#what about my aesthetic game freak.....huh.....

[ruairy]

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[liannelara-dracula]

Shu Sakamaki in Real Life HCS

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Prompt

Requests are open

Rules

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🎻I probably won’t have much to say because I find his character to be ugh sometimes but I can’t imagine not creating hcs abt this mf.

🎻But it is difficult to come up with things about him, ngl.

🎻Anyhow, if you guys have seen these irl hcs before you’ll know I’m mostly sharing with you my general thoughts, and formulated opinions on this character so here we go!

🎻Okay, so I’m sure we all know he’s the heir and a prince of the vampire kingdom (I know its weird.) And I just have to say this because I don’t say it enough, I really feel like he acts differently in the demon world because he knows his dad will be mad.

🎻So you can expect Shu to be much more expressive as he is the heir, he represents his father and so he needs to be “lively”.

🎻 That being said, he attends gatherings, banquets, and many other events that his father may want him to.

🎻I will say that when he is in the demon world it is much different as he doesn’t act like himself.

🎻Apart from him is still the same in the sense that he is still a pervert.

🎻I mean we know he’ll be with low-ranking vampires or whatever just to get some.

🎻 After all, he has somewhat of an ego even if he doesn’t show it.

🎻So you know he most definitely does believe that because he is the heir he can move from one girl to the next with no strings attached.

🎻All for his advantage of course.

🎻Also speaking of his royalty life I really want to mention the fact that he is very annoyed by all the attention the girls give him.

🎻He literally can’t wait till he goes back to the human world where it's much quieter.

🎻However as a royal he does enjoy the theatre because he can hear classical music.

🎻In fact, he loves it most when he can watch the ballet performances.

🎻If there’s one thing he loves most it’s watching girls do ballet.

🎻He loves watching them practice especially because you know he’s a thigh guy. Apart from being an ass man.

🎻This is honestly where he might take an interest in a girl who's probably a dancer.

🎻I’ve literally made an aesthetic about this here.

🎻And you can read a lot about how he is at school in the demon world here. 

🎻Oh btw he sleeps in only his underwear, that’s just how I see it. (and it's actually canon, I was laughing when I found out I was right.)

🎻I will say that he doesn’t laugh very often, he’ll just have a chuckle that makes anyone uncomfortable but when he full-on laughs it's so fucking rare.

🎻And it freaks out almost anyone, it even got Yui.

🎻He is such an ass I feel like he trolls anyone in, anyway, he can.

🎻His hair is so tangled and I bet he doesn’t wash it that often because he’s lazy

🎻He smells like cotton/linen and a bit of dust.

🎻The best actor to play him would be Toby Regbo.

🎻However the model I found on Pinterest is also a great representation of what he’d look like.

🎻In terms of attitude he really reminds me of Robert Pattinson because he trolls so much. 

🎻The best way to bribe him is with steak, I swear it works every time. 

🎻And I bet my entire ass that Reiji uses it for when he needs big favors.

🎻He loves to be comfortable so I feel like American Eagle, Hollister, Old Navy, and H&M are his go to.

🎻I know he loves cardigans so much so he’s probably extremely picky about the kind he buys.

🎻That’s why he only has three, this is actually canon, I believe it was in one of the game translations in Reiji’s route where he was looking for his jacket and asked Reiji. And Reiji told him it can’t be that hard to find since he has only three, lol.

🎻And idk why but I just feel like he miss places them all around the house.

🎻I also think he keeps so much junk under his bed.

🎻“Huh, I don’t remember that being there.”

🎻If he gets really hot, he just throws his cardigan under the bed.

🎻He once owned a cat, it's not that he went out of his way and bought one. It sorta followed him and so he started to take care of it a little. It lived outside mostly because Reiji wouldn’t tolerate it, but occasionally Shu kept the cat in his room.

🎻He has no idea where the cat went and whether or not it's alive since he hardly kept watch of it.

🎻Although he sometimes wonders where it went, and I think he liked the cat since she sometimes got into Reiji’s things. It was amusing to say the least.

🎻Forgets he puts his music sheets on his bed and ends up sitting on them.

🎻That’s why they’re always somewhat crumbled and folded.

🎻Never makes his bed, he just throws the blanket on and thanks to the butler the room is kept clean.

🎻Otherwise it’d end up like Ayato’s room, to which the butler can never keep up with.

🎻Because he loves music he has vinyl records, and countless CDs in some boxes he keeps under his bed.

🎻He keeps a couple of his favorite books which are in Latin.

🎻Something also tells me if he had a journal, he’d write only Latin because none of his brothers can.

🎻Because he used to be a cashier, he still has his name tag from then and his worker vest.

🎻He keeps in hidden in a corner of his closet.

🎻Speaking of which his closet is so empty and he literally has repeats of the same pants and shirts.

🎻It’s mostly because they were on a good sale.

🎻He will wear the same clothes for like three days or more and not even change out of them.

🎻Doesn’t brush his hair, just goes to school with bed head.

🎻Keeps his door locked so triplets don’t think about pranking him with some clown-related things since he has a fear of them. It's mostly because he’s learned that the hard way.

🎻It's also because he fears they may bring in a caterpillar.

🎻I could totally see Yui trying to feed a caterpillar and he’d flip out in panic and leave immediately. 

🎻He never will admit to his fears and covers them up quite well because he wants no one to know that, especially a girl. lol.

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˗ˏˋ 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑦 𝑤𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝐼 𝑑𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑠 ˎˊ˗ ©𝟐𝟎𝟏𝟔~Present

[mr-stottlemonk]

I LOOOVE your blog, I'm watching Monk for the first time and I'm in love with Leland and Adrian <3 . Also I really love the aesthetic of your blog <3 I don't know if you have been asked this before but.. which stottlemonk scene would you say is underrated and why? :p

aww, hehe :3. THANK YOU DEAR <333. sksks, i'm ngl, i didn't try much with the aesthetic so i'm glad it looks pretty enough.

ohh!!! welcome to the fandom/series brain rot then <3!! i'm glad you're enjoying it; it's definitely a gem of a series that deserves all the love and attention!

It is so hard not to love both of them so hell yeah, join the club dear.

*long post so more under the cut!

i haven't been asked this! i think... but i'll answer repeat questions anyway, so no problemo there. ANYWAY, let's see... underrated episode huh. i have a couple actually: Mr. Monk and The Missing Granny [S02E13], Mr. Monk and The Other Detective [S04E01], Mr. Monk Stays In Bed [S04E03], Mr. Monk and The Big Game [S05E03], Mr. Monk and The Class Reunion [S05E06], Mr. Monk and The Bad Girlfriend [S06E04] and Mr. Monk and The Magician [S07E15].

Okay, let's dive into it. With Mr. Monk and The Missing Granny there's that scene where he's just finished taking his test (not really lol) and he's locked himself inside Leland's office. it's very short, if you blink it you miss (i just spotted it like,, a couple of days ago during a re-watch) but he's trying to coax Adrian to open the door and he, so very fucking softly, says: "Adrian." before launching into this small, supportive spiel -> his constant support, even in slivers, of Adrian is so freaking beautiful.

With Mr. Monk and The other Detective. it's more funny "guilty hubby energy" than cute. he looks so GUILTY giving the job over to Marty Eels. like, pls. like @s-misaki once said:

the utter act of betrayal mixed with guilt he must be feeling towards Adrian lolol

In Mr. Monk Stays In Bed. I just liked the little scene of where Leland is Adrian's bedroom... that's it. lol. BUT THIS ALSO REMINDS ME. in Mr. Monk and The Very, Very Old Man - Leland was sitting in Adrian's bed and i'm just like??? ADRIAN?? he's sitting in your bed... gosh, i giggled sm. like sure, he'll probably change the sheets - but there's that hint of him always feeling like Leland is one of his 'safe' people. Physical Touch, closeness, sharing things is tough but it's there!!!

the little football rugby match in Mr. Monk and The Big Game has like,,, quarter of my heart (the rest have been divided lol) - cause?? the?? trust?? teamwork?? is SO NATURALLLL. ahhhhh.

the main thing that blew my mind in Mr. Monk and The Class Reunion was how Leland drove all the way (sure, it was for a case) but i'm just,, he would go anywhere on earth for Adrian, wouldn't he. it's so freaking heart-warming idek (╥_╥)♥️.

Mr. Monk and The Bad Girlfriend,, that ep,, i swear. it was just. it was a good hint of how Leland sometimes DOES get fed up of Adrian and how Adrian always wants the best for Leland. it was equally heart-warming and heart-breaking. the underrated scene there though was how Leland shoved Adrian...

it's a very raw moment where the both of them do not seem to get along at all because they want something good and dont see it right in front of them *cough*... and it's just,, Leland's words there: "I have what you want..."

like gahhh, it's visceral if you come think about it. they never want to hurt each other but sometimes what you want isn't what you get and you have to settle and look for something else to fill in the gaping hole :).

Mr. Monk and The Magician is simply me loving Leland wanting to toss anyone out the window and smash them in the face for even hurting a hair on Adrian or loosing sight of him. What a man, XD.

anyway, WOW. i feel like i rambled off your ear here (for sure lol) more than you likely expected me to >,>.

thank you for the ask dear 💕💕!!! i absolutely love rambling about every scene i can get my hands on <3.

[drewoclock]

Quest for the Feminine Man Butt

Originally published March 29th, 2014

It’s a question that has been etched upon the grainy walls of time, plaguing those whom have long been forgotten.  A more acute philospher might call it a riddle, for how else could you refer to the classic duel between an ass and an arm?  Blasphemy, tomfoolery—unadulterated poppycock perhaps.  Denominate it what you will, it remains a milestone for the progressive thinker.  And I’m here to settle it, once and for all.

For most young men my age, the problem with ladies is “How in the world am I going to entreat that beautiful lass to bestow upon me a mighty smooch?”  Their goals, generalized, seem to be “winning” the girl.  But I think a bit differently.  My problem with ladies is “How in the world am I going to be as attractive as that lady?”

I of course consider that I’m hormonally biased.  In an erection contest between a lady, a man, and a box of crayons, the lady would at least place a solid second.  But just like the eraser of a pencil, that’s not the point.  The point is that ladies have the world’s blessing to wear makeup, and all kinds of outfits, and honestly, I’m jealous of it.

Of course I’ve considered dressing myself up this way.  Why would you think that I hadn’t, you freak?  But I’ve been worried.  Girls have this figure to them.  They have the rounded shoulders, the curved hips—they just seem built to be more attractive than me.  And that’s no fun!  That’s like a game of hopscotch with scalene triangles.  I mean, fuck scalene triangles!  Those aren’t fun to hop in at all!

So naturally, I locked myself into my secret thought cave and began furiously researching the biology of a man and a woman, analyzing their aesthetics and scrutinizingly comparing them.  There has to be a way I thought, my eyes bloodshot, my limbs twitching.  A man must be able to be as beautiful as a woman.

And that’s when I came up with a crazy idea: I would invent a scientific ray gun that would turn all men into women.  But after about fourteen minutes of tinkering, I deemed that infeasible and instead developed the ass/arm theory.

The ass/arm theory states that a woman naturally has the best ass, and a man naturally has the best arms.  And aside from those two body parts, the two are equals.  Both can have equally stunning chests, both can have luscious legs, both can have sumptuous genitals—and while one has an ass, the other has arms.  It sounds fair to me!

But suddenly there appeared an apparition of myself, miniature in size and dressed in a penguin outfit.

"Not so fast, Drew.  What about bodybuilding women?" "Why are you dressed as a penguin?" "Shut up, cunt.  What about bodybuilding women?  There’s women out there with huge arms.  Go ahead.  Google search it right now." "Goodness.  You’re right.  These ladies are packing." "Puts a bit of a hole in your theory, huh?  Looks like the ladies can have ass and arm.”

The penguin man had a formidable point.  But I wanted to prove him wrong.

"That’s an exception, though," I said.  "And just like some women can have both, some men can have both.  I’m sure there’s men with beautiful asses.” "Ha!  Good luck finding that!”

And so the search began.  The quest for the feminine man butt.  For longer than I could keep track of, I scoured the cities of the world, aiming my binoculars at any man butt I could find.  I found myself perched in trees, peering through windows as men undressed.  I would swing shopping bags near men’s bottoms, hoping the camera I had hidden inside might peek up their gym shorts.  I signed up for various men’s aerobics classes, just so I could spy on the myriad of jirating fundaments.  I was arrested several times, and paid many fines.  I was threatened with jail time.  But my mission was more important.  I had to do it for my kids.  For my country.  For John Kerry.  I had to prove, once and for all, that we were all equal.

And one day, I saw it.

I blinked, sure I was seeing things.  I had been hiding in this Egyptian trash receptacle for hours.  This had to be an optical trick.  But it wasn’t.  There in the distance was very clearly a man. And his ass was a spectacle of human beauty.

The way his hips curved, unalike a normal man’s.  The way his thighs pressed his ass upward.  Perhaps this man had swayback.  Perhaps he was just built that way.  But there was no denying how supple those ass cheeks were as they waggled mightily in their undersized jeans.  I gazed open-mouthed as the ass appeared to ripple in slow motion.  It was almost as if it were winking at me.  ”You did it, Drew,” I could hear it whisper.  ”You saved the world.”

