#and we all judt fucking wallpw about it
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bc its like. i cant Get better in this house yk. im safer here and im so thankful for that but i cant like. i cant get myself on a schedule bc nobody else has a schedule so for example if i want.to do my laundry on sundays sometimes i cant bc theres still laundry in there and ive told my mom this and stuff and she does her best but its like. i cant do that for every single thing yk
#it judt feels pointless to try to be better bc it never lasts and i cant do it like#fully in the way that i want so whats the point. i might as well just get high and rot away. yk.#ik this is a stupid fucking reaction to Being out of litter but its not about rhe fucking litter its about everything#im trying to be better at washing the dishes bc when i have my apartment im just going to wash the dishes after every meal so they dont pile#up. bc i fuckig hate piled up dishes#but i cant do that here bc everybody just piles up their dishes so even if i wash mine they always just fucking pile up anyway#i just want my apartment but im too fucking lazy to get the stupid fucking ged and to get a fucking job and i hate everything#i dont want out that badly i love being back i missed everyone so much its so much fucking better than it was but i just wish i was like#on track. you know. im so behind everybody else#the house is a fucking pigsty and nobody does anything about it because nobody else does#and we all judt fucking wallpw about it#bc even when we do manage to grt the houde clean it fuckjng gets dirty again bc nobody can do simple fucking maintenance on it#and im jncluding myself in this. theres a reason im shut up in my room majority of my time
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