#what emerges on the border between two things

[blood-orange-juice]

Accidentally deleted an ask instead of replying, so I'll just make a post. The ask was about how me valuing Traveler and Childe's friendship makes my view of the character biased.

Idk, mate, I think it's impossible to separate a person from their system of relationships. Would Childe be the same character without his love for his family, his loyalty to the Tsaritsa, his fawning over Skirk and his strange obsession with the whale? I don't think so.

Maniacs and blood knights are found in media in abundance, it's his attachments that make him unique.

So why should we make his interactions with Zhongli or the Traveler an exception? Just because they can also be shipped and there have been bad OOC takes? Please.

What matters is not their *relationship* (whether the Traveler reciprocates and how exactly the result looks is left to the player), but rather Childe's ability to offer this relationship to an enemy. The strange amount of trust he shows, the reason he picks this person specifically, the way it ties into deep lore. Attachments and sympathies add depth to characters and this one adds a particularly rare kind of depth.

He saw someone who is trying to transcend their limits and possibly reality itself (someone like him) and offered his trust and admiration with no questions asked. That's incredibly beautiful and it tells us so much about him. He wouldn't be the same character without an ability to do that.

I don't think it shows my bias, I think it shows good writing on Hoyo's part. Characters sharing a story should interact and have synergy, it's not much of a story otherwise.

[ckret2]

Above: Bill showing off the messed up things he can make the Nightmare Realm do.

Below: Bill literally an hour later.

Here, have a fic. In which the gods try to figure out what to do about the new omnicidal chaos god who would rather destroy reality than politely exit Dimension Zero so they can arrest him for burning down multiple dimensions.

This is part 7 of a ???9-ish??? part plot about the Axolotl meeting this friendly harmless innocent little triangle in the wake of the Euclidean Massacre and then getting repeatedly slapped in the face with all the atrocities Bill's committed. If you want to read and/or look at the pretty art on the other parts, here's one, two, three, four, five, and six.

####

There was fresh fear amongst the many gods crowded around the site where Dimension 2 Delta had once stood.

The perimeter around Dimension Zero's turbulent border had pulled back dramatically, leaving a barren no man's land between the police cordon and the triangle's territory.

The fires in the 1D and 2D universes, for a moment so close to doused, had returned with a vengeance—and by the sound of some chatter amongst the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force agents, they suspected it was a literal vengeance. The storm cloud heading the ATTF operations had needed to personally visit the burning dimensions again—see which previously contained fires had reignited or jumped their firelines, and see which new fires had broken out so that it could redistribute the available firefighting forces appropriately.

The Time Giant had gone along to inspect the damage and figure out which dimensions could be repaired—provided they ever stopped the fires—and which would ultimately needed to be rebuilt.

And anyone who wasn't actively engaged in trying to control the fires was still trying to process the newest crisis: the leader of the mortals who'd fallen into Dimension Zero wasn't a fellow mortal victim, but an out-of-control new god with the power to move and burn entire universes who didn't seem to understand that he was about to destroy all of reality, himself included.

VENDOR had finally run out of excuses to avoid the media, and was now reluctantly holding an impromptu press conference with the reporters on the scene—and THEY looked so miserable the Axolotl nearly felt bad for THEM. He overheard THEM blurt out, probably far louder than intended, "I will not be remembered as the god who was in charge of the emergency response efforts that got the entire multiverse destroyed!" and he wondered whether VENDOR remembered either that THEY weren't in charge or that, if the multiverse were destroyed, THEY wouldn't be remembered at all. No one would be.

From the conversations he overheard, the Axolotl got the impression that no one, even the most senior ATTF agents on the scene, had ever dealt with a threat to the multiverse this dire. No one knew what to do about the triangle—least of all the Axolotl, who was only here because everybody still hadn't realized that he wasn't supposed to be.

So while everyone else was arguing, privately panicking, or actually doing something useful, he was floating at the cordon holding people away from Dimension Zero.

####

There were a few stars and rocky bodies on the wrong side of the cordon. The triangle's sun—the star that had once shone down on his 2D world before it burned down (before he burned it down)—was still out there. Once again, it was falling toward Dimension Zero.

He glanced around to see if anyone was watching, then swooped under the cordon, scooped up the sun, and carried it back to the safe zone. He opened a portal to his tank, slid the star inside, then shook out his forefeet and inspected the burns on the soft skin. He'd been playing with a lot of fire today.

"Axolotl!"

The Axolotl looked up. He wasn't surprised by the familiar sight of his Oracle's soul emerging from the aether—she'd already come by once to but he was frustrated by it. One more person he had to protect in this mess.

"Something happened—"

"I know." He quickly curled around her, doing his best to shield her from the other gods in case any of the nearby arguments escalated—or the triangle decided to lash out at the third dimension again. "You shouldn't be here now. It isn't safe."

Of course, she ignored him. She wouldn't be the kind of person he picked as one of his Oracles if she weren't the kind of person who ignored gods' warnings. "Our seers heard the whole sky scream in pain, and then saw a vast eye—"

"Over there." He lifted his tail out of the way just enough to let her see the border of Dimension Zero.

No matter where you looked at Dimension Zero, that golden fleck of light seemed to twinkle in the center of your field of vision. The Oracle squinted. "The little flat yellow creature?"

"He was bigger earlier."

"What happened?"

"A showdown with the cops."

The Oracle paused as she tried to reconcile that with the seers' apocalyptic vision. "Who won?"

"He did."

"Good." And she wouldn't have been the kind of person the Axolotl picked for his Oracles if she didn't say that, either.

On most days, he'd agree with her. But after seeing what the triangle could do—knowing what he would do... The cops weren't the answer, but he had to be stopped somehow.

(He could feel the triangle's eye on them. Was he listening to them now?)

"He's shaped like a triangle. Is he connected to the blind seer's final vision?"

The seer who'd seen the sky burn and collapse into a blinding triangular light. "He is. He's the last survivor of the first dimension to burn. His people called him the Magister Mentium; he was a seer to his people, too."It tore the Axolotl's heart to say more than that—but he wouldn't mislead his Oracle. "Somehow, he started the fire."

Before the Oracle could ask him how, a faint voice yelled, "Hey!"

They turned toward Dimension Zero. The triangle was on the border, looking straight at them. He shouted again, "Hey! You with the pink freak!"

"What?"

"How many fingers do you have!"

She gave her four arms a puzzled look. "Twenty!"

"Wow!" The triangle sounded genuinely impressed. "What do you use 'em all for?!"

"Normal finger things?" She asked, "Why's your hat so skinny?"

"What hat?"

She paused. "Never mind!" She turned back to the Axolotl and whispered, "Is the hat part of his body?"

"I don't think so. He didn't have it the last time I saw him."

She kept trying to look at the triangle until the Axolotl curled around her to stop her staring. "That's the seer who's destroying universes?"

He wanted to make excuses for the triangle. He wanted to defend him. "Yes."

She was silent a moment before asking the question she'd really come for: "Is my world in danger?"

"Not yet. Not directly. But... if he isn't stopped, it eventually will be," the Axolotl said. "He's fallen into the center of the multiverse and is trying to build a kingdom there. If he fails, it will collapse and kill him; but if he succeeds, it will destabilize and kill all of reality."

"Wh—?!" She gave him a look of disbelief. "But—that doesn't make any sense! He loses either way!"

"I know."

"So why is he endangering everyone for nothing?!"

"I don't know."

"I'm going to find out."

"Wait—!"

The Oracle's astral projection could be very slippery when she wanted; she was already past the Axolotl and flying toward Dimension Zero. "Hey! Magister Mentium! I want a word with you!"

"Don't cross the border between dimensions!" The Axolotl clutched the police tape in both forefeet as he watched.

After five minutes of shouting and death threats, the Oracle flew back to the Axolotl.

"I think he's stupid," she said.

He smiled sadly. "I fear it's something much worse than that."

He had the skin-crawling feeling that the triangle was staring at him. He forced himself not to turn and find out for sure.

####

The Time Giant was the first to return from the frontlines of the fire. She joined the Axolotl next to the police tape, muttered something about needing to pick up some "stuff" from "a couple centuries ago," snapped out a length of time tape, and returned three seconds later in a different shirt with sleeves rolled up and carrying a folding table, a bundle of blueprints, and an energy drink. She unfolded the table in the void, spread out her blueprints on it, chugged her drink, hunched over the table, and ignored the rest of the universe.

The Oracle gazed up at the Time Giant and instantly fell in love. The Axolotl politely pretended he didn't notice.

VENDOR was the second to float over—slumped forward, lights dim, looking like THEY were returning from a war zone rather than a press conference. Heaving a weary sigh, THEY positioned THEMSELF next to the cordon with the Axolotl and Time Giant; which was the point at which the Axolotl realized he'd accidentally formed a club of people who didn't want to be in charge of this mess but were. "Any change?" 

The Time Giant grunted distractedly. The Axolotl said, "No." The Oracle said, "I accidentally taught the triangle an obscene gesture." 

VENDOR turned toward Dimension Zero.

The triangle sprouted two extra arms and gleefully pantomimed something filthy.

VENDOR turned away from Dimension Zero and sighed even more heavily.

When the storm cloud drifted over, VENDOR said, "Go away unless you have good news." The arrogance had drained out of THEIR voice; what little pomposity THEY had left was a thin mask over exhausted fear. (The Axolotl could sympathize; he felt the same dread weighing low in the pit of his stomach.)

Before the storm cloud had left to check on the other dimensions, it had still been hailing in fear; by now, it had whipped itself up into a furious blizzard. It had to stay back from the group to keep from freezing them too, and even at that frost still crept across VENDOR's glass and the Axolotl had to shield the Oracle from the cold. "Well," it said stiffly, trying to rein in its rage and sounding even colder as a consequence.. "Almost all the new fires have already been contained. I'll say one thing for that—" It paused as it mentally glided over what was no doubt a long and creative list of insults, "—guy; at least he's making an effort to be more careful of where he kicks the neighboring dimensions so the damage doesn't spread as fast." It sighed a chilly, angry gust of wind. "Unfortunately, he's gotten more aggressive about kidnapping mortals from other dimensions. He's narrowed his focus, but he's kicking ten times harder."

"That wasn't very good good news," VENDOR whined.

"Sorry. Fresh out," the cloud said. "Fact is, if we don't stop him, we're toast."

Nobody was surprised by that. VENDOR asked, "How much time do we have?" THEY turned to the Time Giant.

While VENDOR had gotten pathetic and the cloud was seething with barely-restrained rage, the Time Giant had only grown more stoic. Her face was set in a stony mask; her jaw was tight enough that she could bite an airplane clean in half. Since she'd come back, she hadn't glanced up from the stack of blueprints she'd retrieved.

It took her a moment to realize the question was directed toward her. She jerked her head up as if ready to snap at whoever had interrupted her; but caught herself as she processed the question. "Uhh, pffff..." She squinted toward the horizon of time, face scrunched up to expose her teeth. "If we get the fires put out? Few years. Couple decades at the outside. Reckon it's more than enough time to jury rig something that'll keep reality propped up while we get in a construction crew to set up a new Big Bang, no problem."

The Axolotl whispered reassuringly to the Oracle, "A couple of decades to us is over a thousand of your people's generations."

"A couple of decades," VENDOR muttered, voice rough, a few stray moons rattling around behind THEIR product dispenser door. "This multiverse was built to last an eternity. To think it could be destabilized enough to collapse within a couple of decades, all because of one..." THEY fell silent. They could all feel the steady staring eye watching them from deep within Dimension Zero.

The cloud said, "And if he doesn't let us stop all the fires?"

She pursed her lips, brows knit tightly. "If the fires keep spreading and that triangle keeps destabilizing things, the whole thing could collapse in a week tops."

"That's still a few years for your people," the Axolotl told the Oracle optimistically.

She swatted his paw. "Aren't you powerful enough to, just—stop him? You're gods." They must have seemed undefeatable to her—living beings the size of mountains and vast world-moving machines and forces of nature. That was how the gods always looked to mortals.

But unfortunately, when you got right down to it, they weren't much more than weirdly big people.

