#what a good dude... thank you satan for being a real one

[ajaxxyy]

♡𝅼 ͡ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 ﹙18+﹚ ۟ ָ֢ ֹ

warnings • kissing, fluff, feathered, implied sex, homosexuality, mature (mild) content.

HUSKER • ANGEL DUST • ALASTOR

Hello! I brought a repost of my old post because it caused problems. I warn you that I don't know how to speak English very well, I'm fluent in Spanish and English, but I haven't mastered the second language very well. Hope you like it! Don't forget to follow me for more. Kisses! 💋

　　　　 　𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

He was the one who declared himself to you. You were drinking at the hotel bar and out of nowhere he started declaring himself, saying how much he loved you and that you were his reason for living.

He just didn't admit his feelings because of his pride. XD

When he's sad, he usually lies on your lap like a kitten.

He purrs when you pet him, regardless of the affection. Grrwaaar. woozy_face

He loves petting behind the ears, especially when you catch him by surprise.

You like rubbing against his fur, since he's quite fluffy and fuzzy.

He likes it when you treat him like a stuffed animal or a bed, because he curls you up with his wings.

He takes care of you when you get hurt. This is after cursing you a lot! "You're fucking idiot!!!"

Kisses and hugs good night? He loves.

When he has nightmares, he can't go back to sleep if you're not by his side.

He really likes oral caress... Uhhhh. 🤐

He doesn't say "I love you." He usually demonstrates this through kisses or hugs.

He's jealous of you with every other demon but Alastor.

God (or Satan?) help you when he's jealous.

　　　　 　𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

It was you who confessed your feelings to him. Well, as someone who suffered at the hands of someone else, Angel wasn't so confident and asked for time to think.

You understood and he felt a hint of admiration.

You can't date because of Valentino, but you date in secret with the support of Husk, Cherry and Charlie.

Angel really likes to bury her face in his chest and caress his ears.

He doesn't know how to assume his real personality with you, but he tries.

He likes your kisses, especially when they are long and hot.

He likes it when you hug him or hold him by the waist.

You sleep hugging each other. He wraps you around with four arms and buries your face in his fake breasts.

You and he tend to each other's injuries, since you're always getting into trouble.

You've already fought with Valentino physically, but ended up losing, since he's an overlord. You at least tried for Angel, and Angel felt guilty about it.

"Baby, you didn't have to fuck around for me..."

He cries in your arms after he returns from recording.

He is the pervert in the relationship, but when it comes down to it, he is the submissive one.

He likes cute nicknames, but prefers hot ones.

He's jealous of you, but he doesn't show it. Furthermore, he is full of insecurities because of (motherfucker) Valentino.

I feel sorry for his waistline when he's inspired for the day. 🥲

　　　　 　𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

Dude, what do you mean you fell in love with him?

Anyway, being aroace, I say that it's kind of difficult to fall in love. Alastor also found it difficult to fall in love with you, but the fact that you were the only one who got a sincere smile from him was undeniable.

It took a while for you to start dating, especially because Rádio Demon was really difficult to win over. It's good that he felt something for you thanks to your personality.

He who asked you to be date him, offering a ring and a deer heart. Romantic? I think so. XD

Bizarre gifts every day when you wake up. He will present you with anything that is pleasant in his eyes, be it dead rats or demon heads. Anyway, don't question it, just accept it, otherwise he'll get a little angry.

He will give you bloody rose bouquets on your dates. Occasionally there will be a heart in the middle, but it will end up eating for you.

He likes to see you smile. He says your smile is the most beautiful of all, except his; for him, his is magnificent.

Cute nicknames involving old music or radio? Perhaps.

When someone hurts you, he goes after the guy and makes his life hell. And when I say hell, it's not what you imagine, but worse. No one can hurt his dew.

He likes to have his ears petted and he likes it when you hold his horns, even though they are sensitive.

He doesn't show much affection in public, but he tries to stay close to you to keep you safe enough.

"Oh, my little deer, could you tell me what makes you so sad? Where is your sparkling smile?"

He sleeps with his eyes open, so you ended up giving him an eye patch so doesn't get scared in the middle of the night.

No sex. Do not even try.

[thrashkink-coven]

Being a Luciferian that originated on the right side and still works with Archangel Michael and others is such a trip sometimes. Michael is so fucking intimidating all the time. Like, I know we’re cool, but lord forfuckingbid we ever aren’t. He’s extremely kind and gentle but oh so fucking authoritative and powerful. Like you can just feel it stinging off of his eyes, you know how much strength he has and how willing he is to use it if necessary. The thing i love so much about the myth of Michael and Satan is that he was said to have been far weaker than Satan in fighting prowess, but his loyalty to God made him the victor in the end. So fucking cool and scary and COOL. The idea of a soldier so fucking committed to his crown that he will fight until death to honour his God is amazing.

(my) Lucifer and Michael have absolutely no problems with each other, although Michael is always very disciplined, committed to his purpose and doesn’t entertain any none sense, he still seems to appreciate something about Lucifer. He is a guardian of truth and light, regardless of what name it holds. He appreciates Lucifer’s affinity for knowledge, but knows very well that his knowledge can be used for destruction and “evil”. He knows that Lucifer has an incredibly important role to play, but that doesn’t mean he’ll entertain any of the shenanigans that come with it. In fact, he’s dedicated to managing those shenanigans so we can all enjoy the positive aspects of Lucifer’s light. Thanks, Michael.

I only really call upon Michael if I need some serious help with cleansing or protection. He’s the guy to call if you need to be kicked in the ass, staring a new and daunting project, trying to get fit. He is damn efficient at what he does and he doesn’t stop short. If you call upon Michael you better be damn prepared to get what you asked for.

As a Luciferian that embraces the left hand path I’ve always felt as though Michael looked at me as someone he always wants the best for, but he also may disagree with some of my methods. He’s never considered or treated me like I was one of those evils to be vanquished, but rather, he knows very well what ways I could improve myself and would purify me if he was given the opportunity. But he’s also aware of the inherent flaws of humanity and doesn’t force us to improve unless we ask him to.

In some hypothetical scenario where Lucifer and I broke up (don’t tell him I said this) Michael would definitely be the guy I’d call on for help. i appreciate him a lot and I am very grateful for all that he has ever helped me with. I love the role he plays as the ultimate older brother of all the other angels. He watches over them and ensures that they’re safe at all times. Ready and happy to lead his family towards truth and light.

I’m very happy he doesn’t hate me lol. It’s something I worried about a lot as a kid, but when I finally got the opportunity to get to know him I learned that he doesn’t really hate anyone. He’s so much more than just an angel to carry out violence against his unjust siblings, in fact I’d say that’s one of his least proud roles, something he doesn’t really enjoy doing. He is a protector of children and a reminder that strength should always be used to help those without it.

plus, in one of the only dreams I’ve ever had about him, his armor was magnificent. Michael is probably one of those dudes that you absolutely should not lust over but… he looked real good just saying.

[the0retically]

The Suckening #12: The Twilight Zone:

Thoughts and quotes below, a wild first half of the finale

- I’ve put this off for too long it’s time to do this

- Oh hi le frog

- God Condi and bizly having to switch accents is so funny it sounds SO WRONG CONDI CANT DO IT AND BIZLY IS JUST DOING HIS OWN VOICE

- Love that the plan hinges on Taylor launter??

- Shilo being so adamant about not punching Emizel but then just doing it, I love them

- But oh god shilo has to talk to Theo because he looks like emizel

- Love music coming up when they’re going over the plan and then immediately cutting out when Arthur said demons instead of dangs

- “I know you hit it off with Viv” “my homegirl yeah” ARTHUR??

- “Who is it?” “It’s me” “…alpha” I cannot believe this

- ARE YOU SERIOUS MRS TAYLOR LAUNTER HAS A HELICOPTER????? CHARLIES DEFEATED SIGH WAS SO FUNNY

- SHARKBOY GAUNTLET????? WHAT IS HAPPENING

- “Good boy” “…..” “HA I WAS GONNA SAY GOOD MAN”

- I shouldn’t be sad that emizel can’t actually talk to Theo

- Also it scares me every time charlie asks what phone they’re using

- “I already told him about the plan to change faces” “then WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS?” “I don’t know I forgot”

- “This is such a classic Theo move I love you” :((((((

- Awwww them all being so excited emizel is the phantom flipper is so fun

- Bizly losing his mind over the dangs new plan is so funny

- Forgot how Edwards voice sounded god

- THEY HAVE TO LEAVE THE ROOM? Oh god

- “You know the plan, to be yourself” oh god

- Emizel you’re doing so bad this is awful

- 6 different Edwards??

