#what can i say i like em strong sweet and stupid

[h16h-v0l7463]

gun to your head if you had to pick a member of hit boy band on-lyne to date who would it be? you CANNOT decline OR pull the trigger

hang on i gotta look up their names again…

okay good that’s who i thought that was!

ahem.

harddrive.

final answer.

[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

That Should Be Me

Pairing: Buck x Reader

Word count: ....Anyway

Notes: I'm accidentally writing requests over my two series and I really just need to double down on my series like can I please just finish something for once in my life

Eddie knows how Buck feels about you. He’s not stupid, Buck just thinks he is. 

But really Buck hasn’t exactly told him how he feels about you, but they’re best friends!! He should know!! (He does) And it’s… it’s just a stupid crush but he can’t help it, not when you drop by the station just to surprise them all, or you bring them treats, or just presents in general. You’re just so sweet, you’re apple pie sweet, you’re- you’re that ice cream sundae with the cherry on top sweet

And the worst part is when you come up to him and Eddie, and Eddie is all smooth and hands-on, he’s holding your elbow, he’s got his hand on your back, your shoulder, your side. And Buck is a complete floundering mess. He accidentally bumps into things or he bumps into you! Or last week when he literally walked into the side of the truck like an idiot. He’s still not sure how he managed that one 

Watching how smooth Eddie is with you just bothers him, and he doesn’t really know why. He doesn’t even realize just how much it bothers him until you come into the gym one day and they’re both working out. You wander over to them as he’s spotting for Eddie 

“Hey pretty thing” Eddie sets the bar down and sits up, grabbing his towel and putting it over his shoulders 

“Hi Eddie” 

That blush on your cheeks makes Buck irritated as he looks into your eyes. Why can’t he make you blush like that 

“Hey, Buck!” You give him a little wave and he nods 

“Oh hey Y/N” He turns to reset the weights and you look at Eddie, who just shrugs and stands up 

“What brings you here?” He wipes down the machine and Buck lays down next, holding the bar in his hands 

“I brought cookies” You stand a bit closer to Buck, watching as he starts bench-pressing 

“How um- how much weight would you say that was?” You ask nonchalantly and Eddie snorts and turns his head 

“325” Buck answers distractedly as he pumps it slowly, he misses the way you wet your lips 

Eddie doesn’t 

“Yeah, he’s really strong, like super strong!  Do you see his muscles? My man” 

Buck laughs and has to put the bar back for a second so he doesn’t drop it and immediately kill himself 

“Oh shut up, it’s not that impressive!” 

“Come on buddy, we want that gun show!” Eddie taunts him and he rolls his eyes, before doing as Eddie asks and flexes for both of you. You can’t help your mouth dropping open as you look at his arms 

They’re nice 

Stupid nice 

Eddie looks at you gleefully and takes your hand “Oh you know you wanna touch em” 

“Oh my god, Eddie” you laughed embarrassedly but didn’t exactly stop him when he puts your hand on Buck's bicep. He wriggles his eyebrows and you nearly die as you squeeze his arm 

“Yup! Those…those are very- very big- a-arms” You yank your hand away and hold it to your chest “Hey I um- I have to uh- I forgot- shit bye???” You spin on your heel and run right out of the room and Buck sighs 

“I think I upset her…She’s never gonna like me is she?” Buck flops back on the bench and drags his hands over his face. 

And truly? Eddie has to fight choking his ass out. 

Everything about his not jealousy seems to come to a culmination tonight though. You show up tonight in a simple black dress with spaghetti straps, sheer black tights, and a pair of boots. Hen invited you for drinks along with the rest of the team and he’s been watching the waiter flirt with you the entire damn time you’ve been there. And you’re nice about it, with your polite smiles and pretty words… but it just gets under his skin when he passes you his number on a napkin. 

He doesn’t know what comes over him, as everyone stares at him in shock. But here he is, your chin cupped in his hand, his lips pressed to yours in an incredibly heated kiss, he ignores the gasps around him as he pulls you closer to him, His hand trailing over your neck and pushing the back of your head into him more. Your hands snake up his chest and you hold his face… like you’re actually enjoying this just as much as he is. He balls up that stupid napkin and throws it over to Eddie, the way he’s holding onto you now is possessive. He may have to compete with Eddie, But he’s damn sure not competing with this guy too, hell no. 

He pulls away, keeping his face close to yours, and kisses your nose, you giggle and nip at his lips and he pulls you to him by your waist. Eddie picks up the napkin with the number on it and hands it back to the waiter 

“I don’t think she’ll be needing this” 

Buck's hands start to wander, a bit quicker than really appropriate for public but he doesn’t care, he just wants to feel you. His hands slide under your dress, touching your soft skin and he groans appreciatively 

“Uh…Buck? Y/N?” Chimney is holding his drink to his lips as they all stare at you two. Buck is pushing you against the booth and you’re bringing your leg up around his waist and clawing at his shirt 

“Do something” Hen smacks Eddie’s leg and he rolls his eyes

“Why me?!” He pulls out his phone and makes a call while rubbing his brow. Suddenly Buck’s phone starts ringing and you reach into his back pocket and pull his phone out 

“Hello?” You pant as he attacks your neck, leaving a messy trail of hickeys, you listen for a second, your cheeks flushing 

“It’s for you” You hold his phone to his ear and Eddie rolls his eyes 

“Oh really? His phone ringing is for him?” You toss your straw paper at him and he snickers 

“Uhhhh hey Cap….uh huh… uh huh… uh huh okay bye” 

He hands you back the phone and you place it in his pocket. He pulls away from you, his cheeks flushing as he sits up and helps you straighten out your dress 

“What did he say,” Eddie asks, looking down into his drink 

“He said if I didn’t stop he’d have me on toilet duty for a month” 

You giggle as you take a sip from your drink, your body is on fire now, every brush of his skin against yours just fuels it more and more and you’re ready to pounce 

“So we gonna address that or??” Hen gestures and you shrug 

“That’s up to Buck. Maybe he’ll finally ask me out” 

“Wait you like me too?!?!” 

[thesassypadawan]

Make Them Blue (Hayden x FemReader) *Blurb*

Summary: It’s No Nut November and a certain moose was too polite to tell his friends no this year to their stupid, little bet.  Somehow managing to make it through almost the whole month, he finally caves after getting a taste of a major adrenaline rush.  Wanting more of that electrifying feeling and thrill.

Warnings: 18+ (mdni), because there sooo much of the smut.  Fun from behind (giddy up), semipublic smex, slightly dom moose, car abuse, and, as always… Hayden’s big, fat dick.

Notes: Happy No Nut November all you, lovelies! 🤍💙

- Roughly shoving, pinning you easily in place with his larger body.  Gaze locks with his in the windshield’s faint reflection.  “Ha-Hay, no…”  Watching him fiddle with the delicate, red string.  Lazily take another long, slow drag.  “S-stop it…”  Before tossing, grinding the cig out on the concrete floor; cloud of smoke circling his head like a halo.  “Wha-what about you-your be-” 

- “Shut up…”  Ripping your lacey panties, slapping your pussy.  Long fingers wrap, squeeze the back of your neck.  Pressing your cheek against the car’s warm hood, plush bottom rising into the air.  “Screw the bet…”

- Cool breeze wafts in through the open garage door.  “Not her-here though…”  Kissing, making goosebumps form on your exposed skin.  A pathetic whimper falls from your lips, beads of slick and pre coating the back of your legs.  “Some-someone can walk in on u-us…”

- “Don’t care…”  Hayden hisses in your ear; bitter- sweet scent of tobacco on his breath, clinging to his fire suit.  Strong hand gripping, kneading the soft flesh of your handle.  Bulbous head pushing, prodding at your little hole.  “Not worrying about that right now, angel…”

- Tears of embarrassment sting, fill the corners of your eyes.  “I-I am…”  Weak sob escaping you when he rolls his hips into yours, trying to surge forward.  “I don't want t-to…”  Only met with resistance as you clench down on him.

- Growling low, cock twitching in frustration.  “Shit…”  Lightly calloused fingertips pinch your fat, descend and trail.  Firmly grabbing hold of your thick thigh, hiking it up onto the smooth metal.  “Relax…”  So he can bully, force you to take him deeper.

- Lewd sound of your juices squelching, heavy balls slapping wetly float through the still air.  “Too tight…”  Along with your high-pitched whines, the squeak of your skin.  Dragging forward and back across the sleek surface; from his wild, unbridled thrusts.  “So fucking tight…”

- “Keep…fuck…”  Nails scramble, scratch frantically.  Flaking off some of the decals, embedding remnants of your pearly polish in the finish.  As Hay practically rearranges your insides.  “Keep squeezing me like this…”

- “And you’re going to…”  Feeling him throb, gummy walls cling desperately to his long length.  Poor cunny aches, burns from the familiar stretch; clamps impossibly harder. “Going to make me…”

- Slamming, putting his entire weight behind that last, hard drive.  Knocks the air and a cry from your lungs, makes something buckle beneath.  While pumping, flooding you with his pent-up load.  Overflowing, dripping down the now bent hood…trickling to the floor, mixing with his cigarette ashes.  “Cum.”

(Extra: He would totally light another one up afterwards.  Stuffing your torn panties into his suits pocket.  Saying with a cocky ass grin…  “Now that’s podracing.”  Before putting that sexy, black helmet on.  The one you’ll end up begging him to keep on later when you’re on your back, legs spread wide open…just like he told you to.)

Tag List: @espinathena-17, @myheartwillgoon2022, @laylaplease, @princessswifie, @kenobiskywalker16, @loverforoldermen, @jediavengers, @anisangeldust, @fredswrite, @xhunnybeeex, @vaderswifey, @anakinstwinklebunny

@littlelamy, @khoatic-with-no-energy, @raiwpenl, @malinadbbdh, @strokingforyou26, @xspacexwitchx, @em-21, @hearts4sammonroe, @shouldbetakencareof2, @loxbbg, @supersoldatbarnesstuff, @thesilentreaderrrrr, @theoriginalsinner28, @dumb-slut-things, @indigoblues1207, @ald6518, @julxstrawberry, @wh0sl0ttie, @tojis-missing-arm, @xoxo-hayden-fangurl-xoxo, @theladykassia, @doblasftcisco, @morguexmvp, @f4iryjinsworld, @nyxiesstuff, @heymamasblog, @justsomeimbicel, @prettywhenicry-777, @femme-is-typing, @maddis0n4, @ttdrake, @melmurkun, @brattyyybbg, @zara13ts, @bigaoibhe2024, @neocitywhore, @ter-luer, @ladyanaschmidt, @sarahflores07,  @death934, @dovepevensie, @adorebambie, @pookiswookis, @icecoldhearts, @elliemariscal, @allievalll, @moonlxght-tyler, @1-racha, @tosterwwannie, @inejghafawifesblog, @carlgrimeswifeofficial, @hellemo666, @pitas-star, @sapphirefrog-blog, @carlgrimeseyepatch, @melonmochi, @coldcupcakedinosaur, @juli007, @skyguy8108, @frogtowne, @jennasco, @nothinspecial1000, @burnthispls666, @dovepevensie, @xxxxxxctu, @abobiwan-kenobi, @kpopperotp12, @no-yes-maybe-so

[banj0possum]

Can we get a zombie horde with a gn! Reader where their abusive family finds them again?

after years of inactivity im fucking back ! sorry for the long long wait but at least im able to put out a few more fics !

Zombie Horde!Reader's Abusive Family Finds Them Again

CW: verbal abuse, abusive family, (mentioned) being rejected food

💀 You haven't always been alone in your travels, in fact, you were with your family when the outbreak happened. But to be fair, you never liked your family..

💀 They would always bully you, boss you around, even put the blame on you whenever something bad happened, the torment didn't end even when there were zombies banging on your doors!

💀 In fact, because of the virus, they got even more cruel to you.

💀 They would take away your food rations for any small mistake you did, make you take the night watch for days on end, even send you out to get supplies just because 'you talked back that one time'!

💀 You couldn't take it anymore and left, knowing anywhere would be better than being stuck in a house of people who did nothing but torture you.

💀 You thought you were safe from them, cuddled up with Ribs in your bed as the others wandered around the abandoned mall, but it all came back when you heard a familiar voice shout out your name from the distance..

💀 "(Y/N)?! I know you're here you runt!"

💀 It was your dad...

💀 Ribs sat up as soon as he heard it and snarled, crawling out of bed and going out to see the commotion.

💀 Your heart raced as you followed him, but it was hard to walk with your body trembling at the thought of seeing him or any of your family again.

💀 "Jesus there's four of them!" "What are you waiting for you stupid bitch?! Shoot em!"

💀 It seems your mom was also there..

💀 You run the broken escalator and see the horde fighting with your family, gunshots ring throughout the mall as you see your beloveds blasted with bullets.

💀 You weren't scared though, they were dead after all, but it was still heartbreaking seeing them get hurt.

