#and i thought they were perf for each other

[prossima-nebulosa]

This fatal flaw of mine, that i keep losing interest over potential crushes, is a curse i tell ya

[hsnlv]

sulky sulky! | l.hs

pairing: bf!heeseung x gn!reader

synopsis: dating heeseung comes with many discoveries—like how his pouty lips aren’t just an occasional thing… they’re a constant. at first, you thought he was always upset with you. turns out, he just looks like that.

warnings: flufffffffffff!!!!!, pouty hee :((

wc: 1.03k

here’s my masterlist!

reblogs and comments are highly appreciated!🎀

the day you started dating heeseung, everything felt like a whirlwind. chaotic, loud, confusing—mostly because you discovered something about him you never quite noticed before: his lips. no, really. his naturally pouty lips.

when you first got together, you genuinely thought you had messed up. badly. he just kept sitting there with that pout and a weirdly sad expression, and you immediately spiraled.

“are you okay? wait—are you mad? did i say something weird? oh my god, did i breathe too loud? i can leave, i swear—”

heeseung, confused beyond belief, just blinked. “babe… what?”

“you’re pouting.”

“yeah?” he tilted his head. “i always do that.”

and that’s when it hit you—he’s just like that. heeseung’s default face is pouty. he pouts when he scrolls through his phone. he pouts when he games. he pouts when he’s just existing. you swore he could be eating soup and still manage to pout.

you didn’t think much of it when you walked through the door and saw heeseung curled up on the couch with a pout on his face.

because, well… he’s always pouting.

you gave him a quick kiss on the forehead, said a cheerful “i’m home~” and skipped off to change, humming to yourself like nothing was wrong. and sure, you were a little late—okay, a lot late—but you figured he’d get over it once you brought out snacks and his favorite blanket.

but heeseung? oh, he was suffering.

you missed the way he dramatically turned his head away from your kiss like a betrayed prince. the way he silently stared at the front door after you disappeared down the hall, lower lip trembling in what he was certain was the most tragic expression in existence.

by the time you came back with snacks and the tv remote, he was already in full sulk mode. you flopped down on the couch beside him and turned on your show—meanwhile, he was sitting there with his arms crossed and his pout upgraded to maximum capacity.

and you? absolutely none the wiser.

he cleared his throat.

you nodded along to your show.

he shuffled loudly.

you crunched on chips.

he flopped over, body sprawled dramatically across the couch like he was Juliet waiting for Romeo.

you adjusted the volume.

he reached over and stole a chip.

you gave him the side-eye, then another chip like he was a toddler.

so he tried again.

first, he “accidentally” knocked over your water bottle. you just picked it up and kept watching.

then, he wiggled his socked foot under your leg. you moved a little to give him space.

he even fake-coughed a few times, each one more dramatic than the last.

finally, he reached his limit. with the strength of a thousand unfulfilled cuddle wishes, he stood up, stomped to the other end of the couch, and flopped down beside you with a soft little thud.

and still? no response.

he leaned his head on your shoulder.

nothing.

he poked your thigh with one finger.

still nothing.

he shifted closer—so close his nose was almost touching your cheek—and then, in the softest, grumbliest little voice, he mumbled:

“didn’t you forget something?”

you blinked, half-distracted. “uh… what?”

he looked up at you through his lashes like the saddest, poutiest baby in the whole world. “me.”

you giggled, thinking he was messing around. “what do you mean?”

he scooted even closer, nearly climbing into your lap at this point, voice turning all soft and sniffly. “you said you’d be home by eight… and we were gonna cuddle and watch cartoons and you were gonna play with my hair, remember? you promised…”

you turned to him, wide-eyed and suddenly so guilty. “oh no. baby, i completely forgot—”

“you did forget,” he sniffled, dramatically wiping at his perfectly dry eyes. “i waited. i made the couch all warm. i even picked an episode where the dog doesn’t die this time. i was gonna let you braid my hair like you always say you want to, and now i’m cold and emotionally neglected.”

you laughed softly, pulling him into your arms without hesitation. he wasted no time wrapping himself around you like a velcro koala, cheek smushed against your chest, arms hugging you like his life depended on it.

“you’re such a baby,” you whispered into his hair.

“i’m your baby,” he grumbled proudly.

“you’re so dramatic.”

“because i love you the most, obviously.”

©️ all rights reserved | hsnlv | 2025

[mysterymachine67]

Concept.. grumpy!reader (male, obviously we don't have enough </3) and Dean ending up riding him 'n praising him a ton because it's the easiest way to calm down his pent-up, grouchy, boyfriend n make him feel better.

PAIRING -> Dean Winchester x M!reader

SUMMARY -> Dean riding you to calm you down.

NSFW. MDNI

Apologies that this came out late. Also I’m trying different layouts until I find the one I like 👍🏻 So a few fic layouts probably will look different

It really wasn’t your day. You woke up in a bad mood—irritated that you didn’t get enough sleep and a lot more other reasons. They were good reasons, though. Not stupid ones. You thought it’d pass as the day progressed, but it only got worse.

Everything seemed to know you were having a bad day. You tripped on the door while coming into the bunker, missed putting your bag on the table which resulted in it falling to the ground (you swear the table moved), and that’s only two. Sam understood you were irritated, so he tried to be more patient and calm with you. Dean on the other hand still kept fucking with you, but only sometimes, not all the time. At the moment, you were unpacking your bag from a hunt from a week ago. You don’t blame yourself for not unpacking it straight away, the hunt was exhausting. Anyway, you reached for one of your T-shirts but failed to pick it up. Completely missing it. So you went to pick it up again, but failed a second time. Just as you were about to cuss out a fucking shirt, Dean walked in.

“Woah— wrong timing?” He said, with a hint of tease. You picked it up, obviously.

“Dean—“ You started, irritation clearly rising in your tone.

“Okay, okay. That one’s on me,” he said, raising his hands in the air as a sign of defeat and surrender. “What’s got you so angry anyway?” You then set your now half-full bag on the floor, and turned to face him. Starting to rant about why the day has gone so horribly. After your long conversation, Dean got closer to you and wrapped his arms around you. In an attempt for a hug. Then he kissed you, soft and gentle. “I know a way to help you calm down.” He smiled against your lips. You had a feeling of what it could be, and you were right.

—

Dean’s lips pressed against yours again. Capturing them in a kiss. His hips went down, slowly. Walls hugging your cock. You broke the kiss to look down, taking in the sight of him taking you. And once you were bottomed out the both of you took a moment. Letting each other’s hands roam while nearly making out. Dean moaned—best believe it went straight to your cock. It twitched and he felt it, letting out a small grunt. When you broke the kiss the both of you panted lightly, lips swollen and hands stopped somewhere. Yours were on his hips, helping guide him. His were on your shoulders.

“Alright— c’mon, move,” you grunted. If anything getting impatient more than feeling better. But the truth? This was in fact going to calm you down a lot more than you think.

“Be patient,” Dean whispered while slowly starting to move himself up. He kissed you again. This time more light and gentle than the previous ones. “You,” he started and pushed his hips down. “Need to really calm down.” Focusing on his face, you notice his slight smile and a small laugh. Which you rolled your eyes to.

“Yeah, well, it’s kinda hard to when you—“

“Ah, ah, ah!” He said quickly. His goal being to silence you and it worked. “This is what I’m talking about. Just be quiet and let me work my magic. Okay?” You agreed with a quiet hum, but bucked your hips.

Minutes into it, he rode you nice ‘n slow. Praises pulled from his mouth and into your ears. Was this helping you? Of course. You loved it. Rubbing your thumb at his side, and kissing him every so often. You’d try to assist him but every time he’d tell you otherwise.

Dean slowly worked you up to the edge. Lips pressing against yours; eventually to your jaw, near your ear, and your neck. With him moving up and down on your cock, the feel of him hugging you perfectly, and the praise that left his mouth, you’re sure you’re gonna have to return the favor at some point. Maybe not. Who knows?

“Watcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Nothin’.”

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

A groan pulled from his throat when your cock prodded at his prostate. Hands gripping some place on your body to stabilize himself. You tipped your head back, sucking in a shaky breath. Eyes shutting and letting yourself relax a bit. You cursed under your breath, hips bucking up instinctively and tightening your grip on his hips. “‘M gonna cum,” you breathed out. Speaking of breathing, yours quickened and so did his. Though he kept his more controlled than you did. So, with the information that Dean was just given, he worked quicker. He leaned back in, pressing his lips to yours. It was passionate, sweet. But only lasted for a few seconds. Though he made up for it by whispering words of praise.

“Doing so good, keep focusing on me, alright? Non of that angry stuff.” The more he kept doing it the more closer you got. In only a matter of minutes did you buck your hips up, and came with a moan. Painting his walls white with your cum. Dean whimpered from the feeling. The both of your breathing soon becoming louder. He kept moving till it overwhelmed the both of you.

“Feel better?”

“A lot better.”

[astonmartinii]

nonsense... or is it? | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem singer!reader

face claim: sabrina carpenter

based on this request: sooo, anyways,,, i was thinking maybe a smau where Charles is playing the guy who Milo was and this obviously breaks the internet even more and this leads to them dating ??? idk, just like a really wholesome one where she was his celebrity crush and now they're dating bc of them getting know each other more bc of the music video. sorry if this is all over the place but yeah. - @whoreks

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,200,441 others

yourusername: holla babes !!! the feather music video is heading your way fast xxx if only my real boyfriends were like my music videos ones ...

view all comments

user1: MOTHER

user2: finally music videos are back baby !!

taylorswift: you can still make the whole place shimmer ✨

yourusername: thanks to you baby

user3: oh to be able to call taylor swift baby

user4: y/n's shade is so underrated - i too wish her boyfriends were as good as her mv ones

user5: she's got such a good eye for casting why can't she do this in her actual love life

user6: okay but he's hot based off a single shoulder i'm excited

user7: you got that from a SHOULDER?

user8: he's TALL?

user9: babe y/n is like 4'2 she makes everyone look tall

user10: say what you want about the catholic church, they got the aesthetic down pat

yourbff1: so we aren't asking the mv boyf out? boring.

yourusername: we have lil things called phones? USE IT HOE

user11: charles leclerc in the likes

user12: so true of him

user13: unless he's... the guy

user14: babe he's way too short lol

user15: have yall seen the sky ad? baby aint acting any time soon

yourusername

liked by yourbff1, charles_leclerc and 1,763,550 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: OMG you guys blew the feather music video up !! i'm sure it had nothing to do with this random guy i found off the street? jokes, thank you charles for being the perf mv boyf xx

view all comments

user17: HOLY FUCKING SHIT

user18: celeb crush inception no one touch me

charles_leclerc: thank you for my music video debut, maybe you can return the favour one day?

yourusername: i'll return any favour you want

yourbff1: dial down the desperation babe

charles_leclerc: what if i want her to dial it up please?

yourbff1: do NOT encourage her

yourusername: please encourage me :)

user19: Y/N STAND UP PLEASE

user20: actually y/n is so real have yall seen that man YUM

liked by yourusername

user21: y/n is a genius for fancasting her future bf in her music video

danielricciardo: THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT? SHARL WHEN I CATCH YOU

pierregasly: and me :( i thought our friendship meant more ....

charles_leclerc: it was a secret

yourusername: he doesn't kiss and tell xoxo

alexalbon: WHAT ??????

charles_leclerc: okay we can stop joking now

yourusername: fine...

user22: the way charles was defo typing that through tears

user23: y/n make the move we believe in you

user24: believe in her? she can get anyone she wants he's gotta STEP UP

charles_leclerc

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 2,099,441 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: had a blast filming for my first ever music video, thank you y/n !!

view all comments

user25: i'm feeling a new unhealthy attachment forming

yourusername: feel free to come back any time soon

charles_leclerc: or maybe you can come to me?

yourusername: is this my paddock debut?

charles_leclerc: make sure you're wearing red and it sure can be

yourusername: let me check the wardrobe

user26: i will pass away if we get y/n at a race... in the ferrari garage ???

pierregasly: let it be known i am still angry that you didn't tell me, especially after all the weird rants i've listened to

alexalbon: me too

georgerussell63: me too

landonorris: me too

danielricciardo: me too

carlossainz55: me too

maxverstappen1: me too

charles_leclerc: why is max here?

maxverstappen1: that's what you're taking from this?

charles_leclerc: yeah why are you in my business

maxverstappen1: you make it my business you talk about her all the time

yourusername: oh really ???

charles_leclerc: HE'S A BIG FAT LIAR HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A BIG FAT LIAR ALL HIS LIFE INCLUDING WHEN I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY PUSHED HIM IN A PUDDLE

maxverstappen1: YOU DID PUSH ME IN THAT PUDDLE

yourusername: what is going on here?

user27: poor y/n being thrown into the grid drama

user28: poor charles with the grid trying to expose him

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc and 1,334,661 others

yourusername: clearly was feeling myself this week

view all comments

user31: lol why is max here

maxverstappen1: doing my due diligence as an investigative journalist

charles_leclerc: choke.

user32: is that charles? are we in the soft launch?

user33: let's not get ahead of ourselves, we know charles doesn't dress that well

user34: consider this: girlfriend effect

user35: girlfriend effect is gonna have to do some heavy lifting when it comes to charles' wardrobe

yourbff1: you think you're so slick don't you

yourusername: maybe. maybe not?

yourbff1: you're so annoying

yourusername: annoyingly cute?

liked by charles_leclerc

yourbff1: keep your nose out of women's business leclerc

charles_leclerc: SLANDER

user36: i mean they seem to have the same sense of humour

user37: not to sound insane but they are perfect for each other and i will be passing away if they are not together

pierregasly: interesting

danielricciardo: add it to the folder

charles_leclerc: folder ???

maxverstappen1: leave us journalists be

charles_leclerc: can you even read?

yourusername: GET HER JADE

maxverstappen1: add that as well

charles_leclerc: why can't we win?

user38: what is going on in the house of commons

charles_leclerc

liked by pierregasly, yourusername and 2,331,663 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: i don't believe in soft launches

view all comments

user39: we been knew... but OMG PARENTS

user40: i am crying they're so hot

yourusername: hawt bf obtained

charles_leclerc: sexy gf in my inventory

yourusername: you're such a cute patootie

charles_leclerc: i cannot speak my mind or instagram will censor me

yourusername: ...oop hurry up and come back :(

charles_leclerc: about to break all US speeding laws xoxo

yourusername: not you in your charli xcx era

user41: he's with her ... in the US ... could we get y/n paddock debut in vegas ???

user42: would only be right i fear

user43: the scheduling just about makes sense before she has to go back to opening for taylor in south america

user44: now why did vegas not get in their bag and get y/n to perform at the opening ceremony?

pierregasly: way to ruin the investigation

danielricciardo: yeah we were in our sherlock holmes era

maxverstappen1: have to spoil everything don't you charles 🤨

charles_leclerc: i thought you guys wanted to know who my girlfriend is?

alexalbon: yes, but we wanted to expose it :(

yourusername: CORNY

pierregasly: oh no. he has someone on his side now

yourusername: damn right frenchie. i can hear your asshole twitching from here

pierregasly: WHAT ???

charles_leclerc: idk what that means but YEAH PIERRE TAKE THAT

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 2,114,762 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: gutted not to be on the top step but an overall great weekend in vegas. glad to have y/n by my side this weekend before she's off again to slay the stage xx

view all comments

user48: charles unironically using the word slay, the girlfriend effect knows no bounds

user49: the sky camera zooming in on y/n watching the podium

user50: i think we watched her fall in love in real time

user51: i mean look at the material... podium charles hits so different i think I FELL IN LOVE

yourusername: you're a winner to me babe

charles_leclerc: and that's all that matters

yourusername: NOPE STAY HUNGRY GET THEM POINTS AND DESTROY THE REST OF THE FIELD

charles_leclerc: okay :)

yourusername: good boy

pierregasly: never say that in public again

maxverstappen1: is this why he's blushing so much in the press conference?

charles_leclerc: NO. NO REASON

yourusername: you sure?

charles_leclerc: i am the unluckiest driver ever and am screwed over at every turn sue me if i like a lil praise

user52: charles is so real for that i also want y/n to tell me i'm doing a good job

alexalbon: enough time has passed. @yourusername can lily get some extra tickets for the eras tour

yourusername: of course. anything for my new bestie

lilymunhe: thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu. charles you have amazing taste

charles_leclerc: i know :)

yourusername: i mean i got you, so who's the real winner here?

yourusername

liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc and 1,667,982 others

tagged: charles_leclerc & taylorswift

yourusername: my leg of the eras tour has come to an end :( this was such an insane opportunity, thank you so much taylor xx but this also means i can go annoy charlie until he has to go back to work !!

one last nonsense outro:

i met this lovely boy named charlie,

he races round the world for ferrari,

giving it to me everyday like ari

view all comments

user53: i think y/n might actually be winning in life

user54: is she referencing everyday by ariana grande which is literally just a song about having constant sex?

yourusername: yes and what about it? f1 drivers have great stamina

arthurleclerc: DELETE ASAP

yourusername: no can do baby leclerc

user55: fave outro for real

charles_leclerc: i am blushing !!

pierregasly: she just told millions of people all you do is fuck and now you're blushing ???

yourusername: i don't think mr doggy emoji is talking right now

charles_leclerc: at least y/n did it in an artful way

pierregasly: believe me i know YOU WON'T STOP SINGING IT DOWN THE PHONE YOU MENACE

yourusername: you sing my songs :) ?

carlossainz55: ALL THE TIME

yourusername: i don't like your tone mr 🤨

charles_leclerc: i am just showing my love :(

yourusername: @pierregasly @carlossainz55 you made him sad APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY

pierregasly: sorry?

carlossainz55: sorry i guess?

charles_leclerc: thank you :) i shall continue to sing to my heart's content

yourusername: good.

taylorswift: you were amazing !! i'll see you soon my love xx

yourusername: i'm hearing double date ??

taylorswift: i'm sure that can be arranged

charles_leclerc: OMG

user56: charles and travis are really the top tier himbo bfs and i love them for that

fin.

note: i really loved writing this so i hope this was everything you imagined and more!! i'm just getting into sabrina's music but i was a girl meets world stan so... i hope i did the nonsense outro justice xxx

[lewisvinga]

mon Dieu | pierre gasly x fem! leclerc! reader

summary; pierre and y/n thought they were being sneaky until a gossip page leaked their relationship which sends a certain someone into insanity

fc; various girls on pinterest

warnings; cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1 @minseok-smaus @goldenmclaren @ollieshifts @lavisenri @graciewrote @xoscar03

notes; requested !

masterlist !

