#were intolerant or something
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i know most ppl are probably just gonna go "well its the video game anime for babies, what did you expect", and theyre right to an extent because the way pokeani is produced, i dont think they really have the luxury to think arcs like this through. and like. otherwise, "glory blaze" is a fantastic episode, along with the next few in the lineup. it is serviceable for what it is.
but liiiiike... it reallyyyyy feels like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too with paul abusing chimchar. like, if the message from paul and ash's rivalry is supposed to be "everyone has a different way of living and that's okay", why did they make paul's abuse of chimchar so intense? if it was just supposed to be strict and not suited for chimchar? why include the scene of paul having all of his pokemon beat up chimchar, and then refuse chimchar medical treatment, and show chimchar as all battered throughout the episode, retraumatize chimchar and then berate it and abandon it to die, and then two episodes later, have an episode all about exploring how deeply traumatized chimchar from all this to the point it has a fucking mental breakdown at being treated kindly and flinches when ash touches it and stuff...... if later, youre gonna go "lol well i mean paul should be allowed to do what he wants..... if you think about it, isnt ash just as bad as him....?"
like im not opposed to having an abuse recovery arc in the anime, and for what its worth, its overall a good arc!! i love these episodes!! theyre well put together for what theyre trying to do in the time period theyre in. and infernape still gets ultimate catharsis later on. paul is still implied to have gotten better after infernape defeats him and he IS proven wrong. theres a point to all this. i am not crying that there is conflict in the "animals fight each other" anime.
but like.... its weird to do that and go "but paul isnt REALLY doing anything wrong, he and ash are just different people and you have to respect that!" and its so weird how they insist on that while also showing that infernape is deeply traumatized from how paul treated it and that paul is cruel to his pokemon. ash capturing it is almost portrayed as a rescue.
oh god. here we go
#maybe this is an extreme comparison but it reminds me of like. parents who abuse their children but their friends are like#''ummmm thats just their parenting style ok? live and let live.''#ok. im gonna try to be quiet abt this now im sorry#echoed voice#dp liveblog#like maybe when he compares ash to himself brock can go ''no wtf are you talking about???''#but no all the adults and the narrative itself seems to insist that the issue isnt that paul was abusive. it was that both trainers#were intolerant or something#and its not even reflected well in the show like ash doesnt really take cues from him iirc#idk. its a mess. thats why i dont hate or even dislike this arc. its very well intentioned and its still a fantastic arc#but like. idk. its a show attempting to tackle abuse AND its nuances. but because of its limitations it really cant#like. i am not going to this show for raw and realistic depictions of abuse and recovery. dgmw.#and so it comes off kinda lopsided and i feel like its resulted in fans that are like#''wow paul did nothing wrong''#and thats.... not great#ok. compliments from here on out i promise. in the context of this episode alone. paul is the antagonist. i promise i get that
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AZ was unhealthily attached to Floette in the same way Xan was unhealthily attached to AZ 💔 it just happens to be easier to tell when you're on the receiving end of this behavior vs. when you're the one perpetrating it 😔
#hope talks#Xanthos#a scene i keep envisioning is like...#'Xan's clinginess becomes so intolerable to AZ that he ends up berating Xan about it'#(and of course its completely understandable why Xan's clinginess is an issue it's really really bad for both of them)#(but you know. its the issue of AZ going about addressing it in the worst possible way he could 😭 it coming out in a moment of frustration#rather than a desire to have an actual conversation...(#and when Floette attempts to comfort Xan... AZ calls her away from him!#of course for AZ it's like... 'you don't have to worry about him. he'll be fine'#but there's also an underlying childish 'you're MY friend. not his!!'#i really like the idea that AZ loves Floette and their friendship/sibling relationship is the most important thing in the world to him#but there were also times where he was a bad friend to her 💔 which is something a bit... inevitable! unfortunate as that is#it's impossible for something to be good all the time even if overall#it was a positive relationship for both of them...#Floette is Very patient and Very forgiving which are traits both her brothers lack 😭#(but don't get it twisted she can be petty and childish too... she contains multitudes!)
