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dulcewrites · 2 years

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I love your writing! Could you write where black!reader is tired of Austin!Elvis spoiling her and constantly buying her jewelry, gifts, basically being a sugar daddy and how she loves him for him 🥹.

Can’t Buy Me Love

Paring: austin!elvis x black reader

Requested: yes (thank you!)

Warnings: elvis having very old fashion ideas about relationships

A/N: I swear I feel like you guys can see my brain. I had an sugar daddy!elvis idea on my idea list but took it off once I got this. I might still add it bc it was a bit different. Less I love you for you and more get bread, get that head, and leave with 70s elvis lmao. I feel like the Hollywood sign look was a very #expensive look. It’s giving money, it’s giving I’ll drop a couple of bands on my girl like it’s light work

You learned very quickly into your relationship with Elvis that he is a giver. Yes, you had been pursued before, but it was nothing compared to the stops Elvis pulled out after you two met.

It all started innocently. Your mom owned a women’s clothing boutique where you worked as a designer and seamstress. The business had started to transition into making costumes for tv and movie productions. So, you didn’t think much of it when you found yourself on an MGM set helping out. That was until you met Elvis.

You didn’t consider yourself someone that’s easily charmed. But when one evening he brushes a curl out of your eye and tells you he hopes you two can see each other after shooting ends, you realize you’re a goner.

The gift giving starts on the first date when he gives you a brand new sewing machine. At first you were a bit put off. Is this what he does? Butters women up with gifts, and expects things in return. But then you see the way he treats his dad, friends, and staff; Elvis would give away every penny to those close to him if he could. He’s wants everyone happy, almost to a fault.

It’s been almost a year since that first date, and the gifts haven’t slowed down like you thought it eventually would. He has you now; no need for excessive displays of affection. But here you, staring at the Tiffany bag he set in front of you while you were sketching.

“Baby….” You trail off trying to think of the words say. Dispute what he may say, Elvis is sensitive. You know how he will get if you say you don’t need more jewelry.

“Think of it as an early anniversary present,” he beams at you.

You thought the trip to Lake Tahoe that you two were taking was the present. Slowly, you open the bag and pull out the velvet box. Inside is a sparkling tennis bracelet, and your eyes get a bit wide. This has to be the most expensive piece of jewelry he’s gotten you.

“It’s beautiful,” you watch him take the bracelet out of the box and start to put in on your wrist. “But-“

“But,” he interrupts with furrowed brows. “Did you not like like it?”

You sigh. How do you even go about explaining this to him? That the thing you love the most about him, his big warm heart, is also the thing that can drive you up a wall sometimes.

“Baby, do you know why I wanted to take that Lake Tahoe trip,” you ask softly. “It’s not because I just love skiing so much. I want to be with you… alone.”

Another thing you learned once you started dating Elvis is that if you’re dating him, you’re basically dating his friends. It was made clear to you that to be accepted by him meant being accepted by the boys. You love being around them, but it does get exhausting not having your boyfriend to yourself. Between the movies, the music, the posse of friends, and your job, alone time is something you both have to fight for.

“I appreciate the gifts. I understand they’re a gesture of love, but it’s not necessary,” you take his hand and squeeze it. “I’d take having you for week with no one bothering us over an albeit very beautiful bracelet.”

Elvis gives you soft look, blue eyes swimming with something you can’t put your finger on.

“How do you manage to do that?”

You tilt your head to side curiously.

“Do what,” you ask confused.

“Manage to make me feel like I can be myself,” he leans his forehead against yours, and you grin.

“What can I say, I have that affect on people,” you shrug playfully.

You look down at the new jewelry on your wrist. It is a really nice bracelet. You hop into his lap and wrap your arms around him.

“Why don’t I give you an early anniversary present too,” you lean down and kiss his neck.

Elvis hums in response before surprising you and picking you up bridal style.

“I have a feeling I’m going to like that present.”

#austin!elvis x reader #black!reader #elvis 2022 #my writing #requests #austin elvis imagine #elvis x reader #black!oc #austin butler imagine

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musiconanironingboard · 2 years

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14 March 2022: Spike, Elvis Costello. (2022 Music on Vinyl/Warner reissue of 1989 Warner Bros. release)

This was Elvis Costello’s first album for Warner Bros. after he spent his whole 22-year career on Columbia Records in the US. It was a big deal at the time. It was also his first album since his 1977 debut without backing band The Attractions appearing in any way. When it came out, I was beside myself with anticipation. My mother worked at our town’s main shopping mall and I begged her to pick up my special order on her way home on release day. I was still in high school. Something got bungled somewhere and the store gave her a cassette. I didn’t do cassettes; I’d ordered a vinyl copy. She arrived home, aggrieved by the errand to begin with, and I was incredulous about the cassette. I insisted on driving back to the mall myself that very moment to correct the error, and a kerfuffle ensued. I had to wait several days before I had the vinyl album in my hands, and you’d think I had real problems as stressed out as I was about it. Spike was worth the wait; a lot of people found it an unacceptable cacophony, aside from the hit single “Veronica,” but I found plenty to love about it.

In 1989 the compact disc was the big hype, and companies often would try to lure you to that more expensive medium by adding a bonus track. Spike’s CD had the track “Coal Train Robberies,” which didn’t appear on the vinyl. This meant I had to buy both formats. I still don’t view “Coal Train Robberies” as part of Spike, but in this modern age of vinyl revivalism, Spike has now been reissued as a double album with plenty of room to include that CD-era bonus track on a vinyl incarnation.

Music on Vinyl is an label that does authorized, licensed reissues, but it always seems a little fake to me. They’ve previously done a few Costello albums that didn’t get vinyl releases in their original incarnation. This Spike reissue looks and feels pretty good, though the color saturation on the front cover is off and it looks like a bad photocopy to me. Regardless, I look forward to this new experience of Spike in this modern incarnation. If anyone cares about Spike decades from now, it’s possible that it won’t be remembered as a single LP lacking “Coal Train Robberies.”

Above are the front cover, hype sticker, and back cover.

Next is the gatefold. These elements were originally on the black-and-white inner sleeve of the 1989 release.

The records come in these nice poly-lined black inner sleeves.

Here is a close-up of side one’s label.

Next is a shot of the green wax.

Last, here is a sad aspect of this release. Astute-eyed people recognized upon its original 1989 release that Costello’s goofy head is poking out of a Warner Bros. shield on the front cover. I remember loving that silent nod to his new label affiliation, which also seemed to refer to old Warner Bros. cartoons, and being amazed how few writers acknowledged or seemed to recognize this undeniable fact. Spike to me will always belong on Warner Bros. Records. A few years ago, a shake-up at the company barred them from using the shield or the word “Bros.” in their name, so now Spike has the sad 2020s “Warner Records” logo. It looks so apologetic and embarrassing. I’ll never stop complaining about what’s become of this record company’s name and logo. I’ve seen better logos on mom-and-pop taco stands.

I also want to say a word about the shop I purchased this from. Music on Vinyl is a UK company, so you generally have to buy their things from overseas. Brexit has caused purchases from England to incur huge shipping charges, sometimes considerably more than the item you’re buying. I tracked this down at the Dublin shop Spindizzy, and Dublin is in the European Union where postal charges are still sane. Not only was it more affordable than anywhere else, Spindizzy is a quality act all the way, from their communicative updates about your order to the way they package their shipments and the extra care they take, like giving you an extra plastic sleeve to put your new album in. I will be using Spindizzy more in the future, I have no doubt.

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brokenbuttonsmusic · 3 years

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Eleni Mandell: L.A. Singer-Songwriter with Smoky Chrissie Hynde Vocals and a flair for Tom Waits’ Influenced Experimentation

This post is a near- transcript of the Broken Buttons: Buried Treasure Music podcast (episode 5, side A). Here you’ll find the narration from the segment featuring the L.A. singer-songwriter, Eleni Mandell, along with links, videos, photos and references for the episode.

Listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple, Anchor or Mixcloud.

Have you ever bought the wrong record? Like, you intended to buy something that sounded like one thing and you accidentally grab something that sounds very different.

I don’t know if this happens anymore, but I believe it was quite common years ago. Imagine hearing an artist on the radio and being blown away. You go to the record store, find the plastic divider with the name of whom you’re looking for, but you can’t remember the name of the album, or even the song. Remember, you don’t have a tiny computer in your pocket. You’re too nervous to ask the store clerk for fear of looking stupid. So you roll the dice.

“I know it was someone called Neil Young, but there are a thousand Neil Young records here.”

“Hey, this pink one looks cool.”

That exact scenario didn’t happen to me, but that album, Neil Young’s Everybody’s Rockin’, happened to be the most played Neil Young album in my house growing up, so for years I thought Neil Young was a rockabilly revival act. In reality, that was one of several oddball records Young released during a tumultuous period with his record label to fulfill his contract demands. I still love that record.

Eleni Mandell did live out the scenario of buying the wrong record though. She shared the story during a segment of the show Bullseye with Jessie Thorn, where she describes seeing Tom Waits on MTV late at night—back when MTV still cared about music. It was either 120 minutes or IRS’ The Cutting Edge. This would have been around 1984 or 1985, so right around the time of Wait’s masterpiece Rain Dogs. When she went to the record store though, she picked up the 1976 Tom Waits’ Asylum release, Small Change instead. Now Small Change is still a great Tom Waits album, but it sounds nothing like the drastically reimagined sound and musical approach he had begun to employ starting with 1983’s Swordfishtrombones. Something Tom Waits called his “junkyard orchestral deviation.” The spare, off-kilter percussion. Moaning trombones and muted trumpets. Marimba. Plenty of marimba. Experimental instruments mixed in everywhere. Megaphones and CB radios. Trash can lids.

This is the sound Eleni was looking for.

Instead she got lush strings. Delicate piano. Cinematic swells and a melancholy wail.

She got this.

Still awesome, but not the same. She credits the experience with changing her life. She grew to love both sides of the Tom Waits coin. The jazzy piano man in the smoky, whiskey-drenched nightclub and the eclectic, experimental carnival barker that she had her first encounter with on late night MTV.

You can hear that deep appreciation and influence for the full Tom Waits spectrum injected and swirling through Eleni Mandell’s own spectacular catalog that spans more than 20 years now.

She’s got plenty of experimental Waits, especially in her early catalog.

And quite a bit of the jazzy nightclub vibe.

There’s also plenty of folk-y Eleni mixed in, and even some country.

You’ll notice that Eleni’s voice doesn’t sound like Tom Waits though. Did you notice that? It’s less of a deep, gravelly howl and more of rich Chrissie Hynde croon. Spin compared her to Chrissie Hynde and PJ Harvey. Rolling Stone compared her captivating melodies and witty lyricism to early Elvis Costello.

While she doesn’t have the Tom Waits’ wail, she does specialize in his particular brand of character song-study. Like this first song we’re going to hear. The first track off of Eleni Mandell’s second album Thrill. Released in the year 2000. This is Pauline.

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Pauline, from Eleni Mandell’s second record, Thrill. So how did this remarkably unique singer-songwriter get her start and pull together so many interesting influences to create the sound we just heard.

Eleni grew up in the Sherman Oaks region of the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles. She started playing music when she was just 5, beginning with the violin and then piano. Eleni didn’t love playing either, but continued to take lessons until she was thirteen. She remembers wanting to learn to write songs early on, but didn’t have the first idea of how to approach it, especially on violin. She jumped from violin and piano to guitar as a teenager. Her parents exposed her to a variety of musical styles. Her mom would take her to musicals and her dad, a serious record collector, played her Hoagy Carmichael and plenty of jazz standards. She loved the Beatles and remembers Diana Ross making an early impression.

Another early life changing moment came when she discovered the Los Angeles punk band X.

X were huge in LA, and their first album (called Los Angeles) was the first record Eleni ever owned. Or maybe the first she asked to own. The first record she was ever given was Shaun Cassidy’s greatest hits for her 4th birthday. The first she ever purchased with her own money was X’s third release, Under the Big Black Sun. She tells a story of when she was out record shopping at a place called Aron’s Records, located on Melrose, and to her utter befuddlement came face to face with John Doe, lead singer of X. He was shopping for records too. She quickly snapped up a copy of the band’s third album and asked John to sign it. He did. She still has the signed album, which reads “Yours” complete with a big X “-John Doe.” That was the last autograph she ever asked for. It was not, however, the last time her path would cross with that of the band X.

When she was a little bit older, she met Chuck E. Weiss, songwriter, rock n’ roller, beat poet and peculiar Tom Waits associate. Also the subject of the song, Chuck E.’s in Love.

Yes, that Chuck E. Weiss. Waits was in a relationship with Rickie Lee Jones. Waits, Jones and Weiss all lived at the seedy Tropicana Motel in Los Angeles. One day Weiss up and left out of nowhere. Some time later Chuck E. called the apartment where Jones and Waits were living. He explained to Waits that he had moved to Denver because he had fallen in love with a cousin there. Waits hung up the phone and announced to Jones, “Check E.’s in love. Rickie Lee Jones liked that so much that she it turned it into the song we just heard.

Who is this episode about again? Oh, right. Eleni Mandell. Anyway, Eleni Mandell met THAT Chuck E. Weiss when she was not yet 21. Still, she had a friend who was able to get her into The Central, a Sunset Strip club that would later become The Viper Room. This would’ve been around 1990. Weiss was playing there every Monday.

Here’s how the write up on Eleni’s original website describes her first encounter with Weiss.

“The first time she ever saw Chuck E. Weiss perform, he walked right up to her and smiled like a cross between The Cheshire Cat and an escaped mental patient. She met him a month later at Musso and Frank’s.”

Eleni says she was at the famous Hollywood restaurant and recognized Weiss. She worked up the courage to approach him and told him how much she loved his show. He asked if she wanted to accompany him to meet up with a friend at Canter’s Deli. She agreed. When they settled into one of the landmark eaterys iconic red, vinyl booths in walked her hero. Tom Waits. What a night. Tom asked Chuck how he and Eleni had met.

“Hebrew school,” he declared.

Here’s a tune from Eleni’s debut album, Wishbone, released in 1999. This is Sylvia.

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From Eleni Mandell’s first album, Wishbone, that was Sylvia.

Under Chuck E. Weiss’ mentorship, produced by Jon Brion and self-financed by Mandell, Wishbone, as well as her next several records, received strong reviews and drew comparisons to Waits and PJ Harvey in style.

Before Weiss mentored Mandell, he hired her as a door person at his club. She said he would test her to see how tough a door person she was by trying to grab money out of her hand. Weiss would continue to mentor Eleni over the years and they’re still friends to this day.

For her fourth album, Mandell shook things up by diving into traditional country. A mix of covers and originals, 2003’s Country For True Lovers is an exciting update to her sound. And one of her life changing moments came full circle. Weiss introduced her to former X guitarist Tony Gilkyson, who produced the project. She also stacked the sessions with all star players, including Nels Cline from Wilco, and another X hero, drummer D.J. Bonebreak.

Eleni continued to mix and mesh genres on her next release, 2004’s Afternoon.

From the No Depression review of that album:

“Last years Country For True Lovers found Los Angeles chanteuse Eleni Mandell turning her sights on twang rather than her previous more PJ Harvey-oriented material, and she received plenty of critical acclaim in the process, sharing the LA Weekly 2003 songwriter of the year award with the late Elliot Smith.”

“On Afternoon, her fifth album, Mandell combines her love of various genres, including country, pop, jazz and rock, to stunning effect. Produced by Joshua Grange, who also lends his considerable talents on guitar, pedal steel, Hammond organ and piano, Afternoon mostly takes the slow and sexy approach. I’ve Been Fooled and Can’t You See Im Soulful give Mandell the chance to show off her breathy but passionate alto, which can devastate in a heartbeat.”

“Mandell does rock out from time to time, as on Easy On Your Way Out, which has a grungy Elvis Costello-gets-on-with-Liz Phair feel to it. I wanna be your afternoon/I want you coming back for more, Mandell sings on the sorta fun/sorta sad title song.”

She can also write catchy singles. Like this song from Afternoon, “Let’s Drive Away.”

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That was Let’s Drive Away from Eleni Mandell’s fifth album, Afternoon, released in 2004. That song was also featured on the TV show, Weeds.

And here comes the challenging part of covering an artist like Eleni Mandell, who’s put out consistently solid albums for over two decades. There’s not enough time to feature all the good stuff she’s produced, but trust me, over her eleven albums, she always delivers. From the diverse shifting sounds of Artificial Fire [play clip] to the smooth and breezy Dark Lights Up [play clip], Eleni whirls a magical combination of jazz, folk, pop, country and rock, with just enough experimental twists to keep everything fresh.

She’s also branched out from her solo artist gig to release two albums with her band The Grabs. The Grabs allows her to exercise more of her pop side and features Eleni on vocals, Blondie bassist Nigel Harrison, and Silversun Pickups’ drummer Elvira Gonzalez.

And, she’s also released records with the Andrews Sisters inspired supergroup, The Living Sisters, with Inara George, Alex Lilly and Becky Stark.

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I’d recommend checking out all of this.

So now that we’ve established that the Eleni Mandell road is paved with the goods, let’s skip ahead to focus on her most recent album: 2019’s Wake Up Again.

Here’s what Eleni and her website have to say about the latest release:

“For two years or thereabouts,” Mandell says, “I taught songwriting at two colleges and a women’s prison.”

The prison gig came about via Jail Guitar Doors, the organization founded by Wayne Kramer, guitarist of the vaunted Detroit band MC5, in partnership with English musician Billy Bragg. “I don’t know why exactly I was drawn to that work,” Mandell says. “But I had a family member who had been in prison in the 1940s. He wasn’t around when I was growing up, but that sort of fascinated me and I was always curious about what kind of person disappears and what kind of person commits crimes — what are they thinking?”

