#were all harmed in the making of this video

[cliosunshine]

𝐑𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐯𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐭 🐾

or how the first time your boyfriend meets your cat doesn't go as planned (he survives don't worry)

Jason Todd x gn!reader

Warnings: none, reader is a doctor and Norbert is a chunky boi

After successfully taking down another trafficking ring, Jason was ready to head back home.

As he helped the last person out of their restraints, shots got fired from behind him, causing him to promptly duck by the nearest car. He went to take his guns into his hands, but quickly realized he must've threw them earlier when approaching the little girls kept in the warehouse, trying to appear as little intimitanding as possible.

"Shit," he muttered, searching for a way out. Without thinking, he grabbed the body of one of the men he had shot and used it as his shield until he got to the other side of the street, where he could see one of the men's rifles.

Quickly discarding of the corpse, he took the weapon into his hands, muscle memory kicking in as he fired at the sniper perched by the window of an abandoned building.

Retrieving his guns, he managed to run a few blocks towards his bike before more shots were being fired at him, certainly from Black Mask's goons.

As he fired back, one of the bullets from the aggressors pierced throught his left thigh, making him grunt in pain.

The adrenaline in his body was too high for him to fully comprehend the situation. Ultimately he managed to kill some of the goons before storming off on his bike.

While skimming trought the desolated streets of Gotham, Jason knew he needed medical attention asap, but his apartment was too far away and in no way in hell was he going to the manor, so he opted for the only other option he had.

Your place.

Now, you and him had been dating for quite some time, but he had never been to your apartment before. It was mainly to keep you out of harm's way, were someone to see a vigilante coming every night to your window and associating you with him.

The other reason was your cat, Norbert.

He had seen pictures and videos of him, but had been warned by every single one of your friends and apparently Dick as well, that he despised men.

Dick had learned it the hard way when he was passing throught your neighbourhood and saw you desperately trying to coax Norbert back into you apartment, since he somehow got himself on the fire escape and had no intention of budging.

Imagine your horror upon seeing Nighwing picking up your cat and trying to pet him and coo at him.

"Aw, what a cutie, what's his name-"

"Nighwing, no!-"

But it was too late: your cat had already scratched the man's cheek. Dick screamed as he let the cat go and almost tumbled over the fire escape. Now everytime somebody brought Norbert up in conversation, you could alway hear him cussing out your cat under his breath.

But Jason's mind was too far gone to fully underatnd what was happening, all he was thinking of was to get to shelter, to find a way not to bleed to death in the middle of the road, so up your building's fire escape he went.

He had made it to your window and knocked on it lighlty, knowing you'd be up reading a book before going to bed.

As if on cue, you arrived jogging with a toothbrush in your mouth, hastily sliding up your window upon seeing your boyfriend's doubled over figure.

"Oh my God, love, are you okay?" You hadn't spotted the gunshot yet, too preoccupied to bring his massive frame into your home.

"Hey, sweetheart," He said, taking his helmet off. Sweat made his hair cling to his forehead, a groan leaving his lips as he tried his best not to put his weight on the injured leg, "Sorry if this is the way I visit your place for the first time."

You gave him a worried look as you assessed the wound before running to the bathroom, getting rid of your toothbrush and pulling out the first aid kit. You thanked every entity in this universe for making you choose to go to medical school as you quickly returned to the living room, where you found Jason slumped against your coffee table.

You quickly began working on his leg, giving him a gauze to bite into.

"Tahnh yuh babh"

You tried to suppress a chuckle as you finished wrapping up his leg and gave him a glass of water and osme painkillers. You kissed his cheek, "No problem, love, I'm literally doing my job"

Jason gave you a lopsided grin both from pure exhaustion and sleepiness, and he felt his eyes begin to droop.

You shook him lightly, afraid to injure him further but definitely not wanting him to worsen his conditions.

"Hey, baby, you need to stay awake for me for a bit, yeah?"

"Mh-I knoww...I just-"

"Meow."

You stared at your boyfriedn with an horrified expression, eyes wide as your fingers grazed his bandages.

Jason seemed to have lost every single ounce of sleep in his body, matching your expression.

"Meow."

Uh oh.