VENDOR muttered, "Well, I don't have the authority to call in the kind of reinforcements that can take that thing down." (More cautious now that THEY realized this wasn't a threat THEY could effortlessly crush in THEIR gears, weren't THEY.)

The cloud said, "The Apocalyptic Threat Task Force can make that a call that in any situation that poses a credible threat to multiversal safety and security, but..." It asked the Axolotl and Time Giant, "Just how strong do you think he is?"

"Could be omnipotent," the Time Giant said. "Wouldn't be surprised."

The Axolotl reluctantly nodded in agreement. "He doesn't understand what he's doing yet, but he's already manipulating the fabric of reality with his bare hands."

VENDOR made a tiny noise like a malfunctioning motor at that.

Grimly, the cloud said, "I could put in a call to HQ. We have a few higher dimensional types on call. Creator gods and the like. They're probably the only ones who'd stand a chance against an omnipotent god that can make a whole universe do a barrel roll. But if we aren't sure we could win the fight, and fast..."

The assembled group of gods cast a nervous look at the gaping hole into Dimension Zero.

The triangle, smaller than one of the Axolotl's fingertips, stared back from the border. He solemnly spread his arms wide. "You wanna go? Come at me."

They did not want to go. They turned away.

"Bad idea," the Time Giant said. "If the laws of physics are unstable, even the strongest god wouldn't have an advantage. It'd be like putting the fastest sprinter in the multiverse on a racetrack without gravity. And since he's the one running the physics, he could practically hand himself a win."

"And on top of that, any fight down there risks knocking the multiverse down," the cloud said. "It's too dangerous. We can't risk attacking him."

"We'll just have to hope he doesn't attack us first," VENDOR muttered.

The Axolotl's stomach flipped. He knew something they didn't. "Actually, I... don't think he can."

All attention was on him. VENDOR said, "Please tell me you have some actual good news."

"I don't know." He wasn't sure whether it would make any difference. All he knew was that he felt like he was betraying the triangle. He lowered his voice to what for him passed as a whisper. "But, I think... I think his power is limited to the borders of his realm." As he said it, he knew he was telling the truth. Some beings got like that when they were old enough; they could just feel when something was right. "He can't impact anything that isn't touching his dimension. He's essentially harmless to the rest of the multiverse. The only real threat is... well." He gestured helplessly at the frothing chaos. "The fact that the dimension is like that."

Voice hushed, the cloud said slowly, "Hold on. So... he's trapped in the crawlspace beneath reality."

"No—he's trapped in the 'dream realm' he's built inside the crawlspace. He can drag the realm out with him, but... we saw what happens when he does that." They'd all heard how existence had howled in pain. They'd seen how even the triangle had been scared enough to stop.

"So we have no hope of fighting him in his bunker—but if we drag him across the threshold... the fight's over." THEY turned to the two cops THEY'd been leading around all day.

The crab and burning wheels tried very had to look like they hadn't noticed the conversation at all. 

VENDOR and the cloud exchanged a frustrated glance. Sarcastically, the cloud muttered, "Yeah. Easy."

The Axolotl said, "I'm not even sure we can drag him out of his bunker. I don't know if he won't leave, or physically can't leave—just that his power stops at his borders."

VENDOR sighed, "So we're back where we started."

The Time Giant smacked her mess of blueprints, making the other gods start. "No we aren't! If his influence can't spread outside his dimension, then I've got a fix." She held up a thick binder. "It's a fiddly chrono-construction technique to shore up brittle dimensions. It can work as a stopgap measure to stop him from destabilizing any more dimensions." She looked at VENDOR. "It'll make a lot of extra work for the urban planning committee."

VENDOR's lights flickered off. The Axolotl could see the numbers on THEIR digital display as THEY slowly counted to ten. Then THEY turned their lights back on and said, with an air of forced calm, "All right. I don't think there is any getting out of this without extra work. Tell me the idea."

"Right now, all our dimensions are connected adjacent to each other—corner to corner and edge to edge. It's simple that way. But, if we restructure the dimensions parallel to each other, we can use the pressure of the outside dimensions to press in on the crawlspace and keep its contents in place. It's gonna be a mess. Forget about the Dimension 1, Dimension 2, Dimension 3 system we have right now; by the end of this we're gonna have Dimension 143 and Dimension M and Dimension 6.5 and Dimension -17 and imaginary number dimensions and quadratic dimensions..." She shrugged helplessly. "But if we can't get this bozo out, it might be our only option."

"Parallel universes? It sounds ridiculous." VENDOR let out a low moan of pain, "We'll have to restructure the whole multiverse."

"Yup. Probably."

"Everything's so nice and tidy now. A perfectly arranged planned community. Nice, straight, gridlike dimensions..."

"Parallel dimensions do have some potential benefits over adjacent dimensions," the Time Giant offered comfortingly. "Easier interdimensional travel—"

VENDOR grumbled, "Oh, I know, I know, Municipalitron's been pushing to experiment with parallel dimensions for the past two hundred billion years. He won't shut up about how it would benefit mass transit."

The cloud said, "All I care about is the multiverse surviving long enough to worry about mass transit."

The time giant said, "The biggest downside is that once we've completely closed up the crawlspace, when that dimension he's set up inevitably collapses, there's no easy way to get back all that energy and dark matter. If we ever decide to rip open a rift big enough to drain it out, it could take trillions of years if we don't want the flood to destroy the receiving universe. We might never clear out the rubble. But on the other hand, if it's sealed up well enough, it won't matter if the ruins are left to rot."

"What about the hostages?" the Axolotl asked. "Won't that trap everyone inside?"

"We'll have to leave manhole covers and maintenance shafts, obviously. Until the fabric of reality's finished unraveling, we'll have a chance to get them out," the Time Giant said. "Even that 'Magister' can leave if he decides to surrender himself. Assuming he's willing to leave his construction project behind."

If he could leave it.

VENDOR let a heavy whoosh out THEIR vents. "Balls. Very well, submit your proposal to the committee. I'll vouch for it. But I won't like it." THEY muttered, "Municipalitron's never going to let me live this down."

The storm aimed its sunbeam at the Time Giant. "Can't start construction as long as he's still starting fires and picking fights, though—can we? Unless you can build new dimensions on top of an active inferno?"

"N—Hold on." She squinted toward the future to check. "Nope. Though once I get down a fireproof foundation, we won't need to worry about it anymore. Got a trick called timeline splitting: you reformat a dimension so that the timelines fork infinitely, any time a choice is made. If he tries to burn 'em, they split: one timeline he burned and one he didn't. He'll just add more timelines and thicken the foundation every time he tries to attack the neighbors."

Horrified, VENDOR said, "I've been trying to pass an ordinance to ban timeline splitting for an eon."

"Has it passed yet?" the storm asked.

"No!"

"Great. Then that's our plan," the storm said. "We just need somebody to talk him down long enough to put out the fires and get the fireproof foundation in place." Its sunbeam turned toward the Time Giant. "Maybe if someone explains the stakes to him—?"

She shook her head, expression flat. "I'm a civil engineer, not a hostage negotiator. If he didn't get it the first time I laid it out to him, he ain't gonna get it the second time."

VENDOR asked the cloud, "Isn't the Apocalyptic Threat Task Force trained in talking down apocalyptic threats?"

"Yes, but no," the storm cloud said.

"What does that mean! Just... go up to that thing"—THEY tilted toward Dimension Zero—"and keep him calm."

"Are you kidding? I'm not suicidal!"

"This is your job, you're an apoc cop!"

"Apoc agent!" It raised its voice, "And talking down threats is not my speciality! I was sent because we thought this was a structural issue, not an actively malevolent entity!"

"Hey!" the triangle shouted. "Who are you calling malevolent?! Hey! Hey! Look me in the eye and say that again, I'll kick your base! I'm the most benevolent entity you've ever met!"

They wordlessly avoided eye contact with the triangle, scooted another solar system farther away from Dimension Zero, and lowered their voices again. 

The storm cloud asked VENDOR, "Shouldn't this be your department? We're dealing with the possible genesis of a new god, and his first act was destroying a dimension and destabilizing reality. Sounds like politics to me."

Delicately, the Axolotl said, "I don't think THEY're the best choice."

"I'm certainly not. I handle the urban planning committee's budgeting," VENDOR said. "I deal with accountants, not terrorists! The only reason I'm here is to provide planets for those flat refugees, and I am sick of being at every humanitarian crisis in the multiverse just because I vend planets—"

The Axolotl had taken all of VENDOR that he could. He rounded on THEM, snarling, "Why are you even in politics, if it's not to help mortals? Is that not why you accepted the title of 'god'?" He flared his gills and his eyes glowed in rage. "Because it's why I did! I wish there was more I could do to help! And you, you can do more than anyone, and you're complaining about it?!"

VENDOR jerked back from the Axolotl. For a moment, the whole group was stunned silent. The Axolotl's eyes stopped glowing. He had to fight the urge to shrink back self-consciously from their staring. His Oracle patted his side comfortingly.

And then VENDOR's lights  brightened. "You know how to talk to mortals like that. This triangle is just like the omnicidal monsters you represent every day." THEIR camera whirred as THEY sized him up. "If you want to help more, then why don't you?"

Ah. The Axolotl paused to swallow his anger. 

He glanced down at his Oracle, who had been hiding in his shadow as she took notes and attempted to surreptitiously ogle the Time Giant. He said, "I think..."

She nodded. "I'll wake up." And then she faded out as her spirit sank back down to a lower plane.

The Axolotl tried to avoid looking at VENDOR—how could someone without a face look so smug?—and focused on the Time Giant. "What do you need me to get him to do?"

####

Biologically there was really no such thing as a god, in the same way that botanically there is really no such thing as a vegetable. Tomatoes are fruits; spinach is a leaf; carrots are roots; broccoli is an unfinished flower. The word "vegetable" just indicates the cultural role a plant performs in the kitchen.

The word "god" indicated the cultural role an entity performed in cosmology: a god was anything that people considered powerful enough to be worth worshiping.

A trillion trillion priests and philosophers and theologians and politicians had attempted to pin down a firm definition—but any definition was only ever valid to the worshipers who agreed it was right. The simple truth was that a being who had created a universe could be called a god, and a particularly impressive tree could be called a god, and a con artist who used clever stage magic to convince people he could teleport and raise the dead could be called a god, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing, to prove than any one of them "really" was or wasn't a god, no trait that universally separated the false gods from the true. If other gods thought you were a god, or if enough mortals worshiped you that the other gods had to bow to public pressure, that meant you were a god. 

Different beings honored with the title "god" handled it in different ways. Some, unsurprisingly, developed a god complex. Some picked up debilitating scrupulosity in an effort to be perfect enough to be worthy of their people's worship, and their people developed scrupulosity in an effort to live up to their god's perfect example, and so it went in a vicious cycle until somebody finally got therapy. Some printed their titles on the party invitation flyers they tossed out on busy streets. For the Axolotl's part, he thought it was a useful designation to help with networking, but mostly it was a pain that meant he was put up on a pedestal for doing his job.

The Axolotl was a god of justice. Not the god of justice, but one. He held dominion over an abstract concept; over millions and billions of years, his words and decisions slowly, inexorably altered the idea of "justice" on a multiversal scale. Mercy, retribution, punishment, rehabilitation, equity, equality, fairness, and righteousness were like multicolored clays he could twist, squish, sculpt, and blend in his wet little salamandrine grip, permanently altering what those ideas meant to the mortals they affected.

Which was to say: he was a lawyer.

He was also known as a god of rebirth. Which was to say: he specialized in afterlife law. Before going into law he'd only been a psychopomp, but after having to escort too many despairing souls to afterlives he felt were too severe for their sins, he'd decided he wanted a say in where he took his souls. For a while, he helped clients get their charges reduced so they were eligible for a higher-tier reincarnation, or got their purgatorial sentences reduced. Though for a long time he'd steered away from damnation cases. He didn't always win—and those ones were too depressing to lose.

And then he'd thought he should be doing more. It wasn't enough for him to help his clients get the best option available under the system to which they were subjected; he wanted to change the system. He'd started pursuing bigger cases.