Working with the inmates also provided many epiphanies for her as a person, and proved fertile for her as an artist, as captured in the 11 songs on this album, her 11th studio release. In many ways it’s the culmination and fulfillment of all the strengths as a writer and performer going back to her start under the tutelage of Chuck E. Weiss, Tom Waits and other top chroniclers of people in the shadows.

“I really enjoyed it,” she says. “I was inspired by the stories, and surprised by the laughter I heard there. And I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was, by how many different kinds of people were there: teachers, lawyers, nurses, and also people who grew up in poverty.”

Here’s a song about one of the woman she met during those songwriting classes she taught. This is Evelyn.

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Evelyn from Eleni Mandell’s most recent album, Wake Up Again. Another great addition to her expansive, impressive catalog. The album is filled with rich character studies and deeply personal self-examinations.

Her early Tom Waits inspiration continues to ignite and propel her, even after 11 albums. Only now she can call Tom a longtime friend.

And she went from obsessive punk rock X fan to counting a member of X as a member of her own band. What a cool, thrilling ride she’s had so far. Eleni Mandell.

References and other stuff:

Eleni interview with Luxury Wagers

Eleni interview with Mr. Bonzai

Eleni interview with Tyler Pollard on Timeline

The bio from Eleni’s current website has a great write up on her most recent album and I quote from it in the episode.

No Depression review of Afternoon that I quote in the episode

Here is the original bio from Eleni’s old website that is now archived. I also quote from this

Eleni has been featured on NPR segments over the years. I did not use anything directly from these, but they are good and informative

Pop Matter review of Dark Lights Up

Good L.A. Times article about Eleni teaching songwriting to female inmates and her latest album

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becky69lu · 4 years

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Ed Edd n Eddy Music Taste Headcanons

Last night me and my friend came up with ideas of what the kids from Ed Edd n Eddy would listen to for music. And I thought I’d share with you all :) (You’re free to disagree but this is what I think the characters would like)

Ed: This guy would definitely be into soundtracks. Video games, horror movies, etc. He’ll enjoy them all. I feel like he’d be the type to explain why he likes a song on a soundtrack, like the vibes it gives him and how good it was in whatever game/movie it was.

Double D: Growing up he’d be into classical music by default. It’s all his parents played so it’s what he’s conditioned to like. I feel like as a result he’d never really have a preference to listen to music because he mainly uses it as a form of relaxation for studying or concentrating. But when he entered high school it’s a whole other story. He ends up befriending (or dating, depending what you ship) Marie. She introduces him to her music (which we’ll get into in a bit!). You’d expect Double D to hate it. Hardcore rock and heavy metal seemed a bit extreme. At first he might think it’s just noise. To his surprise, he ends up enjoying it immensely and starts to understand why people listen to music for fun. On more than one occasion Ed and Eddy will catch up to Double D in the hallways or the walk home from school and catch him blasting some heavy band. It surprises people greatly what Double D likes, but in a good way.

Eddy: This dude is the embodiment of the meme where you listen to rap with the homies but something else when alone. This guy will listen to Lil Peep and Juice WRLD, and don’t get me wrong he genuinely likes it, but it reaches its max appeal at some point. By himself he’ll listen to old school music. He really likes Elvis, Frankie Valli and Frank Sinatra. It’s what he grew up listening to with his dad in the car and loves it to this day. He’s not ashamed of it but prefers to look cool for listening to rap around random people. Really only Ed and Double D have listened to his playlist with him. The only thing he kind of hides which is a guilty pleasure is NSYNC and The Backstreet Boys. I feel like in high school Eddy and Kevin would be close bros, the kind that constantly pick on each other for fun but they really do appreciate each other and will be there for each other. As a result of their constant roasting, both of them listen to rap together but end up going home and listening to completely different things.

May: Growing up, all three of the Kanker Sisters listened to Country. Their mother enjoyed it so she’d play it around the house a lot. May’s the only sister who’s favorite genre is Country though. She loves Carrie Underwood, Luke Bryan, etc. In high school, her music taste opened up slightly. She likes pop music and enjoys a bit of Marina and the Diamonds, and Melanie Martinez (which she heard from Marie’s room and thought it sounded good.) She’s still a country girl at heart but enjoys bubblegum pop too. She’s also the type to enjoy basically anything, but she refuses to listen to heavy rock. Her limit to rock music is screaming, and at that point she wants to shut it off.

Marie: A rocker at heart. Of course she always dressed the part, but didn’t actually listen to rock music until she was 13. She entered her emo phase and never left. She likes classic rock, modern rock, and anything alternative or indie. Her favorites are Asking Alexandria, My Chemical Romance, A Day to Remember, Falling In Reverse and In This Moment. In terms of other music, she really likes P!nk, Avril Lavigne, and Ke$ha. The only genre she hates is country. For her, growing up listening to it constantly made her hate it because it was overplayed. She refuses to listen to it and sometimes her and May butt heads when in the car trying to play music.

Lee: This girl takes pride in her music taste. She flaunts her love for old school rap. She loves 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, B.I.G., Tupac, and Eminem. She’ll play it around whoever is willing to listen and genuinely enjoys it. If her and Eddy became friends (or dated) she’d get him into Eminem especially. Regarding other music, she enjoys anything 2000′s like Nelly and TLC. She still likes Country music too, but doesn’t listen to it as often as other stuff.

Rolf: He listens to foreign music. I feel like this one’s obvious but it’s true. He listens to music that’s poppin in his homeland. When he’s around Kevin and Nazz he actually grimaces at their playlist. He probably won’t like any of it, even if he’s open-minded about it. On occasion he’ll end up liking a few songs or artists from them but not a lot. I feel like he’d like a little bit of Post Malone.

Jimmy: He’s a THEATER KID!! When he goes to high school he immediately joins the theater program. He’s definitely that one kid that’s liked by everyone. But for music, he’d definitely enjoy musicals. Hamilton, Dear Evan Hansen, Wicked. You name it, he probably enjoys it. He also likes disney music as well like the soundtracks from Mulan, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, etc. And he’ll definitely be in every spring musical and already know the songs.

Sarah: Since her and Jimmy are best friends, of course she also becomes a theater kid. She’s probably one of the most disliked people in the program but doesn’t care. She also enjoys musicals but not to the extent that Jimmy does. They still listen to them together all the time. She probably really likes pop music. Katy Perry is one of her favorites. She’s definitely a Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber fan. To be honest she probably went through a hardcore K-POP phase where she had a stan twitter and everything.

Jonny: He mainly just likes whatevers popular. He probably enjoys songs off of Tik Tok and is that annoying kid that plays meme music over and over. All Star by Smash Mouth is banned from the Cul de Sac because of him. He probably enjoys some soundtracks from video games as well. The type to just blast Revenge by Captain Sparkles for hours.

Kevin: We’ve already established that him and Eddy basically listen to the same thing. Lil Uzi Vert, Xxxtentacion, etc. That kind of thing. He tries especially hard to be cool. He’s definitely that kid with the speakers in his backpack blasting music down the hallway. But like Eddy, he listens to something else when he’s alone. He probably likes 70s and 80s hip hop and a little bit of classic rock because of his dad. Listens to Motley Crue, Def Leppard and Blackstreet. He’s not ashamed of his music taste, but definitely only plays modern rap in the car with the homies.

Nazz: She’s a carefree spirit. She likes old school rap too but appreciates a lot of older stuff. She likes Fleetwood Mac and Queen because of her mom. But she also really likes pop and Jazz. She likes Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys, Bruno Mars, Coldplay, and Rihanna. Probably a big Beyonce stan too. Because shes a free spirit, she’ll listen to anything someone plays. She’ll enjoy heavy metal if someone puts it on or even Country. She doesn’t care. If she likes something she’ll definitely go home and look up more stuff. She probably has the most diverse music taste of them all.

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diarrheaofthekeyboard · 4 years

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Ghosts & Ancestors

9.29.2020

We watched Springsteen on Broadway this weekend, which I had wanted to show my wife for a while. I couldn’t afford to go when he was actually playing and eagerly anticipated the Netflix/audio release. I listened to it 20 minutes at a time on my commute when it first came out. It made me cry a lot for a variety of reasons I will now detail, at least for the first few songs. But first, in my opinion, it’s the best thing he’s ever done and you should watch it. Spoilers below if you haven’t seen it.

I never considered myself much a Springsteen fan. I liked a song here and there but the big 70s production always left me flat. The first album I really liked of his was “The Ghost of Tom Joad” which came out when I was in college. But even still, I’d listen to it a bit and come back to it a few years later. Then in 2005 he did Storytellers and I liked that better because it was just him with a guitar, harmonica, piano, and a couple of microphones. This show is an outgrowth of Storytellers.

On Broadway, Bruce starts out with “Growin’ Up”, in which he tells the story of seeing Elvis on tv in 1956 and getting his first guitar. That guitar could have been the same one my son has (though his was made in 1970). He’s talking about those old Oscar Schmidt and Stella guitars cranked out and sold at five and dime stores. They’ve got a funk to them that’s amazing, in part because of the ladder bracing. They’re objectively terrible instruments that are better for slide than anything else and no child should ever learn to play on one. I’ve started looking at new guitars for the boy because he deserves something that, at the very least, doesn’t suck.

More important than that, Bruce tunes in to a eureka moment. Lightning in a bottle. This is what I want to do and how am I gonna get there? I never had that moment. Or if I did, I was told and told myself that it was out of reach. I believe it’s this moment that started my current feelings of regret, even back 2 years ago while driving to work.

He then starts talking about Freehold, and goes into “My Hometown”. This is a song from the 80s I grew up with and hated, mostly because I hated my hometown. I hated growing up on Long Island and though I liked my dad as a kid, I never felt like he wanted to teach me anything as I got older. There are a few moments here and there but that’s it. When Bruce starts talking about his dad, I lose it. Not because I see that story in my father. I see it in me. His father was depressed and Bruce felt like he spent his entire life proving his worth to his father. His songwriting voice is that voice.

I’m not a songwriter. Good riffs, no words. That’s why this blog exists. I need words. At some point, I’ll go back and edit, and I’m getting there, but I have no penchant for prose. In the last band I fronted, the drummer wrote the lyrics. I would take what he wrote and fit them into the riffs. The direction I gave him was something like “I want observations of the american wasteland”. Which is really what Springsteen does. He just has the vocabulary and the personal perspective to write it. I never got that from the drummer. I got some ok stuff I could work with and some lyrics KISS would have rejected. Our last song was never completed because I took lyrics from different things he wrote and put them together. He hated it because those words meant different things to him and the concepts clashed. I liked it because who he was writing about didn’t matter. He never told me anyway. I constructed a new story out of them. It was cool. Too bad we never got to play it for people. If I could do that with my own work, I think I could have something.

When Bruce talks about his mother, there are a bunch of things that hit me about both parents. First, I feel like he’s singing about his parents the way my son would sing about me and his mother. I’m the depressed dad, and even though I’m doing my best to be engaged with him and not be checked out, at some point he’s going to realize my depression. Conversely, the way Bruce talks about his mom is my wife. She’s full of life and optimism and putting the best she can into him and out into the world.

Later on, Bruce talks about a time when his father came to visit him long after he’d been established and living in California. And his father gave him an apology of sorts which Bruce recognized for what it was and accepted. And in that story, he gives a name to something I’ve talked about many times. He says, “you can be a ghost or you can be an ancestor”. I have never put it that way, but it clicked for me. My parents put the ghosts of their past onto me and my siblings, especially my mother. All of their troubles, all of their phobias, all of their insecurities. I don’t want to do that to my son. First off, there’s only him. He doesn’t have anyone to share the burden with. It will only get more difficult as we age. But even if he did, that’s just not fair. The cycle has to end. It’s my job, and maybe if we have a purpose in life that’s why I’m here, to break it. To free him of the ghosts of the past and show him the wisdom of ancestors instead.

My problem is I have no wisdom of my own ancestors. I only have the wisdom of books and records. My parents aren’t philosophical people. I can’t “think of what my daddy said” like Warren Haynes because my dad never said that shit. There was no wisdom passed down through grandfathers or elders or whatever. It’s my own bullshit, guiding me through, trying to piece it all together. And again, it’s not like my dad wasn’t there. He did and still does his best. He’s just a practical guy who doesn’t have much to say.

On one hand, that makes me somewhat of a self made man. That is something to be proud of. On the other, it’s what my therapist tapped into, how I’m “codependent” but not to one specific person. The last thing of note she really said was that I was codependent to my inner critic, which operated something like a guiding light. That’s decently insightful.

The problem is my inner critic guided me further into anxiety and depression. So I look for inspirational people who can be like a big brother to me, to find that guidance. I have to find that inside of me. That’s the hard part. I need to embody Warren’s dad. I need to connect the dots on my successes instead of my failures. I don’t need to make my own ancestors. That’s delusional. I need to be an ancestor to my son. Because “boy in this darkness before the dawn you’ve got to let your soulshine”. I need to stop singing these songs to myself and sing them to him.

My fear is I’ll just change my codependence from my inner critic to my son. Hopefully I can find a new therapist and explore that. I think I’ve got a good start on it. But I could use someone to help me flesh it out. I may or may not need a collaborator. One sure would be helpful though.

#bruce springsteen #broadway #warren haynes #soulshine #hometown #ghosts #ancestors #tom joad #elvis #oscar schmidt #stella #codependent #inner critic #kiss #storytellers #diarrhea #keyboard

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johns-prince · 4 years

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I have a sort of weird McLennon AU idea: Reincarnated!John

I got the idea from reading this interview with Paul McCartney, where he claims if he had been a girl he could have maybe gone out and fought for John to keep their very close relationship and prevent Yoko from essentially “stealing,” John away.

Then I got to thinking, well, what if, instead, John had been the girl? Which then lead to me connecting it too-- well, what if when John had been killed, on Dec. 8th, a little girl had also been born. Basically, John’s soul being reincarnated as a female.

A little girl born a few hours after John Lennon was assassinated, December 8th, 1980, in a hospital in Liverpool England, named Joan Winifred Stanley. Jo, or JoJo for short.

Now while this girl has John’s soul, heart, mind, and similarities feminized-- Joan is still an individual, with her own childhood and memories-- who’s growing up in the 80s, and is a lively, young, and lovely teenage girl in the beginning of the 90s. Her favorite rocker is Joan Jett, likes Blondie, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Bob Marley, Michael Jackson, and has a secret love for Elvis Presley... knows of the Beatles, but only see’s the band and their music as “alright, sort of antwacky.” though her mom fancies them.

Joan has fiery auburn colored hair which reaches some past her shoulders, wavy and thick, can often be a big birds nest of a mess. Milk chocolate brown eyes that appear to have specks of amber when the sunlight hits them; while softened with heavy lashes, are burning and alert, a glare could possibly kill someone. Poor eyesight, hates wearing her glasses because she thinks they make her look like a total lame.

[reference to what sort of glasswear her eyes required and the style of them]

5′5″, thiccc thighs, perky but rather small breasts, wide hips. Noticeable jawline and chin, though softened with baby fat, high cheekbones, sharp aquiline nose, bottom lip plumper than the top. Top two front teeth are crooked, slightly turned inward. It’s hard for me to describe her hairstyle during the very start of the 90s, so it’s something like this since she is an 80s child and for most of her young teens was in the crowd so;

See now, this is what I have for female John / Joan as far of what her face and hair may look like;

****[It’s still sort of rough, I know, I need to ink her in and then color her before I wanna show the full reference drawing. I honestly want to try and give her a bit more of a wider jawline, or a bit longer of a face-- but again, Joan is still her own person so she can’t look exactly like John, of course]

Sagittarius[John was a Libra], smoker of Luckies, musically inclined [perhaps sounds like a mix of Deborah Harry and Joan Jett? Though more nasally] loves to sing, learned to play acoustic guitar from her mother, and learned to play the harmonica from her grandda [the one good thing he had given to her as their relationship was generally soured since her mother’s parents saw her as nothing more than a bastard child] Could be considered a bit tomboyish but knows how to use her feminine wiles to manipulate, humiliate, and get what she wants. Tries not to be a horrible rebel as she hates to disappoint and stress out her mother, but can be a wild child and has a bit of an issue with authority and respecting rules and requests she deems unnecessarily stupid. Single child raised under a single mother as her father was never in the picture, and while her mothers’ parents were around they barely helped, so they lived in the manner of “we manage.” Coming from Liverpool, and in the poor-working class of society, her mannerisms of speaking are indeed Scouse.

Hot tempered, jealous/possessive of close friends and crush/lover, quick wit and sharp tongued, masks hurt with indifference and practically ghosting someone til she gets over it or they apologize adequately. Wants to love and own people, but does NOT want to be owned or tied down as it makes her feel caged. Freedom of self is incredibly important to her, and feeling like she’s losing it can cause her to act out and lash out.

Now, in the early 1990s, I believe Paul is around the age of 49/50. This might be just me projecting, but that makes Paul the legit Daddy in this whole thing, if ya catch my drift. Paul is, in my humble opinion, rather attractive and handsome in his late forties/early fifties. So yeah, silver fox Paul is gonna be a thing.

I have a thing for older men, alright? Let me project just a little bit here in my own AU.

I really haven’t thought much on how these two end up meeting, perhaps they meet during Paul’s World Tour during 1990? Again, Joan knows of the Beatles, and knows of Paul McCartney-- begrudgingly she does like a bit of his music-- but hadn’t the money, nor the greatest of utmost desire as many of her other female friends had, to get into to see him when he stopped in Liverpool. She thought it to be neat, but could live without seeing him.

