#were up against it.......
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actually been listening to sea power so much lately that im listening to the disco elysium soundtrack and im like. Wait wheres the words. come back
#pers#they make for really really lovely game tracs and i love the atmosphere they give the game#but whatcha here for...whatcha here for again...........#were up against it.......#okay off to go do my spanish lesson and go play some aa. yay
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The exact opposite of being doomed by the narrative
I discovered this game while playing with a group of friends on Halloween, and I must say it was quiet immersive because we each wanted different things so we always had to argue together on what to do before the Voices would Took 3 days to complete a single run
#slay the princess#stp fanart#stp spoilers#stp princess#the long quiet#my art#artists on tumblr#i wanted to be friends with her so baaaddd but nooooo my friends wanted her dead aaaaarggh#and then when I got to choose how we should go about it we ended with the Prisoner#and we got chained up against the wall for the rest of eternity#and then noone trusted my judgement ever again after that#but I have zero regret i'm not stupid ofc we were going to get chained up#that's EXACTLY WHY i insisted on picking up the chains#the princess is chained and now we're chained#Relating to people : the art of bonding and making friends
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can't believe that skeleman has turned on us, and Halloween Prom is tomorrow.
(what a top-tier UM...we are about to be just totally obliterated in the absolute silliest way. what possible use could this power have outside of bringing us to the brink of utter holiday disaster.)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#unique magic posters#this was so unforseeable!#i hope malleus gets pumpkinified immediately and sebek has to carry him around on a little velvet cushion#i hope jade puts his plant knowledge to good use by being extremely judgy about the firmness of everyone's rind#i hope that everyone is still wearing their silly little hats as pumpkins#(i know they won't. but if we don't have hope we have nothing.)#and i'm still feeling like oogie's gotta show up later and menace jamil just by existing#perhaps we'll have to team up against him with the scullsman or something 👀#also just to get it out before being proven entirely wrong#my theory is still that he's from the past and we gotta teach him about the True Meaning of Halloween (aka candy and funtimes)#so he can go back to his own time and become the founder of modern-day candy and funtimes halloween or something#bootstrap paradox be damned#i could be entirely off-base but that's what i'm thinking right now#idk he just has the vibe of an old-timey boy to me#he's had the great misfortune of being born before there were hot topics where he could meet other jack skellington fanatics#too late for the black plague too early for the black parade 😔
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sleeping with plushes is humiliating because they're the biggest snitches on your fucked up sleep acrobatics. every night i go to bed with a plush critter in my arms and every morning i wake up and they've somehow migrated to face the wall in shame like this
#🐉#one time i woke up and they were all lined up against the wall like they were awaiting execution by firing squad
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When you spend 20 years attempting to bring down the child slavery, murdering, human trafficking exploitation ring that stole your childhood, murdered your friends, and killed countless innocents only to have them rebrand as 'Noble Freedom Fighters™' off-screen.
#rip zevran's crusade against the crows >:(#when people said they wanted to be crows they didn't want devs to make the faction nice so we won't feel bad or conflicted about it#people wanted to be conflicted! they wanted to see the faction in all its glitz and glamour - then see what it hid beneath all the mystique#choose to play as a crow that loves the life/hates it/is undecided/etc...#but i'm sorry i forgot that this game doesn't want to do 'role play' options my bad#i will not stand for this zevran erasure!!!#they set up a schism with zevran's da2 codex entry - with other crows joining him!#have the antivan crows faced with a threat that challenged their outlook on why they fight#have the talons be the one to sell out antiva! in exchange for allowing their business to resume (have it be a sneaky reveal!!!)#their work has purpose and order to it so the antaam might agree! they're like 'babys first ben-hassrath!'#have Crows look around at their own home - see the vendor they bought fruit from disappear or the smiling old lady now cowed by grief#then have them decide to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT#have a schism! have Zevran take in Crows who are unhappy - have them realize how shit the organization is!#boom! somewhat-noble freedom fighters! (they're doing their best okay)#if there were differences between different crow houses they needed to explain it better...let us talk to Lucanis! I want to know him :(#my art <3#dragon age#datv critical#datv spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#zevran arainai
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Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (2022—) 1.03 | 1.07
#interview with the vampire#iwtvedit#tvedit#loustat#iwtv#usergayppl#usermicky#tusermarissa#userveronika#cinemapix#userstream#mine#otp: face pressed up against your longing#they were just. so insane for this#the intimacy of it#barks like a dog bangs head on wall falls off stage and dies etc etc
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transmisogynists when they see cold hard data about how underrepresented tma people are: okay but what if we fudge the data, we need to cut out "overrepresented" groups, and redefine what tma means and... voila! see? no transmisogyny, honey :)))
#grem rambles#yes this is about the dropout thing#the crimes against stats and mental gymnastics ppl make to invalidate transfem concerns is insane#fact is less than 1% of dropout performers are transfem#and they showed up in less than 10% of the times tme trans people were included#thats there for some disproportionaility
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Tulli and I went on a rollercoaster yesterday.
#personal#my art#dumb#me#my legs were kinda too long for the coaster seat cuz my knees were pressed right up against the front seat#so i was getting fucking knocked and bruised around
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Okay but it's super interesting how
Din = Power = Ganondorf
Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda
Farore = Courage = Link.
Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.
Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.
And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.
Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.
Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.
Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.
They sit in perfect parallels to each other.
And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.
Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.
Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.
Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.
But the other direction?
Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.
And that's the very essence of the triforce.
