#what do i even tag this to not lose it lol……..
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DONT freak out, but ive always wondered what would happen if i died like how would the people in my cellphone (u) know?! like who would let YOU guys know? one day id just disappear to never come back! so……. in case that happens and because i have a favor to ask, im making this post, if i ever disappear from here, here are all my socials:
instagram
facebook
tiktok
pinterest
storygraph
letterboxd
those are all i can think of atm will update if necessary, so if i ever stop posting on EVERYWHERE it means im gone… some of u also have me on whatsapp so u can just ask me there ig, if i don’t answer, also gone. so, for when that happens i just wanna let u know that i love u, i met some of the most wonderful people here, ive made some truly great friends, and it doesn’t even matter if we never spoke, u are part of this space and this space has been so important to me over the course of a decade so far, an entire CHUNK of my life has been plastered here, u guys have seen my SOUL, some things i haven’t even told my closest friends and i will never ever forget u!
now for the favor part, u guys know i don’t speak to my best friend anymore, and maybe this won’t be necessary, but if i die unexpectedly and can’t tell her this myself please let her know that i love her and that she was the closest thing i ever had to a soulmate and i wish we could’ve grown old together and i never stopped loving her even if i stopped liking her, she’s the family i never had and im sorry for not being there unconditionally. i don’t wanna dox her but i trust u guys won’t message her until im dead lol so this is her facebook. also please tell her to tell angel what everyone already knows 🙄 that he was really the love of my life that i never loved anyone ever again whatever ૮–ﻌ – ა she’ll know what to say 🙄 im not giving u HIS socials tho lmao i don’t trust u guys THAT much. ok that’s all cheers! u can put this in ur drafts in case you’re ever curious if im dead lol love u mean it mwah!
#what do i even tag this to not lose it lol……..#💀#FUCK I HAVE TO MAKE THIS REBLOGGEABLE FOR U TO BE ABLE TO SAVE IT#OK DO NOT FUCKING REBLOG THIS!!!!!!!
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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cute bad ass
#vee queued to fill the void#taking a moment away from the kuukou deep dive brainrot to do some kuukou simping instead lol#as always lol arb beat me to drawing kuukou feeding animals myself#but if kuukou feeds the elderly and has candy in his pockets for children (highkey for himself too lol)#you can bet your ass he’d feed the strays that visit his temple or share his sardines with froggies on the side of the road 😭😭😭😭#crying over that sudden scratch card where a new cat comes to visit his temple and kuukou can tell it was a new visitor 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#he doesn’t name them but i think it would be very funny if kuukou decided to name the cats visiting his temple after buddhist gods lol#orange tabby: *meows at kuukou for a snack*#kuukou: yooooo jogaishou bosatsu!!!!!!!!!! what’s up it’s been forever want some of my shitty dad’s tofu??????? :D#😌😌😌😌 and then on the flip side it’s page that haunts my every waking moment LOL#kuukou is so fcking COOL lol even when he loses you get the sense he never lost lol#i’m tempted to just start screaming for five straight tags but to quell that urge lmao#i’m going to make this about ichikuu lmao remember how ichiro in ohayo ikebukuro said he likes strong people who never lose lol????#they ended that bat vs mtr battle with the comment from jakurai i think that this battle didn’t feel like it was their victory#which means kuukou hasn’t truly lost so that makes him even more of ichiro’s type—
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Finally made a Parapluesch OC, introducing Mama Oz ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#Parapluesch#Do I need to tag all of them? I don't want to so I won't lol#I can tag my original I guess :P#Mama Oz#She's based on this absolutely ridiculous and darling object I found at the same place I got my new-to-me video games haha#So apparently in the 60s this specific type of - magazine rack? in the shape of a kangaroo?? was made??#Ridiculous. So ostentatious. I fell in love immediately and had to make her into a Parapluesch#Like as soon as I laid eyes on her standing there I was like ''Oh you're from Die Anstalt'' - Instantly started filling in her backstory#Mama Oz's deal is your classic Stages of Grief - in her case from losing a child#Since she's a plush she never had an actual baby but she lost Her Child if you get me - she stopped being played with#And so she projects that grief onto others and adopts them in an attempt to get Her Child back#Except if this new relationship isn't within that framework then she rejects it and goes to the next one#She doesn't really realize that she's inconveniencing them by trying to adopt them and limiting herself from forming lasting connections#Not allowing change or growth - stagnating and trying to reclaim something lost#One of my favourite parts of Die Anstalt is that each of them is shown to have flaws#They still need and are deserving of help! But their uglier symptoms aren't shied away from#Dolly and Lilo use self-harm as a coping mechanism#Sly is shown to seek out the high at times and be short and destructive#Dub takes pride in his overwork#Kroko is surly and prickly#Don't even get me started on Dr. Wood lol#So it's fun to imagine what Mama Oz would be doing to - even by accident! - harm herself or others#The whole point of helping them is for them to become their best most comfortable selves :D#I also think what's especially funny is that I've been Meaning to make a Parapluesch OC for /years/ now#I always planned for it to be a Gender Dysphoria diagnosis since that's in the DSM and I had a design and route planned and everything#No. Kangaroo magazine rack. Okay#Lol
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"work wife"???? But not actual wife??
