#well.... I could reinstall it
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I don't think Skyrim is the game I have the most hours in but somehow it's the one where, if I hear the music, I get the strongest urge to play.
#was watching something else#and youtube decided that next up#was a skyrim music & ambience video#and INSTANTLY I was just like#well.... I could reinstall it
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hi everyone! no page today, probably not sunday either. my pc has been out of commission for over a month so i've been drawing on my laptop--but i'm getting to the point where i really would like to 3d model my backgrounds to make them a little easier on me and give me more energy to experiment/make pages nicer, so i'm going to try to hold out until my pc gets fixed and i can do so for these next couple of pages.
it'll be a lot of front-loaded work, but it'll be worth it in the long run, i think!
#not boughclan#sorry for the inconvenience!#i've been thinking about doing it for a while anyway#but the next couple of pages i want to figure out what the camp looks like for real since that's where they'll be taking place#hoping my pc is close to fixed! i've got a bsod loop. thought it was my ram but ordering replacement ram didn't fix the issue#my partner tried to wipe my startup disk and reinstall windows but it cant even get to the installation point on my pc#we're going to try to reseat the cpu with new thermal paste#and if THAT doesn't work i'll try overclocking my ram#and if that fails as well............ i'll ask my tech friend and if they don't have any ideas then i'm going to take it in to professional#if it's getting to a week+ with no progress i'll try to draw the pages anyway!#lately i've been playing a pokemon sacred gold nuzlocke and thinking about a nuzlocke comic as well#it started as afun thing and now i'm like. wait but this could be fun#boughclan would have precedence but i do enjoy drawing pokemon every once in a while. would probably be a once-a-month kind of deal#anyway this has been life updates with selkie#selkie rabble
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Does this hurt? (Patreon)
Bonus:
I love surfacetable.txt <3
#Doodles#W. D. Ghoster#If it was anyone other than him.... But it /is/ him that's the thing#Backing up a bit lol - in doing some Surface Tests to make sure everything's going well (It is! No errors popped! :D) I got curious#Y'know wanting to compare to see how many animations or elements make up a surface! It's interesting! And fun!#And then discovering that certain very rare animations can be seen again without resetting or reinstalling or what have you hehe <3#I've already seen those they're not a spoiler they're just harder to come by - I want to appreciate and admire them a bit longer!#Which was all well and fine and good and dandy and not a problem until I was idly clicking through not really paying attention to what#I've still never punched Ghoster - I haven't even played with my Neutral Run in a while I just want to keep petting him#So I hadn't seen the animation(s) - haven't sought them out haven't even really looked too much into screenshot of#It was very startling! I was worried!! I immediately went to check my stats and indeed I ''hadn't'' punched him - 1000+ Pets and no Punches#But... I saw it happen#He doesn't know because it was Just An Animation - him Just A Ghost - but I saw it I experienced it I was there for it#Yes that first time it was an accident but in grabbing these gifs I did it again on purpose#(How's my cursor acting btw lol)#There's a bit of Flowey about it all - made me wonder if Ghosts could ever be programmed to ''know'' a Surface Test happened#Really - if it were any other Ghost than his I probably wouldn't be thinking about it so much - but by nature of who he is...#So yeah anyway I stopped after this - no more spoilers for me#I'll look elsewhere for reference for now - I still want to experience his routes fairly blind haha#Oh and a bonus surfacetable.txt ♥ Yay ♥ I was so excited for that haha I love renaming things!#I couldn't figure out why certain captions were overlapping for a bit - figured it out by comparing the Hunter/Smoker table lol#Picking things up in tiny little pinches! Every little step forward! Doing!
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man, i just want to see if there's any threads about silent hill 2 remake breaking so hard it doesn't even boot up anymore but all i find are people being evil about women on the internet
#happy halloween i guess#the real frights (besides all of the beautiful women skittering along the walls with their many legs)#were the men we found complaining on the internet that 'they made the women ugly and that's censorship' along the way#that prison level sure can is scary#so scary that it fucking broke my entire game lmao#gonna reinstall and see if that fixes it but was hoping i would not have to do that on my shitty rental internet 😩#i will say that this game runs like ass to anyone who is considering it#i'm running it on medium graphics with specs above the recommended and she still do chug when there's more than one thing happening#and let me say there are often several things happening#probably things i could tweak to make it run better but god as soon as i have to tweak a game to get it to you know. run well. i'm gone.#i just miss my wife my beautiful wife#too bad she died three years ago of that damn disease and no sooner than that by any other means or et cetera#i'm sure these thematically loaded ladies who keep hurting me from behind corners hold no particular significance#just a regular trip to my special place that is now the dead wife hell dimension where a large man is hunting me for sport#a large man who is the embodiment of sexually charged masculine violence#which i'm sure means nothing#and is hunting me to mete out specific and thematically hamfisted judgment#for some wrongdoing or another#which could honestly be anything#shoutout to the one guy on steam who is like um was i supposed to get what happened on a first playthrough?#and like. well. yes. because it literally and directly tells you. so yes. sorry.#i will also say that if it destroyed my save in the process#well. i would not like that very much.#but i suppose the real problem is that they made the women ugly. because of woke. the DEI ghouls are taking everything from us.#[picture of average skinny white woman]
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lain help me
#wifi fucky. can't even load youtube videos or tumblr notifs or ANY OF MY DASH BEYOND THE POST BAR#and i think i might've accidentally deleted tcoaal which is upsetting if true. i have stupid fucking genshin right there on my desktop#despite disliking it and rarely playing but if my go to 'wifi won't fucking work' game is gone it'll be my 13th reason#and yeah i have it on steam so i could hypothetically reinstall it but STEAM NEEDS WIFI .#the chokehold this one has on me is unreal i have so many (read: 7) other offline games on here i haven't finished and i still constantly#replay it . but those other 7 games might as well not exist 2 me bc why would i play smthing else when the one i've played 5 times already#is there .#romeo.txt
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Talking to MJ & seeing her posts make me wanna play TS4. Is there a mod where you can finally paint ceilings yet?
#i would try to figure out my game and install some things but my desktop has some kinks it needs to work out#and idk when im gonna get it fixed because priorities#hopefully very soon though#with all the recent packs i would hope i could play for longer than 2 weeks before becoming bored again#that was always my problem with ts4#after downloading a shit ton of cc youre just bored after 3 hrs of playing#i also wouldnt mind reinstalling ts3 either#but listen#i really hate the idea of having so many cc/mods slowing down my build now#it takes up so much fucking space#gbs on top of gbs of cc#even with merging you still have to store the unmerged files as backup.. so annoying#also hi!#i havent forgotten about this place#but life happens#hope you guys are all well
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the poketism is trying to dig its claws into me so im reinstalling pokemon violet on my switch to play through the game all over again. my favorite activity last time i played was shiny hunting, but without NSO its incredibly difficult to get herba mystica for shiny hunting sandwiches and i do NOT want to spend money on that shit again just so i can join raids
#&c.#chatter chatter#i completed the pokedex by trading with people who have scarlet pokemon#and the first time i got a shiny it was a gogoat and later on i traded him away for a regular glaceon i thought was shiny#i still regret that. its a funny way to lose my FIRST EVER SHINY in pokemon... but i think i should get another shiny gogoat i miss him#pokemon scarvi just has a lovely pokedex. my favorite of the games i played. and also my favorite mechanics#i love that youre given like 15 pokeballs right out of the gate and then you can just catch everything you see#also toby fox made music for the game. and of course it fucking bops#pokemon#pokemon violet#pokemon scarvi#unsigned#i would just emulate the game if my computer could run well enough to get past the first area#but some people have said that problem went away when they got to the rest of the island so maybe i just need to persist a bit longer...#idk im already reinstalling it on my switch
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kinda wanna move onto FNV with the Jack playthrough but I wanna finish the travel log series for fo3 first….
#I wanna do FNV travel logs as well but I should finish fo3 ones first#just so it’s chronological#but I’d have to reinstall fo3 then downgrade it then get all my mods working like I had them#also I think the save is gone so I’ve lost his character#well tbh I could just go onto my old ssd and get his save but that’s a lot of work#I’ll probably do it anyway though
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BAHAH pls i need a fic where ellie’s cockblocking gets to the point where aaron is desperately asking auntie penelope or jj to babysit her and jack for a night.. he would even entrust spencer for a few hours if nobody else was available just for some alone time😫🤭
on hiatus
this concept is so funny i love it cw; mentions of sex (nothing explicit), brief suggestive content, bau teasing aaron, reader referred to as mom, dad!aaron wc; 1k
"Can't you ask?"
"Well, I could." Aaron's gaze shot to the side, through the blinds and down into the bullpen.
"It wouldn't hurt, right? Because I don't know about you, but I can't wait another night." You exhaled, a slight buzzing effect coming through the phone as a result.
"I'm right there with you." Aaron admitted, resisting the urge to squirm in his seat. "I'm seconds away from reinstalling that damn crib."
"So ask. Anyways, I gotta go. Jack will be home soon, and I should get Ellie up so she does sleep tonight."
Aaron chuckled softly, his eyes finding the family photo framed on his desk. "Why does it not surprise me that for nap time, she'll stay in her bed."
"Stubborn. Just like her father."
After saying goodbye to you, Aaron exited his office, heading to where JJ, Penelope and Derek were all congregating. Their eyes rose as he approached.
"What brings you down here?" JJ asked, using her feet to twist her chair back and forth. "We're not dawdling, I swear."
He brushed past her playful - and untrue - comment. "Need a favor."
Brief distress flashed on Derek's face. "If it requires more paperwork, just give it to Reid."
Like you had said, there was no harm in asking. "It has nothing to do with paperwork. Just in need of a babysitter for tonight."
Penelope's hand shot up, eyes brightening. "Me."
"Big Friday night eh?" Derek wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "What's on the agenda, where the two of you headin'?"
"Nowhere." Aaron shrugged nonchalantly, a smidge of embarrassment heating his face. He was hoping he could persuade with minimal details. "It'll only be for a few hours. We just need them out of the house."
"Oh," JJ smirked after a moment, accompanied with a touch of sympathy. Out of all people, she would understand. "I see."
Aaron met her eyes, keeping his face still but with subtle pleading, hoping she'd tune into it. One that read: I'm begging you not to elaborate.
