#what about all of their things? I'm literally thousands of miles away

[voluptuarian]

I'm trying to avoid people's dumb takes on Nosferatu but I keep being exposed to the tip of the iceberg and am annoyed enough about it to rant about it.

There's nothing in there that implies she was a kid. She lived in her family home, in the room she had lived in her whole life-- very typical for an unmarried adult woman at the time, especially in a well off family. Everyone determined that this had to be Orlok "grooming" a "child" are just fixated on that interpretation because it's nasty-sounding enough that they can condemn the relationship as "irredeemable" and "problematic" without sounding like pearl-clutchers. It's the magic word that lets them look vindicated in writing the whole thing off. She's not played by a child, she is dressed and styled as an adult, and the needs she's expressing, for attention, for recognition, for physical and emotional intimacy, are in no way limited to children. She's a young woman yearning for things that everybody wants and she's been denied. Ellen having been neglected, lonely, and starved for affection doesn't negate her adulthood. Her walking into a bad situation as a result of all that doesn't make her "groomed." Plenty of grown adults wind up in bad relationships because they're naive and desperate for love.

Similarly, everyone determined that one side of the triangle here wasn't "real" or that she "actually" only felt a connection with one of them and nothing for the other is similarly ridiculous. Thomas is the relationship Ellen chooses intentionally and conscientiously and which provides her the future she wants while satisfying her physical and emotional desires in a safe, secure, loving environment. Orlok is the first love, the first major relationship that she fell into because she was reckless and desperate for affection, that at first satisfied her needs but turned sour and dangerous-- that relationship becoming scary, unpleasant, coercive, doesn't erase the good things they had together once. Ellen and Orlok is the bad breakup between people who's freak matched too well. In the normal world it'd be a bad breakup with a toxic partner; in hers he's unfortunately also a an amoral inhuman manifestation of consumption.

And as for "Orlok doesn't love Ellen blah blah he's only an appetite blah blah." Love is an appetite. Need is an appetite. Loneliness is an appetite unmet. It's all hunger!! Why the FUCK is a zillion year old ghoul aristocrat holed up in a ruin in Eastern Europe tuned in enough to immediately respond to the random calls of some nameless unimportant woman he's never met a thousand miles away?? Because he's as desperate as she is, and for similar things. He was already listening, was already looking for someone-- he was desperate and searching first. His needs are twisted because he's a literal monster, but they still echo hers. The freak is matched, the freak in this case being deep emptiness and desire to be wanted and embraced. Unfortunately for him, Ellen can look elsewhere to satisfy those desires when he no longer makes her happy and find people who will-- and she does. Orlok can only go where he is called, must be chosen under special circumstances, which, seemingly out of everyone within his considerable reach, only she has offered. If what Orlok feels isn't love, its the survival in his mockery of life of what would have been love. But what ends in real love with union, ends for him with destruction and a return to lonely solitude-- that's his curse.

Ellen saves the man she chose by rejecting their future together, by breaking their marriage vows, and by sacrificing herself. She chooses the sacrifice as an act of autonomy, but one that subverts her own desires and victimizes her. It's a tragedy, but it's also a victory. It's a succumbing to the predations of the lover who wouldn't let her go, but its also making peace with him, taking into her embrace a figure she hates and fears but still feels connected to. It's fulfilling the monster's insatiable need, granting him the union he craves the only way it can be: through his death. Orlok is loved, and betrayed, and saved. Thomas is loved, and betrayed, and saved. Ellen chooses love for both of them, betrays them both, saves them both, betrays and saves herself. All of those things can be happening at once, just as tenderness, rejection, repulsion, evil, and love can all be happening at once. Is it comfortable? No. That's the point! But expressing your discomfort with that story as "I will willfully misinterpret this movie and dismiss its themes in whatever most easy to excuse way I can because I feel uncomfortable" is the path of the hack and the coward, and I think that's the what the majority of these "takes" are really about.

[crowleystolemyshoes]

why is there so much paperwork when someone dies

[lowkeyerror]

The Family Business Ch.12

WandaNat x Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Ch. Notes: It's a converstion so dialouge heavy, non-sexual nudity

Summary: Natasha and Wanda reveal their feelings.

An: Ok... ok late again, but tell me it's not worth the wait. (Please don't) Hopefully you love it because it's 2:25am but I'm still doing this for yall and yes if everything goes right new ch. on Monday

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Wanda couldn’t look at you when she was speaking. You could see she was trying to find the words, but you didn’t know how to help her.

Natasha knowing what her wife is trying to say tries to take over.

“ Before I met you I was a little jealous. Seeing the love of my life light up talking about someone who was quite literally thousands of miles away, was a hard pill to swallow. I haven’t known you as long as Wanda, but I can see now why she had always spoken so highly of you.”

You want to interrupt the red head and say anything back to her, but you don’t. They had said they wanted to tell you everything before you spoke so you intended to let them.

“When Papa sent me away, I resented him for it. It was a great opportunity and a show of good faith, but I was angry with him because I didn’t want to leave you here. I thought we had grown quite close, little krolik. You were the best part of all my days. So much so that even thousands of miles away I couldn’t shut up about you. Even after I fell in love, you’d always find a way into my mind,” Wanda plays with her wedding ring as she speaks.

You look between the two woman silently urging them to continue.

“I’ve been many places, lived many lives, and have met many people, but I've never met anyone like you. There’s this light inside you that you keep so close to your chest. I can feel it behind all the walls you put up. I see it in how intensely you care about your family and I admire it. I admire you,” Natasha isn’t scared to take your hand in hers.

Wanda continues, “It’s hard not to admire you. If Natasha has seen it in these few months, it’s safe to say I’ve always seen it. I saw it before you put all these walls up, when you let it be known to everyone. I think that’s what startled me so much when I came home. I felt like a soldier come home from war to see his home was no longer his.”

The woman begins to get emotional. You reach out your other hand for her to take, not knowing what else to do.

“When I saw Wanda interact with you for the first time, I felt something. It wasn’t jealousy or hatred or anything like that. It was this overwhelming warmth. Seeing her hold you as if you’d disappear, seeing her smile as big as our wedding day, it made me happy,” Natasha recounts.

Wanda sighs, “When we were in my old room at the dinner I was terrified. I thought you were going to tell me the same thing everyone else had when it came to you, but you didn’t. You held me, dried my tears, and I think things really started to fall into place for me then.”

“I met Wanda when she was technically on a job. She was leading and in charge of operations. I had seen her get angry or upset on multiple occasions, but I don’t know if I ever saw her as mad as that night. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears when she had Pietro against the wall. As far as I knew, I was the only one who could calm her down, but then you did it like it was second nature.”

You speak quietly, “She’s always had a temper.”

You think the woman will roll her eyes, but she doesn’t, “I have and you have always been there to calm me down. I don’t know how to say this, Y/n. When I met you, you were just my little brother’s best friend, but then you became my friend and then a part of my family. You were so delicate back then, you weren’t even 18 for Christ sake.”

Natasha tries to help her wife find her bearings, “But by the time she left you were 22 and you had grown into a young woman.”

Wanda shakes her head a bit, “You had done a lot of growing, that I didn't want to see, that I was trying to ignore because I didn’t want you to think that I had intentions of taking advantage of you. I felt like at the time I was too old, you were too young, and we were too close.”

You look at her with confusion on your face. There’s only one thing that she could be talking about in your mind, but this can’t be happening.

“What are you saying Wanda?”

For the first time in the conversation her eyes meet yours. You see the fear in them, the uncertainty, the desperation. Her hand let’s go of yours and finds itself on her bouncing knee.

“I don't want to ruin this and I'm so scared of losing you, but if you would’ve died in that alley not knowing that I’m in love with you it would’ve destroyed me.”

You feel your heart beating against your chest. Your mouth opens and closes a few times as you try to find your voice. You find yourself stuttering for the first time in years, “Y-you w-what?”

Wanda stands abruptly trying to run from the conversation. This makes you panic and try to stand as well. However, you forget about your ankle and yelp at the weight you put on it.

Wanda’s arms are quick to steady you before you do anymore damage to yourself. She’s close to you and you swear you can hear her heartbeat.

“D-did you s-ay-” you give up frustrated with your reappearing stutter.

Wanda’s grip on you tightens slightly, “I’m in love with you.”

“Wanda I- you’re married,” you look back at Natasha only to find her staring at you.

She stands from her place on the couch, and closes the gap between the two of you.

“I have my own feelings for you Y/n,” Natasha is confident as she speaks.

Her assertion makes you turn red, “Y-you also?”

Natasha smiles sweetly, “Maybe not love just yet, but I could see myself falling for you.”

This situation was short-circuiting your brain, it felt like you were dreaming. This couldn’t be real. As you stood between the two woman it felt like less of a dream.

“I loved you before they sent you away,” you blurt out to your friend’s sister.

Once you start it’s like the words just pour out of your mouth, “You were way out of my league. You’re still out of my league, I mean does it get more taboo than falling for your best friend’s older sister. You’re just so easy to love, but I never thought I had a chance and then you came back with a wife; a very beautiful, very intelligent, ex-Russian spy of a wife, and I just knew I didn’t have a chance.”

“The chance is now. Admittedly, we don’t know how something like this works, but I think we can figure it out together,” Wanda levels with you.

“If you're interested,” Natasha adds on, leaving the ball in your court.

“It would’ve been nice if you guys had told me before I got a cut on my lip. I could’ve done the whole dramatic kiss to cut you off,” you tease them.

Wanda rolls her eyes, “If I could shove you and you wouldn’t fall over, I would.”

“You talk to every woman you’re in love with like that?”

Natasha chimes in, “You get used to it after awhile.”

You share a laugh and when it dies down Wanda speaks, “So we’re doing this?”

“I want to try, but I don’t want to ruin your marriage,” you speak honestly.

“You won’t,” Natasha declares with certainty.

“How do you know?”

She thinks for a moment, “The love Wanda and I have for each other is endless, I’ve never for a moment thought anything could break it up. We’re not changing the way we love each other, we’re just adding you into the already existing dynamic. Eventually it should end with the three of us loving each other endlessly. Does that make sense?”

You nod slowly, “It sounds perfect.”

Natasha places a kiss on your cheek like it’s second nature to her, “Good.”

Your ears heat at the contact and before you can respond Wanda places a light kiss at the corner of your lips.

The movement leaves you wanting more. Against better judgement you try to lean down and kiss her. You succeed in placing your lips against hers for a brief second but as you pull away you almost fall again.

Natasha is the one to steady you this time. She teases you, “Someone is eager?”

“My ankle doesn’t want me to be great.” you pout.

Natasha hesitates, but delicately she touches her lips to yours. It’s as quick as your attempt at kissing Wanda.

“Your ankle won’t stop us, bunny,” Wanda looks at you with shining eyes.

Your face heats at the nickname that’s only familiar to you in the woman’s native language. The women chuckle at the pigment of your skin.

“We’ll see who’s laughing when my lips don’t hurt and I can kiss you properly,” you try once again standing on your own.

“I’m looking forward to it,” Wanda lets her eyes fall to your lips.

You roll your eyes, “Stop teasing, and help me get ready for bed. This has simultaneously been one of the best and one of the most painful days of my life. Truly unforgettable.”

