#what even is a rabbit

[baked-potatoes-rule]

What even is a rabbit?

A loud thunder split open the gray sky in two, shaking the entire ground underneath her feet as she felt a single raindrop land on her already tear-stained cheek. It had been threatening to rain all day, the gloomy heavens rumbling and grumbling as if nature was fighting against itself, trying to decide whether to release the flood already. Jackie Taylor had beat it to it. She had finally broken down after Coach Martinez’s pep talk. It had been the final straw of the day. No, the year. She had managed to keep her composure until she found herself outside of his office. Only then had she allowed herself to let a very bitter, single tear slip from her eye that had soon turned into full-blown sobbing and wailing. She spent about thirty minutes hiding in one of the bathroom stalls because, ‘ What would people think if they saw her like this ?’ Crying like a little baby, all covered in snot, her perfect hair now a mess, her pretty hazel eyes all puffy and red. Embarrassing. After regaining some of her composure and making herself presentable again, she finally mustered the courage to leave the stall of shame and head home. Most of her classmates had already left, so she had successfully managed to exit the school without anyone seeing her or asking questions. But of course, something had to fuck up her day some more, naturally.

“Fuck,” she muttered to herself as she gazed up at the roaring sky. No ride, no umbrella, and her life, threatening to fall apart. She quickened her pace, hoping she would get home before the rain got worse. Well, she didn’t. The rain got worse. Much worse. A cloudburst had manifested itself as if to throw one last ‘ Fuck You, Jackie’ , right in her face. She started mentally recalling all the times she had been mean to people to see if her actual karma added up to the amount of bullshit life was serving her in its finest tableware. She kept walking and thinking, asking God to forgive all her sins and make the rain go away, or at least slow it down until she got home. But all she got from God was silence, and Jackie thought that maybe even God himself didn’t love her. Laura Lee and her nonsense.

She was walking as fast as she could now, almost running. She held her varsity jacket above her head, trying to shield herself from the downpour, but to no avail. It was soaked—she was soaked. “Fucking hell!” She groaned grumpily, her feet splashing in the large puddles that had now formed on the ground. She heard the faint sound of a car engine coming from behind, and then she saw the car in question slow down and roll beside her. She didn’t stop. The last thing she wanted to do now was talk to some stranger or be offered a ride by some crazy person, and she ended up getting murdered and thrown in some ditch. Was that a bit of a far-fetched thought? Maybe, but considering how her day had gone so far... Hell, maybe getting murdered wouldn’t be the worst thing that could happen to her. She stopped and turned to look at the car; its window was now rolled halfway down. Jackie then wished for it. She wished it had been a stranger, offering her a ride home and murdering her halfway there, only to dispose of her body somewhere in the wilderness, for it never to be found. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t a stranger. Jackie then knew for sure that not only did God not love her, but he actually hated her guts. “Fucking Laura Lee and her almighty God!”

“Jackie?” Shauna’s voice flew in between the falling rain and made its way to Jackie’s ears, making her flinch. She just stood there, looking at her best friend—no, her ex-best friend—without saying a word. Shauna squinted her eyes and moved closer to the window. “Come on, get in."

Jackie Taylor didn’t fuck around. No thunder, no rain, and no God was going to get in her way of going home, and she did not need Shauna Shipman’s help to do it. She didn’t need Shauna in her life anymore; she didn’t want her in it. So she just turned around and continued walking briskly, determined to make it to her destination, even if she would have to eventually swim to get there. The car appeared next to her again, rolling at the same pace as her walking one, and Shauna’s voice came out of the opened window once more.

“Jackie??? What are you doing?” The rain was falling even harder now, and Jackie barely made out what she was saying, not that she cared what Shauna had to say to her.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going home.” She could walk; she wasn’t made out of sugar. She didn’t need Shauna and her car to shield her from nature’s wrath. She was doing just fine on her own.

"Yeah, I can see that. It’s…” The sound was muffled by the rain, and Jackie couldn’t tell if Shauna said something or not. “Come on… The rain isn’t stopping any time soon."

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me; I’ll be home in no time.” because nature had nothing on Jackie Fucking Taylor.

“Jackie, don't be ridiculous.” Shauna’s voice boomed, but it was almost as if it was just a background sound, the rain falling, being the main protagonist.

“I don’t need your help; I am fine,” Jackie yelled as she kept walking, not bothering to hold her jacket over her head anymore; it had been useless.

The Ford came to a stop, and the driver’s door opened. Shauna climbed out and quickly ran after Jackie, whose feet kept carrying her away toward her final destination: home and away from Shauna. She reached out her hand, grabbing Jackie by the shoulder gently. "Jackie, come on, you can’t be serious right now; there’s no way you’re walking all the way back home.” There was the faintest sound of a plea in her voice. Too late for that.

“Watch me.” She said, pulling away from Shauna’s hand and stomping her feet harder into the ground. But Shauna wasn’t budging. Such was her ex-best friend. Stubborn and just as determined as her, and at the worst fucking moments too. Two large steps to the side, and she was now in front of her, her dark brown eyes facing her own hazel ones.

"Jackie, please stop.” She put her hands on her soaking-wet shoulders as if to stop her from fleeing again. “You’re going to catch a cold. Please let me take you home.” There was something in her gaze; Jackie couldn’t quite tell what. Regret? Shame? Sadness? Or maybe it was just the rain getting into Jackie’s own eyes, and she was just seeing things. She remained quiet as the rain fell upon them, soaking them wet to the bone, slowly but surely. “We don’t even have to talk.” She said and let out a sigh, and Jackie saw; she was sure she did. “Please?” 

All Jackie did was nod, and Shauna’s face was washed with relief. They walked back to the Ford that was abandoned on the side of the road and got it. She held onto her jacket tightly as she fidgeted in her seat, water dripping off of her and soaking into the fabric underneath her. Shauna slammed the door shut and let out a loud sigh. She turned to look at her friend. She reached out her hand, gesturing for Jackie to give her her wet jacket. She did. Shauna swung it in the back seat and then wiped off her own face with her hand.

“I think I have a towel somewhere back here; give me a second.” She said, and she turned into her seat, reaching back to grab the backpack where Jackie’s wet jacket was placed next to. She retrieved a small blue towel and returned to her initial position. “Here,” she said, handing Jackie the dry towel.