- Why have they heard about shilo?

- Oh god this whole scene is like playing in my head I can see it so clearly

- Chester Chesser is such a cool name

- Paul with the unseen one freaky little dude I like him

- Ok yeah I love Paul he’s so fun

- You know who I miss though? Grefgore :( where is my boy

- Chet is insane??? Oh my god. The energy here is unmatched. Love Charlie and Condi just immediately going into laughter

- God the audio design is incredible in this campaign, the overlapping voices for Charlie is so good I love it

- “People think I’m weak do you think I’m weak?” “…you say that out loud in front of everyone?” OH GOD

- Paul and Chet being Emizel’s buds is so on brand I love it

- RENWICK!!!!!!!! HES COMMENTING!!!

- Oh it’s masquerade breakers that are competing

- …….and deacon rounded them up

- Interact with the show???

- “If there’s any invisible around” SO SMART ARTHUR

- Paul?? Oh they’re like the cameras. That’s really cool

- It’s fortnite, it’s fucking fortnite. Ok Charlie ok

- “I’d like to start-“ “ok shilo” “crying”

- Arthur is so cool I love him

- Oh there are humans—oh god it’s the dangs yikes that’s horrible

- “But I am walking the same amount of time!” “No” “….yuh-huh!”

- Charlie’s manic laughter was so fun who does shilo see?

- FORTNITE BUILDER!

- Love that they just keep saying minecraft and Charlie is like nah it’s fortnite building

- “Fortnite vampire” thanks Charlie

- OH GOD BIZLY IS LOSING IT

- ARTHUR IS POPPING OFF LETS GOOO

- “Now you’ve met the real devil” HOLY SHIT???? ARTHUR??

- OH!!! THIS IS WHERE THE WINGS COME IN THIS IS SO COOL LETS GO ARTHUR

- A wolf you say? Oh god the squirrel

- 3 roll off in a row?? That’s epic

- Uhhhh shilo? Please be ok

- LETS GOOOOOOO SHILO

- HE HAS A FRIEND!!!!

- Grangle!! Love him

- “Can I talk to satan?” “I’m not a say no dm am I? Oh god” PLEASE WHAT A MOOD

- HELICOPTER!!!!!! THE LAUNTERS ARE HERE

- Bizly losing his mind when Chet started talking is perfect I love Chet so much

- WEYLIN TWINS TIME!!!!!

- I LOVE THEM!!!!!!! HI HI HI HI HI

- IM CRYING THIS ENTIRE ENCOUNTER WITH CHET AND EMIZEL IS HILARIOUS

- “Hands too fast can’t stop them” Everyone breaks down laughing

- WHAT???? WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH EDWARD AND EMIZEL RIGHT NOW

- THE HELICOPTER HITS THE BARRIER????? WHAT??

- HE DIED????? RIP TAYLOR OH MY GOD

- NO HE SURVIVED LETS GOOOOOO HES NOT EVEN INJURED!!!!!

- Oh, :( one of the old people. It’s the people who know about the masquerade

- “Can you take me home?” “Yeah I’ll take you home” oh I’m gonna sob

- “I just walk with him for a while” “and then what?” “I don’t know. I keep walking. I don’t know where to take him” “ok, just keep walking” “Ben can you tell me about your family or anything you like?” And he just pointed out a bird in the trees :(( NOW HIM AND SHILO ARE TALKING ABOUT BIRDS IM NOT OK

- :( I agree with bizly this is the saddest thing Charlie has ever done

- I get why bizly said this destroyed him because I agree Ben’s whole situation is so incredibly sad

- Gotta wait to do part 2 but that was a phenomenal first half of the finale I loved it!!

[mancer-in-the-abbey]

Been putting a bunch of smaller headcanons in a larger post that maybe one day will see the light of day. In the meantime uhh Ghouls as D&D classes GO

Dewdrop: That’s a rogue right there. Although there is a real argument to be made for fighter, I’m going with rogue. He’s got that kind of sass, you know? He’s also INCREDIBLY good at the things he’s proficient in (expertise anyone?) and has a massive chip on his shoulder. I’ve yet to meet a rogue that doesn’t have a chip on their shoulder.

Rain: Hard choice, but ima go with warlock. You think I’m joking, “ooh band about Satan has a warlock, who would have guessed,” but I think it would fit HELLA well with his whole deal. Despite stumbling in the beginning, dude has very good stage presence, although in a bit understated in comparison to the other highly charismatic ghouls, just like how Charisma being a Warlock’s main ability takes on a different form in comparison to other charisma casters. Also… Pact of the Fathomless? Tentacles? Writes itself, really.

Phantom/Aeon: It took some figuring out but I think Sorcerer fits best. Think about it, despite being shaky in his stage dynamic with the rest of the ghouls when he first started, he had such big stage presence right out of the gate with all his cool guitar tricks! That to me reads as someone who has such innate charisma that he’s able to keep up even when out of his depth. That to me reads like someone whose magic has always been a part of them and whose abilities stem from their willingness to fake it till you make it. He for SURE is a Sorcerer.

Aether: Oh come on. Anyone who knows about d&d knows Aether would be a cleric. That’s not even fair at that point. Twilight Cleric too, purely for the vibes of it. The whole point of rhythm guitar is to be the backbone on which the lead guitar’s melody can shine and the bass’s riff can keep pace! Support is what the cleric is all about! Also healing. Just. Cleric. Next question.

Cirrus: Fighter! Fighter! Fighter! Fuck yeah she’s a fighter, and she is having SO much fun! She is a woman that can kick your ass, make it look easy, and make you thank her for it. Her and Lus’s keys are such a key part of what keeps things running smoothly and you ALWAYS need at least one martial class person in your party if you want to make it. You just know she’s the one people go to to open the stuck lids when Aether isn’t around. You love to see it.

Cumulus: Tough call, but something in me says Paladin? She is SUCH a strong presence in the backing vocals, something non-charisma feels like a disservice. Not a bard though, she doesn’t actually show off that much on stage. And yeah, outside of the actual stage performances, she strikes me as the kind of person to have a strong moral code that she adheres to. She could definitely get herself a Paladin Oath through sheer force of will if she wanted.

Aurora: Okay this one was INCREDIBLY hard cause I don’t actually know that much about her. With that in mind, based purely on vibes? I honestly am feeling Wizard. She seems to exude a lot of excitement and eagerness which, to me, translates really well into curiosity. She is so incredibly interested in everything the surface world has to offer and that includes how magic functions differently from how it does in the Pit. It might take her some tries, but once she gets the basics she would be a MENACE of a spell caster. Maybe Bladesinger so she can learn cool spells and swing a sword at people simultaneously?

Sunshine: This might be a bit of a weird call but to me, Sunshine is a monk. Like, in shows she’ll sometimes be super high energy and sometimes go full unflappable, intimidating ghoul. It’s like step of the wind vs patient defense to me. Also, I think just very generally she has some great speed if you let her. That woman has a “can’t stop won’t stop” attitude, and isn’t that just the monk in a nutshell?

Swiss: Bard. I don’t even think I need to explain it but I’m gonna anyways. I mean, the multiple instrument proficiencies, being one of the main back-up singers, fuck man, that dude RULES his tiny stage of shame with an iron fist and every time he’s let off of it all hell breaks loose. Also, the Jack of All Trades feature is very in-line with how we as a fandom interpret his abilities as a multi-ghoul. He is literally good at everything! Bards are just like that! HE is just like that!

Mountain: Could you imagine if I just picked something like Barbarian? Could you imagine if I said Mountain “Forest Cryptid” Ghoul was a Ranger? Druid. Full stop.

[mysteriawrites]

Hi- I saw matchups were open- could request a matchup with one of the brothers from obey me? :)

I’m about 5’3, with dark brown and red hair, green eyes and I have a lot of freckles

I’m a Virgo and the stereotype fits me perfectly. Like, to a T. And ironically, I’m also a ENFP or ENFJ (it changes every time I take the test so 🤷‍♀️) I’m a very introverted extrovert and I love activities like going out dancing, but I also love sewing and reading

Im a hopeless romantic and really believe that there is one person for everyone.

