricked you guys a little, but soon."

"Before that, I would like to ask some people- wait I need to check who I was supposed to ask here."

"Yeah my memory left in- I need to say that this journey from Liverpool- no actually from UMK to here has really been a journey of some kind. And you people have made me come through it. I must say that if people think that this kind of life is just some highlight and very cool- this is very cool yes, but there are a lot of dark sides into this."

But I must say that the moment I see so many people here because of me- Dear lord."

"If my mom comes here well that is normal, but this many people, I am not sure how many is just wow. Nobody probably bought their own ticket here. You won your tickets from some cereal packet or-"

"Hey next I would like to ask people here on the stage. First of all I am asking my friend, who is actually the reason why I am on music business at all, and I have learned a lot from him and he is a dear friend. We have been through some hardships but we are still friends and I hope it stays like that, so now with a big applause welcome to the stage Soni!!! (I think it was Soni)"

(crowd cheers)

Soni: "Good evening"

Käärijä: "Pay your debts"

Soni:: "Tomorrow"

Käärijä: "Welcome to the stage"

Soni: "Thank you thank you"

"And next I would like to ask, one friend, who we made the first Käärijä song with and my best friend. Who was with me in Liverpool as an interpreter but he didn't get to do anything cause I became so good in English. My English is kinda good nowadays."

"Yes yes mister worldwide here"

"Applause to Jesse!!!!!"

"And before all this I will go get this one shirt. Where is it? Here."

Soni: "Does anyone have lamps on their phones? Could we get those up for the next song?"

Jesse: "This is the moment"

"This is very awkward to wear this shirt on. But is e here, is uncle Jaska here somewhere? Sportguy himself."

"He is not. Hey now it looks cool. Are you ready before the big final? Let's go!"

---

""Well that was a journey."

Joni: "What a circus."

"Jesse over here has played hockey before. Can't believe he is here now. Well career didn't start on that area and Jesse is not doing anything in this area either."

"Hey a few songs left I hope you have all enjoyed. Tomorrow I will go to a vacation so don't try to contact me. I won't answer. Cause now Kärtsäri needs a vacation."

"A few songs left and then you can all go to home to sleep. Are you ready?"

"I'll go take my shirt of and then we will continue."

(Someone shouts take your pants off)

"Pants off? These pants are stuck in my skin. So they won't leave. If you didn't know I actually sleep in these."

"Journey has been hard and it has a prize and that we pay."

"Next we will have a tense atmosphere"

"So let's continue."

---

(Crowd shouts Cha cha cha)

---

"Thank you!!!!"

"Give a big applause to yourselves! Give a big applause to the dancers! And give a big applause to my pink friends!"

"Do you want it to play again?"

"DO YOU WANT IT AGAIN?"

"Okay let's do it, now everyone goes as hard as they can!"

---

"Thank you!"

"Dear god, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Now my tank is empty and I will go to a vacation. remember to take a break and have a vacation."

"I will remember this always, I don't remember anything from the Eurovision show but this I will always remember. Thank you!"

"And I hope we can take one family photo. Everyone here, YLE will shut the TV soon. Okay good, good. And you can lift our hands."

(Crowd is chanting "Winner! Winner! Winner!")

"Thank you! See you in the future and maybe somewhere else!"

"Thank you, thank you. Goodbye!"

---

And with that I have decided to never translate anything ever again. Why did I think this would take an hour max? Anyway I hope this was useful to someone out there. It was a fun protect and after this, my English exam better be a 10.

GOODNIGHT!!!!! <3

[missusdunn]

Awkward Introductions

Ville Valo x Reader

Summary: When you visit your boyfriend in Finland you meet his parents at the worst possible time.

- Suggestive Content, Embarrassment, MDNI

this was also posted on my AO3 account :)

Earlier this year my boyfriend, Ville, decided it was about time to take me to finland to meet his family. Three months later, here we are, at his parents summerhouse steaming in their sauna.

Some alternative rock song plays quietly in the background as I’m focused on Ville hitting my back with the soft yet firm, birch branches, as he smokes a cigarette. The rhythm of the branches soothes me; feeling as though I could fall asleep. But before I could even think about dozing off my boyfriend stops the repetitive hits of the birch. “Can you pour some water on the sauna rocks, darling? It's too cold in here.” Although I am annoyed that my meditative state was taken away, I got up anyway. “Of course, hun.” He turns to put down the birch branches before staring at me intently. I can feel his green eyes burning into the back of my body. I continue my movements, pouring more water onto the hot rocks.

Once I finish I turn towards him, meeting his striking gaze. I smile softly as I walk my way back to him. His eyes stay on mine the whole time. As I reach him he spreads his legs slightly, silently telling me to stand in between them. He looks me up and down, he takes another hit of his cigarette before grabbing my hips pulling me further between his legs, and closer to his face. "There you are, sweetheart~” I shy away from his gaze a bit before giving into his embrace and hugging him tightly. He chuckles softly as he holds me tighter against his body. He then puts his long arm around my waist resting his hand on my lower back, continuing to smoke his cigarette. “You're so cute when you act shy like that.” I scoff at that “It’s not acting. I really am shy like this sometimes.” He laughs again and puts out the cigarette and wraps his other arm around me. “You’re adorable, y/n.” He pulls me down into his lap, keeping me close to his body. “Shut up.” I roll my eyes playfully before changing the subject.