LOL no not actual wife! Both the work wife and I have actual husbands instead 🤭🤭 And my husband is JUST as crazy as I am and WILL do farther daytrips like the absolute insane mans he is! Which is one of the MANY reasons I married him--his weirdness matches my weirdness 💖💖💖💖💖
As a fun fact, the craziest day trip/road trip we have done: we went to IKEA about two ish hours away. Came home, realized upon unloading new bedframe that he had misplaced his wallet somewhere. So what did we do?
WELL IKEA was closed but you bet your ass we got BACK in the car and drove BACK to the pit stop (an hour?? ish?? away??) that VERY night and checked the trash there and asked the people inside (who were sups friendly! They checked the tapes for us and everything!) if they'd seen it. They hadn't! So, we drove BACK home and the next day, after work, we yeeted ourselves into the car and drove BACK to ikea to see if they had it
AND THEY DID!
He was so relieved and then we had IKEA hot dogs for dinner, his treat bc he had his wallet again 🤭🤭🤭 (they are pretty good but costco ones I think deffs are better!)
BUT YEAH. My actual spouse is just as unhinged as I am and I love him about it 😍😍😍😍😍😍
#dani answers#wizardshark#BUT YEAH!#anyway i get that a lot of people are like 'work spouse culture is literally insane and weird' and that is CORRECT#it CAN BE! and rest assured that we are NOT#tbh a good like 30% of our time spent together is gushing about our spouses lol#anyway she's so fucking cool it's not even funny and when i told her that she was like WHAT i am NOT cool YOU'RE cool#and i was like DING DONG YOU ARE WRONG and then friendship lol#she is very cool tho. she calls richard chard#he and i think it's fucking HILARIOUS#she's so cool and talented and i miss her bc we haven't hung out in like WEEKS bc of the horrors (i keep getting SICK)#and also bc her department moved back to the building they were in post-reno. so we didn't lunch as per the usual bc she was busy aF#and she's going on vacay for like two weeks now#she's so sweet too! she got me skin tone markers for my BDAY! i'd mentioned it off hand once or twice and this bitch REMEMBERED#her husbando is also v funny lol. gr8 cook too! and a gossipy little guy which is HILARIOUS bc so is chard lmao#anyway sorry for going off in the tags!! i have been home sick too long and am LOSING IT#if im not well enough for work tomorrow i'm gonna explode. i cant keep doing NOTHING it's driving me BATTY#(but at least I'm feeling better and resting up and such lol)
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I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, I'm becoming unhinged about Transformers again,,,
#i just. man#first of all i was super into it when i was younger. optimus prime has long been a projectable (and ratchet too‚ from tfp)#but even that's like more recent. when i was SEVEN i was running around in circles to the transformers 1980 theme and re-binging the movie#(autism? what? who? where? but fr it was like a daily thing p much where me and my brothers would just lose it to that song. good ol' days)#transformers#for the search function lol. anyways back to the ramble: the obsession started young and continued throughout my teenage years#the transformers prime version was ABSOLUTELY peak and clears every time. still SO good my brothers and i binged the heck out of that too#but i don't think we ever got to watch the movie??? or maybe it was season 3??? either way i remember being like WHAT OPTIMUS IS EVIL???#and never getting resolution which i still need to do (also reminding me of clone wars...never did finish that one and still not spoiled)#anyway yeah the nintendo 3DS transformers prime game was yet another staple of my childhood. fave main was optimus obvs#but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me#and that version of me feels like so long ago...my own orion pax in a way#11-year-old me checking out giant lore books and speeding through them (i need to find this one book!! it's been years!!#it was the first transformers tome i ever read and told the story of orion pax!! and i vaguely remember the cover? but not the title! help!)#ANYway yes just feeling a lot of feelings and. i love transformers#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#kay has a party in the tags#also if you're reading this: i voted and you should too!!!
