#uh... the post is obv just a joke

[justsomeoneunordinary]

This is my Ko-fi btw. in case anyone would like to support my lifelong dream of moving to Iceland so I don't have to experience another summer again ever 🥺👉👈

[spring-lxcked]

listen the movie is a whole separate universe, we know this, but i think my funniest rule of thumb is:

if i don't like something, well, it's an alternative universe? who cares?? it's not relevant to the games or my portrayal of william (or anyone else)

if it's something i already have established on my blog: i was right i was right see it's canon—

[krockat]

(sees my own post on my dash) eeeeey 😎

heyy bud what canni say. you got good stuff in that brain and also big heart a' yours.

good for me that i snagged mutualship w u b4 u grew bigger huh?

n hey - always glad to give ye that sunglasses smirk coded confidence

[astonmartinii]

girl, so confusing | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem norris!reader

will "norstappen" will work it out on the remix?

note: obvs everything here is hearsay and all a big fat joke i am just venting my frustrations with whatever the fuck lando just said after that race

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR |

- part of the brother's best friend series -

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 783,049 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: we don't just let people by because we have a big lead in the championship (that's actually how you end up with a big lead) btw.

view all comments

user5: WELCOME BACK OUTWARDLY BITCHY Y/N I'VE MISSED YOU

user6: the atmosphere shifted, my skin has cleared and the birds are singing

user7: i didn't think it would be against her own brother BUT WE'LL TAKE WHAT WE CAN GET

maxverstappen1: can you do all my media for me - you give a lot better sound bites than i ever could

yourusername: all my sound bites would be completely unusable

yourusername: cause if they thought you had a potty mouth oh boy they have another thing coming

danielricciardo: it's true i was around her when she stubbed her toe once, it was like shakespeare but concerning

alexalbon: or that one referee against chelsea, i've never heard so many creative insults

maxverstappen1: okay but my thoughts exactly

yourusername: twitter would cancel me baby

maxverstappen1: everyone wants cunty f1 back until i make contact and you ... open your mouth?

user8: not like all of lando's friends either being in the likes or the comments

user9: bro is fighting for his life in the GC after that press run

user10: i think y/n got all the sass cause lando that was not the diva statement you thought it was

landonorris: before you delete i already sent it to mum

yourusername: i'm not deleting it you big baby you gotta stand on your words bro

landonorris: nuh uh

yourusername: i can feel you pouting YOUR 24 YEARS OLD

landonorris: but i'm still your baby brother

yourusername: not with this PR strategy

landonorris: MAX WAS IN THE WRONG

yourusername: 1. i watched the ten laps before lando i'm not dumb 2. i support his rights and wrongs 3. you still won driver of the day and i thought that's what meant the most to you

user11: oh she gagged him

user12: can we get a rupaul's drag race reading challenge in f1 but it's just y/n reading the drivers PLEASE

charles_leclerc: literally all you have to do is spend 10 minutes with her in the paddock

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,304,599

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: still got my favourite norris on side and that's all that matters

view all comments

user13: someone check on lando cause DIVA IS DOWN

user14: diva is dead and buried at this point

user15: they're dancing on diva's grave

landonorris: DO YOU PEOPLE MIND ???

maxverstappen1: who is this random fan in my comments?

landonorris: i'm definitely not a fan of yours after this weekend

maxverstappen1: oh then let me add you to my block list

charles_leclerc: i thought unfollowing each other after a race in austria was our thing max :(

maxverstappen1: yes that's why i'm going to block him not just unfollow

charles_leclerc: oh good 😊

yourusername: and that's why i'm ready to get rid of the name altogether

maxverstappen1: i think you suit verstappen so much more anyway

yourusername: i'm ready when you are

landonorris: really? ENGAGEMENT TALK ON A POST THAT DISSES ME

yourusername: a diss? you don't want your sister to be happy? or am i not your sister anymore since max isn't your friend anymore?