I made my way back to America and it was only upon entering my apartment that I realized I could have just Google searched a feminine man butt.  But my work was done.  I had proven that an arm could be as great as an ass.  That a man could be as beautiful as a woman.  Smiling, I fell asleep at last, without even removing my eye makeup.

[hxneylavendxr]

hmm... mao or mika for the ask game~? :3

ok im gonna do just mika bc i don't think about mao a lot these days ahah past me would've had more to say about that dude

sexuality hc - very classic but he's bisexual. everybody knows that he's top 10 widely agreed upon bisexual enstars characters

gender hc - FREAK! creature little scurrier

i think nonbinary or, more fittingly, a gothic neogender of some sort mika is very real, more masc leaning though he would make an excellent dumpster girl (faves get the full gender spectrum treatment huh)

ships - *cracks knuckles* so mikashu i have to state right off the bat they're toxic they're awful they're crazy they're just what i like to see then we have ritsumika gaudy hot topic couple and mikamayo in a normal way is cute but in a more mutually fucked up eroguro style way is very cool and appealing to my brain it's like the screenshot from tik tok abt taking your brain out and running it under cold water to me

and mikanatsu I'll be real with you i completely forget why but they are cute together and yuzumika just for funsies and and mikameru curtesy of mj

brotp - narumika!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! their friendship is so so fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they kiss on the lips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 they are besties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 mika and nazuna being friends is crazy important as well

notp - none

random hc - we all know this as truth but i gotta say it mika would be sooo into vocahorror i think neru and kikuo are his favorite producers Also he's totally one of those multicolored bandaid types if he wasn't, you know, an idol with a stage appearance to keep up he would be sporting armfuls of rainbow and sanrio print bandaids 24/7

general opinion - miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh my god oh my god MIKA he's one of the enstars characters that is a prime example of just how much of a miracle the character design (visually and written) in this game is to fit so specifically with my tastes- from an aesthetic stand point, the heterochromia compliments his otherwise very average looking design perfectly he is standing out now you are looking at him with interest

the thing he has going on initially? mf willing abuse victim ass? a doll to be pupeteered, a doll to be tampered with? actually incredible we all know this but i fucking loooove doll motifs and marionette themes

moving past that though, he is (and always has been) such a menhera yami kawaii pastel goth type which is SOO FUCKIN COOL for an anime boy, not at all something i was used to seeing before him and my base infatuation with pastel/candy gore from when i was 12 has left me realistically unable not to be obsessed with him now.

...which brings us to. the horrors He is so sick so fucked up such a little freak and that makes him a home to me, sadist, romantic, blood and gore lover that i am, But the way it's not even a tease. the way he has said and been shown to, many a time, be very okay with killing someone...the alleged eroguro scandal....... god i love that for him so much.... what a guy

and his voice is saurr pretty and cyute :>

[beelspillowpet]

A Lesson in Love - A “Character Analysis” on Asmodeus

I had to come for the tracks, wigs, and weaves of bitches when Pomade dropped because I saw people talking shit about my boy. This was a milestone “project” or “reward” I guess?

I hit 400 followers today while I was out running errands!!! Thank you guys SO SO MUCH for the love and support! I can’t WAIT to produce more content for everyone!!!

Below the cut there WILL BE talk of season 3, as well as some talk of chapter 16. There’s a healthy amount of theorizing on his personality as well, I hope you don’t mind! This came out more like a plea to get people to change their minds about how Asmo really is, rather than a comprehensive essay of sorts. So here we go!

There’s something we apparently still need to talk about in this fanbase. The unrealistic idea of Asmodeus being a sex freak, and an unreliable person in general despite there being little proof of it. We need to set a few things straight about Asmo moving forward.

December 25th rolled around and Asmo’s audio drama and song were released. I take it everyone enjoyed both parts, as well as I did. My timeline both on twitter and tumblr were filled with Asmodeus content, as well as the other brothers and such. But I mostly got Asmo content. However, in peeks and cracks, if I looked hard enough, I still saw people who absolutely loathed Asmo or who were indifferent to him. Keep in mind; I think it’s okay. You don’t have to like everyone.

I’ve only joined the fanbase in September, but even I could tell some of these takes were old fashioned. I downloaded the game on October 17th, a very important anniversary for me, while I 

was still in bed in the morning. I blazed through the entire story of season 1 and now I am stuck in season 2, specifically in Chapter 24. I obviously don’t have every card of Asmodeus with his Devilgrams, but I have been analyzing his character over the past few days for this.

So needless to say, I have a considerable amount of information on him, as well as personal thoughts that may help some learn to love him. Or at the very least, from spreading a negative idea of him around as if it were true. Enough that should help clear his name, so to speak.

Let’s look at his title; Avatar of Lust. Now naturally the thoughts that come to your head are sex and other sexual bits. So I can understand how some people would come to the conclusion that he’s just a sex freak. But if you look under the surface of his title, like I’m sure you’ve had to for your own personal favorites (*cough* Lucifer, Belphie, and Satan ESPECIALLY) you would discover that Asmodeus is more than just about sex. In fact, sex takes up very little of his pass time, if you were to believe it!

In recent chapters, as I’ve been told, Asmodeus doesn’t really get around much anyways:

Granted, this was said while in Celestia, but I imagine not much has changed for him since his fall, as well as his brothers.

Not really comfortable being with just anyone, huh…? Sounds like someone who doesn’t have sex so warily often as you’d think!

Being lustful can come in many shapes and forms. It can be merely in appearance, which Asmo is not afraid of doing. He’s very comfortable about skinship and it’s very apparent in how he dresses and acts that he wants you to adore his body. To worship it! Maybe not sexually, but aesthetically! Being lustful can mean just thinking about sex or sexual scenarios often, which if you take a peek at Asmo’s chat’s either with you or his brothers, is very apparent too.

Personally, I believe that people would assume he is not good in a relationship because he would have a “cheating problem”. I don’t think Asmo is a monster, just like I don’t think any of the brothers are monsters. They may be demons (technically fallen angels) now but they used to be angels too. Their falling out with their Father doesn’t mean they’ve completely abandoned morality, it was a rebellion for Lilith’s right to live. Not for them to sin as they pleased. For all we know they might have been fine in Heaven otherwise! (with the exception of Lucifer.)

A monster knows right from wrong and chooses evil anyways. An ignorant person doesn’t know right from wrong. Asmodeus is not a monster, nor is he ignorant.

When Asmo genuinely loves you, I think he would take steps to calm down that side of him, if it were to exist. Lust is fairly limited, but it is a part of love to some extent. LOVE is vastly different. Love has many languages, and they aren’t all spoken either. For me, personally, I found that Lucifer’s love language can be either very direct, or roundabout so as to not let it go to your head, for an example. Asmo is just far more direct about his care for you.

I feel as though Asmo gets a lot of crap constantly for his presumed nature and because we don’t get to see much else of him at first, especially in season 1, his impression on us sort of stays. With most of the fanbase either somewhat new to the game or somewhere lost in the sea of the difficulty curve that is season 2, we can only assume based on what we’ve seen, and what others have headcanoned about him.

Let’s break and talk about Satan for a moment; this is going somewhere.

I’m led to believe that Satan can control his sin fairly well. He’s easy to get irritated, sure, but he isn’t as much of a walking ball of rage as I suspected. I would argue that, aside from Leviathan, Satan can handle his sin the best out of the brothers. But again, we’re forgetting about Asmo. The Avatar of “Lust”. Like I’ve shown before, he doesn’t really sleep around a lot, according to anon.

At worst, Asmo being flirty is through text and he’s not actively trying to sleep with you. It can be interpreted that way, but for me personally, it comes down to having a friend that is very up close and in your personal space.

(I myself am one of these types of people. Having ADHD, my social cues are always sort of off, and I’ve struggled with coping with it for years. With my best friend, we have seen each other naked countless times and have slept in the same bed as well. We were never romantic with each other. We were just very comfortable being close and personal with each other.)

I’d like to point out also that Asmo isn’t even there for most of season 1 too. Which can give you the idea that maybe he just was out sleeping around a lot, but to me he probably just went out partying a lot. You don’t get known that fast for sleeping around. Maybe in 5,000 years, sure, but I’d imagine being a party boy, as his Devilgram “Guided by Desire” suggests.

So the idea that Asmo isn’t in the house a lot because he’s out having sex all the time isn’t true is it? He’s probably just out partying, which can LEAD to sex with someone sure, but again, Asmo doesn’t feel comfortable doing that, now does he?

I feel like of all the boys, Asmo is the one who radiates with everyone else the most. Most people will never realize how surreal it is that Asmo is faking it until he makes it. He doesn’t always think he’s beautiful, or that he’s worth all the love he’s striving and straining to get. Something that is extremely relatable for a lot of people with self-worth issues. Asmo is just like that, but instead being sarcastic and self-deprecating, he simply works to make himself look as beautiful as possible, so that in his eyes, his beauty matches the affection he gets.

Which is why, when he falls in love with you, it’s strange. You are constantly telling him he’s nice and pretty, but you aren’t lusting after him. You’re just being nice. It may just be me, but when people are overly nice just for the sake of being nice, I’m very attracted to that. That is Asmo, to some extent. The fact that he reflects the insecurities and habits of others so clearly may make others uncomfortable, but that brutal honesty veiled behind insecurity is what a lot of people with self-image issues deal with.

Now for me to share my favorite personal idea for Asmo that completely changed how I saw him in season 1 onwards; Asmodeus is an empath. Now let me explain:

First, what is an Empath?

The term empath comes from empathy, which is the ability to understand the experiences and feelings of others outside of your own perspective. Seems simple, right? Everyone can do this to some extent. However, what makes you an empath is the fact that empaths genuinely feel the same pain as you do. So much so your experience becomes a very personal part of their own. They are capable of being able to feel other people’s emotions without them speaking, or even showing signs of it through their body language.

This would explain, for me personally, why there’s so little of him in season 1. The intensity of what goes on in the house, his sensitive soft-spoken mannerisms, the only time he truly gets mad is when he’s childishly arguing with Mammon? Asmo is afraid of true conflict, he’s afraid of violence and negative emotions. Let’s face it; everyone is indifferent or hates you at the start of the game.

While this changes fairly quickly, all the intense feelings come to a head in chapter 16. All those negative emotions swirling around, of course Asmo isn’t going to want to be in the house when it’s that intense. The attic didn’t just disappear completely, too. Belphie was still in the attic hating humans. That negative emotion could be affecting Asmo and he didn’t know why, so he could have been out of the house more.

Where Asmo can feel the emotions of others, it may mostly be the negative ones because they fill him with anxiety and panic if it persists. Which can be helpful in making him so urgent to want to make others smile and feel better, right?

Imagine being intimate with Asmodeus, and suddenly you aren’t in the mood for it anymore but don’t want to make things awkward. He could pick up on it in an instant and wouldn’t get mad because he understands how you feel completely.

Now to close this out about something that genuinely hurts me; Asmodeus is a narcissist.

I mean, the wiki says that he is, but personally? No, no he isn’t. Since when is loving yourself a bad thing? Sure he may go a bit far sometimes, but people with self-image issues need to go a little harder than the rest to make sure they're getting the love they need.

(Talking about myself AGAIN, but I do this a lot. At random, I will look up in my own mirror in front of my desk that I sit in front of all day and tell myself I am a cute bitch. I am VERY VERY cute and anyone would be lucky to have someone as drop dead gorgeous as myself. I say that a few times a day. In reality, I am very insecure about my looks. I do believe I’m cute, but sometimes it’s hard to say it. Which is why I force myself. Why wouldn’t Asmo do the same?)

Talking yourself up to be as beautiful as a sex god is no easy task, but Asmo isn’t the Avatar of “Lust” for no reason. When an insecure girl talks up her beauty, it’s her being strong and independent. When Asmo does it, its narcissism… it doesn’t really seem fair, now does it? Maybe he’s just an insecure person who needs to tell himself ALL THE TIME that he’s beautiful. That if he stares at his reflection long enough, he may see it too.

(Also, Simeon literally calls him out on being insecure. Insecure people tend to try and overcompensate where they feel they’re lacking.)

”Asmodeus is hinted to be insecure and seeking for love and attention. When Simeon was asked about what he thought of Asmodeus, he says that Asmodeus is still trying to fulfill the role of the angel he used to be; an angel that was adored and loved by many. Asmodeus laughs at Simeon's remark and brushes it off by saying that he is only jealous.” - A section from said Asmodeus Wiki.

People can choose to love or hate Asmo, obviously. Making things up about his character without having anything but speculation and having that dictate how he acts is plain silly. This entire “essay” if you can call it that, comes from the heart. I love Asmo as a character, and in the beginning he did make me uncomfortable, I didn’t like him that much. But I learned to look past that and figure out why he acts the way he does. Something didn’t sit right with me about him for a while, and it was that air of insecurity that I didn’t see at first.

All I can really ask for, is giving Asmo another chance as a character. He’s not as wild and wacky as Mammon, or as cool and sexy as Lucifer, or as edgy and precious as Belphie, but he matters in this story too. He fell from grace with his brothers for Lilith. Give him another chance, and let him show you that he is the Avatar of Love.

