#what a way to start my vacation
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Look at this sunrise on a beach helping me deal with this atm
#what a way to start my vacation#literally at a beautiful beach and still suffering#what hockey does to a motherfucker#oilers lb
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Oh fine i'm on antibiotics again 🥲
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Haven't even met them yet and I'm already obsessed
#ive been drawing a Lot lately but my vacation ends starting next week so I'll be going back to my old schedule#also whyy does insane pb wear that weird fuckin pajama ass jumpsuit#i hate it#are you kiddinh me she should be wearing the Most over the top maximalist decora kandi kid outfit#and instead shes in prison pajamas#im gonna draw her the way she was meant to be styled#idk when but ill get around to it i promise lol#anyway#mispelled draws#misp draws#adventure time#adventure time fanart#adventure time fionna and cake#fionna and cake#fionna and cake spoilers#ice twink#wait shit whats his actual name holy shit#ice simon#???#princess bubblegum#??????#once again i have realized i Do Not know who they are#winter king#winter king adventure time#winter king fionna and cake#candy queen#candy queen adventure time#candy queen fionna and cake
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starting to feel my enjoyment of cooking seeping back in after a long period of intense burnout that had me really slogging along preparing meals with gritted teeth for a good month there. i credit the return of this spark to the much needed break i took on our 3 day vacation that resulted in us eating solely theme park food. while delicious, in all its greasy overpriced glory, i found myself missing the kitchen. so last night for dinner i made heavily spiced chicken wings with crushed peppercorns and garam masala that rendered slowly in its own fat while roasting in the oven, resulting in flavorful charred crisp skin and a really juicy bite. we picked them clean over steamed rice with lime and scallions. i also baked a loaf of marbled pumpkin and dark chocolate bread yesterday for my neighbor as a thank you for doing me a favor last week. it looked delicious. the crumb was tender and plush and velvety, the spiced ginger molasses pumpkin batter swirling alongside the bitter dark chocolate espresso batter, with puddles of dark chocolate bubbling across its top. it looked so lovely i whipped up a second one for us to have for ourselves that's in the oven now, i think it could be a really good breakfast pastry for us this week.
#ugh it feels sooooooooo good to be enjoying cooking again#it was so bad the last like month or so i just#have been sooooo burnt out#it's genuinely insane what a 3 day vacation can do to reset you :(( it makes me sad lol#i wish that everyone could rest to their hearts content forever#i think i am someone who is extremely prone to burnout and i need about quadruple the amount of quiet alone resting time#that the average person does#so when i get burned out its like excruciating to pull myself out of it again#but im also the primary cook of my household so there isn't really time to take a break and recharge and find my joy for it because#we have to eat lol#3 times a day#every day#forever#BUT#i am feeling so much better about things now after making that dinner and baking a little bit#its feeling soooo autumnal around here lately too which helps#the changing of the seasons is so good for my cooking motivationg#idk#i was feeling pretty depressed that i was starting to resent cooking for a while there since when i enjoy it it's like#life-giving#soul sustaining#wonderful hobby that gives my life purpose and meaning#and it was breaking my heart that i wasn't feeling that way anymore#but i can feel myself coming back#writing about food helps me too#something about describing it#and sharing it with other people who are delighted by it#makes me enjoy it a little extra#sigh#i feel like im returning to myself finally !!!
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infinite wealth if sawashiro said "who gives a shit about ebina im going to hawaii with ichi" and then the rest of the game is a family vacation
#Ok so here's my dream scenario. It starts w kicking kiryu out of the narrative bc girl. I love the guy but he does not need to be here!!#kicking him out of the narrative also banishes the ebina stuff. I'm still keeping him around but#he'll be basically built up to be the main antagonist of 9. We're ONLY focusing on the cult stuff for 8#the way 8 closes him off is already sequel bait so give him a proper focus game w 9#Anyways now that that's out of the way. My worstie sawashiro does indeed become a party member.#His moveset is mostly blade damage w some blunt damage mixed in. YES I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT GAME MECHANICS#His singular elemental move is him flicking a cigarette at the enemy. Yes this is based off of that one scene w ichi in 7#ANYWAYS I HAVE MANY IDEAS I CANT TYPE THEM ALL OUT RN BUT. FAMILY VACATION ARC. PLEASE#ITS INSANE TO ME HOW KASUGA 'I LOVE MY FAMILY' ICHIBAN WAS NOT ALLOWED TO PROPERLY INTERACT W HIS FAMILY???#AND THE MAJORITY OF SAWASHIROS CONFLICT INCLUDED CAST MEMBERS WHO DIDNT GIVE A SINGLE SHIT ABOUT HIM????#I keep thinking back on that scene where ebina shows him passed out on that chair and THE INTENDED AUDIENCE FOR#THAT SCENE WAS AN OCEAN AWAY LIKE GIRL. WHAT WAS THE POINT???#well another perspective of that scene would be that sawashiro would be glad that ichi wasn't the one that came to rescue. which is. Misery#me when characters are defined by their guilt 💥💥💥💥😵💥💥💥😵💫💥💥💥😱💥💥💥💥😫💥💥💥#Well. If y'all read all these tags. thanks. If anyone is curious about this self indulgent au that I've created feel free to hit me up#(Please hit me up I'm desperate to talk abt the arakawa family misery and I deeply wish this game was even more miserable)#rgg#nile talks
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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday