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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DAMN I GOT TIRED… did this today, got lazy half way through.. Messon’s owned by HuskiesCanFly on art fight, check them out. I’ll probably have some random doodles later tonight, but don’t count on it- honestly super tired today
edit: I actually did this drawing on magma ignore the absolutely garbage quality
#art fight#artists on tumblr#undertale oc#what else do I tag#art#I Always lose motivation to do art fight when people don’t even comment on your attacks#Like.. I don’t mean to be that person but the lack of acknowledgement sucks you know??#but I get a lot of points for doing the attacks in the first place so.. i still do them lol#kat learns how to draw
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i did it. i did the funny thing-
"man shook you're real late to this trend" look man i started this a month and a half ago but then uh.
decided to take things a bit too far-
anyways, i modded peppino into 100% orange juice, it's fully functional with voicelines and you can get it on the steam workshop here (plus there's a few other things i changed but well... those are a surprise :]
#pizza tower#100% orange juice#peppino#peppino spaghetti#tomomo#marie poppo#what a fucking combination of tags lmao#truly the crossover no one but me and like 3 of my friends wanted ckjbvhkc#you know what the best part is? i have no clue if im even the first to do this (mod peppino into 100% oj i mean)#i never checked bc i knew if i did and there was already one well. i would lose all motivation lol#but aw well who cares lol#i had fun that's all that matters :]#anyways this took way too long and way too much effort lol. i streamed myself playing it on april fools tho so go give that a watch if you#want ig-#anyways. uhhh 2nd pizza tower doodle page soon hopefully-#shook arts#so for all i know this is completely redundant
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hi :) so the reason for the "xtian" thing is that christ means "anointed one" or essentially messiah (which also means anointed one). in judaism recognizing jesus as the messiah is considered basically heresy and so a lot of religious jews avoid saying "christ." so we substitute the x instead.
that’s good to know and I’m glad you told me because I had no idea about that
however unfortunately the way xistian has/ is being used especially online it often leaves a bad taste in our mouths it to put it lightly
Someone describe it like an Australian or British person calling Americans yanks it sounds derogatory even if it’s not being used in a derogatory
I have suggested something like cross believers or something like but you know not many people would know what that means so 🤷♀️ ( also don’t worry about us getting to mad at the whole xstian thing we rarely get upset over stuff especially if it’s online the worst that would happen is we’d be a little annoyed and as long your not harassing us were not going to do much about it )
#What…. what do I even tag this as#Nothing I guess lol#also for those outside of the us yankee was a thing the British called us when we threw their tea overboard#And in classic American fashion we used their insult against them#We basically said “ lol look at these people they are losing so badly that they are calling us name “
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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i just saw someone say that "the vast majority of the userbase is complaining" about tumblr's recent layout change. i see this a lot after a change: people complaining about it (sometimes without saying what about it is bad, making it sound like either it's self-evident (it usually is not) or just that it's bad because it's change and change is always bad) and saying that everyone else is complaining about it too. i don't know how to tell you this but a) you don't follow every user on tumblr so how can you possibly know what "everyone" or "the majority of users" thinks about anything and b) ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO FEEL VERY STRONGLY ARE TALKING ABOUT IT!! people who are not bothered are not spending time posting about how unbothered they are! please look up "selection bias" and stop making me read this nonsense with my own eyeballs.
#i don't get what's so bad abt this change bc it doesn't bother me & no one is explaining it! the most i've seen is it's 'like twitter'#which people don't like i guess bc this might imply that tumblr could be taking more cues from twitter than just the layout?#which is also fallacious reasoning#some changes i do hate. like for instance the change that made it so i can no longer click to the version that someone rbed from#which breaks the prev tag culture :(#but some changes are whatever! and some changes are good even!!#it's fine if it takes time to get used to something being different of course but it seems like the reaction on here can be so extreme#so fast. 'bombard the app with 1-star reviews!!!!' how about you give it a couple weeks and maybe you'll calm down.#i think there's a sense of 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' but it is broke though! tumblr is unsustainable and they gotta do stuff to make#the site more attractive and easier to use for new users. they can do that without losing what makes tumblr tumblr#the layout is not what makes tumblr tumblr! the functionality is. and sometimes that does change for the worse#and i get having complaints about that. but not really about moving the location of some buttons#anyway i haven't said anything before because i don't have strong feelings about this UX change but i DO have strong feelings about#the vague yet very forceful complaints about the UX change that i keep seeing lol#tumblr#fallacies#anyway don't get distracted by my tags. this post is not really about me not understanding what's so bad about this specific change#it's about people who hate a change assuming that everyone agrees with them because they're only seeing the reactions from#a biased subset of the userbase#(by biased i don't mean the users are biased. i mean the sample is biased...it's highly likely to include people who feel strongly#and unlikely to include people who are neutral or feel less strongly)
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genuinely always so shocked to see mirei hate. like literally god forbid women do anything.
