#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Half the floor is tiled! Now I have space to put all my bullshit so I have room to tile the other half!

Anticipating stupid questions and comments so you don't have to waste both our time typing them out:

Sure, whatever weird eldritch bullshit you think about this normal arse room makes you super perceptive. Ooooh it's dark outside maybe there's a face in the old chicken coop spoooky. Yes I'm standing next to the glass door (creepy for some reason) to take this photo woooooo. Oh no my low ceiling is gonna getcha!

Yes I'm doing the half tile thing at the bottom instead of putting the skirting boards back. This is because it makes cleaning easier (so many of my decisions come down to what would be easiest to clean) and acts as some waterproofing protection against the plasterboard walls given that the room is at a slight slope. If you think it looks too much like a bathroom or whatever other stupid reason you have for disliking it then you are objectively wrong, my decision was correct and my design taste is impeccable.

I haven't tiled the whole back wall yet because I'm eventually gonna get Ceiling Man to put a doorway there. No point in putting up tiles that he's going to have to knock down again.

I wanted more of a clay tile look, maybe something in brown or terracotta, but unfortunately I suffer from a condition known as Web Serial Author and thus have a limited budget. I chose these tiles based on the sophisticated interior design rule of "holy shit they're the actual size I want (rare at bunnings) half the price per metre of everything else available". If I decide I hate em in a few years, I'll paint em. I might love them like this; it's impossible to tell until the furniture is in.

My tiles are SUPER even and perfect. If you spot any misaligned tiles then fuck you, you're seeing them wrong. I'm so good at tiling.

Yes I know one of the lightbulbs on the wall is blown. I haven't been down to Bunnings in person to get a new one yet.

The one on the ceiling is not blown it's just not switched on so don't @ me about it.

I think this website is making me paranoid about follower responses.

[bbokicidal]

All About You | SKZ [B.C.]

Summary: Chan as a Service Top

Headcanons Genre: Purely Smut Pairing: Bangchan x Afab!Reader Warnings: Submissive!Chan but not really.. Dominant!Reader? Neither parties are too dominant. Riding, Chan topping, Reader giving Chan instructions, etc.

The definition of a 'Service Top' fluctuates; To some it means a Top who wants to be bossed around and instructed, to others it means a Top who wants to fulfill their partners wishes even if they dislike the kink/fetish, and to some it's just a top who is softer than most dominants.

You realize after the first few times of having sex with Chan that he doesn't really like doing some of the things you've explored in the past; He's too shy to initiate anything unless he's tipsy, he's not super grabby, he refuses to pin you down or put his hand around your throat. He prefers to let you take the lead.

When questioned about it, he's so shy. He pushes his hands down between his thighs before reaching to rub at the nape of his neck, the tips of his ears pink as he gently explains to you that he's never really been an overly dominant person in the bedroom - and he's a little afraid you'll be disappointed. He's sexy, built like a God - and unwilling to take control of you.

But when you smile and reassure him that it's totally okay - that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to - he seems to relax. He looks over at you with the kindest, gentlest eyes and a smile that makes his dimples pop as you tell him that he's more than welcome to ask questions, tell you what he likes, etc. And he feels so over the moon just knowing you're not upset with him about it.

Chan's favorite position is you on top of him; Riding him until he's pink in the cheeks, his hands resting on your hips but not pushing or pulling at you. He loves seeing you on top, using his body just to please yourself and not caring much about how he feels (even if he is also in Heaven.) And, of course, sitting on his face. He's leaking cum just a minute or two after you begin to roll your hips down against his tongue. He's obsessed with it - loves being suffocated underneath you and letting you hump his mouth.

He gets off on you praising him. Not too much, though. He likes to hear how good he makes you feel, how you're going to get addicted to his cock because it fills you up so good - or how his body is just a toy for you to use to get off.

Actually, Chan really, really loves when you call him your toy. Only in the bedroom, of course. But he does get all blushy when you make comments like, "Think I might use a toy when I'm done cleaning up after dinner." and then spare him a glance. He knows exactly what that means and while you finish up dishes, he'll run to the bedroom to lay down and get ready for you.

He also loves being told what to do - that's the whole point of being a service top, right? Being told what to do, how to do it, when to do what.

Though, Chan prefers when you're more gentle with him when it comes to instructions. He likes when you ask him to do something instead of demanding it because it makes the moment feel more intimate, more romantic. It makes him feel more comfortable when he's on top of you.

If you're on top, he's fine with you barking at him to fuck up into you faster or harder - But if he's on top, please be gentle with your words. He's doing the best he can and he's there solely for your pleasure.

A lot of the times Chan doesn't even care if he gets off or not. If you're happy and three orgasms in while he hasn't even come once, it's totally fine! He doesn't mind because, again, he's there to please you and you only. He doesn't care if he gets to release or not.

But adding onto that, Chan can come just from you being pleased. If he's fucking you and you're whimpering, writhing, moaning out his name and creaming around his cock - Yeah, he's probably going to come. Not even from the feeling, though it is very nice, but from the fact that he's the one making you feel that good.

On the occasion that Chan does take control and takes the lead, which is mostly when you're too tired or stressed about something to boss him around, he's still as soft as ever - but he'll have sex with you in a more.. love-making manner. He wants to make sure you feel good still and especially during these moments he's more focused on your pleasure than anything else. He'll use your favorite toys, be gentler with you, kiss over your skin and whisper how much he loves you. He'll also be more vocal during these times because he knows just how much you love to hear his voice.

I really don't have much experience writing or actually experiencing anything service top related so I'm sorry if these aren't the best. I tried!

Permanent Taglist :

@dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground

@thatonedarkskinnedsiren @oc3anfloor @theyadorevalerie

@jeonginsleftcheek

[solarmorrigan]

3 & 4 steddie? I love everyone's takes on eddie interacting with steve after the halloween party in s2💛

So! A thing about me is that I'm actually not always comfortable writing about drinking. The "why" of it is kind of a moving target, and I really should have just nixed "drunk" as an option in the tags, so that's my bad D: But! I think I got the rest of your prompt in pretty alright??

4. Cry - Eddie &/ Steve

-

Eddie had only been looking for a quiet place to smoke. Business is great at parties like this, but sometimes he needs a break from all the hubbub. The backyard had been milling with people, but as Eddie had trailed out towards the edge of the property, close to the tree line of the woods behind the house, the crowds had dwindled to nothing, leaving undisturbed peace in their wake.

At least, Eddie had thought so.

It takes a minute for him to notice the new noise – the soft, inconsistent huffs of air working counter to the sound of the whispering breeze. It’s the sound of someone gasping, he realizes, cold anxiety beginning to pool in his gut.

Is someone hurt? Had some drunken idiot wandered out back here, maybe fallen or run into a tree and injured themselves? Were they too hurt to get back up? But, no – as Eddie gets closer to the source of the noise, it becomes clear it isn’t pained gasping, it’s the hitched-breath sound of sobbing.

And just as he starts to think maybe he should just give this person their privacy, let them have a good cry in peace like they clearly intended, he rounds a tree and sees exactly who it is that’s come out into the woods in their lament.

He can’t see the face, but even in the half-light spilling out from the house, the head of hair is unmistakable: Eddie’s just crashed Steve Harrington’s private backwoods breakdown.

For a moment, Eddie is frozen, unsure of what to do. He feels a little like Actaeon stumbling across Diana bathing in the forest, and at any moment he’s going to be turned into a stag for witnessing something he shouldn’t have (and take that, Mrs. Davis – he does pay attention in English class. To the cool parts, at least). Except it doesn’t seem like Steve has noticed him yet, still wrapped up in whatever’s got him miserable, so maybe Eddie can just make a clean getaway? Pretend none of this ever happened?

Intending to do just that, he takes one careful step back and puts his foot down directly on what is apparently the loudest twig in existence. The crack of it rings out like an alarm, and Steve’s head snaps up, his cheeks shining wet in the low light, glancing around frantically until his eyes land on Eddie.

“Uh,” Eddie says, raising one careful hand in greeting. “Hey.”

That seems to knock Steve back into action. He swears, reaching up to wipe roughly at his face, running a hand through his hair, probably trying desperately to look like he hadn’t just been crying. Eddie figures he should probably let him, give him some plausible deniability, pretend he hadn’t been able to see anything in the dark, that he hadn’t heard anything at all. Except now that he’s here, Eddie finds he can’t quite leave well enough alone. He’s curious.

And maybe he feels a little bad for the guy. Just a little. He looks sort of devastated from where Eddie is standing, eyes wide and wet, cheeks red, hair disheveled (but still goddamn pretty. How is that even fair?).

“You, uh… You okay?” Eddie tries, feeling a little lame in the attempt.

“Yeah,” Steve snaps, running a hand down over his face again. “I’m fine.”

Clearly.

“Did you come here with someone?” Eddie asks. “Like… someone I can go get?”

“What? I’m not drunk or anything, man, I’m fine,” Steve huffs, leaning back against the tree he’d been half-hidden behind, shoulders still slumped.

“No, yeah, I just – like, whatever’s going on with you, I figured maybe a friend would be… better,” Eddie says, waving a hand vaguely at Steve, who scoffs at him. “Wait– Wheeler. You came with her, didn’t you?”

That doesn’t get an answer – not a verbal one, anyway. All Steve does is sniffle and glance away.

“Ah,” Eddie finds himself nodding, speaking before he can stop himself, “trouble in paradise?”

Steve scoffs again. “You know what?” he asks harshly. “When your girlfriend says you’re bullshit, and that your love is bullshit, and blames you for her friend dying, you start to think that maybe there was no paradise to begin with.”

Eddie blinks. That’s a lot to process. “I thought Holland ran away?” he asks after a moment, because apparently that’s the thing to focus on.

“Right. Ran away,” Steve spits out, and that’s – hm.

What do you know that I don’t, Steve Harrington? Eddie wonders.

He doesn’t ask, of course, because nosy as he is, Eddie also has a healthily developed sense of self preservation, and this seems like the sort of thing he shouldn’t be prying into.

“That’s kinda fucked up, man,” he says instead. “She seriously accuse you of that?”

Steve shrugs, says nothing, but still looks miserable enough that Eddie would believe it. Whatever went down between Steve and Nancy had clearly been a hell of a mess. He isn’t entirely sure why he cares (his persistent soft spot for strays is honestly a bitch sometimes), but he finds he doesn’t want to leave Steve like this, depressed and alone in the woods on Halloween.

He reaches into his jacket pocket and withdraws his pack of cigarettes, shaking two out into his hand. Steve tenses when Eddie takes a few steps closer, but the only thing Eddie does is offer him a cigarette. There’s a moment of confused staring, eyes flicking between Eddie’s face and the cigarette in his hand, but eventually Steve reaches out to take it.

Eddie takes a chance, leaning in a little closer to offer him a light, and Steve takes it, the warmth of his face near Eddie’s cupped palm feeling almost as strong as the flame from the lighter.

Eddie drops his hand as soon as the cigarette is lit. He needs to get a grip. He lights his own cigarette and takes a drag.

“Thanks,” Steve croaks once he’s blown out his first breath of smoke.

“Don’t mention it,” Eddie replies.

They smoke in silence for a minute, watching the backlit figures of drunken teenagers churn in and out of the house before them.

“Maybe she’s right,” Steve finally says.

“Hm?” Eddie glances over at him, but Steve is glaring at the ground.

“Love,” Steve sneers. “Maybe it’s really just bullshit.”

And something about that just hits Eddie wrong. Maybe he’s never believed in love, as such—not the way it’s described in poetry or sung about in ballads or written about in shlocky romance novels—but Steve clearly does. Anyone who’s been around him and Nancy for more than a minute in the last year could see that. For it to be otherwise feels like it goes against the natural order.

“Nah,” Eddie says. “Love is out there, man. The real shit, y’know? Stuff worth fighting for.”

