#well... he IS but like. super loser white dad

[spacepatrolhana]

okay ive been convinced with this shane

[the-acid-pear]

Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.

[princess-glassred]

This is probably one of the weirder IT ideas i've ever pitched but here:

Imagine all the losers are having a sleep over and they start talking about how much of a dick Henry is and how it'd be nice if they could get some kind of payback for all his misdeeds. So then everyone starts having these very elaborate fantasies of over the top revenge that fits their personalities/personal experience with him. They're all very silly and some are even quite cruel, but they're all in good fun and genuine healthy outlets for kids who have been bullied by him all year round.

Bill's is quite simple, he pulls up on Silver when Henry is in desperate need for a ride home and Bill, the kindly dude he is, offers his bully a ride. He also very gently tells Henry rider safety is top priority, so he hands him a helmet that is unfortunately very very girly (it's purple with sparkley flowers on it~). Henry gets on expecting a fairly gentle ride, but Bill is nuts and silver just happens to be the best damn bike in the world, so they proceed to have a ride of comically dangerous proportions. It's like they're in irl happy wheels, Bill is riding over spike pits, leaping through the air, rolling upside down, all while Henry screams like a little bitch and cries for his daddy.

Richie's is pretty great, his idea happens to take place at the dentist office where his father works. Henry's in here for his first check up in I don't know how long, but Richie comes in to inform him that Mr. Tozier just so happens to be out, BUUUUT he's seen his dad work on other peoples teeth before, so he's sure he can do an okay enough job. Richie turns on this little stereo his dad keeps in his office and starts playing weird al's "like a surgeon". He then proceeds to run around the room like Patrick bateman before doing an invasive and somewhat humiliating check up on his mouth. He brutally insults his teeth and informs him he will need braces and head gear, and not just any head gear either but "The dorkiest, biggest, stupidest, ugliest head gear ever made by human hands" and he HAS to wear it 24/7. But that's not all! Richie also informs him that he's very multitalented, not only is he an impressionist and not only is he a good dentist, but he's also a junior optometrist, so he can give him a good old eye exam. Turns out his eye sight is even worse than his teeth though, and the only obvious solution is to give Henry big ass coke bottle glasses. One painful dental exam later and Henry looks like a bigger dork than Richie ever did. :)

Mike is not a very vengeful person, so he's not super into the idea of humiliating Henry, however, he does like the idea of getting a one up on him a little. His revenge fantasy is really just the concept of Henry working for him. Mike's got a successful farm and Henry comes to him groveling as his little scrappy farmhand like "Mr. Hanlon, sir, my back hurts, may i please, perhaps, possibly, maybe, if it doesn't inconvenience you, take a break?😔" and Mike just shooes him back to work. Then, because he knows Henry is such a good little worker he hands him the bolt gun and tells him to crawl into one of the pens and kill one of heir massive hogs. When Henry shows hesitance because these hogs are lowkey terrifying, Mike shrugs it off with a little "Now Henry, you're a big boy, you can handle it." and then PUSHES him into it like how he pushed him down that well. He cannot, in fact, handle it, because the moment Mike turns his back Henry starts screaming for dear mercy while Mike doesn't give a single flying fuck.

Eddie's fantasy is quite similar to Richie's but it takes place in a doctors office and i imagine it's all black and white like a 1950's b movie. Henry comes in claiming to be suffering from some awful unknown disease that nobody but Eddie could possibly help him with. Eddie cackles like a mad scientist and calls in nurse Richie to help him do the phsyical check up. They do a very thorough examination that includes giving him like 20 different shots of "medicine" that's really just water. He then diagnosis Henry with an awful, terrible, absolutely terminal case of "I'matotaldouche-osis". The symptoms include "Bad hygiene, ugly hair, and being totally insufferable every day of your life.". There's sadly only one cure for this fatal disease, complete amputation, they'll have to amputate his legs, his arms, his ears, and possibly even his waste (Eddie's doesn't really know how he'll do that, but i'm sure he'll figure it out through trial and error). Cue the comically large buzz saw.

Stan's revenge starts out with him bird watching as per usual, when he spots an ultra rare breed of bird; the mullethaired prick, native only to Derry and commonly found in flocks of other species of prick. How wonderful. Unfortunately though it IS an invasive species, so Stan must take it out humanely. He shoots a blow dart at "it" which instantly paralyzes Henry, but of course the revenge is not quite over yet. Stan takes Henry's body and paints him grey with some very quick drying paint, then plops him right ontop of a new fountain for his bird buddies. He even poses him all mean and tough looking like he did before. All his bird buddies really like it, especially the pigeons, who think he makes a great bathroom. That's what we really need as a society, less bullies, more birdbaths, right?

Bev just thinks it would be nice if Henry could walk a mile in her shoes, so her revenge does just that. Henry shows up to school in like a blouse, a pencil skirt, and heels while Bev's dressed in stereotypically masculine clothes. She catcalls him, insists he's only dressing that way for attention, makes a bunch of comments on his appearance that makes him uncomfortable, lots of stereotypical sexism. Eventually he snaps and tells her he is not interested, but when he tries to leave she literally attacks him with a sling shot. Of course everyone acts like HENRY'S the freak in this situation, even though he politely told her no multiple times and she attacked him with a fucking slingshot. Anytime Henry tries to point out the fact Bev literally shot rocks at him everyone's like "well why'd you wear a blouse today if you didn't wanna get hit on? Sounds like some one was being a prude". Doesn't it just suck to be demeaned based on how you dress Henry? And doesn't it just suck not to be believed when somenone of the opposite gender attacks you? And doesn't it just suck when you get called a whore or a prude even though you KNOW you didn't do anything? Doesn't it?

Ben's idea of revenge is straight out of a stephen king story, literally, he just feeds Henry the pie from thinner. He uses his intellect and knowledge of Derry's history to find where he can get his hands on the coveted pie, and then the next time he sees Henry he makes sure to tease him with it. "Oh hey Henry, i was just sitting outside getting ready to eat this entire pie by myself because i'm such a disgusting fat tub of lard. I sure do hope you don't eat it in front of me because, you know, foods about the only thing I have going for me. My fat ass would just hate to see you eat it instead of me.". So obviously Henry eats it, and as everyone who has read or watched thinner would know, he begins to lose weight rapidly until he's practically just skin and bones. Henry is so weak and frail he can't eveb bully people anymore, he can barely even stand to be honest. This continues until Henry passes out mid lunch and falls face first into his mashed potatos.

At some point during each one of these little fantasies Henry takes a moment to ask "Wait, are you doing this to me being i'm a sexist, lying, racist, antisemetic, homophobic, hypocrotical bigot?" and without fail every member of the losers club would always respond with a very enthusiastic "Yep!!".

[floof-ghostie]

Kenji Sato for the character ask game?

How I feel about the character:

I feel like he's someone I can genuinely relate to. I don't do sports or anything, but when he brought up being judged and scrutinized after moving to America (hinted that it was because of his background), I genuinely felt that, coming from an immigrant family and going to a predominantly white school full of customs and social cues that I wasn't used to.

The way he's so gentle with Emi makes me so happy. I think it's funny how this cocky hotshot guy acts like such a sweet and loving dad. I also really appreciate how the narrative lets him cry and that it doesn't make him weak. It's just realistic. He's under so much stress, anybody would break down.

I really enjoy that instead of him being a nobody when not in Ultraman form, he's actually a famous baseball player, and is super cocky and proud. But when he's Ultraman, he makes a lot of mistakes, and is genuinely bad at the role at first. He needs to work hard to earn the public's favour again. I like how they turned the whole "civilian is a loser, but hero alter ego is amazing and cool" trope on it's head in that regard.

All the people I romantically ship with this character:

Myself lol

My non-romantic otp for this character:

Ami Wakita! I think they'd have a fun friendship. I won't complain if they become lovers in the sequel, but I don't want it to be rushed. It'd be cute seeing Kenji bond with her daughter, Chiho.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

He's demisexual/greyromantic, end of story. If he's to get a love interest, I want it to be well-written or not written at all, dammit.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character:

I hope that in the next movie we see him bond more with other kaiju. It'd make sense considering that Ultraman is supposed to help bring balance between humans and kaiju.

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

— B A S I C S

Name: Bellinor Lanverlais

Nicknames: Dusk, which is the name he goes by in almost all circumstances. The vast majority of people don't know his actual first name.

Age: 39, I'll tick him over to 40 when Dawntrail starts. Happy birthday?

Nameday: 21st Sun of the Second Umbral Moon

Race: Elezen, Wildwoodishgardian

Gender: Dude

Orientation: Pansexual, polyamorous

Profession: Gunbreaker, will still do DRK and DRG things occasionally. Also a carpenter.

— P H Y S I C A L A S P E C T S

Hair: Blondie blond blond with some white highlights that he doesn't want to think about but luckily blend in pretty well. He also has a beard. He will never shave it.

Eyes: Dark Green

Skin: Light skinned, but does look like he goes into the sun occasionally. He promises he goes into the sun occasionally.

Tattoos/scars: Nope!

— F A M I L Y

Parents: Extremely alive. His father is named Bernon, and he was a pikeman in the Ishgardian military until he and his wife deserted left, and he is currently a maverick Wood Wailer who should probably hand in his badge. His mother is named Gwenolie, she was a chirugeon in Ishgard, which is how she met Bernon in the first place. She retired completely upon reaching Gridania ... as far as Gridania knows, at least.

Siblings: His twin sister, Orianne. Her nickname, of course, is Dawn. She's a botanist most of the time, unless she feels like the Scions are not doing a good enough job keeping an eye on her brother. Then she's a lancer who recently picked up reaper, since it's hard to feel like you're pulling your weight when your brother and his boyfriend bro are both extra special dragoons, you know?

Grandparents: ALSO VERY ALIVE, although they're all getting on in years. Gwenolie's parents are Lionnet and Aurelle Tirauland. Lionnet is a (mostly) retired chocobo trainer, Aurelle is a retired knight. Bernon's parents are Ciceroix and Iliette Lanverlais. Ciceroix was also a pikeman in the military (now retired) and Iliette is a retired archer.

In-laws and Other: It's kinda funny this asks for in-laws but not ... partners? Farron is Dusk's almost-husband, which makes Farron's semi-adopted dad, Bjalla, Dusk's almost-father-in-law. Farron also has two kids, twins, named Sverre and Kara, who seem keen to adopt Dusk. The twins live on the First. It's a whole thing. And Estinien is ... <waves hand vaguely>.

Pets: Dusk and Farron are currently raising two amaro babies, which probably count. Their names are Eo Lad and Sul Lad, and they're adorable. There's also Duck, of course, but he's not a pet.

— S K I L L S

Abilities: He has an excellent memory for names and visuals. He is an excellent carpenter. He's also usually pretty good in social situations.

Hobbies: He enjoys woodworking, playing piano or cello, or painting when it's Hobby Time.

— T R A I T S

Most Positive Traits: Kind, determined, resilient.