#It's little details spread across the games like this that just makes it work so WELL it's SO COOL#They're all great at all parts of the triforce but they CHOOSE to focus on the path most meaningful to them#And that's literally reflected in their unique cycles of reincarnation isn't that just AMAZING#And that's why the team up is so important! If they were all working against each other they'd be locked spinning their wheels#If zelda and ganon teamed up link would immediately die and if link and ganon teamed up zelda would instantly perish#It's the link zelda team up that means ganon is the one who kicks it#Also the elemental thing was cool but they do jump around a bit. Like wind is there half the time#In botk the gerudo have lightning and the goron have fire. Farosh still has lightning tho and dinraal fire#In ss lanaryu was the lightning and faron had water like its all over the place thematically. And that's when it's only 3!#Don't even get me started on the 5/7 lots notankyu#But that's the most common group and it's also thematically accurate#Fire being the only one able to self perpetuate with fuel. Can be banked up again. Ice compresses with time but needs the right environment#Lightning go boom 👍 you can feel the static in the air but you don't know when/where it'll strike and then it's all over#Like fr it's hilarious zelda and ganon are playing the long game and link runs past eats all the pieces and while ganons yelling after him#Zelda checkmates his king. And nobody can prove she wasn't cheating because nobody was looking lmao#Ah the duality of metaphors#ANYWAY isn't that so neat???#Reason no.372 why rhoam was a terrible king he didn't just screw up he did it ✨thematically✨#If link had been allowed to run off and get dirty and if zelda was allowed to study her interest (like post kingdom fall FOR EXAMPLE)#They'd have won (like aoc) but nooooooo. I've already made a post (or 3) about it lmao I'll be quiet now#loz#legend of zelda#botw#triforce#loz link#the legend of zelda#zelda#loz botw#ganondorf#loz ganon
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(Silence. CARPENTER tries to rally HAYWARD's spirits. She's afraid she's going to lose him.)
"All three of us - we can all go on living, Hayward. Just like you said."
#the silt verses#tsv#sister carpenter#carpenter#james hayward#audio drama#horror podcast#artists on tumblr#listen all my tsv drawings so far have been vibes based so pls ignore the inconsistencies on here alfkdsj#namely: i know carpenter uses a rifle (opted against it visually)#and then i spent like half an hour looking at iv diagrams and idk how medical care is on a plane but. listen. I'm ignoring all that#let alone with a patient you were forced to heal after being held hostage LOL#(not putting hayward in a hospital gown for the finale. i'm not. so he gets his bloodied clothes)#anyway i (notoriously slow artist) rushed to get this out before the finale#they mean so much to me!!#(faulkner voice) jeez hayward how come you get to have a good relationship with paige AND carpenter in the final season#also if you follow my main the small detail of carpenter not letting go of hayward's hands in the beginning-#was my load bearing emotional support bit of the episode you know I had to include it#the way i spent forever trying to get carpenter's expression right only to last minute decide NOT to cover it up alfsdjk#id in alt text#pls lmk if there's anything in the description i should change!#i try to keep it short but I know I ramble#tw blood#tw eye strain
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There is a theory that the way children play serves as a means to simulate and prepare them for the tasks they'll take on as adults. So for all the narrative weight both Jinx and the story give the boxing machine at the arcade it would never have prepared her or the kids to take on Piltover.
What are the two things that Piltovans excel at over their Zaunite counterparts to keep the hierarchy? Weapons and technological development.
When you look at the way Piltovans invest in their children, they don't prioritize hand to hand/melee combat training. Piltovans focus on giving their children experiences in handling firearms, a pursuit that is both leisure sport for the wealthy and a key offense against dissenting Zaunites.
And from the show notes even Jayce, whose family occupies the upper middle class, was sent on educational excursions across Runeterra to explore the world and learn what it had to offer. Without Jayce's education abroad he would never have been inspired to pursue the concept hextech.
It's no wonder that the two figures that are set to be Piltover's biggest threats from Zaun are Jinx and Viktor, becasue they engaged in the same kinds of games and activities as their Piltovan counterparts.
Jinx didn't have an entire forest preserved to help her practice her sharpshooting like the high houses of Piltover, but she did excel in the few games at The Rift (the arcade) that built on her talents. She's the only Zaunite thus far who's long distance offensive is a strong counter to Piltover's forces.
Viktor couldn't travel the world like Jayce did, but for better or worse he managed to stumble into an opportunity to get real opportunity in research not offered to his peers through Singed. It was through that experience that Viktor knew to turn to Singed when he was at the end of his rope, and the consequences of that will be fully realized in season 2.
Ironically, the kind of skill the boxing game champions is only good for keeping other Zaunites in line. Vander's days of fighting Piltover were way behind him when we first met him, and Vi spends season 1 primarily fighting other Zaunites. It's no surprise the Zaunites who embody the old ideal of strength in Zaun that the game portrays, Vi and Vander, are largely at the mercy of Piltover and end up collaborating with them to avoid further harm.
Zaun's future as an independent city-state couldn't happen if they stuck to their old ideals. The people who stand a chance against Piltover are the ones that not only succeed but excel at playing Piltover's games against them.