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liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and others !

yourusername: ❤️‍🩹

tagged; pierregasly

pierregasly: ma chérie je t'aime ❤️ [my love, i love you]

yourusername: je t’aime, mon amourrrrr🩷

username: OHMYYYY

username: stopppp they’re so cute😭❤️‍🩹

username: why are they so perf for each other

username: KAKDOAKDOSKFKWKDKS

charles_leclerc: IM STILL RECOVERING🤬

yourusername: WELL TOO DAMN BAD🙄

pierregasly: no pls i just managed to hide from him on the paddock 😖

charles_leclerc: i know where you are.

yourusername: i have more pictures of pierre and i kissing btw. 😒

charles_leclerc: mon Dieu, PLS NO

alexandrasaintmleux: double dates now ?😁🩷

yourusername: once charles gains his sanity back , yes 😁😁

charles_leclerc: i have my sanity….

carlossainz55: idk man, i just saw you chasing after pierre

yourusername: MON DIEU CHARLES.

username: charles reaction is everything 😭😭😭

username: they came to serve💅

username: the bottega bag is so cutsies queen

username: oh to have a french bf 😞

username: i just wanna know how charles reacted 😭

yourusername: like a mad man😆

charles_leclerc: i wasn’t that bad 🙄

pierregasly: you threatened and chased me…

charles_leclerc: was it or was it not deserved ??? 😊

yourusername: WAS NOT😒😒

charles_leclerc: he had his tongue down your throat…. MY BABY SISTERS THROAT😀

yourusername: and he’d do it again😜

charles_leclerc: STOP I CANT HANDLE IT

[blue-jisungs]

hi omg I loved all ur “u sleep with plushies” for each svt unit, may I req a hhu ver ??? all of the other units were so cute😭💗

you still sleep with plushies ♡

author's note. thank you hehe!!! it was so fun to do, sorry it took so long tho:(

vcu ver && perf ver

┆彡 SEUNGCHEOL [ 승철 ]

he never considered it a problem?

like he’s been at your place a couple of times and noticed the plushies, thinking it’s just really cute :(

i mean come on, some of his members heave weirder habits (like sleeping with their eyes open…)

so when you asked him if that bothers him, seungcheol was offended that you even thought!!! about it!!!

however . . .

when he does sleep at your place, you two all cuddled up and comfy

and then… he wakes up only to see your back

okay, it happens… maybe you were uncomfortable

BUT THEN HE SEES YOU’RE CLUTCHING A TEDDY TO YOUR CHEST!!! INSTEAD OF HIM!!

he’s so sulky, good luck with that …..

you explain that it’s just your comfort plushie and that you cuddled it out of habit :(

so cheol insists that he can be way better than it and begs you to let him stay one more night to prove his point ☝️

and he kinda does, he becomes your new giant, warm and loving teddy bear <3

┆彡 WONWOO [ 원우 ]

wonwoo noticed before you could tell him

well, you really thought you were slick when you didn’t bother hiding them because you hoped he’d think they’re there for the aesthetics

or when you two went shopping and your eyes widened upon seeing a cute plushie:(

yeah, he knows

but he thinks it’s really cute, especially if you have that one specific plushie ever since you could remember and you always sleep with it

so not to make a fool out of yourself in front of his friends, you don’t take it with you when you go on a trip with them

after whole day of fun, it’s time to sleep in the cabin

and wonwoo notices that you’re constantly squirming around, unable to fall sleep

and you confess that it’s because you didn’t bring your plushie:(

so he offers to be the plushie for the night, reassuring you that he doesn’t mind and you can cuddle him as much you wanna

and that may have been a risky decision because ever since…… well, he is one of your plushies now ^__^

┆彡 MINGYU [ 민규 ]

you decided to invite your boyfriend over and share a secret with him

mentally, you got ready to get teased about it

but you when mingyu entered your bedroom he didn’t even notice the plushies 🧍‍♀️

he was just happy that u let him in your personal space and looked around your room with hearts in his eyes, like a kid in a candy store

"so you don’t mind the plushies?" you mumbled, plopping down on your bed and holding one for emotional support

"the pl– oh? ah, baby…" he groaned and swore his knees got weak; you’re just too cute for his own good

he doesn’t mind, at all - which you’re kinda surprised but happy

he does get pouty if you cuddle a plushie to sleep instead of him >:T

sometimes will spray his cologne on your (or his) favorite one so you could feel like he’s here when he’s out having schedules ☹️

might steal a one or two to his apartment, esp puppy ones 💔

┆彡 VERNON [ 버논 ]

i mean we all know nonnie, he’s really chill about everything (welp, except bugs but—)

so when you were facetiming him once and you noticed your plushies are on camera, you started panicking

"yo, what is it? did something happen?" he asked, noticing something’s wrong

"yeah… no… well…" you stuttered, not sure how to answer "did you see that?"

"what? that big spider behind you?" he stuttered and soon after laughed upon seeing your scared face "sorry, it was a bad joke… hey, don’t get sulky…"

"i meant my plushies…" you mumbled and pulled one closer

"oh them? yeah, and? you always have them. say hi to gerard by the way" vernon nodded

what.

there’s no gerard in your collection but later on you realised he meant (plushie name)

like really,, he doesn’t care in a way that – he doesn’t mind you having them

he does care about them, though :(

will put a blanket on them if he thinks they’ll get cold or carefully reads all the corners of the internet before putting them into a washing machine:(

masterlist <3

taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @eternalgyuuu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,, @mine-gyu ,, @nonononranghaee

[semisslave]

♡ Give me your sound, making your song going loud... ♡

Contents: WLW, Dom!Se-mi x Sub!R, Guitarist!Se-mi x Singer!R, Smut

Warnings: Smut, degradation (kinda), praise, strap sex, fingering

You were part of an independent band called "The Roselights." You were their lead singer. Your band wasn't quite popular but had some fans. Your band aesthetic was quite girly and pinkish, especially you, being the lead singer.

Your band had a "rival" band, which was quite the opposite of yours. "Lost kisses" was an independent rock band that also had a small fan base like yours, and they kept fighting among each other. Both bands always suffered with comparisons between them since they were both indie rock bands but quite different. Lost kisses had a very dark aesthetic, very different from yours.

You couldn't deny that their music was good, but something was better than the music. Their lead guitar, Se-mi, was quite popular outside the band. She had 50k followers on Instagram just because she was gorgeous (something you couldn't deny). You tried to talk to her some times but she and her band mates were very rude and cold, that's one of the reasons why your band and theirs don't get along.

You and your band decided to enter an independent bands competition were the winner had the chance to sign with a big record label, of course you weren't missing this opportunity, but guess who wasn't either...

The competition was held in a concert place where people could watch and vote online for their favorite band at the end of the presentations. There weren't judges, so you had to make your biggest effort to connect with the audience and convince them to vote you.

Your band had to play right after Lost Kisses, which made you more nervous already.

You thought it wasn't fair because Se-mi was more popular than her band, and that would benefit them. Some girls even threw her bra to the stage while Se-mi's band was performing.

When they end, the announcer calls your band out, and you prepare yourself to go, but Se-mi grabs your wrist and whispers to your ear in a low voice...

"Good luck, pretty girl."

How the fuck were you supposed to concentrate after she said that? It was clearly part of her plan, fuck her.

"Now, welcome to... The Roselights"

You stood on stage and gave the best of you, hitting notes you didn't even know you were able to and expressing every lyric perfectly, making the public feel the song with you.

After the presentation, you and your band went to the backstage where there was only one person... Se-mi. The other bands where in the other room waiting for them to be called or already left since the results were going to be announced the next day. You looked at Se-mi confused while your other band mates started grabbing their things to leave.

"That was a great show... You actually surprised me ___" Said Se-mi with a smirk and playing with her lip piercing.

"What do you want?" You asked annoyed, your band mates were already leaving, each one by their own.

"I just wanted to congratulate you... Is that illegal?" She said faking innocence while you sighed

"I know you're not here just for that. You really expect me to believe you suddenly changed and now you're kind?"

"Now that everyone is gone, I can tell you my true intentions... You looked really sexy on stage, you know?"

You blushed at her comment. What was she saying? "Thanks, I guess..."

"You could say the same about me."

"I don't think you need my words, I mean... You had people throwing their underwear at you."

"But I don't care about them... They're not pretty as you." She said taking steps closer to you. Her height towering you as she slid a hand on your waist.

You were speechless, what the fuck was happening? Is this another wet dream you had with her?

Suddenly, she kissed you. You didn't pull away, how could you? You wrapped your arms around her neck while her pierced tongue was exploring your mouth. God, she was experienced.

Se-mi then, hearing the other band finished their performance, pulled you and her bag into a bathroom to continue what you both already started.

She started undressing you slowly while kissing you, taking off your black jacket, then your pink dress, leaving you only in your pink underwear and you black large boots that never took off.

She started caressing your clothed pussy as she felt the wet stain in your panties.

"God, so wet already, and only for kissing? You're such a slut." She said with a smirk in her face, placing you on the counter of the bathroom.

She pulled your panties aside and slides two fingers in your pussy. You moan as you feel them inside of you, the cold rings making you more sensitive.

"Fuck, S-se-mi~" You moaned as you felt her fingers moving inside of you, hitting that sweet spot.

While fingering you, Se-mi grabbed her bag, taking a 8 inch black strap out of it.

Your eyes widened at the sight of it, how was that going to fit?

"You look scared, I'll be gentle, at first..." She says while putting the strap on.

You moaned, almost screamed when you felt it inside of you, stretching you out.

"Oh, Se-mi!~"

You moaned as she pounded into you

"You look so pretty when you're made a mess..." Said Se-mi while she pounded into you harder

"Oh, yes, yes~" You moaned as Se-mi fucked you dumb

"You're taking me so well, keep doing it..."

You moan feeling closer to your release.

"I wish I had a cock and I could feel how tight you are..." Said Se-mi with a smirk on her face.

"I-I'm close~" You gasped as you felt closer to the edge

"That's great, good girl..."

"S-se-mi!~" You screamed her name as you came.

Se-mi keep pounding, making your orgasm last longer as you moaned and gasped desperately.

When she finally pulls out, you, with shaky legs, adjust yourself a bit on the counter while Se-mi takes off her strap, putting it in front of you.

"Lick it clean" She says codly

You, completely fucked dumb, obediently lick the strap

"Such a good slut..."

Se-mi cleaned you up and helped you get dressed, something you didn't expect her to do but she felt really caring at that moment. She helped you to get out and even brought you home. You smiled as you layed on your bed, you forgot everything about the competition, your mind was only thinking about Se-mi right now. Were you developing feelings for a member of the rival band? Your band mates would be so disappointed... Well, fuck them, it's your life. Does she feel the same? If she doesn't, why would she fuck me and take care of me like she did? Your mind was flooded with questions.

You got a message

"Tomorrow, you could say that you've been fucked with a winner" It was Se-mi

You totally forgot about the competition, you couldn't sleep all night thinking about Se-mi and the competition...

Part 2? (This is my first time writing theseee😭💗)

[bookshelf-dust]

soul made of honeybees

billy hargrove x fem!reader

gif by @biillys

word count: 6,418

warnings: brief swearing, mentions of smoking, reader deals with body insecurities/dysmorphia, uses exercise as a punishment, all of the struggles that come with trying to accept oneself

synopsis: on a journey of becoming more active and trying to be happier in yourself, you find billy, who helps you develop a healthier relationship with exercising and shows you that your body should be celebrated for all it does for you.

a/n: well, what do we have here? my creative juices have begun to flow again, and this is the first fic to be born of that particular affair. in my head i’ve set this in the late 80s, maybe early 90s, where i imagine billy still works at the pool during the summers when he’s home from college. this is a situation i’ve found myself in over the past year, and i wanted a chance to explore it in this way and sort through some of my own experiences. i hope you will enjoy it. as always, happy reading! <3

————

Jane Fonda is a fucking fantastic woman. But right now, you hate her. 

She manages to look stunning and effortless with each kick of her legs; while you are sweating profusely, your shorts are up your ass, and your fingers are swollen from overheating. 

You hate exercising in the moment, but once her thirty minute video is over and her group of people in tights and tiny shorts are gone, admittedly you do feel better. Rinsing the sweat from your face, feeling your muscles ache the next day—it brings you some sort of satisfaction. 

Your body likes that you’ve gotten more active. 

But your own hatred for your body was the reason you allowed Jane Fonda into your home to begin with. Sick, right? You know it’s bad, and yet each time you squat, crunch, and press, you can’t stop yourself from wishing you were shaped differently. From looking at the toned and athletic bodies in Miss Fonda’s videos and imagining what it would be like to feel that comfortable in your own skin, to be so graceful and…perfect.

So, you continue to push yourself, in hopes that you’ll become more appealing, that if you keep doing this, there will come a point where you aren’t totally and completely disgusted with the body you’ve been given. 

Because at this point, you’ve truly convinced yourself that you cannot be happy in your body. Even if you have noticed your strength levels increasing and really want to push yourself more. But you won’t let that positivity ring free like the woman on your television always wishes you would. 

“You did a great job!” Jane’s voice rings throughout your living room as the workout video ends, and you scramble for the remote, having had enough of these cheery attitudes for one morning.

You sit back on your hands, stretch out your legs, and try to steady your breath. Your knees have carpet burn, and you can feel sweat dripping down your temples. 

You may be a heaving mess, but you need more. The workouts have gotten easy, and you need something new. 

A woman runs by outside your window in a bright pink leotard and blue jogging shorts, matching pink leg warmers meeting her tennis shoes.

I could try that, you think. Maybe I’d like running. 

You certainly didn’t like it in school, but most of that was the result of shitty phys-ed teachers and the fact that you were never the athlete those instructors wanted you to be. 

You push off the floor and stalk to your room, digging for the sneakers you know are buried in the back of your closet. You have to try this. You need to keep pushing yourself. And if you don’t do it now, with this sudden spark of energy, you probably never will. 

Five minutes. You can run for five minutes. And if you feel like you can after that time is up, you’ll do ten. 

You squeeze your eyes shut as you’re tying your shoes, shoving away the thoughts telling you that you’ll definitely not look as cute as that woman on the street or any other woman that goes for a run, their ponytail swaying and their cheeks perfectly pinked. 

But what does it matter? You have to try. You have to be productive and make something out of yourself. You can’t deal with the pulsing, clawing thoughts of self-hatred anymore. Your body has to change.

The only problem is that you haven’t yet realized your mindset must too.

The heat that swallows you up when you step out of your front door is almost enough to send you right back inside. But how disappointed will you be in yourself if you retreat that quickly? 

You let your body begin to walk before your brain can start to argue. Your street doesn’t really have a sidewalk, so you keep to one side as the cyclists and other joggers do, ensuring you won’t be in anyone’s way. Subconsciously, you’re already making yourself smaller even though there’s no one outside to judge you. 

You look down at your watch, noting the time, and start to run. Not as though you’re being chased by a serial killer—or a man—but enough that it counts as a run. Those first few seconds are blissful. You feel like a little kid as the adrenaline spreads through your veins. Like your mom has just called you in because dinner is ready, like you're racing against the sunset so that your feet land inside the door just before the streetlights flick on. 

You forgot what it was like to move your body in this way. To feel this momentary freedom. You make it about three minutes before your side starts to hurt, a telltale sign that you haven’t done this in far too long. The heat is starting to get to you too, but you said you’d go for five, and that’s what you’re doing. 

It’s pitiful, the way you press yourself to the inside of your front door, trying to catch your breath from that little bit of work. Why did it hurt so much more than everything Jane Fonda tells you to do? 

Maybe you’re not meant to be the athletic type. Or maybe I need to eat something, you think. I need to make a plan for myself. That could make it easier. 

You can’t eat with your shirt sticking to your back though, so you strip and turn the shower on, practically jumping under the cool stream of water. But not before you glance at your body in the full-length mirror hanging on the wall. Your hands find your stomach, eye each stretch mark and bit of cellulite. Each extra-soft spot of skin, every part of you that doesn’t conform to the vision you have in your head. 

You wish that five minute run had fixed everything. That you could magically look like an aerobics instructor and be happy in your own skin. Your eyes fill with tears, and you think for a minute that it could be better to just stop before you get ahead of yourself. What’s the point? You don’t know if you have it in you to wait and see results. And you know you won’t turn into someone else, won’t form a new shape…and then you’re spiraling. You can’t think of a single reason why exercising is worth it.

Because it can be fun. Because it pushes you and makes you stronger. You shove this tiny voice away and let your gaze flick back to the shower, where you’ve completely abandoned your cold sanctuary. You hop in and start scrubbing your hair, trying to think of anything that isn’t your body in that mirror, anything other than how much you looked like a fraud trying to fit in with everyone else. 