Most Negative Traits: Sore loser, has a very difficult time telling concise stories, tends to hide when he's Not Alright from most people.

— L I K E S

Colors: Greens and blues.

Smells: Sawdust, and the way super cold, crisp air smells.

Textures: I have never thought about this question, and I do not intend to start. He probably likes when he runs a hand over something he's sanded and it feels perfect, though. Does that count?

Drinks: Likes finding new teas to try. Also a closet wine snob.

— O T H E R D E T A I L S

Smokes: Not tobacco! :D

Drinks: As mentioned, he is into wine. He usually stops drinking once he feels himself getting tipsy, but ... not always.

Drugs: don't worry about it

Mount Issuance: His chocobo Pike, of course. He also has an amber draught chocobo named Lance.

Been Arrested: Uhhh unless that one time in Ul'dah counts, nope!

I was tagged by @alixennial, thank you! I don't want to tag every single FFXIV mutual I have, so uh ... if you're one of them, do the thing if you want. :P

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life Episode 12 and 13 liveblogging

This is my first watch, so don't tell me secrets ;)

A lot of sweet romance stuff. These two do have a very warm chemistry together. It already feels like they've known each other awhile. As the viewer you do believe that they like each other very much.

Now that the idiotic forced misunderstanding is over, I can relax my blood feud. Go forth, my children, and be logical!

ML owes his family SO MANY APOLOGIES for the bullshit he put them thru about this idiocy. It bet it's not over, but at least everyone knows who everyone is now

Hmmmm should I be suspicious about this cold medicine?

If FL wants to get out of this mess she's gonna have to work mom a lot better.

hmmmmm on Si Lili's boat, "that monster??" The white garbed swordswomen? Intriguing.

That FL is lucky. You put me in the past and I could plagiarize at least 5 Supernatural novels but I could do NOTHING for tuberculosis.

What trouble is Sil Lili in and how will ML get her out of it?

....guys do u think all this cutsie time at home for assassin bro Teng Zijing is to make it more sad when mom & kid die horribly ?🤔😶

Look I'm not gonna start lying to ya'll, I don't care about that mom & kid's life or death other than intellectual curiosity and plot reasons.

THE BOX IS OPEN. 🤘🤘🤘🤘

It's.... just a dude with bad hair?

A "Level 8 Master", whatever that means. I'm sure it's a very impressive wuxia ranking.

ML's plan is just to return to the country and tbh that's a good plan, I can't argue with facts

Episode 13

Second Prince's cup breaks... Poison, omen, or badly glazed cookware? 🤔

Oh they're traveling down the street where he beat up the Crown Prince's person and now they're reminiscencing about how great meeting each other was. And just a few scenes ago Assassin bro joked about how he'll run away and leave ML in a fight. I am DROWNING IN FORESHADOWING I CAN'T BREATHE

The knives in coat move returns!

Epic wuxia battles. This is where we could really use Uncle Wu

The 2 bros are not gonna abandon each other 😢

The mountain of foreshadowing's prophesy is fulfilled

ML is super upset about his bro and goes wuxia nuclear

"Tell him to wake up." 😭😭 I really thought we had another 10 episodes before he died tragically

No way, kill the Level 8 master. This is dumb, don't leave your enemy alive. Investigate another way.

Ok WAS it the CP.... Or hear me out, was it the Second Prince who set this up to get ML irrevocably on his side?

Second Prince even knows he's my suspect

Si Lili also a suspect tbh. Too bad if so, friendship CANCELLED

(But let's not forget about Princess Royal)

Loser brother and step mom should give him hugs. They're so worried ❤

awwww even the dad is broken up about this

"Tell me about him" -> ok 🍗 girl said exactly the right thing. As much as I hated this ship in the the earlier episodes, the screenwriter is doing a good job with it now. In every scene, you do sense the liking they have for each other

Fan Xian was his family too! I'm gonna cry

LMAO both Crown Prince and Second Prince are exactly the same.

See I told Fan Xian to just kill the Level 8 guy. Now he's being released like we're in fucking Gotham.

Lord Zhu is the actor who just did the emperor on Blossoms in Adversity! (Hello! Sorry you got bug eyes as an acting partner!)

How much do you want to be that whomever plotted this was well aware of the politics angle with Northern Qing?

Ok ok guys guys guys guys I have a solution to this The Killer's Going Free problem! ML needs to ask his poisioner mentor to murderate him - after he's crossed the boundry!

No? You're gonna kill him in public, because the Inspection Board's operations are above the law? O.....kay. I mean I get the angle but tbh I still would have gone with a secret poisoning.

[gopped]

so… remember when I said I wanted to create the most 2015 out of character most cringe fanfic about durgetash and I had that pole asking if I should actually write it (as well as some actual serious durgetash which I will.) well…. I did it. Any bad use of grammar/ spelling are 100% on purpose, this is not a serious fic aka please don’t think this is how I actually write.

enjoy 984 words of pure torture.

Hey my name is The Dark Urge but everyone calls me Durge for short. I’m really poggers and epic because I was born from the blood of Bhaal, yeah Bhaals my dad, suck on that posers. I have ivory-white scales and eyes the color of blood being splashed on the deepest of rubies. And I’m a storm sorcerer, studying to do magic is for losers! Plus I have this super cool slayer form that literally makes me so badass. As the true spawn of Bhaal you could say I have it all, I have a whole cult at my beck and call, all the different corpses I can eat… but there’s one thing I don’t have yet. There’s this one guy….. The chosen of Bane, we made like this pact thing that says I can’t harm him but it never said I couldn’t fuck him. And by the gods I will. I want him to be my shmoopie snuggluffagus cutie pookie patootie pudding muffin, but my dad is like a total buzz kill so I have to apologize for even thinking about putting a ring on that. Anyways his names Enver Gortash but he prefers for me to call him Enver because we’re close like that and I’m special and all that fun stuff. Plus I’m so much better that the depressed pile of dust and bones we also have to work with, ugh he’s such a boomer.

So here I am walking into Moonrise Towers so we can start discussing our super foolproof evil plans for how to take over the world. My super platform docs stomp against the stone steps to enter the tower, I glare at a few of the various subjects of other cults, idk which ones though, all I know is they’re not as cool as I am. Their probably posers and preps for all I know. But again, I don’t care. I make my grand entrance into the throne like room, doves flying behind me as light shines behind me, I’m just that important to like the world and stuff. I whip off my super cool angular anime sunglasses and I look around the room I see my pookie schmookie goth fantasy man boo-boo bear sugar goober standing off to the side and I see the old decaying grandpa corpse sitting on the big chair at the end of the room. Ugh, he’s the worst, and not even in a fun way, he won’t shut up about how his daughter doesn’t want to talk to him anymore and how he’s literally only here because of her, like how boring can a backstory get? He begins to speak. “Ah how nice of you to finally join us, you’re over an hour late.” He grumbles out, I swear theres like a moth living where his brain should be doesn’t he know that you have to be fashionably late? “Umm yeah.” I say, “that’s the point, what kind of nerd actually shows up on time.” I say rolling my perfect blood red eyes, making sure I show my sharp teeth as I scoff at him for extra effect. “Whatever, let’s just start the meeting already.” The reanimated corpse groans out, bones cracking as he repositions himself in his high chair. I cross my arms over my chest because I’m mysterious and awesome as the guy begins to speak, I don’t pay attention my sister is probably around here somewhere I’ll just ask her for the spark notes version. Gods I want to kill someone. Like I don’t have to, but I’m bored and it’s something I enjoy doing. Then I notice something in the corner of the room, while the old man goes on and on I go and investigate, the something I noticed was a cultist, not one of mine of course, they knew better. Upon further inspection, they don’t even seem to be a cultist, their robes look homemade with no reference to what they’re even supposed to be wearing. And they seem to be snooping around too, ugh it’s probably some Harper spy or something. Well, might as well get my kill count up while I’m here I guess… I approach them and before they could even begin to utter an excuse I shove my dagger in their mouth, dragging it against the roof of their mouth and tongue and pushing it down their throat. I watch with glee as the fear in their eyes gets worse as they start to choke on their own blood. I wiggle my blade, making the gashes in their mouth wider as I do so. I could stop there, but where’s the fun in that? I pull my dagger out to watch them cough and sputter out their own blood, uselessly clawing at their throat. Ugh, what a poser, I bet that even before I did that they wouldn’t be able to name 3 MCR songs.. I shove the spy onto the ground as they look up at me almost pleading with their eyes. Ugh it’s disgusting. So I take my dagger and I begin to hit them, it’s at this point I notice that the boring guy stopped speaking and the room was silent except for the occasional blood gurgle. I pull out the persons intestines and that’s when Gorts and my eyes meet across the room. It’s like so romantic like I swear someone casted like stop time or something… him and his pepsi dark eyes… I tuck some of the blood around my tympanum, gods he’s like so hot. Like the hottest I’ve seen in my 40 years of dreadful existence. Then he walks over to me and my heart goes doki doki he knees beside me on the other side of the now corpse and we start making out. No lips no tongue, all teeth. And then we took control of the netherbrain and got married.

The end.

[zacharyleartist69]

If you haven’t read Part 1 and Part 2 then you should go check it out before reading Part 3

This is the last part of my version of the Super Mario Bros Movie but with Funky Kong.

Disclaimer: This writing may not be accurate towards the actual movie but it’s kind of a replica of how it went down.

—————————————————————————

After some time, Mario and DK made it to the Mushroom Kingdom. However, they see disaster awakening around the kingdom. Bowser’s army takes over the lower area of the kingdom while at the very top there was a wedding. On the side there is the floating island that Bowser has been riding on and prisoners are being hanged over in the open area underneath lava.

The two crashed onto the ground once the rocket barrel lost its fuel. They slowly look up to gain consciousness and see the troop of koopas gathering up mystery boxes.

“You wanna do this?” Mario asked with a smirk.

“Yes I do” DK answered eagerly as he adjusted the sunglasses. Mario gets up and starts dashes forward as DK grabs the rocket barrel and throws it at the koopas.

Mario kicks the koopa away to make it let go of a mystery box then hits it, resulting in getting a mushroom out of it. He then kicks the mystery box to DK and DK breaks it, resulting in a fire flower breaking out of the box. DK claps the fire flower in his hands and powers him up; his fur turns dark red with white fades on them, his tie turns all white as the letters DK turns red, and the sunglasses turn all pointy and reddish colored.

“Yes FIRE!” DK said excitedly as he levitated a fireball in his hand. Mario eats the mushroom and grows twice as big as his original height then yells “Yah Hah!” before sprinting off. DK follows behind as he starts throwing fireballs at the koopas and the rest of the enemies.

Mario and DK jump and attack through the obstacles that are filled with enemies. IT may seem like the situation they are in right now is dangerous, but to them it is a lot of fun. Mario ground pound as DK runs behind him and jumps over him as he throws a fireball “This is fun!”.

