#what a way to end the week damn ] | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

doomedclockworkdotmp3 · 29 days ago

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heeyyy gaaanggg

the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.

#my art #digital art #digital painting #fanart #resident evil 7 #ethan winters #goddd PLEAAASEEEE #i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to #NOT post it. embarrassment be damned #but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE #I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING #HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this #happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly #thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin #about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD #im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss #i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it #like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much #never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd #ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and #that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING #anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.

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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 months ago

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#ay. tomorrow might b the day i face the music #which is to say. i tell my advisor how fucked i am. i mean. ill spin it so it doesn't sound so bad #its just that ive told him like 2 weeks in a row that id send him my edited preproposal and i have not bc im too afraid to start reading #papers related to my project. which is frustrating. and like the thing is. and i kno ive said it before and i kno im not a fucking idiot #i can read papers and i can even understand what theyre broadly saying. but thats it.#zero critical thinking. zero insight. i use all my tiny fucking brain space to try to understand the words on the pages #and even then it only forms this broken fucking image of whats being said. like u dont understand. i used to struggle with writing papers bc #i couldnt fucking connect what i was saying from one paragraph to the next when i was the one doing the fucking writing.#what the fuck am i doing here? and again. im not stupid. i can follow the information if its fucking said out loud but thats not how this #works. and it just feels like sometimes there's a limit to what you're capable of and im at that fucking limit. the undergrads in my lab #have more ability to comment on papers than i do. its so fucking frustrating and i just have to live with knowing itll never get any easier #so what the fuck can i do other than drop out? theres no god damn way im gonna pass a comprehensive exam. not unless i buckel down and break #myself in half to try to retain all the information i need to. which requires that i read so many god damn papers that i cant fucking read.#just. why tf did i pick a career path where my suffering is inherent to a huge part of my job? i feel like ive consistently chosen to take #the hard path in life and ive finally stumbled too far from what is possible for me #so well see what comes out of my mouth tomorrow when i have my weekly meeting. i just feel like its my last semester #i feel like this is it. i just need someone to fucking hire me. bc everytime my lab mate mentions something abt #my project down the line or talks abt future conferences i should attend. im just like. its a nice idea but that's not happening. im just #at the end of the line and it sucks #unrelated

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lunaetis · 5 months ago

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so a random guy just lowered his car window and yelled FUCK YOU at me bc i wouldn't let him cut in the queue of a long traffic line i had been in for 30 mins.

#.ooc #.mobile #[ the GALL of this person who not only wanted to cut the queue #but to also SWEAR at me for not letting him have his way is ???#like DUDE i had been stuck here for half an hour #like HELL i'm letting you cut in #what a way to end the week damn ]

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catkin-morgs-kookaburralover · 1 year ago

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#tw suicide #no seriously heed the tw this is probably upsetting i just. i need to say it somewhere and i will not say it to my family.#puddleglum hours #personal #its just i was thinking.#tother day the doctor asked: do you regret it? about the suicide attempt tuesday night.#and i said something that i still feel: if i regret anything about it it's that i didn't succeed.#they're talking of discharging me tomorrow or something and im just.#what do i need to do to be kept in for longer?! damn it all i *know* how i could kill myself in here.#but i don't want to. i need them to save me #because i can't save myself! if they discharge me tomorrow i think it very likely ill be dead before the end of the week! or at least in #hospital from another attempt! this new med has made me more numb but the thoughts haven't gone away just muted. and then.#at times like this im perfectly wild about it! i cannot keep myself alive i need them to do it for me!#but when ive seen the doctor each time its been when im exhausted and numb and i don't care but that is not the case always.#i don't know. i don't see a good outcome any which way.#hopefully tomorrow the doctor sees me at a time when im feeling like this i think.#because i think i need to tell them. but i don't know how or even if it matters #and sometimes i just want to die.#im so tired of living guys. why #editing to add i am still on hiatus and if you want to contact me and know my discord contact me there #so i will not be responding to anything here for this moment at least

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hauntingblue · 1 month ago

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Castlevania is interesting but tell my why we get three episodes of internal conflict in the dracula castle (good) while the main characters are on a library and do fuck all. Well they have three scenes of relationship building that are supposed to mean something when they come out but they are so little and superficial imo

