#what a perfect day for me to post on amirite

[ace-geographer]

Here's a very Kit-centric batch of text post memes for you all in honor of Ruby's birthday!

Part 14/?

[jovieinramshackle]

Oh my god 2025 ummm what the fuck amirite (it's not even for me yet it's over 10pm)

Okay so um hi hey hello. What a year huh (at least for me). So wild I transed my whole gender like damn the she/her to he/him pipeline was so real but ANYWAYS

I already said quite a bit during Christmas here but I would be lying if I said I didn't have a million more things to say. Even more to some certain mutuals/friends that have really been nothing but kind to me. Some old ones, some recent ones, I can't list everyone but I genuinely just appreciate any amount of support and love, big or small.

I've been thinking about whether I should directly say a few things to some mutuals/friends for a while (and I already have to some, but I don't mind repeating myself lol), but I think New Year's is the perfect chance to do so.

Apologies for the tagging in advance SUDISAHFIUHISDE

-

@crystallizsch I have already expressed to you how much I appreciate and grateful I am to you for encouraging me to make this blog, way before we had ever even interacted. I love you a lot buddy, you're absolutely the best<3

@oya-oya-okay OYAAA OYA OYAAA!!! I love you sm my darling friend, your kind words and support have genuinely been some of the biggest reasons I pushed through this year. I know the latter part of this year has been really hard for you, but I want you to know you have my support for whatever you need <3

@viperbunnies YOU HAVE MADE ME SOBBED SM ESPECIALLY WITH YOUR GIFTS. I sometimes go back to see your art of my persona or my oc just to make myself feel a little better. Ty for making me feel part of this amazing community (PS. I still get shroompocalypse war flashbacks/j) <3

@fell-e We have mostly chatted on Discord recently and legit you're one of the funniest and nicest people I've had the pleasure of talking to! I can't wait to interact more in 2025, you're such a nice person to be around <3

@lficanthaveloveiwantpower Hi Nah! We don't interact really one-on-one, but the kind words you've given me have always made me smile. You're one of the biggest reasons I got comfortable with openly self-shipping and sharing my thoughts about my f/os. And don't even let me mention how much joy your art has given me, you're seriously one of the best artists I've had the pleasure of being mutuals with <3

@theolivetree123 I'm a sucker for your ocs I won't even lie they're always so creative and fun! Still remember the time you asked to be mutuals and I just DIE/pos. It really was a pleasant surprise and I look forward to every post you make, whether it's art or just talking about your ocs and dynamics! You're extremely creative you genuinely inspire me a lot <3

@sunnysidesevenup I KNNNNOOOOWWWW we became moots pretty recently but like. You're so cool dude wtf. Legit freaked out when YOU followed ME first. I got cold feet about following you back for a while ahaha.....but I'm so happy I did you're such a fun dude I love your creations so much too (low-key biased towards Tilly...I love him sm and for what...)

@jadelover69 MIMI YOU ARE SO FUN, JUST SOO FUN TO INTERACT WITH YOUR WHOLE ENERGY IS SOOO SDUBHDSJNAGISBSJDH/POS your reblogs always make me giggle, even if it's just you straight up dying <3 Tysm for showing so much love for my creations, it means the absolute world

@summerspook You madman. I can't believe we've been friends for almost 2 years online. You have helped me through so much stuff, sometimes I even felt guilty about it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being one of my bestest friends, talking to you is one of the main things I look forward to every day, I can't express how much appreciate you and our friendship <3

-

OKAY THIS IS ALL FOR NOW there are more of you but I can't articulate my thoughts and feelings the best, but either way I love and appreciate all of you with all my heart.

New Year's has slowly lost its meaning for me (I'm neutral about it) but at least I get to use it to show my application to the people who have been with me this year, mutual or not tbh <3

Also if you wanna say something back but not publically, dms are open for mutuals <3

[laylawatermelon]

I'm thinking about it and I wonder if the reason Buddie is so compelling (aside from the parallels) is the fact that they're one of the few couples on the show that has storylines getting together within the show.

Madney is a popular one (what the hell they all are🤷🏾‍♀️), but that developed over the seasons giving fans an (adorable) anchor to rest on.

So did Buddie.

For Bathena, it was a speed run but it made so much sense. They were both older and had established lives before meeting each other and when they decided they were it for each other they were it. (I'm gonna make myself cry 😭)

And HenRen, oh my beautiful henren, their relationship was told backwards and forwards if that makes sense.

They were already established as a complete family who worked together. The storyline who shall not be named was wild and I don't even wanna say it asked commitment to each other after “challenges “ (made of ones volition but i digress) is one that they're dedicated to.

that's so ironic

(I'm low-key heated but I'll talk about that in another post)

But as I was saying about the Buddie of it all, it logistically and thematically it makes sense.

Two friends whose bond grows over time eventually start to see each other in a new light as they go through life and death together.

Sounds great right? A perfect love story?

BAM, they're men!

Ooooh how about bromance and call or a day.

Yes we know they're coparents but *whispers* we may have accidentally given ammo to the lughtuhbuh squad

Ignore me i be joking to much 😔🤣

But truly once you remove gender and focus only on the emotional beats they share, they mirror any and all romantic paintings from this show and various others. (I'm looking at the rookie fans who i now my head in mourning with you through this tough time rn *I've not seen a minute of the show*)

It's not a crime to see it as romantic when evidently it's written as one.

I've seen many fan edits paralleling their emotional hits (hell the cell block gunshot episode and bathena's final arc about the missing girl is a recycled mini plot/scene *very effective*)

But honestly if you look at it as a love story it will become apparent.

And as the show goes on the more they begin to parallel and blur into something of a blatant pairing.

Now less objective more emotional personal, as a panromantic (taking love is love to a next level amirite?) I literally don't see the problem with a lot of same sex ships and this is a really great example.

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck it's a fuckin duck to me. (Excuse my French teehee🤗 just had to get the point across)

But forreal though.... Who was messing with my ship?! We gotta talk!

Open up Fox! I gotta talk to you! 🤗🗣️🔊🔊📢

I've had them less than a few months but Imma protect them until the day i die! (Unless of course morals and all that)

But I hope you like this, this was unplanned.

[mythicamagic]

Do you think it’s too late to get into lads as a new player? I keep seeing your posts and am considering whether to try the game

Short answer: Nah I think its a good time tbf- the game isn't even a year old yet and we haven't had card reruns. Fans speculate we'll get them in January so its the perfect time to try the game out and see if a LI catches your eye enough for you to pull them on their anniversary reruns.

Some advice about the game for a new player/long answer: The game has a Normal route, with its own storyline where you meet the love interests platonically and interact with them. (Though recently the devs are making the Normal route split off into individual LI routes later on down the line)

With the love interests- you can only see their romantic development with MC through their 4 and 5 star cards (that you pull for) and view their backstory through their Myth pair cards, which is what banner is running right now for Sylus. I think he has a few days left on banner. If you don't manage to get them and you like him, don't stress - all his card footage/memories are on Youtube, so don't feel the need to swipe.

The game isn't 'too' punishing if you want some cards because you're able to buy a lot of the standard 5 star cards through the shop (with in game currency) so I haven't felt too 'deprived' of content or anything. The Limited cards are the more difficult cards to get. Mainly, if you start playing, just move through the Normal route at your own pace and see if you like a LI to focus on. If you like more than one LI and want to build him for battle/pull him then its a trickier situation because your resources will be spread more thin haha. (Yes there's combat in this game)

Being real- the game is hard to play as an F2P so I advise getting the monthly subscription thing for £5 as you would a Welkin in Genshin. Its cheaper than topping up and you won't feel the pressure of spending large amounts of money whenever a banner starts because you'll earn pull currency daily overtime that adds up. It just involves a lot of saving. I started playing in June and I think I've spent £70 this year on LADS, which for a gacha game isn't bad (and the cards have given me hours of entertainment), but just know what you're getting into.

Another thing is that after getting all the cards you want, and you've built your fav guy up for battle- the game becomes a bit empty of things to do aside from dailies. Luckily events run quite often, but you do hit a wall in terms of content to consume. (Dats what fanfic is for tho amirite)

TDLR: I think starting the game now is perfectly fine and you're in a good position to save up game currency for future rerun banners, but just be aware of how predatory Gacha games can be. The game can be a lot of fun and Sylus has defo become one of my favourite LIs in otome, but yeah- just be cautious in terms of spending. If you want to view a love interests cards after getting context for them in game and don't want to wait to pull for cards, YouTube is your friend. I do think what's free in the game is worth it to check out (Sylus' chapters in the Normal route were so gooood)

[toinfinitywinning]

this is get to know you time. the cringy name game at every camp in the world you do with toilet paper. enough.

Conversations and thoughts resembling the same level of random and incongruence of my Apple Music library. like Josh Groban is to Eminem: Mercy Me. a lot about everything that’s not a hashtag bc it just needs more attention.

Let the first (post) be first:

Hi. I’ve never done this before (like a seriously grown up blog on purpose. Just when just followed sad somewhat desperate poetry with a random live-laugh-love meme in there somewhere.) and Pitch Perfect.

BUT.

For 2 years I’ve had Long-Haul COVID. It’s a different kind of lonely

Thanks so much, amirite? —Gen-Z apologies if I didn’t use that jumbled acronym-word correctly.