But fate would lead to the two of them meeting, in probably an unexpected sort of way.

Anyways, right away Paul get’s this extremely strange vibe from this girl, this girl who watches him, squinting up at him, with such interest-- and despite being a well known [legendary] and talented musician, and veteran of the music industry, he suddenly feels like he’s been thrown back to the very first day he’d met the scruffy and polar opposite, John Lennon. He finds himself wanting to impress this young bird, because he feels as if despite all his credentials, they mean nothing at this very moment, and he’s stupidly nervous around some girl he had just happened to bump into [because she’s a young bird perhaps?? with burning brown eyes and a quirked, teasing mouth that reminded him of someone???], and it’s like being back to square one of having to prove himself, of his talent and passion, and in the end, the two appear to be sizing each other up, circling like predators do with prey. It’s a painful comparison when he realizes it, realizes how far this whole interaction threw him back, back into memories and feelings he had long since tried to bury, as not cry and mourn over each day.

It’s her who tries to end the first encounter, because she also gets this awfully weird aura from this old rock n’ roller, but she has no memories to connect it too. It leaves her feeling frustrated, because she really can’t find any rhyme or reason to why she feels this way, why she feels that this isn’t their first time interacting. Despite being an older man, she can’t help but think he looks rather good, and while she can’t put her finger on it again, she thinks that if Elvis had lived to be a bit older, he’d look something like this McCartney fellow. And while she tries to hide it, act indifferent and barely moved that she’s talking to the Paul McCartney, she does feel a bit starstruck, and so she simply wants to end this and keep it as a personal, favorite memory that she may recount to her friends and mother, who’ll probably think she’s just bullshittin’.

But when she attempts to leave, again this McCartney man, who insists that she call him Paul, catches her attention with a light grasp of her arm and stops her instantly. He’s quick to drop the hand the moment she whips her head around, shooting daggers at where he had touched her, then to staring right into his eyes. Paul isn’t sure why he’s doing this, why he feels like he needs to see this girl again, but as an excuse, he claims that it’s been awhile since he’s been back in Liverpool, and so, perhaps-- perhaps she could be the one to show him about. It’s a pitiful attempt of avoiding that he simply wants to meet up with this girl again-- and Joan rolls her eyes and breathes out an amused laugh at such a poor front.

“Aren't I a blind bit too young fe you?” Joan would say, and while the words are obviously a dig, a tease, Paul can’t help but feel as if she had slapped him, his face growing hot and red. Tries to explain, sputtering, almost insulted, that “No-- I mean, yes, I mean, I am not--” and Joan, at first with a relatively flat expression, raises an eyebrow and slowly a smirk begins to form as she watches Paul, the Paul McCartney, fluster and stutter about like the awkward teen boys she knows and have shot down. “Am jus’ skitt'n,” Joan would give in with smile and a laugh, that caused Paul goosebumps and his stomach to lurch, because while softer and higher pitched, reminded him of someone, someone once closer than close.

“A’rite Sir Paul, I'll indulge you.” and so, while she reasons it’s to just be nice this old rocker who probably hasn’t seen a young groupie in some time, she makes it appear she’s writing down her address or phone number on his hand-- and before she makes her get away, Paul would point out she hadn’t officially given her name to him-- “No manners these kids,” Paul might tease, and the auburn haired girl, with a smile that reached her eyes and showcased her nearly straight pearlies, told him her name was Joan, Joan Winifred Stanley, to be precise. Without giving him a chance to respond to it, she bid him farewell with a playful two fingered salute-- and for a breathless moment, Paul swore he had seen John there, just for a split second.

When he finally gets himself grounded and doesn’t feel so hot anymore, he discovers that she hadn’t written her number down, nor even an address-- just simply a street name; Menlove Avenue. If he’s so interested in continuing their little encounter, he could just go up and down the street, was her reasoning. She didn’t believe he’d go through such trouble to find her again-- anyway, he’s touring, and he has a wife and kids. Weird for a man his age to want to what, make friends with a barely 18 year old bird from old dingy Liverpool? A nobody, Joan would think, almost bitterly.

I’m still putting a lot of thought into this AU, so a lot of things can change and such, especially the idea behind how Joan/John and Paul meet and begin to interact more regularly, how their relationship starts and builds and grows and changes, and of course how it might end [I’m fiddling with the idea that Joan ends up dying too, but that’s a bit too angst-y for me to really focus on so]

Of course because I’m a fucking degenerate, I would like to have a moment where the two do end up having an intense affair-- though it’s just sensitive because, despite being not real at all, I want to give some respect to Linda and his kids around that time too, because I know Paul loves them dearly. So this AU is obviously full of fucking angst-y and complication and slow burn and miscommunication.

I can’t even have my cake and eat it too in my OWN FUCKING AU. Typical.

And yeah, there’s gonna be a noticeable age-gap in this AU, so if that’s not your thing, then that’s fine. There is gonna be a lot of coming of age shit attached to that, a bit of daddy kink, Joan having obvious daddy issues [John most likely had legit mommy issues let’s be real], first times, you name it.

In the AU, Paul is slowly going to come to the outlandish idea/theory that this girl is John, or at least John’s soul reincarnated. He can’t help it-- she reminds him of John too much, it’s eerie how alike the two are that they might as well be the same person. Paul knows he must be crazy for thinking it, and hates it because it makes him feel as if he’s gone completely obsessed over John, the idea of John still being here with him.

I will include an appearance from George and Ringo, with maybe Ringo trying to tell Paul that perhaps this is his way of handling the absence of John, and Paul, trying to justify himself, partially agrees. George ends up meeting this girl, and can’t help but agree that Paul may be right, just maybe, because even George can’t deny this girl reminds him of John too, and gives off this aura that is unmistakably John. Ringo thinks both of them are daft sods, but when Ringo meets Joan, he also finds himself seeing John in her-- though Ringo never voices it. But George is careful to not agree with Paul out loud, worried it might encourage Paul in an unhealthy and potentially dangerous way.

That is, will Paul confront Joan about this and finally tell her that he believes she is John reincarnated? Paul wants too, he wants to tell her, but he’s not stupid, he knows it would probably freak the girl out and cause their budding relationship to instantly crumble and die. But whenever Paul talks about John to her once they’ve gotten close enough that he’s comfortable to divulge such intimate stories and memories about his best mate, Joan’s face would become pensive, almost a far-away look in her eyes, and would begin to comment on how she swears she’s heard these stories before, or that something even similar had happened to her to which had happened to John [even though many of the stories are personal, and kept rather private, so how would she know???]

But Joan would simply shrug off those feelings of Deja Vu, laugh and shake her head, and just move on. She didn’t like getting those feelings, like she should have memory of something but just doesn’t.

Excerpts from a fanfic I’ll never write:

It’s a mess, really. Paul falling for this young lively bird with a mean wit and soft lips and squinting eyes that desperately needed glasses, which still managed to observe and could kill someone in the heat of an argument. A girl with auburn hair that tickled his cheeks whenever they’d hug, a girl with a memorable nose, a girl who smelt of ciggies and Liverpool and vanilla and home. “You’ve got kaleidoscope eyes,” Paul would try one afternoon, sounding like a young awkward teen again trying to impress a young but experienced girl. Joan would turn those fiery eyes to him, squinting, turning to an unimpressed glower that didn’t match the flustered smile. “Sod off, old man,” Joan would reply, snubbing him as she would do, though the smile still betrayed her.

Paul would fall, fall and fall, like Alice, except there would be no floor to catch him. He would fall for Joan, because he fell for John. It’s a mess, really-- because as things escalated, Paul’s love for Joan and John began to blend and blur, and it was bad because who did Paul really love? Joan, the wild young thing who could tear him down just as easily as build him up in the same sentence and look, or John-- who could do the same but ten times over, and had. Joan though, Joan was putting pieces back together that he had tried to bury long ago, pieces that John had left the day of December 8th.

“I’m not John,” Joan would say, blunt and straight, cigarette clenched between her teeth. Paul feeling as if the air had been sucked out of his lungs, sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. “I’m Joan,” she’d continue mercilessly, taking a long drag of the fag before ripping it from between her lips, smoke swirling out between the cruel words of reality. “I’m not some catalyst for your best mate, for whatever you and him had.” Joan’s young face twisted angrily, her eyes filled with dark hurt as she glared at the old rock and roller before her. For a second, Paul saw John again, John with his sneer and his burning glare and his words of knives that dared Paul to say something back, to engage him in war. It made Paul sick, all of it. He opened his mouth to argue, to protest what she was saying, what she was claiming has been happening all these months. But he can’t, because it’s true, it’s all true, and it burns his insides up. “You love John, and, and I’m not John,” she’d say, voice cracking as she can’t hide the hurt that comes from finally speaking these truths, bringing them to the light. Her face looks broken, tears threatening to break just as her voice had-- cigarette forgotten between two delicate fingers.

When Paul could find his voice, all that could be said was the girl’s name, soft and almost like a plea; “Joan.” “Don’t,” she’d bite back like a cornered animal, lip curling in disgust from just hearing her name come from those lips that had practically seared marks along her body. But Paul didn’t, he couldn’t stop, he’d still try-- tried reaching out towards her, a hand going to grasp at her free hand by her side, but all he got was grazing the tips of his fingers to the back of hers before she whipped her hand away, body following the violent motion as she stepped back, away. Those eyes, it’s like she wanted to kill him, especially as that had broken the dam and now her cheeks were wet and she was trying not to hyperventilate and finally she dropped the cigarette as her hands began to quiver. “I don’t want to hold your hand anymore! don’t you get it?” she might as well have slapped him, stabbed him, but Paul truly believed those things would have hurt less than what she had just said to him.

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to read all this bullshit lol I’m really invested in this AU, and so expect more of it. I will be posting the full drawing of Joan once it’s finished, or I can’t bring myself to work on it anymore and thus claim it’s finished to the best of my abilities lol

#mclennon #mclennon au #mclennon fic idea #I've put both too much and no thought into this #this is long so brace yourselves #reincarnated au

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hlupdate · 5 years

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A handshake can quell political unrest and stifle impending war. It can, with a bit of spit, validate a gentleman’s agreement, end a years-long romantic relationship or send a young heart racing. But it all depends on the two parties involved.

Daisy, 21, felt a seismic jolt when Harry Styles, 25, wearing a striped jumper and rings on three of his five fingers, clutched her hand two days after this year’s Met Gala in New York, when she served him gelato at the shop where she worked.

“He decided on a small mint chocolate gelato and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ‘Can I just say I absolutely loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCKING EXTENDED HISHAND AND REACHED TO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTUALLY FUCKINGSHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THE FUCK,” she wrote on Instagram after The Shakening. “Like I didn’t even say anything to gas him up besides ‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HUMAN BEINGTHAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW [sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

For Harry Styles, a handshake can be a romantic gesture, conjuring a potent reverence in its recipient, like the time he met Gucci’s creative director Alessandro Michele. “He was as attractive as James Dean and as persuasive as Greta Garbo. He was like a Luchino Visconti character, like an Apollo: at the same time sexy as a woman, as a kid, as a man,” Michele told me, hastening to add: “Of course, Harry is not aware of this.”

No, Styles has no idea the power he wields. In person, he’s towering, like someone who is not that much taller but whose reputation adds four inches. Styles has a sedative baritone, spoken in a rummy northern English accent, that tumbles out so slowly you forget the name of your first born, a swagger that has been nursed and perfected in mythical places with names like Paisley Park, or Abbey Road, or Graceland. Makes complete sense that he would be up for the role of Elvis Presley in Baz Luhrmann’s upcoming biopic. He was primed, nay, born to shake his hips, all but one button on his shirt clinging for dear life around his torso. Then the part was awarded to another actor, Austin Butler.

“[Elvis] was such an icon for me growing up,” Styles tells me. “There was something almost sacred about him, almost like I didn’t want to touch him. Then I ended up getting into [his life] a bit and I wasn’t disappointed,” he adds of his initial research and preparations to play The King. He seems relaxed about losing the part to Butler. “I feel like if I’m not the right person for the thing, then it’s best for both of us that I don’t do it, you know?”

Styles released his self-titled debut solo album in May 2017. The boyband grad was clearly uninterested in hollowing out the charts with more formulaic meme pop. Instead, to the surprise of many, he dug his heels into retro-fetishist West Coast ’70s rock. Some of the One Direction fan-hordes might have been confused, but no matter: Harry Styles sold one million copies.

Despite its commercial and critical success, he didn’t tour the album right away. He wanted to act in the Christopher Nolan film Dunkirk. To his credit, his portrayal of a British soldier cowering in a moored boat on the French beaches as the Nazis advanced wasn’t skewered in the press like the movie debuts of, say, Madonna or Justin Timberlake. Perhaps he was following advice given by Elton John, who had urged him to diversify. “He was brilliant in Dunkirk, which took a lot of people by surprise,” John writes in an email. “I love how he takes chances and risks.” Acting, unlike music, is a release for Styles; it’s the one time he can be not himself.

“Why do I want to act? It’s so different to music for me,” he says, suddenly animated. “They’re almost opposite for me. Music, you try and put so much of yourself into it; acting, you’re trying to totally disappear in whoever you’re being.”

Following the news that he missed out on Presley, his name was floated for the role of Prince Eric in Disney’s live-action remake of The Little Mermaid. However, fans will have to wait a bit longer to see Styles on the big screen as that idea, too, has sunk. He won’t be The King or the Prince. “It was discussed,” he acknowledges before swiftly changing the subject. “I want to put music out and focus on that for a while. But everyone involved in it was amazing, so I think it’s going to be great. I’ll enjoy watching it, I’m sure.”

The new album is wrapped and the single is decided upon. “It’s not like his last album,” his friend, rock ‘n’ roll legend Stevie Nicks, told me recently over the phone. “It’s not like anything One Direction ever did. It’s pure Harry, as Harry would say. He’s made a very different record and it’s spectacular.”

Beyond that, Styles is keeping his cards close to his chest as to his next musical move. However, the air is thick with rumours that his main wingman for HS2 is Kid Harpoon, aka Tom Hull, who co-wrote debut album track Sweet Creature. No less an authority than Liam Gallagher told us that both big band escapees were in the same studio – RAK in north-west London – at the same time making their second solo albums. Styles played him a couple of tracks, “and I tell you what, they’re good,” Gallagher enthused. “A bit like that Bon Iver. Is that his name?”

Harry Styles met Nicks at a Fleetwood Mac concert in Los Angeles in April 2015. Something about him felt authentic to the legendary frontwoman: grounded, like she’d known him forever, blessed with a winning moonshot grin. A month later, they met backstage at another Mac gig, this time at the O2 in London. Styles brought a carrot cake for Nicks’ birthday, her name piped in icing on top. By her own admission, Nicks doesn’t even celebrate birthdays, so this was a surprise. “He was personally responsible for me actually having to celebrate my birthday, which was very sweet,” she says.

Styles’ relationship with Nicks is hard to define. Inducting her into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in New York as a solo artist earlier this year, his speech hymned her as a “magical gypsy godmother who occupies the in-between”. She’s called him her “lovechild” with Mick Fleetwood and the “son I never had”. Both have moved past the preliminary chat acknowledging each other’s unquantifiable talents and smoothly accelerated towards playful cut-and-thrust banter of a witch mom and her naughty child.

They perform together – he sings The Chainand Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one allegedly written about Taylor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those performances was at the Gucci Cruise afterparty in Rome in May, for “a lot of money”, Nicks tells me, in a “big kind of castle place”. She has become his de facto mentor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequencing (“She is really good at track listing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voices… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Following another Fleetwood Mac concert, at London’s Wembley Stadium, in June, Nicks met Styles for a late (Indian) dinner. He then invited her back to his semi-detached Georgian mansion in north London for a listening party at midnight. The album – HS2or whatever it’ll be called – was finished. Nicks, her assistant Karen, her make-up artist and her friends Jess and Mary crammed onto Styles’ living-room couch. They listened to it once through in silence like a “bunch of educated monks or something in this dark room”. Then once again, 15 or 16 tracks, this time each of his guests offering live feedback. It wrapped at 5am, just as the sun was bleeding through the curtains.

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, pressing “play” on a deeply personal work for your hero to digest, watching her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

“It’s a double-edged thing,” he replies. “You’re always nervous when you are playing people music for the first time. You’ve heard it so much by this point, you forget that people haven’t heard it before. It’s hard to not feel like you’ve done what you’ve set out to do. You are happy with something and then someone who you respect so much and look up to is, like: ‘I really like this.’ It feels like a large stamp [of approval]. It’s a big step towards feeling very comfortable with whatever else happens to it.”

Wading through Styles’ background info is exhausting, since he was spanked by fame in the social media era where every goddam blink of a kohl-rimmed eye has been documented from six angles. (And yes, he does sometimes wear guyliner.)

Deep breath: born in Redditch, Worcestershire, to parents Des and Anne, who divorced when he was seven. Grew up in Holmes Chapel in Cheshire with his sister Gemma, mum and stepdad Robin Twist. Rode horses at a nearby stable for free (“I was a bad rider, but I was a rider”). Stopped riding, “got into different stuff”. Formed a band, White Eskimo, with schoolmates. Aged 16, tried out for the 2010 run of The X Factorwith a stirring but average rendition of Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely. Cut from the show and put into a boy band with four others, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, and called One Direction. Became internationally famous, toured the globe. Zayn quit to go solo. Toured some more. Dated but maybe didn’t date Caroline Flack, Rita Ora and Taylor Swift – whom he reportedly dumped in the British Virgin Islands. (This relationship, if nothing else, yielded an iconic, candid shot of Swift looking dejected, being motored back to shore on the back of a boat called the Flying Ray.) One Direction discussed disbanding in 2014, actually dissolved in 2015. They remain friendly, and Styles officially went solo in 2016.