[dedkirsch]

1 &9 for everyone you want to talk about please ^^

Tee hee :3

Kirsch (my beloved <3333)

1.     Why they are your favourite?

Because my brain saw Zora/Kirsch and decided to hyperfixate. /lhj

but like apart from that. He's just such a fun character! He's a ridiculous idiot and I want to fucking smoosh his cheeks and kiss him and uushshjajssjdja <33

9.     Is their outfit in, or out?

this depends because from an artistic standpoint, OUT OUT OUT OUT I HATE DRAWING THAT STUPID FUCKING ONESIE WHY MUST HE TORTURE ME LIKE THIS 😭😭😭 but apart from that it's pretty cool and he pulls it off really well!!! so it's about 50/50. Hell to draw but MAN he looks so pretty I can't fault him for it too much 😭

Zora (Kirsch’s beloved <33)

1.     Why they are your favourite?

I've always liked him tbh, his attitude is really fun to me and I love how he basically came into the Royal Knight exams, disrespected everyone, proceeded to kick their asses and managed to get in. ITS SO FUN IDK WHY

and of course I can't talk about him without mentioning his boyfriend (zorsch is canon guys it's true they kissed in front of me /hj) who my brain just said "BLORBO"

9.     Is their outfit in, or out?

He's... he's definitely got the "I hate you for making me draw that" factor. I can't draw it that well. And why all the leather????? Man I feel bad for him in summer??? It's also kinda weird because his legs are entirely covered by like, 3 different layers, and then he just has "lol no shoulders" with an ENTIRELY exposed chest and- huh??? /aff he's gonna be sweating on his lower half and fucking freezing on his top half 😭

I gotta say though I like the aesthetic. And how he modelled it after the doll his dad made for him. So it's like... 50/50 as well. Torture to wear but man I can't hate it 😭

Henry (my other beloved <3333)

1.     Why they are your favourite?

FERAL BARKING HES SO CUTE AND PRECIOUS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM SO MANY HUGS AND SO MUCH LOVE 😭😭 I just!!!!! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HIM?!??!?! He's a lovable little (not really little he's TALL) skrunkly and I want to hug him and brush his hair and GOD JUST LET ME BODY SWAP WITH MERCY FOR A DAY SO I CAN GIVE HIM A HUGGGG😭

9.     Is their outfit in, or out?

In. Gotta respect the pyjama grind. If I could I would also walk around in pyjamas 24/7. He looks cute in them and they're easy to draw. There is nothing wrong with his outfit. (gives him a kiss for having the best outfit score)

Snatcher (beloved #3 <3333)

1.     Why they are your favourite?

HES JUST SO COOL MAN like you're telling me he got fucking murdered by his girlfriend and just became a fucking loveable asshole ghost?!?#*(@(@ Also his neck floof looks so FLUFFY I WANNA BURY MY HEAD IN IT AND UGHHHH <33

He really just said "if I can't live, neither can anyone else" and started stealing souls for his breakfast THATS SO FUCKING?????? i would like his claw in marriage pls

9.     Is their outfit in, or out?

See now this is awkward because he technically doesn't wear anything uhhhhhh lmaoooo he's just a noodle ghost

I did once draw him in a pink princess dress and that was a 100/10 he rocked it

Moonjumper (stupid smug bitch /aff)

1.     Why they are your favourite?

Because he got cut and it pains me to see his potential wasted. Plus its so fun to insert him into fanfics because he's so freaking fun to write! He's essentially a blank slate apart from a few bits of trivia from the beta version of the game and it FASCINATES me. I love researching about him and finding out about what COULD have been if he didnt get cut! Wasted potential to its HIGHEST (possibly even more than my boo Kirsch 😭)

9.     Is their outfit in, or out?

In. I love how he kept his Prince outfit. He looks so cool, especially with the broken monocle and the chains. Which is like a super fun nod to his past (monocle because he studied law, and Subcon Kingdom was likely around when monocles would be in fashion; and chains because he/the Prince died chained to the wall). He rocks it!! It fits so well with the rest of his design, too. He just gives off super weird vibes in a good way and YES

[kuroos-moon]

E-girl S/o 

☾ pairings: ushijima x reader, oikawa x reader, kuroo x reader 

☾ request: headcanons for Ushijima, Oikawa and Kuroo reacting to or being interested in/dating a girl that is kinda goth/e-girl/edgy? Like they wear a lot of black, like scary movies and video games, have a very sarcastic personality?

☾ warning/s: none

☾ a/note: not rlly sure if i did e-girls justice on this one im sorry 

Ushijima Wakatoshi 

• Doesn’t get the “oh, I didn’t expect girls like y/n are your type” 

• Like?? Uhm, wdym it’s self-explanatory you’re just so eye-catching 

• Yes, you caught the Ushiwaka’s eye 

• You’re not dating or anything, let alone have started a conversation 

• But there’s an impressive number of people who know he likes you a lot

• Wakatoshi’s blunt and genuinely honest for most times if not all of his life 

• “You like anyone?” “Yes.” “Really? Is it that cute girl from your cl-

• “Y/n L/n.”  

• Knows how much you love black bc it’s not rlly hard to miss, you wear it on you every chance you get

• And now you’ve cursed him with remembering you every time he sees the color 

• You heard of the rumors that one of the nation’s top three aces likes you and you don’t believe them ofc 

• Not that you don’t know you’re pretty, you love your reflection but you just reckon you’re not his type yk? 

• He’s more of an admire and fall for you more from afar type of dude

• Totally stops and stare when you walk in the gym wearing a short black skirt and a black top, with boots and chains and all 

• Doesn’t know a thing about fashion but damn, you’re so hot?? 

• Cannot hear even his own coach

• Hopes you’re not going on a date 

• “Geez, y/n, is it someone’s funeral?” “Ah, Satori-chan, why are you even out of your cascket?” 

• Kinda thinks you’re mean bc you’re sarcastic and his humor rlly isn’t up to your level lmao sorry but he wants to know what’s it like to actually talk to you 

• So he does, once he bumps into you on his way out of the gym and you just awkwardly stare at each other 

• “I like your style. Your outfit.” He says, and he is not even shy on the outside at least

• “uh thanks?” you just kinda smile at him bc ydk what youre supposed to do this is wakafreakingtoshi we’re talkin bout 

• “you like black a lot.” “yeah, I do, what of it?” 

• “you really look good in it. You own the color,” he says that like it’s no big deal before he walks away 

• You totally crush on him after that encounter 

• Basically, he doesn’t have a type. he cannot distinguish cute girls, e-girls, or any ‘type’ of girls

• What he could so naturally distinguish though, is you—his lovely darling in black—and the rest of the female population he couldn’t care less for 

Oikawa Tōru 

• You’re his most treasured babygirl and no he doesn’t take any criticism 

• Your taste in fashion? 💯/💯

• Is maybe a tad bit too in love with your pretty boy and e-girl dynamic in pics bc his Instagram is flooded with them 

• Hypes you up in your socials, in his, and in real life 

• Goes for captions like: “choke me like you hate me, y/n-chan” and “step on me and I’ll apologize instead” 

• He’s so cheesy but you love it :>

• Lets you pick out his clothes once in a while though you have different tastes and preferences 

• You return the favor too sometimes and it’s not even a compromise on either of your parts 

• You just have fun with your own things and you’re having fun in trying out things the other likes too yk? 

• One thing that shortens his lifespan is when you watch horror movies together 

• HOW ARE YOU NOT SCARED? Loves spending nights like this with you nonetheless though

• “y/n-chan is the ghost gone?” “yup, you could open your eyes now.” “thank g- hey!” 

• Is the rare male teenager who’s kinda knowledgeable in make-up products bc of u

• He knows what kind of eyeliner you use and if he sees something kinda cool when he’s out, he’ll buy it for you

• Or tell you about it: “y/n-chan do you know this eyeliner called ***? I don’t know if it was the lady’s sales talk but I think you’ll like it”—wholesome and thoughtful

• Flexes you a lot and will not tolerate all the “Tōru and y/n don’t really look good together” 

• “Right? She just doesn’t complement him right.”

• He’s childish and more so when agitated, not even Iwaizumi could hold him back

• “Oh yeah? THEN LOOK AT MY FABULOUS NAILS” flexes all ten of his fingers which you painted black just last night on your bedroom floor 

• You just flip your hair in their direction and drag Toru away bc you’re too unbothered <33 

• “y/n-chan back me up here, you have the bitchiest attitude towards me so let’s work together and unleash our sass on them so they shut up, okay?” 

• It’s really rare for him to be that way with his fans but he’s the numero uno y/n-stanner ofc he won’t take that crap 

• “your makeup and taste in clothes aren’t even half as good as y/n’s.” sticks his tongue out ✨maturely✨

• Hates when he has to play Karasuno bc you once mentioned you could imagine Tobio having the same aesthetic as you 

• You also might’ve jokingly told him that “Toru I should’ve gotten a boyfriend from Karasuno, it’d be cool to tie their jacket around my waist and cheer for him at the same time.” 

• Was so mad at you about it and refused to talk to you for days because he’s just so not childish at all 

• “Ugh, why don’t they just change their team color to pure orange. Chibi-chan domination.” 

Kuroo Tetsuro

• Already took an interest in you from what he observes is an interestingly snarky character 

• Has been seeing you in only your uniform at first though but then he finds himself thinking a bit too much about you one night

• Stalks your Instagram <33 

• Jaw drops, heart beats a tad bit faster, his yearning grows 

• You’re so pretty. So good in black. Your poses? The whole vibe of your feed? He doesn’t know what to do with his admiration you’re just so freaking meant for him

• He gets it’s not the usual style for most girls in school, and tbh he didn’t know he’d like it so much, he just does now

• Knows there was no saving him once he starts imagining scenarios about you before he goes to bed

• This dork starts to know more things about you—it’s really cool that you play the same games as him 

• Is up to date on your posts, your ig story, and your tweets but why in the world are you still not in bed at 3 in the morning? 

• You just love gaming, huh? Should he start a conversation with you about it? He played that often too with Kenma

• He just can’t seem to though bc he’s nervous and lowkey intimidated 

• Once witnessed you jokingly exchange snarky comments with your friends and you even flipped them off 

• It’s settled then, he’ll graduate without talking to you sad kuroo noises 

• You once posted a pic flexing your matte black nails on a weekend and when the weekday came, he was so excited to see them in person 

• But your nails are no longer painted, and he was so disappointed bc they looked rlly attractive to him 

• Voices out his thoughts mindlessly. “You removed your nail polish.” 

• Everyone—including you—is surprised. Your desks aren’t even next to each other but his body was facing you 

• Cringes internally once he realizes he had said it but is so surprised when you smile at him. 

• “It’s not allowed in school, it’s a shame, you think they were pretty too, right?” 

• He cannot function, he totally did not prepare for this—and to think he had so many nights imagining different scenarios about you. 

• He was rlly popular and you thought you acted too confident; you just curse yourself for it. “Oh, uh sorry I thought you saw my post.” 

• You look away, embarrassed. “Yeah,” he chuckles a bit. You cringe. 

• “Black really suits you, and your nails were pretty, wish I could’ve seen them today, that’s all.”

• And who would’ve thought your relationship would bloom since then 

• All because he’s so interested and mesmerized with everything about you <3 

General Taglist [Open]: @noyasbitchh @dinablossom @haru-the-secret @strayczennies @lalisbitch @tinymidgetsstuff @animebs @astrealia @kittykitkatstrawberry @hajimesbbygrl @kellesvt @24hr7dysdizzy @arnxldss @elianetsantana @vicassa @floraraine @beanst0ck @leinnah @kageyamasgirl @deafeningart @minibobabottle   @franko-pop @moonlightaangel @throughtheinterstices @micasaessakusa @dixonsbugaboo @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @ultzuko

[rosy-cheekx]

Aesthetic prompt- song: "in hell i'll be in good company" by the dead south; vibe: steam off a warm drink, heavy rain on windows; color: cool gray, bronze, red :)

Took me long enough! This fic is months in the making, but I am so excited to finally be able to answer this prompt. This is chapter 1 of probably 3!

A Phoenix Razed

Chapter 1- Rebirth

---

3 days since Great Yarmouth

Tim’s hands encircled the paper cup in his lap. The cup was small, he noted; he could clasp his fingers together easily. Or maybe his hands were just big. The tea was dark, way over-steeped, and the herbal scent bloomed out in waves alongside the rising steam. There was no sugar, no milk, none of the usual accoutrement Tim used to take tea. Just harsh, bitter, black.

It’s what you deserve.

Tim rolled his eyes at his internal monologue, drama queen, and sipped the beverage. Agh, still hot? He sucked in air through his teeth, startling Martin, who he’d forgotten was beside him.

“Tim?” He snapped his eyes up from where they had been resting on the book, lips moving to form words Tim hadn’t been listening to. “You alright?”

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah, burnt my tongue.” Tim’s words sounded like a shrug, slumped and uninterested, now out of his reverie.

Silence stretched between him and Martin. Or, Tim wished it was silence. The only sound was the low static of the EEG, a rainbow of wires between the machine and Jonathan Sims’ scalp, shaved to accommodate the electrodes. What Tim wouldn’t give for any level of sound other than what they experienced right now. Any less, and there would be an answer to the question, “Will Jon ever wake up?”, and more would mean his heart was working, or lungs, or any other number of body parts to which machines were attached, waiting for any sign of response.