💀 You pick up a nearby rock and throw it at your dad to get his attention away from the boys. They all look at you, your family glaring at you while the horde coos at your presence.

💀 "(Y/N) you come here right this fucking second we're coming home!" Your mother shouts at you, walking over angrily and grabbing your arm strong enough to leave a red ring.

💀 Bo fumes and pulls her of you "You stay away from my mate ya hear me?!" he growls.

💀 "It talks?!" She yelps as your dad comes over as well. "Mate? Don't tell me you're hangin out with these monsters! Are you that much of a dumbass?!" he scolds you.

💀 You shrink, knowing whatever you say will make things worse..

💀 "Why you little whore.." Your dad growls, about to slap you, but Screw runs over and pushes your dad away, sending him back a few feet.

💀 Ribs and Soda smile and clap as Bo and Screw help you up.

💀 "You ok darlin?" Bo asks you in a sweet tone. "Is your arm ok? Does is hurt? Do you need a bandaid? I have a pink one with a cat on it.." Screw looks at the mark your mother gave you.

💀 You smile and assure them everything's ok.

💀 "Fucking freaks..(Y/N) do you hear me?! Get your ass up and let's go!" Your dad yells at you again as he stand up.

💀 "They're not going anywhere mean guy!" Ribs growls at him.

💀 Your mom is to the side next to Soda, she sneers at him and he looks back at her, giving her the middle finger, making her scoff and look away.

💀 In a shaky tone, you ask how they found you. You've cut off contact with them for months, there was no way they could find you..

💀 "Hah! Your dumbass thought you were just some person in the middle of nowhere? Half the state knows about your little talkin freak boyfriends!"

💀 You look down in shame as Bo and Screw comfort you "I think it's about time you folks leave..." Bo says, glaring at your parents.

💀 "Oh no you're not kicking us out! We came all this way to get this ungrateful little leech back! We gave them shelter and this is how they repay us?! You should've learned your place and stayed put!" he berates you. You finally snap and yell back at him, telling him all the things you've endured in their household, how you were treated like dirt every day, how you were much better off without them.

💀 Finally you firmly tell them to leave, pointing to the exit as you look at him with no fear left in your eyes. He scoffs "Fine..go get killed on your own then! Don't come to us for any fucking help!" he yells as he leaves, your mom in tow.

💀 Ribs laughs at them as they leave while Soda smiles at you.

💀 After the whole interaction, you were completely exhausted, the boys huddling up with you to calm you down.

💀 You give them all well-deserved kisses for protecting you, they all coo and chirp at the affection and kiss you back.

💀 "Do you still want that bandaid?" Screw asks you softly.

💀 You say yes.

this one was pretty short but expect more fics to be sent soon ! love you guys and remember that youre awesome and amazing !

[terra-ediacara]

Collection of silly (and less silly) Shadow headcanons I simply cannot live without that live in my head rent-free forever-

Fangs! Fangs, fangs, fangs- And big bone-crushing carnassials. I don't have a lot to say about this one but just, Shadow with big stupid teeth, ya'll- (plus my lesser headcanon that he snarls and growls all the time because the scientists aboard the ARK couldn't decide whether to treat him like a sophont or like a feral animal, so they chose both and also neither, leaving his instincts confused and leading to him switching wildly between proper gentleman and Resident Semi-feral Alley Cat)

This motherfucker has a sweet-tooth. Especially chocolate. Maria snuck him his first piece after a particularly rough day of procedures and he's been hooked ever since, but literally anything sweet and sugary he's so down.

He's a really good cook! Like a really good cook. He can make something tasty out of almost anything, and is the de-facto chef for Team Dark. He saw Sonic microwaving some shitty dollar-store chili exactly one (1) time, said never again, and now he makes him chili and freezes bags of it for him to use on his chili-dogs. Amy likes to rope him into helping her cook for her parties, which he grumbles about but actually enjoys himself cooking while Amy bakes.

In game/comic-verses, he's either a vegetarian or tends toward vegetarianism. This comes from the Black Arms invasion, the things he saw and did under Doom's control, he can't get the sights and sounds and tastes out of his head. There are days its so bad he can only eat the blandest foods, I'm talking saltines and vegetable broth here, because the horrors hiding in his memories are too strong to overcome, some days. He will still cook meats for his friends, though, as long as he's not having one of his Bad Days (and someone else cuts it up for him). In all other verses where the Black Arms invasion didn't happen/hasn't happened yet, he is Uncomfortably Carnivorous and also Probably Eats Bones (hypercarnivore Shadow with bone-crushing carnassials and giant canines my beloved-)

In terms of environmental temperature, warm over cold, always. Cat rules apply, here. He hates, hates, being cold, probably comes from spending his formative years in the pod which I imagine was kept pretty warm, and despite his trauma with that, being surrounded by warmth is familiar and comforting. Also, procedure tables and surgical suites are cold, very cold (idk how many of you have had the pleasure of being in one awake and aware, but as a veterinary student, holy shit I freeze my ass off in there-) so being cold reminds of these too much.

He has old procedure scars under his fur and a pretty significant amount of medical trauma that makes hospitals his literal nightmare; also chronic neurogenic pain due to inappropriate/lack of intra-op analgesia. The ARK was hell, despite the fonder memories he may have of the Professor and of Maria. The Professor had strict rules on what procedures could be done and under what circumstances, but the other scientists and project heads are stubborn and don't have his attachment level to Shadow. Surgical procedures were some of the worst, especially exploratories and anesthetic-procedure-testing, which often went hand-in-hand and had very little pain control (this was the 50s after all, or 70s for movieverse, and lab-animal protections/veterinary analgesia protocols were Not It, the go-to was pretty much knock 'em down and who cares about silly things like wind-up pain-). As a result, he has surgical scars on midline/flank incision scars, as well as associated chronic neurogenic pain in these and other areas (joints were another favorite of the scientists-) due to the constant nerve stimulation. I could go on for days about wind-up pain and chronic neurogenic pain due to lack of appropriate analgesia ('going under' is more than just knocking out consciousness, my friends). Also the adhesions in his abdomen must be hell, so probably has some digestive issues that make his Bad Days about certain foods even worse.

He's bilingual English and Spanish, as well as fluent in whatever correlates to ASL in universe. The Spanish came from both her and the Professor. Maria in my headcanon is biracial, with her mother being Hispanic, so the Professor wanted her to be able to communicate to someone in her mother's birth language to help her feel more at home on the ARK. Maria taught him the ASL so they could talk when they weren't supposed to. The ASL plays well with one of my Sonic headcanons that the speedster sometimes gets too overstimulated/overwhelmed (ADHD is more than just squirrel! and i-can't-find-anything-im-so-silly moments, my friends-) and will sort of return to his selectively mute days. Shadow took notice during one of these episodes, repeated whatever he said before in sign so Sonic knew he could understand him, and the carried on whatever back-and-forth psuedo-argument they would have had anyways.

He is NOT a morning person, and tends to sleep in if he has the time- also, night-terrors. He's not one to laze around; once he's up, he's up, but he has trouble falling asleep (and staying asleep, honestly) so he's a slow-riser in the morning. This goes into him having nightmares and full one night-terrors, which is why he finds it even harder to sleep if he's sleeping next to someone; he hates showing weakness, and anyone seeing him in the throws of a night-terror, to him, is a humiliating prospect. In any verse with Sonadow or Shadamy (I love being a multi-shipper I eat so good on this site lol-) it takes him a long while before he's comfortable sleeping (literally sleeping, in this sense lol) next to them with any regularity.

Do NOT talk to him before he's had at least two cups of coffee, and the coffee better be blacker than his soul. Maybe a tiny splash of some basic ass creamer if he's feeling okay-er than usual. This goes along with the last point and kinda against the first point, but in the morning, he's out there fighting for this life lol. He just wants to be awake and get his wits about him, probably has a headache from not getting an actual rest, Do Not Interact (this goes double for Sonic's morning-person, chatty-Cathy, unmedicated-ADHD ass). He has sweeter type coffee drinks during the day sometimes as a treat, usually because Rouge or Sonic got them for him.

He listens to old crooners on a real, brass-horn gramophone. His favorite artist is Nat King Cole, but he listens to all sorts- Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Perry Como, Frank Sinatra, you name it. Swap this for 70's music on a tape deck for movie-verse. If he's alone, he'll sing along with them and actually has a very nice singing voice.

He's an avid reader. He used to sit and read all the time with Maria, especially on those days were her treatments and the procedures the scientists carried on him were too much for either of them to have energy leftover. He likes mystery novels and romances as his bread-and-butter comfort genres, but when he's feeling adventurous he'll read old myths or historical fiction (fantasy/medieval period-pieces are his favorites, King Arthur anyone?)

He watches telenovelas with Rouge, usually while drinking red wine. Or Stone for movie-verse, minus the wine cause child (probably gives him like bubbly grape juice). This is sort of coming from the bilingual thing, but also he's a ✨Dramatic✨ little creature, let's be real here- I mean he says things like "I'm the coolest" and calls himself the Ultimate Lifeform unironically. He plays it off as just watching with Rouge to help translate things for her since she's fluent but not as immersed in the context of the language as Shadow is, but it's usually him reminding her of new episodes coming out they need to watch.

He's a really, really good friend. He plays it off like he's not, like he's still a lone wolf out there on his own, but touch his friends and he will not hold back. He likes to hang out with Rouge and go shopping with her (again, claims it's just to keep an eye on her and keep the creeps away, but she always takes him to his favorite music shops and thrift stores, too). He spars with Omega or sometimes sits with him and just people-watches, since they're both sort of out here trying to learn (or in Shadow's case, re-learn) just how to be a person in modern society. As he gets closer with Sonic and Co., he finds he really loves Amy's company, too, and her perspectives on a lot of things are interesting to hear. Sparring with Knuckles is fun, too, almost as fun as sparring with Omega. He treasures his races with Sonic (pry this information from his cold dead body- or get him drunk and he might spill), and when they have quiet moments to sit under the stars, he might actually discover he has more in common with the speedster than he originally thought.

Just- Shadow, ya'll. Fuck I love this little gremlin so much-

[passthepittcola]

inspired by this post (link) by @smiley-mcdoggington :).

just a mostly-SFW short and sweet thing ^_^ (brief discussion of sex but they don't actually do anything).

"Stanley," Ford laughs. It's light and soft and fucking perfect.

Stan kisses Ford's palm again. "Yeah?"

"It- that tickles," he says. Then, "Why are you so.. so obsessed with my hands? Other than the deformity, there's nothing special about them."

Stan grumbles and just cuddles closer, chin digging into Ford's ribcage. Ford allows it only because he can slide his free hand neatly into Stan's hair. Ever since their boat trip, he's been growing it out again.

"Well, other than the fact they're your hands, and they are special just 'cus of that," Stan starts, kissing the pad of his pointer finger, "they're, y'know, skilled. And rugged. And... innocent, at the same time. I like that in a man."

Ford playfully scoffs. "Knucklehead," and the way he says it is so fond it makes Stan glad he's got dentures, now. That kinda sweet tone would rot a lesser man's teeth right out. "And what do you mean by my hands are skilled?"

"Well-! It's just. All those little tricks you can do. Rollin' stuff between your fingers, shadow animals, card tricks, all that... stuff," he lamely finishes, looking away with a slight blush, absentmindedly playing with Ford's fingers.

Ford chuckles. "All that stuff, indeed. I wasn't, ah.. aware you were so enamored."

"Well," Stan says, then stops.

Curious, Ford raises an eyebrow at him.

Stan huffs and tries again.

"I mean, not always. There was this.. this day in.. Highschool? I don't remember. And you started learnin' all your, your tricks, and it was.. well. Started thinking about your hands a lot more after that," he admits.

Ford purses his lips and attempts to think back. "In Highschool..."

Right, that was right. Their mother had just taught Stanley how to cheat at cards, when their aunts and great-aunts and cousins and everyone still kicking at the time had joined up for.. well, it was somebody's... birthday? Or perhaps a holiday.

And Ford had seen Stanley learning cards, looked down at his own hands, and wondered.

It had been decades since then, and he didn't remember it any better than Stanley could. He just knew that was what had prompted it.

With a light hum, Ford stretches and grabs a pencil from the nearest surface, twirling it between his fingers as he settles back down.

Stan blushes. "Yeah, like that. Fuckin' showoff."

Ford just laughs. "And this does something for you?"

He gets a mumble in response, because Stan has now buried his face in Ford's chest and is talking to his shirt.

"Stanley, really," Ford giggles and grabs at Stan's chin.

Stan rises onto his elbows, a lopsided grin on his face. "Really what? Silly? Stupid? We've established those already."

"You're not stupid," Ford huffs, pressing his palm to Stan's face, fingers sliding over scratchy stubble. Stan's eyes slide closed with a pleased sigh. "Moses, you need to shave."

Stan barks out a laugh. "That's what you wanted to say?"