#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it#just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life#might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol#and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie#well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either#but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start#i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp#this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one#but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea#i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh#but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though#i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together#i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already#i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed#and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document#that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester#can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though#well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh#and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all#well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol#goosepost
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the way one (1) small comment abt sth money-related will trigger my financial anxiety so hard that I'll spiral for several days
#tf when u realize you'll probably always struggle financially just bc of what u were born into!#i thought it'd get better once i work#but now i have to pay for all of this apartment stuff which means i'll basically have to start over w saving money#& i'll have to pay a shit ton back for student loans in two years!#and when i got student loans i couldn't save up that much money either bc if i had a certain amount of savings#my student loan would've been cut!#it's all so fucked that ppl w lesser incomes are basically always doomed to have little income#i'm! stressed#i just want to go on vacation once#i thought i could bext year but w the way things are looking rn i'll have to spend another two years w/o ever going on vacation#funnnnnn
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(Forgive the formatting of the video, I can’t figure out how to or even if I can fix it)
Anyway! I feel vindicated for my belief that Martin playing for Real Sociedad and living in San Sebastián is an important connective thread between the two of them.
Also the way Mikel says “Good answer, Martin,” about Spain being a good vacation destination fucking killed me. It was so funny and I can’t quite articulate why. This whole video is great though. Top comment on YouTube is just proof that everyone can see what the tumblr and AO3 people can:
#martin ødegaard#mikel arteta#like looking in a mirror#trying to figure out if Martin is just going along with Arteta or if they’re really just so likeminded#i get that the video is an ad for the emirates airline#and the bits where they talk about flying first class and vacationing all these places kinda were like unintentionally I think reminders of#how rich they are#god footballers get paid so much money how do we get them to be paid less I think it’s necessary#and like. club transfers need to come way down in dollar amount pound amount euro amount etc#that wasn’t my point initially but here we are now#and I don’t remember what I was trying to say to start#for the record I think all sports and athletes should have less money involved#not just football specifically though it might be one of the worst offenders idk it’s the sport I’m most invested in I haven’t done a study
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guess who got hit by a bike in london today
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Lisbon, Portugal (2023)
#I was in Taipei yesterday morning#Bangkok yesterday afternoon#London yesterday night/early this morning#and now I’m in Lisbon#I’m so out of it in every conceivable way it’s not even funny#(trying very hard not to think about how my course starts on the 2nd and I need to begin in the archives by the end of this week)#I love what I do and I especially love that I get to travel so much#but I’ve been living out of suitcases and on adrenaline for months#I don’t know what April/May me was thinking planning three straight months of travel/archive and language work in Europe and Asia#(plus a ‘vacation’ to see a friend in Bulgaria)#thay version of me was a psychotic b*tch#not the stones#me stuff#portugal#lisbon
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OOC.
just ate an all-you-can-eat buffet, had to dispute a bill, took the wrong bus, lost all my data, run in heels that i just bought and hurry home to finish a presentation i have to do tomorrow.
#♡. 「 ooc 」#its an understatement for me to say#that i feel sick#i feel NAUSEOUS#this is what happens when you keep procrastinating on a project#thank god i have a face mask on right now or else i might rlly lose it#im overstimulated stressed#and i got an exam on thursday but i have not studied for it#im just going on in there just with vibes.#because thats how tired i am.#my back hurts... i need a massage#and the thing is i cant fucking go home to indonesia this year bcos i have to redo some exams during the summer#and by the time my summer vacation can actually start#the tickets would be around 2000+ euros plus#for ONE WAY#my dad does NOT have that kind of money excuse u#so yes :DDD#this year is not my year#and deanie is angy
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🥹🫶🏻
#i thought Håvard was going to be a little annoyed that I spent a good chunk of my feriepenger on this but he’s not 😭#especially because we’re taking a summer vacation in like 2 weeks… I meantioned buying something via text and he didn’t ask questions but I#get worried when I think he’s worried#but he’s good… and we were talking about what would be involved in making these to sell and he was interested and supportive 🥹🥹#IMAGINE if I started earning money this way dhghfhdgdgf *can’t imagine it*
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The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.
