#well this summer just sucks :)
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Itās still that same festival and itās still you. Except now youāre here after doing something great, right?
Congrats Akito
+ related Ena comic under the cut
#shinonome akito#shinonome ena#project sekai#pjsk#project sekai fanart#pjsk fanart#purple's arts!#purpleās arts!#fanart#there are others but Iām not gonna tag them#āwhy is Airi hereā you may ask#well itās actually implied (or maybe Iām just crazy) in Airiās summer festival cardās side stories#that she went to the same festival as Akito and Ena back then!#she says that her festival had a stage and performances#so yeah#i think Akito and Airi parallels story wise is actually really fun#and Iād love to talk abt it but alas I am just an artist#(aka I suck at writing)#also I know itās not Sunday today#but special post in honor of VBS#[spoilers] surpassing RW
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I think the funniest thing about scogan to me is that if you try to imagine it in practice it actually ends up much more compellingly fulfilling some of the tropes that the comics have seemingly always been trying to push with Jean/Logan. Which is just. Hilarious. Like the supposed (very old, tired, romance novel ass) dynamic theyāve often tried to push w Jean/Logan (esp in the new xmen era) is that of Logan representing some sort ofā¦ wildness or freedom to Jeanās restraint. That her āgiving inā (yuck) to him is also her embracingā¦ idk? Some sort of more natural, unrestrained version of herself and her power.
But it falls really flat with Jean not just bc of the misogyny inherent in the trope but also bc. Sheās literally already done that. Like several times in fact. Itās sort of her whole thing. She doesnāt need to fuck Logan to step into her unrestrained power. She already, as a character, is supposed to be a vibrant, impossible, wild manifestation of pure creative/destructive will. (And really itās kind of everyone elseā and the writersā latent misogynyā that keep fucking that up for her).
Scott on the other hand. Well. He kind of is the high powered female romantic lead obsessed with her job who gets sent on a work trip to a rural town where sheās forced to loosen up a little. Like for better or worse thatās kind of exactly him. He would fit alarmingly well in that sort of push and pull storyline. Which is soā¦ good to me. That Scott, of all people, makes more sense on the cover of a Johanna Lindsey novel than Jean does. That him having that kind of dynamic with Logan actually feels way more interesting bc Scott is restrained to a fault, he is an insufferable, neurotic little headcase who would rather die than tell a waiter they got his order wrong. And yet heās also the guy whoās admitted to actively enjoying riling Logan up bc part of him just wants to see what will happen. Which Iām pretty sure is called chemistry
#something to be said for scottās relationships w jean and emma and how they affect his feelings about power/agency as well!#I feel like w jean his instinct is just to bask in her sunlight to the point of living in shadow. which she doesnāt WANT but its. scott.#and as the boundaries blur between them her power is also sort of his but also it still isnāt just enough that he doesnāt have to feel#scared of Having it#and meanwhile emma is like ok sweetie what if I just Made You embrace your own agency. thatās how it works right. and scotts like yeah ur#so right it definitely does. this is such a healthy relationship.#and then w logan its like. this guy is literally just gonna keep bothering him until scott has no choice but to act about it.#god. he sucks so bad ā¤ļø#both of them. jean shouldnāt have to deal w any of them we should send her on vacation w ororo#wait no remembered ororo has also had an insane gay rivalry. damn nobodyās safe huh š#jean grey#scott summers#logan howlett#scogan#comics
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batman : prodigal (1998) pt.2 | (( pt.1 ))
#yes i do have MORE#i just really love this comics man it's insane#well that being said#don't let anyone gaslighting you that tim drake and dick grayson doesn't have the greatest brotherly bond EVER#if they do just ignore them#ppl like that are just weak#also wicked unbased unreal and wouldn't even survive this summer#my bro tim was literally out there saying he likes the sound of nightwing and robin a whole better than batman and robin#HE'S A DICK GRAYSON FAN SINCE DAY 1#literally protect him at all cost from those evil writers#New52 sucks#oops#tim drake#robin tim drake#dick grayson#batman dick grayson#dc fanart#nightwing
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hi.
#i know most of you didnāt even realize i was gone#but manā¦#my mental health was like in a state of ššš in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldnāt shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes š„²)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#iām still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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nothing makes me wish i had some variety of acme ray gun blaster more than when someone almost hits me on a pedestrian sidewalk on a motorized scooter/ebike easily doing 15+ mph on their phone/headphones/doesnt move or even be aware of actual people walking on the sidewalk around them. where pedestrians are going to be. where pedestrians are supposed to be.