Now, he had a reputation.

For the past few centuries, he'd been working on a damnation case. He was defending a supervillain who'd developed a weapon that could slice open the fabric of spacetime so severely it could rip clean into another dimension—a mortal who'd committed an interdimensional crime against reality. The villain had died in the jurisdiction of an afterlife that had legalized eternal damnation.

Case law had long established that, unless other arrangements had been made premortem, the dead were to be sent to—in order—the afterlife of their birth, their death, or their choice, provided that the afterlife in question accepted them; and that they would be judged and sentenced by that afterlife's laws.

But if this villain had been extradited to his home world, the heaviest sentence he could have faced was a thousand years purgatory with an option for early reincarnation for good behavior after a hundred years.

So the jurisdiction he'd died in had summoned up some bureaucratic red tape to dismiss his native afterlife's extradition request, and he'd been sentenced where he'd died. Crimes against reality were often handled differently from regular sins; and the gods of vengeance in the domain where he'd died would love to see the courts declare that the gods who'd brought down a criminal against reality could call dibs on punishing him, rather than hand him back to his motherland. They hoped they would get away with it just for lack of anyone protesting the move. After all, everyone involved would much prefer that a mortal wicked enough to damage spacetime and obliterate multiple populated planets receive eternal punishment.

Everyone involved except the Axolotl. 

Taking this case hadn't made him many friends. He didn't care; he had his principles. Let an interplanetary supervillain be dragged away to a foreign afterlife just so that he can be forced into damnation, and next it'll be a planetary dictator; let a dictator be dragged away, and next it'll be a murderer; and next it'll be a burglar; and next it'll be a jaywalker that a psychopomp has a personal grudge against. If the Axolotl could establish that even the most undeserving mortal imaginable still deserved the right to be sentenced in his home afterlife, then he could ensure that everyone less evil received the same right.

If he had anything to say about it, in two or three trillion years he'd see eternal punishment outlawed completely; but untilthen, he was not going to sit idly by and let this flagrant abuse of interdimensional law become the new meaning of justice! He would get that supervillain out of eternal damnation, personally escort him to his native afterlife, and see him reincarnated on his own home world; and mark his words, he would rain so much bureaucratic hell on the judges and psychopomps that had let this abuse of justice take place—he would wreak such vengeance upon the vengeance gods who had tried to claim his client—that no god would dare keep a soul from its rightful afterlife ever again, or he wasn't the Axolotl!

All of which was to say:

Yes, unfortunately. This triangle was like the omnicidal monsters he represented every day.

And so he was appointed hostage negotiator.

####

(Thanks for reading!! If the art lured you in and this is the first chapter you read, this is part 7 of a probably-9-part fic about the Axolotl in the immediate aftermath of the Euclidean Massacre. I'll be posting one chapter a week, Fridays 5pm CST, so stick around if you wanna watch the Axolotl almost fucking die.

It's ALSO chapter 61 Part Seven of an ongoing post-canon post-TBOB very-reluctantly-human Bill fic. So if you wanna read more of me writing Bill, check it out. If you're not sold on the idea of a human Bill fic, I've also got a one-shot about normal triangle Bill escaping the Theraprism if you wanna read that.

If this is NOT your first time here and you already knew all of the above: okay THIS is now probably the least cosmic-horrifying chapter of this arc. Which is a necessary interlude, because NEXT CHAPTER is the big climax woohoo!

Even if not much horrifying happens this chapter, I like the worldbuilding in it. The section on what being a god of justice means to the Axolotl was one of the first things I wrote for this arc.)

[weaselle]

You came face to face with a wolf in the woods? What’s the story in that

ok ok so i'm driving through the woods down from Oregon to visit the fam in California, right? And right as i'm about to cross the border from OR to CA i'm like, oh shit, pops is the only one i don't have a christmas present for.

So i see this big weird log-cabin-ass liquor store and i'm all, he loves a unique bottle of wine, gotta be something in there he can't get back home so i pull in.

It's a building made of logs all by itself on the edge of the woods in the hills along the N. border of California. While i'm in there i ask to use the bathroom and they tell me sure, it's a small separate building behind the store

just walk down the foot path into the woods a few yards until you get to the fork and take the right side path to the little bathroom hut. Don't take the left side path unless you want to disappear all the way into the woods. Cool.

So i walk into the woods on the little trail, and i get to the fork in the path, and i can see the little bathroom hut off to the right. Before i take the right, as i'm standing there, i look down the left side path that trails off into the woods.

And right then this full grown wolf steps out onto the trail, about 15 feet from me.

it was in fact, this exact wolf. Altho he is older in this picture than when i met him. When he stepped out to come face to face with me that day, he was quite a bit thinner.

Now at 15 feet, i instantly knew he was a wolf. Not a coyote, certainly not a dog, when you're close and you look in their face it's just different in the snout and eyes.

So i freeze, and i'm looking at him but i'm not making any sustained eye-contact and i'm feeling that weird calm feeling i get when shit is too serious to panic. And i'm trying to look bored because that's the safest middle ground between acting like prey and acting like a threat and i'm like, shit. Shit. Okay. This is a wolf. This is a whole ass wild wolf in the woods, only about 3 body lengths from me. What is about to happen here. One of us is going to do something soon and it better not be the wrong thing.

Wolf is just standing there the same as me. Wouldn't surprise me if it was having basically the exact same thoughts

i wasn't working professionally with dogs yet, but even then i knew canines real well, and as i'm standing there getting a real good look i realize, fuck, this wolf is like, just under 2 years old.

This is very bad news for me.

See, an experienced adult wolf knows things. For instance, an experienced adult wolf knows exactly what it prefers to hunt (not humans) and has probably gotten good at hunting those things (and is therefor not desperate for food) and an older experienced wolf knows that it really can't afford to get injured in a fight if it can avoid one, and probably has figured out that humans are to be left alone.

But a wolf between a year and a half and two years? Is just becoming an adult. This is a wolf that meets an animal the same size as it and has questions.

Questions like "Is this a creature i want to eat?" or "maybe this is a creature that wants to eat me?" and the problem with both of those questions is the answer can easily wind up being "i should probably try to kill it"

Because a mature wolf will assess a threat for the safest way to deal with it, but, like a twenty year old person, a young inexperienced wolf is more prone to brash actions, such as preemptively attacking something it perceives as a threat.

I'm checking his body language and it is reading as uncertain, patient, fairly relaxed but ready for explosive action. Not great, but could be a lot worse.

All this is going through my calm calm head. Like of course i am frightened, but in emergencies my heart like, actually seems to slow a bit? and i get this weird calm clear feeling.

Anyway i'm standing there looking at this wolf, and this wolf is looking at me, and i start to realize... i'm the mature adult in this situation. I have to be the one to decide how this encounter goes.

It was at this point i recalled something i read in a book about cats.

In this book, the author goes to visit her father who is studying lions in Africa. He's staying in a village and when she gets there she is told she might stumble across a lion in the brush if she goes walking around outside the village for any reason (which is why her father is there) and that if she DOES come across a lion, for generations the locals have had a little social exchange worked out with the lions, so she should speak loudly but politely to the lion, and then walk purposefully away at an oblique angle to the lion.

So of course she's on a walk one day and a lion suddenly stands up not far from her. She freezes, unable to do the thing she had been told to do. After waiting and waiting, finally the lion makes a series of loud grunts, and then walks off at an oblique angle, as if to show her how it was done.

I remembered how much sense that made to me when i read it. An oblique angle is like, not straight ahead of you and not straight to the side of you, but sort of halfway between, like one of the branches on a "Y". An oblique angle is more toward than away, so it cannot be mistaken for any kind of running away, but it isn't directly toward the animal enough to be threatening. it is the physical communication equivalent of "You're in my way, but i'll be polite and go around you".

At an oblique angle to my right was the bathroom. So trying to seem like i didn't care about the wolf at all while simultaneously keeping very close track of its reactions, I walked kind of toward him, but way off to one side.

He relaxed more as i did so, watching me go. Then i was inside the little bathroom with the door shut and all my calm went away.

I didn't have my phone on me, and i was in a tiny room in the woods, and all i could think was, jesus christ that was a wolf. A fucking wolf. I just like, walked right by a wolf. A wolf, dude. What if I open the door and the wolf is RIGHT there on the other side? Can i get the door shut fast enough or will he be able to force its way into this cramped space with me? Have i just trapped myself in the woods with this wolf?

Since i was in there anyway, i peed and washed my hands... and then i cracked the door open with my heart in my throat. But that wolf was long gone -- probably melted back into the woods the instant my eyes were all the way off it.

I went back into the liquor store and told the lady in there that there was a wolf nearby, and she said they'd caught a glimpse of it a couple times, and they thought it was a dog jumped out of somebody's truck? I'm not sure she believed me.

Couldn't really blame her. As far as i was aware, there hadn't been any wild wolves in California in close to a hundred years.

So when i got where i was going and found some time to myself around a computer a couple days later, i looked it up.

Sure enough it turns out this wolf on the northern border of California was Wolf OR-7, who, wearing a tracking collar, at one and a half years old, became the first confirmed wild wolf to be in California since 1924, crossing the Oregon border within two days of my sighting him in that area. I found a thread online of people who had managed to get photos of him crossing their property, and while i'm not an expert at identifying wolves, it seemed to be the same wolf. And the right age. And confirmed to be on the border of California the same time I was. And was the only wolf in a hundred years to be there.

I didn't notice a tracking collar on him, but he's also wearing it in the above pic i included, so you can seen how i might have missed it.

So, I met wolf OR-7 face to face! And it was very memorable.

He did very well for himself. Went back up to Oregon and got himself a mate, and founded the Rogue Wolf Pack, the first pack in west Oregon in forever. Most wild wolves are lucky to see six years, but OR-7 (sometimes called Journey) lived to be 11. Some of his pups grew up and started their own packs.

Somebody wrote a book about him, and there's some kind of movie or TV documentary about him i haven't seen, it's called OR-7's Journey or something like that.

Here's a map of his travels

These are his grandchildren, sired by one of his sons

and here is some documentation of wolves in Oregon and California that includes, for example, that OR-7's daughter, OR-54, traveled over 8,000 miles around California and even into Nevada. This is her:

Anyway, that's the story of the time i bumped into a wild wolf in the woods!

[altverse-invertverse]

Meeting + Kitty Bath right after

(I can’t draw backgrounds so I “borrowed” these from pinterest and then put a filter over the first two, to make them to make them look like drawings)

AU/Headcanon yapping for this lol ⬇️

Kallamar and Shamura met in their teenage years, living with eachother as close besties who found some random ass crowns along the way. They both shared a cabin on the border of early-day Anura and Darkwoods (there was no distinction between the areas, both areas were relatively the same). They shared a bed because it was comfortable enough for them, and lived an average life.

Now during his 30’s, Kallamar really wanted to take care of a child, even though he wasn’t as capable to carry one himself(intersex, infertile, AND he was single lmao). Shamura didn’t care for children as much, but wanted to see their best friend happy, just didn’t know how.

One day the two were sitting around and playing knucklebones with eachother, when they heard a knock on the door. Shamura got up to answer the door, looking around before glancing down, seeing a young black cat staring back up at them. Shamura was in a state of confusion at first, asking the kit where he came from, only getting a shrug as a response.

It was only a few seconds, before it clicked to Shamura that this child had been abandoned. With no second thoughts, they knew exactly what to do next, as they gently took the child by the hand to offer them a new home. Walking back into the living room, Kallamar had put away the board and dice, asking Shamura who was at the front door. Shamura replied with a simple “Just look for yourself”, as Kallamar gave them a look of confusion, before spotting the child stepping out from behind Shamura, while holding their hand.

Shamura explained to Kallamar the child’s situation, they brought up the idea of taking in the child, as if he were their younger sibling and such. Kallamar became ecstatic, agreeing to the idea almost immediately while going over to hug Shamura tightly, then greeting the little boy.

However, first things first, the kid smelled like trash(despite looking clean), which called for an “emergency” bath. I won’t go into big detail about the rest of that day, but let’s just say that Kalla and the child, nownamed Narinder, had alot fun getting to know each other.