It’s your fault he’s like this.

It should have been you.

Tim exhaled and sipped the tea again, more careful this time. It was still hot—he was pretty sure the burn on his tongue made it feel even hotter—but he tempered his expectations and swallowed a sip of the bitter liquid, letting the raw flavor coat his throat.

“-there’s not much point to this, huh?” Martin asked, slipping a tattered bookmark between the pages of the book he had been reading—he was hoping to annoy Jon with poetry into waking up with Tennyson’s Ulysses—and letting it slip from his lap to the bed, green cover stark against the yellowish-white of the thin blanket.

“I don’t know, Marto, doctors said he might be able to hear us. Maybe dear Alfie will bore Jon back to life,” but Tim’s words lacked the bite and humor that was meant to be there.

“Don’t-” Martin warned softly, shaking his head and pushing his reading glasses through his fringe of curls. “He’s not…he’s still alive. He’s just lost.”

“You’re right,” Tim nodded, placing a hand on Martin’s shoulder lightly before pulling it away as he felt the round of Martin’s shoulder twinge under his touch. “You know what I mean.” He rubbed at the bandages that wound around his abdomen, letting himself indulge in the ache of raw skin and muscle and fat, the hiss of pain atonement for his sins.

Martin sighed, a slow, burdensome sound. “Yeah, I do.” At his words, Martin’s phone rang, and he looked at the caller ID before shoving the phone deep in his pocket, ignoring the call as he did so. “Listen, Tim, you know I’d stay longer if I could-”

“No, I get it, Martin.” Tim stood as Martin did, grabbing the IV bag by his chair for support. “Duty calls. I must away, my love.”

Martin scoffed, the pale sound muffled and diminished by the emptiness of the room. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Try to go on without me.” His voice dropped the light in it as he placed a hand on Tim’s. His hands were freezing, Jesus. “Seriously, Tim, if you need me…”

“I’ll call.” Tim waggled the phone in the pockets of the linen pants the hospital had provided. “Promise.”

--

“I hear the Great Grimaldi’s in town.”

“That’s not funny.”

“I know.”

He wished the moments after were fuzzy. He wished he could chalk his memories up to delirium or carbon monoxide poisoning. There was the detonator, small and squat in his hands. There was Grimaldi, or Nikola, or whatever that thing was. And there was Jon, kneeling, eyes piercing him in a way he had never experienced before. A moment of true lucidity amongst the madness of the Unknowing.

Tim had pressed the button, resigning this to be his final image, his final memory. The things in the world he hated most, all splayed out in front of him, with the promise of all the things he loved waiting for him. A win-win, really. Go out with a bang, leave a mark on the Stranger, cause some errant destruction, and finally see Danny again. The Stranger would never forget the Stoker brothers, that would have been for sure.

But the combustion and the flames had swept over him like a hot wind. He felt the flames lick the sides of his face, felt smoke choke his lungs, felt impossibly hot ash and air swirl around him in a tango. The building had crumbled around him and Tim had been unable to move, forced to witness every last nanosecond of the chaos he had caused.

And he reveled in it. He had won; he had beaten the Stranger. To know he had avenged the deaths of Danny and Sasha was prize enough.

None of it made any sense. He shouldn’t have survived.

How had he survived?

-

5 Days After Great Yarmouth

“Tim.”

Basira was in Tim’s room, wheelchair parked in the corner and sitting in a visitor’s chair. Her body was tense and still, reminiscent of a panther in some documentary he had watched with Jon. Ready to strike? Or run?

“Basira.” Tim’s voice was careful. “Martin said you weren’t up for visitors today. Glad to see you’re okay.”

“Save it.” Basira’s hands were fisted in her robe, the white and yellow one matching Tim’s, declaring them both as patients under observation. Tim frowned, pulling his IV behind him to sit on his bed, wincing as he bent and adjusted himself. “Daisy’s gone, Jon is…whatever he is. I survived because I was smart.”

Her voice was low and sharp, accusing him of…something. Tim felt blood boiling under his skin, as he waffled somewhere between furious and confused. “Excuse me?” He said pointedly, voice measured, squeezing tight the paper cup of tea in his hand.

“Tim, how are you not dead?” Basira gestured with her hand. “Your burns were all superficial. You broke your arm in the collapse, but you managed to survive the fire.” She shook her head and smoothed the fabric that lay there with her hand. “You and I both know you shouldn’t be alive right now.”

Tim took a steadying breath, though it did little to conceal his frustration. “So what, you think I’m fucking magical or something?” He could feel the heat and pitch rise in his voice. “You think I’m like...like those freaks we read about in the statements? Like-like Jon or Elias or like fucking Nikola?”

Basira opened her mouth to speak but Tim cut her off. “You know why I was there, Basira. For Danny. For Sasha. You bloody well know none of this was supposed to happen.” He gestured in the general direction of where Jon lay, dead to the world. “The audacity to assume I-”

“Tim!” Basira cut in, interrupting his increasingly desperate tone. “Look!” She pointed down. Following her gaze, Tim saw the paper cup he was holding. The cup of tea was steaming. No, it was boiling. He could hear the roil of the water, see the bubbles blossoming on the surface. On instinct, he yelped, tossing the cup of bitter black tea across the room, hitting the sink on the far side of the wall squarely. He winced as the liquid splashed across the mirror, the cup rolling to a stop in the basin.

“What the fuck?” He wiped his hands on his robe. “How the hell did that happen?”

“Did it burn you?” Basira asked, eyes passing over him studiously.

“Ah…” Tim turned his right hand over, checking for any splash marks or blisters on his palm. “No.”

“Are you sure?” Basira asked, raising her eyebrow. At Tim’s irritated roll of his eyes, she folded her fingers together.

“You know that’s not normal, right?” It wasn’t a question.

Tim nodded, voice stolen from him as he processed her words. “Are you trying to say I’m fireproof or something?”

Basira shrugged. “I dunno. Sounds weird enough to be right. I’d say ask Jon about it, but obviously…that’s not happening quite yet.”

“This is so fucked,” Tim mumbled, scrubbing a hand down his face in exhaustion. “I hate this job.”

--

Tim was walking in a black room. Kind of. It wasn’t black, really, nor a room—just the concept of space, devoid of color or light.

Tim was somewhere and it was dark.

He picked a direction and walked. The space he was in was hot, a dry stale heat pressing in on him from all sides. It was like that prickling heat from being too close to a campfire, where the heat should singe your leg hairs. It should have been painful. He should have been sweating. But he felt…good. Great, even. He felt alive and awake and ready.

He walked for what felt like hours in this dreamscape, not knowing where he was going. He had realized he was dreaming around the point where he noticed he was more floating than walking, being guided like a character in a low-res video game. There was something in the back of his mind nudging him forward, coaxing him along some predetermined route.

Suddenly, he stopped. There was something in front of him, maybe four meters away. He couldn’t see it, but he could sense it. This spot in space was the source of all the heat in this room, the warmth surrounding him that was more accosting than comforting. The feeling surrounding him was all-consuming and it made him feel…all sorts of things. Righteousness, anger, betrayal, pain. They were all the emotions he had been feeling at Great Yarmouth, built up upon each other, each idolized in their own way. They were the feelings he had chosen to worship when Jon had stopped being his friend and started being his enemy, when Sasha had been discovered to have never been, when he had looked Nikola in its eyeless face and pressed the detonator. It all felt good to feel.

All of a sudden Tim was struck with a sudden knowledge. If he accepted this heat, this painful destruction, he would never need to worry about being hurt again. He could protect himself, the loved ones he had left (if he still had any), and burn the hearts out of anyone who dared hurt him or his ilk. No one would ever leave him again except on his terms. He understood what the Lightless Flame meant, what it promised, what it could give him in return. He would be able to live on the destruction of those he deemed unworthy of the love of the pyre, those who had so much to lose. Like he had had, once. Like Danny had had. Like Sasha. They had had the world before them, and it was stripped away. The Stranger had the potential to take over the world and he had destroyed every last bit of success it had. And it felt good. He could chase that feeling again and again and again with a family that knew what it was like to love and lose and destroy.

All he had to do was take it in.

-

7 Days After Great Yarmouth

Tim woke up gasping for air. He could feel an icy hand on the back of his neck, colder than anything he knew, dragging him back into reality. He opened his eyes, wincing at the harsh light of his hospital room and yes, he was in his hospital room, not a great expanse of nothing nothing nothing, searching for answers. He reached a hand to the back of his head and felt a frozen rag, dripping icy water down the back of his neck, down his spine.

A nurse was at his bedside, a thin woman with dark blonde hair, checking his vitals with a delicate hand. “Welcome back, Mr. Stoker. You gave us a scare, there.”

“Wha-”

“Your monitor was beeping like mad last night. Said you had a fever of 42, but the machine was probably broken. Thermometer put you more at 40, but still, concerningly high. Gave you some fever reducers and a cool rag, kept an eye on you. Are you feeling any better?”

Tim rolled his neck, hearing his joints crack as he did so. “Uh-” He took stock of his faculties. He felt great, actually. No pain, no stiffness, just a tingling warmth spread throughout his body. Something about that felt...right. But he wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, fine.” He pulled the rag out from under his neck and noticed, for the first time, he was naked.

“Sorry,” she smiled apologetically at the flush that spread across his face and neck. “First rule of fevers: tight clothing comes off. It seemed to have done its job though. You were out for a whole day. According to our thermometers, your temperature’s gone back to normal, but we’d like to keep an eye on you a bit longer, especially with your injuries. They don't seem to be infected, so the fever might have been a latent trauma response to the explosion.” The woman shrugged, her smile light. “Our bodies do crazy things to keep us safe. Even when it hurts.”

“A-apparently so,” Tim nodded softly, squeezing his hands into fists, feeling the nails dig into his palms. At least this wasn’t a dream. He rested his head against the pillows propped behind him and sighed heavily.

The nurse left eventually, when there were no more monitors to check and Tim had promised eight ways to Sunday to press his call button if he needed anything. He settled back into his pillow, listening to the steady beep of his heart amplified on the monitor. The TV droned low in the background, newscasters revisiting today’s tragedies. Had they been on the news when it happened? Tim huffed and shook his head. Not if Elias had a say in it. Probably chalked it up to a gas main.

He grabbed the remote strapped to his bed, and flipped through the channels aimlessly, looking for something interesting…or at least to lull him back to sleep. Kids programming, soap operas, more news, interior design—wait. Tim flipped back to the news channel. Demolition of an old primary school. The reporter spoke to a heated young woman, round cheeks framed by wild curls, who spoke to the camera about the memories and traditions the school represented, how unfair it was to lose such an important monument to the history of her town.

“A shame, isn’t it?”

Tim started at the voice, whipping his head to the door, gripping the remote tight in his hand. The woman standing in the doorway of his room was short and wide, hair cropped close. She wore a grey tank top and black shorts, revealing tattoos of flames licking up the backs and sides of her calves. Something about her face was odd. A little too smooth? The grin on her face seemed wider than normal smiles were meant to be, drooping a little too low.

“Pardon?” Tim managed, grip on the call button tight, even if there was…something keeping him from pressing it.

“About the school.” She pointed to the television as she crossed the threshold, crossing her legs as she sat in the cushy visitor’s chair next to his bed. “So many childhood memories, so many job opportunities, so many opportunities for self-improvement-” She spat the word with malice. “Truly some of my favorite forms of destruction.”

Tim stared at her dumbly. “Do…am I supposed to know who you are?” Her returned chuckle burned him from the inside.

“Oh,” she crooned, more to herself than to Tim. “For keepers of the Eye, you are all so stupid. I am Jude Perry and I serve the Lightless Flame. And, if I’m right, you do too.”

[fairycosmos]

☕️ i feel like makeup should really only be used to make yourself look Strange in some way (bold colors, emo makeup, blush cheek hearts, etc) and i cannot get behind the idea of a “natural look” with makeup like a what? a huh???? say that again slowly. ALSO skincare industry is repackaged makeup culture, everybody has acne and thats not an indication of something that needs 15 expensive products to be “fixed”

koraaaaaaaaa !! so true honestly im at my wits end w it these days. not with ppl who wear makeup obviously, i do myself jfkdkzfkddkz. but at the attitude surrounding it. you can’t talk about it with ppl acting deliberately obtuse and getting offended bc they think they’re being attacked when we criticise an aspect of culture they’ve built their identity around. if makeup was used to make us all look like a bunch of artistic freaks/purely for self expression, and if it served no conventional aesthetic purpose, i’d be way more down for it. but as it stands it’s literally just repackaging what the world considers a more attractive face in a bunch of little boxes to get insecure kids to spend all their money on it. to the point where they feel a total disconnect from their natural looks. i know i do - i’ve worn foundation since i was 11/12 and i can’t stand myself without it. and yeah skin care is the same game just a little more covert. acne, wrinkles, discolouration....theyre literally just parts of the human body. unless someone has a very painful skin condition they don’t need a 10 step face routine yk it’s all getting so ridiculous now and it’s all making so much fucking moneyyyyy. also the natural looks nearly always use the most products which really fuckin blurs the line between whats attainable and what isn’t when it comes to the beauty standard uaaaaagh

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 13 rewatch thoughts; the reduced salt edition

or at least I’m trying to be more constructive with the salt in this one let’s goooo

- god I miss the armourer so much. look at how fucking cool she looks, this is the mando design I hunger for so deeply, WHY would you give me boob plates back instead haha 

- I will say with the way it’s presented this place feels way too small to be called a city lol (and I think that limited scale hurts how much I’m willing to accept the magistrate as a credible opponent to go toe to toe with ahsoka freaking tano. maybe if we’d seen directly the extent of the magistrate’s power and influence and not just the burned out wasteland that power leaves behind I’d be more on board with it. canonically she’s clearly been extremely rich and influential on a galactic scale, while the aesthetic filoni takes from samurai movies in this has a lot more to do with local warlords and smaller stakes. this is not the only time the adherence to that aesthetic without adapting it for the emotional story at hand or giving it a spin for novelty hurts the episode #hot take. it’s empty homage without quite understanding why the moments you’re emulating work so well in the context of the story they serve.) 

this might be because how it’s filmed makes it seem like there’s just one big main street towards the magistrate’s palace, it’s implied to be quite a bit bigger from the establishing shot as the crest comes flying in? 