Steve lets out a little snort, more amused than derisive, flicking ash off the end of his cigarette. “You’re not a romantic, Munson,” he says, so sure of himself – which is fair.

“Oh, I’m a cynic through and through, baby,” Eddie says, grinning when Steve gives him a little laugh. “But you – you’re a romantic. You don’t really believe that love is bullshit. And you shouldn’t.”

Subsiding, Steve leans back against his tree, taking another drag of his cigarette like he’s stalling for time. “Why do you care what I believe?” he finally asks.

Eddie shrugs. “The world needs people like you. Romantics. Dreamers. You keep people like us pessimists from collapsing beneath the weight of our own dark souls.”

“What?” Steve coughs out, really laughing this time, and Eddie smiles right along with him.

“Just saying,” he offers.

Steve shakes his head. “Okay, drama kid. And I’m guessing people like you – what? Help people like me keep our feet on the ground?”

“Sure,” Eddie says. “Everyone needs a rock now and then. A nice solid foundation to start from.”

“Hm,” Steve hums, finishing off his cigarette as Eddie does the same. “Well – you’re, uh. You’re a pretty good rock, Eddie. Thanks.”

“Yeah, man,” Eddie says, pretending that the weird little compliment hadn’t made him light up just a bit. “Don’t mention it.”

And Steve doesn’t, but the smile he gives Eddie – well. What’s something else.

[billieeilishismywifey]

Hair dye

Description- your billies girlfriend and your dying her hair

The sharp scent of bleach lingers in the air as you run your gloved fingers through Billie's roots, carefully applying the dye. She's slouched in your chair, scrolling through her phone with one leg tucked up, but you don't miss the way she keeps sneaking glances at you through the mirror.

"You're staring," you say without looking up, parting her hair to get an even section.

Billie smirks. "I'm admiring."

You roll your eyes, but you can't fight the grin tugging at your lips. "Uh-huh. And what exactly are you admiring?"

She hums as if considering. "The way your nose scrunches up when you concentrate... how cute you look in those gloves... the fact that you're literally elbow-deep in hair dye and still somehow the hottest person in the room."

You pause, raising a brow at her reflection. "Billie."

"What?" she grins, tilting her head slightly. "It's true."

You shake your head, biting back a smile as you brush a stray strand away from her face. "Flattery won't get you out of sitting under the dryer, babe."

She groans dramatically. "But it's so boring."

"You say that every time," you tease. "Yet here we are."

Billie sighs, dropping her phone into her lap. "Fine. But you owe me cuddles after."

You snort. "I'm literally doing your hair, and now I owe you something?"

She turns her head, ignoring the way you huff at her for moving. "Yeah, 'cause watching you like this is torture. You're so close, and I can't even touch you."

Your cheeks heat up, and you play it off with a dramatic sigh. "The struggle."

She pouts, leaning back again. "You love me."

You glance at her through the mirror, your heart doing that annoying little flip it always does when she looks at you like that. Soft. Playful. Completely in love.

You smile. "Yeah, I do."

Billie grins triumphantly. "Then hurry up so I can kiss you properly."

And with that, you get back to work—because if there's one thing you can't resist, it's Billie Eilish with freshly dyed roots and a promise of kisses.

The timer ticks down as Billie lounges under the dryer, dramatically slouched with her arms crossed. Every few minutes, she peeks at you through heavy-lidded eyes, waiting for you to do something—anything—that isn't ignoring her and focusing on cleaning up your workstation.

"You're so mean," she huffs, stretching her legs out and wiggling her socked toes at you. "Making me sit here all alone."

You snort, tossing a used towel into the bin. "All alone? Babe, I'm literally five feet away."

"Too far," she mumbles.

You roll your eyes fondly, then walk over and lean against the counter beside her. "Patience, my love. You'll be free soon."

Billie lifts her head slightly, eyeing you with a mischievous glint. "You're lucky I love you."

"I am lucky," you say, giving her a soft smile. "And you're lucky I love you enough to deal with your dramatic ass every time we do your hair."

She gasps, feigning offense. "Excuse me, I am not dramatic."

"Babe." You cross your arms. "Two weeks ago, you had a meltdown over your bangs being 'slightly uneven.'"

Billie glares. "That was a crisis."

You snicker, reaching out to run your fingers through the uncolored parts of her hair. "I swear, you're worse than my other clients."

She smirks. "Yeah, but do you let them kiss you?"

You narrow your eyes. "No."

Billie leans forward slightly. "Do you love them?"

"Also no."

"Do they get to see you looking this cute while you work?" she teases, tugging playfully at the hem of your shirt.

You tilt your head, pretending to think. "Mmm... nope. Just you."

Her smirk softens into a genuine smile, and for a second, neither of you speak. The dryer hums in the background, filling the space as Billie watches you like you're the only thing in the room that matters.

Finally, the timer beeps.

You clap your hands together. "Alright, Miss Impatient, let's rinse you out."

Billie grins and practically jumps out of her seat. "Finally."

You guide her to the sink, gently tilting her head back as warm water flows over her hair. Your fingers move through her roots, rinsing out the dye, and Billie sighs contently.

"If you weren't already my girlfriend, I think I'd fall in love with you just from this," she murmurs, eyes fluttering shut.

You chuckle. "So, you only love me because I do your hair?"

She peeks one eye open. "Nah, I love you because you're hot and you do my hair."

You flick a bit of water at her face.

She yelps. "Hey!"

"Love you too," you say sweetly, laughing as you continue rinsing.

And as Billie giggles under your touch, eyes bright and full of affection, you realize there's nowhere else you'd rather be.

[sidemari]

Aftercare Headcanons

Characters included: Hwei, Jinx, Kayn, Viktor, Yone x GN!Reader

Author's notes: I hope you enjoy this and forgive me any mistakes! Let me know if you have any requests about this fandom.

Picture: https://br.pinterest.com/pin/8585055533861864/

Hwei

He can get clingy after sex, mainly because he feels extremely safe by your side.

He will usually make sure that everything is okay with you, if you felt respected and satisfied with the way he made you feel and especially if you are in need of something specific.

After sex, he will always treat you as if you were the most fragile and most lovable person in the world.

Compliments and declarations of love are his strong point. Hwei will murmur words of reassurance and express what he feels for you almost as if he were reciting poetry.

"Whenever I'm alone with you… You make me feel like I'm whole again." He kissed your lips slowly before climbing back on top of you, straddling your lap, and looking at you with eyes full of love and desire. "I can't get enough of you… Let me keep loving you."

"Touch me, yeah." You guided his hand to your chest. "Make me feel like I'm alive again."

Jinx

Usually Jinx will openly proclaim how essential you are for her to feel grounded in such a chaotic and cruel world.

Regardless of how hectic, overwhelming and overstimulating your sex was, she makes sure you know that just being by your side after such an intimate moment is just as good, if not infinitely better than loving you all night.

She will reassure you as she worships your body, compliments how beautiful you are and talks about how your expressions and bodily reactions are extremely precious to her.

"Remember when we first met as kids?" Her voice was a mere whisper.

"Yeah, I do. I'll always remember that day." You pulled her for a delicate kiss yet still trying to get as much as you could of her before parting for air.

"That night… You ran into my heart so carelessly, so abruptly… And…" You encouraged her to continue by caressing her cheek with affection. "And fuck… I'm glad I was wondering those streets at dawn for I met you and now I can't imagine a future where we don't belong together."

Kayn

It's not uncommon for you to feel overstimulated after having sex with Kayn. He's a passionate lover, his touches are almost desperate, his kisses are needy and fervent and he's not at all ashamed to admit that he loves to break you whenever the mood allows.

That said, the aftercare he usually provides you is to try to meet your needs as best he can.

He always cleans you with soft towels while you regain enough energy to get up and take a shower. He'll usually bring you water or some other drink of your choice or even something for you to eat, if that's what you want.

Some of the comments about the marks he's capable of leaving on your body are made to tease you, because he knows you get embarrassed. And if there's anything as good as having you under him, completely under his control, it's seeing the way you behave when you're embarrassed.

"You're mine." He whispered against your neck before returning to suck it, finishing the last mark of the night.

"Kayn… This is going to be hard to hide."

"That's the point." He fell beside you, pulling your body against his. "Do you want me to make you a hot chocolate in a little while?"

"You're trying to distract me from the fact that you marked me in every way possible today."

"Maybe, but… A hot chocolate would be nice right now, wouldn't it?" He kissed your shoulder before chuckling softly.

Viktor

Already posted this as an alone work, but wanted to add here as well.

He's the kind of guy who cares about your well-being before, during, and after you have sex.

It's not uncommon for him to stay with your body cuddled against his while your heavy breathing and overstimulation slowly fade away.

Cuddles, words of reassurance, slow and affectionate kisses, massages wherever you may be sore and a relaxing bath together after sex are essential for him to show you how absurdly perfect and important you are to him.

One of the greatest proofs of love that Viktor can show you is to sleep next to you (always after you, due to his protective instinct) and stay by your side all night, making sure to still be with you when you wake up, even if he has countless responsibilities and unfinished projects.

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

"Good morning, Vitya." His fingers stroked your hair as you wiped the sleep from your eyes.

"Thank you for yesterday. You were absolutely perfect." A certain embarrassment took over you at the compliment, making you hide your face against his neck, inhaling that welcoming scent.

"Maybe I'll have to drag you out of your lab more often." You murmured.

Yone

He cares about you a lot, that's the essence of him as your partner. You always come first and even though you insist that he deserves to let himself be vulnerable and be taken care of by you, Yone prefers to provide you with everything you need before thinking about himself.

He carefully checks to see if he left any marks on you that might be sore later, apologizing as he gently kisses the marked spots.

Usually you stay silent after sex, just enjoying each other's company and warmth.

Every single time Yone caresses your hair until you relax enough to sleep and occasionally murmurs an "I love you" when he thinks you've already fallen asleep.

"I love you so much." He murmured against your hair.

"I love you so much too, Yone." You whispered back, snuggling even closer against his chest.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I want to enjoy this moment with you a little longer. It's been so long since…" Your voice voice went quiet.

"Yes, I know." His hand rested on your thigh, caressing it. "But I'm here now and I'll never leave your side again."

Other works of mine:

https://www.tumblr.com/sidemari/770889163155357696/love-hurts?source=share (Viktor x Fem!Reader)

https://www.tumblr.com/sidemari/770262867164512256/reunited?source=share (Viktor x Fem!Reader)

https://www.tumblr.com/sidemari/770344104203862016/hii-ur-smut-is-scrumptious-can-you-do-size?source=share (Jinx x Fem!Reader)

Songs I've been inspired by to write this work:

The Cure - Lovesong

Pearl Jam - Black

Dream, Ivory - Welcome and goodbye

The Neighborhood - A little death

[chiyana]

I've kind of elected to just... pretend the houseboat doesn't exist. Like I've mentally blocked it out of my head as a part of canon, because it just doesn't make sense to me for Tim as a person, unless it's used to signify Tim being at his absolute lowest point mentally. If Tim is in the houseboat it should be a sign that he is doing Incredibly Fucking Badly and needs an intervention. The houseboat is small, it's not in a great area, the boat itself is sketchy to the extent that it's called a 'murderboat' (or if not that then it's equated to a place a serial killer would either live or kill people on), like... that does not read to me as Tim being independent or his own person, that reads to me as a cry for help. It's the equivalent of Tim being so deep in depression that he hasn't cleaned up his room or moved from his bed in weeks.

Even if Tim himself doesn't want or need a ton of space or a big fancy apartment (debatable), he understands the importance of keeping up appearances and hiding his actions as a vigilante under 'perfectly normal civilian doing nothing shady at all nope nothing to see here!' In no way does a rich kid living in a sketchy tiny houseboat alone NOT raise all the red flags. Like even if he's not clocked as Robin, I'd still say most people would assume 'oh he's either in the grips of a heroin addiction or he's straight up killing people on there'.