“Yeah I know r-” Before Mario could finish his sentence, a koopa shell hit Mario, causing him to lose his power. “Haha loser!” DK yelled as he pointed at Mario, but the shell reflected on the wall and hit DK as well. He flops forward as he loses his fire power while Mario gets up and hits a mystery box to get a leaf out of it.

Mario grabs the leaf and powers up into a raccoon-like suit “Hey what does this do- WHOA!”. Mario starts flying around the air with the help of his tail, crashing into enemies to buildings to enemies in the sky. He soon manages to keep himself steady and laughs in relief. He looks down to see DK starts climbing up the spike ball and to the chains, so he flies next to him. “Nice raccoon costume” DK complimented as he looked at Mario. “You really think so?” Mario asked with a smile on his face. DK hits a cannonball away “Nope!”.

Mario rolls his eyes a bit and starts looking around “I don’t see luigi anywhere!”. “Check the lower cages then plumber m-” DK stops at his tracks as he spotted some familiar kongs in the cages. He smiles at the sight of them but it quickly fades away when he realizes where they are going “Funky! Dad! I see them!”. Mario turns his head to see Funky and Cranky “Looks like Funky doesn’t have a lot of time. I’ll go fly around to find my brother while you try and stop this thing.”

DK looked up at Mario worriedly then nodded “Tell Funky that I’ll be waiting for him up there!”. Mario nodded back at DK then flew off as DK started climbing up on the chains.

During this time, the ice on the gears burst and the cages started to go down once again. Luigi starts to freak out as the lava starts flowing inside of his cage. Funky soon sees the lava entering inside of his own cage. The two climbed onto their cage bars as the lava grew closer and closer.

“Funky!” Cranky yelled out as he watched his son’s cage half way full of lava. “It’s okay dad, I’ll be fine just- just take care of my kart department while I’m gone” Funky said as he closed his eyes to embrace his burning death.

All of the sudden, the cages have stopped yet again. However this time the cages slowly started to go up. The prisoners started to cheer happily while some sighs in relief, aside from the blue star who booed at this impact.

Once the cages are high enough, Funky climbs out of the cage and stands on his. He spotted Luigi trying to climb out and he swung himself a bit then jumped to Luigi’s cage. Luigi screams a bit as he almost lets go but Funky quickly grabs his wrist and pulls him up. “Thanks” Luigi said as he sighs in relief while holding onto Funky’s arm. “Anytime small green man” Funky said as he pats Luigi’s back, “hold on as much as you can man, okay? We’re almost at the top”. Luigi nodded and moved his hands to the chains so that Funky could swing himself to other cages to get to Cranky’s.

Funky successfully gets to Cranky’s cage and breaks open the door then scoops up Cranky “come on old man let’s go”. “I will let that slide this time my son but for now I am just glad that you are alive” Cranky said while holding onto his arm. Funky holds on Cranky tight as he is about to swing to Luigi to pick him up until he sees Luigi cheering. He looks rather confused until he looks up to see.. Mario.

Mario flies towards Luigi and picks him up from the cage, swirling around as he laughs for joy “Lu!”.

Luigi laughs as he holds Mario’s hand tightly “Mario!”.

Mario lights up for joy then turns his head to see Funky staring at them. “He is waiting for you up there!” Mario yelled as he quickly flew away to land with Luigi. Those words that Mario said flows into Funky’s ear. Funky takes a moment to process what Mario had said then face slowly lights up and grabs onto the chain. He started swinging back and forth until he swung onto another cage and to the next as Cranky held onto Funky as tight as he possibly could. Climbing all the way to the top as his heart pumps in nervousness and anticipation. He is hoping that Mario will not bring his hopes up too much. He is hoping that Mario is telling the truth. He is hoping to see his little brother again. He is hoping to see his face again. He is hoping to embrace him in a brotherly hug.

Once Funky makes his way to the top, he puts Cranky down quickly and starts searching for DK, calling his name out. Looking behind rumbles, uses his eyes to look in open areas, but there was no DK. Funky started to grow worried as he kept searching for him. Cranky soon goes to Funky and puts his hand on his arm “Funky he is not here..”.

“No.. no he has to be here, Mario can’t lie about this man” Funky said as he holds Cranky's shoulder and shakes him a bit. Cranky frowns at the sight of his eldest son this way. He was about to say something until a familiar voice was heard behind him “Hey..”.

The two turn their heads around to see DK, standing in front of them with his arm rubbing his arm a bit awkwardly “Surprise?”. Funky slowly lets go of Cranky as he stares at DK, speechless. He couldn’t believe it. He is really here. Standing right in front of him awkwardly. Tears started to form in Funky’s eyes and he bolted at DK on all fours “DONKEY KONG!”.

DK sees Funky running up to him on all fours and tears up. He soon starts running up to Funky on all fours as well with tears streaming down his face “FUNKY KONG!”. The two kongs soon shared a powerful and comforting hug as they cried into each other's shoulders. They are reunited. It feels like it's been so long since they last held or seen each other. Cranky couldn't help but smile at the sight of his two boys reuniting.

“Is it really you? Are you the Donkey Kong I know and love as my little bro” Funky said through his tears as he held DK’s face gently. DK laughed a bit and put his hands on Funky’s shoulders “yes bro it’s me! It’s really me”. Funky laughs alongside DK as he rests his forehead on DK’s forehead “You have no idea how much I miss you man…”. “Me too bro… Me too” DK replied with a smile on his face.

“Hey… why are you wearing my sunglasses?” Funky smiles as he notices DK wearing them. DK blinks a bit then snickers as he poses confidently with them “What cha think?”. “The goofiest kong I’ve ever met,” Funky answered with a playful smirk. DK gasped, ”How dare you!”. Funky bursts out laughing at DK as he holds his stomach, slams his hand on DK’s arm so that he doesn’t fall off.

Cranky chuckles a bit then goes to DK and Funky “Oh you two are something else, look I know I haven’t been the best dad in the world but the least I can do is to apologize for the way I treat you and Funky. I promise-”. Before Cranky could finish his sentence, the volcanic island they are on started rumbling violently. “What the- we can talk later, get down there to protect the others! And don’t worry about me, I'll be fine” Cranky commanded as he pointed to the ground.

DK and Funky look at Cranky then at each other as they nod in agreement. Funky snatches the sunglasses off of DK’s face then runs off to the edge of the island and jumps down with DK following behind. They grab onto the chains and swing themselves to where Peach, Mario, Luigi, and Toad are. The two land in front of the group as their arms shield them.

Luigi falls back from the sudden land of the Kong brothers while Mario lights up “Funky!”. Funky turns his head to Mario and smiles brightly “What’s up Little M! Nice racoon outfit”. Mario looks down at himself and laughs a bit as he hits Funky on his arm. DK cringed hard at Funky and Mario getting along until the ground started to rumble again.

A humongous bullet bill soon comes out of the volcano and starts heading towards the castle at full speed.

Mario huffed a bit then turns his head to Funky “throw me up there!”. Funky looks at Mario and nodded in agreement with a smirk on his face. Funky picks up Mario as he starts running towards the edge and throws him into the air. Mario steady himself in the air and flies as fast as he can to catch up on the bullet bill. “Hey, hey over here!” Mario yelled out as he gets close to the Bullet Bill. However, the Bullet Bill isn’t listening, it focus was on the castle. The castle grew closer and closer as Mario and the Bullet Bill keeps flying in the air.

Mario thinks for a moment then comes up with an idea “you asked for it!”. Mario ready up his tail and swirls in the air to hit the Bullet Bill’s eye. After what Mario did, the Bullet Bill stops at his tracks, gently bending the flag pole on top of the castle, and gives Mario a deadly glare.

Mario waves at the bullet bill nervously “Heh.. Hello”. The Bullet Bill turns it whole body towards Mario as it narrows it eyes then Mario quickly flies off and the Bullet bill flies after him. Mario started to lead the Bullet Bill away from the castle then into the mushroom forest. Flying his way around to avoid the Bullet Bill’s wrath. Throughout the chase, he runs into some mushrooms in his way and splatter through each of them. After the third mushroom, Mario spits out the mushroom guts and gags in disgust “really!”.

Mario soon spotted the same pipe that he fallen out and smirks as an idea soon popped into his mind. He turns his head to the Bullet Bill and yelled “follow me you bullet!”. He soon turns his body to the pipe and the Bullet Bill immediately chases him down. He flies as fast as he can as he sees the pipe at his sight. “Come on.. come on a little closer” he mumbles to himself as he feels the bullet bill grew near. He quickly jumps over the Bullet Bill once they are close to the pipe, letting out a “mama mia”.

The Bullet Bill hits itself against the pipe and it quickly wraps inside. Mario cheered happily as he flies around the air, thinking he had got rid of the bullet bill. He soon started to fly back but was quickly pull back as the pipe starts sucking uncontrollably. He holds onto the nearest mushroom as tight as he can, but failed to hold on and flies off. Wrapping inside of the pipe.

The pipe keeps sucking violently and growing into maximum power. Funky holds Peach and Toad close to him as he holds onto something tight while DK holds Luigi to him as well. But DK slowly starts losing his grip “I’m slipping!”. Funky looks at DK quickly and reaches his hand out to DK “Grab my hand! I am not loosing you again!”. DK reaches his hand towards Funky but he lets out because of the strong wind and starts flying off with Luigi beside him “FUNKY!”.

“DONKEY KONG!” Funky yelled but he soon loses his grip from the wind and starts flying off with Peach and Toad holds onto Funky’s arm as they are in the air. Funky grabs them and holds them into a protective bear hug so that they don’t hurt for whatever happens to them.

A beam of colors forms around the atmosphere and a bright light surround the Mushroom Kingdom. Causing everything to go white. And silent…

Mario soon gain consciousness as he started to hear voices around him “Huh?”. He slowly stands up and take a moment to look around on where he is. He is back in Brooklyn. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He is back home.

“Brooklyn?… I’m… I’m back home..” Mario mumbled to himself as he slowly gets up to his feet, feeling confused as ever.

“MARIO”

Mario jumped a bit and slowly turns around to see the volcanic island slowly rising up from the surface. He quickly runs away trying not to get hurt or pushed by the force of the wind.

Bowser soon jumps down from the volcanic island and roared again “MARIO!”. Bowser soon throws cars and rumble at Mario as he chases Mario down. Mario tries his best to dodge each throw but gets hit by Bowser every time Bowser grew close towards him. “YOU RUINED MY WEDDING!” Bowser growled as he picks up a car and throws it at him, “I WAS FINALLY GONNA BE HAPPY!”.

Mario gets hit by Bowser again and collapses a bit, but still tries to keep himself up from the pain. “NOW YOU WILL SUFFER-LIKE ME!” Bowser roared as he inhales then exhales fire at him. Mario quickly runs off to a near by building to escape the fire and hides behind the seats, hyperventilating. Bowser snarls low as his fist grew tight “You really thought you could stop ME?!?! YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A WORTHLESS WEAKLING! COME OUT AND FIGHT OR YOU ARE TOO SCARED?!?!?!”.

Mario didn’t respond at all. He stays silent entirely.