landonorris: IT WAS ONE QUOTE LIKE TEN MINUTES AFTER BEING CRASHED OUT OF THE LEAD

yourusername: * second-place

landonorris: STOP IT

yourusername: don't dish it if you can't take it buddy

user16: not this brocedes era for max and lando

yourusername: @lewishamilton @nicorosberg i am so sorry they're minimising your trauma like this

user17: so real of you

yourusername

liked by alexalbon, maxverstappen1 and 934,098 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & landonorris

yourusername: when you forgot that you invited your boyfriend to stay at the family home before the british grand prix and arranged a big family dinner and the flight back to england and your boyfriend and brother decide to try and kill each other in the race and have now 'ended' their friendship.... relatable!

view all comments

user21: the footage... GIVE IT TO ME, SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL

yourusername: most excruiting three hours of my life boys are so dramatic

user22: shock horror mad max and norrif are holding grudges

yourusername: IF i didn't have the patience of a saint i would've gone mad max on their asses and mclaren would've been down a driver

user23: out here threatening the victim and not the aggressor

yourusername: now why would i attack my trophy husband?

landonorris: i didn't make the plane ride awkward HE MADE THE PLANE RIDE AWKWARD

yourusername: we tried to nap but the heat from your death glare kept us up

landonorris: THAT'S NOT MY FAULT

yourusername: it's kind of expressly your fault, you could've taken your anger out on a pillow or a 12 piece wing meal like a normal person

landonorris: max's jet doesn't offer wings

maxverstappen1: get your own jet then

yourusername: @ryanair we have a new customer for you

landonorris: NO I'M SORRY

maxverstappen1: finally

landonorris: just for your jet not having wings, you're still the one in the wrong overall

user24: i fear lando may not see his sister back in the mclaren garage for the rest of the season

user25: i mean she looks better in blue anyway

liked by maxverstappen1

oscarpiastri: can we please move on lando your attitude is stinking up the gaff

landonorris: 1. wtf osc you're meant to be on my side 2. where the fuck did you learn that

oscarpiastri: while you've been sulking in your childhood bedroom i've been taking in the normal norris hospitality

yourusername: he'll get over it he did this all the time when we were younger - he'll come back and join when dinner is finished

landonorris: TELL MAX TO APOLOGISE

yourusername: i guess you don't want any of these profiteroles then ...

maxverstappen1: i'm eating them all lol

landonorris: FINE GOD DAMN

landonorris

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 1,674,099 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername

landonorris: i think i just got gentle parented (brought matching jellycats) into forgiving max

view all comments

user28: about fucking time

user29: baby had his first real dose of wheel to wheel racing for a win and wanted to throw away a friendship

user30: good thing his sister never knows when to shut the fuck up and humbled these men cause lord knows without her lando would still be chatting shit in the media

yourusername: someones got to make sure lando doesn't embarrass himself (idk where his PR department went but mclaren need to run me my money)

maxverstappen1: girl, so confusing when you literally forget all about it as soon as we got you the jellycat you wanted

landonorris: i am a little brother first and foremost

yourusername: hard on the little you've been acting like a whole ass five year old

landonorris: have you ever thought that maybe i'm acting out because i miss you now you've moved in with max and wanted matching jellycats so we always have a part of each other??

yourusername: awww really???

maxverstappen1: that's actually kind of cute

maxverstappen1: and a hunk of BULLSHIT

landonorris: FINE I'M PETTY BUT I WANTED TO WIN SUE ME

maxverstappen1: well i also wanted to win so that's not the serve you think it is

yourusername: you only 'forgave' him because you saw that max was playing padel with charles

landonorris: umm yes obviously, i can't let lestappen be a real thing

yourusername: why not that's literally my dream threesome

yourusername: WHAT WHO SAID THAT

yourusername: lando i think your comment section is haunted

charles_leclerc: well i'm ... flattered

landonorris: you can have lestappen you weirdo

maxverstappen1: @charles_leclerc stop being flattered i don't share

yourusername: heheheheh

landonorris: that much is obvious... you couldn't let me win once?

maxverstappen1: no!

yourusername: no!

fin: here's a lil quick one today cause i had some free time! i am working on guilty as sin p4 but i'm so so so busy and i do be going to silverstone on wednesday xx hope you enjoyed !!!