"Don't move," you pleaded with him, taking his hands in yours, "I'll bring him here, just- holy cow!"

Just as you begun to turn, you spotted Norbert, your cat, in all his chunky orange glory, staring the two of you down - or better, zeroing in his amber eye on Jason, who for the first time that night, felt true fear.

"What do I do?" he whispered to you as he held eye contact with your cat, both of his hands tensing up under your grip.

You sighed, standing up, "Just stay there," then you went over Norbert and picked him up.

The feline instantly melted in your hold, purring slightly and nuzzling into you, but you could tell he wasn't fully calming down. He was still looking at Jason and his tail was swaying from side to side.

You just hoped you wouldn't have to stich Jason up again tonight.

You made your way over, taking small steps towards your boyfriend, who was still laying on the ground with a cautious look on his face.

"I made him smell some of your clothes the last few months," you started to explain, "and he even cuddled up to me in bed while i was wearing your hoodie, you know, the black Metallica one..." you took a few more steps, now directly in front of him.

You kneeled down, your arms tightening slightly around Norbert, "I really hope that did the trick,"

The cat sensed your nervousness and thinking it was due to Jason presence, hissed at him, swatting a clawed paw in his direction.

You closed your eyes, taking a big breath and trying to calm your nerves. This was a big deal for you and you cared bout both of them just as deeply, so you really hoped Norbert learned to accept Jason.

"Outstretch one of you hands towards him," you instructed Jason, "let him sniff you."

You loosened your grip on your cat and he jumped out of your arms, cautiosly making his way to Jason's hand. He let a low grumble as a warning, but upon sniffing his hand, he took a few momwnts to assess the situation. Nornert looked at you and you muttered a good boy to him, stroking his back in praise. He meowed and turned back to Jason, looking at him and then, and only then, he softly bumped his head on his hand, his fluffy tail up as Jason run his hand over his back. You both let out a relieved breath in unison, your shoulders visibly relaxing.

You watched the scene in awe, you eyes starting to well up with tears.

Jason sensed the mood switch and turned his head towards you. He was still smiling for not being smacked or bitten by your cat yet, so he scooted over, daring to do the impossible: hugging you in front of Norbert.

He had heard the stories: your guy friends and most importantly your ex boyfriend had tried to do so and had eneded up being chased around the house by a raging murderous orange ball of fur. They lived to tell the tale, but had since refused to step foot into your home ever again.

He hoped it would go differently for him.

Taking a leap of faith, he swung his arm around your shoulders, you thighs barely touching as his other hand cradled your chin.

"Hey," he looked into your eyes with worry, "you okay?"

You nodded with wide eyes, your left hand cupping his cheek with a relieved smile.

"Yeah, I'm happy he didn't attack you, it's all," you said but then your expression faltered as you heard another meow and saw Norbert staring menacingly at Jason's hand on your chin, then at Jason and then at the hand again.

He quickly dropped his hand and chuckled in apology, but you decided to see just how far you could push your luck and decided to pick Norbert up and place him onto your lap so he'd be between you two.

He unsurprisingly loafed up on you immediately and rested his chin on your right knree, staring up at the two of you.

"Try again, love," you said to Jason, who didn't need to be told twice as he eagerly tilted you chin up and leaned down for a searing kiss, his lips moulding against your own. You melted at the way his slightly chapped lips seemed to slot perfectly against yours, sighing in contemptment as your fingers twiddled witht the damp strands of hair that were stuck to his nape. You slightly tugged them and that earned you a mewl from Jason, the sound vibrating in your own mouth and making you smile in satisfaction.

Eventually pulling away to catch your breath, Jason chased your lips again but you playfully swatted his chest chuckling, "Don't push your luck, Jay. Norbert's patience runs out very quickly," you whispered as you looked down, petting the cat on your lap, "Aren't you a good boy, uh? Letting me kiss my boyfriend without drawing blood,"

Jason let out a whine, glaring at the cat and then making puppy eyes at you, "Wasn't I your good boy?"