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the thing that gets me abt religious ppl is they'll demand u respect their religion & that religion hating your existence but they won't respect ur right to be like yea my belief says god isn't real so thats a dumb reason for hating other people or ye ok then ur god is homophobic thats kinda shitty they go APESHIT like. it goes both ways? like they can say i hate gay ppl bc of my religion but when a gay person says well i dont respect that religion bc it doesnt respect me its ww3. I'm not walking on eggshells for people who are too quick to condemn me to hell
#likeeee. ppl have been homophobic to me bc 'their religion condemns it' but i cant be like ok well then fuck ur religion?#but they can say okay fuck you and be hateful and intolerant like that?#why do i tolerate u if u wont tolerate me? im just#like to me as an atheist/agnostic im like. hearing that something i dont even think is real is why u hate me as a person is so insane#like 'its unnatural and wrong bc my religion says so' like ok. why does that have to affect me as someone who doesnt follow said religion#jusr wish more religious ppl were as understanding and non judgemental as they claim they are??#like ur gna say that shit to me? u think god likes that ur speaking for him rn? u rly see urself on the same level as god?#u think YOU can judge others? embarrassing#*smacks own ass* this baby can fit so much religious trauma#i love religion sm for some ppl but then other aspects of it im like why cant yall just modify this as society progresses#them books old as hell them writers didn't even know electricity but ur talking their word abt an entire group of ppl being wrong & evil?#i like when religious ppl apply the teachings to modern society & take into account how shit has changed#when ppl take the good parts of religion and focus on them and bring that religious warmth w them where they go is so nice#(my friends<333)#like they live by them teachings and are good ppl but dc abt divorce or abortion or gays bc society has changed & ppl ultimately deserve#control of their own bodies and shouldnt have to be trapped in bad partnerships#& girls who love other women and dont agree w the typical 'woman serve men' that a lot of religious old folk got goin on#if u can modify some stuff in the religious books whats stopping u extending that grace to literal people just being who they are
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um personally i think that if your girlfriend is insecure over you being friends with another girl you should run far away really fast. but i may be misreading the situation. i don't think i am though.
#i may be misreading. all i know is she got pissed at my friend while we were hanging out but friend has mentioned that she's 'got#trauma over being cheated on' which is understandable but we have been friends for a year and also i go out of my way to try and make this#girl understand i want to be her friend and i'm not trying for anything. i have a fucking bf. she has met my bf. she has seen how i am#around my bf vs around her gf. we r legit just friends. what the fuck man. please be normal and don't stress ur gf out like this. it's mean#:( idk all i know for sure is she said something that upset her while i was out of earshot but im using context clues and im not stupid.#genuinely i think she is misreading some stuff. yes me and her gf/my friend get along really really well but it's like.. two kids who met i#a playplace kind of way. we do shenanigans and talk about stuff. i do not want to fw her. i am not willing to fw such a heavy smoker.#i love her dearly but sometimes i think she is- love and light- incredibly pretentious in a way that irritates me a little. fine for a#friend. intolerable in a partner. many reasons why i would never. also I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. THAT I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT.#insulting to me. honestly. but i could be misreading but i don't think i am.#and insulting as fuck to her gf who is head over heels possibly blindly in love with her my god.#idk i just don't trust that she isn't still insecure about me. and i don't like that she said something upsetting while we were having fun.#i don't like it.#girl i dont want your gf for so many reasons. also i am in a relationship what the fuck girl. what the fuck do you think of me. and also#have some fucking trust in your own gf. insane behavior. insane. she would never ever cheat on her she is possibly one of the most honest#and like. morally sound people i have ever met. she would never. it's so fucked up to think that of her.