It’s been two years since his eponymous debut and lead single, Sign of the Times, shocked the world and Elton John with its swaggering, soft rock sound. “It came out of left field and I loved it,” John says.

After 89 arena-packed shows across five continents grossed him, the label, whomever, over $61 million, Styles had all but disappeared. He has emerged only intermittently for public-facing events – a Gucci afterparty performance here, a Met Gala co-chairing there. He relocated from Los Angeles back to London, selling his Hollywood Hills house for $6million and shipping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. “My relationship with LAchanged a lot. What I wanted from LA changed.”

A great escape, he would agree, is sometimes necessary. He was in Tokyo for most of January, having nearly finished his album. “I needed time to get out of that album frame-of-mind of: ‘Is it finished? Where am I at? What’s happening?’ I really needed that time away from everyone. I was kind of just in Tokyo by myself.” His sabbatical mostly involved reading Haruki Murakami’s The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, singing Nirvana at karaoke, writing alone in his hotel room, listening to music and eavesdropping on strangers in alien conversation. “It was just a positive time for my head and I think that impacted the album in a big way.”

During this break he watched a lot of films, read a lot of books. Sometimes he texts these recommendations to his pal Michele at Gucci. He told Michele to watch the Ali Macgraw film, Love Story. “We text what friends text about. He is the same [as me] in terms of he lives in his own world and he does his own thing. I love dressing up and he loves dressing up.”

Because he loves dressing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Gucci Tailoring campaigns and of its new genderless fragrance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

“The moment I met him, I immediately understood there was something strong around him,” Michele tells me. “I realised he was much more than a young singer. He was a young man, dressed in a thoughtful way, with uncombed hair and a beautiful voice. I thought he gathered within himself the feminine and the masculine.”

Fashion, for Styles, is a playground. Something he doesn’t take too seriously. A couple of years ago Harry Lambert, his stylist since 2015, acquired for him a pair of pink metallic Saint Laurent boots that he has never been photographed wearing. They are exceedingly rare – few pairs exist. Styles wears them “to get milk”. They are, in his words, “super-fun”. He’s not sure, but he has, ballpark, 50 pairs of shoes, as well as full closets in at least three postcodes. He settles on an outfit fairly quickly, maybe changes his T-shirt once before heading out, but mostly knows what he likes.

What he may not fully comprehend is that simply by being photographed in a garment he can spur the career of a designer, as he has with Harris Reed, Palomo Spain, Charles Jeffrey, Alled-Martínez and a new favourite, Bode. Styles wore a SS16 Gucci floral suit to the 2015 American Music Awards. When he was asked who made his suit on the red carpet, Gucci began trending worldwide on Twitter.

“It was one of the first times a male wore Alessandro’s runway designs and, at the time, men were not taking too many red carpet risks,” says Lambert. “Who knows if it influenced others, but it was a special moment. Plus, it was fun seeing the fans dress up in suits to come see Harry’s shows.”

Yet traditional gender codes of dress still have the minds of middle America in a chokehold. Men can’t wear women’s clothes, say the online whingers, who have labelled him “tragic”, “a clown” and a Bowie wannabe. Styles doesn’t care. “What’s feminine and what’s masculine, what men are wearing and what women are wearing – it’s like there are no lines any more.”

Elton John agrees: “It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Harry has the same qualities.”

Then there is the question of Styles’ sexuality, something he has admittedly “never really started to label”, which will plague him until he does. Perhaps it’s part of his allure. He’s brandished a pride flag that read “Make America Gay Again” on stage, and planted a stake somewhere left of centre on sexuality’s rainbow spectrum.

“In the position that he’s in, he can’t really say a lot, but he chose a queer girl band to open for him and I think that speaks volumes,” Josette Maskin of the queer band MUNA told The Face earlier this year.

“I get a lot of…” Styles trails off, wheels turning on how he can discuss sexuality without really answering. “I’m not always super-outspoken. But I think it’s very clear from choices that I make that I feel a certain way about lots of things. I don’t know how to describe it. I guess I’m not…” He pauses again, pivots. “I want everyone to feel welcome at shows and online. They want to be loved and equal, you know? I’m never unsupported, so it feels weird for me to overthink it for someone else.”

Sexuality aside, he must acknowledge that he has sex appeal. “The word ‘sexy’ sounds so strange coming out of my mouth. So I would say that that’s probably why I would not consider myself sexy.”

Harry Styles has emerged fully-formed, an anachronistic rock star, vague in sensibility but destined to impress with a disarming smile and a warm but firm handshake.

I recite to him a quote from Chrissie Hynde of The Pretenders about her time atop rock’s throne: “I never got into this for the money or because I wanted to join in the superstar sex around the swimming pools. I did it because the offer of a record contract came along and it seemed like it might be more fun than being a waitress. Now, I’m not so sure.”

Styles – who worked in a bakery in a small northern town some time before playing to 40,000 screaming fans in South American arenas – must have witnessed some shit, been invited to a few poolside sex parties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a couple of things,” he nods in agreement. “But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

#harry styles #the face #050919

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stylesnews · 5 years

Text

The Face - Volume 4 . Issue 1

“He decided on a small mint chocolate gelato and I made his and the one for his friend and I said, ‘Can I just say I absolutely loved your Met Gala look’ and he said ‘Thank you very much! What’s your name?’ And I said, ‘Daisy’ AND HE FUCKING EXTENDED HIS HAND AND REACHEDTO SHAKE MY HAND AND I ACTUALLY FUCKING SHOOK HIS HAND WHAT THEFUCK,” she wrote on Instagram after The Shakening. “Like I didn’t even say anything to gas him up besides ‘I loved your met gala look’ and his fine ass went and shook my hand! WHATA BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THAT HE IS GOD BLESS HIM AND I HOPE HW[sic] LIVES FOREVER.”

They perform together – he sings The Chain and Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around; she sings the one allegedly written about Taylor Swift, Two Ghosts. One of those performances was at the Gucci Cruise afterparty in Rome in May, for “a lot of money”, Nicks tells me, in a “big kind of castle place”. She has become his de facto mentor – one phone call is all it takes to reach the Queen of Rock’n’Roll for advice on sequencing (“She is really good at track listing,” Styles admits) or just to hear each other’s voices… because, well, wouldn’t you?

Even for a pop star of Styles’ stature, pressing “play” on a deeply personal work for your hero to digest, watching her face react in real time to your new music, must be… what?

After 89 arena-packed shows across five continents grossed him, the label, whomever, over $61million, Styles had all but disappeared. He has emerged only intermittently for public-facing events – a Gucci afterparty performance here, a Met Gala co-chairing there. He relocated from Los Angeles back to London, selling his Hollywood Hills house for $6 million and shipping his Jaguar E-type across the Atlantic so he could take joyrides on the M25.

“I’m not over LA,” he insists when I ask about the move. “My relationship with LA changed a lot. What I wanted from LA changed.”

Because he loves dressing up, Michele chose Styles to be the face of three Gucci Tailoring campaigns and of its new genderless fragrance, Mémoire d’une Odeur.

Elton John agrees: “It worked for Marc Bolan, Bowie and Mick. Harry has the same qualities.”

Harry Styles has emerged fully-formed, an anachronistic rock star, vague in sensibility but destined to impress with a disarming smile and a warm but firm handshake.

Styles – who worked in a bakery in a small northern town some time before playing to 40,000screaming fans in South American arenas – must have witnessed some shit, been invited to a few poolside sex parties, in his time.

“I’ve seen a couple of things,” he nods in agreement. “But I’m still young. I feel like there’s still stuff to see.”

#theface19 #harry styles #sep19 #article

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irwinkitten · 5 years

Note

Laura I need daddy!ash finding out that you’re expecting a baby

For your new dad!Ash series, what about the daughter getting a sibling? I reckon that would be so freaking cute

for the daddy!ash series i would love to see ash talking to you about having a child of your own together!!!!

UAHSJSJSS ash and y/n dining out shes pregnant??? and trying to explain to princess shes getting a brother or sister im CRYINGG

Yo,,,,,,sooooo dad!ash finding out that you’re expecting a baby together. And you’re kind of scared because how is princess going to react? Is Ashton going to leave like Jamie did?

IF ASH AND BABY MAMA DON’t end having their own kid I’ll hate you forever!! Okay I wouldn’t hate you, but would very much curse Ashton never to wear red again.

ok but daddy ash getting a surprise from y/n and shes expecting and they have to explain to princess that shes getting a new brother/sister :-)

listen i am soft as fuck so i’m coming for ur hearts. 2.5k of fluff fluff and fluff.

masterlist is linked in the source

this is part eighteen

—

As you went around the various people, unable to let go of Anne for more than three seconds in amazed disbelief that he’d flown them all the way out to LA for this, your little girl was animatedly chatting with Cal, sat on his shoulders as she described how she helped Ashton pick out your ring.

“He took such a big risk getting all of you out here to celebrate a potential engagement.” You hummed to Anne whilst the two of you stood in the kitchen, away from the chaos. Ashton was in the lounge his laughter ringing clear through to the kitchen.

You smiled.

“When you’re sure about someone, you know it’s going to be a yes. The last time I saw him so sure of something was when they decided to really try it as a band. When we met both of you for the first time, and I saw how he interacted with you and the family, I could see how he fell in love so quickly with the both of you.” Your cheeks flushed a dark shade as you felt the tears build up.

“If it’s any consolation, the way you’ve accepted both of us, it means the world to me. You’ve made more of an effort than my own family, the same with the boys and it’s so overwhelming and I shouldn’t be crying.” You laughed as you wiped the tears that had fallen.

Anne wiped her own as she pulled you in for another hug, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as she pulled away.

“It’ll be official soon enough, and I look forward to officially welcoming a new daughter and granddaughter to the family. Even when said granddaughter already calls me her nana.”

Almost as if she were called, Calum entered the kitchen with her sat atop his shoulders, a beaming grin on her lips.

“Look at the two of you!” Your phone was out fast as you snapped a photo of the two of them. Calum laughed.

“Nana! Uncle Cal helped me be taller than daddy!” You both giggled a Calum helped her down so she could give Anne a hug.

“You alright?” Calum’s voice was quiet as the two of you watched her wrap her arms around Anne’s waist and lean her head back, talking a mile a minute to Anne. To Anne’s credit, she nodded in the right places.

“Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely loving this, and thank you so much.” You leaned up, kissing his cheek. He smirked, throwing an arm over your shoulder as he squeezed you tightly.

“Hey, you’re officially family now.”

“Not till the wedding.” Calum shrugged.

“Your munchkin made us family the day she called Ashton her dad. And there was the pang once more, the wish for your mom to be there to witness it.

“I just—I sometimes wish my family didn’t turn their backs on me when I found out I was pregnant. She’d have been spoiled rotten. They would have loved Ashton.” The hitch in your voice caused him to pull you outside, Anne craftily distracting your daughter so you could escape unnoticed.

Pulling you into a tight hug, you allowed the tears to fall, just for a few moments.

It was times like these, big milestones in both of your lives that you wished you could share with your family.

But they’d taken the route of turning their backs on you when you had announced your pregnancy. Your mom had been a staunch supporter, especially after your little girl was born. The rest of the family actively ignored you both.

It was only when you’d come home to find your mom in tears, did you learn why they’d cut you off completely.

“They think that you were too influenced by a single parent. Should’ve married someone who would’ve treated you right enough to teach you family values. Said our line was cursed, single parents out of all of us.”

You’d called them that day, screaming about how dare they take their so called beliefs and turn their backs. But they’d come back with crueller insults.

As you pulled away from Cal, he wiped the few remaining tears from your cheeks and you sighed.

“Better?” You snorted at that.

“Not really. I miss my mom. I wish my family weren’t such dicks. I’m surprised they haven’t come knocking yet.”

“What would you do if they did?”

“Honestly? Tell them to get bent. I found a new family in Shay and Marc, in you guys, with Ashton. I’m good.” He grinned before glancing up as the backdoor opened.

“Everything okay?” You turned to see Ashton, holding your daughter on his hip, smiles on both of their faces.

“Yeah, we’re good.” You returned the smiles with ease and Calum gave you another soft squeeze before heading to the backdoor.

You watched in amusement as your daughter reached for him and he lucked her from Ashton’s arms.

“C’mon cuddlebug, I think it’s time we try to beat Uncle Mike at Mario Kart. You wanna help me?” You could hear your daughter cheering as the door shut, muting the sounds inside as Ashton moved closer to you.

“I know you said you were good, but was that for her sake or mine?” His lips met yours in a soft kiss and it hit you that you were the lucky sod that got to marry this man.

“Just, slightly maudlin over family stuff.” Ashton sighed, his fingers lifting up, gently tracing down the side of your cheek. You leaned into his touch with a small smile.

“I hate that they did such a thing. I know it happened before I met you, but as good as you are lying to your daughter, you’re not that good with me.”

This caused you some soft laughter before he pulled out his pulled out his phone. You watched as he stuck on a playlist of soft songs before taking your hands within his.

“Dance with me?” You could feel your heartbeat pick up a little before it settled once more, a feeling of content washing over you as you slow danced with him.

“So I’m an open book to you, huh?” You teased playfully as your bodies moved slowly to the music.

“Not all the time. I think I’ve got it nailed down close though. Whenever she does something, your eyes are full of joy, but your smile isn’t all there sometimes. Especially her big milestones. Don’t think I didn’t hear you crying after her first day of school.” You knew that the comment held nothing but love behind those words.

“She’s growing up so fast Ash, and I’m scared that when she’s ready to leave, I won’t be ready for her to go.” His lips pressed against your forehead as the two of you swayed.

“I can’t offer great advice because I’ve only entered her life when she was already starting to grow up and when my siblings were growing up, I was already on tour and out of the house.” The two of you traded small laughs.

“I just, I want her to stay this age. Where she wants her days with us, and her uncles. And that Nana is the best thing since sliced bread because she listens like no one else does.” More laughter followed from the two of you.

It was easy to lapse into silence, your head resting on his chest as the two of you danced around the porch. Neither of you noticed the curtain twitching.

As the opening chords of Elvis’ Can’t Help Falling In Love began playing, you found yourself smiling as his head tilted down and he began to sing along softly.

You enjoyed the moment of peace that seemed to wash over the two of you, nothing but you and him, dancing together on Calum’s back porch and him serenading you.

“You best pull out all the stops for the wedding.” You finally murmured and he laughed, his lips meeting yours softly.

“You know I will.”

—

As you adjusted to being engaged, you found yourself almost brimming with a lot more confidence.

It was certainly noticed and appreciated by Ashton, especially on the days where your little girl spent the day with one of her uncles. They were god sends during the summer holidays, especially on the days that Ashton had to be elsewhere and she wasn’t able to tag along.

You’d had a sit down dinner with Shay and Marc to celebrate your engagement.

“So now that you’ve announced to the world that you two are engaged, are there any solid agreements on a wedding date?” The two of you traded small smiles and Marc chuckled.

“This is where they tell us they eloped.” You gave Marc a very scandalised look, prompting both Shay and Ashton to laugh.

“Not eloping, no. But the boys have an album coming out, followed by another world tour. So we’ve been looking at dates and realised that if we get married before or during the tour, it’ll feel like a rushed honeymoon.” You explained and Ashton smiled softly.

“So we figured, we’ve been together this long, why not a little while longer? So we’re looking into dates the following spring.” Ashton explained to the almost bewildered couple.

“So not next spring, but the following spring?” Shay clarified and you nodded. “Well at least they can’t say you’re rushing into the wedding.” This set off a round of laughter.

When you got home later that night, with the promise of another get together with Shay and Marc soon, you took advantage of the quiet house.

Or at least, you were going to until a wave of nausea hit you and had you running to the bathroom, that nights dinner showing up in the toilet bowl.

You knew then that the mood for the night was ruined, giving a pouting look to Ashton after you’d cleaned your teeth and gotten changed.

“It’s rare we get a child free house.” You grumbled at him, making him laugh.

“I know, but if you’re throwing up your dinner, lets not tempt fate, shall we?” And you knew you couldn’t argue with that.

So when you woke up the next morning, long after Ashton had kissed you goodbye, a sudden thought hit you as you scrambled for you phone, checking the health app.

Your period due date had come and gone. And instead of morning sickness when you’d been pregnant the first time around tended to happen in the evening.

“Okay, deep breaths. Buy a few tests, see if you throw up tonight and tomorrow. Once is chance, twice is coincidence. Third time’s a pattern.” A soft pang hit your heart at the words your mom had often told you.

You carried on with your day, locking away the internal panic as you added the pregnancy tests to the grocery run you did.

When you got home, you shoved them in the cabinet under the sink and distracted yourself from the way your thoughts were going.

The process worked until you were throwing up again, and Ashton was running up the stairs in worry.

“Are you sure you don’t have any kind of bug, love?” His fingers pressed a cool, damp cloth to your forehead and you sighed in relief.

“Not too sure. Do you think Mike could keep her another night? If it is a bug, I don’t want her catching it.”

“I’ll text him now. She’ll be overjoyed she gets another night with him.” This made you giggle before the wave of nausea hit and your head was over the toilet bowl once more.

The next day, Ashton stayed home all day. He kept you on dry toast with lemon and ginger tea which seemed to be doing wonders for your stomach.

But when you were running for the bathroom once more, even after having only had toast throughout the day, you felt your heart flip at the possible reality of being pregnant.