#and why the hell was season 1 four episodes #alucard and trevor hating each other is understandable but the resolution is fuck all and do not get me started on sypha and trevor #or sypha and alcuard. also sypha talks like she is supposed to reveal their inner workings and thats so bad.....#trevor and alucard are teens stuck in men bodies so they dont get along ok. can i know why....#also they were laughing and joking in gresit so what happened all of the sudden. the library is no excuse bc alucard knew who trevor was #idk man. its such a nothing burger. sypha and trevor relationship comes out of thin air wdym youre the best. since when are you being honest #am i going to blame this on a short episode count and also short episodes. yeah maybe. plague upon the earth #but them stuck in the library for three episodes and doing fuck all is just.... why #also dracula your war council is WHACK #get better fighters what is thus #also why is alucard a wolf. and hus flying sword. i an sure it is explained in the games but hello can i know why #why are we fighting in the study....#you know maybe i dont care bc alucard killing his father was very good. wish it made me care about trevor or sypha #and the dialogue wasnt so cringe sometimes #i respect sypha's two boyfriends grind i do. by god she will make them get along #wished i cared more.....#sypha telling them how they have grown as characters.... stop.....#hector has been kept as a pet noooo.....#not his face carmilla.... thats his biggest asset....#girl are you making marriage bows on the wagon after a week??? girl..... did he suddenly stop smelling like piss bc he sure didnt bathe #dont you worry ablut feeling lonely alucard im on my way.... if you will have me bc i am not sure about that yet but i will try alas #that last cry was just a little treat bc damn #you know alucard and dracula are the thing here and they dont even talk until the end.... travis and sypha on the other hand....#talking tag #watching castlevania

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mainfaggot · 8 months ago

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hi guys my lower back hurts like a mf and the world almost ended 9 times today but it didn't and im okay and it's fine and having an anxiety disorder is stupid as fuck. lol. LMFAO even

#so basically.#bc my usual commute involves train -> bus -> ride home from bus stop #and my dad who usually gets me isnt able to this week #i had to rely on someone else to get me but their work doesn't end till 7 #so i left uni at 4 and was like damn what am i doing for 3 hours?#(not fucking studying) (too tired 4 that bc i already spent 4.5 hours studying)#so i went grocery shopping alone. lol. for fun. it was scary #i got lost on my way there because i had to take two different buses and walk in a different part of the city #it was a diff suburb i was confused #every time i was on the verge of panic crying i figured out how to proceed with the situation bc it worked itself out conveniently #i survived.#z.post

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seaofreverie · 2 months ago

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So busy with Sparkstember that I almost forgot that I go back to school on tuesday

#honestly maybe it's better this way. i'd rather just not care at all rather than be super stressed about it #just like i've been doing with every little thing for most of my life #might have missed the date when we were supposed to choose our elective courses. well whatever Lol #and i still don't even know what my schedule is or what classes i have this semester oopsie #well the university itself doesn't seem particularly pressed about giving us the schedule either #but i'd probably better still read up on the classes at least before they start #i don't have high hopes for this year just like with the last. probably should just stop pretending that i still want to study anything atp #this wasn't even my first choice of a course bcs i had to prepare for that damn exam to be accepted for my preffered one #but i couldn't be bothered to study for it again which probably should have told me enough abt whether going into this again is a good idea #i'm so tired just thinking about it but i know that actually looking for a job and then having a job will be a thousand times worse so uh #but at least i'd have my own money and start doing something ughhhh. useful maybe. who knows what it will be though #i have no ideaaaaaa. but this feels like just putting off the inevitable. like at some point i need to get my shit together #i will probably report at the end of the next week about how i'm so done already #i don't really knowwww mannnnnm. i don't feel like i had any vacation at all even though 3 months have already passed #and i also sort of didn't prepare something relatively easy to do that would have given me an actual document #that would confirm that i actually finished that part-time school thing last semester #can't really be bothered to come back to it at this point though #well at least i learned something actually useful and interesting from that and that's enough for me tbh #and a lot of it is also relevant to my current area of interest (digital drawing and computer graphics in general)#well speaking of which i'd better just get back to drawing now lol. just one more left to finish!!!#in short i guess that my new way of dealing with stress is just ignoring it all #well it's worked in some way at least so it can't be an entirely bad thing lol #goosepost

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hecksupremechips · 8 months ago

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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

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lemongogo · 1 year ago

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ok 4 some reason this post keeps getting blocked but i need u to know that i think ab this sequence often-__-

#i literally dont know if its only an issue on my end #but like every other week an img will get flagged and wont show up on the dashboard or tags or WHATEVE RRR #and it knd of drives me crazy bc i cant figure out whats setting it off😭😭😭#and its always something IN the img bc if i crop it a certain way and edit the post #then it shows up again but if i add the missing piece back itll disappear again #this time its the panel of meryl saying vash😭 every other crop w/o that panel didnt get filtered im losinng my damn mind #trigun spoilers #trigun

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skrunksthatwunk · 7 months ago

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?