Natasha speaks first, “I’ll get some stuff ready for a shower.”

“I’ll help you to the bathroom,” Wanda finishes.

It’s an all too similar feeling as you find yourself perched on the bathroom counter with Wanda standing between your legs.

Her fingers play with the end of your shirt. She looks at you for permission and you give her a light nod.

Slowly as to not aggravate your injuries she takes your shirt off. She’s careful as she unwraps the bandages from your torso.

“You’ll need help in there,” she speaks softly as her eyes scan your body.

“I know,” the pain starts to catch up with you.

Leaning forward slightly you rest your head on her shoulder. She smells good and it calms your nerves.

Wanda can’t help herself as she speaks up, “Isn’t this a familiar scene?”

You raise your head off of her shoulder and smile, “It’s ringing a few bells.”

Natasha enters the restroom with some towels and pajamas, “I’m going to get some food going, if you guys are alright in here?”

Wanda nods, “I’ve got her, Nat.”

Natasha nods and proceeds to exit the bathroom, “Just holler if you need me.”

Wanda steps away from you to turn the shower on. She’s back in front of you in no time.

“How do you want to do this?”

You feel nerves as you speak, but you try to sound objective, “I think you should join me. Not because I want to see you, not that I don’t want to see you. Its just I can’t really stand and-”

She quiets you down by pulling her own shirt over her head. Her feet pad against the bathroom floor as she makes her way back over to you. Wanda’s hands place themselves on the top of your pants. Her movements are slow but sure as she begins to pull them down. She takes extra care when they're around your ankle.

Once they’re off she takes a step back swiftly removing her own pants. The only thing left on both of you is your underwear.

The sound of the shower rings heavily in your ears as you watch Wanda take her bra off. You can’t move even if you want to. Your eyes glance over her chest before following her hands path lower. She’s not teasing as she removes her panties.

Once again you find yourself with her standing between your legs, but this time there was significantly less fabric in the way. She reaches behind you back to place her hands on your bra clasp.

“Y/n, do you mind if-"

“Take it off,” you finish for her.

She does as you say, a shaky breath releases from her. Your bra falls off your shoulder, but you keep looking in her eyes. Her hand slides down from your back and her finger hooks around your underwear.

“Take it off,” you repeat in a hushed tone.

She follows your instructions. Her eyes snap back to yours. The two of you stare in silence. There’s an underlying tenderness to the moment.

Wanda’s hand reach for your waist, “Ready?”

You nod and she assists you off of the counter. The water hits your skin and you sigh. You enjoy the heat against your bruised skin. Wanda’s hands stay in place for a moment just keeping you steady.

It's a silent delicacy as Wanda soaps up a towel and begins to gently clean your skin. You marvel at the lightness of her touch.

She turns you around so you face her. You look down at her and can’t help but brush your nose against hers. You hear her breath hitch. Carefully you use your hand to guide her’s across your body.

Neither of you dwell as she cleans every inch of you intimately. You lean against the shower wall a bit so Wanda has room to wash herself. You take in the details of her body as she cleans herself.

She gets out first and then helps you put the pajamas laid out for you on before dressing herself.

“I love you,” you say it easily when everything is done.

Wanda places a kiss on your forehead, “I love you too.”

Wanda helps you to the kitchen table. Your eyes find Natasha moving about in the kitchen.

“Almost done, I know you’re tired lisichka. We can eat then get in the bed,” Natasha speaks to you.

“Thanks Natty,” you look at her with your hand on your chin.

“Did you re-wrap her torso detka?” Natasha asks her wife.

Wanda snaps her fingers, “I knew I forgot something.”

“Take over here, and I’ll do it?”

Wanda agrees to these terms. Natasha goes to fetch the medical wrap and quickly returns. You’re sitting down, so Natasha kneels to be level with your torso.

Carefully with tentative hands, she lifts up your shirt. Her hand finds the small of your back, to encourage you to sit straight. You follow her instructions.

“Tell me if it’s too tight, okay?”

You’re looking down into her eyes and you momentarily get lost in them. The hues of green draw you in like emeralds.

“Baby,” she says again a little more firm.

You snap out of it and nod, “I’ll tell you if it’s too tight.”

She brings the wrap around your torso multiple times, each time looking for any extensive discomfort in your expression.

When she’s done with your torso, she quickly does your ankle. Your ankle was more sensitive, so she made sure to be extra gentle.

“All set, lisichka,” the woman places a kiss on your forehead as she stands up.

“Food is ready,” Wanda announces bringing plates for the three of you to table.

At this point exhaustion was knocking at your door. You eat in comfortable silence and once you’re finished, they help you to bed.

When your head hits the pillow, you almost fall asleep instantly.

“If I didn’t want to kill him for what he did to my father, I’d kill him for this,” Wanda says to her wife.

“The men involved have been dealt with already,” Natasha relies to her Wanda.

“You work fast malyshka,” Wanda places her hands on Natasha’s hips.

Natasha looks at your sleeping figure, “I’d move at the speed of light for either of you.”

Natasha ends her statement by kissing Wanda.

“I love you,” Wanda pulls the woman closer to her.

Natasha smiles pecking the woman’s lips once more, “I love you too.”

The two of them climb into the bed, making sure to give you adequate space due to your injuries.

“Why does this already feel so natural?” Wanda questions.

Natasha answers instantly, “It’s just meant to be like this. This feels like the final piece to our little puzzle."

Wanda was more than content with that answer, closing her eyes, unable to fight rest.

Somewhat like before, but entirely different at the same time, the three women lay together.

Taglist: @natashaswife4125 @autorasexy @alexawynters @blkmxrvel @toouncreativeforausername @likemick @sgm616 @bstvst @dorabledewdroop @sapphic-simp4015 @natty-taffy @justarandomreaderxoxo @mmmmokdok @tarathia @bgwlsmahf25 @lezzylover @og-kxsh-420 @vanessashands @untoldreader @sxlfishbrokenheart @marvelgirlx @elle161989

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

is it wrong to read smut of underage characters when i'm an adult? i've been reading fanfiction since i was nine or ten and smut since i was in my early teens. when i turned eighteen, i decided that i shouldn't read smut of underage characters anymore because i knew it was wrong, but then i kept doing it and have continued to even though i'm now twenty. i feel a lot of guilt around doing it. i never read anything with prepubescent characters but i've found that i am definitely drawn to fanfiction about relationships between adult characters and characters aged 13–14—something that makes me feel especially sick with myself because i was that age when i was groomed by an adult in my life. i think i am attracted to the idea of being that age again and actually going all the way with someone my groomer's age and it makes me sick. when i look at actual underage teenagers i feel no sort of attraction—on the contrary, the thought of sexualizing a real person that age actually really upsets and disturbs me. so why do i continue to get off on sexualized fantasies reminiscent of my own abuse? at the end of the day, i can't help but worry that makes me similar to my abuser.

hi anon,

I want to start with your final point, because this is hugely important: there is a hundred thousand million miles of difference between someone sexually abusing a real living human child with feelings, and someone reading about sexual situations happening to made up fictional characters who have no real feelings or trauma because they don't exist. the first one is a terrible violation of power to exploit and harm a vulnerable person, and the latter has literally no harmful consequences except for you, the reader, feeling weird and yucky about it.

let me be so clear about this up front: if this is something that feels like it's upsetting enough that it's causing you distress, you should stop reading this stuff. simple as that. if it ain't good for you and you know that, you need to take a step back for your own sake.

now, having said that: I really firmly believe that people don't need to justify why they like reading about things. but what you're describing - being drawn to stories that mirror your own abuse - is incredibly common. when survivors of sexual violence seek out ways of recreating their own negative experiences, whether it's via porn and erotica or playing those things out in negotiated kink scenes, it's very often a case of recreating their traumatic experiences with a built-in escape hatch. it's impossible to go back in time and undo the things that were done to you, but it is possible to reclaim a sense of agency by exploring what happened on the survivor's own terms, knowing that they can stop, say no, and walk away whenever they want, unlike when the abuse actually happened. in other cases, it can be thrilling to see a situation that caused so much hurt in real life play out as consensual and joyful in fiction.

again, please drop this if it's something that's causing you stress and discomfort! but also know that what you're doing is not harming anyone except, potentially, yourself, and you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of. please take care and make the best decision for you.

[number1mingyustan]

-Cuffing Season-

Your Call

boyfriend!mingyu x fem!reader

Warnings: established relationship, cursing, explicit smut, mutual masturbation (m+f), virtual sex, size kink, fingering (f.)

Summary: Even a thousand miles away you still have the same effects on him

Word Count: 1.8k

_______________________________________________

(a/n: i'm baaaack!! im so sorry for going MIA I was busy with school and now that I'm on break I've had literally no motivation to write but I've got a few more drafts I'm working on so expect me to be more active!)

The hotel door swings open and Mingyu walks through it, hand already pulling at the navy blue tie draped around his neck.

He undoes it with one hand before dropping it onto the carpeted hotel floor. He lets out a sigh of pure exhaustion and leans his back against the wall as his briefcase meets the floor.

He’s been in meetings all day and tired can’t even describe what he’s feeling right now. He’s away from you in Tokyo on a business trip and he’s miserable. His days prior to this were light, a meeting here and there and a couple of conventions. But today?

Back-to-back meetings with potential investors and clients have worn him out. He hasn’t even gotten the chance to call you yet today.

For the two weeks, he’s called you at least three times and you’ve texted back and forth every day. Now it’s nearing 1am and he hasn’t spoken to you at all.

He strips himself down to his boxers and lays down on top of the bed. He scrambles for his phone and immediately dials your number.

You pick up on the first ring. “Gyu?”

“Hi baby,” He rasps.

"Was beginning to think you forgot about me," you pout.

"Never, I was just swamped. I knew it was gonna be a heavy day, but I had literally no time to myself. I just now got back to the hotel," he sighs.

"You work so hard babe," You say. "I'm proud of you, but take it easy."

He nods. "It'll only be this bad for the next few days. I think it'll be worth it though, seems like a lot of good can come out of this for the company."

You shift on the bed, making yourself more comfortable as you lie down. "That's good Gyu, I would hope so."

The call goes silent for a few moments. You can hear each other breathing lightly into the phone as you lay in comfortable silence.

"I really miss you," Mingyu says, finally breaking the silence.

"I know, I miss you too." You sigh. "I've been miserable without you. I'm so lonely here, we should've gotten like a cat or something."

Mingyu lets out a breathy chuckle. "Noted. It'll be the first thing I do when I come home next week."

"Ugh," You groan dramatically. "Don't remind me I have to wait a whole week to see you again."

You can practically hear him smiling into the phone. "A week can go by fast, don't worry. I'll be home in no time."

"Good," You smile. "Bed's cold without you here."

"Must be," He yawns.

"Yeah Gyu, I hate it. Need you here now," Your voice is just above a whisper.

"What are you wearing?" He asks.

"You want me to tell you or show you?" You ask.

"Fuck," he whispers. "Show me."

Before he can even finish his thought, his phone is already ringing with an incoming Facetime call. He presses on the green button and sees you adjusting the camera.