“What else are we doing today, baby?” He chuckles once more before thinking to himself. He kisses the side of my head before answering “Mmm, we could go for a walk later. There's a nice clearing around here. And then maybe we could go down to the stream and have a little picnic. What do you say?” Although Ville Valo may seem like a morose and unsociable soul, he has always been very romantic; consistently setting us on cute dates in the most beautiful places. And as lovely and simple his idea was, I had other things in mind. “Sounds nice. I was hoping we could spend time together inside. Y’know just us two alone?” He smirks, knowing just what I was hinting at. He squeezes my body tighter against his and starts pressing little kisses to my neck, his voice then drops to a lower and softer tone. “Mhm that's a nice idea, spending time together, alone, all by ourselves, with no one around to bother us. I like the sound of that.” He goes back to leaving those electrifyingly small kisses along my neck, almost leaving me speechless. “I knew you’d think so. How much longer do you want to stay in here?” He shrugs, his breath warm against my throat. He starts to slide his hands down my sides, his large hands almost completely encircling my waist.

“Well, I’d be fine with staying in a little longer. Though I do think it’s starting to get a bit too hot in here, don't you think?” I feel his smirk against my skin. “Yes it is, but you did ask me to put more water on the rocks.” I remind him. He laughs softly and pulls back just enough to look up at me and smile. “Hm you’re right. But the sauna does feel more like a furnace every minute, sweetheart. And so does something else.” I roll my eyes playfully. “Oh yeah? What would that be?” I blush slightly knowing where this is going. He kisses the side of my neck again, his lips just barely brushing against my skin this time. He hugs me tight against him and nuzzles his face into my neck before speaking. “Don’t act so innocent, darling. You know damn well what I’m talking about.” He then sucks lightly on one of my sensitive spots, having me melt immediately. “Do you wanna go inside n-now?” I grab onto his long locks, already feeling like I can’t contain myself. He chuckles softly, clearly enjoying the effect he has on me. He gently kisses my neck a few more times before speaking in his soft voice. “Oh absolutely, I do believe that the sauna is no longer the hottest thing in this place.” He smirks. If I wasn’t so love drunk and infatuated right now I would’ve rolled my eyes and laughed at his statement. But of course it doesn’t take much for Ville to have me in an absolute puddle once I’m under his touch.

Once he says that, he stands up, picking me up in his arms with ease, and then carries me out of the sauna. I squeal as he picks me up abruptly. He laughs softly at my squeal, smiling as he carries me into the house and upstairs. Once we reach his bedroom he kicks open the, luckily, ajar door and kicks it shut once we’re inside. Then he gently places me on the bed, then crawling on top of me, his body hovering over mine. “You’re so goddamn beautiful, you know that, darling?” I blush and I’m left speechless under his attention. He chuckles as I remain silent. He cups my face in one of his large hands, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb as he looks down at me. “Aww, speechless already, love? We haven't even started yet~” He teases, but at this moment I don’t care. “Shut up and kiss me.” He laughs once more, clearly enjoying my suffering. He gently grabs my wrists and firmly pins them above my head with one hand as he leans in close to my face, a smirk on his lips. “Mmm, is that an order, sweetheart?” His free hand makes its way to my throat having a soft yet firm hold onto it. “Yes.” I gasp at the sudden contact. The look on his face is almost giddy and smug at the same time. Probably feels like a kid in a candy store having me all to himself like this. “You’re being so submissive today, darling. You want me to take control huh?” My legs wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to where I need him most. “Always.” I pant out. He smirks once I say that, his grip on my wrists tightening just a bit. He leans into my ear, his voice dropping to a low velvety whisper. “Mmm, I know you do, honey~ You were getting all submissive yesterday too, remember? You really like it when I take charge, don’t you, darling~” I nod, completely letting go, and letting him control me.

The hand placed on my throat then nudges me to move my head back, revealing my throat. He begins to kiss and nibble, his teeth gently grazing my skin, up and down before murmuring low into my ear. “Oh what a good girl~ Letting me take charge, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” I immediately lean up to kiss him and he meets me halfway, our lips colliding passionately. Just then a loud bang rings from downstairs, pulling us apart. Before we could question it outloud, a voice called out. “​Hei poika! Poika, tiedän, että olet siellä!” Ville groans in annoyance at the interruption and rolls over onto his back, dropping his head on the pillow next to me. “Wha- who’s that?” I ask Ville. “....My parents” he grumbles. I immediately make sure I'm properly covered with his blanket as the heavy footsteps get closer to his room. Ville just lays there staring up at the ceiling with an annoyed look. Without warning the bedroom door flies open and I’m horrified to see both of his parents standing there. “Voi luoja! sinulla on tyttö täällä.” His mother exclaimed. His father only stood there with raised eyebrows, widened eyes, and a faint smile. At this point Ville had sat up on the bed glaring at his parents slightly before standing up, still wrapped in his towel as he made his way to the bedroom door ushering his parents out. He steps out with them and closes the door behind them. I hear the conversation faintly but it was in Finnish so I wouldn’t be able to understand it anyways. It goes quiet for a moment and then the conversation becomes a bit louder. “Ei, ei nyt.” Ville’s deep voice breaks the silence. “Tule~ Haluan vain tervehtiä.” His mother says. I hear a faint sigh before the door slowly opens up, much to my dismay. Ville Gives me a morose yet apologetic look as he holds the door open for his parents.