They were adults. It wasn't a topic of taboo. He just wasn't just too partial on openly discussing his sex life with his colleagues. Doesn't matter how long he's known them.
"Need some, mommy and daddy time, don't you?"
Aaron's stern expression continued to linger, but gradually softened in confirmation. He was tired; tired of waiting and being on the brink.
"No wonder you've been so grumpy."
Aaron shot Morgan a look, before stating his case. "Ellie's out of her crib now. She's learned that the world still continues to go on past bedtime."
"She's out of her crib?" Penelope aww'ed, her bottom lip pouting in bittersweetness.
"And comes into our room," Aaron paused, "every night."
For the first few nights, Ellie had stayed put; the excitement and newness of it all enough to keep her in bed. However, it didn't take long for her to realize she could simply, get up.
She'd come into the living room - you'd usher her back into bed. Jack would come out a while later, complaining Ellie had gone into his room and awoken him - Aaron's turn to return her to bed.
Then came the excuses. She needed water (a sippy cup was given to her, and told this meant she had to go to sleep now). She wanted to watch a movie and "cuddle, please?" It took everything in Aaron to decline, especially after she played up the sweetness in her big, brown eyes.
You'd think after all that, she'd exhausted herself, but no. Next came her crawling into bed with the two of you.
That's where the matter currently stood. She didn't want to sleep in her new big girl bed, but rather, the big bed. Right in the middle, snug between the two of you, and keeping your plans on hiatus.
The next night, you had thought you were in the clear. But sure enough, the second Aaron was straddled atop you, his lips trailing your skin and leaving you breathless, did little footsteps make their way down the hall. Aaron would roll off you instead, supporting himself on an elbow, while you laid there defeatedly, anticipating the opening of your bedroom door.
And again the following night, the same occurrence of events. Admittedly it's been a while since the two of you have been intimate, due to a certain toddler and cases taking Aaron out of town.
Derek laughed, "She's a little menace. I love that kid."
Aaron sighed, both his frustration and need only growing more. His voice wavered on the desperate side, "So can one of you? Please. Just a few hours is all I'm asking."
"I'd be happy to relieve you two. For a full night even, Henry and Michael would love to have Jack and Ellie sleepover." JJ offered, and Aaron internally let out a deep sigh of relief. "Will and I have been there, I get it."
"I-"
"And Aunt Penelope can come too, don't worry." JJ interrupted Penelope with a smile, reaching over and giving her hand a gentle tap.
"I'd- We'd appreciate it. Thank you." Aaron's shoulders dropped, and he could already feel the tension leaving his body. A rush of energy swept through him too, anticipating the delightfully, now long, night ahead. He could not wait to get home.
His thoughts were put on hold when he noticed the glint in JJ's eyes.
"And so you can relieve yourself."
Derek cackled while Aaron rolled his eyes, turning away from the group to hide his smile.
"Just let me know what time you want them over."
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner#ellie hotchner <3#aaron hotchner fluff#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x fem!reader#aaron hotch x reader#aaron hotchner imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds drabble#aaron hotchner drabble#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#hotch imagine#criminal minds x fem!reader
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𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 - 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟐 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 (𝐜��𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤)
𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dbf!Nat x fem!reader
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: SMUT, dom!Nat, sub!reader, corruption, virgin!reader, oral, fingering, praise, inexperienced reader, slight manipulative Nat,
𝐀/𝐍: I don’t know about that one 😭
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐭𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫 | 𝐏𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞
Natasha watched you closely, like she always did when she was visiting your father, and each time you got prettier in her eyes. You were 19, 20 at best, and Natasha was a grown woman in her late thrusts lusting after you but she couldn’t help it. Not when you wore those short shorts which barely covered anything. Or when you were reading a book by the pool as Natasha helped your father. How she had wished to just take you there and then not caring about your father being around.
She almost choked when she saw your phone number suddenly pop up on her screen one chilly evening. She had given you her number in case you ever needed her quickly. I smirk tugged on her lips when she heard you say, you needed her help because your father wasn’t at home. The chance she had been waiting on for months now. She speeds the way down to your fathers house, barely keeping her thoughts on the road.
She parked her car in the driveway and you already stood at the door, your lip caught under your lips as if you were nervous. “Caught something on fire?” She joked, approaching you with fast steps. “this is gonna sound really stupid but I- I took off my necklace and put it on the side of my skin and it somehow ended up down the drain” She had to laugh which made you even more embarrassed about you. “Don’t blush… I’ll get it out in a second”
“So where’s your daddy, mhm?” She asked, knowing you couldn't guess her attention, as she opened the screw nut around the trap with a pair of pliers. “Away for work for the weekend” Natasha hummed, moving on to the next nut “So she left you all alone here” It took a few seconds to answer after all you were looking at her flexing biceps which were revealed by the white wife beater she was wearing. “Mhm” you only hummed, too lost in admiring the older woman.
She bumped the sink trap out in the bucket and could immediately spot the golden chain you had lost before. She fished it out with skilled hands. “There you go princess” She handed you the necklace, knowing fully well the nickname made your stomach feel funny. Silence took place as she reinstalled the trap under the skin until you broke it again “I really don't know how to thank you” You muttered your lips still in a pale pink color. She stilled while washing her hands clean from the dirty skin water. This was her chance
“Well I do have an… idea” She wiped the hands on her washed out jeans. “How about a kiss?” She asked, closing the gap between the two of you. “I know how you look at me… are you shy, baby?” You had to nod, your hands shaking as you put them on her chest. “Can I kiss you?” If she was already leaning in your lips only inches away “Yes” Your lips meet, she kissed you with a passion which had you holding your breath the entire time. Her hands found your hair slightly pulling on it to get you to open your mouth. Her tongue forced itself inside your mouth making you let go of a moan you didn’t know you were holding. She bit down on your lip pugging on it.
She was so much more experienced than you and you couldn’t help but melt under her touch. “Mhm your mouth tastes so good” She hummed licking over your neck to get more taste of you. “I bet you are a virgin right baby?” She knew she couldn’t leave any obvious marks on your neck, your father would get suspicious. “Y- Yes” You hiccup, feeling her teeth over your neck.
She had you undressed on the bed spread as Natasha inspected your awfully wet pussy. You were embarrassed by it, trying to cover herself up. “N- Natasha” you whine trying to close your legs but she held them open. “No, no, no baby you keep them open… don’t be so embarrassed you're so pretty” She leaned down to kiss your pubic bone before she dove into your pussy, managing to salvor the most beautiful sound from your throat possible.
“I’m gonna eat you out so good baby” She mumbled into your cunt, but you were so confused by how she made you feel. Never before had you felt that way but you didn’t want her to stop. Her tongue felt so good, so wrong. “Do you like me fucking your virgin cunt baby” She mocked her fingers held your folds open. You nodded desperately, trying to close your legs yet again, she caught them again. “Keep them open stupid slut” She spat, her words didn’t hurt they only made you wetter.
“Feels weird” You mumbled your head in the pillows not sure if you were about to moan or cry from the overwhelming sensation. Natasha ignored you; she was too focused on feasting on you. The fact that she was your first only made it hotter for her, she took your clit in your mouth making you see stars as the first sob broke from your raw throat. She snuck one of her fingers inside and you were already full. “Fuck baby, we need to stretch that pussy out before you can take me” You looked at her confused of the pleasur lost in moans, whimpers and cries. “Natasha that feels so funny” She hushed you curling her finger “Your gonna cum baby, be a good girl cum on my fingers, just let go” She mumbled against your skin as. As you let go you felt the liquid shooting out of you making you want to bury yourself, had you just? “Damn baby your a squirter” She smiled proudly “That’s a good thing baby, that's so hot” she reassured her “Really?” “Mhm, you did so good baby” She kissed your neck, let me clean you up and then we can cuddle okay baby?”
:)
@jolyssereed
#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff smut#black widow x female reader#natasha romanoff x you#black widow x reader#natasha x reader#natasha x you#natasha romanoff
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Get Well Teddy's own trip to the doctor
Teddy belongs to a 3 year old who was very concerned by his run-in with the puppy. Even before her mom wrote to me, the little girl believed Teddy was at the doctor and being well taken care of. She thought Teddy would be quite comfy, because he clearly had been to a doctor before based on his belly band-aid. Here is his diagnosis photo:
And here is what he was supposed to look like:
Clearly, Teddy needed his little head pouch reattached, eye socket repairs with new fur, and two new eyes (they had his original eyes but they were too damaged to reinstall). As time is of the essence particularly when a three year old is involved, we did not schedule Teddy for a spa, just surgery.
So... he came to the hospital and I had near perfect fabric match for his eye sockets. Coloring his new eyes took a little time (they need to dry thoroughly before being installed and as it was rainy here, it took a little longer), but within the week he was ready to fly home. Here he is, just before he flew home to MN:
His person's mom wrote:
Oh my goodness, thank you!!!!! We will have one for pleased little girl.
and when he made it home, the family wrote:
I wanted to thank you for restoring our F’s teddy bear, I could barely get her to bed last night because she couldn’t stop hugging him & talking to him. You did excellent work & it brought a lot of joy! Cheers
#stuffed animal repair#teddy bear repair#teddy bear eyes#get well bear#get well teddy bear#bear repair#teddy bear#stuffed animal#stuffed animals#teddy bears#stuffed bear#stuffed bears#bears
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Please could you do an imagine with Lucy bronze where the reader is also on the England team and gets injured during a game and Lucy is basically just being really cute and fluffy as well as a little protective 🥰
AHHH
I loved this request sm so here you go!
i feel like this could be followed up with a part 2 to expand on the reader and lucy’s relationship so lmk if you want to see that! also please feel free to keep sending in requests god knows i need inspo rn lol
A shoulder to cry on
Lucy Bronze x Reader
fluff, lil bit of angst, injury, graphic injury, pain, hurt/comfort, 3200 words
blurb: when lucy’s girlfriend goes down in a match how does she deal with it and how does lucy look react
I was too busy watching the ball flying towards goal to see the body flying at me. Too busy focusing on the Australian goalkeeper to acknowledge the knees slowly sliding under my own feet. Too busy focusing on getting my team a goal to give us a chance to stop myself from being floored by the Australian whirlwind, Ellie Carpenter. I went head first into the turf, my body flopping down onto the grass with my head dug into the dirt. My ears were ringing and I was a groaning mess. My whole body hurt and I couldn’t even muster the energy to turn over to access the damage that had been inflicted. All I could feel was gut wrenching pain, from my feet all the way to my hip.