Also Tim's a tricky little planner, and he's a vigilante! He had a secret entrance built into Drake Manor so he could get to and from the BatCave as quickly as possible in case something came up. He had an apartment after the BruceQuest when he was Red Robin (I may be misremembering the exact sequence of events but it was in that era), and he got a really nice and expensive place and immediately built his own version of the BatCave into it. There's no way to do something like that on a houseboat - either the room or the security - and it's not convenient for what he needs. There isn't an easy way off it and into Gotham where the action is without people noticing, or without wasting time being stealthy.

Double also, Tim's a car guy, not a boat guy! Why would he get a 'house' where he can't keep a car or at least a bike, where there's no space to work on it? Double also again, yeah, Tim likes being around people and around friends! The houseboat takes him away from everyone, and there's no space for people to come visit or crash at his place!

Release my son from that terrible fucking houseboat and put him back on dry land where he belongs.

I have a controversial take I can't stand the fucking houseboat.

Like is it comedic sure but motherfucker, you are a millionaire at least and you choose to live in a stupid ass fucking boat some rich people don't deserve money and his name is Tim Drake.

Like Bruce lives in a fucking manor and here's Tim i'm gonna be gay in my boat like buy a yacht and go the fuck home. 

I just can't. I just fucking can't.

I genuinely can't actually explain why I hate the boat so much but I really fucking hate that boat like I hate that boat almost as much as I hate like the Joker.

Like if I had a gun and there were two bullets, I would find a way to sink that fucking boat and the joker would get to live. I would pull a Batman sorry Jason you're murderer gets to live because I need to kill your brother's fucking boat. 

Like it's the same logic of Dick having that shitty blud Haven apartment.

Like you fuckers are Nepo babies stop trying to pretend you're poor.

I did not mean to go on a rant, but this bothers me like I don't know why but why do I feel like Tim Drake would be that kid to go that's my dad's money as if you don't benefit from it. You piece of shit.

Oh my God, I'm gonna become a Tim Drake anti if I ever have to see that fucking boat again I swear to God.

* I figured out why I went on this rant I had to pay bills today. Like if I had $1 million I wouldn't be on a fucking boat.

[kxsagi]

"𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐞"

imagine college student! sae itoshi calmly walking to his first class of the day after morning soccer practice, annoyed that it was a mandatory public speaking class. then comes you, college student! reader who’s rushing to a cafe, balancing your bag, phone, and your first iced coffee of the day. 

you hear one of your friends call your name opposite of the direction in which you’re walking, so being the bubbly person you are, you turn around and greet them back. but as soon as you turn back forward on your path, you’re colliding with someone, drenching his ironed white-collared long sleeve shirt in coffee. 

embarrassed, you do the normal thing: apologize profusely, taking out a spare hand towel from your backpack to help him clean up the mess. however, since you’re in a rush, you don’t even think about taking it back until he says, “your hand towel?”

“oh yes, that’s right!” you turn back around, still apologizing earnestly, when you accidentally step on your own untied shoelace and an uneven part of the sidewalk. as you stumble forward, your knee accidentally collides with his crotch at full force. it gets worse: your heavy bag swings forward and also hits him. 

college student! sae itoshi is crumpling to the ground in agony. you’re mortified, trying to help while apologizing all over again. he’s too pained to respond, just staring at you in disbelief. but after hearing “i’m so sorry!” over ten times, the corner of his lips turn upward into a smile, and a soft chuckle escapes him. is he actually amused by this? 

snapping out of your thoughts, you hear someone nearby throw out a sarcastic remark at the scene you two caused. “what a way to meet.” 

© 𝐤𝐱𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐢

a/n: this was inspired by “awww, like me or smth?” by @sheyfu!

[hxney-lemcn]

New Beginnings — OoT! Link x gn! reader

summary: some people have first meetings that happen twice. At least yours ends with a happy ending.

a/n: this was meant to be a brainrot blurb and got out of hand so its more of a ficlet than anything. bad summary ik, but it has a cute ending!

wc: 1.1k

Master List

The first time you met the hero of time you were standing guard in front of the entrance to Lon Lon Ranch. You had been hired by Ingo to make sure unsavory folks didn’t make their way in…which is hard when he catered to the most unsavory there was. With castle town taken over and the princess gone it seemed that Hyrule would never come back from being under Ganon’s thumb. Seeing the boy…man(?), who was around your age approach, you fixed your slouched posture, hand over the hilt of your sword. You eyed the young man in a green tunic wearily, asking him to state his business. With blue eyes filled with passion, looking a bit concerned even, you had decided to let him pass…perhaps he’ll help poor Malon who had been mistreated ever since you first started working. 

It was later that night when you had talked to Malon about the strange man when she explained that he had come seven years ago. How she had called him fairy boy due to the blue sprite that followed him about, and how she was glad to see him once more, even if the circumstances weren’t the best. You went to bed that night wondering why you couldn’t seem to get his determined expression out of your mind…it was too bad you had never seen him again.

The first time you met Link was when you were lugging two pails of milk, trying your hardest not to let a drop spill over. His bright blonde hair stood out against the rolling green of the hill that was Lon Lon Ranch. You had been hired as a stablehand by Talon, helping with any chore you could alongside his daughter Malon. You nodded towards the young man who watched you with curious eyes…odd. Ignoring him, you continued with your daily tasks, watching Malon greet him from the corner of your eye, curious as to who he was. 

Bonding was easy once he started to help out on the farm as well, finding yourself teasing him as he ran from the cuccos, when a horse tried to eat his hair, or when a cow just would not for the life of him let him clean her stall. You were quickly endeared by Link, feeling your heart drop every time he was called by the palace to help establish peace with one thing or another. You weren’t sure what the royal castle would want for a mere farmhand…it was odd. Link was odd…but you found that all the more charming.

You weren’t sure why the nickname slipped past your lips one day. Fairy boy. You hadn’t seen him with a fairy before, but for some reason it felt natural. The way Link whipped his head towards you, eyes wide and jaw slack, you felt as if you had made a mistake. You had tried to backtrack, explaining how it came out of nowhere, but he dropped it, merely shaking his head and muttering how he had an old fairy friend he was looking for. So it was only natural that the next time you went to Castle Town on a goods run, you had rushed to the library, searching all you could for fairies and anything related. Apparently they liked sweets and shiny objects, and would heal a person in great need. Interesting. 

You had asked Malon to help you place a small bowl of water with sugar cubes on the far side of the farm, lying through your teeth about how you always wanted to see a fairy in real life. Confused, but understanding she had helped. It had become a part of your routine from then on to check the bowl, asking any fairy that you caught if they had known Link or another fairy who knew him, and restocking it when necessary. You didn’t even know the name of the fairy you were searching for, but you were trying your best. As well as trying to keep your little mission under wraps, not wanting Malon to ask too many questions, and wishing to surprise Link if you ever do end up finding his old friend.

Too bad things didn’t seem to want to go your way. 

The sun had been setting, Malon was finishing up putting the animals away, Link had been called to Castle Town days ago, and you stood with two fairies, one sitting on your shoulder and the other flying around your face. You spoke in hushed whispers as the fairies returned in kind with bell-like jingles. You couldn’t understand a word they were saying, but they were trying their best with gestures and shapes…only for the one in front of you to join its friend on your shoulder, both huddling together. Confused, you turned around only to be face to face with Link, bandage covering his right eye. You felt your heart drop, hands instinctively rising to hold his face only to hesitate. 

Your worry clearly shined on your face as Link softly took your outstretched hand and placed it on his cheek, a warm blush littering his cheeks. Questions rolled off your tongue a mile a minute, asking your friend what had happened and if he was okay. A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, he had surely grown since you both were teens years ago, soothing your worries quietly with fond eyes. You were too panicked to notice. Timidly, one of the fairies flew off your shoulder, approaching the tall man. Link watched on warmly as it tried its best to heal any damage it could, letting Link take off the bandage. 

You had gasped at the sight, a fresh scar ran from the center of his forehead, over his eye, down to the center of his cheek. Your thumb gently caressed the raised skin, frustration bubbling under your skin. You had grown to love the man, romantically, platonically, you didn’t care, but you loved him one way or another, and it made you burn with rage every time he came back hurt. The other fairy who stayed on your shoulder tried to comfort you, jingling softly and hugging your cheek. They were lucky they were cute, as it tugged a small smile out of you. 

If you were to tell Link when he was the hero of time that he would end up not only courting, but marrying the attractive guard he met at Lon Lon Ranch all those years ago, he would have blushed and denied such claims. Yet fate is funny, as in this lifetime you had never really held a sword at all, more accustomed to carrying large crates and corralling animals. And you had decided that you wouldn’t mind being tied to such a man as him, merely stating that someone had to look after him. Even if he couldn’t provide you with all you were owed, you’d merely smile and tell him that all they wanted was him, and that was something he was more than willing to give you. His body, mind and soul were yours until the end of time.

[honeyscara]

— PM! reacting to their s/o wanting to leave the mafia(feat. Akutagawa, higuchi, tachihara, chuuya and gin)

Bungo stray dogs

C/w: angst, mentions of death

Akutagawa Ryunosukeּ ֶָ֢.

Silence. Deafening, suffocating silence.

You expect him to lash out, to let Rashomon flare up in rage, but he doesn’t move. He just stares at you, dark eyes unreadable, lips slightly parted like he didn’t hear you right.

“Say that again.”

You do. This time, his fingers twitch at his sides. You see it—the small, barely perceptible tremor in his hands. He clenches them into fists before you can comment on it.

“You’re a fool,” he mutters, voice low, trembling with something you can’t quite place. “There is no leaving. You should know that.”

You do know that. You know what happens to those who try.

He steps closer, and for a brief moment, you think he’s going to stop you—to trap you, to threaten you, to beg you. But he doesn’t. He just lifts a hand, almost touching your face… then lets it fall back to his side.

“If you go through with this,” he says, voice colder now, “don’t expect me to come after you.”

And yet, as you turn away, you feel his stare burning into your back.

As if he already knows—when the Port Mafia sends someone after you, it’ll be him.

Higuchi Ichiyouּ ֶָ֢.

“No.”

The word leaves her lips before she can stop it. Her whole body tenses, eyes wide, breath shallow like the wind’s just been knocked out of her.

“You… you don’t mean that. Right?”

Her voice wavers, hands reaching for yours—but she stops just short, like she’s afraid touching you will make you disappear.

You tell her you do. That you can’t keep living like this.

She laughs..a broken, breathless sound. ��You’re joking. You have to be joking, because you—” Her voice cracks.

She knows what happens to traitors. And she knows the higher-ups will find out, with or without her telling them.

“You can’t go,” she whispers, hands trembling as they finally grab yours. “Please. I—” Her throat tightens. “I can’t lose you.”

If you leave, she has to make a choice.Report you, or watch the person she loves be hunted down like an animal.

There is no right answer.

Chuuya Nakaharaּ ֶָ֢.

“You’re what?”

The bottle in his hand nearly slips, the liquid inside sloshing wildly. His usual composed demeanor shatters in an instant.

“You’re joking.” His voice is strained, desperate—pleading. “Tell me you’re joking.”

You shake your head.

His breath hitches. “Damn it,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. He looks away, like if he doesn’t see your face, this won’t be real.

“You know what happens to people who leave.” He turns back to you, eyes sharp with something between fury and fear. “They don’t get to just walk away.”

His hands grip your shoulders, shaking slightly. “I can cover for you,” he says, voice lower now, urgent. “I can make something up, get you out clean, but you have to give me time.”

You tell him it’s too late—that you’re already leaving.

His fingers tighten around you, like he can physically hold you here, in his world, where he can still protect you.

And then—he lets go.

His arms drop to his sides, hands clenching into fists as he steps back. His lips press together, his entire body shaking with the effort to stay calm.

“…You’re gonna get yourself killed.” His voice is hoarse now.