- LOVE the implication that din lets baby play with the silver ball pretty freely while they’re on the ship but sets the (completely sensible tbh) boundary that he can’t bring it with him somewhere outside where he might lose it for good. that seems like reasonable dad-ing, din, well done. 

anyway my heart is hurting because that silver ball is like a comfort item for the kid and it’s pretty clear from the very start that he has some kind of understanding of what might happen on this planet and so does NOT want to go out there, but also... that thing is narratively introduced as the baby’s way of saying ‘dad, don’t forget me, don’t go’. it’s what made din go back for him the first time, and that’s a connotation it still has both in the audience’s mind and for the characters. and I need to go cry in a corner for a while be right back

- not for nothing but in this scene of the baby being faced with din and a jedi standing side by side as if to present a choice, din literally has the sun right behind his head like some kind of fucking halo

 gee I wonder what the baby’s choice is going to be fsadfjkhasdkjfhs. (he! loves! his dad! so much!!!!!!!)

- I wish they’d done more with the bored punch clock villain, hey-I’m-just-here-for-the-paycheck-man vibe of the guard captain guy and maybe given his nonchalance a bit of a darkly comedic tint, I think it would’ve made a better moment when he’s facing off with din towards the end if he had more... character. make him a bit more of a dark mirror of the soulless gun for hire people have seen din as in the past (and as the magistrate seems to now), do something interesting here. maybe even make it more of a mexican standoff with him holding a gun on an innocent or something so there’s something here for din to lose, it still does the western thing and lets you have that ramping tension you need for when you cut between the sword duel and this. hell, have him actually give up and walk away to show that he doesn’t fucking care about any of this, he did evil for money without any driving passion or conviction behind it, and let din decide if he’ll let him walk away scot free or not after what he’s been part of, that’s a neat subversion of the trope as well! as it stands it’s just so... empty   

- baby says ‘mada! mada!’ again when they try to approach the vendor who appears to be serving foodstuffs! so maybe a word he has for food or maybe something like ‘lady person!’? (he says it when frog lady is gone on the ice planet and also as she’s walking into the razor crest for the first time. he did seem more interested in the eggs at that point, sooo lol)

din reacts to him speaking too, he glances down at him <3<3<3

- the baby seems to sense ‘ooof this is scary, time to hide’ on his own before they go into the magistrate’s place, din doesn’t appear to signal anything to him  

- there’s a lot of deliberate silence in this episode, but the sound design that gets space away from the music somehow isn’t as immersive to me as it usually is on this show? I have no idea why, though 

- ‘a jedi plagues me’ is somehow so fucking funny to me. the tl;dr for a lot of star wars villains through the ages

it also still cracks me up that din is immediately like ‘ma’am you can’t afford me’ fsdhfaskf

- I’m so happy din talks to and reassures the baby when he puts him down in these situations now, I remember being SO SAD when he didn’t back in chapter 7. he’s learning all the time!

- I think we should all be very happy this fight is cut off almost as soon as it begins, because I’m pretty sure ahsoka could kick din’s ass real bad and that would be terrible because I love him (listen din definitely has his moments, but up against a force user for the first time and said force user being one of the most powerful and battle-experienced jedi alive? probably not huh, if he survives that it’s on pure fatherly love and desperation and nothing else)

- this seems to be the baby asking ahsoka to carry him back to be with din (mando certainly seems to be what they’re ‘talking’ about right before) and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen 

din’s fingers are also doing the nervous curl-uncurl thing as she puts the baby down, and it remains the sweetest goddamn character tic, he’s adorable

in the long pause after he tells her “he needs your help” he’s sitting SO TENSELY, it’s only when she at least promises to test the kid that he relaxes a bit

baby (well, grogu, but he’s also baby) recognizes yoda’s name and seems to almost ask ahsoka ‘yoda is here???’, and her blink in response is like ‘no, I’m sorry’ 

- I still deeply dislike how it’s actually done in the episode, it’s so clunky and it annoys me on a craft level, but I do like the overarching thematic narrative of both mando and the baby being on this journey towards specificity and remembering themselves, of reclaiming the particular nuances of an identity that make up a self after a series of traumas have stripped it away from them. at the start of the show neither of them has a name (and din doesn’t even have a face) and they’re basically presented as broad archetypes, The Mandalorian and The Child. and now we’re slowly unearthing things that make them this specific child, grogu, this specific mandalorian, din djarin. it’s rediscovering parts of yourself you might have thought lost as you heal from trauma and I do like that very much, it’s touching and the emotional throughline this show should never lose sight of   

- oooooh no baby glances over at din when she asks him to push the stone back ;______________; it’s so awful because you can just tell... he understands that if he does this thing din might leave, but also people have clearly tricked him into using the Force before and given him this traumatized kneejerk association that if he uses it where people can see him Bad things might happen

oh okay so I think din just subtly misunderstands the baby’s appeal to him here, he thinks that look towards him means ‘dad help I don’t understand what’s being asked of me’. I guess he doesn’t have any way of knowing how complicated the baby’s past is with this yet, it’s a good try

- I’ve seen people take ‘he understands’ as baby understanding everything that’s said to him all the time, which is patently not true haha. he understands quite a lot, in the way toddlers actually understand quite a lot of what’s going on around them, even a bit of words spoken to them before they’re especially verbal themselves, but he clearly mixes up his colours still sooo

I also suspect he’s played this game before -- surely that must be one of the most obvious activities the jedi would do with the smallest children, playing Force catch basically? but he still doesn’t trust it, or her. (on the other hand he does trust that din would never hurt or trick him. help me I’m drowning in my own tears)   

- personally and from anything else in this show I don’t think din would be this impatient with the baby after hearing, less than half a minute before, that he’s terrified

but hey I’m not the man in the cowboy hat what do I know (yes I’m bitter characterization matters okay lol)

- it’s both funny and so sweet that the same music plays during this father and son playing catch scene as when baby lifted that mudhorn fkdfha

- for my money din reacts exactly perfectly to grogu finally Force pulling the ball -- he’s excited and happy, signalling that this thing doesn’t have to be scary and dangerous and that when shared with the right people it can be a good joyous thing, he moves over to the baby so they can share in this victory and attune, and crucially he doesn’t demand more afterwards, which the baby must have gotten before from some of the assholes who’ve been experimenting on him. it’s just the celebration and satisfaction of having done the thing without demands or threats or any ulterior motives. HIM!!! DAD!!!! 

tattoo this straight onto my heart... the way baby cheerfully offers it back to din... sdkjafhksdfhsakdjf 

- din breaths out roughly and unevenly through his nose almost like it’s been punched out of him and starts fiddling with the silver ball (which is still his primary tell for anxiety/stress!) when ahsoka says “he’s formed a strong attachment to you” :) listen if I have to know that all of you fuckers are going down with me 

- see the thing is... if you don’t know who ahsoka is in pretty deep detail, you might take her at face value here instead of understanding that she’s actually projecting her own feelings and traumas onto this. if you absolutely have to use this character for this part of the show you have to set her up better specifically so someone who’s never seen a single episode of clone wars can grasp the basics of where she is emotionally and what her motives are, so that her role in this story makes sense. as it is it’s sort of a compromise between pleasing old fans (who can do quite a bit of inferring to figure it out) and approaching audiences who don’t know anything, and it falls flat    

(for the purposes of this show I aggressively do not care where thrawn is, and so I’m just annoyed when we find out what this was actually all for haha)

- still feel reluctant to discuss too much about ahsoka because of the whole... situation with dawson, but I do like that she lets one of the guards leave after disarming him because he’s cowering and giving up, and that she still has her padawan braid wound into her belt. also I think the effects on her and her outfit are completely fine, my problems with her this episode are all writing craft and real life stuff 

- when you get first the jet pack sound, then din coming down kicking that dude in the face, then the mando flute kicking in as he lands properly... the only time the action in this episode made me go ‘fuck YEEEAAAAH’ it’s awesome

- again, just like with the idea of having a samurai/ronin movie standoff and a western standoff at the same time: having the scene be mostly silent except for the almost musical sounds of the light sabers hitting the beskar spear is such a cool concept, and it does not work in action. I don’t know enough about filmmaking to tell you why it doesn’t, but it doesn’t.

there’s also something about... the ahsoka vs. morgan scene apes the deliberately staged, ritualized, exaggerated almost like how you’d perform it in live theatre aspect of the duels in the genre, but in an empty way? why are they acting like this, what’s their relationship to each other, what’s their individual code of honour that makes them let the other person slowly theatrically disrobe before going for them? just plucking the aesthetics out of a tradition and plopping them down in your own thing without thinking about the whys or original context of it leaves it without meaning 

(also let morgan express something of her own character other than I Am Evil rather than having ahsoka drop the entire exposition on her. maybe you could have her snarl some illuminating lines while they’re fighting so you get the feeling of the bitterness and brokenness that has fuelled her and burned the woods of this whole planet. in some ways she’s not that unlike din and ahsoka, she lost everything in the clone wars too and was motivated very differently by it than they were, play that up so the situation’s relevant to our protagonists! I’m sorry for all this nitpicking but I HAVE to figure out how this could have been done better for my own sake haha)     

- ooooooh the way din says “I can’t accept” when offered the spear is in fact almost an exact echo of when the armourer offers him the signet in chapter 3! I thought it sounded familiar, it’s delivered in such a similar way. huh. din has some Feelings about earning things and when he hasn’t earned something, doesn’t he

- din also cares A LOT about not breaking his word, to the point of being willing to stoop to some quite dishonest methods to avoid giving his word in the first place, and I find it utterly delightful 

- baby closing his eyes again after din wakes him like he’s thinking ‘maybe if I don’t wake up dad won’t go’ or even ‘at least this way I won’t know it happened until later, when it’s over’... pure emotional torture :) thank god din’s entire soul is clearly howling in protest and he took the slightest chance ahsoka gave him to not actually go through with it 

- so this is the second time we get someone telling din he’s like grogu’s father. well, the armourer gives it more like a command/almost a religious obligation, ‘until it is of age or reunited with its kind you are as its father’, ahsoka is stating what’s obvious at this point but says ‘you are like a father to him’... maybe they’re doing a rule of threes thing and the last time it’s ‘you are his father’ and it sticks?

- anyway din cradling the baby so close to his chest with both arms all the time instead of the more practical way he carries him around in the crook of his arm sometimes... my suffering is deep and endless   

[hockeylvr59]

It Started with a DM || Jake Debrusk

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Just another little something that demanded to be written. I was honestly debating on whether or not to write it and then JD went live today and obviously it was a sign.

Warnings: features quarantine as a setting, some cursing. 