————

You continue on this way for a while longer: running in the mornings, doing as many of the Jane Fonda videos as you have access to at work, drinking more water, blah blah blah. One of the perks of working at the library is that you can check out as many tapes as you want. But you’ve done all of Jane’s workouts, and you need more. 

You could swim, but when is the community pool ever not full to the brim during the summer? You could try jazzercise. No. That’s just not for you. You could…go to the gym. 

The pool also has small gyms for both women and men, and you know the men’s one is usually very busy, but most of the women in Hawkins take part in other forms of exercise. And if you went in the mornings…you might have the place to yourself. You might could try and tone up. 

God, this sounds so stupid. 

And your heart rate picks up just thinking about doing this very new and very big and very embarrassing thing, but you want to do it. You’re going to try. 

Hopefully you’ll just go unnoticed. This is a totally normal thing for people to do, right? 

The community pool opens at ten during the week, but the doors to the gyms open at seven. And that’s what time you get there, out of pure fear that you’ll have to interact with another human and make a fool of yourself. But the universe must be looking out for you on this particular morning, because the door is unlocked, and you slip in without any hassle. 

Billy isn’t a morning person. He never has been, but an excuse to get out of his hellhole of a house before anyone else is up to fuck with him? Yeah, he jumped at that opportunity. 

Usually the manager opens the gyms and stays to open the pool during the summer, but he volunteered. Especially because he can usually get in a workout before his shift technically even starts. 

He’ll bench as much as he can without a spot, work on the pull ups he never tells anyone he struggles with. It just feels good to be able to use his muscles and push himself. Billy is proud of what his body can do, what it does for him, how it protects him—and he’s not ashamed to admit that.

His body is one of the only things he has control over, and he’s heard his share of people talking about how vain he is, how he shouldn’t spend so much time doing this or that. But he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s built a body he’s proud of and feels comfortable in, and truthfully he feels like everyone should be comfortable in their body without anyone else pushing them to look another way. 

Billy is leaning against his car, hands tangled in his hair in an effort to tie it up, a cigarette dangling loosely from his full lips when he sees you for the first time. 

He watches you get in your car, bag slung over your shoulder, interested only because he never sees another soul here this early. 

You’re pretty, he thinks. Your hairline shines in the morning sunlight, damp with sweat, your neck the same. Your sports bra peeks through your pale shirt, and one of your slouchy socks is hiked up higher than the other. You’ve clearly just finished working out, but he thinks you look breathtaking. 

There’s something about you. Something light and sweet that he can feel even from this distance, like something is telling him you have a good soul. 

The next time Billy sees you, you come out of the door looking frustrated—he assumes at yourself. He doesn’t want to bother you, but he would like to talk to you at some point. 

You turn around when you go to unlock your car door and lock eyes with him. Your heart stutters at the fact that someone has caught you, probably knows you were exercising. But he is gorgeous. You give him a small smile, and climb into the driver's seat. All you can think on the drive home is that it must be nice to be so effortlessly gorgeous. 

————

You continue on this way for weeks. Close to a month. You workout, you wave and acknowledge one another. This other person who you share this tiny thing with and who you are not judged by. 

On this particular day, you decide to be brave though. You packed a swimsuit, and you’re going to speak to that gorgeous boy and hope he doesn’t get freaked out by you. 

You place your weights back on the rack, the muscles in your thighs pulsing, your arms feeling like jelly. You’ve only worked your way up to the set of fifteens, but that’s something, right? 

You’re sweating, and dread walking outside into the swath of steadily climbing heat and humidity. Your heart pounds at the prospect of speaking to him. 

With your bag over your shoulder, you push open the door and step outside, jumping almost immediately. “Shit!” 

Billy laughs at your reaction, both because he hadn’t expected to frighten you, and because your jolt was pretty entertaining to witness. 

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, “I didn’t mean to make you lose your shit, it’s just too hot to stand anywhere without shade.”

You lean against the cool metal door behind you. “Fuck,” you sigh. “My survival skills are clearly not what they should be.”

Billy laughs into his drink, taking a swig from the Coke he bought at the vending machine. 

“You headed out?” he asks, subconsciously fussing with a belt loop. 

“Well, yeah, I was. But um, I was going to ask a favor from you, if that’s okay?” You must sound like a dumbass, speaking to this man for the very first time, only to ask him for something.

“Shoot,” Billy responds.

“Do you think it’d be okay for me to swim a few laps in the pool? I know it’s not open yet, and I haven’t even told you my name, but I promise not to be a bother or anything. I just kind of wanted a chance to swim when there was no one else around, you know?”

Billy finishes his drink and tosses the can in the recycling bin inches from your hip. It lands with a resounding ping. 

You start to think this was a very stupid idea, and that maybe you should’ve just kept yourself at home like always.

“You can totally say no—”

“Yeah, sure I don’t see why not—”

Your words clash together and the both of you start to laugh. You raise your hand, gesturing for him to continue his thought. 

“It’s fine by me if you swim a little. I doubt you’re gonna trash the place.” He grins at you, dimples forming in his cheeks. “I’m Billy, by the way.”

A heat rises up your neck and washes over the tips of your ears. You tell him your name and thank him for letting you bend the rules. 

“Ah, fuck the rules. It’s just a community pool,” he winks, opening up the gate for you and telling you to have at it. 

You’d put your one-piece on underneath your workout clothes this morning, and you try to ignore the prick of shame, even disgust, that you feel having put your body in it as you wade into the pool. 

The water is cool, and as it drenches you, you feel lighter, somehow. You swim out to the deep end and push off the wall with your toes, propelling yourself underwater and kicking for as long as you can go while holding your breath. 

The little girl that still lives within your soul leaps to the surface, giddy with each push off the wall, each stroke of your arms underneath the water. She is excited. Free. 

She isn’t thinking about what your stomach looks like in this swimsuit or how stupid you probably look with your sloppy swimming skills. 

You swim for maybe twenty minutes, or at least until your shoulders are aching. You kick over to the wall, hoisting yourself up just that little bit so you can prop your elbows up on the warming concrete. 

You feel so light here that it almost makes you forget why you came. 

You hear footsteps and Billy appears from around the corner, a fluffy white towel in hand. 

“You getting out? I figured I’d come and make sure you hadn’t drowned.” 

You giggle. The sound makes him smile, pearly white teeth on display. Your eyes are drawn to his, where the summer sun has multiplied his freckles so much that they blanket his nose and the tops of his cheeks, washing over his temples. 

“I appreciate you looking out for my safety,” you say, climbing up the short ladder. Billy holds out a hand to help you steady yourself as you stand. You’re hesitant to take it because you’re all wet, but your hand moves before your mind takes control. “Thank you.” You give him a shy smile.

He grins at you and hands you the towel. You wrap it around your shoulders and follow him back under the awning when he starts walking away. Billy leans up against the cold brick wall and you stand, a little nervously, in front of him, trying to think of what to say. 

“I’ll admit, uh, it’s been nice to see someone else here so early in the mornings.” Billy lets out a huff of a laugh. “I was gonna ask though, why’d you pick this shithole to workout in?”

You pull the damp towel tighter against your torso. “It’s a quiet shithole,” you say. “And this whole exercising thing is pretty new to me, you know? I didn’t want to be somewhere people could see me like that.”

You realize how self-deprecating that comment was, realize you’re being too upfront, and try to quickly cover your ass. “What about you?” you ask, daring to make eye contact just to make sure he’s not disturbed. 

“Well, it came with the job,” he laughs, “and I love working out. Always have. Plus, it might be a shitty place, but the older equipment is a lot better than what newer gyms are using. So it works for me.”

Huh. 

“Oh. Nice.” You chew on your thumbnail. What a fuckup you are. 

Billy tilts his head, trying to encourage your gaze to raise to his. “What just happened?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice. 

You look at him, his sunglasses pushed up into his hair and arms crossed in front of his chest. “It’s nothing…I just don’t really know what to say to someone who enjoys the gym? Who has a positive relationship with it and everything.”

A crease forms between Billy’s brows. “You’ve been crazy consistent with it, but you don’t like it?” He asks you, but based on your body language and how you’ve acted the past month every time you head out, everything adds up and Billy knows the answer before it even leaves your mouth. 

You shake your head, ashamed that you even brought this up. “No,” you laugh nervously. “I hate it. I only started because I’m unhappy with myself? So it’s more of a punishment than something that brings me joy.”

Billy’s chest squeezes at your words. That is exactly why he started working out all those years ago. To make himself stronger because he was ashamed his father had power over him. Because he wasn’t good enough for anyone, so out of anger he made himself more powerful.

But he doesn’t want you to feel that way. You shouldn’t be working out purely to punish yourself for some absurd reason your mind has come up with. 

And even though Billy has had very minimal interactions with you, he likes you. He wouldn’t wish the horrible thoughts he’s had for himself on anyone else, but he gets the feeling you already know. 

“Well, I’m not gonna berate you or nothin.’ But uh, if you ever want help, or want to workout together so it’s not so miserable, let me know alright?”

You smirk at him, hoping to make the situation a bit less awkward. “Are you implying you’re the reason working out would become less miserable?”

Billy laughs, glad to see you’re not totally opposed to the idea of him offering help. “Yeah. But really, you shouldn’t have to hate it y’know? If I can help you figure out not to hate it…I’d like to try. And we could get to know each other better.”

Billy fidgets with the lighter in his pocket. He’s weaned off cigarettes, but he keeps loads of lighters around so he has something to occupy his hands with. If not, it’s usually not a good situation for him to be in. 

Your heart squeezes at the genuine quality in his words. You feel like you’re a lost cause at this point, but there’s a big part of you, the soft and squishy and easily flustered one, that wants to take him up on this offer. 

You nod, wrapping up your towel so you can drop it in the bin and go get changed. “Okay. I’ll think about it, Billy. Promise.”

————

“One more.”

“I can’t, Billy. I told you, I’m not strong enough for this shit.”

You swear when you’re frustrated. Billy has learned that over the past few weeks. 

He crouches, leveling with you. Your knee bounces, the dumbbells in your hands sitting on the tops of your thighs. “Yes, you can. You’re already up to twenty-fives for your presses. Try one more for me and then you can rest a minute.”

Your eyes well with tears that you quickly blink away as you settle back against the bench. This is the point in a workout where you just start to hate yourself. You think it’s pointless, you know you’re body hasn’t changed enough, you feel like total shit—everything just feels fucked.

You use your knees to help lift the dumbbells and slowly lift them to the appropriate height, making sure to protect your shoulders like Billy taught you. You inhale and raise them up. Your arms are shaking, especially your non-dominant one which is really fighting this shoulder press, and you’re not sure you’ll be able to lift them fully until you do. 

“Fuck, yeah!” Billy’s voice reaches your ears just as you’re lowering your arms, completely out of breath. You set the dumbbells on the floor. 

Billy is thrilled for you. He can see the progress you’re making, how much stronger you are and less hesitant to try new exercises.

When you look up at him the expression on your face tells him you are not thrilled. 

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s the matter?”

You stand and walk over to the mirror that covers one whole wall. You put your hands on your hips and bite the inside of your cheek. “Billy, will you look at me, honestly?” You gesture to your body. “This is the matter. I don’t look any different than the first day I showed up here, do I? Even if I’ve been busting my ass, I’ll just never—”

You stop, rubbing your hands down your face and over your bloodshot eyes. 

“You’ll never what?” Billy locks eyes with you in the mirror. 

You set a hand on your chest, nails digging into your skin. “My body will never be good enough for me. I’ll always look at every other person that walks by, jealous that they have the figure I want and I’ll never have. Why did I have to get stuck with this shit? Why couldn’t I be given a body that I’d be happy with. Life if fucking hard enough, why couldn’t I have this one thing?”

“And you’re just so effortlessly gorgeous, you know that? I wish it was that easy for me, too. It’s just like, why am I even doing this anymore when I know I’ll never look the way other women do? I’m bullshitting myself, aren’t I, Billy? Working out like it’s gonna do anything.”

You exhale and drag your arm across your nose, avoiding Billy’s gaze. 

“Hey. Look at me.” Billy’s tone is firm. “Listen for a second, will you?”

“You are getting stronger. You’re using heavier weights all around. Shit, you’re up to fifty for your deadlifts. Hold your arm up for me—yeah, and squeeze, yep. Look at that.” 

He taps his index and middle finger on your bicep, on the bit of muscle you’ve grown and shape you’ve built. “You are absolutely not bullshitting yourself, you hear me? If anything, you’re bullshitting yourself by thinking you can’t be happy in this body. You don’t have to look like other women. Who the fuck put that idea in your head? I don’t know if you see how I look at you, but I think you’re gorgeous, and I love to see you becoming more comfortable in the movements you do, in your own strength. Your body does so fuckin’ much for you.”

Billy is still keeping eye contact with you in the mirror. You can feel the warmth of him behind you, and you swear you sweat more because you know he’s right and you know you are getting stronger but fuck you just can’t believe that. You look at him and you just wish you were that lithe, that comfortable in your own skin. 

“I’m doing this with you—hey, take a deep breath, alright?” He clocks the way you’re shaking out your hands, trying to keep yourself from breaking. Crying. Screaming out of frustration. “I’m doing this with you because I used to be just like this, you hear me?” 

He hates being vulnerable, fucking despises it, but he knows that giving you this information, giving you this little pathway into his life just might save you right now. 

“I worked out all through junior high and high school because I fuckin’ hated myself, and I thought if I could get bigger, if I could make myself look intimidating, then maybe other people wouldn’t treat me like shit. That part worked in some places, but I didn’t like myself any more because I hadn’t sorted through any of my mental shit.”

He says your name. Slowly. You like the way it sounds when he says it, hating the way it sounds when it leaves your own lips. 

“I know we aren’t all that close yet, but I see so much fuckin’ potential in you. I’m not gonna let you suffer with all this shit alone. I know you hate your body, but this is the one you were given, and there’s no point spending so much time destroying yourself over that simple fact.”

You turn around to face him, your hands on the sides of your neck, rubbing as if that will stop the emotion from rising in your throat. It doesn’t work. Billy’s eyes move back and forth between yours, across your face, tracking every change in your expression. He recognizes what you’re doing, trying to suppress all of this. 

“C’mere.”

You go before your mind can fight back. Billy takes you in his arms, tucking your face into his chest, resting his chin on your shoulder. 

You breathe unsteadily into his skin. You don’t care that he smells like sweat and you smell like sweat and that you’re shaking and tears are slipping from your eyes. His arms are strong, and the feeling of his biceps squeezing you closer, his hands running up and down your back, it makes it all feel like it’s okay. 

“It’s just so fucking hard, Billy,” you mumble, lifting your head up slightly. “It’s not fair. I just want to be pretty and normal and have a body I can accept like everyone else.”

Billy gently touches his index finger just below your chin, coaxing your gaze up to meet his. “I know it is. And I mean it when I say that you are pretty. Honestly, you gotta think about how many ‘pretty’ people there are out there, people who have the bodies the tabloids tell them to have—and are absolute dicks. Hell, that’s how I was in high school.”

Your eyes crinkle at the corners, signaling that he did get a little joy in you having admitted that, even if it’s not a full on smile. His thumb swipes down your cheek, mopping up the little track left by a tear. 

“Point is, this, what I’m holding right now, is your body. No one else would know it like you do, know how to take care of it, know where each mark has come from or each thing you’ve put it through. Each thing it’s gotten you through. You can accept it, because I’m going to help you get to a point where you can look in the mirror and not shit-talk yourself.”

You pull back a little, pressing the palms of your hands to your face, your elbows slightly poking the top of Billy’s rib cage. “I’m just so scared.”

“I got you, you hear me?” He pulls your shirt away from your collarbones just so it’s not sticking to your skin so much. “You don’t need to be scared. Not with me.”

You nod. And you keep doing that until it feels a little more believable. 

————

Billy can’t stop looking at you. 

And he really needs to focus before he runs off the sidewalk and into the road. 

But for the first time in the few months he’s known you, you look free. You look happy. You look all of these things and you’re running. There’s a baseball cap perched backwards on your head, one of his from forever ago that he lent (gave) you when you mentioned you didn’t have any. 

He can smell the sunscreen you’ve slathered all over yourself, see the sweat dripping down your spine. This is the first time you’ve felt brave enough to go out in just a sports bra and a cropped sweatshirt, bright colored biker shorts covering the tops of your thighs. Your frilly socks make it too, just because it shows how much more comfortable you’ve gotten with doing this. 

It turns out you never hated running. You just needed to do it in a different atmosphere, with different thoughts running through your head. And having a good running partner helps, too. 

“There’s a bench up here if you want to rest a second before we finish,” Billy says through a rather aggressive exhale. You’re glad the sun is setting, because that makes it so much cooler than when you try to run in the morning with the sun beating down on you and seeping into your veins.

You sit down, taking a long drink from your water. Billy crouches on the sidewalk, shaking out his hair and retying the mess of a bun he was wearing. 

“You’re doing so good today,” he tells you, winking at you from his place just a few inches to your left. 

You grin into your water bottle. “How long was that?” you ask. 

He rises and sits down next to you, his arm slung behind your back on the bench. His thumb brushes the shell of your ear, rubs over the little hoop you’re wearing. You watch as he does a little math in his head, checking out where exactly you are. “Little over two miles, bee.” 

Bee. Your heart skips every time he says that. It’s a very new thing, but it sort of slipped out one day, and you’ve loved it ever since. 

“What movie you wanna see this weekend, honeybee? My treat.”