This is literally “revised” lore I made up in my head for two weeks, finally had motivation to draw a bit of it, I just really like seeing interpretations of Narinder and Kallamar. So I thought instead of the usual sibling battles, they started off with a loving caretaker their adopted child type relationship, only becoming more sibling tied once growing up lol

[ross-hollander]

Hangar feng shui...

...is believed in almost universally. The intersection of soldiers and technology experts breeds a deep atmosphere of superstition. Any luck that can be accrued by hook or crook must be, to offset the unlimited ways that things can go wrong. For instance:

Fire runs on the sun's path, lightning runs on the magnetic poles. On Terra, for instance, that is respectively east-west and north-south. You want neither of these energies trapped in the hangar, so it's best to have either no doors that face either direction- so the hangar has to sit at an angle -or to have two doors facing each other to ensure passage through.

Good-condition 'mechs serve as talismans of abundance or prosperity. You want them in the maintenance niches closest the door. On the other hand, the scrap bin or write-off pile is a fortune sink, and should therefore be neutralized by placing it off-center, preferably in a corner.

Metallic energy strengthens 'mechs and eases the whole of the repair process. Wood saps metal, though, so avoid any wood in the hangar: chairs, crates, anything. The most keen adherents will avoid using paper (it is, after all, an incarnation of wood) in favor of digital tablets for note-taking.

Power tools should be stored disassembled, at risk of losing their will from being ready for use but not at work. They are to be, so to speak, put off-duty when their service for the day is done, and then put back together for use the next.

From the main door, if you're starting with an empty hangar, 'mechs should fill in spots starting from the left side, and only then taking niches on the right. (You solidify the usually weak side first, before you start putting any into port on the right, to achieve a balanced state.)

Fire stations (the emergency hubs with respirators, oxy tanks, hoses and extinguishers) should be spaced along the length of the hangar, right down the center. Vitally, they should be equidistant between the maintenance niches on each side. Fire, after all, is weakening to metal, and since the stations are designed to defeat fire, leaving one 'mech further than another would result in a lopsided defense.

A 'mech must never be bordered on both sides by ones of equal energy, either stellar or nebular. Thus, for instance, a brawler can be bordered on one side by a skirmisher, but should have an ambusher or juggernaut on the other. Failure to regulate this will result in obstructed energy flow, and consequently stubborn or malfuctional 'mechs.

When traversing the hangar, never move straight across from one niche to another, or your path may form an energy barrier. What you want to do is move in a diagonal, like starting from the corner of one slot that's closer to the door, and then ending at the corner of the one across from it that is farther away.

[mieanme]

I had a Hualian brainrot that I wanna turn into a comic in the near future, but I'm hella slow, so bear with me, HOWEVER, here's the idea:

Merman x Siren au

Those who know me - you probably saw that coming.

BUT hear me out!

Xie Lian is a merman (yeah, no shot, no-one expected that), he lives in a huge pod with hierarchy and social roles as hunters, gathers, nursery guardians, etc. He's still an outcast though - he's the only one among countless merpeople in their society that has snow-white scales. He also wasn't born in their pod, he was rescued from an orca attack by two merkids aspiring to become hunters (Feng Xin & Mu Qing) at a very young age, so no-one knew where he really came from.

The Emperor of the pod let him stay though, so how could anyone argue, right?

Years pass, Xie Lian tries to fit in. It's been difficult, but he's not the one to give up, always kind and gentle to fellow mers and creatures of the ocean. He's not allowed near merkids, even if he would love to be a nursery guardian, because others believe he brings misfortune; he didn't manage to become a hunter, because his unusual white tail is visible from ten miles away, not a fit to not alarm the prey at all; no-one wanted to eat or use anything he gathered, because no-one trusted him, so eventually he settled on collecting and discarding trash from the various areas of the pod's territory. This way somehow he's able to contribute to the pod's life and secure his meals.

He lives like that for a good couple of years, until one day at an emergency gathering of the pod, it is announced three mers have caught a strange disease - one that could be cured only by a very specific type of algae. If not provided the medicine, the mers would not only die, but also spread the illness to others.

What's the problem, let's go and grab that algae, right?

The point is, the algae grows only in almost complete darkness, within the depths of oceanic trenches. And the nearest trench falls into the territory of a Siren.

And not just a siren. This siren everyone knows and loves to call all kinds of nicknames, the most popular being: cruel disgusting monster.

Mers always feared sirens, because, on the contrary to the merpeople, they resemble reptiles more than fish or humans. They usually live on their own, gather only for the mating season and even then they often pick fights with each other. Their territories are sometimes equal or almost as big as those of merpeople; how does one even manage to patrol such a huge area?

However, the most terrifying thing about sirens is that they don't hesitate to feed on even their own kin - not to mention humans or mers. Feral beasts, as most merpeople would address them.

This particular siren was even worse. No-one even knows what the monster looks like, because whoever crossed paths with it, hasn't come back alive. It's been expanding its territory for years, slowly swollowing the remaining unclaimed area between its own teritory and that belonging to the pod. Who knew what would happen if they would have to fight to defend their borders? Would they even stand a chance against that beast?

Venturing into its territory was not an option.

But there's no other trench anyone knows of. So, was it a death sentence for the pod?

Not on Xie Lian's watch.

***

Wooohooo, that's it for now, if you wanna know more or you think it's a good idea, lemme know!!

PART II

[vienssunshine]

Distracted Driving

pairing: Yuki Tsukumo x fem!reader nsfw: dom!Yuki wc: 1.9k author's note: I skimmed a motorcycle tutorial for this description: Yuki convinces you to ride her bike and rewards you for your bravery

“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” Yuki says, holding out her spare helmet.

You’re floored she would even suggest the idea. “I’ve only ridden on your motorcycle, what makes you think I can drive it?”

“You’ll be a natural,” she urges, pushing the helmet into your arms, “and this is the perfect place to try it out.” She gestures to the abandoned dirt lot you’re standing in; it doesn’t have much to crash into. The only other thing out here is the road lined with glowing streetlights heading back to a city you passed around fifty miles back, a distance like that meaning an ambulance would take forever to arrive if you had an accident. You can’t even get started about wait times in emergency rooms.

“You said we were coming out here to go stargazing, not to see how fast I can kill us both by crashing your bike.”

Yuki laughs and steps closer. “It’s cute when you get all worked up over nothing.” She presses a kiss to your flushed cheek. “What if I give you a reward for your bravery?”

“It’s not bravery, it’s stupidity,” you respond. This is a bad idea, no doubt about it. You have trouble driving a car, which has four wheels, a motorcycle only has two. It’s like making the jump between rollerskating and rollerblading, but with the potential of much more severe consequences. Your eyes flick back up to Yuki—she’s dressed in her stupid, dangerous, sexy motorcycle jacket and goggles—and see her watching you with a tilted head and smirk. She’s been your girlfriend long enough to know that curiosity is tugging at you and isn’t surprised when you look away and ask, “But…what is the reward?”

Yuki turns, walking back to her propped-up bike. “Only one way to find out.”

She’s such a tease. What’s more frustrating is how it works so well on you.

You huff, strapping the helmet on. “All right.” It can’t be that bad, can it?

It is indeed bad when you’re on the thing, the angry engine rumbling beneath you and the exhaust spitting out fumes of gray smoke. The glare of the headlights just barely scares off the darkness of the night so you can see the dirt a few feet in front of you. If Yuki’s arms weren’t wrapped around your waist, you would’ve been off the motorcycle in a second.

Your fingers tighten around the handlebars. “This is a terrible idea.”

“You’re gonna do great,” Yuki purrs in your ear, sending a tingle down your spine. Or is this death machine activating your fight-or-flight response? Either way, you readjust yourself in the seat.

“Okay, whatever, how do I even do this?”

One of her arms loosens from your waist and she lays her hand on top of yours on the right handlebar. Her riding gloves leave her fingers uncovered, so you’re able to feel her skin as well as the rough leather coating her palm. “This is the throttle, and you twist it toward you to move forward.” With Yuki leaning forward to demonstrate the mechanics of the handlebars, her chest is pressed against your back. Her motorcycle jacket would muffle the sensation if it wasn’t unzipped like it is now, so you can feel the plushness of her breasts on your shoulder blades as she’s describing another lever on the bike. “…is the brake. Got it, angel?”

“Um, yeah…yeah I got it.” Doesn’t seem that hard, just a few twists and levers. Maybe it is possible you’ll survive this ordeal.

“Okay, I’ll just–” You twist the right handlebar toward you and the bike kicks up and starts rolling forward.

Yuki laughs, “Attagirl! Look at you go!”

You laugh a little too, not because you’re amused, but because you’re in disbelief that you’re moving the thing and haven’t blown up yet.

Still cautious, you turn the throttle slightly further, bringing the speed of the motorcycle up past the pace of a casual walk. And when you steer the bike into a gentle turn at the border of the dirt patch, you find it easier to control than you expected. Soon you’re successfully circling the lot while Yuki cheers you on. As impossible as it first seemed, you’re actually doing it, you’re driving her motorcycle.

“That’s my girl,” Yuki says. You want to turn and show her the smile her encouragement brings to your face, but you’re not comfortable driving without looking straight ahead yet.

“This is kinda fun,” you say, still leaving room to change your opinion in case of the terrible crash that your nerves are convinced will happen.

“You’re so good at it,” Yuki responds, giving your waist a small squeeze with her arms.

These kind of situations are why you like dating Yuki so much, she knows how to pull you out of your comfort zone, help you grow and try new things. Despite your anxiety, every experience she’s helped you through, though usually miserable whilst occurring, has been rewarding after pushing through it. It’s how you feel now, you’re proud of yourself for doing something that scared you.

You’re about to express your gratitude when her hands unclasp themselves from around your waist and travel up your torso. Your brows furrow, but you’re able to focus on the upcoming turn until her fingers splay out on your breasts, squeezing and kneading them.

You look down to the gloved hands on your chest. “Yuki, what…what are you doing?” The motorcycle lurches to the side and you snap your eyes back up to the dirt ahead of you, scrambling to re-center the bike until it steadies. The close call leaves your heart pounding and breath short, but Yuki is unaffected.

“It’s your reward, silly.” Her fingers pinch your nipple through your shirt and you gasp. “For being so brave.”

“What?” you whisper. You can’t make sense of this. Heat burns through your body and you’re not sure if it’s from her touch or your panic. This has to stop. Where did she say the brake is? You can’t remember.

“If you keep doing this”—she nuzzles her chin onto your shoulder and nibbles at your ear—“we are going to crash. This is literally distracted driving.” You steer through another turn, having a much harder time with it than your first attempt. With her touching you like this, if you make the smallest mistake, like hitting a rock or going into a turn too fast, you’ll both get sent flying.

“Don’t worry about it,” Yuki coos, “I’ll make sure nothing happens. Just enjoy the ride, m’kay?”

“This–this is crazy, you know that?” A sharp exhale leaves your lips when Yuki moves from your ear to your neck, opening her warm mouth to lick and suck on your pulse. You shift in the seat of the motorcycle, trying to keep your attention on the land ahead while Yuki’s every movement is pulling it away.

“Fuck, don’t–” Her hands are moving downward, unbuttoning your pants and traveling underneath your underwear. Surely you’ll crash if she touches you there.

“You’re doing great, angel. Just keep those pretty eyes on the road.” You whine her name and she gently sinks her teeth into your neck, her arm slinking around your waist as other her hand descends to your heat. “Thought you’d be too nervous to be this wet,” Yuki breathes against your skin, hungry. The bike wobbles.

She slides her fingers through your folds and your vision blurs, the glow of the headlights melting into the dark of the night until you blink and refocus your eyes.

“Yuki–shit–I’m–”

You’re driving. You need to tell her to stop, but you can’t get the words out, you don’t know if you want to. Even if you think this is bad, idiotic, truly a one-way ticket to the hospital, the excitement flooding your core, swirling and churning deep inside you, is impossible to reason with. Any tension or tightness in your abdomen is softened with the swipes of her elegant fingers. You’re helpless when she’s making you feel this good.

