#i just needed to get it out of me
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and here I thought you were actually interested in my life. silly me.
#vent post#so yeah i was talking to my mum and i was telling her about some stuff that happened yk making conversation#she listened for a while and i was so haply thay she was listening when she deadass interrupted me and went “i dont care”#yeah thanks for being so fcking honest i guess#maybe try being a mum and TRY being interested#like i always listen to her talking about stuff that doesn't interest me and even when she talks so bad about some people i listen bc i know#people just need to vent sometimes but the second i tell her smth that isnt college or anything that makes her feel good about being my mum#she just doesnt care#im sorry this is so long#i just needed to get it out of me#so yeah if you read this far yippie 😭🫶
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Real life shit underneath
I am afraid.
I am fearful of so many things right now.
My parents' health is failing at a slowly but ever more increasing rate and I am literally a thousand miles away. I had a not so great relationship with my mother growing up, but ever since she went thru menopause we've been on the mend. But because I'm the youngest child and they were older than was typical when they had me, I have less time with them to begin with. I fear that something drastic will happen with the limited time of good standing I have with my parents and I won't physically see them again before they die.
In order to move closer to them I am trying to get my partner a job at my employer, where there are still fully remote positions. Partner's current job requires in office and is only located here in Florida, Texas, and Georgia. Obviously I'm not moving from 1 dumpster fire to another, so partner jumping ship from his job is really the only option. However, I have heard nothing from my HR dept and there's not much else I can do about it.
I worry myself into being so nauseous that I can't even eat over the imminent political future here in the US. I have fought my entire life to be a person with human rights under the law (and I do mean my whole life, I've been politically active since like age 12, and no my parents did not usher me into this as they do not share many of my beliefs) and I'm tired. I'm just so tired. After being in healthcare thru covid, I'm just. Exhausted. I fear that I will lose access to hormonal birth control that I need for my incredibly severe pmdd, and then lose the right to work, to own property and assets, to lose ownership of myself entirely. That level of all-encompassing fear will eat you alive from the inside out.
My other furbaby is sick with something respiratory and, just like with Allover, I can't turn off the mental terror. Kimi is not in acute distress, but I'm scared to go to sleep because what if something happens and I don't wake up. If I can't help her and she dies. I don't think I could live with myself.
I'm starting to feel like all I am is just an ever shrinking ball of angst.
Pet tax pic as a thank you for reading this mess:


My babydoll Kimi
#irl shit#and it is shitty#im sorry and thank you#the sad truth is sometimes your best just isnt enough#and its not your fault#its just reality#as one of my motto goes#its not my fault but it is my problem#cats#pet parent#aging parents#mental health#disordered eating#us politics#being a uterus bearer#im not expecting anything from this post#i just needed to get it out of me
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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I just had a really funny song/music video I idea
So yk the Christian girl stereotype/joke that they pray for a man yet never leave the house? Kinda a parody on that where the girls prays for a good Christian man to come into her life and she hears God say bet.
Then song starts. idk music but I imagine smth upbeat, fast and definitely with some rap.
Anyways a man is picked and forced to workout, read his Bible and be baptized. Like a makeover sequence. You could even add a bit where he is stretched to be taller. All while flipping back to clips where the girl is being made pretty and perfect too.
Then at the first chorus the man pops into her bedroom. She is very frightened and tries to run away.
The rest of the music video is the rinse and them both trying to run away from each other but being popped right back next to each other at the chorus.
At the end she is either freed or wakes up from a nap or smth to reset.
Then at the very end like post credits-y there's a scene at a coffee shop with friends and she notices a cute guy. When he turns around he has a tattoo on his neck that is like a call back to song name and a clear sign he is not someone she should pursue this man.
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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☆ six hairstyles!!!!1! (no idea what to title this) ☆
a bit random, but i guess the common theme here is micro bangs. suitable for your vampires and darkly-inclined simmies (or whoever really). most of these were wips from last year and the way i make hairs has changed a bit since, but thought i'd still share them.
unedited CAS screenshots and more info under the cut.
BGC
feminine frame
24 EA swatches + 17 extras
teen-elder
hat compatible
all LODS, all maps
TOU
✧‧₊˚ DOWNLOAD: Patreon (FREE) | SFS ‧₊˚✧
thank you so much for the support <3 if there are any issues, please lmk
still not sure if i like render previews so i included CAS pics anyway. renders are nice looking but they don’t accurately preview how CC looks in-game and they can take a long time, at least on my PC still running on 2017 hardware. my GPU is decent but everything else, not so much. anyway...