When you’d asked why he chose that name for you, he’d teased at first, telling you it was just because you’re so damn sweet. But really it was a little more sappy than that. 

“Well, you are sweet. And bubbly when you want to be. But think about how much shit those little fuckers get done. How persistent and focused. They’re all cute and fuzzy n’ whatever, but they’re like, badass lil’ things, y’know?” 

Your knee bounces excitedly on the pavement. “Really?” That’s the farthest you’ve run so far. And you didn’t even hate it. You had…fun.

Billy laughs, throwing his head back a little and bearing his neck to you. It shines with sweat and it almost looks like he’s glowing. “Fuck yeah. You’ve been kicking my ass this week. I hate running.”

“But you do it with me,” you say.

“But I do it with you.”

You reach over your shoulder and squeeze his hand. “I like running better when it’s with you. Just for the record.” He squeezes back, lifting your hand up gently to press his lips to it. 

“I’m proud of you, you know that?”

A crease forms between your brows as you meet his gaze. “What for?”

“For not giving up.” You start to argue with him, but he continues before you can belittle yourself even the slightest bit. “You’ve kept at this, at trying to get yourself stronger and to try and feel more comfortable in what your body can do. I know you probably still wish you looked like some fuckin’ model or some shit, but I can see how much you’ve eased up, you know?” 

You nod, giving him a small smile. “I do still wish that sometimes. It would be easier. But I’m getting better, I think. I hate to tell you you’re right—,” he shoots you that cocky, prideful grin, “but my body does do a lot for me. I’m starting to accept that it can do a lot for me…” 

You trail off, tapping the toes of your sneakers on the concrete below you. “And I did squat with the bar and those little plates yesterday without a spot.” 

The spot in question was watching you carefully from a few feet away, ready to sprint if you needed help. 

“Yes, you did, bee. You’re kicking ass.” That dimple forms in his cheek, and you know he’s about to say something smart. “Speaking of ass—”

You stand abruptly, turning around quickly so that the area he’s speaking of isn’t directly in his face. You’ve learned he has a staring problem, specifically with that part of you. Not that you mind. Maybe that’s where your pride comes in.

————

The sun has slipped beneath the horizon by the time Billy slips his key into the gate, pulling it securely shut behind him. The first spattering of stars are trying to show in the purple-blue sky. 

The pool is calm, empty, and lit only by the pale bulbs built into it and the two light poles on either side of the patio. 

It was Billy’s idea to sneak in for a late night swim. He thought it would be fun, and he knows you hate swimming in an overcrowded pool. But truthfully, he just wanted to give you another space where you could feel completely without judgment and just exist. 

“What’s the plan here, Billy? I didn’t even think about taking a detour to get a swimsuit.” 

It’s true, you’ve felt so carefree around him that you weren’t overthinking, overanalyzing a scenario like this. You weren’t worried about running inside and finding the most full coverage bathing suit you have because you’re afraid of Billy seeing your body. But right now…you just feel calm. Your body isn’t perfect, but it’s okay if he at least sees your legs. 

Billy is already slipping off his shoes and taking off his shirt. “That’s because the point of this is being spontaneous, bee.” He walks to the far end of the pool and dives in, just in his little running shorts, before you can even blink. 

You’re nervous, just that little bit because this is so different from something you’d usually do, and now you’re just stripping? You’re just living and having a good time? Who the fuck are you?

You step out of your own shorts and pull off your socks. You’re left in your underwear and your little cropped sweatshirt. You register, as you walk down the stairs, that your underwear are blue, and you look just like Lisa from Weird Science. It makes you smile. 

You track Billy’s movements once you're up to your waist and realize he’s heading for you. He squeezes your ankle beneath the water before coming to the surface, a wide grin on his face. His necklace is stuck around his back and on instinct you reach out to straighten it. 

His eyes drag up and down your figure. “Hi, gorgeous.” The low drawl of his voice makes the tips of your ears burn. 

You wade a little deeper into the water, circling behind him. When you’re drenched up to your chest, you splash him. Billy cackles. It is possibly the most joyous sound you’ve ever heard. 

He dives for your waist, hooking an arm around you and swimming off, making you howl with laughter before you have to hold your own breath when he pulls you out deeper than you are tall.

He hoists you up out of the water and gently tosses you to the side, letting you fall into the water on your back. The adrenaline coursing through your veins is magical. 

You keep playing with him, playing, like you’re both kids who’ve never been in a pool before, until you’ve run through most of your energy. You try and teach him a game you played as a child, where one person spreads their legs and your goal is to swim between them without touching their skin, even as they move their legs closer together each time. 

It’s silly, because you inevitably know you’ll touch your opponents legs, but it’s fun. You don’t think about anything else when you do it. He teases you though, trapping you with his calves most times so you automatically lose. 

Now though, you and Billy stand nose to nose, at a depth where you’re not up to your chin so that you can actually speak to him. “This was a really good idea,” you tell him. You push some of his wet hair out of his face and then, rather than pulling away, you set your hands on his shoulders. 

He wraps his arms around your waist. “This okay?” he asks, lowering one arm so he can show you he wants to lift you up. You give him a sweet yes. 

Billy’s hand grips your thigh, coaxing you upward so you can get your legs around his back. You adjust your arms behind his head, him respectfully keeping his hands on the backs of your thighs. He steps back just that little bit more so he can submerge himself further in the water now that you’re held up. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile for this long before,” Billy says. His blue eyes flick back and forth between your own. 

“You’ve given me a lot more reasons to.” Your hand cups his cheek and he swears he could fucking collapse. You’re so gentle with him and Billy never knew he even wanted that. But now he craves it. Craves you. 

That cocky smirk you’ve started to recognize before it even begins makes an appearance. “Yeah? Can I give you one more reason to?”

You hum in agreement, and then Billy is pressing his lips to yours. They’re damp and he tastes a little like chlorine, but…he was right. You smile brilliantly into the kiss, and you’re not sure you stop the rest of the night either. 

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!

[skalfy]

Misunderstandings

alexia putellas x reader, ~4.1k words, part 1/2 - Part 2 here

angst in this part, but planning for a happy ending.

Hi! for people waiting for part 3 of the Misa story I promise I am working on it, just been busy and got caught with some other ideas, including this one. Hope y'all enjoy this in the meantime!

Also please feel free to send me requests, I am not very quick, but would love to take on some ideas. I don't really have a complete list of players I will/won't write for, but if you send me one for someone I won't, I'll reply and let you know so you can send it elsewhere :)

--

You had no idea how you had gotten off on the complete wrong foot with Alexia Putellas.

It had only been a month since you joined Barcelona on a three year deal, fulfilling a lifelong dream while launching you far out of your comfort zone. You were shy, and coming from Tigres, and before that, college football in America, you hardly even had a former opponent to befriend. All of your new teammates were strangers, and in some cases, even strangers you’d looked up to for years. All of your teammates except one, that was.

In a strange twist of fate, you had met Ingrid Engen almost a decade prior, when the two of you were both 17. You had an aunt--not a real one, but one of your father’s old friends from college-- who had moved to Norway a few years before you were born. Your family had gone to visit Aunt Anna every couple summers, spending a week or two seeing the fjords and the beautiful traveling the countryside. The summer you were 17, Aunt Anna had invited you to stay for a whole month. It was meant to be a sort of final hurrah before you started college in the fall, and your parents agreed without much debate.

Your second night at Aunt Anna’s house in Melhus, you had headed to the football pitch down the street with the intent to complete your assigned summer workout, and instead you had met Ingrid. That evening on the pitch was the start of a whirlwind month-long friendship as the two of you bonded over your love of the sport, then grew to find you had much more in common beyond that. One night as you sat on your bed in Anna’s house, Ingrid had told you that she was gay, opening up about the feelings she had for one of her U-19 national teammates. She held you in a tight hug as, for the first time, you said out loud that you thought you might be gay too.

You had said a tearful goodbye at the end of the month, but stayed in touch with Ingrid somewhat throughout the years, exchanging infrequent texts congratulating each other on football achievements or to check in on life. You had been pleased to hear that things worked out with her national team crush, Marie, though sorry to hear it ended a few years later. She had cheered you on in turn when you had your first serious relationship with a girl at college. When you first arrived at Barça, the two of you hadn’t seen each other since that month in Melhus, even with your respective places on your senior national teams, but you still considered her a trusted friend.

During the your first month with the Blaugrana, you had gravitated immediately toward Ingrid. You were delighted to fall back into the easy friendship you had shared so many years ago, and it helped that you were nervous to attempt to befriend your other teammates. You worried that you were monopolizing Ingrid’s time, but she easily assuaged your concerns, telling you that she was happy to spend the time together and that she would be there to support you as you took opening up to the team at your own pace. She offered you an open invite to have dinner with her and Mapi whenever you were ready to branch out.

Though you mostly kept to yourself and Ingrid, the rest of the team seemed friendly and open for the most part. Pina and Patri didn’t seem to mind your shyness and often chattered happily to you, managing to include you as a third member of their two person conversations in the changing room. Your spanish wasn’t perfect, but three years playing in Mexico had brought you up to a passable level.

Keira and Lucy, often accompanied by Ona, would also frequently bring you into conversations. You got the sense that it was as much for Keira’s sake as yours, she seemed more than pleased to have another native english speaker to chat to. You appreciated their dynamics, full of biting wit and teasing that reminded you of time with your national teammates.

The one person who seemed to hold nothing but animosity towards you was the one who you had been most excited to play with. You racked your brain, but couldn’t place any reason why you so often seemed to be at the receiving end of Alexia’s ire, but it was unmistakeable. At best, she ignored you-- the few mornings you had arrived early enough for the two of you to be the only ones in the changing room, she remained stubbornly silent, hardly acknowledging you at all besides a flat look as you entered. At worst, she singled you out in training, barking critique after critique. You had a relatively thick skin, but the captain’s intense disapproval wore on you as it never seemed to relent.

The obvious explanations that you could think of for her behavior were out. You were a forward, used to playing out and out striker or tucked under as a false 9, but you hadn’t played midfield since a few times in a pinch in college, so even setting aside her unmatched abilities, she couldn’t possibly think you were threatening her place. You had hardly ever played against her, coming off the bench late in a game once against Spain, and playing most of a friendly with Tigres. You had certainly never put in a risky tackle against her, you didn’t think you had even made any impact on her. Certainly nothing she might hold a grudge for-- you hadn’t, say, nabbed a winning goal.

As far as you could tell, it seemed like it was something you had done since joining Barça, because she hadn’t seemed so frosty on your first meeting. The captain had been quiet but polite as she welcomed you to the team, even returning the shy smile you had given her when you were introduced, but by the end of the first week it became clear that you had drawn her ire.

You had asked Ingrid for her opinion, and, while she agreed that Alexia did seem to be especially critical of you, she couldn’t come up with an explanation. After thinking through it, she optimistically suggested that it could be a misguided attempt to help you adjust to the Barcelona playstyle. At the skeptical wince you gave her in response, she offered to ask Mapi to weigh in. You thanked her, but declined. Alexia’s best friend’s opinion would likely be your best chance to understand, but you were wary of putting either Ingrid or her girlfriend in an awkward position.

--

A few days after that conversation with Ingrid, a particularly bad day of practice with Alexia all over your every move had you feeling desperate. You had stuck it out to the end of the session, but raced away as soon as you could, eyes hot with unshed tears and face red with embarrassment and exertion. You passed through the changing room only long enough to kick off your boots and grab your keys and phone. Jana was inside and changed already, on a slightly shortened training plan as she returned from injury, and she called out in concern as she saw you dart for the exit.

“¿Estás bien, Y/N? ¿Qué pasó?” You shook your head as the younger player stepped toward you, not sure whether you were answering no to the first question or trying to deny anything was wrong. Either way, Jana took matters into her own hands, grabbing you gently by the elbow and guiding you to face her. “Let me drive you home, vale?” you choked back a sob and let the defender walk you towards her car.

You told Jana which apartment building you were in and she didn’t bother to plug it into the GPS, navigating the short drive easily. She had turned on some music and you were grateful that she let it play quietly without asking you any more questions. When you reached your building, she turned the car off and climbed out, circling around to meet you at the passenger side door, clearly intent on seeing you all the way in. You let her walk you through your apartment door, sinking onto one of your kitchen chairs once you were in. The defender stood at the edge of the kitchen, looking a little uncertain.

“¿Quieres que llame a alguien? Call someone?” she asked.

“Voy a llamar a Jenni. Gracias por todo. Puedes quedarte si quieres.” you replied, managing a genuine smile at the young defender. She smiled back, pulling out the chair nearest you to sit.

Jenni had been one of your closest friends at Tigres, and she was eagerly checking in on your move to Barcelona every day, but you had held back about the challenges you were having with Alexia. You were afraid to gossip about the captain, especially with Jenni, and you weren’t entirely sure what kind of reaction to expect. But after the day you had, you craved Jenni’s support and guidance too much to keep holding back.

The phone only rang twice before Jenni picked up, greeting you with a cheery “¡hola, cariño!” you tried to answer her in return, but you were caught off guard by the wave of tears that surged back at the sound of her voice. All you managed was an urgent sniffle as you fought to hold the tears at bay.

“¿Cari? ¿Qué pasa?” Jenni’s voice, now concerned, crackled through your phone’s speakers again. After a moment, you felt Jana’s hand slide onto your knee comfortingly. You turned to her and saw that she had reached her other hand out, palm up. You handed the phone to her and watched as she immediately brought it to her ear.

“Hola, Jenni. Es Jana.” she greeted her former teammate before launching into a stream of spanish too quick for you to try to follow. You zoned out to the sound of Jana’s voice, focusing on deep breaths to unclench the tight knot of tears high in your throat.

You had managed to relax yourself considerably by the time Jana brought your attention back with a light squeeze to your knee where her hand still rested. You looked up to see her holding the phone between the two of you, an expectant look on her face.

“Jenni asked if you are ready to tell what’s wrong.” You nodded and took a deep breath.

“Alexia hates me. I don’t know what I did, but she hates me and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“How do you know, what is she doing? Cari, Alexia is shy and competetivo. Maybe she doesn’t know she is hurting you.”

“No, Jen.” you felt a tear roll down your cheek. “She knows. If it’s just the two us she will ignore me, she can’t even look at me. When we are with the team she tells me everything I do is wrong, my touch, my passes, my shots. I know I am not as good as everyone else here, but I’m trying and none of it is enough for her. I can see how she is patient and kind with the young ones, so I know it is about me.”

“Es verdad, I haven’t been in the practices, but the others have been worried about it. I didn’t know it was so bad, but Ale has been muy dura.” Jana chimed in, and you were a little surprised to hear her mention the team was concerned.

“I thought I wanted to play here, but I can’t do this for three years. I just want to be back at Tigres.” you admitted.

“Lo siento, Y/n. Lo siento mucho. I wish I was there to hug you.” you could tell she meant it by the waver in her voice, and it made you miss her even more fiercely.

You talked through everything you could think of, all your interactions with Alexia, every idea you had eliminated for what went wrong. Jenni and Jana alternated between outrage and murmured words of comfort, but mostly just listened as you vented everything you had been holding in for weeks. By the end, you actually felt better. Whether it was the release of finally letting everything go, or the relief of hearing two people who knew Alexia agree that something wasn’t right, a weight was definitely lifted from your chest.

“So what should I do?” You finally asked Jenni. “How can I fix whatever this is?”

“Oh, nena, you shouldn’t fix this, it’s Alexia who needs to. Quandó ella escuche lo que tengo--”

“Jenni, no porfa! You can’t talk to her about this.” You loved Jenni, hot head and all, but you couldn’t let her go off on Alexia about this. “Thank you, I know you would do that for me, but I need to do this. I don’t want her to think-- I can’t ruin—”

“Vale, I understand, cari. I won’t say anything, prometo.” Jenni saved you from struggling to explain further. In the pause that followed, Jana spoke suddenly from next to you.

“I think you need to talk to Ale. O sea, if you want to understand what is in her head. Maybe Mapi knows, but,” she stopped with a shrug, and Jenni finished for her,

“Only Ale knows what Ale is thinking. Jana is right.” You nodded, even though Jenni couldn’t see you. She sighed over the phone, then continued. “It might be easier if you are gentle. Even if she doesn’t deserve it.”

“Gracias, Jenni.” You were suddenly very tired. “Te amo mucho. I wish I was back with you.”

“Yo también, nena. Te amo mucho. I am here if you need me.”

“I know. Good night.”

“Good night.” You hung up the phone and placed it on the table.

Jana stood from the chair next to you and held a hand out to you. When you took it, she pulled you gently to your feet, then wrapped you in a hug. You immediately softened into the embrace, grateful for the comfort. She held you close for a long moment, then released you into a light hold.

“I know you have Ingrid, but I’m here for you too, Y/n. We haven’t had much time to get to know each other, but I’m glad you are at Barça and I want to be your friend.” The earnest look in her eyes as she spoke nearly had your own tearing up again. You tugged her back into a hug, squeezing her fiercely before you let go.

“Gracias, Jana. I want to be your friend too. Thank you.” You could feel a smile break across your face, and she grinned in return. “I should let you go home before it is too late. Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes, gracias. It is a short drive, we are almost neighbors. You can visit me soon and I will show you!”

You walked Jana back down to her car, exchanging numbers before you said your goodbyes. Despite everything, you felt a glow of hope for your future at Barcelona. At least you had a new friend and some kind of plan.

--

You were halfway through your pre-practice routine the following morning when your phone chimed with a message. It was Jana.

Jana: ¡Hola! Do you need a ride this morning?

Jana: Because I made you leave your car

Jana: Not sorry for that 😋🚙

You had completely forgotten about your car, so you were grateful for both the reminder and the offer.

