#were getting somewhere w this
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oc stuff before i get back on my woy grind
shoutout to @thunderblazz 's sfef ocs
#genderswap star i hate u#a little less than normal star#i actually wanted to make star a woman at some point n i had some heavy reasoning why i decided against it but i cant remember it now#oh well#theres also incomprehensible bonbon lore !#massive name drop for sugar n woopas species#now also violet n cad n cremes species#were getting somewhere w this#woy#woy oc#art tag
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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The thing that makes me insane about Dick and Jason specifically is that they were both only children. They had to learn how to be brothers together. They went from strangers to friends to brothers in my mind. The original batsiblings.
#my dc posting#dc#batfamily#jason todd#nightwing#red hood#jaybin#discowing#dick grayson#dick had to learn how to big brother from somewhere#but my favourite interpretation is that he was wildly different w jason from the rest of the kids#rest of em? he knows how to do this. he knows this game already#jason? was a stranger. took his name. firs tmet him as robin. they both had to get to know each other. and they were only children previous#y!!!#so i like to imagine dick was way... wilder? with jason. not like he becomes a stick in the mud w the later batkids but-#Smoke and Comfort by 100GoldenUrns#is how i imagine them#and the point is dick was Not doing drugs w tim or cass or damian
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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MiqoMarch Day 23 - Midnight
With their intended voyage into the void only a few days out, Arsay thought it the upmost importance that she steal her partner away to Kugane, that they might share one more fond memory together should things not turn out the way they plan in the thirteenth. It was as they crossed the very same bridge the miqo'te had once sat on together two years prior when Arsay gifted Y'shtola with a bracelet matching that of her own. A token of endearment which, Arsay confessed, she would have given to her fellow scion back then, had nerves not gotten the best of her. While their relationship has undoubtedly changed since the initial purchase of the jewellery, the sentiment remained the same. Y'shtola was someone who Arsay loved dearly and she will forever be grateful to have the seeker's life intertwined with her own. No matter where their free spirits took them, they would always hold each other in their hearts. A promise Y'shtola was more than willing to keep. She slipped the the string of beads around her wrist without a second thought. They were never to come off, not even when the two decided to delay their return to Radz-at-Han in favour of a private bath at the dead of night.
#miqomarch#miqomarch 2024#ffxiv#y'shtola rhul#y'shtola x wol#wolshtola#arsay nun lore#arshtola#thanks to nhaneh for the body mod#i had to do some insane fov to get the moon and them in the same shot so sorry for the distortion#forcing arshtola lore into this prompt since idk when Ill ever get around to gposing the actual scene#this is between 6.1 and 6.2!#endwalker patch spoilers#i had the idea that arsay bought the Dai-ryumyaku bracelets from a vendor between 4.3 n 4.4 when shtola is off to the doman enclave#and arsay is like hey wait you should let me show you around kugane on the way over!#a fun friend date that ends with shtola finally accepting she has a crush on arsay and its terminal#and arsay having a single moment where she starts reflecting on feelings & thinks maybe she missed hanging out w/shtola more than she shoul#only to quickly butt that idea out of her head and continue being super normal#arsay notices these matching bracelets with red and purple string and shes like oh they are so cute and they look like#they belong in a pair it would be so sad if they were ever split up unexpectedly#i know ill buy them and give one to shtola wouldnt that be fun!#so she does that and then cant bring herself to give yshtola the damn thing because she starts second guessing herself#so arsay stashes the bracelets away and she started wearing hers later under her glove#fast forward to two years later and arsay finds the other one in one of her bags#and now shes dating yshtola and they are about to go somewhere super dangerous#what better time to tell your gf how much they have always meant to you#and what better way to do it than with a gift and some words spoken from the heart?#it was a little unconventional since arsay didnt really have marriage on the mind but it was a proposal in a sense#WOL posting#Arsay Nun
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lucifer surprise guest. i panic. i shove 3 apples in his face. he thanks me and invites me to the HOL for the hundredth time where the apple collection grows because it's all i have to offer
#i panic and just press skip sometimes too lol oops#i know theres a wiki btw i just get jumpscared and im always somewhere i cant easily access it w/o my phone refreshing the whole app </3#ESPECIALLY BARBATOS WITH THE JUMPSCARES#barbatos after staring into my soul: was i of any help to you? :)#like yes you were very helpful barb can you stop making me think you know what i look like beyond the screen thank you /lh#idk i just hate how they stare at me sometimes its been 4 years since ive started playing and i still feel like im being watched#it might be a me thing idk#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me swd#obey me shall we date#sevyn's thoughts