"Pfft! No, but it's true! I just meant to say, ah... well, I suppose I truly don't understand the hand thing. ..You really like them?"

Stan gives his brother a withering look.

"No, genius, I hate them and want them cut off," he rolls his eyes sarcastically, but that blush returns to his face as he adds, softly, "Of course I like 'em, I just- fuck, I dunno. They're pretty, and they- they take care of me, they do amazing stuff, they're, uh, big and strong, and warm, I guess? Just- you know, if I had a pussy I'd want you to finger me alla the time."

"Stanley!" Ford laughs, scandalized.

Stan shrugs and glances at the wall. "Well, it's true," he grumbles, skin a pretty shade of pink. He's almost pouting. "They're just.. cute. I dunno."

At that, a warmth blooms in Ford's chest. Nostalgic, overwhelming, heartfelt, Stanley. It's too easy to set the pencil back where he found it- he had just been limply holding the thing for a while.

Fingers come up under Stan's chin, gently turning so Ford can see his face again.

"Six.." Stan warns, but lets him do it anyway.

Ford just hums and cups his brother's face, thumbs brushing Stan's bottom lip. Stan swallows, and, really, Ford can't even help it at this point.

He coos over his little brother, bodily pulling Stan closer to press chaste kisses to the face he wants to cherish and revere for- well, the rest of time. Hands skirting along Stan's sides, gripping flesh through fabric until they find their way under that tanktop and start anew.

"Love you," Ford murmurs, smile wide and soft as he kisses at the wrinkles on Stan's face. "My sweet darling, you- I just- my hero," he says, beaming so wide it almost makes his face hurt.

And Stan just melts.

---

Later, the elder twins both positively kiss-drunk, manage to slot themselves together at the kitchen table, sipping at glasses carrying drinks of choice.

"You know," Ford starts, looking blankly down at his coffee. Once he hears Stan's questioning noise, he continues. "I know of a spell that can change physical sex characteristics for a short period of time. If you do, in fact, wish it.. I could finger your pussy."

Unsurprisingly, Stan spits out his drink and starts coughing.

Ford jumps to attention, and, once the coughing stops, Stan straightens up, revealing his beet-red face.

"Are you.. alright?" Twelve fingers hover uncertainly.

Stan rubs a hand down his face and scoots his chair back a little. He's hard- or getting there.

"Just surprised," Stan answers, gruff. Shyly, he adds, "..How long would it take for you to prepare that spell?"

Warmth blooms in Ford's abdomen, spreading downwards. He perks up, grinning.

"Oh, not very long at all!"

[celandeline]

Things Have Changed Pt. 5 (Carl Grimes X Reader)

Part 5 of 9. It has to get worse before it gets better and all that. We still have some tension-building to do before we get to the payoff.

You don’t talk about the kiss. In fact, you don’t talk to Carl at all in the following days, even though you see him every evening when the council meets. But he won’t speak directly to you after your argument. Which is fine - two can play at that game - but it still stings to see him avoiding you. And it makes you feel guilty in a way you didn’t expect - is this how he felt when you were younger and you were still giving him the cold shoulder because of his father?

It sucks, but it’s fine. If anything, not worrying about stupid Carl feelings is giving you more time to enjoy the newfound addition to your little construction team. Arthur is everything you could’ve wanted. He understands the fundamentals enough for you to not have to explain every piece of architecture jargon you find in your dad’s blueprints, and is great at putting things into layman’s terms for the rest of your team. His experience grants him the ability to work quickly and efficiently, and he’s not shy about giving pointers to Gale and Connor when he sees them doing something that could be done faster. He’s easy to talk to, too, and you can tell he’s just happy to have found somewhere relatively safe. To be part of a community again. It’s sweet to watch. 

Just outside the gates, you lean over a rough outline for wall improvement your father had made before he was killed. Arthur peers at it with you, whistling low as his eyes scan the thick paper. “You said your Pa drew these up?” His eyes flick up to you, peering out from under thick eyebrows. 

“He did.” You confirm. 

“No wonder this place is as strong as it is then.” He chuffs. “This is… really impressive. He was what, before all this?” 

“A professor.” You say. “Architecture.”

Arthur nods, pursing his lips. “I take it he’s not, uh… with us anymore or he would be out here. I would’ve liked to meet him.”

“No, he’s not. Or believe me, I wouldn’t be in charge of this.” You try for a laugh, but it comes out a little sad. You miss him. You miss all of them. It’s hard, having grown up with a father and a mother and brothers and seeing all of them stripped away. But keeping Alexandria alive is a way of keeping your family alive, so of course you’ll pour your heart into the community. 

“Seems like you’re doing a fine job to me.” Arthur smiles thinly. 

“Thanks.”

Your conversation is interrupted when the chain link gate is rolled open. You step back from the road and pull your makeshift table with you. On the other side of the street, Connor and Gale do the same, making room for the car pulling out of the gate to pass by. You glance at the driver’s seat to find Carl there, focused dead ahead. Quickly, you look away. It’s stupid, and petty, and it makes you feel awful, but you’re not going to be the one to extend the olive branch. Not after he outright said his job was more important than yours. In front of the whole council, no less. 

The car pulls past, and you shift back onto the road as the gateman rolls the gates back closed. You pointedly do not think about the way he sighed into the mouth when he’d kissed you that night, and you most certainly don't wonder if you’ve ruined the chances of that ever happening again. 

“When did Carl get car access?” Connor asks, watching him go. 

“Couple meetings ago.” You say, forcing your tone to remain neutral. “He’s been talking about going on longer scavenging trips for a bit now. Wants to go further out too.” 

“Hopefully he can actually find some stuff.” Gale says, peering down at the sketch on the table. “We still need most of that shit on the list Eugene gave us to fix that one solar panel.” 

“Solar panels?” Arthur perks up. 

“Yeah, they’re on the far side, you probably haven’t seen ‘em yet.” Connor says. “S’a pretty sweet setup though. You don’t realize what a privilege a hot shower is until you weren’t able to take one for like four years.” 

Arthur grins at that. “You’re telling me.”

You clear your throat, and bring the focus back to the task at hand. As your crew gets to work, you fall into the thoughtless rhythm of the task at hand. Reinforcing, leveling, all while routinely checking your surroundings for walkers that might be drawn out by the noise of the work and the chatter of your crew. It’s the sort of environment that causes your mind to wander, even if you don’t want it to. 

You can’t imagine what makes a person kiss you like they’ve been waiting to for years and then turn around and say (in front of your peers, no less) that they think their job is more important than yours. It’s not the sort of thing you would have expected from Carl at all. Of course, it’s half your fault for escalating the argument - and its eating you alive - but that he would just stop talking to you afterwards stings. 

And now you won’t see him for at least a few days while he’s out scavenging. Maybe its a good thing. Maybe the time apart will cool things off. You’ll apologize when he comes back, you decide, and hope that he accepts it. Hopefully you can get back on track then, and maybe he’ll kiss you again. Or you’ll at least talk about it. Part of you wishes that you hadn’t been drinking that night, that you would’ve had the thought to ask him about it then. You’re desperate to know more about why and why then and what changed between you or if he’d always had feelings about you and you were just late to the party. 

Maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut and let him put Arthur on the scavenging team. But that would have likely bothered you just as much. You’ve never been one to compromise about what you think is right - there’s too much of your mother in you for that. And especially when he had construction experience- you can’t even quite wrap your head around why he picked the fight in the first place. God-

“You’ve been, uh, hammerin’ that same nail for a minute now.” Connor’s voice plunges through your thoughts. “What’cha thinking about?” He teases. 

You snap back to reality. “Nothin’ in particular.” You cover quickly. “Just got lost-”

“What’s up with you and Grimes?” Connor cuts you off, needling. “I’m sensing some tension-”

“Oh, fuck off.” You roll your eyes, knocking your shoulder against Connors as you move to a different section of the wall. 

“I just want to know!” He says. “Trouble in paradise?”

“We’re not together.” You say. Something you don’t know if you can still hope to change, now that you won’t even look at each other. You wish he hadn’t left before you worked up the nerve to break the awkward game of silence and apologize but-

Connor snorts. “Yeah, okay.”

Whatever.

[previous part] [next part]

[wisteria-cherry]

remus with a grumpy slytherin partner who also gives the best hugs and will fight anyone who tries to insult him??? i love the grumpy x sunshine troupe 🥹🥹

omg honey i love this so much

sunshine x grumpy is my life

also is kind of angsty i hope you don’t mind

and kind of short🥲

tw for minor cursing

“i’ll hex them so hard it goes in their asshole and out their mouth!” you bark, trying to fight against remus’ grip on your wand arm as remus’ assailants backed away. you were persistent, but remus was strong. “let me go—“

“love, it’s not worth it.”

“remus—“

“breathe.”

very reluctantly, you relax, and remus’ grip loosened. the slytherins left. you wanted to fight them, hex them, jinx them, anything. you didn’t care if you were slytherin, too. you wanted them gone, gone go they would never talk to your remus again. you wished they’d stop. stop laughing at remus, stop laughing at his blood status, everything. the rest of the marauders were plenty obnoxious. james was insufferable, sirius was a womanizer, and peter just did whatever james did. any comments towards them, you didn’t mind. but remus— remus was different. remus was gentle, remus was sweet, remus was kind and happy and different. you hated it when people didn’t see it.

remus didn’t get picked on often. after all, obnoxious as the marauders were, they were popular. an icon for anyone who didn’t like the rules, who were all for a little bit of mischief. leaders of the student body. trendsetters, if you will. you knew that remus was a gentle soul, and, annoying as they may be, you were grateful that his friends were bold, bold enough to make it known that they wouldn’t tolerate anyone winding up their moony. your moony.

just your luck that your housemates would find you with him alone.

“let’s just go.” remus began walking, his grip steady.

“i’ll make them pay next time i see them.” you grumble. “gits.”

remus lead you out of the dungeons and through one of the many corridors. he soon found a bench and sat down, releasing your wrist as he did so. you reluctantly sat down next to him.

“hate ‘em.” you grumble, slouching against the wall behind you. remus leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

“dove, those slytherins were just saying stupid things. it’s nothing to worry about.” remus looked at you, and your expression softened, somewhat.

“it’s not okay.” you narrow your eyes. “they were being racist assholes.”

“all they did was go about chanting ‘half blood’.” remus pointed out. “it’s true.”

“it’s not what they said, it’s the tone!” you exclaim frustratedly. “i don’t care if they’re from my house, they said it like it was derogatory— are you okay?” you stop in your tracks as you see remus duck his head, his hair hiding his expression. remus angled his head away from you.

“remus?” you asked, more gently. remus looked back up at you, and you finally got a good look at him. remus looked exhausted. bleary eyes, dark circles, slightly pale skin. his hair looked shaggy, despite remus usually doing his best to stay well-trimmed. even his hands were a little shaky.

“sorry.” remus apologized, straightening his posture, wiping his hands on his trousers. “i’m just… just tired, is all. a couple of slytherins are the least of my worries right now.”

“oh, remus…” your brow furrows worriedly. “remus, i’m sorry.” you wrap your arms around remus’ neck, pulling him into a hug. remus reciprocated, his arms looping around your middle, his forehead resting on your shoulder.

“it’s alright.” remus mumbled.

“do you want to talk about it?” you offer awkwardly. you weren’t fantastic at comforting. you were a fighter, not a lover. you’d rather duel whoever had made remus like this, teacher and student alike. but you knew that remus would rather have someone be with him.

“no.” remus exhaled, his tense shoulders slowly relaxing as he leaned into you. “just, ah, wanna stay like this.”

“i can do that.” and so you do, and you hug for a long time. you don’t complain once— in fact, you weren’t sure you could ever complain about giving remus a hug.

“alright.” remus said after a good, long while. he broke away, honey-colored eyes studying yours. “you alright?”

“i should be asking you.” you frown.

“you’re the one who’s worked up, darling.” remus pointed out, and you sigh.

“i just hate those stupid people is all.” your frown deepens.

“you’re cute when you pout.” remus gives you a smile, that small, beautiful smile that first caught your eye when you were passing him in a corridor and you nearly stopped breathing.

“i am not.”

“you are too.”

“whatever.”

“i love you.”

“… i love you too.”

[tragedytells-tales]

Obey Me Incorrect quotes

Notes - quotes from poker nights + Sam and max, Feat. Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor + the rare Luke, Solomon, Simeon, and Barbatos appearance

Summary - A bunch of stupid incorrect quotes and sometimes they're out of character on purpose!

Warnings - Slight game spoilers, Chaotic and traumatized MC, Forth wall breaking

Tw - Gambling, Strong language, Guns, Violence ( nongraphic )

MC: Well of course you won with THOSE cards! Even Luci could'a won with those cards, and all he can do is talk about alcohol and how much of a poor single widowed mother he is!

Lucifer: Where in the three realms did you lot hide my demoneus now?

MC: shut the FUCK UP LUCI‼️ and people say I'M annoying??