When I was finally turned over I was met with the sight of Ellie and Steph Catley, two Australians that I didn’t want to see right now. I was a screaming, shaking, crying mess. Both women were very clearly taken aback by my emotion. The stadium was a ruckus, and as my teary eyes flashed up I saw my goal being replayed on the big screen, a goal. At least that was something, I’d done something to help us claw our way back. We were 100 days off from the World Cup start though, 100 days. Judging by the amount of pain I was in though that was nowhere near enough time.
As a professional athlete there is always the background fear that you are going to get injured. An overwhelming worry constantly in the back of your head that maybe this time it is going to be your last, maybe the next time you step on the field it might be the last time in a while. As you become a professional, as you start playing for your nation you learn to silence that part of your brain, you can’t afford to live in fear that you are going to get hurt. But watching teammates, friends, people you love get hurt, reinstalls that part of your brain, makes you wonder if maybe you are next, maybe next time it’ll be your turn. That fear though, it’s nothing in comparison to actually getting hurt, nothing in comparison to realising maybe this time it actually is your last.
That was all I could think about as the two Australian women tried to talk to me, tried to communicate with me. The first one of my teammates to rush over was Leah, who shoved both Australians away before crouching down beside me.
“Hey y/n, take a deep breath, the medics are about to get here, you don’t need to worry.”
Leah’s words were like a breath of fresh air, a break from the constant ringing in my ears.
“L-ucy, need Lucy.”
Leah nodded at me, smiling down at my face and nodding. Her hand made it’s way down to my face and wiped away the tears that were falling.
“She’s on her way angel, just stay patient for me, she’s making her way over, just take those deep breaths.”
“Hurts, hurts so fucking bad.”
Leah nodded at me, I watched her eyes creep down my body to my legs and that was how I knew it was bad, because not even Leah could avoid looking.
“I know, I know angel, I am so sorry that I can’t do anything about that. Just keep taking those deep breaths for me.”
I couldn’t help but continue to sob as I waited for someone, anyone to give me some kind of relief. All I could feel was pain and it was clear in Leah’s mannerisms that she didn’t really know how to help me, how was she supposed to help me?
“Y/n, listen to me, take a deep breath, I know you are in pain, the medics are getting here as fast as they can so you just need to take some deep breaths.”
It didn’t help that we were positioned on the opposite side of the field that the medics would be on and it was also a problem that if the umpire hadn’t blown her whistle they wouldn’t be allowed on.
“How bad is it?”
The words left my mouth in between sobs and breaths. Leah clearly didn’t know what to say, she clearly didn’t want to worry me any more but Leah wasn’t a good liar and she had a shit poker face.
“Don’t worry about that, keep your eyes on me. It’s just me and you, kiddo.”
Leah had taken me under her wing long ago, she treated me like her little sister.
I watched her eyes flash up in a panic and before I knew it she was jumping off of her feet and rushing off in the direction behind my head. I couldn’t help but turn my head to watch where she was going. I was still a little bit spaced out so it took me a few seconds to spot her out but once I did I found her rushing towards Ellie, who was sitting a few metres behind me. I couldn’t figure out why she was rushing over until I spotted Lucy approaching, running towards her, a look of absolute anger on her face. Leah was trying to get to her before Lucy inevitably got to Ellie. I watched it unfold as Lucy just made it to Ellie before Leah did, yanking her up by under her armpits.
I didn’t get to see much more, my head was pulled back to being flat on the turf by Millie and Sam Kerr, my ex-teammates from Chelsea.
“Hey y/n/n, the medics are just about to get here, it’s going to be alright.”
Millie’s tone of voice was similar to that of Leah’s, calm, patient, the voice of a captain.
“I need Lucy.”
Lucy was my other half. The love of my life, my everything. I wanted her, I wanted her to be there to hold my hand and to tell me that everything was going to be fine, even if it wasn’t.
“I know, Leah’s sorting her out, she’ll be here in a minute.”
Lucy was insanely protective over me, to a concerning degree. In the past year I’d made the decision to move to Barca, to be with her and it had been great but something I’d learnt from playing alongside her regularly was that she was a little bit too protective over the people she loved. A defender did so much as foul me on the pitch and she did everything in her power to seek some sort of revenge whether it was in the form of physically hurting them or doing anything in her power to get to them.
“I need her Mil, please.”
Millie nodded at me and then looked at Sam, I was in fucking shambles.
“I’ll go get her okay, feel better kid.”
Sam patted me gently on the shoulder before leaving just me and Millie. I was still lying on the pitch, fighting back more tears as I looked up into the sky and just prayed for this to all be over, for the pain to subside and for everything to just dissipate.
The medics were the next people to make it over to us, accompanied by Sarina and our trainer. The game had obviously been stopped for me so they seemed to be in a rush to get me off, with my goal we had a shot at winning now.
“Hi Ms y/l/n, how are you feeling?”
“In pain.”
My answer was flat and the medic let out an empty laugh at my reply.
“Okay, on a scale of 1-10 where would you put yourself at?”
“A 6.”
Sarina snorted at my reply, she knew that I had a high threshold for pain, I’d met her originally when I was playing as a rookie for Chelsea, she’d been the Netherlands coach at time and the coach for a professional team in the Netherlands which she’d tried to recruit me for but I’d turned her down. I’d never have guessed a few years later she would be coaching me on a National level.
“That means its a nine.”
I glared at Sarina, she knew me a little bit too well.
“Okay, this is a penthrox whistle, it should administer immediate pain relief, enough that we should be able to get you on the stretcher and off the pitch.”
I looked at Millie, then at Sarina, then at the Medic, immediately shaking my head.
“I’m walking off.”
All of their faces told me that I was missing something.
“I can’t allow you to do that.”
In all of the chaos, all of the emergence, I hadn’t had the opportunity to even look at the source of my pain.
Before I could say anything more Lucy was crouching down beside my head and I couldn’t have been more grateful to see her. Her hand slid into mine and just her face, her smile, it was enough to make me feel like I wasn’t fighting a fucking battle.
“Luce, can you please tell them to let me walk off the pitch, just let me have that.”
I was fighting back tears and I could tell that Lucy was fighting an internal battle. Her eyes flashed down to my legs and then back to my face and just the split second gasp was enough to tell me that it was bad, really bad. Her hand fell to my face and that was how I knew it was not good and that was when I started sobbing again.
“How bad is it? Stop beating around the bush just tell me.”
All of the people above me looked between each other before the medic spoke,
“Your knee is dislocated, you’ve got some deep lacerations and stud marks in your shins and a piece of your tibia is sticking out of one of them. You are bleeding a lot, we need to get you off the field and to hospital, take the green whistle and we’ll get you off the field as soon as possible.”
Those words hurt, a lot, more than the injury itself. I nodded to the medic, I wasn’t walking off the field with that list of injuries, I was surprised I was still conscious with that comprise of injuries.
“Baby, just take the pain meds, you're in enough pain.”
Lucy’s voice, her convincing was probably the only thing that made me nod my head and let them pass me the inhaler. I got straight to inhaling it, and within the first ten or so inhalation I felt the pain relief start to kick in. It was good, it made me feel almost ten times better. Lucy was there the whole time, whispering sweet nothings into my ear as they medic attended to my legs and Sarina wrapped a blanket around my shivering upper half.
It was about five minutes before I was floating on a pain free drug induced cloud. When that happened they started to transfer me to the stretcher, with the help of Sarina, Lucy, Millie, Leah and the two medics. It was a touchy process, they were very clearly trying to keep the movement of my leg limited. The actual movement of getting me onto the stretcher had me screaming, pain relief or not it hurt insanely and I knew at that moment that my World Cup dreams were pretty much over. I cried the whole way to the ambulance. Lucy and my teammates had to desert me once I made it over to the sideline so they could finish off the game, eventually, along the way I passed out from the mixture of drugs and blood loss, something I was grateful for.
When I started to stir I had a headache but I felt warm. It took me a few seconds before I cracked my eyes, it was dark outside, my room was dark. But not so dark that I couldn’t make out everything around me, the lights from the hallway and machines giving me a steady source of light. The first thing that I saw was that a big percentage of the Lionesses were piled into the room, Georgia, Leah and Keira and piled onto a pull out sofa, Rachel, Millie and Mary sharing the spare cot beside me and a few of the other girls scattered in seats across the room. It was cute, looking at all of my teammates who were clearly gassed from the game but still here. Sarina and Lucy were slumped in the seats immediately to my side. Just as I let my eyes float over to Lucy her own blueish eyes tiredly connecting with my own. A tight lipped smile made its way to her mouth as she acknowledged me.
“Hey baby.”
Her voice was hushed, it was clear she was trying her hardest not to awaken any of our teammates. As she blinked away the sleep she slipped her glasses over her face, locking her eyes properly with me once the frames were slipped over her eyes. Her voice was enough to put more tears in my eyes, I was pretty sure I’d cried enough tears for about six people.
She stood up quietly, letting her hand fall to my face, gently rubbing a circle against my cheek. It was enough to have my lip trembling and my eyes darting across the room. Before I knew it I was a pleading staggering mess.
“Why me? Why now?”
Lucy’s facial expression just broke into a frown and I could feel her worrying from a few centimetres away from me. Before she said anything she pressed her lips to my forehead. I sobbed into her, not really worried about waking up any of our companions.
“I know sweetheart, I know, it’s okay, I’m going to be here for you every step of the way.”
My breaths came out in hiccups and the hospital gown I was in clung to my body with the sweat that I was producing from working myself up.
“How bad is it, did we win?”
My words came out in pieces, it sounded like my Spanish, which was very rough and not very consistent.
“No, but don’t worry about that. They relocated your knee, you had to have surgery on your leg but it’s just a metal plate and some stitches for the lacerations from Carpenter’s boot.”
I honestly felt bad for the Australian defender, she’d had it bad enough with the press for the last while, let alone getting someone else’s blood all over their cleats.
“So my world cup dream is over.”
Lucy let the words hang in the air for a few seconds, it solidified the words in the room.