Your phone is leaning against something to hold it up and you're sitting crisis cross applesauce on the bed in front of him. "Hi Gyu."

"Hi pretty girl," He smirks.

He rises to his feet, holding his phone in hand as he makes his way over to the desk in his room. He sits down, angling the camera so you can see him.

"Really missed you today," You tell him.

"Missed you too," He licks his lips. "You wearing my shirt?"

You nod. "Yeah. Still smells like you and everything."

You pick up the phone, angling it down so he can see the black and white striped button-up you have on. It fits you big, coming down mid-thigh.

He rasps. "Looks good on you baby."

"It does, doesn't it?" You smirk. "Think it might look better off though, right?"

Suddenly Mingyu isn't sleepy anymore.

"Shit baby, don't do this to me. You know I'm going crazy cuz I can't touch you," He groans, tilting his head back.

"This is the next best thing, no?" You lick your lips, allowing your hand to undo the first button.

"Damn right, it is," He agrees, slipping his hand into his boxers. To no one's surprise, he's already sprouting a semi at the mere thought of having phone sex with you.

It was only a matter of time before this happened anyway. You and Mingyu would rarely go this long without being intimate with one another.

"You didn't seriously call me in nothing but your underwear and expect me not to want you Gyu," You breathe out.

"Didn't do it on purpose sweetheart," He grins.

You've already undone half the buttons of his shirt. He can see your bra peaking through the open material. His cock twitches in anticipation.

He watches like a hawk as you slide the shirt off your shoulders and let it fall off your body entirely. "Shit," he whispers.

You're kneeling in front of the camera in nothing but your bra and underwear. It's a matching lavender set that he bought you a while back.

His eyes are glued to his screen as he watches you. You play with your bra straps, sliding them off your shoulders slowly to expose your breasts to him. He lets out a low groan and feels his cock harden more in his boxers.

He's suddenly feeling suffocated by the material on his hips. He sits up, sliding his underwear off and exposing his leaking cock. He lets out a breath of relief as he wraps his hand around his length.

He swipes his thumb across the tip, using the bit of precum to lubricate his cock. He licks his lips slowly, watching you as you slide your soaked underwear off your body.

"You're so big," you whisper. You're practically drooling at the sight of his cock.

He spits on his hand and starts pumping himself slowly. "Touch yourself f'r me."

You sit back on the bed and slide your hand down between your thighs. He watches as you spread your legs, revealing just how soaked you were for him.

You let out a shaky breath as your finger circles your clit.

"Need you so bad Gyu," You whine.

'i'm here baby-fuck," he groans.

He pumps his length faster, gliding his hand along his hard cock as he watches you touch yourself. He strokes himself, swiping his hand across the sensitive tip every time he pumps himself.

"Inside me.. need you inside me," You whimper. You slip two fingers into yourself slowly. You spread your legs wider to give him a better look. You push your fingers deeper, curling your digits against your inner walls.

"Soon baby, 'm all yours." He breathes out.

"You're so big Gyu, want you to fuck me so bad-ah," You pump your fingers deeper inside of yourself, desperately trying to coax yourself toward an orgasm.

"F-fuck y/n... keep talking," He drops his head back and groans. His muscles are bulging and his grip on his cock is tightening. "Missed your voice."

Even through the low quality of your phone camera, Mingyu was still in awe of you. His eyes were hyperfixated on the way your fingers disappear deep inside of you. His hips jerk up into his fist, warm blood pumping through his veins and making his limbs grow hot with arousal.

You lean back, fingers tightening around his bedsheets clumped in your hand as you push your hips into your hand. "Hah- my fingers are hardly big enough. Need your cock baby–" You whine.

You curl your fingers the same way he does when he touches you, pressing your fingertips against your inner walls. The sensation has your toes curling with a familiar feeling building up inside of you.

His dick twitches in his hand. Fuck, he's so reactive when it comes to you. No one can make him feel the way you do. He lets out a low groan, squeezing the head of his cock to stop himself from cumming when he hears you.

You continue pushing your hips into your hand with erratic movements. You look at your screen, watching your boyfriend strokes his cock. You watch the way his large hand glide along the length of his cock.

"Gyu–fuck, I'm cumming," You warn him.

Mingyu stops holding back the second the words pass your lips. He speeds up his hand, loosening his grip every so slightly. You cum together, bodies shuddering with sloppy movements as you drive yourselves into a state of euphoric pleasure.

He fights to keep his eyes open. They remain half lidded as he refuses to rip his eyes way from the scene before him. He's fixaed on the way your fingers dip into your pussy, coating them with more of your slick arousal as your body spasms and jerks.

He can feel the way his load spills all over his hand and onto his lower abs, but he can't take his eyes off of you. He missed being able to see you fall apart. It's one of his favorite views. Even a thousand miles away, he was still going to see it for himself.

Your chest rises and falls rapidly as you come down. You draw your slick fingers out of your hole slowly, licking your lips as you tap back into all of your senses.

He blinks slowly as he comes down from his high. He grabs a tissue from the desk, cleaning up the mess on his skin. He discards it and slouches against the chair.

"Can't believe we just did that," He lets out a breathy chuckle.

"Thought it would've happened sooner. Been expecting it since your first night away," You smirk.

Mingyu yawns and decides to call it a night. He grabs his phone, plugging it into the charger and pulling his boxers back up onto his waist.

"Sleepy?" You ask.

"Exhausted," He turns off the lights and climbs under the hotel bedsheets. "I feel a lot better though."

"Good," You say.

You mirror his actions, redressing yourself, turning off the lights, and plugging your phone into the charger before climbing under the bedsheets. You're yawning too, snuggling in the sheets with your boyfriend on the phone.

The call goes quiet and it doesn't take long before both of you are fast asleep.

Mingyu can't wait to go back home and sleep next to you properly. For now, FaceTime calls will have to do. But once he can have you in his arms again, his home will feel complete again.

——————————————————————————

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[sunkissedscribbles]

Only Thing That Keeps Us Apart...

pairing: theodore nott x borderline!fem!reader

genre: angst

tw: mental illness, SA, suicide

word count: 1735

summary: theo has to leave you on his father's will

a/n: @inksoakedparchment i hope this is what you wanted<3

playlist: IF NOT FOR YOU – Måneskin / TIMEZONE - Måneskin / THE LONELIEST – Måneskin

masterlist

dividers by @chachachannah

You miss him. How could you not? He was your best friend, your saviour, your boyfriend. The man you were supposed to end up with; marry and have children with. How did you two end up like this? – You’re wearing the old clothes he left at your place before he simply disappeared and erased himself from your life. He left – without any explanation, a note, or any clue about where he was going.

As if he were dead.

As if your love didn’t mean anything.

Your flat is cold and empty without the sound of his stupid whistling while doing the simplest of things like chores, him arguing with the old cooker in Italian when it won’t work properly, without his bright personality he’d only let you see, or the bickering over meaningless things like what film to watch – what film to get bored of in the middle and have a better idea on what to do instead, rather.

Now that he left your life like that everything seems so dull and boring, so dark, so pallid and achromatic. Life seems to have slowed down and the once clear sky you have seen daily during Theo is grey and so overly clouded that the sun won’t shine through the thick layer.

Sometimes you feel like he was just a game of your imagination, like it has completely fooled you. But how could he have been fake? It was so real, too real, even. If you really try you can still recall even the littlest of touches, like him brushing his nose against yours in the morning to stir you awake or the way he held you against his body to reassure you you’ll be together, forever.

What a bullshitter.

There'll be no summer There'll be no spring If not for this love of mine Thornes without flowers Bars with no drinks If not for this love of mine

All the lights All the parties would just fade out Shut them down

He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t have a choice. He had thought after Voldemort’s defeat things would be different; lighter, easier, and that he’d have a sharper vision of your future together.

Was he naive?

Why on earth had he even thought his father would get sent to Azkaban if he survived the war? Why did he think he’d get a chance to start over, with you?

He had plans, just like you.

Italy – it was his plan. He wanted to take you there, take you home with him, all the while he would have told you about his mother who he lost as a kid. He would’ve shown you all the best places and the best food, and he knew exactly where he wanted to propose to you. Hell, had he bought the ring before he got the call… The plane tickets were purchased, and his place in Italy was all set for the two of your arrival.

And all his plans now are going down the drain because of the family business.

He memorised your landline number – he remembers every time he walks past a phone booth, but he knows he has to stay sensible and responsible. He wants to tell you he’s losing his mind without you, he wants to run away from his father and the literal mafia he’s the leader of but that would only put you in danger. And that’s the last thing he wants.

But what if…

Now I know you're sleepin' Where I'm supposed to be in Wish I could've stayed Only thing that keeps us apart Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning I'm coming home Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone

You’re trying to move on – but how could you if these memories of you during Theo just won’t leave your mind?

That one time he was walking down the hallway at your place when he suddenly stopped by the bathroom. It was a thing you two used to do – leaving the door open so that you could still talk whenever either of you was in the bathroom.

“Is that blood?” he stared at you half-sitting, half-lying in the bathtub with one leg on the edge of it, a razor in your hand. His face went completely white as he thought you were hurting yourself on purpose, until he noticed the razor.

“...No?” you raised an eyebrow until you saw the red liquid along your shin. “Oh, shit, it is,” you laughed it off with a shrug. You shouldn’t have – he quickly sat down on the edge of the tub and held you an infinitely long lecture about how not to cut yourself with a razor while tending to the little wound. Little did he care that you had another leg to be done that evening.

Or the memory of your first kiss? All he said was ‘woah’ but you understood him perfectly. No wonder he went in for another to devour you.

But there was the time he tried to braid your hair. He had no idea what he was doing, and your explanation of it with your hands and sentences like ‘this over that and the other that over this’ didn’t help the slightest.

But it hadn’t always been happy all the time, either – there was a reason for him to be scared you were self-harming that night in the bathtub as you had a tendency for depressive episodes.

Before Theo, you had no idea what to do with your life – you had been down so bad you didn’t see the light anymore and your episodes were starting to get to your head – you couldn’t handle them properly and you felt like you could never get your life back from the hand of an external force. So when he found you in the Astronomy Tower with fresh cuts he wouldn’t have left you alone. You had many arguments because of this, because of your BPD.

His presence irritated you at first – he was like a lost puppy, running after you–

"Let's put that down, principessa," he stared into your eyes as he reached for the blade in your fist. There was something about his eyes, about those blue irises that were so effective of getting anything he wanted out of you, and that gaze that seemed to be staring right into your soul.

–but you got used to it after a few weeks and warmed up enough to open up to him. It hasn't been difficult to talk about your mental illness anymore, not like this, that he knew what the worst he could expect from you was. Because he showed you that he really did care about your well-being. And because he loved you, even at your worst.

Yes, he did fall in love with your worst and as time went on and your relationship progressed your mental health only improved during Theo.

You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

He fell for you. It took him some time to give in to his heart, and for you to accept that you're loveable but you did it. You both did.

He's counting the hours, the time difference – he has been since he had to go, and he can't stop thinking about you. He was a player before you, a man as well as a kid during you – but who is he now? He can't find the answers to his current existential crisis. You probably think he's dead. And you think that perfectly. His life has lost its meaning without you, no colour, no more Nirvana, no Billy Jean, no dancin' if you're not part of his life anymore.