Word Count: 3,828

~~~~~~~~~

Being quarantined alone was well, to put it simply, lonely. As a freelance photographer, you were for the most part out of work. You didn’t have a significant other to keep you company, there wasn’t space at your parents’ for you to go home, and your apartment didn’t allow pets. On top of all of that, sports were canceled. Specifically hockey. 

The combination of all of this left an empty hole in your heart and lots of time on your hands. Missing hockey was the whole reason you started watching twitch streams. If you couldn’t have hockey at least you could have hockey players playing video games. You’d started with Zach Hyman and Mitch Marner because Toronto was on a shortlist of teams you were fairly indifferent about. But after a week or so you found yourself watching David Pastrnak because he was on almost daily around dinnertime and it gave you something to listen to while you cooked. Watching Pasta’s streams had led to your introduction to Jake Debrusk and it was silly how the sound of his voice and his laugh brought a smile to your face. It was even sillier because you were absolutely not a Boston fan. Especially not after they knocked your Hurricanes out of the playoffs last season. 

Still, each time that your phone received a notification that Jake had come online you immediately stopped whatever you were doing to watch. You weren’t part of the group that regularly played with him and Pasta, nor did you even really participate in the chats, you just watched. And for a couple hours each time, you felt a little less alone. For weeks this continued, with you only popping in to chat to wish Jake’s sister a happy birthday when he let her take over his stream for a little bit. To be honest you were just grateful for something to do. Never did you expect to log on one day to find a whisper sitting in your inbox. 

Jdebrusk: Hey. Saw you’ve watched quite a few of my streams. Just wanted to reach out and say thanks. 

You weren’t shocked by the fact that he could see a list of viewers, you kind of expected that. What shocked you was the fact that he actually cared enough to reach out to some stranger who he had never actually interacted with before. You weren’t sure what had pushed you to respond, maybe it was the Southern friendliness or maybe it was something else but after typing and deleting a response multiple times you finally pressed send and then immediately closed your browser in a failed attempt to not freak out. 

Yourusername: Pretty sure I should be thanking you for sharing your time with us and making things a little easier. 

____

With no one you followed coming online to stream for a few days, you didn’t even check the site to see if Jake had responded. But when you next logged on and saw a message notification once again you found yourself getting nervous for no reason as you opened it. 

Jdebrusk: Well you’re welcome. Feel free to join in the chat anytime. Streaming has helped keep my family from driving me insane.  

Yourusername: I’m more of a lurker. It’s just easier. And family can be a lot but be grateful you aren’t just staring at 4 walls every day. 

Stepping away from your computer you grabbed your camera and attempted to go for a walk to take some aesthetic shots. As you slipped your memory card into the computer a while later, you noticed another notification. 

Jdebrusk:  Fair enough. You quarantining alone? 

Yourusername: yep. But I guess it could be worse. I could live where it’s snowing in May. 

Jdebrusk: Can I ask where you’re at?

For a split second you debated giving up this information but it didn’t seem like giving away your state could hurt. 

Yourusername: North Carolina. 

Jdebrusk: Nice! Cool state. Been there a few times. 

Yourusername: I’m aware. No need to rub in sweeping my team, Debrusk. 

Jdebrusk: And she’s got a sense of humor ladies and gentlemen. Well, or he...I guess I don’t even know that. AWKWARD. 

Yourusername: She works. 

Jdebrusk: Cool cool. So a hurricanes fan huh? 

Yourusername: Yeah. My family would probably disown me if they knew I was talking to a Bruin. 

Jdebrusk: Yowza. 

Yourusername: So if anyone asks I’m only here for Rocky appearances. ;)

Jdebrusk: She’s only here for my cat. Got it. 

You couldn’t explain why talking with Jake felt so easy but it did. When he came on to stream next you chirped him through whispers the entire time and seeing his reaction in real-time as he read them had you giggling uncontrollably. By the time he got off, you were just waiting for his comments to come streaming your way. Instead of some long-winded rant brushing off all your jabs you just got a single comment in response. 

Jdebrusk: It’s not fair that you can chirp me and I don’t know anything about you. 

Yourusername: What do you want to know? 

Jdebrusk: I mean your name would be a good start. Age might also be important...you’re not like 12 right? 

Yourusername: Would I be quarantining alone if I was 12? I’m 24. Y/N. 

Jdebrusk: right. Right. Y/N from Carolina. Who likes cats. Got it. Are you a student or…?

Yourusername: Freelance Photographer. 

Jdebrusk:  Alright. Nice. Do you do like weddings or nature stuff or what?

Yourusername: A little bit of everything. @wildflowerphotography is my company name if you want to go on insta and see some of my work. 

No reply followed and you tried not to dwell on it. Instead you poured a glass of wine, lit a few candles, and settled into your bathtub, trying to relax for bed. Still nagging thoughts lingered in your brain. Was sharing your company page too much? He probably wasn’t asking for you to promote yourself, he was just being polite right? Though you hated yourself for letting it bother you, you were the type of person who overthought everything...which thinking about it was probably why you were still single. 

Your anxious thoughts lingered and you tossed and turned all night before finally pulling yourself out of bed the next morning. It was only as you dug through your company dms, responding to a few potential clients that wanted you to take socially distant photos for them that you stumbled upon a familiar username. 

Jdebrusk: You took all of those? Holy shit that’s talent. 

The timestamp showed the message was sent only twenty minutes after you gave him the username and you sighed to yourself before chuckling at the fact that Jake was too lazy to switch back to twitch to respond. 

Wildflowerphotography: Thanks. I’m really proud of them all. 

It was still early in the morning so there was no way he was awake with the two hour time difference so after making yourself some breakfast you took another short walk, trying anything to get your mind off of the loneliness that felt worse today than most days. Your mood had definitely been a rollercoaster recently with higher peaks and lower lows than normal. It was something you were trying to manage the best you could but sometimes it was just hard. 

With the rest of your afternoon spent binging a random tv show you didn’t even look at your phone until dinner time, but waiting for you was another dm from the Canadian hockey player. 

Jdebrusk: You should be. 

Jdebrusk: So listen...this is probably weird but can I get your number so I can stop wading through a bunch of dms and whispers I don’t care about and just talk to you? 

It was a fair question but to be blunt, today was probably the worst day for him to ask because your anxiety-riddled brain kept wanting to know why he even cared about talking to you. You didn’t know what he was looking for from all of this but your mind immediately assumed the worst. So instead of just being open with him, you blew him off, completely ignoring his message. And when he logged onto twitch next, though you wanted to watch, you forced yourself to avoid that as well. 

Three days passed before another message appeared. 

Jdebrusk: You okay? You didn’t watch the last stream. I’m sorry if I fucked up. I’ll back off if you want...I just want to know that you’re okay. 

The concern he was expressing was honestly something you didn’t expect and you found yourself crying as you read it over and over. Jake was nothing but a joyous person and the last thing you wanted was to bring him down with the mess of your own mind. 

Wildflowerphotography: you didn’t fuck up. I just...this is all on me okay. 

With your phone left open to your message string with him you watched as little dots appeared before vanishing repeatedly. Eventually a new message appeared simply containing a string of numbers composing a phone number. Jake was putting the ball in your court and a few minutes later the part of you that was aching to hear his voice won the mental war and you found yourself dialing the number. 

“Y/N?” Jake questioned the second he answered and a shaky sob slipped from your throat at the sound of him speaking your name for the first time. “What’s going on?” He murmured and by his tone you could tell he was both confused and concerned. You wanted to speak, wanted to pretend everything was fine but you’d already gone over the edge and it was too late for that now. Another sob spilled through your body and you faintly heard Jake mumble a curse. “Do you want me to just talk to you? I’ll just keep talking okay and you can hang up if you want.” He offered. And talk he did, you weren’t even sure what he was telling you, you were more focused on the grounding sound of his voice itself rather than the content of the words he was speaking. Eventually your breathing steadied out and the elephant sitting on your chest lessened allowing you to murmur his name. 

The second he heard your voice he paused mid-story.

“Thank you.” You whispered into the phone. 

“Are you okay?” He inquired, his voice tentative like he was worried anything he said would push you back over the edge. 

“Better.” You admitted. “Not great but better.” 

“I’ll take better.” He insisted. “It’s nice to actually hear your voice.” He added, causing your cheeks to flame up unconsciously. You opened your mouth to apologize again for your breakdown only to be stopped as he insisted you not do so. “But really...are you okay?” He repeated his question and you sighed. 

“It’s been a rough few days mentally for me.” You admitted. “But I will be okay.” You added. 

“Okay enough to stop ignoring me?” He teased and when you let out another shaky breath he backtracked. “It’s okay, I get it. I was just worried. You don’t have to talk to me ever again if you don’t want to.” 

“I do want to.” You breathed. “Talk to you that is.” As if he sensed you had more to say, Jake remained quiet, only the sound of his breathing coming through the phone. 

“I guess...you should probably know that I tend to overthink things. I want to talk to you. Hearing your voice makes my entire day. I just...I guess I’m just confused on why you want to talk to me. What your intentions are, etc. And you...you don’t have to answer that just...that’s where my head is at.” 

Jake was silent for a minute before his voice reached back through the phone. 

“I’ll be honest, I don’t know what this is either. But I’m intrigued by you and I guess my intention is just to get to know you better if you’ll let me.” Jake’s honesty was refreshing and you nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “And if I can make your day just by talking...well that’s a pretty sweet bonus.” 

______

Quarantine continued to drag on, paused only by some carefully planned photo sessions with your distance lenses getting extra abuse. You continued talking to Jake, mostly through text but with the occasional phone call. He’d whine about the crap he was getting from his sister when he’d disappear to talk to you but he’d insist that it was worth it in the next breath. Between the streams, the phone calls, the texts and the memes he’d send you, suddenly you felt a lot less alone, at least emotionally. 

A month since your first phone call had passed before Jake sent you a text that made your heart stop. 

JD:  So how come I send you pictures all the time and yet I still don’t know what you look like? 

For weeks he had been sending you photos of him snuggling with Rocky or hanging with Jordyn and there had even been a shirtless workout pic or two which had left you debating whether a cold shower was appropriate. At the same time, you hadn’t worked up the courage to send him any photos in return other than ones you took of nature on your walks or snippets from photoshoots you’d done. Trying to downplay it all you sent back a teasing response. 

YN: What can I say I’m a behind the lens person. 

JD: Y/N...c’mon I just wanna see how beautiful you are. 

Leaving him on ‘read’ you sighed and bit your lip not sure how to respond. You were afraid if he knew what you looked like that he wouldn’t want to talk to you anymore and you weren’t sure what you’d do if you lost something that had sort of become a saving grace in this crazy time. 

JD: Is this one of those insecurity things? Is that why I haven’t seen you yet? 

It was starting to amaze you how well Jake could read you. It had been a long time since anyone was able to see through the walls you put up, see behind the camera that you hid behind, but it had only been a month or so and already Jake was starting to read the silences between the words. 

JD: Do you want me to get Jordyn to pump you up? A picture isn’t going to change what I think of you…

YN: You don’t know that. 

JD: C’mon YN give me a little more credit than that. You know I’m not that shallow. I like you okay. I like the woman that chirps me. I like the woman that listens to me and always knows what to say. I like the woman that sees me as Jake and not Boston Bruin Jake Debrusk. And since none of that is based on your physical appearance I’m going to like you no matter what you look like. 

YN: Promise? 

JD: Yeah Y/N, I promise. 

Scrolling through your camera roll you attempted to decide on which of the few photos of yourself made you look at least somewhat pretty before biting the bullet and attaching it to the text conversation. The moment you hit send you winced and your anxiety didn’t ebb until your phone rang in your hand. 

“You’re stunning.” Jake’s voice breathed lowly the second the line connected. “Just as beautiful outside as you are inside which I wasn’t sure was even possible.” By now you knew when Jake was trying to play something up versus when he was being genuine and his voice now was 100% the latter. But taking compliments about your body was never something you’d been good at so you didn’t know what to say in response. 

“I hope you believe me.” He added. “I knew you wouldn’t believe a text even if I sent it 100 times so I hope you can believe me, hearing me say it.” 

“I...thanks Jake.” You finally mumbled. You did believe that he was being honest, he had no reason not to be with you living thousands of miles apart, but at the same time, you still felt uneasy about it for reasons you’d never fully be able to explain. 

___

Tearing down the last barrier of anonymity seemed to open up a new world between you and Jake. If it was even possible you communicated more frequently, adding facetime calls to your usual methods. Seeing the way he looked at you while you talked sent heat flooding through your body and you quickly came to the realization that you were falling hard for him. 

That knowledge was terrifying and once again you wanted to pull away, protect yourself from getting hurt. But then Jordyn stole her brother’s phone and called you, raving about how when all of this was over you had to agree to meet her brother in person because she had never seen him like this over anyone. Talking with Jordyn reminded you that Jake didn’t have to go to all of this work, didn’t have to deal with your crazy emotions if he didn’t think you were worth the time and effort. It may be a pandemic but surely there were women in Edmonton willing to break social distancing rules if it meant scoring someone as wonderful as Jake. But yet each and every night he was on the phone with you, taking the time to get to know all of the things that make you tick, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and dreams. 