“Hey, not necessarily. The doctor said that the surgery went really well, that the fracture was pretty minor and that he expects a speedy recovery. You could be back running in 4-6 weeks.”
Even Lucy didn’t sound that optimistic, it was clear she was trying her hardest but she was struggling.
“My fitness will be shot, 4-6 weeks off the pitch pre world cup practically guarantees my spot gone, even if I’m running, in what world would Sarina take the chance of putting me on the pitch.”
Lucy’s brow furrowed, it was hard to catch in the dim light but I managed to with my eyes adjusting to the darkness.
“I won’t have anyone putting my girl down, especially not you. You will be fine. I can’t promise you that you will make it back on the pitch, you will make it to Australia, if it’s the right fit. Maybe it won’t be, maybe that’s fate and I know that’s shit to accept, shit to get the short straw and I am so sorry that you are in that position. If I could switch with you I would. I would do anything for you and you know that, I’ll be here for you everyday, I will give up anything to make this easier for you, I can promise you that. I can promise that I’m here to be whatever you need. You need a shoulder to cry on? I’ve got two. You need someone to listen? I’ve got two working ears and great advice if you want it. You need someone to just be here for you? I will sit with you for as long as you need.”
Lucy’s words hit home for me. She had always been willing to do anything for me, she’d walk to the ends of the earth to do anything for me, she’d made that clear from when we’d first met. I’d been apprehensive from the beginning but she’d fought and fought until I’d given into her and when I had I’d fallen head over heels in love with the woman.
I moved myself over in the bed and patted down next to the space I’d left open beside me. Luc seemed apprehensive to begin with, her eyes darting between my leg and my eyes.
“Please, I just want my girlfriend to hug me, can I have that?”
Lucy bit her lip, she was clearly a little bit nervous about the idea but her slumped shoulders and tired eyes were enough to tell me that she was tired and just as needy as I was. Neither of us slept well without the other, on the rare occasion that we were separated we both struggled with the loss of contact.
“I’m not sure y/n/n, I don’t want to hurt your leg.”
She was so cute when she was nervous, her voice a nervous murmur. I put her worry to rest fairly quickly though, the pain meds were running through my veins and I was equally as tired.
“Luce, my bad leg is on the other side, I just need some contact, I need to feel loved and comfortable and this hospital bed is making that hard, so please, just hug your girlfriend.”
Lucy sighed and nodded at me, she couldn’t deny me, ever, I had her wrapped around my little finger.
“Alright, how about I slide behind you and you can rest against me?”
It took a little bit of push and shove and some wincing and pain on my side but eventually we got Lucy situated behind me, up against the pillows. I was resting comfortably against her chest and stomach, my head resting in her neck. It was everything I’d needed to make me feel a little bit better and once we’d both gotten settled I smiled up at her gratefully. She pressed her lips to my forehead, I swore that I could feel the compassion behind it but maybe that was the morphine speaking.
“I love you.”
She’d smiled down in that goofy way that she did when I gave her a compliment. Lucy was a goofball, it was one of the things that I loved about her. She was always laughing and making people around her laugh, she was just full of good energy and it made me a better person.
“I love you too, my love, always, get some rest. It’s all going to be okay.”
#woso#lionesses#leah williamson#marry me rn#woso community#lucy bronze#lucy bronze x reader#millie bright#sarina wiegman#lionesses x reader#injury#i love some hurt/comfort#little bit sad#we love a supportive girlfriend
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Catch Me If You Can 2/3
Mob!Bucky x single mom police officer
I am so happy you all loved these two so here is more from this AU. I had the story half in mind but wasn’t sure if people would feel it, once again, LMK if you want more!
Warnings: fluffffff, single mom reader, crappy ex, Mob Bucky is a whole ass warning
Part 1
Part 3
-
You woke up to the smell of fresh coffee, sun pouring in the giant room, your body still aching from the night before but the peaceful rest proved to be helpful. You smiled at the steaming cup that sat by your bedside table, picking up the hand drawn card that was placed beside it; giant heart coloured red was in the middle with the words Get Well Soon decorated in bold letters. You grinned, opening the card to read your sons hand writing.
Dear mommy,
Get well soon. Uncle Bucky says he took good care of you and that you’ll arrest him once you’re all better. He bought me a kinder egg. He seems nice. Maybe give him a running head start.
Love and kisses and cuddles,
Jordan
PS: Can we stay a little longer? Peter is still trying to beat me in Mario Kart
On the side of the card were a bunch of other messages, each signed by Bucky’s men. You shook your head at the signatures, your son having asked every one of Bucky’s men to sign the card, well wishes from them all scattered across the paper. A knock at the door broke you away from the card as Bucky peeked in, happy to see you were awake.
“Where did he get art supplies” You snorted, while Bucky walked in, carrying a tray of eggs and toast. You whispered a quiet thank you as he set it down for you, taking a seat by the edge of the bed.
“Had Steve pick some up” Bucky couldn't help but chuckle, remembering the way your son had asked him to sign the card before proceeding to go around the house with a glittery pen.
“He loves to draw” you hummed, tracing over the bright, colourful letters on the smooth paper, the materials clearly from a higher quality art store. As nice as everything was at the moment, tension lingered in the air; the question of how you ended up in this position in the first place still left unanswered.
“What happened” Bucky spoke softly while you turned away not meeting his gaze. Your jaw clenched as your hand skimmed over the bandage that covered your gash, a dull ache still radiating through your side.
“It was-nothing” You lied poorly, unsure of to explain the situation to Bucky of all people, “Just some people trying to scare me”
He didn’t believe it for a second.
“This was personal doll” Bucky tilted your chin to meet his eyes, knowing damn well even some of the more unruly gang members in the area wouldn’t dare attack a police officer in their home, especially when they had a child. “Who hurt you”
“It doesn’t matter” You shook your head feeling helpless, knowing the problem wasn’t something you’d ever be able to easily get rid of. Bucky chewed his lip, deciding not to press the matter further but he couldn’t help the curiosity that still picked his brain.
“Jordan came to me...didn’t call 911″ He cocked his head, wondering why your son would chose to come to his club over easily calling 911 to help you, something you would have surely taught him. (Especially after he had kidnapped him...)
“He goes to people he can trust” You stated, nibbling on the toast, groaning at the grin that spread across Bucky’s face, “Don’t get it twisted, that doesn't mean I trust you”
“Of course, officer”
God, he was such a little shit. You hated the way his charming laugh made your insides giddy along with the way he was taking care of both you and your son. As if he could read your thoughts on que, he spoke before you could mentioning leaving. “Stay a little longer”
“Bucky-”
He shook his head, not letting you speak further, urging you to finish breakfast instead.
“Your home was compromised, the locks were broken off. Let Sam and Steve clear some stuff up a bit and reinstall some new locks. They’re on it right now”
You wanted to protest but you also knew there was no arguing with him, if all past encounters with his illegal antics proved anything. When he set his mind to something, he did it. This was one of the few times you were secretly happy he was so hard headed.
“Alright” You smiled softly, cocking your brow at the smirk that danced on his lips immediately after.
“Can’t promise I won’t give myself a spare, doll” Bucky winked leaving you to finish eating and rest up while he quietly made his way out to make sure your house was taken care of.
As promised, Sam and Steve had gone above and beyond, cleaning and patching up all the damages, including replacing the broken photo frames that were smashed to bits. The locks they added were far stronger than the ones you had from the Home Depot, clearly purchased from somewhere you had no idea existed. Bucky had dropped you home along with a very excited Jordan who felt like he had Christmas twice this year, hauling bags of art supplies behind him.
“Y’know this changes nothing” You reminded him, your cheeks warming up at the way he bit his lip, giving you a cocky smirk.
Little shit.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way, doll”
*****
As expected, gang activity was back up and you were back to your job of investigating the latest nonsense Bucky was up to. You seemed to still be the only one concerned about stopping what he was doing while the rest of the department pretended not to see a damn thing. Most of the day would alternate between you trying to do your job and being told to lay off the mob boss.
The worst was the little traitor that lived under your own roof.
“Uncle Bucky is kinda like Batman” Jordan stated while you gave him a pointed look, continuing to make him breakfast which now consisted of scrambled eggs and toast, just like how uncle Bucky makes them.
“Explain” You knew you were going to regret asking as soon as it came out of your mouth.
“Well, he’s rich. Very rich. He likes to help people. He wears a suit. He stops the bad guys”
“He is a bad guy Jordan” You had your hands on your hip, challenging Bucky’s latest swimfan.
“But the badder guys! That has to count for something” He peeked at you with hopeful eyes before turning back to his toast, nervously poking at it. “Can I play with Peter?”
“Peter” You frowned, not remembering any of Jordan’s friends with that name. “Peter who?”
“Paarkerr” He drawled out, blinking up at you while you connected the pieces together, your eyes growing wide.
“Absolutely not”
“But moooom” Jordan gave you his best puppy pout, “None of the kids in my class are as good, you told me I should challenge myself”
“That doesn’t mean you find competition in the house of the Mafia, Jordan!” You scoffed while he slumped his shoulders, hopping off his chair to get ready for school. You knew he was guilting you, acting as if you had refused to feed him for the rest of his life, staring out the car window like a sad puppy on his way to the pound. You kissed him goodbye, promising him you’d “think about it” before driving over to the prescient, most of the day filled with paperwork, a part of your actually thinking about letting Jordan play video games with Peter before you shook some sense back into your head.
Just because he saved you once didn’t mean you had to let your son play with his junior henchmen.
*****
You sipped on some tea as evening rolled around after helping Jordan with homework, the rest of his night spent using the newest fancy art supplies he’d gotten. You no longer paid attention to the show on TV, frowning at the unmarked truck that had circled the block twice. Then three times. You carefully reached for a gun tucked under the sofa and stood by the side of the window just out of sight. The SUV came to a stop near your driveway; uncalled for butterflies erupting in your tummy when you realized who it was.
Bucky stepped out of the truck while you opened the door, your son much quicker than you, slipping past your arm and darting straight outside.
“Uncle Bucky!!” Jordan grinned, bounding towards the all black SUV, ignoring your calls for him to slow down, maybe not run with so much passion and admiration for a man who had once kidnapped him and taken care of you and nursed you back to health and changed your locks and why the hell were you feeling hot and fuzzy right now.