It’s hard to keep your attention on the road, but you’re still trying, so you don’t notice how your hips angle themselves forward so she’s able to start circling your clit. You also don’t notice how your tightening grip on the handlebars—your body unable to bear the pleasure spreading out within you—causes the motorcycle to pick up speed, now traveling at the pace someone could pedal a bicycle at. The wind whisks your moan away into the night and the muscle memory built in the first few minutes of riding takes over to help you steer.

“I want…more,” you say, grinding your hips against her hand.

“Gotta focus on driving, angel,” she responds.

“I–fuck–I know, it just–feels so–”

“Uh huh?” Yuki skims her teeth over the heated skin of your neck.

“It feels so…good…when you touch me,” you say, and she kisses you. You try to keep your eyes from fluttering closed as she continues to swirl her fingers around you, tending to the pressure pushing up against your insides. It’s interesting how you’re being built up to an orgasm so much faster than normal. Splitting your attention between an activity like driving while pleasure is sailing through you wipes out any of those thoughts you have that take you out of the moment—how your body looks, whether Yuki likes what you’re doing, if you’re being sexy enough. In this moment, you’re out of your head, able to feel her touch without insecurity marring the sensation. Maybe Yuki knew this would happen. She knows you well.

You moan her name, doubling over. You shoot your head back up immediately, keeping your eyes on the road even though your legs are attempting to press together, trying to shut out the pleasure overwhelming your body, though the tangled metal of Yuki’s motorcycle keeps them apart and you susceptible. The bike rocks again.

“Yuki–I can’t–I can’t take anymore,” you plead, “I can’t focus.”

“I’ve got you,” she says, her hand stroking your waist. Her skilled fingers pick up to the pace she knows you like when you’re close.

“Fuck,” you gasp.

“It’s okay,” Yuki tells you, “Just let go.”

So you do. The rope holding you together snaps as strings of pleasure whip through your poor body. Any consequences of releasing yourself, thoughts of crashing, dying, long ambulance wait, it’s all washed away; you even let go of the handlebars. The motorcycle bucks for a second, but Yuki wrangles it with her free hand, holding onto the handlebar as you cum all over the hand working at your clit.

You grab onto her forearm, clamping down on it as pleasure rolls over you, making it hard to realize how reckless letting go of the handlebars of the motorcycle you were driving is. You don’t really care though, with this feeling washing through your body, you don’t care about the bike, your stupidity, or anything that doesn’t relate to the motorcyclist behind you who’s slowing her strokes and cooing in your ear as the last muscle spasms of your orgasm calm.

Yuki takes her hand from your pants and is unfazed by the wetness coating it when she reaches it forward and to the lever sitting underneath the right handlebar. She pulls on it and the bike slows to a stop. So that’s where the brake is. The realization makes you laugh a weak, fucked-out laugh.

She kicks out the bike stand and you unfurl from your hunched form and sit back so you’re leaning against her chest.

“That was insane,” you heave out, “and stupid and dangerous, and…”

“…and?” There’s a grin in her voice.

A hazy warmth settles over you. You pull her arms into your lap, running your fingers over her gloves palms.

“Thanks, I guess,” you say.

She knows you mean more than just for the orgasm, she knows you appreciate how she pushes you from your comfort zone and helps you try new things. Even if those new things are reckless and crazy.

Yuki leans to your side and presses a kiss to your cheek. “You’re welcome.”

[streets-in-paradise]

Secret Presents

Relationships: (platonic) Faramir x Sister!Reader, (platonic) Boromir x Sister!Reader.

Genre: family fic, sibling bonds, fluff, birthday fic.

Warnings: Denthor's terrible parenting, use of she/her pronoums. I am not sure if birthdays are culturally accurate for gondorians, but since in lotr we saw at least one hobbit birthday let's pretend they also could have birthday customs for the sake of this.

Summary: Boromir and Faramir surprise their sister on the morning of her birthday filling her with affection while furtively bringing her different sorts of gifts their father wouldn't approve.

Note: (Late) birthday gift for my bestie @beautifultypewriter, also inspired in her gondor girl concept. I hope the fluff will be good enough to compensate the delay <3

She didn't expected anyone to remember, there were allways more important things going on in such convoluted times.

Completely absent from her father's thoughts, only her brothers could possibly think about it. During the occassions in which Denethor do cared to celebrate her, he was always actually celebrating himself. Birthday parties that were generic social events for the nobiity, occassions for him to show off his might in decline and pretend for the public that he could resemble a father.

If he could possibly be thinking on doing something, she would rather hide far away from it for as long as possible. The only good reason the Steward of Gondor could have to remember that he had a daughter were the men arround him making the recall. He would only use it as an excuse to push yet even more insufferable nobles in her direction.

Feeling the call of the servant announcing her waking time that morning made her groan of frustration, wanting it to be over before it ever began. She emerged from the covers only caring to make sure to be in a visible state before opening the door, trying hard to remember not to share her mood with the servantfolk through terrible manners.

What she found instead were her two brothers hidding their presence on the usual call, ready to join forces as soon as they will find her. Their happy faces said it all, and she almost regretted her grumpyness.

" What are you doing here? "

To a gestural sign of Faramir, Boromir went ahead to lift her up from the ground. Almost like a father would do for his child, only with tons of chuckling in between.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR SISTER!!"

In a matter of instants she was smiling again while being carried back inside her bedroom.

" Are you insane? What is this? "

Faramir calmed his own laughter to explain.

" Your birthday surprise! I bet you thought we would forget. "

She was perfectly aware of how strongly they loved her, but war kept them always bussy and she was perfectly ready to forgive them if that was the case.

" Orcs are constantly pushing the limits of our borders, of course you could forget! "

" But we would never. " Boromir cheerfully insisted, releasing her on her bed. " Have we ever failed you? "

She giggled and nodded negatively.

" ... Then why did you seem so upset looking at us from you doorframe ? " Faramir inquired. " It think somone really needs to get their spirits lifted. "

With a mischievous look he approached for a strong hug ending only when he sneaked one hand to her already known ticklish point. Her loud laughing comforted them all, so Boromir encouraged Faramir to keep going untill she started fighting back and the situation could escalate into an actual tickle fight unleashed right in front of the servants.

She was red from laughing and playfully smacked them in return, when her eldest brother gave premission for the maidservant to enter. She was carrying a curiously long chest with the help of one lad and presented it to the lady by command before retiring.

" See, if we would have waited untill you would come down for breakfast, we wouldn't be able to bring your presents. " Faramir continued. " These are of the kind our father will not wish to see. "

A sparkle of excitement lighted her eyes.

" Certainly not fitting for a lady, by his expressed opinion. " Boromir added. " He would be very dissapointed of me if he would find out I'm letting Faramir present you with this."

" Not as much as when he will see what you got her. " He commented in response. " ... And yours can't be hidden easily, as one can do with mine. "

Curiosity was growing with each of their teasing recalls and she rushed to open the mysterious casket used to hide such secret present from the world untill reaching her.

It revealed a bow, perfectly new and with its matching quiver following the style of the one that was her brother's favorite.

" Nurturing your passions is important to me, and being honest i'm slightly jealous you have gained more practice with Boromir's weapon of choice. "

He was joking and she could perfectly tell. Her brothers never had to compete for her love the way their father intended them to.

Here eyes were roaming the weapon with increasing surprise, then inmediately directed to look at her brother with the happiest adoration.

" It's perfect!! Just, ... perfect!! Beloved brother, I would love to practice with you. " She thanked, hugging him from up front and practically jumping from the joy. " I can't wait to try it!! "

" We will tell father is an harp." Faramir joked, sharing her excitement. " I doubt he would ever ask you to play music for him, so he will never discover it."

You chuckled together seeing that Boromir was allowing you the mean spirited commentary.

" My gift will also work as a distractive strategy: he will never get a moment to wonder about anything else. "

She questioned Faramir with her glance, but he provided no clues.

" Boromir ... what have you exactly done?? "

Their eldest brother began to chuckle, assuming the mysterious guilt for some possibly memorable mischief.

" Come down with us and you will find out. "

She smiled and quickly followed the instruction, begging them to leave her proper space to at least dress decently before being publicly perceived for the first time in the day. Neither of her brothers wanted to miss what was about to come, so they awaited outside only to find themselves going after her later because excitement made her run her way down.

Hardly catching his breath, Boromir indicated her to go outside. Her cluelessness made her even more desperate for finding the surprise, but she inmediately stumbled with it once the final instruction was correctly followed.

A magnificent horse, one that she never recalled to have seen before.

" It was almost impossible to import, but your dear brother planned things with time and sent clever merchants on the quest for it. " Boromir recalled, pridefully. " They wouldn't have sold this easily for a mighty lord of the city, but couldn't refuse when told it would dissapoint a young lady. "

She looked at him in disbelief, unsure of the guess she was about to make.

" No,no, no ... There is no way. You couldn't ... "

" Send men to Rohan despite the uncertain danger it implies just to get you a horse? " Faramir followed, finishing her sentence in a wondering tone. " Don't worry, your present also worked as harmless excuse to obtain trustable testimonies about the state of our old allies. Something we have been wanting to find out for a long time, but father kept refusing to investigate. "

The clarification amused her more than the explanation itself.

" You are unbelievable!! How are we going to hide this? "

Boromir wasn't troubled by her very logical reasoning.

" We won't, and I will assume all guilt. Wait to see how fast he will find a reason to excuse me. "

He made her laugh through that lighthearted mock of his unwanted privilege, aspect he manipulated in contructive ways when it could bring a side benefict to his siblings.

Looking at her smiling brothers awaiting her final verdict made her feel the luckiest girl in Middle Earth.

" I have the best brothers in the world. "

[babydollmarauders]

for the baby el au, what if one day (when el is much older like 4-5 years old) el breaks her foot or some bone and is crying and jack and mama and literally everyone else get really really worried

it came to no surprise to me that Jack had El on the ice as soon as she was 3 years old. Jack and his brothers had officially deemed her old enough that summer and took her to the indoor ice rink in Michigan at least twice a week. by the end of the summer, my daughter was skating circles around me.

and the following summer, at 4 years old, she was learning the family business; how to play hockey.

we’ve been to the indoor ice rink enough times this summer that i’ve learned the best thing to do is sit on the sidelines while my husband and his brothers do the teaching. so twice a week, at the least, i come to the rink equipped with a book, my camera, and snacks.

“alright, c’mon El-Bell! grandma is expecting us home for dinner soon!” Jack’s words echo throughout the practice rink, but it’s not a surprise when two seconds later the word “no!” is replacing his own.

El is most definitely a Hughes. ever since last summer, she’s lived and breathed being on the ice. she never wants to leave, never wants to stop skating. she’s just like her father.

“El, you gotta listen to your dad. if he tells you it’s time to go, then we gotta go.” Luke tries to help, but his attempt makes no difference to his niece.

“no!” her high pitched voice bounces throughout the mostly empty rink, everyone else having gone back to their homes already. i watch from my spot off the ice as my daughter starts to skate away from her uncle as fast as she could.

“El, baby! slow down! i don’t want you to get h-” i trail off as she trips over air, her body twisting as she lands on the ice.

her scream pierces my ears, making me jump to my feet. Jack, Quinn, and Luke all rush over to her as i run to the ice, stepping on without skates and shuffling as fast as i could over to her.

“shit, i think her arm is broken.” Quinn confirms my worst fear as i finally reach them.

“daddy! it hurts! make it stop!” tears roll down her cheeks, her face red from her sobs. my own tears well in my eyes at the sight of my baby in pain.

“i know, princess. i’m sorry. i know.” Jack appears calm, but his fidgety demeanor and the pain in his eyes lets me know that this is affecting him just as much as it is me.

“okay, daddy’s gonna carry you to the car and we’re gonna go to the doctors, okay?” i run my hand over her hair as i speak. El nods through her sobs as Jack slides his arms underneath her and picks her up, careful of her injured arm.

i let out shaky breaths, my heart pounding on the way to the emergency room.