So once you shooed Ashton out of the bathroom, you got the three tests out, taking a slow, deep breath as you peed on the sticks and waited.

“Babe, are you okay?” You opened the door, and pulled Ashton inside.

“I wasn’t too sure, but mom always say ‘first time is chance, second is a coincidence and third time’s a pattern,” you rambled to his confused face, “so I worked out that my period is late and I’m suffering with the same sickness I suffered the first time around and I went ahead and bought some pregnancy tests and-”

Ashton covered your lips with his hand and you stopped talking.

“Breathe, angel.” And you did.

It took a few times to slow your heart rate down and you could feel your heart and stomach flutter in nerves and anticipation.

“I’m suffering the same symptoms I had when I was pregnant the first time around. So I got some tests. I wanted to wait because, it’s stupid but mom always said-”

“First time is chance, second is a coincidence and third time’s a pattern. You wanted to be sure it wasn’t just food poisoning.” You nodded at his words.

“How much longer do we need to wait?”

“They should be done. Ash, I’m scared.” You finally blurted out and he took his hands in yours.

“We’re in this together. I promise.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

Taking in a deep breath, you looked down to the test and you felt your heart stutter.

Pregnant.

You were pregnant with Ashton’s child.

“Baby?” You whispered, your eyes turning to him and you could see the tears gathered in his eyes and panic flooded you for a second before his lips curved up into the biggest smile you’d seen him wear.

His gaze turned from the tests to you and you couldn’t help yourself. You were grinning with him.

“We’re gonna be parents again.” He whispered and you couldn’t stop the sob of joy as his arms picked you up, laughter bubbling from both of you.

“We’re gonna be parents again!” Came from your lips this time, and as he danced around with you in his arms, you felt lighter than ever.

He placed you on your feet, immediately falling to his knees afterwards and his fingers pushed up under your bed shirt, caressing the skin softly, his eyes studying the soft skin with an awe like look upon his features.

“Hiya peanut,” he whispered so softly that you almost missed it, “your mommy and daddy are gonna take real good care of you.” His lips pressed against your stomach and you giggled through your tears, running your fingers through his hair.

He tilted his head back, a few tears falling as he took you in.

“You are an amazing woman.”

“I’m still the same woman, just pregnant.” You giggled again, leaning down to meet his lips with yours.

“That still makes you amazing. Holy shit, we’re going to be parents again.”

—

tag list: @cals-babylons , @plainwhiteluke , @calumspeachy , @wrappedaroundcal , @holidayhood , @mistletoemichael , @merryashmas , @hereforlukescruff , @astroashtonio , @catchinqcalum , @roselukes , @5saucewho, @babylon-uncrowned , @dontstopisagoodsongchangemymind , @therainydays4 , @asht0ns-world , @silverchainbee , @hidd3nfangirl , @doodleasouarus , @hemmomfg , @mylovehes , @songforhema , @kinglyhood , @youngblood199456 , @makecoffeenotwars , @5squash , @negative-love , @softboycal , @you-of-ghost , @dannisos , @balsamichood , @meetyoutheremgc , @lmao5sosimagines , @lietoash , @aw-hawkeye , @biggestslutforcalum , @drummerboy794 , @itkindajusthappenedreally, @mycollectionofnuts , @coreybryanttrash , @abitloudforanaccousticset , @boytoynamedcalum , @teampreator , @dukehoods , @hoe4hemmo , @calumhampton , @sassy-asht0n , @toofadedtofight , @gigglyirwin , @blue-skies-are-alright , @hearts-to-the-sky , @tiddlerrr , @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you , @thesensationalcalum , @ashtxns-hxe , @cakeassx-blog , @hopelessxcynic , @5secondsof-im-so-dead , @baby-loba , @captivatingcal , @rosesfromcth , @esoltis280 , @cal-puddies , @rosecoloredash , @jpgluke , @cathartichaoss ,

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carndriverrecords · 4 years

Text

First Blog Post 3/20/20

Started CnD Records today. Feels Good.

Working on some diss tracks. Not sure if they see it coming - doesn’t matter either way.

Planning to release Car and Driver first real record this Friday 3/20/20. Driving Test Driver Fest 1.

Self release first record - another 20 tracks next week. Compile top 10 - 15 for first release with other label - thinking Terrible, Kranky, blu ish label or Thrill Jockey. Citrus City a no-go for now. Maybe just keep building CnD records.

Be the middle man - take advantage of opportunities without sacrificing my bands’ (and those I represent) integrity.

Reach sleep destroyer.

Last night at Ted’s - great DJ set. Kidz bop remixes, Fancy. Crowd hated it. Ted disappointed we had to leave but it’s ok with everyone. Tall guy took aux right out of computer, have video. Started dancing - cucked everyone. Everyone thinks they’re the crazy charismatic guy. Am I actually? I think so. Syd thinks so.

CnD Fest 2 , 3 , 4 at Purchase and beyond. Would like to play apartments, Scully’s den in BK (reach out) and Philly, DC etc.

Next voice memo album - 20 - 25 tracks right now. Better than the first. Danny said best album ever.

Working on “My oh Maia Reason Why” video - my favorite video I’ve ever seen. Getting good feedback.

Important to collab with certain SUNY people before I go:

Members of Lip Critic, Dawson, Neal, Gabe.

Send stuff back and forth with Joseph Kress.

Need to write song about not sharing a stage w unstable Car and Driver - cost me 2 gigs. Ok because I had the police interaction that night.

Things have been working out quite well. Syd is keeping me in check. Main priorities are keep the energy going while I can and make sure everyone around me is comfortable with me doing my thing, specifically mom, sofia.

Going to Only Angels tomorrow to collab with Alex.

Tues/Wed in RI with Zach Gorton. Need to see Nick Holcomb, Sofia, Will Orchard if he’s around. Riley in Boston? Would love to.

Visit Dad soon on the way to Richmond, in a few weeks perhaps. Grandma Roberta etc. They have a BBQ place now - I bet it’s great.

Follow up in the morning (3 hours from now) with wedding band, Kevin Daniels, drummer etc.

Film sunrise sessions at Purchase: My Ride’s Here, Splendid Isolation, Keep me in your heart, Studebaker, Cat’s in the Cradle, Everybody that you know. Don’t think twice, Boots of Spanish Leather, Someday my Prince, Teenage Dirtbag, Arthur (Woof Woof), Forget You, Signed Sealed Delivered, Superstition, The Promise, Hold me now (TT), Love on Top, Townes Van Zandt, 1-800 superstar, Evan Wright, Tom Petty, Blinded By the Light, Searching for a Heart, Mag Field’s, Barenaked Ladies, TMBG, Dolly Parton one sided love, Byrds, Beatles, Kinks, Stones, Parquet Courts, T Swift (Red, Way I loved you), Mitski, Sasami, Anything Could Happen, Beach House, He Needs Me, These Days, YLT, Beach Boys, Big Star Take Care, G500/Luna, Felt, Psychic TV, Shelia, BJM, Yellow Sarong, Over and Over, Hazel St, Heatherwood, Helicopter, He Would’ve Laughted, I wanna be your lover, The pump, Good enough (sleep destroyer), Them airs, BH (14, indian summer), help me scrape mucus off my brain), Beach Comber, DO YOUR THING, Icehead, Bobby, 1000 times, WIll Orchard, Bon Iver, MGMT, Tame impala, Instant Crush, etc. Art Vandelay, Quick Canal, Stereolab, Grouper, Broadcast, Animal Collective, Panda Bear, Bachelor Kisses, Cranberries, Cure, Pastels, MBV, I found a reason, pale blue eyes, Deerhoof, Gretel Alex G, Dancing w tears in my eyes, Elvis Costello, No age(things i did), Are ya ok, Maus, Ariel, R Stevie, Aphex Twin, Zomes, Vampire Weekend etc.

Bring Laptop for Beats on some and lyrics for all.

Love life more than ever before. Music feels so good. Want to help, make amends, everything that moondog did. Don’t be homeless much longer.

Not sure if I like throbbing gristle - definitely like Psychic TV.

How savage should diss tracks be? Very? Match the severity of the person’s treatment of me/others. Aka - pretty bad for all except for Auto.

Listened to new Kanye today - 10x better and more influential than death grips.

Realized today that i’ve spent my whole life wishing I was Kanye and now I am Kanye. Feels very good.

Everyone is gifted but internet makes us angst.

I am mostly Camus right now - maybe more Kierkegaard soon. Religion and Terrence Malik. Still need to read books.

Order of Books: The graduate Portrait of the artist Consider Lobster Infinite Jest Pynchon Ulysses (At recommendation of American gamer association)

Syd is incredibly gifted. Want to help her feel comfortable doing art/work here in the chaos but also sort out the chaos for both of ours’ sake. I thrive in it, she tolerates well. Want to move to Riverdale still, maybe East Williamsburg with Backpack Chris. We’ll see about money. Philly perhaps, little too far. Jersey is good location but bad commute. Bad to RI.

Visit RI and Boston Tues - Thurs. Sell Cigarettes at Concerts. Feels right.

Keep smoking for now - quit end of summer perhaps.

Don’t have Corona Virus - glad we are not quarantined. Still be smart. Don’t expose mom regardless. Protect at ALL costs.

Really though, why does Journee hate me? Write new track (Journee into forever nevermore not now not ever (Lou)) or Journee into SJW self righteous moral posturing (way too savage - maybe voice memo outro)

AR Kane album is incredible. Syd loves too. Sample everything.

Crazy - sound better at jazz than ever in my life. Exploring harmony - never practice. Teach free lessons all the time. Love the diminished scale. Might be best jazz guitarist to ever live. Time will tell. Would be cool long term. Prefer singing.

Getting good at piano too.

I’m my favorite lyricist/comedian/actor.

Is maia right, acting isn’t hard? Weird they can’t act.

^Remember to delete^

Don’t share this on Facebook yet.

Why does Journee hate me so much? Just the Louis CK joke?

People who stay home and do nothing hate to see irreverent people doing things.

People like when you’re losing - don’t like to see you win.

^That makes me sound crazy.

F00D outsider might make me famous first.

Need to keep up with legal situation.

Hope mom and dad both live long. Call Syd, get something nice for everyone in family. Get weird jewel cases. Order jewelry from etsy. Post merch on bandcamp.

Finish album art soon. Music videos. Get better at animation etc. Pay Ben for his poster. Actually really good. Maybe album art? Duo album! Record in Wisconsin, release under his name. WIll success be good for Ben? I think so. Still can’t believe Liv told him I wasn’t ok. Wow - good content for lyrics. You truly cannot write this.

How will people react to diss tracks? Extremely negatively. Or no reaction. We shall see. Maybe no real names in the titles...... only on Oh my. 4 names in titles is too many. Don’t release Auto track. Maybe on Voice Memos.

Track List: Good God Bed Head Rosa Reprise Oh My House Pop 1 skydive Pop 2 APhex GVO Pay 4 Take some Cherish Stars in F Are ya ok too bright Honeys Get to work Everybody That You Know Frost Bit BPC NYC New Age Heimet Helmet Deadbeat dads watermill for slitting bars romantic song david byrne Cinema study in cinema Brain ego Cherry doc marten Can’t liv w/o Venmo groceries Oh you like? Dancin DJ blues We are the State Farm robots Danny dorito is a dirty devito My funny valentine Zoomer blues The thing abt genres Blss Like minds ft dawson Lil toucha jazz Introducing car and driver The holy moment empire Ethics 101 - gma in the street Otto is sad I don’t know what it means! Operatic mellismatic Car and driver fest will be a success! Car and driver fest was a bust again! Cipha’s comedy corner Ryder Be gone evil atonal spirits!

Unreleased mental breakdown compilation ep:

I like all music! I’m a stupid pos Electric micro bike Get off your phone! John frusc Nice song Lap steel for 2 My masseuse advice Bed head wash sq Punchie John Maus yoyo interview Diminished kinda thing

Build the NYC scene, w Blu ish, Evan, 1 800, sweet joseph, Comics Club, Dawson, Sloppy Jane, Wheatus,

See Jack Fortin in NYC soon. Either my event or his.

Things are still good. Syd will be a great filmmaker. WIll maybe will end up with a dancer or a filmmaker - Probably not a musician. WIll have many loves.

Things are good right now - hope they stay that way.

Feel like Ezra Keonig - hopefully someone reads this one day and agrees. Different time in history and the internet - hope this is less cringe than Ezra’s blog , probably not. Ezra, if you’re reading this, sorry. See ya at Bernie’s rally.

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songofadaydream · 4 years

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my real-time thoughts on rocketman the 4th time I’ve seen it in total and 2nd time this week, let’s go bois *very long post warning*

fair warning I just finished jojo rabbit less than an hour ago and it was way more emotional than I expected, so she’s probably going to be an emotional wreck tonight ladies!! :)) also, I will be pausing the movie throughout! just wanted to let you know

starting the night out right with some lay’s salt and vinegar chips and a lush face mask

not even a part of the movie but when the studio logos come on a version of goodbye yellow brick road and just *french kiss*

it’s starting and I am here for it!!

taron comes looking like an icon and a snack. actually, a whole meal. the heart glasses omggg

“how long’s this gonna take.” “that’s really up to you.”

i never noticed this before but taron stares right into the camera as he introduces himself

“my name is elton hercules john. and I’m an alcoholic. and a cocaine addict. and a sex addict. and a bulimic. i’m also a shopaholic who was problems with weed, prescription drugs, and anger management.”

“well my dealer was out of town I thought this seemed like a good alternative,”

“and I wanted to get better.”

um the transition into the full on musical number of the bitch is back.

this tiny little child actor playing elton saying bitch 10 million times. props to his parents for letting him do that.

um also his riffs??

just the way his mom says, “love to.”

god his dad is a DOUCHE

“when are you going to hug me”🥺🥺

the flashlight conducting scene!! they’re playing rocketman and it’s so beautiful and cute!! whe lil reggie/elton gets on the mini piano oh my god

when he looks at his mom’s fashion magazines...gay fashion icon beginnings...

*looks up* “can we go home,”

he starts playing his teacher’s song and she’s just like 😦😦

idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I don’t really like the I want love scene. I just don’t really like the switching of singer, the arrangement, and tempo. just my opinion though :/ also that’s the only weak scene of this movie I think

elton’s grandmother appreciation post send tweet

that last I want love though.

when his mom is clearly getting it on in a car and her date is like, “I’m..,,..a friend of.,.,,..your mum’s,.,,”

his dad leaves. heartbreaking!

when he wipes the tear away...

“i discovered records. and rock and roll :)”

playing classical music with an elvis presley haircut is an aesthetic no I don’t take criticism

“excuse me. you can’t put that there,” “why not,” “it’ll get knocked off.”

when he transforms into teenage elton and an amazing musical/dance number starts

that face taron makes when the door shuts on the car

“it’s not just your name. you gotta kill the person you were born to be in order to become the person you wanna be.”

that kiss with one of the band members is so hot.

peeing in a bottle in disgusting I’m sorry.

“what’d you say your name was again?” “elton.” “elton. elton what.” “john. elton john.”

ray is cute af. also the transcendental moment when he hands elton the envelope with bernie’s lyrics in it.

“one frothy coffee, no froth.”

jamie is so cute what the heckkkk

singing streets of loredo in a cafe is so wholesome and adorable

holy sHIT BORDER SONG IS STARTING

bernie and elton are literally so cute together as friends omg

also completely digging these like early 70s silk scarf things.

“yeah I could just take those songs and leave if you like,”

“what about the fact that you’re a f*g...your little friend here...is a homosexual.”

bernie not caring whether or not elton is is gay is Peak Pure ™

“oH fUcK”

when they stumble home drunk. the cuteness I can’t.

“you are a ssshhHHITT hot piano player, you have an aMAZING voice, and I’m telling you there is something special that happens...when you sing our songs.”

the way the two handle elton’s leaning in for a kiss is SO GOOD and I could write an entire essay on it. “we became inseparable after that. the brother I never had.”

“anyway I took his advice. told arabella. she took it quite well actually,” *cut to her throwing his piano out the window* “sHe KiLlEd mY pIaNo”

your song and everything about that scene is perfection. that’s all I have to say.

“you can’t just sPRING the troubadour on me.”

“put on a great

fucking

show. and just don’t kill yourself with drugs?”

amoreena is so good how didn’t I realize this until now!

doug flirting w/bernie kills me every time.

“ooh dude. what the hell’re you wearing?”

“my stage gear.”

*bernie stumbles in drunk* “reggie! reggie reggie. neil diamond is at the bar he’s talkin to leon russell and half the fuckin beach boys eh??”

“jesus sHIT bernie,”

that little, “well come on then,” after being yelled by bernie & ray

“please welcome all the way from london, england...”

ELTON JOHN

when he starts singing it’s like the smoothest molasses ever and I am HERE for it.

there’s an interview where taron says, and I quote, “those dungarees made my ass look massive” wholeheartedly agree my guy. but in best way possible

when they start floating

elton’s jacket and the magic that is the entirety of tiny dancer <3 <3

there’s a whole ass bed in a tipi?? what the hell

“so you like the songs then?” “not quite as much as the singer,” OH SHIT THE GAY TENSION

“there are moments in a rockstar’s life that defines who he is...and it’s going to be a wild ride,”

it’s a weird scene to like but I really love the take me to the pilot love scene. the song is so good and perfect for that moment, and they seem genuinely attracted to each other (even though john ends up being a huge dick later)

the way he takes the glasses off

the lil race to get their pants off is weird but it works

elton just seems so happy and content at the end and it’s so refreshing.

when he gets the shoes and the glasses <3

he looks so happy and fulfilled my little boy

why is it so cute when he and Kiki record don’t go breaking my heart

elton stops it the SECOND he sees John oh my goddd

kiki’s little “ough” when she sees john

“elton what’s going on are we going again or should we go for a pint,” *sees john walk into the closet* “yeah no yeah you should go for a pint”

HONKY CAT IS ONE OF IF NOT THE BEST SCENES/SONGS IN THE ENTIRE FILM THERE I SAID IT

cocaine induced head butt of a soccer ball is iconic

why did they have to get rid of rayyyy

the, “best of luck to you elton,” is so bitter yet genuinely well-wishing??