You: Yes, thank you! I can walk to you if that is easier.

Jana: Do not worry, I will pick you up. 20 minutes?

You: Perfect

True to her word, Jana picked you up outside 20 minutes later. The drive was much more lighthearted than the previous night. You asked about Jana’s english, curious about why it was so good when she had spent her whole career in Spain. She started to explain that it was part of the curriculum at La Masia, but then cracked a smile and confessed that it was mostly because she was dating Jill and it was much easier than learning Dutch.

You had been curious about the rumors around the two, and seeing the way Jana lit up made you glad to hear they were true. You said as much to the defender, which led to her telling the story of how they met during the rest of the drive. The sweet story left you both in a good mood as you pulled up to the training center.

You climbed out of the car and grabbed your bag, laughing with Jana as she came up next to you and bumped into your shoulder as you started to walk together. For the first time in a while, you didn’t feel dread at the thought of walking into training, and you weren’t desperately searching for any sight of Ingrid. Jana seemed to be noticing the same thing.

“You will have to let me take you home more often if it puts you in this good of a mood!” She said, wrapping one arm around your shoulders.

You were about to respond when another voice beat you to it.

“Jana. Y/N.”

You froze, looking up to see Alexia approaching. Jana squeezed your shoulder where her hand rested. The captain had an unreadable expression on her face, eyes darting from you to Jana, then back to you.

“Hola, Capitana.” You said, lowering your gaze as her eyes met yours.

“Can I talk to you?” It was clear that the question was directed at you. When you didn’t immediately respond, she spoke again, voice softening almost imperceptibly. “Jana, vé sin nosotros. Iremos pronto.”

Jana caught your eye and you nodded slightly. You appreciated her willingness to look out for you, but you didn’t want to get her in trouble, not to mention you wanted to speak to Alexia anyway. The defender gave you a final squeeze to your arm before walking past Alexia toward the training center.

The two of you stood in silence. For a moment, your mind raced to guess what she had stopped you to say, but you pushed the worry down. With the way your relationship was going, it hardly seemed worth predicting what her latest criticism would be. You stared over Alexia’s shoulder, waiting.

“Jana has a girlfriend.” It was maybe the last thing you expected the midfielder to say, and you were caught completely off guard.

“What? I—I know.” You sputtered out. Jana’s last comment jumped into your mind, and when Alexia didn’t say anything else, you felt the need to continue and clarify. “What Jana said… She didn’t mean what it sounded like. She gave me a ride home last night and then this morning.”

“Bueno.” Alexia finally said, quieter than before.

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, voice flat.

“Ah...” she hesitated. “No.”

The blonde turned and walked away as you watched. The good mood you had only a few minutes earlier was gone, leaving behind a sort of hollow feeling. Jana had been the one to drive you, the one with her arm around your shoulders, and the one to make a silly joke about taking you home, but still, Alexia assumed the worst of you and you only. Suddenly, you felt like an idiot for thinking you could talk anything out with the captain. A surge of hopelessness washed over you as you imagined her scrutinizing every interaction you had with your teammates in addition to your skills on the pitch, and you felt sick. You walked to where you left your car last night, pulling out your phone to text Jonatan.

You: Lo siento, estoy enferma y no puedo ir a practicar.

--

Once at home, you buried yourself under the covers on your bed. You still felt awful from the interaction with Alexia, but you were overwhelmed by a wave of other emotions-- guilt for missing practice, anger at yourself for letting a personal issue get in the way of your career, and a deep fear that things were not going to get better.

Your phone was vibrating in the other room, but you ignored it, certain it wasn’t anyone you wanted to talk to right now. Ingrid was at the practice you just left, and it was far too early for Jenni or your family to be awake in their timezones.

As you lay bundled in your bed, the adrenaline from your high emotions faded, and you found yourself suddenly fighting heavy eyelids. Slowly, you faded into sleep.

--

You awoke to a loud pounding on your apartment door. Disoriented, you dragged yourself out of bed, padding out into the living room as the noise continued. You flipped the deadbolt and yanked the door open, coming suddenly face to face with your insistent visitor.

“Alexia?”

The blonde shouldered her way past you without a word, marching into your living room and looking wildly around. You closed the door and locked it before turning back to see Alexia peering into your bedroom. You snapped.

“Alexia! What the hell are you doing?”

“Looking for Ingrid!” She turned to snarl at you, eyes cold.

“What? Ingrid’s not here, what are you talking about?” You were genuinely confused, and Alexia barreling her way through your apartment wasn’t helping. You reached out and caught her by the elbow as she made to walk into your bedroom. “Stop, please! Can you just explain what’s going on?”

Alexia shook your hand off her arm, but stayed put.

“I’m not stupid. You show up here while Mapi is injured and try to steal her girlfriend. I see you every day at practice all over Ingrid. You don’t talk to anyone except her, you follow her around, you take her out for coffee, all while my best friend isn’t there to see. At first I thought you were just friendly, but it’s only with her.” Her chest heaved as she paused to take a breath. “Then I realized today you skipped practice and convinced Ingrid to join you and I knew.”

Your head was spinning and you were certain your jaw was nearly on the floor. You understood Alexia’s words, but struggled to comprehend what she was saying. As it finally clicked, a burst of laughter rose up in your chest. Alexia looked on, eyes narrowed, as you found yourself almost giggling.

“I’m, I’m sorry. It’s not funny!” You managed, pulling yourself together with a deep breath. “It’s just… you’ve been making me feel awful for weeks now because you think I’m trying to steal Ingrid from your friend? Did you even think to bring it up to Mapi herself?”

The blonde made no move to respond.

“I’ve been friends with Ingrid since we were 17. Mapi knows that. If we had any interest in each other we would have sorted it out long before now. You’re completely right that I’ve been following her around and sticking by her side, but you’re completely wrong about why. God, Alexia, I just came from halfway across the world to play for a team full of people I’ve looked up to for years. I miss my family and Jenni and the rest of my old teammates. A month ago, Ingrid was the only person I knew in this entire stupid country!”

You closed your eyes for a long moment, trying to calm your racing heart. Your body felt like you had just played 90 minutes of a championship final. When you eventually opened your eyes again, it was to the sight of Alexia still rooted to the same spot. She had hardly moved a muscle other than to drop her gaze to the floor, back and shoulders. rigid with tension. You left her in the bedroom doorway and walked over to sink into the same kitchen chair Jana had occupied last night.

“Y/n, I—” she started, but paused at the sound of the lock, then the knob turning on the door. It swung open.

“Y/n! Sorry to use your spare key, but you weren’t answering my texts! I would have come sooner, but I had a dentist’s appointment I had to leave practice for. Are you okay? Are you sick? Jana said you seemed fine until you talked to Alexia this morning, did she say something?”

“I’m okay.” Ingrid’s gaze caught you when you spoke, then rose to look past you as she responded.

“Good, I-- Alexia?”

“Alexia was just leaving.” You spoke before the blonde could. “Are you okay to drive home, Capitana?”

“Sí. Yes.” She answered quietly, finally moving away from your bedroom and towards the door to leave. Before she stepped out, she paused to turn your way. “Lo siento, Y/n. I will fix this.”

When the door shut behind her, you dropped your head into your arms on the table.

Part 2

[consistencynevermether]

Hey there! I have been following your acc for a while now and I'm completely obsessed with your Vere fics. I really love how you write the relationship dynamic between the reader and him! Your fics never fail to make me giggle like a high school girl in love lol.

The little snippets of jealous Vere in your works is so good. It makes me wonder how Vere would be if he was full blown jealous and possessive (I LOVE VERE SO MUCH GRRRRR)

A/N: aaaaa I'm so glad you like my Vere fics, HES SOOO AKSDFKASDFOSDJ. i cant wait for the game!!!! giggling like a hs girl is the highest compliment thank you so much!! this fic became a combo of jealous Vere and the reader lowkey matching his freak, I hope you enjoy!! i think this is my first time writing an established relationship with Vere so lmk what yall think!!!

content: Vere x GN! reader, sfw, 1.2k words, established relationship

Vere stared at you through half lidded eyes, the alcohol clouding his judgement more than he would like to admit.

Vere never considered himself unnecessarily dramatic. Theatrical and sarcastic? Absolutely. But despite the flippant front he put up, he knew when it was best to let things go. As much as he loved solving all his problems with violence, he knew that wasn't always the response people would enjoy. And by people, he meant you. Everyone else could fuck off and choke for all he cared.

But the last thing he wanted was to cage you. To make you feel like you couldn't talk to other men or always had to tell him where you were. No, he understood very well how important freedom was. And he had always prided himself on being secure in his relationship with you. Clingy yes, but you never gave him any reason to be insecure.

But tonight, he was pretty sure he was going to have to kill a man. Specifically the man at the bar who would not stop fucking talking to you.

You were humoring him, barely. Showing vague interest in whatever bullshit he was yapping your ear off about, just being polite really. This guy simply couldn't take the hint though. And worse, he was inching closer with each of your acknowledging nods. 

The whiskey glass began to splinter and crack where his claws grazed the cup. Each second he watched caused his chest to tie itself in more knots. 

Please leave. He thought to himself. Please leave and get eaten by a soulless. 

He continued to glare daggers at the man you were speaking with. How long had the two of you been talking? Had you told him anything about yourself? What did he know? Did he-

His train of thought was cut off by you grabbing his attention from the corner of his eye.

It was nothing really, just a knowing glance in his direction, an acknowledgement that you were looking at him. That's all it took for Vere to notice you. 

You mimicked his glare and chuckled to yourself, then raised an eyebrow. A silent question just for him. 

You had wanted to know what had him so pissy, he'd bet money you'd phrase it just like that too. 

Vere flashed his fangs in a tight smile. The message was clear. “If you want to know, ask me.”

He knew it was just a little petty, but he wanted your attention.

You simply shook your head with a smile and began to walk over to him. He had to plant one of his heeled boots firmly on his tail to keep it from wagging.

You took one step, and the man from the bar wrapped his arm around your waist, stopping you from leaving his personal space.

The glass in his hand shattered into a thousand pieces. 

You had given the man a look of unadulterated disgust, and was contemplating hitting him or just slipping out of his grasp.

You didn't have time to choose an option before Vere got to him.

One second the man's hands were around your waist, and the next all you heard was a scream and the sound of gushing blood.

He held his face as he crumpled to the ground, blood spurting from the 4 deep claw marks that now graces the right side of his face. Vere stood over him, the tips of his fingers covered in blood. Despite that, he was perfectly clean.

Vere turned away from the man and towards you, a smile full of charm, as if he thought if he acted suave enough you wouldn't notice the screaming man holding what was left of his eye in his socket. His clean hand wrapped around your shoulder as he took the now occupied seat next to you. He threw his long legs over your lap, very clearly claiming you as his own. 

Everyone in the bar seemed to get the message loud and clear, and decided to politely ignore the man's screams. 

“So, what are we drinking tonight darling?” Vere cheerfully asked.

“Well I was going to try one of Leanders concoctions, but let's step outside instead.’’ you responded.

Vere’s smile faltered for just a second. Shit, were you mad? 

You reached for veres bloody hand and interlaced his fingers with yours, the blood oozing between your connected palms as you lightly tugged him away from the bar and back outside. 

You gave him a smile over your shoulder that could only be described as smitten, and Vere knew he wasn't in trouble. 

You both found your way to the alley you had spoken in on your first night in Erida. You hopped up to sit on a few wooden crates, and Vere moved to stand in between your legs, letting his head fall to rest on your shoulders.

You lightly tugged him in closer, your hands wrapping around his back as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

The two of you stayed like this for a few minutes, Vere melting into your touch till he was almost laying on top of you. 

“Feeling better?” you asked.

“I should have killed him.” Vere scoffed, more annoyed than actually upset at this point. 

“You did a very good job at restraining yourself.” you cooed, an edge of teasing in your voice.

“Oh fuck off.” Vere scoffed. “He was pissing you off two, I could tell.”

“You should've come over, we could have made him really uncomfortable and left. Something really creative, like we're both in a clown cult.” 

Vere said something in response, his voice muffled by your neck.

“What??”

“I didn't want you to think I was jealous,” he repeated.

“Ok, but you were jealous.”

Yeah, but you don't need to know that.” 

“Vere,” you started, as you grabbed his bloodied hand and moved it to your cheek, nuzzling slightly into his palm. The man's blood streaked against your skin. “Next time just tell me. We can kick his ass together.”

Vere felt the knots in his chest completely disappear at your words. Despite his looks, Vere hadn't always been lucky in finding partners who felt as deeply as he did. There was a time he had wanted more than casual with Ais, and the feelings definitely weren't reciprocal. 

But you? You always matched him, like two puzzle pieces meant to go together. When he wrapped his arm around your waist, you leaned in closer. When he held your hand, you laced your fingers with his. When he spoke, he always had you undivided attention. When Vere made a move to kiss your cheek, you turned to capture his lips, your hands moving to the back of his head to hold him there for as long as he would allow.

There was a silent understanding between the two of you. Vere was never too much for you, and you were never more wanted than with Vere. Let Vere be as jealous as he wants, you would always be there regardless. And one day, he would realize this too. But for now, being in your arms was comfort enough.

[sweetdispatch]

Sex stays, right? - J. Hughes

Purple Chemistry | Previous Chapter timeline: December 2023 - January 2024 summary: Jack opened to you after one of his lost games to later ignore you warning: mentions of sex, swear words, misunderstanding note: devils - rangers game is a good reason to post another chapter haha

Everything went back to normal with you two. Well, normal after your secret was out. Jack was still showing up at your apartment when he needed to fuck you. Although, after you received the flowers, you started talking on a daily basis. It wasn’t the same as earlier when he only wanted sex. You felt that he’s trying to trust you again.

Still, Jack was enjoying the deal you two had about sex. He didn’t want to pressure things but having someone for a night was nice. He didn't feel bad that he was using you for this but after he fucked you and left undone, it brought him to realisation that you’re more than just this. He was bitter about the lie and your favorite club but he wanted to make it as normal as possible. 

During Christmas time, Jack gave you a gift and you were in shock because you didn’t prepare anything for him. You never thought he would come up with something like that. It was a teddy bear and your favorite chocolate but for you, this gesture meant a lot. You wanted to give him something but he was repeating that it’s fine. This teddy bear was sleeping with you from now on.

Day before New Year’s Eve, Jack played in Boston. You watched this game and saw that his team had a 2:0 lead, and lost 2:5. This time, you held your tongue and decided not to say anything. You felt bad for him but not bad enough to talk with him about it. You were sitting quietly at home, searching for inspiration for a tomorrow’ party. 

You woke up in the morning and went to prepare yourself with lemon water. You heard knocking on your door. Being sure that one of your friends decided to visit you, you opened the door but it was Jack. You let him in but didn’t say a word to him. You were keen on your preparations instead of him. 

“I feel like a loser” He sighed and dropped on the couch. 

“It’s just one game, move on and focus on the next one” You didn’t want to have your mood ruined because of his pity party.

“Easy to say for you, we were leading and later we let score 5 fucking goals”

“Oh c’mon, games like that happen. Now, you can just learn from the mistake and be better in the next ones” You said while washing your glass. “Now, do you want anything more or can I start getting ready?” 

“Are you going somewhere?” He asked surprised.

“Yeah? I’m going to a party with my friends and I need to get ready” You replied.

“Can I stay and just talk?” You looked at him with shock written on your face.

“Um… sure. If you want” 

You went into your bedroom and sat down in front of your mirror. You pulled out your cosmetics and started working on your eye look. Jack sat down on the bed and talked his heart out about this game, how he feels playing and how his team is doing. You were listening to every one of his words but didn’t interrupt him. You wanted him to feel free to express his feelings. 

For Jack it felt so normal to lay in your bed and talk about everything. He hadn’t felt weird to be honest with you about what he’s thinking. Your presence was calming him even if you were only listening to him. He wished you two were more than this but he couldn’t forgive you lies and he was bitter over who you are rooting for. In his mind, you're a Rangers fan so you could never truly support him. 

After two hours, you were done with your makeup and stood up to go change into a dress. Jack laid on your bed and rested. This was a quiet moment between you two. No talking, just enjoying each other's presence. You grabbed the dress and went into the bathroom to change.

“I saw you naked, you don’t need to hide” Jack joked and you rolled your eyes. 

When you were ready, you left the room and Jack looked at you. You were wearing a short black dress that laid perfectly on your body. He was looking at you for a couple seconds and you felt insecure that it’s not a good choice.

“Do I look bad that you are staring?” You asked him and he quickly shook his head.

“No, actually I think you look gorgeous” You blushed hearing his words.

“Thanks” You walked into a closet to pick out high heels and a purse.

Jack sat up on your bed and couldn’t erase the image of you in this dress. You looked like a goddess and all he wanted to do now was to worship your whole body. Quickly he remembered that you’re going to a party and started feeling possessive that other men will be looking at you just like he is. Your voice brought him back to reality.

“Okay, I’m ready and you need to leave” You said while putting on your earrings. 

“Do you need a ride to the party?” He asked you but in reality, he just wanted to know where you were going and be sure that you’re safe.

“Yes, you’ll save me some money” You giggled.

You left the bedroom and grabbed your coat from a hanger. Jack followed you and you two left your apartment. You were following him to his car. As a gentleman, he opened the door for you. You gave him the address and focused on the road ahead of you. It was a nice feeling to know that he’s there with you but you felt like he’s doing this as a way to repay that he could talk to you earlier.

“If you want, I can pick you up from the party” You heard his voice. 