'How could I wake up How could I sleep How could I be someone?'

So, what if...

Tomorrow, I got another plane, I'm not gonna take it Mm, instead, I'm gonna fly straight to you, I paid double for the tickets And I don't give a shit about the contracts that I signed And they can say whatever, we'll be making love, I'm fucking you tonight

Your flat is cold and empty – it's his first remark. He walks farther in, calling out for you, "Y/N? Tesoro, I'm home!" and he's waiting for the moment you run out of the bedroom or from the kitchen to greet him with a fist to his nose for leaving you and kiss him senseless right after.

He walks into the bedroom – no sign of you.

Then into the kitchen.

Where the hell are you?

He spots you in the bathtub, fully dressed. "Y/N! I've been calling for you for minutes, honey. What are you–?" he takes in your pale complexion as he walks closer to you.

Closer to your cold and lifeless body.

The realization hits him like a dozen rocks

"No, no, no," he crouches down next to you, seeing the clear and sharp cuts. "Fuck! Please wake up, please wake up! Y/N, this is not funny. Stop this... Please, baby..." he lets out a ragged breath, trying to collect himself. He lifts your hand to check your pulse.

And just waits,

and waits.

He can't let you go. "Had I not told you to be careful with the razor?" he cries out. You couldn't have died, right? You must be hearing him, must be playing a very sick game with him. No, no, you're alive. You're alive... right? He starts tending to your wounds but deep down he knows there's no point in doing so. You're not gonna wake up. He can't look at your face, he's not strong enough as he knows there won't be a smile on it. The smile he loves so much.

The smile he loved so much.

You were lost and afraid before Theo. You were happy and stable during him. But there's no after Theo. There never will be. Not for you. And you’ve known it all along.

You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

tag list: @inksoakedparchment @mqstermindswift @reys-letters @girllblogging777 @yelanare

[mirensiart]

Hi, miry! I hope you're doing well. :) Anon comment, because I'm shy lol.

I know a lot of people are saying it, but I just have to add mine to the mix: I absolutely LOVE your pain-sharing AU. The amount of whump potential it has, the amount of fun you can have with it, and the lighter moments you can explore within it are insane, lol.

For the people in the back: PAIN-sharing au, NOT wound sharing.

Also, just wanted to let you know that it's always a joy seeing your art on my feed. I love your art style and the detail you put in every single one of your drawings. I could literally spot your art style from a mile away, it's so distinct (imo). I find myself coming back to it again and again.

Question, which you don't have to answer if you don't want to: I've seen some people headcanon that teleporting in botw/totk is an uncomfortable or even painful experience, because of the whole disintegrating into strings and putting Wild back together thing. What are your thoughts on that? Personally, I'm not sure yet. I think it might be a little bit like Twilight, where he's used to the pain of transforming into a wolf.

Keep up the amazing work!

Aaah hey anon! 🥹💖

And I'm seriously so glad people liked it, cause it was rotating in my brain for a while and I needed to transfer my brainrot to others hehe even if it means I get asked about the wound sharing a thousand times 🙈 I'm still so thankful over the reception it's gotten! All of you are great, 100000/10 fandom!

And AAAAH 🥹💖 you're so sweet, seriously!! I struggled with my art for so long, it really makes my day whenever people tell me they like it and think it's unique 🥹💖 it inspires me to keep going!!!

And oooh, yes! Good question!

I feel that wild's slate teleportation thing would be more uncomfortable and confusing than painful? Like that's kinda my headcanon at least 🤔 like it makes them nauseous and it's disorienting, but I wouldn't particularly see it as painful (cause like, rip wild if it is cause I used it SO MUCH in botw/totk lmao)

I feel like twilight would be familiar with the feeling since midna's twili transportation thing also disintegrates him into small particles lol like twilight would vibe with using the slate thing the most of the links (not counting wild, obviously)

Though I can see them getting to wind's hyrule and transport via cyclones and then suddenly, wild's slate isn't as bad anymore lmao

[scatterbrainedart]

I know I've literally talked about this before already but I need to do it again more in depth because I'm deeply ill. Anyhow.

Crowley was there at the creation of the universe. He was there as nebulae sprung into existence and time came to be. He slipped the switch of existence itself. And upon hearing how it all would shut down in just a few thousand years he was really upset. Because the universe was precious to him, and he wanted to see it flourish to its full potential.

Even then, Crowley wanted to fight for its right to exist. To be. He cared about the world to point of falling. He spent 6000 years on Earth, learning about and cherishing all it had to offer. The world is morally gray by default, and it's the only place in Crowley's existence that is. Therefore, it suits him, I think. Much more than either heaven or hell ever have or will, at least.

But, in the end of season 1, all of that was about to be lost. And what got him to act in order to salvage it? Aziraphale threatening to never talk to him ever again.

Let me say this again. The world was ending. The thing he cared enough about to had fallen for was all about to be destroyed forever. But the worst thing to Crowley in that moment, the highest stake and the worst possible loss, was the loss of Aziraphale's companionship. Not even "we will all die or stop existing and therefore won't be able to see each other anymore" but "I will just refuse to talk to you for the rest of time". That was the threat. And it worked. It raised the stakes. Stakes that were already about as high as they come, and quite awfully personal.

Crowley care more about Aziraphale than he cares about anything else. And Aziraphale knows that, otherwise he wouldn't have trusted that the threat would work. But he did. And it did.

Crowley is also desperately lonely. Just inherently so, in his very existence. There is no one else like him, in the way he's so gray in a world so black and white. I literally have a whole other post planned for that rant though, so I'll spare you it for now. But yeah, I'd imagine he has felt like the loneliest being in existence for the fast majority of it. His loneliness comes across a LOT, but it's most apparent in those moments of desperation. Where he is risking losing that one connection he managed to make. Like a last ditch effort kiss, harsh and unpleasant. It hurts to have it taken away, on such a deep level. Just like there is no one like Crowley, there is no one like Aziraphale. At least not to Crowley, not by a mile.

Crowley's desperation to keep Aziraphale in his life is not only because of his love for him, but also because of how if it's not Aziraphale, it's no one. And just like that scene where Aziraphale eats food for the first time and reacts as if he's just realized he's been starving his entire life, Crowley now knows what it's like to have someone by your side. To be a team, a pair. And he clings to that like the famished cling to their first and last warm meal.

[lovedrruunk]

'Mango Letters ♡⸝⸝💌⊹˖➴

Venture (Overwatch) x GN Reader

[Established Relationship!]

Authors note!!!; DID U MISS MEEE??? also...IM SO SORRYYY!!!! BUT I THINK IM JUST GONNA START WRITING WHAT I WANT :((( i realized im sososo bad with requests like genuinely ughhhh!! Ill def do some every now and then tho! Anyways im just clearing out my drafts cuz I’ve come to the realization that this is literally tumblr and my posts don’t have to be perfect lmao, enjoy!!

75 days 18 hours 46 minutes and 3 seconds. That's how long it had been since you've seen your partner Sloan. Being with them you knew how devoted they were to their work and how much it required them to travel but on pretty days like this one when the weathers just right and the flowers are in full bloom and the sunset is the perfect hue of orange, you couldn't help but wish they were by your side.

And although they were thousands of miles away they always made sure to send you physical manifestations of their love.

Through love letters of course!!!

It had been a tradition ever since they had started going on longer expeditions for them to send you things in the mail. So there in your shared closet in a cute little shoebox on the top shelf, laid all their feelings on coffee stained papers. Little crystals the same color as your eyes, maps with all the places they wanted to take you, polaroids of them doing silly faces, and your favorite part, the sweet scent of mango that came with it all.

And so although they weren't by your side, their feelings were. Their longing, their excitement, their thoughts, all in the palm of your hands covered in all types stickers and doodles.

Sitting outside on the porch of your shared home enjoying the calm breeze you smile holding the most recent letter delivered. Inhaling deeply catching the hints of mango as you carefully open it.

Dear Beloved,

It's been so looong!!! I can feel myself aging without you! Hope this letter finds you well! Notice how I used "beloved"? Fancy huh? Arn't I just the most romantic partner ever? (don't answer that.) This is my fifth time trying to write this and it's annoying the crew so this is my last chance before they jump me... It's just so hard y'know!? It has to be perfect. Perfect for you. Is that cringe? That was cringe sorry! I miss you lots and I think about you all the time... You'd love Petra! A camel ate my shemagh... but It's whatever. I'll buy a new one tomorrow, I'll get one for you too so don't worry! Now that I'm thinking about it the days seem to be going by pretty slow and I'm not sure if I like it much. Like I said I miss you a lot and it stinks being away from you for this long. Can't you just book a flight over here? Can't you do that for me pretty pleaseee? That's ridiculous? Okay just say you hate me and never want me to come back, just say you don't love me at all and want me to get stuck in a cave foreva. Just kidding! or am I?... (I am! >ᴗ<)

I like to imagine you’re missing me really bad counting down the seconds till I get back, which by the way I am too so don’t feel the need to deny it! I can see it now… You all shriveled up like a raisin crawling on the floor going “sloannn… sloannnn…” because of how bad you miss me hehe. Just kidding again! It’s probably the opposite let’s be real… I’m going insane without you seriously, I started talking to the hieroglyphics yesterday and the crew even caught me tasting some rocks earlier (sos!!!!)

But speaking of, they’re rushing me to “turn the lights off already” what a bunch of buzzkills ammarite? Promise to show up in my dreams okay? Who am I kidding, you’re always there regardless. Sweet dreams ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

p.s they really wanna meet you!

p.p.s take care okay? I’ll be home before you know it!!!

Yours truly,

(so romantic!!!)

“(๑´>᎑<)~*”

[kissorkill16]

He's Not Fine: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: At least some people know when their friend's not fine.

As Trinity ran, the three boys were left standing on the sidewalk, silence in the air.

"Guys.", said Enzo, "I think we should make one more stop."

Delroy turned to look at him and put a hand on his shoulder, "Smartest thing I've heard all day."

They walked all the way back to Friendly Court and to the front yard of Mr. Peterson's house. They waited for a moment, feeling hesitant, but Enzo soon walked in and into the house.

Ivan and Delroy just stood there.

"I told myself I didn't want to go back in there.", said Ivan. "We almost died in there."

"Yeah, and I said I wanted nothing to do with any weird shit in this town.", said Delroy, "But those freaks killed my dog, and Trinity locked her own friend in a psychopath's house. So what other choice do we have?"

Ivan looked back at Delroy, a little surprised. "I didn't realize you cared about Nicky."

Delroy scoffed, rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I don't.", he said, there was a pause, he looked at the ground. "But I don't want him to rot in this hellhole either, I'm not a monster."

Before Ivan could say more, Delroy pulled him by the strap on his suspender, "Now come on."

As they made their way into the house, they walked through the hall and saw that Enzo was in the living room.

"Is that the basement?", asked Delroy. Enzo nodded, "Yeah.", he said. "Nicky, you in here?"

"We're having so much fun.~"

The sound of Nicky's voice came from the basement, sending chills up their spines. Why did he sound so...happy?

"Nicky, it's me. Enzo.", said Enzo.