They walk in smiling as they greet me. His father stands close to the door as he nods his head respectfully in acknowledgement. His mother on the other hand walks over to me and sits at the foot of the bed still smiling ear to ear. It was easy to forget that in Finnish culture nudity wasn't seen as ‘taboo’ or ‘inappropriate’. It was like his parents didn't even notice that the only thing covering me was their son’s comforter, as my towel was flung across the room earlier. I smile a bit awkwardly at them as my face feels like it's on fire. “You are very pretty.” His mother says with a thick finnish accent. I smile in appreciation. “Thank you”. Her smile never falters as she continues. “How long have you been dating my son?” I think for a second before responding. “Two years.” She smiles brighter if that's even possible before turning back to look at Ville who still stands by the door looking less than amused. “Meidän pitäisi varmaan valmistautua häihin” She giggles. I didn't understand what she said but it was enough to make Ville blush like crazy before ushering his parents out again. “Siinä se. Ulos.” He points to the door. His mother only laughs but stands up anyways. “Okei okei.” She puts her hands up slightly in mock defeat as she steps out with her husband. Before she closes the door completely she says one more thing. “I’ll see you both when dinner is ready.” She closes the door leaving Ville and I alone.

Ville groans and flops himself onto the bed burying his face into the pillows. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles. Despite the amount of embarrassment that gave me, I wasn't angry. “It’s okay.” I laugh. “No. it’s not” He mumbles into the pillows again. “It really is. Somehow I thought meeting them would have gone a lot worse.” I smile. He turns his head to look at me with a confused look. “How was that not the worst case scenario?” I can’t help but laugh again at his expression. “At least they don’t hate me. And at least they didn't walk in five minutes later.” Ville smirks at that and can’t help but let out a small laugh. “I guess that's true.” he wraps an arm around me. We lay in silence for a bit, letting the embarrassment melt off, as we kill time before dinner. This definitely would be a hard to forget introduction.

[milaisreading]

🌱🩷: So, I had this one sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now. Tbh, this is my first time attempting to write Hetalia x reader content. Hope you enjoy it. And yes, I made Yn a Nordic state, bcs why not. We all love some chaos.

(C/n)- Country name

Warnings: Reader uses she/her. No warnings, really. Requests for Hetalia stories are open

🌍Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya🌍

"Why me?! You know I hate almost everyone." The girl asked her long time friend and ally, Finland, over the phone. The blonde laughed over the phone, which caused the other country to growl a little.

"Sorry, but you know how these meetings go. Every year one of us Nordics have to join these things. This year it's your turn, (C/n)." The said country cringed as Finland used her country name. He only used it on her when the argument was over or she made him mad.

"I know... Let's hope this ends well." She sighed, a little terrified of the meeting.

'8 of the strongest World powers will be with me in that meeting room... let's hope I won't be forced to sit between Russia and America again.' She gulped, finishing her call with Finland.

"It doesn't help that all of them hate me, too."

(Y/n) mumbled to herself and went to get ready.

"France, what's with those flowers?" China questioned, his eyes narrowing at the blonde. This caused Russia and America, who for once weren't arguing, to look at the blonde as well.

"Nothing, old friend~ you know I love roses the most." France smiles nonchalantly.

"Really? Then what's with that paper in the bouquet?" Germany questioned.

"What paper? Oh this?! It's just the bill!" France laughed awkwardly. He tried to take the pink paper, but America beat him to it and took it instead. France frowned nervously as Japan made a observation too.

"And you smell odd today... Did you use some cologne?" The Japanese asked.

"That'-"

"And why did you insist for our Nordic guest to sit so close to you? I thought you found Sweden scary, frog." England added in.

"What are you talking about, old friend? Sweden is a nice guy, I want to get close to him."

Russia and Germany sent him looks of disbelief, but before either could say anything, America let out a yell.

"France, dude?! You really are so uncool! How could you do this to me?"

"What?" England blinked, looking between the duo.

"What are you talking about?" France asked innocently, but America shoved the paper into his face.

"To my beloved (Y/n)?! Really?! And you are so casual to use my girl's human name, too!"

America glared at the French nation. France, angered by his last sentence got up and glared right back at America.

"Your girl? My beloved (Y/n) would never go for a loud mouth like you."

"(Y/n)? Do you guys mean (C/n)-san?" Japan suddenly interrupted them, causing the rest to realize what is going on.

"Wait, why did you buy flowers for her? And don't claim her so casually, pigs." China frowned, getting a little jealous. Russia, who was smiling the whole time looked at the duo, too.

"China is right. The little sunflower is too cute and delicate to be claimed by dirty men like you. So stay away."

France and America shuddered for a moment and the ominous aura surrounding Russia. And before another fight could start, Germany, England, and Japan spoke up. The trio was jealous and pissed as well by their comments, but they couldn't cause a fight now.

"Calm it down, all of you." Germany commanded.