[star-sim]

"noo! she's taken!" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ non-idol! bf! enhypen hyungs x celebrity! fem! reader ☆summary: you are a very well-loved celebrity, and your relationship is finally revealed to the public. ☆genre: fluff, silly boys ☆warning(s)? ygs liked the maknae ver so here's the hyung ver! maknae ver

heeseung ☆

i think ur a musician here

one of those very personable and insightful ones

giving laufey or mitski yk?

anyways heeseung is THE stan

within your fandom

he's the guy that EVERYONE KNOWS

like ppl will argue who is the best [name] stan and the moment he's brought up they shut their mouths

heeseung does not play around when it comes to stanning you, his gf

somewhat like riki, heeseung runs multiple stan accounts for you

but he's most active and most well-known on 1) youtube and 2) tiktok

all his youtube videos are titled

"[name] concert 11/25/2023 nyc, usa (she looked at me!)"

"[name] concert 11/26/2023 miami, usa"

"[name] concert 11/27/2023 berlin, germany (i touched her hand!)"

"[name] concert 11/28/2023 jakarta, indonesia"

"[name] concert 11/29/2023 melbourne, australia (i met her!)"

like how the fuck is he going to all of these concerts when theyre literal hours apart and OCEANS AWAY

he likes to vlog his concert experiences

and theyre very entertaining because he's like genuinely enjoying himself

on his tiktok he also records his concert experiences

but i also think he posts your fancams and makes edits of you

too many times where an edit of you became known as "that one [name] edit"

he makes a lot of thirst edits of u

too many captions like "i want her so bad" or "she's so fine i need her biblically"

everyone knows who he is, even ppl outside of your fandom or the music scene

hes just that one guy that really likes you

one day ur on tour

its all fine and dandy, ur eating everything up, ur fans are loving it

and heeseung is documenting his concert experience

as he always does

and then it ends and heeseung posts it

however

this concert vlog

is

uh

receiving a lot of attention

TOO MUCH ATTENTION

THAT ITS

VERY

SUSPICIOUS

........

you and hee are just hanging out in your hotel when his phone starts blowing up

and yours too

all the comments on his video are normal, the ones that are expressing playful envy at heeseung's presence at ur concert

and like

it's not like heeseung doesn't get these types of comments

but one comment catches his eye

it has like 50k likes

and hes like oh shit

"at 3:05 heeseung why are you kissing [name]"

kissing.

[name].

he clicks that timestamp

and oh my god

THERES LIKE A CLIP OF HEESEUNG KISSING YOU

you see

when heeseung records your concerts he's recording it both for his fanpage and for the memories

he'll take as many cute couple pictures and videos with you as possible

and he just so happened to accidentally add one of the clips of you and him

kissing.

in fact

he accidentally added A LOT OF CLIPS AND PICTURES of you and him being a couple

ones of you hugging him backstage, ones of you two holding hands, even one where viewers can faintly hear you calling heeseung "babe"

and the other comments

OH LORD THE OTHER COMMENTS

"THAT SHOULD BE ME"

"HEESEUNG MOVE ASIDE!!!!!!!!!"

"i hate seeing people live my dream"

"SHE'S MINE *growls*"

"[NAME] GET BEHIND ME"

obv theyre all half joking half confused, but i think ppl are able to joke w him bc he's such an obnoxious stan 😭

and heeseung is like

poor heeseung is sweating and panicking

bc shit HE JUST EXPOSED UR RELATIONSHIP

but when he tells u

you literally are just like

"okay"

OKAY????

"it's not a big deal"

heeseungs like WHATATATATA

at first he's kinda unsure

bc ur so chill abt it that he's almost afraid that ur actually mad at him 😭

but you legitimately do not care

and when he realizes this

he goes from

😱

to

😈

because

NOW HE CAN FLEX ON EVERYONE

he goes straight to twitter and drops more couple-y pictures of you and him

he probably posts a tiktok that pans over to you on his bed or something

caption like "it's exposed now, but yeah, [name] is actually my gf"

its goes so viral

hes so smug about it too

like whenever he gets into arguments abt who's a better fanpage hes like "I'M LITERALLY A HER BF???"

he becomes an inside joke in ur fandom

i think everyone jokingly flames his ass too

"why did she pick heeseung of all people...."