“No need, I’m coming home with my friend and I’m staying there for night, but thanks”

Jack dropped you in front of the house where the party was held. You placed your hand on the handle to open the door before Jack stopped you. 

“Let me know after the party that you’re safe… please” You looked at him, shocked that he cares that much about you. 

“Yeah, of course” You replied and just like that, you left him behind walking into the party. 

Jack watched you when you entered the house. He felt jealous that he’s not the one to take you out there or be your plus one. Today’s day made him realise that he has stronger feelings towards you that he would like to admit. Although he started questioning if you also had them looking at how cold you were to him. 

Since the New Year’s Party, you felt like Jack is putting distance between you two. He started talking less to you and you were wondering if you did something wrong. Maybe he’s mad that you didn’t respond to him while he was having a monologue? That was your first thought. You asked him about it but he said that everything is fine.

For you, nothing was fine. Jack was starting to trust you again but now, he was ignoring you. You knew that there’s a tension between you two, when after a tough loss, he hasn't showed up at your place like he was always doing. You wanted to scream at him and get your answers but decided to give him space instead. Two can play this game.

You stopped talking to him. For the past weeks, it was you who always started the conversation and Jack’ replies were dry. You were done with this. If he made up his mind, he’ll text you. One day turned into one week with no message from him. It bothered you but you didn’t want to let him win. 

Jack was confused with his feelings. One part of him wanted to have you close but the other part was scared that he’ll fall for you. He thought that the best thing he could do is to keep you away while he’s trying to figure out things. He felt bad that you’re always the one to talk with him but he didn’t do anything to change it. When you stopped, it finally was a signal for him that he needs to fix it.

You were coming back from work after a tough day. You needed a bath and wine to relax. When you left the elevator, you saw Jack standing in front of your door with flowers in his hands.

“What are you doing here?” You said not even bothered to look at him. You were searching your keys in the purse. 

“I came to apologise but you weren’t home so I waited” You opened the door and walked into your place, he followed you into. “This is for you” He handed you the flowers. You went to grab a vase and put the flowers.

“Thanks” You replied and the two of you stood in awkward silence for a minute. “Are you planning to say something or just came to fuck me?” 

“I just want to say sorry. I’ve been awful for the past couple of weeks and you didn’t deserve it. It's just…” He took a deep breath. “I like you and you're a good friend for me but it feels weird for me to forget about the lie and I needed to think about what we are even doing” He chuckled. “But when you stopped talking to me, I realised that I miss our pointless conversations and just hanging out around you” 

“Let me get this straight. You needed to think if you want me around you because I lied to you and you didn’t know if you can forgive me?” You asked.

“Yeah but as you said this like that, it sounds terrible” He laughed.

“It does” You sighed. “So what are we?” 

“Friends? If you want this of course” 

“I want this” You hugged him. 

“But the sex stays right?” You rolled your eyes at his words. 

“Sure thing. Now if you excuse me I have a date with my bath and wine” 

“How about you take a bath and I’ll order food and we’ll enjoy the night” You smiled at him.

“I would love that”

You prepared your bath and laid in the hot water trying to relax. Instead, Jack’ voice was ringing in your head and his words. You were overthinking the whole situation. In the meantime, he ordered your favorite meal and poured you a glass of wine. He didn’t want to drink because he still needed to return to his apartment. He turned on your favorite movie and waited for you. 

When you stepped out of the bathroom, you dressed up in more comfortable clothes and went to the living room. You saw Jack unpacking your food and smiled at this sign. It felt too good to be true. You sat next to him and the two of you enjoyed the meal and movie. After you finished eating, you started talking about how your life has been lately and joked around. Couple hours later, he left your apartment and you were lost in your thoughts about what the two of you are.

Last two months were interesting to say. You and Jack after a major argument and his ghosting finally returned on the right track. Everything was going smoothly for both of you and you felt like he’s trusting you again after the conversation when he returned from Boston. Your feelings for him came back like a boomerang and this time, you didn’t want to mess up. 

Jack opened his heart for you again. It was a tough process for him but last month helped him to realise that you’re his true friend. He needed to have you around because even if you were on the opposite side in his sports life, you were always next to him in his private life and that was the most important thing for him. 

Next Chapter

[paigesbasketball]

A prank to Remember

paige x reader

warnings: None just fluff!!

It was the evening of your three-year anniversary with Paige Bueckers, and the city lights of New York glistened all around you. You had spent the day together—enjoying each other’s company, sharing laughs, and talking about how much your relationship had grown over the past three years. But something felt a little off.

You had planned the evening to be special—dinner at your favorite spot, a quiet walk through the city, and then, who knows? But as the night wore on, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Paige wasn’t quite as excited as you were.

You’d been waiting for her to mention the anniversary, but she hadn’t brought it up once. The closer you got to dinner, the more distracted she seemed. Checking her phone every few minutes, answering texts, and acting a bit distant.

You decided to ask her, trying to hide the doubt creeping into your mind. “So, Paige… do you know what today is?”

She glanced at you with a raised eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Yeah, of course. What’s today?”

“Do you remember?” you pressed, trying to keep your tone light but nervous.

Paige looked at you, her face the picture of innocence. “I mean, I don’t know. I guess I’m a little distracted with all this stuff going on. What’s today?” she asked again, playing the role of someone who genuinely had no clue.

Your stomach dropped. No way. She forgot? You swallowed hard. “It’s our anniversary, Paige. Three years.”

She paused for a second, her face completely blank as if she had no idea what you were talking about. “Wait, seriously? Our anniversary is today?”

You froze. Is she really playing me right now?

“No way. How could I forget?” she said, pretending to be surprised. But her playful smirk and the twinkle in her eyes told you otherwise. You felt a mix of confusion and disappointment. Had she seriously forgotten?

“I thought we were doing something special tonight,” you said, your voice tinged with frustration. “But you seem like you don’t even care.”

Paige chuckled, reaching out to hold your hand. “I do care. I swear. I just wanted to prank you a little. I’ve got something planned, okay?”

“Really?” you asked, still unsure if she was just messing with you.

“Really,” she said, grinning ear to ear. “Just trust me.”

Paige led you through the streets of the city, and the further you went, the more you began to question everything. She hadn’t really said anything to reassure you, and you couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. After everything, had she actually forgotten your anniversary?

Finally, she stopped in front of a small park that was tucked away from the busy streets. The air was crisp, and the only sounds you could hear were the distant city hums and the soft rustling of the trees in the gentle breeze.

“I know this is a little different than what you expected,” Paige said, giving you a soft, reassuring smile. “But just trust me.”

As you stepped into the park, you saw fairy lights strung across the trees, illuminating the space with a soft, magical glow. The atmosphere was quiet, peaceful, and intimate—nothing like the hustle of the city outside. A blanket was laid out in the center of the park, with candles flickering around the edges, and a picnic basket beside it.

You stopped in your tracks, your heart racing. “Paige… What is this?”

She motioned for you to sit down, her smile growing even more tender. “I knew you’d think I forgot, so I decided to surprise you. You always know how to make me laugh, and I wanted to make sure this anniversary was just as special as you are.”

You sank down onto the blanket, still in disbelief. “This is perfect,” you whispered. “You really got me good.”

Paige sat next to you, pulling out the basket. She unpacked your favorite snacks, poured two glasses of wine, and set everything up with a small, playful laugh. “I know, I’m a little sneaky. But I had to make it memorable.”

As the two of you talked and laughed, the moment felt perfect—until Paige suddenly stopped, her eyes shining with something deeper.

“Hey, I have one more surprise for you,” she said, her voice soft, serious, yet filled with excitement.

You turned to her, your heart starting to race again. “Another one?”

“Yeah,” she said, her hand shaking just a little as she reached into her jacket pocket. “I’ve been holding onto this for a while, and I couldn’t think of a better moment than now.”

Your breath caught in your throat as she pulled out a small velvet box, the soft glow of the fairy lights making the moment feel even more magical. You blinked, trying to process what was happening.

“Paige, what is this?” you asked, your voice trembling with emotion.

She smiled nervously, her eyes never leaving yours. “I know we’ve been through a lot over the last three years, and I know life gets crazy sometimes. But what I know for sure is that I want you by my side, always. No matter where we go, or what happens… I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Your heart was pounding now, and you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Paige Bueckers, the woman you loved, was kneeling in front of you, holding out a ring.

“Will you marry me?” she asked softly, her voice full of love and sincerity.

Tears welled in your eyes as you looked at her, speechless for a moment. You never expected this—especially after the day of pranks and uncertainty—but in that moment, it felt like the world had paused just for the two of you.

“Yes,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Paige grinned and slipped the ring onto your finger, her face lighting up with happiness. She kissed you softly, her lips lingering a little longer than usual, as if she wanted to savor every second.

“I love you,” she murmured against your lips, her arms wrapping around you.

“I love you, too,” you whispered back, pulling her close.

As you both sat there in the park, surrounded by the soft glow of fairy lights and the sound of the city in the distance, everything felt perfect. The prank, the surprise, and the proposal—it was everything you had dreamed of and more.

Three years together, and you knew that this was only the beginning of forever.

[yearningaces]

Thinking and thoughts here

Could you just imagine the impossible with me? Being in a loving marriage with your beloved husband -who you believe is human because why wouldn't you? He looks and acts like every other human and monsters aren't real. And he just adored you so very much, he communicates when he doesn't understand something or when a miscommunication is had. He never fights with you but you both work together to fix any problems, and focus on showing how much you care for each other. Truthfully he's the model husband. Almost to a scripted degree, but you've never felt so adored. Especially when he mirrors your affection and never seems to expect anything explicit, nor want it either. It feels safe, and comfortable... So why do you feel the sense of dread in your gut as you're looking at him right now?

Well, it might be how he's standing in the doorway, bag of takeout in hand, smile on his face. Mirroring how he always stands. But it's a brief moment, a flash of dark lines almost like thread wrapping around his joints, moving him like a giant flesh puppet.

And just as quickly as they were seen- they're gone again. Just your loving husband, Dorrin. Standing tall and gazing down, as though the mountain was watching the river below. Absolutely enamored and unyielding to everyone except you who he'd mold himself to better love as time goes on.

At your expression, his smile fades into a look of concern. His gaze follows yours, to his hand. And the brief flash of threading is gone but he knows exactly what you've seen.

His gaze returns to you, hollow. Slowly setting down the bag he was carrying and slowly crosses the room to get to you.

He seems... Empty. As if any signals for how he should be acting have been cut off. His looming figure almost listless as he gazes down at you with a dull gaze, no life behind his eyes. After a moment, his voice finally rings out. "Has this one displeased you, little love?"

You feel an inherent wrongness about how your beloved husband is speaking presumably of himself as if he isn't even here, with a slight stumble back it answers his question well enough.

Dorrin slumps, like a wind up toy who's finished it's final dance. The voice that drifts through the air is so familiar yet leaves your brain trembling at the sheer magnitude of the being behind it even if unseen. "I apologize, this puppet has proven defective for its sole purpose. Rest assured, such an oversight will be rectified promptly. Only the best shall be allowed closest to you."

With a horrified expression you can only watch as Dorrin- what you know to be Dorrin is... Folded away. Limbs snapping together into a ball not unlike when a child is ready to toss away their doll. And it's... Not there anymore. No blink of an eye, no noise or sight, it was there and it wasn't. And now you stand in the empty living room of a home you've shared with someone you thought you knew so very well.

What do you do?

What can you do?

You can feel gazes on you still, the same when that thing would watch you while you rested together. You can try to move towards a door or even a window and find them consumed in darkness. There is no threat here, but you are not allowed to leave at the moment.

You don't know it yet, but Dorrin just wants to keep you safe in the home he's so carefully crafted for you alone. Tonight he'll leave a new puppet at your door, identical to the last hundred that had done something leading to any inconvenience on you. You've never noticed before, and he doesn't know how to condense himself into a small enough form to be loved by such a miniscule creature he's so deeply fallen for. But that puppets strings weren't good enough to remain hidden. The new one will be better.

Only the best for you.

He will ensure it.

(Basically what happens when an endless creature of Eldritch being falls for a little bitty human? Why not craft a puppet to express his love for them on a scale they can comprehend! But those fickle puppets- never perfect enough for his little love)

[syoish-aot]

"I Found You" - EREN/READER - REVERSE ISEKAI (part 8 - FINALE)

reverse isekai, time travel, memory loss

post canon

reader/eren

word count: 3912

<- PART 7

*note: This part includes the song "Until I Found You" by Stephen Sanchez (spotify / youtube) and I very strongly recommend listening to it once that scene starts. You'll be able to tell when to play it.

And now, for the end:

*****

You thought that with Mikasa here, Eren would finally start to act more normal.

You thought wrong.

In fact, it almost feels like he’s avoiding you more now. 

You can barely catch sight of him in the crowded restaurant, as the hours pass and everyone gets a little more drunk. On the occasions that you do see him, he’s always tucked away in a corner talking to Armin. Or Mikasa. Or Jean or Sasha or Connie.

The fact that it’s them isn’t weird, they’re his best friends, but what is weird is that you’re not included. What is weird is the way the conversation comes to a sudden stop when you approach. What is weird is the sudden tension that washes over Eren as his back straightens, he takes in a breath, and his eyes immediately go to anywhere but you. 

It’s. Weird.

And it hurts so much that you constantly have to remind yourself not to cry.

You’re trying to piece together what happened. What you did wrong. But you genuinely have no idea! Last night had been date night. You’d gone out to see a movie that Eren had been dying to see and then you came home. You and Eren made dinner together before you fell into bed and passed out next to each other, feeling like your life was perfect.

But then you’d woken up this morning and things had been far from perfect. 

Things had been the exact opposite of perfe-

“You look like shit,” Hitch says as she leans against the bar next to you.

“Lovely to see you too, Hitch.”

Hitch is more of a friend-in-law than anything. A member of Eren’s social circle that you were sucked into when the two of you started dating. The only times you've really been “close” to her have been during drunken meet-ups in bar bathrooms when you've both sobbed about how pretty the other is while vowing to be best friends for life.

Normal girl stuff.

“Trouble in paradise~?” She teases as you roll your eyes and take another sip of your drink.

“No.” You immediately answer (despite the obvious lie).

Hitch laughs. “Alright, so the way you keep glaring at your boyfriend is some new form of foreplay then?”

Your cheeks burn. “Hitch that’s- you’re so gross!”

Hitch shrugs. “I’m just calling it like it is.” 

Her eyes follow yours and she looks over at Eren. He’s on the other side of the restaurant with Armin, speaking in hushed tones with a serious expression on his face. 

“I’m worried he’s about to break up with me.” The words tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them.

In a shocking turn of events, Hitch doesn’t tease you about it. “Really?” She asks seriously.

“...yeah…”

“What makes you say that?”

“He’s just-” you sigh, “he was so weird this morning and he’s been avoiding me all day. When he looks at me it’s completely different from the way he normally looks at me. It’s like he’s- like he’s mad or something. I don’t get it.”

Hitch shrugs. “Did you guys get into a fight?”

“No.”

“Then he’s probably just being a weird guy about something. I bet you said something stupid and now he’s all in his head. Men are like that, you know. Stupidly emotional over the tiniest things.”

The world really must be fucked, because what Hitch is saying almost… makes sense.

“At the risk of regretting this,” you start before you tear your eyes away from Eren and look over at her, “what should I do?”

Hitch snickers and smiles that stupid Cheshire cat smile that you hate. “If it were me,” which you’re glad it’s not, given Hitch’s awful track record, “I’d give him a nice little reminder of what he’d be missing if he left.”

“Like what?”

“Quickie in the bathroom. I dunno.”

Your cheeks burn for the second time. “Hitch it’s the opening night of Niccolo’s restaurant!!”

She laughs loudly. “And what a perfect way to christen the handicap stall!”

“I can’t believe you…” You mumble as you stare back at your glass.

Then again… maybe she’s not completely wrong. 

Not about screwing your boyfriend in the bathroom of your friend’s newly opened restaurant, of course! But about giving Eren a reminder. It didn’t seem like an awful idea, anyway.

You stare down at your drink.

And then you chug the rest of it.

*****

“So we’re just born again or something and it’s- it’s like no one even cares about before?” Eren asked, scowling at the table he and Armin were sitting at. Mikasa had filled him in about how everyone’s memories get triggered at some point, but she’d left it at that after they’d gotten distracted talking about-...

His eyes naturally trail across the restaurant until they fall to you.

His cheeks flush.

Damit.

He looks away.

Armin laughs softly. “I know it’s confusing right now, but you’ll get used to it.”

“Doubt that,” Eren mumbled as he returned to the subject at hand. He takes a nervous breath. “I-... I killed too many people to get off that easy.”

Armin was silent for a moment. “Yes we-... we did.”

Eren slowly looks over at Armin. Armin, who was staring into his glass as he ran his thumb up and down the condensation, seemingly lost in thought.

“The thing about this life though,” Armin starts, “is that everyone has an understanding that it’s… it’s different. None of the stuff that happened before happened here. Yes, you still need to make amends but- but everyone gets it. Everyone understands that our last lives were complicated and instead of focusing on that we just try to enjoy the chance we’ve been given to live again.” 

Eren looks around the restaurant at the people he knew hundreds of years ago who are alive again under completely different circumstances. 

Marco is playing darts with Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt. He hits a bullseye and all four of them cheer. 

Sasha is sneaking a french fry off of Gabi’s plate. Gabi smacks her and with a scowl but Sasha flashes her a peace sign and sticks the french fry into her mouth. 

Samuel wraps an arm around Connie’s shoulder and ruffles his short hair as Daz laughs next to them. 

And then his eyes fall to you.

You, chatting with Hitch, of all people, at the bar.

