#A lot of my friends here get mad at my dad for not being supportive

[freebooter4ever]

The tech guys are hanging out in my office again and chatting about $10,000 week long vacations like this is normal.

[sinofwriting]

Homecoming - Oscar Piastri/Reader/Logan Sargeant

Words: 3,290 Summary: She hasn’t seen them since April and she can only hope that they aren’t mad that she lied to them. Note(s): Thank you @casperlikej for this commission! Had a lot of fun writing it! NSFW. Takes place in 2023. Reader is in the military. Reader is an American, who also somewhat grew up in the UK, but it’s all very vague. Also, don’t surprise people in showers, injuries can and will happen. Read Part Two Here

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“I’m sorry.” She apologizes. “It’s okay, baby.” Logan says. Oscar nods, but there’s worry in his eyes. “Is everything okay?” She nods, “yeah, they just gave me the wrong date. It wasn’t until I was talking to my CO about leaving that they realized. I should’ve said something sooner.” “It happens.” Oscar tells her and she can see through the computer screen the way his fingers twitch, obviously wanting to reach out, and her heart aches.

She misses them so much, both her boys. Hasn’t seen them since April when China got canceled and they both managed to get away from their teams to see her. But she hasn’t really seen them since last year, since 2022, when Oscar was just a reserve and Logan was in F2 with their weird spotty schedule. They didn’t have as many race dates or things to attend. They had spent so much time with her then.

“Do they have your next date for leave?” She shakes her head. “Not yet. I think they’re trying to figure out how they gave me the wrong date.” She shrugs. “But it could mean I get some extra time.” Oscar snorts but Logan nods. “You’ll let us know as soon as you can?” “Of course, Lo. As soon as they tell me, I’ll text you. Have a good day, though, both of you.” Both their noses wrinkle but they nod.

And with I love you’s exchanged, she hangs up, looking at the packed suitcase next to her. Hopefully they wouldn’t be too mad that she lied.

—

Being in the military wasn’t exactly something she planned on. Not as a little girl, not as a preteen and not at fifteen when she discovered she liked both her best friends.

But then she was seventeen wanting to apply to different colleges and programs and her parents had to sit down and tell her that while they had this nice house and the family home in Florida and cars and she hadn’t really wanted for anything, that was all they had. They didn’t have enough money for her to apply to three colleges, let alone the near twenty she wanted to.

It had been a fight instantly. Because she didn’t know what she wanted to do. And for the past year they had been telling her that it was okay and that she’d have college to figure that out and it had been a lie. She remembers throwing things in a bag and going to Oscar’s brand-new place, because he was already eighteen and his parents wanted him to be comfortable.

She remembers throwing herself in his arms and then Logan’s because of course Logan was also there. Remembers crying because it kind of felt like her world was ending. She remembers the way they both had soothed her, held her, let her rage and sob. She remembers the way after when she was more calmed down, the shock gone from her system, they presented a bunch of options for her.

Working with them, working for Oscar’s dad, working for Logan’s uncle, doing this in college and that, just something, anything that sounded appealing and she can remember how she shook her head after every option and how despite that they didn’t get frustrated or angry, they just said okay before offering another until they ran out of things to offer.

It was her uncle, though he wasn’t really her uncle, that told her she should think about the military. She laughed at first thinking he was joking, but he hadn’t laughed with her, instead looked at her seriously.

“You know that I served.” And she had nodded, she had faint memories of being in elementary school or even younger back in Florida and seeing him in uniform, medals and ribbons on his chest. “And you know I’ve said a lot about it. Never kept quiet.” “Rock and a hard place.” He smiled for a second at her words before looking all serious again. “Exactly. What I’m saying is, it’s an option. And nowadays, your contracts aren’t as long depending on the branch like when I enlisted and I’ve got friends.” “I don’t think I’ll like it.” He laughed at her words. “No one knows if they’ll like it until they are in it. Just think about it. It’s something and it will give you time, paid time, to figure out what you really want to do.”

And she had thought about it. She thought about the pros and the cons, how the cons outweigh the pros for her and she nearly didn’t go through with it because of Logan and Oscar. Because they just had to confess to her, tell her that they liked her, wanted to be with her and how could she not tell them the same when it was true? She couldn’t. She had nearly called it good, happy to bounce between them playing personal assistant or social media admin or something, they didn’t really know what she’d do going back and forth, but then she saw her uncle again, a week before she turned eighteen.

He hadn’t said anything, hadn’t brought it up, hadn’t even mentioned the military. But just seeing him reminded her of their conversation, of the way she spent hours upon hours after considering it.

Seeing him made her realize she had to go through with it.

She doesn’t really remember telling Logan and Oscar her decision. She remembers how they reacted, both surprised, unaware she had been considering it. Logan had been understanding, but he was from America just like her, he had family in the service. Oscar didn’t understand, couldn’t understand why. It hadn’t been a fight, not that she remembered, but she knew that her decision had nearly broken them that day.

—

“You reenlisting?” Her uncle's voice is gruff. “No, sir.” He grumbles, lips twitching into a smile. “Good. And don’t call me sir. You in reserves now?” She nods. “As of last week.” “Logan and Oscar know?” She throws him a look. “Why would you be driving me to Vegas if they knew?” He laughs. “Fair. They’re doing good, right? In their Formula One thing?” She smiles, “Yeah, they’re doing alright. Did you like COTA?” He shrugs, merging onto the freeway. “Didn’t understand it, but it was alright. Beer was overpriced.” “Always is at events.” “I remember when you could get a six-pack,” he starts and she mouths along with him, having heard this since she was ten, unable to not smile as she does so. “What?” He asks, seeing her smile. “Nothing.” She tells him. “Just happy to see you haven’t changed.”

—

Vegas is annoying, she decides as she waves her uncle off, the older man having decided to stick around and try his luck at one of the casinos. Or rather the traffic currently in Vegas is annoying.

Pulling out her phone she texts Benny letting him know that she’s at the hotel. Looking around she smiles at all the lights and people milling around. She’d give Vegas this, it was pretty cool to look at.

“Y/N!” She turns her head, smiling at Logan’s trainer. “You got here early!” He chuckles, pulling her into a hug that she returns with one arm, still having a hand on her suitcase. “We made good time. Switched off driving, so saved us a bit from having to stop really.” He pats her on the back before letting her go. “But it was good.” She nods. “All good. How are you? How are the kids?” He grins. “They’re good, amazing, really. Excited that the season is ending and I’ll be home.” “Logan was telling me that you aren’t going to be his trainer next season.” Benny sighs, looking sad as they step foot into the hotel. “The kids are getting older, I want to be there more. If there was a way I could stay on, but not have to go to all the races I would. I love the kid, he’s like one of mine.”

She looks at him considering. She’d been around Logan and Oscar for ten years now, had been around their trainers for over five years, seeing what they did had made it easy for her to choose her degree that the military paid for while she served a year after she joined.

“Maybe you could.” His eyebrow raises. “I have a degree in sports medicine.” “But you have a year left.” She shakes her head. “That last year is reserves, unless we are going to war and all the active reserves have been called, I’m not going back in.” “Logan didn’t say.” “They don’t know.” Benny makes a weird huff sound, shaking his head. “You're going to knock them off their feet this weekend.” She laughs. “Maybe. Just talk to Sarah about it first, I’ll follow you around this weekend and next and we can talk about it with Logan.” “I don’t have to talk about it with Sarah, she’d be thrilled, she wasn’t fond of the idea in the first place. And Logan…” He shakes his head. “If you think Logan won’t be jumping at the idea of having you around twenty-four seven, you’ve lost it.” “Still! Talk about it with Sarah first, just in case.”

He shakes his head, but agrees, handing her a key card as they stop in front of a hotel room door. “This is their room. Gentle with them.” “Kim ask you to relay that message as well?” “Yes.” She laughs, nodding. “I will. Promise.” He rolls his eyes, but there’s a grin on his face. “Go. I’ll see at least two of you tomorrow.” “Bye Benny. Thank you again for helping me.” “Of course.”

She watches as he walks down the hallway before taking out his own key card and entering his hotel room, just a few rooms down. Turning back to face the hotel room door, excitement starts to fill her. She was finally going to see them, be with them.

Pressing the key to the reader, she holds her breath as she waits for the door to unlock, breathes again when it does and she twists the door knob, letting herself in.

The door swings open quietly and her feet and suitcase make no noise against the carpet as she steps inside. There’s the faint sound of the shower running and music playing, and a large smile spreads across her lips. This was the routine she was used to, that hadn’t changed. Them coming back to their hotel room or when finally checking in, getting what they needed put away if they were staying long enough and then putting on some music and hopping in the shower.

The door closes with a small click as she shuts it, kicking off her shoes next to Oscar’s and Logan’s as she does. She hopes as she puts her suitcase next to Logan’s, that the shower is big enough for the three of them, but they’ve made do with some fairly small showers before.

Stepping further into the hotel room, she nearly giggles at the song playing, able to hear it clearly now with the way the bathroom door isn’t completely closed. She loves them so much.

Spotting the dirty clothes bag she bought Oscar for Christmas last year as a stock stuffer, right by the bathroom door, propped against the wall and already filled with a pair of jeans, shorts, shirts and socks, she adds her own pants, shirt, underwear and socks. A quiet sigh leaving her when she takes her bra off, which she carefully places on the back of an armchair.

The bathroom tiles are warm underneath her feet and she lets out a little oh, having expected them to be cold.

Her eyes dart to the sink where the large mirror behind is covered in steam, but her eyes quickly leave it to settle on the shower.

It’s big, maybe just big enough for the three to fit in, but she can’t focus on that because Oscar and Logan are there. She can’t see much, the glass of the shower just as covered in steam as the mirror, but she can see the shapes of their bodies, close together, holding each other as the water hits them.

Taking a deep breath, she steps towards the shower door. She shivers as her fingertips press against the glass before fingers move to open it and poking her head in, voice soft as she looks at them. “Room for one more?” She watches as they separate, Oscar turning to look at her, and they both look at her with confusion and shock, before wide smiles take over their entire faces, eyes shining with happiness.

Oscar the closer of the two reaches forward and she quickly steps in, nearly slipping in her hurry, but Oscar has an arm around her before she can, tucking her into his chest, as Logan shuffles around. The door to the shower closes with a slight noise before his arms are around her as well.

Tension immediately leaves her body at the feeling of them both, and tears start to slip from her eyes. “I missed you guys so much.” “We missed you too, baby.” “So much.” Oscar echoes, arms tightening around her before loosening and she’s being pulled away slightly. She wants to protest, but then his lips are on hers and she moans, sinking into his kiss.

“Lo,” she whines when Oscar stops kissing her, lips tingling. Oscar chuckles, the sound rich and so familiar it wants to make her cry again, but she’s being turned around and Logan is kissing her, his palms cupping her cheeks. “I missed this so much.” Logan breathes against her lips. “Missed the three of us so much.” “Never again.” She tells him, tells Oscar, tells them. “Never again. I don’t have to go back, I’m in inactive reserves and I’m not reenlisting. I’m yours, both of yours.” The words come out in a rush, nearly tripping over each other, but she can’t wait, can’t have them thinking that this will just be a short reunion before she has to leave them again. “Thank god.” Logan breathes before pressing their lips together. “Thank god.” He murmurs again when they separate before she’s turned around to face Oscar again, who practically swallows her whole.

His lips are insistent on hers as his hands clutch at her hips, fingers digging painfully and she hopes that he leaves bruises, wishes that he’d make his grip even tighter, knows he can. She tries to pull away, to ask him to, but he keeps following her lips. Like if he isn’t kissing her, she’ll disappear, so she stops trying. Lets him kiss her, moans when Logan’s lips land on her shoulder, pressing kisses that trail up to the top of it and along the shell of her ear before trailing back down.

“We,” she gasps when Oscar finally stops kissing her, though his lips instead fall to her breasts going between the two, unable to decide which one he wants to give attention to more. “We can’t do this in here.”

The next moments are a blur as they scramble out of the shower, out of the bathroom and tumble into bed, soaking the duvet, pillows, and sheets with their wet naked bodies. It’s a blur of lips on hers, on her body, of fingers pressing and pulling. She remembers clearly the first press of fingers into her body, of Oscar’s tongue laving at her, of the kiss Logan and Oscar shared between her thighs. It blurs with her first and second orgasm.

She remembers clearly as well, the first sink of Oscar’s cock into her, her back to his chest as he laid down, the way he pressed all the way into her, not letting her adjust. She doesn’t remember the apparent fumble for lube or the first two fingers that Logan had carefully sunk into her alongside Oscar’s cock. She remembers the stretch of his three fingers and Oscar’s cock, and finally the stretch of him sinking into her as well. The near painful stretch of having both of them inside her at the same time, in the same hole.

Her mind is still blurry, still coming down from pleasure when they finally break the silence of just trying to catch their breaths and music still playing from the bathroom.

“That was so good.” She makes a small noise in agreement. “You felt so good.” Oscar says, kissing her shoulder and she shudders at the feeling. “You both did.” And she can hear the sound of Oscar kissing Logan. “Logan’s gonna hold you now, okay.” Oscar tells her as she still lays somewhat on top of him. “Both of your legs are shaking.” That makes her blink and look down, swallowing hard because she hadn’t even realized hers were shaking. “And I need to clean you up and get some water for all us, okay?” She nods.

Despite him telling her that, she still nearly whines when he moves out from under her, but he quickly pushes her into Logan’s arms who eagerly holds her close. She hadn’t seen if his legs were shaking as well like Oscar said, but she doubts it with the way Logan manages to turn her around in his arms and pull her so she’s on top of him, her breasts pressed against his chest just the way he likes.

“Love you so much, baby.” Logan murmurs into her hair. “You were so good for us. Just fell apart over and over again. Gave us five orgasms.” She makes a surprised sound. That didn’t sound right. “A whole five, baby. It was fucking amazing.” She nuzzles into his neck and he continues speaking, knowing the sound and feeling is soothing.

He stops when Oscar comes back, making a tutting noise at how they are positioned which makes her mumble Logan’s name and Oscar runs a hand down her calf.

“I know, darling. You’re alright. You though,” and she can picture the way Oscar is looking at Logan, pointing a finger at him. “How am I supposed to clean you up?” She feels Logan shrugs as best as he can with her on top of him. “The way you usually do.” The younger makes a huffing sound but is quiet. She can feel his breath against her leg as he most likely bends.

Logan makes a small noise and she kisses his neck. “Cold?” “No, it’s warm.” He reassures her. She hums and when it’s her turn she doesn't even jolt at the feeling of the washcloth running over her most sensitive parts and her thighs. “Alright, you two, you both got to sit up to drink some water.” Oscar says, as he climbs back into bed with them. Logan grumbles and she turns her head to watch as Oscar gets comfy with his back against the headboard, three water bottles on his nightstand.

He’s still naked, probably not even thinking of pulling on underwear or sweats on and it makes her want to curl up in his lap. He seems to feel her eyes on him because he smiles, all soft, sweet, fond and he’s opening his arms and she carefully moves off Logan to do what she thought about it.

Her head rests on his shoulder, as she sits sideways on his lap, facing Logan, who watches them both with that awestruck look of his as he sits up and scoots closer until him and Oscar are sitting side by side and he can draw her feet into his lap, stilling letting her stay curled up in Oscar’s lap, but getting some contact with her.

“Love you both.” “We love you too.”

@darleneslane @copper-boom @eutrizbea @kimmib13 @elliegrey2803 @stopeatread @hiireadstuff @tallrock35

[creedslove]

WHO KNEW? 💍💔

No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader

"You took my hand, you showed me how

You promised me you'd be around (...)

I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)

If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong

I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

Summary: You and Joel had been married for a few months when he broke things up with you because he'd fallen in love with someone else, Sarah's mom. You parted ways but more than a decade later you end up meeting Sarah and that leads you to face your ex-husband one more time

• Inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request ❤️

Warnings: angst, broken hearts, asshole!Joel, divorce, infidelity, pregnancy, fluff (a little, maybe?) age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want)

A/N: Hi guys!!! I got obsessed with this story ever since I received that ask and turned into a headcanon but it wasn't enough, I had to write a longer, fuller version of this story! I think it's so appealing because we are all used to Joel being our knight in shining armor, always the perfect husband/boyfriend and well, here we can see another part of him. It's not a crime to fall in love with someone else, but the way he broke reader's heart was very mean. Also, I didn't specify reader's profession, just keep in mind she studied A LOT and now she makes good money, but feel free to idealize her job the way you want. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, besties ❤️

10.6k words

You never really understood why some people told you getting married so young would be a mistake. It didn't make sense to you, at all. You and your soon-to-be husband Joel, were young, yes, but you loved each other deeply. You figured it didn't take much more than that to make a happy marriage.

You were fresh from highschool, always had good grades and it didn't take long for you to be accepted in many different institutions, and yet, you decided it would be a good idea to take a sabbatical year in order to get yourself sorted out, maybe get a job and save up some money and enjoy your marriage a little. Joel was very supportive of you, even if he knew you would eventually leave for college and you would both have to make it work long distance.

Joel was just a couple of years older, he'd just left the military and he also needed to know what to do in life, in order to support his wife, he didn't have the book smarts his girl did, but he was kind-hearted and hard-working. He also hadn't planned on getting married that young, but before he could even try to make any sense out of it, he was deeply in love with you.