"You all are acting like immature kids." England frowned.

"Let's all just take a deep breath for a moment." Japan suggested. The group slowly nodded their heads and one by one sat down. After a few minutes China spoke up, looking menacingly at France.

"But seriously, what's with those flowers? You are not planning to give it to Sweden so that he can hand them to (C/n)?" The oldest nation raised his eyebrow as France gulped and laughed nervously.

"Why not? Her and Sweden are close friends."

"Cut the crap. What's this all about?"

"Yeah, you have been acting off ever since you sent that invitation to Sweden." Now it was England and Japan's turn to look at him in confusion.

"I might... might not have invited Sweden this year... hahaha."

Now, France was usually a smug and calm person, but he knew this revelation would make room for a hellfire not even he wanted.

"What do you mean by that?" Germany narrowed his eyes.

"Acho!" (Y/n) let out a small sneeze as she walked down the streets of Paris, utterly confused as to where she was.

"I got lost...didn't I?" (Y/n) muttered to herself, getting her phone out to check her location.

'This is bad! If I am late, Germany will be pissed at me! And if he is pissed, he might berate me! Oh, I am so dead.' The nation gulped as she looked at her watch.

"Bella! I didn't expect to see you here!"

The girl jumped in surprise as she heard a familiar voice and quickly turned around.

"Italy?! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the meeting by now? You are always there early with Germany and Japan." The Nordic nation commented, sighing in relief that she wasn't the only one late.

"Oh~ I wanted to get some food before going. Here, take some~" The Italian said happily, handing her a few pastries he bought.

"Ah? You shouldn't give me these." The girl blushed, surprised by his kind gesture.

'But... Italy has always been like this to everyone.' She argued herself as Italy shook his head.

"I want you to have it. I tried some of the sweets in the bakeries already, so I am full. Besides..." Italy grew shy a little, but still kept his usual closed-eyes smile.

"I bought them for you. I remember you told me and China once how you don't eat prior to our meetings."

"Y-you remembered that? That conversation was years ago." (Y/n) blushed a little in embarrassment, but was touched by his gesture.

"It was important enough to remember!" Italy argued.

'He is such a flirt... well, he is a country of passion and romance, if I recall correctly.' The girl smiled gently and nodded her head.

"Thank you, Italy. It's really kind of you. But you came all the way here to buy me food?"

"France said the best bakeries are here. But why are you here? Yesterday I saw that you would be in our meeting too, this place is pretty far away from there."

"I... I kinda got lost." The girl said, genuinely sounding embarrassed. Italy blushed at her cute behavior and nodded his head. Without any warning, the European country took her free hand and started dragging her to a nearby parking spot.

"I-Italy, don't grab people like that!" The other country scolded him, but knew it was futile against him.

"Bella, don't worry. I will drive us there. I did come with a car, after all."

The words caused (Y/n) to sigh in relief for a moment as she thanked Italy for his help. But, that relief soon turned into panic as the words finally sunk in.

'Italy... will drive me?' She gulped as the approached the sports car.

'I should have prepared a will.'

Italy, oblivious to her panic, held himself back from skiping and humming in happiness. He finally gets to spend time with his beloved (Y/n) without anyone interrupting him.

"We will be there in no time!" The Italian said enthusiastically.

"Y-yay..."

'Is this my karma because I ate Iceland's pudding last week?'

"So... you invited (C/n) and not Sweden and decided not to tell us, right? Did I get that right?" Although Germany looked and sounded calm, France could tell the blonde was far from it.

"Surprise." The French nation laughed, pissing the rest off even more.

"You backstabbing frog! Why wouldn't you tell us this sooner?!" England yelled as America held him back from jumping the country.

"Yeah, what even was your plan here? Did you want to impress her or something?" The youngest country asked.

"My dear friend, I don't need to try that hard. (C/n) can tell I am a better pick without me even trying much."

"What do you mean by that?" Japan asked the French country.

"Women love a man who is honest with his emotions, romantic, and most importantly, can cook." The final being more a jab on England than anything.

"Hold up! That would include me, too! I am always honest with her!" America yelled in protest, earning disapproving looks from Russia and China.

"You yell, America. That doesn't mean you are honest. Besides, she always said she likes my cooking more." China laughed as he got a nasty look from Japan.

"Well, in that case she must like me more. She always compliments my cuisine and likes listening to my interests-"

"Same with me! What now?!" The two Asian countries glared daggers at each other while Russia was smiling menacingly at them.

"I think I would be a better fit for the sunflower. After all, we both grew up in the cold and I can also protect her better-"

"Russia, you scare her. You are not a better fit." Germany sent a side-glare at the platinum blonde.

"Same for you, old friend."

The once calm room turned into a screaming match between the nations. Neither noticing Italy and (C/n) walk in, looking at them in astonishment.

"Ve~ let's skip out on the meeting and go get food instead."

"I-" She looked at the Italian man and then at the rest, a feeling of defeat taking over her body.

'Why did I agree to this? I knew I should have stayed in self-isolation! Denmark will pay for it!'

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB/translation] JokerOutSubs x Radio Celje collab: Joker Out on Radio Celje (24.10.2024)

Big thanks to Radio Celje who collaborated with us on this one!

