#what do I fuckjng do??
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I feel so fucking sick knowing I have to act civil around my parents rn. I knew their beliefs sucked and that they were brainwashed but it’s really getting to me recently. Especially because I know they have the potential to change. They have the potential to get out of this. Whenever I managed to hound them into not watching Fox News constantly (or at least more discreetly) and have a political conversation they are SO much more receptive, but after they get a dose of Fox News they’re combative and manipulative and traumatizing to talk to. Idk what to do. It’s scaring me so much. It’s changing them so badly. I want to throw out the cable, throw out their phones and Apple Watches, I want to cut them off until they can fucking detox. I feel so helpless watching them descend. I feel so fucking sick to my stomach. My dad, the worse of the two (initially) actually hugged me once for bringing to his attention the Palestinian side of the story and saying I had a much more compassionate way of thinking than his black and white style, and then went right back to listening to Fox News and not one Palestinian person ever. My mom, who tends to avoid talking politics and tends to listen better, was the one to really fuck things up for me. She caught me crying about news from Palestine and treated me like I was some hysterical basket case not in control of my brain or my responses (she kept telling me I was hyper fixated in this very like… idk clinical tone?) and told me to stay away from all news for like three days. During that time, an ad for Israel came on and I got visibly uncomfortable and moved to turn the channel. I got a very disappointed and angry “do you hate Israel that much.” In response. An instigation for a fight. She took all day to acknowledge that she started it, even after I told her “you’re the one that told me to stay away from things”. I can’t tell them “yes I hate Israel”. I’m so fucking scared and full of grief watching any potential of a real relationship remaining for them being distorted and destroyed.
#vent#I’m sorry I know this isn’t the biggest deal in the world but it’s scaring me so bad.#I’m paralyzed by this. watching my parents be fully destroyed by this and not able to fight it without jeapordizing my living situation#I want to fight them. I want to show them the evidence. but what do I do to stop them from consuming more?#what do I fuckjng do??#and I’m not the only one stuck with them. if it was just me maybe I’d risk things. but it’s not. I can’t do that to us.#I’m just. this I think one of their worst stances yet. and it’s fucking terrifying.
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Porter better have nemesis alert on because I’m coming for his ass with so much bureaucratic WRATH and ANGER and RAGEEEE and I will fucking disintegrate him.
OOOOOOOHHHHRHRHRBSBSB I can’t get over it I’ll fucking show him rage let me at him. Let mE AT ‘IM.
#dimension 20#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#Zac’s ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me’ had so much rage hiding behind it#we’ve been through some heavy and frustrating shit over the seasons but I’m dangerously close to being Actually Mad at Brennan for this#I’m gonna have a conniption. an aneurism.#I cant FUCKJNG believe OOOHHHHH the way porter points at gorgug like#that’s a C- student right there. I’ll only sign your meat if you get up to an A+#ARE YOU IGNORING HIS THREE YEARS WORRH OF A+ HES MAINTAINING RN?!?!#I GUESS NOT BC ITS NOT FOR BARBARIAN#BUT FIG CAN POKE HER HEAD IN AS A GOOF TO SKIP HER ACTUAL CLASSES AND GETS FULL CREDIT AND A SIGNATURE#and I feel like Gorgug’s section even poetically got cut short and overshadowed by fig going to his class with him#fig is right. Porter is weird about this. grossly unfairly cruelly weird#fuck I’m so mad idk what to do with myself#fhjy#gorgug thistlespring#fig faeth
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ok which one of you fuckers is going to write the sky high au where cellbit is warren peace and roier is layla williams or am i the only one here who's that flavor of crazy
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#idk why i've just been thinking abt it#not enough to do it myself mind. but still.#guapoduo#spiderbit#man what are their tags i genuinely don't know#i just kinda wanna toss this into the void and hope it lands in somebody's lap and explodes like a pipe bomb#subsequently ruining their life#anyway it's 4 am sorry guys#qsmp roier#qsmp cellbit#good enough#also i KNOW they (warren&layla) are not the canon couple but look me in the eyes#they're canon to ME#in what world does milquetoast flighty idiot will stronghold deserve layla#i mean COME ON#sorry this is not a hot take if you disagree i'm going to disembowel you#fuckjng forgot to even mention that in the og post bc my brain fully does not comprehend that this isn't canon#brother ASK ME if i care ASK ME the answer is no. it's canon sorryyyyy#sorry this is where that 4am is coming in ahaha
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i don't root for connor mcdavid's failure bc i personally want to see him suffer... i mostly root for his failure bc it forces hockey media and fans to confront the idea that you can be a phenomenal hockey player and still not singlehandedly drag your team to a cup the way you used to be capable of in this league. it's more competitive and harder and the average skill level is so much higher... it forces people with these insane mindsets to confront the fact that the best player of this generation may never get near the cup but that shouldn't diminish his talent or what he's brought to his team. not that i think it will genuinely change any of the discourse about this sport, but i wish more people would admit the luck and the randomness that needs to occur for the ultimate victory. doesn't make everyone's achievements or their dedication to the sport worthless.