( Telltales games : poker nights )

MC: Hey asmo, what do you think I should do?

Asmodeus: Tell her how you really feel before she runs off with Blaine!

MC: About the hand, chucklehead.

Asmodeus: Oh. Check.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Demon student: I gotta ask, what's it like living on a different plain of existence?

MC: It's great! As long as you ignore the constant firefights, random explosions, human eating plants, the fact that everyone I know and love has killed me, attempted to kill me, assisted in almost getting me killed, worsened my trust issues, or that every demon could try to eat my soul at any time- The devildom really is a home away from home!

Everyone (aside from Solomon, Simeon, and Luke): *whistles*

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: This decks gone colder than my ex. Zombie not demon, they were actually kinda hot!

MC: Sometimes I regret being brought down here. this isn't one of em though, tell me more!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, talking about Michael: I've only become aware of your existence for 1 minute and I already unapologetically hate you AND everything that you stand for!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Hey! how much property damage do you think I can get away with in the span of, let's sayy, 2 minutes?

Belphegor: considering your last record, I'd say the entirety of RAD plus half of the forest.

Lucifer: yOU WHAT??

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, watching the brothers fight: I believe I need to get in touch with my anger, Satan.

Satan: I can help with that!

( Sam & Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I believe our persuasive charm could have him seeing things our way!

MC: Or not seeing anything at all.

( Sam & Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: And what in the 7 rings happened here?

Barbatos: I'll tell you what just happened here, they just drove a man insane.

Mammon and Asmo: all in a days work!

( Sam and Max S1 E15 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Solomon: STOP THEIVES!

MC: Y'know that never works, right?

Solomon: Oh, I know. But it's such a wonderful prelude to the impending mayhem!

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo, squeezing MC: I will pet you, and love you, and subjugate you to my every will!

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I think that poor human has been forever scared, Barbatos.

Barbatos: Then our work here is done, my liege.

( Sam and Max S1 E16 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: Not to be skeptical or anything, but what makes this little human a potential weapon of doom?

MC: :]

( Sam and Max S1 E17 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Oh I think I understand, you want me to feel like any other person with freakishly destructive powers! You guys are so sweet!

( Sam and Max S1 E17 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Well this is an unlikely turn of events.

Mammon: Foiled by some oversized rubber baby buggy bumper. ( He's talking about Belphie. )

( Sam and Max S1 E18 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: Hey MC, what am I?

MC: Dumb question, you're a doof.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo, playing UNO: Is that a good idea? Cause honestly, I don't really know what I'm doing!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Solomon: I want one, but it's not for me. It's for my friend, Luke!

Luke: Don't go dragging me into your slighty malevolent and silly schemes, Solomon.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: 25th anniversary huh?

Beel: yup.

Simeon: But didn't you guys get together in the same year as the exchange program?

Beel: yes, I guess so.

Simeon: then that was 26 years ago?

MC *from afar*: MATH NEEEEEEEEEERD!!

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I think this has taught us all a very important lesson. But I'll be damned if I can figure out what.

Luke: I'm unsure how much more damned you can get and I'm afraid to find out.

( Telltales games : poker nights )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: Move freely he says. In these heels?!

( Sam and Max S1 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: So that's why I always feel an overbearing presence just out of my field of vision, watching and judging my every move! *stares at the forth wall*

In-game MC, at his side: That's me dude.

( Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Demon student, looking at Luke: How far would you go if I punt you?

MC: HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING. He's my lil angel.

( Sam and Max devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: Do you two know what happened?

Luke: I can't lie to Simeon!

MC: I can, kid! No, no we do not.

( Sam and Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: MC, where do you put all your school supplies?

MC: In my backpack of course!

Lucifer: But you're a sheep. Where do you put your backpack?

MC: Now that is none of your damn business, Luci.

( Sam and Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Magnatism? Don't tell me you're one of those kooks!

Satan: You don't believe in Magnatism?

Mammon: It's an interesting theory, but I'm not convinced.

Satan: This is almost as bad as Beel believing curry is a concept.

( Sam & Max beyond space and time )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: What in Diavolos name is going on in here?!

MC: My tomfoolery is none of your concern.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: MC, I believe I have developed feelings for you over the time we've known eachother.

MC: Huh, feelings of anger?? You wanna fight?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: MC, I didn't study for this test?! What do I write?!

MC: That's our marriage certificate, Mammon.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Belphi, wake up!

Belphegor: Huhh, what is it MC?

MC: You fucked up big time.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: I'm going to commit mass arson, and no one can stop me!

Lucifer: Why.

MC: ...Good question. Chaos.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: A blackout in a room full of violent creatures? Ah, don't be such a fussypants!

Mammon: A FUSSYPANTS??

( Sam & Max S1 E12 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: I'm Beel! And this is my huggable family!

Everyone in the room: Please don't hug us.

( Sam and Max this time it's virtual! )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: and here's the house of lamination! A colorful and full of life home that came to be under mysterious circumstances!

MC: By "colorful" He means decaying, filled with demonic forces, and smells like certain damnation with a hint of mildew. And by "mysterious" he means a psychologically scarring murder house turned horror movie that was dragged down here by Lucifer himself.

( Sam and Max this time it's virtual! )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: I thought we needed one of those mermaid candies to breath down here.

MC: It's fiction, jarhead. We have ridiculous lung capacity.

( Sam & Max s1 E2 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

*During the angels event*

MC: Kindness? Charity? Understanding!? When will this hellish nightmare end?!

( Sam and Max )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Beelzebub: You aren't scared of me?

MC: Me? Scared of you? Why should I be, you're a big blubber of man.

( Life of Melody )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: You're looking hale and hearty today Lucifer!

Lucifer: I had five years worth of coffee in five minutes Diavolo.

( Sam and Max hit the road )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: MC, you have as much of a say in this as anyone else does.

MC: You mean like how I had a say in my technical kidnapping and all of my many near death experiences?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, walks into the room with a gigantic lint roller covered in dog fur: So I lint rolled the puppy.

Mammon: Okay.

* five minutes later *

Mammon: Wait MC did what?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: This is your first and final warning! Pull over or die!

( Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC, looks at the dislike portion of the student ID: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Simeon: Can I drive?

MC: Jumping vehicular homicide, no!

( Sam & Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: What do you have?

Solomon: A microwave!

MC: Somehow that's worse than you having a knife.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: They say an idle mind is the devils playhouse

MC: How curiously insulting.

( Sam & Max the devils playhouse )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: Are you sensing my desire to turn you into a QUIET LIL HANDBAG.

Luke: Satan.

Satan: Sorry.

( Sam and Max S1 E10 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Daivolo: Hey MC, can I-

MC: No.

(Sam and Max save the world )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Question, when was panda express constructed?

Beelzebub: Uhhhh 1776??

MC: Ah yes, during the American revolution!

( sunny side skies )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: What're ya gonna do? Gimme the silent treatment?

MC: .....

Mammon: Nooo, stop, pleeeease!!!

MC: Never underestimate the power of passive aggression, mams.

( Sam & Max beyond space and time )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Belphegor: By the name of the moon I will kick thy ass!

( colors of my canvas )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: MC, can I ask why you're parkouring over furniture and nearly breaking every vase in sight?

MC: Lilith keeps trying to touch me with her icy hands!

Lilith: they're not that cold MC! I promise!

MC: YOU'RE DEAD! THEY'RE FREEZING.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Where is your "can-do" attitude?

MC: She left, long ago!

( heartstopper show s1 e1 )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke *with the most serious face he can muster*: MC, I don't want to be friends anymore!

MC: Yeah, okay, that's cool lil buddy-

Luke: MC? MC are you crying?

MC: No, no, it's okay, this is fine-

Luke: MC, you're sobbing.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: Cerberus is ment to discouraged you from coming into the unground tomb.

MC, currently cuddling with a sleeping cerberus and peting his heads: And?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: It's so sad frisk died of ligma

Belphegor: who's frisk?

MC: ligma balls

Belphegor: AHHH-

( Saying alot of things as Kris )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Are there British people here in the devildom?

Diavolo: What?

Soloman: Of course not MC, British people aren't real.

Diavolo: What???

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lilith: why are you the size of a shrimp?

Belphegor: Why are you nonexistent in a physical form?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: If I gave Diavolo a lemon, he would disintegrate and I would become the ruler of the devildom, and that's the way the world turns.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Satan: -to make them think they've come here willing and have them be more submissive."

Solomon: *cough*andbreedable*cough*

Mammon: MC, you've been drugged- Solomon????????

Lucifer: I can't have a moment of peace.

( The Day Out by @/beels-burger-babe )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: It's just sitting there, menacingly...

MC: It's literally just eating grass.

Diavolo: It's looking at me with cold, dead, eyes...

MC: It is entirely focused on the grass.

Diavolo: It's unnatural.... how can something be so, complacent?! So, unbothered?? So... So uncaring about what may happen should it let it's guard down for even a second?!

MC: That's because not everything runs on caffeine, procrastination, and daddy issues, Diavolo.

Diavolo: It's scary! 🥺

MC: It's a Capybara.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Plural for platypus, go.

Platipy- Mammon , Daivolo , Luke , Beelzebub

Platypuses- Satan , Lucifer , Barbatos

*windows shut down* - Levi , Simeon

Platypuss(e)s - Asmo , Belphi , Solomon

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: You good?

MC: No.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Player: AYO!

MC: huh?!

Player * dragging MC *: let's go bud, we're off to therapy!

MC: WAIT-

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmo: Asdsgvdfdzkga!!@^$$"'

MC: ....Pardon?

Asmo: You don't know keysmash?

MC: This is an audible conversation.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: Please let this be a normal day...

MC: With these several idiots? No way!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Hold on- how was I able to hear him from my room, which is by the kitchen down the hall from the stairs, from the attic?

Beelzebub: Big attic.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* C R A S H *

Teen!MC: are you okay dude?

Teen!Demon: yeah I'm fine *scurrys away*

Beelzebub: they were flirting with you btw.

Teen!MC: what?

Beelzebub: Yeah, they were showing off their magic for a few minutes now. Kinda a shame you only noticed when they crashed.

Teen!MC: Damn, that's rough.

MC: All dirt is grime but not all grime is dirt.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Mammon: Huh?

MC: All poultry is meat but not all meat is poultry.

Beelzebub: Correct.

MC: All math is calculated but not everything that is calculated is math.

Satan: Alright now you're just going off the rails.

MC: All pails are buckets but not all buckets are pale.

Asmo: MC, dear, I think you're sleep deprived.

MC: You can read all books but not all books have been read.

Lucifer: context, Also it is 2 am. Why are you up?

MC: Osmosis is always diffusion. But diffusion is not always Osmosis.

Belphegor: Very true.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* Loud explosion *

Mammon * from across the castle *: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MC??

MC: that, was the sound- * peeks into the kitchen * OF THE KITCHEN BEING BURNED DOWN?!?!

Solomon: * cackling *

(Helluva boss )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: I am not a child and I don't need to be treated like one!

MC: You're literally 10. I don't know who traumatized you or how but it is fine to be a 10 year old with 10 year old feelings.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: All is forgiven-

Someone far away: BABY, C'MON GET DRESSED, YOU'RE MY DATE TO THE PEP RALLY TONIGHT!!

Solomon: Oh no.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Teen!MC: Fuck it, let's go to hell!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: They be like "I'm good and fine!" Sir, you are mentally ill and have suppressed half of your lifetime, nothing about you is "fine".

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC & Barbatos: YOU SPIN ME RIGHT ROUND BABY, RIGHT ROUND, LIKE A RECORD BABY, RIGHT ROUND ROUND ROUND

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: Have you no free will friend?!

Asmodeus: Excuse you, I'll have you know I did that morally injust thing on purpose.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Diavolo: I have a task for you-

MC: No.

Diavolo: wait what?

MC: No.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: * crying over Liliths body, reeling from war, daddy issues sky high, extraordinarily traumatized *

Diavolo: I can fix him!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Luke: Ah, shit.

Simeon: Sir?

* later *

Simeon: Goddammit.

Michael: Excuse me?

* even later *

Michael: Son of a bitch.

MC: I didn't even say anything.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC: So if I take off the ring I could potentially collapse all the realms, ending the worlds as we know it?

Solomon: yes.

MC: So the ring is the only thing stopping me being consumed by own magic and essentially killing me?

Solomon: yes.

MC: And the ring should be kept on at all times?

Solomon: Not really, but yes.

MC: You mean... the ring that's laying on the floor right next you?

Solomon: Pardon?

- - - - - - - - - - - -

MC after getting 6 hours of sleep over the span of three days because Belphegor doesn't stop whining: Can the DEMONIC BEINGS that go THUMP in the ATTIC, SHUT UP?!

Belphie: *stomping his feet* IF I HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU

MC: WELL I DIDN'T LOCK YOU IN THERE, NOW DID MR ELDER BROTHER ISSUES?!

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Lucifer: You're an irritable sheep today, aren't you?