Bojan, Jan, Kris, Jure and Nace were on Radio Celje to talk about the new single ‘Bluza’ and the new album.

Get a taste of the interview in our trailer:

and watch the full video with English subtitles on their Youtube channel:

Transcript and translation by drumbeat and @chaosofsmarty, review and subtitles by @kurooscoffee, proofread by X klámstrákur.

Accompanying article translated by IG 10_anja, reviewed by @weolucbasu, proof read by @flowerlotus8.

You can read the accompanying article and find the ENG SUB video, as well as the whole conversation in transcript form, under the cut.

What do JOKER OUT, bras and ikebanas have in common?

(Article posted on radiocelje.si website on the 24th of October 2024).

Joker out are announcing the release of their third studio album 'Souvenier Pop'!

At Jutranji ritem (Morning Rhythm) on Radio Celje we were visited by the members of the Slovenian band Joker Out - Bojan, Kris, Jan, Nace and Jure. The boys, who won the hearts of Slovenian and foreign fans with their unique style and energy, shared with us their interesting stories and moments from European stages, where they have enthralled at festivals, such as the legendary Sziget.

We talked about the impact that Eurovision had on their further creation, and how their dreams about big stages became a reality. They unveiled to us some fun adventures from abroad including an unusual moment in Finland that made one of their hits go viral.

You can hear what do they have in common with bras and ikebanas in the video.

On the 15th of November we are expecting their new album 'Souvenir Pop', which will offer musical hits in Slovene, Serbo-Croatian and English alike. In the capital city there are also two concerts scheduled with the release of the new album. You can also hear their new song 'Bluza' on Radio Celje.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

📝Video Transcript:

Host: With us today are Bojan, Kris, Nace, Jure, and Jan, the most popular Slovenian band, Joker Out. Welcome to Radio Celje.

Joker Out: Hi! Hello! Hey, hey, hey!

Bojan: Thank you very much!

I knew it, I said it wrong. You’re not the most popular Slovenian band…

Bojan: Absolutely, yes.

…but European band. A band known world-wide.

Joker Out: Wooow.

Now tell me, did Eurovision leave an impression?

Jure: No.

Bojan: Eh, no, nothing much, really, I think. Eurovision really made the 180 degree turn for us. Before it, we didn’t have any concerts abroad, or we played a concert in Croatia but for a Slovenian audience. Eurovision has brought us the opportunity to suddenly be performing all across Europe and we’re performing for foreign audiences, which is crazy.

Because you’re made for the big stages. At a festival in the middle of Budapest you really caused a stir, right? But you’ve always been dreaming about this stage.

Kris: That’s true. You are talking about the Main stage at Sziget. It’s a stage, for which we always said that if there was one thing we would never be able to achieve in our lives, it was Sziget main stage. I was there for the first time as a listener in 2018, watching all of my favourite artists up there and it was… I tried to imagine what it was like to look at the crowd from the other side, but I just couldn’t. Now I know what it’s like. And it’s quite a weird feeling. Still.

Weird?

Kris: Good, but weird. It’s never the way you imagine it.

Cool, we’re really happy that we caught you in our area, too, because you, you don’t stop. You’re a Band with a capital B. You travel…

Bojan: Just superlatives.

Yeah, just superlatives. You weren’t just in Budapest. You were also in Romania, in Slovakia. Where have you been and where else are you going?

Bojan: We’ve been to Finland, Poland, Great Britain, and Spain the most.

Kris: The Netherlands.

Bojan: In the Netherlands. We were in Lithuania twice, once in Latvia, once in Estonia.

Kris: Six times in Germany.

Bojan: Six times in Germany, three times in Sweden.

Jan: Have you said Great Britain and Ireland? Belgium, Croatia, Serbia, Macedonia.

Bojan: Croatia absolutely.

Nace: Italy.

Bojan: Macedonia.

Kris: We’ll name all the countries in the EU now.

Jure: Yes.

Kris: Every single country.

Bojan: Austria.

Jan: You’ve said Norway and Sweden?

Alright, alright.

Bojan: No, I didn’t, Norway, well, I’ve mentioned Sweden.

And you also mentioned Finland.

Bojan: Finland, I did.

We heard something unexpected happened in Finland, which affected your recognisability. Actually, how viral one of your hits went.

Bojan: Yes! Okay, that was quite the genius moment. Namely, I finished ‘Šta bih ja’ before the Stockholm concert. No, what am I saying, sorry, in Helsinki and I wasn’t 1000% sure I’d sing the chorus correctly, so I wrote it on a piece of paper, in a big font, and gave it to our technician Kiki, and asked if he could please stick it onto the front monitor speaker so that I could look at it. And I asked him 35 times. “Did you stick it on?” “I stuck it on.” “Okay, great.” I get on stage, darn, I can’t see the paper anywhere. I look at the monitor on the left, the one on the right, nothing. I’m checking, if he might’ve mixed it up and hung it on a speaker somewhere, the sheet is nowhere to be found. And two songs before 'Šta bih ja’, I step to the very front part of the stageand I look down, and I see that when the champ hung it up, he did it on the other side of the monitor, so the audience was reading the lyrics, not so I could see it. And then what happened? People thought it was on purpose, a 'sing along’ moment, karaoke. Everyone took pictures, filmed it, posted it online, the lyrics of a new song that was yet to come out. Anyway, we finished the concert. I remember we ran to the van from backstage, I opened my phone, and the lyrics were already on Genius. So, all the lyrics were already written out: the original, in Serbian, translated into English, and it was an hour after the concert ended. And from that concert on, already the very next day, because we performed in Helsinki again the next day, the whole crowd was already singing the song. It was crazy. It went viral on TikTok, totally, so Kiki, hats off to you. Of course, because I looked at that and told Kiki, “Give me my lyrics back.” and it was so much worse, because Kiki then took off the lyrics in front of everyone and put it on the correct side of the monitor, so I was able to read it.