“Hey kid” Bucky smiled while you huffed, making your way over, poorly masking the smile that tugged at your lips.
“Did you get lost Barnes, or were you here to kidnap me today instead?” You teased while Jordan slipped back into the truck to talk to his second favorite “Uncle” Steve.
“You wound me doll, y’know, I’m not just a heartless gang leader” his facial expression almost the exact same as what Jordan had given you earlier. “Just came to see how you were” He said sincerely, not realizing his heart rate had calmed as soon as he saw you and your little one safe in your home.
“We’re safe” You nodded, your heart fluttering at the way his gaze softened, scanning the area just to be sure there wasn’t anyone he didn’t recognize lingering near by.
“Good to know” Bucky murmured, giving you a once over before getting back in the truck and leaving for the night. He didn’t like that he was still in the dark over what your story was. He didn’t like not knowing who hurt you; they were still out there and it made him sick. You didn’t deserve that. Jordan didn’t deserve that. You didn’t need to know that he had done some digging, learning a bit more about you but not enough to get answers.
You also didn’t need to know that his unannounced visits were more frequent that you realized, sometimes a car circling around Jordan’s school, sometimes a quick roll around the block at midnight.
Steve and Sam were only able to contain themselves for so long, making their own betting pool over how this would all end.
They hoped it’d end with them getting a nephew.
Maybe one day.
*****
6 missed calls
4 voicemails
100+ text messages
Your jaw clenched watching your phone ring again, the No Caller ID screen shining bright as you ignored the call. Of course you still had the other issue to deal with. One that you had kept hidden ever since you moved to the city. One that had followed and found you over and over again, even after you managed to change your number and address.
The nightmare never stopped.
“You gonna get that? Someone’s been trynna to reach you all day” Your boss piqued as he walked by, curiously eyeing your phone that had been ringing the entire morning and afternoon, eventually muffled when you stuffed it in your bag.
“It’s fine” You gave him a tight lipped smile, waiting for him to pass by before calling your son’s school and making sure he was still there, informing them to not let anyone else pick him up but you.
As you drove home with him, you were on edge, your nerves ready to snap, heart rate spiking erratically. Jordan chatted your ear off about how he was still the reigning champion of his video game but you couldn’t help but feel a sense of uneasiness, the same feeling you got the day Bucky rescued you. The same day you were attacked.
You just knew.
The front door was still locked as you inserted the key.
The lights were all still turned off.
But you knew.
The hairs on your neck stood up as soon as you entered your home, the smell of alcohol enough for you to know who was already inside.
“Babycheeekss”
Your stomach flipped, the blood in your veins turning into ice as he stepped out from the shadows, his feet crunching over the glass from the window he had broken into.
Not again.
“Baby, go upstairs” you whispered to your son, who was reluctant to leave your side, refusing to look at the man that was supposedly his father. You nudged him, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze urging him to leave; the last thing you needed was for him to be further traumatized. Jordan shakily made his way up, stopping at the top of the stairs so he’d still be able to see you, reaching for the baseball bat he had kept by his room.
Uncle Bucky would be proud of me, he thought, his small hands tightening around the handle, fiercely protective over his mama.
“Why are you here” You hissed, flashbacks clouding your mind over the way he had broken into your house and didn’t take no for an answer.
He’d rather have you dead than live peacefully single.
“To see my son” Your ex shrugged, taking another casual step towards you while you backed up, slowly reaching for your gun. “I mean, he is my son, isn’t he? Unless you think there’s reason to believe he isn’t” Andrew sneered, while you scoffed, your hands trembling, hoping Jordan was safe in his room before you drew your weapon. The last thing you needed was for him to get hurt while protecting the both of you.
Before you could do anything, the front door swung open with a bang, your ex’s eyes growing wide, frozen in place, focused on the man that was now behind you.
You turned around, gasping at the soft baby blue eyes that were peering down at you, his pink lips this time with a deep frown instead of his typical boyish smirk. Bucky gently tugged your arm, pulling you behind him, keeping you far away from your ex who was staring daggers at the both of you.
“What the fu-”
“Stay away from her” Bucky growled while you ex scoffed, taking a step forward instead.
“And who the hell are you? Her latest fuck? A new boytoy to play with?” Your ex challenged, unable to hide the quiver in his voice. If not for the seriousness of the situation, Bucky would have laughed. It was a valid question. Who was he to you anyway?
“Mommy?” Jordan padded down the stairs, instantly rushing to your side, his worries washing away when he saw who had come to the rescue.
“Stay upstairs Jordan” You tried to urge him back upstairs but he stayed rooted in place, not willing to leave if there was someone trying to hurt you.
“Let me see my son-” Andrew tired to take a step forward but Bucky wasn't having any of it, keeping the both of you behind him, and pushing your ex away.
“Don’t” Bucky growled, keeping his itching hands away from his gun. It would have taken him all but 1 second to put a bullet between Andrews eyebrows and have the body disposed of within the half hour but he didn’t want to either of you to have to witness that.
“Hey bud” Your ex tried to reach out for Jordan again, hoping he’d get some leverage if he got him in his hands. “C’mon, you missed me, didn’t ya?”
Jordan trembled, his small hand clutching onto the back of Bucky’s suit jacket, the other still holding his bat. He shook his head, tightening his grip when he saw the anger flash across his fathers eyes. Bucky reached behind, taking your hand in his, holding it firmly in his grip hoping to ground you.
“Leave” Bucky stared at your ex, nodding towards the door, giving him a final warning to leave with his life. Andrew glared at him before narrowing his eyes at you and Jordan while he silently left, the look he gave you telling you this wouldn’t be the last time he’d see you. Or so he thought.
As soon as he was out the door, Bucky immediately turned to you, his hand cupping your face, scanning you up and down for any signs of injury, his features softening when he didn’t see anything.
“You’re coming with me” Bucky stated, taking your hand in his again, ignoring the way his heart was still beating out of his chest. You wanted to argue against it but you didn’t feel safe in your own home and a hotel didn’t exactly seem like a safer option.
Perhaps sleeping with the enemy wasn’t so bad...
At least sleeping at his house.
You cocked an eyebrow, glancing at the door that was perfectly in tact, no signs of a forced entry from when Bucky entered the house. How the hell did he get in.
“How did you-”
“Told you I’d make myself a spare” Bucky grinned, twirling a small gold key between his fingers, itching to wrap his arms around you. He squeezed his hand to his side instead, letting you go up to pack some things to take to his place while he waited for you outside.
-
You had agreed to stay at his place until the window as fixed and a security system was installed throughout your house.
Then you agreed to stay for an additional week just to be safe.
Then that turned into two weeks to make sure Jordan was extra safe.
Then that turned into three weeks while Bucky took care of business. He didn’t tell you what that meant but he promised you’d never have to worry about Andrew again.
The nature of your relationship was confusing.
You spent time with Bucky, sometimes with Jordan and sometimes all by yourself while both boys ditched you to do something that would probably leave you reeling. There had even been a number of times where Bucky himself had gone to pick up Jordan from school, your little one more than happy to ride in the huge dark truck, any chance he got.
You had no idea what to do with yourself, screaming internally on a daily basis, wondering why someone who did 101 illegal things a day made you feel giddy, feel safe, feel butterflies, all while quietly tossing a body off into the lake.
It didn’t matter what you felt.
It didn’t matter than his charming smile made you melt.
It didn’t matter than he took care of you in every way possible, not once looking at you in a way that was disrespectful.
Nothing mattered.
You were both still too different for anything to happen.
Sweet as Bucky was, nothing would happen between the both of you.
That's just how things had to be.
You reminded yourself that every night, whenever Jordan rambled on for hours over how much fun he had with uncle Bucky, how he taught him self defense, bought him more art supplies, beat Peter at video games again, got used as a human volley ball between uncle Steve and Sam.
That's just how things had to be.
Then why were you still in his house.
-
“I don’t think I like the name Uncle Bucky anymore”
“You don’t, huh?” Bucky smirked at his little side kick, your son no longer paying attention to his homework which he now often did in Bucky’s office. He took a sip from his apple house, swirling the ice around the glass cup just as Bucky did with his whiskey, taking another long drag before setting it down.
“We look alike” Jordan stated, looking up at the mob boss while they both sat on the office couch, neither of them focused on their work anymore. Jordan reached over for the kinder egg that sat on the table, a treat Bucky had bought him for doing well on his math test.
“We do” Bucky nodded, while Jordan smiled in satisfaction, munching on the chocolate, scooting over a little closer to Bucky.
“Some people say you look like my dad” He spoke a little more quietly this time, inching closer until he was pressed against Bucky’s side.
“Uh-huh” Bucky watched Jordan curiously while he assembled the toy, chewing on his bottom lip.
“Sooo...”
“Soo?” Bucky waited for him to continue while Jordan fidgeted with his kinder egg toy, his eyes now trained on his lap, worried about what the answer would be.
“Can I call you dad instead?” His voice was small, wavering slightly, unsure how Bucky would react. He held his breath, not daring to look anywhere else, hoping his request wouldn’t upset the mob boss. He didn’t need to know that he’d already been calling Bucky dad in his head for a while.
What would da-uncle Bucky say?
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What If - Part One
Summary: Tensions between the clans are high so to ease the reclaiming of Mandalore, an old tradition is reintroduced.
Pairing: alpha!Paz Vizsla x omega!fem!Reader
Wordcount: 6.0k | Rating: E (18+ only!)
Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, explicit sexual content, size kink (Paz is big-big), finger sucking, oral fixation maybe, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk and loving verbal humiliation, exhibitionism (lite)
Here we are! Last year, April did not go so well for our favourite Big Blue so I decided the only way I can get over it is by rewriting That Episode in a way that I find acceptable. Naturally, that also meant adding A/B/O dynamics.
Joke aside: I love love love my Calmer AU and I love love love it even more if we can pair it with a fix it AU so this is what that is. However, I won’t be super stringent with adhering to the rest of the canon either. Both because I am here for the vibes only atm and also because I still haven’t seen the S3 finale so I have no idea how it actually ends. lol
Anyway, I would be very happy to hear what you think in a comment or a reblog, those really do give me life.
masterlist | crossposted on AO3
“This is a joke, right? This has to be a joke.”