It’s hard to keep up.

See? What am I talking about now and how did I get there…

Due to a very common symptom of LHC…

Again—hard to keep up. It’s there. Tho

And I have a lot of quirk so it’s possible I think you’ll “get” but are just nice not to tell me

BUT.

It’s already gone. Train left the Station yesterday.

Slipped on a penny.

Not Good. not even funny.

Teens with the gorgeous graffiti have to Go elsewhere. I’ve always been jealous of that kind talent.

Whole lot better than something else shiny thrown on the track and it’s derailed. There’s at least some innocence in a paint can.

WOW.

I have major attention and Brain Fog hurdles to conquer or shortly bypass. You might not be able to tell b/c of how My writing jumps around so infrequently.

Not true but still easier.

Mostly innocent and playful.

Sadly the attention part is this many years young.

Writing comes naturally. As it always has, strangely...

And why is healing so exhausting? Writing is therapeutic but My body says—can you not?

i know im not the only one asking that!

As if I have time for that too.

find a community of people suffering just as similarly and gain strength, tips and tricks.

Just, speak-screen edit my writing for me. Maybe a clarification fact-✔.

Just not wherever Tr*mp gets his.

Could be Truth Social. Monthly fee tho will cost you your Red Hat.

MYGAbad

Speaking I struggle with processing w/e skills I must have held onto.

BUT.

Since 2 years is quite. some. time.—I’ve shared many struggles and victories.

Like a Bell curve. Or a punk Domino falling then lining them up takes longer just to go down again in half the time. Repeat.

It’s very likely I Will try to talk about many things at once.

I really can’t help that. LOL.

Jury’s still out but I get most of my writing and miscellaneous musings from mom.

Dad can write the best, longest, and precious prayers and notes.

Almost delicately but like you KNOW he’s giving you a hug.

A Good mix tape’s paper Version.

Enter Run on sentences. Truly a stream by now.

Although my brain muscle is weak I’ve been encouraged by several people to Start a blog. Someday I’ll include the past 2 years of w/e pics are on other SocMed.

I can’t think of anything worse.

Yea, okay LOL.

Judgment free. Occasionally… like normal doses then have to work through that.

Mostly that’s because I knew nothing about anything before I opened My computer and started sharing My thoughts under zero context ridden or form at all.

More likely as well to offend and piss someone off. Well done you’re now one less friend popular. There’s an App for that tho-tracking people Who don’t like you.

Not sure where I’ll land with this. It may not land you either.

Because like a lot of us. Sometimes you don’t get to talk actually. No Room.

I like routine; that’s out. So it gets dull.

I’ve learned I hadn’t yet given myself the space to see all of things I can do sitting down.

But. By “given” I mean to say that perhaps I didn’t know it was there.

One Good thing I’ve gathered from this Hell.

Hell fresh by the Day! Never frozen.

So at that time and in this case of my life; sitting is fine.

Some of it isn’t too bad. The writing. You will find questionable punctuation. Run on sentences that I was running.

Relevance at all.

All around Confusion…altho connect the dots could have been seen as practice.

Or annoying even. I’d have no words.

I truly don’t set out to be funny. I could never do stand-up or improv. Or act.

Humor forced just takes and receives too much energy that might come off insincere.

Nothing on command.

Like Matt Perry’s brilliant improv wit it just doesn’t hit the same.

B/c it was scripted.

A syllabus for it Imagine.

The horn to jump off the swim block.

It’s when Life feels more scripted a lot of people close up.

That’s because you’re not in charge anymore. I’ve lost the Power.

Don’t prefer caring about whether someone likes me like I used to.

I believe you can snooze me for 30 days or say ‘I’m done w/ her’ and send Me to the cyberarchives.

Okay. Okay.

So—90% of the time I’m witty and sarcastic with a bit of cynicism, discomfort (for you), and pettifogging.

I write primarily about the questions of intersectionality.

How do things fit.

Let’s Fit it.

Until I figured out physics and calculus and basic math were behind a career in architecture and the classes I would have to take, I enjoyed taking things apart to make something else.

Not always pretty.

Could be Good what I took apart was the best thing we can’t see.

Like I’m writing questions but with wisdom not meaning to do that either,

A lot of people don’t like that. You do you! Baby.

I don’t mean to be at all harsh or hurtful. I try not to say that anything vainly.

I say it b/c a lot of what I’m writing is all of every piece of stream of consciousness tallied.

And it was a synapse connecting another.

Maybe that’s the creative part? The other side of My Brain is telling Me to ✔ on the other side so I’m like…crickets.

What I write is stream of consciousness, brutally honest and to some might be lightly offensive. In College writing this Way would’ve absolutely driven Me crazy.

Then life steps in and bonks u on the head with a newspaper but 15 years later returns the favor with an iPhone.

Or too blunt. And comes across as harsh. And that’s mostly because if I don’t have an emoji to match my real-life broken ღ I’m breaking up with you.

Self reflection: impulsive

I used to journal so much growing up.

When did I lose that innocence?

We can’t talk about folding paper into cranes and witchcraft finger fortune games anymore?

No more MASH?

Huh, maybe you weren’t born this Way. Ur Parents just drew circles nearest each other or your apple stem twist broke too soon and you want a partner whose name starts with P.

Very often I overshare. If you’re reading this this is not brand new information. No ability to say things simply. Think I’ve already. That can put me really vulnerable to more bitcoin hacks.

And then you need to figure out what bitcoin is. And whether Mario can collect coins as well in place of the hackers.

I’d say ask Tom Brady b/c of his investments but since retirement he’s been pretty deflated.

Mean people that mean to hurt.

First of all I feel sorry for you. Not in a poor you tho.

People Who hurt on purpose don’t often have any Way to vent or get a rise other than evoke feelings in and deflect toward a schoolmate.

Skip back to the part I tried talking about vulnerability. It truly is the invisible cloak and no one can see you but nothing makes sense still and you’ve only fixed what’s on the outside. Now you’re peeved AND cloaked.

At this conjunction junction next I’d suggest try shopping at Target opposed to Abercrombie then.

Feet in the water right above bankruptcy to see how things could be different only what…if?

Good ♧ seriously.

So there’s more grace given when you fall. When it’s not your month Day or even year!

Nobody is there for you!!

And My cloak is getting rained on.

Maybe gathering strength from falling will come a common sense with a 6th one but with seriously meaningful things I’ve learned and less hard knock’s Life for us.

The hard Way.

The bottom’s still there and it actually stinks stinks. Discouraging b/c there are two sides to the bottom of the cave full of stalagTITES and mites.

All the up’s and down’s. Right there. And the COVID-19 bat OMG!

You know you may not be able to fall any further further but once you’re up again you’re wondering whether you should get some cement to close that thing off.

Choose to live! But welcome to the real world—it sucks—ur gonna Love it.

Almost 4got. In the cave you dont always have to wait for Jesus to be resurrected if that metaphor comforts you but if change comes and it requires a whole new worm can of Life we already can’t handle that gets us outta the dank I don’t think we need to ask permission to the rights of that Bible passage.

BUT.

Until YOU are ready for change...

Forget it. At least you meant well. Someone can guide that horse to water but it stays pretty hydrated, so he says he’s Good. Promise. The only talking animal and it was Me Who got to hear it. More importantly, who’s gonna ☊? Care? There’s a country song finding out Who your Friends are. A lot stay lost and it’s not helpful all our Friends aren’t the same.

Missing a Good chance to find out if you’re in a similar predicament and that not always a bad thing.

At times I have literally had to be lifted off the floor.

I don’t do this at all for pity. As you read, My Pride is the biggest obstacle to let Go.

When you do?

The hard way through this.

I am angry and irritable for bouts. Sometimes I’m silly and invite karma punishments.

Go all Brimstone and every type fire and the Old Testament has nothing New-thinking and no one new to add to it. SMH. Nail a list on the wooden church door reading it is nearing endgame. Or, Just open your hotel drawer and tear out the back half.

So change then— If it were Me and it has been just not an actual hole I’d be outta there due to the spiders and crickets alone. Jiminy’s Cool.

If u can’t change and just stay a novice bunny hill—fine! Stay there. Build some confidence through experience.

And isn’t that another thing? Something specific motivates the fire under your (cuckoo!) and before you’d see the dark without any End of the tunnel and more importantly with the light aspect. All the sudden you care b/c what? It applies to you of course be selfish. Fascinating yet humbling.

Then there’s the ‘Why Me’ (?) phase? Not fully pitiful but just pretentious enough to resume the trailblaze. Bad attitude with a healthy dose of are we there yet and trying to Balance whether someone is saying …’they get it; you always feel bad’ so…KY Basketball banter? Ashamed accompanies too bc thing is a few times I did kind of scoff at phrases like I always feel bad. Like, here’s 2 Extra strength Tylenol.Alright, Ok, come test for Covid 1/29/22. It shouldn’t take going through something to empathize with or change but you could’ve listened for longer with a clear mind. Just cannot wrap your head around it and I think sometimes that’s okay. What’s next I’ll try so hard.

+ It’s 12:01am of 1/29/24 (so last night), you still can’t do math and/or struggle to add or subtract 12 so aren’t entirely sure its your sophomore year orientation, and you already surrender to what you didn’t want to get up for in the first place. Kind of silly u set the alarm! B/c Pain, confusion, Discomfort and a Deep loneliness that has very little to do with people awaits. That whole scenario is a disaster but look who’s standing and GOT. UP. period. 15 years ago that’s where I’d be. Just defeated.