#arcane#arcane meta#jinx arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#jayce talis#viktor arcane#i also imagine silco heavily invested in jinx's technical education once he took her in#vander ensured the kids were warm safe and loved but he wasn't planning on advancing them or zaun in anyway like silco was#i guess there's also a parenting metaphor in here about the way a parent can harm their children based from their own trauma and ambition#i also think it's interesting that the boxing game kept score for the players and immediately ranked them for all to see#but the shooting game didn't do that instead players had to manually track their own score against each other#who knows how many kids in zaun actually know math that well to keep up with the game and their competitors#the boxing game also has more space in the arcade and is more centrally positioned for other people to view and admire the plaayers#there's more incentive in zaun for kids to play the boxing game rather than shoot
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Recently Youtube's algorithm really wants me to watch Schindler's List and I never had so the other night I sat down and actually watched it.
Having a lot of thoughts about it but a major one I keep coming back to is how even an immensely and deeply flawed human being can go against "just following orders" and instead put in the work to actually help.
It may never be fully enough. It may never save as many as you'd hoped. But when you have a choice to either follow orders or save your fellow humans in front of you, I hope you choose the latter.
Schindler died in poverty. He was not a renown war hero nor was he at all famous or widely beloved. But he saw that he could help, even in some small way, and so he helped.
He was a Nazi who saw what the Nazis were doing to Jews and said no more. Enough. If I can even spare those under my charge, maybe a few extras, then at least I will have tried to do something about this.
I think a lot of people do not fancy this type of activism. It is messy, dangerous, and often completely thankless. Schindler survived as long as he did after the war due to those he saved helping him with donations. He was not popular in his hometown due to his association with Nazis, he was not popular in Germany, he was not popular in Argentina. His businesses all failed. His wife left him. A movie about his deeds was released several years after his death, where he would receive none of the benefits. He went to prison multiple times for simply refusing to hate Jews.
I think a lot of people like to think they're activists, but are sorely unprepared for doing this type of work, and then in truth become activists in name only. This is hard work. But without him, another thousand or so people would be on that death toll.
He took his position of extreme power- a Nazi owning a factory almost entirely operated by Jews, making oodles of money off that cheap slave labor- and said you know what? No. I'm not doing that. I can't save everyone, but as long as they are within my factory, you will not kill my workers. As long as I'm here you aren't harming one hair on the head of any Jew under my care. You're not sending or keeping them in Auschwitz. You're not randomly executing them for entertainment. They're people. You're not murdering them.
"Just following orders" they say. But they didn't have to. They could have helped. They could have did what he did, look around and say "what the fuck am I doing here", and stop. He did. They could have. They didn't.
#I think it's also intereating that he did not do it out of compassion at first#he did it because it was smart capitalism#jewish labor was super cheap and they were desperate to be considered fit to work because otherwise execution was waiting for them#only after the cleansing of the ghetto did he say whoa okay holy shit yeah no I'm not doing this anymore#that's also true of the real man the movie is about#I also think it's interesting that not everyone he saved thinks he was a good person#but even still despite his flaws they respect and admire what he did for them#his motives were not always pure#but the fact of the matter is that when he saw what was happening he chose to act against it#he did not shrug and saw welp orders are orders#nor did he succumb to hopelessness when it became difficult to keep up what he was doing
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KantBison + back hugs Khaotung Thanawat as Bison; First Kanaphan as Kant (The Heart Killers, 2024-25)
Bonus: oh, how the turn tables:
#thkedit#the heart killers#bisonkant#kantbison#the heartkillers#thk bison#thk kant#asianlgbtqdramas#tuserrowan#userjamiec#userbon#tusersilence#tuserhidden#fordaniseyes#my gifs#my edits#mine: the heart killers#mine: kantbison#WILDLY inconsistent colouring but. ehhh.#this has kept me sane wfh during the storm today#there are 3 that didn't make it bc they're not technically backhugs#and then i added the swing gif and idk what this set is anymore lmao#(they were kant teaching bison to tattoo#kant pressed up against bison in the arcade on the motorbike game#and i think the hammock but that was more a lying down cuddle sitch#idk kant's clearly just got a fav place to be
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Ladybug has far more patience than I to listen to Chloe’s new annoying catch phrase and not punch her in the face.
Based on Yamai:
Ko-fi | Patreon
#look I rewatched the first 3rd of Season 5 and all of Chloe's screen time is literally just repeating the same tired point#woman you didn't help even when you WERE called upon#OR when you DID help that was only against akumas CAUSED. BY. YOU.#yeah I shot-for-shot recreated chapter 8 of komi-san can't communicate lol#cracks me up that Ladybug and Yamai are both voiced by Cristina Vee so#my art#anti-chloe#chloe salt#ooc ladybug#haha
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Whole thing on A03
It didn't matter how much Steve explained. Not one member of the Party was going to get it.
Tommy and Carol would, but then, they were no longer on speaking terms. A fact that hurt even if it was for the best--particularly in times like these, because they got it.
They understood how he had been ensnared with the very same wealth people mocked him for. What it meant when his parents demanded Steve drop everything and go on vacation, his own plans be damned.
They knew, because their families had done much the same, and so the lives they led also were tethered to leashes made of their parents' design.
Dustin, whose mother bent over backwards to try and better her kid’s life, didn’t even have a frame of reference for this kind of thing, let alone sympathy.
"Do they not understand you have a job?" Dustin asked incredulously, and Steve didn't have the emotional bandwidth to explain that his parents didn't consider working at Family Video to be a real job.
As far as they were concerned, Steve could quit if he had to, and then go find another job when they were done using him to play the nice, All-American family.
Likely for business purposes.
"They aren't the type to care." Steve said instead.
It was easier than getting into it.
(Easier than explaining the BMW wasn't in his name, but his parents.
How his money went into a bank account they had access to.