My favorite foods are raspberry and chocolate flavored things and my dressing style is very academia (a mix of dark, light and romantic)

I can’t think of anything else, but I really like tarot cards and use them a lot.

Thank you!

Thank you so much for the request

🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

ASMODEUS!!!

This one was so bloody obvious for me it’s not even funny. Yall are so similar like two peas in a pod.

When you joined the exchange program Asmo hadn’t given you a second glance. You were just some human why should he care?

One night he was sneaking out for a party and you caught him. He was about to threaten you to keep your mouth shut, but that’s when you asked if you could join him.

He let you come as long as you keep your mouth shut. He wasn’t actually expecting to have a good time with you, but you’re actually pretty fun to be around.

He asked you out immediately like dude doesn’t beat around the bush. He did a cliche date to a cafe with roses.

Initially he figured this would be another fling just being all cutesy till he got bored, but he finds you actually quite cute and endearing. And you have similar interests too. And you make him outfits and sew his clothes so tenderly and holy shit he’s in love.

He’s mainly had flings so he’s not 100% sure how to be in a real relationship. At first he may start to distance himself, but you won’t let him get away from you that easily.

When he realizes that doesn’t work he starts to lay the romance on a bit thick because he’s afraid to lose you, but hou assure him that you that as much as you love romantic gestures all he really needs to do it be himself.

He chills out after that, but he’s still the avatar of love and lust.

He will take you out dancing a lot and no matter what you wear to him you’ll look like cinderella.

He has you do tarot readings for you everyday. He thinks it’s cool and believes in them wholeheartedly. Sometimes you have to calm him down if he gets a bad reading or he will spiral.

He will wear anything you make for him, but also give you some tips and suggestions for other works of yours to help you if you like.

He gifts you do many chocolates and roses because he knows you love them and also personal things like asking Satan for some book suggestions for you, or Beel what other snacks you might like, or asking mammon to get some magic tarot cards for you from one if his contacts.

He works very hard to make sure you know that you are loved.

He whole heartedly believes that you are his one true love.

[this-is-a-dystopian-parable]

okay okay OKAY YOOOOOOOO i watched it oh MAN that was a GOOD show. MAN. god does not answer because he is in all things and even our question is his answer gabriel delivering that last line BRO how do they come up with this shit duude dude. i love all of them . gabriel holy SHIT man are yall seing this shit WOW wow wow . that ending ? hello. the tree gabriel the tree the thing he did make up your OWN MIND HELLO. very good yes i like inspired very coherent thoughts thank you

WOOOOOOOOOO YEAHHH

Sooooo real. It's so fucking good. And so FUNNY TOO. GOD.

"They do each other harm in the dark" aaaaa "That they sent me is enough to make me disbelieve" aaaaa "I don't think he's out there, I think he's in here" aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

And giving Joseph a major character arc, him being so in love with Mary but so wrapped up in his own insecurities and trying to find any reason why he doesn't deserve this. And using the "let the father of the baby gather cherries" as PROOF that it's HIM whether it's his biological kid or not he's the FATHER he's the one they need. Both him and Gabriel doubt themselves and their place but what they see as their weaknesses aren't weak! They are valuable!!! And YEAH the way everything works out through Gabriel's choice. There isn't anyone who's going to do it for him, miracles are made by people making choices in the name of what they believe but it takes real people making real actions for miracles to happen... whether you believe in a great plan or not...

And the Man in Grey does such a good job in this. When you first see him he's taking the costume pieces out of the box that are later used for all the characters he plays??? Amazing. Every time he talks to Gabriel. The little interaction of him singing "Satan's power" while the sheep is singing gives me CHILLS.

The playwright's father was Protestant and his mother was Catholic and though he went to a Catholic church and sunday school he went with other family, like his parents didn't even go. They weren't super religious at home but insisted he was educated in it. And I think this kind of toying around with well-known Biblical stories, not just for some silly funny satire but to somehow make it MORE GUT-WRENCHING and put his own themes of faith in there is just. So cool and really shows off his respect for the topic & artistic integrity.

Anyways. I also have so many thoughts about this me and @helloladder have watched it like five times at this point.

[ieatkeyboard]

How the Demon Brothers react to Leviathan coming out as trans

I had a giant conversation with my friend about my Obey Me headcannons and found a picture of Leviathan smiling in cosplay and it all just clicked so hear ya go! Warnings: All fluff, MTF Leviathan ASMODEUS: Levi told him first. He figured Asmo would understand more. "So what's up!" Asmo asked with a smile. "I think I'm um...a trans girl. No I know I am. I uhh..Sorry." She explained starting to tear up. Asmo was taken aback but smiled. "OH, HONEYY!" He yelled as he took Levi in for a hug. "That's amazing! Can I do your makeup? Are you gonna grow out your hair?! We have to go shopping! I know a place with really cute clothes!" Levi nodded and hugged him back. That went better than she had expected. BEEL: He was on his way to the kitchen when he saw Leviathan and Asmo come through the door with a bunch of bags. "Where did you go?" He asked, stopping for a moment. "We went to the mall!" Asmo smiled. Levi started to get anxious as she tried to wipe her lipstick off. "Why are you wiping your lips? Is that lipstick?" Beel asked and Levi's heart felt to the floor. What was she supposed to say? Was he upset? What if h- "Is it flavoured? Why are you wiping it away?" Levi looked up, shocked. Asmo smiled and grabbed a small pink tube from one of the bags. "It's strawberry flavoured tinted chapstick!" "Oh. Cool." Beel smiled and went back to the kitchen. Levi asked Asmo to help explain it later and Beel hugged Levi immediatly. "You're the best sister ever" + BELPHIE: Levi told him not long after he told Beel "So, you're a girl? You still play games though right? Cool cool...Wanna hang out later?" MAMMON: He barged in, of course, and saw Levi braiding her extensions. "YO- Wait- WHERE DID THAT (hair) COME FROM?" he yelled and Levi quickly grabbed his wrist and pulled him into her room. "Shut up you moron! Everyone will hear you!" She whisper-yelled. "Okay okay! So what's all this for?" He asked. Levi hesitated than explained. "I'm a girl...Being a guy has always made me so...Insecure." She said, lowering her head. "..So you're a girl because being a dude didn't feel right?..That's really great. Don't tell the others but I'm proud of you, ya know? You're real strong and braver than most of us for being yourself." Mammon said. "Promise not to tell anyone else?" "Promise! You can count on your big bro!" They hugged and Mammon proceeded to ask for money. SATAN: Satan pulled Levi aside. "I wanted to ask you about something. You have extensions, have been wearing lipstick, and wince when referred to as our brother or a 'he', is there something wrong?" Levi gripped her hands and began to explain "I'm a girl.." "Mmm I figured. You showed signs of gender dysphoria your entire life. Are you happier now?" "Yeah, I feel a lot better about myself" "Good. Is there a name you'd rather be called or is Leviathan and Levi still fine?" "No I like my name" "Alright good. I'll always have your back and if someone bothers you about this, tell me, alright?" "Thank you.." LUCIFER: Levi was especially scared of telling Lucifer. The brothers threw a coming out party so that Levi could feel less alone. Lucifer came back from grocery shopping and set the bags down near the door when he noticed the lights were out. A sliver of light slithered from the dinning room door and he went to investigate. "Hello? Is- What is this?" He said to himself as he looked at the food on the table and the banner on the wall, reading "It's a..." He turned around to see Leviathan, wearing a dress, makeup and her hair in a high ponytail as she held onto an envelope. The rest of the brothers walked in and Leviathan handed Lucifer the envelope. "I've been meaning to tell you for a while now...But I didn't know how so the others offered to help." Lucifer nodded and took the note into his hand, unfolding and beginning to read it. "I'm a girl. I'm your sister" Lucifer looked up and hugged her. "I'm so proud of you...So..so proud of you, Levi" Levi began to cry and the brothers joined the hug. No matter what they'd always be family

[hazbincalifornia]

Game On

Chapter 63: The Pain Games commence.

Ao3 link

Striker was…

Well. Blitzo would be a liar if he didn’t admit that the guy’s confidence hadn’t been misplaced. He shoved his way through the competition in a way that Blitzo could certainly respect, even if it was a little rough at points, and watching him hogtie some leggy bitch was getting tucked into the mental spank bank, at least if he could catch a few minutes to jerk off anytime soon considering the whole ‘baby’ thing.