THAT. Is enough some days. I say that to you struggling to believe the same but know Deep down.

Year 2 longhaul and youre wondering why there are anniversaries at all given about half are always sad or tragic. Evoking the worst on what could be the best. Might be something To think 2 minutes ago you’d ended your prayer to have a better Day. Of anything is true about everything happens for a reason I’d say having to chooose how to respond given you have the privilege at all to that just means were normal. B/c ill be honest I would not

I’m angry. WHAT is so complicated about your lack of Faith or belief prayer must go into an encrypted iCloud even the FBI can’t retrieve or interpret. Never had a chance! But I’ll add that it’s worth noting prayer doesn’t deal with its existence in transaction currencies..

Feel less Pain but feel more with it or stronger now. Or, just plain ‘ol numb. Similar to Addiction I suppose people get so used to being healthy one Way or another they don’t even notice better OR worse and no one is getting married.

Truth is.

Yea.

I’m in Hell, but I’m not on a ventilator. I’m not without relentless Support.

I still can smile but laugh just a bit before it hurts.

Something is always worse.

SomeONE is doing worse.

Somewhere and definitely rn.

I never knew I’d be dealing greed of perspective for this Long.

Something you’ll never find out about that changed your life’s trajectory where an explanation would have only confused things.

Then we still have the chance to be astonished and then genuine bc of that. Thankful. Expectant. With Faith somehow. Maybe carrying someone else’s Hope for a while might burden you less for a short time.

You dont need to see eye struggle and suffering. You dont need examples. You just know. There’s a fleeting peace u might not see again for 2 days but in knowing it’s not just you with the same bs going on.

Like here. Here is someone who needs support but in a different Way but how unique it could be to trade just for a bit. It’s not leg day this time remember u agreed a temp trade.

We don’t have to know everything. Most of the time I don’t give God the time to keep up w/ Me let alone do anything miraculous before I just hang up.

Although My Life was headed in a completely renewed direction in so many ways of recovery—

I got sick. Not because it was meant to be.

Because COVID. Possibly a rabid bat. Cracked vile or petri-dish

Everything does not happen for a reason and ppl dont like hearing that bc its an easy out. Says time might go on but this thorn wont ever heal. How do we respond? that’s the most authentic and a strength yes or no wand.

I hate cliché. Thing is tho…I think we all hate it b/c it doesn’t hold us accountable. Eh it’s fine.

Unfortunately we wouldn’t have the pretty, surprise, one of the Walk to Remember walks. All up to the of healing and forgiveness individual to each of us.

If for Me that means ive healed all I can and I’m counting on research to help Me out some more maybe I just keep going. Trust Me nothing is forgotten but you do know now that at least you were strong and capable enough to figure all that at all. And—I can do that. Some days aren’t that kind.

Maybe it becomes a goal we never anticipated but ✔ your resilience at the ticket line and saddle up, honey.this donkey only holds ____ lbs. let some things Go. That thing will still only walk in a circle but you’ve evenly distributed your baggage.

The feeling of pure joy. Which btw does still require a thesaurus b/c it is NOT the same as joy. Like a preventative Med to an acute one.

Then feel Accomplishment.

Not knowing what’s next but trying to be prepared.

It’s a surprise party we never RSVP’d and don’t regret it.

And it’s a Good thing u got outbid for that yacht.

Hell, tho, you won’t be forgotten but pushing helps the donkey move faster for now that is acceptable.

Unshun. Reshun. (This will make sense if you Watch the Office)

Flee fly. Be gone. Thankfully we hope to come out more resilient after the rip and tear and often not fully repaired sewing lessons.

But perhaps the biggest trait I’ve had to work on is My Pride. I want to do it.

I’ll give myself 3 strikes. 4 balls.

Then I walk to First.

Please do not get Me a gift.

I Love you and that was so sweet.

Would I be as generous?

Do u work, yea. It’s just one really hurts more and being tough isn’t tough at all if it’s not helping the worst hurt.

Those are sitting down, timeout thoughts.

The compression socks need to breathe.

But once the Pride slides over, let go, I get to know how it feels to very tangibly be taken care of and watched over.

Patience. The other side of a rant.

Later on that.

My main goal is to learn. Connect. Be called out if something comes off really tasteless.

Laugh at things that don’t have anything to do with being chronically sick. Laugh about what Medicine u had to administer and royally failed.

Sometimes all coupled with a handicap car-tag. No crutches either b/c I don’t like hearing I Will get better. It is a nice statement but it is impossible to be sure. Ive struggled with that b/c I know everyone believes that and means well I’ve just taken prior sick Gentry’s generalization and multiplied.

I am not making light. I think part of me is using the sarcasm as a coping mechanism.

Praise God there is something that does help the pain or at least distract from that Pain just not the one in your legs.

A codependency just a bit less severe. Embarrassing. Reason for judgment. Too easy.

If you can believe it—-I am not the same person I was 2 years ago.

For now I truly don’t know how. Pain can leave, anything traumatic can be worked on. You’ve got your scars.

I actually really think a scar is just unique as a snowflake or fingerprint. Telling so many stories. B/c a scar does mean something has healed. And it never forgets at one time it was painful. I’d prefer to see what I accomplish but I see wonder and beauty in them.

Things get pretty deep, complicated and downright pitifully sad. Vulnerable. Frighteningly true and relevant.

So I take what Good I can get in that day and pray those with LHC (Long-Haul COVID-19)

Be released.

However. On the flip tail’s side.

I’m 35 years aware there are some people who just don’t like me.

Until recently I wouldn’t have meant ‘sorry not sorry.’

I do now. To a respectable extent.

Reader discretion is advised. I promise I never set out to hurt anyone.

definitely not on purpose.

Because. Idgaf. Not bars being held. Que sera, sera.

complete transparency and seriously tho this doesn't mean i dont care. i wear my heart on my sleeve like a ding-dong ready to get hurt.

call it a diversion. we were on a break.

i just might take all of whatever hits wrong and turn that in to whatever ounce of assurance I can with the openness and to the best capability to learn new things and grow with compassion.

And back to writing—may already be just engrained but I don’t ever have a thesis, 3 supporting ideas or a better word then a conclusion.

You might find yourself confused. Reading it again prob won’t help.

Some will be really bad. Ugly. Waste of time. it was at least therapeutic for me.

Already is.

Even more might not make sense.

Read at your own risk, basically.

I have confidence but not really. Just enough not to care to change.

But I think about it. Because I’m wrong a lot.

challenge me. ill try to get through the fog.

But a lot of things have changed. in ways i might not even know Beauty in the Mess.

To sum up the above (sorry, there won’t be another summary after this disclaimer’s commercial intermission.)

I want to be as positive as possible.

Be in control of what I can. Ask for help for what I cannot.

I’m so ready to get My Life back. Trust Me and trust anyone Who tells your theyre in constant pain.

Really embarrassing I used to kind of scoff and be empathetic.

Funny how youre so sure of things.

Until it happens to you.

Suddenly it’s back to the drawing board and humility.

I wear my ღ on my sleeve. My greatest superpower and kryptonite.

What you read is as close to what you get as possible.

Balance can be unfair.

Please know that I care. I try harder than I ever had before. There are things I didn’t even Imagine could happen to someone when sick.

In all the ways I want to come out of this even better than what I envy I was entering into when I got sick.

There will be a WIDE range of thoughts similar to how i write. Mostly Sports and public figures and the politics I can comprehend.

B/c I know there’s someone out there who’s homeless because of this diagnosis. Or was deadly. Fired.

Divorced.

Ive become a bit of a nerd. Childish in some ways b/c you have to be creative…to be creative.

How do I even Start philosophizing that? So I don’t.

So I try My best to be the best I can. Inspire. Elicit laughter and new ways of thinking.

Questions.

Really tho? I just wanna be me.

thank you so sincerly to anything fromn a meme to a gift to a hug a prayer a smile, company, vibes if they can travel

but most of all

for holding hope when ive not been strong enough to.

For better or worse

for loving me.

making me feel heard.

idk what tomorrow holds but if its the same as today ill know at least i can make it and i am still beyond blessed and cared for and loved unconditionally.

even if forever.

wanna feel free, free.

to be me unabandoned.

changed for the better without knowing it.

some people dont have that option.

or even less the resource or safety to write about it.

Lastly mostly—I’m thankful for Insurance and the ability and privilege to work from home. And. Still have a job in general.

A Family and Family reserves holding me.

gentry.gonna.gents/g3

next. and if you made it this far, bless you.

thank you.

you mean more than you know to me. to anyone miscellaneous thanks as well and to my family and extended family and friends and job and insurance.

im in better shape than a lot. perspective sucks in the throes. selfish not selfish but my gosh turn the lights off. each journey is sooo different, but idk find the goodness and inspiration inbtw. There will be a rainbow soon enough, I wont make the bold claim and promise you one tho,

semi lastly and vulnerably, we've all been hurt. all going through something.

I say this every time something really bad happens. Ya know the ‘this is even worse,’ talk.

This one holds every candle.