“what if they don’t think it’s an accident?” i whisper to Jack. Quinn drives the car with Luke in the passengers seat as Jack and i sit in the back with El between us.

“what?” Jack asks, his head snapping over to look at me in my frenzied state.

“what if they don’t believe us and they call child protective services or something? what if she gets taken away from us? we didn’t do anything wrong!” my breathing picks up, bordering hyperventilation as my mind races with ways that this could go wrong.

“baby, between us three boys, we’ve probably broken hundreds of bones, and that never once happened with us. i promise you, it’s a first time ER trip, we were right there watching her, they’re not gonna think anything other than what it was… an accident.”

Jack’s hand slips into my shaky one, his thumb rubbing the back of my hand in soothing circles.

“mommy.” at the sound of her voice, i look down at El. “do you think i’ll get a cast like Lilah?”

i let out a weak chuckle at her bravery through this, and at the mention of her friend from the playground, who had a hot pink cast on her right arm.

“you might, baby.” i confess with a sigh.

“that’s so cool! uncle moosey can write his name on it! i like his name.”

[tsvwords]

They tell me I’m in shock. No. 

First they tell me I’ve caused an international incident. Then they tell me I’m in shock.

This comes after:

some eight months of negotiating,

a temporary Peninsulan holding cell which begins to feel increasingly permanent over time,

a lawyer from my own country who holds his finger to his lips as if to indicate that our private interview room is not private,

a considerable amount of furious shouting,

assertions from Peninsulan policemen, policewomen and policepeople that I will never see my homeland again, and I should just come clean about my plot to destroy the town of Bellwethers with two servants of an illicit faith (and by the way, if it transpired that the Conclave of the Consolidated Linger Straits had funded or in any way enabled said plot, that would be useful information that would make things go a lot easier for me),

a final, frenzied agreement between nations,

a car to the border,

a hurried exchange,

and another holding cell on the CLS side of the border, with different flags hung over the supervising sergeant��s desk.

I’m interviewed by two detectives from the Nesh municipal force, as well as someone who introduces herself as a political attache and leans sourly against the corner of the cell when everyone else is talking.

You can see them frowning as they scribble on their notepads, trying to construct some, any kind of coherent narrative out of what I’m telling them.

Over time, they seem to acknowledge that I am probably not a covert member of the Parish of Tide and Flesh, but they continue to probe at me all the same, looking for other angles: what am I holding back from them? There has to be more to it than this, surely? Some final secret, some last revelation that makes sense of all this?

Eventually, they give up on me, and this is when the doctors come to run their tests, see if I’ve been brutalised or tortured in any way that could make for effective political capital.

And I begin to understand that there’s another, contradictory narrative emerging: that I’m in shock, a victim of horrific circumstance, and in some undefinable, whispered sense...a hero.

After all, nobody has forgotten the atrocities committed by the Peninsula in the last war. The disasters that transpire, year after year, when their gods go astray. The polluted islands, even now, that stand between our coastlines, a monument to their recklessness and callous disregard for our citizens.

It seems pretty clear to all concerned that Bellwethers was caused by one of their own experiments, and now they’re casting about for blame, trying to stir up trouble against us.

One of the doctors takes great care in smiling at me and squeezing my hand as he leaves. 

“I’m just glad we got you out of there in one piece,” he says.

And soon after that, the forms are signed, the doors open, and I stumble back out…home.

— Chapter 18: If My Hands Could Shape The Flow.

[heejayy]

Shuri U. || Liar

Warning • swearing, suggestive

Genre • lil angst, fluff

Pairing • Shuri x black Fem! Reader

Word Count: 1.4K

A/n: no this isn’t a toxic Shuri fic I’m not good at writing those so don’t get ur hopes up 😭 also I think i broke my tumblr 🫤

You lay on your bed completely heartbroken. Shuri promised you months ago she’d clear her schedule for a full weekend to come visit you on your birthday, but where is she no where to be seen.

[2 hours ago]

“Sooo” you giggled giddily “you still coming for my birthday?” You smile wider knowing the answer.

“Uh about that usana…I can’t make it, there was an emergency outside of the borders with traffickers and they need me.” Well that wasn’t the answer you were hoping to hear.

“Oh- well are they alright?” You asked sadly but still concerned for their wellbeing.

“They will be. We’ve tracked down the hostages and we will rescue them tonight”

“Well I know you’ll get them home safely, but still I want you to stay safe-“

“Ok sthandwa i have to go love you.”

She’s gsaving lives doing something important and I’m moping over her, was all you could think as you drifted to sleep.

She’s gsaving lives doing something important and I’m moping over her, was all you could think as you drifted to sleep.

She’s gsaving lives doing something important and I’m moping over her, was all you could think as you drifted to sleep.

You woke up exhausted feeling like absolute shit, your eyes were red and swollen and your head ached from crying yourself to sleep but hey it’s not a birthday if you don’t cry at least once.

You checked your phone noticing you slept in late- really late. Your eyes flickered to the date reminding you it was your birthday, the big two-one. You wish you were more excited but you weren’t. You were going to cut class and work to hang out with Shuri but oh wait she wasn’t here.

You lazily put together a decent outfit for the day and finished your morning routine even though it was evening time.

As your mind was preoccupied with other things you walked right out of your dorm room down the hall completely missing Riri.

“Damn I was gonna tell you happy birthday but you act like you didn’t even see me” startled you shook your head turning around.

“Ah shit my bad my mind was elsewhere” she frowned, you guessed she knew.

“Yeah she told me she wasn’t gonna make it I’m sorry boo” you waved her off sighing.

“It’s ‘ight” she nodded taking a second to observe your outfit.

“The fuck are you wearing? It’s your birthday not a damn funeral” she said wearing a disgusted look as she stared at you. You frowned looking down at your outfit, you had on black flared leggings, a black long sleeve shirt with red and black vans.

“What I’m just going to class?!” You whined slightly offended. I might as well try to make it to my last class you thought.

“What the hell?! CLASS?! Y/n we’re going out…like now so go change” she spun you around by your shoulders pushing you to your dorm room.

“But what’s the point of going out? My plans are ruined” you sulked stomping down trying to stop her.

“Just because your lover girl isn’t here” she spoke between grunts trying to get you to budge “doesn’t mean you’re having a shitty birthday. No ma’am not on my watch.”

“Ooh yup I like this one- oh yes this one and…oh that’ll look absolutely amazing together!” You sat on the floor picking at your fur rug watching Riri put together your birthday outfit. As much as you appreciated this you still couldn’t bring yourself to celebrate without your girl.

“Come on y/n/n stand up get ready we don’t have all day!” She yanked you up by your arm throwing a bunch of clothes you forgot you had into your arms.

“Ok so I paired that white body con mini dress you had with that beige coat along with those white thigh high boots… oh my-“ she took a pause placing her hand on her chest pretending to cry “you’re gonna look so fucking good” You rolled your eyes slightly laughing at her being dramatic. As you watched her wonder around your room looking for other accessories a concerning thought popped into your head.

“Ri how’d you even get into this building- wait let alone this campus there are no visitors allowed?” she peered at you puckering her lips.

“I might’ve hacked the security system- but it was only to see my favorite girl for her birthday don’t judge me” She rolled her eyes turning back around to finish finding accessories.

While Riri was in her own little world singing, you stared out the window watching all the street lights blends together.

“Oh my god are you gonna wear that long face all night? Y/n cheer up you’re twenty one you’re finally allowed to drink!” You shook her head at her liveliness.

“I don’t drink” your comment was met with a drawn out ‘Lame’ from her.

She swerved into the parking lot behind a moving line of cars out of curiosity your peered out the window reading the bright lit sign.

“Nobu?! NOBU?! Riri we’re two broke college students you think we can afford Nobu?” She rolled her eyes “just get out” You huffed following her lead as she gave her keys to the valet.

She strutted up to the lady behind the reservation desk “excuse me we’re with Ms. Udaku” the hostess nodded smiling “right this way ma’am”

You followed behind them thinking you’ve lost your entire mind, did she say Udaku? Like Shuri Udaku? My Shuri?!

Your questions were quickly answered when you came to a secluded area of the restaurant, and there waited Shuri sitting with a smirk in her face.

“Surprise!” Riri grinned giving you a big hug, you were so out of it you barely hugged her back.

“Wha- I- Shuri!” Shuri’s smiled grew wider as she stood to greet you. “Sthandwa you’d think I’d truly miss your birthday?” She brought you into a tight loving hug. You missed her hugs, so warm, they felt like home. You wrapped your arms around her loving the feeling of being in her arms again. As she pulled away you caught a scent of her perfume, god you could sniff her all day. She smelled like heaven.

“You know I absolutely hate you guys I can’t believe you lied to me” they both shrugged giggling evilly.

“I can’t lie though Shuri, it was hard I almost gave in a few times I mean she was just so hurt” Shuri pouted at Riri’s confession.

“Awe my usana” Shuri cooed pecking your lips, that peck turned into a full kiss and then Shuri found her hand creeping up your thigh.

“Well that’s my cue love birds, I’ll see you at the hotel we can gift give there. Also thanks for the dinner Shuri” Riri said scurrying away before Shuri could say you’re welcome. You giggled watching her leave, but Shuri gently grabbed your chin bringing your attention back to her.

“Don’t look at other women you’ll make me jealous” she gazed at you with sultry eyes as her thumb grazed your bottom lip. You rolled your eyes not even bothering to fight back a flustered smile.

“Don’t think you’re in my good graces cutie, your sweet words and this tennis bracelet isn’t gonna cut it” you said referring to the gift she gave you when you first arrived. Although you couldn’t lie it was beautiful, it was a vine tennis bracelet from Tiffany and Co. and you were positive it costs a pretty penny.

Shuri tilted her head fake pouting “maybe this’ll make up for it?” you felt her place her slide closer up your thigh, the more it crept closer to your heat the wetter you became. You could feel it soaking through your thin panties you wore. “God you look so sexy tonight” she whispered near your ear sending chills down your back. You haven’t seen her in so long you almost forgot how her touch affected you. As your lips were inches apart, you could feel her breath hitting yours and the more you leaned in the more she pulled away. What a tease.

“Would you like dessert to go?” You snatched back looking up at the waitress. She wore a small smirk holding a tray as she piled your dishes on. You blinked rapidly feeling your entire body heat up with embarrassment, damn you forgot where your were.

“Yes please” Shuri calmly answered as if nothing happened. The waitress gave a smile nodding “I won’t take too long.” She winked leaving.

“Oh I so hate you” you muttered still flustered from her.

She chuckled “No you don’t.”

Shuri Masterlist

©heejayy 2023 — any reposts outside of tumblr or translations of my works are strictly prohibited unless granted permission 🤍

Borders- @firefly-graphics

[pearlcatcher-problems]

a few finished projects that I've been vibing with a lot! and their bonus lore rambles under the cut to keep things a little more trim ; w;

» the wives [ Padparadscha | Bunanuhnanuh ]

antique jaguar ᛜ ginger breakup ᛜ terracotta koi bronze piebald ᛜ white basic ᛜ terracotta koi

» the twins [ Naberius | custard ]

stone piebald ᛜ white basic ᛜ spruce koi tarnish pharaoh ᛜ white basic ᛜ brown basic

» acolyte goblin ambassador [ moss ]

white basic ᛜ obsidian paint ᛜ hickory koi

I swear I'm normal about naming dragons-- I'll have serious names alongside dumb meme ones and treat them equally as seriously as characters. I swear, it makes sense in my lair. I promise.

» the wives [ Padparadscha | Bunanuhnanuh ]

Pad and Bun are wives, with Bun being the elegant airhead and Pad being the gruff behemoth. Pad is near twice Bun's size and tends to be more protective/defensive than the wildclaw is. Her pearl tends to stay with Bun when not in her pearl pouch, who keeps it in one of her silk scarves padded with dry moss and lavender sprigs.