“welp...that was *absolutely* horrible,” is such a mood

the scene where he goes to come out to his dad is so incredibly heartbreaking, especially when it cuts to him in rehab.

taron deserves an oscar just for throwing that chair alone.

“what have you got to do the get a fucking drink around here, eh?” and then he takes a swig from a bottle in the car with john

when he calls his mom to come out. that shit hurts.

“i just hope you realize you’re choosing a life of being alone forever...you’ll never be loved properly.” he opens his mouth. it’s so awful guys. and then he fucking gets punched by john what an absolute dick.

“real love’s hard to come by. so you find a way to cope without it.”

the scene that comes right after that when he’s getting ready for his show and snorts cocaine and takes a swig of a drink really shows how far off the deep end he had gone. it’s heartbreaking, really.

“PEOPLE DON’T PAY TO SEE rEgInALd dWiGhT THEY PAY TO SEE ELTON JOHN. DON’T EVER TELL ME HOW TO DO MY FUCKING JOB.” “WRITE THE FUCKING LYRICS, BERNIE. LET ME DEAL WITH THE REST,” “i’m sorry,” “i know.”

that headdress tho

ok but pinball wizard absolutely slaps and so does the montage with all of his changing outfits

oh my god the drag queen in his room though

NONONONO JOHN IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE FUCKING CHEATING ON HIM IT IS NOT OKAY.

what an inconvenient time for his mom to waltz in

“and what a shy little boy you were! look at you now.”

“mum you’re ON my GOWN,”

i wish i were as cool as bernie getting out of that car and coming inside

“yEaGhHhH...go get a lil drink. yehyeh,”

get ready for one of the most impactful scenes of 2019 if not the 2010s ladies

“FOR MY NEXT TRICK i’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

again, I could write an entire essay on this but the fact that he is literally hitting rock bottom with his childhood self down there is so impactful and powerful and one of the greatest artistic choices they made in this film. also the cinematography is gorgeous.

and oh, by the way, taron actually performed this underwater. no cgi or special effects. where is his oscar.

john is a dick to him on the stretcher but bernie looks so genuinely concerned for his friend and I love that.

it is absolutely gut wrenching when they pump his stomach.

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND ANGLES AND SILHOUETTES WHEN IT GETS TO THE BIG CHORUS PART IS SO SO SO INCREDIBLY GOOD AND AMAZING AND I WILL NEVER, EVER GET OVER IT.

the nurses getting him ready for what was probably his biggest/most iconic performance to date is something so incredible, and such a great choice cinematically, story wise, and really emotion wise too. he was at his absolute rock bottom and did one of if not the most iconic performance a little over 24hrs later, and I think this little part really helps to illustrate that.

taron actually hit that baseball and I’m so proud of him for it.

the liftoff is so great. and then it cuts to him in a plane with smoke on his head which just. ugh.

hot take: elton’s addiction wouldn’t have gotten so bad if he had just gone to bernie’s fucking ranch with him

THE QUEEN OUTFIT IS SO ICONIC IM SORRY

also if this movie doesn’t win the goddamn best costume design I swear to god.

YES BENNIE AND THE JETSSSSS

this is also such a great scene as well omg.

when he flashbacks to his childhood and difficult and also great moments in his life during this sequence. that hit hard.

i feel like no one talks about taron’s arms enough? they as thiccc as his thighs why y’all sleeping on them

“You signed a contract with me years ago, so I’ll still be collecting my 20% long after you’ve killed yourself.” that’s cold as hell.

when he throws that glass at the door. and then victim of love starts playing straight afterwards UGH dexter fletcher you need to STOP and CALM DOWN

listen I don’t know elton was thinking and/or feeling in terms of life and his sexuality when he decided to marry renata but can we talk about his wedding outfit?? wtffff it’s so gay and if you don’t see it you’re blind.

the look his mom gives him I’m DEAD

they literally had separate rooms this was not a normal marriage. the breakfast scene is so sad though.

“did being married make you happy?” “not really, I’m gay.” hands down one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie.

why does he have sperm on this firework suit coat.

“you know I am so sick of running away from who I am.”

the way his voice wavers and cracks is not okay. and neither is his mom twisting everything around so that she’s made out to be the victim. and don’t cry in the bathroom elton please buddy. you’ll be okay.

“campaign to kill yourself is going well, eh?”

“when did you give up? if you don’t care about yourself how can you expect anyone else to...it’s not weak to ask for help.”

goodbye yellow brick road is such a beautiful song and scene and why didn’t we get Jamie to sing more I mean come on he does so incredibly well in this scene.

also I didn’t really realize that they flipped a few verses around for the movie. and elton yelling and screaming at bernie as he leaves is so powerful.

elton yelling at himself.

this is also when he has a heart attack?? chest infection?? I don’t really know but he falls down the stairs and Mr. Dick Manager John makes him continue to perform.

and there he is in the first scene’s costume. singing the rest of yellow brick road.

and there he goes. off to rehab. a full circle moment. good for him for finally taking control of his life and addictions.

“yeah but I started acting like a c*nt in 1975. I just forgot to stop.”

“maybe I should’ve tried to be more ordinary.” his grandmother walks in. “he was never ordinary.” my. heart. can. not. take. this.

this next scene where he talks to everyone in his mind is incredibly powerful and I will shout it from the rooftops until the end of time.

“my problem is that I believed you loved me. and you’re incapable of it.” the SHADE

“actually I think I’m okay with strange.”

BERNIE COMES IN MY LOVE

“bernie...I never told you how much I need you.” shit fam here comes the waterworks

“you just need to remember who you are. and be okay with it.”

and then his childhood self comes in. “I haven’t been reggie Dwight for years.” “when are you going to hug me.” he engulfs his young self in a hug. this is one of the best moments of the film and I am now full on crying.

I can’t get over how wholesome bernie’s visit is with Elton. the sweetest thing ever.

“you’re not scared you’re not good without it, you’re scared to feel again...this is the part you gotta do on your own. these...need music”

“thank you bernie.” “you’re my brother.” <3

and then he finally sits down to write again. and it’s pure magic.

I’m still standing is a a feat of what he’s been through the entire movie. finally, he’s sober, he’s accepting of himself/his sexuality, and is getting to a better place. plus, it mirrors the original music video, and is everything I’ve ever needed and more. *the* perfect scene and song to end upon.

he’s so happy at the end. and then the epilogue starts and says he’s been sober for 28 years and counting, set up an aids charity, still writes with bernie, met his husband David 25 years ago and is finally loved properly (rip my heart out of my chest, why don’t you), has two sons and is retiring from touring. and and the I’m gonna love me again plays with him and taron and it’s just such a perfect song to end, and I can’t.

so. those are my thought while watching rocketman for the 4th time in total, 2nd time this week. sorry that’s it’s so long. I just love this film so much. anyways, it’s almost 2am and I’m an emotional wreck. I’m gonna go cry and go to bed now. thanks for making it this far. :) <3

#elton john rocket man #eltonjohn #sir elton john #elton john #taron egerton #taronegerton #taron egerton rocketman #70s music #musical biopic #musical fanatasy #rocketman review #rocketman movie review #movie review #film review #music review #film analysis #film exposé

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dean-bluesteel-winchester-spnfam · 5 years

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Every question.

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?Ohhh yes ;)

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?Nope. I never saw Cassie again since I saved her more than ten years ago. Lisa doesn’t even remember me. And Robin? Nope I visit her once at the restaurant she works at but that was also a long time ago.And I mean... why would I?

3. Have you taken someones virginity?Yeah I did.

4. Is trust a big issue for you?Actually yeah. I mean I got myself a family that I trust but it was always hard for me to start trusting someone. Now when I do trust someone, then it isn’t an issue anymore.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?‘Hang out’ heh? That’s how the kids call it today? But really, of course I do. Woke up next to him a few hours ago.

6. What are you excited for?Don’t tell anyone. Maybe christmas. Definitively for my wedding.

7. What happened tonight?Hmm. I made dinner, we watched a movie. Cas was telling me about some new facts about bees. I tried to teach him pool. He disctracted me. We went to bed ;)

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?What even is this question? Get wasted if you wanrt. Just be safe.

9. Is confidence cute?I think so.

10. What is the last beverage you had?Whiskey.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?Eh let’s see. Mom, Jody, Donna, Ellen, Jo, Charlie, Claire, Alex. So eight.

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?Ugh. Yeah. But I never wore them. Dunno. Probably look stupid.

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?Trying to teach Cas pool again. Or maybe watch a movie and just enjoy a nice day without almost dying.

14. What are you going to spend money on next?Hmmm good question. Probably pie. But I’m also eying some classes I’d love to take. So maybe.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?Oh hell yes.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?People always change a bit. I think maybe it’s little things. I do hope to get happier. Without having to worry all the time.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?@anangelamuse-castiel-spnfam

18. The last time you felt broken?When Jake killed Mom and Cas walked away from me.

19. Have you had sex today?Not yet. Wish me luck.

20. Are you starting to realize anything?What should I realize?

21. Are you in a good mood?Yeah.

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?Honestly? I think it’d be kinda badass. But I can already hear Cas and Sammy scolding me.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?Nope. I have no idea why my eyes turned out to be so green.

24. What do you want right this second?Cas.

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?I hate this question. If he would kiss somebody else and *wants* to be with them, I’d let him go. No matter how that would hurt.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?Yes it is.

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?I don’t think so. I mean laughing is so important and Cas makes me laugh all the time (not always on purpose).

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?Cas asking Sam why his hair looks like that.

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?Sure do. Mostly my mom. But I also miss Cas and Sammy when they are away.

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?Yes.

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?No. He’s my brother.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?Yeah. I mean he didn’t for a long time, but I was brave and finally told him.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?Yeah kinda. Like really rare that I order soda.

34. Listening to?Led Zeppelin.

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Sometimes.

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?Yeah I can hear the shower and you know what? He sings sometimes in there.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?Ask me ten years ago, I’d say no. But when Cas came into that old barn? All powerful and hot? Maybe I got hard. But really the love came after I really got to know him.

38. Who did you last call?Charles. Invited her over.

39. Who was the last person you danced with?Cas. I just dunno grabbed him and spun him around in the bunker. I think he was kinda surprised but it was nice.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?Because I wanted the pie he baked. No, because I love him of course. Wished him a goodnight like that.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Donna gave me some a few weeks ago. So good, but not pie.

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?No... they are both dead.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?When do I not? Just yesterday I slipped in the shower and Castiel saw it while he brushed his teeth. A+

44. Do you tan in the nude?I try to tan, but it never works. I get only more freckles.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?No.

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?Yeah. Cas always talk to me to sleep, so I can shut my brain off.

47. Who was the last person to call you?Cas or Sammy.

48. Do you sing in the shower?....No?

49. Do you dance in the car?Hell yes.

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?Yeah quite a lot actually. Comes in handy while hunting.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?Oh... never actually. Or does the mugshot count?

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?Yeah. But I like them anyway.

53. Is Christmas stressful?I have no idea? I just sounds nice.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?No.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?Everyone thinks it’s apple. And while I kill for apple pie, cherry is even better.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?After that with Mom, I wanted to be a firefighter. Also loved to be a mechanic or... have a bakery.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?Ha. yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?Yeah and I hate it.

59. Take a vitamin daily?No?

60. Wear slippers?Yeah.

61. Wear a bath robe?Also yes.

62. What do you wear to bed?If Cas fucks the lights out of me, nothing. Otherwise he got us soft pajames, because apprently it’s not good for me to sleep in jeans.

63. First concert?Small town band I forgot the name of. I sneaked out when Dad was sleeping and got wasted. I can still hear him screaming at me next morning, cause he thought a monster got me.

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?I don’t care.

65. Nike or Adidas?Neither?

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?Cheetos.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?Peanuts.

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?What? I don’t have a... okay it’s ‘Shake it off.’

69. Ever take dance lessons?No - but when I was young I wanted to... I just.. well maybe I should take some before the wedding, right?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?Oh. Not really, I’m just happy if they are happy as well.

71. Can you curl your tongue?Yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?No.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?Yes.

74. What is your favorite book?Sherlock Holmes.

75. Do you study better with or without music?With.

76. Regularly burn incense?No.

77. Ever been in love?Still am.

78. Who would you like to see in concert?Led Zeppelin. AC/DC. Elvis...

79. What was the last concert you saw?Can’t remember their name.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?Hot.

81. Tea or coffee?Coffee.

82. Favorite type of cookie?Chocolate.

83. Can you swim well?Yes.

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?Eh yeah.

85. Are you patient?Not really. Which is not a good thing.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?Band.87. Ever won a contest?Yeah once I won an eating contest.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?Nope.

89. Which are better black or green olives?Ew. None.

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?Everyone can do what they like. I wish I hadn’t waited for marriage but maybe for the right person.

91. Best room for a fireplace?Living room. Or my Dean cave.

92. Do you want to get married?Yes.

#phew #now that took some time

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lorena1956983584-blog · 5 years

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How Many Completely different Genres Of Popular Music Are There? No. You are Flawed.

Genres in music are like branches of a tree. This can be a superb thing, culturally talking. The national music scene has never been this diverse. Too typically, particularly in rock's heyday, http://www.audio-transcoder.com/ it was dominated by acts that made their bones from taking nonwhite music and sanitizing it for white audiences. That custom undoubtedly lives on, in musicians like Justin Bieber, but the pop charts and critics' notebooks precisely replicate the American mosaic in a manner that they actually haven't earlier than. We could also be in the midst of a big leap backward as a rustic, but at least the music is good. Even the country charts are fairly woke.

Music Genre Classification is without doubt one of the many branches of Music Information Retrieval From here you can carry out different duties on musical data like beat monitoring, music generation, recommender methods, track separation and instrument recognition etc. Music evaluation is a various discipline and also an attention-grabbing one. A music session someway represents a second for the person. Discovering these moments and describing them is an interesting challenge within the subject of Information Science. Every technology seems to offer the subsequent one crap for its music. (See what I did there?) I teased my dad and mom about their disco till at some point all my Green Day and Good Charlotte sounded dated in my headphones. Previous people" used to inform us children that our songs have been a mirrored image of our disintegrating values, that music was worse than it was once. Positive, they missed their Elvis and their Bee Gees, however they also missed the days once we appreciated good morals. The lyrics we mouthed, the artists we worshipped, the genres we bumped were all proof of society sliding into the sewer.

Maybe unsurprisingly, Kenny finds that accidents - including car crashes and drug overdoses - are a huge reason for premature death for musicians, accounting for nearly 20 percent of all deaths throughout genres. But accidents are much more likely to kill rock, metal and punk musicians. Punk and metal musicians additionally appear prone to suicide, whereas gospel musicians had the lowest suicide charge of all genres. Homicide accounted for 6 % of deaths, however was the reason for dying for an unimaginable half of rap and hip hop musicians in Kenny's pattern. Overall, I think this project was an effective way for me to department out of the musical genres I most resonate with, and to teach myself on the history of different musical genres. In hindsight, I would have loved to include a bit and even dedicate a complete undertaking in direction of discovering the extent to which sexually explicit or violent content inside songs affect a person. This thought occurred to me once I finished a class on the College of Rhode Island which lined intercourse and violence within the media. It will have been interesting to compare the lyrics of recent songs the lyrics of older genres and see in the event that they correlate. I additionally wished to reflect on the part in my poster that includes responses to the query: what impression does music have on society". There wasn't one participant who had anything adverse to say about music, which helped me to appreciate simply how vital it has and will at all times be. Let's return to the question of Ambient vs. New Age music. In their lighter", commercialized form, well known for the reason that '80s, these may be some gently flowing, predictable pieces of music, typically utilizing just a few fundamental chords, inspiring melodies and easy, most likely synth - based instrumentation, with frequent use of piano and strings (or string-like synth pads), maybe some arpeggiated synth elements. However, in the late '60s, pioneers of digital music were already engaged on a compositionally and aesthetically a lot deeper degree to create Ambient items (and New Age music later within the '70s). The 2 albums generally credited with laying down the style's sonic and conceptual framework have been Chuck Individual's 2010 LP Eccojams Vol. 1 (a Daniel Lopatin , aka Oneohtrix Point By no means, facet project) and Far Side Virtual (2011) by James Ferraro. Whereas Lopatin sampled from Eighties pop songs and fused them with the 1992 online game Ecco the Dolphin, Ferraro aimed for ringtone music" by sampling issues like the Skype log-in sound and being inspired by Brian Eno-composed Home windows ninety five tone, although his music usually may sound like Philip Glass or even the experimental digital music of Laurie Anderson. Whereas its day has come and gone, these two Vaporwave artists and others like Vektroid—whose album Flortal Shoppe beneath the Macintosh Plus moniker is perhaps the genre's defining document—are still making and releasing new music. This compendium of differences between the cultures of jazz and classical musicians is a supply of ever-rising fascination to me. I used to feel pissed off when a violinist couldn't play a groove, or when a jazz pianist froze up in front of a written passage. However actually these are simply manifestations of variations in brain structure, variations in coaching, and finally differences in culture. When you incorporate individuals with such variations into your music in an adroit manner, you may—as a substitute of shedding one thing—augment your sources to create an art that's tremendously multifaceted and rich, that celebrates and even thrives on difference. Mr. SINNETT: With jazz? You understand, it is fascinating as a result of I used to be a musician, truly, once I first heard jazz, and once I first heard jazz - I wasn't enjoying jazz, I used to be playing traditional soul music and rock and funk and those sort of things, however after I first heard jazz, I actually did not get it because it was the whole antithesis of every thing I used to be playing at that second. In different words, you had - I was coping with music that you just had quite simple, repetitive rhythmic devises in the music. It was primarily based on a groove, a specific sort groove. The concord we had been coping with was at a much decrease level in terms of complexity and it was primarily vocal.