And when you walk away, he doesn’t follow.

Because if he does, he knows he’ll never be able to let you go.

Gin Akutagawaּ ֶָ֢.

She doesn’t react right away.

You wait for the anger, the shock, the desperate pleas but Gin just stands there, staring at you with an expression so eerily calm it makes your stomach twist.

“I see.”

That’s all she says.

You shift uncomfortably. “That’s it?”

Gin tilts her head slightly, as if considering something. Then she exhales, a slow, deliberate breath. “You’ve already decided, haven’t you?”

You nod.

She closes her eyes for a brief moment. When she opens them again, there’s something unreadable in them.

“Then you need to leave. Now.”

It’s not encouragement. It’s a warning.

She steps closer, lowering her voice. “I won’t tell my brother,” she murmurs, “but if he finds out, if they order him to…” She doesn’t finish the sentence.

She doesn’t have to. You already know.Instead, she presses something into your hand—a knife.

“Run fast. Hide well.”

And when you disappear into the night, she doesn’t let herself cry.Because mourning you now would mean accepting that you’re already dead.

Tachihara Michizōּ ֶָ֢.

He laughs. At first, at least. “Yeah, right. And I’m quitting to be a florist.”

But then he sees the look in your eyes.

“…You’re serious.” His voice loses all its playfulness. The smile fades.

“Tachihara—”

“No.” His voice is sharp. “You don’t get to just—leave.” His breathing is uneven, his body tense, every muscle screaming at him to do something.

But what can he do? Drag you back? Lock you away? Call it in and watch the light in your eyes die when you realize he’s the one who betrayed you?

His hands twitch at his sides, fingers curling like they want to reach for you but can’t.

“You…” His voice falters, then drops to something barely above a whisper. “You don’t get how bad this is.”

You do. And that’s why you’re leaving.

He swallows hard, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Shit, I—” He looks away, like he can’t bear to see your face.

There’s nothing he can do. If he helps you, he dies with you. If he stops you, he breaks you himself.

He watches you turn away. Watches you take one step, then another.

He wants to stop you. To call out. To say something—anything. But he doesn’t.

And the next time he sees you, his orders are clear.

Eliminate the traitor.

And for the first time in his life, he doesn’t know if he can pull the trigger.

[loveydovey489]

How do you think the CoD ppl would react to a suicidal or a depressed reader (choose the one you feel comfortable writing) Need some reassurance and something to warm my heart T-T

Hello!! I hope you are doing alright anon, I hope I get this right, you are loved and appreciated!!

TW: mentions of suicide, poor mental health (I don’t go into detail, bc this is for comfort.) Be careful! Love you all <3

I think that gaz would be very mature about it all. Probably handling it the best, I think he has to deal with a lot after joining the 141. (PTSD) and I think that he would understand, most likely I think that he’d start going on walks (or runs if your into that), cooking, little mindless but fulfilling tasks. To help encourage you, and feel productive! I will also die by saying he is a safe care king, if you can’t get out of bed, best believe your getting a spa day. He’s putting on nice music. Your getting a face mask and a fucking amazing massage,

I think ghost. Has probably dealt with very similar situations, being from a very awful home, having a mother who was probably depressed too, I think her start doing things for you. Cleaning your room, laying out your clothes, making food, paperwork, stuff that he will never outright talk about, he’s not that type of person, but he will silently support you by doing little things! (Bc he’s edgy and won’t tell you that he cares 😒)

Soap, I don’t think would fully get it, at least not at first, but if your close he’ll always come by. he doesn’t really understand (he wasn’t been around very awful mental health during his life) he will act like a dumbass and joke around to try cheer you up, I think eventually he’d calm down once he realised that maybe that’s not that you need at the moment, he seems like a touchy guy, he’d give you a big old spine cracking hug, he’d probably do a lot of research online about how to help someone, because he likes his recon, he cares, leaves little drawings he thinks you’d like sometimes

And price is very dad coded, again, he wouldn’t get it, he’s lwk old (more old fashioned) and mental health awareness wasn’t something he grew up with, but being an honorary dad of very damn recruit who comes into the place, he knows what to do, super soft and sweet, if you want a hug he’ll give you a hug, if you want to stay in bed, he’ll sit on the end of the bed and squeeze your leg. And make awkward conversation, or he’ll listen if you need it, if your ready, he won’t force anything out of you <3

[spiritedstars]

Spirit Meets the Bones [Epilogue]

Genre: Angst/Romance/Drama Author’s Note:  I am very very emotional posting this. Writing this fic drove me crazy in the best way and I'm really proud of it. I loved telling Eris x Iris's story. Thank you for reading. Thank you for tagging along on this long journey. Thank you for loving Eiris the way I do!

In case you missed it, I commissioned a royal portrait of Eiris! Check it out here.

The biggest thank you will always go to @riorsonxaden because without you being my support, bouncing ideas with me, and always taking time to read each chapter and give me your feedback, I wouldn't be posting this or as satisfied with it as I am. Thank you. I love you.

tagging: @climb-the-mountian / @gwynberdara / @positivewitch / @animezinglife / @zenkindoflove / @rosewood-cafe / @clockwork-ashes / @carnythian / @secret-third-thing / @runningwiththeoceans / @that-golden-lyre / @thedarkinmansfield / @readychilledwine / @goldenmagnolias / @mali22 / @readthelastpaage / @maidr-00 / @electromagnetic-waves / @moobell55 / @bibliophiliaxvignette / @devilsfoodcake22 / @weesablackbeak / @ladywhilemia / @alohaangels / @feysandfeels / @corcracrow / @dawneternal / @gracie-rosee / @mage-neve / @illyrianvalkyrie / @saint-stella / @carolynmezzosoprano / @rainbowsnowflake / @queenoftheworld1998 / @wolvesnravens / @lalaluch / @moonfawnx / @temperedink / @batboyslutt / @rcarbo1 /

Find it all here.

Six Months Later.

~

Eris stood in his study, glancing out the window with a whisky in hand, soaking up the last moments of quiet he’d have for the rest of the day. 

Today was the day.

Dressed in a fitted forest green suit, his crown resting on his head, the High Lord of the Autumn Court allowed himself a small smile. The lapel Iris had gifted him was pinned neatly to his jacket, and Eris was only a little nervous—but for once in his life, it was a good kind of nervousness. 

He was getting married. Again.

After the night of the battle, it was well into the morning before they had a moment to rest. They had all been exhausted and worn and desperately needed time to heal properly. Iris’s wounds had reopened, and Eris had gone through the agony of watching her recover from them. The scars had left faint marks, and though it had crushed Eris to see her beautiful skin be marred in such a way, Iris had only knocked her shoulder against his and said, “We’re more of a perfect match now.”  

Even distracted with all his new duties as High Lord, Eris had driven those around him nearly insane while Iris healed. He had waited until Nevien had given him a very exasperated all-clear to touch his wife in the way he had been craving to, and Eris had made love to his mate in a way that still had Iris turning bright red whenever she thought about it. 

It had been as filthy as Eris had wanted.

After that particular rigorous night, Eris had met her gaze, his hand stroking her bare skin, and said, “Let’s get married. Our way this time.” 

Iris had only kissed him in response.

And now, he was getting married to the love of his life. His mate.

As he planned for their wedding, Eris found that slipping into his role as High Lord had been smoother than anticipated.

While a new court required a new council, new rules, and considerable follow-through, for Eris, who had already handled much of his father’s affairs, being High Lord was like breathing.

Eris had spent that first week as High Lord cleaning out those in his father’s pocket, giving them two choices: change or death. Though they remained under constant scrutiny, many had been intelligent enough to choose the former. For those that hadn’t made the right choice, Eris had unleashed his brothers, their hunt serving as a reminder, that though they may not be their father, they knew exactly how to make things hurt. 

Iris’s father had been the only person who had no choice in what happened to him. He had barely survived his daughter’s wrath, but Iris had ensured he hadn’t died too quickly. She had requested a public hanging after he was displayed for a week in the heart of the court—no healing permitted. When the day finally came for Aron’s execution, Iris watched her father’s corpse struggle against the rope as it tightened around his neck, floundering for air until his body went limp. She had felt no remorse. 

He had been left to hang on the flagpole for all to see, the marks and blood from the battle still visible. It was a message and a decree in their new court; an abuser had no place here. 

While change was never easy and most of his people welcomed him warmly, there was trepidation. People were hopeful and yet, scared. Worried it was all a joke – a dream – a test to weed out traitors against the crown. And Eris understood it. He had lived this uncertainty and while he hadn’t suddenly turned into a saint, he granted them patience. He gave them a calmness he had yearned for the Autumn Court to have.

This started with the Forest House. Eris had tested his new magic while morphing the House into a home. He wanted to wipe away his father’s touch from every inch and slowly but surely, it began to look different. To feel different.

Within Autumn, their people were united. Outside of their court, their reputation as cutthroat remained. As a new leader – Eris did not want to give anyone the idea that Autumn would be an easy target. He had quickly connected with the other courts, setting the precedent for networking with the Autumn Court;  his wretched father had stifled them, but Eris had endless ideas for inter-court connections and trade. He was eager for more. For better. 

His brothers had joined his council, each taking a more active role in managing their court, and for the first time in his life, Eris didn’t feel so alone. 

While they didn’t always see eye to eye and meetings had sometimes gotten heated, in the end, they all had the same goal – to do better. To be better. It didn’t erase their past but they were family. The word actually meant something now. 

It took his mother some time to visit her old home, but every time she did, Eris’s chest ached in a way he hadn’t expected, to see her roam the halls of the Forest House with a smile on her face—happy. The High Lord of Day had been gracious enough to give Eris some time before shouting his mating bond for the world to hear; a month after Eris became High Lord, Helion claimed her as his mate and they’ve been in bliss since. Lucien began visiting Autumn and was greeted with a warm welcome every time. Though he still wasn’t always comfortable, Elain’s excitement to explore the court and bond with his family made up for it.

Izak and Helene had decided to stay in their home within their community, but Eris still had a suite ready for them whenever they wished to stay. It felt strange to watch his sister-in-law’s pregnancy, to know that the first baby Vanserra was on the way. Eris still sent her a gift now and then to make up for their first meeting.

With no hesitation, Cosette had moved into Emil’s suite within the Forest House, as did Theo with Finn. The two had bonded, forcing Emil and Finn to spend more time together than they were used to, and it had been very amusing for Eris to watch. Until Iris also forced him to be there and suddenly, he was not so very amused. 

Three months after that, and after the transition of their court had calmed just slightly, Eris had planned the perfect wedding. It would be a small, intimate affair with only family and friends with delicious food, good music, and by the end of the night, he would be fucking his wife on his new throne.

His small smile widened into a smirk as he pictured his beautiful wife melting beneath his touch. 

Gods, was he excited.

A knock on his office door had Eris turning. He drained his drink and set it on his desk before saying, “Come in.”

Finn poked his head in through the door and much to Eris’s annoyance, gave a wolf whistle. “Damn brother, you do clean up nice.” 

Eris rolled his eyes as his brothers filed in and he gestured for Lucien to close the door behind him, a shield reinforcing it. “For once in your life, you seem to look decent yourself.” His eyes swept over each of his brothers. Indeed, each of them was dressed impeccably. He barely recognized Izak. “Surprisingly, you all do.”

“I don’t know why you’re surprised about me,” Lucien said dryly. “I always dress well. And maybe Emil. It’s the other two who look like hooligans all the time.”

“Ah, fuck off. I look great walking around like a damn dream.” Finn immediately protested. 

“I’m not a hooligan,” Izak said in offense. “I dress appropriately for my job.”

“What I assume Lucien means is the general air of peasant you both give off.” Emil quipped with a small smirk. “Unfortunately, if there is a stench, you two are the first people will look to.” 

Lucien choked back a laugh and Eris sighed when Finn and Izak broke out into an argument. 