Bowser cackles softly as he smirks “I thought so.”. Peach comes out of no where and kicks Bowser across the face. DK soon appears and kicks Bowser away from Peach while Funky appears behind Bowser and lift him up by the choker then punches him across the face, causing Bowser to fly out of Funky’s hand on how hard Funky hit him. Bowser snarls low and gets up “Y’all wanna fight?! Fine BY ME!”. Bowser charges at DK and Peach but gets upper cuttend by Funky. “Ohh, nice hit Funky!” Peach said in amazement. Funky smiles at Peach “Thanks little Princess”.

Bowser quickly gets up as he snarls low then starts charging at them again. Funky cracks his knuckles and goes into fighting position with DK and Peach behind him. Bowser tackles Funky to the ground but DK and Peach punches Bowser across the face together to get him off of Funky. Bowser grabs Funky by the leg and swings him around then throws him at DK and Peach, causing them to collapse to the ground. Bowser started to breath his fire at them and they quickly dodges the flames, Funky grabbing Peach into his arms and runs off to the left while DK runs off to the right.

Meanwhile, inside of the building there is Mario. He is covered in bruises and is bleeding in certain areas. He is under sorrow and sadness from all of this. He feels like he should give up at this point. This is going to be his breaking point. Until he hears a television started to go static and fuzzy. He looks up to see the commercial him and Luigi created together.

“That’s why the Super Mario Brothers are here! To save Brooklyn—“

“Save Brooklyn”

“Save-“

“Save Brooklyn”

Determination soon rises inside of Mario’s spirit and he slowly gets up from the floor. Even though he is in pain, he started to walk out of the building he was hiding “lets a go.”.

As Mario walks forward, he sees DK and Funky getting their butt kicked by Bowser while Peach is being held back by the koopas. Bowser punches DK across the face multiple times until he grabbed him by the throat and lifting him up. Funky snarls low and charges at Bowser, throwing a hard punch against Bowser’s gut. Bowser drops DK as he snarls in pain and Funky charges to throw another punch. However, Bowser inhale in some air and exhale fire on Funky’s right side of his face, burning him through the process. DK and Peach gasped in horror “FUNKY!”.

Funky screams in pain as he backs away from Bowser. His sunglasses falls off of his face during the process and Bowser crushes it with his foot as he grabs Funky by the neck, lifting him up while he snarls menacingly.

“Hey!”

Mario stands tall as he looks at Bowser “Leave him alone!”.

All eyes goes to Mario when Mario yelled at Bowser. Luigi slowly comes out of hiding in amazement at his brother’s bravery “Mario..”.

Bowser grunted in frustration and drops Funky to the ground while DK rushes to Funky worriedly “You just don’t know when to quit do you!”. Mario hissed a bit in pain as he pops his shoulder “Yeah.. I’ve been told that before”.

Peach’s eyes sparkled at Mario’s determination then smirks “Mario!”. She breaks free from the Koopas grip and kicked a shell at the Super Star, making it break free from Kamek’s magic and fly away from Bowser, “The star!”.

Mario immediately runs after it as the Superstar flies away. Bowser panics and quickly runs toward Mario “NO! THAT’S MINE!!”. In the matter of seconds, Bowser exhale fire out of his mouth once he grew close to Mario. Mario jumps quickly to avoid the hot flames, but with the pain in his body it slowed him down. He falls down to the ground and closes his eyes to embrace to his burning death.

But… he didn’t.

Mario grew confused on how he survived then looked up to see Luigi holding a sewer lid up against the flames, shielding Mario from it.

“Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together!” Luigi said through his huffing, struggling to keep the lid up. Luigi looks over at Mario for split second and see his hand reaching for him. He immediately grabs onto his brother hand and the two ran to the superstar together.

“NO!” Peach yelled out in horror.

Bowser laughs devilishly as he stands tall, thinking he had burned Mario to death. Until he sees bright rainbow colors forming right in front of him.

The Mario Bros slowly stands up and turn their bodies to look at Bowser. Determination and Bravery sparked in their eyes. Feeling the power of the superstar makes them feel powerful at this very moment.

Bowser tries to kick the Mario bros but there was no effect. The brothers look at each other then at Bowser as they give him a heavy hit. Bowser flies back and crashes into his Koopa then commanded his army as soon as he holds himself up “RIP THEM APART! SHOW NO MERCY!”.

The troop of Koopas started to charge at the power up Mario Brothers. Unfortunately for them, one by one they all falter under the hands of the brothers. They jump, they stomp, they kick, they reflect, and they dodge.

While the bros are fighting, their parents are watching from the window. They are awed at the sight of their two sons fighting this way, especially their father. “Mama Mia!” Their father yelled in awed as he looks at his sons.

The bros soon charges at Bowser once the army of enemies are dealt with.

Now Bowser feels powerless.

However, he is not backing down a fight.

Bowser try to give the brothers some hits, but they are one step ahead of him. The Mario bros are quick with their hits to the point Bowser couldn’t keep up with their speed and fallen to their hits. When Bowser hit the ground, the brothers grabs onto his tail and starts spinning him around and throws him in the air. The brothers jumps up very high and punches hard onto Bowser’s face, causing him to fall to his sculptured like head and form a crack on it.

Bowser slowly gets up till he sees the brothers falling down towards him with their foot down, ready to kick him. He tried his fire breathing technique one more time, hoping he can stop them from hitting him. But luck didn’t support him this time.

The two bros slides their heels through the flames and lands a hard hit against Bowser’s head. A rainbow explosion soon formed from the kick and dust formed around the area.

Peach, Toad, DK, and Funky looks over at the island intensely. They wait patiently to see who won. Soon they see Mario and Luigi climbing up and the group started cheering.

Mario and Luigi smiled down at the group warmly then motion them to get up so that they can see Bowser.

Toad looks around a bit and sees a blue mushroom under the rumble. He smirks mischievously then whispers to Peach to share his idea. Peach smiles at his idea and nodded then takes the blue mushroom from him as they get up to where Mario and Luigi is standing.

Bowser groans in pain as he lays down on the ground, feeling so much pain. He looks up to see Peach and smiled immediately “Peach… Uh- here me out. This is not how I wanted it to go so.. can I get another chance?”.

“Ew. No.” Peach said disgustedly.

Bowser watches Peach get closer and immediately spotted the blue mushroom in her hand “wait- hold on- no no no no-“. He gets cut off by Peach shoving the blue mushroom in his mouth and turns miniature size in an instant.

Toad picks up Bowser by the tail and pts him in a jar as Bowser screams in a high pitch voice “HEY! HEY! THAT IS SO NOT COOL!”.

“Hah look Funky! He got the blue mushroom!” DK exclaimed as he punches Funky on the chest gently. Funky chuckles a bit at DK “yes I can- uh- see that”.

“See I told ya I’d get you a pet turtle” Mario said proudly at Peach.

Peach chuckles softly and crosses her arms “Not bad mustache”. She soon turns her head to Luigi and smiles warmly “Hey you must be Luigi, you were so brave back there! Nice job.”. Luigi blushes at Peach’s compliment “D’aw well- thank you Princess”.

“My boys! My heroes!” A woman voice raises close. Mario and Luigi turns their head to see their mother AND father running towards them with a huge smile on their faces. Their parents pulls the two brothers into a big hug as they laugh in joy. “Wahoo! Oh my gosh- Mario! You were amazing out there!” Mario’s father laughs excitedly as he grabs Mario’s shoulders and shakes him a bit with pure excitement. Mario lights up at his father then smiles softly “Thanks Dad..”.

“Alright bring it in!” DK said as he scoops up the group, including Mario’s parents, into a bear hug. Funky tries to join in but the pain is unbearable to ignore “Too tight too tight!”. DK immediately puts the group down and checks on Funky “Shoot sorry man”.

Mario gasped at the sight of Funky “Funky your face!”.

“Heh yeah it looks pretty bad but hey you did it man.. You did great out there” Funky smiled at Mario warmly. Mario looks at Funky then smiles back at him “Heh thanks.”.

“Let’s hear it for the Super Mario Brothers!” A man named Spike yelled out as he puts his hands out to show case Mario and Luigi to the crowd. The crowd started cheering for the brothers as they stepped forward with the group following behind them.

“These are my boys!” The father yelled out as he holds Mario and Luigi close to him. Mario smiles brightly while looking up at his father “Hah- hey dad!”.

Pauline soon comes around with a paparazzi and the news crew with a smile on her face “smile for the camera everyone!”.

The group poses for the camera and a flash appeared as they take the picture.

—————————————————————————

The next day comes around and an alarm goes off in a bedroom. A hand appears from the covers to stop the alarm and the figure slowly sits up. The covers soon falls down to reveal Mario underneath it. He stretches his arms out as he let out a yawn and slowly gets out of bed.

Luigi blows his cup of coffee gently after getting dressed and holds Mario’s cup up for him to take it once he is done changing. The two take a moment to enjoy their coffee then gather up their tools and exit out of the door. They step out of a mushroom house and take a deep breath, inhaling the air of the area that they are now living: The Mushroom Kingdom. Some toads greets the Mario Bros their mornings and the bros return the favor.

Mario goes for a handshake once the toads leave but Luigi takes the upper hand and starts racing off. Mario laughs happily and runs after him. The two jump around the platforms to the warp pipe in front of them and falls inside of it then disappears through it to wrap off.

Starting a new adventure in a new world.. together.

THE END

(Yay its done :D)

[mostdefinitelyahumanperson]

Lore Bits and HCs for my Magical Girls AU because I have Severe Brain Worsm

under the cut because it's a looooong boi (also not super organised or structured. oOpsie-daisy)

tl;dr : a ragtag found family (they're autistic and trans) find themselves battling space-cops with their newly acquired elemental powers because some autistic robot wanted to LARP as Its favorite anime

Zane

It's an alien-robot thingy from space

Like canon! Zane, It uses an hologram to appear human

Even by alien-robot standard, It's autistic

It became fascinated and enamoured with humans and Magical Girls so much that It revealed Itself to a few humans and gave them elemental abilities to create Its own Magical Girls team (that's what happens when the 'tism wins i guess)

It doesn't care that "Magical Girls" is supposed to be a gendered term 🤷🏼

Revealing Itself to humans is an alien crime, so now It's on the run

Most of the threats the Team fights is literally just alien-robot cops coming after It

Prefers It/Its pronouns, but because bigots use those maliciously, It only uses them with Its close friends. With everyone else, It prefers they/them slightly, but is mostly apathetic

Doesn't know how old It is in Earth year, but knows It's a young adult by Its specie's standard

AroAce, in a queerplatonic relationship with Cole and Kai

Very Tall (6'4'')

Dresses very conservatively, has an impressive collection of beige sweaters. Pants are always clean ??? (weirdo)

Cole

First human turned Magical. Earth powers.