Maila 🦇 (7377 polys)
named after Maila Nurmi aka Vampira, this is a Chelsea cut with v-shaped bangs and pigtails. this was actually a request i did last year based on someone's OC. idk if they have a Tumblr, but shoutout to them anyway <3
Rosario 📿 (16625 polys)
another older one. i'm thinking about making this unisex but i'm so dejected rn i don't feel like opening Blender for a bit (someday tho). it's not locked to fem frames but it will clip with the neck when put on masc frames.
Odette ⚰ (15485 polys)
based on this one hairstyle i saw on Pinterest, i can't find it for some reason even though i made this fairly recently.
Lucinda ☀ (19814 polys)
wavy jellyfish cut, this is the most recent one i made. it’s for an OC of mine and it's probably my favorite out of all these. maybe.
Yesenia 🕷 (10869 polys)
just a little edit of the L&D updo, nothing too special. made this when the pack just came out. i could’ve done more with it and added more strands because i like to suffer but it’s fine.
Valentina 🖤 (17332 polys)
idk honestly. this was meant to be for personal use but i thought it was cute enough to share.
#ts4cc#s4cc#sims4cc#the sims 4 cc#ts4cc hair#s4mm#ts4 mm#ts4 maxis match#thesims4cc#sims 4 custom content#the sims 4#🖤#tw death mention#i was supposed to post this last week on the 18th but my grandma suddenly passed away so i felt like it wasn't the best time#she was 92 but that doesn't make it any less sad#i thought the grieving process would be easier bc she was that old but nope#i originally named one of these hairs after her too but changed it because it just didn't suit it#maybe a future cc#anyway sorry i just needed to get this out#have a nice day/night <3 pls hug your grandma for me
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Not telling y'all that you should be able to identify AI slop (but it is a valuable skill, you totes should), but if you're to be accusing artists of being AI left and right at least go and do your homework, or at least do the bare minimum and use AI identification tools like Hive Moderation, so you 1- don't ruin someone's lifehood 2- don't make a clown out of yourself maybe
Like, i get it, AI slop and "AI artists" pretending to be genuine is getting harder and harder to identify, but just accusing someone out of the blue and calling it a day doesn't make it any better.
The AI clowns shifted to styles that have less "tells" and the AI arts are becoming better. Yeah, it sucks ass.
They're also integrating them with memes, so you chuckle and share, like those knights with pink backgrounds, some cool frog and a funny one liner, so you get used to their aesthetic.
This is an art from the new coming set Final Fantasy for MtG. This is someone on Reddit accusing someone of using AI. From what i can tell, and i fucking hate AI, there is NO AI used on this image.
As far as i can tell and as far as any tool i've used, the Artist didn't use AI. which leads to the next one:
they accused the artist of this one of using Ai. the name of this artist is Nestor Ossandon.
He as already been FALSELY ACCUSED of using AI, because he drew a HAND THAT LOOKED A LITTLE WEIRD, which caused a statement from D&D Beyond, confirming that no AI has been used.
Not to repeat mysef, they're accusing the art above, that is by Nestor, to have used Ai.
REAL artists are not machines. And just like the AI slop, we are not perfect and we make mistakes. The hands we draw have wonky fingers sometimes. The folds we draw are weird. But we are REAL. We are real people. And hey, some of our "mistakes" sometimes are CHOICES. Artistic choices are a thing yo.
If you're to accuse someone of using Ai, i know it's getting hard to identify. But come on. At least do your due diligence.
#no#i will not “tag” the Ai artists of the catsune miku and the cat cux for all i care AI artists can go to hell and burn#but like#there are many of them#and when you figure out how to spot ai and how the AI generate the images#please trust me on this one#it gets super easy to ident like 80% of most of it#the catsune miku is the HARDEST to ident so far#because it did something out of the ordinary#but otherwise the others have very easy tells#they're trying to mimic styles like watercolors and acrylic#that have blurred edges#and impressionism#that have undefined shapes#so theyr “mistakes” pass as intention#but that's besides the point#what i want here is people to just think a little but before randomly accuse people#cuz it's really getting out of had#and god i do love seeing an AI artist getting their wig yanked out of their fucking scalp for pretending to be a human#but y'all need to know when to do it#some of you don't know how to behave and it shows man
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post-graduation trip airport looks
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jujutsu kaisen fanart#these took ages but fr once i am choosing to forgive myself given th fact tht i was coming out of A State when i drew them#im normal now dw drawing the first years wearing merch of my comfort content fixed me#when in doubt play dress up. life hack#i am holding fast 2 my hc tht megumi is a fiend @ indie platformers and is a household name on the celeste speedrun leaderboards#argue with a wall this is my jujutsu kaisen#megumi designated Drink Runner also#alr in line at a cafe texts their gc 'what do you guys want' n gets mad @ nobara fr making him go to a Second shop 2 get her bubble tea#anyway theres not much 2 say abt these just bc i needed sth Light n Easy 2 get me out of my head#no lore to fashion pieces which is both a blessing and a curse but it Is what i needed#nobara serving looks fr a flight i love u so much. it's probably 8 in the morning n she is in a fully coordinated fit#its so criminal tht we don't have more alt hairstyle official art fr her???? iirc it's Just the lost in paradise mv with her in buns no????#robbed. i am fixing it immediately.#wonder where the 3 of them wld go on a trip