So Joel proposed, you said yes, his dad helped him get a small, but cute house and the two of you started your new wed life.

For the first few months, everything was a bed of roses; you were so in love, that man was simply intoxicating. His touches, his kisses, his body, his smell, everything about him was addictive to you and you couldn't be without it.

You had found yourself a part time job as a sales clerk at a baby clothes store at the mall, just as Joel was working as an apprentice in the construction business, it was a very hard job, and just in a matter of a couple of months, you saw your boyfriend becoming bigger and more muscular. He worked hard for you, for your relationship, your marriage and the future family you would build in a couple of years. Even if your friends had told you it was madness getting married so young and your family had asked you not to do it, everything was just fine, what could go wrong?

Every single day, Joel would come back home, tired from work, and he would be welcomed by you in your fullest housewife version. Dinner all ready, house spotless clean and a loving wife dying to be in his arms. He would not disappoint you, taking you into his arms, lifting you up, pressing you against the wall, his kisses were so urgent, so needy of you, his hands roamed all over your body as you felt his cock throbbing. Every night next to your handsome husband Joel was a delight, it was your personal piece of heaven, nothing could stop the two of you when you were together, but eventually, it happened.

You didn't know exactly how it started, or when for that matter, it was all a thick fog in your mind, being unable to say precisely when your marriage began falling apart. Perhaps it happened sooner than you thought but you were just too naive or too blind to see; first thing you noticed, were the kisses; they were gone. No kissing before going to work in the morning but you shrugged it off, thinking that maybe Joel was just in a rush to get to work. Though you really missed them, your skin seemed to burn and ache for his touch, you didn't want to seem like a clingy wife, or nag him with unimportant things. Whenever he came back from work, he was still all yours; that's why it took you long enough to notice it.

Every evening, he came back with the same hunger he felt, only this time, he didn't seem to have felt that hunger for you per se, more like a desire within that needed to have you to help him relieve it.

He took you every single night, he gave you pleasure, simple, raw, indifferent pleasure. You didn't actually remember the last time you actually made love, because everytime Joel touched you, he always had you on your hands and knees for him, always fucking you on your back. At the time you thought it was just some kink or something like that, but now it was pretty clear to you it was just the easiest way for Joel to close his eyes and pretend you were someone else.

It was just simply fucking, a means to get to an end.

Then, he began getting home later and later, sometimes he would be too late for dinner, or he would just skip it entirely. Never explaining exactly what he was doing or why he was spending less and less time at home.

"Sorry babe, just had a sandwich with the guys"

That's what he would say before shrugging and going straight to the bedroom; not taking his time to actually see you'd cooked his favorite or that you were starving because you'd waited for him until that hour. The weekends weren't different at all, at first, right after you two got married, you'd spend the entire day in bed, just enjoying each other's company, each other's bodies and love; caresses full of affection carried with lust, turned into nothing more than just a memory some months later. Every weekend Joel simply got up, had breakfast and told you he was heading for work; and he would spend the entire day there, no phone calls to let you know he wouldn't be back for lunch nor calls to tell you he would grab a few drinks with the guys.

Always the guys, and as much as you tried to convince yourself it was indeed just one drink, or a burger, or a soccer match with the guys, your heart was sending you signals, trying to warn you there was something seriously wrong. Yet, you chose not to believe it, you told yourself it was actually kind of cruel of you to have such thoughts about your poor hard-working husband. What kind of wife would you be if you became paranoid while Joel was just working hard to provide you a good life?!

Joel was so busy with his work he barely even noticed when you asked for a double shift on Saturdays. Not that you liked working at the mall, but if you were going to stay alone all the time, you figured you would at least earn some money. Maybe Joel was just stressed about having to put up with the bills all by himself, you reminded yourself. Perhaps things would be back at what they were in the beginning, you were now marking six months of marriage and you knew this wasn't supposed to be happening. Your husband wasn't supposed to be that uninterested in you, he wasn't supposed to be indifferent towards your presence or so ungrateful, and yet you decided to fight for his love, after all, you loved him more than anything, more than anyone, it was an overwhelming feeling but you simply couldn't move on from it.

You waited for Joel another night, you'd made dinner, but of course he said he wasn't very hungry because he had grabbed a bite to eat with the guys.

Your heart clenched, he didn't kiss you, nor held you, it was like you were two different people sharing the same house; not lovers, not husband and wife, perhaps not even friends anymore. It felt each time more and more empty next to Joel, but you tried. You sat down and had dinner on your own, as he glued himself to the TV, watching whatever it was on. You knew him enough to know his mind was drifting away, thinking of something or someone, you weren't sure, the only thing you were a hundred percent sure was that he did everything at his willpower so he wouldn't have to spend time with you. It hurt, like a knife piercing through your chest, it was humiliating and you still didn't know why you were insisting. You swallowed after dinner and walked to the couch, he was nearly asleep and you ran your hands through his hair, feeling how soft his curls were; you had missed dearly times like that, it had been only a few months prior and yet, it felt like an eternity. The way your Joel would come to you, crave your touch, and just overall pay attention to you, unlike the haunting reality that you had to face, in which your husband simply began to ignore you, as if you weren't much more than a shadow, or an invisible and yet quite annoying presence. You looked down at his sleepy and peaceful form, he always looked so young and innocent when he slept it always warmed your heart.

The tip of your fingers ran through his scalp once more, he had always loved that particular display of affection. Minutes passed while you stroked his hair, you could feel Joel shifting softly under your touch, satisfied groans coming out like purrs as he began to slowly open his eyes

"Angela.." he murmured under his breath, but it was loud enough for you to catch it.

At that moment you felt as if you'd lost all balance, gripping the couch and staring at him in disbelief

"Who's Angela?" Your voice suddenly loud and serious, making Joel snap away from the sleeping haze he was in and stare into your eyes. He was carefully not to give it away immediately

"What are you talking about?" He got up from the couch, determined to turn his back to you

"You said a name. Angela, who's she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Y/N, stop being crazy"

Your blood boiled at the accusation.

For months all you did was try to be the perfect housewife, you cooked, cleaned, worked and brought home the little money you made in order to win back your husband's attention, not only that, you didn't want to have to give away to everyone who told you you would be making a mistake by marrying so young. It had been so difficult to actually admit to yourself your marriage was at a risk, and now you just had enough proof. After months of indifference, your husband was now mumbling another woman's name; as if it wasn't bad enough, he was trying to make the tables turn by accusing you of being crazy. That was so typical of men, but not of your Joel, you thought he would never do that, you were so sure he was honest, honorable, a decent human being, he wouldn't hurt you on purpose in order to prove his point. Or so you thought.

"Don't you fucking dare call me crazy, Joel Miller, for the past couple of months you haven't given a shit about me, you're never home, you never spend time with me, you don't hug me, don't kiss me, you don't even fuck me anymore, and now you are mumbling someone else's name? Who's she? Is she your mistress? How long have you been with her?"

Again, you tried being strong, you really did, but your voice cracked, and the tears threatening to escape now ran freely down your cheeks, he'd walked away from you, but you managed to corner him in the kitchen, you were tired of being blinded by your own feelings, at the same time you were tired of being played by Joel, he had no right to act that way.

"Answer me, Joel!!! Who's the fucking whore?!" You yelled at him, the impatience and anxiety creating an explosive combination inside of you. You were so close to solving the mystery that haunted you at the same time you didn't wanna hear any further word. You just wished you could close your eyes and make all that away, you wish you could just wake up and see the last couple of months were nothing but a nightmare and that you still had the same good old loving Joel Miller as the best husband in the world; instead, he simply groaned, rubbing his face and looked down, not having the courage of look at you in the eyes.

"She's not a whore, don't call her that. I-We.. we're in love. I met her at work, she's the receptionist there and we hit it off… she's gorgeous, funny and I fell for her" he swallowed not sure where the strength to be honest with you about his feelings was coming from, but it was enough to make eye contact "I've never cheated on you, Y/N, I haven't slept with her yet, I haven't even kissed her, but I think she's the one, I wanna be with her, I'm not gonna lie to you anymore"

"You don't love me anymore?" That was all you could ask, out of all the cruel and raw information he suddenly threw on you, the only thing you could register was the lack of feelings from the man who swore to love you forever one day.

"Jesus, Y/N, let's not do this now" he groaned, wanting to shift all that anger towards you, somehow blaming you for what happened so he wouldn't be consumed by his own guilt. He wasn't blind, he knew you loved him, he knew you waited at the door for him every single day, with dinner ready a pie in the oven and giving you those sad, heart eyes in hopes of receiving his affection once more. You reminded him of a puppy, as bad as it sounded, all it took you to be happy was a crumble of his love. What angered Joel was that you weren't satisfied with just crumbles, you wanted more and more from him, and he was unavailable; he simply couldn't give it to you, because his heart belonged to someone else. He hadn't planned on that happening, if it were up to him, he would've honored the vows he took on his wedding day, but Angela walked into his life without a warning and swept him off his feet. He couldn't stay with you out of pity, you deserved to be happy and so did you, but you weren't meant to be together.

"Do you love me or not, Joel?! Did you even love me?" Another grunt from his lips, you were so frustrated you didn't know how to rationalize, how to wrap your head around the fact he proposed to you, he had promised you the world and yet now he was treating you as if you had never mattered to him. His cowardice made you sick, he wasn't even man enough to look you in the eyes, you felt so angry a part of you was glad his body blocked your access to the silverware set because if you got your hands into it you knew at that moment you were willing to make a mistake. You gripped his shirt, slapping his chest and scratching him in a sloppy way, demanding answers from him. He could stop you at any moment, Joel was bigger and stronger than you, but he let you have your moment of hurting him out of pity, before calming gripping your arms and pushing you away

"I guess it's obvious I don't love you anymore, I love Angela, it's not my fault, it just happened, but I'm sure I want to be with her, you and I can't keep lying to ourselves, you can't keep lying to yourself, we're over, just as the love I felt from you, it's over…"

•••

You didn't remember much more after that. Some flashes of the following days, where the initial shock was still going strong, the waves of sadness mixed with anger, how Joel gathered some of his clothes and left the house that same night - probably to go to Angela's, how you refused to eat for the couple of days, you didn't talk to anyone, just spent your time alternating between crying yourself to sleep and actually sleeping, were just moments of blur. At some point you remember Tommy - Joel's brother checking up on you just to make sure you were alright. Tommy was the youngest of the Miller brothers, he was said to be the inconsequential one, but he would never do what his older brother had done.

Only after a few days Joel stopped by the house you once had shared, he had heard from his brother the pitiful mess you'd become because of him, and though a part of him didn't have the courage to ever face you again, another part - a more honorable one - insisted on it because he had to give you some kind of explanation. So after work, he didn't drive to Angela's like he'd been doing for the last few days, becoming his sweet routine and bringing so much joy now that he was free to love her just as much as she wanted to love him. Instead of going to his happy place, Joel drove back to the house that used to be his home for a while, a place where he'd been happy but it hadn't been enough for him. It was funny how he expected things to be drastically different, because his life had taken a dramatic turn just as yours had, and yet, things were just the same, or they appeared to be at least. He got off his truck, seeing that not a lot had changed, but this time there wasn't music coming from the house, it didn't smell like fresh cooked dinner, simply the living room with the lights on were the only thing that showed there was still someone in the house.

When he walked in, he expected to see you crying, depressed and begging him to get back, but much to his surprise, all your bags were already nearly packed and though it was visible you'd had some rough time by dark circles under your eyes and how pale your skin was, you welcomed him with a emotionless expression on your face, pointing at the couch, so he would take a seat and you could talk things through. After all the crying and suffering, you felt as if something had clicked and suddenly you went from heartbroken to numb. You knew the swirl of feelings would come and go, but taking advantage of your numbness, you put your head into place as best as you could and packed all your things, you didn't want to stay at that place surrounded by Joel memories, knowing he'd left the place you once called home and you were both so happy and also so unhappy in a short span of time. You wanted to put yourself back together, heal from him, forget he ever existed, go back to studying and focus on yourself only. But for that to happen, you wanted closure, not only wanting, you needed closure.

His low apologies combined with the rambling that came out of Joel's mouth was getting on your nerves, why couldn't he man up and actually tell you what he needed to in order to finally close that chapter in your lives.

"If you're not getting straight to the point, I will, Joel… I packed my bags, I am leaving this house, it's yours, your family managed to help you with it and I wouldn't feel comfortable living here. I'll go to college as soon as the next semester starts and I'll be waiting for the divorce papers, sign it as soon as possible, and pretend this never happened"

"Wait… what?! You want to divorce?!" Joel was quite shocked, not that he didn't want to divorce, because he did, so he could finally be officially with Angela, but he didn't think it would be that easy for you to agree, let alone be the one suggesting it.

You laughed. It was a dry, ironic laughter, because honestly, you didn't think Joel was that much of a dick, it was fascinating how he broke your heart and he still found a way to have his ego bruised by the fact you wouldn't accept being in a submission position, that you wouldn't cry and beg for him.

"What did you expect Joel?! That I would stay here, legally married to you, cooking and washing your dirty underwear while you go out of the door and keep cheating on me with that whore? Seriously? That's how low you think of me?"

"I already told you she isn't a whore and I have never cheated on you, that's why I want to divorce, us getting married was clearly a mistake and it's not my fault if I don't love you anymore.."

"So whose fault is it? Mine?! Do you really think what you did isn't cheating, Joel? Just because you hadn't fucked her while we were still together, but you had spent time with her, emotionally connected with her, fuck, just the fact you let her get closer to you even though you were married, that's cheating! You say it isn't because you don't want to feel guilty, but deep down inside you just know it is! I agree with you on one thing, though: our marriage was a stupid mistake, because of you I delayed a whole year of my life, I almost sacrificed my future because I really took your words and believed them, that we would be together, I never thought out of all the people in the world, you would be the one to hurt me! I trusted you, do you even know how many times I cried and sulked because I blamed myself for your behavior? The amount of times I felt guilty for even remotely considering the possibility of you having someone else? Because in my mind you'd always been the perfect husband and yet, you were backstabbing me day after day, with that slut!"

"Don't you fucking call her a slut! She's not a slut, she's not a whore! It's not her fault if you are a petty envious woman!"

"She is a slut Joel, I'm sure of it, because if she had any decency she wouldn't have come closer to a married man, my husband! She is probably excited about the thrill, but I'm certain that once the reality hits and she sees herself locked inside having to carry out chores everyday, take care of the house, the husband and even the kids if you two ever come to it, it's not gonna be as fun, and then you'll meet her for real. I don't wish you anything bad, but god help you if you ever have to face a disappointment as big as mine"

You dried your tears and began removing your wedding ring, it was quite pricey taking into account how complicated your financial situation was. You intended to return it to him, but the mere thought of maybe Joel taking the ring and handing it to his former mistress and soon-to-be official girlfriend, was enough to make you nauseated. You gave up removing it and left the ring right there.

"I'm leaving this place tomorrow, you can send the divorce papers over to my parents' and I hope I'll never see you again, Joel"

•••

You wished you could say that was the last time you ever saw Joel Miller in your life, but unfortunately, things weren't too easy for you. Only two months before you could finally enter college and forget about the disastrous year you had, you were working double shifts at the mall, in hopes of saving a decent amount of money for yourself. It was supposed to be another lazy evening, in which you would have to kill time until you could go home, you had just had your break and as you walked back into the store, you couldn't help but pay attention to your left hand. The wedding ring still there. It brought you shame and embarrassment, the mere fact you left it there. You often lied to people and to yourself by saying it was a way of keeping disrespectful customers away, but the truth was, you just didn't know why it was so hard to do it. It felt like a weight you couldn't get rid of, a part of your life that seemed like nothing but delusion.

You were scared of removing that ring, it was a sign that Joel wouldn't be much more than a memory to you, and even if you knew that was exactly what you needed, your heart still yearned for him. It wasn't fair, to still love the person who had hurt you the most, burying deep those feelings but also knowing they were there was nerve wracking.

You were ready to get back to work, just about to enter the store you were so used to spending your whole day when you felt paralyzed.

"What do you think of this one, darling? Do you think our baby will like it?"

It was Joel's voice.

His voice.

Darling.

Our baby.

You stopped yourself right there, too far away from their distracted eyes, taking in all the colorful and beautiful options they had before them, but also close enough so you could actually hear the conversation. Joel Miller was going to be a dad, it was a fact, you weren't having a nightmare that you were about to wake up in cold sweat at any minute, instead, he was there, with her, the woman he dumped you for, the woman who was now carrying his child. Under the shelves you'd been hiding, you could only catch a glimpse of her baby bump, and the way Joel's hand rested over it in a protective way. It was enough to make your stomach upset, your eyes burning with the tears that once more insisted on appearing. He had moved on from you, much faster than you had moved on from him; their happiness could be beautiful to anyone, but to you it was disgusting, infuriating, they had no right to come to your place of work and be so glad about life itself.

You couldn't actually see Angela's face, all you were able to watch from where you stood was Joel's hand on her womb, his right one, but the moment he rested his left one on her waist, you gasped softly. The wedding ring was gone.