#we've had a high number of fatalities from motorized scooters/ebikes hitting pedestrians on sidewalks this year#and it makes me livid#ive almost been pancaked by one basically on a weekly basis#to the point where im making this post bc sure enough it happened again TODAY#what sucks is this happens in places with all three paths and good bike infrastructure#theres a legal road for motorized vehicles a proper bike lane and a sidewalk for pedestrians clearly and well maintained#but the motorbikes somehow always end up on the sidewalk bc its got less traffic and they can ride faster w/o speed bumps#and fellas#i want to attack them with a branch im willing to even testify that in court#bc again they hit and killed 3 people locally just over summer
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Today in really terrible translations. Why, I ask you.
#my italian is not great but i can tell this sucks#and would not sing very well#mefistofele#hot faust summer#faust friday#whyyyyy#the sleepy/creepy rhyme is just#no#anyway i am gonna try to learn this aria#up the octave i mean#and maybe someday record it for you all
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We're back at 0 days since I've ugly-cried in public because miss my goats ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
#it's completely normal to weep openly in the Gatorade aisle at Target#because their favorite flavor is Glacial Freeze and you won't really need to buy it again anymore except for summer#and you won't look at that flavor without thinking of them#and yes there are still 10 goats alive and well#but the four we've lost so far have had some of the most prominent personalities#and the one I called my Soulmate I was obviously very attached to#but also just.. they're gone and they're not coming back and that sucks.#I'm just glad I have so many memories and so many pictures/videos to remind me of them when I miss them#it be personalle
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classes start soon
#in like a week but im taking the first one off so.#i need to take the rest of my life off i do not want to go there im literally there for a single class and a bunch of picked subjects i hav#no interest in this fucking degree save me#i was doing soooo well in the summer and i am about to become the most suicidal bitch on this site sorry#also the one class i like also kind of sucks but whatever i cant drop out anyway and im not gonna ill just let them torture me#with drawing and shit#intermedia this year again š i WILL die. sorry#oh the months of shame i am about to experience i literally wish i had never picked up a pencil goodnight#im gonna go pick up a pencil draw myself some little guy
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SPOILERS AHEAD if you've ever watched T.he D.ragon P.rince but after all this time, I may have finally found a voiceclaim for Copperhead? Everything about it just *chef's kiss* from the quiet, calm way the character talks which is very much in line with how Copperhead communicates! Consider Aaravos this boy's new VC!
#š || musings#š || headcanons#;; mun bullshit#I APOLOGIZE SINCERELY FOR BEING SO AWOL LATELY#Work has been manic but we are finally at the end of August so that should mean things will be a lot quieter now for a month or two#Working my last shift for the week tonight also just in time for my bday#The joys of getting old eh?#ANYWAYS been trying to avoid getting sucked into new interests but this show grabs my attention every now and then#SERIOUSLY DO NOT WATCH THIS SCENE IF YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT UP YET#This character though his VOICE <3333#I have struggled so hard finding vc's for my muses bc don't normally go out of comfort zone in media#But Aaravos is how I envisioned Copperhead so much???#Gets his words across VERY clearly without ever raising his voice#Since Copperhead can't raise his voice#But man the measured emotion and glee in exactly revenge against somebody who wronged him very dearly is peak kino#I hope everybody is doing well and had a good summer!!!! <3
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applied for a job a while ago and wrote in my spreadsheet "i am not fucking getting this job" not because of the qualifications but because my application was honestly just not that good. today the lady called me and scheduled an interview. Ok
#mine#i dont knowwwww though#urgh...#its in the city where i went to college so i know its a nice place thats familiar to me#but its also pretty hcol and the job itself is like...idk about the pay#the content of the job is good though like its basically exactly what ive been wanting to do#but then i keep coming back to my hysto...i really want that too#it sucks its like a rock and a hard place you know#i dont want to keep delaying this surgery i want my shit gone NOW#but at the same time i dont want to keep delaying my ~career~#and then i think well theres more jobs in the world...but then i think about how few ive applied to since graduating#and how long it might take me to find one after surgery#and if ill even want to or not cause this country is getting old#i want a job...but i also want my hysto...#i dont want to like get a job and then go do it and then be stuck for ages waiting for PTO and bennies to kick in and to find someone who#can take care of me when i can instead do it now like i already have a letter from my therapist and consultations upcoming#but also i need money and i dont wanna fuck up my early ~career~ days#I DONT KNOW#its a lot#i just wish id done the damn surgery sooner but i couldnt in 2023 cause i was working that summer#and this year i naively thought that i would be able to get a job relatively fast and just get hysto next year after working for a while#WHATEVERRRRRR#the interview isnt for another week and a half so ill talk to my therapist and see what she thinks#if i need to cancel the thing i can if not then i wont#ughhhh
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Good morning people! :)
#I started my creative writing class! Summer school doesnāt start today tho I just wanted to look at it#I donāt do any story writing yetā¦ but if I do start story writing outside of class should I put it here?#Also despite my chipper mood things kinda suck. My period started yesterday :(#But I hope all of you are well!