“We’ll see who gets the last laugh when I flirt with Elain and Cosette so hard –”

“Leave my mate out of this.”

“I will skin you alive –”

“When will you realize no one likes it when you flirt with them?” Izak added with a snort. “You suck at it.”

“It’s not the only thing he sucks,” Lucien replied and the cackles broke out again as Finn let out a growl.

“Oy!”

“To be fair, Izak, Helene doesn’t seem to mind his presence as much,” Emil said and eyed Izak with that obnoxious smirk. “He seems to be craving a little female time. Are you aware of this? I think we might need to inform Theo.”

Izak glared at Emil. “And what the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you accusing my pregnant wife of something?”

“No, I’m accusing your brother of being a home wrecker.”

“I have not wrecked any homes, you fuckers.”

“So the rumors about you being people’s third are false?”

“How the fuck would you hear about that, Lucien?”

“Same way I hear about everyone’s nonsense. Your slutty lives are local news.”

“Oy, I’ve been with one female for years.”

“None of those rumors are ever about you, Izak. No one wants you.” Finn said and smiled the way he knew would make his brothers see red. “But don’t worry, Helene and I already have a plan to work things out once you kick the bucket.” He glanced at Emil and pointed. “The same way Cosette and I do.” Then pointed to Eris. “The same way Iris and I do.” And lastly, pointed to Lucien. “You don’t let me near Elain enough but I’m working on charming her. I can’t wait to talk flowers with her. I’m suddenly itching to start my own garden.” 

And before the room could explode, Eris took a deep breath and allowed his magic to swat each of his brothers across the head, hard. Ignoring their outrage, he held up his hands for silence and finally addressed them. “This is exactly why I asked you all to be here. There will be absolutely no fighting at my wedding, do you understand?”

Finn opened his mouth and Eris shot him a look. “No bringing up significant others.” He glared at Emil. “No instigating fights with baseless rumors.” He pointed at Izak. “No getting offended every time someone mentions your damn wife.” And lastly, he gave Lucien an exasperated look. “No adding fuel to the fire of an already ridiculous argument.” 

Addressing them all at once, he said firmly. “No fighting.”

“But –”

“It wasn’t even –”

“I have nothing to do with –”

“I’m barely tolerating being here –”

A muscle twitched in Eris’s jaw and the room heated as he forced himself to take another breath and smooth down his suit jacket. “Today is my wedding day. An event I have perfectly planned to celebrate my wife and I,” he said, forcing himself to remain calm as he glanced at his brother’s stupid faces. “Iris is very excited and I will not have any of your bullshit annoying her in any way. So.”

He stepped in front of Emil who was clearly fighting a laugh and pointed. “No fighting.”

Stepping to Finn, Eris fought hard not to punch the smug expression right off his face and pointed a little more threateningly. “No – fucken – fighting.”

He moved to Izak and Lucien, the former, who held up his hands as though he was an innocent bystander in all of this, and the latter shrugging his shoulders with no care in the world. It annoyed Eris even further as he pointed between them and said again, “No – fighting.” 

Turning in the room and addressing all of them at once, “There will be no – fucken – fighting or so help me, Iris will have your throats and I’ll have the hounds eat whatever she leaves of you.”

“Damn, she’d get vicious on her wedding day?” Izak said with a whistle.

“She has a knife strapped to her as we speak and will use it as she sees fit.” 

“Kinky.” Finn said in an annoyingly singsong voice that made Eris want to choke him where he stood.

“Match made in heaven, you two.” Lucien added with a snort and Eris grunted.

“That’s right and I have no issues stabbing you myself if I have to,” he swore. “Behave yourselves.” 

“Will you cry when she walks in?” Emil asked, mockingly putting a hand over his heart. “I don’t know if I will be able to hold back from succumbing to tears myself if you do.”

“I cannot believe you’re my biggest problem today,” Eris said with a glare at his usually quieter brother. “Fuck off.” 

Pointing threateningly one last time, he confirmed, “Am I clear, assholes?”

They all grumbled their agreements and as they stood together in the room, Eris eyed them wearily then shook his head. 

They were alright. They had earned this.

Without waiting for Eris’s permission, Emil moved around his brother, grabbed the bottle on his desk, and magicked each of them a drink. 

“Since you’re done threatening us, I’d like to propose a toast,” Emil began, giving Eris a more genuine smile. “To our big brother and High Lord,” he continued, “We weren’t invited to your last wedding and are only mildly inconvenienced to celebrate this one with you.” Holding up his glass as Eris rolled his eyes. “May your union be blessed. To Eris and Iris.”

Each of his other brothers raised their glasses and repeated, “To Eris and Iris.”

And as Eris brought the glass to his mouth, Finn had the audacity to add, “And to their firstborn child who will absolutely be named after me. Cheers!”

Eris could only bring himself to sigh. He did it so often these days. 

~

Once the wedding began, nothing else mattered to Eris other than getting to the part where he’d see and then promptly kiss his wife. It had been hours since she had woken him up this morning, sliding her body over his, and they had almost been late for wedding prep. 

It had been a fantastic way to start the day, and it was how they started most days. He couldn’t get enough of touching her—of being with her as openly as he could be. Through every change, Iris walked with him, hand in hand, equal in responsibilities, and it made his chest ache to know she actually cared about what happened to their court. Her support wasn’t for show. 

Without a looming threat, Eris allowed himself to simply…feel. It disgusted him but he allowed it. 

For so long, he had craved so desperately. Even as the desire to light himself on fire for actually letting his emotions be, Eris allowed it. He had earned it and his wife deserved it. She deserved all his feelings. 

And so, Eris Vanserra let himself be in love. To truly, soak it in that his wife, his friend, and his mate was here, with him. Beautiful and loved him too. 

There were many nights when Eris couldn’t sleep and would lie awake, simply staring at Iris curled up next to him, convincing himself that this was all real. That they had survived and they were finding happiness in this new normal. That he was happy and shouldn’t be afraid of the feeling.

How he had wished. How he had looked to the sky and begged and now…his prayers had finally been answered. 

Eris wouldn’t take a second of it for granted. 

And now, he stood at the tastefully decorated altar filled with Iris’s favorite flowers, impatiently waiting for her to walk in. They had set up the ceremony to take place in a smaller hall within the Forest House to keep it as private as possible.

His eyes swept the room, glancing at his idiotic brothers and their significant others sitting next to them. According to Lucien, they were all his groomsmen though Eris hadn’t asked; they grinned rather smugly with their matching boutonnieres that Eris had most certainly not picked out, and he crinkled his nose at how much resemblance there was between them seated like this. His mother sat with Helion, her hand resting in the crook of the High Lord’s arm and the rest of the seats were all filled with his closest friends.

This was the most relaxed he’d ever been at an event he was hosting and yet, Eris felt like he would lose his mind if he had to wait another minute for Iris to walk in. 

Did a part of him cringe hard, knowing he was going to let himself appear ‘happy’ in front of people? Gods, yes. But was it worth it, for him to see Iris experience joy? That after all they had been through, they were getting to choose each other all over again? On their own terms? Absolutely.

A little embarrassment would be a small price to pay. 

Was Eris also a little smug that he managed to plan this wedding to be on the exact day of their original anniversary? Very much so. 

It was the same date a year later, and yet as the music finally started to play and he turned, his heart thumping wildly in his chest waiting for his wife to walk in, Eris marveled at the way time had passed and had shifted the tide. 

He marveled at how this was his actual life now. 

And when Iris walked in, she stole his breath all over again. 

Iris slowly began her walk down the aisle towards her mate, her cheeks flushed happily as his twelve hounds bounced alongside her, dressed for the occasion. Her smile was warm and as her eyes scanned the room, she couldn’t help the slight shyness that crept on her knowing the people in this room were part of her life. 

They were her family and friends. Something she wouldn’t have dreamed of having a year ago.

A year ago, she had been miserable and terrified of getting married to Eris. Now, she thought her chest would explode from the sheer amount of happiness she was feeling. 

She felt beautiful, dressed in a custom-made gown — courtesy of her very involved husband — that made her feel elegant, poised, and exactly how the wife of the High Lord should look, holding Elain’s most stunning bouquet yet in her hands. She was adorned with the jewelry Eris had previously given her and a stunning tiara on her head that complimented her simple hairstyle.

And it made her body heat to see the way Eris was staring at her. Always intensely, always so hungrily – as if their hands hadn’t been all over each other just this morning. 

When she finally reached him, Eris held out his hand for her to take. He carefully brought her up the step to stand across from him, and when their eyes met, the world went quiet. 

Everything seemed to still as the weight of all they had endured this year sat between them. It felt so calm. So surreal, as husband and wife simply stared at each other. It felt surreal to stand there knowing that only by a twist of fate, they had found each other and their lives had intertwined.

Eris couldn’t stop staring at her. It made his heart ache to see her standing before him and smiling so brightly; he wanted to double over and it was through sheer force of will that he didn’t allow his expression to change – to display just how pathetically in love he was. 

She was so beautiful and he couldn’t believe she was his. 

All his.

“Hello, husband,” Iris whispered with a small smile and Eris’s lips twitched.

“Hello, wife,” he murmured. 

“You should pick up your jaw off the floor. You’re drooling all over your fancy suit.” she teased but Eris shook his head, fighting against his expression shifting.

“Too late for that, I’m afraid.” 

“How embarrassing for you.”

“How embarrassing for you. You’re the one marrying me. Again.” he tsked and Iris rolled her eyes and then let out a rather exaggerated sigh.

“What can I say, I couldn’t bring myself to leave my little pups.” she said, and Eris narrowed his eyes. 

“Only the pups, hm?”

Iris shrugged playfully. “Well. I suppose there is one more lovesick pup I couldn’t bring myself to leave.” 

“Careful now –”

A throat cleared and the two straightened, suddenly remembering where they were. Iris flushed deeply and Eris pursed his lips, glancing at the priestess standing before them who smiled sheepishly.

“I am ready whenever you are, my lord.” 

Eris ignored the hoots and laughter of his annoying family and instead, kept his eyes on his wife. He had been foolish to think sharing this moment with others had been a good idea. 

He should’ve kept it even more private. Just the two of them, alone. He never liked an audience to his emotions and Eris felt the back of his neck heat as everyone’s eyes were on them.

Yet – he watched as Iris smiled bashfully at their guests, earning her a few laughs, and Eris glanced down at her hand in his, her thumb caressing his soothingly…maybe it wasn’t so bad. He could pretend it was just the two of them. 

She was the sun. Everything else was irrelevant. 

“You look like you’re about to run out on me,” she teased in a whisper and squeezed his hand. 

Eris shot her a look, squeezing her hand right back.

“We’ve only been here minutes and I already regret doing this,” he murmured with no real heat and when Iris furrowed her brows, Eris only sighed. “I don’t want to share this with others. Them.”  

“Oy! Stop it with the googly eyes and get the party started!” Finn shouted and Eris’s head snapped to his brother with a glare. 

“One more word out of you and I swear –”

But Iris laughed softly and tugged him back to her. “You can’t threaten your brother at our wedding.”

Eris snorted. “Oh yes, I can. I will slit his throat.” 

“No, you won’t.”

“Iris –”

“You will not be hurting anyone at my wedding or I will be stabbing you.” 

A different kind of heat rushed through his body and Eris knew his smirk told people too much. 

He was deeply regretting this not being a private event.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, wife.” 

Iris turned to look at the priestess and sighed, “I don’t think I’ll be going through with this after all, I’m so sorry to have wasted your time.” 

Eris’s smirk widened and then he tugged Iris closer to him. “As if I’d let you leave after all this.” He nodded to the priestess. “Please proceed.” 

The priestess bit her lip, clearly fighting a laugh but then cleared her throat and began. 