Joel wasn't feeling that comfortable about being at that particular store, though it was the only decent baby clothing store at the mall, he knew you worked there or at least used to; but Angela wanted new baby stuff and he was going to be a dad, so it was his duty to take her and help her sort things out. He thought of you, not having seen you or listened to your voice in months he sort of missed you? He couldn't lie to himself, he was glad to be divorced, he was happy in a relationship with a baby on the way, but you'd been important to him too, he wished things didn't have to end the way they did, he has gotten used to living with you, seeing you, kissing you, touching you, it was natural that he missed the dynamics you two had established. A part of him sort of wanted to run into you at the store, he wanted to see how you were doing, if you were taking good care of yourself, but it was a relief to everyone you weren't there. It would be just awkward and embarrassing to be baby clothes shopping in front of you. And of course, he never wanted to hurt you more than he had already done it, but you would have probably interpreted it as provocation.

He scratched down his head while Angela picked all her favorites, Joel tried hard not to pay attention to the price tags, money was still a delicate matter for the two of them, but he had managed to get some by selling his wedding ring. Of course the pair would've been worth a lot more, but he couldn't go after you to ask for your ring, so he just negotiated his own and took the money. It wasn't the ideal situation, but in a few months they'd welcome the tiny little person that would become the most important thing in Joel's life.

You were too hurt to continue watching their display of happiness, you turned your back to the place you were hiding and you returned to the small break room. That was indeed the last time you'd seen Joel Miller; that was it until you also met someone who brought chaos but also colors into your life.

•••

"Aren't you too old to sell cookies door to door for school?" Joel asked while chewing his scrambled eggs and slurped his coffee, watching as his daughter rolled her eyes at him

"Aren't you too old not to eat your vegetables?" She snapped back at him in their usual morning routine.

Sarah was a teenager, much to Joel's sadness, as he still had serious attachments to when she was younger. He knew it was part of life, and watching her blossoming into a beautiful young girl made him proud and hopeful about the future, he knew his sweet Sarah would go far. But that also made him scared, because no matter how irrational it was, Sarah always reminded him of you; and he knew that if any guy ever dared to do to his baby girl, what he did to you, he would be really to kill him in no time. Joel Miller would like to think he had improved a lot as a human being, after all, he wasn't a young man anymore, he was a full grown adult, who had to get himself together and mature after he was abandoned by his girlfriend with a newborn baby. Life was full of irony and he was one to witness it, being left by the woman he loved and trusted a little more than a year after he was the one who walked away from someone who loved and trusted him. It was what everyone said: karma is really a bitch.

Through the years, Joel really felt an urge to call you, perhaps ask you to meet him, so you could catch up and he could finally apologize to you, but he had lost all contact with you. In fact he had no idea what you were up to through the decades, the few times your parents ran into him on the street or at the grocery store and made sure to ignore his presence and pretend they'd never met. He just couldn't approach them and ask for your phone number. Besides, what would he even tell you?

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you the woman I left you for also left me, so now I'm a lonely single dad and I realized I took you for granted and maybe if you ain't busy, we could go for a cup of coffee or something?!"

It would be just straight up stupid, not to mention he was sure you would've found someone nice, someone worthy of you, probably you'd be married by then, perhaps you'd have a kid or two, and he was sure you'd be an amazing mother, because he just knew you were an amazing wife, and he was the only one to blame for not treating you the way you deserved it.

So Joel decided it was best if he pretended nothing ever happened just like you did with him, of course destiny had other plans.

He gave Sarah a ride to school and went to work. It would be another busy day, like all of his days, in which he would work hard in order to save as much money as he could, wanting to assure his daughter the future she deserved. For Sarah, it meant another day of classes and selling cookies. She didn't like the activity, but she didn't hate it either. In fact, on that particular day she felt kind of excited as she was about to head towards the 'good' part of the neighborhood, where most houses were big and seemed expensive. Getting her backpack and her stash of goodies to sell, she left home and went on with her day.

You, on the other hand, hadn't planned on coming back to Austin so soon, as the years turned into a decade, and then a little bit more than that, you had dedicated yourself fully to your academic and professional life, focusing on yourself only, managing to bury deep your memories of Joel and never paying attention to anything remotely close to a love life.

Yes, you'd had relationships, affairs, and you'd been with a few guys: one of them was Javier, he was a handsome but very slutty cop who you had a no-string relationship with; it was good for a while, he was handsome, sexy and he fucked like no other, but he had a taste for women that unabled himself to keep it inside of his pants. You liked the freedom, but that was too much.

You also dated a guy named Dave for a brief period, he was nice, also painfully handsome, a tiny bit mysterious about his high profile government job, but he wanted a family, not just another relationship. He wanted marriage and kids, and you were just out of it in no time. The last straw was when you were traveling back home and during one stop for dinner at a small, cozy bar, a guy dressed entirely in cowboy attire came onto you. It was the undeniable proof you weren't made for relationships at all; it was like Joel Miller had casted a spell, or worse, a curse on you: it had become impossible for you to be in a relationship. Still, that wasn't your main concern, not more than why you had to move back to Austin after all those years shifting from New York to Boston, Texas and even a brief period in Spain which led you into an affair with another guy named Javier, but well, that was definitely another story. You'd simply got a phone call from your parents talking about a family emergency and once you had asked for a leave, your boss had mentioned the opportunity of you working for the Austin branch, it was a promising one, with a lot of chances of career growth and becoming the head of the office would actually come in handy, so you had no other option than say yes and pack your stuff. When you got back to Texas, despite the suffocating heat, you were also welcomed with suffocating news of your grandmother's passing, and a couple of weeks later, the news she'd left you a house in the suburbs, a real good area with many families, easy traffic and a lot of space. Having become an apartment person over the years, you first thought it was so odd to live in a house, especially by yourself. Everything seemed so big but now you didn't have to worry about having to clean it all, being able to afford someone to do so, you found your way by decorating everything exactly the way you liked it, using the spare rooms to build your home office, your closet space and a guest room, you slowly turned grandma's house into your own. However, the exterior still bothered you: there was a great space in the backyard, but the swimming pool was empty and dirty, and you could definitely have a barbecue area built so you could welcome your friends and family on weekends. As it wasn't your priority, you didn't bother so much about it, turning your attention to settling into your new office first.

•••

"Oh, hi ma'am, I'm selling cookies to help our school fund, would you be interested?" Sarah displayed a wide grin, hoping that would soften up the very annoyed looking old woman who opened the door. She noticed how the old lady looked at her up and down and just groaned a 'no' before practically slamming the door shut. Sarah sighed and shook her head, and there she was thinking the people who lived in the wealthier part of the neighborhood were more generous, but apparently they were just a bunch of snobbish cunts. Her stomach growled in hunger as she walked some more, she knew she should've eaten before going to sell the cookies, but she didn't have time at that moment. She insisted some more, knocking on another door, having no clue she was actually knocking on her father's ex-wife's door.

Sighing tiredly as you closed your laptop, you looked around and focused on what you would do next. You knew you needed to go grocery shopping soon, but you just didn't feel like driving to the store and pick up vegetables, so instead, you left your study and went to the living room, getting comfortable on the couch and groaning slightly the moment the doorbell rang. You were just so comfortable on the couch, you considered ignoring whoever was on the other side of the door, but for some reason, a slight wave of guilt made its presence and you obliged to answer whoever was disturbing you.

"Hello! My name's Sarah Miller and we're selling cookies for the school fund, would you be interested?" The smiley girl repeated her memorized speech the moment you open the door, she discreetly watched you, seeing you didn't seem so closed like the woman from the previous house, but still she wasn't sure if you were friendly, not when you stared at her with a seemingly shocked look.

Miller.

Her name was Miller.

Your heart raced and lost track of what she was saying, knowing you desperately needed to get your shit back together; Miller wasn't an uncommon name at all, quite the opposite, you had met a few people who also coincidentally had the same last name as your ex-husband, so your reaction to the girl's name was just absurd. Maybe it was because you were back in Austin, where everything happened, but then again, you reminded yourself Joel wasn't the only person named Miller in Texas.

"I-I'm sorry… I got distracted but yeah, I'll take two boxes" you smiled at the girl, she was a teenager, a very pretty one, she was pretty good at expressing herself though she looked exhausted and sweaty.

"Would you like to drink some water?" You offered her, feeling sorry for her at the realization she had probably been walking under the sunlight for quite some time. Sarah didn't think twice before nodding eagerly as she stepped inside, dragging her school bag and her cookie cart along. You let her in, finding sweet how she looked all over the place, taking in the different details from your home and enjoying that environment.

You guided her to the kitchen, getting her a tall glass of iced water, frowning at the fact she wasn't following you anymore. Instead, she stood in front of your bookshelf, looking at it up and down, trying to take in as many titles as she could. Sarah would love to have her own bookshelf like that, she loved reading ever since she was a little girl and though she used the school's library a lot, she thought the idea of having her own things was appealing, but she understood her dad couldn't simply splurge on books for her whenever she wanted to.

"Do you like books?" You asked her, walking closer and handing her the glass of water, which she killed with only a few gulps.

"Have you read all of them?!" Her surprised voice made you chuckle, she was such a sweet girl, you had no idea why you instantly liked her, but you did.

"Well, not all of them… I've just bought some of them and I haven't had the time yet, why? Did any of them interest you?"

"Well…" she said shyly and hesitantly ran her fingers through them, only pulling one out to read the description at your encouraging nod. "This one seems nice…"

"It is nice… do you want it? You can take it!" You smiled at how she blinked a little confused but nodded, so thankful for your kindness. Even if she didn't know you, Sarah already liked you. She smiled at the book and placed the glass down.

"Have you had lunch?" She shook her head shyly and you smiled "come on, I'll make you a sandwich…"

For the next hour, you and Sarah talked about several things: she told you about her school, her interests and how much she loved reading. She had assured you she would return you the book as soon as she finished it and you assured her she could borrow as many as she would like. She also briefly talked about her family, mentioning she lived with her dad on the other side of the neighborhood and you told her a little bit more about yourself.

She widened her eyes the moment she saw what time it really was, and quickly grabbed her backpack and the book you'd lent her, thank you several times as she walked towards the door "go before your mom gets worried about you" you told her without much thinking, but she shrugged "mom's not around… I live with my dad only, but it was really nice meeting you, Y/N"

•••

And for the next month, at least once a week you'd get a visit from Sarah. It had become a habit of hers to just stop by, spend a couple of hours with you, return you the book she'd borrowed the week before and get a new one. She didn't talk much about her family, it was mostly about school, friends and boy crushes and books. You were kind of suspicious she was missing a feminine figure, since she briefly told you her mom left a couple of months after she was born without looking back, you picked up the hint she wasn't open to talk about it yet, and you respected it. You were glad you unexpectedly got a new friend, a very young friend, and at first you thought it was kind of odd, until you realized she sort of resembled a daughter figure to you. After all, if you had had children with Joel, your child would be around Sarah's age.

Joel also thought it was kind of weird his daughter made an adult friend, he was well aware of how dangerous things were in the world, especially for young, innocent girls like Sarah, but when she told him her new friend was a woman, single, childless woman, who was nice, definitely had some money but also seemed quite lonely, he assumed she was one of those old cat lady kind of women; in his mind, his daughter's mysterious friend was probably a widow, who didn't have any kids and now had to approach random people for attention so she wouldn't be alone all the time. If only he knew how wrong he was, he would've asked your name, but he didn't. And he also knew he should've done it, perhaps even asked for your phone number so he could call you in case of god forbid, an emergency. But he worked so hard, not only that, he was going through a very stressful period too, so he didn't pay as much attention as he should have towards several things.

Sarah had become acquainted with several aspects of your life, from the time you spent together in your weird version of a book club. Mostly the conversations were about her and the struggles she often faced as a teenager, but sometimes you let out information, plans or complaints here and there. It wasn't different the day you were very displeased with how your backyard was looking; it had potential to be a beautiful place but it needed fixing and remodeling. Perhaps it'd been the stress at work, but for whatever reason the way that place looked was bothering you and making you cranky, if any other given day you wouldn't give a crap about it, but at that moment you did, and not only that, you mentioned it to Sarah, who tried to be useful and told you she could ask her dad to take a look at it, after all, he was in the business and could help you with it. You said yes and told her you'd be expecting the two of them on Saturday morning. Only when the girl had left happily carrying another book in hands, was that you realized that maybe, and just maybe, you should've asked her father's name.

•••

"So, you're really sure this friend of yours wants to get some stuff remodeled? And that she can afford it?" Joel glanced at Sarah before focusing again on the street as he drove to her new friend's house. He wasn't truly convinced you would actually want to hire his services, it just seemed too good to be true. He held back a smile at the way Sarah rolled her eyes at him, she'd told him hundreds of times that yes, you needed someone to repair and remodel the backyard, if anything, he could at least indicate you someone who could provide the service you were looking for.

"Fine, let's help the old lady then" he grunted at the same time his daughter turned to him "what old lady?!"

"Your friend… isn't she old? I mean, she's lonely and she lets you hang out… I thought she'd be like our neighbor an-"

"Dad, she's younger than you, I think! And she's pretty too…"

At that information Joel was more curious about you. Why was a pretty young woman all alone and willing to be friends with a girl who could roughly be her kid's age?! Were you really pretty? And did you really want your backyard remodeled or was Sarah playing matchmaker? He really hoped she wasn't, otherwise he would be very angry. Joel didn't need a new relationship, he didn't want to, having failed the two major ones he had in his life, the first one being so immature and cruel to his sweet young wife and the second one he didn't exactly where he screwed up, perhaps he had just been naive and thought the woman who wanted nothing more than just some fun was actually willing to build a life with, or maybe he wanted her to take over your place, after all, you'd set the bar pretty high for Angela when it came on being a dedicated housewife. The raw fact was that Joel was alone all those years later, his first wife was hopefully living her best years with someone who truly deserved her and Angela was God knows where but he didn't give a single fuck. She'd been dead to him from the moment she walked out of his door, denying her own baby, and all that passion he felt turned into hurt and anger. Unlike the feelings he had for you: as the years passed and he grew older, he thought of several times he could've treated you better than he did, he thought of how he would have tried not hurting you as much as he did, even if the situation the two of you were was tricky, he often fantasized about a version of your marriage where he hadn't ruined everything, where he had been honest without being cruel, without playing with your feelings, he didn't know if it was just his conscious weighing heavily on him or what, but he always thought of you with affection and love. At that time he was sure he didn't love you anymore, the passion he felt for the other woman was too intense, too much, it blinded and deafened him from everything around, everything that mattered the most to him at the time. But all those years later, Joel was sure the love for you was still there, perhaps it was just hidden away, or it got stuck under all that shit that went on, still, he didn't know who you had become, what you looked like or where you were at that moment, so it was a fairly assumption he was still in love with a memory and nothing more than that.

"Fine, so what's her name after all?" He questioned his daughter after some moment of silence but before she could answer, Joel parked his truck in front of your home.

You heard the engine and you went to the window, checking the unknown car parked in front of your place and though you couldn't actually see them inside, you knew it was Sarah and her dad. Just as you went to the door, he exited the car, his back to the entrance as you walked to them and greeted Sarah, at the sound of your voice he immediately turned around and the two of you froze in time as you watched each other there.

Joel.

You felt as if you were trapped in a weird dream, the ones you know you are just dreaming and yet you can't move or speak, just taking the role of the audience of a bizarre picture that formed before your eyes. Joel on the other hand, stared at you in complete silence, you couldn't really read him, it was impossible to know what was going on in his mind, in his heart, you could just feel his eyes roaming over your body, taking all the image of you as if he was trying to make sure you were actually what he saw in front of him. He couldn't believe it, after all those years, after everything he did to you, you were there, beautiful as you'd always been, even more so, the fancy lifestyle really suited you, he could tell by your clothes, your nails perfectly done, your hair looking gorgeous and styled nicely, you had succeeded, you had had a life he knew he could never provide you, and for that he felt kind of relieved, at least one good thing came out of your divorce: the chance of you having the success you deserved it, you weren't that housewife who needed to still work part time at the mall, you were above that now, and Joel was so damn proud of you for it.

"I-I.. yo-"

"Nice to meet you, you must be Sarah's dad" you interrupted him before he could say your name and extended your hand to him, pretending you'd just met. He was confused but you tilted your head very discreetly towards his daughter, being sure she didn't know anything that had happened between the both of you. He immediately picked up the hint and introduced himself, as if you were meeting for the first time. His hand engulfed yours like it always did, Joel Miller had always had big and strong hands, surely they got calloused through the years, but you knew damn well what they were capable of doing to you. He was older, looking more handsome than you thought he would, he aged like a fine wine, streaks of silver here and there but the majority of his hair still dark and soft like always, he was bigger too, he was stronger, broad and grew several muscles, all of it a result of years of hard-working. No matter if he had broken your heart, there was no denying he was an extremely attractive man.

He appreciated how heartfelt you were towards his daughter and gladly followed you inside once you invited him into the backyard to discuss what could be done. Sarah was right behind the two of you, but you turned to her, smiling big

"I went to the bookstore yesterday and I think you might enjoy what I bought, wanna take a look at it? They're all in the living room" you suggested to her who nodded and happily went after the books.

Once you and Joel got into the backyard, he stuttered some apologies but you immediately cut him off.