“Thanks.” She muttered under her breath, and taking the cloth from Shauna’s hand, she proceeded to dry her face and hair off. It wasn’t much, but at least she wouldn’t be dripping wet all the way back home. Shauna fixed the rearview mirror and reached for her seatbelt when she saw Jackie offering her the towel. “Here, uh… If…” 

“Uh yeah, thank you.” She accepted the now-not-so-dry towel.

"It's, uh, wet, but..." She didn’t want to be an absolute dick, and sharing was caring, right? Not that she cared about Shauna anymore. It was the humane thing to do, considering she had come out after her in the pouring rain.

“It’s okay.” She spoke softly and used the towel to wipe her face and hair. It smelled like rain and Jackie. She discarded the now very wet towel off to the backseat and put her seat belt on. “Jesus,” she leaned forward and looked outside of the windshield. “Some heavy rain, huh?”

Jackie turned her head toward the passenger side window, facing away from Shauna. “I thought you said we weren’t going to talk."

“Right, yeah. Sorry.” She said, clearing her throat awkwardly and turning the key into the ignition. This was going to be the longest ride of their lives.

They rode in silence, the radio being the only source of sound lingering between them, easing years' worth of tension ever so slightly. She dared to take a few glances at Shauna when she was busy taking a turn or overtaking another car. Her clothes were sticking to her body less than Jackie's, but still, her hair was wet, just as much as hers, and it looked longer. Her hair was longer. Longer than Jackie remembered it to be. Had that much time passed since... No! Jackie wasn’t going to think about it. Not now, not ever. She wasn’t going to do this to herself again, especially not after today. She already had enough on her plate to recall memories from when she and Shauna were friends. Best friends . Hell, if someone had asked Jackie about the nature of their friendship, she wouldn’t know how to begin describing it. She didn’t even know where she ended or where Shauna began. They were…soulmates.

Or at least that's what Jackie thought. Until she found out Shauna had been fucking her boyfriend, Jeff, behind her back. And no, not because Shauna had grown conscious and decided to tell her, no. If it weren’t for Jackie accidentally finding her lost journal during their little camping trip, she would have probably still been lying to her to this day. Pretending to be her best friend, pretending she was there for her while, in truth, she hated her guts. Yes. That is what had broken Jackie completely. Reading about Shauna’s and Jeff’s numerous intimate encounters wasn’t even the worst. It’s what Shauna had written about her in her journal that had completely shattered Jackie’s heart into pieces. All of this time, her best friend, her entire world, and her other half saw her as competition. The pages were filled with Shauna’s resentful feelings towards her. How she constantly dictated what Shauna did, what she wore, how she was her sidekick and followed her like a lost puppy, how Jackie planned ahead of their lives and expected Shauna to just follow along. Soccer, who they’d date, Rutgers, everything! Her best friend hated her, and finding out like this left Jackie devastated. She had considered death less painful than losing her best friend that way. Maybe it had been Coach Martinez’s fault, or the rain, who knows, but Jackie would be damned if she let this eat at her any second longer.

“Why didn’t you just let me be?” She asked, her voice quiet but firm.

A confused Shauna turned to look at her and asked, “What?”

“Out there, why didn’t you just let me go home? Why did you have to go out of your way to give me a ride?” She said, still facing away from Shauna.

“I couldn’t have let you walk home in this weather, Jackie.” She simply stated it as if Jackie had just asked the stupidest question in the world.

“Why not?” Jackie asked, her eyes still glued to the passenger window glass.

Shauna let out a barely audible sigh. “That’s a stupid question."

“Tell me.” She was facing her now, her eyes laser-focused on Shauna’s face.

“Because…you’re my friend.” She paused and cleared her throat. ”Because I care.”

All Jackie did was scoff and look away. No, she didn’t just say that. She decided not to bother any longer; it wasn’t worth it. It was too late now.

“Jackie I…” 

“You didn’t care enough not to fuck Jeff behind my back, did you?” Her voice came out nonchalant, and then she laughed. “You didn’t care enough to tell me what you thought of me in my face. No, you had to write it all in your little journal like the coward you are.” Another bitter laugh escaped her as she shook her head.

“Coward? That’s rich coming from you. "Shauna’s voice was low; Jackie could’ve sworn she heard it tremble ever so slightly.

“What’s that?” She challenged her, facing her again.

“Nothing.” Shauna wasn’t going to do this, not now. Probably not ever.

“Right. Okay. Wanna pull over and write about it?” She barked bitterly and looked around, opening the glove compartment. “Where is it? Where’s your precious little book of secrets? Did you fill any more pages?” Jackie’s tone was getting maniacal now, her eyes burning with rage and pain. ”I’m surprised you haven’t filled the damn thing yet, considering how much bile you have to spit for me.” She slammed the glove compartment closed. “God, I really hope fucking Jeff did something for your inferiority complex; you’re fucking pathetic."

Shauna was gripping the steering wheel so hard that her hands turned white up to her wrists. This wasn’t fair. Jackie wasn’t the only one hurting. It wasn’t fair. “Fuck you, Jackie.” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her eyes stung as tears threatened to spill out. She wasn’t going to cry, no. She wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction. Yes, what she did to Jackie had been beyond awful, but she was in pain too. More than Jackie could ever imagine-

“Shauna, stop the car!” Jackie yelled, jumping in her seat.

"Jackie, what’s hap-”

“STOP THE CAR NOW.” She now screamed, grabbing Shauna by her shoulder and shaking her.

“Okay, okay, I’m stopping.” Hitting on the brakes, she brought the car to an abrupt stop, and Jackie immediately sprung out. “Jackie? What the hell?” She removed her seatbelt and climbed out of her seat, following Jackie, who was walking back to where they came from.

“I saw something!” There was urgency in her voice, and her big eyes were wide open, frantically searching for something, but Shauna couldn’t tell what.

“What?! What did you see?"

“Something was moving. I didn’t see it very well because of the rain, but..." She distractedly explained as they kept walking, “I think I- THERE!” She pointed towards the side of the road and ran there at full speed.”

“JACKIE WAIT!" Shauna yelled after her and followed behind.

“OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! I KNEW WHAT I SAW!” Jackie screamed as she kneeled in front of the little dark thing, lying on the little gravelly patch. “SHAUNA LOOK”

Shauna kneeled down and saw it. A bunny. A little bunny rabbit. Was it dead? “Jackie…it’s”

"LOOK, SHAUNA, IT’S MOVING.” Jackie shook her friend and then reached for the little creature.

“Be careful, Jackie!”

“Oh my God, there’s blood. Its leg!” Her tone was anxious and fearful, and it made Shauna’s stomach twist painfully. Jackie reached down and gently picked up the little bunny. It let out a squeal and tried to move, but only managed to jerk its body a bit. "Shauna, look! I think its leg is broken!”

“Come on, let’s get him inside!” She said,  throwing an arm around Jackie’s back and pulling her back toward the car. They climbed back in, and Shauna reached for her backpack once again, pulling out a gray t-shirt that had the Yellowjackets logo on it. “Here, wrap him with this; he must be freezing."

And Jackie did. She took the t-shirt Shauna handed her and gently covered the little bunny, now lying in her lap. "Here, little baby, it's going to be okay.” She gently rubbed its head. "Shauna, we need to take it to the vet.” And Jackie needn’t say more because the car was immediately on and Shauna was speeding off to the vet’s.

She was pacing back and forth now, with the towel—the vet was nice enough to hand them one each—draped around her shoulders as she went to check through the window every few seconds. She was worried, and Shauna was worried too.

“What if it doesn’t make it?” She said, nervously biting on her lips, peering through the window at the little creature lying on the steel table. Shauna came up behind her, instinctively placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing tightly.

“He will, Jackie. He is strong. We found him in this pouring rain, and he was still alive.” Jackie turned to look at her, her eyes still filled with worry, but her face now slightly more relaxed.

“Do you really think so?” She asked, glancing back in, where the vet was cleaning what looked like a wound on its leg.

“I really do, Jax. He is going to be okay, I promise.” Jackie’s body shivered slightly, and it wasn’t for the wet clothes sticking to her body. Hearing her best friend, ex-best friend say her nickname did-

“Okay, good news!” The vet came out carrying some papers in one hand and the wet jersey t-shirt in the other. “His leg is broken, and he is still in shock. Other than that, I ran a blood test and checked his vitals. He is a completely healthy boy! He is going to need to be taken care of until his leg heals properly.”

Shauna let out a sigh of relief. “Who is going to-” 

“Thank you so much!" Jackie squealed and hugged, unable to contain her excitement. “We’re going to take the best care of him!"

“Ah…” Shauna raised her hand, but it was too late. Jackie had her mind made up. Could Shauna ever deny her? Not for the life of her, she couldn’t.

She gushed like a little kid on the way home. Baby talking to the bunny, gently stroking its little head while it wiggled its ears, now clearly calmer than when they found it. “How did you know?”

“Hmm? What? Know what?” Shauna looked at Jackie, who was smiling at the little creature in her lap.

“That it was a boy.You kept calling it him.”

“Oh, I didn’t. I mean, I guess I had a hunch. He looks a bit like a boy to me."

“Does he?” Jackie furrowed her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side, taking a better look at the little fluffy ball. “Hmm. Well,. I think this is going to be great! You’re going to take great care of him!” She said and went back to playing with its ears.

“I-What? Take care? Me?” Shauna stammered, doing a double take at her friend.

“Well, I can’t take him home. Mom… You know how she is. But we can’t leave him either!” She reasoned.

“Jackie I can’t… I don’t know how-”

“Please?” She looked at her with glassy eyes, and Shauna felt her heart melt.Fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck,fuck. “Pleaseeeeee. Shauna, we can’t leave him. No one is going to take better care of him than us and…” 

“Fine.”

“What?” Jackie’s eyes widened.

“I said fine."

“OH MY GOD, YES. YES, YES, YES.” She threw her hand around Shauna, who squealed in surprise.

“Jackie… We’re going to crash if you keep-”

“Sorry!” She said, pulling back, bringing her attention to the bunny. "Okay, little nugget, Shauna’s going to take the best care of you. And I will visit every day, I promise."

Shauna felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She would give anything to see her best friend smile like this again. “Jackie I…” 

“I’m sorry,” Jackie said, beating her to it. “I uh,”

“No… You, it’s…I’m sorry.” And she was. She was awfully sorry, and she missed her so, so much. So many things were left unsaid between the two; being close to one another had been unbearable after everything that had happened.

Shauna drove Jackie home first. They didn’t talk all the way there; Jackie was too occupied with the bunny, and Shauna was too engulfed in her own thoughts. She had given her the chance. She had given her time to confess. But Shauna didn’t. She didn’t even do that. Years of friendship had turned to dust, and it had been her fault. All of it. She would never forgive herself—that much she knew.

Jackie gave the little bunny a kiss and placed it in the little box the vet had given them, covering it with its blanket and telling it she would be visiting tomorrow. She thanked Shauna again for agreeing to take him with her, bid her goodbye, and went home.

The moment she crossed the threshold of her room, she broke down in tears again. And this time, it lasted way longer than thirty minutes. She cried when she got there; she cried during her shower; she cried before dinner; and she cried some more after. She eventually cried herself to sleep. Her heart ached so badly that she thought she wouldn't be able to live her life without her best friend by her side. And just when she thought she was doing fine, everything came crashing down on her. She could pretend all she wanted; she could lie to people; she could lie to herself. But to God almighty, who she was certain hated her, she couldn’t lie. She was madly in love with Shauna Shipman, and she was so fucking tired of trying to wish the truth away. If only her best friend didn’t hate her... If only she felt a fraction of what she did for her, but Shauna hated her. It said so in her journal, and Jackie’s world was no longer the same and never would be. The thought of saving the little bunny was her lifeline; it soothed her and helped her fall asleep, although her heart burned and ached, the pain spilling all over her exhausted body. When sleep came, the pain subsided, and Jackie Taylor’s mind was put at ease, if only until the sun rose again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The initial set-up had been this: Shauna in her bed, Rabbit in his little box placed next to her desk. After feeding him some lettuce—he ate an entire leaf; the little fella had been hungry—and tucking him inside the little makeshift bed she had made for him, using one of her old flannel shirts, she jumped in the shower, eager to wash the rain and the day’s fatigue away. She spent a good forty minutes there. She let the scorching water run down her body as she scrubbed her skin vigorously, hoping it would help wash all the guilt and shame away. It worked. She felt much better when she finally got out of the shower.