Kris: You know, the craziest part about it to me is that the Finns, because the crowd was majority Finnish, they realised the lyrics were in Serbian, that it was something they hadn’t heard from us yet. To me that’s, you know…

Bojan: Yeah, of course.

Kris: Imagine you read something in Finnish, how will you know it’s something you haven’t read yet, or heard?

Bojan: Well, if it’s not… ♪ Rankka viikko ja paljon pitkii päiviä takan ♪

Kris: Yeah, yeah. That’s just, that’s so crazy to me.

Jan: It’s actually funny, that some fan probably knew the lyrics to the song before you did. No.

Bojan: It’s definitely possible.

Jan: It wouldn’t be impossible.

Kris: It’s not impossible.

You have tons of fans, what is the most unbelievable, or most awesome thing that a fan did for you?

Bojan: There’s a lot of things like that.

Jure: I think about those hoodies we got.

Jure: Those were nice. Everyone got their own hoodie.

Kris: In their own color.

Jure: Their own color, I just know I had Captain Maček written in the front here and SSF airlines in the back.

Bojan: Everyone got an embroidered, hand embroidered, signature, what’s the word…

Kris: Personalised.

Bojan: A personalised shirt.

Nace: Although, among all of these fan gifts, the most beautiful was the one in Stožice, where the fans had planned amongst themselves, and before the concert, they handed out these colorful triangles with instructions to to put it over the phone flashlight during 'Novi val’. And suddenly, the whole arena was in colorful lights.

Jure: And we didn’t know that.

Bojan: It was, it was… Amazing. Because we, I remember, that when 'Novi val’ started, the whole arena lit up in colorful lights and then we got off stage and started asking everyone in the crew who did it, because it’s a massive project, to hand 12,000 people colorful lights, which we thought they did. And really, it was the fans, walking around before the concert, and handing out these papers actually, and the instructions to put these ligh… I mean, there’s been a lot of these beautiful fan projects. With 'Metulji’ they made paper butterflies and handed them out, so everyone lifted their butterflies up. And that was also abroad.

Jan: In Warsaw.

Bojan: It happened in Warsaw. I mean, we have awesome fan projects, we have this group, Joker Out Subs, which is a group of fans that actually, in already a very organised way, translate all the Slovenian content into, Idon’t know, dozens of languages, worldwide. And they actually go online, find the interviews, conversations, guest appearances in shows, whatever, and they spring into action. And in a couple of days it's… I’m also sure that… It’s not impossible that this interview, for example, will be translated into 10 or 15 languages with subtitles.

What was an unusual, wild thing, that you got on stage during a concert? And let’s not say just bras, now.

Bojan: A bottle of blueberry liquor… To the knee.

Jure: …to the knee.

Bojan: That was still… That was…

Jure: But years ago.

Bojan: …in Žiri. It happened in Žiri.

Bojan: Our bassist was hit by a bottle of blueberry liquor which is a lot better than the hammer that hit the previous band. I’ll never forget that.

Jure: Or was it an axe?

Bojan: Axe, hammer, something, I mean, bizarre. I got an ikebana. And that was awesome. I think I’ve already told this story. But that happened because a guy, from the middle of the tent, in Koper, if I’m not mistaken, held up that ikebana and pushed through the crowd and everyone was getting out of his way and he got to the front rows and gave me that ikebana.

Now, I won’t ask about which performance was most memorable because there’s probably so many that you wouldn’t know or be able to pick one out. So I picked one. And I’m interested in how it came to be that Ringo Starr’s grandson joined you on stage?

Bojan: Yeah, we met him in a pub, like how I’d assume, in London, you meet many people casually. And he’s really an awesome guy. We clicked immediately, his name is Louis. A great drummer, he also has his own band. Anyway, when we were talking about what to do at Shepherd’s Bush, which is a truly eminent venue in London, we kind of said, darn, it would be nice if someone could join us on stage, and that it’s casual, natural. So we asked Louis if he’d jump on stage. He said: “Yeah, let me get on with a tambourine.” So he happily hopped on stage, tambourine-d his part and went on his way.

Kris: They even had a drum battle.

Bojan: Even a drum battle, dude.

Kris: Percussion, percussion drum battle I’d say.

Bojan: On the congas.

Today, we’ll hear your new song, 'Bluza’. I got asked by a fan of yours, a friend of mine, to ask you if it’s conjugated correctly, this word, 'bluza’. Because in the song, Bojan says: “Noćas ti si moja muza, ja u ritmu tvoga BLUZA ću da plešem bez prestanka.” How’d you land on that?