"pixelated fancam, ass editing, shitty camera, yet [name] still chose him... what did we do wrong"

"[name] wasn't lying in her song when she said she has bad taste in men"

"i can't believe heeseung literally stole my spot... i should be the one that she writes all her love songs about..."

free him 😭😭😭

jay ☆

ooh this one is kinda juicy

ur a musician slay

but sometimes you do modeling

for one of your shoots

you're showing off your midriff and ur just glowing sorry

all ur followers are like

"ughhh step on me [name]"

"i don't think ygs understand i need her"

"[NAME] ONE CHANCE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

"i want her."

very quickly goes viral

ur just so hot ughhhhh

but ppl notice something upon closer inspection

you have a tattoo on ur back

at first everyone is like

"okay sexy lady love the tat"

but then

when they look closer

they can't help but see that incorporated into the design

is two

very

specific

letters

J and P

almost like they're someone's initials

🤨🤨🤨

hmmmmm

interesting.....

who is JP?

HMMM???

and now that ppl look at it

you have so many songs and albums that refer to JP

like ur one album

called

"just playing, i love you" but it's commonly abbreviated as "jpily"

JP????? ILY?? JP I LOVE YOU???

WHO THE HELL IS JP

"whoever jp is, he needs to meet me in the parking lot so we can have a talk 😆"

"jp my opp"

"jp kys!!!"

"jp is living my dream"

hehe

you see this

and jay aka mr JP himself sees this

and ur like

yk what let's tease the fans

for the next few months ur just teasing jay's existence

using his intials

like one time you wear a heart necklace that has the letters jp engraved in them

or when you tweeted "i love jp" but followed it up with "Jurassic Park is a wonderful movie 😆"

oh god you make it so obvious

"jp is the reason i make my music" and then following it up with "Jimmy Page is my favoritie guitarist 😛"

like ur fans are tired

and theyre getting outright insane

"guys the winter is getting cold and dire... the voices in my headare telling me that [name] is dating this jp person and i don't know how much longer i can live in denial"

"fuck you jp that should be me!!!"

"i hope jp knows how lucky he is... if a hot woman like [name] tattooed my initials i think i'd die maybe"

"i'm fighting demons (and jp)"

until finally!!!

you go to an award show

you look great as always

ugh queen

and ur getting interviewed

the interviewer asks you a playful question like

"oh are you here with any date?"

AND YOU JUST SMILE

"of course, i'm here with my boyfriend, jay park."

oh man

when that gets posted

EVERYONE IS GOING CRAZY

JAY PARK

JP

AAAAAAAAA

and when the actual award shows gets posted

it keeps panning over to you and jay

and everyone is like

THAT'S HER BF????

all jay can say is that he's prideful duh

everyone wants u but he's the only one that can have you

you definitely take a lot of pictures on the red carpet at the award show

and jay is with u in a lot of them

he's holding ur waist so tightly

like you're not gonna run away cuh it's okay omg 😭😭😭

anyways i think it gets resolved pretty easily

ur fandom accepts jay

but they still joke abt him

and when jay makes a twt account it gets worse

he WILL respond to them

and he WILL flex u

every time he does it shuts down the argument right away.... if he wants to win he just needs to mention ur name

"jay meet me after the concert, we will fight to the death for [name]'s love"

and this mf responds "can i bring [name] to be the ref?"