Better, until she went to bed. She kept twisting and turning, not finding a comfortable enough position to lay in. And then it happened. Shauna Shipman finally broke down. She cried and cried and cried until she had no more tears left to cry. Curled up in a ball, she quietly sobbed away the last bit of remaining tears when she heard a sound come from the little box. She sniffed and, whipping away her tears, propped herself up on her elbows and peered over the bed. She saw two little, light-brown ears moving around in the cardboard box, and she got up to check on her new roommate.

Kneeling on the floor, she leaned down and looked at the little creature. “Hey buddy, can't sleep?" The bunny turned to face her, and its little nose wiggled. Its brown eyes, looking back into her own. “Yeah, me neither,” she said, letting out a loud sigh and plopping down next to the box. She stayed like this for a while, studying him, watching his little ears move, his little nose sniffing around, and his eyes dartingly scanning his surroundings. She tried lying down on the floor, but it didn’t feel as comfortable, so she got up again. She took the box and bunny with her and went back to bed. At first, she decided to place the box on the floor beside the bed and lied down. After some more fidgeting and twisting, she ended up picking up the box and placing it in the vacant space next to her.

“I fucked up. I really fucked up,” she said, looking inside its little brown eyes. “I ruined everything and lost my best friend. My person. My…Jackie.” Little ears moved again, and the little ball of fluff’s nose wiggled again. “I didn’t mean to, you know?” She dropped back down onto her pillow, ”I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I don’t even like Jeff. Fuck, I don’t even like guys!” Silence. Had she just confessed her secret to…a bunny rabbit? Had she really just admitted it out loud? “Fuck.” She ran a hand through her still-damp hair and closed her eyes. " What am I going to do?"

She ended up falling asleep. Her arm around the little box, with Bunny sleeping peacefully inside, was tucked in between the folds of her old flannel shirt. Shauna dreamt of happy memories that night. She dreamed of shared giggles and stolen glances. She dreamt of honey-brown locks and hazel eyes. She dreamt of kissing strawberry-lipstick-coated lips. She dreamt of Jackie. Her Jackie. 

Jackie had been by her side the entire day at school, asking all about how the rabbit was doing, how it had slept, if it had eaten, and what it had eaten. She even asked Shauna how she had slept. Shauna had replied with a "Good , thank you,” accompanied by a small smile. Jackie cares. She had cared enough to ask, and that had made Shauna’s heart flutter and her stomach twist and turn.

After school, they had driven straight to Shauna’s house so Jackie could check on the rabbit. They spent the entire afternoon in her room, with Jackie trying to come up with a name for it and asking it if it liked the ones she suggested, while Shauna laughed at her little antics. She couldn’t remember the last time they had spent time together like this. Well, she could. She just hadn’t dared to think about it because every time she did, she would fall apart over and over again.

“Shaunie!” Jackie squealed excitedly.

“Huh?” Shauna abandoned the book she was reading and looked at her friend.

“Shaunie! That’s his name!” She grinned and rubbed the top of his head with her finger.

“What?!” Shauna raised her eyebrows at her friend, but Jackie just shrugged.

“I think it suits him.” She stated it simply.

“Oh?”

“Yep. Brown fur, brown eyes.” She glanced back and forth between Shauna and the rabbit. “You look alike. I think it’s a fitting name."

“Oh…Okay?” Shauna scrunched her face and opened her mouth to say something, but Jackie spoke first.

“Well, not quite. He's cuter than you. Nicer.” She ran her fingers along his little ears.

“Umm, okay…ouch.” She faked a pained expression, only it hadn’t been fake, because Shauna’s heart was bleeding and all she could think of doing was falling onto her knees and begging Jackie to forgive her. “That’s fair, I guess..." was all she settled for, and she went back to reading her book, not that she could focus on any of the written sentences; it was all the same to her—ink on paper.

Jackie eyed her curiously and took Shaunie outside of his box and into her lap. “Do you think Shaunie’s leg will heal quickly?” She asked, her eyes trained on his bandaged leg.

“I don’t know. I think he is doing much better than when we found him. And it’s only been a day."

“Is that right, Shaunie? You’re doing much better now.” She cooed, and Shauna couldn’t suppress the smile that was trying to form on her lips.

“He’s a fighter."

“He is. He is a brave little boy, aren't you?” She cooed again.

“Definitely braver than me,” Shauna whispered to herself.

“What?” Jackie raised her gaze to look at Shauna, who was focused on the book in her hands.

"I don’t think the name suits him. He is brave, and... I'm." The last words were barely audible, but Jackie heard her say, “I’m a coward."

She looked at her for a moment and then stood up. Holding Shaunie in her arms, she walked over to the door. “I’m going to go grab some water... Want me to get you anything?"

“No…thank you.” Shauna replied, offering her a strained smile.

“Okay.” She took a few steps forward, but then she paused and retreated back. “Maybe not. Maybe you’re just scared," she said, looking at Shauna straight in the eye, and then she left to go downstairs.

Weren’t those two the same thing? Shauna thought to herself. It was true. She had been scared. Scared of having to live her entire life in Jackie’s shadow. She always felt more like an extension of Jackie, rather than her own person. Their relationship was consuming her, and the more she dwelled on her feelings for her best friend, the more the need to escape from it all became more and more urgent. When she could no longer be in denial about how she felt for Jackie, when the fact that she saw her as way more than just her best friend since kindergarten began to sink in, Shauna knew she was fucked. So Shauna did what she knew how to do best. She started pushing her away and feeding more resentment towards her. She knew she could never have her, so she went for the next best thing. Jeff. Anything to feel closer to Jackie. Anything that came as close to being with Jackie. And how do you explain that to your best friend? Oh, I fucked your boyfriend because I couldn’t have you. The entire time he was inside me, I was thinking of you. I pretended it was you that I was kissing and that I was holding. I begged him to tell me he loves me, only so I could pretend it was you saying it. Because I was so desperate to have you, Jackie. I was so desperately in love with you, and I still am.

“Is Deb working the night shift again?” Jackie said, walking in and snuggling Shaunie in her arms.