And it wasn’t just Jordyn that knew about you. You’d been on the phone with Jake when both of his parents came outside and when he’d asked them to come back in a minute because he was talking to you, they just called out your name in greeting and waved. 

“Your parents know my name?” You’d asked and Jake ducked his head shyly before replying. “I mean yeah…” He stated. “My mom can’t wait to meet you.” You were sure from Jake’s point of view that it was probably comical how wide your eyes went at his statement. 

“Jake what...what is this...are we just friends or…?” It wasn’t a question that you ever anticipated asking but it was out there now. From the other side of the screen, you watched Jake adjust his ball cap over his overly long hair. 

“Fuck...Y/N…” Jake started and you opened your mouth to assure him that friends was fine, that it was what you wanted too because if you didn’t put your heart out there than you couldn’t get hurt. Before you could speak though Jake continued. “No...we’re not just friends. I think you know that as well as I do.” He admitted. “I don’t know exactly what we are. I...I was hoping to meet you in person when I asked if you wanted to be my girlfriend. I know...I know that none of this is ideal because even when this is over there’s going to be the whole long-distance thing but...I can’t deny that I have feelings for you y/n. I don’t want to deny it.” 

“I don’t want to deny it either.” You said softly, fingers tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean...if you’re willing to put up with my emotional baggage…” You shrugged. 

“You have feelings for me too?” Jake questioned, his normal confidence suppressed. “I have no problems supporting you through dealing with your baggage if you’re willing to do the same with mine. I know I’ve fucked up in the past as a boyfriend and I don’t want to do that to you.” 

“I think I’m kinda sorta falling for you.” You stated anxiously, unable to meet Jake’s gaze through the screen until he breathed your name. 

“So can we agree we’re something more than friends and that we’ll figure out the details as part of returning to the new normal?” 

“Yeah...we can agree to that.” You nodded. 

_______

The new normal had finally arrived and that meant that you were going to see Jake in person for the first time. The two of you had been “more than friends” for what felt like forever now but had realistically been a few months but with each passing day you knew you wanted more. You still didn’t know how it would all work with him playing in Boston and you owning a company in North Carolina but you were ready to figure it out together if it meant that you could finally have him for real. 

Jake’s plane was scheduled to land in ten minutes and you were running so far behind. Your senior picture photoshoot had run over and traffic was a mess. You’d texted Jake apologizing but upon getting your text he’d quickly waved your concerns off declaring that he’d just get an uber and meet you at your apartment. It would be a better first meeting anyway because you wouldn’t be time-restricted by parking or pick up zone rules. 

When you finally pulled into your parking lot you checked your phone to see if Jake had arrived yet. It wasn’t until you reached the front steps of your building that you noticed someone sitting there, bags beside them. He looked up at the same time that your brain processed that it was him and he was really there and tears instantly prickled in your eyes. As you rushed to close the distance, Jake stood to catch you as you threw yourself at him. 

No words needed to be said as you tugged his mouth down to your own, kissing him for the very first time. It was nothing like you had expected but at the same time it was everything and at that moment you knew that this was it, you were in love. It had been such a long wait, but the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, his lips against yours was well worth it. It was cheesy but you knew that the physical chemistry was only this strong because you already knew each other inside and out and now that he was here, now that he was finally yours, things could only get better. 

Being with Jake despite the distance wouldn’t be easy but now that you knew the way he felt, the way he tasted, the scent of his cologne, you were willing to do whatever it took to make it. If you could fall in love during a global pandemic, you could do anything and it would make a great story to tell the grandkids one day about how they only came to exist because of a direct message on a streaming site while the world was quarantined. 

[rvmmm21]

[ V V S her diamonds ] – ch 07.

[7:30 p.m] Yerim slaps Seulgi’s hand away when she sees her trying to nick her fries while Seungwan obnoxiously slurps on her banana smoothie.

. . . . .

They’re out for dinner at RETROGAMEBAR smack dab in the middle of Hongdae. The trendy, western fusion restaurant is fast growing in popularity. Various rustic signs hang from retro cafe aesthetic walls and an iconic vintage jukebox booms throwbacks from eras long passed. The food is served on millennial pink pastel plates and, if you’re lucky, you’ll catch your favourite video game characters in time for a quick selca. It’s not really Seungwan’s scene, but Yerim insisted they had outstanding MangoPlate reviews. And of course, Seulgi was just hungry.

“Unnie,” Yerim calls, poking her chopsticks into the roof of her mouth as their main course is being served. “You know Joohyun unnie is like way too cool for you.”

Seungwan is too busy thanking their waitress to respond. But Seulgi catches it and chokes on a mouthful of steak. Her eyes balloon and she nods so hard it looks like her head’s about to fall off. “Right? I–” she remembers she has to swallow to talk. “I really thought we’d have to pay her to come to our study group at first.”

Yerim shakes her head in disbelief, absentmindedly poking the little toothpick umbrella chilling in the whipped cream of her strawberry shake. She swipes a lick of cream then interrupts Seulgi’s chewing with a nudge to her side. “What do you think someone like Joohyun even sees in this greasy loser?” She whispers over the noise of the bustling restaurant.

For a moment, they quietly watch poor Seungwan innocently munching on her sushi burger. She glances up after a second. 

“Hm? What’s wrong?” she blurts through stuffed cheeks, staring back at them, confused. “Is there something on my face?” 

A cat-like curiosity suddenly graces Yerim’s tone. “What do you and Joohyun unnie even talk about?” She suddenly grabs her paper straw threateningly. “Stop holding out on us! If you don’t spill all the deets before I finish this smoothie, I’m sleeping in your bed tonight.”

The inquisitive bear gleefully concurs. “Yeah, Wan. Yerimie, that looks mighty delicious. Give me a few sips.”

The pair’s teasing remarks have Seungwan swallowing her food and her nerves all in one. She’s flooded with memories and suddenly it’s so hard to secure a linear course of events. What is she supposed to say? A month ago, Bae Joohyun was a complete stranger and now they dutifully send each other morning calls so they can catch the same bus and walk to class together? That she keys in the employee discount for her whenever she isn’t making her coffees for absolutely free?

Is that what these knuckleheads want to hear? Probably. And she should probably tell them the whole truth after keeping them in the dim for this long. All they know is that her and Joohyun have been spending more and more time together recently and their blossoming friendship is pretty much fully bloomed. Perhaps now is a good time to come clean. But that’s before she catches Yerim casually pinching one of her juiciest onion rings off her plate.

Huh, what do you know? Seems like they can wait a little longer, after all.

The girl sits back, hoping the caramel wisps of her fringe hide the impish twinkle in her pupils. “Uh, well, a bunch of stuff, I guess. Literature, coffee, poetry, books, I dunno– anything honestly.”

The youngest goes slack against the back of her chair, defeat written across her face as she clutches her stomach. “Poetry? Gross, that wasn’t worth chugging for,” she groans.

Seungwan snorts and Seulgi slaps a hand to her forehead. “Ugh, you’re telling me you’ve spent every waking hour with the Bae Joohyun and all you talk about is work?!”

She’s is about to interject when she remembers she’s also a freaking barista. 

. . . . . 

[9:08 p.m] Seulgi and Yerim gift Seungwan knowing smirks and jeers when she returns from the bathroom after leaving her phone unlocked on the message board and for all to see. Howl’s Moving Castle is paused on the living room TV.

. . . . . 

“Only for the project?” Yerim accuses with a wagging finger, lips curling up in a huge, shit-eating grin. “Tsk, liar, liar.”

Seulgi teasingly elbows her. “Don’t be so quick to judge, Yerim-ah, maybe horoscopes are part of the grading rubric.”

The defendant palms her cotton-candy cheeks, mumbling something no one can hear. 

It doesn’t matter though, it’s not like the other two were ever going to listen to her excuses. Seulgi victoriously snags the tail off Seungwan’s Melona fish ice-cream (earning her an unamused frown) and bites straight into it– despite the winces aimed at her.

“By the way are we going to Taeyeon sunbaenim’s party on Saturday? Have we decided? I need to know if I need to cancel dance practice.” Seulgi cards a hand through her towel-dried hair. 

Seungwan charily eyes her. “Why are you asking us? Didn’t you blow off your dance buddies right after Sooyoung asked you?”

Yerim dips a Ruffles potato chip into her scoop of vanilla, cringing when it doesn’t taste the same. “Yeah, like a week ago.”

The dancer blushes harshly. She’s about to reassure them with the classic ‘bros before h’– hang on. It’s a text from Sooyoung. She holds a finger up and starts typing, ignorant to the pointed eye-rolls.

Seungwan taps her delivery app while Seulgi is preoccupied. “C’mon Yerm, I’ll order us real fries. This ice cream needs a kick anyways.”

“A Big Mac too, extra pickles.” Seulgi snaps around to slip her order in right before the caramel-haired girl presses order.

She gasps in shock when a pillow is chucked right at her nose. She throws it across the room, revealing Yerim’s disgusted face. “Extra… dude, you’re seriously freaky.” She half-heartedly leans into one of their many sofa cushions next to Seungwan. “But we have to go to the party.”

“Ugh whyyy,” Seungwan groans. “Our deadline is right round the corner. The timing sucks.”

“Oh come on, this is our shot!”

“Yeah, at fail–”

“At getting to know our seniors! Who knows what kind of stuff could happen?” she winks suggestively.

Seulgi and Seungwan can already see the schemes unravelling behind their friend’s eyes. They smother the urge to throttle that cocky smile plastered across her face and let her go on.

“As your leader and friend, I’m willing to share some of my tips. Listen, ‘cause I’m only gonna say this once.” She stresses the word ‘once’. “Let’s say you find someone you like, right? How do you know they like you back? Is it gonna go any further? Here, for example, here’s Seungwan unnie and Taeyeon sunbaenim sitting at the same table.” 

Yerim swipes a protesting Seulgi’s half-eaten ice-cream fish, holds it out next to hers and proceeds to demonstrate. “Every chance you get, inch your chair closer to hers, like this. Who cares what you’re talking about, just don’t make it obvious. Then check to see if she’s moving away from you or staying the same. If she doesn’t move away, well then…” 

The older girls regard, motionless as the ice-cream fish faces are smushed sloppily together. Seulgi slowly applauds. “Wah, daebak… that’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard.” Seungwan laughs. “Why not just talk to her about what she likes or dislikes?”

Yerim beats at the air in frustration. “Hey, this isn’t a game, okay? It’s super psychological stuff. Thanks a bunch for not appreciating my wisdom, sheesh.”

Seulgi reclaims her liquified dessert as Seungwan pats the love guru on the shoulder. “Yah, who are you even telling? You know I’m not interested in anyone there. And Seul won’t even look at anyone who isn’t Sooyoung. Is there something you’re not telling us, Yerimie?”

Before the girl can defend herself, Seungwan’s screen lights up with a ping! Two notifications.

Their midnight snack order is on its way and the goldfish-brained friends are now calling dibs on each other's food before the delivery boy even arrives. 

[avernale]

Have You Seen the New Pokémon Reveal Trailer? Have You SEEN it?

Been a while since I've done this, huh? I blame the anti-hype for Sword & Shield. I probably did a bit more after that, but I think I completely forgot to do this for Legends Arceus. Didn't I? Anyway...

I was going to comment about the rest of the Direct, but Tumblr glitched out and now over a half hour of work is gone. I'm a little upset, but no big loss. I only wanted to discuss one trailer, anyway.

Here's the whole direct to avoid spoilers. If you actually managed to avoid those spoilers, my hat goes off to you.

I would've done this day-of, probably, but I had to work that day. Saw it literally right before leaving for work.

We open on a lone security guard patrolling an empty office building after hours...

(Honestly, at this point I thought the next game was going to have a more realistic, possibly horror vibe to it. But this clearly not CG, and is probably just suspense for the sake of hype.)

He notices some strange lights coming from the offices of a familiar company...

(As if we didn't already know who's putting out this trailer)

Cautiously, he opens the door...

...And this is what Game Freak's offices look like?

Does this mean there's an antiquity theme in the next game? If not set in the past, at least researching it. There was a bit of that in Sword & Shield, after all. I feel like we've seen this room before in some other Pokémon reveal trailers, like Legends Arceus. Maybe a Meltan video?

Oh! See the image on the thing slung over the chair! I bet that means something!

Then, things get paranormal as the music swells! The room is shaking, lights are flashing, clocks are running backwards, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria!

The door slams behind him!

There's something glowing on the wall! A monitor? A portrait? Our attention is pulled straight towards it!

Everything goes white and...

...Cue game footage!

Lush, detailed landscapes! Beautiful castles! Picturesque towns! Windmills with disappointingly low frame rates!

Seriously, I missed the Hoppip the first time I saw it. I can't help but feel like someone at Game Freak considers it "Aesthetic" enough to make this acceptable footage.

Familiar faces!

Admittedly, there's a better view of Meowth immediately after this, but I wanted to get those signs in. There's plenty of Pokémon from across the generations in this trailer, but Meowth stands out to me. Its like one of the first things they wanted us to know was there will not be a regional Meowth form in this game. Does this mean no new regional forms at all? Maybe there is a new Meowth and both (or all!) will appear in this game. It could also still have a new evolution, like Perserker in Galar. Honestly, I find new regional Meowths not being a new tradition for this series to be a little disappointing.

I didn't realize at first that the male and female trainers (presumably the protagonists) were different people when I saw them. It wasn't until I tried to get screenshots that I saw they had different colored shorts and hairstyles. I could've sworn the boy had emo bangs in the shot in his room.

A shot of the Switch (OLED Model) in the boy's room transitions back to one in the office with the security guard.

He looks around, starting to relax a little now that the chaos has ended.

Then BAM! New Starters!

Pompadour duck! Siamese grass cat! ...Dinosaur apple?