You watched as Axe Woves, captain of the privateers and the most insufferable alpha you had ever met, looked at Bo-Katan as if she had lost her mind. And to be fair you could not really blame him. When her suggestion had first been made public knowledge, everyone had thought she had lost her mind.
Well, almost everyone.
“You want to reinstall an ancient rule just because these primitives cannot control their emotions?”
“It is not only about them controlling their emotions,” Bo-Katan pointedly interjected, her arms crossed in front of her chest. You had heard a lot about her but the actual experience of seeing her and hearing her speak was … underwhelming. “It is about bringing the tribes closer together.”
The alpha scoffed, clearly unimpressed and you scrunched your nose, not really liking the scent he emitted. As an omega, you were used to having strong-scented alphas all around you but there was a difference between a casual run-in and standing in a small room with the alpha leaders of opposing tribes. The difference being that under any other circumstances, you would have been able to escape the stench of this arrogant alpha.
Now, though, you were stuck between what felt like a rock and a hard place.
“It might be ancient for you but it is not for us,” The Armourer said calmly.
Your eyes flitted to the alpha leader of the clan that you had only gotten to know as a “cult”. She had a very demanding presence, one that almost rivalled that of Briggs. Which you knew he noticed by the way he shifted his weight from one leg to the other.
“What do you think?” Sluice asked you. Briggs was standing next to her, looking as stoic as ever and you knew it had to be serious when they rested their decisions on you. Not that they never asked you for your opinion, you were a respected member of the council, after all, but it was your first term as the voted omega representative and you had relied on their guidance a lot when it came to decision-making – especially on this scale. But now it seemed they were relying on yours.
You looked back at your fellow council member and friend, Chants, who gave you a slight nod.
“I think I would do anything to get us peace,” you said, finally, highly aware that next to your friend you were the only omega in the room and the person who everybody’s eyes rested on, “And the ancient rules lasted for centuries for a reason. They worked then and I cannot think of anything why they would not work now.”
“Maybe because they will use any chance they get to exploit the innocent omegas of other clans.”
You frowned, not liking any of Axe’s implications. Were omegas of Djarin’s tribe not innocent? Did he think you were incapable of defending yourself?
You were about to think of a retort when another alpha across the room stood up from his seat. He was clearly from Djarin’s clan as he was wearing a helmet and smelled so offended, you had to fight the urge not to snap at Woves himself. What startled you most, however, was how big that man was. You had thought him to be standing already with how tall he was and he was even taller when he actually stood up, his figure demanding a lot of space and everybody’s attention.
“I am not sure how you were raised but where I come from we respect our omegas,” he thundered, his voice deep and cracking through the beskar barrier, “And especially our calmers.”
Axe Woves looked as if he was biting his tongue not to say anything and you had to suppress your smile when you saw the strict look on Bo-Katan’s face. She was obviously trying her best to keep everyone in line.
“It is decided, then,” The Armourer announced, “We will collect the names of those willing to be calmers and distribute them amongst our tribes. This is the way.”
*
It did not come as a surprise that the desire to be a calmer in these times was … almost non-existent. You knew Sluice and Briggs did their best to present a united front but it was hard to convince omegas across all clans of something by having their highest-ranking alphas making decisions for them.
Still, given the circumstances, you were glad to find that a decent number of omegas seemed to be at least willing to hear you out.
You and Chants had been the first ones to volunteer, figuring that if you, as omega representatives of the council, chose to volunteer, it might assure other omegas who were still on the fence. And it had a surprisingly positive effect because, from all clans, omegas signed up. And the more omegas signed up, the more they seemed to encourage other omegas to sign up as well.
Soon, the sun had settled over Nevarro and a few fires had been made by which the Mandalorians of all clans huddled together. Crates and ship pieces had been pulled to create some circle-like shapes and make-shift benches and once the foundlings had all been sent to bed, the announcement began.
One after the other, names were drawn, pairing an omega with an alpha. You watched friends, acquaintances and strangers make their way to the centre when their names were called, before walking away together.
When you heard your name called, it was like you were in the clouds. Far away from everything and everyone. Maybe you could still say no, maybe you could just go and disappear forever. What if you were paired with someone horrid? Would people be angry if you decided to leave even though you were the first to volunteer? What if you weren’t good at the whole claiming thing at all and your failure resulted in a war that was to last centuries?
“ … Paz Vizsla.”
The giant of a man stood up and your heart stopped. That was the man from the council meeting, the one who had spoken against Woves. The one whose head had almost touched the ceiling and who was wearing a blaster on his thigh even now. There was nothing on his body that looked as if it could not be used as a weapon. If this was how he was in his home, how hostile was he in places he did not know?
Your heart raced in your chest as you walked towards him, uncomfortably aware of everyone looking at you. You felt sick to your stomach and your breathing had to be abnormally loud. What if everyone could hear how nervous you were? How panicked? What if that was reason enough for other volunteers to change their mind and then it was all for nothing?
When your hands touched, his proximity pulled you back down to Nevarro.
You followed him wordlessly to the back of the group, passing a few couples that already seemed to get acquainted. You tried not to look at them, the same way you tried not to look at him for fear that his giant stature would terrify you into leaving.
Paz Vizsla was a warrior through and through and it showed in the way he was sitting too. He took up almost all the space on the little bench and even when he was sitting down and you were standing up, he seemed so much bigger than you.
“Hello,” he said and you were taken aback by how gentle he sounded. He did not look gentle. He looked dangerous. He looked like he could snap you in half. He –
“Hello,” you replied shyly.
He tilted his head and you reminded yourself to look into his visor and not take in his very large presence. Was he as large underneath the plates of armour? What was that colour all about? Did it mean anything?
His hand tugged on yours and it took you a moment to realize he wanted you sit to on his lap.
Careful not to come too close, you perched yourself on his knees even though it resulted in his knee pads digging into your thighs uncomfortably. Ironic, considering you were about to get to know this man in the most intimate ways.
“I don’t bite, you know?” he sounded surprisingly amused, his legs spreading under yours and you squeaked, throwing your arms around his neck to keep your balance.
“I suppose the helmet would make that very hard,” you replied, not thinking about how you wanted to keep this alpha happy and not risk antagonizing him.
But to your surprise, the alpha warrior roared with laughter, sounding nothing like the stern and dangerous man you had imagined. You smiled a little, loosening your grip around his shoulder and allowing yourself to truly rest your weight on him.
“What is your name?” he asked, his big hand running over your back before coming to rest on your lower back. The heat of his touch did not feel unpleasant and you took a deep breath.
“What is it to you?” you asked right back, keeping your tone even as you kept your eyes on the front of the fire where the announcements continued to pair up calmers and alphas.
“Do you not think I should know the name of the omega I am about to make very happy?”
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his flat joke but the corners of your mouth tugged up nonetheless. “Aren’t you going to call me omega all the time anyway?”
“Yes, but as an endearment,” he stated, his helmet resting next to your cheek, “Not because I won't know your name.”
That was weirdly touching.
You told him your name, then, and your body shivered as he repeated it in a deep voice.
“I gather you have more experience in this than I do,” you shifted, “What, uh, how … how do we proceed?”
“However we want to,” he replied as if that was not easier said than done, “There are a few things I need to know first, though. Are you here out of your own free will?”
“Of course, I am,” you protested, “I was the one to agree to this whole scheme if you recall, why would I not be here of my own free will?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you,” his voice was calm and his second hand brushed over your arm up to your neck where you could feel your pulse race, “And because you smelled … hesitant.”
“You can smell me with that helmet on?”
“You would be surprised at the things I can do with that helmet on.”
You raised your eyebrows, feeling your cheeks heat up at the innuendo. This man was nothing like you had imagined at all. He seemed ... funny, oddly enough. And kind in a way you had not expected. And gentle, too, with the way his hold on your body was strong and supportive but certainly loose enough that you could leave any time you wanted to.
“Are you wet?”
“Uh, what?”
His voice dropped an octave and his gloved hand brushed over your neck, barely brushing your scent gland. “Are you wet, omega?” he repeated his question, “Does your body react to my scent? To my voice? To my touch? Do you like the idea of being close to me?”
“Maybe a little bit,” you admitted, shifting your legs and trying to ignore the low pulsing in your core. How could a voice be so enticing in a man?
“Good,” he grunted, “Open your mouth.”
You did, opening your mouth for him and feeling your heart skip three beats at once. He pulled off his gloves, revealing thick, weathered hands and fingers. There were inked designs on them, tattoos whose meanings you did not know but you wanted to. You wanted to ask him and listen to his stories while putting your nose on his neck, just close enough to the edge of his helmet so you could smell him. And scent him, maybe, if he would let you.
Shocked at your own daydreams, you tried to focus instead on what you could see and not the images your brain came up with. Every one of his fingers had at least one tattooed knuckle but his ring and middle finger had the most designs on them, some of the lines already a little washed out from age. Much like the rest of his body, his hands and fingers were big and thick. And despite your best intentions, your mind instantly wandered to what it would feel like to have them on your body.
“Wider,” he instructed you, his hand flexing, and you glanced around, wanting to make sure that no one else was watching. But you were his calmer and you wanted to calm him. Even if it meant other people saw you in a more vulnerable position than you would prefer.
Not to mention that the way he rumbled out instructions as if you were the best thing in the whole wide galaxy made the wetness between your thighs spread.
Something in his voice made you want to please him and so you pushed out your tongue, just the tiniest bit but it seemed to be enough. “Stars,” he hummed, thick fingers settling on your tongue and pushing down, “I think we are going to have a lot of fun, aren’t we, omega?”
It was instinct to suck on his fingers, coating them in your saliva and you closed your eyes, trying to think one thought at a time. Like how big they were in your mouth and how heavy. How he did not move them at all, before gently pushing down on your tongue. You followed his silent order and opened your mouth again, your eyes fluttering open when you heard the rumble in his chest.
You could not see his eyes through the visor but you could feel his gaze on you, heavy and intense. He did not say anything when he pulled his two fingers away. Your eyes followed the movement, spotting the wet trail that connected them to your bottom lip, still, and found yourself wishing for them back in your mouth.
What had this man done to you?