“Uh, yeah. She is.” Shauna was brought back to reality, and unable to put her thoughts in order, she said the first thing that came to her mind. “Do you want to stay the night? We can order pizza and watch a movie.” Jackie eyed her, uncertainty swimming in her eyes. "Uh, if you want to, I mean, Shaunie could use the extra care."

“Yeah, okay. Sure. I’ll just need to call Mom and let her know."

“Of course.”

“I’ll tell her we have an assignment, and we’re going to need to finish it before Monday.” She sat on the bed and crossed her legs, adjusting the rabbit so it would fit in her lap comfortably.

“Okay…Yeah.” Jackie never had to give any sort of explanation as to why she was staying over at Shauna’s. That, of course, was back when they were friends. Now things were different. “I am going to order the pizza. The usual?” 

“Yeah, the usual.” Naturally. Because you don’t just throw away a lifetime of endless shared moments with someone you know better than yourself.

They ate in silence. Well, Shauna did. Jackie was having a monologue with Shaunie, asking him if he would like to have some of her pizza. The rabbit’s ears moved, and it wiggled its little nose. That was as good of an answer she would get from him; he was just a rabbit after all. She couldn’t be upset at him. With Shauna, however, it was different. Because Shauna could actually speak, only she hadn’t. What good is it to have been given a voice when one doesn’t know how to use it?

After finishing their dinner and feeding Shaunie, who had passed on the pizza and had eaten lettuce again, Jackie went downstairs to call her mom, and Shauna prepared the bed. Just like old times, minus Jackie calling her mom.

“Do you have something I can wear to bed?” She asked as she entered the bedroom, where she found Shauna reading her book again. She went straight for the dresser, not waiting to get an answer, and opening it, she quickly grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a faded t-shirt that read ‘Wiskayok High’. “Do you mind if I jump in the shower real quick?"

“Uh no. Go ahead. There’s plenty of warm water.” Shauna replied and got up from where she was sitting on the bed. “Are we going to...share the bed?” She asked in a timid voice. Like a stranger would. She expected Jackie to say yes, or maybe even no, given everything that had gone down between them. But Jackie said none of those things. She just shrugged.

“I don’t care; it's whatever.” She said in a neutral tone and headed straight for the bathroom.

Floor it is then. She used a spare blanket to make herself a makeshift bed, changed into her pajamas, and laid down. She pulled the box with Shaunie in it closer to her and closed her eyes. Tomorrow was a new day. She just had to sleep the night through and hope she wouldn’t wake up with a sore back.

Jackie came out of the bathroom half an hour later. She found Shauna sleeping with her hand placed inside the box, next to a sleeping Shaunie. She went straight to bed.

Maybe that was a bit too harsh, she thought to herself. Making Shauna sleep on the floor in her own house while she occupied her bed. But it wasn't, and she hadn’t. She had told her she didn’t care, and Shauna had decided to take the floor. She wasn’t going to feel bad about this too. 

She watched the pair as they slept. Shaunie’s ears would slightly move every so often, and Shauna was out cold. Her breathing was even, her features relaxed, and her lips slightly parted.

She looks so beautiful. And now Jackie was frustrated with herself and turned around to face the other way, away from the cute little rabbit and away from Shauna. Her Shauna.

“Fucking hell.” She muttered to herself quietly and turned around to face her sleeping friend again. "Shauna," she said, her voice loud enough for her to hear it in her sleep.

Nothing.

And then she saw movement on the floor. "Yeah?" she said, her voice full of sleep now.

“Come to bed…” Jackie meant it to sound suggestive, but it came out more like a demand.

“Okay.” And she did. She got up and taking the box with her, she went to her side of the bed—some things never change—and she lay down, placing Shaunie between the two.

Hazel eyes took in dark brown ones as they lay there, staring at each other and not saying a word. What was there to say? Was there anything left for them to say to one another? And even if there was, would it matter? It was too late now.

“Goodnight Shauna.”

“Goodnight Jackie.” 

Too many tears had fallen, and perhaps some things were better left unsaid.

__________________________________________________________

"I mean, what even is a rabbit? A squirrel with floppy ears and a pom-pom on its ass? Like, why? What even is that?" Jackie thought out loud as she was making Shaunie’s 'bed, folding the old flannel neatly and placing it at the bottom of the box.

“It’s a rabbit... What is this question?” Shauna scrunched her face in confusion as she flipped over the pages of her notebook for what must have been the fifth time.

Jackie tucked Shaunie back into his bed and looked at Shauna. “It’s Saturday."

“Yeah.” More flipping.

“Do you have to study now?” A hint of complaint.

Shauna dropped the notebook to the side and looked back at her friend. "Well..."

“Let’s take Shaunie for a walk,” Jackie said, leaping onto her feet.

“What? Where?”

“Outside! He needs to see the sun, breathe some fresh air, and smell the fresh grass.

“Jackie, he can’t walk yet. His foot is still-” Shauna tried to reason, but Jackie had her mind set already.

“We will carry him in his box! Come on, it will be fun!” She smiled down at the little bunny rabbit and cooed, Won't it, Shaunie?"

“Uhh… I don’t know. Is that even safe for him?”

Jackie rolled her eyes at her. “Of course it's safe! He isn’t going to get out of the box. If you prefer to stay cooped in on such a beautiful day, however, have at it. We are going out!”

“Fine,I am coming with you.” Shauna groaned and stood up from her sitting spot.

“It’s cool. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.” Jackie said, almost dismissively, that the hint of disappointment in her voice was, however, slightly audible.

“I do; I want to.” She did. In fact, she didn’t want to leave Jackie’s side. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

“Okay.”

“Okay. Um, we could go to the park.” Shauna said as she threw on a pair of shoes, and they both made their way downstairs.

“Great! He’s going to love it there! Oh, we should get some food; he might get hungry!"

Excitement was written all over Jackie’s face, and Shauna couldn’t help but smile at her.

They prepared everything they were going to need for their little walk in the park. Jackie made the snacks for Shaunie, while Shauna made some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for them, in case they got hungry too. They packed the stuff in a picnic basket—Jackie had insisted, and she had made Shauna look for one—"There's no way Deb doesn’t have a basket around here,” and they finally left the house and headed for the park.