MC: Yeah, well, why don't try sitting in this smelly booth while I beat the hell outta helpless fish?

( Sam and Max hit the road )

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Asmodeus: He hasn't stopped balling, or spewing, or having violent fits of rage since we brought him home! I wonder what's vexing him so...

Bb Satan: * Screaming bloody murder *

( Sam and Max S1 E10 )

AN - I needed a break from writing a long chapter and refound this. I don't know what it is either.

[imsparky2002]

Canon vs Creepster: Kagami

Canon!Kagami *Bowing gracefully* You have quite the extrodinary outfit. I have a love for western films, watched them all the time back in Japan.

*Kagami Herushingu smiles, surprised at how... calm this girl is to see another version of herself. She tips the hat in response*

Herushingu: Well, thank ya kindly, darlin’! Name’s Herushingu, pleasure to meet ya!

Canon!Kagami: Kagami Tsurugi. I must say, your accent is lovely, yet is quite different from your name. Are you by any chance American?

Herushingu: Yes’m, Born and raised in Texas!

Canon!Kagami: Hmm... how interesting. I don't sense any sort of falsehood about you. Clearly this is the result of some sort of accident. Are you by any chance from an alternate reality?

*Herushingu's eyes widen in surprise. She's right on the money!*

Herushingu: Just precisely, ma’am. Where I’m from, my kin are monster hunters, same as I am ma’self!

Canon!Kagami: Oh! And by monsters, you are referring to more supernatural species? In our world, the only sort of monsters are those who were changed by the villainous Hawk Moth.

*Thinking of the butterfly, Herushingu can't help but snigger a little*

Canon!Kagami: Yes, yes, he looks as stupid as his name.

*Herushingu sobers back up and tells her counterpart about her team and the type of monsters they face*

Herushingu: Exactly right on that front, darlin’! We’re talkin’ real monsters, vampires, phantoms, demons! The kind that live to terrorize the in’cent folk! Not to mention the most vile. Human killers!

Canon!Kagami: What gives one person the right to decide when another’s life should end. It’s just…dishonorable!

Herushingu: S'like my mama says. "Humans are the only 'monsters', because they have no reason to kill."

*Canon!Kagami looks a little jealous and sad that her mother isn't as close to her.*

Canon!Kagami: Does your mother treat you well?

*Herushingu frowns, looking concerned for her counterpart.*

Herushingu: Yeah, she can be a bit rough on the edges sometimes, but we get on just fine! I get the feelin’ ya need someone to talk to, hon.

Canon!Kagami: *Trying to stay strong* I... I try hard to stay strong, in order to make her proud. But sometimes... *voice quivering* I feel as though I am nothing but a disappointment.

*She desperately hold back a sniffle, as Herushingu embraces her, letting the girl sob into her shoulders. It pains her to think of a world where her mama would treat her with such cruelty.*

Herushingu: Here, now, that’s a load’a nonsense! I’ve only just met ya, but so can already tell ya got a fightin’ spirit! The only person who’s standards ya need to live up to are your own, and I’m sure you got plenty to be proud of!

Canon!Kagami: *Sniffing* I... I'm sorry for breaking down. That isn't like me. *Trying to regain composure* I... I suppose I like fencing. I mean... my mother made sure that happened. *Frowning once again* Do... do you like fencing?

Herushingu: (smiles) I do love a good sword-crossin’ every now and again! But if I’m bein’ honest, my trusty guns get me through the most battles!

Canon!Kagami: What is a... gun?

Herushingu: (Blinks a few times) Oh, boy…

Canon!Kagami: *A little bit later* So, do you have heroes you fight alongside? Some sort of team?

Herushingu: (Smiles) Yeah, I got ma partners, Marinette and Adrien.

Canon!Kagami: *Feels a quiver in her stomach once again.* Oh... what are they like?

*Herushingu tells her about their jobs and personalities, and notices Canon!Kagami looking sadder and sadder as she continues*

Herushingu: Well, Marinette’s real spunky, she’s somethin’ of a mad scientist! Sometimes I don’t know what she’s talkin’ about, but it’s cute how excited she gets! And Adrien…well, he’s one of a kind. So sweet, but so lively at the same time! Don’t know what I’d do without em to be honest!

*Canon!Kagami sobs once again. Memories of events from canon are flashing through her mind. Herushingu frowns. What on earth happened between her and her partners in this world?*

Herushingu: What... what's wrong?

Canon!Kagami: It's... it's complicated.

*Herushingu's eyes narrow. Something happened to this girl, and she wants to know what*

Herushingu: Please tell me... if ya want to.

*And she did. She told Herushingu everything that had gone down. All of the highs and lows.... and Herushingu was PISSED*

Herushingu: Darlin’…I don’t even know WHAT to say. They put you through hell emotionally and yet you still stand by em! If they don’t realize how lucky they are to have you in their lives, I may do something I’d regret later!

Canon!Kagami: No... please don't. They're perfect for each other, just not for anyone else. Focus on your own partners, keep taking good care of them.

Herushingu: (Sighs) If you say so, lil lady!

Canon!Kagami: ... Is there any way I can visit you?

Herushingu: Well, here lemme give you my number. I got a few friends who know some witchy stuff, so they should connect across dimensions. Call whenever ya want!

Canon!Kagami: I will, thanks!

And that’s the last of the trio meeting their canon self! I feel that Kagami was done dirty in the show. Not just by Marinette and Adrien, but also with how the writers decided her and FELIX would be a good idea. I may do the villains and classmates as well, but I don’t know yet. Once again thank you to Weeby for assisting with the writing, and make sure to check out the previous crossovers with Marinette and Adrien. Reblog, reply, post and ask to spread the love. @artzychic27 @msweebyness

[hellishjoel]

Hi my lovely!

I have 3 things: first and foremost, I came here to check in and to say that i hope you’ve had a lovely, restful weekend, and that the week ahead is good to you! 💕

Second is that I then discovered your Pedro characters as Taylor Swift albums like how did i miss this???? Javi as 1989 and Oberyn as Lover was a sensational choice.

And lastly, I was wondering how my favourite linecook is doing, what they’re up to, is life treating them well? I’ll die for ‘em! (No pressure, just curious!)

I’m running away now! Hope you’re good!

hello hello meg!!

thank you so much for checking in! it's been a little hectic and I've been writing a little less because of that BUT whatever energy I do have I have been putting towards the new chapter of Table for Two!! they are literally doing so well, so hot, so sweet, they are forming something really strong!

I put a sneak peek down below - how do you think Frankie's gonna react to this?

Tommy’s Diner is slammed by mid-morning, and you’re working up a sweat. You’re wiping at your neck and forehead every few minutes, and the sun filtering through the windows does little justice to cool your skin. Tina called out sick, which is code for hungover from Saturday. It’s overwhelming. Your brain feels like the scrambled eggs you just plated for that family of four.

“Enjoy,” you whisper a little breathlessly, tucking your notepad into the front of your apron, rubbing at your temple with the heel of your hand as you walk past the rest of your tables. 

By the time you lift your head, you see a large potbelly man who is waving an arm up above his head, fingers already snapping incessantly. He looked like a chubby rat, with a large dark-haired mustache and a shirt that didn’t fully cover the beer gut he was sporting.

“Uhm, hello? Miss, can we get some service over here?” 

Jesus fucking Christ. Your jaw tightens a few notches, pushing your hair out of your face and wrapping around to their table. 

You remember them; you took their table’s order a bit ago now - shit, did you forget their plates? No, you didn’t. 

Stopping at the head of their table, you smile politely at the large family. 

“Hi, can I get you something while you wait?”

The man scoffs and snaps, “Uh, yeah, our food.”

Taking a deep breath wasn’t enough, you were a ticking time bomb. “Sir, do you see how many people are in the diner? We’re at capacity with a line out the door. I understand you’ve been waiting, but our kitchen is backed up and-” 

“Bull-honkey-bullcrap, little miss,” the man raises his voice, spitting violently with each syllable, “This is ridiculous! We’ve been sittin’ here for nearly an hour. How hard is it to make some eggs and Mickey Mouse pancakes, huh? You just that stupid? What the hell is goin’ on back there? Are you people completely incompetent, or are you just ignorin’ us?”

[kanerallels]

Ok. Here's an idea to help that writing tangle. Feel free not to do this if you would rather not.

Here's a line, can you give me five more? ;D

The utter stupidity of it all had her fingers twitching for the blaster at her hip, but SOMEONE had to be the level head in all of this.

This was so so sweet, thank you for sending this! And it TOTALLY WORKED because this sentence combined with an AU concept I'd been toying with and um. Let's just say there are more than five sentences lol, so here we are!

The utter stupidity of it all had her fingers twitching for the blaster at her hip, but SOMEONE had to be the level head in all of this.

Ignoring the slaver leering at her, Hera directed her attention to Kanan, who was glaring at the other man like he'd very much like to kick his teeth in. Reaching out, she caught hold of his arm, pulling his attention to her.

He met her gaze, the anger in his eyes fading just a little. Stay on track, Hera thought, willing him to remember. Don’t break our cover. Remember why we're here. It's not about how these people look at me, it's about helping someone who needs it.

She saw him give her a tiny nod before looking at the slaver. “Let's focus on our actual deal,” he said, his tone sharp. “You said you had a Lasat here?”

Turning his attention to Kanan, the slaver nodded. “We might just. Depends on what you’re willing to pay.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about payment,” Kanan said, letting his hand come to rest on the pouch hanging at his hip. It jingled just enough to draw the slaver’s attention, so he didn’t see the half-smile crossing Kanan’s face as he added, “You’ll get everything you deserve.”

Oh, boy. Hera cleared her throat pointedly. “If we could see him first?” she said.

His eyes gleaming with greed, the slaver nodded. “Aye. Anything you like.” Starting down the hallway, he added, “You can have his friend, too, if you pay a little extra.”

“His friend?” Hera exchanged a confused look with Kanan as they followed the man. The reports they’d heard hadn’t said anything about multiple survivors of the massacre on Lasan.

“Aye,” the slaver said. “Human male. Grabbed ‘em both together— they fought like fyrnocks, but numbers won out in the end. He’s a strong one, and with that red hair he’s quite the rare specimen.”

As they approached one of the nearby doors, Kanan said, “Then why are you offering him at a discounted price?”

“He’s trouble, putting it lightly,” the slaver said, keying a sequence into the pad next to the door. “Had to teach him how to behave, and as much fun as that is—” he let out an ugly laugh that made Hera’s skin crawl— “it takes too much time. But I’ll still be charging you. Here they are now.”

The door hissed open, and Hera had to choke back a gasp of horror.

The Lasat was there, chained to the wall by the arms. It was immediately clear that he’d been beaten badly— the area around one of his eyes was so swollen that he could barely open it. Blood, both dried and fresh, covered his arms and face, but his face was twisted in a defiant scowl as he regarded the trio.

Opposite him was a man the slaver had described. He looked equally battered, and while his expression was a little more calm, there was still a spark of rebellion as he studied both Kanan and Hera.

“As you can see, we needed to teach these two a lesson,” the slaver said. “Well, a couple lessons.”

He laughed, and Hera had to clench her teeth to avoid snapping a response, or shooting him in the face. You can’t save them all, she reminded herself. They only had a certain amount of credits, and if they were to save the Lasat… they might have to leave someone else behind.

“What exactly are you charging for him?” Kanan asked suddenly, and Hera shot him a sideways glance. 

One look told her something was off. He was eying the red-haired man with an impassive expression that read more as unease to her. Clearing her throat, she said, “Are you sure about this?”

“I am,” Kanan said. Turning, he met her eyes. “I think we could… have use for him. The same way as the Lasat. Or… like me.”

Wait. What? There was no way Kanan was implying… did we find another Jedi? Hera lifted a questioning eyebrow at him, and he gave her a tiny nod.Ah. Well, that changes things.

Turning to the slaver, she gave him an overly sweet smile. “Could you give my companion and I a moment alone? You can just leave us here.”

“I don’t think you should be alone with the merchandise,” the slaver said, and Hera’s stomach turned. Those are people, you complete—

The sound of Kanan pulling a small handful of credits from the pouch at his waist brought her attention back, and she watched as he casually tossed them up in the air. “Oh, I don’t think it would be a big deal. After all, there’s no way out other than the door. You can guard from out there.”

The slaver hesitated, then held out his hand. Kanan dropped the credits into his palm, and without another word the man pivoted and headed for the door. 

The minute it slid closed, Hera turned to Kanan. “Are you sure?” she said quietly.

“Positive,” Kanan said firmly.

Nodding slowly, Hera said, “Alright. Plan B?”

Kanan shook his head. “No way he buys that after the way I acted earlier.”

Rolling her eyes, Hera said, “I told you not to—”

“I know, you’re right. As usual,” Kanan said with a grimace. “I couldn’t stop myself, the guy’s a boot-licking karker, to put it likely.”

“Agreed.”

“So plan C?” Kanan offered.