"I don't want apologies Joel, I didn't know Sarah was your daughter and I probably wouldn't have let her in if I knew who she was, but now I got attached to her and I hope our situation isn't going to prevent us from being friends" you told him honestly and watched as he nodded

"You know, her mom, Angela, she left us and I'm very sorry I left you for her.. "

"I don't wanna hear it, Joel. As I said, I don't wanna hear it about her mom or the apologies or anything at all, I mean, Sarah told me what happened and it's enough, you and I aren't together anymore, we're better off without each other, so let's just overcome this part and focus on the job I need you to do…"

"You know, I can indicate you another contractor to do it for you, so it won't be weird…"

"No, you can do it, unless you are feeling uncomfortable but other than that, I'd rather you do it, besides, Sarah would find it awkward"

And like that, Joel got into his professional mood and the two of you discussed the project you had in mind, hiring his services, he told you he could start the next Monday and he would take care of it himself, to make sure things would go according to your wishes. He noticed you didn't wear any commitment rings, nor there were pictures of you and any guy indicating a relationship and in his heart, the hope of perhaps taking you out for a coffee and getting to know you, the woman you'd become after those years, after growing mature and changing your life completely, growing in his heart. It was a fair assumption Joel had an immediate crush on you, the feelings he held within, were now blossoming more, at how beautiful, intelligent and attractive you were and suddenly, the roles were reversed: if more than ten years ago you had it bad for him, now he was the one who felt like a sick love puppy towards you.

The first week of working wasn't so bad at all, Joel would arrive at yours earlier than you expected and would start working. You didn't stay around much, letting him do his job while you were probably working in the living room or any other part of the house whenever you didn't have to go to work per se. He tried making small talk during some of his breaks and since you didn't see any harm in it, you chatted briefly, that was how he'd learned what you did for a living, where you'd been after you left Austin, and stuff like that. He told you some things about his life, mostly about how it'd been the experience of raising a child on his own, but whenever he got near bringing up your past or trying to apologize, you'd cut up any kind of interaction with him. At the end of the day you and him had nothing but a professional relationship. He understood your reasons, and yet, he hoped you would find at least a small breach in your heart to let him in, he really hoped he could show you he was a better man now, that he could be suitable for you, and yet, you kept yourself all the way distant and protecting yourself from him.

So it became a very common scene to always escape from Joel, moving seats or rooms whenever he was around, you didn't know how else to act, what he expected from you. It wasn't like you were old buddies catching up after years in a long-distance relationship. And he always got displeased.

It was about the third week of working at your house, he asked if he could use your kitchen to have lunch, heating up the food he'd eat, you smiled at yourself as you were taken back by the memories of times where you would prepare him lunches and send it in his lunchbox, how you would worry about him being hungry so you would always make sure there was something fresh out of the oven for him to nibble on as soon as he got home from work and chuckled softly, shaking your head and excusing yourself. He'd thought you would at least have lunch next to him, but you weren't willing to do that at all, and that both pained and pissed him off.

"Would it kill you to spend time with me? Look at me? Or act like a human being instead of being all stiff like a robot whenever I'm around?" He asked, breaking the silence, you could see he was frustrated and that puzzled you to no end.

"What are you talking about, Joel?!"

"You don't talk to me, Y/N, I try making small talk, you don't answer me, you don't even look at me, suddenly I'm not worth your time? You're too good to even acknowledge I am next to you?"

"Do you really want to talk about not being worth someone's time? Really Joel? I thought you had grown up during all these years but I can see you are just the same shallow fuckboy who gets pissed off when you see I'm not crawling towards you…"

"Stop being unfair to me! All I'm trying to do is to show you I've changed, I am a better man, a better person, I'm not that same immature Joel you met so many years ago, I'm trying to make you see I'm a new man…" he went from angry to desperate, you took a step closer and looked into his eyes, not breaking the eye contact for one second.

"I know Joel, I know you've changed… you've grown into this hardworking man, this amazing father, I can see it, I hear it every time Sarah comes over, but you don't have to try too hard, it's not gonna change anything… You and I are two different people, we have nothing to do with each other anymore"

"You can't say that, I want you to see we could try it again, I still love you, Y/N!"

"Joel, we'll never try it again, the marks of your betrayal still linger here, all over me, forgetting you was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I don't want to ever feel it again. You don't love me, Joel. You love the idea of me, of picking up the shattered parts of your broken life and making it right, you love the thought of building up a family, of giving your daughter the mom she deserves, and it's all because it didn't work out with that woman. We both know it… if she hadn't left you wouldn't even be thinking of me" you looked down, trying to hold back a tear that insisted on falling, but failing at that matter. "I wasn't good enough to be by your side, to build a family with you, you can't just expect me to throw myself into your arms as if nothing had happened, what exactly do you think would happen between us in the first place? I'd be waiting for you every single night with dinner ready? Those days were over, Joel…" you sniffed and he sighed, placing his hand on his waist.

"Give me a chance, go on a date with me, please… before you say no, just think about it, of what we could have together… please! You don't have to answer me now, think about it and when I finish the job, you can tell me your answer"

•••

The following weeks were as normal as they could be; you hadn't told Joel yes but you hadn't told him no either and even if it pained you to admit it, you sometimes thought of his proposition. Sarah was still coming over, your bond was now stronger, you really liked each other and despite everything that happened, you were thankful Joel wasn't against your friendship. You two had agreed on not telling her anything about your shared past at the moment, but in case you two decided she needed to know it for whatever reason, Joel would be the one to tell her, it would only make sense. You also thought about his words and you decided to be nicer to him, actually stopping to talk to him, or having lunch next to him instead of rushing away as fast as you could and in retribution, he stopped with the feelings talk. The deadline was coming to an end, as your backyard remodeling was getting prettier and prettier each passing day. It was odd and awkward and you wanted to get things over with as soon as possible at the same time a strange fascination with watching Joel caught you. It was hard to explain, but when the final day came, when Joel and his assistant showed you the word ready and done, and after you paid them the large wage you owed them for the services, your ex-husband asked to talk to you. He had hope in his eyes, he was wearing his flannel, and he'd combed his hair a little, which made him look painfully handsome, your heart clenched. Even before he could say anything, you already had your answer. He stood in front of you, baffled at the fact you threw your arms around his body, pulling him for a hug. His hands locked around your waist, strong grip not wanting to let go, while you sank into his warmth. He was your old Joel, the one you'd loved so deeply and broke your heart, but nonetheless your Joel.

Taking your hand to his face, you stroked it gently, feeling his beard scratching your palm a little and you smiled "I forgive you, Joel… I don't know if you wanted my forgiveness or not, but I forgive you anyway, I don't resent you anymore, what's gone, it's gone and now we can only focus on our future. I know that if I tried looking for a space in my heart, I would find it a part that still keeps all the love I felt for you, but we've changed, for the best and that teaches us we should never make the same mistakes from the past, so you do understand why we can't go on this date, right? We can't be together, I'm sorry Joel, but you know it's true… I just need one last thing from you…"

You told him, leaning towards him and pecking his lips. After all that time, it still felt like your favorite place in the world, your heart raced the moment he groaned into your mouth and his hands tightened his dominating grip on you. It was quite pathetic how he still had the same effect over you and if he hadn't hurt you as much as he did and condemned you two to a relationship based on lack of trust, perhaps you could even consider trying again. Forgiving and forgetting were different things, whereas you didn't resent him anymore, you hadn't forgotten about how broken he left your heart. You would never be able to trust him again, always worrying he had found someone better like he did once, you couldn't do that to yourself, you loved yourself too much to go back to Joel Miller. That last kiss you cherished, you would keep it in your memories, but it wouldn't go further than that. You and Joel were done for years and nothing would convince you otherwise.

____

A/N: I hope you enjoyed it 😭💔

[nicosraf]

It's my birthday! And Angels Before Man's second birthday from the original publishing! And almost three years since the original draft of it! Wow! Thank you all a million times for being here. Really, genuinely

I'd like for this extremely long post to be happier ! But a lot of people are really troubled by the United States election. There's a lot of fear-mongering online about what'll happen and a lot of real threats to marginalized people in the U.S. and abroad. I don't talk about my own identities a ton. I'm a gay, trans, Mexican from the US-Mex border. The vast majority of my family, community, and friends are immigrants of varying legal statuses. I could lose everything!! I fear for my family! My friends! For my body and my heart!

My mom called me yesterday morning, though, basically asking for an explanation. She told me she was shocked, she was scared, and I said that so was I, then we said, "Pos ni modo." Ni modo!! Oh well!!! What can we do now? We can keep doing what we've always done. Survive. That's all you really have to do at the end of the day, you know, survive.

My family is from a rough Mexican city that fell apart when I was little, a place where my own family has been kidnapped and bodies have been left mutilated in the street for everyone to see. The radio spoke in code to let you know not to go outside when things got really bad. There used to be mariachis in the street to greet American tourists but by the time I was little, they were mostly gone. Boarded up, abandoned stores and boarded up, abandoned homes. I remember being scared, and I remember not knowing what to do listening to a shoot out right outside. I remember my heart stopping when my family was stopped by the soldiers and they demanded money out of us for the first time.

(And I can talk also about living on the other side. The hyper policing, ICE, the racism when my school played against other schools, my parents forbidding me from speaking Spanish outside our Mexican enclave and to stay close to them, and I can talk about the aggression from the white nuns at my catholic school toward the latino kids, I can talk about having to see the border patrol every day just to go to school, I can even talk about Trump-supporters coming down to the border and making a mess of the place and I can talk and I can talk but why? what for??)

My family is all (mostly) still around. I'm here also. We're still here. All of that horrible stuff happened and is still happening to us y ni modo!! Ni modo ! The fight continues. You'll be fine if you allow yourself to be, and if you're not, then you really gave it your best shot, and the people around you will see that you did.

I know for a lot of people there might be the urge to spiral into doom and grieve, but you don't need to borrow the grief of the future. Today you can get up and roll up your sleeves and clean the house. That's what my parents tell me to do when I'm sad. Ponte a limpiar. Ponte a trabajar. I used to get mad at them for it, but in the end, you're only in charge of yourself and the places/things that you upkeep.

I was raised around nopales (prickly pear cacti) and, many years ago, I threw one out of my parent's house because I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't want it. I figured it'd get eaten by something or die somehow. The nopal started growing instead, and it's still there. It even grew a flower, though it hasn't given us a pear yet. My dad doesn't like the pears/tuna but my mom does, so we went out to check on it and while we were there, we heard a bird singing. He looked up and he told me it was a cenzontle and that it was singing a little song for the nopal. I had this thought about how even though I basically tried to kill it, the nopal was growing, thriving. it's an easy metaphor to make, but the earth gives you simple lessons sometimes.

(The monarchs pass by every year. They don't even do it legally. They cut the border line and don't wait their turn to talk to the Customs guys!!! They just fly overhead then look back at us like we're crazy. How can we explain this to them? How do I tell them that there's a place that hates us both)

All you have to do is survive. Whatever happens to me or my family or my friends, we will find a way to grow and find birds to sing along with. If there's so much grief in the future, then we can grieve when that time comes. In other words, canta y no llores. All you have to do is survive. Take it hour by the hour. Pick up the broom and get to work while you can.

Because I've talked too much, I wanted to remind everyone that my ebooks versions of my writing will always be free to read.

Maybe it'll come as a shock to you that a lot of ABM was about coping with losing a home forever, of remembering the feeling of wall paint that you will never feel again. But it's about survival too. I hope you all take care of yourselves as much as we can. This isn't a sad post! Go out and enjoy what you have! Go for a snack. Protect yourself however youre able to. I'm so lucky to have a birthday, to have lived this long. I hope my work will live on no matter how much the world might despise it. I've survived this far despite the world too, and so will ABM... I hope ! :)

[brooooswriting]

Please I need a part two for oh I know!!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🩷

Oh I know pt. 2

Part 1

It had been some weeks since your discussion with Leighton and she kept being supportive and encouraging about every decision you made. It got to the point where you felt bad about not being out, especially since you’d love to show her off. You felt the worst when it was her birthday coming up.

“So, my parents and my brother are coming down for my birthday and we are going out to eat. Do you want to join?” She questioned as she typed on her phone. You were chilling in the spare apartment your parents had near campus, and you often went there when your roommates were too much.

“Are the others also going to be there?” You didn’t wanna make it too obvious but you already knew that the blonde figured out why you asked.

“No, but that doesn’t have to mean anything” she tried to convince you.

“Cause you’re someone who brings here friends to her family?” She sighed, knowing that you were right and she dropped the topic after inviting you to go to the theta party after she’s done with her parents. You said you’d try to come and dropped the topic too.

At least you tried, but the whole night, you could only think about how sad she looked even though she tried to hide it. She's been the best girlfriend one could be, and the fact that you couldn't celebrate her birthday with her because you were scared actually made you mad at yourself.

Coming out to your parents/family still scares the living shit out of you but if Leighton's family accepted her, they'd surely accept you too. Plus, coming out to your friends and her family didn't mean that you had to come out to yours too. After a lot of contemplating you finally made up your plan.

“So, where are you guys going for your birthday tomorrow?” you asked as the blonde laid in your arms, a movie playing on the small TV you had in your apartment.

“Oh, the fancy place down the street. It's my dad's favorite lunch place and I'm fine with whatever” Her hesitation was obvious but you decided to ignore it as you were too scared to reveal anything of your plan.

“That's nice. What are you going to wear?” a happy squeal left her mouth and she picked up her phone to show you pictures of her outfit, explaining each detail while your hand rubbed over her waist.

Later that night you walked Leighton home. “Good night baby” You checked your surroundings before you pressed a couple of soft kisses to her lips, trying not to let her notice your nerves building up. “Good night” she pressed a last kiss to your check before disappearing.

At midnight, you texted her happy birthday, how much she meant to you, how much you appreciated her, and that you couldn't wait to see her. She obviously didn't answer until the following day. You shot her a quick answer before getting ready, needing much more time as your nerves went wild. You wore a nice suit with nothing really underneath, styling your hair neatly and doing some natural make-up. Leighton's present was wrapped up and sat on the kitchen counter, your keys and everything else you needed next to it. Nervously shaking you sat on the counter before the clock stroke 2:45 meaning that you had to leave now.

You parked your car at the edge of the campus and walked to the blonde's dorm. Leighton was known for being quite punctual so you didn't knock, instead just standing in front of the door, her present and some roses in hand. You didn't have to wait long as the door opened and revealed your beautiful girlfriend in the doorway, her back turned to you as she still talked to her roommates. “Alright, I'll see you guys later,” she said before turning around, nearly running into your arms. “Y/n? What are you doing here?” she questioned as she looked you up and down.

“I wanted to be your date to your birthday dinner,” you said and shot her a smile. “Happy birthday my love” you added, holding the flowers toward her.

She grabbed the flowers with a confused look before looking back at you. “But I thought you said no?” she played with the leaves of the flowers and leaned against the doorway, unsure of what to think.

“I did…but you're way too awesome to hide and I want to be able to go out with you and give you the life you deserve. I'm not scared of coming out if it means being able to be with you in public. I am in love with you and I want people to know” you explained with a sheepish smile.

Leighton smiled at you and hugged you, “I'm in love with you too.” She pulled back to kiss you passionately. Your hands immediately went to her waist as you reciprocated the kiss. The two of you only pulled back when you heard some awws coming from behind the blonde. Her roommates were standing in the common room of their dorm, staring at you with big smiles. Leighton grumbled and pulled the door shut before pulling you along as you had to get going. “Are you sure about this? I don't want you to regret this”

You chuckled and pulled her into you as you two walked to your car. “I am 100% sure about this. There is nobody I'd rather be out with than you.” The youngest Murray smiled up at you and left the topic alone. You opened the car door for her, acting as if you didn't see everybody on campus staring at you, then closed it before getting in yourself. Your hand placed itself on her thigh while she answered some of her happy birthday texts, a comfortable silence taking over the car. Your nerves got worse with each mile you drove but every time you looked at the girl next to you, you calmed down again. She was definitely worth it.

When you pulled up you already saw the Murrays standing in front of their Range Rover. You parked behind it and gave Leighton a nod before getting out and opening the door for her, holding your hand out to help her get out. “You gonna be fine” she whispered to you as you closed the door and walked up to her family after giving your keys to the valet parking.

“Hello, my name is y/n y/l/n. I am Leighton’s… girlfriend. It's a pleasure to meet you” you said to her parents, shaking each of their hands before settling back to your spot between the siblings. Some anxiety lifted off of you when they smiled at you.

“Well, it's great to meet you y/n. I'm Henry and this is my wife Mimi. Should we go in?” they were extremely nice to you and started to walk in when you two gave them a nod. You were walking behind the rest, your hands intertwined and a big smile on your faces.

The dinner went amazing, her parents were so nice and accepting that your heart ached at the thought of your family never being like this. But when Leighton giggled at some comment Nico made and her parents countered, you couldn't think about anything else but the beauty of this moment.

When dinner was done, and your discussion with Henry over who would pay was over, you walked outside to retrieve your cars. The sun was nearly setting by now and the family still had to drive some hours to get home. “It was really great meeting you y/n. And remember you're invited to the family meeting next month” Mimi said as she hugged you goodbye.

“It was really nice to have you here” Henry said and went to shake your hand, “but don't you dare hurt her” he whispered, still too loud as Leighton groaned behind you.