Eris heard nothing of what was said. All his senses focused on Iris, who smiled too knowingly at him. When it was finally time to exchange their rings once more, Iris surprised him with a new wedding band. With Eris’s style, she knew he’d prefer something that complemented everything he wore, so she had picked a simple hammered texture and engraved their initials on the inside.  

“I couldn’t be the only one with a new ring.” she teased, slipping it onto his finger and Eris tried not to collapse as his heart thumped wildly. He couldn’t bring myself to say anything else, overwhelmed with all these fucken feelings clogged in his throat. He could only slide her ring on her finger and then place a soft kiss on her hand. 

“Do you have vows you would like to share?” the priestess asked.

Eris and Iris glanced at each other. They had agreed that whatever vows they’d had would be between them so instead, Iris slanted her head slightly. 

“No, but I do have a question,” she said, the corner of her mouth curling up. “A question for a question.”

Eris’s expression lit up in amusement. “A question for a question.”

“Do you agree to willingly tolerate me for the rest of our days, husband dear?”

The small laugh escaped him before he could stop it and Eris replied, “I do. Do you agree to willingly tolerate me for the rest of our days then, dearest wife?”

Iris hummed playfully, pretending to think until he lifted a brow and she conceded with a laugh. “I do.”

“I believe I was supposed to ask a similar question…” the priestess began but with a glance from Eris, she cleared her throat and continued, “No matter! With this exchange, your union has been blessed. May the Mother continue to fill your lives with peace, joy, and harmony. You may kiss your bride, High Lord.” 

“About damn time,” Eris murmured, and as he leaned in and Iris met her lips with his, the cheers in the room matched the cheers in his heart, and he couldn’t bring himself to give a single shit about who watched them.

~

The rest of the night had passed in full merriment, an unusual occurrence for the Vanserras. Very few parties had ever been this calm – enjoyable even. Considering the last ball they’d been to, this ceremony was a dream.

Though they had remained on high alert, the brothers let themselves simply be present. The former Lady of Autumn’s smile was bright, her mate watching her every breath with stars in his eyes. They had all danced – Finn risking his life to dance with each of his brother’s paramours – and yet, despite the bickering and nonsense, Eris had watched Iris enjoy every minute of it. Her smile had dazzled the whole room and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

She had surprised him again during the party. In addition to the wedding cake he had originally requested, Iris presented a cake she had baked herself. It was a small round cake with white frosting, decorated with irises and Eris felt the mating bond thump beneath his skin at the gesture. 

Picking up a fork, she smiled at him and asked in a hushed tone, “Are you ready to eat, mate?”

Eris’s throat had bobbed as he took the fork from her hand and it took him a moment before he cleared his throat and joked, “So this is the way I go. Poisoned by my mate.” 

Her exasperated expression was so endearingly familiar that Eris couldn’t help but laugh, kiss her heartily, and then devour every last morsel of it.

Now, he sat on his new throne, happily married, happily mated, his wife in his lap, and her hand trailing distractingly down his chest.

His suit jacket was long gone, his crown sitting askew on his head and Eris had allowed himself to get slightly tipsy. He was also covered in lipstick stains, and Iris was still kissing his neck. 

“I could die right now and would consider myself the luckiest bastard alive.” He mumbled and Iris straightened in his lap with a tsk. Her wedding cape had been discarded on her own throne next to them, her heels tossed to the side and Eris had already taken all the pins out of her hair, setting her long locks free. Her tiara remained, of course. 

“How could you say that when we haven’t even had our proper wedding night?” she teased. “What a disappointing start to our marriage.”

Eris’s hands slid to his wife’s waist and he yanked her closer until she was inches from his lips, exactly where he liked her. “You and I both know, there is nothing disappointing about our marriage,” he said and gave her a knowing look. “Especially when my shy little wife is no longer shy, craving me constantly.” 

“Don’t flatter yourself like you aren’t ready to collapse every time my hand brushes against your skin, High Lord.” she breathed, tracing a finger across his collarbone. 

Eris chuckled, taking that finger and bringing it to his lips to kiss. “True. You had me wrapped around your finger from day one, I suppose,” he replied with a long-suffering sigh and Iris laughed but couldn’t help herself from pecking him quickly. 

“If it helps, it’s exactly how I want you, obsessed with me.”

“Given how you can’t even sleep without being engulfed in my scent, I’m not the only one obsessed, am I?” he teased. “Remember how prickly you were in the beginning? Like a feral little cat. And now look at you – simply addicted.”

Iris returned the long-suffering sigh and Eris’s lip twitched. “I suppose you have me there.” she said and her cheeks flushed when she added, “I do love you enough that I married you twice.” 

His expression softened and his hand brushed against her cheek, whispering, “And I am always grateful you chose me.”

Husband and wife watched one another in silence, the thread of their bond shining bright and true between them. It had all been worth it. Every hardship. Every doubt and fear and anxiety that had clawed at their lives before this…it had all been worth it. 

“I’d choose you every time, Eris,” she said softly. “You are mine and I am yours. Until the sun sets in its final hour. Until I am nothing but dust and even after that, when I am no more than a memory, I will always be yours.”

His throat bobbed as he watched her smile at him, a rush of affection so deep, Eris wanted to sink in it and never come up for air.  “And I yours,” he murmured, pulling her close again, his lips brushing against hers. “My heart and my soul – my very breath and every broken part of me will only ever be yours.” 

“Every wonderful part of you.” Iris corrected and Eris couldn’t help his chuckle. 

“Only because it’s you and everything you touch becomes wonderful,” he said and Iris shook her head. 

“After everything that’s happened, you are not allowed to speak about yourself that way,” she demanded, leaning back to give him a stern look. “I forbid it.”

He chuckled again. “Well, if my mate and future High Lady forbid it, I suppose I must listen,” he said and brushed back a loose curl, tugging on her ear gently. “You still want to wait until next year to declare the title officially?”

“Yes,” Iris confirmed and cupped his face. “I’d like more time learning in court before we add another big change. You need to keep things stable for now.”

Eris nodded, watching her face with that small smile that was all hers. How he had gotten so lucky, he’d never know. The Mother had blessed him in ways he’d never even let himself dream.  

“As you wish, wife,” he said. “I look forward to your insights. Even if you have questionable opinions at times.”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you still think Lucien is more dashing than me, then?” he asked immediately and Iris blinked then leaned her head back with a laugh.

“Ah, so that’s what this is about.” she teased with a giggle and Eris pursed his lips at her response, narrowing his eyes. 

“As I said, questionable opinions.”

Iris rolled her eyes, smiling so fondly, that it made her cheeks ache. “To answer your question,” she said quietly and leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth. “No, I don’t. Even if he may dress better than you sometimes.”

Eris tutted and sat back, pulling her more firmly in his lap, and shook his head. “So many silly lies you tell.”

Iris hummed, leaning into him, and brushed her thumb against his mouth. She loved him, and what a blessing—after waiting for so long, she had been given a love like this. She loved him so deeply, yet she could never put into words just how much he meant to her—her husband, her friend, her mate. It left her helpless in the best way, and Iris wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped up with him like this.

He was all hers. For forever and every day after. He was all hers. 

“What are you going to do about all my lies, then?” she whispered, arching into him as Eris ran his hand down her back with a smirk and she leaned in to kiss the other corner of his mouth.

“Kiss you until you stop saying them, I suppose,” he hummed, and Iris grinned.

“Well then,” she said. “I guess I’ll just have to keep lying.”

Eris couldn’t stop staring at her, sitting in his arms with a mischievous grin, her scent enveloping him. He truly had everything he ever wanted – right here. And it was real, not a desperate dream. “Tell me more of your lies then, little gazelle.” 

“Mmm, you’re hideous.”

He chuckled and leaned in to brush his lips against hers. “What else?” 

“You’re simply the worst person I’ve ever met.”

Eris fought back his own grin, nipping at her bottom lip. “Tell me more.”

Iris leaned back again and met his gaze, her expression softening again in a way that made Eris tremble.

“I hate you,” she said and the corner of his mouth quirked up, warmth spreading in his chest. “You’re the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Is that the best lie you have?” he teased. Iris narrowed her eyes in thought for a moment, then smirked devilishly, wrapping both arms around his neck, a breath away from his lips. 

“You’re terrible in bed.”

Eris barked out a laugh and Iris joined him as unfiltered joy flooded through him. He wouldn’t question this gift he’d been given for a single moment – never let a doubt creep in between them. Wrapping his arms around his wife, Eris kissed his Iris in earnest, pouring all his love and promises into her lips.

His heart had always been in the palm of her hands, and Iris had wrapped her very soul around him. Together, they would welcome a new beginning. 

They would spend the rest of their days just like this. 

Happy. 

Whole. 

Together.

And where jaded spirits had once met tired bones, their spirits were jaded no more. 

Rekindled, they had finally settled home.

[revscarecrow]

Sonic the hedgehog and Ozzy Osbourne

in a spy thriller at an Arbys Parking lot

Chapter 1:

2 am arby's parking lot sonic is there. Sonic puts out his cigarette. "YEAH this is the place. Way past cool..." he said mornfully. Arby's was a place of villainy and not a place of fast or cool or honor( iwent there once and the food made me sick :( ). "All i have to do is steal the secret sauce so I can have the best chilli dog ever. Yeah cool."

Chapter 2:

"SONIC!" said sonics wrist watch that was alos a communicator. "You gotta mublerl that ria now." Ozzy ozborne said knowingly. "You're right> Cooll Chilli dog." Said songic who im realizing i know very little about. "Just fuckin madflp Theat...." Ozzy continued. "I don't know how that will help but if you say so." unfapply sonic spoke removing his shoes. Sonic then did a big snip dash to the roof. Once on the roof he said "Ok Ozzy tghe eagle has landed." "Great tghuis is god" preached ozzy appripoe of nothing. Sonic alwasys listened to ozzy first as a musician and then as a mentor. Ozzy was alwasyt a secret spy master as we all know. IT was with this power he helped sonic to hone his craft like batman did for batman in batman beyond.

chapter 3:

"Fuckin go wheres my fuckin cat SHARON" annoucned Ozzy giving the code words Sonic needdd to open the air vent. The vent was cold on his bare sniky feeet. "YEAH COOL!" shouted sonic not remembering that hwee was sneaking at that moment. "SHUT THFIUICK UP" Ozzy mumbled to heimself. Sonic lambasted himself for his stipid mistake. One would think that after years training to becoime the worlds best tai kawndow instructpor in the moutnains of nepal he would have rememebred his masters sage advice. "yeah cool." sonic then affirmed this time more quietly and to himself. because hw was alone. in the vent. After some time in the vent sonic got to the end which had ben losedn by an inside palnt at the arbies (the reseraunt not the person). "Simfgja The vod alredy sonic" mumbled ozzy again. Thistime more aggressibvely.

Sonic quietly slipped out of the vent like a poop from a butt. Sonic was sad that he was upsetting his master and aimed to do better that he had been before which was just a few momembts ago. I found it sonic said to himself and ozzy because ozzy could here him. "Ozzy senpai I found my way into the kitchen now what" uttered sonic under hsi breth to ozzzy and himself. The klitchne was clean aside from everwhere it wasnt. The walss were thick with greease and dirt. Sonic regretting taking his shoes off "ay caromba" sojci said flexing his spanish for his masters approval. "Ну, эээ... Укусил я себя за ногу однажды, знаешь. Было такое. Не просто так, была цель. Но тебе этого не понять." ozzy said felxing his russian. Sonic was asshamed and doidnt know wha t ozzy was saying. Normally he understood his masters words but he did not know russian and therefore had no idea what Ozzy was saying. Ozzy spent some tiem in russia as a spy duirng the cold war and hsi rusain was very good. Sonic trusted that the words were worsd of incurangement.

Chapter 7:

(AN: let me know if you like this by givi ng me a kudo. THAX!)