"Jason, oh my god-"

[realityhop]

“For my part I consider that it is better to be adventurous than cautious, because fortune is a woman, and if you wish to keep her under it is necessary to beat and ill-use her; and it is seen that she allows herself to be mastered by the adventurous rather than by those who go to work more coldly. She is, therefore, always, womanlike, a lover of young men, because they are less cautious, more violent, and with more audacity command her." — Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince (1513)

"Glory-seeking heroes have dominated boys’ fictional worlds since humans started telling stories. In the classic narrative, the superheroes, fantasy warriors, and video game avatars tend to be one man, working alone, often with some kind of superhuman power or at the very least hypermasculine strength and abilities, who slays the villain, saves the day in a blaze of glory, and usually "gets the girl" as a result. … At their best, these narratives can provide enticing imaginative worlds and valuable lessons about morality, bravery, and self-sacrifice. Clearly, the vast majority of young boys consume them and go on to live happy, productive lives. But there are invisible harms to this impossible vision of manhood, and boys can easily internalize damaging expectations from them about masculinity and their their own place in the world. Boys are socialized to see themselves as the hero on his journey and the main character in any story, and to see everyone else, and especially women, as minor characters or narrative foils. … this sense of specialness and superiority comes at a price. Taken together, the messages about individual heroism contained in these stories can end up breeding an odd combination in boys of both entitlement and inadequacy. The hero’s story creates impossibly punishing expectations for boys of what a man should be: physically invulnerable, emotionally bulletproof, and ideally, superhuman. Actual boys and men, with human flaws and vulnerabilities, will always fall short. Failure is built into the project. … I think about the friendship and relationship narratives we give to girls, that help them absorb the idea that they are part of a relational system, a community that everyone contributes to and draws from, while boys are socialized to think they need to be unique and special. Christensen writes about the ancient Greek concept of kleos, a kind of fame and glory or "eternal renown" that a hero earned through his great deeds. This was the basic reward system for the classical hero, his motivating drive. And at some level, that hunger for specialness and glory has endured as a kind of baseline expectation in the modern male psyche. “I think it’s about innate ability. You believe that you’re innately better and good," Christensen explains. With all this in the background, it makes sense that men might avoid the boring tasks of adulthood. If you are shooting for eternal renown, doing the laundry or studying for your social studies test might well feel a little beneath you. The model of quiet diligence and cooperation that girls are encouraged to emulate can easily read as emasculating when compared to the glorious feats of the hero. But in most situations that life throws at us, quiet diligence is more important to success than splashy acts or a feeling that you are special. It’s not innate genius or superpowers or once-in-a-lifetime feats of bravery that get you into college or land you a job or force you out of your childhood bedroom. Mostly it’s tedious, incremental drudgery. It’s perhaps not surprising that boys are spending so much time playing video games—they provide the only arenas in which they can play out their hero fantasies and expectations of glory, instead of fulfilling the tedious tasks of the real world. The pressure to be masculine might have helped boys launch into adulthood when it was an economic requirement, when men were the sole breadwinners and had to provide financially for a family. But now, with most women working and less expectation that men will be the main wage earners, masculinity has been stripped of the only part of the story that really promoted adulthood. Without the breadwinning, what’s left are just toxic scraps—a grab bag of childish vanities and impossible pressures." — Ruth Whippman, BoyMom: Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity (2024)

"It was Machiavelli who broke with the classical and Christian aspiration to temper the tyrannical temptation through an education in virtue, scoring the premodern philosophic tradition as an unbroken series of unrealistic and unreliable fantasies of “imaginary republics and principalities that have never existed in practice and never could; for the gap between how people actually behave and how they ought to behave is so great that anyone who ignores everyday reality in order to live up to an ideal will soon discover that he has been taught how to destroy himself, not how to preserve himself.” Rather than promoting unrealistic standards for behavior—especially self-limitation—that could at best be unreliably achieved, Machiavelli proposed grounding a political philosophy upon readily observable human behaviors of pride, selfishness, greed, and the quest for glory." — Patrick Deneen, Why Liberalism Failed (2018)

Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

[erikagrape]

why do you think there is going to be a marriage reveal soon? i’ve been seeing so many people talk about this and i just don’t get it. i think they keep making all of these husband jokes just to get a rise out of us and give us some enrichment. so many posts have said “that’s going to be the thing in march” when really i believe it’ll either be a dog (even that is bit of a stretch), a podcast OR a solo phil thing on his own channel (which i think those two are waaaaay more plausible bc they are such private people)

idk mate i just have a feeling lmao, it's fun to theorise when there's no harm. i just found it a bit sus that they went to vegas for like a day and it was suspiciously close to their 15th anniversary, and they were acting particularly married in the new google feud video. i mean the life insurance thing, what the hell was that about? also i really like the idea of a "vegas video 2.0" where they actually do get married, i think it would be the wildest full circle moment ever. but mostly it's all for lols, i'm just having fun.