“I won't sir, I can promise you that” you answered and moved on to say goodbye to her brother when he nodded at you.

Not long after you sat in your car again, your hand placed in hers as you drove back to the campus. “They love you” she happily grinned at you as you drove. “Thank you, for doing this. I know how scared you were” she added.

“This was the greatest thing that I could have done. Thank you for your patience and support baby” you countered as you parked the car and pressed a kiss to her lips. “So, changing and then to the theta party?” she gave you a happy nod and jumped out of the car.

That night you danced together on the dance floor, made out right next to it and went home together with everybody knowing that you were each others. You were happier than every, even though you knee that it was only a small amount of time until your parents would figure it out. But that was a problem for another night.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for outing my sisters (SECOND) pregnancy and causing drama

I (20f) am aware that accidents happen, but she doesn't even know the man to her (22f) first (thusly no child support is involved in this equation). Discovery of this information is due to me being the one that does the bathroom trash. It was... not well hidden, to say the least.

Pure flavor and context, our relationship would be less rocky if she had any sense of responsibility at all. From 15 onwards constantly out of money yet up the ass of every hangout/party in town, constantly trying to make it anyone else's job to keep her entertained. Has very much dropped out of college for #1.

But, actual event wise... I get to the trash can, and I'm thinking... oh god, not again. And so soon? Because baby #1 is about 10 months (male if it matters) at sending. Mom has already bent over backwards to handle this without destroying *my* attempts at college, and there's not a doubt in my mind my sister would have gladly gone "Surprise! Not my problem now🎊! " if I'd given her the space to do so.

Phrasing it like that feels mean, but it's been 98% mom doing it all. Diapers, feedings, you name it. If it's not cute enough for social media my sister has not put her hands on it. In my moms fantasy world this was to give my sister the chance to go back to the local college.

Now at first I didn't actually plan to say much of anything. It just... seemed risky in a way I didn't want the backlash for. But a friend of mine and her girlfriend were moving, and their planned roommate bailed, and I do very much have a job an can pay rent. The nitty gritty is way more complicated than that but I'm trying to not bog this down.

I waffle for a couple of days as I process the whole thing but I commit to thinking later and acting now about moving and by what's month 1.75 I'm planning what posters of mine to take/leave. There's been a second confirming test popping up in the trash.

I have to tell my mom, finally, that in three weeks to a month I'm gone. Slightly unsurprisingly, I get asked "Well, why? Why now?"

I did kind of think through it in advance, but honestly every other small reason just... left me? I choked HARD and y'all know the blank "ohshit" moment where you've got Nothing.

It was a messy conversation and I'm skipping a lot, but thankfully dad and sis were out to not hear it. She didn't fully believe me until I walked out the door to the new appartment, and it didn't end there technically, but I just sorta grey rocked it with the sole give that I think mom is going to collapse over this because she's not twenty some anymore chasing *us*, and I think mom wasn't processing it either until I was out the door.

Final stage, I've packed and am seconds from leaving. Mom asks one final question of "What exactly would you suggest here, if it's real, then" in that tone where it's not about getting real answers, it's about shaming me. She is scathingly told to make my sister homeless about it if she doesn't abort, so that it'll maybe motivate her to at least get child support if not put a stop to the slope of shitting them out like litters.

Roommates are fine thus far, but I'm introverted and don't really leave my room unless I need something so the space for conflicts are minimal. So I'm a week into the new apartment (thusly she's 3 to 3.25 months pregnant) when I get a heated, ranting phone call. I sure hope you can figure out who's calling that's *mad*.

First of all apparently I'm a cunt for taking the joy of announcement away from my, as she tried and got "We know." Because that is so fucking important for a college drop out on kid #2 to have, apparently.

More interestingly I'm apparently a double cunt because mom had been toying with asking me for rent, as my sister doesn't work either and babies are expensive. This was not aired to me by mom herself, but even if I hadn't asked her myself afterwards I wouldn't have doubted that part.

And I'm apparently a mega triple cunt, because (as I turned around to interrogate mom about because. What?) mom had a crystalizing moment where it did very much click to her that my sister had no intentions of stepping up in anyway shape or form. Why she's jumped straight to "you abort or gtfo" like I suggested to be an asshole didn't get cleared up to me beyond "No, no. You're right. Responsibility must be taken."

A different friend has asked where the fucks my dad in this; spinless with no opinion because if he dares to dissent he'll implode. Moving on.

I think that while I might have jumped sharks everyone else is now on a plane of drama that I don't need to follow, and should in fact be kept the fuck out of. I also think I've also hit an anger stage of this whole situation so trust in my own narrative should be cautious.

I'm gonna, like, pause the emotional train here? And mention that I'm not asking about moving out. I'll be guilty about moving out specifically when my sister sucks my dick for forgiveness (note my 20f label). But this has dropped an emotional bomb in the family and my friend groups interconnected enough that they'd've heard about it even if I said nothing, and this is now hotly debated (and most of my friends are on mute on my phone lol), and by now it's no secret the ''make her homeless'' idea first came out of MY mouth, no matter how mortifying it is that it was taken seriously on impulse arguing about it is about seven steps behind where the debate needs to be.

Again, I'm at the point of anger feeling good. She gets irresponsibly knocked up once already, drops out of college and refuses to get a job, and then runs off and does it again after dumping all real work onto other people. I think she's lost the right to have happy fun time pregnancy, and I'm here to get a (late) opinion from people decidedly more objective than anyone I can speak to rn. It's not like the pregnancy won't be here in the time this takes to move through queue.

What are these acronyms?

[whimsical-roasting]

You reblogged that Sam gifs post and it reminded me of that headcanon i have of being Sam’s friend but you’re feisty and take no one’s shit. Like he’s always takes the high road and you’re like when they go low i go lowER. I would fight that Akufo dude for him no questions asked.

hi wifey <3 you are absolutely right!! i fucking love that idea of Sam having a bestie who'd throw hands for him.. it's on sight all the time.

special thanks to @sokkigarden for bouncing ideas off me, love you bby. okay, i wanna write about being friends w the AFC Richmond boys more, so if yall have ANY thoughts on being friends with ANY of the lads then send me requests on it so we can DISCUSS

OKAY BUT BEING BESTIES WITH SAM OBISANYA

he's such a wholesome and loyal friend... a breath of fresh air yknow?? Dani is more of that 'unconditional sunshine' energy, but Sam is positive whilst still keeping it real w you

and sooo you're hella loyal to him too. well, you're loyal to everyone you care about. you'd take a bullet for them, no questions asked, but probs a lot of cussing involved (same, but i'll come back to this)

sharing an airpod each if yall go out on a walk or join the team on a bus ride - if you're dating jamie then he NEEDS you next to him on the ride back, probs uses your shoulder to sleep on and has an arm around your waist so you can't leave, but that's a diff post ahahaha

having a shared spotify playlist that you both keep adding music too...the vibes are all over the place. "Y/N, I was trying to jam out to J.Cole, and then Adele came on??" "Oh yea, I was sad bout something earlier"

blanket forts and microwaveable caramel popcorn for when he's missing home

playing as him in FIFA when you're with the lads and yellin "YEA THATS MY BESTIE" every time you score as him

pinching his earlobes like his dad would for good luck on the days of a big match/when he's really nervous

since opening OLA'S, you join him when he attends small business owner conventions, but that's mainly to try the free food

since i'm vegetarian, telling him that his menu looks great but you can only stick to sumn like the jollof rice.. so next month when he invites you over to his restaurant for a catchup dinner there's a whole new lil section for vegetarian dishes on the menu (or whatever dietary inclusivr thingy etc.)

warning Sam about Afuko because "a man simply doesn't feed you pasta and lobster and send you a stack without something in mind" and him being like ??? what and you groan, "did you watch the tiktoks I sent you??"

hearing about how the Afuko rejection went and Sam only focusses on "he called me medium talent??" and you're SEETHING

you're like "what the living F U C K" and he's like "oh hey Y/N, don't worry, I know I am not medium talent" and you're like "what? no, shut up, obviously not, but that's not the POINT here. how did that ASSHOLE have the audacity to speak to you like that?!!"

you're searching up flights to Nigeria and opening a google map from the airport to Afuko's business residence or something, and Sam is like, "seriously, forget that guy. bullet dodged." and you're angrily muttering about how Afuko's gonna have to dodge the bazooka you're gonna smuggle onto the plane

"We cannot be best friends if you end up in jail because you tried to smuggle a bazooka onto the plane." "I just wanna talk to him...with a bazooka." "No." "Pleas-" "No."

telling Sam you might be getting feelings for Jamie and being nervous he'd be mad because of their relationship in S1, but you promise he's changed, and Sam is like, I know

wearing the Obisanya jersey and the rest of the boys are like 'hey why don't you ever support our merch' so like every match you're switching out jerseys before texting a pic to the groupchat

running into that Francis guy who's Afuko's right-hand man and "accidentally" stepping on his foot real hard like OOPS

giving him updates on your love life and vice versa. "Y/N, please tell me this one is not a loser." "Um, Sam, shut up; you know my rizz only seems to work on losers??" "hey, Jamie told me that telling a woman my favourite movie is Ratatouille is a bad idea... is it?" "just bake her a lasagna or something and say that's how you learnt to cook." "I am not doing that." "dammit, I thought we'd get lasagna for dinner"

doing random tiktok trends or challenges - the baking one where one person is blind, one is deaf, and one is mute, but they all gotta work together to bake a cake!! sam (tape around his mouth) x you (blindfolded) x jamie (loud ass headphones on)

jamie: pass the FOOKIN sugah!! *back turned to yall as he stirs the mix*

you: WHAT. WHERE. *randomly smacking shit, picking up the salt and dropping it on the counter and onto a spoon*

sam: mmmhnph! *waving his hands in your face like NO but you can't see*

you: *turning to jamie with a spoonful, which he probs tastes absentmindedly whilst stirring* OI TASTE THIS

jamie: FOOKS SAKE

[etheries1015]

BOOK 7 SPOILERS BELOW

I finally decided to suck it up and catch up with twst book 7, I stopped after seeing Silver cry because I'm sCARED OF BEING SAD 😭😭 anyway here's a few reactions I had to it 😭

And hearing about the update coming soon-ish to ENG servers I really need to read up

Lilia pressuring Epel like the old man he is 😭😭 I love the moments that they remind us just how old Lilia actually is and how he sees most if not all the students as if they were his children/grand children, making sure they get the most out of the party and drink...its giving "What do you mean you're not hungry? Absolutely not. Here Is at least 5 servings of whatever dish I made to help u grow big and strong."

Okay I didn't take a screen shot of it but the entire section where Lilia looked kind of guilty with Ortho about exchanging addresses because you just KNOW he probably isn't gonna check in, presumably because he doesn't want anyone to get More attached to him seeing as he is nearing the end of his life span (crying shaking throwing up)

THIS. THIS. THIS INTERACTION HE HAD WITH US. I LOVE HIM. I AM SO SILLY FOR HIM. I totally forgot I changed my in-game name from my nickname to my REAL name and when he said my name I verbally yelled "WHAT THE HELL" before giggling and kicking my feet hehehehe I'm clinically insane for him

But the fact that he acknowledged us as Malleus friend probably means we've spent a lot of time at the dorms or around Lilia for him to see how our friendship and interactions with him work, and it melts my heart hehe. Being part of the diafam fr. But honestly bro back me up, I'm tired of being called a hench-human 😭💀

I wonder just how bad we must look with everyone noticing the strange shift??? Either we REALLY made a scene (tripping over, going pale) or the twst boys are just that attentive to us and I think that is the sweetest thing ever 😭😭 Ace and Deuce is so sweet for thinking of us and trying to get us out while also being polite to the people who kindly held the party. Despite not being there long, ace and deuce is willing to skip out on free food and drinks in order to make sure you're okay and I'm just 😭😭 ANGELS. I LOVE THEM.

But also the way Lilia worries for you is so sweet 😭💜 I should write a fic of sick reader and Lilia, or reader trying to tough it out because I know for a FACT Lilia would not let that slide! (Hypocrite 😐)

I ACTUALLY DROPPED MY JAW WHEN SEBEK SAID THIS SHIT. I WAS. WHAT. WHAT THE HELL LMFAOOOOO 😭 thats fucking insane bro I actually found myself chastising him thru the phone, I would NOT let that discrimination against humans bullshit pass fr 😭 slap him right upside the head and give him a stern talking to. I like seeing Lilia get frustrated, he's so cute and UGH. Although it went in one ear out the other, Seeing Lilia mad is so hot if I'm being real with y'all rn BUAHAHA.

I didnt screen shot this either (and I can't fit anymore photos on this post smh) but Silvers nose being red and obvious he was crying but Lilia confused. DudE OF COURSE he was crying!!! You're his dad!! You raised him since he was a baby, he's just now going into adulthood and doing that WITHOUT HIS DAD who is going to a far away land! Sure, traveling is a thing , but honestly nothing beats having that support just a moments away. Silver is literally the sweetest and wants to support his dad , but who's going to support him????!?! Lilia is putting him in a position where Silver feels the need to be strong and hide his tears for Lilias sake, but of course this is hard on him, its so sudden, too! Being so close to your parent and next thing you know mere days later they are stripped away from your arms?!

I just want to give them all hugs. Lilia obviously has some issues and misconstrued ideas of love (a million people have made posts and comments on this, so I will not repeat it) and I just. Need them to all sit around and be their mediator while we go thru their emotional states.

Ugh. I was in my twst burnout stage and still low key am, but fuck does it spark so much passion in you 😭😭

[admirxation]

hello! could you recommend some leon x reader fics? I love your fics and the fics you reblog, so I was wondering if there was anything you would like to recommend. sorry to bother 😭😋

Hey there anon, thank you so much for the support and thank you so much for this ask, it's time to show some fics that I cannot stop thinking about. also dw about bothering me i love having asks <3

Just wanted to note that I also have a tag 'admirxation fic recs' if you're ever looking for some more recommendations and of course I reblog like mad with fics I love.

This isn't everything but I feel like it's a good handful to get yourself into. I will warn these recs are NSFW but if you're aware of my writing you know I literally nonstop thinking about smut haha.

some oneshots I recommend:

Pretty Owner by @elfven-blog -> smut 18+, hybrid puppy leon. AHHHH the hybrid craze has me in a chokehold like omfg, but i gotta say this is my all time favourite oneshot if you're looking for some hybrid fun.

step-dad oneshot by @chrosllo -> if you're a follower of my blog you know dark content is not a shy topic here, if you're looking for some stepcest, somno action this is where to go, I was blushing so goddamn hard when reading this.

Like Lovers Do by @dollfacefantasy -> 18+ public sex, with a friends with benefits vibe to it. hehehehehe i was kicking my feet blushing with every word

Pieces of a whole by @xoxostarlet -> 18+, older Leon and hooker reader (imagine the film pretty woman... but sexier and better) hehehehe i loved it, duh, the hooker fantasy is honestly such a turn on like im clawing at the bars of my enclosure HELP.

Heavenly creatures by @porcelainseashore -> 18+ Leon and catholic school girl. I read this one recently, and it does have a lot of religious imagery as well as catholic guilt, as someone who is an ex catholic i really resonated with the way it was written, it was such a weird experience like i was sitting there like i was here for a horny time now im having an existential crisis lmao. but it's a must read, their writing has a beautiful quality to it.

Teachers Pet by @d10nyx -> darker teacher x student relationship (power imbalance going on). If you're into the older Leon fics this is a yummy treat that I am not embarrassed to admit that I actually reread many times because it makes me feel all happy and good hehehehehe

Multipart series I recommend:

Should've been a son by @rigorwhoring -> this involves smut, noncon, incest (daddy daughter relationship), police corruption. If you're into dead dove this defo itches a certain scratch and this series left me on the edge of my seat at all times, it is also complete so if you wanna binge this series, go straight for it it's a really good read.

Into the Ether by @porcelainseashore -> 18+ with smut, angst, blood drinking, if you're really into vampires this is amazing. It is still being updated, but I would recommend getting straight into it, the updates are frequent and ah it deserves so much more love.

All the damn vampires by @elfven-blog -> we see a theme with my vampire obsession (my profile is literally astarion we are not shocked lmao). this series is a little slower in getting published (honey, I wait patiently for this series to return), but the writing in this is top tier.

Creepy re2 Leon, rpd Captain's Daughter reader by @valslullaby -> 18+, non-con, mommy kink, cannibalism. this one is another darker concept but ooooo does this writer have a way of connecting me with every word I LOVED IT SO MUCH AFFJKOYESGKUEWGJHRWA

[usernamesarehard1]

I feel like we don't talk enough about Call's backstory. I mean, it was really tragic and set the stage for all of his emotional turmoil throughout the series.

He lives in a town where his dad is considered crazy/insane/etc, and so everyone assumes that Call is crazy too or that Alastair is causing some kind of harm to him.

Adults and children alike hate him solely because they don't understand him. He is literally physically and verbally attacked and beaten constantly by his classmates for being disabled and for being "weird", and the teachers do nothing about it. Like he actually canoncially experiences constant abuse

And then he gets home and he can't even really open up to his dad, the ONLY person in his life, because Alastair is so emotionally closed off due to his own traumas. And then he has to worry about Alastair instead of worrying about himself.