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Brings me immense joy to see the Classicvania renaissance happening lately. So much fresh love for the old games, their stories and characters pouring in and despite having moved on to the Souls fandoms myself, I just want to say how glad I am that more people are seeing the beauty of the classic CV games at last ✨️
#sin speaking#(hi i am alive. just about. its autumn at last...)#(i will always have a soft spot for cv and the games. i left the fandom largely bc it was so intolerable as a space due to SOMETHING!!!!)#(but seeing the collective wake-up and newfound love for one of my favourite franchises has made me and my friends so immensely happy.)#(fun fact! i actually only got into Souls games bc a friend of mine kept lamenting [lol] over their desire for a bloodborne style cv game)#(then i played bb myself and a) i agree. i would sacrifice multiple of my organs on the altar for a quirky soulslike cv game lmao)#(and b) that was the beginning of my downward spiral into yharnam and i have yet to ever leave. funny how the dominos fall like that)#(ive been artblocked as all HELL just lately regrettably. very low mood. very low in esteem. very moderately down in the dumps as it were.)#(but seeing all the traction on my old cv art makes me smile. and also cringe bc oof it looks so bad to me now 😂😂😂)#(But that being said i would love to redraw some of it. its vampire season why not. maybe some cv x bb crossovers would be fun too.......)#(anyway hi ive been languishing playing lotf and praying for lop news soon hows your september doing)#(i dont go there but that dbd collab has done wonders for classicvania. imagine how shaken i was to see hd 3d trevor models in 2024. unreal)#(me from 4 years ago would have been OBNOXIOUS about it.)
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ok i'll shut up soon to go to bed but i had boba milk tea for the first time ever today and man they were not kidding that tastes nothing like tea but tastes a fuckton like milk
#it was against my will I did not ask these ladies for boba tea#but I guess they were doing some sort of special today? It was hard because they did not speak much english#but they gave me my drink And this other one and were saying something about it being Free today#and I'm like Oh Okay. I did not need two drinks but now I have two drinks so now I feel obligated to try this other one#and I did. And it wasn't... bad! I have no idea what exactly it was other than boba milk tea. Idk the flavor or whatever. But it was#chocolately! I can say that much! It just sort of tasted like chocolate milk!#...but with chewy little things in it that I did not much care for!#yea I don't think I can vibe with the Bobas . i tried! I tried I did! but my brain was like What the Fuck all the while#and also I don't. I'm not. I don't like. Drink milk? Regularly? I'm not a milk drinker ?#lactose intolerance aside I'm just not like. Number one milk fan#so I drank as much as I could of it before like. I started drinking the Drink I Intended To Drink In The First Place#and the contrast was very staggering (strawberry soda is what I got LMAO)#clamtalk
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the whole. eshka and viago dynamic has its base in teach a very angry 12 year old how to use a knife
#eshka was picked up after a power + political grab over some slaves that were to be sent west got out of hand#it was a massacre and created no small amount of political turmoil for a bit#the older talons still go on about it sometimes as a warning when the infighting gets too intolerable#but eshka was passed around several crow houses before she ended up with de riva#some by her own hand and others were more political infighting#but de riva is sort of her last step so to speak#not as if she cared since she never asked to be a victim in the raid or be brought into the crows#but he gave her a knife and told her that this was her life now#and it was harsh. it hurt a lot. she cursed and swore his name up and down#but she can’t deny that it gave her purpose. there was something to do with her pain#a place to put her frustration and grief even if she didn’t have the words for it#her homesickness#there’s a lot of love between them#but there’s also viago’s temper. and her feelings of how she owes him for her life#you know now that I think about it idk how old viago is I was just assigning him an age#they are family. in some manner#oc: eshka
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SOS. Been around my family for an entire weekend. Things are getting dire.