#y5 haters in general... does playable haruka mean nothing to you...#DOES SHINADA TATSUO MEAN NOTHING TO YOU...#for legal reasons this is a joke people are allowed to feel however they want about whatever it's just viddy games#and i fully acknowledge y5 and its litany of flaws#of which there are certainly enough for any given individual to justifiably dislike/hate its entirety but I AM A Y5 LOVER THRU AND THRU#saejima's arc is just an arguably less interesting rehash of the one he had in 4?#(jail; jailbreak; betrayed by his lil buddy guy#but now we're sans the interesting character stuff of his feelings regarding the hit. & also i miss his hair.#& that's not even to say i think saejima is boring in y5 i think there's some interesting subtext to take away from his character#unique to this entry but it's pretty hard to deny how much is literally just y4 again but now he's bald)#BUT WHO GAFS he got buffed to hell gameplay-wise and punches bears now#and also baba's a great character and he doesn't have to do a whole chase minigame if a cop sees him anymore#bloated/unfocused feeling in general to the game?#WELL THAT'S JUST MORE CONTENT BABY!!! only a real issue if you're a completionist imo#+ are u telling me you don't wanna drive a taxi? u don't wanna play a video game in which the goal is to drive as normally as possible?#and i loveeeee multiple protagonists yay <3 y0 y4 and y5 are my favs so far lol (up to y6)#kiryu's inclusion in y5 also feels way more justified than in y4. he was so tacked on there i'm trying to remember what he even really did#other than tiger dropping as a boss fight before instantly forgetting how to tiger drop the second he became playable#and losing track of yasuko and getting tag-teamed by akiyama and tanimura (cough) and beating up daigo#but in exchange akiyama becomes the protag that feels kinda tacked on in y5. way less so than kiryu in y4 tho for sure#anyway. weird/strangely justified plot beats? WELL THAT'S JUST EVERY YAKUZA GAME#an arguably strange/poor writing choice for majima especially given how he ended up being written in y0?#well honestly other than the age thing i think it makes him more interesting... he's kinda fucked up!#but i do get why people are /really/ not a fan of it. ik i just said i think it makes him more interesting but if it gets retconned#or even just never mentioned again i wouldn't be surprised tbh and i wouldn't say that i'd mind either#but additionally he's not even a major character in y5 so it feels like it's not really a significant complaint imo#anyway anyone can do this ('this' being acknowledging the flaws of a thing and then letting how much they otherwise enjoy#said thing determine how much they let said flaws influence their overall opinion) ...such is the beauty of subjectivity... i love you.#contra.txt#yakuza
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Was doing some cursory research about low concentration salicylic as an over-the-counter acne treatment (been having a flare-up, likely due to a combo of stress and shifting environmental factors, and since I'm a terrible skin picker I'm trying to find ways to avoid giving myself scarring without needing to visit a doctor) and as I was scrolling through the Wikipedia page I learned from the epidemiology section that acne apparently affects women slightly more than men:
...and I don't know why, but this really struck me.
I guess I grew up with the belief, picked up from the culture and media around me, that acne was this "greasy teenage boy" problem, in some way inherently unfeminine. I didn't really think boys got it more than girls, I figured that was a stereotype, but I kind of assumed the stats were pretty much equal. And back when I still thought I was a girl, I felt worse about my own acne, since it felt like yet another way I was performing girl/womanhood incorrectly.
Finding out it's actually slightly more common in (cis) women is throwing me for a loop, even though it rightly shouldn't be - that's a very neutral and harmless fact! But you never see acne treated as just a feature of a teenage girl's face, it's always something awful that needs to be fixed (never mind that in real life, you often can't "fix" acne completely, can only manage it). That's not to say it's treated as something positive in boys either - usually boys with acne are also treated as undesirable, be that a loveable nerd or just a creepy loser - but I'm not sure I've ever even seen a girl character with even moderate acne (like I had at that age, though it certainly felt severe at the time) on screen.
I took isotretinoin for my acne in school, which is a pretty powerful medication that is highly effective at stopping acne but also comes with some serious risks - I had to take regular blood tests when I was on it to make sure it wasn't killing my liver. Due to my (mentioned before on this blog, lol) massive phobia of all things medical and spiky, I fainted for every single one of these. On top of that, it increased my already very high (I'm about as white as you can get) sensitivity to sun, so I couldn't go out even on cloudy days without suncream. And it causes birth defects, so they kept making me take supervised pregnancy tests "just in case" for months, until I changed dermatologists and the new one was like "what? why? no, you don't have to do those, just sign a thing saying you're not sexually active and it's not our fault if you're lying about that and you're chill".