Funny not funny none are the same and you’re never fully prepared.

and no one knows what it is you’re dealing.

give grace when I can’t sometimes.

cliché’s be damned lets just golden rule it b/c that one’s hard to do too but it sounds cute and Idont see a periodic table saying A! U! Be nice and welcoming.

I know I’ve forgotten something.

So I’ll fight.

But I still get to complain.

Feeling so entitled to this ill.

Sincerely,

Gentry

no ps you're welcome

[youdontlookautistic]

Inspirational/motivational/religious speakers and being autistic:

This can apply in any sort of religious or political context, I'm currently exploring it from my personal experience angle because I am so far behind on the human train 😭(Strap in cos I don't think this is going to be very motivational)

I wanted to be a speaker for about 30 years before I finally woke up. Growing up in Law of Attraction made me see how motivational speakers were so.... invigorating and alive. They pulsated with so much energy it filled the room and everyone rode the wave (gotta ride that walrus amirite).

Context: I grew up in LoA. This stuff was taught to me from age 4. I believed nothing else.

I wanted to be that person. I felt like I had energy and words and lessons to teach others. Ngl. Still want to be that person.

But there was always that one thing that stopped me. That one little tiny thing that I just couldn't get over in order for me to commit and go. That liiiittle niggling thing at the back of my brain that was

cognitive distortion.

Motivational speakers and their lessons as they grow:

If you're someone whose entire brand is to transform others, the you must do as I say and as I do. You must be the example of your teaching.

Look at Tony Robbins. He has been on this pedestal of glory as the perfect example of how to overcome your challenges and LIVE.

That Oprah gif? My mum did that (like 15 years ago). She went to Tony Robbins, and called me randomly and in happy tears to tell me she loved me, and then walked over hot coals. For real. What a legend.

But Tony Robbins is just a dude. A tall, deep voiced dude who knows how to use his body and voice in a way to convey an idea that gets others to take action. This is a separate post but the cult vibes and techniques of motivational speakers are El Primo.

The catch:

What happens when motivational/life speakers realise they're autistic?

Example: the last author/speaker I really connected with was Mel Robbins.

I read her book 3 years ago and there were answers in it I'd been struggling with for my life. Things around the action and motivation cycle, things like routines and countdowns. She spoke to me. Those techniques still work today.

Well since then Mel has found out she's got ADHD.

I've also found out I've got AuDHD

There's something about the motivational speaking circuit that says neurodivergent to me. Sorta like Silicone Valley, there are certain areas/topics/cultures that naturally attract our kind. It may seem odd, motivational speaking, especially if your idea of an autistic person is someone who doesn't communicate well or is too shy or gets overwhelmed by all that.

No no no, not for me. Speaking is different. Speaking means:

I am in front, and separate to, the crowd

They are specifically here to see me and listen to what I have to say and it's about my special interest so really you're gonna have to drag me away.

Because I love helping people and have a passion for teaching, all that + my excited adrenalin overcomes any hesitancy. I have no issues standing in front of a crowd/group of people, I've done many talks and workshops in my past. I feel like I'm at my best then.

If the lights are bright enough I can't see shit, so I could feel like I'm in a room alone.

I can leave the stage when I'm done and essentially disappear.

With the right set up it can feel like a wonderfully safe and incredibly validating place to be.

A good motivational speaker:

On top of that this is sorta what's required to be an effective and successful motivational speaker in today's day and age (in my humble Tumblr opinion):

A very clear business head to be able to do both business and speaking. Along with marketing, promotions, tours, live streams, admin, etc.

Ability to remain emotionally and mentally detached from your audience and the media, keeping the bigger picture in mind, so that you don't get influenced by them but remain true to your own path. All while interacting with them one on one all the time.

A deep understanding of reading human behaviour, especially on a day to day basis where motivational speaking topics often lie

A constant need to question and probe the reasons why we do what we do. A need to FIND ANSWERS AND FIX THE PUZZLE OF HUMANS.

Belief in what you promote.

Be your authentic self.

That #5 might be a killer cos I believed 150% in what Law of Attraction was. I wanted to be out there and help people and transform their lives.

So what happens when #5 changes for the speaker? What happens to a speaker when they look back at all they've said and done and promoted and realised it was for a specific, niche crowd and not the masses? That some of their lessons weren't helpful and possibly actually quite damaging and hurtful?

I'm really interested because these people are in a role that they themselves have promoted as being self aware, accepting growth, being your authentic self.

Thus the cognitive distortion. I couldn't commit to being a motivational speaker when I didn't ever truly feel like I could live my own truth. Be my authentic self. On stage it's 100% masking. It's still me but I'm numbing a lot of myself so that only certain portions are visible.

How many public people of interest, across history, have had that sort of reflection and then gone on to rectify or change their approach vs doubling down, ignoring the damage behind them, and pretending nothing changed? I'd really like to know this.

There are many authors and 'gurus' I've reflected back on that I loved, and wondered if I connected with them because on some lower level we were both neurodivergent.

Wayne Dyer (RIP), I loved Wayne Dyer. He spent his life in pursuit of spiritual and emotional freedom and I still massively respect him for that. However he came at it from a 'manifesting' angle, since he was LoA, and he passed away from cancer. The guy suffered and died from cancer and all I can think is 'Did he blame himself for that? Did he tell himself that he manifested that cancer because of something he couldn't overcome in himself?'

It's so painful to think those thoughts of someone you so admired. Because what if he was autistic? What if he realised that this desperate need to find answers was actually a scientific, realistic suffering that he never explored? What if he wasn't autistic but something else just as valid?

Not saying Wayne Dyer was autistic. Just using him as an example because of how much he affected me (positively).

History is a pattern of religion/spirituality until it's science.

What happens to the people who are in the positions of power, when the foundations of what they understood now becomes concrete and something totally different?

I want to knoooow

[seraphtrevs]

Yo my antihistamines are making me a little drowsy so this is the perfect moment to say I really appreciate those media literacy posts u sometimes reblog. Sometimes I feel so insane looking at the way ppl react to media these days. The redpill of getting an english degree amirite...

People always say an English degree is useless but like...it does teach you how to put what you read/see into context, which turns out is a pretty important skill!

Which is a thing that people don't always get about literary analysis - it's not about proving what an author/creator intended in order to solve a puzzle. It doesn't always matter what they were thinking, because even if a writer put zero thought into what they were doing, their ideas are still influenced by the culture in which they are creating. It's impossible for them not to be. That's where cliches come from, which is what happens when people mimic without really understanding why it's a cliche in the first place.

But if you understand that a story of doomed teenage lovers from rival families has a very deep history, I think you're much less likely to read a doomed teenage love story and think that the author's intent was to encourage teenage lovers to kill themselves, which is the level of discourse that we get sometimes

[schmem14]

WIP SNIP SUNDAY

Thanks @vukovich. Excuse me MA'AM, what the fuck am I in for with 24k9??? Y'all, check out her snip here. Peak angst.

As for MY WIP SNIP, this is a rough cut from my struggle bus of a Dronarry Fest Fic. Every other day I throw up my hands and give up, only to dive back in and try again. It's a Post-Apocalypse Cottagecore prompt. Nothing like holing up at the end of the world in a cozy hideout, amirite?

The Draught of Living Death.  Draco was poisoned with it, never to wake again. Harry had once brewed this to perfection, using these very notes to win himself the Felix Felicis that would one day save the world. But there was no antidote published in the book. Not even a Bezoar was enough to rouse the eternal sleeper from his suspension, he remembered Slughorn telling them. It had no known antidote. If Harry was to succeed, he’d have to attempt the antidote using the elusive and complex Golpalott’s law to calculate the precise mirror to this dangerous and complicated poison, and he be hard-pressed to seek help from anyone without revealing his reasons or rousing suspicion.   Harry opened his mouth to tell Narcissa his Potion’s NEWT was practically handed to him, and that he was just as bad at potions as she was when she clasped her hands and poured every hope into her choked, “Please… I need your help.” And for some reason, he couldn’t say no.  “I’ll… try. I can’t promise I’ll figure it out right away, but I’ll keep trying. As long as it takes.” Narcissa’s eyes fluttered shut, and a single tear skittered down her cheek. Her shoulders slumped in relief. “Thank you. In return, I offer you use of this home whenever you have need. I’ll meet you downstairs for some tea. Andromeda will be here soon so we can complete the vow, as promised.” She left Harry then, and Harry watched Draco, mesmerized. He’d seen the cartoon Sleeping Beauty once as a child, and that’s who Draco looked like, hands folded across his chest like the princess waiting for her kiss.  Not that a kiss would wake Malfoy.  Still, Harry found himself approaching the bed, bracing his hands on the mattress and sinking to his knees until their faces were inches apart.  He looked over his shoulder, listening for the sounds of a kettle clattering on the hob and the clink of teacups being set on a counter.  He turned back to Draco, and so quickly he couldn’t quite believe he’d done it after the fact, he brushed his mouth against Draco’s, and pulled back, breath held. 

Tagging: ANYONE. LITERALLY ANYONE. My brain is mushy mush.