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Made a very scrappy little wind chime out of failed spindles. Some of them were too twisted to spin, some I made before I learnt how to off center the tips correctly, and some I just fucked up while making. It's not very windy today but generally it's super windy here, so I'm lookin forward to hearing them. They're very low and melodic. Also strung up some new lights, swept 8 months of winter debris off the back porch, put up a little tapestry, cleaned off the chairs and table... did another wind chime with the absurd amount of random keys we have which dont go to anything and which just make it really hard to find the right key, altho im having a hard time getting it to sound, so i might need to redo that one.
#1 most important thing in the summer to me is having a pretty back yard with lights strung up#where i can sit and smoke and spin in the evenings#dandelions are suddenly in full bloom as well. so beautiful all of a sudden#words cannot express how glad i am that its no longer winter#we didnt get spring its just summer now lol#7-8 months of winter n then 4-5 months of summer. miserable. i hate oregon with a burning passion#literally everything about it sucks so bad ā¤#one day i will live somewhere warm again where it doesnt rain 200+ days of the year
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I LOVE PUBLIC LIBRARIES!!!!!!!!!!!
#my sister is probably moving out after this summer (which fucking sucks) so i might get her job at our local library!!!!!#it's literally my dream job#its after school and it pays well and it's just putting books in place so i can listen to music while doing it!!!#public libraries are just fucking great man
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what if i jsut. dropped out. like do i really think that it's going to matter in the long run? with a major everyone says is useless and a choice in the future that everyone says is going to be obsolete before i even get the bare minimum requirements because every entry level thing has a masters minimum? like genuinely i don't even know if it's worth it anymore. the only thing stopping me is the fact i know if i do ill fall into a spiral worse than when i was 15 and didnt want to exist but like even that's not the biggest thing anymore. ill be a disappointment? been there done that in every second of my life currently. whatll it matter. it just. sucks. it all just sucks.
#sorry first cosmic post in a hot minute is a downer#it all just sucks#i think my annual summer depressive spiral decided to wait until august to kick in#which sucks i dont want to hate myself on my birthday but well see ig
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So what do you do when your favourite rapper makes a catchy song about the hardships of life that you want to love but upon release canāt connect with at all and after a few listens almost outright dislike because none of the pain and hardship life has put you through has ever made you a better person or given you the energy/motivation to do better and it actually just did the complete opposite and youāve lost out on precious years of your life and so many opportunities while trying to process the trauma and undo the damage
But everyone else seems to love the song to the point that you start to wonder if maybe youāre just a fucking idiot for not being able to make something good out of said trauma and hardship instead of just being filled with crippling anxiety and depression and bitterness and grief and rage
#kƤƤrijƤ#yes this is about ruoska#the mental health tanked again this week#sorry to put my ramblings in the main tag but I need someone to tell me Iām not insane for being so uncomfortable with the song#Iāve been nervous to say my full thoughts because people loved it so much and I didnāt want to rain on their parade#and the umk performance and mv were genuinely well done#but it just really hurts#if the metaphorical whip that hurt me was a tangible item Iād fucking shred the thing to pieces#and then burn the remains#so that no one else could ever suffer the same way again#it didnāt push me through life#it made me want to give up on it completely#Iāve been at my happiest and most driven and most fulfilled when I finally got a fucking break from it#one of the opening lines about sitting at the gas station actually triggered a really fucking bad memory I would have loved to forget#it fucking sucks because his songs have brought me so much happiness#a kind I havenāt felt in a long time#and then thereāsā¦.this#if nothing else I wanted to love it for Erikaās sake#but I just canāt#am I just misinterpreting the lyrics?#or projecting too much#I probably am#because god I am NOT looking forward to hearing it all though KƤ summer camp#and i hate that
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might switch to a bio major. what if I kill myself
#please humanities is so easy............. do I really want to go into medicine that badly.................#linguistics is like ok here's the 6 courses u have to take and they're all fun and u don't get any homework :))#biology is like TAKE THESE 40 COURSES CONCURRENTLY ALL OF THEM HAVE 8 PREREQS. IF U DIDN'T START LAST YEAR THEN UR TOO LATE. KILL URSELF#I might as well kill myself right now it'd be the same outcome just quicker#sorry. it's literally not that serious I'll take some courses over the summer. life is hard suck it up#narcissus's echoes
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