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rvb au where everything is the same but the soldiers on chorus all wear odst armor
#ideally they'd be in marine armor so felix locus and the pirates could be in odst armor but the limitations of machinima#or felix and locus could keep their armor but it's gotta be a plot point that it's reverse engineered pfl armor#which in turn can act as a plot point for the bgc + wash to be sus of felix instead of whatever they did in s11 bc that was lowkey semi ooc#as I've mentioned somewhere in a past post#like i get it the guys were stranded and desperate and lina and epsilon were mia but they weren't THAT bad off#or blue team wasn't at least since wash was being petty af and didn't bother to tell the reds that he hooked blue base up to the ships power#also tucker and caboose being in on it would be so funny#wash: im not going to hook up the reds for.....reasons#tuck and boose: lol okay. fuck those guys! (affectionate)#rvb#red vs blue#not t/oaru#will maybe rb this later w some art examples but atm I've gotta go out and garden and mulch the raised beds while it's not 85°f+ and humid#bc lemme tell yall the summer is brutal. i hate going to water the garden when it's so hot out
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You guys don’t know how much yearning for Baghdad takes up of my mental real estate
#I have so many videos saved of last year’s trip#Me and my cousin laughing and joking w my dad while getting ready#The fact that multiple men asked my dad for my hand in marriage (lmao)#Me calling my mom every night to make fun of my “suitors”#All the gorgeous restaurants#Forcing my dad to rate every dress I tried on whenever he took me somewhere#Being catcalled by guys was an unpleasant experience but it was still fun to laugh ab it w my mom#Me having a MASSIVE crush on a family friend#That one time my dad said all the dresses I brought were too short so he bought me a dress that#Went down to literally my ankles#But the family friend was gonna be there so I showed it to my mom and she was like#“You’d wear that??? The queen of mini skirts????” And then she IMMEDIATELY clocked me and was like#Ur behaving strangely. U must have a crush. Who is it.#The hot fuckin summer nights that I spent sitting outside w my cousin on the big swing in the garden#The capital when it was drenched in sunset#When my aunt’s husband took me to the University of Baghdad and I got to literally play act being a student there#Which was a profound experience bc it’s the university my mom went to#Sneaking into the library even though u needed a student pass for that (:#Shadowing my uncle in his laboratory#My first ever nishan !!!#No weddings sadly but I got to see the buildup to the wedding so#And I think getting to call the shots and fly solo from the states to Amman and then to Baghdad was sick as hell#My mom never let me fly abroad by myself before and now im probably gonna be going solo all the time#Help I need to go back#Bro I wish I could drop everything#But before I go to Baghdad I’ll probably have to go to Belgium first for my uncle#SO many stops before I get to where I rly wanna be#I never explicitly told my dad im not religious but I think he already knows im full of sin. Memories..#Omg and my bibi’s delicious food
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" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)
#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry)#meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene?#or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way#i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down#the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'.#smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the#very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out#wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel#quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg#but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o#angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff...#and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a#rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about#binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like#behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face#and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye.#this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways#//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby.#hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix..#if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O..#oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already#mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow?#hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to#beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look#more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw#adamandi#quincy cynthius martin#vincent aurelius lin#tw knife
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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WAIT BIG BRAINED THOUGHT:
Sam does smth stupid hoping Dean won't find out.
Someone rats Sam out to Dean.
Sam gets in trouble and a lecture from Dean (bc Dean is a parent and he is Sam's parent I will not accept criticism on this matter).