When Zane first arrived on Earth, It was lost and confused, and Cole helped It. That's how they met, and that's why Zane decided Cole has "the pure heart of a Magical Girl"

He was houseless when he first met Zane, they now have an apartment together

He's the oldest (25) and as such fills the role of big brother to the group

Gives very good advice, such as "most crimes are morally correct" and "punch nazis always" and "never talk to cops"

A source of emotional stability for the others, great at co-regulation, very chill

Living happily and healthily, and caring for his community, is his greatest protest

Used to have a shit relationship with his dad, but now it's better, which puts him in the perfect position to support Kai, Nya, and Llorie, who all have shit relationships with their parents

Draws very well, designed all of his tattoos

Tattoos are : Earth Dragon (right arm), Energy Dragon, Water Dragon, Lightning Dragon, Fire Dragon, Ice Dragon (all on left arm), Mountain Landscape (back), White Lily, Music Notes (both over his heart), Piece of Cake (right buttcheek), Pink Crystals (both legs), Mouth with Tongue Out (right inner thigh), there's probably more but I'm out of ideas 🤷🏼

High as a kite 24/7. He uses it as medication for his chronic anxiety and sensory issues

Autistic <3

Special interests include : music history, music theory, just music in general actually, philosophy, baking, geology, and vintage technology, especially retro gaming. he's such a loser <3 (compliment)

Very good baker, makes insane edibles

Dresses punk, but musically prefers prog rock because he's a tasteless nerd (also listens to punk, of course, other types of rock, metal, and some subgenres of dubstep)

Yellow and purple shoelaces

Very Tall (6'2'')

Besties with Nya (mlm and wlw solidarity)

Romantically gay, asexual, transmasc

He was on testosterone for a bit, he no longer is as he is happy with the androgynous in-between he's reached. Doesn't want any kind of surgeries

In a queerplatonic relationship with Zane and a romantic relationship with Kai

Kai

Met Zane through Cole

Got turned Magical because Zane figured he'd enjoy it (It was correct)

Resident Himbo. Not a single thought behind those eyes.

Had started apprenticeship at father's forge, but relational conflicts made him leave

He has a horrible relationship with his father, and *very* mid with his mother

Pays for Nya's college education by participating in a shady underground fight ring, The Slither Pit. wins a lot, makes good money

Also has a successful OnlyFans

Has a bit of a drinking problem, but he's working on it (it used to be much worse)

Autistic and ADHD <3

Special interests include : footwear, hockey, hip-hop, metallurgy, glass art, kinesiology (I don't know, man, he's a sport nerd or whatever), hot peppers and hot sauce

Crop tops, tank tops that show off side boobs, booty shorts, grey sweatpants, high-waisted pants, fire prints, red, varsity jackets. Vaguely retro vibe, with the most 90's hair possible (too much hair gel and frosted tips)

24 years old

5'6''

Bisexual, demi-romantic, transmasc

On testosterone, has had top surgery

In a queerplatonic relationship with Zane and a romantic relationship with Cole

Nya

She got turned Magical because Kai, Jay and Cole nagged Zane non-stop until It agreed to Magic-ify her. Kai was ecstatic when she ended up getting water powers (he thinks sibling having opposite powers is Very Cool™️)

Her initial reaction to the turning was to be fucking pissed. That's her initial reaction to anything that stresses her out. Once she got over the weirdness of the whole some-alien-robot-guy-turned-me-into-a-fuckin-magical-girl thing, she ended up embracing it the most out of all of them, she's practically a vigilante at this point

She can fight even better than Kai, as martial art is one of her favorite way of releasing stress

Along with fixing cars

And since she has a LOT of stress to release, she's very good at both of those things

Special interests include : machines, especially cars (her main one), Journey to the West, Queer history, apes (her favorites are chimpanzees), She-Ra and He-Man

Autistic <3

High-masking. It's giving her autistic burnout, so she's been trying really hard to learn to unmask. Her friendship with Cole and relationship with Jay play a big role in her unmasking journey, as they show to her that she can be safe and secure while being herself

Burned out, but she won't let herself rest :/

She's a double-major, engineering and gender studies

She has a terrible relationship with her mother, and very mid relationship with her father

Besties with Cole (wlw and mlm solidarity)

They have similar taste in music (rock, prog, punk, metal). They like shopping for vinyls together

She's a coffee snob. Annoying about it.

Really sappy cheesy lovey-dovey when alone with Jay, but more friend-like when they're with other people (she doesn't like broadcasting her softer side to the world)

Cargo pants, muscle tees, tank tops, leather jackets, distressed denim, steel-toed boots, army surplus, navy blue, army green, black and grey, camo print

Hair up in ponytail or bun always, for sensory reasons

22 years old

5'8''

Butch bi-lesbian trans woman

On estrogen and progesterone, doesn't want surgeries

In a romantic relationship with Jay

Jay

Zane turned spark Magical because spark was infodumping about anime and how much spark'd love to have cool powers

Is the only one on the team who can fly, Zane has no idea how that happened

Cannot stand still, cannot shut up. the AuDHD is strong with this one

Special interests include Sci-Fi, especially space stuff, Starfarer being spark absolute favorite franchise, Magical Girls anime, anime in general actually, machines, video games, snakes, chicken husbandry, animation

Engineering major. That's how spark met Nya

Wanted to also major in theater, but a double-major was way to much for spark

Is in an improv team instead, as a hobie

Spark's a very talented drag performer. makes costumes sparkself. Drag-sona is a genderless alien named Zap, uses zap/zapself pronouns

Favorite music genre is ~computer noises~

Drinks way too much pink monster. Collects limited edition cans

Has not only accepted, but embraced the cringe 😌

A furry, made spark's fursuit. Cole drew the design

Dresses like if arcade carpeting and techno-unicorn had a baby

23 years old

5'4''

Panromantic, demi-sexual

In a romantic relationship with Nya

Llorie

She's the baby of the group. She got turned because Zane needed a "chosen one" for Its fantasy scenario

She's not *actually* chosen for anything, but she plays along because she's just happy to be here

Going through the Magical Girl transformation SHATTERED her egg

She graduated from Darkley's, an expensive boys-only boarding school. She's just starting college, majoring in (uuh, I don't know yet. Is veterinary a major ??? I've never been to school.)

When in her magical form, she has non-human features, such as golden horns, fangs, a green scaly tail, pointy ears, and claws

Dysphoria hoodie, always. She's had it since she was 10 (it's running small, but she's very emotionally attached to it)

Her parents are both stinking rich, and emotionally neglectful. Her dad is a weapon magnate, her mom's a world renowned archeologist (that's a plot hole. archeologists aren't usually stinking rich ??? whatev's). They stuck her in Darkley's and pretty much forgot about her. She hasn't come out to them yet, but she's out to her uncle Wu, who was the only family member actually there for her throughout her life

She's autistic <3

She met the group because Nya can spot a baby trans from a mile away, and immediately entered big sister mode. Nya's been helping her navigate the early stages of transition, offered her an understanding ear, gave her advice. They're practically sisters at this point. Naturally, the rest of the group also adopted Llorie.

Special interest include Starfarer (duh), plushies, fishes, especially sharks, mythology/legends/folklore/fairytales

*skirt goes spinny*

18 years old

5'2'' (she's itty-bitty)

She's still trying to figure out her sexuality, but she highly suspects she's on the aro and ace spectrums. Trans girl.

[choclatecoveredlove]

Your favorite??

synopsis: when asked who your favorite person is you respond with their name. they respond accordingly.

dorm leaders x reader

Riddle

are you- are you serious???

face is even redder than his hair

he can’t function for like a solid 20 minutes

has to make sure he isn’t hearing things

for the record you’re his favorite person too

he won’t admit it though because as a dormhead he has to remain unbiased

“Prefect, about what you said earlier, about me being your favorite- did you um.. did you mean what you said?.. Y-You did? Well I appreciate the sentiment.”

Leona

smug as hell

yeah of course he’s your favorite

he basically knew it already

honestly though it makes him so happy

he’s somebody’s #1 for once???

immediately pulls you into a tight hug and refuses to let go

“What’s wrong herbivore? Don’t you wanna be held by your favorite person? … And for the record, you’re my favorite person too, so don’t go sayin’ that about anyone else, ‘kay?”

Azul

oh shoot you killed azul

his brain is just white noise for like a solid hour

floyd and jade have a great time teasing him about it

he cant believe someone said something so nice to him

does he cry later when he thinks about it? yes

“ I’m the prefects favorite, really?!? This isn’t a joke?? I mean.. of course I’m their favorite. Um please excuse me, I have to do something..”

Kalim

he’s your what??????

well youre his favorite too!!!

but so is jamil

oh and his mom and dad and his siblings and-

but now he wants to throw a party to show how happy he is that you said that

“Huh?!? Do you mean it?!? Wow, that’s so sweet!! Hehe you’re so cute! You’re my favorite person too y’know!!”

Vil

he’s definitely heard that before

it means a lot more coming from you though

he already knew that he was though

he’ll make you say it whenever he’s feeling down

will make you say it in front of neige

he is your fairest one of all

“Oh? I’m your favorite, do you truly mean that? That’s very sweet of you potato. Since you shared a secret with me I’ll share one with you as well, you’re my favorite as well.”

Idia

passes out

ortho has to wake him up

bright pink hair

super embarrassed but also super cocky at the same time

like he’s a loser shut-in but also he’s a genius so why wouldn’t you like him???

he doesn’t associate with a lot of people so it’s kinda hard to pick favorites but you’re up their

“ I-I-I’m your what??!?!? You can’t just say things like that!!! I guess I get it though- I mean I’m basically a genius so why wouldn’t I be your favorite!!”

Malleus

ヽ(°〇°)ﾉ

woah no one has ever said that to him before (sebek is the exception)

after the initial shock wears off he becomes smug

i mean why wouldn’t you like him

he’s a crown prince, handsome, and incredibly talented

“ Child of man, I did not know you felt so strongly about me. Truth be told, I feel very strongly about you as well, you are the most precious thing in the world to me. Shall we begin our courtship now?”

A/n: Umm okay first work is fine idk i threw up before writing this so brain is a little fuzzy. hope you enjoy at least!! and feel free to request something ^^

[darkcitiesnluv]

Can I order one of Jungwon and the character when they went to sleep together for the first time? And then he's shy at first but likes being around her

Kiss✨

@nanasmitek here it is!! Hope you like it!! If you anymore request? Ask box open!

{ also, they're going to sleep together as in sleeping beside each other ! 🤭}

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You stop at the fridges area where it has all the delicious yogurt drinks stack inside. You glance at every single one of them but couldn't choose one to buy for your sweet sweet best friend, Jungwon.

The young boy injured his hand during his taekwondo practice so you decided to visit him after school. "...... uhh.....fine I'll take the banana one, he likes them...." You grabbed the banana drink and went to the cashier to pay for it.

You decided to surprise him at his house. "Hello, Mrs. Yang!" You whispered to her bringing the bag of food and banana drink for Jungwon.

" Hello! Why are you whispering?...." she whispered to you back. " Wonnie doesn't know I'm here, so I'm surprising him" you giggle making Jungwon's mom chuckle. " Ok," she said before going back to the kitchen.