That practically everything he owned was actually owned by Richard and Stella Harrington, and both were quick to remind him of that fact the second they felt Steve was acting out of line.
And boy, had he been acting out of line.
Getting into fights.
Turning their punishment of working a job they picked specifically for the humiliating outfit, into the far worse public embarrassment of being involved in a mall fire--an embarrassment because Steve had "lost" the keys to the BMW, had "put himself in danger" playing hero instead of letting the perfectly capable firefighters do it, then “paraded around” with bruises all over his face, racking up medical bills.
Truly a sin for someone who hadn’t made it into college.)
So no, this vacation they demanded Steve drop everything for was not anything close to a reward, or even something they were doing to spend time together. There was a reason they needed Steve, and as far as they were concerned, Steve was at their beck and call until he shaped up and got his life back on track.
His own plans be damned.
"That's not fair though!" Dustin burst out and Steve sighed in relief, because here at least, he knew what to do to distract his younger friend.
“We planned our trip months ago!” Dustin continued, looking two seconds away from giving in and stomping his foot.
The kid might have been smarter than Steve--smarter than most people really--by a hell of a lot, but he was still fourteen.
Smarts, Steve knew, didn't exactly equate to emotional intelligence, and it definitely didn't stop rampaging hormones.
Ice cream on the other hand, was a great aid in both areas.
"You better be making this up to us." Dustin threatened thirty minutes later, spoon wedged deep into a sundae. “We can’t do, like, half the stuff we were going to do without you!”
“I'm sure you guys didn’t need me to play ghost runners or whatever.” Steve said, but was quick to back down when Dustin nearly threw his spoon at him.
Rather than antagonizing him more, Steve dutifully raised his hand to put over his heart. "I swear on your mom that I’ll make it up to you.”
Dustin rolled his eyes, but otherwise, finally, let the whole thing go.
Stupidly, Steve thought this meant the worst was over.
He was wrong.
xXx
Mike hadn’t cared.
El and Will hadn’t really either, though both expressed some sadness that Steve wouldn’t be participating in the camping trip that the Party as a whole had been looking forward to for the past few months.
Erica had simply snapped at him, making him promise much the same as Dustin had that he would be making it up to her sometime in the future. Likewise, she had been bought off by ice cream (even if she insisted it didn’t count because Steve owed her ice cream anyways.)
Max was the surprising emotional standout.
"You can't tell them no?" She demanded, arms crossed over her chest.
Lucas was hovering awkwardly at her shoulder, shooting "what can you do?" vibes as hard as he could at Steve as his (currently on-again) girlfriend outright dressed the elder boy down; her shoulders creeping up higher and higher until she seemed to realize she was visually giving away her upset and forcibly relaxed them.
Unlike Dustin and Erica, her tirade was very out of character and Steve was growing more concerned by the second that something was wrong the more she spat at him.
“I mean for fucks sake, didn’t you tell them you had plans!?” She finished, eyes narrowed in rage.
Which was rich coming from someone whose stepdad had Billy Hargrove running all over town before he’d run off after the guy’s death, but then, Steve knew better than to bring all that up.
(The image of Max, unresponsive in the hospital with casts on almost every limb, was still too fresh.
Even now he didn’t like to push her, even if the Party as a whole did their best to take notice when one of them was isolating themselves again.
Max, though she was down to one crutch, was still inclined to use it as a weapon and very much enjoyed practicing her swings on people’s ankles.)
“I did indeed. They don’t care and they’re not giving me a choice, but for what it’s worth I am sorry.” Steve tried to keep his voice even and out of angry-shrieking range, and vaguely prayed it was working. “I swear, I will make it up to you guys, even if we have to go on a second camping trip.”
This was clearly not the correct thing to say.
Though judging by the murderous rage being aimed his way, Steve was pretty sure nothing short of “You know what you’re right, let me go tell my parents to fuck off!” would make Max happy.
“So you’re seriously just going to drop everything, all our plans, your job, us,” She took a very threatening step forward and despite her being a full foot shorter than him, Steve had to fight not to take a responding step back. “So you can go play rich boy in the Bahamas?”
“We’re not going to the Bahamas--” Steve tried, but was interrupted with a loud “ugh!” of disapproval.
“Whatever makes you happy, Steven.” Max spat, and then turned on her heel, storming off towards the rest of the Party (who had taken one look at Max’s face and fled into the arcade so she and Steve could “talk.”) “I’m sorry us peasants weren’t good enough to hang around!”
“Sorry man.” Lucas apologized quietly, on his way to run after Max.
Steve just scrubbed a hand through his hair and sighed.
xXx
“The kids are mad at you.” Nancy announced, appearing across the Family Video counter like a phantom.
Steve swore, nearly dropping his stack of VHS’s, while Robin (who had clearly seen Nancy approach) cackled at his fumble.
“Yeah, I did get that memo.” Steve said, after he stabilized his stack, safely moving them from his arms to the counter.
Nancy peered around them, her face giving away nothing. “It is kind of shitty to cancel at the last minute like that. We were relying on you to drive.”
An old fury shook itself awake in Steve’s chest, taking an interest in the conversation the second Steve realized what Nancy was here to do.
He took a deep, shuddering breath, and pressed it down, back into the box he’d slammed it in all those years ago.
“I’d leave the keys to Robin here, but unfortunately, someone failed their drivers test.” Steve said instead, jamming his finger over his shoulder and blatantly attempting to pass the buck.
Robin, who absolutely knew that was what he was doing, faked a gasp and kicked at his ankles.