Like, Call was literally traumatized and thought that he was an awful person because everyone told him he was and physically punished him for his existence.

And I am in no way an expert on any psychological disorders but when I have read about the basics of certain ones, it would not surprise me if Call would be diagnosed with some of them irl. Like when I was researching "quiet bpd" at one point it sounded just like Call to me. He has no sense of person identity and tears himself down inside thinking he is a terrible person, while simultaneously going back and forth between putting his friends on a pedestal and distrusting them entirely. And we see in the books how he is very clingy to Aaron and Tamara, especially Aaron, and has to use them as a safety net for himself. And how he is just constantly terrified of abandonment, especially by Aaron and Tamara. And how he isolated himself so much and struggles to process or express his emotions.

And when I read a bit about ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) I sounded similar to Call. Like, Call does seem to have a distrust for and rejection of authority in the beginning of the series, which makes sense because the authority in his life (teachers, etc) only put him down for struggling. It isn't until he realizes Rufus has his best interests at heart (most of the time) that be begins to trust him, but he is still very wary of the other Masters and Assembly members. And from what I have read ODD tends to primarily affect children and becomes easier to move past as they get older so Call slowly becoming more trusting of authority over the course of the books makes sense.

(Sorry if I didn't explain those things well, it's very indepth in my brain but hard to put into words)

Obviously these two diagnoses are very broad spectrums but it would not surprise me if Call feel somewhere on them.

And then of course Call obviously has social anxiety and depression in the books. And it would not surprise me if he had some sort of PTSD going into the Magisterium based on his upbringing. And I have seen a few people say that his Evil Overlord List could be a sign of a specific type of OCD.

Like, Call was a KID. This was the only world he ever knew. In his most impressionable years he knew nothing but hate from people outside his family and very limited emotional support or connection inside his family.

Again, I'm no expert on any of these things. I just have basic info, but when I did learn immediately made me think of Call. Tbh I feel anxious about posting this because I'm terrified I have something wrong here or that i am misremembering something. I just wanted to share the connections my brain made.

I really wish the books had more about Call's friendship with Aaron and Tamara helping all of them to start heal through each other's comfort since none of them ever really had that emotional support prior to each other.

And tbh I'm kinda surprised Rufus didn't notice a lot of what was going on with Call. I really wish the books had delved into that more rather than having Rufus get mad at Call for his trauma responses.

Also, what happens when Call goes home during the summer (especially when Aaron wasn't there)? Was he attacked again? Was he verbally harassed again? Did he return to the Magisterium with bruises or anything? The books did say that he would often have injures from the attacks by his classmates (I remember them mentioning a black eye, split lip, and bandaged arm in one flashback).

I have just been thinking about it a lot recently.

[ro-writesstuff]

Hi, Ro! First of all let me claim this 🐻 emoji can I? since I'm your anon fans haha. But it's true bcs I really adore your writing, they always made my day so thanks!

Sooo, I'd like to request an Ollie oneshot or imagine. I've my own prompt and plot if you're okay with it. Here is mine:

Ollie had been dating Y/N for couple of years but they kept it a secret from everyone. One day Ollie was doing a stream with his fans, he told Y/N about it and she planned to stay in the room so that she wouldn't be in the spotlight while Ollie was streaming. However, Y/N accidentally went to the room where Ollie was streaming bcs she couldn't find her stuff and the fans saw Y/N, then they started asking who Y/N was. Y/N tried to cover up about who she was bcs she worried Ollie would be mad, but Ollie did the opposite.

Ollie invited her to join the stream and did a go public. Y/N was scared bcs she was just a very ordinary british girl, she was just a nerd when most drivers tend to date someone famous, also everything was too sudden, she was afraid that Ollie's fans wouldn't like the idea of their fav driver already had a partner but Ollie comforted her, and they read those messages from the fans admired her beauty even supported their relationship. Maybe there's cute part when both of them answered some of fans questions about them.

Some prompt from me if you wanna use:

"She may look ordinary but I love her a lot, like a looooot. Also, my girl is bloody smart, soon to be my engineer!"

"See? They say you are beautiful! I know right?!"

"I love her bcs she makes the best smoothies in the world."

SORRY BCS IT'S VERY LONG BUT I JUST WANT TO WRITE WHAT'S IN MY HEAD BUT THE REST IS UP TO YOU. Thank youuu x

-anon🐻

Ollie Bearman- Why

a/n: first thank you so much that’s so sweet of you 🥹🥰 and yes ofc you can take that emoji! okay I LOVE the idea of secretive/protective bf Ollie! not that he doesn’t want to show you off, he 100% does, but he just doesn’t want the press to invade your personal space, etc. also I’m thinking childhoodfriend!reader… hope this is okay!

pairing: ollie bearman x childhoodfriend!reader

summary: you accidentally join ollie's stream causing you guys to go public with your relationship.

warnings: cursing

word count: 1,239

not my gif!

~

You and Ollie had been keeping your relationship secret for a while. You’d known Ollie your entire life, him being the perfect boy-next-door when you moved to Essex for your dad’s job. It was hard for you to adapt to your new school and environment, so you were always at Ollie’s house. He’d always been friendly and kind, and overall was a great person. 

The few times you were out in public with Ollie after he got into F2, a few people noticed him and asked you to take their picture with him. It never bothered you; you were always happy that people recognized him for his hard work. 

People remembered you as that one girl Ollie hangs out with. They saw glimpses of you, but no one knew that you two were together. You two had been dating for 2 and a half years, and things couldn’t be going better. You’d moved in together a few months ago, and were talking about getting engaged; he even suggested starting to look for rings. 

“I’m gonna start streaming in like half an hour, okay?” “Okay.”  “Okay. I love you.”  “I love you too.”

Now you were sitting on you and Ollie’s couch, waiting for his livestream to be over. He told you that he’d be about an hour, which was normal for one of his streams. When he isolated himself into his room, you cleaned up a few things around the house, enjoying the quiet and peacefulness that echoed through the house. Ollie was always energetic and lively, but you needed some quiet time. Unfortunately without him, you were getting bored now. His livestream had gone on an extra twenty minutes longer than he said it would be. 

Over the course of a few months, you’d picked up the hobby of crocheting. You had made little dinosaurs and flowers and gave them to your friends. Your current project was a brown teddy bear since Ollie’s birthday was coming up, but you couldn’t find it. You tore apart your room looking for it. It took you months to get the little feet right, and its hands. Then it hit you

You probably left it in Ollie’s room since he wanted you to stay with him last night. 

“Baby please stay. You’re warm.”  “You’re gonna fall asleep.” You chuckled.  “That’s the point. Please, princess?” “Fine. Only ‘cause you’re cute when you’re needy.”

After he nodded off, you sneaked out of his room and grabbed his gift and sat in his desk chair, watching him sleep as you crocheted.

You looked around the floor, scanning for the half finished teddy bear. “Babe, have you seen my-” 

“Y/N-”

“I swear it was right here.” You looked at Ollie who had wide eyes and a worried expression on his face, gesturing with his eyes towards the camera. He got up, trying to block your face from the camera. 

“Oh crap.”

You glanced towards the screen, seeing the comments blowing up. 

who is that?? 

is that his gf? 

wait she looks familiar!!!

You rushed out of the room, swearing at yourself. You guys had been so careful about your relationship for the past few years, and now you’d gone and ruined it. You started pacing into the hallway, eventually ending up in the living room. 

Oh shit. Oh shit. What had you just done? Ollie would be forever mad at you. You heard Ollie quickly excuse himself from the livestream, hearing his footsteps coming closer and closer. Oh god. You started to panic, your breathing becoming faster and your chest feeling heavy. 

“Love?”

You only groaned in response. 

“Hey. It’s okay.” 

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, Ol. Shit.”

“Y/N,” He sat down next to you, putting his arm around you. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

“Y/N,” His voice was soothing and reassuring. “Just breathe, baby. It’s alright.”

“Fuck. Fuck. I’m so sorry,” He pulled you into his chest, stroking your hair.

“Shh. It’s okay, baby. Just breathe.”

~ 

It’d been about a week since the incident, you and Ollie laying low for the first few days, then slowly getting back on social media. Ollie had reassured you that everything was going to be okay, which it was. After it wasn’t a sore subject anymore, he suggested a Q&A so people would get to know you a little better. To his surprise, you said yes. So here you were, sat in front of his camera.

“Hey guys! This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Today we’ll be answering some of your guys’ questions.” He turned to you and wrapped  his arm around you, giving you some support. 

“Hi.” You’d felt a little anxious, since you never had been much of a vlogger or a YouTuber, so it was all new territory for you. You started reading the comments to yourself, and to your surprise they were actually really nice. You’d heard horror stories of drivers’ girlfriends getting death threats and whatnot. 

Wait she’s actually really pretty

Aww they’re so cute!!!! 🥰🥰

#imgonnabealoneforever

I love your hair!!!

The way he looks at herrrrrrr. God 😭🥹

If he looked at me like that i’d melt on the spot ngl 

You giggled at some of the comments, letting Ollie take the reins as he answered questions about him in the Ferrari Academy. You got more comfortable as you listened to him talk about driving, as some of the questions veered towards your guys’ relationship.

how long have you guys known each other?

First date storytime!!!! please!!!!

One question in particular caught your eye: Why did you hide your relationship for so long? 

“Honestly, it was Ollie,” You answered honestly. “Guess he didn’t want me revealing his deepest darkest secrets during parties and events. I get chatty when I’m nervous,” You explained.

“No,” He said, hugging you closer to him. “Just didn’t want the press getting to you, love.” He placed a kiss on your temple

do you have a job/career? If so what is it??? <3

“Oh, well actually, I’m in school right now, but I’m aiming to be an engineer.” 

“My smart girl!” He said, pinching your cheek. 

“Ow.” You said, swatting his hand away. You chuckled at him, smiling at him.

You both answered a few more questions, laughing and making fun of each other until you both stopped and read the same one:

just curious, r u guys thinking long term? I love u guys btw!!!

“Oh, um,” You looked over at Ollie, seeing how he was going to answer the question. He did the same. 

“I think so. I really like her, so-”

“Actually, I kinda hate you, baby. I forgot to tell you.” You joked.

You guys said good-bye to the fans and ended the livestream and decided to watch a movie. 

~ 

You were laying with Ollie on the couch. For some reason you’d still felt guilty about what happened. 

“You okay? You’re so tense all of a sudden.”

“I’m sorry about the whole livestream situation, honey,” The words came out on their own. “I know you didn’t want our relationship to come out like that.” You said, looking up at him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay my love. I know it was an accident. No need to apologize,” He leaned forward and kissed you on the forehead.

You looked back at the screen, feeling the stress leaving your body.

“Honey?”

“Hmm?”

“What were you looking for, anyway?”

“Oh, um, you’ll find out soon enough."

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Ok, I just caught up on last week's episode yesterday, after a busy week with both a guest and some mild food poisoning, so I am going to take my time and enjoy today's episode, because I deserve this dammit!

Lol, I was thinking sleeping together was a bold choice in a room full of people, and how they must not care if anyone knows...

Guess Peem lucked out to wake up first. Silly boy.

Haha, Peem is such a little doof, and I relate. I make faces like that when I'm alone too.

Kluen, sweetie, I don't think you're evil, but you do need to learn to pick up on vibes.

God I love Phuwin's physical comedic acting.

Ok, Kluen does get points for communication.

And Peem, dude, you're just leading Kluen on by pretending you don't like Phum. Give the guy a break.

Arg, nevermind, Kluen backed out of being clear too! These boys!

My heart, these little moments when Fang's sheer delight in Tan slips through.

Also adoring Fang being happy about his brother's crush.

Gaaaah, the chemistry between these two.

I love that they are explicitly making fun of the jealous boyfriend trope here.

If I have time, I really want to do a write-up of all the ways this show is gently making fun of or subverting so many traditional BL tropes, all while utilizing the most traditional of BL formats (ie university).

Poor Q, they really need to stop jerking him around. He's trying to do what Toey said!

Ok, I still think this plan was unnecessary, but it may be worth it for this shot alone.

Q really must be in love, because I'm not sure I would be that immediately forgiving.

Finally!!!

Phum & Peem are the couple I desperately need to make out, these two are the ones where Q just smiling at Toey makes me all happy.

Ok, good, Q is mad, just at his friends. Makes sense to me!

Phum, nooooo. Bringing up the slave contract was the exact wrong way to handle this!

Oh, but the way this show takes every relationship bump and directly spins it into a friendship support moment is just golden.

Beer once again being the episode's secret MVP.

Can we please have a Papang cameo where he shows up to date Beer? Our boy needs some smooches.

Totally normal about this hand placement.

Omg, and Chain lifting him in the water, I'm dead, just dead.

Coming out of a My Engineer rewatch, where the jealousy was just at an absolutely insane degree, can we take a moment to appreciate the evolution of the seme in these stories?

This is so healthy and mature, I adore it!!!

Oh god, though, the way Phum was surprised his apology was just accepted... this says a lot about his past experiences. Do we think it's his dad who's unforgiving?

Haha, Peem, "don't know" if you like him my ass.

Omg, Phum's smile, Peem's slip has given him life.

Haha, and then the roses!

And the painting! Oh, this is just perfect.

OMG FINALLY!!!

[peeves-gurl]

Fic based on this request!!

Here we go!! This was the first time I got a request, and the first time I wrote a fic based on a request, so I hope you like it!!

Warnings: My weird imagination, fluff, family argument, use of Y/N, idiot Ron

“You look beautiful Ronnie!” The twins said in unison as they walked into the common room.

The place was nearly empty, except for a few first and second year students, who weren’t yet allowed to go to Hogsmeade on weekends. The twins, on the other hand, had been banned from going to Hogsmeade for a month as a punishment from their mother for the a recent prank that McGonagall had written to her about.

“That’s literally not funny,” Ron moaned, covered in tiny porcupine quills that he grew after eating a cookie his older brothers offered him.

“We think it’s hilarious,” Fred smirked back.

“Bloody comical,” George supported.

“Fuck you! You’ve always used me as some kind of lab rat for your experiments.” Ron said, his temper rising.

“It’s because you didn’t let us use good old Wormtail,” Fred mocked.

“Oh shut the hell up George! Get this rubbish off me, and keep your worthless experiments limited to yourself.” Ron shouted, turning a few heads in his direction as everyone in the common room became interested in this fight. “Do you think it’s funny, troubling others for your entertainment? You’ve always done this to me, right since I was a baby!”

“No we haven’t. And I’m George, not him.” George corrected. “We only got into pranking after we turned seven.”

“C’mon mate, at least own up! You were the one who turned my Teddy Bear into a spider when I was three, weren’t you?”

“Are you actually still mad over that?” Fred asked amusedly.

“I’m actually mad over the audacity that you have, to think you’ll make a living out of this.” He said, pointing to the still growing quills. “I’m bloody sure you’ll end up as nothing, probably having to marry rich girls like Y/N to have a decent life!”

“Stay within your limits Ronald.” Fred scolded, and George quickly stepped in between his brothers to put an end the argument.

“Move, Fred, or George, whichever one you are!” Ron shouted, trying to shove George out of the way.

“What do you mean ‘whichever one’? Can you actually not tell the difference between your own brothers?” George said, immediately forgetting that he was trying to maintain peace.

“How does that matter? You’re both exactly the same, pathetic and useless.” Ron rolled his eyes. “Now get these stupid quills off me before I stab you with them.”

“No,” George said angrily.

“No?” Ron repeated.

“No. Not until you apologize for what you said about my girlfriend,” Fred agreed.

“I will not, because it’s true.” Ron said back.

Fred pushed George out of the way, angrily stepping up in front of his younger brother, towering over him. Unbeknownst to the three of them, Y/N had walked into the common room, having just returned to the castle from Hogsmeade. She paused in her steps, shocked to see the Weasleys fighting in this way.

“Do you know how much it hurts us to realise that our own family can’t tell us apart? None of you lot, not even Mum and Dad know us as anything other than ‘the twins’.” Fred shouted, and Y/N’s heart broke when his voice cracked with emotion.

“Y/N is our best friend Ron,” George said. “She’s the only one who’s ever been able tell us apart. You don’t know what your saying when you tell us Fred’s with her for the money. We love her because she makes us feel like we’re individuals, like we have a personality outside of just being twins.”

Before things could get worse, Y/N walked up to the boys, intending to end the debate. She marched up to them quickly, engulfing Fred in a hug, and she could feel the anger ebb out his body as his shoulders relaxed. She reached up to slightly peck his lips, before stepping away to hand a bag of his favourite sweets from Honeydukes.

She moved towards George next, giving him a little squeeze and handing his bag of sweets to him.

“Ron,” she said calmly yet strictly, finally turning her attention to the younger Weasley, “It’s really not nice of you to not be able to tell your brothers apart.”

“It doesn’t matter, love. Let’s go outside.” Fred insisted.

“Just give me a minute Freddie.” She said, continuing to look at Ron, who was now beginning to get nervous.

“Can you guess the sweets in those bags, by any chance?” She asked.

“Treacle Tart, Chocolate Frogs and Pumpkin pie.” Ron replied, slightly more tensed than before.

“Yes, but whose bag has which ones?’ she asked again.

“I don’t know,” Ron said meekly.