He put three fingers together, then. His ring, middle and pointer fingers landed on your tongue before pushing inside, deeper than before. You took a deep breath through your nose, feeling the touch tickle at the back of your throat and you swallowed around the digits, trying not to gag.
The alpha hummed, his legs moving and thus jostling you in his lap. He pulled his fingers away again and you whined, your mouth following him as if you could pull his fingers back by the power of sheer will alone.
Heat collected in your cheeks and between your thighs at the realization that you liked this. You liked him in charge.
You looked around nervously, trying to gauge if anyone had seen this moment of weakness. And it seemed that no one had, except for the alpha that had put you in this position in the first place. “No one is watching us,” he assured you, pushing his fingers back in your mouth, “No one is looking at you, omega. Wanna know how I know?”
Relaxing your throat so he could get his fingers deeper, seemed to be answer enough.
He tilted his head, a pleased hum leaving him when you swirled your tongue around his fingers. “Because everybody knows I don’t share my omega, and that includes seeing how beautiful you look drooling on my fingers like it is my cock.”
His fingers were pulled from your mouth again, only to be pushed back in and you realised what he was doing. “Open your mouth for me again, sweetheart,” he said, “Let me see how good you take my fingers.” Like they are my cock.
It remained unsaid but the thought that he was … fucking your throat with his fingers made you wetter than you would have admitted. But you opened your mouth for him nonetheless, letting him see how his fingers glided over your tongue, playing with it before pulling out, dragging over your bottom lip and leaving a drooly mess behind.
“Thank the stars it was you,” he whispered, running his wet fingers over your lips, “I hoped it would be you.”
His words caused something in you to stir. Confusion, mostly, but also a feeling of flattery that he seemed to have noticed you before. That it wasn’t just duty for him. That, maybe, it wasn’t just duty for you. Not when he caused your blood to stir like that with just his fingers in your mouth.
“Can you open your dress for me and still be comfortable, omega?” he asked, his voice almost drowned out by the crackling of the fire, “I want to claim you once out in the open. So everyone can see what a good calmer you are.”
“What if I’m not though?” you heard yourself ask. Your voice sounded way too small to your liking, not at all teasing and flirting like you wanted to but insecure and a little hoarse from where he had been using your throat.
“I know you are,” the alpha replied steadily, his thumb pressing into your bottom lip, “I know it from the way you try to be so good to me. Know it from the way you don’t recoil from me. Do you have any idea how long it has been since I smelled someone as beautiful as you?”
Beautiful, his voice echoed in your head and you looked at him with wide eyes, the desire to touch him growing stronger.
“To be honest,” he murmured, his fingers running over your cleavage, playing with the top button of your dress, “I don’t think I ever smelled an omega that I wanted to claim as much as you.”
“Then you haven’t met many omegas,” you replied, trying to ignore your trembling hands as you undid your dress. The fabric fell open on your middle and you could see the way his chest moved a little heavier.
“Stand up,” he instructed you, meddling with a little pouch on his thigh. Your eyes fell to the where his legs had shuffled apart even more. He was not wearing a codpiece, you noticed, and the bulge in his pants was huge. Or, when it came to him, proportional.
At the thought of him putting that … thing inside you, you squeezed your thighs together. You had never been with an alpha before, and certainly not an aloha of that kind of size. Not even your toys to help you through your heats were this big.
“What is that?” you asked, watching as he pulled a little tube out of his pocket.
“Lube,” he explained, holding the little bottle up, “I am big and I don’t want to hurt you.”
Your entire body tingled with desire and you shuffled your legs again. The cool evening breeze reminded you of your state of undress and you glanced around nervously.
“No one is watching,” he reminded you. “Now,” he put the bottle down next to him, petting his thighs, “Up you go.”
Your dress fell open and just like that, you were completely bare to him. It did not make you as nervous as you had thought it would. Knowing this strange man was looking at you, touching you, did not fill you with a sense of dread. Because he did not feel like a stranger. He felt … familiar.
The way Paz Vizsla was touching you only made your entire body thrum with pleasure, like he knew exactly just where you were most sensitive.
His bare fingers brushed over your chin, down your neck, between your breasts down your middle until they just barely grazed your folds. You rocked your hips, just the slightest bit, to get him closer but the alpha pulled his fingers away.
Then he repeated the motion, touching you but avoiding the places where you wanted – needed – him most.
Your mouth fell open, your tongue slipping out in a moment of weakness. But as soon as you noticed what you were doing, you closed it again, hoping he had not seen it. But of course, he had.
The warrior chuckled. “You want my fingers back in your mouth, don’t you?”
You swallowed, your eyes flicking to the tree line behind him in the hopes that he could not see the embarrassment so clearly written on your face.
“This is not the time to be shy,” he reminded you, his fingers tipping your chin up. You knew he was looking at you, could feel the weight of his gaze on you. And you also knew that he knew the answer already. There was no denying it. So, you nodded.
“Good girl,” he praised you, “Open your mouth for me again.”
Pushing out your tongue as he pushed his fingers back in your mouth, you allowed yourself to really enjoy it this time. Your cheeks hollowed as you sucked on them and it did not take long before you wrapped your arms around his neck in an effort to get closer to him. With you straddling him – and wearing barely anything – the cool night air made you feel cold and exposed.
Until his other hand was on your pussy again.
When his fingers brushed over your clit, gathering the wetness between your folds, your entire body tensed. His fingers felt thick and calloused, a stark contrast to what your own fingers felt like and you breathed through the initial stretch of having two of them pushed inside you. Your toes tingled with pleasure as he edged them deeper and deeper, his movements slow and controlled until you felt like you were blinded by pleasure.
He crooked his digits inside you, rubbing over a spot you could only reach on the rare occasion that you took a lot of time for yourself.
Now though, it seemed like it was effortless for him.
“Paz,” you mumbled around his digits, your voice muffled.
“Deep breaths,” he instructed, “Open up for me, sweetheart, let me in that pussy.”
Surprisingly enough, his words got you to relax and you sucked on his fingers again. Focussing on the weight and the feel of them on your tongue like he was not fingering you surrounded by dozens of people. No one is looking at me, you remembered his words and they felt safe. They felt true.
He kept moving his fingers, working you until three thick digits were stretching you further than you had ever been stretched before. Your walls were already fluttering around him and you could feel the wetness seeping down his hand.
“You're ready,” he stated, pulling his fingers from your pussy and your mouth. You were not sure which loss you mourned more.
You looked down between you, observing as he opened his pants, freeing his cock to your eyes. He was big, that was no surprise. But it was a surprise how thick he was. His shaft bobbed between you, the weight of it almost dropping him down.
How is that supposed to fit inside me? you wanted to ask How am I supposed to take this?
His hand wrapped around himself, pumping his shaft a few times and before you knew what you were doing, you reached out, your fingertips brushing over the head of him. He felt hot and soft. Paz groaned, the sound beautiful in your ears, and his hand reached for yours, helping your hand wrap around him.
Your fingers barely met around him and you let him guide your hand up and down his shaft, letting him direct the strength of your grip. “Stars, that feels good,” he murmured, moving so his cock bumped against your folds, running it through them again and again until it met your clit. You jerked at the touch, your pussy clenching.
Deciding to take matters into your own hands – literally – you continued to hold his cock, rubbing your thumb just under his head before grinding on top of him. The touch of him against your wetness was everything you needed as you started to rub yourself against him. Your breath came faster and you could feel how dripping wet and needy you were for him.
And Paz felt it too.
He seemed completely at ease and if it were not for his rock-hard erection between you, you would have wondered if he had been affected by you at all. But when you whimpered once again as his head rubbed over your clit, you could see his hand reaching for the little bottle of lube, squirting a generous amount of fluid on his fingers before reaching between you and spreading it on himself.
“You ready, omega?” he asked you and you could not nod quickly enough.
With a racing heart and a dripping pussy, you lifted yourself up to your knees, the wood of the bench digging into your joints. But you could not care less as your pebbled nipples pressed against the cold beskar of his armour and he leant back, allowing you to rest your weight onto him.
This position gave you almost all the control and you appreciated it. You appreciated it even more when his warm hand slipped under the dress covering your back, landing just above your butt.
“Go on,” he encouraged you, holding his shaft for you, his tip breaching your entrance as you first started lowering yourself into him.
“Oh shit,” you gasped, sinking down on him a little more, “A-alpha, you’re – you're –“
“Big, I know,” he teased you, his fingers digging into your back, “But you can take me, sweet omega, I know you can.”
And you did.
It took minuscule thrusts and encouraging hums paired with his thumb drawing circles into your skin but when you felt his thigh plates under your legs, you were fuller than ever before. Not even the toys you had to keep you company through your heat filled you like this.
And yet here you were, seated on the biggest cock you had ever taken, facing a faceless alpha whose hands had shifted to your hips, his fingers brushing circles into your skin as if he was just as in awe of what was happening as you were.
“There we fucking go,” he praised you, his voice gentle even through the helmet, “Look at you, taking such a big cock almost all the way.”
The glow of the fire was warm against your back. You felt tense and full, your body constantly trying to adjust to his size. With how your legs were spread around him, you felt like you were barely holding on and you did not know how you could possibly take him to the base.
Which was exactly what you said.
But Paz only chuckled, the sound warm and you sighed when one of his hands drifted up to your neck, brushing over your scent gland. Your back bowed in pleasure and you took a deep breath in, tilting your head so your nose could run over his wrist. His scent was spicy and comforting and you breathed in deeply, feeling your thighs relax.
The alpha beneath you made a soothing noise, his thumb brushing over your scent gland again, just enough to have you clenching on his cock.
“Relax, omega,” he whispered, his helmet tilting forward, “Relax for me.”
“Easier said than done,” you murmured, tightening your arms around him, “I’ve – stars, I’ve never felt so full.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” he rumbled and you snorted out a laugh. You could smell how pleased he was with himself for the joke and you leaned forward, burying your head in his neck and in his scent.
“I bet I can make you take it all the way,” he said, his hand on your back pushing you just a little bit closer.
“Feeling cocky, huh?” your joke ended in a hiss as you wiggled your hips, his cock shifting inside you.
“One could say that,” he rumbled, jerking his hips as if to prove his point, “So what do you say? Wanna take the bet?”
“What do I get if I win?”
“You get to come.”
“And if you win?”
“I get to make you come.”