No answer.

Enzo tried pulling open the door, but it wouldn't budge. "Maldita sea!", he cursed.

Ivan gasped, sounding offended. "Enzo, language!"

"Not the time!"

Delroy spotted a crow bar in the corner of the hallway he stood in, and he picked it up and gave it to Enzo. "Use this."

Enzo happily took the crow bar and jammed it into the door. After a few pushes, the door opened, and there Nicky was. Sitting in the corner, a complete mess, hugging his knees.

"I love you guys so much.", he said, "You guys are the best."

Ivan, Delroy and Enzo looked at each other, confused. "Who's he talking to?", asked Enzo.

"No idea.", said Ivan, he walked into the basement and put his hands on Nicky's head. "But hey, we got Nicky. Let's go now."

"Go?", asked Nicky, he scooted away from Ivan, wiping his hair. "No. Don't go. Don't go. I don't want to."

Delroy looked at him, completely confused. "You don't want to? Dude, you were literally telling us not to continue with this investigation, you were literally the only sensible one in the group, now you're just..."

He didn't know how else to explain it.

"You've completely lost it.", he said. He rolled his eyes again, "He's fine.", he said in a high pitched voice. "Trinity's a fucking liar."

Nicky suddenly snapped his head up. "Trinity?"

Enzo nodded, "Yeah. Trinity.", he said. "You guys came in here together a few times and somehow made it out alive."

Suddenly, Nicky started crying. He buried his face in his hands.

"You promised!", he said, "You promised! You promised, Trinity! You said you'd be back! Where are you?!"

Everyone jerked back at his sudden outburst.

Enzo gently put his hands on Nicky's shoulders, trying to comfort his friend. "Okay, no one mention Trinity within a thousand mile radius. Okay?"

Ivan and Delroy nodded.

Enzo helped Nicky stand up as he wrapped his arms around him, letting him bury his face in his shoulder. "Let's go to my house."

As soon as they reached the Esposito house, Enzo immediately grabbed the First Aid kit from his parents room.

"Nicky, try to stay still. I'm gonna glaze your scratches and afterwards, I'll let you take a bath. Okay?"

Nicky nodded, still seemingly out of it.

Enzo took out some disinfectant pads and gently patted the scratches on Nicky's quivering body, Ivan and Delroy just watched as he did so.

"I never realized how bad it was until now.", said Ivan, "He was acting crazy in the basement, but this looks crazier. It's like he doesn't even recognize us."

"And he's talking to someone that isn't us.", said Delroy.

"Yeah, good point.", said Enzo. "Nicky, why did you want to stay in the basement? Who were you talking to?"

"Lucy and Mya."

They all looked at Nicky, completely shocked...and a little scared.

"Lucy and Mya?", asked Delroy, "As in the two dead girls, Lucy and Mya?"

Nicky nodded.

"It's official.", said Delroy. "He's gone completely insane."

"Delroy!", said Enzo. He sighed and continued to clean Nicky's wounds. "Look, Nicky, we'll talk more later. Right now, we just want to focus on you."

Nicky didn't answer, he just stared off into the distance as his friends cared for him...

Something he couldn't remember the last time someone had done that for him.

[wenclairfamily]

Travel Blog: Visiting the Hometown of Addams Family Creator: Charles Addams

I first arrived in Westfield, New Jersey on a cloudy day; with a 2/3 chance of rain happening that day. So basically it was gloomy outside with a 66.6% chance of rain... clearly the kind of ironic situation Charles Addams would have approved of. The first thing I wanted to do upon arriving in the hometown of the famous Addams Family creator: was to see his childhood home. But as one can see in the above left picture... there is nothing creepy or cooky about Charles Addams' childhood home (which still stands to this day). It's just a normal average looking old home. So not wanting to seem inappropriately creepy to the current property owners, I decided to take a walk down Elm Street: which is the street Charles Addams spent most of his childhood on.

As I walked down the century old road, it was fascinating to see a mix of the past and present together. Recently built new homes sit right near seemingly ancient houses build over a century ago. Even the sidewalk felt like jumping back and forth in time. Some parts of the sidewalk felt recently paved, but other parts felt like cement that was installed a few decades ago... while other parts of the sidewalk felt like old blocks of stone from over a hundred years ago. I would like to imagine that many of the old blocks of stone I walked on were the same blocks of stone Charles Addams walked across thousands of times.

And thousands of times is not an exaggeration. Charles Addams' elementary school and high school he attended were on the same street as his house (and both still stand today). The two schools were even on the same side of the street as his house. They were also so close, that if you stood on the sidewalk in front of Charles Addams' childhood home: you could watch someone taking the full journey to either the elementary school at the end of street, or the high school that was halfway down the other end of the street.

Despite Charles Addams' walk to school every day being literally less than a mile, I decided to walk down this street thinking not like an adult... but like a young child. I can easily imagine with his elementary school being so close by (and within eyesight), that Charles Addams' mother let her boy walk to school all alone from an early age. However... being a small child, walking by even just a handful of houses alone can be quite intimidating. As I walked down Elm Street, I looked at all of the old homes still standing. I began to imagine what a young child would think of these old creepy looking homes as they passed by them day after day. Eventually... one's imagination would have to begin to wonder what kind of crazy families would live in creepy and cooky looking homes like these...

However a boy in the days before television and computers couldn't just go to school and stay at home all day. So I began to explore any areas young Charles Addams would have likely explored while growing up. Like any child, I'm sure he went to the stores and movie theater down town. But I didn't want to go to those obvious places. I wanted to search for the little hideaways that only a child would go to; a hidden place away from the eyes of their parents and most adults. As I walked down Elm Street, I looked at the large grass field across from the old local high school. Obviously after school, many kids must have hung out there and played games... but playing games with other kids on a grass field doesn't feel like something the creator of the Addams Family would do. There was also a nice lake two blocks away down another nearby street... but most kids don't care for lovely walks around lakes, and Charles Addams' mother may have even asked him to stay on Elm Street while still young. Then... I saw just beyond the old high school field, was a parking lot. I walked towards the old parking lot, and saw in a corner of the parking lot was an old fence. If I was a bored young boy, seeing an old fence would definitely make me want to see what was on the other side. So, that's what I did..

...and suddenly so many things made sense. A cemetery! In a day and age with no television or internet, and in an old town with no playgrounds at the nearest parks; the only thing one imaginative boy could do would be to either play games on the grass with other kids... or wander around the local cemetery while beginning to dream up ideas of what kind of strange people could perhaps live in those creepy and cooky homes down the street. Doing this on a regular basis would certainly warp a child's mind... and suddenly, the origins of the Addams Family made so much sense to me.

I soon after walked into the busier area of town. Despite the handful of dangerous crosswalks that lacked crossing signals, I was so happy to discover a treasure trove of fan art hanging officially in town. This is clearly a town that loves the Addams Family!

My time walking through Westfield, New Jersey made me realize that it was clear as day... this is the town Charles Addams always imagined the Addams Family living in. The details may be a bit different... but the cemetery I walked through is clearly the cemetery Charles Addams imagined Wednesday spending many afternoons in as a child. The creepy homes along the sidewalk clearly make the kind of atmosphere Gomez and Morticia would love. Even the dangerous crosswalks I forgot to photograph... all members of the Addams Family would have obviously found much joy in the danger present there.

Now if you come to Westfield, New Jersey looking for the Addams Family house, you won't find it. There's nothing creepy looking about Charles Addams' childhood home, and none of the houses in town look specifically just like the Addams Family mansion that we all know. One house in town supposedly gets a lot of the credit (the picture to the left above)... but I honestly don't see it when I look at many of Charles Addams' actual drawings. If anything, I actually found an old house miles outside of Westfield that actually did look like very close to the Addams Family mansion (see the middle picture above). However the Addams Family home is clearly a composite of the many creepy homes that can be found on the famous Elm Street.

Overall, my experience in Westfield, New Jersey was very enlightening. It's very clear to me now that the Addams Family characters themselves were clearly inspired by the mind of a young boy who took his darkest imaginings related to the creepiest things on his childhood street... and rather than be disturbed by these dark imaginings, instead transformed them into something fun... and we will be forever grateful for that!

[1zashreena1]

Real life shit underneath

I am afraid.

I am fearful of so many things right now.

My parents' health is failing at a slowly but ever more increasing rate and I am literally a thousand miles away. I had a not so great relationship with my mother growing up, but ever since she went thru menopause we've been on the mend. But because I'm the youngest child and they were older than was typical when they had me, I have less time with them to begin with. I fear that something drastic will happen with the limited time of good standing I have with my parents and I won't physically see them again before they die.

In order to move closer to them I am trying to get my partner a job at my employer, where there are still fully remote positions. Partner's current job requires in office and is only located here in Florida, Texas, and Georgia. Obviously I'm not moving from 1 dumpster fire to another, so partner jumping ship from his job is really the only option. However, I have heard nothing from my HR dept and there's not much else I can do about it.

I worry myself into being so nauseous that I can't even eat over the imminent political future here in the US. I have fought my entire life to be a person with human rights under the law (and I do mean my whole life, I've been politically active since like age 12, and no my parents did not usher me into this as they do not share many of my beliefs) and I'm tired. I'm just so tired. After being in healthcare thru covid, I'm just. Exhausted. I fear that I will lose access to hormonal birth control that I need for my incredibly severe pmdd, and then lose the right to work, to own property and assets, to lose ownership of myself entirely. That level of all-encompassing fear will eat you alive from the inside out.

My other furbaby is sick with something respiratory and, just like with Allover, I can't turn off the mental terror. Kimi is not in acute distress, but I'm scared to go to sleep because what if something happens and I don't wake up. If I can't help her and she dies. I don't think I could live with myself.

I'm starting to feel like all I am is just an ever shrinking ball of angst.

Pet tax pic as a thank you for reading this mess:

My babydoll Kimi

[starryjkoo]

https://www.tumblr.com/starryjkoo/764086905378881536/httpswwwtumblrcomstarryjkoo76407096882620006?source=share

I'm just reading this now since i was inactive (going again) so I'm replying now (not saying you were waiting for my reply but I'm the same anon who's ask this was 😅)

I don't really have anything to add other than I agree with everything you said there. i know all those accounts you're talking about, i even know the "random taekook" account you said there without u mentioning their @ because guess what? been there done that kinda..i saw that tkkr saying all those "Just because i follow TK biased doesn't mean I'm tkkr" this that bs when 99% tweets are about TK and them following all sort of tkkrs ones that drag jm too lol. and their little ot7 followers backing up them..idk who they're trying to fool as if we can't smell a trash from miles away 😭

being honest u don't need to be chronically online to see what is the shit that's going on in Fandom or How it's filled with Tkkrs. a newly entered fan can tell it's full of Tkkrs so idk what pleasure others get by Lying saying TK are most hated in Fandom (just Today i saw those tweets with thousands of likes).