Bojan: Yes. So the word “bluza” isn’t even connected to a blouse, like a shirt, a piece of clothing. “Bluz” (blues) is just blues as a musical genre.

Okay. Honestly, I don’t know, this whole time we’ve been… Was the name of the song a somehow natural progression from “bluza, bluza”, or what?

Kris: Yeah, it was muza bluza (blues muse).

Jure: I think it was “muza” (muse).

Bojan: It was “muza”, it was “muza”. Then we settled on “bluza”, so yeah, kind of a silly name if you think about it, but…

Kris: It doesn’t make sense, but somehow it makes sense.

But it’s cool, because you ask, right, what’s the point, really?

Bojan: Who or what is “bluza”?

Who among you is the laziest?

Bojan: Nobody in the band is lazy, definitely, as a personality trait, nobody’s lazy. But I feel like we all have these particular moments when everyone, how should I say… You know, when you have a phase, when it hits you, and then you’re the most… Personally, when everything gets too hard, I’d… I’m the laziest then. But like, I choose to be the laziest, because I just don’t want to, I refuse to move.

Jure: I could say just the opposite. I know Kris is the least lazy, or even when he should be lazy, he can’t be lazy, I believe.

Bojan: That’s for sure. Kris is a walking Excel timetable.

If you had to pick someone, and send him to a quiz show, I don’t know, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.” Who would you pick, who’s the smartest?

Kris: It’s not about smarts, it’s more like who has the most knowledge, in my opinion.

Knowledgeable. Yeah, exactly.

Kris: I wouldn’t pick myself, for sure.

Jure: The Millionaire?

Kris: I bet Jan would know the answers.

Nace: Yeah, I’m leaning towards Jan as well.

Jure: I think I’d rely on luck.

Kris: I think I’d ask the audience for help. Jan would take his time to answer the question, but the answer would be correct, I think.

Jan: Why wouldn’t you pick yourself? I can totally see you.

Who’s the best cook?

Bojan: Jan.

Kris: Yes.

Jan: Or Jure.

Kris: Jure too, especially if it’s a barbecue, Jure. If it’s more like kitchen stuff, some risotto or pasta, I’d trust Jan.

Nace: But we’re all pretty decent cooks, to be fair. None of us…

Bojan: None of us would leave anyone hungry, let’s put it that way.

Jure: We love to cook and eat our own food.

November 15th?

Jure: A new cooking show.

Nace: Cooking with Jokers!

Bojan: On November 15th, our third studio album comes out, called 'Souvenir Pop’. It’s our third studio album, and fourth album overall, because last year we released the Live album from Stožice. This album will have ten songs, four of which you’ve already heard, which are 'Carpe Diem’, 'Everybody’s Waiting’, 'Šta bih ja’, and Bluza.’ So the remaining six are a mystery, for now. It’s an interesting album, we see it as a collection of memories from the last year and a half that we’ve gathered. And just like places and people are different, and everything else we’ve seen is different, the songs are different as well, so it’s a really diverse album, without, I’d say, a prominent common thread. There are three languages on it, Slovenian, Serbian, and English, so it’s really colourful.

This will be a perfect Christmas gift or for the New Year.

Bojan: Yeah, exactly, exactly. For Christmas, you should all be singing this instead of ‘Last Christmas.’

A music video tomorrow? On Friday?

Joker Out: Yes.

Kris: Yes, it’s true, the video is coming out for the single ‘Bluza,’ which has been released three weeks ago already, but we decided it deserves a music video as well, and we took a little more time, but I think we really put in the effort, and made a really unique video, something you haven’t seen from us yet, you haven’t seen anything remotely similar from us, and I doubt you’ll see anything like it again. And we have some cool hidden guests, in the video, well, for now they’re still hidden.

It will also be pinned on radiocelje.si. Bojan, Kris, Nace, Jure, Jan - Joker Out, thank you for visiting Radio Celje.

Bojan: Yes, first of all, on behalf of all of us, thank you for the invitation. We hope to be back soon, or as soon as possible. Take care, and stay safe!

[tinymehilainen]

In your arms, part three.

part two here part one here

January 2025, Ljubljana.

"Hi Bojan."

"Jere, come here. I've missed you so fucking much."

"I miss you too Bojan, it's been so long."

"Way too long. Nnooo, don't let go just yet, hold me a bit longer."

"I hold you forever if you want. But maybe not here, outside. It's cold."

"I thought you Finns were supposed to be tough."

"I am tough, I show you. Strong too, big muscle."

"Looking forward to it. Come in, babe."

"This the Bojan castle!"

"Hardly a castle, but yes, this is home."

"Kris live here too?"

"Yes, but he's out right now, I may have sent him for an emergency grocery run."

"No emergency Bojan, just me."

"And I want everything to be perfect for you."

"You are here, so it's perfect."

"You're cute, you know that?"

"Yes I know."

"Well, Bojan?"

"What?"

"You forgetting something?"

"Oh um.. right, a kiss!"

"You should kiss me yes, I am here for three minutes already and no kiss, I think maybe my Bojan not love me anymore."

"Right, kissing you now."

"Thank you, very good kiss, I believe Bojan love me again."