[nm-mattuz]

Nobody better than FUSSION!!!

I guess I do edits now...

I always just go perusing through GIFs on tenor for these clips.

It definitely originated as just for Gogeta.

[halfdeadwallfly]

[megamozartx]

Yeah so I read that article too (with heavy emphasis that it's all alleged, because this article gets........certain facts wrong and they don't even refer to the right version of Roll as they call her "Roll Caskett, Mega Man's 14 year old companion" which is uhhh...not classic Roll lol) and was like "fuck it I'll draw this."

"But Mozart, I thought your version of Piano didn't have weapons?"

Yes

But sometimes she does.

Like now because ew gross.

[arainaizevran]

Wyll: What would Minsc say? Ah yes - 'Go for the eyes, Boo!'

[coulsonlives]

I just had to share this video because holy shit, it hits the nail right on the head! So well spoken. This stuff needs to be circulated more, esp with the growing number of people thinking they have this because of misinformation, or just outright faking it.

[trans-yllz]

it's always good to foster empathy for animals and I think that there are so many creatures that are far more similar to humans than we give them credit for (or perhaps more accurately that humans are not as special as we make ourselves out to be) but anthropomorphism can truly be so dangerous... it's important to remember that humans are Also animals, but other animals are, obviously, Not humans and we lack an ability to communicate with them fully. trying to shove human emotions onto them hurts conservation more than it helps it. you can never actually know what an animal is feeling or what potential feelings mean to an animal. we can Guess, but broad and vague descriptors of behavior are always better than assigning human emotions that can have dangerous implications. a shark is not "angry", it is acting aggressively towards something, a lion is not a cold blooded killer, it is hunting for food. once you try to give animals morals or try to moralize their actions you enter very dangerous territory, especially if you're just like. a random person on the internet and not a scientist that studies animal behavior

[jrueships]

IM GONNA CRY LIL KIDDO BASKETBALL CAMPS ARE SO SWEET WAHHH LOOK AT THAT LIL TINY SQUIRT IN TBE BIG SHIRT IM CRHING

oh to be a joyous little gg!!

NEW NEPH N UNC !!!????

[tariah23]

Oh brother

[mx-paint]

.

[weedstop]

no thoughts, just MEG

2008… you just had to be there

[luvyeni]

( reaction ) unintentionally riding them ! ୨୧ 一 엔시티드림 ՞

⸃ ⸰ ⌁ unintentionally riding nct dream on a rideヾ

boyfriend!엔시티드림・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ ‎ nudes , allusions to sex wc ・ ‎n/a ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎| ‎ click to library

request. hear me out…… what about nct dream going with yn to that ride disco pang pang and you end up on top of them (idk if you’ve seen a video that’s been going around where a girl is literally riding other girl😭)

�� ୨୧ authors note 」 those rides are scary as hell i couldn't imagine falling into a strangers lap like the video.

﹙ 𐙚 : mark﹚ .ᐟ

he knows you mean no harm; the ride was quite literally tossing you both around , and you just happened to land on him — but it didn't stop his cock from growing inside is jeans. he's stressed , he knows you feel it. “fu-fuck im so sorry.” he said , your face is hot , cheeks are rosy as you feel him beneath you , he's embarrassed , but so turned on , he was gonna cum . “but fuck you feel good , im sorry , im so sorry .” he's just wishing the damn ride would end.

“fuck im sorry but im about to cum.”