Sonic stepped through the greese and the grime as he made his way to the refrigerator. "chilli Dogs?" sonic alledged outloud hopoing that his dreams wou.l,d come true. As sonic reached for the door of the refrigerator to get the secret sauce he heard a voice from behind him. "I knew you would be here sooner or later..." it was the voice of sonics main rival sponge bod square pants. "FUCKOING LOK OAT" Ozzy shpouted into the communacator giving sonic just enough time to doge out of the way fo the ninja shirikan. Spining in place sonic saw that he was surrouned by dozens of sponge bob coppies. "HEH THIS JJSUT GOT INTRENTSINTG" sonic said taking the ninja star out of the refrigerator and throwing it at a bob. The sponge bpob that was there turned into a tree log (AN:think about the onces in nartuo if you arent aawre of naruto GTFO). Sonic went to move real fast but coundt. "ERG THIS GREENZE Its making me slog" sonic opined. Sponge bob then began to speak all of them all at once in unison it was horrible and creepy "Did you think this was going to be easy" they uttered left eyes glowing red "who do you think was their inside man?" Sonic was shocked and amazed and confused how couild thois be. How could he have been betrayed and haow did sponge know? "I bet you are wondering how yuou got betrayed" the bobs disclosed "The truth is that we have already done this before but the last time. I was with you as yor lover. By opening that fringe i was able to get the power of the 8 seecret sauces and control time itself. But for this battle I wont need that." the bobs gabbed. "THATS NOT COOL." Sonic responded. "Keepm hkim busyz" ozzy then mumbled excitedly "im gona haxxor the main frame."

chapter 8: the show down

The arbys began to shake as the power levels of both bob and sonic rose to 1000000 or maybe more. " Ill get you for this sponge" sonic said before rushing him slowly because he cou.l,dnt run because of the greese in the room that was shaking because their power levels kept rising. "You dont knwo the pwower that I have trained in the million of years of pracice ive had for this very moment" spongebong verbalized. "what happened to ypou hwo were we lovers what do you mean psonge bob." sonic then said with a smirk "Back in my timeline we were lovers as i said HERK..." and then sponge bobs died liek airth from Final fantasy cause thats what happened it was like the bit where sphoeroth stabbed herr in the back but insted its sponge bob and he died and bled out. Sponge bobm thin said the words that would haunt sonic froevefr " I still loved you" and in that moment sonic knew that he loved bob. Despite everythign he loved that bob. Hodling the corpse of his new now dead lover sonic screm "Bummer" And now he had to avienge his dead lvoer. whowas bob and hsi lover. He then looked up the blaed of thatkatana to the eyes of his most hated enemy yet.

AN: Been busy with school and i got grounded the other day so I couldt work on this but I will as soon as I can my mom is such a bitch for grounding me I just wanted to learn how to throw knives and now Im in trouble. I wish sonic was real and ozzy was real and sponge bob was my boyfriend. and rel. Will get back to writing soon. xoxoxoxoxoxoo

[enlyume]

Not so secret

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: Steve accidentally finds out why Bucky insisted on him taking a day off.

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None

Notes: This is Bucky x female reader, but with Steve's POV. AU with no superpowers. Also, English is not my first language :)

Being the owner of your own gym comes with a few pros and a lot of cons. The pros? You knew a lot of people - and women - you could make your own schedule and choose your own staff and as a personal trainer you could stay fit. Cons: You had to put up with clients complaining about the self-defence classes being too difficult, your colleagues flirting with their wives, and you being on call 24/7 with no holidays. But, so far, Steve was enjoying his gym life.

Two and a half years of surviving in Brooklyn seemed like a success, so he could choose how to spend his first free day in a long time. Clean his apartment, go to his mother's house to help her with some water-related problems, go for a run and do some shopping. He could already hear Bucky, Natasha and Sam saying that this was far from a free day, but he didn't care.

He knew Bucky would scoff and swear he would never give him another day off, but looking at his now full fridge, he felt happy. So happy that he thought he could at least give his friends the satisfaction of a night off drinking. Maybe not until he got really drunk, because the next day was Friday and he had to open the gym, but still.

So he called Bucky, and when he didn't pick up the phone, he tried Natasha.

"I can't believe you wasted your first day off in months running errands. We are not friends anymore," she said, and Steve could picture her sitting on her couch, the TV on a murder mystery, her eyes narrowed. "That's not what Buck and I work our asses off for, Rogers!" she complained.

"Hey, I can do whatever I want with my free time. And, how do you know that?!" he asked, looking around for a hidden camera. His friends wouldn't spy on him, would they?

"I know everything," she whispered and Steve felt the urge to hang up and go and read. "OK, what's up? Are you taking off again tomorrow to help your neighbour redecorate?"

"I was thinking about going out for a drink with my friends, seeing as it's not that late, but I'm rethinking my life choices right now and I'm not so sure anymore."

"Don't be a drama queen, Stevie. Give me five, the bar next to my place".

"It'll take me more than five minutes to get there, Nat".

"Yeah, OK, you've got eight. Call the boys, I call the girls?" She asked and didn't need to elaborate. Natasha, Buck, Sam and himself were a team in and out of the gym. And since she finished college, and came back to Brooklyn, Becca usually joined them with her roommate Y/n.

"I already called Buck, but he didn't pick up. I'll try again," he replied, grabbing the keys and leaving his apartment. It wasn't that big, but living alone was more than enough and it was only a block away from the gym. That saved him the daily traffic jam.

He shrugged under his jacket, wishing it was summer, and walked down the street.

"Let me know if he doesn't pick up. I'll try," Natasha said, and Steve could hear her moving around her flat, getting ready.

"What makes you think he'll answer your call but not mine?" he sneered, smirking. Bucky had been pretty insistent about hiring Natasha, and although they flirted sometimes, it had never become anything serious. Or so he thought.

"He will," was her brief reply. Steve rolled his eyes and turned the corner. His eyes automatically drifted to the gym and he paused, frowning. The lights were on, but it was past closing time. "Hey, gotta go. See you in ten".

"Eight!" was the last thing he heard Natasha say before he hung up.

Steve crossed the street and tried the front door, breathing a sigh of relief when he found it locked. So Bucky wasn't there and hadn't left the gym open, he'd just forgotten to turn off the lights. He used the keys to get inside and went to his office to turn off all the lights from there, but stopped in the doorway when he saw Bucky's jacket and helmet on the table. His friend was still there? Past closing time? The blond left the office and went to the stairs, climbing them two at a time and heading for the only room where the lights were still on. Maybe Bucky had fallen and hurt himself, or maybe he had fainted, or maybe…

"That's not the way to use it, doll."

Doll. Doll. Steve narrowed his eyes, already angry with Bucky. When he'd offered to do the afternoon shift that Thursday too, on the pretext that he'd worked a lot and deserved a day off to rest, Steve hadn't been suspicious. It wasn't the first time Bucky had suggested it, and he'd had to get his house in order and run a few errands, so he'd accepted without question. And Bucky had smirked. He hadn't thought about it at the time, but now the smile had taken on a new meaning.

Emma, the student who had started Natasha's self-defence classes a month ago, immediately came to mind. Or it could be April, the recently divorced woman. She always laughed at his jokes, even when they weren't that funny, and stroked his arm openly. Steve opened his eyes wide. It could also be Peggy, making good on his threat.

"If you don't ask her out soon, I will, punk," he had told him a few times when Steve's eyes lingered on the door of the classroom Peggy had just entered. He took a deep breath, gripped the door handle and looked at the ceiling. Please don't let it be Peggy, he prayed. "Then tell me how it works."

Steve let go of the handle as if it were on fire. He knew that voice. It wasn't Peggy, but maybe it would have been better if it had been.

"Yeah, I'll pass. It's funnier to watch you try." Steve did not need to see his friend's face to know that he was smirking.

"Is that why you wanted me to come, to laugh at me?" She didn't mean it maliciously, because if there was one thing she knew about Y/N, it was that she wouldn't say anything to offend.

Steve tried to remember if he had seen her at the gym before. She was at the opening, sure, and she visited from time to time, but had she tried a class? He remembered Bucky telling her to leave because she was against the dress code. Y/N always gave the same answer: her gym clothes were just for posting photos on her social media.

"I wanted you to come so I could be alone with you. I missed you."

"We saw each other at Nat's last Sunday," she chuckled.

"Yes, but I couldn't…"

Steve knew he shouldn't, but curiosity took the best of him and he pushed the door just a little, so he could see them. Y/N was standing next to the treadmill and Bucky was holding her cheeks while he kissed her. He couldn't help but be surprised, because even though he knew what he was about to see, he didn't expect to see exactly that. His friend getting into trouble, kissing his younger sister's best friend? Yes. Bucky pulling away from her just enough to reach down and wrap his arms around her waist, filling her face with kisses, both of them laughing and whispering words in each other's ears? No. Because this didn't look like an affair. The smile on his friend's face as he listened intently to what she was telling him gave away that this was anything but a simple affair.

The sound of a mobile phone interrupted them and for a few seconds Steve thought it was his and he was going to get caught, but Bucky let go of Y/N and picked up his phone from the floor. "Hey Nat, what's up?"

Bucky turned, his back to the door, and Steve looked at Y/N. She had sat down on the workbench again and was trying to lift the weights without success. Bucky immediately gestured for her to let go and she obeyed, still smiling.

"I'd love to, but I've worked my ass off today and I'm dead. I'm going to bed," Bucky said to Natasha, declining her offer to join them for a drink.

Y/N held out her hand and Bucky took it, intertwining his fingers with hers and letting her pull on it, trying not to laugh. "Hmm, tempting, but I'll pass," Bucky said again. "Night, Nat."

He hung up and dropped the phone on the floor before standing over T/N. Steve took that as his cue and stepped back, not wanting to see any more. A low moan made him rush downstairs and out of the gym, closing the door carefully behind him. Bucky and Y/N. Y/N and Bucky. They were… what were they? Should he ask? He wanted to know and at the same time he didn't.

He walked on until he reached the bar and forced a smile when Sam held up his hand and waved at him. Natasha was next to him and Becca in front of them, a beer in her hand and laughing at something the redhead was telling her. And a new fear hit him: did Becca know?

"Took you longer than ten minutes, Rogers! You're paying next!" Natasha joked with her trademark smile. Steve nodded slowly as he sat down next to the younger Barnes.

"You all right? You look like you've seen a ghost," Sam chuckled, taking a sip of his beer. Steve ignored him and turned to Becca.

"Where's Y/N? Is she coming?"

He wondered if he was being too direct. He could have made some small talk before asking about her, or maybe he should have asked about his brother first. But he needed to know if Becca knew about her best friend and Bucky. The brunette rolled her eyes and shrugged.

"She already had plans with her colleagues."

"Why? They're not as fun as us," Sam complained.

"And your brother?" Steve asked again and Becca tilted her head. "I called him, but he didn't pick up."

"He said he was tired," Natasha said, a smirk on her lips. "But from his tone, I bet he's with a girl."

"What?! He ditched us for a girl?" Sam complained again. "He deserves to work all weekend, Steve."

"I don't know, Sam," Steve murmured, looking down at his hands. He remembered Bucky's smile, Y/N's laugh and them holding hands. His best friend saying how much he missed them. And then he remembered that Y/N didn't work weekends. "He's been working a lot lately. I think he deserves a weekend off."

"Whaaaat?"

Their friends started talking at the same time. Sam was whining again, while Natasha and Becca were plotting how to ruin Bucky's weekend. Steve stood up, smiling.

"OK, next round's on me!"