"Thank god."

"But that's not what you forgetting."

"Huh?"

"You still forgetting why I come Slovenia."

"For.. me?"

"Aaand..?"

"To.. ski?"

"Bojan, I can ski in Finland."

"Right."

"What I don't have in Finland?"

"I - the other guys?"

"I love Joker boys and I love to see them soon, but no. Think Bojan! Why I need be in Slovenia?"

".. Sex?"

"I know you not forgetting sex because you text me so many times today, so no, I don't mean sex - but we need do that very soon, yes yes."

"I'm out of ideas, Jerč."

"Äh, Bojan forget so easy. I go find myself. Show me your room?"

"Okay? This way."

"Where it is?"

"Jere, please I have no idea what- no wait. Are you talking about this?"

"Yes! Our fan painting! Why you hide behind curtain?"

"Well.. sometimes... it makes me miss you so much I have to pull the curtain over it. I told you I'm not strong enough."

"Stop, you are very strong, I know. You look at this and you think about me?"

"And all the things you said to me on the phone that day."

"So you are strong, you watch and you think and you feel, even if it hurts a little bit."

"Doesn't hurt anymore. You're here."

"Come here, my arms Bojan."

"I let go now?"

"If you must."

"Give me kiss first?"

"I'll give you a thousand kisses."

"I take three now, please, save rest when I need more."

"Anything you want."

"Okei, I think I'm ready now."

"Ready?"

"I have painting! I go now, bye Bojan!"

"Oh you think you're so funny, huh?"

"I see you smile Bojan, I know I'm funny."

"Well I think you are forgetting something this time."

"Hä? What I forget?"

"I seem to recall you saying you're coming here to get both the painting and me."

"Hmm you are right, I say that. Okei, I take you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I promise sex too."

"Aha! You did! So you can't- "

"So I take you. Now. Here, on this table."

"Oh- oh.. oh."

"Yeah, oh. Hopi hopi, on the table. Or I have to take you there too? Bend you over?"

"Well, you wanted to show how strong you are."

"I show you."

[callmearcturus]

yoo i remember you doing perfume reviews a while back, my partner has been wanting to get into fragrances for a while and i want to get her something for christmas. are there any particular "discovery kits" etc youd recommend? i think she likes warm florals but i also think she'd like to explore more broadly. thanks!!

I have at this point tried a lot of discovery kits and I have two recs:

one: Macy's sampler kits. Looks like they have this option for 34$ or this one for 30$ this year. I got one as a bonus gift last year and while half the stuff I got was not my thing, that sampler did lead me to Kenzo's Flower, which is now my signature scent.

two: the Etat Libre d'Orange ultimate sample kit is on sale right now for 37$ and I can't over-rec it. Hell, i got mine about this time last year and I have STILL been trying out scents. (I put on Tom of Finland for writing time today, REALLY nice). ELDO will give you creative and strange and sometimes-offputting and sometimes incredible scents. and its so expansive, your partner should get a LOT of mileage out of it.

i wish the Alexandria sampler was on sale but its a chunky 60$ right now. Maybe bookmark it for a birthday gift. You get 10, and I personally rec making sure one of those is Cherry de Carmen (BOOZY cherry dark scent, apparently a dupe of Creed's Carmina) and another is Dark Knight (dupe of Kilian's Black Phantom, v heavy but fucking incredible). the one thing about Alexandria, though, is they are a dupe house, so they don't let the perfumes sit and settle before shipping them out. when they arrive, they might smell REALLY off. but if you leave them for a few weeks, they will change DRAMATICALLY as they go through the aging process more upscale perfumers do before selling you the bottle. just spritz them once or twice then put them away. i promise i know what i'm talking about here.

okay that's enough of me, back to writing, good luck!

[beelearnsfinnish]

[18.03.25, tuesday]

both today and yesterday were very productive days studying-wise so i'm pretty happy!

yesterday i had only planned to consume content since i had a paper due today, and even tho i didn't do any active studying i watched and listened to different content. today i did get an hour of active studying plus some content too. hopefully this strike continues along the week.

so, yesterday i did:

Listened to the podcast Kahvitarinat, episode 3, 14 mins

20 mins of finnish radio

5 mins of the uutiset selkosuomeksi

15 minutes of tiktok in finnish (finally getting some interesting content in my fyp)

10 minutes of the youtube video Surprising facts about Finland by Finnish Language Nuggets

and today:

1h of active studying: doing textbook's exercises

Transcribing a song my teacher suggested (managed to trascribe just by purely writing what I heard, but only understood like 10% of it :'D)

20 mins of finnish radio

5 mins of the uutiset selkosuomeksi

30 mins of youtube, getting back to vlogs content after getting a bit burnt out of them, so pretty happy. Watched KATTIS' video vlogi + ostosten esittely | käydaan kaupoilla ja siivotaan and Anni Suvisuo's Hello maaliskuu, Pilates, työpaiviä kodin sisustusideoita | Vlogi

Pretty happy about going back to a routine, went to my usual coffee place after a long time! I'm struggling tho to manage to fit weekly lessons, my work schedule is super shitty and teacher's one is quite full, so prob won't be taking as many classes as I would like :') but will try to manage on my own! 🫠