You’re blushing about something, and he can’t help but admit to himself that you look cute when you do it. His heart does what it’s done all day when he looks at you and it starts pounding in his chest. He doesn’t get it. He really doesn’t get it. Who are you and how do you fit in with everyone here? You’re the only person in the entire restaurant that he doesn’t know, and yet the way you talk to everyone makes it seem like you’ve known them all just as long as he has.

Maybe even longer.

“You’re probably wondering who she is.” Armin smiles.

Eren’s cheeks turn slightly pink (again) and he quickly looks away from you as if he’s ashamed that he’d been caught.

And he is, sort of.

He is ashamed that he doesn’t remember someone who seems to matter so much.

“I wasn’t wondering…” Eren lies.

Instead of prodding, Armin just laughs and takes a sip of his beer. “Not everyone is like us,” Armin tells him, as he places his glass back on the table. 

“You mean reincarnated or- or whatever this is?”

“Yeah,” Armin replies, “exactly.”

“Why’s that?”

“No one knows.” Armin answers. “We all have our guesses, obviously, but it’ll be impossible to ever prove any of them right.”

“What do you think?” If anyone had it figured out (or at least mostly figured out) it would have been Armin.

Armin pauses for a moment. “I think… I think that this life gets given to people who deserve a second chance. People who didn’t get to live happily the first time around, so now they can try again.”

“What’s your proof of that?”

“No proof,” Armin laughs, “just a feeling.”

“Hm.”

“What?”

“Nothing.” Eren mumbles. “You’re just… different now.”

Armin throws his head back and laughs. “Hopefully not too different.”

“Nah. It’s a good thing. You were too much of a know-it-all before.” The corners of Eren’s lips tug into a small smile as he says it and it feels- it feels good to smile. He didn’t get to do much of that in his last few years alive. 

Armin scoffs before he laughs. “Rude Eren, rude.”

Eren’s smile grows wider as their eyes meet and he feels… alive.

For the first time since he woke up, he feels alive.

“Hey, Eren.”

The smile immediately wipes off his face as you appear next to him.

Coffee. Marker. Spaghetti and wine.

Eren rapidly blinks as he reaches up to rub his temples. “The fuck is-”

Your hands are in his. You pull them away from his head and Eren’s eyes flutter open to see you right in front of him. Just like how he’d woken up that morning.

He quickly looks over at Armin, wordlessly asking for his best friend to save him.

Instead, Armin smiles and says: “I’ll give you guys some alone time.”

“But Armin I-”

“What?” He asks with a short laugh. “Don’t tell me you don’t want to spend time with your girlfriend?”

Eren’s mouth slams shut. He feels like it’d be weird if he denied it because obviously the version of him that knew her would have been jumping at the opportunity. 

“Don’t stress about it, Eren,” Armin tells him as he places a hand on Eren’s shoulder. He suddenly gets a suspicion that his friend knows about the random thoughts that keep coming to mind. “Just take it slow and you’ll figure it out.” Armin pats his shoulder before walking away.

“R-Right…” Eren mumbles.

Ever so slowly, he looks back to you.

Your hands are still holding his as you stare up at him. Eyes wide, lips slightly parted and taking in shallow breaths. It looks like you’re studying him. Watching. Waiting for some sort of clue that’ll give you a big grand “ah-hah!” moment. 

And it makes his heart race. 

His fingers twitch with the desire to reach up and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as if- as if he knows what it would feel like to do that.

As if he’d done it before.

“Follow your instincts,” Mikasa had told him, “no matter which lifetime, you’ve always been pretty good at doing that.”

Eren swallows a lump in his throat and, for the first time all day, he lets the part of him that has been begging him to talk to you, to be next to you, to touch you-

He lets it take over.

He lets his instincts take over.

His fingers delicately ghost across your cheek, which starts to warm under his touch. He tucks a piece of hair behind your ear but his fingers linger there for a moment longer, admiring your soft skin and the way it sends a rush from his fingers right through to his heart.

Laughing as you walk through the park on campus. Taking pictures at your university graduation. Drunkenly stumbling down the street after a night out.

This time it’s not single sensations with no context of where they’re from. This time the thoughts- the memories, Eren realizes, are more vivid. More real. And it’s you, clearly you, front and center in all of them.

It’s you.

“I’m-” he speaks without even knowing he’s doing it. It’s his instincts again. The part of him that knows you. “I’ve been- um… distant.”

“Yeah..” you answer softly.

“I just- My head’s all- I-”

“Eren.” You cut him off and he immediately looks back at you.

The night sky. The stars. A swirl of green and blue.

You smile as you reach up to cup his hand, the hand that’s still against your cheek, in yours. “I love you.” You tell him.

The words tumble from Eren’s mouth before he even has a second to catch them: “I love you too.”

“Let's clear up some space, guys!” Niccolo calls as everyone begins to push the tables aside to make room for a dance floor.

You and Eren, snapped out of whatever moment you’d been having, jump apart.

Before the music even starts Sasha excitedly dances around as she pulls Niccolo along with her in anticipation. 

Yesterday, you would have done the same thing as Sasha and tugged your boyfriend to the dance floor without the option of saying ‘no’. But today- today things are different and you still don’t know why.

You’re worried that if you asked him to dance he’d…

The music starts and you can’t help glancing over at Eren only to realize he’s already looking at you.

Your cheeks flush a light pink in response and, for some reason, his do the same. There’s a moment of hesitation, a moment where you think he’s going to turn away and avoid you like he’d been doing all day.

And then…

Georgia~

Eren holds a hand out to you.

Wrap me up in all your- I want you…

You slowly take it.

In my arms- Oh, let me…

He pulls you closer.

…hold you

His other hand presses to your lower back.

I’ll never let you go again, like I did

Oh, I used to say~

And then you’re slowly moving, just the two of you, sucked into your own little world as you become completely oblivious to everyone around you.

He avoids your eyes but still finds a way to steal little glances here and there. He seems-

Embarrassed. 

Just like he did the day you accidentally ran a black marker over his new shirt.

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her- I found you

“Welcome back, stranger.” You smiled at Eren as he entered the coffee shop for the second time.

Georgia, pulled me in I asked to- love her

“Are you asking me on a date?” “Don’t laugh, you’ll hurt my ego.”

Once again You fell, I- caught you

You both jump as you walk side-by-side and your hands accidentally brush against each other. You look over at him at the same time he tries to steal a glance at you. And then you both burst out laughing.

“I would never fall in love again until I found her”

You kiss for the first time on a park bench.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

“I love you.”  “That’s… so cringe.”

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

You excitedly threw yourself into his arms as he placed his last moving box in your apartment.

I found you

The memories come back to Eren in vivid flashes as you move around the dance floor. It should be overwhelming- having two lives suddenly meshing together in his head but it’s- it’s not. It’s-

“Eren?” You ask, just like you’d been doing all day and never receiving an answer. “Are you okay?”

He slides a red velvet box into his bedside table before you burst into the room and ruin the surprise.

“Yeah,” Eren answers softly, “I’m-...” 

I would never fall in love again until I found her

“I’m great.” He smiles.

I said, “I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into”

His hand comes up to cup your cheek, gently stroking his thumb across your skin.

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

Your lips meet.

I found you…

You come to a slow stop on the dance floor as you kiss, the memories of his lives- both of them, settling in their entirety in Eren’s mind.

He might not have known you in his last lifetime, but he found you in this one.

And in that moment, to Eren, that was all that mattered.

Eren pulls away, smiling down at you as his thumb brushes across your cheek. He wonders what would happen if he did try to explain it to you. Sure, he might sound crazy, but he has a feeling that you’d believe him. That you’d understand. That you’d hear him out and be just as equally amazed as he is when you realize what an amazing opportunity he’s been given, they've all been given, to live for the second time.

So maybe he’ll tell you one day.

Maybe they all will.

Eren settles on the promise to himself. The promise that one day he’d be honest. For now though, he just wanted to enjoy the life he’d been given. 

And the fact that because of it, he found you.

********

“It looks great, Niccolo,” Eren tells his friend with a wide grin as he firmly shakes his hand. “Bet you’ll have the most popular restaurant on the whole block.”

“My only competition is a bakery that’s closed every day but Sundays,” Niccolo replies.

“See? You’re already killing it!”

Niccolo laughs and shakes his head. “Glad you could make it, Eren.” He says, patting Eren’s shoulder as he passes him a knowing glance. “And… we’re glad to have you back.”

You aren’t entirely sure what Niccolo means by it, but you figured that today was weird enough that you aren’t going to question it.

“Nicoooooooooo…” Sasha drunkenly drawls as she leans against the door of the restaurant. “There’s no more wineeeee…”

“Oh god.” Niccolo sighs.

You snicker as he turns around and catches his shit-faced fiancé before she ends up face-first against the pavement.

“Ready to go?” Eren asks, wrapping his arm around your shoulders before he presses his lips to the top of your head.

“Yep!”

You and Eren were one of the last few to leave. Everyone else had gotten way too drunk to stay any longer, but Eren hadn’t wanted to go home. He was having too much fun dancing, laughing, and bouncing around the room like a complete social butterfly.

“You had a lot of energy tonight.” You joke as the two of you walk down the street. 

Eren laughs. “I was excited.”

“Yeah, I could tell. I think you talked to everyone there, even Annie.”

He scoffs. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You normally try to avoid her after that time she threw you over her shoulder and kicked your ass.”

“No, no, no you’re remembering that wrong.”

“I am not!”

“Totally are. I kicked her ass, remember?”

“Okay,” you snicker, “just keep telling yourself that.” 

It doesn’t take you long to reach the train station. Eren’s arm is still around your shoulder as you take a seat on one of the benches. The sign above the station indicates that your train should be there in five minutes, but you don’t really care how long it takes.

With a sigh, you lean against Eren’s chest and he secures his arm around you, rubbing your shoulder as he does it.

“Cold?” He asks.

“Nah.” You reply. 

He pulls off his jacket and places it around you anyway.

“Now you’re gonna be cold, dumbass.” You mumble, tightening his jacket around you nonetheless.

Eren scoffs. “I’m too sexy to get cold.”

“So you’re saying I’m not sexy?”

“Eh.” He shrugs. “You’re alright.”

You playfully slap his chest but he grabs your hand before you can pull it away. “Hey.” He says seriously as he curls his fingers around yours.

“What?”

“I’m sorry.” He kisses the tips of your fingers. “For… For being weird earlier.” He kisses you again.

“...It’s okay.” You mumble.

“No, it’s not. I was being distant for no reason and it was probably really shitty for you.”

You curl your fingers around his and squeeze his hand as you look down into your lap. “It-… yeah it kinda sucked.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Eren reassures you.

“Then… what happened?”

He opens his mouth to say something, but just as quickly closes it again. “It’s-... It’s not something that's easy to talk about.”

He thinks about the promise he made to himself earlier. The promise to tell you one day. To tell you the entire story, not leaving out a single detail, starting the moment he woke up from a weird dream in Shiganshina and ending when Mikasa’s blade met his neck.

He needs time though.

Time to think about how to say it. To tell it. To put it in a way that he can convey how wrong he was in his last life and how much better he wants to be in this one.

Time.

One of the two major things he was missing in his first life.

Time and…

“It’s okay, Eren.” Your words cut through his thoughts. “Just tell me when you’re ready.”

The way you look at him, with so much trust in your eyes, makes Eren smile.

So he promises it to himself again. He promises that he’ll tell you, one day, after a little bit of time.

Eren reaches over to cup your cheek in his hands and pull you in for a kiss.

You sigh against his lips as your eyes slide closed and the comforting familiarity of his kiss makes everything in the world seem right.

It makes everything seem perfect, once again.

And you don’t want to change a single thing-

Crisp hospital sheets. The afternoon light against his bandaged face. Brightly coloured pills in a paper cup.

You freeze as Eren pulls away from the kiss.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

“I snuck you an extra apple, don’t tell anyone or they’ll accuse me of picking favourites.”

“Hey,” he brushes his fingers across your forehead.

“Why would I skip out on the festival, it sounds like fun!”

“What’s going on?”

Fire. Rubble. Screaming.

He calls your name.

A grip. A squeeze. A pop.

“Can you hear me?”

The deafening sound of complete silence. Followed by the terrifying sight of pitch black.

Your eyes flutter open. 

You don’t recognize where you are. You don’t recognize the sounds, or the smells, or the loud voice that comes from nowhere saying: “next train arriving, please stand behind the yellow line”.

But you do recognize something.

Someone.

And the sight of him, freshly shaved, hair cut and styled, free of bandages with no crutches to make up for a missing leg- it makes your heart flutter, just like it always did in that hospital room.

You smile, because what other reaction could you possibly have when you’re looking at the man you were forbidden to love, but loved so deeply despite it. 

You say the only thing that makes sense, given the miracle before you:

“Are we in heaven, Mr. Kruger?”

Suddenly Eren knows exactly who you are.

Suddenly, he remembers why he’d tried so hard to forget.

“She’s distracting you, Eren,” Zeke said, his baseball on the bench between them. “She’s not,” was Eren’s only reply.

But now Eren knew he could never forget again. Not the longing. Not the guilt. Not the feeling of bones breaking, the smell of fresh blood, or the bursting of flesh between his fingers.

“Then kill her,” Zeke said casually like the words didn’t mean a single thing.

No. Eren would never forget again.

He’d never forget how it felt when he, the attack titan, crushed you in his hands and discarded your lifeless body against the battered streets of Liberio...

[THE END]

[pisstintedglasses]

Diary of a Horny Man

Landlord!Park Jongseong-Jay x Tenant!Reader

warnings: BDSM, unsafe sex (don't copy them), dacryphilia, begging, brat, POV, rough sex, daddy dom!Jay, loud af, dubcon, cnc

Chapter 4 - It's Missing!

After Jay's little stumble with you, he'd felt some invisible strings pull him back to his room at the building. He has a place of his own, but he still chose to stay here to assist his tenants due to them already being aged and ergo; more vulnerable.

His room was satiated next to the room of Old George and Evelyn Ball. They were like his second set of parents after he moved here years ago. So when he finally owned the place, he made sure to take over the room next to theirs. 

Still, even with his profound affection towards the old couple, he still wanted to keep some of his life private. Hence why he kept the BDSM room as far away from theirs as possible. He's had it there since the first few months he's moved in. Using it as his scapegoat with his girlfriend (at the time) from all the old people that surrounded him all day. 

In the first few months he'd move in, he was happy he's gotten his own place, where he could fuck his girlfriend anywhere and anytime she asked for it. But there came a problem. He couldn't get hard at all, since his neighbors' faces would flash in his mind at the worst possible moments.

He wanted a place that made him forget about all the wrinkly, old grannies that babied him throughout the day, so that when he finally had some time alone with his girl, he won't have trouble getting hard. 

So, like any supportive girlfriend, she helped him transform his extra storage room in what it was now. They both loved the idea of it. After they tried out bondage for the first time, they experimented with a bunch of other sex-related shit.

And each time they did, he wrote about it in his sex journal. One he was sure he had tucked away in the depths that is under his bed. He was in a giddy mood and wanted to reminisce his spicy past, so he bent down and rummaged his hand beneath the bed. He waited for the contact of the leather with his fingertips, but it never came. All he felt was the soft fur of Evelyn's cat. He always hid there for some reason.

Baffled, he stood up and searched his bookshelf. Perhaps he'd read it one night and propped it there with all his other books, but no. It wasn't there. 

"Where the hell could I have left it." He pondered before a thought sprung to mind. Had he left in in the other room?

Discomfort and worry settled in his gut at the thought of you finding it, so in a state of panic, he attempted to look for the key to the other door. The one that wasn't in your room. After all, he couldn't just barge in to your flat and say, "Oh there's a hidden room full of sex toys next to your bedroom and I accidentally left my diary there, could I fetch it real quick?".

But, as if God was playing a punishment on him too, they key was nowhere to be found. He needed to find that journal immediately.

That very journal that was being gone through by you, in your bed, under the covers with a cute little nightlight illuminating the contents of the narrative that did NOT match its energy at all.

•••••○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○•••••

December 11

Tonight was even wilder than yesterday. She practically begged me to use her as a cock sleeve this time. Just let me use her mouth however I pleased. I was against the idea at first, knowing I had the tendency to lose control, but she insisted.

So, as per usual, we got right into it. At first, I acted like a virgin getting his first blowjob, unsure where to put my hands as I let her do as she pleased and just admired. The way her red lipstick marked red rings along my cock looked so hypnotic.

She was on her knees again, lips around my cock like she belonged there—but something was different tonight.

Not in how good it felt—her mouth was always heaven, warm and wet and sinful—but in the way she looked up at me. Less playful. More annoyed.

Her pace was perfect, her lipstick a mess of red rings up and down my shaft. But then she pulled off with a loud pop, wiping spit from her chin with the back of her hand. "Jay."

I blinked, still half-dazed. "Yeah?"

"You're just gonna sit there?" Her tone was sharp. Not angry, but close. Challenging. "Let me suck you off like it's a favor, and not... what I need?"

"I thought you liked being in control," I muttered, breath still catching from her last swirl of tongue.

She narrowed her eyes. "Oh, I do. But that's not what I asked for tonight."

Before I could respond, she crawled up onto the bed, straddling my lap with a glare that dared me to move. "I told you. I wanted to be used."

I exhaled slowly, jaw tightening. "You know what happens when I lose control."

"I'm counting on it." She grabbed my wrist and guided my hand to her throat, where I could feel her pulse—fast, hot, excited. "You think I didn't notice how bad you wanted to ruin me last time? You held back."

My fingers twitched.