“I’ll give you another chance, Ron. Everyone knows these two love Purple and Orange,” she said, pointing to the bright ‘Weasleys Wizard Wheezes’ logo on a flyer lying in the common room. “But do you know who added which one?”

“No,” Ron said again, his ears turning red with embarassment, and there were a few snickers passed around the others in the room.

“Do you lot not have homework?” she said, addressing a younger students, who immediately ran off at being addressed by a prefect. “You don’t know anything about them individually, do you?” she asked, turning her attention back to the guilty Weasley boy in front of her.

“I’m really sorry,” he said softly, and his voice did indicate the truth behind those words.

“You should be,” Fred said finally.

With a quick swish of her wand, Y/N made the quills disappear, and began to lead the twins outside the common room.

“I’m sorry,” Ron repeated, this time to his brothers, “I should have made an effort to know you both better.”

“I suppose it’s not too late,” George said, giving Ron a small smile.

“And don’t you dare talk shit about my girlfriend again.” Fred warned.

“I won’t, sorry!” Ron smiled back, and Y/N quickly dug out a bunch of chocolate frogs from her pocket for him.

They walked out of the common room together, before George bid them goodbye and headed off in the opposite direction to look for Angelina.

“Thanks love,” Fred whispered, placing a quick peck onto her lips. “I really appreciate you, have I ever told you?”

“Yes, but keep going.” She whispered back, stealing another kiss, and it felt much better when she finally felt him smile against her lips.

[icedragonlizard]

New information on my "Memories Still At A Halt" AU!

Considering that today is Father's Day, I figured it'd be a good time to talk about this.

Here's the synopsis for the AU just as a reminder. I wrote this AU's synopsis a few months ago, and gave it some small editing to keep it up to date. (As I now headcanon Susie and Marx being friends, I adapted that for the AU and tweaked the synopsis accordingly)

But anyways, without further ado, let's get right into the new information I've installed onto this AU!

NOTE: I'm going to be putting a 'Keep reading' tag down below because this is a lot of new information. Please click it if you want to see it all!

New information for "Memories Still At A Halt":

-Even after being brought back, it still gets on Haltmann's nerves every time Susie tries to refer to him as dad. Because he's stubbornly insisted non-stop that he doesn't want to her to call him dad, she's reluctantly having to call him "Max" or "Haltmann" when in direct conversation with him. Unsurprisingly, she absolutely hates this.

-Susie, at first, doesn't announce it to any of her friends when she first brings her dad back. She tried to keep it a secret at first until Magolor and Marx visit the HWC headquarters a few days after Haltmann came back. And even then, she aggressively pleaded those two to not tell anyone else for a while. She was uncomfortable with announcing her dad's revival until almost 2 months later when her internal grief over his still-erased-memories overwhelms her to the point of snapping, "admitting defeat", and gradually reaching out to other people about it.

-For a while, Susie was especially afraid of telling Taranza that she brought her dad back, because she felt like he'd be jealous and would ask how to bring Sectonia back. But she wouldn't be able to answer as she doesn't know how to summon a clockwork star because, again, it wasn't her who activated that one. However, she does eventually tell him, but he's the last of her friends to be informed about it. More on that later.

-Because Taranza was the one that Susie was most uncomfortable with announcing her dad's revival to at first, it's the Mage Sisters who she first goes to when she begins to vent to others about her grief over her dad still not remembering her as his daughter. Francisca, being Susie's second bestie, is the one that gives her the most support and comfort during this.

-Francisca is the main one helping Susie keep some of her remaining sanity before Taranza gets informed about what's going on. Thanks, blue woman! She's been helping Susie hold it together during this ongoing struggle.

-Kirby is informed about Haltmann's revival later than the Mage Sisters learn it, but before Taranza. Susie comes over to tell Kirby about it and even brings him to the HWC headquarters to see Haltmann, letting Kirby see it for himself that Haltmann still cannot see Susie as his daughter. He'd had known their backstory beforehand because Susie told him... but actually seeing this for himself hits a new level of sad. Needless to say, Kirby feels terrible.

-Susie eventually tells Taranza when he asks her "is something wrong?" when he notices she's been a lot more cagey around him lately. She understood that he was eventually going to know and that he even deserved to know, so she reluctantly confessed. He reacts like she predicted... jealous and that he asked her how to summon a clockwork star, but she couldn't answer. She also tried to discourage him from doing it because she claims that Sectonia would just come back corrupted. After all, Haltmann came back wrong, so it'd be logical to assume the same thing would happen for Sectonia.

-Continuation from last point, Taranza argues that even if Sectonia came back wrong, he could "fix her". Not just that, but Marx also tells Taranza that gathering star power activates a clockwork star (Susie got mad at Marx for that), further enticing Taranza to attempt a Milky Way Wishes style mission. But then Susie snapped and showed Taranza how she interacts with her dad, showing that it's unlike a daughter-father relationship and that it stresses Susie out so much that Haltmann still doesn't see her as his daughter.

-After seeing Haltmann in person... Taranza eventually changed his mind. It made him really sad to see what he saw. He feels horrible for Susie, and then came to recognize how dangerous it would be to bring Sectonia back. He didn't want to at first, but he eventually came to accept not bringing her back. In fact, Sectonia would actually be much worse than Haltmann. Haltmann's threat came from being the HWC's president, but Susie stripped that from him, meanwhile Sectonia would still be a monster wasp if brought back that Taranza would risk his life trying to handle.

-Eventually, the revival of Haltmann then becomes known to many others. The rest of the dream friends find out about it. Susie got to the point where she no longer cared how many people knew about it after Taranza learned. That being said, most of the other dream friends only see Haltmann when Susie takes him with her while going on a Popstar vacation. An exception being Ribbon, who Susie is distant friends with, as she let her in the HWC's headquarters to see.

-Bad moments happen involving Meta Knight, Dark Meta Knight, and Daroach:

When Meta Knight first learned about Haltmann's revival, he was initially bewildered, and then became suspicious, and wondered if Susie was "up to something". She immediately swore no! There was also about to be a fight between Meta Knight and Haltmann (initiated by the latter), which embarrassed the heck out of Susie as she went all in to try and stop it. Fortunately, Kirby and Magolor come around to help ease tension.

Because Susie doesn't get along with Dark Meta Knight at all, Haltmann also has bad impressions on the mirror world knight. In fact, he even tries to pick a fight with DMK, but then gets violently stabbed. This causes huge distress for Susie even if it was Haltmann that started shit with him.

Daroach is another person that Susie doesn't get along with, because he's stolen from the HWC many times. Haltmann has snapped at him for it a few times, but it got to the point where Susie had to get the old man to cut it out.

No worries, Haltmann easily survives being physically attacked by DMK.

-If I'm being honest, there probably isn't much in the way of Haltmann's interactions with King Dedede, Bandana Waddle Dee, Adeleine, Gooey, and the animal friends. Susie has largely neutral dynamics with those people (except for ChuChu, who she does have a distant friendship with) and so there's not much they do in the story. Sorry if this bit is disappointing!

-Even though Haltmann gradually becomes nicer, he still ends up calling people vitriolic nicknames many times. He's called a lot of the cast insults.... even Susie, who he literally calls a wild savage at the start in his initial burst of anger! He's also called Magolor and Marx savages at first meet, and has called insulting nicknames to many others (including DMK, which lead to Haltmann getting slashed).

-This story happens after Forgotten Land's events, which by that point Susie has had plenty of character development in and has unlearned calling people "savages" to the point she does not condone Haltmann calling people that after he's been brought back. When he calls someone a nickname, it forces Susie to do damage control every time. It pisses her off. It's part of the reason why she didn't really want some people to see him at first.

-Thankfully, Taranza and the Mage Sisters don't ever get called horrible names by Haltmann because Susie made DAMN sure that didn't happen! Those are the people where she would've really drawn the line if Haltmann dared call them anything. She FORCED him to be polite to those people. Unfortunately, she failed to get him to not call Kirby an insult because Haltmann remembers that "pink savage", which embarrassed Susie. She apologizes to Kirby for being insulted by Haltmann.

-Marx thought it was absolutely hilarious that Susie technically stole someone's clockwork star wish to get Haltmann back. Because, uh, Marx also famously stole a wish. But the two situations obviously aren't very comparable, because Marx clearly did that on purpose as he was plotting, Susie didn't do that as she was just taking up a shocking opportunity presented in front of her. Still, that doesn't stop Marx from finding it funny as heck what Susie did.

-Susie does not let Haltmann work in any position of the HWC. She just lets him chill out in the company's headquarters most of the time while having him get better. There are many instances where she leaves the headquarters to go to places while Haltmann stays behind, with the Haltworkers to take care of him in Susie's brief absences.

-Magolor showed Haltmann the mask of his likelihood that was made for Merry Magoland. It stoked Haltmann's pride!

-After a few years in, when Haltmann improves well enough, Susie lets him shake hands with her friends. Well, except for Marx because you can't really shake hands with that guy's golden wings.

-Even though Haltmann still doesn't recognize Susie as his daughter, he does become kind and caring enough to her to the point of even being protective of her. That's what led to him picking fights that make Susie embarrassed. He's "protective" of her in a way that actually ends up just causing more problems. (example: he gets aggressive with Meta Knight after the man insinuated Susie was "up to something" after bringing Haltmann back)

-Haltmann doesn't have good introductions with some of Susie's friends... namely Magolor, Marx and Kirby because he's insulted all of them at first, but things get better. In fact, he even comes to get along with Magolor pretty well because that guy's also a techie. Thankfully, there's no bad introductions that Haltmann has with Taranza and the Mage Sisters because Susie didn't even let them near him until she was confident he wouldn't be mean to them. He gets along with Taranza and Francisca quite well because, uh, they are Susie's two besties.

-The HWC headquarters is where Haltmann resides about 99% of the time. Like said earlier, Susie doesn't bother taking him with her when she goes to places a lot of the time, as she just lets the Haltworkers supervise him. She thinks Haltmann isn't really in good enough health to be out of the headquarters much. She did take him with her in a Popstar vacation once, but that's about it. The Haltworkers do let him around in other places in the company's headquarters, but he mostly stays within the planet of the location.

-Haltmann does not care about ice cream very much (to Susie's dismay), but he loves chicken to the point where Susie has had to get Haltworkers to open an entire restaurant dedicated to chicken just for him.

-There literally exist early photos of Susie and Haltmann back when the former was just a child. She showed these photos to him when she tried explaining the entire backstory to him, but he's in disbelief and even went as far as to say those photos were edited. This makes her absolutely seething on the inside. But eventually, as he gradually becomes less stubborn, he slowly becomes more "understanding" that the photos are real, even if he still struggles to believe it.

-At one point, despite the horrible start, Haltmann praises Susie for what she's done with the HWC ever since he died and then came back. She's taken it in a better direction in pretty much every sense of the word. Even though he initially complained about it (including pointing out the "lack of infinite prosperity") because he was the exact same as he was in Planet Robobot when he first came back, he became more understanding over time as he realized how much better things actually are now.

-Haltmann is glad that Star Dream is destroyed. He came to hate the machine after Susie explained what happened to him.

-There was a long period where Susie did not sing "Noble Haltmann", as that was when Haltmann was dead. But after bringing him back, she's then come around to singing that song again in hopes he'll remember her. It... hasn't fully worked yet, but he likes the song as it's great music to his ears! If nothing else, it's a good activity Susie does with Haltmann, as it admittedly destresses her a little bit even if it doesn't give the full effect that she wants.

-Overall, Susie and Haltmann has a positive dynamic. Even if it's not the daughter and father dynamic that Susie wants, it's not like they get along badly, because they don't. He's grown nice to her, even if he doesn't actively remember her as his daughter. That hasn't stopped Susie from still perpetually being so stressed about it, though. She wants him to remember so, so bad.

Okay... that's all! Wow, that was a BUNCH of new information for the AU, wasn't it? I've developed this info over time.

If you read it all, thank you!

Happy Father's Day! (even if Haltmann still can't freaking see Susie as his daughter in this AU)

[velvetxkissesx]

come home

izuku midoriya x fem coded reader

after Izuku leaves UA, you and the rest of your class make the decision to drag him back kicking and screaming if you needed to. you go over the recent events that led you up to that moment in time.

WARNINGS: SPOOIIILLEEERRRS FOR SEASON SIX SO IF YOU HAVENT WATCHED OR READ THE MANGA YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. violence, lots of cussing because of katsuki bakugo being present, extremely unedited and unread, it’s so long I hate it so much but I’m posting it anyways because I’ve been obsessed with this idea. it’s a little angsty I suppose

“You know he isn’t going to come easily, right?” You mumbled to Bakugo, as you two walked out of the security gate side by side. The rest of your class behind you.

“Yeah yeah, I’ve kicked his ass once, I’ll do it again and drag him back by his stupid hair,” Bakugo tightened his gauntlets before he looked at you, and finally realized how terrified you were, “Hey, this is going to work idiot, we all have things we need to say to him."

You all made your way, following the gps Endeavor had for him. Everyone’s nerves were high, maneuvering through the streets. There was no way you guys were going to fail this mission. Not when it was something this important. For someone this important.

"Over here, I found him."

-----a few days after izuku left UA

"Bakugo she's still HEALING!" You could hear a loud commotion outside of your hotel room. There wasn't much left in you to care though, not when you were rereading the same scribbled out note that was on your bed. It was even right next to your favorite flower.

You have to understand that not telling you about One for All was hard. There were a lot of times that I wanted to turn to you, but I couldn't. Don't be mad at Kacchan for knowing and not saying anything either, I made him swear. I have so much that I want to tell you, but that will have to wait for now. I am sorry I kept this a secret from you of all people.. You almost died, he almost killed you because he gathered what you meant to me. I have to stay away from UA, away from you, to keep you all safe.

I hope you can forgive me..

Izuku.

Your door busted open, Bakugo being held back by Sero and Denki. He looked at you, and then at the paper in your hands.

"Stop crying and get your ass up, we need to figure this out." Bakugo threw a bag with your uniform in it at you. You looked up at him and the other guys and waved them out of the room so you could get dressed.

......

"Todoroki, I might punch your dad," You mumbled, and the taller boy looked down at you while you all waited to corner him in the principal's office.

"You were just released from the hospital after your heart was slightly punctured, I don't think punching the number one hero is in your best interest," Todoroki half-way joked with you, before his tone went serious again, "If you do it though, you'll have my support."

All of you walked into the principal's office, and Endeavor looked shocked at first before he sighed. He almost seemed to just accept the fact the entirety of Class 1-A was standing in front of him. None of you were happy with him. Bakugo explained to him why you guys needed to go, and you backed up his statement. The two of you, and Todoroki staring down the number one hero. Endeavor tried to argue and talk him out of it, but the principal wouldn't budge. Instead he gave you the okay to track down Midoriya, and bring him back.

----------

Your feet ran faster than you should have been able to, considering it wasn't too long ago your heart was in pretty bad shape. None of that mattered though, your best friend was there. He was there and you were close enough to reach him. You could reach him. All of you were in the area soon enough, Todoroki using his ice to subdue the villain Midoriya was fighting even further. Yaoyorozu helping imprison him even longer.

He didn't even look the same anymore, not even just because he hadn't bathed in who knew how long. His usually bright green eyes were dull, and tired now. You didn't know what you wanted to do more, hug him or punch him for leaving you all behind like that. He was looking around slowly, trying to assess the situation. Finally though, his eyes landed on you.

For a moment he looked relieved, but then his face dropped again.

---------------------

Izuku watched in horror as the black and red shards shot out of Shigaraki, but he wasn't aiming for him. No instead they went for their target, you. One went straight through your chest, another hitting your shoulder, another hitting your leg.

You didn't scream, you didn't even panic. Instead your clouded eyes focused on the one thing that always calmed you down. Izuku Midoriya, with his beautiful green hair, and matching green eyes. The boy that felt like spring to you. You wanted him to be the last thing you saw.

Izuku couldn't move as he watched the blood you coughed up trickle out of the corner of your mouth. Your once bright colored suit now soaked red. Before you went limp, before your eyes closed for what Izuku thought was for good, you said something. Izuku couldn't hear it though, because before he could even process what had happened to you, Bakugo was injured just the same.

-----------------------

“I don't understand, why are you here?" He looked everywhere but you, which made you want to punch him even more.

"We were worried about you," You stepped more towards Bakugo, making sure he couldn't just ignore you. Izuku's eyes flickered towards you again. He grabbed his mask and started to stand up.

"That's nice, but I'm fine really, no need for concern," He put his mask back on his face, "So leave."

Bakugo started to clap.

"Oh yeah, great speech! Wasn't that great?" Bakugo looked at you, you knew he was trying to keep you on track, "Just what we wanted from the famous One For All successor! Real talk, are you able to smile right now?"

"In order to smile.. For everyone to live in peace.." He stood up, and maybe you were just trying to convince yourself but you swore you could've felt him looking at you through his mask, "I have to go, I'm sorry."

Izuku got ready to move, and you took in a deep breath. All of your classmates were already prepared for this, for him to go this route. There was no way he was going to let it happen without a fight.

"You're going to have to make us, ya busted-ass All Might wannabe!" Bakugo taunted.

"We had a feeling that's what you were going to say," Iida sighed, "Let's do this class!"