The two of them are residing in the Bazaar, currently travelling between there and the Oasis to finalise some trade agreements before the encampments decide to make proper paths between them. While Bun is more than happy to keep the conversation for the two of them, Pad is just.... always listening. The pearlcatcher beast somehow always seems to know what is going on and can quickly get the answer to the most obscure questions if given enough time to think. This includes knowledge from any of their other outposts, somehow able to just.... know. ( Behind the scenes, she's actually a fraction of a hydra, and despite them being split, they are still able to communicate telepathically with each other, resulting in easy relay of information between allied outposts nearly instantly but the only one who controls/knows of this is Quail. )

Bun used to be part of the Roost outpost, which is why her namesake is so strange compared to the desert-dwellers. She's kept her name, although able to change it any time given how Roost customs are, and finds some joy in how hers and Pad's mirror each other in length. Those close to her may call her Bun or Bana, although Pad tends to call her Sprig, Sweetbean, and other soft little nicknames. When relaxing, Pad often gnaws on Bun's horns when cuddling to keep her tusks in check, something Bun doesn't mind as her horns constantly grow regardless.

» the twins [ Naberius | custard ]

The youngest of the Acolytes ( a subterranean clan that only emerges for three weeks a year and spends the rest of the year worshiping the Solstice trio I / II / III and tunnelling. More Info on them is heeeeeere! ) They have the same affliction post-hatchling that ogi and his younger sibling do, where they just haven't progressed further physically or mentally. They have a lot of inherent volatile magics because of what they are, but they can't always act on it in the way they want due to whatever is stunting them. This leaves the two a little hard to predict, scrapping as often as they'd play, all while leaving arcs of fulgurite along the tunnels from their warring elements.

They are often underfoot, eager to help tunnelling efforts and harvesting lichen, but are easy to tire out and will just nap wherever they run out of energy. It's not uncommon to find both of them blocking a tunnel because they need a quick powernap. Good luck moving them.

Naberius and custard's energy came from an old elemental, also named Naberius, who decayed on the Acolyte border after leaving the bounds of the Oasis. The two spawned from his fall and have many of his powers, but with the stunt and divide between them, it is just a grain of what it used to be. Sezha knew what they grew from, and decided to keep Naberius' name for one as a way to honour his fall, while casket was allowed to name the other, resulting in the mock-roost name: custard.

» acolyte goblin ambassador [ moss ]

Moss is the 'ambassador' for the Acolytes when they're out of the ground, or when dealing with people who come to 'trade' ( drop gifts and supplies, they don't actually want anything from the Acolytes in exchange and are just encouraged to do so by Quail and repaid for it in other ways ) at the outposts' entrance during their submerged seasons. She loves the idea of bartering and making a trade, only really knowing how trade works from her few visits to the Oasis grounds and seeing the elementals make pacts.

When trading, she wears The Hat. The hat is a combination of a few hats she's traded for over the years, worn around the edges and lovingly cared for. She often puts feathers, gemstones, or dried flowers tucked into the brim for flair, and will outright refuse to accept offers from other outposts if she can't get her claws on her hat at that time. All business MUST be done with the hat.

When not being Very Important, she spends most of her time tunnelling and setting up the lighting system in the deeper section of the lair. The Acolytes currently use a lighting method that leeches off the ley lines beneath them, giving them an easy method to track the health of the flow of magic and know when their worship is required. These free-floating orbs can be placed at any area of the lair as long as they're still connected to the earth, and so often will be rooted to the walls with vining plants from handsome's farm.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s2 episode 5 thoughts

boy. where this episode started out and where this episode ended were two VASTLY different spaces. come along while i undergo this journey.

the first thing we see is a dog! a doggy! it's a border collie, and it looks like it could be the same one we see in s1 episode 8- maybe dog actors are in short supply! but border collies are famously very smart and to me the cutest of all dogs, so i was pleased to see a friendly face <3

and then things escalated. aliens arrived to fetch the dog's owner.

thankfully they left the dog alone- perhaps they saw the threatening "ALIENS, STAY AWAY FROM THAT DOG" i had written in my notes- but whatever they are inflicting upon this gentleman seems. unpleasant.

(the aliens are obviously terrifying but they're always shown vaguely wiggling in some cold white light and it does make me laugh. ohhhh here they come. the wigglers)

so in the morning our gentleman- duane- was taken to a correctional facility and he hasn't been taking his meds... and then he hurts his doctor! they always find the kindest looking people to play doctors on this show and then make them suffer

THE NEXT THING WE SEE IS: a pool? the pool scene i wrote about seeing a while ago in my last post! the one where mulder emerges mostly naked from his exercise to face this new guy who looks like he covers his beer stench with a designer cologne!

i rewound to see whose pool it was mulder was swimming in but gained no clues. would be sick if the FBI had an in house pool.

breaking news: this SOAKING WET MAN is called to a HOSTAGE SITUATION!

(i do find it endearing that he swims recreationally <3)

next thing i wrote was "alex is pissing me off" and i don't even remember what he did but i stand by it

so mulder is at the scene, duane has four hostages, and claims to be abducted by aliens. now to mulder it makes perfect sense to ask about his abduction experience, and he's trying to do his homework and follow the rules for hostage negotiation, but duane knows all the tricks because he's former FBI which they DID NOT TELL MULDER!

he walks up to the head of the hostage situation and very angrily asks if she knows about how aliens will take your brains out and fuck with your ovaries and she tries not to laugh at him. mulder tell me what they do to ovaries i'll listen. i'll take notes.

and then alex is trying to be all sickly sweet puppy dog boy and asks if he can do anything to help. so the head of the hostage situation tells him to get her a coffee. HA! POINT AT HIM AND LAUGH.

cutscene to SCULLY CAM!!!! <3 she's gonna sleuth for his medical records

ohhh the power went out and duane started blasting. he shot someone so they're gonna send mulder and another guy in (an excuse for mulder to wear a paramedic uniform.......)

mulder's like nooo i won't tell him i believe in aliens (<- said by a man who is lying)

and off to the races, can you imagine it, he does JUST that, says he believes duane and trades himself for the guy who was shot... he says it happened to his sister OHHHHHHH sister mention

he's got the guy monologuing about his tortures from the aliens and honestly, these aliens are bitches. there is NO reason to do all of this. drilling holes in his teeth??? that's fucked

alex is on the phone with scully who is freaking tf out because duane is lying about who he says he is... when he tells her he traded himself for the injured hostage she says "WHAT!" so loudly and is filled with intense urgency

! MULDER LORE REVEAL ! his sister was 8 when they took her

(for some reason i thought she was 10 when it happened, but the larger age gap between them explains a lot in terms of his instinctive level of Protectiveness towards all creatures big and small)

this next part had me GAGGED: SCULLY FLEW IN FROM WASHINGTON!!!! she is AT THE SCENE and she is YELLING at someone who isn't listening to her

alex made a VERY FATAL mistake in telling her to "calm down" while mulder is a HOSTAGE and she RIGHTFULLY told him off (and frankly she could have kept going and i wouldn't have complained) but she's a woman who gets things done so she finds someone who will actually listen to her

she says he has a very unique case of being shot in a specific part of the brain which happened to another guy before and then that guy became a pathological liar so she is basically saying "duane is the nastiest skank bitch i have ever met do NOT trust him"

so back to the scene. duane is saying the government is there while the aliens do all this. which i have no idea how to interpret so i'm just storing it here for later use.

SCULLY CAN HEAR HIM! she's on his secret wire mic and talking to him. duane can hear her a little bit but is going on about "the mountains"... it was at this point, with scully talking in mulder's ear, that everything was so tense i had a brief moment where i remembered that this is actually a tv show i'm watching in my free time and not an actual life or death thing

mulder convinces duane to let the women go and the younger one says she believes him which had to be impactful i'd think

but the snipers are closing in!!! mulder sees the line of fire on him and calls him over to get him out of the way so he won't get shot....

he asks duane if she was lying to distract him and now he's VERY VERY VERY ANGRY and he tries to calm him back down and say hey... you forgot to lock the door.... please go lock the door...

and he goes over to the door and bam. duane's shot.

we see scully and mulder watch as he's loaded into the ambulance and mulder looks deeply conflicted and once again has his sad wet eyes on because he still believes duane was telling the truth. scully tells mulder he did the right thing in getting him to go to the door, because we all know by now that mulder has a complicated set of feelings towards any loss of life.

"whatever you're feeling, you did the right thing" <- augh. scully loves him so much. oh to love anyone how truly and deeply scully loves this man

(shhhh i'm not getting into what kind of love it is. i don't know and whatever your answer for its flavor is, you cannot deny that she loves him. that she tries to find the exact words he wants to hear to soothe that internal Guilt he wears like a heavy jacket.)

later he smiles when the lead hostage negotiator calls him to thank him because he broke all of her rules and thought he was going to get yelled at LMAOOO that lil smile was very sweet

and he goes to see duane but the REAL reason she called him in was to tell him about the metal they extracted from duane's body... the doctors claim that the stuff in his teeth could not have been made from any current technology... alien life confirmed??

((i thought the episode would end here on a little cliffhanger that never gets resolved but boy. i was off))

no, instead of an episode's conclusion, we see mulder bring the metal pieces to scully, who once again has the most beautiful freckles in the world, and she says she'll take it down to be analyzed.

mulder leaves the room without saying a word which i thought to be cold in the moment and now that i'm typing this knowing what happens next i might actually cry.

she goes to the store and she's buying some stuff... we see kodak film in the background... sigh instant cameras i love you and your work... but she buys $11 of groceries and then sneaks the metal chip across the barcode reader and it makes the whole thing break down!!!!

the poor cashier is freaking out because the machine is going wild and she looks at scully like "did you touch it?" and she says no and awkwardly leaves LMAOOOOOOO i was howling because girl idk wtf i would have done in that situtation either

duane wakes up to more aliens and rips all his medical stuff off and runs like he didn't get shot very recently and he's on the prowl for something

scully's back at her place, calling mulder, telling him about how the barcode scanned, and she's really worked up about the whole thing, when she hears a rustle, but it's just a thunderstorm...

but she goes to the window and DUANE IS THERE!!! a look of horror passes over her face, and we hear her through mulder's answering machine, screaming for help while he takes her

(everything happened SO quickly, it transpired in my notes like this: WHAT!!! he's outside her window WHAT THE FUCK TO BE CONTINUED??)

yes. we get a "TO BE CONTINUED" on the outtro scene.

i sat there, baffled for a few moments, trying to process what i just saw.

but then i thought i noticed something else: her place looked different than it did in s1. at least, i thought it did- we didn't see it much, but perhaps she got fed up with folks showing up like eugene tooms did in s1 and bought a nicer space. i thought the old space was cute though, and maybe it really is the same space but from a different angle, but then i thought about how it looked like mulder's space also changed from s1, so maybe they both moved, or maybe i'm just not good at noticing things, but oh yeah, scully's in virigina now since she's at the academy, so she probably DID move, although i thought the drive from DC to virigina was doable, but maybe not?

none of this changes the fact that scully has been TAKEN.

(i won't lie, i knew this was going to happen at some point, because i read the s2 episode descriptions and saw something about her being "returned", which implies being taken in the first place. but still. it was very abrupt. they had thoroughly lulled me into expecting a vague sort of non-answer of an ending and then switched out the formula at just the right time so i never grew suspicious)

to be continued!!! this is soooo evil, especially because i don't have time to watch the next episode tomorrow. so i'm gonna walk around all day tomorrow at important work events thinking about what horrors scully must be enduring and get NO conclusion as to what they might be. duane i have fists and you are not real and i am small but i am unafraid to bludgeon you. stay away from her if you even LOOK at her ohhhh you're gonna learn a lot more than what it feels like when aliens take out ur brain just keep that in mind!

(and man. i'm sitting here typing. thinking about how mulder never said a real goodbye to her the last time they spoke. and i wonder if that's gonna haunt him. and i wonder if when he gets her back, he always always always makes sure to take the time for a goodbye. just on the off chance it might really be the last one. fuck.)