"jay ur hair looks so fucked up in this picture"

and he responds "yet [name] still picked me and not you"

you have to tell him to stop fighting ur 16 yr old fans HELP

jake ☆

sorry ur a musician again

you have a new song that came out

yk how in some songs

there's almost like an interlude

where there's speaking parts

like in agora hills theres a small part where doja cat says "baby can you call me back, it's so lonely in my mansion" yk?

you have something like that in your newest song

cute!

except it's not just your voice

but a MAN'S voice too

JAKE'S VOICE

the speaking part is very flirty and suggestive

and when it comes out

ppl are like

WHO IS THAT MAN

and then when the music video comes out

theres a male actor that you have many scenes with

now.... the male actor's face is cut out...

but there are still many scenes with you touching him, holding him, kissing him, and vice versa

and when the speaking part comes on

that male actor is supposed to be the male part if that makes sense

that male actor is

drum roll plS

JAKE

when ppl read the credits of the song and music video

they can't help but notice "jake sim"

and when they search ur other songs and mv's

"jake sim" has never showed up...

until this song.....

interesting....

ur fans do a lil detective work

and this jake sim guy doesn't have any involvement in the music or acting industry....

so why is he in ur song AND music video....

hmmmm

they can't find any ig account linked to him

except one that's very obscure

it has a funny username like

"@laylasdad1115" so ppl are like "oh that's probably not even him" and you weren't even following that account so they just let it go

WRONG!!1

@LAYLASDAD1115 IS JAKE

and although you're not following that account on ig

when ppl scroll down to your very very old posts

they see something

very

very

very

miniscule

but

very

very

very

crucial

a post of you and a golden labrador.... and the caption says "i love you layla"

layla... laylasdad1115

and THEN BOOM

NEW SONG COMES OUT

AND AT THE BEGINNING

YOU SAY

"jakey, kiss me!"

OH MY GOD

WHO IS JAKE SIM!!!!!!

"@laylasdad1115 u better watch out...."

"who do you think u are jake sim..."

and then you have a concert

and its not a massive stadium, it's very casual

and there's a part of the concert where you just answer questions that ur fans have and just hang out w them

and someone asks as a joke

"who's jakey in ur song btw?"

and with the most straight face

ur just like

"oh he's my boyfriend!" and then you point to the front row and ur like "he's actually here tonight, say hi baby!"

and jake is so enthusiastic abt it, hes like "hi guys!"

while everyone else in the room is like

WHAT.

the way ygs are so casual abt it is so appalling

"[NAME] YOU CAN'T JUST CASUALLY DROP THAT U HAVE A BF I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING MARRIED"

"she's taken..... i'm gonna die.... "

LMAAOAOAO

it's known in ur fandom now that ur bf is jake sim or wtv

i don't think anyone even calls him jake

out of pure disrespect (😭) they call him by his instagram username

"laylasdad1115 might be dating [name] but i'm legally bound to her so who's really winning"

when jake shows up to your concerts i do think your fans joke w him like

"ouuu jake ur so lucky [name] is here or i'd give you a black eye"

FREE HIMMMM

sunghoon ☆

three words: your personal bodyguard

you're an actress cutie

and it's award show season

at all of your award shows ppl notice there's this tall brooding figure looming over you

ITS SUNGHOON LMAO

he's like

GLARING AT EVERYONE

HE KEEPS SQUARING UP RANDOM PPL 😭😭😭

ik this might be a crazy crossover but the moment he spots ryan gosling he's so ready to throw fists

"okay barbie boy you look like you want a broken nose"

sunghoon is very protective of you

obv bc the film industry is lowk kinda sus and exploitative, he def watches out for u a lot

everyone kinda just assumes that he's ur scary bodyguard

but then paparazzi pictures come out

and hes with you

in every

single

one

"goddamn her bodyguard is passionate about his job 😭😭😭"

in fact when the annoying invasive paparazzi interviewers come to talk to you sunghoon is sending the the NASTIEST GLARES

but like it's valid bc ur literally walking to Walgreens at 9AM on a tuesday why do you need to be photographed

"hi [name] can we ask you a few questions-"

hoon literally answers for u

"No. 😐."

interviewers are so rude, theyre like "well i didn't ask you, did i... [name] can we ask you-"

sunghoon just blinks and says

"No. 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐." again

and then ygs leave

theres clips of you at the airport where sunghoon is scaring all ur fans, which makes way for you to have a cmfortable flight

i think ur fans appreciate him but theyre lowk scared

"oh god this guy does not play abt his job 😭😭"

until one day

you get playfully asked abt ur bodyguard on an ig live

and ur like "wait what that's not my bodyguard, that's my bf"

UR WHAT????