[hope-of-virgo]

kita gets her first period: an autobiography

content warning: this post will contain descriptions of bodily functions and the menstrual cycle, mostly as they apply to transfemmes.

so this is basically my first experience with "having a period". as some readers will be aware, I'm transfemme and in my first year of HRT. i've been on the stepped-up dose of HRT for the last 4 months, and last month I got the baby version with some of the emotional changes and none of the physical symptoms.

being someone who doesn't own a uterus, i don't get the bleeding so it's a bit hard to tell sometimes what part of my cycle i'm in. about 2 weeks ago i installed Clue on my phone (which is great; you can just straight up turn off the bleeding panel and it'll still track your cycle. can't say the same for all the apps). weirdly, that alone was kind of gender-affirming; my entire life i wouldn't say i "missed it", but it was definitely a bit odd to me that it wasn't a thing that i was a part of. when people ask me "have you always known you're trans", which is a question you shouldn't ask someone and especially not a stranger (looking at you, path collector at my gp's surgery), i usually point them to when i was like 4 years old and felt a bit ripped off that i couldn't bear my own kids. then male puberty happened and my body started changing in a way that i hated. turns out, men actually like being men and i tolerated it rather than having any enjoyment of the experience. and having to fake it all the time is *exhausting*. never fucking mind that men as a group didn't like me because i refused to participate in the "women amirite?" discourse, and women didn't see me as part of the sisterhood because i'm not a gay man. on some level that's fine, but it kind of left me in this nowhere space when it came to relating to my gender. fortunately society as a whole has come a long way when it comes to supporting nonbinary genders.

on saturday, i went to see Betty Who in Melbourne. she was amazing, and Cry Club and Eilish Gilligan opened for her (and were also fantastic). every queer person in Melbourne was there and i've never felt more welcome and included in a space.

while sobering up from the pints i'd drank so i could drive, and hiding the glasses from said pints that i'd stashed in my handbag, i had some takeaway food then drove home. at 3am i got home and went to bed after taking my estrogen. perfect.

come 6am however, the fire nation attacked. suddenly i'm in a race between having some metacloprimide and puking, and taking a seat while genuinely concerned that the fabled double dragon might make an appearance. alison the cat was very helpful in this entire exchange, as she kept me company during the ordeal and nagged at me for breakfast. meanwhile, i'm having cramps bad enough that i was literally sobbing for about 10 minutes, and gradually managed to coax my way back to bed.

i felt like shit all of sunday which i've covered in another post, and spent the entire day nursing an alcohol hangover, an autism hangover, and pms. my fiancee turned up at 7:30pm after work and said "yeah you look like you feel like shit". not sure what clued her in, might have been my appearance or the fact that all the blinds were closed *and* i was wearing the hangover sunglasses in the middle of the living room.

it was a miserable night for sleeping in the middle of summer, and we were both awake at 3:30am. around 5am, the cramps started. ah, cramps. probably the symptom we hear about the most. see, society as a whole has a fuckin' weird relationship with periods. it's only been in the last like 3 or 4 years that we've seen a concerted attempt to try to end period shame, including mainstreaming of period underwear, and a change in language in supermarkets to change from "feminine hygiene" to "period care". which is great! it's a thing that roughly half of everyone deals with for approximately a week every month, and not all of those people are women! a lot of the culture around period shaming has its roots in misogyny, with people claiming that women become complete monsters during their periods, that period blood is somehow worse than other blood, or that it's disgusting to think about blood coming from a vagina because that's where sex happens. just these talking points lend themselves to a fuckin' gross idea that the only thing women are good for is sex and not being in positions of responsibility. **none of these things are true**

and yet, even knowing this, when i started getting cramps, horrifying nausea, and what's colloquially known as "the period shits", the first thing i felt was shame. i felt like i couldn't reach out to my fiancee for support, and that i should take all possible steps to hide what i was going through in that moment. the cramps continued all day, and mine weren't horrifying but i took a heat pack to work just in case. it made it a bit harder to focus on my day, and i was doing my best to not show it to my colleagues. i really can't say as i blame AFABs for getting a bit shitty around this time of the month even without the hormonal mood swings; it's fuckin' hard to keep your cool with people when you feel like your abdomen is being sandpapered, and also if you mention anything it's an invitation for misogyny that society as a whole still normalises. and that's before you factor in things like endometriosis or PCOS, which take the experience to a whole different level. i'm incredibly angry at the federal government for restricting access to opioid-based pain medication while also keeping cannabinoid-based products unavailable to pretty much everyone unless you live in the ACT. society doesn't treat women's pain as any kind of priority, and that needs to fucking stop. greg hunt (aptly named) led that particular charge, and this bitch is about to write an eye-watering letter to both the state and federal ministers for health.

today they haven't been too bad, and i've had a burst of energy as well, which is highly unusual for me, especially considering how much i've been dragging my ass around for the last couple of weeks.

overall though, i'd give the experience so far about a 6/10. i've got a serve of gender euphoria from it, which came as a complete surprise, and i'm still not 100% sure whether i've actually got my period or just in the leadup to it, but i'll know more next month.

i told my bridesmaids and close friends though, and all of them were amazingly supportive. i love my gals, i couldn't ask for better friends. for as much airtime as TERFs get, especially at the moment, the sisterhood has been nothing but beautiful to me. puberty is hard enough at the best of times, and going through it a second time in your 30s is a bit rough. i'm genuinely grateful for all the support i've received, and hope to give the same support to others.

sisters, not cisters

I have period cramps for the first time and I have to go to work in half an hour. this is a hate crime.

yet again I'm amazed by how AFABs do this every month for like 40 years

[jeongvision]

my favourite virgo uwu congrats on your 1k milestone! it honestly felt like yesterday when you asked me if you should post a short drabble and i'm glad you did :') i'm going to make a request 👉🏼👈🏼 jaehyun + teacher or roommates!au (you pick! it doesn't matter to me ily) + “Quick, my ex just walked in! Pretend that we’re dating.” I LOVE YOU AND AGAIN CONGRATS ON 1K 💗

pairing. roommate! jeong jaehyun ✗ fem! reader

genre. fluff, idiots to lovers au

warnings. profanities, bantering, mentions of food & food poisoning, semi proofread

author's note. lmao i know i'm like.. super late perhaps a year late but better late than never, amirite? (; but heads up tho ya girl is more rusted than the statue of liberty so bare with me here ahhh

be sure to read the notes at the end of this! it’s a mini surprise hehe

“I don’t like you.”

Jaehyun paused scrolling through his phone, shifting his attention to you seated across from him, a smug look decorated on your face.

He pocketed his phone away. “As I’ve been told," he said unfazed.

“Your face pisses me off.”

“Funny, people usually tell me the opposite.”

"I don't give a rat's ass on what other people think," you spat. Grabbing your iced beverage, you took an obnoxious sip, purposely of irritating the man in front of you.

His left eye just barely twitches...

.. and there goes a sigh.

Perfect.

"What do you want?" he groaned.

You smirked. "I’m not paying next month’s rent.”

He scoffs, “Careful, (name). You sound like you're falling in love with me."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, slamming your drink back on the table. Both of you are currently at a quaint café, situated at a table next to their window wall. The sun beamed against your skin, warming you from the cool air blasting from their central AC system. It gave you both a clear view of passerby’s as you both indulged in your beverages, but it’s hard to enjoy your drink when your roommate refuses to sympathize with your financial situation.

"Come on," you whined. "I haven't been working the past few weeks because of finals, and I barely have enough money in my account to last me a week.”

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. "Not my problem. We had an agreement to split the rent, so you have to uphold your end of the agreement."

You could feel a vein on your forehead throbbing. "Jae, you're literally swimming in money, what the fuck. Just cut me some slack for this month and I'll pay next month's."

“Nope,” he remarked, pulling his phone out.

“I’ll pay it in full.”

“What do you want for dinner?”

"Don't ignore me!"

"I think I’m in the mood for some Thai food.”

You see him scrolling on your phone, most likely looking for nearby Thai restaurants to order takeout from. You rolled your eyes. “Doesn’t matter to me,” you shrugged. “Just don’t order from that pizza place again. I got food poisoning from there.”

He rolled his eyes, “Listen, it was Mingyu’s idea to try that place out.”

“Well, tell your friend Mingyu that he has shitty tastes in pizzas.”

“Noted,” he chuckled.

The memory of it sent chills down your spine. You remembered when he came home one day, a warm box of pizza in hand, freshly made as you could tell from its divine smell wafting in the room. You were chastised to steal the box away from your roommate and swallow it all up in the confines on your bedroom, only to be blocked by Jaehyun when he held a hand out to stop you, already seeing the cogs turn in your head as you eyed on the box.

It was odd to see the restaurant’s name not imprinted on the box of the cardboard box, only a generic clipart of an Italian street with the word ‘PIZZA’ enlarged across it. But you didn’t pay much attention to it then, your starving self was more focused on eating your delectable dinner and satiating your tastebuds.

However, that night ended with you and Jaehyun deteriorating in your respective bathrooms, begging to any living deity out there to grant you mercy from the horrendous suffering you both went through as a result of that pizza.

Needless to say, it took you three months to get over your pizza-phobia.

The bell at the café’s entrance rang, bringing your attention back to reality. You looked past Jaehyun to catch a glimpse of the customer that just walked in, only for you to drop your jaw.

"Oh my god.." you murmured.

Your roommate stopped what he was doing, aware of the dreadful tone behind your words. He looked at you with concern.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

The customer lets out a sigh, a rush of cool air brushing against his flushed skin before scanning the interior.

"He... He's here.”

He raised an eyebrow, “Who’s here?”