It had indeed been a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the pleasant, warm breeze blowing every now and then, and no hint of the previous day’s stormy shenanigans. The perfect day for a walk in the park with her no longer best friend. A little bit weird, but Jackie could manage; they were doing this for Shaunie.

“What about over there?” Jackie questioned, furrowing her eyebrows and scratching her head.

“Looks good.” Shauna nodded, and they both made their way toward the spot Jackie had picked.

They spread the little blanket they had packed along with their snacks, and after they placed the box in the middle, they plopped down on the ground. A young couple was sitting underneath a tree, and some kids were playing with a frisbee not too far from where they sat.

“Are you hungry, Shaunie?” Jackie asked the little rabbit, fluffing his ears.

“He ate before we left Jax; I don’t think he is hungry yet.” Shauna deadpanned, and Jackie narrowed her eyes at her.

“I was just making sure.” She said, turning her nose up and then looking back at the rabbit. She then grinned and gently took him out of the box and placed him on the blanket.

“He looks scared,” Shauna said, observing the little animal, whose eyes were wide open and roamed around the area.

“It’s a new environment for him; he is investigating,” Jackie said as she lay on her belly and studied the little creature.

Shauna observed her with an amused look on her face, trying not to show how much she was actually enjoying this. She hadn’t seen her friend be this excited since, well, since she betrayed her and broke her heart into a million pieces. Jackie was smiling now. She was smiling, her eyes were sparkling, and Shauna could pretend for a moment that they never fell apart.

“You have a fluffy little butt!” Jackie’s comment broke Shauna out of her thoughts, and she saw her poke his tail with her finger. A snort escaped her mouth, and Jackie looked at her and asked, “What?"

“Nothing,” Shauna said, managing to compose herself. Jackie then poked the rabbit’s tail again, and their eyes met again.

“Pom pom!” She said and grinned, and then they both burst out laughing. They laughed for a good five minutes. They laughed so hard that their bellies started to ache, and their lungs were burning.

“Look at him; he looks so confused,” Shauna said, completely out of breath.

“He is happy that we came here, though."

“How do you know?"

“I just do,” Jackie smirked. "I'm the rabbit whisperer."

More laughter followed, and then a familiar voice cut their laughter short.

“Hey, losers.” Natalie Scatorccio, sporting her combat boots and signature leather jacket, approached the pair, a wide grin plastered on her face.

“Hey, Nat.” Both girls spoke in unison.

“Picnic in the wilderness, and I didn’t even get an invite?” She said, giving them her best fake frown expression. “What is that?!” Her eyes widened the moment she saw the box.

“It’s a rabbit!” Jackie squealed excitedly. “We found him yesterday. He was all by himself on the road during the storm. We took him to the vet, though, and they said he would be okay. His foot is broken, but other than that, he is completely healthy! Aren’t you Shaunie?” Jackie cooed at the rabbit, and Natalie lifted her eyebrows.

“Shaunie?...” She repeated, smirking and looking in Shauna’s direction. “You the dad?” She spoke, her voice a tad bit lower, as if she were saying something only they were meant to hear.

“Huh? What? No.” Shauna’s face turned slightly red as she fidgeted in her seat. “I’m just taking care of him until he gets better. After that, we will have to find him a suitable home."

Jackie’s mouth dropped, and she turned to look at her. “What? We aren’t giving him away! He is ours now!"

“I uh…” 

“Uh oh. Mommy and Daddy are having a moment.” Natalie said, speaking to the rabbit that just sat there and moved its little ears.

“Don’t worry, Shaunie, you're not going anywhere. I’m taking you home... after I talk to mom first.” Jackie explained herself to the rabbit, with the other two girls looking at her and exchanging looks between the two.

“What’s up? Meeting with Kevyn?” Shauna asked, hoping they could stir the conversation away from the rabbit’s future living accommodations.

“No. I am actually waiting for someone.” Natalie said,pulling the pack of cigarettes out of her pocket.

“Hot date?” Jackie chirped and winked at her.

"Uh, sort of? No. It’s a meet-up. But the asshole is late, and I’m really starting to get pissed.” She grumbled, and when Shauna and Jackie gave her both a confused look, she continued, “Kevyn found someone who’s selling music equipment that’s in very good condition, and the prices are ridiculously low. He couldn’t come though, so he sent me to do his business deed, but Kai is nowhere to be seen."

“Kai?” Shauna asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. That’s the name Kevyn gave me."

“Is it a girl or a dude?” Jackie asked, her eyes now trained back at the bunny.

“Shit, I don’t know? But they will surely hear it once we meet. I’ve been here for thirty minutes. Better have a good excuse for standing me up.” Natalie said as she took a long drag from her cigarette. “I’ma go around and look... Maybe the asshole got lost in the park or something. You guys have fun; don't fight too much in front of the child. You don’t wanna traumatize him.” She grinned and walked away, waving them goodbye.

“Bye Nat.” Both girls yelled in unison as they watched her walk away on her quest to find the mystery seller.

“I think he wants to sit in the grass.” Jackie’s eyes were trained on the rabbit, but it seemed like she was looking beyond it.

“You think?” Shauna laughed and let her body fall back down onto the blanket. “You think or you know?"

“Shaunie, do you want to step on the grass?” Jackie, in all her seriousness, asked.

Nothing. 

“Shaunie?” 

“Jax, you do know rabbits don’t speak, right?"

"It doesn't hurt to ask him. A little effort to communicate can go a long way, Shauna.” Jackie’s tone was bitter, and she didn’t even try to hide it.

Great. Use the child to get back at me for everything I put you through. "You're right."

“What?” Jackie lifted the rabbit and gently placed him on the grass. Its eyes moved, and it wiggled its nose.

“You’re right,” Shauna repeated. suck at communicating, and it cost me my best friend. So yeah, you're right. A little effort can go a long way."

Jackie couldn’t help herself, and she just scoffed. “You didn’t lose your best friend because you sucked at communicating; you lost your best friend because you sucked my boyfriend's dick."

A pause. 

“Uh, Jackie I didn’t suck Jef-”

“Fucked him. Safe difference, Shauna,” she stated flatly, rolling her eyes.

“But it isn't," she whispered. And it wasn’t, because one would require her to actually be into him. And she wasn’t.

“Whatever.” Jackie huffed and went back to playing with Shaunie.