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First meeting
#stobotnik#doctor ivo robotnik#agent stone#sonic movie universe#i hope you all are noticing what i'm doing with stone's clothes specifically#white shirt pre robotnik black to fit his goth boss then colors when ivo starts wearing red#also i know we all like to think robotnik hated being assigned an agent but i present to you:#he sees it as a symbol of status kinda. stone hates being here#it just feels right to me. it's not that robotnik thinks the agent will be useful at all#he's just pleased that he got one#everyone else has an assistant why shouldn't he?#this ties to a very very stupid headcanon i have#and it's that robotnik's blood type is O negative#HEAR ME OUT he would hate that. he would hate being an universal donnor because he doesn't care about saving lives of humans ew#but then stone is also O negative so that means robotnik can receive blood from him if necessary#and that's mostly the reason why he was chosen to be his assistant#ivo is too important to die! and O negative blood isn't that common#Stone knows but probably no one told robotnik#then of course imagine stone getting injured and needing blood and ivo is like wait i can do that it doesn't matter what his blood type is#you get the point#i think. i'm pretty sure there was a point#oh well#oh the no hr joke. they're a shady goverment organization i don't think they treat their people that well#that being said maybe robotnik's treatment of stone was the reason they had to get an hr department who knows
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'Cause I'm stuck with your stories
#epic the musical#telemachus#odysseus#hermes#athena#circe#will I get beat up labeling this as another ‘rkgk’#ok technically the ‘stories’ Telemachus knew wouldn’t be of the odyssey but let me have my epic lyrical moment#I just needed to get this composition out of my head#in another universe I’m more patient to color this </3
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Company Mandated Fancy Fits on the Tulpar 😏
Also had to include the REAL star of the show (and a bonus)


Based off of this and this. Thank you very much joetastic for being inspirational 👍
The REAL reason this is late

#just pretend I posted this like 6 days ago 😁👍#<-got distracted#sorry I’m Afflicted with The Curse and everything just takes me a long time#also right now I’m just kind of being experimental with my workflow and style right now so stuff is just naturally taking a bit longer#mouthwashing#mouthwashing fanart#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#nurse anya#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing curly#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#myart#anyway my new years resolution is to put more WOMEN in SUITS and MEN in DRESSES#had fun drawing this but still not too sure about the rendering style just yet. probably just gonna keep playing around with shit#IM DOING IT SCARED but im DOING IT#im also still trying to figure out how to Social Media#am i doing it right#GRAAAHHHHHHH I NEED TO BETTER UNDERSTAND FORMATTING POSTS#i have a more serious mouthwashing piece in the works but wanted to get this done first lol#honestly I have a buncha sketches I should post too#i like them but they’re not really composited very well if you catch my drift. been having trouble with sketch page layout recently#which is kind of antithetical to the idea of a sketch page but you know how it is with spaghetti#i doodled the others on the side and liked how they looked so i just put some color and basic shading on them#edit: realized i forgot to change the color of the ‘lapel’ on jims shirt lol
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thanks for listening
#look at me#look at m#i need you to ignore canon for a second and let them have this moment#it occured to me that soundwave would’ve been the only one who could hear bee after he got his voice ripped out#and i drew this so fast#someone called them ‘soundad and bumbleson’ aND THATS ALL IVE BEEN HINKING ABOUT HAHHUAHA#i have a lot of thoughts about these two#soundwave is probably really accustomed to liars and twofacers after being around characters like starscream for so long#so when he meets bee#and all he gets is this blind honest truth from everything he says#he’s probably blindsided by it#like this little guy. this little yellow guy#has so much faith and love and nothing to gain from giving it away#it’s not some ploy with ulterior motives or lie to win his favour like starscream or sentinel#nope. this little guy just radiates the plain honesty of his truth#that he adores him#and soundwave has never seen anything like it before#soundwave#transformers#maccadam#b 127#transformers one#tf one#SORRY FOR THR PARAGRAPH RANT YOU CAN PRY THEIR FATHER SON DYNAMIC FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS#and yes bee still calls megatron dee in his head#he never stopped#zorangetf
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(post 2.1 quest) unexpected
#they make me so ill i swear to god#im delusional therefore aventurine lives and ratio welcomes him back like this#i need 2.2 yesterday#excuse how messy it is bc i just wanted to get the gay out of my brain#its still there of course#ratiorine#dr ratio#veritas ratio#dr ratio hsr#aventurine#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#hsr