What a lucky day it is for you because that same customer managed to catch your eyes directed on him, sending your body into a state of panic. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to see you! He slowly starts to stride over to your table, prompting your fight or flight to kick in at full force.

“Quick, my ex just walked in! Pretend that we’re dating.”

“What the hell is goi–”

“(Name)! Is that you, I see?”

You gulped, fruitlessly easing your nerves, your mind running a mile a minute. You could feel your hands feeling clammy and internally curse yourself. You can feel bile forming in the back of your throat as you mustered up the courage to look up at your ex

You feigned a smile. “N-Nice to see you, too, Seokmin. Didn’t know that you were in the area.”

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow at you at the mention of your ex’s name.

“Yeah, my girlfriend asked me to pick up some coffee for her and saw this place in passing.”

You felt yourself quiver for a second at the mention of girlfriend, but rebounded when he looked back at your roommate, as his back was faced to the entrance.

“Oh, my apologies! You had company here, it seems. Your name?”

“Oh, him,” you gulped. “He’s–”

“Her boyfriend, Jeong Jaehyun,” he responded

Your jaw goes slack from the latter’s quick response, seeing how he stood up from his seat to shake the latter’s hand. Seokmin looks back at him in shock, processing his words.

“O-Oh, you’re her boyfriend?”

Jaehyun nodded in response, his signature dimpled smile plastered on his face as he reached his hand out for a shake. “Indeed, I am, and I’m loving every second of it,” he chuckled. “And you are?”

Your ex returned the handshake, or more like only gripped his hand, seeing as how neither party didn’t move any more than that. The atmosphere surrounding the two men suddenly turned too thick for you to bear, further failing to quell the anxiety surfacing at every corner of your body. You didn’t know what to expect when Jaehyun surprisingly acquiesced to your plan, but the rigid stance in your ex’s posture is more than what you expected in response.

“Didn’t think that (name) would move on so quickly,” he commented.

Jaehyun narrowed his eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We had history, you know.”

“No, I don’t know, because you were never brought up in our conversations.”

“She’s never mentioned me in passing?”

Jaehyun faked pondering for a moment.

“Nope,” he answered, pointedly popping the last syllable, “probably not important enough to talk about.”

“A-Anyways,” you intervened, “i-it was really nice meeting you again, but my boyfriend and I were in the middle of an important discussion before you came over, if you don’t mind.”

Your ex relents, finally letting go of Jaehyun’s hand before facing you again with a forced smile.

“Of course, where are my manners?” he remarked. You noticed how tense his jaw become. “It was nice seeing you again, (name). Hope to see you around.”

“Hope that you don’t,” you heard Jaehyun mumbling under his breath. You sucked in a breath when your ex turned to glare at your ‘boyfriend’, but quickly recomposed himself before waving at you, and only you, goodbye.

You let out a bated breath you didn’t know you were holding in. That whole interaction drained all the energy out of your body, slumping your figure against your seat as Jaehyun sat back down. You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at your ex standing by the counter, waiting for his order you deduced. You should’ve known it was inevitable to meet your ex one day, but that doesn’t mean that you were fully prepared for the moment.

You bit on your lip.

“Thanks… for covering me back there,” you softly spoke.

In your peripheral, you could tell that his face remained impassive, but you can from his eyes that he had question he wanted to ask, prodding you for some answers.

“Yes, it’s that ex from last year,” you grimaced.

“The one you called crying to me while I was on my date?”

You winced at the memory of it. It wasn’t your intention to interrupt his date back then. Your mind was voided of all logic, too distressed to remember that your roommate had made plans that evening. You only thought about that breakup phone call you had minutes prior, and how you needed someone to grieve to.

And the first person to come to mind was Jaehyun.

Short to say, you’ve never seen him go on any more dates after that, stating his reasons that your well being was his first priority. You offered multiple times to set him up with blind dates in repayment of screwing up his date night, but he rejects at every attempt you made. Sorry, but your breakup messed with my dating game, so save yourself the hassle, he said one time.

“Y-Yeah.”

“Kind of figured, his name sounded familiar” he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. “Still can’t believe you made me ditch my hot date for your snotty self.”

“You could’ve just said no,” you scowled.

“I find it rather insulting that you’d think I could leave you alone like that. You were sobbing so loud that my date heard you, for god’s sake.”

Nevertheless, you can feel his fingers encapsulating your hand, thumb rubbing against the back of your fingers. It certainly did help calm you down, but your heart starts racing once again for a whole different reason.

“But… you did good,” he murmured.

You looked at him confused.

“Your ex, I mean,” he clarified. “Back then, you couldn’t bear to hear the sound of his name, and yet you were able to face your ex in person even if it was all fake. That’s come to show that you’ve healed from back then, or at least still healing. But still, that’s not an easy thing to do.”

He gives your hand a firm squeeze, and your chest warms at the kind gesture.

“I know I don’t say it often, but I’m proud of you, (name). Always am and always will.”

If you two weren’t in a public place, you could cry right then and there–curse the heavens for putting you at an unfavorable setting. You swore you felt somersaults in your chest, endorphins coursing through your veins. You squeezed his hand back in response, a smile gracing your features to mask the turmoil in your heart and mind.

“Thank you, Jaehyun. That means a lot to me.”

He smiles back, and the Gods whispered to you at that moment that no one could compare to the man before you. Nodding his head towards the exit, he gets up from his seat.

“How about we go get dinner and rewatch some High School Musical at home? Sounds good to you?”

You’re already up and out of you seat, thrilled to spend any waking moment with your favorite moment by yourself.

“Does that mean I’m not paying next month’s rent?”

“Absolutely not.”

author’s note. if you haven’t noticed from the way i ended the fic, this story is set place in the same universe as my can i borrow? series! this is actually the beginning of their budding relationship which you can see that actually blooms into an established one further into my works.

hope you enjoyed it! let me know what you guys think and be sure to reblog it too <3

[flamboyant-king]

Mixed in with my dreams the other night, i was having like a high school au play out at random portions. So like the commercials of my main dreams. 

(Tbh i kinda wanna draw out a lot of my dreams. This was calming.)

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure 

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. 

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. 

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!] 

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ 

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life. 

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends. 

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space. 

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life. 

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him. 

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings. 

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you. 

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change. 

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history). 

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever. 

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one. 

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second. 

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table. 

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all. 

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking. 

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense. 

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.) 

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue. 

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?” 

Wrong. 

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend. 

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.) 

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull. 

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon. 

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak. 

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection. 

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was. 

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners. 

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him. 

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school) 

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time. 

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon. 

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you. 

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be. 

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t. 

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life. 

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you. 

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract. 

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we? 

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second. 

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.” 

Right. Of course. Obviously. 

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way. 

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know. 

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you. 

Yes, that’s it, just say no. 

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact. 

Jake does not say no. 

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another. 

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart. 

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.  

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.  

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting. 

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?  

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.  

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea. 

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you: 

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture. 

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. 

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right? 

Spoken like a true simp. 

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously. 

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all. 

Wednesday, December 9th 

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well. 

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist. 

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.” 

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say. 

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself. 

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...” 

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good. 

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often. 

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush. 

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment. 

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking. 

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers. 

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun. 

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table. 

“I’m helping y/n study” 

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday” 

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?” 

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party? 

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime. 

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.” 

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes. 

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again. 

He then looks to you with puppy eyes. 

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you. 

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that. 

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought. 

Weird. 

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest. 

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.” 

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no. 

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party. 

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.” 

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.” 

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you. 

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay. 

Admittedly cute. 

Thursday, December 10th 

You are having a bad day. 

You’re having the mother of bad days. 

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due. 

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms. 

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse. 

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about. 

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal). 

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n. 

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done. 

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space. 

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays. 

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude. 

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone. 

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding” 

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is 

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? :// 

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today. 

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home. 

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures. 

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy. 

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue. 

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.” 

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in. 

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window. 

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door. 

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right? 

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats. 

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood. 

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.” 

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?” 

“Touché,” you click your tongue. 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.  

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?” 

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously. 

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you. 

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?” 

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood. 

You nod at his answer. 

“You two make a good couple.” 

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.” 

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen. 

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say. 

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy. 

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.  

Jake. 

Weird. 

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.  

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.  

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.  

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.  

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.  

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing. 

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.  

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.  

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.  

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation. 

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.  

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.  

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"  

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.  

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.  

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon. 

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you. 

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.” 

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show. 

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice. 

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand. 

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands. 

Hm. A little too familiar. 

Then, it clicks in his head. 

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?” 

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied. 

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table. 

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken. 

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?” 

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!” 

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him. 

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice. 

You break out of his trance and scoff at him. 

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well.  Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you. 

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.” 

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence. 

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute. 

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.” 

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name. 

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place.   “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan. 

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts. 

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.” 

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it. 

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute. 

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being. 

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion. 

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind. 

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.” 

Friday, December 11th 

The party does not clear your mind. 

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school. 

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood. 

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway. 

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case. 

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings). 

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news. 

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people. 

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.  

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap. 

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously. 

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive. 

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you. 

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth. 

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.) 

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons. 

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no. 

But he sure can be awkward. 

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him. 

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you. 

Bless this pure, pure boy. 