For these of you who assume that heavy metallic consists of the singer screaming as loud as they can, the guitarist playing the guitar as quick as they will, and the drummer banging on the drums as loud as they will, just take a moment to suppose: would it not ACTUALLY be that widespread if it was simply so simple as that? Strive listening to any heavy metal song. You may be pleasantly shocked, I promise you. The lyrics have a much deeper meaning than virtually every other style of music, and don't let the way some bands current themselves off the stage put you off. I do not prefer it when bands gown up in all-black and wear black make-up and all that stuff both, but attempt to just think about the music. There's much more to it than you suppose there is.

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kronos-the-timelord · 5 years

Note

Dude, do all of the numbers for that getting to know you better ask! Or half bc 200 is a lot :0

ahhhhhh,, you so nice

1: My name? - Margaret

2: Do I have any nicknames? - maggie, mag, mags, maggles, at one point my friends called me parky

3: Zodiac sign? - libra

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? - i’ve never been too good at video games (but i like watching ppl playing them) and i’ve only ever had a wii so my sims kingdom was a favorite of mine

5: Book/series I reread? - divergent and pjo

6: Aliens or ghosts? - yes

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? - @kata-chthonia

8: Favourite radio station? - 103.3 fm, although i mostly listen to spotify now

9: Favourite flavour of anything? - grape and blue raspberry

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? - great or cool

11: Favourite song? - a to b by matt hires

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? - it usually has to do with what drew me to them in the first place followed up by a version ‘why do you think that?’ i like knowing how ppl think bc it gives me a better way to start understand their view

13: Favourite word? - aurora

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? - i can’t really remember, so i dont know what that says :/

15: Last song I listened to? - serial killer by moncrieff

16: TV show I always recommend? - dexter or if they don’t like blood and violence, any of john mulaneys specials

17: Pirates or ninjas? - i liked pirates when i was younger, but ninjas are cool

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? - any studio ghibli or song of the sea

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? - lately its been SLUT by bea miller

20: Favourite video games? - i really love boderlands, the art style is great

21: What am I most afraid of? - snakes and failing at something i’ve been saying that i wanted to do my entire life

22: A good quality of mine? - im nice??

23: A bad quality of mine? - im a bit aggressive and im really blunt about things

24: Cats or dogs? - dogs!! I like cats too but i dont know how to interact with them

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? - he’s a voice actor, but crispin freeman is really cool!

26: Favourite season? - fall and spring

27: Am I in a relationship? - yeah, but it’s long distance during the school year ;-;

28: Something I miss? - my boi,, he’ll be back soon tho

29: My best friend? @keencheckerboard and @memeathon

30: Eye colour? - brown

31: Hair colour? - brown with red and blonde highlights

32: Someone I love? - my mom

33: Someone I trust? - @keencheckerboard

34: Someone I always think about? - @memeathon

35: Am I excited about anything? - finals to be over!

36: My current obsession? - bnha tbh

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? - i loved avatar and ed, edd, and eddy

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? - to an extent, but i dont tell them /every/thing

39: Am I superstitious? - kind of

40: What do I think about most? - right now, school

41: Do I have any strange phobias? - not really, i mean i overthink a lot of things, but there’s no phobias

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind

43: Favourite hobbies? - drawing/reading/writing/sleeping

44: Last book I read? - i think it was called stung, i actually finished it bc i wanted to complain about it properly

45: Last film I watched? - dumbo, my friend wanted to go see it, it wasnt good

46: Do I play any instruments? - i played clarinet for 3 years

47: Favourite animal? - dogs

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? - @wemakuu @wemakuutwo @keencheckerboard @memeathon @kata-chthonia

49: Superpower I wish I could have? - teleportation

50: How do I destress? - getting cozy and warm under my blankets with the lights off

51: Do I like confrontation? - i can be aggressive so i will be confrontational if i have to but i don’t go out of my way for it

52: When do I feel most at peace? - in my bed with the lights off

53: What makes me smile? - my friends, my boi, and goofy animal videos

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? - gotta be pitch black

55: Play any sports? - i played roller derby for 3 years

56: What is my song of the week? - really feeling be by hozier

57: Favourite drink? - …..water…. and a slushee

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? - i think last summer???

59: Afraid of heights? - nope

60: Pet peeve? - slow walkers

61: What was the last concert I went to see? - does my high school’s band count???

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? - nah

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? - ob nurse, i still do

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? - no, i’ve had ppl i tolerated turn into ppl i hate tho

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? - bhna, but i feel the hero drama would get annoying after awhile

66: Something I worry about? - failing my classes

67: Scared of the dark? - nope

68: Who are my best friends? - this is the same as 29

69: What do I admire most about others? - their drive and where their motivation comes from

70: Can I sing? - no ;-;

71: Something I wish I could do? - sing

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? - pay off my loans and (hopefully) for the rest of my college and then put whatever i had left into a savings account

73: Have I ever skipped school? - yes

74: Favourite place on the planet? - i think the smoky mountains are really pretty and i loved vacationing around them, but colorado was really neat too, so probs one of those places

75: Where do I want to live? - somewhere on the northeast coast!

76: Do I have any pets? - yeah!! He’s a doggo named dageus,,,, here he is,, the big boi!! (hes 121 pounds of love!!!!!)

77: What is my current desktop picture? - something @memeathon drew me

78: Early bird or night owl? - night owl

79: Sunsets or sunrise? - im usually awake during sunset, but sunrise is really pretty

80: Can I drive? - yeah!

81: Story behind my last kiss? - i was saying bye to my boi at the airport

82: Earphones or headphones? - earphones

83: Have I ever had braces? - yeah,, they weren’t fun

84: Story behind one of my scars? - i have a couple little ones from acne on my back but other than that i don’t have any

85: Favourite genre of music? - i think indie rock?? Is that a genre?? Punk maybe????

86: Who is my hero? - florence nightingale,, she was hella cool and i went to her museum in london

87: Favourite comic book character? - i didn’t read a lot of comic books but i always liked spiderman and witchblade

88: What makes me really angry? - when ppl make fun of my friends >:l

89: Kindle or real book? - i like real books but ebooks are nice for traveling!!

90: Favourite sporty activity? - roller derby or skating

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? - im not really sure what this question means????? But i didn’t like that in my middle school that the behavior coach(es) would already pick sides or would already hate kids that did nothing wrong and then in my high school no one cleaned up after themselves bc ‘the janitors can do it’ :/ it was really annoying

92: What was my favourite subject at school? - english/creative writing and art!!

93: Siblings? - i got an older brother who’s a big nerd

94: What was the last thing I bought? - i went to target last night and i got $68 worth of stuff including planty stuff, food, and gift stuff for my boyfriend’s moms

95: How tall am I? - 5’6” but i will not hesitate bitch

96: Can I cook? - yeah!

97: Can I bake? - yeah!

98: 3 things I love? - my friends/family, animals, and plants

99: 3 things I hate? - slow walkers, rasict/homo/trans/biphobic (anyone who just hates ppl for no reason tbh), and rude ppl >:l

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? - more girl friends,,, i’ve kinda lost contact with most of my guy friends over the years,,,,

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? - i feel more comfortable around other girls now but when i was younger i was okay with everyone

102: Where was I born? - in the cornfields of the midwest (i fucking hate this state)

103: Sexual orientation? - straight

104: Where do I currently live? - in the cornfields of the midwest, i am the creature you’re warned about, don’t walk alone at night

105: Last person I texted? - @memeathon : D

106: Last time I cried? - yesterday,,, finals hit me hard but i feel better now :D

107: Guilty pleasure? - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,, looking at gross stuff,,, like surgeries and sometimes those pimple popping videos,,,,,,,,

108: Favourite Youtuber? - i’ve been watching a lot of gordon ramsay videos lately but i think brandon rogers or sovietwomble are up there

109: A photo of myself. - heres one i took on my break at work

110: Do I like selfies? - no,,, i don’t really like looking back on photos of myself bc i think i just look weird,, like even in my super nice senior photos,,, or baby pictures,,

111: Favourite game app? - does neko astsume count???

112: My relationship with my parents? - it’s p good :D

113: Favourite accents? - i’m not really sure,,, i think just a flat accent, like midwestern bc its the one im most familiar with so its like homey???????

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? - japan,, nowhere in specific i just want to see the country

115: Favourite number? - 23!!!!

116: Can I juggle? - no

117: Am I religious? - im a polytheist (a bad one, but oh well)

118: Do I like space? - i love space!!!! Its so neat!!!!!!

119: Do I like the deep ocean? - no!!! Its awful!!!!

120: Am I much of a daredevil? - i think my friends think i am, but i dont really think so, i mean i’ll try anything if it sounds fun, but not everything

121: Am I allergic to anything? - not that i know of

122: Can I curl my tongue? - yes

123: Can I wiggle my ears? - no

124: Do I like clowns? - not really

125: The Beatles or Elvis? - a little bit of each

126: My current project? - my creative writing portfolio ;-; its not that hard but im trying to figure out how to get this character right

127: Am I a bad loser? - depends on what i lost in, like if it was a game i didn’t really care about than no, but if it was something that i cared about a lot than yeah

128: Do I admit when I wrong? - i always try to, but sometimes i don’t

129: Forest or beach? - forest,, i don’t like the beach,, too much sand

130: Favourite piece of advice? - it’s not really advice but just the reminder that your current situation is not your final destination

131: Am I a good liar? - i think so

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? - slytherin (its funny bc im scared of snakes)/ dauntless/ and i think district 6 (i live in the crossroads of america so yeah)

133: Do I talk to myself? - all the fucking time

134: Am I very social? - sometimes, i am kinda a social introvert

135: Do I like gossip? - i like to hear it but not be part of it

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? - i have a bullet journal and i try to keep up with my habit and mood tracker daily

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? - no, but i have gotten like high d’s and low c’s before that make me sad

138: Do I believe in second chances? - depends on what they messed up on the first chance, like if someone cheated then no

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? - i would like to say that i would return it with no money taken, but im just not sure :/

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? - yeah, if they’re really trying and realize that they need to, but even if they do change i know not everyone will accept them back into their lives and it shouldn’t be expected that they should after someone changes for the better

141: Have I ever been underweight? - no

142: Am I ticklish? - very and i have this weird tactile thing thats like i dont like ppl lightly touching me, it freaks me out

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? - no

144: Have I ever been on a plane? - yes!! I love flying!! Its so much fun!!

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? - uhhhh,, im going to go by face,, i think for me - shailene woodley bc when she had her short hair ppl told me i looked like her @meme - liana liberato, she got the round face @keen - winona ryder (but back in beetlejuice) boyfriend - tucker west, i know he’s not an actor but he looks so much like him,,,, also it took me forever just to find these guys so im not finding family :p

146: Have I ever been overweight? - no

147: Do I have any piercings? - i have my ears pierced!

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? - hari jurono,,, i love him ;-;

149: Do I have any tattoos? - no, but i already have some picked out that i want

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? - ummmm??? Im not sure?????

151: Do I believe in Karma? - yeah

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? - contacts during the day and glasses at night

153: What was my first car? - i have a subaru crosstrek named inko!!! I love her!!

154: Do I want children? - no

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? - my mom tbh,,, shes really smart

156: My most embarrassing memory? - omfg,, so this goes to show how oblivious i am about social interactions, but it was my first week in college and this junior was talking to me and i didnt realize he was flirting with me until after we traded snapchats and he left, so i panicked and never said anything to him again and blocked him

157: What makes me nostalgic? - when i walk around my neighborhood sometimes (i live near the preschool i went to) and i was over at my elementary school almost a year ago now, but i remember walking down the hall and seeing all the different teachers there now and it made me sad

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? - yes, just last week

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? - brains

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? - darker colors like black and blue, but im trying to get lighter ones in there too

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? - yes, many times, but the one that sticks out to me is that one night i woke up at like 5 am for no reason, but i was just suddenly wide awake and something felt off, so i was trying to get comfy again and flipped over on my other side so i was facinging the door into my room instead of my wall and in front of my door was a tall black figure with red eyes staring at me and when i blinked it went away,, now i know this can be explained by some other things but with my family it seems more likely to be paranormal

162: What do I hate most about myself? - uhh, i procrastinate way too much

163: What do I love most about myself? - i always support my friends

164: Do I like adventure? - depends on the adventure,,, i like traveling, but not too much walking bc i have bad knees

165: Do I believe in fate? - not really

166: Favourite animal? - question 47

167: Have I ever been on radio? - no, but i was on my school’s announcements and i hated it

168: Have I ever been on TV? - no

169: How old am I? - 19

170: One of my favourite quotes? - “The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment could be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed”

171: Do I hold grudges? - im petty

172: Do I trust easily? - no,, im just cautious around ppl bc i just don’t know them

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? - some of them

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? - im not too sure,,, i got a p cool backpack for my birthday tho that i use everyday

175: Do I dream? - yeah, cant remember too many tho

176: Have I ever had a night terror? - no??

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? - can’t remember a lot after i wake up, but i just recently had one with some bnha characters in it, i can’t remember what happened, i just know that they were there

178: An experience that has made me stronger? - i know this might sound a bit morbid, but my aunt’s funeral, it was the first funeral i went to where i understood what was happening and it made me more open to learning and accepting death

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? - want to fucking die,,, i’ve never understood ppl who are scared of dying/want to live forever,, like why would you want that??? What’s the point??? You’ll just watch everyone you love die,,, i know it’s going to be hard on me when that happens to my closer family members, but even the new ppl you befriend,, i just couldn’t

180: Do I like shopping? - yeas

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? - tax evasion

182: What does “family” mean to me? - the ppl who i care about deeply and who love me, not all of them are blood related and not all the blood related ones are part of it

183: What is my spirit animal? - idk?????? Maybe a turtle???

184: How do I want to be remembered? - tbh, i don’t really want to be remembered

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? - drawing

186: What is my greatest failure? - im not sure

187: What is my greatest achievement? - uhh, i feel like its hard to point at a specific point and be like “that was the best thing i could have done, if i didn’t do that i wouldn’t be who i am today”

188: Love or money? - money

189: Love or career? - career

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? - probably to some point in the future,, i dont know where tho

191: What makes me the happiest? - the ppl i care about being happy

192: What is “home” to me? - the house i currently live in,, my family is here and im surrounded by ppl i love,, it’ll probably change with time, but for now its here

193: What motivates me? - spite

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? - it’s important to keep moving forward, don’t let the past hold you down

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? - kind of, i think it would be p cool

196: A movie that scared me as a child? - it wasn’t a movie but i know the animated wolf from peter and the wolf freaked me out

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? - i hated mushrooms, but i love them now

198: Zombies or vampires? - vampires

199: Live in the city or suburbs? - suburbs super close to city

200: Dragons or wizards? - DRAGONS

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? - its silly but when i was younger it would be my mom and i going to the mall downtown and the escalators were missing the part that connected them to the floor so you had to hop over it and when we would get to the 4th floor i would miss the jump and fall

202: How do I define love? - i know a lot of ppl are like “i would die for you or kill for you” something along those lines but i think it’s more living for someone, wanting to see them accomplish everything they wanted, being there for them during their lows203: Do I judge a book by its cover? - yeah, i wont pick up something that doesnt catch my eye

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? - no

205: Do I like my handwriting? - yeah!! Its loopy

206: Sweet or savoury? - sweet

207: Worst job I’ve had? - ive liked all the jobs ive had

208: Do I collect anything? no

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? - a hoodie/sweater of some kind

210: What is on my bucket list? - going to greece

211: How do I handle anger? - i usually rant for a bit, maybe cry to get the extra hormones out, maybe break something

212: Was I named after anyone? - no, but i did have the same name as my great grandma

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? - yes

214: What TV character am I most like? - im been watching bnha a lot so i think either kirishima or uraraka

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? - i can cross my eyes and then move one of them

216: Favourite fictional character? - ,,,,, im not sure,, i really love eric from divergent

#that took forever #it kept getting deleted and i would have to start over #sorry it took so long #selfie #????

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bringyourownbabytaters · 6 years

Text

Falling In Love With You ch. 6

Chapter 6. Cookie and The Universe

"Are you okay, Bex?" Bowie asked with a concerned frown. "You look so nervous."

Bex rang her hands together. "Just a little." She wiped her sweaty palms on her thighs.

Bowie reached out to touch her shoulder. "What's got you worried?" He searched her eyes carefully. "Are you really that scared to meet my parents?"

"What if they don't like me?" she sighed. She didn't consider herself the kind of girl moms would like their sons to bring home. And as she silently assessed herself, she couldn't help but worry that she was dressed all wrong, or she was wearing too much makeup, or maybe the red streaks in her hair were too much. She was sure Bowie's mom would take one look at her and ask her to leave.

"Bex," Bowie laughed. "Loosen up! They'll love you. Especially my mom. She loves everyone."

She looked up at him. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive," he promised, squeezing her hand. "How could anyone not love this face?" He pinched her cheek. "You'll be fine." He planted a kiss on her forehead. "Should we go in?"