Honestly, though, the games themselves were an overall treat with a sea of muscular imps clearly enjoying showing off their stuff- he’d have to come back next year when he didn’t have a bun in the oven since they looked like a roaring good time, even if a few people got hauled off in stretchers. Especially then. (He saw more than one shoulder popped back in place, and he respected the kind of bitch who refused to get knocked down by one measly dislocation.) It wasn’t like a sinner game, where they got even bloodier but couldn’t actually die unless somebody hauled in angelic weaponry, it was real blood and guts from people who’d end up genuinely fucked at the end of it if they weren’t careful, which made it all the more exciting.

Stolas had kicked things off earlier, and Blitz noticed the glares from the crowd as the prince thanked them for providing food for the rest of Hell, but he’d mercifully avoided mentioning him per request, just wishing luck to everyone. Thank Satan for the small miracles. (He’d started to get cramps in his back, so, reluctant as he was to admit it, it was probably a good idea that he hadn’t thrown himself through the entire obstacle course. He’d be blessed if that would stop him from having a little fun with Striker later, though.)

Blitzo could still see him in his big box seat above the crowd- Stolas had offered a spare seat, but he’d prefer to hang with M+M for now. Millie knew the ins and outs of the contest better than anyone, even the guy who technically was running the show but mostly seemed like he was there to ogle at the hot sweaty dudes, and she could keep up a running commentary on about half of the participants that was extremely entertaining when inter-family rivalries came into the picture. (Not to mention, being down in the crowd meant he could get as many cheese-on-a-stick snacks as he wanted. By the end of the games, he was up to six. His stomach was probably going to hate him, but that was a later-Blitzo problem.)

Moxxie, for his part, mostly just winced at the worst of the bone and skull breaks, but at least Millie’s spun tales were entertaining enough to keep even him invested, although the schmaltzy way he watched her wave her hands around and mime crushing a skull had Blitzo gag a little. (Yeah, he’d just had that whole Thing with Stolas, but that was in private and also, shut up. Theirs was better, thank you very much. It had fucking a giant monster version of Stolas that had what felt like tentacle-things. Clearly superior.)

It wasn’t much of a surprise that Striker won, and his voice wasn’t even half-bad when he was crooning out a victory song, although admittedly Blitz was too engrossed in Millie’s current story about a blood feud between her sister and some bitch who’d gotten knocked out in the last round to pay it much attention. He patted his stomach as the baby wiggled again when Striker finished up, starting to cramp from sitting too long. She was clearly just restless for a chance to get a swing at him.

“You’ll get your shot, sweetie, promise. Daddy and you are gonna kick some ass together now and forever, you got that? We’ll get you out here someday, when you’re a moody teenager that needs to get shit out by busting some heads.” 

In response, he got a squirm that seemed to agree with him.

_____________

“Thought you might not show after I wiped the floor with everybody else,” Striker said, grin spread across his face as he cracked his neck. Blitzo stretched, shaking his head. Stolas was off somewhere preparing for the big show, and he could meet back up with him later. Millie and Moxxie were watching from the bleachers, and Loona had decided to emerge once Millie texted her what was going on. Potentially she just wanted to see her dad get his ass kicked, but hey, he was counting it as a positive. (Moxxie was still pouting a little, but the fact that Blitzo had been able to scoop him up in proof that he was feeling fine had seemingly been enough, along with Millie insisting that she ‘wanted to see’.) 

“Nah, seeing you kick all those asses just got me all hot and ready, so as long as Mr. Big Champion doesn’t mind showing me his stuff-”

“Game on.” Striker whistled before nodding over to the mud. Flecks of it still clung to his jacket from the first go-round, flaking off bit by bit as they moved towards it together. He smelled like sweat, adrenaline, and something reminiscent of fire- which was probably the horse, honestly- and Blitzo cracked his knuckles and shifted his hips. Was he going to regret this later? Probably. But the baby had the spell around ‘em and he wanted to try his luck with at least one of the games. “First one on top for five seconds?”

“Works for me.” Blitzo nodded as Striker held out a hand, taking it-

-And slamming back into the mud as the other imp twisted his arm and swept underneath his legs. It splashed up around him, splattering his ass and thighs as well as halfway up his back while Blitzo bared his teeth. A hiss escaped before his tail snaked up around the cowboy’s ankle, yanking at Striker so the front of gray boots hit the ground as he threw himself forward. Reaching for Striker’s hands, their fingers interlocked as they pressed against each other, both on their knees and hands shaking as Striker’s sharp claws dug into the flesh of his palms.

The heart gave him enough of an energy burst that he practically felt like the version of himself from six months ago, save the bulky lead weight strapped to his middle. Saliva dripped down the side of Striker’s mouth as he attempted to twist him, but Blitzo’s heels dug into the mud as he resisted, arms shaking from the exertion. He was not going to go down that easily.

Striker flashed a grin that was all teeth. “Feisty, huh?”

“You know it, bitch.” Blitzo tried to hook his tail around Striker’s calves, but lost his balance just long enough for the other to shove him back, splashing down again. The baby wriggled uncomfortably as Striker’s fingers slid under his suspenders and curled briefly into fists, getting a good grip in order to shove him further against the mud and ground underneath, knuckles firm against the skin and pressing into the meat of his chest.

���Looks like you’re all bark, no bite.”

“C’mon! Kick his ass, Blitz!” Millie called out as Loona whistled something that sounded encouraging. Striker glanced up at them just long enough for Blitz to kick a leg up, hooking it around Striker’s and spinning them around at the same time he thrust himself up so he was on top. Bingo.

“Nah, just dealing with the extra weight. What’s your excuse, cowboy?”

Striker twisted himself hard at that, and they rolled around in the mud in another full rotation before Blitzo managed to get a good hold on him again, this time bracing himself and refusing to budge. The pinned imp snarled, but Blitzo leaned forward, heavy belly almost (but not quite, red glow barely visible under the Wrathian sun) pressing against the flat stomach and heels pressing the knees of his jeans into the mud, so even when Striker squirmed he wasn't going anywhere. Three, four…

On five, Striker narrowed his eyes but rattled his tail, giving a half-smile through gritted teeth with narrowed eyes. “Not half-bad for a bred bitch.” 

“And not half-bad for somebody wearing fringe,” Blitzo retorted, offering up a hand that fell as Striker shoved himself up by himself. He glanced over at the trio on the bleachers- Moxxie had a hand gripping his heart through his little vest, Millie was clapping, and Loona had cocked her head to the side, with a smile that could just be a reflection of the light. To the side of the bleachers however… red glowing eyes. He huffed out a breath. Fuck.

Striker clapped a hand on his back hard enough to make him stumble. “I’ll meet you up later for that dessert.”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll probably be back at Millie’s folk's house for dinner.” Blitzo said, nodding at him. “I only wish I could have done the whole thing, even if little miss boulder-bitch in here would have probably objected.”

Striker just nodded back before sauntering off towards the starting line, and Blitzo turned back to his others.

“That was-” Moxxie started, before Mille bumped him with her hip.

“-Awesome!” She jumped up, vaulting over the seats in front of her to pull him into a hug as Loona’s ear twitched. “Damn, I don’t think even Mama would have been able to do that when she was this close to popping!”

“Yeah, well-”

“Very impressive.” Stolas’s voice dripped from above him like warm wine and Blitzo turned up to look at him as the other two leaned in closer to him.

“Look, I know what you said about it being a bad idea-”

“Oh, on one hand, I cannot believe that you risked our child’s life on a reckless whim. On the other… well, I can’t say that you didn’t handle yourself perfectly well out there.” He cupped a hand on Blitzo’s cheek, kneeling down in front of him so they could see eye-to-eye. “That was the one who won the games, wasn’t it?”

“Er, yes. Pretty tough fucker too. How long were you watching, anyway?”

“Your highness-” Moxxie started, but Stolas swished his tail, ignoring him.

“And you beat him.” 

 “Yep.”

“Fascinating.” Blitzo could both hear and see the way that Stolas’s words were melted with something familiar that he would, frankly, rather M+M and his daughter not bear public witness to. Loona muffled a little snicker, and he swatted away the dotting of flush on his cheeks from the hot sun.

“So yeah, I’m totally kickass. Booyah, bitch- hey!”

Stoles scooped him up like he was a sack of post-sex shed feathers. “We are going back to the cabin, and we are going to change your clothes before I have to head out for the ceremony.” He spoke firmly, and Blitzo could feel the mud starting to soak into his fancy royal shirt, as well as the twitch between his legs from the casual but authoritative tone of voice.  