What pisses me off tho is ot7 jkkrs acting like many of the armys don't hate jm deep down. saying "They're hating on jm so they're not army" is such a bs thing to say and literally big jkk blogs here say that but ask them why they generalize solos because there's good solos too who just support one member in peace without dragging anyone but nope for them "If you stan only one member then you're an anti" like who gets to decide that? You? and who are you? their logic is just as useless as kpopies to me. You're the only jkkr who even talked about all the things happening with jm others are too ot7s to even address those things. Them saying that Fandom majorly doesn't dislike jm because of TK as a ship is funny because the same Fandom was seen begging Tkkrs for help when taehyung and Jennie's video was leaked but sure.

Hope the deserved people gets their karma back is all i can hope for now because i know for a fact that things are going to get worse in future Especially with what's going on with hybe and tkkrs loser ass Linking all of that to "jm is company's fav and they force Jkk" shit.

hi anon! no I’m happy to hear from you again, it makes me feel more sane to see people with the same opinions on some of this lol 😭

Yeah, that one account who just makes corny tkk shipping jokes and is very clearly an actual tkkr but you had half of ARMYtwt coming to their defense because they were all part of the same clique and most of them are “tk-biased”. They were laughing saying that using a duo name doesn’t mean you’re a shipper but when people were pulling up screenshots of them literally reading AUs they would just deflect lmao 😭 It’s just embarrassing.

And yeah I saw that too, a big and popular account talking about tkk being the most hated 🥴 just the audacity to say that, as if we don’t all have eyes and see the absurd amount of followers and engagement tkk accounts have on EVERY platform. And I could write a thesis on the absolute obsession ARMYs have w/ a tk-subunit just proving how deeply enmeshed the tkk shipping bias is in this fandom. And talking about the fandom hating a duo, I could write another thesis on how ARMYs are insanely weird towards Jikook, like damn AYS just drove that home for me.

Yeah, the hardcore OT7 jkkrs who deny that the fandom treats Jimin weirdly are just bizarre to me. Literally right now there’s discourse going on about US streams and you can find multiple hit tweets where they are straight up shading and attacking Jikook up and down in the comments, especially JM (they’re for sure getting nastier towards JK about this but some of them can at least concede that he has GP/popularity, but for some reason the bulk of ARMYs think that w/ JM it must be favoritism bc in their minds they decided that tkk were miles ahead of him in popularity despite his solo music ALWAYS performing the best or second best in the group). Like throw a dart at a board and you can find a random reason that ARMYs resent JM, whether it be over associating him with his solos the most (literally HYBE saw and marked this as a problem??) to just the fact that ARMYs are literally full of tkkrs who ALWAYS resent him on some level. Bizarre for jkkrs of ALL people to try and deny this as hard as some of them do? (and like I said I’m not saying JM is the only member who gets weird treatment from ARMYs sometimes, but he for sure gets it the most by virtue of tkkrs being as big as they are if nothing else. There are still tons of ARMYs who love him tho obviously).

And 100% on some jkkrs/ARMYs trying to say that people who hate JM aren’t ARMY to wash their hands of the issue. It’s literally not true because half the people shading him consider themselves ARMYs, a lot of tkkrs consider themselves ARMYs, ARMYs literally make up the following and likes of toxic tkk accounts, so what are they even talking about? That attitude is literally why it got so bad and we are where we are. Like just say you don’t care about Jimin and go I guess.

It's like we can be fandom critical and still care about/be a part of the fandom, this is the way it's been for me and literally any community I’ve ever been a part of? If you care about something you want to make it better which means looking inward and trying to identify and fix the problems. I get there’s a fine line between being critical and “victimizing” and “solo narratives” and “manti narratives” but c’mon, we can use critical thinking to differentiate, yeah? Because not every fandom/company complaint makes you a “solo” or “manti”. Just insane to me.

There’s so many issues with hardcore OT7 logic that we could get into tbh, but you’re right in that there’s nothing wrong with liking only one or two members as long as you’re not hating on the others. And tbh there’s nothing wrong with not liking and supporting all of them equally when isn’t it just normal to have preferences and to stream the music you enjoy the most? And just a note, the funny thing is that a good chunk of ARMYs who complain about this ARE pretty heavily biased, they just don’t want to admit it, even to themselves. And that’s one of the reasons diet-solos emerge and are so prevalent in the fandom right now.

I think the karma is definitely the fandom falling apart at the seams right now (even though sadly good people are getting punished for it). It’s toxic as hell in ARMY spaces, good ARMYs have left in droves, our charting is not great for non-Jikook (part of this I just blame on HYBE and their bad strategy of relying wholly on the fandom, or maybe it’s some of the members strategy tbf, but whoever decided, it wasn’t a good idea). I mean, I guess we’ll see what happens when BTS return, maybe more people will return and things will improve/stabilize somewhat but I also don’t think there’s really ever going back to how things were in the fandom either. Plus BTS are going to focus on group work for a minute, but it’s never going to be the same rate as pre-CH2, the solo careers are here to stay and we have no idea what the actual balance of solo/group/subunit work will be yet. I guess we’ll see but at least we know the karma is that JM antis and tkkrs are like the most miserable jobless people on the planet and JM is happy and healthy and wealthy and loved, so there’s that if nothing else. Stantwt in general just full of miserable losers.

Anyways sorry for yapping so much again lmao, I resonate with you on all these issues, I could go on forever about some of this lol so I’ll stop. And for sure, it would be nice for more jkkrs to talk about this kind of stuff tbh, at least the ones who are active in the fandom. And yeah the situation with the HYBE leaks and how they’re already doing the most to twist and start another smear campaign on JM and jkk, just insane 🫠 you know if solo fights were just name-calling it wouldn’t be as much of an issue, I don’t feel like some people understand the kind of damage these groups are doing and the lengths they go to. But we will just keep streaming and supporting and doing our best I guess 😭 same old same old, always something insane happening.

[homesickn]

Isn't Bite Also Touch?

(Loki X female demon!reader)

Chapter 8! — read it all here.

Summary: You and Loki have the first training practice together with the Avengers.

“Who the Hell is Ediel?” Clint asked. “I swear you are bringing people for free from now on.”

It's the first training practice that you're joining along with the Avengers.

“I agree with Hawkeye.” You say, a hand holding your foot up in your stretching. You're all preparing yourselves before starting the exercises. "The Avengers are just accepting free forms at this point.”

“I never even heard this name Ediel in the Bible,” Clint comments, shrugging his shoulders. “Not that I've really paid attention.”

“Maybe it's a made-up name,” you say as if you don't know the truth.

“I love how you're just gossiping about him as if you don't know his life,” Thor brings up with a smile. You give a smile back, sticking your tongue out. “It's kind of funny.”

“Listen, dude. I'm just saying,” There's a twinkle to your expression as you share. “Maybe…if you search for his pictures you'll see his real name.”

“You're the first person that I've ever seen call Thor a dude,” Nat says and you laugh.

“I literally couldn't care less.” Clint expresses with a tired grunt, referring to all the Ediel talk. He was wrapping some bandage wrap around his fist because it was covered by a large bruise.

Ediel was taking pictures somewhere else, it was understandable to say that the humans loved Ediel, since the party scandal. They adored him, it left you infuriated. 

He wasn't even that special, you could do so many more things than him, you were overly powerful, your powers crossed the limits throughout Hell and Earth. You were a child of Satan.

Yet, he was what they wanted to take pictures of. Bunch of fools. 

They're pathetic.

You cross your arms as you look at the team preparing their places, you angrily mutter out your thoughts of him. “Idiot, he's a fool.”

“Anyone from a thousand miles would be able to hear your angry mumbling.” Loki says, coming to your side, crouching down to where you stood sitting near the wall.

“I'm not mumbling, I don't do that.” You cock your head, barely turning to face him. “You know, you were nicer to me when you didn't know I was a demon,” you muse.

He looks at you, amused by your sudden statement.

“When I first saw you you seemed like the most powerful creature my eyes had ever seen,” you blush at his words, that does leave you a bit baffled and speechless. “I wasn't anticipating any family issues in your life story.” He says, remembering the Angel.

You grunt in annoyance, still with your arms crossed childishly. 

“As I said, you don't know me.”

“That's right,” he looks elsewhere. “I despise you.”

That stings a bit more than you expected. How could he claim not to like you? You've barely ever done anything to him.

“Just now, right?” He looks at you with curiosity, and a frown. “You didn't hate me when we first met. You were kind.”

He looks around the room as you say that, quietly remembering his pleasantry when he thought you were just a very powerful witch. He didn't want to think about being too soft and trusting with a demon, but you've done nothing if not show him loyalty and… friendliness.

And on the contrary to his beliefs, he was feeling yet stronger every day, after spending it with you.

He thought you'd weaken him. He thought he should keep himself away. 

He tried to shake away the small bubbling guilt he started to feel. He could see the little bruise, almost non-perceptible, that he'd left on your lips.

“Honestly,” he clears his throat. “I feel like it makes sense for me to doubt your truth.” He tries to explain, he knew you were lying to him about something you wouldn't tell.

You tilt your head arrogantly.

“Well, then you can despise me very far away from me,” you shoosh him away with your hands, like you're guiding a dog out. “Go, go, leave me alone.” 

He looks incredulous, kind of entertained by your gestures.

“You can't treat me like that, are you serious?” He says, but he's smiling at your funny attempts to stop him from bothering you. “I'm not a dog.”

“One day,” you confidently start. “I'll make you my little pet. My dog, a very misbehaved stray for me to train. Mark my words. You'll kneel at my feet.” He feels the power behind those words reach his groins as he shamelessly gives you an infuriating smile.

“Don't threaten me with a good time.”

“I'm being nice, you literally compared me to a–” you paused dramatically to say the next word. “bug, if you remember, from earlier, a bug.”

“Forgive me,” he said, smiling at you. It didn't feel very sincere.

You were quite shaken from his behavior, as much as you love playfully annoying him, his constant emotional barrier strikes you by surprise at times. 

Surprise only, not sadness. You wouldn't let yourself feel inferior for that, much less his silly offending names during rough sexual acts.

Besides, you like it when he's rough too.

Steve arrives a few minutes after, taking your attention away from the annoying god by your side. 

He brings his hands together and begins to explain the exercises you were about to practice, also, how every single training is depending on your specific powers and strength as an individual.

So you should have a partner that matches your level to fight with, and as there's no other match for magic…

“I guess you could say that's me.” Loki points at himself when you look for a partner.

“Look, I would fight you, of course,” you lift your hands up to him as you explain. “But frankly, I don't want to kill you.”

“Kill me?” He laughs. “You're so funny, little demoness.” He conjures his knives.

“Now be careful you two. We don't want to ruin our training with a real murder, we already have enough trouble at bay.” You quirk your eyebrow to Loki from Steve's words.

“See, you fool?” You make sure to make your hands a bit reddish with your powers now, warm enough to burn as you touch him, but not enough to be perceptible to others that you're using pyrokinesis. “No killing.”

Loki sees your little trick, he can feel your magic as you're close, and purposefully makes his hands colder too, he could only hope they didn't turn blue.

As you go for the first attack he hisses from the burn, he grabs your wrist and you feel the freezing touch on your skin.

“Oww!” You jump from the cold and feel the needle pricking sensation on your flesh. You gasp as you point accusing him. “Cheater! You're using ice powers! I didn't even know you had these.”

“You get caught unaware and assume I'm cheating now?” You take the moment of his distraction, and jump to fight him in another hurried way, like a wild beast.