“Seems like a win-win,” you gasped, trying your hardest to lift yourself up. Your legs were straining with the effort and despite how wet you were, he was big inside you and any movement felt like it would end you in the best way.
Paz put his hand between you, his fingertips gently circling your clit. Another hiss left your lips and you could feel your walls clamping around him. Or trying to clamp around him. He was so big it felt like all you could do was simply sit there and take whatever he gave you.
Another shift, You could feel his legs move beneath you and you squeaked in surprise when he spread them further apart, your weight suddenly no longer supported by his legs. You tightened your grip around his neck shifting just that much lower on his shaft that had your walls pulsing.
His big hands gripped the soft flesh of your thighs, helping you stay up. It took you a second to realize that he wanted you to relax like this, that he wanted to help carry your weight like this, and you frowned.
“Trust me,” he murmured as if he could read your mind, “Let me lead, omega, I promise it will feel good.”
Before you could protest, he started to move you, lifting you up until only the tip of him remained in you. Your fingers dug into his until you could feel the blood leaving your knuckles. But Paz did not let you fall. Instead, he slowly sank you down again, just a little bit, before lifting you up again.
You gasped out a breath, his slow and shallow thrusts opening you up for more. Soon, the first few inches did not feel like they could ever be enough and when you wriggled your hips in his grip he let you sink lower until you felt like there was nowhere left to go.
“See?” he whispered, grinding you down on his cock, your clit rubbing against him, “This is how you relax, omega, all you needed was a little help to take my cock all the way.”
“Alpha,” you whimpered, trying to get him to move, “Please – please –“
“You know what I think?” he asked you his voice cool as ever as he moved you on his cock, “I think you don’t even want to win the bet,” he revealed, the coolness of the beskar against your cheek, “I think all you want is to come on my fat cock and get all cock drunk on me.”
“I have,” you gasped, your body opening up for him even more, “I have never been cock drunk.”
“First time for everything,” he teased, his hands gripping the back of your thighs even tighter, “Now rub your pretty clit for me,” he instructed, “Let me work you on my cock and you get to come all over me, hm?”
It was not difficult to get your fingers on your pussy, working yourself into a frenzy that was only helped by the way he lifted you up and down on his cock like it was no work at all. You felt like a toy almost, in his hands, letting him move you this and that way so that his cock hit a spot inside you that made you see stars.
The squelching noises told you how wet you were and they made you even wetter still. It had never been like this for you, giving up the control of your pleasure and yet you did not want it to change. On the contrary, you wanted to revel in it.
You wanted to see how big he was inside you, wanted to see how he split you open, how small you were against him, how his knot would swell against you. The images made you clench around him and the man underneath you let out a grunt, his hips thrusting up against you.
His movement hindered yours and so you decided to relax against him, leaving everything completely up to him except for the fingertips working on yourself.
His thrusts were forceful and your tits bounced with the movement. Your fingers continued to circle your clit and you could feel yourself edging closer and closer to your release.
“Prettiest omega that ever sat on my cock,” he praised you, “I can already tell you were made to calm me. Made to take my cock.”
“Y-Yes,” you nodded eagerly, thinking of how the next days were going to be filled with nothing but taking his cock over and over and over again. Stars, you were lucky.
“Are you gonna be good for me?” he asked, working his, “Are you going to take my cock like a good little calmer? Sit on my knot all day? Take my come when I need you to?”
With your mouth open in a silent moan, you could only nod again. You had never felt like this before, this free and shameless. Like all that mattered was your pleasure and his because you felt like his pleasure would give you more than you had ever imagined.
The images his words caused in you made your walls pulse even more. You could see yourself spending most of your days just like this, full of his cock and breathing in his scent. Or kneeling between his legs, trying to swallow all the he could give you.
It was no surprise that with your fingers on your clit, his fantasies in your ears and his cock in your pussy, you felt your orgasm rapidly approaching. And with the way his fingers tightened on you, he was close too.
“Want me to come inside you or on your face?” he asked, his voice sounding hoarse, “Or I could come on this pretty pussy? Make you play with it?”
“Inside,” you gasped, throwing your head back when his thrusts started to speed up, “Stars, please – please inside me.”
His groan slipped from under his helmet and when he hit a particular spot inside you, your vision went white. You could feel your walls spasm around him as pleasure rippled throughout your entire body. Everything tingled, from your head to your toes, and something shifted, like the world was suddenly … different.
Paz’s hands held you down on him, burying himself as deeply inside you as he could and as you sagged against him, your chest against his beskar chest, you could feel him pulse inside you.
He really was filling you to the brim.
Where before you had hardly been able to focus on what was going on around you, now you were only left with your heartbeat in your ears and the silence between you.
Hone hand swept over your back, up to the back of your neck and you leaned into his touch.
“How was that?” he asked quietly, his fingers once again seeking out that sensitive spot under your ear, “How are you feeling?”
You ran your nose over his scent gland, taking comfort in the smell that was already becoming familiar. The contact made him twitch inside you, again and again, and you swore you felt another spurt of come filling you.
“Tired,” you admitted against the fabric of his undershirt, “Tired and full and great and …” you trailed off, taking in another breath, “Good. I feel good.”
His body shook under yours in a warm chuckle. “I’m glad,” he replied, “Though it sounds like you need a good night’s sleep before the meetings tomorrow.”
“Sleep sounds good,” you mumbled, “Sleep sounds wonderful.”
“Let me get you to your bunk, then, love,” he whispered, gently untangling himself from you. “I will see you in the morning.”
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WAIT WAIT WAIT pleaseeee expand on sam separating his soul himself??? i’ve literally never heard this before (i really wanna agree cause i just can’t work out how cas just did not realize he’d forgotten sam’s soul)
This is just a pet theory I have. I first suggested it here when talking to Shal about Bobby not clocking Sam as soulless. The TL;DR is that Sam has a tendency to create emotional distance to protect himself from grief and other painful emotions. Shal's careful examinations of scripts reveal that it's even in the script direction when Mary dies that "Sam disassociates". In 8.08, Sam is paralleled with Fred, who disassociated to deal with grief (I talk about Sam distancing himself from his emotions in season 8 more largely here). I've been slowly collecting (when I remember) little bits and pieces around this idea that Sam tries to distance himself from his emotions in the tag #i just stopped—named that because of 11.11 when—after being confronted by Lucifer—Sam apologizes for leaving Dean in Purgatory, saying—seeming perplexed by his own actions:
I should've looked for you. When you were in Purgatory, I... I should've turned over every stone. But I didn't. I stopped. And I've never forgiven myself for it.
So this pet theory I have is that in The Cage, to cope with the torture being inflicted on him, Sam simply separated his soul from his body. It was the most extreme possible case of dissociating from his own suffering possible.
6.22 strengthens my belief in this theory because Sam splitting into three pieces is treated as a defense mechanism. It's kind of like an Id/Ego/Superego situation, except that the pieces are soulless Sam, Sam the hunter and family man, and the Sam who remembers hell.
SOULLESS!SAM: Well, your BFF Cas brought the Hell-wall tumbling down and you, pathetic infant that you are, shattered into pieces. (he points at Sam) Piece. (he points at himself) Piece.
SAM: I - I have no idea what you're talking about. SOULLESS!SAM: Why would you? You're jello, pal. Unlike me. SAM: What are you? SOULLESS!SAM: I'm not handicapped. I'm not saddled with a soul. In fact, I used to skipper this meatboat for a while. It was smooth sailing. I was sharp, strong. That is, 'til they crammed your soul back in. Now look at you. Same misty-eyed milksop you always were. That's because souls are weak. They're a liability. Now, nothing personal, but run the numbers. Someone's got to take charge around here, before it's too late.
Sam and soulless Sam have a power struggle inside Sam's head over who gets control. Soulless Sam is really an enforcer, trying to protect Sam from his worst memories. As we see after Sam kills him:
You think I'm bad? Wait 'til you meet the other one.
Then when Sam finds the other part of himself:
SAM: I have to know what you know. What happened in the cage? TORTURED!SAM: Trust me, you don't wanna know it. SAM: You're right. But I still have to. TORTURED!SAM: Sam, you can't imagine. Stay here, go back, find that bartender, go find Jess, but don't do this. I know you. You're not strong enough. SAM: (exhales) We'll just have to see.
Of course, one could argue that Sam's subconscious creates this scenario with soulless Sam and the Sam who remembers hell because Death told them Sam would crumble and Soulless Sam was scared of the fallout of having his soul reinstalled. But idk. I feel like it goes deeper than that, and tortured Sam and soulless Sam's attempts to protect Sam from the truth feed into that to me.
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OK AFTER 100 YEARS OF REINSTALLING THE GAME I HAVE MORE RESEARCH ON SHINRA SCIENCE DEPARTMENT'S SPECIMEN LIVING QUARTERS
first is Ifalna+Aerith's room. I picked the screenshots with the other party members to show that it's a decent sized room. None of them are standing on top of each other, even barret has plenty of room.
it even has a litle space for the toilet and bath [the bath being behind the curtain.] is it the height of luxury?? absolutely not. but it might as well be a deluxe suite when we see what else is around it.
we've got some rooms with treasure chests. cloud to show how tiny these rooms are, especially compared to ifalna+aerith's.
there's too more rooms in the same hallway, each having a bed and a desk. you can see theyre also pretty damn small. the bed rooms and the chest rooms dont have any little nooks or alcove like a toilet room. on the minimap they break down like this:
[i didnt even think to take a pic of the bigger map when you press the touchpad kjgntfg gomenasorry]
of course its a bit hard to tell because of the chibi art style but well. it definitely looks like sephiroth's room is one of the smaller ones. there's what seems to be a desk in the bottom right corner. and from this angle, nothing else. maybe you could argue there's a bed right out of frame, but this framing is likely very deliberate. it shows that sephiroth cant even dream of having things like a bed, or a bigger, more comfortable room. literally all he wants is his mother. someone to cook for him and love him and care about him. he doesnt even have his own private bathroom, and he's so thoroughly conditioned/beaten down by shinra he doesnt even think of wanting one.
#sephiroth#ff7#ever crisis#ALL ABOARD THE PAIN TRAIN#literally the highest achievemene of r+d and this is all he gets...#a celebrity in the media and a weapon in storage in shinra#man#long post
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