Shauna felt the overwhelming sensation of a scorching water bucket falling on top of her as she lay there, gazing at the blue sky. It wasn’t whatever to her. Nothing about them ever was.

“It was you.” It had been that simple. All of this time, it had been this, fucking, simple.

“What?” Jackie said, looking down at Shauna, whose eyes were still floating up in the ocean of blue.

“It was you.” She stood up and sat, facing Jackie, and their eyes locked. “It's always been you. It still is."

Jackie felt her mouth go dry and her hands get clammy. "Shauna, I don-”

“I was mad at you. I was mad at how much of a hold you had on me. I was mad at how confused being around you made me feel.” Her eyes had turned glassy, and her breath was now uneven. "I was sick of always coming second best. I was exhausted from having you dictate and plan our entire lives. I was angry at you for never taking into account what I wanted or felt.”

Jackie felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she shook her head. “Yeah, and you never thought that talking about it would be a good idea? You just decided to write it all down while all of this time I thought you…” She wiped away the single tear that had escaped and ran down her cheek.

“I wanted to. I wanted to, but I was terrified.” She sounded almost defeated. She felt defeated.

“Of what, Shauna? You were my best friend; we told each other everything. You could have told me everything."

“Of losing you, Jackie! I was terrified of losing you.” Shauna couldn’t bother holding her tears anymore; she just let them spill all out. ”I loved you so fucking much that the mere thought of you leaving drove me insane. I couldn’t have you. I knew I couldn’t have you, and it killed me. It ate me from the inside. So I did it. I fucked Jeff.” She let out a bitter laugh and shook her head. ”It’s fucked up, isn’t it? It worked, at least for a moment. God, the entire time I was thinking of you.”

Jackie’s tears had hit pause, and she was looking at Shauna as if she had just grown two extra heads.

“Yeah… I am pathetic like that. Fucking sue me.” She hugged her knees and pulled them close to her body. “I thought that it would go away eventually. I thought that if I could get angry enough at you, the feeling would go away.” She closed her eyes for a brief moment and then opened them again, meeting Jackie's. “But it didn’t. It didn’t go away. I still loved you. Love." She cleared her throat, now drier than a desert. ”I’m still in love with you.”

A sad puppy that had just been rejected from being adopted; Shauna Shipman putting all of her cards on the picnic table, properly exposed and vulnerable, for the first time in her life.

Jackie opened and closed her mouth several times before speaking, and when she finally decided to make a sound, Shauna beat her to it.

"Jackie," she said, looking at the spot where Shaunie had been sitting. Because the moment Jackie followed her gaze, her eyes widened. Shaunie was gone . They exchanged another look, and their eyes went back to roaming around—nothing .

“Oh my god!” Jackie cried out and stood up. They both did. “He was just here!”

“He can’t have gone too far! His leg is broken. Come on, we will find him.” Shauna said, her voice filled with urgency as she started walking around their spot, looking for the little rabbit.

“I had my hand near him the whole time! When did he sneak away?! I can’t believe I lost him."

“You didn’t lose him. We’re going to find him.”

They spent an entire hour looking. They searched every bush, every thick grass patch, every bench, everywhere. But Shaunie was nowhere to be found. He was gone. Just like that, he poofed into thin air. They walked back to their stuff, and Jackie fell down onto the blanket. She was on the verge of tears now, tired from all the looking, tired from everything .

“I lost him. I saved him only to lose him."

“Jackie…you didn’t..” But Jackie was crying now, sobbing uncontrollably, and then the sobbing turned into painful wailing. Shauna did the one thing she knew she had to do and wrapped her arms around her.

“He’s gone, Shauna.” Her voice cracked, and Shauna felt her own heart crack open in two. “I can’t… I can’t believe I will never get to see him again. Hold him. Play with him and see him flop his little ears."

And then they were both crying. With Jackie nestled into Shauna’s arms, they sat there and cried until the sky turned dark and they were both out of tears to cry.

It happens eventually—the cathartic aftermath. A sense of peace overtakes the soul, and you’re just there, completely surrendered to life as it is. They had both surrendered now.

Shauna had one hand tangled in honey-brown curls, her other one gently drawing circles onto Jackie’s back. They stayed like that for a while, even after all the crying had subsided and they had both calmed down. Jackie had been the first one to speak after pulling back out of Shauna’s warm embrace.

“I’m ready to go home.” She said, looking up at Shauna, who just nodded at her and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

“Okay… Let’s go home."

They stood up and started slowly gathering their things. Someone had to deal with Shaunie’s box, and it sure wasn't going to be Jackie doing it. So Shauna put it aside and gathered the blanket from the ground, folding it so it would fit back into the picnic basket. She reached down to where the basket was lying, tipped to the side, and put it upright, opening one of the flaps again so she could stuff the blanket in. She put her hand inside first to make sure there was enough space and she wouldn’t squish the food they had brought but never got to eat, and letting out a loud squeal, she pushed the basket and tipped it again back to its initial position.

Jackie turned to look at her from where she was tying up her shoes. “What’s wrong?”

“Jackie…” Shauna trailed, her eyes glued to the basket.

“What?” She whispered, following Shauna’s gaze.

The basket flap moved slightly, and then it moved again. And then it moved a lot, and two fluffy ears popped out.

“SHAUNIE,” Jackie screamed and launched herself toward the basket.

She pulled the basket flap completely open and out Shaunie crawled.

"SHAUNA, WE FOUND HIM.” Jackie squealed and took the rabbit in her hands, hugging it tightly—as tightly as one could hug an injured rabbit—and she looked at her friend.

Shauna let out a long, loud sigh and went over, wrapping her arms around Jackie. “Thank God…” She looked at the little brown ball of fur, "You little mischievous squirrel!”

A smile appeared on Jackie’s tear-stained face, and she looked at Shauna and then back at Shaunie. She then gently tugged on its fluffy tail, “Pom, pom.”

If the crying had been cathartic, the laughing fit they got in was even more so. When they finally managed to compose themselves, they walked back home.

“He’s so cute when he is sleeping,” Jackie said, observing Shaunie, now in his box, on top of Shauna’s bed.

“He is.” Shauna, who was standing behind her, agreed.

“Yeah… Just like you."

“Uh..I..” 