Later, Sam makes a group chat consisting of everyone who could have told on him to Dean and just sends this video:
#supernatural#spn#dean winchester#sam winchester#dean winchester is sam winchester's parent#and i will be accepting NO criticism on this matter!!!!#dean raised sam and in my heart i just know that its smth they dont really talk abt but they both 100% know and acknowledge it#and sam (the annoying little brother/kid) that he is to dean definitely calls dean 'mom' sometimes especially when hes being a little shit#but sam also loves his big brother and appreciates everything deans done and given up for him#so every year dean gets a pie and a little homemade card on mother's day and father's day from sam#when they were younger sam would give dean the card and actually say 'happy mother's/father's day dean' but once theyre older sam starts#sneaking the pie and card into dean's room or leaving them somewhere he knows dean will find them and neither of them say anything but dean#always gives sam a soft smile and usually a hug too before they continue w/ their day like its any other#the year dean spends w/ lisa and ben while sam's in hell/running around soulless ben makes dean a father's day card and dean gets all teary#and thanks him but then later when hes alone he just breaks down sobbing bc it just remimds him that sammy is gone#even when sam was at stanford and not really talking to dean he still sent dean a short message (text email voicemail whatever) on mother's#and father's day but now hes gone and dean wont even get that#btw dean def saves all of the cards sam's made him over the years and once theyre in the bunker he keeps them all in a special box that he#hides under his bed and he'll pull it out and look through them when hes having a bad day alongside the box of pictures <3#i did not mean to go insane in the tags here but oh well#enjoy my silly post and unhinged rambling ig
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she’s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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Thinking again about my plans for Vash and Knives in ITNL
Which I can't really get into the specifics for How I'm going to do things w/o going into spoiler territory. But I Do have Vash & Knives tagged on the fic for a reason. I set up in the first chapter that Vash is determined to try to save Knives too.
Which. That choice, as well as the entire basis for all of this, depends so much on that final fight in trimax. The one that was literally a scene away from where ITNL Vash went back in time. His mentality just a hair's width away from that...
At the end of trimax, there was reconciliation, however brief and incomplete it was. In ITNL, my question to myself was How could I induce that again? Under different circumstances, How Else could we get there? And that is the long-game in ITNL.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#i say reconciliation instead of redemption. because i think redemption is a difficult thing to capture well.#and it would require Knives to feel remorse or regret for his actions. which i dont think he would really.#but. potentially. if the stars align. maybe his goals can be redirected into something productive.#and maybe reconciliation can be achieved. just maybe.#the redirection here is important bc i dont think Knives would abandon his ideals Even If Vash got thru to him#but the key is convincing him that theres another way. that he can protect the plants w/o killing humanity.#easier said than done though. vash and knives are two peas in a pod after all. so incredibly stubborn.#but vash would want to try. because he Doesnt want to kill anyone. not even knives. though if it ended up necessary.....#well. better to try for reconciliation first. that one's as a last resort lol.#ultimately vash Does miss his brother. we see this at the end of trimax. that's the crux of that moment i think. for both of them.#realizing that once upon a time they only had each other. they were Brothers. they were Close. and they both Miss That.#those feelings were buried under miles of anger and resentment on both sides. but under the right circumstances.....#thats why it's important that ITNL was a hair's width away from that scene. bc he was on the verge of having that realization himself.#i replaced that moment with ITNL vash feeling thru the plant conglomerate the whole of knives' self. and his Realization.#the Knowledge that the brother he used to love is still in there somewhere. but he also wouldnt be able to survive this.#and thus his about-turn from 'nothing remained of the brother he loved. he had to stop him.' to 'i'm sorry. i'll save you too.'#hfalhxksd ultimately it's all so FINICKY and ive barely touched on it so far in ITNL. bc Knives has been off in the goop tube or whatever#but ive given it a Lot of thought. and id be so close to Getting There... to the next steps at least... if i kept writing.#hrrgmg. i am Thinking Thoughts...
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i love being a stem i love being flamboyantly masculine it's so fun. (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚i had a good outing this afternoon getting RSOs and then checking out the mall here n getting a cinnamon roll finally omg.