You stopped walking in front of his door room. Your heard noises coming from his room. " All I wanna dooo~~ is to kick it with youuuu~" it was Jungwon singing to a song from Jay Park. You suddenly open the door and caught him dancing in front of his mirror.

" Y/n what are doing here!?" He yelled at you while laughing nervously as he immediately grabs his phone and pause the music. " I thought you were injured?...." You smirk to tease him.

" I am...my right hand is injured," he said shoving his casted hand against your face. " not my feet " he pointed at his foot. His cute dimples growing deeper because of his smile.

" Aish! Jungwon only if you weren't hurt I would've punched you....here loser, I bought you food and a banana yogurt drink!" You smiled giving him the bag.

" Let's see," he said putting the bag down on his bed and taking out the food. " Okay~~ I like this, and this and- banana milk!?.... Weren't there any of strawberries!?.... Oh my god Y/n" he complained on purpose to tease you. You facepalm and mumbled "I knew it!... Oh my god, I-... I'm sorry baby, I'll buy you another one next-"

Jungwon raised his eyebrows still grinning widely. " Wait. Wait. My. Time" he said in English with his cute voice. You tried your best not to crack a smile but failed. " You said, baby? You called me baby?" He said in his language. You widen your eyes realizing what you said to him.

" Oh- oh Jungwon! Not like that!.....I mean, you are a baby! Look at you! You're so cute! Have you seen your cheeks? Your puffy cheeks with dimples? You're baby!" You exclaimed pinching his cheeks with your fingers.

Jungwon bit inside his lip and rolled his eyes showing you how annoyed he feels. However, he couldn't control that look as soon he saw your pouting lips and he crack a laugh. He grabs your hands from his cheeks and pulls them away from his face. After a second he holds both of your hands and guides you towards his bed.

You were shocked because Jungwon isn't the type to hold your hands so sweetly unless he is trying to trick you or something. You felt weird out of his sudden behavior, Yang Jungwon, guiding you to his bed is something a bit unusual.....

"YANG JUNGWON! WHAT ARE TRYING TO DO TO YOUR NOONA! YOU PERVER, I'MMA TELL YOUR MOMMY!" You glared and slap at the extremely confused boy's shoulder.

He narrowed down his eyebrows. " What do you mean perver-.….. YOU'RE THE PERVERT ONE FOR THINKING DIRTY! And just because you're one month older than me, doesn't make a noona, calling yourself a noona makes you sound super old" he smirked and laughed.

You gasped and hit him in the shoulder again. " Whatever shit garden," you said sitting on his bed and crossing your arms over your chest. 

" Hey! That was mean" Jungwon said trying not to laugh at the nickname. " Anyway....Ah....now let's be serious...." He said. His thin smile faded and replaced itself with a straight sad frown. You started to feel worried because most of the time Jungwon is always happy and smiling and never shares a sad story.......unless you want to count the story of his.....passed away cactus 🌵.

" Jungwon what's wrong?....." You scooted closer to him. You put a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. His gaze towards his hands that were playing with his fingers. You saw him gulp down just by the movement of his neck. Is Jungwon nervous? Does he want to cry? What is going on?

" My dad came home...." He said slowly as his voice wanted to crack up but he would cough purposely so it wouldn't show. You furrowed your eyebrows forming a worried expression. Now you understand why he's acting like this. It just had to be that man again to make him feel unhappy about himself.

" Wonnie! What have I told you before! Do not listen to him!" You hold his face with both of your hands. Both of your gazes locked to each other. " He expects too much from you, and doesn't give anything! You're just a teen! You're still a child! You need to live your life calmly and freely, just focus on your school, the auditions later!.... Jungwon.....you are allowed to make your own choices too....okay?" you said slowly trying to get the words to go through his head.

" I know Y/n, but it's just.....he says so much that it makes me doubt myself...." Suddenly his tears run down like a waterfall on his cheeks. The pale fair skin of his face turns red. The boy felt embarrassed and covered his face with the sleeves of his white hoodie.

How much you wanted to protect your best friend, he means everything to you for so many reasons. You pressed your body close to him, wrapping your arms around his body tightly. You rest your head on top of his head. " Wonnie, baby, nooooo don't cry! You're a strong boy! Come on! Why are you suddenly becoming soft around me?" With your watery red eyes, you try to make Jungwon feel better but still, you felt him cry even more.

"Come here, let's sleep together....." You said almost forcing Jungwon to lay down but he stopped you. " NO- what if my mom comes in and thinks the wrong idea-..." His eyes were still red and puffy. His nose as well. That made you feel in pain as you wanted to give him a super tight hug letting him know you are there for him.

" That's crazy! She won't think wrong at all! I'm sure of it!" You smiled kindly. Jungwon shook his bangs away and grins. " Okay....." He said with a sheepishly grin.

You pushed him down on his back. You grab the blanket that was spread in the bed. You pull it up to your shoulders and his as well. You scooted closer to him holding him as if he was your baby brother. Your arms wrapped around his neck and shoulder, his face almost touches your neck. You felt he was calming down little by little. Soon his sobbing turned into nice calming sounds of his breathing.

'He must've felt asleep....' You thought.

You leaned closer to kiss his forehead while patting his soft black hair. " Thank you for staying by my side....baby" Jungwon mumbled and chuckled lightly at the 'baby' part to make fun of you. You felt his free arm wrapped around your torso as he went back to sleep.

You had a blushing face. " Shhhh Jungwon, just sleep...." You said although you felt something in your stomach. What was it called again? The butterflies? You felt butterflies in your stomach?......what's the meaning of it?

[sscoutregimentss]

could you please do L, U, V, Y and Z for Armin Arlert Please Queen, i just passed by and i already love ur your account💕💕

i teared up a bit at how nice this ask is (´•ω•̥`) i wrote this in modern au again oopsy daisy

edit: added a read more bc this post is kinda long

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Armin is not terrible with kids, but no where near great. Growing up with no parents and having his grandfather die at such a young age led him to grow up fast, so he can't really relate to kids and what they... do.

Like he will see a baby and just talk normally to it. After doing some reading on why baby talk is important, he makes an effort to babble more to them but he really struggles. Or when he's with Gabi and Falco he asks them about quantum physics and Gabi is just like "uhhh I like fortnite."

He really tries. And it's not like he dislikes being around them, he just struggles, and kids don't really like him much either.

Also he cannot stand IPad kids. He blames it more on the parents then on the kids, because they're just kids, but one of his biggest peeves is crying, whiny children with snot on their bright blue silicone cases, eyes glued to a screen instead of dealing with the world. Since he is Armin, he's still polite and gentle with them, but the minute you're out of earshot he's complaining about it for a good 30 minutes.

In terms of his own children, he's actually a really good parent. He did a lot of research on how to raise kids well and he does his best to make sure his kids get what he couldn't in terms of upbringing. He's some what distant? Like his kids aren't ranting and raving about their new crush to their dad, but there's a really good bond between them and they go to him whenever he needs anything.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Armin is prone to telling a little white lie to get what he wants.

In general, he's subtly manipulative. Not in like an abusive or generally scummy way, but in a... human way. We all use manipulation to get what we want, in the end. Like puppy dog eyes or pouting.

He's always transparent about what he's doing, and it's not like he's causing any harm to you. In fact, most of the time its for your own good. Like if you're feeling a bit self conscious, he'll pretend not to notice until you manage to work up the nerve to think better of yourself, stuff like that. Or if something is bothering you, he'll figure out a way for you to bring it up instead of him so you get better at communication. He'll come clean after his little rouses work, but sometimes you wish he'd just tell you what he was doing as he was doing it.

He also takes a while to even consider you a priority. Even though his whole thing is taking your relationship slowly, you're quick to find out that he may call you his partner, but you're under school work, work, family and friends in the "Armin's Important Stuff" scale. He's not an easy shell to crack, so it's kind of expected, but unless you confront him, he will not even realize that he's doing wrong.

Chronic nail biter. Even when he's not nervous.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

On a scale of "beauty guru" to "horrendously stinky" he's a "I care for aesthetics."

He's got a very distinct dark/light academia (depends on his mood) aesthetic that he must keep up. His clothes are always ironed, never tattered, and though most of it is second hand he looks very put together and sometimes even expensive.

But in terms of beauty, it's not his priority at all. He likes the way he dresses because it makes him feel like he's ready to take on the day, and he showers everyday for obvious reasons, but he doesn't wear makeup, and his skincare routine is just washing his face and sunscreen.

Speaking of skincare, he has effortlessly flawless skin and hair. So smooth, so silky, and he barely puts in effort other than the basics. You're convinced it's because he's blessed by the gods, but he says its because he gets enough sleep every night.

His hair grows back super fast, so he has Mikasa cut it since he can't afford to go to the hair dresser so often. He liked the long hair as a kid, but now he finds it annoying, so he keeps it neatly cropped. She's a good hairstylist.

He's also... surprisingly ripped. He looks super skinny but he's got abs for days. Unlike most of his friends, only works out for mental clarity, and not muscles or gaining strength, so he's not like huge and bulky but he's pretty fit.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like overly judgmental people. It's only natural for people to assume things, but people who dedicate their free time to just assuming things about people annoys him to no end. Like people who assume the worst out of him because he hangs out with Eren, or people who think that he's some single virgin loser because he gets good grades.

Also, playing into Armin our semi-pretentious angel trope, he prefers a well read partner. Someone who he can make references too or will take his recommendations of classic literature, or maybe even watch ocean documentaries with him. They don't have to like every last thing he likes, and if they just haven't been exposed to things he won't mind at all, they just have to be open minded and not write off things he enjoys as "nerdy shit."

Piggy backing off that, he wants someone who somewhat cares about their academics. They don't have to be the next Einstein, or a straight A wonderchild like him, but rich brats who's parents are paying for their schooling just for them to party annoys him. It's not fair that he has to work so hard to keep his scholarships and other students are working hard to pay their tuition just for people to come because their Mommy and Daddy said so.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Armin falls asleep at 11 pm and wakes up at 7 am, without fail. It's amazing. You question if he's even a college student.

He uses an old fashioned alarm clock that's at the opposite side of his bed, but sometimes he wakes up on his own and forgets to turn it off, making him run out of the shower to stop the ringing before his roommates wake up.

Before you two started dating, he just slept on his side. But once you two got close, he can't sleep without hugging something if you're not spending the night.

When you do spend the night, he likes being little spoon, or facing you and having you nuzzled in his chest (or vice versa, he's not picky).

He's quite a neat cuddler. No limbs haphazardly thrown over you or anything. His legs are very gently intertwined with yours, he has his arms in a very specific spot to make sure you're comfortable, and he doesn't snore or anything.

Sometimes he sleep talks. Very rarely, though, but when you catch it, it is the funniest thing ever. He has really wild dreams for such a down-to-earth person— you caught him babbling about turning into a 150 meter skinless giant once. Weird.