Honestly, when I saw this the dinosaur bits didn't register at all. I spent all night at work wondering what this apple-shaped hippo thing is supposed to be. Each fire-type starter is based on a creature from the Eastern Zodiac. This is Gen 9, there are 12 zodiac creatures, and the remaining ones are snake, horse, ox, and goat. I figured the ox was closest to what I saw, but this Bubble-Bobble-looking thing will probably evolve into a snake like Snivy did. Or a dragon, if we decide Charmander is the snake. Sure, Charizard looks like a Dragon, but it's not Dragon type (Mega evolution notwithstanding), and it's about as much a snake as this thing is.

I'd ask why in the name of almighty Sinnoh it looks like an apple, but it's probably a jalapenos pepper or something. But wouldn't that also make it a grass type? Maybe its final form will be part grass.

Speaking of, that duck's final form better be something awesome. That is easily the most underwhelming of the three as-is. The cat's pretty basic, too, but that duck is just so not worth looking at. I'd go with peppersaurus here, but I did fire in Alola and grass in Galar, and that leaves me with the duck. Granted, I don't have to stick to that pattern, but for now I'm assuming I will.

Also, when I saw these I couldn't help but feel like I've seen them before. Like Fakemon or rejected beta Pokémon. I think I said that about the other starters, too, but not with an actual sense of familiarity. It's wierd. Maybe it's the face peppersaurus looks like Bubble-Bobble.

Then the title drop. I got spoiled on these because I forgot about the direct until I went on YouTube and saw a thumbail for a reaction video. Just the titles, though, so not too big a deal.

An interesting combo, though. I'd not think of those as opposites, but red and violet are on opposite sides of the color scale. Neighbors on the color wheel, though. Sounds like names of fan games, Scarlet especially. Something about that word suggests blood to me. Violet just sounds random to me (although... Violence?)

But "Scarlet" also suggests "Fantasy" to me. Like Will Scarlet from Robin Hood. Also the sequel to the original Peter Pan story is called "Peter Pan in Scarlet." (He takes over for Captain Hook or something). There did seem to be plenty of castle-like architecture, although that's not unusual for a Pokémon game, I think.

I had watch a theory video by Lockstin a while back that this game was to be set in a location analogous San Francisco. Game Freak likes to go on-location to get inspiration for new regions, and when asked where they went after completing Sword & Shield they crypitically said, "Redwood." Lockstin noted that of all the Redwood Cities in America's West coast, the only one with actual redwood trees was near San Francisco. But here? I'm not getting a "California" vibe, much less "San Francisco," but with all the castles... Maybe Disneyland?

Then, at the very end, we see it releases in... Late 2022!? That's this year! I'm not done with Legends Arceus yet! It's too soon, I tells ya! Too soon!

[pop-goes-the-sneasel]

Could you do one on Zoroark if you haven’t?

Pikachu!!!!!!!!! Oh dang, that’s a big one-Oh! Oh, huh. My mistake. Zoroark!!!!!

Zoroark’s an incredibly stylish semi-anthropomorphic fox creature, with a slick design and some amazing vibes. Like Ninetales, it’s based on kitsune, Japanese fox spirits often depicted with the power to shapeshift. Zoroark emphasises that shapeshifting aspect with its ability, Illusion, which allows it to take the form of the final pokemon in the player’s party! This is an INCREDIBLY cool ability, and one of the most unique ones in the franchise. It can even freely create illusions in general, a skill it uses to hide its den!

The most notable thing about Zoroark, though, is how it was marketed as Gen V’s equivalent to Lucario. One of the first-revealed Gen V pokemon, it got the title role in the movie, Zoroark: Master of Illusions. The special event distributions for the Celebi and Legendary Beasts that appear in the movie were necessary for obtaining Zoroark and its pre-evolution, Zorua, in Black and White. It was an immensely convoluted process involving transferring the event pokemon from HeartGold or SoulSilver and then triggering an event in Black or White using them. Celebi would obtain Zorua, and a Beast would obtain Zoroark.

The transfer of these event pokemon was enabled by a special transfer mechanism called the “Relocator” – event pokemon transferred using the normal Poke Transfer apparently couldn’t trigger the event. To further complicate it, the Relocator had to be unlocked by inputting a specific phrase when talking to a scientist in Castelia City: “Everyone Happy Simple Connection”. Once you did so, you would need still a second DS to actually do the transfer. Basically Zoroark was prohibitively difficult to obtain, far worse than the typical mythical pokemon, and it’s my theory that this is what prevented Zoroark from becoming a bigger name. Nobody could get one! Game Freak had put so much stock in this design but then made it nigh-impossible to actually obtain, so who was gonna actually develop a connection with it????

If you DID manage to follow all those steps though and trigger the event, you’d get a pretty cool sequence in Lostlorn Forest. When you first arrive there, there’s a woman living in a trailer who doesn’t speak when interacted with. However, if you have an event Legendary Beast in your party, approaching the trailer will lead her to emerge and attack the player with a screeching growl. Then you fight another Legendary Beast, apparently the woman, which then turns into Zoroark when attacked. Neat! I love this sequence a lot, and if it wasn’t locked behind such an arcanely unintuitive event, I feel it would’ve actually helped boost Zoroark’s popularity.

Zoroark also received a super strong card in the TCG, which was dominant for quite a while! Its ability, Trade, provides an incredibly efficient draw engine that helps make room for lots of otherwise-circumstantial cards to disrupt the opponent’s strategy. Its main attack, Riotous Beating, is also quite strong, able to deal 120 damage with a full bench. Trickster GX, meanwhile, enables copying any of the opponents’ attacks – a common mechanic with Zoroark cards, and quite on-brand even if it’s not an ability it has in the main series.

Zoroark’s got a pretty killer shiny, with indigo-purple hair and burgundy accents. It’s also dramatically different from Zorua’s shiny, which is odd, given the two pokemon share colour schemes in their base forms. Both shinies are great, though, so it’s hard to be annoyed by it.

But yeah, aesthetically and conceptually, Zoroark is FANTASTIC. A great colour scheme and a great silhouette, on top of its solid illusion fox motif. I especially love how its tail is incorporated as a ponytail at the end of its mane-like fur, and the kabuki theatre-esque markings on its face. It just does so much right, and it’s a pity that it ended up getting its overall popularity cut by its weird distribution issues. Which isn’t to say it’s unpopular, because it is still the second-most-popular pokemon of Unova, but like, y’know what I mean. It’s still no Lucario. …Though I personally think Zoroark’s a much stronger idea and design.

Got robbed/10.

[snowdice]

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 17)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned, explosions, car crashes (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 My Master Post

“Aw, come on kiddo,” Patton beseeched doing his absolutely best not to laugh at the adorable discontent expression on Anxiety’s face.

“You murdered all of my cows,” the boy grumbled. “All of them!”

Patton did giggle then. “That’s the game.”

“You knew!” Anxiety insisted. “You knew the cemetery was there, didn’t you? You’re familiar with this highway. That’s why you let me take the 150 cows you cheater.”

Patton didn’t bother to deny it. “All’s fair,” he said instead.

“You’re the worst,” Anxiety shot back. “Why don’t we play a game I can win.”

“Like what?” Patton asked, curious.

“Like…” he said. “Like, let’s play a game where whoever’s youngest wins.”

Patton chuckled. “Well I guess you’ve got me beat there.”

“Or a contest to see who has the straightest hair.”

“Sounds like a fun game, but we’d have to wash both of our hair just to make sure neither of us are cheating and have product in.”

There was a pause and Patton glanced over at him.

“Aw!” he cooed. “Do you secretly have curly hair too?”

Anxiety groaned.

“That’s adorable!”

“Is not,” he grumbled, folding his arms over his chest. “It ruins my aesthetic.”

“Aw, stop being so grumpy, kiddo.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be if you hadn’t murdered all of my cows.”

“I sure did kill the moo-d, huh?”

Anxiety groaned. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“…Carjac-”

“I know, I know,” Anxiety huffed. Patton smiled over at him and reached over to ruffle his hair. “Ugh, stop! No!”

“I want to see the curls!” Patton teased as Anxiety batted him away.

“You’re lucky I don’t have the god damned knife.”

“Excuse me, was that a bad word Mister?”

“Ugh,” Anxiety groaned.

“I will turn this car around,” Patton threatened.

“Oh, yeah,” Anxiety said. “That’s what would make you stop driving. Silly me. I’ll try not to use the grown-up words.”

“See that you don’t.” Anxiety just shook his head and turned the radio up a bit to ignore him.

“The cows have been cleared up,” Anxiety noted.

Patton hummed. “Do you want to get on the interstate again?” he asked. “It would be about 10 minutes faster and I’m sure if anyone was tracking us, we lost them in all of that.”

“Sure,” he agreed. “I don’t see why not.” Patton nodded and took the next turn back onto the familiar interstate.

“So,” Patton hedged once they were back on the main road. “We’ll be there soon. What are your plans once we get there? Nothing in particular,” he rushed to say when he saw the kid frowning. He was a secretive little thing. “Just, what do you want me to do?”

“Oh, um,” he said, playing with the edges of his hoodie sleeve. “I don’t know.” He paused. “You can leave if you want.”

A smile flickered across Patton’s face. Not likely kid. “Well, I’m not going to leave at least until I make sure you’re with someone.”

“Thanks,” Anxiety said softly.

“I’m with you all the way Anxiety.”

“I still don’t understand you at all.” Patton just shrugged and smiled. “Also, you can call me Vee.”

“Ooo a partial name,” Patton said. “I’m moving up in your esteem.”

“I didn’t say that,” Vee snapped back. “My name might be Bob for all you know.”

“Right,” Patton agreed. “Of course. Bob. My bad.”

That caused Vee to smile though he seemed to be fighting it. After a few moments, the smile faded, and he started playing with the strings on his hoodie. “You’ve got to get back to your family though, eventually,” he said.

Patton shrugged, not mentioning the fact that they were literally driving towards his brother this very second. “They’re all adults who can more than handle themselves. My brother’s older than me and the twins have him. You need me a bit more right now.”

Vee thought for a moment, still rubbing his fingers over the frayed edge of the hoodie string. “I have an older brother,” he offered.

“Oh?” Patton asked.

“I tried to call him earlier after my uncle,” Vee said. “He didn’t pick up.”

“Well, I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for that, just like with your uncle.”

Vee bit his lip. “I don’t know if…” he said, “if he’d be on my side in this or not.”

“What do you mean?”

Vee looked away out the window. “Our mom’s the one who killed my dad,” he said quietly.

“Oh, honey,” Patton said softly. “I’m so sorry.”

“So, I don’t know if my brother would side with her or not. I don’t want to think he’d hand me over to her if I went to him, but…”

Poor kiddo, Patton thought. He wished he could say with certainty that his brother wouldn’t do something like that, but Patton didn’t know enough about him to know for certain. He hoped not. “I’ll help you figure it all out,” Patton promised. “I’ll make sure you don’t have to go with your mom.”

Vee snorted. “I don’t know what you can do, but thanks for the sentiment.”

“Oh,” Patton said. “I think I could do a thing or two.”

“Sorry,” Vee said dryly, “but your reaction to a carjacking was to get me ice cream.”

Patton laughed lightly. “Good point.

“I really don’t want to go with my mom, but I don’t think the cops would listen to me,” Vee said. “She’s technically my mom even though I’ve never even spent the night at her house. Does this make her my legal guardian now?”

“If she’s the one who killed your father, I doubt people would let you go with her.”

“You don’t know mom,” Vee mumbled. “I’m sure no one would even think to try to arrest her for that, let alone convict her. Would they let my uncle be my guardian even if she isn’t arrested?”

“They’d be willing to do that I’m sure. Especially since you’re already 15, anyone would listen to your opinion on where you live.” Vee look at least a bit relieved at that. “So, you like your uncle then?” Patton asked.

“He’s great,” Vee said. “He lived with us when I was really little. He always made me eat my vegetables and helps me out when I’m anxious. He’s a psychiatrist so he knows his stuff.”

“I have a friend whose brother is a psychiatrist,” Patton said. “I’ve never met him, but Logan sends people to him when they need mental health care. It’s a big help for a lot of them.”

“Yeah,” Vee agreed. “It wouldn’t be too bad living with him, I guess.”

 “Well I’ll make sure you end up with him and not your mom, okay?”

“Sure,” Vee replied.

Patton shot him a half smile and they continued driving for a few minutes before he exited the interstate. “We’re almost there” he told Vee.

Vee bit his lip. “I hope this wasn’t a stupid idea…” he said.

“Oh, I’m sure it’s fine,” Patton said. He flipped a switch on near his steering wheel that would open the gate for them a few seconds before said gate came into view. He drove up the driveway and chose to park in front of the ‘factory’ instead of trying to park in the underground parking garage which would certainly freak Vee out.

“Just looks like a creepy abandoned factory,” Vee commented, eyeing the old concrete building with its boarded over windows. “It’s almost too perfectly abandoned,” he said, eyes narrowed. Smart boy.

“Ready?” Patton asked.

Vee still looked nervous, but he nodded determinedly after a moment and exited the car. Patton followed him. He let Vee lead the way up the gravel path to the entrance of the building. He studied the door for a couple of minutes and then pushed it slowly open. Patton was sure at this point that someone downstairs had probably noticed them and would come up to greet them soon.

Vee was looking around himself with suspicious eyes. “Okay,” he said. “What do we do now?”

“Probably just wait to see if anyone comes to meet us,” Patton said.

Vee started poking around a bit. “It’s pretty clean for an abandoned factory,” he said.

“Mmhmm,” Patton replied.

He considered a couple of panels near the door and Patton observed him, curious about what he’d do. He made a startled noise when one of the panels came off. “Oops,” he said. He peered into the hole he’d just made. “Well… that’s not good. Whoever put that camera there is probably not going to be happy with me.”

Patton had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. The person who put that camera there would not.

Vee set the broken panel back against the wall. It hung off of it awkwardly. “At least we know there really is someone here and it’s not just an abandoned factory.”

“That is good,” Patton agreed. Just then there was a soft ding which Patton identified as the hidden elevator the room over.

Vee’s head shot up to look in the direction of the sound, and the boy shuffled closer to Patton.

Logan himself rounded the corner after a moment and looked over at them with his lips pursed and looking especially cross. “How is it,” he asked, “that you always do exactly what I need you to do in the most irritating and inconvenient way possible?”

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Part 18