#the kids were getting restless and couldn’t agree on a show to watch together#I suggested Bluey#(kids love Bluey right?)#the fear on some of their faces#you would have thought I suggested these children watch The Exorcist or something#they look so shaken#so now IM confused#I learn their parents don’t let them watch Bluey#now I’m REALLY confused#isn’t Bluey as pure and wholesome as a show can get?#isn’t that like?#it’s entire brand?#I should have known better.#the mom informs me that her children can’t watch Bluey#because#Bluey#is a girl#(implication being that a blue character being a girl is Woke and Demonic)#(this is apparently supposed to disgust me)#(it obviously does not)#when THAT didn’t get a reaction out of me#she showed me a clip of another child character casually mentioning her two moms#expecting me to be appalled by such a blatant display of the ‘Woke Left’s gay agenda’#jokes on her that’s the most heartwarming shit I’ve ever seen#I had to excuse myself#these people are TRYING to raise a bunch of intolerant assholes#it’s disgusting#how can you find fault in something as pure as BLUEY#I can only hope that the younger generation grows up and sees the faults in how they were raised#otherwise my family’s cooked
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everything i needed in the grocery store was on sale. 🥲 well not everything. but like 8 things. and that's a lot of things. and gas was 50¢ cheaper per gallon in the city. and i went to i think the only asian market in the city i hadn't been to yet. and me and my cousin finally had an argument we'd been putting off for 9 months, which was stupid because we're literally so good at arguing with each other. and i made plans with my cousins for my birthday and for the beach, later. maybe it'll all be okay fr.
#i'm feeling so food secure i could cry haha#😭 while we were shopping my cousin said 'i don't think i've ever skipped that many frozen food aisles before' 😭#lmao i'm literally just eating vegetables and grains brooo 😭 i don't know how it came to this either#oh and dairy. between yogurt and kefir i'm actually eating hella dairy.#while being literally lactose intolerant lmao#i think something about all the fermenting etc makes them digestible? more digestible? idk#adam yaps
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God. One of my little sisters is such a bitch. She's done me some genuine damage in exacerbating my already social bad anxiety. But when I have dreams where she's been hurt or killed, it's so horrible bc she's still my lil sister :-(
#its bc last night my dad had a dream she was in a car wreck. he transferred that anxiety onto me#shes such a bitch tho.just like intolerant of things she doesnt understand. and she does not understand my unwell brain#i think she likes my youngest sistsr best now. which fair bc i do too but we used to be besties. we used to explore in the woods together#and play ellos and barbies and legos and poly pockets and magnets. and now we never text eachother. its sorta sad#its not just me tho. my youngest sister and i have a 4 year gap so we weren't really interacting much when were were little bc she was too#bby to me but shes such a genuinely lovely person now. shes a special ed and preschool teacher. i asked her mom how she ended up with both#of my sisters bc my middle sister is the most like entitled person i kno. like my parents r very generous and she doesnt think for a moment#about not accepthing things from them. she thinks shes owed that amd more. its so strange#and my mom was like. thank goodness i got the youngest bc otherwise id think something was wrong with me#im prob somewhere in the middle of them. my brain is just more fucked up so like im greatful but im struggling. theres not a ton of like#really obvious mental illness in my family tho. just here and there someone should b diagnosed and get a bit of help. my uncle is the only#other one who could possibly be bipo1ar but hes also got a lot of problems: severe adhd and possibly b0rderline. so it could just b that but#my dad says when u talk to him sometimes things just doent make sense bc hes had convos in his head wuth you so he thinks u kno already#idk. its interesting tho#unrelated
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bruce wayne the whole milk drinker is a more disturbing, yet somewhat canony, image than i initially thought
#idk like. i myself do indulge in milk every now and again- esp when i am eating something very sweet like cake or cookies#but i can see bruce drinking milk just bc he likes it#a full and tall glass alfred leaves next to a snack after bruce is wrapping up a report on his massive monitors#he just sips on it like its water#it'd be funnier if everyone else was lactose intolerant too and were mildly grossed out by bruce's nightly glass of milk
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i keep drafting posts that are just some iteration of "yessss killing and violence biting killing chomping kill kill kill" and then pausing and being like. kitkat. you have a headache. please go to bed.
#sorry for being a desperately unpleasant person. you would not believe how much i'm self-censoring#like if you see me say something nasty and youre like 'hm. this seems unpleasant and unnecessary'#please know there were 25 much nastier posts either deleted or relegated to the drafts#god i WISH people could SEE all the self-pruning i do it is EXHAUSTING and i STILL look like a completely intolerable bitch#every time i let something slip past. because you don't know how WELLLL I'M DOINGGG NOT KILLING PEOPLEEEEE#it's hard being me. i'm pissed off and in pain all the time. what can u do#autoimmune tag
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My inner circle of friends is so accepting, that sometimes I forget how homophobic people exist and there's still a lot of them...