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

In relations to my last ask, how would you write Danny revealing his ghost identity to Sam and Tucker? Set somewhere in the month between Danny being vaporized by the ghost portal and the opening episode.

sorry for sitting on this one for a couple days, I didn't have the spoons to go into the answer I felt it deserved

I know there have been fics and aus about Sam and Tucker not being there during the accident, but it's been so long since I read one so I guess it's time for my take on it!

Danny would have been Freaking Out after it happened, like he sees his reflection and realises that something fuckin' weird absolutely just happened to him, he might not twig at first exactly what it was because he figures he could be hallucinating or his vision could have been fucked up by the light in the portal, it isn't anything serious right?

the power surge from the portal would have alerted his parents who come down into the lab and they go absolutely buck wild with joy that the portal finally worked!! and oh my god Danny you weren't standing too close to it right?

Danny's thinking 'why the fuck aren't they saying anything about the white hair and glowing eyes' but he glimpses back at his reflection and it's totally normal again, okay so maybe it was a hallucination okay that's good

his dad is pretty much doing a victory dance while his mum is scanning him for any contamination, she says his readings are abnormally high and they should keep an eye on him and run some decontamination procedures

boy goes back to his room feeling pretty shaken up, he probably calls Sam and Tucker immediately to tell them what happened, he might mention that he was seeing things after coming out of the portal but everything seemed to be fine now, he feels really cold tho

his parents pull him out of school for a few days to keep an eye on him but nothing especially unusual happens, he mentions to his parents that he feels cold all the time and they keep checking his temperature and ectoplasmic readings

it's an unpleasant few days, he has to scrub his skin almost raw in the shower and wash his hair three times in a row every night, as well as drink a fuckton of water and take a diuretic to flush out his system, they make him take some kinda medication they developed that's supposed to keep him from absorbing any more radiation than he already has, it makes him really sick but they keep making him take it

but in the end despite feeling incredibly unwell his readings DO go down and his temp DOES climb back up so the Fentons breath a sigh of relief and just tell Danny to make sure he tells them if he feels sick again or if anything unusual happens

what they DON'T realise, is the treatments worked to flush what was currently in his system and on his skin, but it didn't do anything for the fact that he was now producing his own ectoplasm, which very readily began to replenish itself after the initial purge

he goes back to school and tells his friends all about his terrible last few days, and suddenly Sam is looking at him in alarm and whispers 'dude your eyes are glowing'

Tucker looks over like 'what do you mean? they look fine'

'they were absolutely glowing! like just for a second they were-'

'bright green?' Danny asks, mildly panicking

he tells them exactly what he saw in the mirror when he came out of the portal, and they finally start wondering if maybe it wasn't a hallucination

they go hide in some empty classroom somewhere and discuss what should happen next, Tucker thinks Danny should tell his parents, Danny does not want to go through another few days of decontamination procedures, Sam sides with Danny, mostly because she's generally anti-parent in general but also because she thinks that the Fentons' methods sound dodgy as hell because of how sick the medication made him

'I mean have they even tested those meds properly? how do they know it won't make him worse?'

it's at this point that the school-bell rings and Danny falls through the desk he was leaning on

Sam and Tuck think he just slipped, Danny also thinks he just slipped, but Danny also noticed that he felt really weird and tingly for a moment there

in class his pen keeps slipping out of his hand, in science he drops two beakers and is barred from handling anything fragile for the rest of class, he finds himself feeling weirdly lightheaded and motion sick at random moments, his stomach flipping and his feet feeling almost like they aren't completely touching the floor

he doesn't know that it's his body very momentarily ignoring gravity, not enough to make him float completely but just enough to make him feel weirdly unanchored to the ground

Tucker is very much convinced that Danny should tell his parents about this, Sam thinks he should probably go to a hospital instead, Danny thinks telling his parents is probably a good idea, but he's highkey terrified of them making him take that medication again, they kept assuring him that it's harmless to humans and the sickness is just a reaction to the ectoplasm in his body, but he knew that each time they made him take it he felt more and more like whatever was in it shouldn't be in him

so in the end he decides that he'll wait to see if the side effects go away on their own, so far they don't seem to be hurting him, and he'll take being lightheaded and dropping stuff constantly over taking those meds and feeling like he's got pins sticking into every nerve in his body

(like it was Bad, kid's lowkey traumatised)

and then in class he falls right through his chair, nobody sees what happened, he was at his desk and now he's on the floor, everyone laughs it off but after school Danny drags his friends around behind the gym to tell them what happened

he is freaking out, totally panicking and that's when Sam and Tucker notice his appearance change, it's wonky at first, flashes of light keep sparking off him and his eyes are glowing on and off, his hair is flashing streaks of white and his clothes keep shifting into something black

Sam snaps him out of it with a slap, but instead of going back to normal his whole body flashes and suddenly he's in his ghost form

he is SUPER confused about why he's in his hazmat suit again and why the colours are all wrong and Sam and Tuck have to tell him 'uh dude, that hallucination definitely wasn't a hallucination'

then a football comes flying past and some jock chases it behind the gym and see them standing there and is like 'what are you two losers doing back here'

and Sam and Tuck are like 'two?' and they realise that Danny isn't there anymore, the jock grabs the ball and runs off again

then Danny reappears

cue all three of them freaking out

the fact that he's fighting ghosts without hesitation in the beginning of the first ep probably means it isn't the first time it's happened, he's probably down in the lab with his friends, showing them the portal and telling them exactly how his accident happened, when something comes flying out

it immediately attacks them and Danny probably goes instinctively into protective mode, he transforms and lobs a punch at one of the fuckers, and it hurts it, a lot, he grabs it and hauls it around, throwing it back into the portal

Sam and Tuck are just like 'holy shit dude you kicked ass' and Danny's just like 'uhhhh I dunno what happened guys but that felt really super cool'

he turns back to normal as his dad comes downstairs and gets all excited about the three kids being interested in the ghost portal, cue opening of the first episode

at this point Danny is pretty convinced he's going to tell his dad, but Jack doesn't give him a chance to say much before going off on his monologue

and then the portal opens up again and the ghost comes back, this time with friends, Danny barely thinks before he's throwing himself at the ghosts, kicking their asses and lobbing them back into the portal, he turns around completely expecting to have to explain himself and finds his dad SOMEHOW hadn't turned around even once during the whole fight and by a miracle didn't notice anything unusual

Danny loses his nerve and transforms back without telling his dad anything, and then we have the events of Mystery Meat where he's still struggling to control his powers and whether or not to tell his parents

soooo yeah that's my take ~ hope you enjoyed

[trueshellz]

First times with Daichi Part 2

Part 1

First time having sex

You were on a mission to seduce your long term boyfriend. You had explored every part of his amazing body, been on your knees for him and had his mouth on you while he bought you to orgasm multiple times but you really wanted him to fuck you. But he had always put it off, not wanting to rush you and wanting to respect your boundaries. Which would be cute as hell but now you were just horny. So tonight, you were going to dress sexily and seduce him... in theory.

Buying some sexy lingerie in his favourite colour, you had bathed and shaved everything and worn his favourite perfume. The lingerie was a cute teddy with matching lace shorts, the cups were sheer and didn't cover much but you guessed that was the whole point. You had invited Daichi over to yours for "dinner" and pulled on a t shirt and some denim shorts to cover yourself.

Under the pretense of dinner cooking, you both sat on the sofa and watched an old movie. Slipping away, you went to your room and undressed, checking your make up one last time you before you quietly went back to the living room. His reaction was comical, spitting out his drink and almost choking as he took in your outfit.

"Ba-baby." He coughed and thumped his chest a few times as you perched yourself on his lap. "Baby, what are you wearing?"

You felt your heart lurch into your throat, looking down at him with a sad face. "You... you don't like it Daichi?"

"Like it?" He stroked a finger over your nipple, rubbing a hand up you thighs and over your ass as he pecked you on your lips quickly. "Baby, I love it. But... what's the occasion?"

Running your hands up his torso, you smiled as you felt him groan. His hands now rubbing the space between your ass cheeks as you slowly grinded on him. You leaned forward and licked his neck, whispering in his ear. "Fuck me. Please?"

Holding you back by your shoulders, he held your chin in his hands. Forcing you to look at him in the eyes. "You sure? You don't owe me, I won't be the type of guy who forces you. I can wait, sweetheart."

You shook your head, removing his hands from your face and tugging at his t shirt, pulling it over his head before tracing his abs and pecs. "I want you, please Daichi." Taking his hand, you ran it over your breasts and down to your pussy, placing it inside your underwear. You breath hitched as he began stroking you slowly, fingers circling your clit as your head dropped forward onto his shoulder.

"You're such a naughty girl dressing up and seducing me y'know that? Here's me thinking you were my good little girl. But you're a little tease aren't you baby?"

Your breath caught in your throat as he reached to the front of your teddy and unclipped the clasp holding your breasts secure. His mouth sucking your nipple deeply as he hummed against your skin.

"Look how wet you're getting, fuck. You want me fill this needy little pussy up huh?"

Holy fuck where had this come from? Daichi had dabbled in some dirty talk with you before, mumbling as you sucked his cock down your throat, but this was something else. His mouth sucked your throat as he licked and bit you skin, your hands threaded themselves in his hair as you began moving against his fingers.

"Fuck baby, lookit you riding my fingers. Need me to fill this pussy up don't you? Hmm?"

You whined as he moved away, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and licking them clean as he flung your outfit to the floor. He picked you up bridal style and walked to the bedroom, laying you down slowly he caressed your legs. Kissing your calves and thighs as he pulled down your shorts, Daichi was determined to make this good for you. He knew first times hurt, but he'd be damned if he hurt you more than necessary.

"Keep your legs open for me okay baby?"

You gasped as he sucked your clit, fingers running up and down your thighs as he licked and flicked it with his tongue. Rubbing your wet hole with his thumb, he pressed in gently and waited, letting you get used to the intrusion.

"If you change your mind you let me know okay?"

You nodded quickly, hands finding purchase in his hair as you titled your hips up, wanting his sinful mouth back on you. "Don't stop please, it feels so good."

Circling your opening, he began moving his thumb in and out, replacing it with a finger instead as he reached for that spot that made you clench around them. Using his free hand to pinch your nipples, you body arched at the multiple assault of your senses.

"So tight baby, I'm gonna have to stretch you to take my cock."

Adding another finger, he started moving them upwards, your body rebelling against the intrusion at first. Not being used to the force he was using, but soon as he began sucking your clit harder. The stretch morphing into a pleasant thrum under your skin as pleasure overtook your senses.

"Daichi...please don't stop." You let out a long groan as he began finger fucking you in the earnest, your hands scrambling for purchase on the blanket as you felt your body tighten.

"Dachi... 'm gonna... 'm gonna cum. Oh God. Ohgodohgod... don't stop please."

Back arching as you.felt your body light up with pleasure, mouth open in a silent scream as you felt your body twitching and shaking.

"Thats it baby, come all over my fingers."

Mannouvering up, he stripped himself of his remaining clothes while keeping his fingers inside you as he pulled on a condom. Rubbing his dick up and down a few times, he leaned over and took your mouth in a hard kiss. Stroking your tongue with his own as he pressed inside you, swallowing your groan as you felt yourself stretch around him.