[camillomea]

Red robin and rouges gallery 3

Tim didn't expect to open his eyes again. He was pretty sure he was going to die. But when he did, someone was screaming his name in panic. His vision was blurry, his ears were ringing, he was in terrible pain. His head wasn't on the ground anymore. It was on something softer. He couldn't quite make out his surroundings. He could feel a hand on his neck. Probably the person who was calling him, checking his pulse. The ringing in his ears was really bad, but he could still hear the half-intelligible voice of the person holding him, he could still hear the panic in the voice. He finally came to his senses enough to realize that the person holding him was a hater. He stuttered, "Uncle eddie." Riddler looked relieved to see him awake. "Hey Red. I'm here like I promised you, I'm here to get you," he said. Tim said, "It s-s-hurts. Uncle Eddie hurts so much. I-I-I was so scared," he said and started to cry. Eddie said, "shhhh. It's okay, you're safe now. You're going to be okay. You're going to be safe. Red, I need you to stay awake for me. okay? I'm going to take you to the doctor. He'll take care of the pain, but you have to stay awake." Tim could see the panic in his voice and on his face, despite the ringing in his ears and his blurry vision. Tim said, "I'm really tired." Eddie said, his voice low. Eddie said, "I know. I know. Just a little. Hang in there for a while, okay? Afterwards, you can sleep as much as you want, I promise." Tim whimpered quietly. It was obvious that he was in a lot of pain. Eddie said, "Red, honey, can you tell me who did this to you?" Tim said, "j-j-joker o-o-o. He wanted to do that Robin thing again, but in a more entertaining way. I-i-i-I stopped the bomb, just like you taught me." Eddie stiffened, taking a deep breath to calm himself, then he said, "It's okay, Red. Good job. You did a great job. I'm proud of you." Tim felt relieved to hear this despite the pain in his body. He started coughing up blood. Eddie picked him up. Mother Tim started screaming in pain. Eddie said "shhhh you'll be fine you'll be fine. I'll take you to doctor B. I promise you you'll be fine" and quickly took him to the car. Tim's eyes were blackened from the pain. His brain was pounding. Eddie laid him down on the back seat of the car. Tim could barely keep his eyes open. After making sure he wouldn't fall, Eddie got into the front seat and started the car. He stepped on the gas. His hands were covered in blood but he didn't care a bit, his only priority right now was to get the kid to the doctor. He picked up his phone and called someone. When the call was answered, he immediately said "I'm bringing Bradford Red to you. His condition is very urgent" his voice was full of panic and anger. His voice was dripping with murderous intent. A voice came from the other end of the line and was shouting "WHAT! WHAT HAPPENED". Eddie growled "he's the joker".

***

The Riddler had come to my doctor's house at full speed. Bradford was standing at the door. When he opened the back door and saw Red, he froze and was very angry, he growled "son of a bitch". They immediately carried Tim inside with the help of the Riddler. They put him inside. Bradford immediately started to take care of Tim. Eddie went to the bathroom. He tried to clean the blood off himself. His hands were shaking with anger. He cleaned himself up and changed his clothes. He took his phone. He called Oswald.

O- Hey Eddie hello.

E- Oswald hello

O- What's wrong? Your voice sounds bad

E- Red o o

O- Hey hey. Calm down calm down. What's wrong? Where are you? Is Red back? Is he hurt

E- Joker. That son of a bitch hurt little Red. He's in bad shape. I took him to the doctor. He had pressed the emergency button. I found him right away

O- Where's the joker

E- I don't know. When I got there, he was already gone

O- I'm coming there. It's okay. It's okay he'll be fine soon

E-....

O- are you okay

E- I'm physically fine. There was a lot of blood

O- it's okay it's okay he'll be fine. I promise you.

He said. Then he hung up after talking for a while. Then he sent a group message to Ivy and Harley.

E- I need water from the emergency pond Ivy you can set the fee. I'll accept anything

I-????? WHO HAPPENED WHAT

H- Was Oswald injured or?

E- Red

I- WHAT????

H- WHO HARASSED MY BABY

E- Your ex

[skeletonh0e]

Fuck it

Fresh Sans x Reader (SFW AND NSFW cuz I'm not a coward)

Literally everyone in the multiverse is going to judge you from a mile away

"Really? HIM???"

Yes. Him.

The strange thing about dating him though is that at first glance it's hard for people to tell if you two are like actually dating or if you two are just really good friends

Because given how Fresh reacts around everyone else it's actually hard to tell

He's touchy, he does kiss you just randomly on occasion, he's generally friendly and supportive but it makes it a bit hard to tell who he's into someone or just....

Being himself

You normally have to explicitly state that he's your boyfriend for others to kind of get it

Or Fresh says it, normally basically akin to "ayo yo yo! it's 8 o'clock me and my boo are supposed to watch all of fresh prince of bel air together! gotta scram!"

And yes, you are the boo in question

His pet names are normally again no different from what he calls others "bro, bruh, dude, homie" (yes he treats all these terms as gender neutral) but you do get the more actually romantic ones like "my boo" or "baby" if he's in a genuinely sweet mood

I will say he only has a vague sense of what he's doing, make no mistake if you managed to befriend him then pursue a romantic type of relationship with him, he trusts you completely and makes that abundantly clear. However he struggles with most emotions in general soooooo

Kind of just repeats things he sees on TV and goes off vibes

Dates are usually extremely cheesy as a result and painfully over the top, often done with his own twist about things. Think hiring a band to play you a song over a moon lit night dinner but the song is all start and the food is like chicken nuggets and mac n' cheese

Surprisingly also gives you a lot of gifts

Sometimes it's things you actually like and would expect from a romantic partner, other times it's just like gag gifts or something random he found that he thought you'd appreciate like pretty rocks, a jar of goo, or something you're pretty sure was an organ at one point (you don't know you don't ask)

One time proposed to you with a ring pop cuz he was told this was something people in relationships do

You still have the ring to this day ofc he got you the best of the best it never ends, never goes bad and you just have to clean it if it ever gets dirty

Also you basically have a free multi universal traveling service here, say the word and he'll take you anywhere. Hell, you don't even gotta say anything sometime he'll just pick you up and take you on an adventure

Which yes it doesn't matter how small or tall you are he will just randomly pick you up, the only difference is the way he does it as it can range from lifting you up above his head or tucking you under his shoulder

On a more serious note since he's not the most aware person about feelings and relationships you'll have to be painfully blind when communicating your feelings

Speaking of he's kind of shit at comforting you

He'll try, willing to hug and go "let it all out broski" but doesn't really know what to say

Especially if he's the reason your upset

Fresh: "bby who hurt you i will karate chop them so hard!"

Y/N: "It was you dumbass!"

Fresh: "....."

Fresh: *process to karate chop himself*

I wouldn't say he's super protective or even all that jealous for that matter, but he doesn't like people messing with you and he especially doesn't like people hurting you

So he's never afraid to intervene

Will just poof into existence between you and someone you were talking to while sounding off the worlds loudest airhorn

No one would call Fresh pure evil but uh, he definitely has some questionable morals. You may have to reign him here or there

Unless you wanna encourage that side of him ya know what they say YOLO baby

Definitely the type of partner to just annoy you like "you've gone too long without paying attention to me so I'm just gonna lay on top of you now"

He's very touchy with everyone in general but especially the case with you

Fairly big on PDA as a result which leads to the afterforementioned confusion with others not knowing how legit this attraction actually it

Hope you're ready to receive a lot of goofy ass text and very silly memes

Literally sliding into ur dms 24/7 and you cannot get rid of him

He wuuuuves you ❤️🧡💚💛💙💜

NSFW (BELOW THE CUT MINORS LOOK AWAY)

Does not know what sex is

Man is definitely asexual, it's a bit unclear where he falls specifically on the spectrum and trying to get him to pick a label is hard. However he's never had urges and certainly never had any reason to get into it

Until now at least

But you will have to explain it otherwise the moment you attempt something he's gonna be CONFUSED

And explain in detail cause he's gonna have questions

A lot of questions

And he still doesn't one hundred percent get it, but he's not disgusted by it and while he might feel little to no sexual arousal

He does like making you happy

He has the ability to make whatever junk you want, so it's basically build a bear

It's still Fresh though get ready for him goofy ass to just keep yapping

Very vocal especially when he turns you into a quivering moaning mess

While he can make his own gentials his favorite thing to do is give head or really just use his hands, the latter allows him to keep talking. And with thus man's extreme stamina he can do it for hours so again you'll have to make it VERY clear when too much is too much

Also an aspect he kind of gets into is lingerie, but I think he just likes you seeing you in pretty outfits and enjoyed skin to skin (skin to bone) contact a lot

Naturally expects for the focus to be on you and him to top especially since he all but outright confirms he's in this for YOU not for him

If you try and turn the tables on him he will be an EXTREMELY whiney and needy bottom especially if you tease him

Be warned too much teasing and he'll flip the roles back with a VENGEANCE

On a more serious note, definitely will have to ease him into extreme kinks not only because everything is new to him but he might also take it overboard

He is genuinely trying though so be easy on him

[rhiannonsknife]

DROP UR HOT TAKE GIRLIE WE SUPPORT YOU

-🔆

okay, listen!!! in the grand scheme of things, this is such a non-issue. the show raises way more important questions than this, and i wasn’t even planning on posting this note. it was just a silly little rant in my notes app because my brain latched onto it, so here we are! i wrote this before episode 4 so it’s spoiler free :) (the only things i edited just now are in italics)

also, for context, this is coming from someone who genuinely could not care less about shaving and will never not stand for the fact that body hair is beautiful. if this wasn’t clear from the great bush discourse yet.

anyway. to the people saying ‘it’s a hallucination’ in response to the (minimal but very important) no armpit hair discourse: first of all, be ready to hear from me again if shauna still doesn’t have armpit hair in other scenes, because by your logic, it should definitely be there then. (yeah…this whole argument was proven wrong since then, so…)

but also!!! also!!! while a part of me wants to say this is kind of irrelevant, i really don’t think it is. name more than three movies and/or tv shows where all of the cast actually have a realistic portrayal of body hair, especially the women/non-men. i’ll wait.

like, sure, coach ben has a full face of hair because he (obviously) can’t be bothered to shave out there/probably didn’t even bring a fuck-ass razor for a weekend trip, but most (not all, but most) of the girls have clean-shaven legs, armpits etc etc (we’ve already seen this outside of hallucinations, so don’t tell me it’s about that again)

and yeah, maybe it’s just about the cast’s personal preference, but if you’re on a show about being stranded in the wilderness for nineteen months, giving up shaving for a couple of weeks before filming to reflect a more realistic portrayal of the female body doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch idk 😭

it just highlights a bigger issue in media, which is basically my whole point here: how women’s bodies are always portrayed in a way that conforms to beauty standards, even in situations where it makes no sense. we see men with stubble, unkempt hair to sell the idea that they’re surviving, but when it comes to women? smooth legs, shaved armpits. you could be watching a post-apocalyptic movie, a historical drama, even something like yellowjackets, and still, the natural way women’s bodies actually look is rarely ever acknowledged.

and i get that, to some extent, actors might not want to change their grooming habits for a role. like, obviously, no one should be forced to do something that makes them uncomfortable! there are actors who put their bodies through extreme changes for roles, whether it’s major weight loss/gain, muscle gain etc. and it’s completely reasonable for someone to set their own boundaries with that. but the thing is…growing body hair out isn’t some huge, irreversible transformation. it’s not a physical strain, it’s not a health risk, it’s literally just skipping a step in your routine. it saves time rather than adding any sort of challenge, so what exactly is speaking against doing it? because if it’s just that we, as a society, still think women with body hair don’t “look good” on screen, then yeah. that’s kind of the whole issue. (chat again: not that deep. I KNOW. this is just my take here)

but at the same time, why is body hair seen as something so unthinkable for women to have on screen in the first place? like, we’ve been conditioned to think it’s “unhygienic” or “unappealing,” when in reality, it’s literally just…hair. men get to be scruffy and unshaven in movies all the time for the sake of realism!!

— a/n: guys again: it really isn’t that big of a deal, i know, and i was literally just yapping in my notes app, that’s all this is about. because i feel very strongly about the way our bodies tend to be portrayed in media. but after the great bush discourse, i just felt like pointing it out!!