﹙ 𐙚 : renjun﹚ .ᐟ

he's embarrassed as hell; but his ass is not about to let you know that. “re-renjun are you hard?” he scoffed , rolling his eyes. “you're straddling me , and this ride is bouncing you on my dick , of course I'm hard , wouldn't you be hard if you were in my position? i know you're probably turned on right now , don't make it seem like it's only me.” he stressed , he's about to cum in his pants and he wasn't about to give you leverage to further tease him. “oh fuck will this ride ever fucking end.”

“we're leaving this fucking amusement park arter this.”

﹙ 𐙚 : jeno﹚ .ᐟ

his hands immediately come to your waist to hold you from falling when the ride tossed you into his lap. “hi.” he tries to smile it off — even though the ride is practically bouncing you on his dick. you're actually the one profusely apologizing , but he pretends that it doesn't even bother him , even though he's hard a fucking rock and you're riding him unintentionally in front of all these people and he has to force himself not to moan. “i don't think i can get up after this.” he said. “it's already embarrassing with you on top of me.”

“i don't want these people to see my dick hard.”

﹙ 𐙚 : haechan﹚ .ᐟ

shameless motherfucker; you would've thought he was already hard before the ride tossed you into the boys lap. “haechan are you serious?” he smirking holding you close by your waist. “you're grinding on top of me and you're confused as to why im hard.” he scoffed , your eyes widened at his sudden brazen attitude , you knew he was a wild card but even this was too much for you. you only come back when he groans , he doesn't even care.

“fuck if this ride doesn't stop soon i’m gonna cum.”

﹙ 𐙚 : jaemin﹚ .ᐟ

with the smirk on his face , you would've thought he orgistrated the entire thing himself , his hands on your waist , meanwhile you're the one who's embarrassed as hell. “why are you so embarrassed?” he knew you could feel his hard on , he could feel you as well. “im-im glad you're having a good time.” you on the other hand , your body was on fire. “I am baby i am.” the ride still tossing you around but he made sure to hold you still.

“but i'm more excited about the time we're about to have when we get off this ride.”

﹙ 𐙚 : chenle﹚ .ᐟ

completely turns it on you; yeah he's the one thats hard , but you're the one on top of him and you're the one who caused it in his eyes , not the ride. “if you wanted to ride me you should've just asked , not force me on this nauseating ride so you can do it shamelessly.” you wanted to slap him so bad , but you were too busy grabbing the bar to keep yourself from flying off. “sh-shut up.” your face hot from embarrassment as you straddled him. “im not gonna cum in my pants like a teenager.”

“but all bets are off when we get off this ride.”

﹙ 𐙚 : jisung﹚ .ᐟ

he wants to kill himself to moment he feels you on top of him; his face is red , he wanted to die — but it felt good and that's what made him feel like a pervert , because it wasn't sexual , but his stupid cock didn't seem to get the message. he swore the person who managed the ride had something against him because the ride was never ending and no matter how many times you tried to get up , the ride was plopping you back into his lap. “ji-jisung.” your hands holding his shoulders , he stops you before you can finish.

“please don't say anything , im sorry , so fucking sorry.”

©LUVYENI

[kaz-oooo]

Now, hypothetically speaking, if I was former friends with a controversial YouTuber and I wanted to make a bunch of money really quick I’d hop onto YouTube, click bait the FUCK out of his name and face, retweet stuff my fans were saying about the situation and talk about it anytime I got the opportunity.

I definitely wouldn’t go radio silent about the whole drama.

I wouldn’t quietly unfollow that person and then tell the guy interviewing me that I very explicitly did not want to talk about it.

I wouldn’t make a 10 minute comedy video where I spend 2 of those minutes talking about the guy in question.. but only after you watch me go beast mode, talk about how small Andrew Tate’s penis is and pretend to be Logan Paul for 6 and a half minutes first.

I wouldn’t stream for 2 hours about a different guy on my alt channel.

I just wouldn’t make any other content. My sole focus would be on the drama at hand.. at least until I couldn’t drag it out any longer. Cos y’know.. I’m hyper focused on the money here, I — a hypothetical twitch streamer with an average of 5 million followers — really need more fucking money, I’m absolutely desperate!!!

Oh… I also think taking a deal from one of the most homophobic/racist/sexist/etc streaming platforms would really help with my dwindling finances. As would things like selling overpriced plushies and offering up feet pics in exchange for ticket sales. Anything for that sweet sweet cash!