“That crotchety asshole failed me on purpose!” She protested, spinning to face Nancy. “He made like, three misogynistic comments before we even got in the car!”
“Pointing out that he knew the car wasn’t yours wasn’t misogynistic, he was just surprised to see me letting you use the Beemer.” Steve shot back, rolling his eyes. “I don’t exactly let a lot of people drive it.”
Unspoken was that Steve’s BMW was one of the town’s more unique cars, and thus easily identifiable by the locals at large.
“How is that better!?” Robin returned, but Nancy cleared her throat before they could successfully get the Steve-and-Robin show on the road.
“The point is that we--but really, the kids, were counting on you.” Nancy said, dipping into her patented “I’m upset with you” tone.
A year ago it would have cut Steve to the bone, even if he didn’t show it.
Now he just stared tiredly at her back.
“I’m sorry, Nance, but it is what it is.” He said simply, hoping the apology (even if he knew it wasn’t so much a real apology as it was something he said to keep the rage from breaking out and wrecking havoc via his mouth) would soften his ex. “I don’t know what else to tell you.”
Given the abrupt narrowing of her eyes, it very much did not help his case.
“For someone who was so vocal about trying to change I have to say this is pretty disappointing.” Nancy said simply, but with just enough of a tone that Steve had to close his eyes for a second.
Feel the way that old anger, the one that had powered King Steve, hit the bars of its cage.
Robin stilled immediately next to him, her head ping-ponging between Steve and Nancy both as she too, clocked that Nancy was pissed, and here to chew Steve out about it.
“Um.” She said, voice going high in discomfort.
Steve grit his teeth. “I don’t exactly get a say in these things, Nancy. You know that.”
He had to work to keep his voice even, fighting against the ice that wanted to sharpen his own tone.
It was just---Nancy did know.
Steve had told her all those years ago, in the safety of her arms, about his parents' expectations. Their predetermined path, the way they dictated large swathes of his life.
How they’d allowed him to pick which sports he played, but required that he play a sport no matter the time of year.
That the pool they had installed wasn’t for him, he just got to use it as much as he did in part because he’d joined the swim team, and the kind of mental mind games he and his parents played about things like that.
Apparently either Nancy had forgotten, or simply hadn’t taken it in to begin with because she wasn’t backing down.
(Not that Steve had ever seen Nancy Wheeler back down.)
“I know you have trouble juggling your parents' plans with your own.” Nancy said, and her tone was absolutely icy now. “I certainly remember waiting for a date that never happened.”
Steve sucked in a breath through his teeth, knowing immediately what Nancy was referring to.
“I told you they came home unexpectedly.” He said, arms now crossed against his chest, nails digging into his arms as a way to help himself stay grounded. “They wouldn’t let me use the phone until the next day and I apologized.”
“And I recall having a lovely conversation with your mother where she said otherwise.” Nancy said, her words punctuated by another high pitched “Uhhhh.” from Robin.
“Funny how you believe my mom over me.” Steve said and whoops, yup, he definitely sounded mad now.
So much for all the effort he’d put in to staying calm.
“Because I look at actions, Steve. Patterns. The same ones you kept repeating.” Nancy was clearly about to escalate, and Robin, bless her, had had enough.
“He-eeey.” She said, wedging herself in between Steve and the counter Nancy was starting to lean over. “I totally get it, you’re both upset, but this maybe isn’t the venue to fight about it? There are customers in the store and--sorry Nancy--but I do kinda need Steve for work, so…”
She trailed off, glancing nervously between the two of them.
Nancy took a breath, blasting it out of her mouth like an academically inclined dragon. “You’re right. I’m sorry Robin.”
She then turned on her heel, making her way to the doors. She paused before them, and Steve prepared himself because he knew whatever she was going to say next, it was going to hurt.
“I wouldn’t care if it was just me, Steve, but the kids don’t deserve you pulling this shit. Not after all they’ve been through.” With that, Nancy pushed through the door, head held high as she stormed to her car.
As was typical for Nancy’s aim, she scored a direct hit.
Steve, somehow, resisted throwing things.
“Can you believe her!?” He said, the second the doors were closed and Nancy safely out of eyeshot. “Coming in here like that!?”
He ran his hand through his hair, once, twice.
A third time for good measure.
“Yeah, that was seriously public for her.” Robin agreed, sliding up next to him. “Like really public.”
Steve shrugged, because well. Not really.
Not anymore.
But Robin didn’t know that, just like Robin wasn’t entirely familiar with the depths Steve’s parents went to save face. They hadn’t exactly had time to really dig into it all, given how fast the Vecna situation had hit after Starcourt and the sheer PTSD both incidents had caused.
Most nights they spent together was spent trying to avoid reliving nightmares, not discussing ones they were currently still living in.
A fact that Steve was more than happy to bring her up to speed on, but to do so involved a lot of backstory, and backstory involved Nancy, and God, he was fucking pissed at Nancy.
Soon it was an hour into his rant and he hadn’t actually gotten around to the sheer level of shit his parents would pull, too busy with Nancy and old echoes of ‘bullshit.’
He only stopped when Robin put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him ever so slightly.
“Dingus. You know I love you, and I know you’ve changed, but you do gotta admit, canceling at the last minute is kinda shitty and I get why they’re upset.”
It was like the carpet had been pulled right out from under Steve, yanked so quickly he’d have to pinwheel to keep his feet.
“What?” He said, eyes round in sheer surprise.