#not counting my parents/older family members bc those are a lost cause#I mean young people like me#it's crazy to me that you can be someone born in the zillenial gen and be so intolerant ???#something happened where i was out with some people#and two guys were kissing in a space which was supposed to be private for them#and these girls saw them and started loudly protesting about it ???#i felt so embarrassed for them like-- why would you react like that? in the year of our lord 2024??#just bc this is a third world country doesnt mean I cant expect better of people here#and mind you these girls looked upper class and 'educated'- in the general sense#not so much i guess if youre being a baby about two guys kissing IN A SAFE SPACE FOR THEM#big rant with no point im just upset..#stuff
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"You know, she have determination ! Too bad it's for the wrong thing"
-Judas 14/07/2023
#about a transphobic woman we were mocking#because she was fighting over and over about someone not allow to be a drag queen because she is trans#moon#drag race#drag race france#there is something about#determination#plus#stupidity#I am still really cynnical about intolerent people#like who do you think is on the line next ?#okay. and next ?#joke#silly#comment#thought#Thoughts#Judas think
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At this point like 40% of what i like about the owl house is just shit i made up in my head lmao
#shut up pandora#granted this is a relatively small percentage!#only 50% of what i like about fucking UNDERTALE is the game the rest is my complex network of lore hcs for all the characters#that toby fox then broke my heart by not adhering to 100% in deltarune (love deltarune tho)#actual homestuck makes up 40% of what i like about homestuck the rest is fandom shenanigans and the hypothetical act 6 where it was good#the sequel trilogy to ace attorney too i like it for the hypothetical games that could have been made if the writers were competent#if somethings generally well written enough that the fandom agrees on the themes intended by the author#well it doesnt generate a big enough fandom does it#you gotta rip each other to shreds over slight variations in your interpretatipn bc the author wasnt clear enough#or the author just made bad choices in writing lmao#undertale tho is mostly just the first one the game is too small for any narrative decisions to be truly controversial i think#but anyway everyone has a bit of flanderization they just cant STAND#and some plotpoints they fucking HATED and everyone has different points which is why they fight so much#my intolerance for flanderization is just for the characters ppl flanderize the most#and the plotpoints in toh that i hate happen to be the ones most are ok with or like#bc i am a Contrarian who gets angry when things dpnt go 100% the way i think it ought to i guess#this is to say#everyones opinion of toh is wrong except mine (she says mischaracterizing everyone who isnt her blorbo to the moon and back)
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I put a lot of effort into being a very understanding, considerate person.
Upon meeting me, many therefore assume that I have immediately taken Their Side on all matters (when in fact I have only showed them that I understand their perspective on such matters).
They are then rather surprised when they complain to me about something and I am understanding and considerate about the opposite perspective too.
I'm not sure what to do about this.
#rambles#like#this doesn't mean that I *don't* agree with them. just that i believe in considering everyone involved before forming an opinion#sometimes this results in considering the other perspective and concluding that it is bullshit. but it is always considered#and I don't wanna upset anyone! but a lot of people don't like to hear someone they vaguely trust mention that they might also have a part#in a problem they're upset about#and I don't know how to assure them that I'm not deserting or scorning them when I don't totally overlook their potential flaws in a#situation#this brought on btw by me being sympathetic to a kid in my year sitting in on classes for the next year because they were bored#(which everyone else seemed to find intolerable)#and then them assuming I would take their side on them talking loudly about their various suicide attempts in the middle of a study session#which. like kindly no I don't think that was a sensible choice and I understand where you're coming from and would be okay to talk about#this in private but not in a room full of people neither of us know in depth. maybe don't do that#anyway#rant over#tl:dr. if I don't view you as a flawless unimpeachable entity it's not because I've “swapped sides” i still care about you#I just don't want to fall into the trap of seeing no issues in something close to me which includes beliefs friends and myself#okay yeah I'm not sure I'm wording this very well. anyway
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