“Hmm.” Hera tapped her chin thoughtfully. “We could. Or…”

Kanan sighed. “You’re about to say you want to do plan D, aren’t you?”

“You know me well, dear.”

“Hey.” For the first time, the Lasat spoke, his voice creaking from disuse. “What the KARK are you two talking about?”

As Hera exchanged a look with Kanan, the red-haired man spoke up. “They’re going to help us, Zeb.” He looked at Kanan, lifting his head in a challenging way. “Aren’t you?”

“We are,” Hera said. “But we’re going to need your help to pull it off. How do you feel about freeing every slave in this place, and taking out a few slavers along the way?”

The Lasat grinned, a vicious curl of his mouth. “Now you’re speaking my language. Where do we start?”

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

A/N = I wish I had some explanation for where this shit came from.

C/W = A lot of the same thing: P->V, oral {both ways}, some light hair pulling, language, brief masturbation {m & f}, if I missed anything let me know so I can fix it. I've read it too many times as it stands.

WC = almost 3.9k

"A Rose By Any Other"

"Hey, y/n? You're y/n, right? Uh sorry, but I ... I think these are yoursss." Sanemi handed you a tight little leopard print thong.

"Oh ... my ... fuck." You ripped them from his hand and stuck them in your pocket.

"Thank you, Sanemi." His head perked up at you saying his name. "I appreciate you giving these back to me. The last place I lived I lost about 8 pairs of panties." You shrugged your shoulders, "There was some creepy fuck going through the laundry room. Clean or dirty. He'd take them all."

Sanemi made a grossed out face. "You're sure it was a man?" He laughed. "Those are pretty sexy. Maybe some broke ass woman was takin' 'em?"

"Oh god!" You groaned, taking that time to inspect his features more closely. Sanemi's lips were the perfect shape. The perfect color. They looked so soft. You wanted to press your mouth to his.

You shook your head out of the haze his sweet looking lips lulled you into.

"Dooo you maybe wanna come in for some tea or something? You returned my panties. It’s the least I can do, really. What do big strong men drink nowadays?" You blushed deeply as he playfully laughed at your question.

"I don't know what they drink. But I'm good with tea. Unfortunately, I can't." he rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. "I gotta work soon. Gotta shower right now ..." He watched your face for a reaction, "... But uh, may–maybe I can swing by tonight?" He smiled.

Fuck yeah, come by tonight. Move in. Stay. Forever.

"Ehh, I don't think I have anything going on." You reached out to frisk his pockets, feeling around for his phone.

"Ay! Whoa!" He yelped a little.

Your eyes met his while your hands felt around in his front and then back pockets. You knew fully well he carries his phone in his back right pocket. You just wanted to grope around at his body.

"Relax, I'm just looking for your phone. And ... there ... it ... is!" Pulling it out of his back pocket, you turned it on. "Ohhh, no lock screen. You must really be confident in your ability not to lose this." You put your number in his contacts, memorized his, and handed it back to him.

His hand lingered on yours and your eyes hovered on his for a moment longer than was necessary. Your cunt throbbed from his touch. You swear the two of you were going to kiss. Right there, in the hallway.

You softly bit your bottom lip and gathered up all of your self-restraint to step away from Sanemi's gorgeous body.

"Uh *aheh*," you cleared your throat and reached out to flick a nonexistent fluffy thing from his right shoulder.

He reached up and grabbed you by the wrist.

"What are you doing?" He asked, tightening his grip.

You gasped and looked up at him to read his face. He was smirking. A dark gleam in his eye.

"I w-was getting the ... the fluff off of your sh‐shoulder. Should I have ... not?" You asked, wondering what stupid invisible line you crossed.

Sanemi put his free hand on your shoulder and gently pushed you back against your door. The knob hitting your ass as he moved you.

"Are you ... nervous, y/n?" He leaned in and breathed in your ear. "Do I  ... make you ... nervous?"

Your body reacted to his proximity before you could even comprehend what was happening. Your pussy gushed, immediately slick at his words. His rough hands on your slightly shaky frame continued to press into you.

You forced yourself to push back – even though the effort was futile. It made you feel like you were doing something.

"NO. You make me ..." You stopped yourself and looked down at the floor before divulging a truth.

"I make you what?" He palmed his hard cock through his sweats. Not trying in the least bit to hide what he was doing. Never breaking eye contact with you. He liked you watching him.

Your brows sunk down and your mouth fell open. "W-wet. You make me wet." You wrapped your arms around his neck. "Wanna see?"

Sanemi reached around you and grabbed the sloppy bun on top of your head. Pulling the messy ball of hair to the side, he exposed your neck and leaned in to you.

He put his mouth on your racing pulse point and said right against your soft, hot skin, "I do," he exhaled. His breath was so hot on your skin. "... I want to see how wet you are for me." Sanemi pushed back from you and, almost proudly, fumbled with the tent his cock had pitched in his gray, baggy pants.

Your body nearly sank down the door from what he said next.

"I have to get in the shower and go to work, though." He smiled down at you. "I'm off at 5. Home at 5:20. Out of the shower by 5:30. Be ready for me. He pulled you close to him, reached around and smacked your ass so hard the sound echoed in the hallway.

You were a jellied mess. Reaching behind you, looking for the doorknob, you nodded drunkenly and watched him walk backwards a few yards down the hall to his place. Rubbing himself through his pants, until he disappeared into his place.

"Fuck."

The fucking shower. Him in the shower.

Your pussy throbbed from the memory of your brief exchange. The sight of his massive dick in his hand as he told you to be ready tonight.

It was too long to wait. It was only 11 in the morning. And you were expected to wait for the next 6 and a half hours for him to come back. You decided to give yourself a treat. Just enough to hold you over until Sanemi was with you.

You forced your wobbly legs to carry you to your bedroom where you kicked off your pants. You immediately laid down on your made bed and your hand trailed down the front of your body and cupped your aching clit through your panties.

You rubbed your middle finger over the little bud trying your hardest not to cum too fast. Your other hand reaching up to pinch your nipples. All the while imagining you were not alone right now.

"Mmm ... Sanemi. Ah ... fuck, you feel so good."

You tried to picture him. How he would look holding himself up over your body. But all you could recall was his hand pumping his clothed cock.

You gasped. Your fingers picking up the pace and your head raising up off of your pillows as the intensity of the feeling increased.

"Mmm, I wish ... I wish you were here ... Right ... now."

Your hand moved faster, but not fast enough. It wasn't what you wanted. Not what you needed.

You sat up on your knees and yanked your panties down. Flinging them behind you and swearing your pussy was more swollen and wet than it's ever been. You leaned back on your hands and looked up at the ceiling fan above your bed.

"Oh yeah. That's ... that's good. You gonna make me cum?" You closed your eyes. "Oh my god ... Sanemi ... right in your mouth ... mhm ..."

You pushed down and moaned. "Oh god ... you make me feel so good." Your arm moved up and held onto your tit. You wanted him to suck it. You imagined he was so good with his mouth. That he could use that tongue for many things.

Like your clit.

You pushed back, rocking yourself on the pillow you had underneath you. The feel of the firm cotton makes you whimper and writhe. You were getting close, and you wanted to feel his mouth on you before you got there.

So you forced yourself to stop and you rolled over on your stomach and grabbed your phone from the nightstand. You put his number in and pulled it down, positioning yourself so that the camera was between your legs. You let out a soft moan about how badly you wanted him there before you began snapping selfies.

You got a good one – it was perfect.

The light coming from behind your body was soft and delicate. Making your legs look so smooth. The plump roundness of your ass was beautifully presented.

You sent it to Sanemi with the caption, "A little something to keep you happy while you're at work."

You put your phone down and got up to take a shower. Your body was a little shaky. A little sweaty. A lot unsatisfied.

***

You were done showering within an hour.

"It's 1 o'clock. Goddamn it. 4 more hours to go." You flopped down on your bed again. Trying to wait as patiently as possible.

It was a struggle. You wanted Sanemi. You wanted to feel him inside you.

Your phone chimed.

You looked over and picked it up. It was a text from Sanemi.

Sanemi:

I can't stop thinking about you. About this morning in the hallway. I can't wait to see you again. 🍆 🍑. 

Thanks for the pic of your cunt. My mouth started watering.

Your clit throbbed at the thought.

You:

You've been on my mind all day.

God, Sanemi. I want you to come over. I can't wait 4 more hours. Can't you just tell someone you don't feel well or something and just leave a little early?

Sanemi:

I mean, there are too many people here today. I suppose I could leave if I needed to.

You: TELL. THEM. YOU. NEED. TO. LEAVE. NOW. My door will be unlocked.

Sanemi: Jesus, you're bossy. I need to tame your ass.

You: {middle finger}

Sanemi: Is that for me?

You: THIS IS FOR YOU. You sent him another pic of you. This one was full frontal.

Sanemi: FUCK. ON MY WAY.

You giggled with excitement. You have been talking to Sanemi for months here and there. You'd pass each other on your way to do laundry in the basement and when you’d check your mail. But things finally came to a head this morning. And you couldn't wait much longer.

You put on a little lipstick and laid down completely naked on your bed, awaiting his arrival.

15 minutes later there was a loud knock at your door.

"Who is it?" You called. The door opened and you heard Sanemi's voice.

"It's me. Fucking time to eat, where are you?" He checked every room before he finally got to yours. You were on your back on the bed, your legs hanging over the side, all nice and ready for him to tear you apart.

Sanemi stared down at you in awe.

"Mmmm, I knew you couldn't wait. That's why I laid down on the bed, I thought I'd be ready for you when you got here." You said, smiling up at him. "You're still wearing your work clothes. You can go home and change if you want to."

Sanemi kicked off his shoes. "I don't need to change, these fucking things are coming off anyway. I wanted to come over here right away."

Your body was already buzzing. You knew what he wanted. And he wanted to have his way with you. He was going to fuck you senseless.

"Well, get over here and help me take these godforsaken things off, y/n." He climbed up on the bed with you.

You crawled up to him and put your arms up to wrap them around his neck as he ripped his shirt up and over his head.

You wasted no time pulling down his jeans and his briefs to his thighs. His hard cock sprang out and you put your mouth on the tip as soon as you saw it was out.

"FUUCK!" Sanemi moaned out loud, "Fuuuuck y/n, I ... me ... inside of you." He wasn't really making sense at this point. Luckily, you spoke broken/horny and you caught the gist of what he wanted. But you wanted something else first.

"I want your mouth," You smiled up at him, looking directly in his eyes. You were playing with his cock as he watched. "I want you to use your tongue on me." You purred. "And then,I want to taste you." You licked him again, feeling the silky softness of his stretched skin against your wet tongue.

"Please."

Sanemi groaned at the sight of your mouth on him. It looked so pretty. So right. How your lips stretched out to accommodate his thickness. How the pink of your tongue was a nice contrast to the reddened flush of his cock.

"Ok." He sighed and he crawled back over you.

He pushed your knees up to your chest and held your thighs apart. He put his mouth right on your pussy.

You gasped as he got right down there, immediately sucking at your clit with fervor. You could feel your legs trembling and you couldn't help but start to cum.

Sanemi chuckled against you and you felt his vibrations on your clit. You were a goner. Your eyes rolled back in your head and you pushed your pussy against him trying to get him to go speed up just enough to get you all the way to your orgasm.

Sanemi wouldn't give in, though. He was having fun. He loved the way you felt in his mouth. He was so fucking excited to get inside of you. He wanted to see your face when he plunged his full length inside of your warmth. He wanted to watch your body move against him as he rocked himself in and out of you.

"Oh god ... please ... mhm ..."

You couldn't form complete sentences. You could feel your whole body warming up from his mouth. The inside of your legs were slick and Sanemi was moaning against your pussy as you squirm underneath him.

Your breath caught in your throat when you finally reached your peak. Your eyes tightly shut and you rocked your hips against him, "OH FUCK! I'M CUMMING!" You cried out, as his tongue fucked you and his mouth sucked on you. You were a mess of trembling flesh and your pussy was overflowing with your hot slick.

You were gasping for air as he sat back up and looked down at you. His mouth glistened and his face was wet and shining. He was so fucking sexy.

"That was fast." He laughed, wiping his mouth with his hand.

"What do you expect? I've been rubbing my thighs together all damn day. It's been all I could do to not fuck myself senseless. Now, I'm nowhere near done with you." You groaned and pulled him down on top of you. You kissed him. Slipping your tongue past his lips to feel his tongue. His taste.

You were hungry. Your body was hungry for him. He kissed you back, groaning into your mouth as he did. You wanted to give him everything.

You rolled him over, laying him flat on his back. You climbed up on top of him. He was so hard and it felt nice against your bare ass. You reached behind yourself to stroke him with both hands.

Sanemi moaned and reached up to your chest. His hands felt so big on your breasts. You felt so tiny in his grasp. He was so strong. It excites you.

"I ca-, I can't wait any longer, Sanemi." You reached down between your legs to guide his cock to your entrance.