“I just mean like, I get your parents are dicks but,” Robin’s face screwed up, looking like she’d sucked a lemon. It was her “I’m going to say something you don’t like face” and it hit Steve like a punch to the gut.
“Our shift’s almost over and no offense, you’ve started to repeat yourself about Nance, and I get it! I do, memory shit is hard!” Robin’s hands moved as she talked, her bracelets jingling as if punctuating her point.
“But I also think admitting you double booked yourself on accident and just taking responsibility for it would help smooth things over. Middle ground, you know?” Robin waggled her hands in a gesture that, for the first time in a long time, Steve didn’t understand.
He found himself suddenly struggling to breathe.
“Are you--are you saying you think I didn’t tell them I had a trip already planned?”
Steve wasn’t sure how he managed to get it out. Wasn’t sure how he was doing anything, given the heat that was shooting through him, a hot mix of confusion and betrayal as Robin fidgeted to his left.
“No! Okay well,” The lemon face got worse for a second. “I’m just saying you did kinda forget to pick me up that one time, and you do kinda blame your parents when stuff like that happens.” She bit a nail, peering at him out of the corner of her eyes.
“I don’t--” Steve said, completely knocked adrift. “I…”
Robin didn’t believe him.
His Robin.
Who wasn’t--wasn’t exactly siding with Nancy, but wasn’t saying she was wrong either, or that she understood that this shit was out of his control, and in fact, was kind of implying that Nancy was right more so than Steve was and---and--
There was a ringing in Steve’s ears he wasn’t sure actually existed.
“I’m sure a lot of it is your brain injury. The doctors said your short term memory can take a while to fully come back and I totally get why you don’t wanna say that, I just, I think it would be better if--Steve?” Robin jumped back as Steve finally found his footing, swiping his jacket and punching out before she could catch how badly his hands were shaking.
“I’m leaving.” Steve told her, his own words a million miles away, entirely uncaring if Keith fired him.
Keith was likely going to fire him anyway, given Steve was about to ask for a week-long vacation not even four months after the whole Vecna ordeal.
“Wait, Steve, hey--Dingus! I wasn’t done, I mean, I had more to say I, dammit Steve--!” Robin called after him frantically as Steve bolted for the door.
Steve ignored her, aiming for the Beemer and swinging himself numbly into the driver's seat when he got it open.
Put the car in park and avoided Robin’s face entirely as he backed it out, punching the gas far harder than he needed to.
The Beemer roared in response, nose rising as it shot forward.
Robin was his best friend. His fucking--platonic soulmate, as she kept calling him. The very idea that she agreed with Nancy in general was a blow but in this?
Against his parents?
Nausea rolled angrily in Steve’s stomach, matching the sudden wetness that coated his eyes.
Angry and needing an outlet, Steve stomped hard on the gas, taking the next corner far too sharp and making the beemer fishtail, tires squealing .
He didn’t know where he was going.
He figured he’d find out when he got there.
xXx
Given what Steve knew about the universe at large, (nevermind Hawkins) it probably wasn’t the smartest thing to hang around the Quarry at night.
But then, summer was in full swing. Kids were home from college and itching to find a place to party without parental overhead.
Deep to the left side of the water, around a few bends and tucked oh so neatly out of sight, was a place where one could do just that.
Party.
This stretch had long been claimed by the college kids of Hawkins, and guarded zealously for it.
With the sheer number of drunk people whooping and hollering around the bonfires below the ridge where everyone parked their cars, Steve figured he was safe enough.
Even if he was up with said cars, sitting alone.
Not like it mattered. If a demodog or demogorgan or demo-fucking-dragon decided to come along, Steve had half a mind to just let it have him.
It felt easier than trying to fix the current mess his life was in.
So he sat up here, blowing through the alcohol he’d purchased from the one gas station that never carded, drinking his problems away.
(That also wasn’t the best course of action but with his parents home to spring the whole “vacation” ordeal on him, it wasn’t like Steve had a choice.)
He hadn’t grabbed a lot--had been so damn upset and struggling to hide it that he’d picked up a four pack of wine coolers instead of the intended beer he’d wanted. It was all he had though, and so he chugged the last bottle with a wince and wished he was a hell of a lot drunker than he felt.
Then promptly caught sight of the person walking towards him, and wondered vaguely if he was drunker than he felt.
Of all the people to come and offer him a can of beer, Steve would have never expected Tommy Hagan.
He eyed it and his old friend both, before slowly reaching out and taking the can.
“Heard you and your parents are doing CoHo this year.” Tommy said casually, leaning up against the front of the Beemer like it was old times.
“Yup.” Steve replied, drawing the word out.
“Angie Tideman’s parents are going, they’re bringing her ith .” Tommy said it casually, and had the good graces not to grin when Steve audibly groaned.
“Oh god.”
Tommy sucked on a lip, nodding absently. “Yeah.”
Then; “It gets worse.”
Steve, who now knew what this conversation was about, instantly began tearing into the beer can. “How can it get worse? You know what Angie’s like.”
Angie, whose full name was Angelina, lived a few towns over. Born to wealthy parents who doted on their beloved only child, Angie had more in common with your average shark than she did her fellow humans.
A comparison that, frankly, was unkind to sharks.
She was without a doubt the most selfish person Steve had ever had the misfortune of encountering, and the mere idea of being trapped in a room with her made his skin crawl.
Their parents were business buddies though, and god forbid he ever insult a business buddies kid,
“She goes to Purdue, you know, with me and Carol.” Tommy said, instead of answering directly. “We cross paths a lot, party wise.”
Steve stayed silent.