Her lips curled, wicked. "Stop treating me like I'll break, Jay. I want you rough. I want you to pin me down, fuck my mouth until I can't speak, hold my throat like you own me."

She leaned in until her breath hit my ear, soft and threatening all at once. "Use me."

Chuckling, I reach a hand behind her head and bunching her hair up into a messy ponytail. "I just don't want to hurt you, princess." Her head drew closer to my cock as she gave it a long, seductive lick. From the balls, the n the underside, all the way to the tip, which she popped in her mouth and sucked it like a pacifier.

Moans elicited from the back of my throat. Her headgame was always heavenly. "So pretty.." I was always vocal with praises. Whether it be during sex or just while we did nothing. And everytime, she loved it. Playfully rolling her eyes before she sunk down and took me all the way in her throat.

Since she saw no initiative from me, she took matters into her own hands. She took the handcuffs we recently bought and tied me to the bed. "Oh? I thought you wanted me to use you. Change of mind?" 

"Oh we'll get there, baby." She gave my cheeks a few gentle pats and went back to work on my dick. After maybe 15 minutes, I was already so close, the way her throat constricted around me made me last shorter than usual. But she pulled off me and blocked my tip with her thumb, earning a troubled whine from me.

"Oh no, sweetie. You aren't getting your reward immediately. You gotta earn it first." I didn't know what gimmick she had up her sleeve, or tucked between her tits, but the smirk she plastered on her face meant nothing but trouble. 

And my suspicions were right. She'd edged me for so long, I felt myself going crazy. Trying to chase the sweet release that never came. She'd literally block the path to my euphoria. 

"Baby take off these fucking cuffs." I grunted. All I wanted right now was to force her to take me down her throat as I paint it with my cum. Maybe even my piss. Ugh such nasty thoughts. See how crazy she drove me?

Normally, piss would be out of the question. But at the moment, all I wanted was for her to drink me up.

And it seems like this was her plan all along. To drive me insane enough, lose control and let lust take over. She waited for a few beats before she shook her head no and edged me more. When she deemed me as feral enough, she finally undid the cuffs. My wrist were bruised from resisting around them too much, but that was the least of my worries.

As soon as those lousy scraps of metal were discarded, I pounced onto her, my hands traveled all over her body. And all she did was giggle. "I guess your hands missed me."

I stared at her for a bit and chuckled. "Lay your head on the edge of the bed." Excitedly, she pressed a kiss on the top of my nose before she did as told. She was virtually beaming with eagerness as she saw me walk over and point the tip of my dick to her.

Then, without warning, I shoved it in and immediately started thrusting. The sinful sounds of her choking filled my bedroom. A part of me felt bad, but my dick's brain kept yelling; "She fucking wanted this."

And it was evident. Your thighs rubbed against each other. Thankfully, Jay wasn't too keen on getting revenge on you, as he slid a hand to your core and toyed with it, noticing how slick you got from sucking him off alone.

"Hmm.. acting like a hardcore mommy-dom mistress when all you wanted was for me to treat you like a goddamn fleshlight. You'd make an amazing actor, baby. Like in roleplay. We should definitely try that sometimes." I felt her pussy clench. 

"What do you think we shoud try?" thrust. "Maybe we could do ddlg.." thrust. "Or puppy dog and her owner..." thrust. "Maybe stepsiblings?". At each word, her pussy throbbed. "I bet you're into just about anything, aren't you?"

She tried nodding, letting out a few squeaks of agreement, but was futile when my dick was literally abusing her larynx. "Mhm? Yeah, you like that?"

•••••○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○•••••

Clothes were gone in seconds. I didn't undress her gently—I yanked her panties down, tore open the last button of her shirt. She gasped when the cold air hit her skin, and again when I didn't bother with foreplay.

She was already soaked—of course she was. She'd been edging me for almost an hour, getting off on the frustration building under my skin. And now she was going to pay for it.

I grabbed her thighs and pushed them apart with force, settling between them with my cock hard and aching. I lined myself up and didn't wait for a cue. I shoved in—deep, fast.

She choked on a scream.

"Fuck—Jay—"

"Too much?" I hissed, though I didn't slow down.

"No," she moaned, eyes rolling. "Not enough."

I grunted, thrusting hard enough to make the bed creak beneath us. Every movement was raw, uncontrolled. Animalistic. Her hands fisted in the sheets, gasping as I fucked her like I wanted to break something.

"You wanted me like this?" I growled. "Wanted to drive me insane until I stopped being gentle?"

"Yes—yes, I wanted you wild—"

I grabbed her chin, forcing her to look up at me.

"Then take it," I snarled. "Take all of it."

She moaned louder when I pressed a hand to her throat—not choking, just holding her there, reminding her who was in charge now.

"You're mine," I told her. "You ask to be used, and you beg for more. Say it."

She trembled beneath me, wrecked and euphoric.

"I'm yours," she gasped. "Your cock sleeve, your toy, whatever you need—just don't stop—"

I kissed her hard enough to bruise, hips slamming into hers as her body seized under mine, every muscle straining. 

•••••○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○•••••

You had to close the book in order to breathe. This part was intense, and it was just the second day of many. So you swallowed your bewilderness and went right back to reading, You still had 4 hours before the potluck started anyway. 

Multiple chapters later, you found out they really did venture in roleplay. Not only that, but they also began to buy toys and used them on each other. You were so invested in the vivid recollections he wrote in honor of his late-night venture with his girl. He must have really loved her. But why was she out of the picture now? 

Did they break up? Were the details of their breakup also written here? You were more than eager to know. So you skimmed through day after day, and then you found something. Not the reason of their break, but the reason of why they made the hidden room, instead.

•••••○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○•••••

January 3

We were back at it—different day, same tension. She was curled up next to me, wearing one of my shirts and nothing else, trailing her fingers down my stomach with that look she always gave me right before things got unholy.

Her lips ghosted over mine, whispering, "Want you inside me. Now."

And I did.

God, I wanted to. My hands were already exploring her, my mouth at her neck, hips rolling instinctively—but below the belt?

Nothing.

Not even a twitch.

She noticed immediately. Pulled back slightly, raising an eyebrow. "You okay?"

I let out a breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yeah, I just... give me a sec."

She didn't move away, didn't laugh or tease. Just watched. Concerned, but chill. "What's wrong?"

I groaned and laid back against the pillow. "You're gonna think I'm insane."

"Baby," she said softly, brushing her fingers through my hair. "You could tell me you accidentally killed a plant and I'd still suck you off. Try me."

I stared at the ceiling for a long beat. Then said it.

"I can't stop picturing the old ladies from the unit across the hall."

There was a pause.

"...What?"

"Like mid-thrust in my brain, and boom—Mrs. Ball and her damn floral nightgown. Asking me if I've brought back her Tupperware."

Her lips twitched.

I groaned again. "I'm cursed. I'm being haunted by the horny ghosts of the HOA."

That was it—she lost it, rolling off me and laughing so hard she snorted.

"Oh my God, Jay—what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I don't know!" I laughed, covering my face. "I was just trying to focus and then suddenly it was like... I don't even know what triggered it! Maybe the way the hallway smelled earlier? Or her damn cat staring at me."

She was still giggling as she crawled back over, straddling me again. "So you're telling me... I'm here, dripping wet, begging for you... and all you can see is three old ladies playing bridge and gossiping about their arthritis?"

"Yes!" I groaned, defeated.

She pressed a kiss to my forehead. "You're lucky you're cute."

"Don't leave me like this," I mumbled.

"Oh, don't worry." Her voice dropped a little, sultry again. "We're gonna exorcise those old hags real quick."

Her hand slid lower, fingers brushing teasingly against my thigh. "I'll make you forget everything but me."

And she did just that. But the morning after this incident, we ultimately decided to renovate the storage room into a makeshift sex room, since it was a room farthest away from the door that faced the other ladies' rooms, I'd be far away from them as I could be.

•••••○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○●●●●●○○○○○•••••

You giggled at the chapter. So that's why this was built? 

You got answers, but not to the question that chipped away at your brain most. Yet, you thought it'd sufice for now. Especially since you noticed the time, the potluck was only an hour away! Damn, did I really just spend 4 hours reading Jay's sex book..?

Shaking your midlife crisis away, you bolted out of bed and went to reheat the pasta you rushed making earlier. Once the clock struck 9:20, you headed down to the lobby. Just at the 2nd floor's stairway, you could already hear the chatter of the old ladies. They were always gossiping away while their husbands drunk root beer in silence. 

You scanned the crowd looking for a fresh, young face amongst the sea of white hair, and there you found him. With his brows furrowed, seemingly deep in thought. He looked a bit disheveled. What the hell? He was just a smiley beam of sunshine but now his fair was messy, and his sweater was a bit... dusty? 

Almost as if.. he was just desperately looking for something he couldn't find? As if something was missing. And you happened to know exactly what that something was. You were currently the one who possessed it. 

Your eyes met his and he gave you another one of those glares of his. Well, the angsty Jay is back. Maybe he only looked soft this morning 'cause you made him laugh.

You descended the stairs and set the dish down, letting a few of the seniors taste it and gain a ring of praises. After being complemented by everyone else, you walked up to Jay in hope of a conversation that didn't entail you being gushed over. 

"Hey, you okay?" you asked with much skepticism, to which he replied, "Why the hell wouldn't I be?" 

"Come on JJ. We're the only young-uns here. If there's anyone you could talk to about being tired, it's me." You could clearly see him debate with his inner monologue about this before he relented. He didn't lie in his claims in the journal; he is easily swayed. 

His lips formed a pout as he thought out how to open up without admitting he'd lost something as trivial as a diary. A sex diary, no less. He had no doubt you'd laugh in his face if he were to openly confess it. But little did he know, you were already halfway done with his little diary.

"Ugh, I.. I had this book and I think I misplaced it. Now I think it's missing. I spent all afternoon looking for it but I didn't have any luck."

// to be continued //

The entire series > Clique here

CHAPTER 5 - I KNOW WHERE IT IS

[vagabond-umlaut]

meet you where the sky meets the earth

to love is to listen to your heart, not your brain. to dream whilst in love, is to make your brain listen to your heart.

▸ gojo satoru x fem!reader; former teacher x former student [gojo is six yrs older than reader]; bittersweet fluff; you're so in love w satoru, it shd hurt- but it doesn't because you've grown numb to the ache; one-sided feelings [are they really?]; few mentions of food; gojo calls you 'cookie'; this is way too tender even for me, istg; 1.5k wc

▸ belongs to the series 'you make my heart flutter and fibrillate' but can be read as a stand-alone fic if you wanna! 😊

▸ the header is from pinterest, the dividers are by @benkeibear, the characters used here aren't mine. pls don't plagiarise, translate or repost this. hope y'all enjoy reading this ❤️❤️

the first time you think of marrying gojo, you're only twenty years old.

hardly the age to be dreaming of wedding bells at, right?

yeah, right. that's very, very right— still, your heart is your heart, just how your brain is your brain, the former easily swaying the latter by a few skipped beats— and you find your cheeks growing warm, laughs stumbling past your lips as you place the box of cornflakes into your shopping cart.

gojo sputters from beside you, eyes comically wide behind his shades as they dart from you to the elderly woman before.

you take a second to compose yourself before answering the ask that created this mess in the first place, a polite smile lining your face, "oh, no– not at all, ma'am! we're not married. i'm just an old friend helping him with the groceries, haha."

"oh," that's the only thing the woman says in reaction, kind smile now a tiny frown before it reappears. and she apologises, "i'm sorry, dears. just thought you two to be newlyweds from how giddy and loving you seemed to each other... time i went for an eye check-up, yes?"

"hey, please don't be sorry..." you start to say, but before you can get any further, the woman has already walked away with her shoppping basket.

you fall silent.

the same way the man next to you too has grown quiet, an awkward silence taking up the foot between you both. until you break it with a strained chuckle.

"we were acting giddy and loving to each other, eh?"

"were we?" comes the contemplative question to your comment. you look up to find gojo looking at you, the blue of his eyes weirdly bright in the dim lights of the supermarket as he repeats, "were we, cookie?"

yes. no. you don't really know—

yes, 'cause you know you love him.

not since forever, no, but close enough to it: your once-fascination for the supposed mortal deity of the jujutsu world, the mitochondrion on which the cellular structure of the society banks to survive; that grew into something made of wonder, respect and fondness, as you slowly came to know not only the icon but also the man behind it; that grew into something so profound, nestling deep within your existence– so much so that you feel the earth shifting on its axis everytime he calls you or grins at you or just looks in your direction—

no, 'cause you know you aren't loved back.

not the way you wish to be... not that you blame gojo for that, though!

you know he is way too busy to be thinking of such topics– what with being the strongest sorcerer ever, the head of the one-man gojo clan, the teacher to the first-years at tokyo high, the legal guardian– but in fact, the father figure to the two kids, 'gumi and 'miki– or maybe, just maybe, he is busy, alright, but not too busy— gojo simply doesn't see you that way; he sees you to be nothing but his former student— one he knows he can rely on to help with his children, or the groceries, or a variety of other menial daily tasks he can just hire help for—

you don't know.

yeah... you really, really don't know– and by now, you think you don't even want to know anymore. it's easy, it's safe, it's nice to remain not knowing. the word 'yes' comes with too many dreams– the word 'no' serves the perfect haven to nightmares.

the three words "i don't know" bear no such burden on their back– an untroubled answer you decide to offer, decide to escape using for the time being— until a slight knock on the head interrupts you, followed by an entertained set of chortles.

you peer up to find gojo beaming down at you, his eyes crinkled and cheeks dimpled. something twists in the middle of your chest, but it isn't painful; it's grounding. pleasant, even.

"it's too easy to get you worried, y'know? you're unbelievably easy to manipulate, heh."

"oh, am i now?" you retort, eyes narrowing into a cross glare– only to be betrayed by the fond smile grazing your lips not even a beat later. the man hums, grin simmering down to a knowing smile.

"mmhm," he says with that musical sway to his tone that never fails to make your fingers tingle, "you should have seen your face when i asked you the question– so pale and stiff– almost as if i was asking you to leave then and there, hearing that granny's comments—"

"you would have asked me to, if they were true– wouldn't you?"

gojo's smile vanishes in the blink of an eye. and you think the hand he has stretched out to the shelves of biscuits might fall too– but it does not, and you see him take a packet of your favourite bourbon biscuits followed by a packet of the digestives you've been forcing him to eat, and place them into the cart.

he checks the shopping list in your hand before he looks back at you.

before he smiles back at you: so soft, so solemn, so un-satoru— you instantly regret interrupting him with such a question.

but you do know how it is, don't you? what with a thudding heart and a thinking brain...

the handle of the cart digs deep indents into your palm as you press the weight of your worries into the cool metal and lean towards your companion on this grocery run, the same way a moth flies towards a flame, towards its doom–

"don't you ever dream of falling in love, gojo-san?" you let your voice drop to a murmur, audible only to you and the object of your desires, the subject of your worries, "do you not dream of a happily ever after with your 'one'– do you, gojo-san?"

"no," the response to your words comes in the very same instant. the man's shades slip a touch down the bridge of his nose as he pins his sharp gaze on you– though it can do nothing to hide the mild tremor in his grin from you when he says, "and i don't plan on dreaming ever. dreaming is only for fools with too much time to spare– do i look like a fool with too much time to spare, cookie?"

no. not at all. you don't. you look the farthest from it, in fact— is what you know you should say, and just drop the matter. for now. forever—

but you don't... just don't.

retorting instead, still a murmur but with the faint lick of a fire now, "and what do you suggest should be done to those fools, gojo-san? punished severely for their grievous crime of dreaming, hm?"

"oh, don't be too harsh," he tuts with a breezy chuckle, "what people do is honestly their business; one i've got no interest in interfering in— but..." his grin twists into something wry, a change you find tough to tear your gaze away from, "i don't think i would give such folks the time of my day– it's simply not worth it to talk with those whose feet are not on the solid ground, floating around meaninglessly in air–"

"why are you talking with me then?"

interrupted, gojo blinks. once, and twice, then thrice.

you watch your face crumple in the dark tint of his shades, withering and cracking in the dull light and stale air of this stupid supermarket; but definitely not as stupid as you:

messing things up when they're perfectly fine and alright, only 'cause you do not, rather cannot, keep your mouth shut, no matter what– all your inhibitions let gone of as your heart gains control over your brain and your stupid damned mouth—

you feel a tiny knock on your forehead, the second time this evening, followed by strands of hair being gently brushed away; too careful for your breath to not get stuck in your chest. you peer up at the man in front, teeth lightly gnawing the inside of your lower lip.

gojo's features shift into something between fond and worried– you just hope you aren't misreading him right now– the man tucks those strands of hair behind the shell of your ear.

his fingers still right above your jaw, touching yet not really touching, features finally, finally, settling into a smile– "maybe because i enjoy talking with you, cookie, no matter how foolish you are."

some people say, marriage is a holy act, a sacred institution, in and of itself— connecting hearts, binding souls– cementing the promises of staying together forever... whilst few see marriage to be meaningless— paltry affair of papers and signatures and people, none bearing any significance, 'cause nothing can, not when it comes to the matters of the hearts, neither in proving nor in disproving them–

no matter what people think, you think you will be okay, irrespective of whether you marry gojo or not, irrespective of whether gojo loves you or not– provided– and this is a weird, still important 'provided'—

you and he end up shopping together in the supermarket, feeling and seeming so happy and comfortable with each other— others mistake you for a pair of newlyweds, blissfully deep in love.

tysm to my dearest andy [@andysdrafts], mimi [@avatarofstars] & dilay [@roseqzpd] for constantly motivating me while i was writing this. ilysm my darlings 😘😘😘

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