#Journal shit#Ah yes the life i gave up to be a grunt 3D generalist working on the lowest of the low entertainment \o/#A lot of my friends here get mad at my dad for not being supportive#And i myself get frustrated at him for being insulting about my general life failure#But like....he has a point#I dont think he needed to treat me like yesterdays trash over it but#He was right i probably should have taken a programming job#But poor dad he got saddled with a child who is stubborn and tragically not financially motivated like at all#I mean he is the exact same damn way i feel like my dad forgets that it was just me and him for four years there#I saw how he lived without certain influences and he did not give a crap about status or money or fancy things#It wasnt until the rich bitch came along and started making him like...update his furniture every few years because *style*#and making him buy new designer coats every year so he doesn't embarrass himself in front of the other volleyball parents#Im just saying prior to the introduction of Steves Wife to our family these things just didnt exist to us#It does greatly entertain me that Steves Wife is not allowed to come to the ohio farm because everybody agreed that she just...#Could Not Handle The Poor#Anyway thats my dads idea of a vacation going to visit grandma on the farm this summer#And two guesses he and grandma will just sit around reading and doing puzzles and watching tennis#Pretty much exactly what i did when i went on vacation to visit her#I want to ask my dad if you think i am a failure what do you think of yourself i am exactly fucking like you for better or worse#Well i mean except i also did a lot of drawing of hockey players and grandma would lean over my shoulder#Saying things like *he looks like a nice young man*#yes grandma and he also racks up the penalty minutes like you wouldnt believe
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But what if I've felt like I'm too traumatized to have friends, practically since I was born?
#ptsd#cptsd#being afab and constsntly yelled at for everything especially my autistic traits#being given away and given up on like a puppy that ppl view as an object#never living anywhere longer than a year a constant chsnging school environment#never knowing where i was going to be next year or what foster family I'll get this time#foster parents were shitty towards me#ive been kicked while i was already down so many times. every big life trauma from kidnapping to csa to best friend passing away#people used my brother passing away as a reason to leave me? because they did fucking nothing and although i never pointed it out#they knew it. they abandoned both of us and saw one die and then abandoned me too#ive literally never done anything but stand up for them and k myself for them and im tired of finding people#who say they can love me and they treat me like i don't exist. oh im not your vacation friend. or your craft friend.. or holiday friend..#i just feel like this is the rest of my life#and i feel truly alone and i haven't known how to cope. i don't know anyone else who spent their entire childhood in foster care and hospita#and the people i did know are in a different place than me as in violent and acting out and refuse to process things#last time i felt like this i started acting in a way i didn't like- not violent but just in a way i didn't like.#i feel like the only way to avoid reverting back is to isolate#personal#vent
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i have exactly one million questions.
#sea of gatan on betazed woah.....#five years means they hadnt separated yet (at least if you go by 12 and not 5 or 6 like b'elanna says sometimes.)#was it a family vacation? did miral take her alone?#im crafting a narrative unfortunately. miral takes her to get away for a little bit because john is becoming a little bit insufferable#and she immediately almost drowns and its literally the worst vacation of mirals life. <- she cant catch a break#or maybe they have a good time and they don't fight much yet and they're like woohoo family trip to betazed#and b'elanna almost drowns and THEN its the worst day ever for the both of them. :)#or maybe not. so many possibilities#also it must have been a public place? must have been very overwhelming for the people around them to hear the- panic and the grief#the relief after of course.#miral dont tell your father you almost drowned torres#diary#interesting that she waited until she almost died to tell her about stovokor it seems like. something you would start young- though#five is very young but i know religious couples that start younger than this#i once read a fic where miral wasnt- where it was like an issue that miral was so into the klingon religion when b'elanna was growing up#because she hadn't always been that way. it makes me do the math and like-#l'naan is dead during b'elanna's childhood because in prophecy she says that she used to pray for her grandmother when kohlar asks about it#anyway the implication was that she hadn't been so religious when she met john and its like okay my mommy died on me and my daughter#almost drowned and my husband is trying to make me and her into something that is not. What I'm Used To. lets find a crutch#and put claw marks in it! collapses
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Sharing a Thursday inbox call today! Please give this post a like for a short prompt, headcanon ask, or something from a recent meme you've shared. For IC prompts or muses you'd like to specifically focus on HCs for, please specify muse in the comments if you're a multi.
I plan on sending these after I return home from work today and will be reblogging this periodically throughout the day.
#more-than-a-princess inbox call#(Depending on what I get back between today-Sunday I may share another meme too)#(But I will be holding off on starter calls until I'm back and caught up after my vacation hiatus next week)#(If you'd like to start a thread: this inbox call + memes are the best way to do so until then!)
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