"You're coming home Izuku." You clenched your fists

---------------------------

You knew it was Bakugo when there was one quick knock, followed by your door handle being shaken, and then more knocks coming after. You opened the door and he shoved a costume case at you, followed by a bag of your fixed up support equipment.

"We have his location, we are going to get him now, and you're coming," Bakugo grumbled, and you raised an eyebrow, "Don't give me that stupid face, I know what the principal said about you hanging back, and I don't give a shit,"

"You guys can do this without me," You sighed and turned into your room. Bakugo let out an annoyed sigh, followed by a lot of mumbling that you could only assume would piss you off if he said it out loud.

"Look, just because your heart got a tiny little hole in it, doesn't mean that you're not capable of helping!" Bakugo snapped, and he grabbed your shoulders to turn you towards him, "That damn idiot needs to see you, standing up, walking, and talking, or else all of this goes to shit!"

"I don't understand why I am such a crucial part to this working!" You shouted, the tears stinging your eyes, "I mean it's not like we were that close anymore, not since we started work-studies! You and Todoroki will be there, Iida will be there, everyone else will be there I don't understand why it all falls apart if I don't come!"

"Do I have to spell this shit out for you? You aren't just a friend to him, just like he isn't for you," Bakugo's tone seemed to soften, even if he was still talking at the same obnoxious volume, "Look, we both have shit that we have to say to him, things we have to confess, so get dressed and come the fuck on,"

You blinked a few times, trying to figure out how Bakugo knew about your feelings for your best friend. It wasn't something you had really shared with anyone.

"You knocked out on the battlefield, you didn't see him after we got stabbed, for a second I thought the idiot might actually rip Shigaraki's ass into pieces," Bakugo's voice was finally quieter, "Once he was on the ground, and he was looking at what we all thought was you lyin' there dead, he told you he loved you, that he was in love with you,"

"W-what?"

"That's why I am saying we need you to help us, he needs to see you okay again, and maybe then we will have a better chance to get through to him."

You nodded your head.

Before you lost consciousness after being stabbed, you told Izuku the same thing.

That you loved him.

-------------------

Everyone had been trying to talk to him, but he just kept trying to run. That was until he fell into your trap. Todoroki was the next line of defense after you, but Izuku wasn't showing any sign of moving once he saw you. He actually dropped once he spotted you on the roof. His mask had fallen off and you were finally getting a good look at his face.

"I am trying to protect you, you have to let me go," Izuku's voice cracked a little, but you shook your head and stepped towards him. He didn't run or back away, he stayed still.

"I am so.. so angry with you," You tried your best to keep your temper and your voice even, "Do you remember, a few nights before the battle even happened, when we were sitting in your dorm room?

---------------------

"I'm happy that I've had you for such a long time, you know that?" Izuku's words caught you off guard, both of you turning red, "I just, I mean, because we are best friends and-"

You looked at him, and gave a small smile, "I'm happy that I have you too, Izuku."

Neither one of you could find the right thing to say next. So instead you both just sat on his bed, and changed the subject to other little things going on. There was one difference though, your pinkies stayed right next to each other, just barely overlapping.

-----------------------

"I had so much more that I wanted to say, but I was too scared to," You stepped closer, "But I'm not scared anymore, so Izuku what I really wanted to say that day, what I said to you after Shigaraki-"

"I know, at least I think I do," Izuku whispered, and you stopped, "Which is just another reason why I have to go, I have to get as far away from you as possible, so that he can't use you against me again."

"Do you really think you being gone is going to stop him from targeting the school? From targeting us?!" You finally let the tears come out, "I am so sorry that you had to see that happen to me, I should have moved faster, but if you think you know what I was going to say that day, then you know why I am not giving up until I know you're safe!"

Izuku stepped forward, and pushed your hair off of your forehead. His lips were chapped, but they still felt so soft against your skin. Both of you seemed to be stuck in time like that, his lips just barely kissing your forehead. There was a silent apology in that moment, a silent confession. Before you could reach for his hand and let him know that it was okay, and that you really did feel it too, he was gone. Todoroki's ice wall was the next thing to catch him. The next plan was in motion.

"We are with you! You don't have to face anything alone!" Tsu shouted at him and the ice began to shake. You ran to the edge of the building, and watched.

"Have you considered this might be exactly what All For One wants?!" Todoroki yelled, "He could go after UA while we are distracted here! You've worn yourself out, and you still don't have a lead on the League, so stop this!"

"Izuku you need a new plan!" You shouted, using your quirk to get up onto the ice with Todoroki so he could hear you, "We are more than ready to help you do just that!"

"If you actually want to save our school, then instead of abandoning it, come back and fight for it!" Todoroki held out an arm to protect you from slipping on the ice that was still struggling to hold Izuku, even though Todoroki was forming even more to try and hold him, "Let's stand together and protect UA!"

'"You can't be near me!" Izuku struggled against the ice.'"You can't be near me!" Izuku struggled against the ice.

"You don't get to make that decision for us!" You yelled, grabbing Todoroki's arm to steady yourself, "Izuku please!"

"You could all die! This is a fight that is destined to take place, between One for All and All for One, the rest of you can't keep up!" Izuku finally broke out of the ice, and Todoroki got you two off of the ice. You looked at him defeated but he gave you a firm nod and got ready for the next phase.

Bakugo was helping Iida get to him. Kaminari placed a firm hand on your shoulder. He was trying to reassure you, silently, as you all cheered for Iida. You flinched forward a little bit, your heart still too exhausted to be doing all of this. Sero and Kaminari both helped you back down onto the ground, where Kirishima was trying to catch them.

"Stop trying to run away from us," You stepped away from the other two boys, walking towards Izuku more, "Don't you get it? We aren't giving up on you, we all agree it is time for you to come back,"

"I wish I could, but I.. I am too scared, there are a lot of people that me coming back could cause trouble for," Izuku's voice was cracking. You grabbed Bakugo's shoulder.

"Do it." You whispered.

----------

"When you said that you have things you needed to confess to him, do I have some competition to worry about?" You opened the door, and Bakugo scoffed before he shook his head.

"No, dumbass, I just owe the idiot an apology," He mumbled, his eyes avoiding your own wide ones, "I owe you one too, but you're going to have to wait,"

"Awe Kacchan, I always knew you were still our friiieennnddd." You teased, trying to lighten both of your moods. The three of you grew up together, and although Bakugo didn't shove you as far away as he did Izuku.. He still distanced himself enough from you.

-----------

The crowd reacted the way you had all expected them too. Izuku had tried to sneak off, but you grabbed his hand. The two of you looked at one another, but he stayed silent. He squeezed your hand slightly. Uraraka was the one to try and take a stand though, floating above the crowd while she defended why he needed to be there. You only let him go when Kota broke through the crowd, running for the boy who once saved him. You stepped back, standing by Bakugo as you watched the crowd change their minds.

"You still need to tell him y'know?" Bakugo muttered, nudging you slightly, "If I could apologize to Izuku in front of our entire class, you can tell him you love him, let it be in private later, but you have to do it,"

"I will, but first he needs to rest, plus Denki was right he needs to take a damn bath."

The boys took charge of making sure that Izuku got a bath. Judging by all of the noise, you could only assume it was going well. You got out of a quick shower, and made your way back to your room. The boys were going to be there awhile, and you were sure that it wouldn't be the right time to have that conversation now. You opened your door though, and let out a scream at the fact there was already another person standing in there.

"I'M SORRY KACCHAN MADE ME COME UP HERE AND WAIT I THOUGHT YOU KNEW!" Izuku's hands frantically waved around as he rushed forward to apologize.

"That idiot really needs to understand that it was more than just a tiny hole," You mumbled, rubbing your chest, "Zuku stop saying you're sorry, it is okay, I just wasn't expecting you, I thought you were still in the bath,"

"Some of the guys still are," Izuku's eyes were focused on where the scar was just barely showing out of your tank top. You closed your door, and grabbed his hand. You were certain he stopped breathing when you put his hand against the left side of your chest.

"It wasn't your fault that I got hurt, I was trying to help you, I knew the risk," You whispered, holding his hand against your heartbeat, "He managed to hit right beside my heart, so it wasn't punctured all the way through, but there was a lot of bleeding, the medics fixed it though,"

Izuku's eyes filled with tears again, as he stared at where his hand was resting. You only moved his hand, so you could hug him. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and pressed your face into his chest. His arms wrapped back around you, his face pressing into your hair. The two of you stood there like that, crying with each other. Taking in the fact that you were both okay, you were both alive.

"I couldn't hear you that day, when you told me, it wasn't until a couple days ago when the moment replayed in my head that I realized what you said," Izuku pulled back, and pulled you back too, "I came to see you before I left, you were asleep, all hooked up to machines and out of surgery for them to fix what quirks couldn't, they said that they were just waiting for you to wake up but that they didn't know when that was going to happen.."

"I didn't until a few days after you left, then I found your note and," You trailed off before you took a deep breath, "Izuku, there is so much happening right now, and I know that everything is a little tense and scary, so maybe it isn't the right time but we both know that there is a lot we need to lay out for each other, so can we just.."

"I love you," You could barely hear him, but he said it first, "You're right, things are tense and scary, we don't know much for certain, but I know how I feel about you, and I can't let myself be scared about that anymore, but before this can be anything I.. I mean we have to defeat All for One, and I would like to do that with you by my side.."

Both of you were still crying, but you knew it wasn't just guilt or sadness anymore. They were happy tears too. You were both convinced the other was in danger, and for the first time in weeks you both felt at ease. Just standing with each other, holding onto each other. Izuku’s feelings finally out on the table. No more ‘I have so much to say’, no more beating around the bush. He loved you, in the same way you loved him. So even though you knew he was right, and it wasn’t the time or place for you both to cross that line between friends and lovers..

"I love you, so much, I have for awhile now before you had One for All, before you were this big hero with the fate of the world on his shoulders," You put your hands on his chest, "So now it’s time for you to share that burden, with me, with everybody here, because we are in this together Izuku Midoriya,”

Originally you were just going to kiss his cheek, but he grabbed your face and kissed you. Both of your cheeks were still wet with tears, but you didn’t care. His lips were still chapped, but you didn’t care. It was a quick moment, maybe not even the most romantic, but you didn’t care. His hands stayed on your face, and you both kept eye contact.

“When this is all over, I owe you a date.” Izuku whispered, and you agreed.

The two of you walked down to join everyone else in the common room. Bakugo was glaring at you, waiting for confirmation, and took it as a sign when you held up your middle finger at him discreetly. There was also the fact Izuku hadn’t let go of your hand as he talked to everyone else. After you got to scold All Might for letting Izuku do this.. You and Izuku eventually ended up falling asleep together on the couch. His head resting against your chest, instantly soothed by the sound of your heartbeat. Your hand was in his hair, still gently playing with it before you slipped into an even deeper sleep.

“Should we move them to their beds?” Kirishima looked at the two of you tangled together on the couch. Todoroki shook his head, and put a blanket over you both.

“Nah, they’re not letting each other go anytime soon.” Bakugo defended you two, and he even took it upon himself to sleep on the other couch.. Just in case of course.

[cwritesforfun]

TSITP: Conrad Fisher x Fem!Reader: this is me trying

Inspired by the song this is me trying by Taylor Swift and some songs from folklore and just Taylor Swift songs in general so let me know if you like this style of quick story:) here is a link to the song 

Y/N = Your Name & S/N = Sister’s Name ** I do not own the TSITP characters or plot!** Yes, I do change the plot a bit.

Lyrics from songs in italics - let me know how many songs you can count

Y/N’s POV

Cousins Beach has always been a beautiful place to visit over the summer. My family has been friends with the Fisher and Conklin families since I was young. I was always closest with Belly, as we were the only two girls besides our moms. Steven was friendly enough. Jeremiah always knew to bring the party to us and was there if you asked, But, Conrad, Conrad was there no matter what. I never had to ask. When the rest of the kids walked together, he would walk by me so I didn’t have to walk alone. He would help me calm my anxiety by walking on the beach with me. He would save me from uncomfortable social situations. When my dad died, he would text me every week (I told him every day was too much). I truly appreciated him more than he ever would know because when I break it's in a million pieces. I was hurting so much, but I had him. My family sold our old home when my father died, but Laurel lets us stay with their family every summer now. It was very sweet of her to do that and it also means endless summer sleepovers with Belly. It can be a little mentally taxing to not have a space to decompress after a long day socializing, so I tend to go on runs after dinner around the beach. My twin sister, S/N, joined me once, but now she prefers partying with Steven.

This year, everything is different. Belly is being entered into the debutante ball. I went a few years ago and my escort was Conrad. I wonder who will take her this year. Susannah has breast cancer and I can tell it’s taking a toll on Conrad a lot. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he keeps pushing me away. 

Dinner tonight has been tense. Belly somehow snuck out to the party at the beach. And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. I was there because S/N wanted me as her moral support if she was rejected by guys or girls, but I mainly hung out with Jeremiah because he’s funny to watch when he gets drunk. I did see Conrad drinking and smoking off to the side. He glared at me when I got another drink. I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me. No idea what his problem is. He won’t talk to me. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you...

And since that happened, the family is torn. Belly was in no real danger since I was with her at the party and watching over her, but my family didn’t like the idea of a small girl watching another small girl. They said it was unsafe for us to be alone, even though we were with other people at the party. Conrad’s parents got mad because he was supposed to watch everyone as the “oldest” sibling there. The funny thing is, Conrad and I are the same age.

I watch as Conrad storms outside after dinner. I watch his dad follows him outside. Susannah leans over to me and says “Go outside and check on Conrad, will you? I know his father can be a bit direct and Conrad doesn’t always respond best to that. He’ll need you.” I get up and walk through the back door outside. I hear Mr. Fisher say in a slightly raised voice “You’re the oldest. You’re supposed to look out for the younger kids.” UH OH! I exclaim “Technically, we’re the same age.” Conrad says “Go away, Y/N.” Mr. Fisher says “Conrad, apologize right now.” I reply “It’s okay, Mr. Fisher. Um... could you tell my mom I’m going on a run and I’ll be back after?” He nods and I storm past them to the house. 

I change, put my headphones on, and run on the beach. I collapse on the beach at the end and put my feet in the cold wet sand. It feels amazing here. I take off my headphones and watch the waves wash over the beach. It’s weird but fuckin’ beautiful. 

I hear footsteps and wonder who they sent to check on me. I hear “May I join you?” I see Conrad and I ask “Oh so you finally want to talk to me now?” And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad. I have a lot of regret about that.  Conrad sits then asks “Uhh something like that. I’m sorry. Do you want water? I figured you would be thirsty after the run. I was waiting to see you run by.” I reply “I will gladly accept, thanks, Conrad.” He replies “Of course.”

I look at the water and exclaim “Sorry for snapping a minute ago. I just get in my head sometimes and I know it was rude of me to say that. If you didn’t want to talk, I shouldn’t have tried to push you.” He replies “It’s alright. You’re the only one who cares enough to try.” I look at him and see tears staining his cheeks. I reach over and we hug. He rests his head in the crook of my neck and just lets all his tears out. I can tell he has been holding them back by how his tears ricochet. 

Eventually, Conrad pulls away from the hug and says “Everyone either doesn’t try to talk to me or they seem afraid of me. I feel like I’ve lost everyone and I have no one left. No one makes me feel like I’m worth anything. I just ... I’m hurting and I miss when days were better. My dad ... he said that I should’ve been a better example. He could smell the alcohol on my breath and he wants me to shape up. He doesn’t see that this is me trying.” I take his hands in mine and say “Conrad Fisher, you’re worth more than gold. You have a wonderful beautiful soul and you deserve so much happiness. I’m sorry to hear how you’ve been feeling, but I want you to know I’m here for you. I’m here for a crying session, a good escape from reality, and I can beat up someone for you if you need me to.” He half smiles and says “But you’re a small girl and they’re not good at defending themselves.” Ahahaha throwing our parent’s words at each other, are we? I half smile and say “And you’re just the oldest sibling who too many people expect too much from.” He nods and says “It’s too much.” I reply “The past few years, when times were tough and I didn’t see a reason to keep going, you were the light in my life. You were a person who helped me see how wonderful life could be amidst the worry and grief. This place on the beach is where we would often find each other when my anxiety got really bad. I don’t know if you remember. But... this is our spot where we let go and allow ourselves to really feel what we feel.” He looks out and wraps his arm around my shoulders. I lean against him and I feel his arms tracing patterns on my arm. We talk more and the sun fully sets.

I pull away from him and we stand up. We start walking back to the house and Conrad exclaims “Thank you for letting me talk and feel and be myself. I would be lying if I said that was it for my problems.” I stop walking and ask “What’s wrong, Conrad?” He stops, looks down at the ground, and says “Nothing is wrong. Well to me, it’s not wrong. It’s stupid really. I don’t know why I feel the need to tell you because it could mean I lose you.” I take his hands in mine and say “You’re scaring me, Conrad. Please tell me what can’t you tell me that means I no longer want in your life.” He replies “I am so very in love with you, Y/N.” HOLY BLEEPING WHAT?!?!?  He quickly drops my hands and says “Just forget I said that, please. We’ll be friends and I can move on. Just don’t tell everyone please.” I put my hands on both sides of his face and say “I love you too, you big idiot.” He smiles and we kiss. Love you to the moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long...