"Nearly there baby. That's it, take my cock like a good girl."

Hand reaching down you rub your clit, you widened your legs to ease some of the pressure. Daichi using this opportunity to hold your legs open as he pushed into the hilt. God you had never felt so full, you could feel him pulse inside you as he moved slowly at first. Urged on by your whimpers and seeing your hand moving between your own legs, he began fucking you in the earnest. His groans mixing with your own as his hips pistoned inside of you, reaching up to pull him down to your mouth as your leg was flung over his shoulder. This new position hitting a different spot inside you.

"Feel good baby? You wanted my cock didn't you? Wanted me to fuck this greedy little pussy. Can feel how wet you are baby, dripping down my balls as I fuck you."

"Daichi... mmm.. you feel so good. So good, oh my god. Don't stop, don't stop please. Please please please."

You could feel the familiar twinge between your legs spreading all over your body, his mouth swallowing all your gasps and moans as he felt your body stiffen. Arching your back, the feel of your body clenching around him was enough to send him over the edge.

Well, guess that plan worked super well.

First fight

You had planned for Daichi to meet your parents for a while, but they always seemed to be busy. You knew their jobs were demanding but you thought they would want to meet your boyfriend, the guy you loved and were serious about. It took two months of planning for your schedules to match up and you finally managed to organise lunch at a restaurant. You had both dressed up, you in a cute dress with matching heels and Daichi in a fitted suit and tie. You couldn't help but smile as you saw how nervous he was.

"Stop stressing babe. They'll love you because I do."

"Yeah? I hope so."

Lunch had started well enough, you all engaged in small conversation about your lives and dreams. But when Daichi mentioned his life playing volleyball and his dream of becoming a police officer, the mood on the table dropped quickly.

"A police officer? Will you be able to support our daughter?"

"Dad? I-"

"Sir, I don't understand-"

"You think working such a lowly job is going to provide for my daughter? Not only did you waste your life on a useless sport, you're now going into a terrible career with poor job prospects."

"Dad! I can work and help with the bills. Why should it be his responsibility only?"

Your mother who has been quiet most of the dinner, suddenly stood up and placed her napkin on the table. "If you'll excuse us, I'm afraid I've seemed to have lost my appetite."

"Mum! What do you mean? You're joking right?"

The drive back to your apartment was tense, the atmosphere in the car was a huge contrast to the excitement that you had felt on the way there. You could see his knuckles white as he clutched the steering wheel, face drawn in anger as he drove. You jumped as he smacked the wheel with his hand.

"I'm never going to be good enough for you."

"What?"

"Getting a lowly job to support you. Making you work to help us out. Your parents are never going to approve of this relationship."

"Are you serious right now? I love you. I don't care about my parents."

As Daichi parked the car, you rushed to follow him as he stormed to the apartment. Pulling off his tie, you saw him run his hands through his hair and grit his teeth. You couldn't believe how rude your parents were, how judgemental they had been of him. You loved Daichi, you wanted spend your life with him.

"And you!" He whirled around to glare at you, you'd never seen him so angry. "You didn't even defend me."

"What the fuck Daichi? All I did was defend you. They're my parents, what did you want me to do."

"Take my side! Instead you said you'll get a job and made me look even more useless. Now they think you're settling for a poor loser."

You stormed up to him and poked his chest with your finger, you could feel tears of anger and frustration threatening to fall down your face. "Don't you ever say that again. I love you Daichi Sawamura. I don't care about my parents or what they're gonna say. I don't care about money or having a job. I care about you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have babies with you." You couldn't stop the tears this time, quickly the anger blended into sobs as you collapsed into his chest.

Daicho had frozen, not only had he been selfish and made you cry but he tried to digest what you had said. You wanted to marry him? Have babies with him? Him? He felt his throat close up as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat as he held you close.

"Baby, baby look at me."

You shook your head as he pulled you into his chest. His arms wrapped around you and rocked you side to side. You couldn't fathom how this day had turned out so badly, you didn't care about your parents and their thoughts. You had never agreed with their views on society and they had disapproved of alot of things you did. But you thought seeing you happy, they would accept him.

"I'm sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot. Shhhhhh, it's okay. I didn't mean to yell at you."

You sobs became hiccups as your tears stopped, you clutched the back of his shirt as he held you. "I love you Daichi. Fuck everyone else."

"I know baby. I know. I'm sorry."

Daichi promised himself that day that he would spend the rest of his life making you happy. He never wanted to see you cry again because of him.

[goosebumpsbookclub]

Say Cheese and Die

Like a skeleton at a barbeque, I rise from the dead to bring you a truly iconic Goosebumps entry: Say Cheese and Die.

So, a few of things about this one. First, it has the best title of any book ever published. Second, it has the best cover of any book ever published. (The Jacobus cover, that is, not the new one.) Third, the main character was played in the TV episode and also in my brain by a young Ryan Gosling with bad hair.

This is a story about cameras and about how cameras are very scary, or would be if they caused people to disappear. It starts with a group of friends sneaking into an old, abandoned house, a time-honored kid pastime that only occasionally results in evil cameras. Now, the thing about this house is that it’s not actually empty; a homeless man named Spidey lives there, which to their minds only makes the house spookier. (Spoiler alert: there’s no Home Alone 2-esque plot twist revealing that Spidey is actually a nice, not-scary guy.)

The camera they find in Spidey’s basement is, in the show, an obscenely large and clunky prop that doesn’t look like a camera at all. It looks like if a toaster achieved its lifelong dream of becoming a spaceship, but didn’t achieve it super well. It has dragon ears, you know, the sort of ears that would be on a dragon? And weird stubby wings with lights on the end, the purpose of which is inconceivable to the human mind. It’s absurdly top heavy and you have to hold it in the least comfortable way an object could possibly be held. In the book it doesn’t say it looks like all that, but it also doesn’t say it doesn’t; I recommend imagining it that way because it’s much funnier.

When protagonist Greg (post-Mickey Mouse Club, pre-abs) takes pictures with this goofy-ass camera, the pictures come out wrong: This photo shows his friend Michael falling over a railing, but Michael didn’t fall until after the picture was taken. That one shows his family’s shiny new car all busted up. When the family takes the car for a spin despite Greg’s objections, Greg’s dad drives like an absolute lunatic and almost gets his entire family killed, so you honestly don’t have to be an evil camera to predict that car’s days are numbered. Sure enough, it’s totaled within days. The man should have his license revoked.

It feels like R.L. Stine kind of runs out of plot right about here, so he just has Greg (future Oscar loser) run around taking pictures even though he already suspects the camera is causing bad things to happen. He also dreams about taking pictures—this is where the skeleton barbecue scene comes from, because much like a skeleton, Robert didn’t have the guts to put it in the actual story. Haha.

Things come to a head, finally, when Greg’s friend Shari peer-pressures him into taking a picture of her with the camera, and it causes her to disappear. She’s gone for two days, and her parents are terrified; this is the only truly harrowing part of this book. She reappears when Greg rips up the picture he took of her. Then Spidey materializes to provide some action and chases them, because the thesis of this book is that cameras are scary but unhoused people are even scarier.

For some reason this, not his dad almost dying like ten photographs ago, is the breaking point, and Greg (one of the white guys in Remember the Titans) and Shari decide to return the camera to the scary house, instead of just, I don’t know, handing it to Spidey the next time they see him. Greg even insists on taking it down to the basement, for plot reasons. Here they’re confronted by Spidey, who reveals his bananas backstory: He was once a scientist, and his lab partner invented the camera, which was at that point I guess just a normal camera that somehow “would have made him a fortune.” Spidey stole it, so the lab partner, who was a part-time evil wizard, placed a curse on it so that it would steal people’s souls. God, science is cool.

Spidey wants to keep Greg (soon to be Sandra Bullock’s boyfriend) and Shari in his basement forever so they can’t tell anyone about the camera, but before he can do so, Shari accidentally takes a picture of him, which kills the man. Greg (soon to be Sandra Bullock’s ex-boyfriend) posits that he died of fright. This is a patently wild choice on Mr. Stine’s part. There’s is a supernaturally evil camera that can (or so Spidey says) kill people, but the one person who dies in the whole book just drops dead of his own accord because the very idea of the camera is so extremely scary that his heart gives out or whatever. I don’t even know what to say.

Obviously the main thing about this book is that it’s shot through with anxiety over unhoused people—not concern for their wellbeing but unease over their physical existence. In popular culture, these people are portrayed as either frightening and gross or, at best, sort of magical, and R.L. Stine managed to do both here. The one moment when you might feel bad for him—when he reveals that he was cursed by a scientist/wizard and desperately wants to keep the camera from hurting anyone—is immediately undercut by his attempting to kidnap two children. Thus Spidey is both extra scary and extra pathetic, and you’re meant to believe that he’s homeless because he deserves to be, because housing is a privilege to be revoked and not a necessity hoarded by the rich, and that his death was perhaps unfortunate but mostly inevitable.

At the beginning of the book, Greg comments that the house Spidey is living in “looks like a haunted house,” which it fitting, because neither the narrative nor Spidey’s neighbors treat him as if he’s a person with a physical form and needs. “I’ve seen that guy around the neighborhood,” comments Greg’s neighbor, making it clear that he thinks of Spidey not as a member of the community but as an entity floating around a place he’s not quite meant to be. This mindset is the reason the kids never consider the morality of breaking into a place where they know someone is living and going through their stuff—the idea of Spidey having or deserving privacy doesn’t even cross their minds. But unhoused people aren’t ghosts, they aren’t hauntings, and they aren’t cartoon villains or inconveniences to be solved: they’re people who live in the same city or town or suburb you do.

If the scary camera represents the fear of being seen, of thinking of yourself one way only for others to see something different, even monstrous, it actually makes sense that Spidey is so terrified of it. When people aren’t staring at them—again, part of being so their being so relentlessly dehumanized is the lack of respect for their privacy—they’re averting their gaze. Kayla Robbins writes that the lack of direct eye contact makes unhoused people “begin to feel as if they were ghosts watching the world but not able to fully participate in it…ignored, dehumanized, and invisible.” Like Spidey, they’re rarely looked at directly, only through lenses—both metaphorical and literal—that work to remove their personhood.

I’m just saying, if Spidey had been given stable housing, he probably would have been able to hide the camera in a better place than the basement of an abandoned, unlocked house. It would have been better for him and for the kids, because then they never would have used the camera. To be clear, though, they also could have avoided using the camera by not robbing people. Honestly, they’re the real villains of this book.

Cover: It’s the best of all time. I want these skeletons to adopt me and then cook me a black bean burger, in that order. 100/5

Scare factor: I can’t even remember the scares because I got so worked up about how Spidey’s character was treated. The skeleton barbeque is decidedly unscary because it rules. The camera is only a little creepy. 1/5

Human decency: I hate these children and I think the evil camera should steal all their souls. 0/5

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!