“Hey, let him-” Millie started, but Blitzo waved a hand.

“Nah, it’s fine, Mills. I can handle this. I was a pretty bad boy.” His tail swayed as Stolas set a hand on his stomach, before sagging a little in relief as it moved beneath his palm.

“Thank goodness, she’s fine in there. As entertaining as it was, please don’t do that again, darling, my poor heart won’t be able to take it.”

“Hey, in my defense, I’ve probably only got a few days left to even try. I’m getting my last kicks in before she’s your problem too, and she's still got Daddy protecting her up close and personal.”

“Oh, I’ll be delighted when I get to deal with both of you.”

"Hey, you're the one who asked for this. Really, it's all your fault." Blitz flashed a grin, and Stolas made a little 'hmm'-ing noise even as he lifted Blitzo higher in his arms. He waved open a portal with a flick of his wrists before stepping through, and a shudder ran through Blitzo's spine at the magic sliding through his body in the process. It was easy enough to lean up into a kiss as the portal snapped shut, even from his slightly-awkward position, and Stolas murmured something in between breaths. Blitzo didn't hear whatever it was through the ringing in his head, and Stolas cleared his throat and tried again.

"What am I going to do with you?"

There was just enough soft affection in the owl’s tone that Blitzo’s response rolled off the tongue automatically.

"Be stuck with me?" He stretched the grin a touch further, and Stolas gave a little huff before adjusting him in his arms and pecking another kiss on his lips in reply.

[starlit-miasmas]

good omens season 2 is real and im even more insane than the previous post. Fuck, Dude. ep4-6 thoughts and spoilers under the cut <3 a bit less than coherent

EP4 zira named the bentley "lesi".. or maybe its always been named lesi and crowley just never uses its name.

"you don't seem [crowley's] type at all" you'd be surprised! they've been in love since the Beginning :)

oh shit i just realized the crank crowley uses to wind up the stars is the same as the thing he has at the end of s1 when they're facing off satan. i have no idea what the thing actually is? but they look the same!

also back at the blitz ayy. hell really sent nazi zombies after them to find out if they're """fraternizing"""

love them just casually driving through burning buildings, and zira with the 🥰 face

zira's magician career, failing for over a hundred years. both instances we've been shown have involved guns i think! incredibly funny of zira to be the one between them with a firearms license.

"no need to thank me, that's what...friends...are for!" what if i died. accept that you're friends. dude just walked into a church for you!!

everyone's just ignoring the literal zombies walking around. i mean, what would you Actually do if you saw dead people walking around. it's like that one guy who didn't know if he should point out crowley's car was on fire in s1

"you need someone you can really trust to pull off this trick!" crowley going like 🤨 . i love them. trust <333

zira has such bad stage presence. im sorry to say it but its true. hes so bad at it.

the whole shooting scene was so tense my bones hurted. crowley why'd you agree to this when you don't know how to use a gun 😭

love that furfur(??)s reasoning that clearly they're in cahoots was that the trick needs someone you can trust

"shall we retire the act?" and then warlocks birthday party. cant believe they gave ziras shitty magician skills lore

"i knew youd come through for me. you always do. " "well, you said 'trust me'" "and you did :)" i love them so much. almost as much as they love each other!

"maybe there is something to be said for...shades of grey?" is this an innuendo. i know theyre talking about moral ambiguity. but.

watched this w my family and called this scene gay. they were literally drinking wine by candlelight with just the two of them. my dad said "they're just friends" im gonna sob.

EP5 idk if i said it in the last post but why does crowley bother to keep driving back and forth, just move in with your boyf already you know you want to.

zira willfully giving away books thats how you know the end times are upon us

how the fuck is hell understaffed. only 70 demons willing to do battle??? damn!

i love crowley just sauntering around in the back while ziras doing business, he j like me fr.

crying they finally got properly asked if they're dating. crowley having Thoughts and Realizations about it...

the demon that keeps asking questions is an excellent audience member. winning the participation points.

crowley getting mad at jim and protective over zira ❤️ window was a bit far, but damn go off. crowley doing a nice deed and then "no one will ever believe you"ing jim. of course he would

the ball is so offputting, the way everyone just falls into their roles and the ""seamstress"" cant say her actual job. terrifying. bad vibes .

crowley telling nina to trust somebody for once in her life while pointing to the shop of the only being he's ever trusted..... feelings

and oh fuck its the 1/75th of a legion of hell

crowley yelling at them that they are out of order is great. i love zira and crowley telling the angels + demons how things are done around here.

the greenish light outside the windows is excellent ambience. i love jims jacket its so ostentatious.

ZIRA DRAGGING CROWLEY TO THE DANCE FLOOR HELL YEAH!! i love banter argument dancing.

jim is a fool. the selflessness is appreciated though! albeit ultimately useless. where did he get the coat its fanatastic.

crowley just bullshitting bureaucratic nonsense at them, he's great.

shax has great hair in this scene though.

"why don't you make your own plans" "it makes [crowley] so happy to save me :)" theyre so silly.

meanwhile crowley getting himself "arrested":

EP6 oh good lord we're really in it now

zira having battery operated candles and the bajillion fire extinguishers.....bookshop burning down done left its mark

crowley's heaven fit is great. the gold snake tattoo is a neat touch

maggie flipping off the demons was absolutely iconic of her but oh balls you really gotta think about your wording at a time like this 😭

not a fan of the minor employment of the "i grew up with brothers so im a bad bitch" trope but ehhhhhhh

poor muriel they got crowley scheme'd 😔 i love muriel they're just doing their best, ok, and thats enough :)

magnus archives reference: why do fire extinguishers keep working against the supernatural! pretty convenient for them ig

zira Is crowleys emotional support angel, thank u very much. crowley is zira's emotional support demon too ❤️

gabriel got yoiten! bro got fired because he realized he wanted armageddon't not armageddo. it Is, in fact, an Institutional Problem.

did not expect halos to be functionally the same as bombs but i havent read the bible in years, what do i know

love crowley hearing ziras done something and immediately zooping back.

i love crowley just scolding everyone for being idiots, how is he the one with the braincell.

"if we do a miracle together it all works too well" YEAH what they thought was a teeny half miracle on each of their parts was apparently strong enough to be mistaken for a fucking archangel??? the power of love!!

and then the unexpected ineffable bureaucracy win???? i thought the fly was just beez snooping about at first but No it was gabriel being gaybriel and storing his entire being in a gift from beez.

angels and demons surreptitiously meeting up for meals has always been the answer. except ineffable bureaucracy dont actually eat but its the sentiment that counts :D

gabe deciding he likes 'everyday' just because beez likes it and then that being the only thing he remembers solidly when he's not actively straining his brain??? im so soft.

in a second stunning act of homoblindness my dad asked "why do they keep meeting up 🤨" to this montage. truly a bruh moment

gabe miracling the jukebox to always play beez's favorite song..... bro is down bad. the whole ineffable bureaucracy montage was SO FUCKING SWEET i love them so much i didnt expect to come out of this as an ineffable bureaucracy truther but im glad i did

"something that mattered more to me than choosing sides" 😭 theyre holding hands .............

and then the family-dinnercore bickering match 💀 none of these mfs are mature. love zira scolding them. ineffable husbands rly flexing their parenting muscles this season

"wherever beezlebub is, is my heaven" "and wherever you are, is my hell" this hurts so much against the ineffable husbands finale but we'll get there. and then they vanish off to loveland or something ❤️ happy for them, im glad at least two people got a happy ending out of this. they chose the side of love ❤️

and then uh. Fucking Metatron. fuck. the ominous music when they go out on their Stroll.

so soft for the scene with crowley putting everything back in order in the bookshop. domestic as hell. the soft music. crowley just knowing how everything is Supposed to be. <3

nina and maggie come to make ineffable husbands get their shit together! love nina calling maggie 'angel', sure wonder where she got that from..

the boys are gonna talk about their feelings?! no. no they aren't, actually. everything's gonna go to shit instead. god i cannot put my feelings on this scene into anything coherent. i am in pain.

because its always been crowley advocating for Their Side and zira's believed heaven is Absolute Good and shit and of course that's what takes them apart 😭 because fucking TRAGEDIES and the narrative is out for these fuckers.

zira please 😭 its you two on earth, you two together on Your Side. not you two ruling heaven together 😭 in shambles. suffering.

i didnt actually absorb crowleys confession enough because the brain was melting into jello but fuck dude.