I've been craving one so bad for a few days aksjak i was anxious abt going to the mall bc i haven't been to one in Months or maybe a year, but i didn't need to be 🙈 it's the middle of the day on a random Tuesday, of the relatively few ppl who were here they were gassing me up 😤💕
#I've never been somewhere w this many other black folk Too and that's been so so nice omfg#there were Not a lot of us in my hometown it was predominantly Mexican and then Seattle was v white lol..#i didn't get to say what's up as often yk? let alone get hyped up like this (。ノω\。) it makes me extra happy when it's coming#from black folk ♡ ✌🏾😏 other ppl hyped me up too though. omg remembering walking out the dispensary and had this van#of old ladies that pulled up hooting and hollering 💀💕 aksjakak could hear one of them going god Damn. thank u thank u#they talked among themselves but i wasn't that nosy. my nature to be a lil nosy is weaker than my desire to get little treat#oughghhh cimmanin rol... okok 🫡#bye
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every now and then i experience brief moments of self-awareness telling me to make major changes to the fusionsprunt story
#queue#maybe it has to do with this need of visualizing it as an actual tv show. it's not necessarily a bad thing#it's so much fun to question what would happen if a specific part was rewritten or twisted into smth else. how would it work and all#for example. i've been thinking. what if Hunter was an actual robot? how does his interaction with Exocannis and B2 change bcs of it? :0#i dont think that part will be rewritten but it's an interesting possibility#one thing i wanted to change is Gideon's lore though!#the way he disregards B2 doesn't sit right w me (and ig it didn't with everyone else who read the lore)#also! there's not much info about his childhood. it was nice until BOO TRAUMAAA.#overall i wanted to introduce him some other way. the way Gideon Rigell would do!#perhaps with a little comic? a loose dialogue in an artwork of sorts#comparing him to who he is currently is like going. wow! good job buddy ur getting better! but also you should probably seek therapy...#as for B2. i have some ideas.#some times i enjoy exploring new designs in which she looks VERY non-human or has some sort of non-human mentality#a true alien!#i wanna redesign her siblings and make all of them have an 'x' somewhere in their names#what if Beatrix had 4 siblings? what if she was the 'youngest'? what if they were all created by the same person#a person who was responsible for their creation but who also treated them like their own children#some kind of enthusiastic visionary with a passion for robotics who genuinely cared for machines. even 'mindless' ones#Also B2's relation to the Holloway Comet#like no. that's the. that's The Mother. that's the mother guys that's UNQUESTIONABLE#im talking about Monument Mythos vibes yknow. about giant n terrifying monuments/objects#i'm also cooking up ideas for comics focused solely on Bee#oneshots of sorts.... i should probably start sketching......#why am i having good ideas when i barely slept last night HSBWYSBWHDBHQHASSHHA#starbstalks
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actually stunned by how gay The Beatles has been all this time and I just never knew
#like its always just been there in my life but i just never paid attention#my university roomie was obsessed w them and had several beatles posters that i looked at every day#so stuff like the pictures of them from the let it be album are like engrained into my brain#and yet i never knew the lore??#nor did i know until recently that they were actually all high school buds nor did i know they wrote their own music#nor that they genuinely basically invented modern bands n using the studio the way they did etc. so all that was very impressive and cool#but THEN on top of that omg the angsty gayness of john and paul#like all i knew previously basically was that john was a thing w yoko ono and paul had a young wife recently#i had at one point heard of people shipping j&p together and was just kinda like wow i guess people will ship anything#I DIDNT KNOW#that they were actually like that cute and that insane together and that their song writing together was like an actual marriage#anywayz the old pictures and videos of them are just like jesus look how they look at each other i dont think it was just being bros#i am sort of in the camp of they prob didn't act on it for real but there was def some insane tension/chemistry going on#and then ofc once youre aware of this their songs take on so many possible meanings outside of just singing about their gfs and wives....#anyways i just have to vent about this somewhere bc im actually shocked at how this has just passed me by all these years#and it definitely was not on my bingo card for 2024 to fixate on the beatles but here we are lol#more proof to me that my ultimate fave trope or wtv is 'besties to enemies when really they actually probably wanted to be lovers'#gets me every time!!!!#whats been fun about this rabbit hole is how just every single one of my expectations has been reversed as well#i went in assuming i would like them best in this order:#(1) george (2) ringo (3) paul and (4) john#i was sure i would hate john i thought he sounded so pretentious and like such a douche#but no actually he is my fave one and it's literally in reverse order for me i find george my least fave#(i like his music and feel bad for how he got ignored in the band but i like him the least)#and then i literally am john paul ringo george in order of faves now#i just love when i get surprised like that idk it keeps me on my toes and keeps things exciting and fresh#and yes john is indeed pretentious and a douche but i didn't know he was also funny and vulnerable and that i like his voice and songs#the most in the bunch almost every time as well#the beatles#p
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