#like obviously the end goal is glorious and yada yada#but the fuckjng character assassination of every man that tries and fails just bc#the timing of their slumps or hot streaks wasnt right and didnt add up#like u genuinely have the best player in the world doing insane things... not capable of getting there#WHAT IS GONNA MAKE PPL SEE THAT ITS ABOUT THE#JOURNEY AND THE SKILL AND THE RIDE AS MUCH AS IT IS THE RESULTS#the players themselves are never gonna be satisfied til they achieve it but#as fans and media.. none of us should be commenting on effort level of a game we arent out there playing ourselves#insinuating its a lack of WANTING smth... a lack of trying hard for it... like bjtch#tell that to the league mvp :) Okay goodbge#i have 38928338 thoughts on this i will neevr rest
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Every time I go to a party I'm reminded that it's not that I can't interact with people, it's just not a desire I have :(
#i always feel so guilty when ppl i just met are like wow u seem so cool! because im really not!#im good at masking and making people feel comfortable! its got nothing to do with my personality unfortunately#no version of me is as true as who i am by myself and idk i feel like a fraud for being nice?#ive had many people be disappointed when i just. dont want to hang out#im not a 1 on 1 person i hate being alone with someone#even with people i dearly cherish i just cant find myself comfortable when others are around#and its not about them either i think im just not compatible with social interactions#im not really looking for advice btw like this is just something im coming to terms with#i love people i truly do i just cannot exist properly around them#anyways fat bear supper was really nice :')#the mashed potatoes??? they were so fuckjng good like bro you dont understand#and shoutout to the ppl who made a salmon lasagna that was so good as well#friends played a beautiful beautiful song they made (if they end up putting it on spotify ill share it here its about a cow named Margot)#anyways i guess soft reminder you never know what people are struggling with regardless of how functioning they appear#(mashed potatoes recipe is as follow: unpeeled potatoes#+whole milk+butter+rosemary+thyme thats it thank u)
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i’m going to punch someone
#biting maiming killing#etc#what do you mean you can’t love your friends#are you insane#are you fucking stupid#you’re living a sad depressing little life and i pity you if you can’t find joy in platonic love#what a fuckjng idiot#ramblings of a henry
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two of them
#I FINALLY HAVE THESE!!!! FUCKJNG#i think someone divorced shu i have so many badges that i dont know what to do with now#eden rambles
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this shit is going to kill me someday
#you know its bad when even professionals are worried about you#you know its bad when it causes you distress multiple times a day and it gets unbearable sometimes#you know its bad when you cant stop yourself from crying whenever you actually try and tell someone how this shit feels#you know its bad when its lasted for months and it wont fuckjng go away#you know its bad when it makes you so exhausted you dont feel like doing much else other than sleeping anymore#you know its fucking bad when nobody‚ not ONE person can help you‚ and its not because of them#its because this shit is so bad#that nobody even knows what to do anymore.#im really tired#sorry its after 8 pm which means i get really mentally ill#dark pearls#delete later
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he’s so small
#txt#morrow is SLIGHTLY taller than him… perfect… just what i wanted#i’m just fuckjng around doing side quests and wandering around than the main story HAHAHA
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My dnd group played Descent into Avernus, which starts off in Baldur’s Gate, so along with all of the fucked-up murder dungeons beneath manors and bathhouses and everything that the module included, my group further wrecked the city when one character
planted a magic bean in the yard of a duke we hated in the Upper City, which overnight grew into a massive stalk hundreds of feet tall.