NO MORE NIGHTINGALES. THE KISS. ZIRA TOUCHING HIS FACE AFTER. FUCK! it was a win for TWO SECONDS. 😭

LOVE LOST. THANK YOU AND GOODNIGHT.

[leviathancries]

tragic love songs to study to (vol. 5)

[DUCKBOY] (2023)

Tragic Love Songs To Study To is Ruby da Cherry (from $uicideboy$) newest solo project. Going by the name DUCKBOY for this album adding to his ever-growing list of aliases. Personally something I have been waiting for, for a long fucking time. Ruby (DUCKBOY) managed to tap into his roots in punk and created this mini album. Much to the upset of most of his zoomer iPad baby fanbase who only want KILL MYSELF! DRUGS! SATAN!!! music.

Track 1: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"You may hang up or press 1 for more options"

To be honest as an intro track I have heard better, It does set a pretty good (dial)tone for the theme of the album. (people bothering him and trying to call him)

Track 2: ROUGAROU (i've become the monster

"Let's pull back the tide and see if the moon is dead!"

ROUGAROU starts off the album strong with that signature 2000's emo pop-punk vibe. I'm a huge fan of Ruby in general but I feel on songs like this his potential as an artist shines best. His style of singing is so suited to this type of song and it's a shame he hasn't made music like this sooner lol. (yeah before you try and be a smart ass I have listened to his punk shit from his old bands, ur not cool for knowing that) Also the hook of the song is so fucking catchy it's been stuck in my head since the album came out. "I HAVE ALL NIGHT TO HUNT, I PROMICE TO PROTECT YOU WITH MY CURSE!" insane.

Track 3: where y'at, duckboy?

"Oh my god, call me ASAP..."

Interesting choice to put an interlude as the 3rd track on the album, but it is only a 7 song album so I guess it is more forgivable. That being said I actually really like this song. It carries on with the theme of people calling Ruby and bothering him. The simple hip-hop trap beat with that smooth bass kinda fucks to be honest.

Track 4: XXL hadron collider

"I ain't crying over spilt milk, but who's gonna clean this mess?"

Track four thrusts us right back in that 2000s emo mindset. Singing about suicide and betrayal has never been so cool to be honest. This is probably my favorite song on the album solely because it has such a nostalgic sound to it. This song just reminds me of being super young watching AMV's on YouTube in 2008. Like listen to this song and tell me this doesn't remind you of that. And again Ruby flexes on us with his talent of writing catchy hooks. Also the vocal style switch up between verse one and two is unmatched.

Track 5: ​my love life needs a lobotomy

"I spent the whole night throwing up your spiiit!"

Track four and five seamlessly flow into one another. I mean the song is only 41 seconds so it's pretty much just verse three of track four separated into it's own track. BUT IT'S A FUCKING GOOD SONG DAMNIT! like really fucking good. Not really much else to say about this one.

Track 6: where y’at, duckboy​?? "Call me back dawg..."

Another interlude. More voicemails. More chill-hop beats. If I had to compare this one to the other interlude I prefer the other one. Although the girl who says "Thank you" at the end sounds cute :3

Track 7: ​after further reasoning, i’m going to bed

"I'll live as long as my little lungs last!"

Last track of the album. Track seven is another pop-punk song, using catchy guitar riffs and upbeat drums. Ruby shows off his versatile voice on this song using different vocal styles and a good variety of pitch. Homeboy went crazy not gonna lie. Another memorable song IMO. Just another thing to add to my long, long list of good Ruby songs and verses.

Overview: tragic love songs to study to (vol. 5)

I know I was essentially throating Ruby in this review but what can I say? I love the dude. He's a huge inspiration for me. Personal opinions aside ill say the good and bad about the album as a whole.

It's fuckin' short. Like short as fuck. Like out of the 7 songs we have an intro and 2 interludes. That only leaves 4 actual songs, one of which is only 41 seconds long. That being said, the full songs on this album are fucking amazing. Like really, really good. If you are into 2000s pop-punk, emo nostalgia shit. Check this out. The songs are super catchy, well produced and well written. This album has been a long time coming since Ruby has hinted at a solo project for years and I'm hoping for more in the future!

Rating: 8/10

If there's any typos or inconsistencies in this review it's because I can't be bothered to proof read it.

[beyond-dusk]

Paranormal Lockdown - S3E4

I figured since I've already done posts featuring Buzzfeed Unsolved and Ghost Adventures, I figured I would keep the ball rolling and find other shows that investigate Bobby Mackeys.

As a side note, to keep things brief I cherry pick the moments I can discuss using established facts. I don't like spending time making fun of people like this when they pretend to feel a ghost in the room, its just not worth it.

---

Oh my god! I looked for a picture of the rooftop to help identify the different additions to the buildings over the years but I couldn't find a good picture. I should have watched these ghost shows as a visual reference!

---

So it turns out that one of the men who was on the Ghost Adventures episode covering BM's is the host for Paranormal Lockdown. Not only that, it was the was the dude who said that a spirit that followed him home after the hunt ruined his marriage. Ghost Divorce.

---

I do want to thank this show for not bringing up satanism when they first introduce the story of Pearl Bryan. They did slip up by saying the murder followed a botched abortion, which Scott Jackson planned to do, but it never actually happened (the coroner made note that there was no trauma beyond her decapitation and cut hand, and that her baby was healthy when she died).

---

"But as Nick and Katrina dug deeper, they found that the facts of Pearl Bryan's death may conflict with the rumors."

Wait so they ACTUALLY did research? Is this going to be a nice post and not me getting angry over dumb satanic rumors???

---

So this nice looking gentleman is said to have done extensive research in to Pearl Bryan's murder and I'm already in love (intellectually, though if I was 40 years older...). They don't show much of what he says but now I'm determined to find a way to contact him to compare notes.

---

So they clearly establish that there is no factual basis for Pearl Bryan's head being thrown down the well! I only used that idea as part of the Dusk comic to give the story a short plot, but in reality it's very, very, VERY unlikely that her head ever entered that building. My personal theory is that Jackson threw it into the Licking River like he did with her luggage.

---

So during the clips of the Ghost Adventures episodes, Bobby Mackey mostly talked about what he's heard happened at the club but he says he doesn't believe in ghosts. Here, he seems to say that he heard rumors of the building being haunted all the way back when he bought the building in 1978. This is the first time I've heard this and I'm intrigued.

---

OH MY GOD THIS WOULD HAVE MADE A GREAT PANEL IN THE COMIC. I NEED TO WATCH SHOWS LIKE THIS TO GET VISUALS

---

Okay, so I did make fun of this guy for blaming ghosts on his divorce, but I have to give him credit that he climbed into the fucking well and looked around inside it. I don't believe its a portal to hell but damn, its unnerving.

---

So this show did much, MUCH better dealing with the facts. Instead of interviewing some asshat author who claims Scott Jackson was a satanist and killed Pearl Bryan as a sacrifice, they met a real historian and asked him about the case. I learned that there were already rumors of the building being haunted before Bobby Mackey took over and that makes me happy.

Nick Groff, I'm going to stop making fun of you for your ghost divorce. You went back and dispelled some of the rumors and I always give people who do that credit.

[wynnyfryd]

@infinitetrashbag this is in fact option Z and it’s FUCKIN INCREDIBLE. like iMAGINE eddie’s absolute fear and panic at climbing through a weird slimy eldritch birth canal in the roots of a tree and then being immediately attacked by a demogorgon.

also, don’t worry about steve staying pissed off at him- the demogorgon chased them so far into the woods that they can’t find the portal again so they’ll have plenty of time to kiss and make up 😇

3 hours of fuming prickly silence later eddie’s like “okay, so… so you actually are stuck in a time loop.”

“yes!! like i’ve been telling you for—”

“harrington, deserved though your angry ranting may be, fuckin spare me for a second i think i’m onto something.”

“…did you just say deserved with three syllables?”

eddie’s nostrils twitch, one dimple peeking through a barely repressed smirk. “mayhaps.”

“oh, jesus christ,” steve mumbles up to the trees. his fists clench in his hair, tugging hard at his temples. “i’m trapped in hell with a liar and a nerd.”

well, fuck. “please tell me this isn’t hell.”

“i mean—”

“like actual factual capital H Hell? Christian Hell? because wayne’s gonna gloat so hard if this shit is real. goddammit.” he whirls himself around in a frustrated little circle, pent up energy spiraling in his veins like a gathering tornado. wayne’s gonna put another stupid fucking cross up on the wall over this. the big cast iron one. son of a bitch.