You were so wet for him. Your pussy throbbed with anticipation.

And then ... He was inside of you.

"OH, OH FFFUCK!" He exclaimed, his voice shaking your insides. His cock was so big and it filled you completely. "I can't believe you've been walkin' around like this all day!" He gasped and his hands shot up to grip your hips.

You smiled down at him and you took his hands in yours. You kissed the back of each of his them as he watched your breasts move against your chest while you rode him.

"Ahh." You closed your eyes. "It's been torture all day. I just wanted you." You groaned as he rolled his hips under you.

You leaned back and arched your back. Holding onto his thighs and watching your breasts bounce and jiggle with each thrust.

"You feel so good, Sanemi. Fuck ..." Your cunt was throbbing around him and you could feel him swell inside of you. He was close, and you loved that you could make him cum from riding him.

You sat back up and put your hands on his chest. You took over and began to ride him hard and fast.

"OH-HO … YES! FUCK! YOU'RE SO TIGHT!" He cried out. His hands went to your ass, and he slapped at it and squeezed the flesh so it spilled out between his fingers. 

"Nhgh! Sanemi, you're gonna make me cum again." You cried out as you rode him harder still. Your head flung back and you cried out his name as your body spasmed around his cock.

You collapsed on him and he held you there, kissing at your face and neck and shoulders as he began to thrust harder. He was deep inside you and your pussy was clenching around his cock. He couldn't help but cum. He gripped you tightly and began to cum inside of you.

You moaned and reached up to brush his hair from his face.

"Oh my god, Sanemi. That was ... that was so good." You breathed out against his neck.

Sanemi was still buried deep inside of you. "You're gonna make me fall in like with you, y/n." He kissed you. "

"I've wanted this for so long." You nuzzled against him, enjoying his scent and the feel of his warm and toned body under your softer make.

"Well ... you better get used to this, because I'm not going anywhere." He sat up and grabbed your waist. Pushing you onto your back. He had his cock out and hard again.

"I'm not done with you yet." He rubbed himself against your sensitive clit. "I wanna fuck you from behind, now."

"O-ok," you stammered, reaching around behind your back to get him closer to you. Sanemi pushed your ass up and smacked it.

"This is how I want to look at you every night, y/n. I want to be buried in your pussy, right here." His hands massaged your ass, "Right here. I want to look at this ass all day. Look at how juicy it is. Look at this pussy. I love your fat, juicy, pussy. You have the prettiest pussy." He leaned over you. "Love your fucking tits, too."

He reached down and grabbed his cock and ran it over your wet slit, dipping it in and out of your dripping  hole.

"Sanemi," you moaned out. "Do it. Wan’ you ..."

He grunted as he pushed all the way inside of you.

"I'm gonna do this for a while, though." He pulled out, and slowly pushed back inside of you. You whimpered and moved your body with his. You loved being taken this way. He was so deep like this. You felt so full of him. You want him to always do this.

He smacked you on the ass and you cried out.

"You wanna be spanked like that?" He laughed, smacking it again. "I knew I liked something about you."

You were practically bent over the bed, your chest flat on your mattress. He had his hands on your hips, pulling you up and back into him.

"YES! YES, SANEMI!"

He pulled you up so you were on your knees, your back to his front. He was still holding you up by your hips, so you reached out and braced yourself on the headboard.

He took your hair in his hands, wrapped it around his fist, and used it to hold on as he buried himself in you. You could feel every inch of him as he went deep and hard. Your body was starting to tingle with another orgasm.

"You like that? You like having me fuck you from behind?"

"YES! Fuck! Fff-yes, Sanemi!" You were so loud, you knew your neighbors could hear. You didn't care.

Sanemi fucked you hard and fast. His pace was fast, he was sweating so much that each impact of his hips against you, his wet body speckled yours with the same drawn out fluids.

He wasn't going to last much longer, and you knew he was about to cum.

"You're gonna make me c- oh goddamn it, Sanemi!" You cried out. "Cum with me, pl-please, Sanemi." You whined as you felt him swell and twitch inside of you. You began to spasm around him as he exploded into your cunt. You fell forward on your bed, exhausted. He fell on top of you, and the two of you were breathing heavily in sync as he rolled you onto your side.

"Jesus Christ, so good, y/n." He nuzzled into your neck, his arms wrapped around you.

You giggled and wiggled yourself against him. Not taking precautions to avoid rubbing yourself against his cock again.

"Yeah, you're definitely getting my pussy from now on, Sanemi." You laughed, turning to kiss him. "I'm already looking forward to it."

He pulled back and smiled at you. He leaned in to kiss you, but you put a finger on his lips to stop him.

"What?" He frowned.

"When can you come back?" You pushed him back to roll over. He laid next to you and smiled.

"Are you fucking kidding me? It's 6 in the fuckin' evening." He groaned, pulling the blanket over both of you. "I can't believe I came over here in my work clothes and fucked you all day. And you’re asking me when I can come back? How about I just don’t leave yet? Mm?"

"Well," you smiled, reaching over to his cock. "We can continue another time, I’m sure." You kissed the tip of it.

"Yeah? You got an early day tomorrow, too?"

"Oh, no. I'm off for the next 3 days. So I have all the time in the world." You kissed him, smiling against his nose.

"Well, you better be ready." He growled. "Cuz I'm not gonna let you sleep."

"Mm, I think I like you, Sanemi." You wrapped your arms around him.

"Yeah? You like me? What are you gonna do now?"

"I think I'll keep you." You grinned. "You're so ... so ..." You couldn't find the right word to describe him. So you looked at him, puzzling out what it could be, for the next few minutes.

"You're just so ... so ... stinky! Get in the shower!" He laughed and carried you to the shower. "You're no evening rose yourself. But I guess I'll keep you, too. 

[crowpricorn]

hi!! I saw your ask-game post, and I was wondering if you could do 8 and/or 40 for zoyalai?

questions

8: in secrecy

hi!! fyi I... know nothing about zoyalai aside from the bit where they appear in crooked kingdom and their series version, but I tried💗

When she kisses him, she can't believe herself. A mistake, she calls it in her head. And of course it is. She must have been possessed by some unruly force that pushed her into spending David's sweet sixteen making out with Nikolai of all people. 

That's — not impossible, she supposes. He is not ugly, although she finds him so insufferable that she can barely stand the sight of him. It's improbable, though, and they all know it: Zoya and Nikolai, cat and fox, oil and water. 

They are first of their class in all their shared classes, a never-ending fight for the top spot that always results in ties. They are also each captain of their club — football, her, and basketball, him. Every new win is a chance to throw it in each other's face. Zoya knows that their shared friends group wishes they would get along. She knows that their bickering and constant disagreement is not a cup of tea for the rest of 'em. Still, she can't help the strong reactions that surge in her at his sight. She wants to punch him, she wants to win every argument, she wants to tease him. 

Apparently, she also wants to kiss him. 

That's what she does, tucked close to him in David's small, nerdy bedroom, as the party goes on downstairs. She threw a cup of punch all over his clothes, and Genya forced her to go and help him clean up — "All Saints, Zoya! Can't you two kids behave for one night?" 

So, she found herself furiously handing Nikolai a fresh shirt from David's drawer, and somehow she also found herself blushing even more furiously at the sight of his naked torso. 

It's nothing to get excited over, she had scolded herself. He is as thin as a chopstick. But he also has that foxy, toothy smile and those warm amber eyes that are unfair on such an annoying person.

Before she can even restrain herself or understand what's happening, though, she is kissing him. 

And she is kissing him against his locker when the hallways are empty, and in the old, broken bathroom on the fifth floor, and during summer, when the both of them find a summer job at an ice cream parlor and they spend their breaks making out. 

Thing is, she would never want to be found kissing him — it would be hypocritical to their friends who think they hate each other, and it would go against her principles generally speaking. But, somehow, she can't resist that goofy smirk and those annoying jokes and the deep, clever light of his eyes. 

It can all work out. She can keep kissing him in secret and have her reputation as a Nikolai hater intact. She can maintain her face to her friends and still pin this stupid boy against a wall until he is reduced to a boneless goo. 

That's where they are now — Nikolai just told her that she smells like wildflowers and she has rolled her eyes and shoved him harder against the wall. He has his hands in her back pockets, which she finds incredibly annoying but still allows because — well. Because she likes it. 

And they are so entangled into each other, their faces so close, her hands everywhere under his shirt, that when the door snaps open there's no denying what they had been doing. 

It's Alina and Genya, and they both stop in their tracks, eyes as big as teacups. 

To hell her reputation, the secrecy of this affair — she shouldn't have started anything. But she did, and now she has to pay the consequences. Which are, admitting that she doesn't hate Nikolai and that, perhaps, she also finds him kind of attractive. Lots of annoying still, but also hot. 

"It's not what it looks like," he pathetically tries, but his hands are still in her back pockets and really, it wouldn't be anything else than what it looks like. 

Alina just grunts. "I can't believe you. You made me lose ten bucks."

"What?" Zoya says, eyes thinning with venom. Genya laughs her way, shoving Alina until they are both out of the door. 

"Keep kissing dudes, great money is coming my way tonight," she sing-songs. And, just like that, they vanish behind a slammed-close door. 

"Did they… Did they bet on us kissing?" Zoya murmurs to herself, dumbstruck where she is, showing no sign of separating from Nikolai's stiff, paralyzed embrace. She doesn't for a long while — she shrugs and asks for another kiss and melts against the boy she, supposedly, can't stand but that makes hurricanes flutter in her stomach. 

[feolnir]

TToFaË: Wandering and Woe (5)

<<< Previous Post | Masterpost | Next Post >>>

—Ngh!

Instant regret.

Was this how Ërna felt when Valýría held a blade to her neck? Or was this somehow worse because there were several more blades involved in this scenario? Did it really matter when, regardless of numbers, one’s life was on the line either way?

Valýría was right, though.

Fëor was good-natured to a fault.

It was strange. It didn’t make sense at all. After all, he was probably the most terrified person at the assembly when they declared that soldiers from Pelría had been spotted in Gälenor. Why, then, would he reveal himself to his greatest fear with the naive hope that they might help him? That their cold aura was merely from suffering, not malice?

It was noble, but stupid. Very stupid.

If given the chance, Valýría would have scolded him on the spot. But…Fëor was not so fortunate.

He was surrounded.

“Having a hostage might speed things up.”

“Seems rash. Don’t forget, they’ve been watching us.”

“Yeah, could be a trap.”

“I don’t care. We can take ‘em.”

“He’s probably just some peasant, though. Who else would be out here in the middle of nowhere looking like…that? What kind of leverage would that give us?”

“Good point…”

“Definitely a trap.”

While the soldiers debated what to do with their prey (whose fay mood had faded back to frightful shivering), the captain walked up to get a closer look.

“He’s no peasant.”

The soldiers fell silent as the captain spoke.

“Strange. So very strange. It’s as if he’s fëol incarnate. He teems with life and the land-spirits love him. Can’t you feel it, my friends? Even now, they are trying to protect him.”

Most of his companions looked confused, but a few looked down at their feet, eyes widening.

“They’re…heavy.”

“Yeah, my boots…it’s like they’ve been bound.”

“Stuck in mud’s more like it.”

The captain continued to walk around Fëor, seemingly unaffected by the same affliction described by his fellows.

“Are you an ëolfëánor?”

Fëor was taken aback.

Was this how Ërna felt when he asked her if she was a fëánor? Uneasy, somewhat flattered, but mostly misunderstood? Either way, he couldn’t answer. He wasn’t as strong-willed as her.

“No…I supposed you couldn’t be. Unless this shadow has shaped a new horror, ëolfëánorí always appear as the animals they gave life to. You’re abhorrent but no animal.”

He continued to pace around Fëor, examining him.

Ab…horrent?

Fëor didn’t understand why the captain was so disgusted with him. He didn’t understand why he called him “fëol incarnate,” either. Both assessments seemed a bit dramatic.

It wasn’t normal to be born from a berry on a legendary tree, of course…but Fëor didn’t feel special. Aside from the affection he received from land-spirits, he was ordinary. Pathetically so. His only skills were having a green thumb, cooking delicious food, and worrying about…well, everything.

“—”

“Tie him up.”

With hindered movement, the soldiers pried their feet from the ground and marched toward Fëor with menacing eyes. Frustrated and afraid, he felt helpless before them. Running was no longer an option. What else could he do but close his eyes, tightly clasping his hands together, and await the inevitable?

“—!”

“Thy prayer hast been felt, O child of Gälnos.”

It was a voice as sweet and soothing as honey. He didn’t know who it belonged to, only that it dispelled his dismay and no one else seemed to notice it. And then, as if answering its call—

—the grove sprang to life.

Pink flowers bloomed upon every bush, roots rose from the earth, and green sprouts grew into vines that wrapped themselves around the feet of Fëor’s foes. Some were dragged into the dirt, while others were bound so tightly that they dropped their weapons. Only the captain was unaffected.