He catches you by your hips while you keep hitting his head with your fists giving very burning sensations. Nothing truly harmful, so it doesn't step the limits.

He complains and winces from the touch. “We should agree on no pyrokinesis, to keep the battle fair.”

“Am I hurting the little prince?” You manage to ask, smiling devilishly as he still holds you up, attempting to take you off of him. 

“You truly are an annoying little imp, aren't you?” You feel the softness behind those words, your attacks now getting less intense. The others don't stop their training, you keep your focus on Loki's moves.

He manages to push you off of him with a blast of his green seidr, you fall on one of the comfortable mats on the floor, proper for practical fighting. 

You giggle as your body hits the ground, you give a thumbs up to him as you cradle your lower stomach. “Good one, man, you got me.” 

Loki doesn't know why he feels this… guilt as he watches you, the same position, you, on the floor. Quite the same as earlier but now your words rang in his ears.

You don't know why he's standing there like a fish left in thought, but you take the moment to lift yourself with easy flexibility, giving a superhero stance as you run towards him again.

Your powers make him hit the wall, he grunts and gives you a smile.

“Didn't hurt. Is this the best your powers can do?”

“I told you, I could kill you if I use them too much, be careful.” You tease and feel the magic tingling your veins, it excites you whenever you can use it freely like this. You were almost jumping like a kid from excitement.

“As much as magic may be a fascinating sight,” Natasha says, and you turn to face her. “Please, don't break anything in the way.” 

Bruce was sitting on a little chair as he spoke up. “Yeah, preferably everything in place.”

Loki grabs your arm and twists your body with his to the ground, hovering you again, and licking his lips. You feel the shock to your core as you look up his eyes, he gulps as he looks down into yours.

“Don't turn your back to your enemy, you really do need the training lessons.” 

You smile. “Well, I don't have to practice. I don't need to.” You easily turn his body around, pinning him down this time. 

He hungrily gazes your figure up on him, straddling him, then he catches your eyes again.

“See? I can do anything I want, sometimes you tend to forget.” You wink and press yourself closer to his chest, almost reaching his mouth as you speak.

“This doesn't look like the usual training we have around here,” Tony mutters, peeking from the open door. “This is why I don't participate in these things.”

You lick your lips and move to guide Loki's body up with you, he relents and attaches his hand to yours as you two move to stand up.

Once it's done, you stare at the sight of your hands together, you twist it a little, like a creature facing something unusual, analyzing it. It's not something you usually do. 

Nobody really ever held your hand, even in a situation as casual as this was.

He untangles his hands from yours. You feel the wish you could grab it back.

“Let's keep training.”

“Who do you train with?” You ask Thor, taking a breath from your training with Loki.

“With Loki, but you stole him from me,” he says, not very seriously, smiling at you and handing you a bottle of water. “My brother and I fight together all the time, it's almost tradition between us at this point. He's the only match for my Asgardian strength.”

It feels comforting to see the familiarity behind Thor's words, he's really nostalgic as he talks of his experiences of battle and training practices with his brother. 

“But it's great to see an equal match to him, one that shares magical abilities too,” he continues.

“It's rare those moments that you come to compliment me or my skill set,” Loki snickers at his brother. 

“I always speak the world of you,” Thor's words felt too honest, too impactful to a level you felt you were interrupting something personal about him, and his family.

You're in awe, his brother truly loves him.

But who are you to say anything to Loki? You know how he must feel. Left to always be the one in second place, his brother destined to have the throne.

Your eyes glance at the others still in action, your muscles ready to continue the fighting but you take the time to ponder your thoughts.

That's why Loki must be so restricted, so distrusting. He questions your every move, just because of your nature. 

You don't want to take Thor's side and tease Loki's moodiness, besides, it's not really your business, you don't know what they've been through.

“Do you want to train with him a little? We can keep going later,” You offer to Thor, and say the second part to Loki.

“Are you really selling me like that?” Loki asks jokingly with a smile.

“Yes. It's a very easy deal,” You say, the golden brother laughs and pats Loki's back.

“Let's do some battle moves, just like the old times,” Thor moves to grab his weapon, Loki doesn't seem excited, but he definitely seems used to it as he readies himself. “Then you will show the lady your fighting techniques.” 

You smile at the two, glad to be an audience.

“Just know I'll be rooting for you!” You loudly tell Loki, he stops short on his steps, processing your words. Then, he quietly moves to prepare for the training with his brother.

Some hours later, you find yourself walking towards Stark's common lab to pester him.

“There's a lot of new people coming around,” You say, shrugging your shoulders as you share with Tony. “This is ridiculous, why so many? Why do you even need so many people around?”

“This tower doesn't stand by itself.”

“It actually does, that's how buildings are made.”

“No, no, stupid, I meant the work around here. S.H.I.E.L.D and the Stark Industries.” Tony brings up, checking some files. “You're just complaining because your brother is getting pampered by the media, it's a good thing, at least it covers your face from the news.”

“My face in the media should be a delight, humans should be grateful. AND, you should know better than to call me stupid,” you meekly threaten.

“You don't scare us.”

“Because I choose not to,” your voice is cold.

“Right,” he pretends not to care. “But what is the matter with that? Having many people around.”

You sigh loudly as you look out of the lab, unfortunately seeing that there's one of the female agents talking with Loki. A blonde, high-pitched voice woman.

“Like, who the fuck is she?” You point to the woman close to Loki.

“Oh, that's Clair. She's one of the best in the business.”

“I bet she is,” you angrily muster. “Such a pathetic human name.”

“She's also incredibly Christian, maybe that's just your demon side speaking,” you pout from Tony's words. 

“Cheer up, sis, no one's stealing your man from you.” Ediel shows up and you give him an angry stare.

The lab was usually chillier than the common areas of the Tower, you wondered why Tony felt the need to keep everything cold and so robotic-looking, but again, you're not the scientist here. 

“You shouldn't even be here,” you bring up. “All of your species are insufferable, always bringing up their noses where they weren't called.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Tony swears, passing his hand down his face in disbelief, and clear annoyance. “Could you shut the fuck up? Honestly, I'll pay for you to leave the house.”

You smile impishly, tilting your shoulders up and down in joy. Still smiling even as you look over where Loki is.

“Deal.”

“Wait, what?” Tony is confused.

“I want to go out!” You plead like a child. “But I can't go by myself…” 

“Poor Loki,” Ediel looks at the ceiling to avoid your face. “Not only is being held hostage here but has to deal with you and your possessiveness.”

A tilt of your wrist has his voice disappearing, surprising Stark with the sudden use of your magic like that. 

Ediel touches his throat and tries to figure out what's wrong with his vocal cords, because you've removed it with magic.

“Finally, some peace,” you sigh, then smile to leave their presence, moving towards the loud lady bugging Loki with her presence.

“Loki!” You call loudly, interrupting with a shake of your hand eagerly through the air. “Loki! Loki!”

He almost rolls his eyes, but holds back a smile. 

“Pardon,” he whispers to Clair. As you reach over, he puts his hand close to your stomach to stop you in your steps. He says your name. “Don't do–”

“Who are you?” You ask the woman whom you already know the name of, the sparkle in your eyes holding fake politeness. 

“Don't do anything irrational,” Loki's low tone orders, his timbre almost vibrating through your brain like a purr of a kitten, but he seems a bit too serious when he says these words. “Please, I know you.”

You gape at him and put a hand over your chest. Looking at the girl who's sheepishly looking back at you, shy now. 

She introduces herself calmly, you nod to recognize it but still pay more attention to Loki's insinuation.

“I'm not going to do anything, such a lack of trust! You need some therapy, man,” again, he sighs off, from the term, squishing his eyes shut now. “Therapy, some talking would do you good, for sure.” 

He passes his hand over his face in annoyance, you close your arms around him. He just puts his hand on your arm to steady you. 

“I'm a god, I don't need these things, a Midgardian giving me tips on how to live my life,” you're surprised he doesn't push you away, just keeps his hand over your arm, so you can look up from his chest.

He looks down at you to see you talk.

“Do they have therapy in Asgard?” 

“We do, we're just too proud to face it sometimes.”

“So that's just a general experience then. Good to know,” you don't want to waste his good mood too much.

Clair's just shamefully trying to move away to leave you two alone, trying to sneak out. You could only chuckle, the sound muffling against Loki's chest.

“You drove her away,” he states, not sounding harsh or upset. His hand caresses your back now, he also pushes your hair behind your ears. 

“I tend to do it a lot.”

“They're scared of you.”

“I know that too,” you could hear his heartbeat. “Do you know we're allowed out?” He knits his eyebrows, surprised, maybe it's a lie.

“How?”

“I tricked Stark, I think,” he can't hold back his smile from your sentence. 

In Asgard, Thor was the one that was considered the role model, Loki always tried to be like him. 

He recognized from an early age that his methods and thinking were too different from his brother's, it upset him, even his sense of humor contained more wit and tricks, his tricks would always bring the fun to the scenes most of the time.

It was somewhat devilish from the Asgardians perspective, the tricks, Loki wasn't naturally aware of how socially devious his pranks were.

Thor was always the one being praised, the more he tried to copy that, the lonelier he felt when he didn't receive the same treatment. 

The tricks felt like an escape, something that's his, his magic did that too. The mischief suddenly didn't come only for battle tactics or parties, or to call for the attention of his parents.

It became part of him, it grew within him, he couldn't get it away. To a point, he became known to it. Everybody knew of his tricks and lies, they grew popular and infamous. 

There were a lot of problems that came with being popularly known as a trickster, obviously. But altogether, it felt quite lonely. 

Something he thought to be inherently linked with being a trickster, and the God of Lies: you get no one's trust, no one sticks with you, he should grow used to loneliness.

His mother was the only one who's always seen him in a different light, even if it's difficult for Loki to admit— and he isn't going to say this outloud; but he knows she loves him. She loves him, she motivated him to learn more magic, she's one of the only people who could find the fun in some of his harmless tricks. She often says she's proud of his intellect, respecting him for all his individuality. 

She's the only person he resented not seeing from this deal of having to stick to Midgard. She's the only one he truly misses when he thinks of home.

His mind often convinces him most of the time that all she did was out of guilt, for lying to him for his entire life. 

He doesn't know why he feels so sour, that's why he's refusing to think too much about home lately.

But you?

Your bright eyes locking with his, he could only hope you don't hear the quick pounding in his chest. 

You came into his life with all he's been criticized for in his life, sharing it with him and not feeling ashamed of it for even a second. And for the first time, he's found someone who truly seems to admire all the powers he has, who shares the same mischief as him. A demon.

He never knows what to do with this information, he doesn't know what to think, it's like a huge barrier prevents him from trusting you. 

Whenever he thinks too much about your trustworthiness, the reminders of his time under Thanos' grip hit him like the blade of a sharp knife. He could still feel the phantom pains from the bubbling heat burning his skin, from the chains holding him as he tries to remember how it feels like to be safe.

And he'd often try to forget how painful the lies they told hurt him, he tried to think of home, searching for a feeling of safety, but it'd only bring him further down his pain, it would stick inside and mix with something traumatic, and bitter.