[darylsfavoritegirl]

warning: age!gap (reader is in her 20s, Logan is in his 40s)

۶•ৎ

Logan loves your thighs.

Logan locked eyes on you all along, from the very first day you had joined the x men as a mutant.

You had tried to have control over yourself many times, not give in with the wolverine for he was much older than you.

Though harmless flirting couldn't harm anyone, you believed. There would be plenty days where you would play along with his fancy words he'd utter, trying to get a reaction out of you, fluster you next to others.

It turned into a brittle, passive-aggresive game easily. If he was trying to get under your skin by putting you into tough situations next to others, you were going to do the same.

One day he was in the kitchen of the apartment you were in for a quick meeting together in washington with the others, he was sipping a cup of water as he put it on the countertop, his hands resting on it. You had to grab yourself something to eat quickly as you hadn't eaten a piece all day. You had to reach to a cupboard he was standing infront of, when you murmured "Logan, could you-" softly and before even letting him move even a little, you got infront of him as your ass grinded against his jeans and he had to take a step back as he looked down at your hair. He smelled in your perfume, for a second he had to close his eyes, not letting his animal urges control him when you were obviously doing this on purpose. He was fine with it all when he had set eyes upon you, looking at you like a piece of his favorite meal and working towards having it, nevertheless, you had never responded back for quite a time but once you did, he had your game figured out. Yet it was only driving him more insane.

The way you'd wear the skimpiest shorts and skirts and bend over infront him on a windy day, the way your thighs would be much times larger when you sat down, the way you were inside of his head all times and he wouldn't complain, the way your eyes would form that special look of yours you'd have whenever you flirted with someone else, the way your hair would look after a shower, the way your skin send off a radiant, pure, angelic smell and the way it was so soft and he'd get a feel of them whenever you'd stand next to eachother, the way yours would graze his. All of this would cause him to want more of you, crave you and your body and everything of you.

You couldn't believe yourself how you'd feel a flicker of jealousy sparkling inside of you whenever you'd see him with other women. Whenever he'd have one next to him, entering his own room at a random hotel you stayed.

"Busy as ever, huh?" You'd joke

He would raise his eyes and point the woman he was with in an insinuating manner. He was a charming man after all, women would drool all over him as he knew how to have his way with them.

The second he was out of sight, your smile would drop leaving you with a stoned face. You'd keep working on your plans to shrug off the distracting thoughts in the lobby.

One of those days, you found yourself on his bed all dazed, all eager for his hands on you. "I've finally managed to steal you for the night, baby." He'd say slowly as he was undoing his belt and jeans.

He loved stretching you out with his girth, he loved making you watch yourself take him all in on a mirror, or a with video he begged to take. The more you would take him deep in your cunt, the more your eyes would roll back, so overwhelmed with him in you, the way he forced you to have an eye contact with him, the way he wanted nothing but to study your face and expressions as he was balls deep in you, going deeper and deeper. The way your cunt released juices, coating his cock and wetting down your thighs.

The way you'd whimper, the way you'd moan, the way you'd stutter his name between shaky breaths, the way your brows would crease against his touch would make him lose it.

And oh did he adore your thighs.

Some mornings you'd get ready together to go wherever you were needed. You'd put on your panties on first and before even letting you put on anything else he'd call for you.

You'd go to the room he would be in, he'd usually be sitting down on a chair next to the bed, topless. He'd wrap his hands around your waist, right above your hips as he'd bury his face at the bottom of your stomach and he'd stay like that for a few seconds as you'd run your fingers through his hair and feel his beard tickling your belly, and his strongs arms welcoming you in.

He'd place kisses on the front of your thighs as one of his hands would be grabbing your ass.

Sometimes he'd find you lying down on his bed, he'd sit down at the end of it, eyes deviantly roaming your legs. And then he'd pull you to himself by grabbing your thighs, with his body placed between two of your legs, he'd lean in, gripping your thighs as he'd travel his kisses up your body, from your thighs to your lips.

He'd bite your inner thighs softly time to time, enough to make your face grimace but nothing more as he'd chuckle while his head being buried between your thighs.