in an entirely separate incident, caused that duke’s entire manor to become enveloped in a pyramid. I am still uncertain of the mechanics and reasoning behind this.
The beanstalk was cut down before we left the city but for all I know the pyramid is just going to be a fixture in the city forever.
And another character’s mother, who lived in the Upper City, made a devil contract that among other things caused her family’s manor to magically expand in size. I also do not know how this one shook out after the mother was killed and the contract broke.
Do not purchase real estate in Baldur’s Gate. You may wake up one day to find your manor has shrunk, because the previous owner made a deal with a devil for more square footage, and the devil finally remembered that the person on the other side of the deal is dead and they don’t need to keep using their devil magic on the house.
#we made a fuckjng Mess of the upper city before we left#poor duke ravengard. we saved his ass in Avernus#and then he’s gonna come back to his city and find the upper city fucked up#and he’s gonna learn that the same adventurers who saved him and all of Elturel also did that#actually I mean. no one KNOWS we did that. but it’d be funny if the duke found out and no one else#like what’s he gonna do? we pulled a city out of hell and redeemed an archdevil. so what if we were public menaces#no one liked the vanthampurs anyway I assure you#we did the city a favor replacing their manor with a pyramid
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speaking objectively here as someone who went through hell in advertising anf production classes as a mass communication major so bear with me here but the majestic repertory theatre's promotion of their RTC prod is a very interesting case because like they have the BEST of IDEAS for tiktok and instagram reels like legitimately this might be the best promotion of a prod through that kind of media because they follow the trends and do it WELL and CREATIVELY and importantly NOT CHEESILY OR BOOMER-Y. however, their production pictures and edits leave um much room for improvement and aren't as trendily or aesthetically appealing (mainly the photos are grainy and not really framed that well to see the set design or the characters wholly) as their tiktok content so um yea very interesting case
#that being said if this production were to release a pro shot or a bootleg of the show then SIGN ME UP#because like i am really intrigued by their prod and the cast seems really cool!#especially the girls like the girls look adorable#anyways like objectively speaking majestic repertory's theatre is fuckjng outstanding in tiktok content#like they arent cheesy and they know what they are doing#however yea the pictures could have been better both um framing wise and quality wise#because if the pictures were better and if there were clips of their performance#this cast could go viral over good ass promotion because like from the tiktoks alone they can have the viral potential#but yea anyways all in all i do like thsi cast and i wanna see actual performance clips soon hopefully#majestic repertory theatre#ride the cyclone#majestic repertory theatre rtc
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bc its like. i cant Get better in this house yk. im safer here and im so thankful for that but i cant like. i cant get myself on a schedule bc nobody else has a schedule so for example if i want.to do my laundry on sundays sometimes i cant bc theres still laundry in there and ive told my mom this and stuff and she does her best but its like. i cant do that for every single thing yk
#it judt feels pointless to try to be better bc it never lasts and i cant do it like#fully in the way that i want so whats the point. i might as well just get high and rot away. yk.#ik this is a stupid fucking reaction to Being out of litter but its not about rhe fucking litter its about everything#im trying to be better at washing the dishes bc when i have my apartment im just going to wash the dishes after every meal so they dont pile#up. bc i fuckig hate piled up dishes#but i cant do that here bc everybody just piles up their dishes so even if i wash mine they always just fucking pile up anyway#i just want my apartment but im too fucking lazy to get the stupid fucking ged and to get a fucking job and i hate everything#i dont want out that badly i love being back i missed everyone so much its so much fucking better than it was but i just wish i was like#on track. you know. im so behind everybody else#the house is a fucking pigsty and nobody does anything about it because nobody else does#and we all judt fucking wallpw about it#bc even when we do manage to grt the houde clean it fuckjng gets dirty again bc nobody can do simple fucking maintenance on it#and im jncluding myself in this. theres a reason im shut up in my room majority of my time