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them. 

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.” 

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!” 

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response. 

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den. 

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.  

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.” 

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."  

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?” 

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap). 

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.” 

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake. 

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement. 

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.” 

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth. 

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now. 

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.” 

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him. 

“What do you mean I’m too–” 

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say. 

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his. 

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at. 

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop. 

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him. 

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.” 

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing. 

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened. 

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you. 

He’s screwed. 

Saturday, December 12th 

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night. 

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream. 

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise. 

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone. 

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search. 

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before. 

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet? 

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up 

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry 

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy? 

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door 

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts. 

Talk? Outside his door? 

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down. 

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less. 

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however. 

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch. 

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is. 

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue. 

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?” 

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you. 

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home. 

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake? 

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps. 

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes. 

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you. 

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence. 

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking. 

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think. 

Not when it comes to you. 

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you. 

“Look, I-” 

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around. 

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth. 

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.” 

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.  

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare. 

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.” 

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help. 

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.” 

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.” 

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away. 

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare. 

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two. 

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily. 

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you. 

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. 

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. 

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure. 

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response. 

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else. 

“Too late.” 

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’))))) 

[gubler-me-up]

Successful Experiments

Request: I’m not the anon that asked about the requests but could your do one with Spencer where it’s the first time he’s eating you out (but not the first time you’ve had sex) and he makes you cum once then he’s basically like I need more of this and makes you do it again and again. So just a bunch of overstim pretty please

A/N: Thanks for sending in this request, anon! This request ends smut week part three or should I say smutmas? I missed an opportunity to say that when I announced smut week part three but you live and you learn amirite? ALSO ALSO I didn’t post this in the middle of the night so I’m making progress with that issue LOL Anyway, this one’s shorter but packed with good overstimulation so I hope you really enjoy it! 🎉

Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!reader

Category: Smut

Content warning: Oral sex (female receiving), over stimulation, swearing

Word count: 1.5k

————-

You liked to spend your Saturday mornings laying in bed until it was nearly noon. You weren’t the type to sleep in late which annoyed you but your body would still be too exhausted to start the day early. You usually laid there on your phone or with a good book to get your mind functioning for the day.

When Spencer wasn’t at work your mornings were a bit sweeter. He would get up around the same time as you but his coffee addiction wouldn’t let him linger in bed for long. He would make himself a cup of coffee and make you a cup of your favourite tea. He would gently leave it on the nightstand while you were reading a book or on your phone.

That’s how your morning started. You were happy he was home because he had been busy for the past few weekends. He had set your tea on the nightstand by your side as usual before going over to his side. He set his cup down on the nightstand on his side before lifting the blanket to go back under it. You set your book down to look over at him with a smile as you watched him get comfortable.

“Thank you, baby,” you said.

He looked at you with a kind smile before leaning in to give you a peck on your lips. He caressed your cheek before tucking a loose strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I’d do anything to make you happy,” he said.

You giggled. “Oh really?”

He smirked as his hand caressed down your neck and then down to your chest. He gently kissed you again as you felt his hand continue its journey down your body. His hand reached your hip and then gently caressed your thigh. He leaned up from the kiss and you saw the desire wash over his face. He leaned in to kiss your neck.

“Really,” he whispered.

His kisses on your neck lingered down your body. Every move he made sent tingles up your nerves and soft moans left your mouth. He pushed the sheets off of the both of you as he reached your thighs. He positioned himself so his face was in-between your legs.

You spread your legs further apart to give him enough room. You could feel his breath hot and heavy on the fabric of your underwear. He hooked his finger around your underwear to move it to the side. You heard him let out a soft chuckled.

“You’re so wet already,” he said before he ran his tongue between your folds.

“Only for you,” you moaned.

You swore you could feel him smile as he continued to run his tongue up and down your folds. You tilted your head back as you soaked in every inch of pleasure he was giving you. He had never gone down on you before but he definitely knew what he was doing.

You hadn’t been a huge fan of receiving oral sex in the first place so every time he offered you would tell him it was okay. You didn’t know you were missing out on so much. You felt him run his tongue over your clit before he sucked on it. You rolled your eyes to the back of your head as he took his time catering to it.

You grabbed onto his hair to keep him as close to you as possible. Every stroke of his tongue sent you to new sensual heights you didn’t know you had. Especially when he took the extra time to play around with your clit with his tongue. The feeling was beyond words for you.

“Fuck,” you moaned as he sucked on your clit.

He moved from your clit and inserted his tongue into your hole. He stuck it in and out of you to tease you to filth. He then slid his tongue back up to your clit and rapidly flicked it with his tongue.

You tightened your grip on his hair. You could barely moan properly. Every breath that left your mouth was jagged and uneven. You felt something butterfly up your core. Then it hit you immediately. You tilted your head back and let out a loud moan as your legs shook from the orgasm rushing through you.

Spencer quickly stopped eating you out. You looked down at him with wide, wild eyes as he looked at you with wide, impressed eyes. A smile grew on his face as you were still trying to gain your composure.

“You orgasmed,” he said.

“Yeah,” you breathlessly said.

“And you didn’t want me to eat you out before because?” He joked.

You chuckled. “I…Because I didn’t know if I’d like it.”

“Well now you know,” he said.

He licked your in-between your folds again. You moaned as the last of your orgasm had faded from your body and you could feel a new one emerging soon. You tried to push his head back but he had wrapped his hands around your thighs to keep him in place. He looked up at you to see what was wrong.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked.

“Yes-I mean-no. I just-”

He flicked your clit with his tongue. “You just what?”

“I just…”

You trailed off as he continued to flick your clit. You loosened the grip you had on his hair and let his tongue have his way with you. You wanted to protest against him eating you out again so soon but his tongue had a way of convincing you even if he wasn’t talking.

He sucked on your clit again but harder this time. Your soft moans turned into animalistic groans. You felt your legs shaking from the stimulation but he kept them still. He stopped and went back to licking you in-between your folds. His eyes stared up at you as you look down at him with a look of dazed satisfaction.

“I need you to orgasm again,” he said.

“I don’t know if I-”

He went back to flicking your clit and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach form again. Your legs started to shake uncontrollably to the point where he didn’t even stop them from shaking.

“S-Spence…I don’t-I.”

He put his mouth over your clit to enclose it. He sucked on it and flicked it at a rapid pace again. Your headshot back and you let out a shriek as another orgasm took over your body. You could no longer keep your legs up and let them slide flat as the rest of your body went limp.

Spencer crawled up to you and gave you an overpowering kiss. You could taste your juices on his breath. His lips were extremely wet from you. He eased up and licked his lips as he watched you catch your breath. He smiled down at you before giving you a quick peck on the lips.

“One more time. I want you to scream my name this time,” he said.

You nodded. “Okay.”

“I know you’re overstimulated but I can’t get enough of pleasuring you,” he said.

You smiled. “Don’t stop then.”

He let out a soft chuckle before crawling back down your body to bury his face in you again. You laid limp until you felt him stick his tongue inside your hole again. You arched your legs up again. They were already shaking since they hadn’t gotten much of a break.

He licked you up and down over and over and over again until you had no choice but to arch your back. The overstimulation was getting to you quick and you loved it. You moaned uncontrollably and louder than the first two times. He had perfected his pattern and knew how to get you to scream his name as loud as you possibly could. He started to rapidly flick your clit again with his tongue and you immediately threw your head back.

“Spencer!” You screamed.

He continued to flick your clit with your tongue as you kept screaming out his name. The overstimulation you felt had brought tears to the rim of your eyes. Your legs shook immensely and you knew you were going to orgasm for the third time.

“Fuck, Spencer,” you screamed as your orgasm dawned on you.

You arched your back and let it ride out through your body. You let the tears drip down from your eyes as you desperately tried to catch your breath. Spencer crawled up your body until he reached your face. He wiped the tears from your cheek before giving you a quick kiss on your lips.

“You having an orgasm has to be the hottest thing ever,” he said.

You gave him a weak smile. “That was fucking fantastic.”

He chuckled at your breathless enthusiasm. He leaned in and gave you a long kiss to take the little breath you had right out of you. You dropped your body on the bad. You were all limp and tired out. Spencer took the cover and placed it over you.

“Time for a little nap?” He asked.

You chuckled. “Just a little one. When I wake up though I’m going to suck your dick so fucking good.”

He laughed. “I’m looking forward to it.”

—–

MASTERLIST

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[drawthething]

Happy New Year's! What's your favorite episode of BB? Favorite character? Favorite dynamic?

Ahh hi ❤️! Happy new year to you too :D

Favorite episode

Hmm it's so hard trying to just pick one fav ep so maybe top 3 :D? (I'm just gonna apologize if this turns into the longest most annoying post ever)

• Runaway Club: i rewatched this one so so many times it's not funny. The flashback scene, that breakfast club opening parody, the belchers kiddos & cool kids group on their shenanigans, mr frond, mr branca, ms schnur. Just so good all around

• The oeder games: arguably one of bb strongest finales. So many fun characters, Mr Fischoeder being the absolute lovable awful human being, Bob's character shines so much in this (i wish he get to have more focus eps like he used to :/), the classic funny scene between tina, zeke & j-ju, "boy shields" (did i just hear that tiny begrudging "i love you" coming from pesto sr's mouth 👀). The ending is super lovely too

• Ex mach tina: such a good episode? This is one of the rare eps where we get to see more of Jimmy Jr's character outside of his roller coaster of relationship with Tina (affectionate) and it's glorious. His musoems? Fricking masterpieces. The whole ep is hilarious tbh (i mean come on, robot tina, banjo bob? also antibot zeke pffft). Lots of t/jj moments too (yesss), with how similar tina & j-ju kind of are (two walking teenage disasters amirite?) and even though a selfish side of j-ju was shown (a very likely angsty teenage boy's selfishness), i think in the end it's shown that no matter how awkward their relationship can get, they can always have that little underlying friendship to back them on. And the kiss is so cute!