"I guess," she said, shaking off her nerves. The night had been hard enough to orchestrate, that she knew she couldn't just back out. Her grounding had finally ended, but she still had to lie to her parents and say that she was having dinner at Emily's house- and convince Emily to cover for her. All she could do was hold her head up, and act as if meeting Bowie's parents were no big deal.

Bowie unlocked the front door of his house, a small yellow house with an attached garage, and let her in. The first thing to hit Bex was the delicious smell of dinner cooking. Her stomach growled. Bowie had told her that his mother cooked well enough to run a restaurant. It seemed that he wasn't exaggerating.

"Mom?" Bowie called. "We're here!"

"I'll be right there, sweetie!" a voice called back. And the woman who went with the voice emerged from the kitchen, smiling broadly. She was heavy-set, with blond hair and glasses, and she was wearing a frilly apron.

"Bex," said Bowie. "This is my mom. Mom, this is the beautiful Rebecca Mack." He placed his hand on her shoulders proudly.

Bowie's mom's face lit up. "So you're the famous Rebecca! Such a pretty name. You're all Steven talks about!"

"Who's Steven?" Bex asked, confused.

Bowie and his mother looked at each other and laughed. "Oh, that's Bowie's first name," his mom explained. "He prefers to go by his middle name though. He won't let anyone call him that but his father and I."

"You never told me that!" Bex exclaimed, punching Bowie playfully in the arm.

He shrugged. "Bowie just sounds cooler, Rebecca."

"I get it," she winked.

"Come here, sweetheart," Mrs. Quinn said, holding out her arms. "I'm a hugger." She took Bex in her arms and gave her the tightest hug she'd ever had, and to her surprise, a kiss on the cheek. It was a real 'mom' hug; the kind her own mother never gave her.

"You're the first girl Steven has ever brought home," she told her. "And look at you! You're just so cute!" She pinched Bex's cheek the exact same way Bowie had earlier.

Bex blushed. "Thank you for having me, Mrs. Quinn. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Call me Cookie, honey," Bowie's mom said. "Everyone does. You make yourself at home. Stevie will show you around, and dinner's in half an hour." A timer dinged in the kitchen. "Oh! Excuse me, kids." She hurried off.

Bex turned to Bowie. "Lead the way, Stevie"

Bowie sighed, laughing. "You want to see my room?"

"Am I allowed in there?" Boys weren't allowed in her room at home. they weren't even allowed in the house for that matter.

He gave her a puzzled look. "Yeah, of course. Come on."

He led her to the garage, and up a flight of stairs. "Here we are," he said, when they reached the top. "Casa Bowie."

Bex looked around. Bowie's room wasn't so much a room as a small apartment, really. It was huge, situated over the garage, with sloping ceilings. The walls were decorated with old license plates, street signs, and band posters. "Wow," she breathed. "This is your room?"

"What'cha think?"

"It's awesome," she breathed. "Your parents really let you have a room so far from them?"

He shrugged. "Well, it's soundproof, so it won't bother them when I play my guitar."

Bex couldn't imagine having that kind of freedom, of not being under constant surveillance. Bowie could do whatever he wanted. He didn't even have to enter the main house to come and go; he could leave through the garage. And she bet Cookie never rummaged through his personal belongings while he was gone, which she knew Celia did. Did other kids really live like this?

She walked around the room, taking everything in. Bowie's room was like him; quirky and unexpected, but somehow familiar. She paused at a bookshelf stuffed with comic books, records, and colorful pillar candles in whimsical, dripping shapes. "There's are so cool," she said, touching one with her fingertips.

Bowie came up behind her. "Yeah, I collect them. I know it's nerdy," he apologized.

"It's not," she said. "I like them." That he collected candles endeared him to her even more. It was just so sweet.

He took a red and white candle from the shelf. "Since red is your favorite color, I want you to have this one."

"Are you sure?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Yeah. I can't let you leave empty-handed," he winked.

"Thanks!" she smiled. She sniffed the candle. It smelled like Christmas. "Apple Cinnamon." She looked up at Bowie. "Your mom is so sweet."

He chuckled. "Yeah. She loves hard. Don't expect to leave without at least three more hugs and kisses and a bag of cookies."

"It's nice," Bex told him, sincerely. "I wish my mom was more like that." She bet Bowie never felt unloved in his home; the place felt so full of love, it was bursting at the seams. So different from her own home.

"You talk about your dad, but you never talk much about your mom," he said. "What is she like?"

Bex shrugged. "She's... reserved, I guess." She looked down at her candle. "She's serious, and tidy, and kind of old-fashioned. Her parents were immigrants, so hard work and a good education are really important to her."

"Do you think I can meet your parents soon?" Bowie asked her. "Since you're meeting mine tonight?"

"Maybe," Bex said, shifting her weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. She focused on the swirling colors of her candle. "We'll see."

"Well, I'm sure they're great, because they raised you," he told her. "And you're amazing." He seemed to sense her discomfort then. "You want to listen to some music?"

"Sure," she nodded, glad the subject had been changed.

He went to his record collection, and flipped through a stack of albums until he selected the one he wanted. He set the vinyl record on an old record player and lay the needle on it. Bex had never actually seen a record player in person, so that was pretty cool. Soon, Elvis Presley's voice filled the room, grainy and distant sounding.

Bowie plopped down on his bed. "Come here." He patted the comforter.

Bex stretched out beside him, and he drew her close to his side. He stroked her back gently with his fingertips.

"So," she said. "Am I really all you talk about?" She glanced up at him, giving him a smile, and tickled his side.

Bowie laughed. "Of course you are. Is there a better subject?"

"You're sweet," she said, resting her cheek against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. As she lay there, the song switched to one she recognized, Can't Help Falling in Love. She sang along in her head. 'Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you.'

Bowie hummed the tune softly. "This should be our song," he told her, twisting a lock of her hair around his finger. He kissed the side of her head, his warm lips lingering against her hairline. And then their lips met, as if they were magnets, drawn to each other.

Bowie kissed her deeply, more passionately than he'd ever kissed her before. He suckled her lower lip, weaving his fingers through her hair. Bex's heart sped up as she returned his kisses, caressing the back of his neck. A delicious tingle went down her spine as she felt him run his hand down the side of her body, resting on her butt and squeezing. Her hand slipped under his shirt, feeling the ripple of his toned chest and stomach.

They were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door. They pulled apart, regrettably, and Bowie hurried to answer it. Bex quickly sat up and smoothed her hair.

"Sorry to bother you kids," Cookie said from the doorway. "Just wanted to let you know dinner's ready."

"Thanks, mom," Bowie said. "We'll be right down."

****

When they reached the kitchen, Bex was greeted by the warmth of a real, home-cooked dinner. "Cookie, it smells delicious in here," she said, inhaling deeply. Her mouth watered.

Cookie turned from the stove. "Thank you, baby," she smiled. "I hope you like meatloaf."

"'ll eat anything," Bex told her.

"Mom's an awesome cook," Bowie beamed, patting Cookie on the shoulder.

"Well, my boys like to eat, and I like to make them happy," his mother said.

"Can I help you with anything?" Bex asked, remembering her manners.

"No, no, sweetheart, you're the guest," Cookie said, shooing her to the table. "You have a seat."

Bowie's dad walked in then, apparently just home from work at his garage in town. He was a big, tall man, who must have resembled Bowie very much when he was young. "Well, hello," he said, smiling a big, friendly smile. "You must be Rebecca." He held his hand out to shake hers, but retracted it, realizing it was covered in grease. "Sorry about that," he apologized, laughing, and went to the sink to wash his hands.

"Let's try that again," he said, once his hands were clean. He took Bex's small hand in his large, weathered one, and shook it. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she smiled. Bowie's dad's eyes had those crinkles around them, like her own dad. She liked him immediately.

She sat down next to Bowie, as Cookie set platters of food on the table. There was meatloaf, as well as mashed potatoes and gravy, glazed carrots, tossed salads, and rolls, in steaming blue bowls. "Help yourself, baby doll," Cookie told Bex. "But save room for dessert. I have a little surprise cooked up."

Bex waited for Bowie's family to serve themselves, then filled her plate as various bowls and dishes were passed to her. She couldn't wait to dig in. She took a forkful of meatloaf and put it in her mouth. "Mmm," she said, closing her eyes with appreciation. "This is delicious! Bowie, how are you not three-hundred pounds!"

Bowie and his parents laughed. "Doesn't your mom make meatloaf?" he asked.

"Not like this," she said, taking another bite. Celia made turkey loaf. Dry, gray, and tasteless, it was only edible if drowned in ketchup. It didn't hold a candle to Cookie's version, which was so flavorful, it didn't need ketchup.

Cookie smiled, pleased. "I'm glad you like it. The secret ingredient is salsa."

"What do your parents do, Rebecca?" Bowie's dad asked her, not in a prying way, but as if he were genuinely interested in her small life, the way Bowie was.

Bex chewed a mouthful of glazed carrots. She wasn't a fan of vegetables, but these were practically candy. "My dad is an accountant, and my mom is in real estate," she told him, between bites.

The conversation went on throughout the meal, never becoming slow or awkward. "Bex is an amazing photographer," Bowie told his parents. "She's really talented."

"How wonderful," Cookie said. "What's your favorite subject to photograph?"

"People, mostly," Bex told her. "That's actually how I met Bowie. I took a photo of him."

"He's always been photogenic," Bowie's mom said proudly. "I was always snapping pictures of him when he was little. I should show you the albums later!"

"I'd love to see them!" Bex said, glancing at Bowie, who blushed.

****

After the meal was over, Cookie stood up. "Who's ready for dessert?"

"I am," Bowie announced, patting his stomach.

His mother brought a platter to the table. "These are my specialty. Name cookies!"

Bex looked down at the cookies on the platter. "Wow! These are almost too beautiful to eat!" And they were. She and Bowie's- Steven's- full first names were spelled out in frosted sugar cookies. She'd never seen anything like them.

"I know you prefer to be called Bex, honey," Bowie's mom told her. "But then your cookie would be awfully short." She patted Bex's shoulder.

"I don't mind if you call me Rebecca," Bex told her. "And I'd never complain about a bigger cookie."

"I like this girl," Cookie told her son, chuckling. "Bring your cookies into the other room, and I'll break out the baby pictures."

Bex and Bowie took their cookies and followed Bowie's mom to the living room, where she produced a stack of albums and set them on the coffee table with a thud. "Here's we go. Have a seat, kids."

They sat down on either side of her, and she put the first album in her lap and opened it. Bex nibbled the 'R' in her name, and looked down at the photos. They began with the day Bowie was born. He was a pudgy baby, with a full head of hair. And they followed him through toddler-hood, to only recently. Bex laughed at one of him playing a toy guitar naked when he was about two. "You were so cute," she smiled.

"Wasn't he?" Cookie gushed. "Of course, he still is. Here. This one is my favorite!" She pointed at a snapshot of Bowie laying on a furry rug as an infant, naked once again. "He hated clothes when he was little," she laughed.

"You had a cute butt," Bex teased. She was now munching on the 'B' in her name.

"This is so embarrassing," he groaned.

It was getting late by the time they were through with Bowie's photo history. "I should really be getting home," Bex lamented.

"Okay," Bowie said. "Just let me grab my keys." He hurried off to his room.

"Thanks again for having me, Cookie," Bex told Bowie's mom. "I hate to leave. I had a great time."

"You're welcome here any time, sweetie," Cookie told her, giving her hand a squeeze. "You think of this as your second home, and me your second mama."

Bex felt a brief sting of guilt for silently wishing Cookie were her first mama. "I will," she promised, as Cookie grabbed her up in another hug.

Bowie came back into the room. "You ready to head out?"

"Yeah," she nodded. She waved to Mr. Quinn. "It was nice to meet you."

"You too," he said, with a Bowie-like smile.

"Drive safely, kids," Cookie called after them.

****

Bowie parked on the curb in front of Bex's house. "I really had fun tonight."

"Me too," she agreed. "I love your family, and your house. Everything was so great."

Bowie smiled, stroking her hair softly. "Do you want me to walk you to the door?" he asked, as he usually did.

"No, that's okay," she said. "I'll be fine."

"Have you thought any more about me meeting your family soon?"

Bex chewed her lip nervously. "My parents are pretty busy, but I'll try to set something up." She noticed the slightly hurt look on his face, and she leaned in to kiss him.

Bowie kissed her back, seeming to forget the subject at hand. "Have a goodnight."

"You too," she smiled, giving him one more kiss, before hurrying off.

****

The following week, Bowie told Bex he had something special he wanted to show her. He was pretty vague about their plans, only telling her to dress warmly, but she knew it was probably something great, and she was excited. So she stuffed her pillows under her covers and climbed out the window as usual, and met him at the curb.

"So where are we going?" she asked him.

"It's a surprise," he told her with a smile. "But I think you'll like it." He drove outside of town, past the school and the park, and up a curving mountain road.

Finally, when they reached a wide cliff that overlooked Shadyside, he parked. "Here we are," he smiled. "I heard about this place from one of the guys in the band. Just look at the view."

"It's beautiful," Bex admitted. In the distance, the town twinkled below them like fairy lights. It looked small enough to fit in a snowglobe.

"I know this is a make-out spot," Bowie told her. "But I promise I didn't bring you her to get into your pants, or whatever."

"You're such a gentleman," Bex teased. "So why did you bring me here?" She reached for his hand, squeezing it.

"So we can look at the stars," he told her. He got out of the car, and took a telescope from the trunk. Bex followed, taking a blanket and a picnic basket to a grassy spot.

"In my old town, there was a planetarium," Bowie told her as he set the telescope. "I used to go there almost every week, and just sit, and stare, and think. It was an awesome place. But this is even better." He gestured to the night sky.

They took turns looking through the telescope, Bowie pointing out the constellations he knew. Then he spread out the blanket, and they sat down on it. He opened the picnic basket, and produced a thermos of cocoa, since it was a chilly night. Bex lay her head on his shoulder as they stared up. "So, what did you think about when you used to go to the planetarium?"

He shrugged. "Just... life. My existence. The universe."

"That's pretty deep," she said. He never ceased to surprise her.

"Do you ever think about those kinds of things?" he asked her.

"Not really," she admitted. "Questioning my existence kind of scares me, I guess."

"Why?"

"I don't know," she said softly, taking a sip from her mug. "It just makes me feel insignificant, vulnerable. I don't like to think about my mortality."

"But there's so much more to it than that," Bowie told her. "Did you know we're made of the same stuff stars are made of? Think about how amazing that is. We're part of those millions of stars up there, and they're part of us. There are so many mysteries to this life. But I like knowing that even though we're just tiny specks compared to the universe, we're all a part of a bigger picture. That there's someone or something out there, wiser than us, who's guiding us along with the moon and the planets."

"I never thought of it that way," Bex realized "You make it all sound so magical." She held up her cocoa mug. "To the universe?"

Bowie smiled, clinking his mug against hers. "To the universe."

She moved closer to him for warmth, and he embraced her rubbing her back in slow circles. He leaned in to softly kiss her neck, then moved to her lips.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered when they parted. She reached up to stroke his jawline with her thumb.

"I'm thinking that I never felt so connected to anyone as I do to you right now," he told her. "I feel like I've known you my whole life."

"Me too," she admitted.

He gave her a shy look. "Bex, there's something I need to tell you. I've wanted to tell you for a while, but the timing was never right." He broke their gaze, looking down.

Bex swallowed hard. "What is it?"

He looked back up. "Bex, I love you. I've loved you since the day we met. I know we haven't been together very long, but I can't imagine my life without you anymore. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Tears sprung to Bex's eyes, and she looked away to hide them. For the briefest moment, she had been afraid this was a breakup talk. It was so hard to read Bowie sometimes. He could either be light and joking, or intensely serious. He was unpredictable. She was so relieved, and so happy that he felt the same way she did.

"Are you okay?" Bowie winced. "Don't tell me I messed things up between us."

She shook her head. "No, Bowie. It's not that." she locked eyes with him once again. "Bowie, I love you too."

"You do?" he asked, taking her hand. "Because I know it's a big deal. I don't want to pressure you to say it back if you're not ready."

"Bowie!" she said, quieting him. "I don't know about this Universe stuff of yours. But if there is some force out there, guiding us all... I know it brought us together. I love you. I've never been so sure of anything. I want to shout it to the world." She glanced at the edge of the cliff and smiled. "In fact, I will."

She hopped to her feet, and ran to the edge, looking down at Shadyside. She could see her house and school from where she was standing. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled at the top of her lungs, "I'm in love with Bowie Quinn!"

Bowie hurried to her, laughing. "So we're in love? It's official?"

She nodded as he picked her up and spun her around. "We're in love!"

Bowie looked deep into her eyes, and she looked into his. And their lips met in a frantic kiss.

"You're so cold," Bowie said when they parted.

Bex shivered, noticing it for the first time. "A little."

He slipped out of his jacket. "Here. Put this on." He helped her into it, then pulled her close, hugging her. "Let's get you home."

****

Bex had gotten home later than usual. As soon as she kissed Bowie goodbye, she hurried through her yard, and edged around the side of her house to the back window, where the trellis stood. She was tired, and she wasn't looking forward to the precarious climb, even though she was getting used to it. Taking a deep breath, she found a foothold for one boot, then the other, beginning her ascent up.

"Bex!" a voice hissed behind her.

She turned, gripping the thin slats of wood. "Bowie! What are you doing here?"

"What's going on?" he asked. His face filled with hurt and confusion, then knowing. "Is this why you never let me walk you to your door?"

#andi mack #bex mack #bowie quinn #falling in love with you #fanfiction

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