Jackie turned around to face her and reached out, taking her two hands in her own. They stood there, looking at each other. No; not looking. They were swimming into each other’s eyes.

“Shauna Shipman,” Jackie said and Shauna gave her a small, sheepish smile. “Your communications skills suck.” At that, Shauna just nodded. “You’re shit at handling your own liquor; you're a terrible liar, and honestly, you were kinda terrible at being my best friend too.

“I know… I-” 

“But I love you. I always have, and I probably always will.” She smiled and sighed, “Which kind of sucks because I can’t imagine my life without you in it, and it terrifies me, but there’s nothing I can do about that, you know? "Nothing; but hope you feel the same way I do."

“Jackie…” Shauna's heart was skipping beats left and right now. “I am so sorry for everything—everything that I did and didn’t do. I am sorry for hurting you, and I am sorry for ever letting you go.” She took one step closer. "The truth is, Jackie, I don’t even know. I don't even know where you end and I begin, and that terrified me; it still does.” She ran her tongue over her bottom lip before speaking again, "But I am done now. I am done running. I am done running away from my feelings, from you, from us. I love you, Jackie. I love you so much that I don’t know what to do with all that love I have for you.”

“I know. You can give it to me.” Simple as that. And then Jackie smiled, and Shauna’s mind was made up.

They both leaned in at the same time, meeting each other halfway. Jackie’s lips tasted like strawberries, and Shauna felt like the ground disappeared beneath her feet, but she didn’t care. She was kissing Jackie, and Jackie was kissing her. Most importantly, she had told Jackie she loved her, and Jackie had told her she loved her too. Their kiss was sweet and tender. Years of piled-up emotions and yearning for one another, conveyed in the blink of a moment.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both smiling. Shauna’s brown eyes radiated so much warmth that Jackie felt her feet turn into jelly.

“I know now. I figured it out.” Jackie said, running her hands down Shauna’s sides and pulling her closer.

“Hmm? What?” 

“‘What even is a rabbit’, I figured it out."

Shauna looked at her expectantly, her own hands wrapped around Jackie’s slightly smaller frame.

Jackie turned out to look at Shaunie, sleeping peacefully in his little makeshift bed on top of Shauna’s old flannel shirt. “They’re little fluffy creatures, full of love and happiness."

Turning to look at the little rabbit, Shauna nodded and said, “Sounds about right."

The rabbit wiggled its little nose in his sleep, making the two girls giggle and pull each other into a tight hug.

After tucking themselves in bed—Shauna lying on her back and Jackie nestled against her chest—and sharing a kiss—a very long kiss—goodnight, they were finally ready to get some very much-needed sleep after what must probably have been the longest day of their entire lives.

“I love you, Jackie Taylor.” And it was true. She loved Jackie with all her heart and all her being; she loved her with everything she had.

“I love you too, Shauna Shipman.” And she did. Jackie loved Shauna more than life itself.

Both girls said in unison, “ We love you, Shaunie. " And Shaunie loved them too. And even though he couldn’t say it, they had felt it. It had brought them back together. It brought them back home.

THE END

[chloesimaginationthings]

Susie meets the friendly yellow rabbit in FNAF..

[hishighnesstheprincess]

Co-creator is @khalewren

All ships and characters are getting tagged so if you have a blocked tag and click on this to see it anyway, that's on you

[pokeberry5]

girl experiences gender euphoria and is immediately slammed by grief

for @litttlittt <3. this was supposed to be a portrait of caroline hill, but litta mentioned tim looking like janet when dressed as caroline and identity issues and angst and things spiraled

something about tim not knowing if he's his mother's child or bruce's or neither's.

figuring out the looks:

i wanted janet to have that poofy 70s hair

[screwpinecaprice]

It's been so lonely here. And

climbing up that hill, you must be so tired...

Quick screenshot redraw of the shot before my favorite Witch Sheep frame so far!

[tagerrkix]

WHERE IS HE D:

(sorry for deleting and posting this again 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️ one tiny insignificant thing was bothering me and when I edited it it wouldn't show on reblogs and that kinda made me go 😠😠😠)

[egophiliac]

swipes everything else off of the table to yell about diasomnia flower bookmarks

(I gave Silver one too :D)

[cubbihue]

When you said that the unluckiest person is most hopeful, it reminded me of Nagito Komaeda. If the universe were combined, do you think he would fair well having Anti Cosmo as his anti fairy?

Funnily enough, I feel like it would be Hajime who would have an anti-fairy companion. I mean, he’s surrounded by extremely skilled people! That would attract bad luck in some way for him. Nagito wouldn’t be good food for anti-fairies. Or Fairies. Or Pixies.

...Honestly, Fairies aren’t quite sure what food he produces. It’s like a weird amalgamation of luck, desire, greed, and all sorts of emotions they can’t disentangle. Like a crockpot gone horribly horribly wrong. Eating any bit of that would make any fairy sick.

Eugh. The hell is wrong with that one.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[kagooleo]

even the biggest beasts need a little love and care when they've evolved (watch your head!)

[sunny1927]

Finally… after 2-3 months of working on this…

it’s finally done!!! I can finally sleep in peace now-

To give context: Mickey went to the Realm of Darkness to search for Oswald (cause he figured out he was still alive and such, don’t know how). And later he found him, but not the same brother as he knew before… (and then they proceeded to have a 3 and a half minute musical because it’s what every Disney characters do sjfjsjdk-)

Anyways enjoy! This was really fun, yet challenging project to do considering this is my first animatic haha! ☀️✨

(Animatic inspired by Frootoon on YouTube btw! Just wanna give credit is all)

[orions-garden]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT WAS A MAJOR INSPIRATION FOR JUNO STEEL

[art-is-kayos]

Everlasting A5

[loveletterworm]

Badass picture I drew

[screwpinecaprice]

nasty

[deoidesign]

Adam's director finally learns he didn't kill Steve and they have a confrontation

(The venn diagram of people who both understand my comic and this meme is so so so small but I'm within that and this is hilarious)

[carlarte]

Oh, Hazel, look! The field! It’s covered with blood!’

Fiver is my favorite character in Watership Down, he's just like me fr. I was afraid this wouldn't read especifically as Fiver, but alas... i liked my initial sketch a lot so i kept it as it was.