Knew how Tommy talked, how his stories meandered. Especially the juicy ones.
“She’s been talking a lot recently. Given you don’t look all that informed, I’m gonna assume the one person she hasn’t talked to is you.”
Steve gripped the can of beer, a sudden, sick fear blooming in his gut.
“Tommy.” He said mildly, not loud enough to really interrupt, but with enough force to let his former friend know to get to the point, now.
“Got all super fancy right before we left for summer break. Hair done, whole new wardrobe, nails, you know.” Tommy waggled his fingers playfully, but dropped them when Steve just stared. “Went full whore on us. I swear she was making out with any guy who even looked at her--”
“Tommy.” He repeated, this time a hell of a lot firmer.
Done pushing, Tommy let go of the proverbial bombshell. “Apparently you’re planning on proposing to her this summer. She’s gonna return next year as an engaged woman, with you in tow, because apparently, you got into Purdue. Congrats by the way.”
Tommy clapped him on the shoulder, right as Steve’s mouth went dry.
For the second time that day, he found himself fighting the burning heat of embarrassment and fury as it rolled through him.
“I’m proposing.” Steve said, as if saying it out loud would scare the very idea away. “To Angie.”
“Yeah we kinda figured you didn’t know.” Tommy said with a snide little grin. To the average outsider it was mocking, but Steve knew better.
Tommy was uncomfortable, because Tommy had understood what Steve’s parents had done.
“What I’d like to know is just how much Angie’s parents paid to get you into Purdue. That’s gotta be a minimum fifty thousand dollar donation at least.” Tommy removed his hand, to instead lean his shoulder against Steve’s. Like this was the old times, before they’d fought. “ I didn’t think they had that kind of money to throw around.”
A past conversation with his father struck Steve, running through the front of his mind like a bad horror movie.
“They sold the estate.” Steve said vacantly, the implications not quite hitting. “The one they’ve been trying to get rid of forever, over in Cape Cod.”
“Oh shit.” Tommy said, blinking as he too, recalled what was likely his father telling him the very same news.
“They sold the place on Cape Cod, and they used part of the funds to fucking buy me like a toy.” And yeah, saying it out loud, it definitely sounded bad. “I didn’t think Angie even liked me.”
“Does Angie like anyone?” Tommy asked, incredulously, but nudged Steve’s shoulder again when his joke didn’t net him the laugh he wanted.. “I mean, you had to know your old man had plans to straighten you out. He keeps getting mad at my dad, because the ass won't stop making jokes that I’m going to take over the company instead of you.”
“And this is it. Attaching me to Angie.” Steve said vacantly. “Because they know if I get married…”
He’d put his wife first. His family, first.
The one he’d wanted, dreamed of, since he first realized he didn’t have one.
He’d been playing checkers the entire time, too busy fighting fucking monsters and Russians to realize his parents had upgraded to chess.
In a dizzying array of mental connect-the-dots, Steve replayed the last years worth of conversations. All the odd little things they’d said. All the dumb things Steve had just ignored.
They’d warned him.
Had told him he better shape up, or they’d be forced to do something drastic.
That his parents hadn’t wasted all this time, effort, money on him, for him to throw away his life like he was.
“You better start acting right and figuring out how to get your life back on track, because you won’t like what happens if I have to fix it for you. You get a month Steven, and after that? Well. Just remember you forced my hand, Steven.”
They knew. They knew him, and what made him tick.
“I think the real question is what Angie’s parents see in you.” Tommy teased, but then they both knew the answer to that puzzle.
For all that Steve’s mom complained about her husband, the guy was a shrewd and calculating businessman. Those weekends, then weekdays, then more and more time away hadn’t just been so he could go screw his secretary.
Richard Harrington had fast tracked his business to the point where it was now getting attention. The business journal, ‘Top 50 Companies to Watch’ kind.
Even if Steve fucked up entirely, he was set to inherit a fortune and a business that would continue adding to it, for some time to come.
Provided he did what his parents wanted.
Such as marrying Angie.
Thing was, if his parents did what they always did, and held their wealth (his car, his home, his life and all the little things in it) against him like a gun to his head, if Angie got that ring around her finger?
Steve would bow to their whims.
Because they could fluster him into proposing so he didn’t embarrass Angie, and her parents and anyone else who’d undoubtedly be watching. They’d make a spectacle of it.
Because once he did propose, they wouldn’t let him back out, burying him under guilt trips and veiled threats until he was marched down the aisle in a groomsman suite and told to stand.
Because against all common sense, Steve wanted a family who loved him so desperately he’d chase it like a dog if he was presented with the opportunity and told to make it work.
It didn’t matter that Angie was selfish.
Steve would try anyway.
His parents were maneuvering him as easily as they had back when he was a kid, using love as a tool to get him to do what they wanted and even seeing the nose hanging from the rafters, they knew just the right words to get him to place it around his neck.
“Thought you’d wanna know.” Tommy finished, pushing himself off Steve’s car. “Before your parents sprung it on you.”
“Sonofabitch.” Steve hissed angrily, a million thoughts racing through his head, the heat of being caught in a trap blasting down his spine.
“Yeah.” Tommy added, rather unhelpfully. “But hey, given that you’re about to go on vacation to propose, why don’t we consider this,” here Tommy swept his hand, gesturing to the party below, “your proposal party?”
It was a downright horrible idea.
But then, Steve didn’t exactly have a better one.
Not when the world itself seemed against him, grinding its heel into his back and laughing about it.