It was a Lot, is what I'm saying.
Isotretinoin isn't the first port of call for treating acne - my GP tried several topical solutions and two different kinds of antibiotics (one of which I was allergic to, which naturally, me being me, I discovered by fainting about it. Again. in music class, this time) before finally referring me to the dermatologist who was allowed to prescribe me The Serious Drugs. Moreover, I stand by my decision! I wasn't pressured into taking it by family or friends, I was allowed to make my own choices, and going through all that rigmarole was absolutely my choice.
...I might even have taken the same choice if I'd lived in a society without all this weird stuff around acne, to be honest. As mentioned at the top of the post, I have a skin picking problem and acne not only doesn't help with that, it was causing me actual pain.
But also. I don't know. The societal stuff didn't help at all. My dermatologist suggested at the time that insecurity about my acne might be contributing to my chronic neck and upper back pain, of all things (much like the acne, something that started in my teens but hasn't stopped since I left them), since it might be making it harder for me to stand up straight with confidence. I laughed the idea off at the time, but now... I don't know. It could certainly have been a contributing factor.
I wish I had a call to action here, but I don't really know what can be done about this, especially not at the individual level. This is a societal gender discrimination issue, and I guess an ableism issue as well? I wouldn't normally call my acne a disability, but it is certainly a medical condition, and it does affect my life (and acne can certainly be the basis of unconscious discrimination, though I'm very grateful that that hasn't been something I've faced personally). If anyone has any more productive suggestions, feel free to add them onto this post. And I guess, put characters with acne in your stories? Including women, and including adults! 5% is one in twenty. One in every twenty 40+ year old women (according to that cited study, anyway, which I can't currently verify because my institutional access is fucking broken again) still "have problems" with acne. That might be worth representing.
#asdfjklklhhll no idea what to put here#normally i put all my opinions in the tags but this time my opinions are in the post#acne sucks and if i could press a button to remove it from the world entirely tomorrow i probably would#not fair to peoples bodily autonomy i know but also there are very very very few people who WANT to have acne#and i suspect that would be true even without the societal pressure. it's annoying and has basically no upsides#however. it drives me fucking spare the way we barely depict it in stories. and even when we do it's almost always to signify a villain#or the classic “teenage girl gets one (1) pimple and screams loud enough to take the roof off about it'' story which i HATE#it speaks to a very real fear and anxiety teen girls experience about this stuff but#a) does so with very little sympathy to the girls in question. instead potraying them as vain#and b) I'm sorry. you mean to tell me you think teen girls are shocked or horrrified at the concept of a pimple?#even if it's mild they get at least one of those a week. they're not screaming the house down every time it happens they'd lose their voice#they might be super upset about it but it's a much more resigned sort of despair. trust me#...huh i guess i did still have some opinions left#i am the personification of the guy in xkcd 2134 lol#anyway. acne bad. send post
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Am i gonna use the heisenberg uncertainty principle in my anthropology essay in which i need to refer back to my own discipline which happens to be the exact opposite of quantum physics? You bet i am
#am i crazy or is everyone else huh. that is the question#yes im slowly losing my mind why do you ask?#the thing is. i need someone to bounce idea off but the only thing i currently have is a wall and it doesnt bounce anything#this is what happens if i cant rant about stuff lol#the essay is about migration btw#but im also gonna write a whole ass paragraph about the subjectivity of language so. i dont even know anymore#y'all i just cant get this sentence my professor said in class two weeks ago: “destroying reality in purpose of clarify” fuck yeah man#wish my essay was about that#you know what im gonna make it about that who will stop me#education is not real anyway#criminology is a joke#<- my tag for all my school related rants lmao#ramble gamble
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doctors: try to remember the depression is not you
me, internally: so do you want me to end up psychotic or
#why yes i DO sometimes get voices that are sure as hell not my own. in my head. but i KNOW they're not mine#however! sometimes i have to remember the depression is me or i start to lose my grip a bit!!#i do not know if i would actually end up with clinically significant psychosis but it sure feels like it sometimes#i cannot trust my own mind!!!#anyway. then tehy ask things like 'do you hear voices that aren't yours' and i automatically reply no LOL#scripting whoopsie#it's easier to say no when i can't even explain very well what DOES happen#and how often? who knows.#anyway!#personal#puddleglum hours#tw psychosis#<- dunno if this is hte right tag but i don't want anyone to be triggered by it#ask to tag#tw unreality
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