It's difficult, he still doesn't feel free. The nightmares make that, you make him doubt your loyalty, what if he wakes up one day and he's still there? 

Out there, dehydrating and begging for peace in his mind, feeling his bones weaken under his usually so tough skin. It still gives him goosebumps, he swallows in anxiety.

His hand is still on your back, you're curiously looking up at him. 

“Too deep into his own thoughts for me to see it,” you think, you're not so sure you, actually, wish to read his mind.

“Earth to Loki?” You ask. He brings his gaze to you again.

“Unfortunately, I'm still on this godforsaken planet,” you laugh.

“I'm going to make sure we can go out.”

“As in, like, from the Tower? Forever?”

“I was thinking just for like, a park or something,” you pretend to think. “But yeah, we can discuss escaping later. I have my ways.”

Taglist: @mischief2sarawr @dangertoozmanykids101 @lokidbadguy

[senka-mesecine]

Another soldier does try to get you away from Barnes, really tries to turn your head. I'd love a short on how he reacts to the audacity. And of course, what happens to you after entertaining the idea or being piqued with curiosity for the other man. Barnes' intensity could weigh heavy... Xoxo

-

So, basically...what Barnes would do if he was jealous?

Because, hoo boy.

― First of all, it's really funny (and downright frightening) how you'd never be able to tell. In fact, nobody's able to tell. Even those who spend most time with him or around him. He sees what he's jealous of, he assesses it, places what he's assessed somewhere in the back of his mind and it stays there, hidden behind the eyes and a thousand mile stare. Churning, churning, churning in the machine of his mind. Outwardly, he almost comes off stoically detached or too disinterested to care about whatever it was, but the exact opposite is true. He noticed everything, downright to the most miniscule of details. Those eyes of his miss nothing. It's just that someone like Barnes might think his own private thoughts are his own private thoughts most days, and unless he personally decides it and when he decides it (which is usually never) he isn't gonna be here acting like some simple ass motherfucker leaking his heart out all over the place. Nope. He keeps his jealousies right where nobody can see them. That's the way these things should go, he might think. That's the way things ought to be.

― But, thing is, even though he's seemingly cold, seeing you do or say something that causes him jealousy or someone else doing something in relation to you that brings about the same effect is so sickening literal death is more pleasant. To someone like Barnes? Yeah, death is more pleasant. Death's second nature, actually. He's personally sought out death countless times and looked it right in the eye and it's nothing compared to this. This just makes him see red and hear white noise, honest to god leaving me think that if someone can trigger a trauma response in themselves just off of seeing someone they love cause them jealousy, weather or not this person's aware of it and what they're doing to their loved one. Barnes would be such a man. You have to understand his first instinct is to kill. The idea someone could take you away? That you might just want them to? Hey, you don't even have to seriously consider it. Maybe it was playful; a joke blown out of proportion or a common courtesy Barnes just. didn't. like. Regardless, might as well point a rifle at him and he'd just about tell you to shoot.

― But, that other person? The root and causer of the jealousy? They don't even realize something real bad's gonna happen to them because Barnes has that way, as mentioned above, of being entirely poker faced right before he cuts you off, say, somewhere where you're all alone and just murders you in cold blood while looking straight at you. Doesn't at all mind doing it in front of witnesses either, which is a teller just how frightening his anger really is. How overpowering, when in the moment he's conducting this violence he's not thinking about the punishment that might come later; he's just thinking about the other person's death. If it gets far enough, yes, Barnes would definitely kill the person causing him jealousy. It's a casual Wednesday for him, really. As easy as walking out into the woods, intercepting someone somewhere, showing up in their space, taunting them enough or provoking them. Maybe it's blunt and as open as him more or less nonchalantly saying 'I'm here to kill you so you either do sum' 'bout that or die.' Problem? Gone. Barnes is an effective killer and that's that on that.

― Doesn't matter if it's a fellow soldier or a civilian, although I can see Barnes admittedly being more offended if it's a civilian and not another serviceman. It feels as banal as slaughtering a chicken on a farm to him. A soldier? Might just be more covert with that one, tactically speaking; see it more like eliminating an actual foe rather than hunting small game with a tank and as a results, he gets more immersed. Dignifies the hunt with more, well, dignity, if it can even be called that. Accidents happen in war and this person who's been throwing eyes at you could just befall a horrible accident that's actually of Barnes' making, reaching a fatal outcome. Of course, Barnes can come out of the incident entirely blameless and your beau-to-be's dead, so how's that? If he's feeling particularly sadistic, and he often does, might just take some sort of memento or trophy out of the lump of shit's carcass because he's won that right. Might just, in equal measure, present it to you when the time's right. It's a little like a hound dragging the corpse of a mangled rabbit in front of someone's feet. Barnes is making a statement here.

― The main cause why Barnes is going to these extremes is because, in general, he's extreme. But, also? Because he noticed you actually responding to whoever was hitting on you and that shit's like a burning shrapnel to the gut; if your approach to these whole flirting thing was cold or neutral, even politely so, he'd might get into a fight over it at worst. At best? He'd just intimidate the asshole away from you by his mere existence. You being piqued, though? You're entertained? Alright, entertain this --- you just had a man killed. You caused this. Did this to this sad sack of shit long before Barnes ever pulled out a knife to actually execute the target; he might just do it in front of you so the notion has the time to settle in. Barnes won't gloat. Won't really rub it in. But, the action speaks for itself. He's trying to relay that he's not a man to be trifled with. Could just give you a long, lingering glare after it's done so you'd understand. Ma'am, meet the consequences of your own actions. He doesn't quite look like himself when he's in a state like this. Even during most normal days Barnes is a frightening SOB, but now he just about looks downright primal.

― So, what happens to you, you might ask? Strangely anticlimactic conclusion is that Barnes might just go about his day and calm down. Diffuse himself. Yep. You live the same as you always did. He's killed, yeah, so what? He's going to have a smoke and a drink about it. You imagine this is his first rodeo? He's killed before. If provoked or if he felt it necessary, he would again. And if you think this is some landmark event that'll change everything between you and him and pose irreconcilable differences, you're wrong, because for Barnes, it changes nothing. It's a fact of life; two men fight and one dies because the tougher one did him in. 'Cept, he's the tougher one. Now, more than ever, you're his. Wanna know why? Because he's killed for you. How many people can say that? If this was some great, big battle to see who gets you, he's stepped out victorious and someone like him might think that he has a right to you more than ever before. Nothing of note happens to you as a result; you just get to stew in the firm fact of what the ultimately result of making him jealous is forever. His jealousy is a cold, deadly like that just erupts out of nowhere like that.

― There's something...weirdly unhinged and downright hardhearted about the fact that he just continues life as usually with you --- like this whole bloodshed spree was just another fact of reality to him; he eats with you, drinks with you, comes to bed with you, fucks you, his love and passion, however messed up and just about as dark as a lump of coal, remains unchanged too --- sole difference being he has one extra kill notch, as they say, tucked under his belt. That's Barnes and jealousy for you. He gets even.

[animentality]

You ever think about how the fandom will go nuts trying to explain how Astarion is ~basically~ an elven child and how he’s absolved of all guilt for everything he’s done by the abuse he endured and yet… on the other hand we also have Gortash, who very literally was a child when sold to the hells and put through who knows what manner of abuse, saw who knows what messed up shit, who has had chances to do better, yes, but has also had to fight to survive and be more than just a beggar on the streets once he escaped. And he’s the totally evil and irredeemable one according to most fans. I’m not trying to woobify him btw, it’s just always interesting how every other character gets defended on the basis of “but cult conditioning/abuse/etc” but Gortash is uniquely the worst man alive. Which he is, but also. Cmon. Astarion has a long list of innocent victims and is a razors edge away from becoming the next cazador in any given play through and yet he’s a perfect uwu angel apparently. This isn’t about saying Gortash isn’t evil, this is about saying he’s not drastically more evil than a lot of other nuanced characters in this game who get defended by the fandom masses.

ANON if I could kiss you, I would commit tax evasion with you.

THIS.

Like I know Gortash is awful, but so is fucking everyone.

Shadowheart can become a Dark Justiciar and do awful things for Shar. Lae'zel and the githyanki are a bunch of pricks who kill their own kids for showing weakness and kill innocent people all the goddamn time. Minthara obviously slaughters a bunch of innocent refugees, if you allow her to, and as a drow, probably committed a cavalcade of evil actions.

Gale's blind ambition could've nuked a fucking town. He might not have intended to become a living bomb, but he did, and by running around Faerun, he WAS putting literally everyone within like five miles of him in mortal danger. Wyll would've killed Karlach if you weren't there, and he expresses this horror, because he has definitely killed innocents for Mizora before.

Astarion would've gladly become Cazador 2.0, if you didn't stop him. He might've started out ok, but he would descend into that same evil, using you until there was nothing left of you, and treating others the way he was treated, because he sees himself as a god now.

Even fucking Karlach...who is a sweetie, and god I love her...well fuck, didn't Gortash accuse her of knowing just how shady his shit was? She was a desperate kid, yes, and he definitely took advantage of her, but he explicitly calls her out for working for him, even though she knew he was shady (if not a Banite). Plus she was his bodyguard for years. As if your bodyguard wouldn't know you were being a peace of shit?

The WHOLE POINT of Baldur's Gate 3 is that you and your companions are defined by your choices.

The option EXISTS to SAVE THESE PEOPLE.

THERE IS NO OPTION TO SAVE GORTASH.

The game gives you the option of seeing him die one way or the other way.

I'm just SAYING it's not totally fair to act as if Gortash is truly irredeemable, when out of all the villains, he at least had an idea of a better world, even if it was still self serving and frankly awful.

He was slightly better than the Dark Urge, and they GET the choice of redeeming themselves.

He never does. And maybe he wouldn't have taken it, but that's really not the point.

You hit the nail on the head, bud.

Gortash is evil, no doubt, this is true, he is not just a victim of circumstances, he made every wrong decision he could've made...

But the fandom has no problem woobifying Astarion even though that scene with Sebastian is fucking soul wrenching.

They raise their hackles at Gortash, as though he's been alive for 200 years and lured thousands to their deaths/vampirism, and they forget that Lae'zel is absolutely awful, and approves every time you murder children in front of her.

And Shadowheart spent her childhood learning to torture people.

You can say well their crimes aren't equivalent- and yes, that is true, HOWEVER.

Remember that you have met them when they were powerless.

If given power...if they had never been mindcontrolled by parasites...well shit, they might've fucking killed you.

They might've become tyrants themselves. I know it's purely conjecture on my part, I just kinda...I don't even necessarily want a redeemed Gortash storyline.

I'm fine with him just being a villain!

I just also have a working brain that doesn't understand the reflexive urge to say, he couldn't redeem himself if he tried.

I think, in this fictional world of course, that redemption should be possible. I think if they are honestly trying, and they repay the debts they incurred, then it might be justified.

But we didn't get that choice, and neither did he, and honestly, with what the game presents...I can whole heartedly say no, he wouldn't have redeemed himself. Even if he could, he would not have done it.

But the possibility does exist.

Trying to deny it makes you look like a hypocrite as you insist Ascended Astarion is still an uwu baby.

Like nah, sweetie. Good luck with that.