“who’s wayne?” steve asks.

really? that’s your question? “my uncle. now can you please tell me whether or not we just crawled through a tree vag and got spat out in satan’s asshole?”

steve blinks at him. seems to stall out entirely, the gears almost audibly grinding in his head. “well, that was… vivid.”

“thank you.” at least someone appreciates his bardic talents.

“you’re so not welcome, dude,” steve says, face pinched like he just bit into something rotten. “the words tree vag are going to haunt me for the rest of my life.”

“well hey, at least your life is only a day long!” eddie jokes, smiling wide and sarcastic.

steve glares.

eddie clears his throat. sobers. “right, um. so-” he rubs at the back of his neck. “insensitive quips aside, do you, uh… do you end up here every day?”

“huh?” steve’s arms are crossed over his chest, expression stormy.

“in the loop. do you usually end up here?”

“not if i can avoid it.” something haunted flashes across his eyes, and yeah, eddie doesn’t blame him for skipping over the as-yet-unspecified demon realm portion of his repetitive eternity. jesus. how many days has he been in here for?

eddie stares out into the distance, murky through the dank, dark air, the blackened tentacles that snake over the trees. “so i’m thinking, like… well, firstly i’m thinking i was a dick to you and i’m sorry for that” —steve says nothing, but he gives a sort of begrudgingly amused huff that makes eddie feel like he’s close to winning his good graces again soon— “and secondly, i’m thinking, like. maybe this is it. maybe we have to do something here. to break you out of the time trap you’re in.”

steve throws his arms up, rolls his eyes, and shouts, “great! just great. so what? we’ll just, like, casually commit some kind of time heist to free ourselves?”

oh, baby. give eddie a tool kit and he’ll show you a heist. excitement licks up his spine at the thought — sticking to the shadows, the thrill of a lock giving juuust right — and then he remembers where they are and the little flame gets doused by a 10 gallon bucket of ice. “you’re sure we’re not in capital-h Hell?” he asks, nervously biting at his thumb.

“yes, munson. i’m sure. whatever this is, it’s- i mean, i don’t know what it is, exactly, but it’s something else.” steve meets his gaze head on, intense and overwhelmingly sincere.

eddie nods. “okay. then i want to help.”

Eddie liked to joke sometimes to his friends.

"how's the time loop today, pass that test finally?"

"Jeff, stop using the time loop to ask out Heather she's not gonna date you."

"No matter how many times you see the twist of this campaign no time loop will stop your demise."

Never in a million years he ever thought he'd be looking at one Steve Harrington and hearing him ask.

"Are you in a time loop too?"

[ethereal-writes]

Human References in the Devildom

I’m not sure whether or not I headcanon that human media is common in the Devildom, but I’m very into the idea of MC making human world references and the demon brothers having absolutely no idea what they’re talking about.

Lucifer: Please excuse me, I need to make a call.

Mammon: Who ya gonna call?

MC: GHOST BUSTERS!

Levi: MC what?

Satan: MC, what day is it today?

MC: It's Wednesday, my dudes!

Satan: What 'dudes'? It's just me.

Lucifer: Ugh, road work ahead.

MC: I sure hope it does!

Lucifer: What? No, MC. It means there's construction.

Adding on to that, Solomon being the only one who understands the references. I'm 99 percent sure that his Devilgram username (monSOLO) is a reference to Star Wars, so he can't be THAT behind on pop culture.

Lucifer, making Levi hang a painting: Okay, slide to the left.

Levi: *moves painting*

Lucifer: Hm. Slide to the right.

MC: CRISS CROSS!

Solomon: CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH!

The demon brothers are wondering how MC and Solomon have so many inside jokes, but finally realize they're human world pop culture references.

If they’d realized this the first week of the exchange program, they probably wouldn’t have cared, but by this point, they’re a few months into this ordeal, and they’ve all fallen in love with you.

As a group, they decide that in an attempt to get closer to you, they should learn more human world references.

The results are...chaotic.

Lucifer came across the term “Ok, boomer” and proceeds to use it completely wrong. He understands that it’s a diss on a generation but doesn’t understand that it’s against a specific generation.

Levi: So, if something slaps, that means it’s good. Like, if a movie is really good, it slaps. Make sense?

Lucifer: Ok, boomer.

Mammon starts Naruto running all over the HOL. Satan and Belphie see how much it annoys Lucifer and they start doing it too. Beel picks it up from Belphie, Levi starts doing it too because of course he does and Asmodeus just starts doing it for funsies.

Then they start doing it at RAD. I imagine the seven lords have quite the influence over everyone, so now the WHOLE SCHOOL is doing it. Lucifer was about to speak to Diavlo about putting a ban on Naruto running, but he couldn’t catch him.

Levi was probably the most knowledgeable about human world memes to begin with (granted, that still wasn’t much) but decides to delve even deeper.

Levi: *sees literally anything purple*

Levi: It's the man behind the slaughter!

MC: Anyway, I finally got this character I’ve been wanting since I started the game-

Levi: So, he’s like your Raymond then?

Satan decided he wanted to be a little more sophisticated in his approach, so he watched movies that the meme community satan what deemed classics.

What he didn’t realize was that classic meme movies and classic classic movies were very different things.

MC: Satan? Why are you following thirty feet behind me?

Satan: It’s romantic.

(no it’s not don’t follow twilights example pls)

Asmo fell really deep into human music. He definitely listens to Taylor Swift, but now he’s quoting her every single conversation.

Lucifer: Asmo, you have twelve overdue assignments.

Asmo: Haters gonna hate.

Beel recruited Levi to make the TV pick up human world channels, and watches shows while he’s eating.

He’s mostly watching cooking shows, of course, but what he tends to remember are the commercials.

Lucifer: Beel, pizza is not a breakfast food.

Beel: If this pizza was on a bagel, I could eat pizza anytime.

Belphie ended up on the sofa watching TV with Beel, but when he got to pick he absolutely watched children’s TV instead. It didn’t require a lot of focus, so if he fell asleep it wouldn’t really matter.

He also wound up ordering things from the commercials.

Levi: My package from Akuzon is here!

Belphie: Nope, that’s mine.

Levi: What is it?

Belphie: They’re my Stompeez.

***

This post got kind of long, but I hope you enjoy my random rambling anyways!

Edit: UM I GUESS YOU DID ENJOY THE RANDOM RAMBLINGS THANK YOU FOR ALL THE NOTES! I GUESS I'LL MAKE MORE SINCE Y'ALL SEEM TO LIKE THEM.

-Ethereal

[sparkpuplikesdrawing]

Hello proshippers

Hewwo

Now, I have some "problematic" (yes the quote marks are there for a reason) ships myself, and most of the time I feel weirded out by the fact that I like it and that others like it.

But you know what?

You proshippers are so fucking cool and brave, and I truly mean that. You guys yell "fuck you" at the world and enjoy the stuff you like, not just the stuff that society tells you to like.

I would say some specific blogs of pro-shippers who are super nice and wonderful, except they'd probably be harassed, and I don't want that for them because they are amazing and wonderful.

Dude... p#d0philia and in*e$t are obviously not good in real life. We got that. We know this. But these are fictional characters. It does not negatively impact their existence because they don't exist. If you don't like it, don't look at it, simple as that, but don't tell someone to off themself or that they are gross and disgusting because... they think these two (or three or however many) characters are cute together?

Lil' sidenote thingy: IS EVERYONE GOING TO IGNORE ALL THE JOKES CIRCLING AROUND ALABAMA AND THE LAWS ABOUT MARRYING YOUR COUSINS?!? SO IT'S FUN TO JOKE ABOUT, BUT EWW SOMEONE LIKES IT IN FICTION AND SUDDENLY IT'S THIS IRREPREHENSIBLE ACT OF SATANISM?!?! BRUH-

If your blog is proship, proship-friendly, or proship-neutral, please reblog, because these people are getting harassed for liking stuff that isn't "morally right", when in reality, they're being girl-bosses and badasses and shit like that by not letting themselves and their interests be bound by the "moral laws of humanity".

And please for the love of God don't message me going "EW YOU SUPPORT THIS?!" dude just unfollow if you don't like it.