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when we’re done with our overwhelming grief we’ll eat i guess
#book 22#im verh drunk#hi#greatest hits#not really sure why this one resonated. are u all ok#is everyone just at the shiva#yall need to stop saying you arent gonna eat then in the tags#i love that a lot of you are getting beautiful things out of this#but some of yall need to know i wrote this while incredibly drunk#this isnt meant to be all that deep this is just shitty iliad posting#more comments like this is just judaism. surprise surprise im jewish#but again this isnt about sitting shiva#this is me drunk talking about the last 3 books of the iliad#idk what to tell u man#legendary warrior
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Abby went into the pit and made a FNAF friend..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#abby schmidt#oswald fnaf#spring bonnie#william afton#into the pit#fnaf movie#fazbear frights#fnaf fanart#INTO THE PIT CONTENT RAHH 🔥🔥#OSWALD MENTIONED 🔥🔥#okay so I’m hyped for ITP obviously#the more we see of this game the more I want to play it#so I HAD to draw something for it to just get the need out of me#this is my coping until I can play it 💔#I hope all the frights books gets adapted into games#maybe I’ll draw some other book characters soon.. we’ll see#Abby in the movie goes into the ballpit#lil joke that what if she met Oswald there#and his ‘’dad’’/sping Bonnie#again just Abby befriending everyone moment!!#Oswald probably does need the friendship too cause he’s gone thru it
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i have suddenly become obsessed with a theme that HoO established but never proceeded to extrapolate on, which is:
You are Percy Jackson, and you have been swapped with a boy who was allegedly everyone's favorite person, but they have decided to replace him with you. They just met you. You stand next to his best friend and the people he's known his entire life. In his home. In his cloak. In his place. They stopped looking for him.
You are Jason Grace, and you have just found out you have a long lost sister who completely replaced you in her life with this girl you just met. Your lives and personalities are mirrors. She is you, living the life you were robbed of.
You are Annabeth Chase, and you have just become starkly aware that you have been inhabiting the void left behind by your best friend's long lost brother. You and Luke were just replacements for him. Now you have to look him in the eyes when he has nothing and know you took that life from him.
You are Piper McLean, and you have just found out your relationship is fake and built entirely on the memories of Annabeth Chase. You have been given a boyfriend when hers has been taken away. You have no idea how much of it is real or not but regardless you feel like if your relationship isn't exactly in their image that you have failed.
You are Leo Valdez, and you have just learned that you are the echo of your great-grandfather. You are not your own person. You just exist to be a mirror of him. A doppelganger. An actor and stunt double facing all the danger he never had to but wearing his face. To be there for his best friend decades later simply because he couldn't. You are playing a role. A seventh wheel and a pawn for a goddess who carefully sculpted your entire life for her own purposes.
You are Hazel Levesque, and the only reason you are alive is because your brother couldn't save your his sister. You are a consolation prize. An apology. Your existence here is misplaced in every way but you inhabit it anyways.
You are Frank Zhang, and you are a shapeshifter. Inhabiting your own body feels strange and clumsy when you could be literally anything at any time. You are anything and everything and live your life with the simple certainty of knowing exactly how you will die.
#pjo#hoo#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#riordanverse#jason grace#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#hazel levesque#frank zhang#meta#analysis#me shaking hoo: what if we actually address the interpersonal dynamics of the characters. please. please. please. please.#frank is the only person on the boat not having an identity crisis tied to another member of the crew somehow and that is FASCINATING#but also WHERE is all the interpersonal literally anything. hello. please. making grabby hands. everybody identity crisis go.#i wanna see the entire argo ii crew stumbling through trying to figure out their places and senses of self!!!!!#particularly in relation to each other!!!!! we get snippets but we rarely ever get the full thing or a resolution!!!#like. HELLO??? Piper acknowledging that her relationship with Jason is artificially sculpted in the image of Annabeth and Percy???#and that her ideals of what Jason and her can be are just that she feels like they need to be like what Percy and Annabeth have????#and thats just DROPPED COMPLETELY????#poor Jason is getting replaced twice. Leo is not his own person.#Hazel at least gets the resolution that Nico does not truly see her as a consolation prize#but Annabeth gets to be hit with the like EIGHT YEAR DELAY of learning the place she inhabits in Thalia's life is the echo of someone else#cause like. yeah she knew Thalia had lost her brother but i dont think it clicked for her until she met Jason that oh. she *replaced* him#Frank at least has some certainty about his identity in one aspect (his curse). everybody else is floundering a bit#except for maybe Percy but its kind of the camps of ''i replaced this person and it weighs on me'' versus ''i have been replaced''
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