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i’m going to throw up
#i don’t like people around me fighting and that is going to kill me#surely if i explain everyone’s side logically to the other one it will no ok we’re still mad and now i’m stressed awesome#why do i like. care so much#it feels like i am putting the most effort into this and it’s a relationship between two other people#i’m going to throw myself off a fuckjng bridge this family is never going to change#i just need it to be ok because it’s all i have and if it goes!! well let’s just say#that’s the ballgame folks#and maybe it is fucking selfish to ask them to play nice so i don’t get upset too but yknow what. it hasn’t worked anyway#everyone is the most important person#i’m at my wits fucking end and already tired and i really fucking thought. i could make some progress#i feel bad airing dirty laundry online but like. i don’t rly have anyone i can talk to who is not involved#man and i like. needed to do things this weekend. i am already burnt out from other things and i do not want to wake up tomorrow
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just made a huge mistake (<- started a long fic, somehow missed ALL THE FUCKING IMPORTANT TAGS. such as ‘no happy ending’ and ‘major character death’ and ‘horror au’)
#WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN READING A HORROR FIC#I DONT LIKE HORROR??????? I CAN BARELY TOLERATE MOVIE GORE??????????? SOMEONE HELP ME#JAYME KNOWS THIS. IM A FUCKING WIMP WHEN IT COMES TO HORROR MOVIES#im better at reading horror but like its not something i usually put myself through#i dont know how i missed these tags i really dont#i saw ‘childhood friends au’ and the summary was funny and i was like neat!!!! lets do it!!!#HOW DID I MISS EVER FUCKJNG THING ELSE IN THOSE TAGS#i tried to scroll down and read the last couple paragraphs so i could know what was coming BUT IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE OUT OF CONTEXT#SO I HAVE TO FUCKJNG READ IT#FUCK IT WE BALL I GUESS BUT LIKE#JESUS#IM UNPREPARED ITS 1AM I CANT DO THIS#AND JAYME ISNF EVEN HERE TO LISTEN TO ME YELL OH MY GOODDDDDDDDDD#IM GONNA HAVE FO SEND HIM A FUCKING EMAIL#THIS ISNT NEGATIVE BTW IM JUST SHAKING AND BEING DRAMATIC#tally txt
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i still don't fucking understand roleplay terms why can't we just discord the shit out please
#i think i get a mod is me#what is a mun#a muse#a fuckjng#other words#i did not use these words on discord what do these words mean 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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you can not get mad at someone for not adhering to rules you did not tell them btw.
#this goes out to my study abroad group#katherine “daddy’s money” ross just say you have a vendetta against me#for no particular reason#there is so much mittenladylore but that is neither here nor there#it’s ok London is a fun city even if the people i am stuck here with are primarily terrible#this ain’t even a neurodivergent thing this is just genuinely a vendetta#mfw i literally say btw i take long showers…#mfw i ask if she wants to shower before me and she never does#yet apparently found it necessary to complain to my professors about my showering#and other things that i did not know bothered her BC SHE SAID NOTHING#if u r incapable of handling ur own roommate problems without blowing them up into#Whatever the fuck this is.#then idk how u r gonna function as an adult#how am i the youngest person in this fuckjng group.#anyway FOUR WEEKS IN i now have the room to myself for the remaining SINGLE WEEK#genuinely why wait that long. girl u accepted everyone else’s follow request but mine.#what the hell did i do girl.
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