He knew the drill. If he went down there, arm in arm with Tommy, then it wouldn’t matter that half those kids were from a few towns over, driven in by new college buddies.
They’d see him as a reason to get wild, absolutely uncaring that they didn’t know who the hell he was.
Steve needed that.
People who weren’t mad at him, buying into the easy lies his parents wove, or who didn't understand the games played against him.
“Fuck it.” He announced, standing up from the hood of his car as Tommy’s grin morphed into something he used to see in the days of old, back when they were sneaking drinks from their parents' alcohol cabinets. “This way at least I get a party.”
Not like his parents were going to let him have an engagement party. Or a bachelor party, or likely let his ass back into Hawkins.
No matter how long the engagement.
Tommy cheered, raising his arms to the sky and Steve grinned wildly with him.
He’d figure out how to get out of all this later--but for now, he wanted just a few damn hours where he didn’t have to think.
Not about his parents, or Angie, or possible attempts to force him into marriage, like this was the yee olden days and Steve was a Victorian maiden who needed to be brought to heel.
Likewise he didn’t want to think about the Party, or Russian torture, or how Nancy could be so damn smart in some things and downright stupid in others.
He absolutely didn't want to think about Robin.
“Hey boys and girls, look who I drug up!” Tommy yelled as they approached and soon, word had spread.
This was Steve’s proposal party, and he was here to get absolutely smashed (while encouraging everyone else to do the exact same, in his honor.)
Which would be how Eddie found him a few hours later.
Still at the quarry, crossfaded off his ass, a forty in one hand and a lawn dart in the other.
“Are you kidding me, Steve?” Eddie grit out, desperately trying to wrestle the lawn dart out of his hand. “You’re fucking partying with Tommy Hagan!?”
Steve blinked at him a few times, finally catching on that Eddie was in fact, actually there.
“When did you show up?” He asked, though given the wince on Eddie’s face and just how hard it had been to move his lips, Steve correctly assumed he’d slurred the shit out of the question.
Somehow, Eddie understood him anyway.
“Robin called me a while ago, gave me a list of places you might be. Almost skipped this one until I stepped out of my van to take a piss and heard the party.” Eddie explained, and somehow while doing so, he’d successfully gotten a hold of the dart.
He was now working on removing the 40 ounce.
Steve frowned, using his newly freed hand to grip it closer to his chest.
“Harrington.” Eddie warned, and oh, wow, they were back to last names huh?
Well why not, it wasn't like his night could get worse.
“This is mine, Munson.” Steve fired back, putting as much vitriol into Eddie’s last name as he could.
This did not detour the metalhead.
“Come on man, give me the bottle.” Eddie said firmly.
Steve shook his head stubbornly, enjoying the way his hair whipped at his face. “No.”
Another man stumbled over, a guy Steve absolutely did not know. He frowned, looking between Eddie and Steve.
For two seconds, Steve thought they might have trouble, and given the way Eddie was tensing, he clearly thought so too.
Instead, New Guy just kind of rocked on his heels. “Hey, shove off it, buddy. It’s this guy's bachelor party, let the man drink!”
Eddie’s face did something complicated then, pulling the sort of expressive looks only he could manage.
It was both adorable and hilarious, and if Steve hadn’t just been reminded of the very reason he was drinking, he’d have told Eddie so.
“Yeah!” He said instead, raising his hand in the air, toasting his bottle of forty against the other guy’s red solo cup. “It’s my proposalengagmentbachelor party!”
Given the second, adorable-slash-hilarious look on Eddie’s face, Steve assumed those words hadn’t come out right either.
“Okay.” Eddie said hands on his hips in a stance Steve was pretty sure Eddie had gotten from him. “Here’s what's going to happen. You’re going to put the bottle away. Then you’re going to give me your car keys, and then the two of us are going to my house to sleep whatever is happening here, off.”
At least, that's what Steve thought he heard. It was a pretty un-Eddie like speech, and Steve maybe, might have been the one to say it, because he maybe, might have been mocking what Eddie had actually said.
Maybe.
It was hard to know, given that Steve’s thoughts were a thick soup on a bit of a time delay, and he was having a hard time figuring up from down, let alone what Eddie had been actually saying.
Speaking of;
“When did I get into your car?” Steve asked, blinking as the van’s passenger seat appeared before him.
“Just now.” Eddie said, helping him in.
“Huh.” Said Steve, and then he maybe passed out a bit, because once again, he found himself awake and alert at a place that wasn’t where he’d just been.
“Come on.” Eddie said gently, one of Steve’s arms over his shoulder as Steve leaned heavily into him, guiding the jock up the stairs and into the small house he and Wayne now called a home.
The guy might have muttered a few things about bachelor parties along the way, but Steve was too focused on walking straight to really take notice.
Part Two
#lol remember when I said I wasnt posting parts to stuff until they were finished#THAT SURE LASTED LONG#pre steddie#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#0o0 fanfics#This is very Steve focused#TW his horrible parents#VERY hurt#comforts later#with eddie!#I really wanted to explore Steves Parents#in proper Rich Asshole Controling fashion#TW forced marriage#or mentions of#I also wanted to explore a lot of how the kids#and Nancy and Robin (who are also STILL kids#would react because sure they came up against monsters and the government#but neither of those things want you to like them#theyll let you know theyll eat you#Steves parents#like many rich dicks#want to isolate#want you to think theyre amazing#and its often the inner circle who knows whats up but are also caught in their own chokechain#hence the title of this fic#whiiiich is chokechain#stranger things#tw drinking
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