Update: Thank you guys for reblogging or liking this, it means a lot that you guys are helping spread the message. It hurts me physically to see antis threatening proshippers when they're just trying to enjoy things. (By physically, I mean that it makes me feel sick and my chest contracts, I literally cannot take it to see that happen) I won't mention their name (I don't want them targeted), but there is one proshipper that is probably one of the nicest people I've seen on Tumblr. I've interacted with them a lot, and their blog is one of the sweetest things on here, it's very calming. So, I hope that they know who they are, and that I appreciate and support them very much 💖🌹

[beef-brisket]

David jumped, and turned around.

David: Adam!? How the fuck is you're demonic, average ass up here!?

Adam: average?! Bitch, my ass is anything but average- just as your ex~

David growled: you fuck-

Adam: AND my mom is kinda a Seraphim- dumbass. So I have every right to be here. Probably more rights than you do.

Adam folded his arms and looked around. Fuck this brings back memories. And not many good ones.

Adam: I don't think you're meant to be here, Davorino.

David: Well, you can have this power back. We all know what you'll do. What you'll become. And I need it. I'm not letting anyone else get fooled by your bullshit. You may have been able to trick Lucifer, but you can't trick me. Or Heaven.

Adam: I didn't trick anyone-

David: I know your kind. Well, the demon part. That's your whole fucking deal! Eveything about you is made to get someone to fuck you! Your spit makes people horny! Y-your fucking eyes! I saw what you fucking did. Multiple times! You hypnotized Lucifer! I fucking saw it-!

Adam: I didn't mean to! I-i can control myself better!

David: oh? That's great. Seeing as you're FINALLY able to control the smidgen of power you currently have, why don't you just take the rest of it, hm?

Adam: oh... uh yeah, I will, thanks

David jumped and stood I front of the alter as Adam started to get closer.

David: I was being sarcastic! I won't let you have it! You had your turn, and you fucked it up! It's my turn! I can kill that fucking witch, I'll win Lucifer back! I'll save him from you! Then, I'll melt your soul in front of the entirety of Hell and Heaven! Your blood will paint the sky red, so every mortal soul can marvel at my power!

Adam: ...my bloods gold, dude.

David: ...what?

Adam: my blood. It's gold. Not red. If you're going to give me a monolog, you could at least get your facts right.

David: that's it. I'm done talking-

Adam: about time.

David: Shut. UP.

David turned towards the atler and began to chant. Adams heard those words before. There were what locked him away in the mountain and stripped his powers.

Adam could feel his power calling to him. Begging him.

He remembered all the demons he killed with his full power. All permanently. He ended all life on multiple rings. Even Satan begged for his life.

It was time to bring his bloodshed to Heaven. The real people who wronged him. Who caged him.

This angel was at the top of his list. He gets the honor to be Adams first permanent kill in Heaven. He dares even think of taking Lucifer away from him. He'll tear David's soul apart before he even utters his loves name again.

Adam will become the god he was born to be. And he'll keep Lucifer by his side. No one will touch him.

No one but Adam.

BOO

@fanofstuff01 BOO TO YOU TO BOOO

Happy spooky month! This is bullshit! I'm in pain and have a headache, so take this au, my beautiful online friends!

Dentist!Adam au.

He's a menace. He's not even a real dentist. He just walked into a random dental office and put on a uniform.

I feel sorry for whoever his patients are because fuck numbing- he just pulls out the fucking tooth. And it's usually the wrong tooth. So you have to go back.

He's the only dentist in this area, so good luck finding someone else.

You'll either get your teeth cleaned or he'll ride you- there's no in-between.

People honestly prefer having sex with him because he's actually really fucking hot. As you can guess, people really don't like it if he's in his working heads pace.

Penitent: I- uh- I'm here for 69ing-!

Adam: Sorry, babe, but that canine's gotta come out. Maybe next time~

He fucking eats the teeth. He's a fucked up tooth fairy. He doesn't make the rules.

Then Lucifer comes in. A monster hunter and collector of bones. Monster bones.

He hears about some creepy fuck taking people's teeth out, so he goes to see what's up.

He gets an appointment, but he doesn't let Adam touch him. He instantly knows what he is because he's got the sharpest fucking teeth.

Adam is instantly infatuated with this guy. He loves monster hunters. They taste great.

And Adam thinks this guy is going to be an easy kill because holy shit, this guy is so fucking small.

Lucifer doesn't reeeally want to kill Adam because even though he's creepy, he hasn't killed anyone. So, he finds the basement where Adam lives and ties him up.

Adam: ooh~, what are you going to do to me, Mr big, bad monster hunter~?

Lucifer: I'll going to take your head once I find a fucking person you've killed

Adam: take my head, huh? Oh, baby~, I'd rather take yours~. Allll night~.

Lucifer: ...

Did the real dentist fuck off or something lmao I'm loving this though.

Lucifer: Seriously?

Adam: Yeah, I see the outline from here big boy.~ I can take it.~

Lucifer: You eat people's teeth like potato chips.

Adam: Girls gotta eat babe.~

[howl-fantasies]

A/N - That's clearly what I'd do. I'm a simple woman. Something scares me, I burn it to the ground. 🙆🏻‍♀️

------- 1 New Message --------

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

Y/N! Answer your phone! I need immediate assistance!

Y/N

For what?

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

I think there's something in my mansion!

Y/N

Call Victor then, he's your hitman. I'm busy.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

NO! He wouldn't understand! THERE. IS. SOMETHING. IN. MY. MANSION.

Y/N

Why wouldn't he understand?

Vic is pretty binary when it comes to that: walk into the boss house -> die.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

I KNOW THAT STUPID WOMAN! But it's not a person who is breaking in! Well, not a consistent person at least.

Y/N

Oswald... How did Ed put this?

...

GHOSTS AREN'T REAL!

...

Take your pills and go to sleep.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

I KNOW WHAT I'VE SEEN Y/N

Y/N

Oh. And what did you saw? Your dad in a night robe, with a candle telling you nonsense again? Must be Ed in that case.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

Pretty low even from you harlot!

...

NO! I saw a white mist going through the walls, it's so cold my teeth are shaking and I have a feeling of oppression.

Y/N

Must be because of your paranoia dude.

...

What am I supposed to do then? Put my nicest priest robe, grab a cross and holy water and swing it in the air yelling "NOW GET OUT SPIRIT! THIS IS MY COMMAND!"

...

Stop watching films Oswald.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

Screw you woman! You'll probably burn if you touch a cross and holy water! Do you even know about a book called The Bible? Cause I'm pretty sure you're not following it. At all.

Y/N

Look who's talking. Dude I could even read ancient texts if I wanted since I fucking know Latin.

...

But it's not the subject and you're wasting my time.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

DON'T ABANDON ME NOW!

Y/N

Stob being a baby! If you're so afraid, go grab a bazooka or something and blow up the house, your ghost won't go through any wall after that.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

So that's your solution when you have a problem or are afraid of something?

Y/N

Yes. And it works pretty well. And no ghost ever dared to show its transparent face in front of me.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

That would be because you're the epitome of evil. Even Satan is too scared to recruit you.

Y/N

Dude. Go back to sleep, you're annoying.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

Not before my problem is solved woman!

Y/N

Ok. I'll send someone. He's a professional and will help you.

Oswald CRIPPLEPOT

THANKS, wasn't so difficult after all, uh?!

----------- End of message ----------

.

-------- 1 New Message --------

Y/N

Good evening Inspector, I'd like to fill out a complaint form.

Jim Gordon

Are you kidding me, Y/N?

Y/N

No, I really want to do it, the reason is to signal a disturbance of the peace of the night by a lunatic.

Jim Gordon

Is the law a joke to you? You are the lunatic! I should be the one to fill out a complaint form.

Y/N

No, it very useful at the moment. Please send an unit at Mister Cobblepot mansion. Poor dude is losing it and is ranting about a ghost haunting his house.

Jim Gordon

I refuse to take your complaint.

Y/N

Oh, I knew you would say that.

...

That's why I called the Commissioner before sending you a text. Poor thing was still so scared of Victor, that I just had to mention him to make him obey. He'll call you I think.

Jim Gordon

...

You're infuriating! How in hell did you knew about the legal procedures to follow when a cop rejected your complaint?

Y/N

Carmine wanted me to follow law classes while being under his command. Then I passed the bar examination with flying colors✌️. Got an incredibly beautiful degree to put on my fridge.

Jim Gordon

Your despicable.

Y/N

Have a nice spooky night with Oswald Ghostbblepot Jimbo 👻