“I’ll say it again…”

Rose-gold beads of dewy light swarmed around him, but they seemed afraid to get too close.

“…he’s no simple peasant.”

He waved his hand, swatting the spirits away like flies before curling his fingers into a fist and—

Thump!

Fëor spun to the earth.

He tried to get up, but his whole body was trembling. The best he could do was lean on one elbow while holding his other hand to his face. Wiping the corner of his mouth, he noticed it was warm and wet.

Blood.

Fëor’s vision blurred.

The captain looked down on him.

“Disgusting. Even your blood glimmers with the golden hue of fëol. You truly are shackled to that witch of a goddess.”

He grabbed Fëor by his shirt, holding him up like a filthy rag.

“I’d pity you if you weren’t so pathetic. How could a man be so feeble? To panic as you are after a single punch to the face? You won’t get far in this world like that.”

He swung his arm down, sending Fëor to the ground with a thud—but he didn’t let go. Sighing, he slumped his shoulders and turned his gaze upward to where the first stars were beginning to appear.

“Freedom lies not in Ëolna’s cruel captivity, for only in Rëálna’s garden can we shine as stars. Here we are smothered, striving in vain to return to the lofty heights from which we came. And so that bond shall be broken.”

He wasn’t speaking to Fëor, who he deemed helpless beyond saving. Instead, he was reciting the words of a wise philosopher to remind himself what he was fighting for.

“He may seem useless, but I think he’ll prove to be an excellent hosta—”

As he turned to face his fellows, who were still struggling against their earthy bounds, he saw a great shadow rising with the moon in the east downriver.

Resources from feolnir.com: Glossary | Maps | Characters | Herbs | Ko-fi

[conquestable]

2x4 - IT'S BEEN A WHILE (CONT.)

mark idk how to tell you this but your little fighting stance isnt gonna intimidate that guy

SPLAT!

are you sure youre nolans son????

hes squirming and scrambling around, quick take a picture for amber

BE A HERO NOLAN SAVE YOUR FAMILY

the way that guy screams at nolan "you dishonored your people!!!!!!!!" hes a rebel king!!!!!!!!!! MAKE EM MAD, SOMEBODY GOTTA DO IT

ughhhh and when nolan calls out to mark and his bug wife to see if theyre okay and mark calls back "dad!!!" TTT-TTT he doesnt even CONSIDER calling nolan anything else, thats still his daddy!!!

eve youre fucking up omgggg

i think shes lashing out with her violence cuz she thinks she failed so hard at doing her intimate hero work journey, like maybe she has no other skills she can use so shes gotta beat some bad guy ass but she gets carried away trying to do everything on her own

the way she has to call for help from the paramedics YESSS GIRL you need help sometimes!!! its okay to rely on a team!!!!!

art gives old queen energy, sm about him. it would be easy to ship him with debbie as they bond over their mutual grief over the loss of nolan, really powerful shared feelings yk, but i dont think art would touch debbie like that, i think theyre just friends

"im not fine" debbie finally admits to SOMEONE honey let it out, art is there for u

"i dont even know why i miss nolan so much. he was barely around." WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

"you thought i was strong?" "nolan has super powers, hes indestructible. he has it easy. YOU have strength" oh art thank you for supporting her TTT-TTT

"youre the real reason we are all still alive and not slaves" SHE IS THE REASON!!!! TELL HER LOUDER!!!!!!

"you dont need the bum. you never did." WWAAHHHHH ART OMG…

every time don is on screen my heart aches. he reminds me of the venture bros only five thousand times sadder, hank and dean could never hit this range (cecil is five thousand times more evil than rusty anyway)

omgggg hes so upset about his little buggies

he said all life is valuable, how dare you try to take it away from them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

god i want nolan so bad, hes so stupid

tsundere of a lifetime

just admit you love themmm you love them you love them so you need to save them!!!! protect people with your big sexy super hero powers!!!!!!

nolan why are you taking it out on mark omg

ssssheeeesshhs this choking is

OMG HES CRYING NO WAY NO WAYYYYY

YOU LOOK SO PRETTY WHEN UR CRYING BABY YOURE SUCH A GOOD BOY

"like these insects… barely touch them and they die" and this man made sweet sweet love to one of them with his big gentle hands:

hes so sexy i cant stand it

KILL THOSE GUYS NOLAN, TEACH YOUR SON WHAT IT TAKES TO KILL THOSE GUYS

SHOW HIM HOW ITS DONE NOLAN

ughhh i want him so bad

hes never been sexier before ohghghghghh

be the man youre meant to be mark!!!!!!

youre not spiderman mark youre INVINCIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOK HIM IN THE EYES WHEN YOU SAY IT TO HIM

MURDER THOSE GUYS MARK!!!!! MURDER THEM!!!!!!!!!! UUGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILL HER MARK!!!! KILL HER FINISH HER!!!!!!!!!

MURDER HER MARK!!!!!!!!! MURDER HER OR ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i said "murder her or else" and now youre cooked

omg and nolan comes running IMMEDIATELY when mark calls for help, i love nolan i love him so much, marks just a little boy who needs help sometimes

YEAH MURDER THAT BITCH WHO FRIGHTENED YOUR SON

"mark are you okay?" "no" hahahahahahahaha

DAMN, WHEN NOLAN HAD HIS GUARD DOWN

are you trying to tell me this ISNT an action adventure erotica?

damn debbie is really giving it to cecil, fuck that useless sick old pervert, tell him to get lost, you dont need him or his money

and cecil just teleports out of there without arguing because shes right and hes a pathetic excuse for a man who doesnt even try to defend his actions, he just likes swinging his dick around

hmm the viltrumites escape without finishing mark or nolan? why?

oh theyre taking nolan to prison i forgot (how could i forget, its where he meets his best friend for life)

"read my books mark" mark has never read a book in his life, youre asking a lot of him

hahahaha he never even reads them he just gets allen to read them for him later

again with the sex imagery, why is he aiming that gun through a hole nolan?

did you tell your son he needed to read your erotica novels in order to save the world?

oh eve you dont have to see them if you dont want to, its okay to take breaks, theyre not going to make your guilt over what happened any better

GOSH DON MAKES MY HEART HURT SO MUCH IM SORRY DONNYYYYY

DDDOOOOONNNNNAAALLLLDDDDDDDDDDD

SWEETHEART YOU DIDNT KNOW WHAT HE WOULD DO TO YOU ITS OKAY ITS OKAY

UGH THE WAY CECILS VOICE MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL, SOMEONE GET HIM ALREADY, DEBBIES TOO EASY ON HIM

hahahaha the way the one eyed one gives mark this voicemail message ass speech "you have survived your first battle and proven yourself worthy, pass go and collect $200"

ugh that guys so cocky for no reason, he thinks punching mark in the face is something marks never dealt with before, like ohhh youre so scary… please, his daddy hits harder than you do

i wonder what nolans given timeline was to complete his mission. it seems like what triggered the viltrumite invasion was simply the fact that he left his post so they got suspicious of rebellion. COULD he have just had his happily ever after with debbie and mark if mark never got his powers? at what point were they going to come check on his progress?

they give mark a pretty quick deadline though, cuz theyre trying to tighten the leash on a planet whos getting a little too riled up

are you kidding, all that good nolan content this episode and the post credit is a maulers scene? the writers love me today

one of them knowing who the original is really fucks up their power dynamic with each other

like this is NOT IT BABE what are you DOING

"why have one idiot clone when i could have so many more" kill it, kill him, hes an abomination, hes not the real one, hes unhinged

GET HIM BABE YESSSSS

FUCK THAT GUY HE WAS TALKING SHIT ON YOUR GOOD NAME

"and sometimes things are the way they are for a good fucking reason" KING SHIT I LOVE YOU BABYYYYY

2x3 < [2x4.0 - 2x4.5] > 2x5

all episodes

2x4 - IT'S BEEN A WHILE

(spoilers for all three complete seasons will come up at various times as i point out foreshadowing)

about 2.5k words below the cut

"its been a while" my asshole, you cant just show back up like that after what you did (lots of really good nolan content this episode, i love him so muccchhhh)

yeah you bitch, remember this?

this was the last time you saw him, you cant just say "its been a while" and stand there looking like a utopian prince charming, fuck you, punch him in the face mark

my little sad boy waahhhhhhh

hes horrified by his actions, hes gonna kill himself

fly fly sad boy fly fly

STOP IT HE WAS SAVED BY A SPARK OF LIFE??? HE NEEDED TO BE A HERO ONE LAST TIME BEFORE HE KILLED HIMSELF

YOURE A HERO BABY YOURE A HERO BE A HERO DONT GIVE UP YOU CAN BE A HERO!!!!!!!!!!!

im fucking sobbing bro

this song fucks i cant stand it

IM ACTUALLY CRYING SO HARD

HE LEFT HIS FAMILY BEHIND CUZ HE WAS TOO SCARED TO SAVE THEM

my heart is breaking bro i love nolan so much

look at their earnest little bug faces nolan how can you resist them

LITERALLY insignificant flies in comparison to his viltrumite lifespan, but he stays and learns how to appreciate what they think makes their short lifespans worth living

PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE MARK

DO IT, HE DESERVES IT

baby you cant scare him by just bearing your little puppy teeth

crazy how it took him two seconds to hug his dad and like two whole episodes to hug his mom

and nolan never hugs him back... he cant believe mark would WANT to hug him after what he did and hes not sure how to accept it

BITE HIM HARDER MARK, TEAR INTO HIM

markyyyyyyy T-T

man nolan fucks up SPECTACULARLY every time he opens his mouth, but he does know mark and knows what he needs to hear to get him to take something seriously

STOP IT, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MARKS SALAD?

hahahaha no way dude nolan is a freak

man mark really knows what he needs to say in this ep, hes not hearing any of nolans shit, i guess that time apart really did help him grow

hes mad at his dad for leaving him to clean up his fucking mess instead of taking the responsibility to come back and clean it up for himself

man nolan making oliver for mark to take home with him is really him using his evil weapon for good, hes supposed to be making more evil babies not more good hearted ones, and he spent enough time with the bugs that he knew their culture would have a good influence on mark

like its easy to misunderstand him from the outside and everyone SHOULD BE mad at him, but hes only doing what he thinks is right

ohhhh debbie wandering aimlessly through life, debbiieeee its okay you will get through this

i dont think nolan ever took pleasure in hurting anyone, i think he just thought it was his job and he was really good at his job and he took pride in being a part of what allowed the empire to stand. he just didnt know what he was doing, never questioned it he let those above him in the ranks tell him who he was supposed to be, like father like son. (now CONQUEST on the other hand-)

noooo baby girl you knew him better than anyone ever knew him in his life, you helped him discover who he was in the first place, you were everything to himmmmm

omg donny coming to visit debbie, im so sorry for what youre about to find out donald

i love will and amber together i love them i love them

let them be best friends

eve is so awkward with every kind of physical contact hahahahaha

im so sorry the only one whos ever touched you is rex

GET HIS ASS MARK

the way nolan keeps trying to get close and touch him and mark knocks him off

"it felt right to help them" "oh so now youre a good guy? here, not on earth?" nolan is the king of half baked big brain ideas. hes smart enough to realize that these bugs lives are valuable, but not smart enough to get all the way back to "wait i need to protect the planet where my family lives" and hes mad at mark for telling him hes incompetent, but hes trying not to show that hes annoyed hahahaha

"you dont have to forgive me" shut up old man hahahaha

nolan: "the rules of interbreeding are not complicated" mark: "the rules of-" nolan you son of a bitch hahahahaha, you alien motherfucker, you cant just be normal can you

DAMN MARK IS REALLY RIPPING HIM TO SHREDS

the face of a man who doesnt know what to say when his son out-mans him

but he gets to the point eventually "if they find your brother theyll kill him" ok honey you should have led with that, mark is always down to save a life, not hear about your empires breeding fetishes

is this as close to an apology as you can get babe?

how many new assholes does mark need to rip out of you before you tell him youre sorry?

marrrkkkkkk its okay baby ITS OKAY

ITS OKAY MARKY ITS OKAYYYYY

wow he really grew the fuck up after fighting that fish monster

thats right babe dont let him pressure you into making a decision youre not ready to make, stand there and think about it

man and these bugs nolan decided to sympathize with cant even fly, he went all or nothing

"you only live for one year?" "it never seemed that short to me" oh i love herrrrr

"we do certain things quicker than your kind. growing, learning, loving" I LOVE HERRRRR

"at first it was hard to know him, he was so hurt after what happened on earth" girl even if its true you shouldnt say it, youre talking to the son he nearly beat to death, hes probably not ready to hear why nolan was a victim too

"nolan loves and misses you, even if he cant say it to you" my man needs to learn to say it with his whole chest, mark doesnt need to hear it from you, he needs to hear it from his dad

omg whoops, too many good screenies this ep, guess i have to do it in two parts, check the reblogs