Favourite character

I suppose y'all are pretty familiar with my obnoxious love and adoration for my boy jimmy jr at this point, pffft. He's such a fun and complex character and deserves much more appreciation and exploration than just being part of shipping debate. Sometimes he's angsty, other times he's happy and absolutely living his life. Sometimes he's a jerk, other times he's a sweetpea. Sometimes he's an idiot, other times he's still an idiot. There're these realistic ugly flaws mixed with unique comical traits that makes me super invested in him pffft.

ANYWAY aside from j-ju, i have soft spots for other funky burgers folks too. My fav belcher have gotta be louise. Look at that kiddo, chaotic child trying voo-doos, almost cutting her brother's ear and calling a biker gang to also almost cut a teenager's ear pffft. And yet she sleeps with plushies, cuddles puppies (soft spot for animals eh?) and is super protective when it comes to her family & friends. She has her vulnerabilities and emotional depths too, which balance out her more fierce and feral sides and make her such a fun unique character (now if only the writers can still maintain that perfect balance with less life lessons stuff in the recent seasons :/)

Favorite character dynamic

For the belchers imma go with Bob & Louise. These two has such a sweet relationship that i really love. That heartwarming hawk & chick scene and louise wanting to take over bob's restaurant (oh imagine the shenanigans that will occur that day) just make my heart melt :]

For the non-belcher one, well can you guess :D? Jimmy Jr & Zeke! They are the caricature of bromance, the ultimate friendship achievement! Zeke's so unconditionally supportive and protective of his best friend it's beautiful. Jimmy Jr, despite his occasional issues, also looks up to and appreciates Zeke just as much. I love that they don't shy away from physical affections or compliments towards each other too, so adorable

[the-blind-assassin-12]

writer wednesday #10 6/29/22

Hi there friends, hope you’re all having a good week so far! I know its been 88 years since I did one of these posts and for that I am SO sorry. I’ve been doing a little better lately at carving out time to write AND read though, so I am getting back on track with these rec lists (and with the doodle reviews! look for a couple of those this weekend!) and with catching up on some stories that I have unknowingly overlooked, and I am so HAPPY about that. So without further ado, here are three things that I read this week that made me say “hey, that was great.” 

*as always these stories are listed by order of length.

Confined by @imtryingmybeskar

Ezra (Prospect) x Female Reader 

WC - 2.8k 

One of my favorite things about reading Ezra stories is seeing what nicknames our silver tongued prospector comes up with for the other characters he interacts with. Usually he comes up with them after only knowing people for a short while, but somehow they always seem to fit perfectly. I think it’s because Ezra is a good judge of character (more on that in a minute) and he’s able to get a good read on people relatively quickly. The nickname he gives reader here is perfect yet again. Banshee fits not only because she was yelling and screaming her head off when he first meets her, but also because she has a fighting spirit. She’s no angel, no delicate flower, and though he’s not even looking at her when he calls her that, somehow he still sees that it’s right. And once they start talking he knows that its right. But Ezra isn’t the only one who is good at reading people, nor is he the only one with darkness in his rearview, and their conversation, trading truths to get to know one another, proves that Reader is just as good at reading people she barely knows as he is. Must be a Fringeling skill. I love that the thing he fibs about is so innocuous and that he’s only trying to make it match what the rest of the world thinks of him - not because he cares, but because he likes defying preconceived notions. His reasoning behind building up his vocabulary is so perfect, as is the way this one ends. I won’t give it away, but I will keep my fingers crossed that you might possibly think about writing more for these characters!! ;) 

Brigand by @insomniamamma

Ezra (Prospect) x Female Reader 

WC - 2.9k

MY FAVORITE SPACERS ARE BACK! I just get tickled every time I see an update from the Prickle ‘verse... even when they’re dealing with stinky space durians. I know I have said this before in regards to this series/collection, but the worldbuilding is so LUSH and IMMERSIVE I always feel like I am right there in the thick of things. I love how gritty and real yet completely extraterrestrial it all is. I love that more often than not, Ezra, Artichoke & Cee are in grimey, dangerous or otherwise unpleasant situations, but I never leave without a smile on my face. This one was no different. I love the dynamic that exists between the three of them. Love that Ezra and Cee work like one seamless unit and that even though Artichoke is usually a step behind on that (not her fault, she’s the newest crew member after all) they try their best to catch her up. But sometimes after a day of sucking at pulling seeds from rotting fruits, you can’t catch up until you catch a few drinks, amirite, Arti? Going to a dive bar alone in a seedy space bench sounds exactly like the kind of trouble that she finds there, but one of my favorite things about her is that she leans hard into it, stands her ground even when it’s not the smartest thing to do. I wouldn’t be able to stand by and listen to what those sickos were saying, either, so I applaud her trying to put them in their place... even if it got her put in a not so great place, too. The interaction when Ezra shows up is so beautiful and genuine and really shows how much he cares for her not only as a part of their crew but as a person. I adore him, that’s no secret, but I adore him a little more every time he shows this side of himself. And Cee’s motivation for them showing up when they did had me snorting. She’s great. All three of them are great and I love them to the green moon and back again. 

Want To? by @dieterbravospr

Dieter Bravo x Female Reader 

WC - 3.5k 

I have been meaning to get into Irredeemable for a while now, so when I found this prequel one shot I thought well isn’t this the perfect place to start... even if it was written after the series got rolling. And I was right. This glimpse of Dieter is definitely in line with the way he portrays himself in canon. A little cold. No time for anything but what he wants. Thinking about ways to escape or score his next high whether its from drugs or adrenaline or both. But he’s not an outright bastard. He’s got rules and he sticks to them, even if he has no regard for other peoples’ rules. (like sleeping with married women.) I sort of get the feeling that he didn’t necessarily bite off more than he could chew here with Reader... more like he thought he was biting into kraft mac and cheese but instead it was lobster ravioli. Their little deal is very interesting and I am very much looking forward to seeing how it unfolds for them next time. And bless Reader’s assistant. Bless Dieter’s while we’re at it, they are going to need all the help they can get, I think. 

[team-heavenly]

Chapter 18

Decimeter’s Tower

...Ten centimeter’s tower? (Ngl I thought “Decimeter” was a Greek goddess for a second.)

This post is gonna be four parts... Somehow the image count is a little bit larger than Chapter 15, our heretofore longest post! Ooooo, look at me getting all fancy with the vocab 🧐

Find Part 2 here!

Find Part 3 here!

Find Part 4 here!

The title card flashed before our eyes as we approached the beach, so it took a few moments of blinking rapidly before our vision cleared. And we see...

No Togetic on the beach :( 

(Eeesh, sorry for the weird shading in the dialogue box on the next image... tablet shadows, amirite?)

How could you, hun? You didn’t even know the Precious Butte existed until a few days ago. 

(*after it was, not “we”. Sorry again.) 

So we can go whe- aw, forget it, I’m beating a dead Ponyta at this point.

A wild Lapras(?) appeared! 

Really? It’s unusual for... Pokémon who live in the sea to travel across it? 🤨

...Oh, you losers. 

Did they. Did they not hear the part where the world was gonna be paralyzed? They really think this is the time to f*ck around and find out? Okaaaay.

...WAIT... GROTLE IS LAPRAS...

JESUS GROTLE JESUS GROTLE!!

So now we see where Totodile ran off to! And, wonder of wonders, he has a connection to the Precious Butte, too. Small world, eh?

“Ahem! And so, as you’re all quite aware...” 

I’m not sure why we’re dropping the article in front of Guildmaster (“The Guildmaster”) throughout this chapter. Is it grammatically valid? Sure. But it just sounds a little strange to me.

Everyone: “........................”

(It was a funny moment, but I had to cut it out. This chapter is already way too long.)

Here, here!

...I was dreaming about spread sheets when I put together this textbox apparently.

So, anyway, yes! Time to crash the gentrified yurt!!

(I mean... come ON!)

The vicious Pokémon in question:

👀 Those?

Literally laughing at the idea that Mewtwo - idolized as the toughest Pokémon alive- could be scared of something. God, what a perfect replacement for Loudred.

Then Tropius is like: “...Funny story about that!”

This originally said, “They attacked with no warning out of nowhere.” Which... isn’t the clearest way to say this? So I tweaked it a lil’ hehe.

“Wait a second, Tropius.”

Yeah, that’s what I alluded to earlier!!

^Fixed that very obvious typo on Chunsoft’s part smh

Love that confidence, Tropius!

...Of course, they don’t know about...

Again, did they miss that part about the planet’s paralysis?

Honestly shocked tumblr let me fit in this many images, so I won’t push my luck any more and direct y’all to Part 2!