[mixtape-racha]

it's a scream, baby! | hyunlix

chapter nine: i'll be right back!

words: 1.79k // warnings: minor character death referenced, police presence, basically just lots of panic, main characters smoking a cigarette

OFFICIAL GHOSTFACE KILL COUNT: 005

 

(y/n) awoke with a start, someone hammering on her bedroom door like crazy. she rubbed her eyes, groggy from a lack of sleep, and an ache in her lower body from hers and felix’s late night activities. he had gone back to his own bed after, which (y/n) had pleaded with him to do because she couldn’t deal with the backlash from everyone else just yet.

“what?!” she called, annoyed at the interruption from her finally peaceful sleep. the door swung open, and minho walked in - a coffee in his hand, and his phone unlocked in the other.

“you need to get up, love. the principal called an emergency assembly in the auditorium in an hour… i think they found another body last night.”

(y/n)’s body went cold, her heart thumping in her chest. not again. at least she knew it wasn’t anyone in her dorm, everyone was home last night and minho would have said if anyone was missing.

he gently placed the coffee on her bedside table, a hand coming to rub her head affectionately.

“drink that and shower, yeah? once everyone’s up i’m going to make breakfast and we can all head down there together… you okay?” of course, minho noticed everything. he could tell from a mile away when she was going to cry, or scream, or throw up.

she just nodded softly, taking a sip of the coffee he had provided her - it was perfect, as usual.

“i’m good, min. just want this all to be over.” she sighed, her reassurance making him feel better about leaving her to get herself ready for the day.

although she probably shouldn’t have, (y/n) took her time showering - she gave herself time in the hot water to reflect on the past week, and ponder on what the future might hold. she hoped this emergency assembly wasn’t because of another murder, but deep down she knew there was no other reason for the university to be all up in arms like this. 

after showering, she threw on one of chan’s old sweatshirts that his mom had kindly given her - distributing various items he owned between the people he held dearest - as well as jeongin’s favorite necklace (which she was given for the same reason, and rarely took off unless to shower). paired with some sweatpants and crusty, old sneakers, she knew she looked a mess but was too far gone too really care.

when she finally left her room half an hour after minho first came in, she knew she’d have to rush to eat in order to get to the assembly on time, but she couldn’t avoid eating until once she was back in fear of worrying the boys.

and minho hadn’t lied when he said he’d make breakfast for everyone - toast, sliced fruit, even more coffee in a jug was sitting on the kitchen table - she happily took a seat between hyunjin and felix to join the foodfest, smiling at seungmin across the table to appease his worried expression.

breakfast, surprisingly, went absolutely fine that morning. it was the first time since losing chan and jeongin that things had felt relatively bordering on normal. while a huge part of her heart was missing, (y/n) felt an overwhelming comfort in being surrounded by her boys, even though such awful circumstances lead to it.

slowly, the group of seven made their way onto the main campus, finding huge crowds of people lingering outside the auditorium. when everyone began slowly filing in, the group were quick to make sure they could be seated together. (y/n) was carefully seated between minho and felix, seungmin on minho’s other side and the remaining three seated directly in front of the others.

the hall was filled with hushed voices, all discussing what they think happened, who they think the newest victim was. in a way, the morbid curiosity was bringing the community together. (y/n) tired to tune out every mention of the last two victims - hearing chan and jeongin’s names falling out of people’s mouths so easily made her feel a bit nauseous. it was only when the principal made his way to the podium in the center of the stage that the room went silent.

“good morning, students and faculty alike. as i’m sure you can imagine, we have been working hard and tirelessly behind the scenes to avoid keeping our students safe while they are living on our campus. we pride ourselves on being the quietest campus in this region of the country, and our students safety will always be our top priority.”

(y/n) rolled her eyes at that, not really believing a word the principal said - really, he just cared about his reputation and sponsor donations to keep the sports community running.

“however, with a heavy heart, we have to tell you that the invisible attacker has claimed the life of a sixth student of the woodsboro college. our hearts go out to the family and friends of lee jinyoung, who spent the past two years serving as our student council president.”

it was then a few gasps rang out across the auditorium. lee jinyoung was such a bright and kind person, one (y/n) had come across many times while working on the winter ball’s planning committee last year. the principal went onto explaining that jinyoung’s parents had given his permission to share some details - like how his body had been found in an alleyway just a minute away from the dorm block (y/n) lived in.  it was scarily close.

“we, as a staff, and also in compatibility with the local police force, have decided we can provide only a few solutions. all classes have been suspended until further notice. we will also be giving students the opportunity to choose between staying in their dormitories, or moving home or off campus, as in approximately four hours the campus will be put on full lockdown.

the police have kindly provided many officers to act as security around campus, and anyone leaving their dorm buildings after lockdown has begun will be escorted wherever they need to go. there will be a member of staff waiting in the lobby of each dormitory building when you return so you can confirm whether you will be staying, or leaving campus until we reopen. thank you.”

it felt like the entire auditorium was in shock, so silent you could hear a pin drop. no one knew what to say, how to act. the group of seven didn’t speak a word to one another until they’d left the auditorium and were congregated outside their dorm building. the stress was far too much, and (y/n) cursed as she dropped her lighter from her pocket.

she just needed a cigarette to calm her nerves, but even that couldn’t go right. changbin picked it up, lighting the tip of her roll-up for her with a soft smile.

“mind if it two’s it? i left my tin at the dorm.” (y/n) shook her head, handing the paper to changbin after she took a drag. they made small talk over the smoke, seungmin butting in to join or pinch a small drag once, but it was nice to have some one-on-one time with changbin while the others were discussing what the hell they should do.

it was only when they joined back into the circle, (y/n) tucking herself under jisung’s arm that changbin chimed in on the subject at hand.

“i mean… my parents are on a business trip until next friday, we can always go crash at mine? its more space than the dorms, and less restrictions on what we’re allowed to do.” he shrugged.

“well, to a certain extent,” minho added, side eyeing (y/n) carefully. “we still need to be cautious and sensible.”

the rest of the group ended up agreeing; planning to go back up to the dorm and pack whatever they needed before carpooling the changbin’s parents home the other side of town. it was a large house, but far enough on the outskirts of town to not have to worry about being caught in the middle. they could take a trip to the next town over to do their food shopping and for some air, and hopefully that would cover all bases they needed to worry about.

as they all headed in, and upstairs to begin their packing process, minho stayed a second to discuss their plans with the staff member waiting in the lobby. when he finally made it up to the dorm, he gathered everyone’s attention to clear up some things.

“okay, so obviously we need to be out of here in the next 3 hours at max, but thats plenty of time. we’re allowed to keep hold of our keys, and we don’t have to take all of our stuff. just enough to last us until they close up for summer, or reopen if that happens beforehand. changbin - you’re going to take jisung, (y/n) and felix in your car, and i’m going to take seungmin and hyunjin in mine. your car is bigger so it makes sense to put most people with you.”

everyone agreed, minho naturally filling the position as the dad of the group. he had a presence that commanded respect, and it was a quality (y/n) appreciated massively. she didn’t know what they’d do if they lost him too, it would be like a group of lost puppies without an owner left to fend for themselves.

they quickly began packing up anything they thought they might need, each restricting themselves to a suitcase and a duffle bag (maybe a backpack too, if necessary). it only took them all around an hour, going further to offer food to the students staying on campus that they had no need for when they’d be at changbin’s.

once they’d all figured everything out that they needed to in the dorms - turning off the boiler, making sure all the plugs were switched off - they headed to fill the cars up. (y/n) tried to make herself feel better by telling herself to see it as a vacation, but it was difficult. the police finding the case so cryptic, so confusing, with no obvious motive, that the entire had to go into lockdown.

and the drive to changbin’s was quiet. jisung had called shotgun, so (y/n) and felix were sat in the back, hands gently intertwined as a show of support for one another - felix was very sensitive, and (y/n) could tell he was finding it harder than everyone else.

when they pulled into the driveway as his massive family home, changbin just hoped they were out the way enough to escape the madness taking place in town.

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[bell-arina271]

Living Spaces for Artists: Interest Survey

Hello tumblr, my name is Arina, and I have considered for several years now creating a living space in the US for artists and creatives alike just starting out on their respective journeys. My idea was to purchase a large house and rent out rooms for incredibly cheap, so that the struggling artist would have a means to live on their own while they focus on their career. In my search for a starter house for myself, I stumbled across two properties that would help me realize this dream even sooner than I realized. However, as with all things, nothing is perfect, and there are a few caveats. The first is that both properties are in the northern United States, which means hot summers and harsh and cold winters. The second is that one is located far from metropolitan areas, and are mostly surrounded by small towns. It would not be impossible to find a regular job in these areas, but may require a commute.

Both properties are in need of renovations. There are several rooms that are structurally sound, which I would be willing to rent out in the case of emergency, but for the most part the buildings would not be available until at least mid-next year.

For both properties, I would rent the rooms out at $200/month, and yes that would include utilities. You would be allowed up to two people per room, and two pets per room. Property descriptions below the cut.

The first property is located in Wisconsin, near the Great Lakes and the Canadian border. From the looks of it, this was a caretaker home for the elderly, and as such has handicap access and multiple entrances. My idea was to rent out the top floor to residents, and then airbnb the bottom floor rooms. From what I’ve been told this area is high in tourism for outdoor activities and the like, so I may even be able to make an arrangement to have a few people have free room and board in exchange for maintaining the rooms, or cooking or cleaning up after guests. (This is a rough work in progress idea.)

As you can see, most rooms still need renovations, but several rooms can be considered move-in ready.

Has a large functional kitchen, and walk-in cooler, which would allow multiple people to use it at once, or hypothetically, sustain a semi-hotel set up.

Several bathrooms are functional and in working order, but would need to be shared. There is one bathroom for every two rooms, and I would need to decide whether to convert a couple bedrooms into bathrooms to accommodate everyone, but at the moment, consider these like dorms where you have to share bathrooms.

And that’s it for the first property! Onto the next one:

This next property is located in Chariton Iowa, about an hour south of Des Moines. Finding a job here wouldn’t be too difficult, though it would require a bit of a commute.

As far as I can tell the whole building is in need of renovations, so this wouldn’t be move-in ready until next year. I would also need to convert a couple rooms into bathrooms, because having 4 bathrooms between 15 rooms isn’t feasible for many people.

And that just about sums it up! This post is for me to see if anyone else is even interested in my idea, but if no one bites, then I will likely buy these properties to convert them into a bed and breakfast/motel type situation.

Or, if people buy these properties before me, I’ll find a smaller property to start small with my idea.

So, that being said:

If you’d like to be updated on the progress of whichever project/endeavor I end up taking, go ahead and follow this blog.

And if you can, please reblog this, or tell anyone you think might need this, so I can see if there are any interested parties. Thank you <3

[taffywabbit]

For an embarrassingly long time, I thought radfem arguments were based in "maybe there's some valid points about feminism in here somewhere but they're directing their energy towards the wrong things and the wrong people". It wasn't until new talking points about trans people started emerging and seeing popular radfem bloggers completely contradict earlier feminist arguments they've made in order to further spread vitriol about trans women that I realized "Oh. The feminism was *never* the point."

yep, pretty much. for me it always comes back to how every definition terfs produce for what a "woman" is immediately excludes a ton of people besides the ones they're TRYING to exclude (trans people), and their attempts to further narrow that definition end up just sorta undoing all the prior progress made by feminist movements in the past as they inevitably start drawing barriers around the EXACT rigid binary societal roles they think a woman should conform to.

terfs are so desperate to shut out trans women and avoid relating to them in any way (and also trans men, but only if you remind them they exist so they can remember to be dismissive and condescending about them) that they have to double and triple down on the idea that MEN AND WOMEN ARE TWO CLEAR AND DISTINCT GROUPS WITH ZERO SIMILARITIES OR OVERLAP EVER and it's just.... deeply childish? it's fucking embarrassing how quickly the facade of progressivism and equality falls to the wayside as soon as they're confronted with someone they think is subhuman. some of them honestly sound like they're only a step or two away from "women should bear and raise children and cook and clean and never do anything that could be perceived as manly, lest they blur the lines between genders and allow the devil into their homes" and it would border on comedic if only their proposed solution to that "problem" wasn't violence. the pretense of actual feminism has been all but abandoned by radfems at this point. it is a limp corpse being paraded around as a shield for hatred