HUH????

😱😱😱

ur fans are in the trenches

"i cant hate him bc he protects [name].... but damn i wish that was me 😞😞😞"

and when they review some of the clips w you and sunghoon they see you smiling and giggling with him

"he makes her happy so ig i'll let him have her </3"

"this is the hardest sacrifice i have to make"

i lowk think sunghoon doesn't care

he FIGHTS EVERYONE

only for u ofc 😊😊😊

maknae ver

[astralnymphh]

making ellie ur anal princess ౨ৎ

𓆩.𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝𓆪: subbottom!ellie, bit of a brat obv, spanking ofc!! rough n' nasty, sorta soft, an iota of lore buildup tbh im not doing all that, some fluff at the end i think, 2.4k+ words . BIG TEXT VERSION . MASTERLIST . DAILY CLICK . IMPORTANT TLOU POST . PALESTINE INFO . ART BY LOTTIE

Wintry brumes swept through Jackson this week had to have carried some alteration of spores, for Ellie to even chew her teeth over the word yes. Bizarre as the idea should strike— "Wanna try it from behind?"— recoiling lips over her ear rim, sunken in a seat behind, and masticating denimed ass with your honed nails; Ellie was all in, blushed to the bone.

Was she at all candid originally? No, that goes without saying. Humdrums and spectrums of explicitness on your part pervade each crack and inept cough of chatter that she starts days beforehand, throat literally cracking whenever the topic emerges on dreary mornings or alive nights. Twiddly of her thumbs or knees, breaks the thick silence on a spitty click— uncalled for finger jabbing you to see if you managed to evade sleep long enough, "Um, so— it really won't hurt if I.. god— this is so fuckin'.. uh, keep.. practicing?"

Practicing. One way to say it. You assured Ellie; "Yeah, unless you're a masochist praying for a death wish." which maybe could've been articulated nicer, but she's your girlfriend, and one of her major ground-breakers for falling smitten with you— your humor. Spankin' her butt the second she spanks yours, (In turn making her the butt of the running: "That's gonna be you on Friday." joke), or nonchalantly slipping the notion that she'd "Look hotter than a V.S model." in a black thong, flopping your head and averting casual gaze to blank spaces undeserving of your eyes as if your comment wouldn't fuck with her brain for the ticking remains of daylight. Just crude humor, and not serious concepts, right?

So beyond the shadow of doubt, of course, when she's bare lain, spreadeagled of her legs caging you in, maraschino face smudged flat to her bed, perky ass in yours and teased by the caphead of your plastic dick— you give all the humor that girl can get, and fourfold.

"Don't need to clench, baby. Your butt isn't going anywhere."

Ellie clenching for her oh so cherished life felt more like she was squeezing the nervous nectar out, pearly bullets brought upon by all that foreplay— or anticipation— bedazzle the creased parts and frowns she knits as you wrap a grip on your lubed length and brush the tip against her asscrack. It prods at her, mentally. Pokes her to open up, literally.

A drawn-out whine, low and wispy, breezes her throat, "Shut up," jaw tensing grit conjointly, "You're such an ass— and don't you dare make an ass joke, I swear." you suppose she attempted to rein in some essence of control with that suppressed tone of threat, cute threat if we're mincing no words, but it's futile. Can't rise above when you're pinned below.

You snicker, contrary hand swerving over and beginning to palm her butt's half-taut half-doughy feel, and yielding it to a pull, "Hmhm." the soft heat of your touch inciting her muscles to relax, just a slight. "Want you to put it in, set the pace for me, mkay?" your voice curls at the end, tilting your face even if she couldn't exactly see.

"Huh.." she releases a breathy chuckle into the mattress, then shimmies onto her ruddy, pockmarked elbows to allow a pivot of her head. "Makin' me do all the work, can't you just do it already?" she gripes, teetering between frustration and impatience, and nearly hissing, "Fuck me already." instead. Fair skin contours along her shoulder blades as she reaches back, little dimples you wanna deepen with presses.

Muggy fingers skid the bends of your knuckles, "Ts' cute when you do." and you slacken your grip, the harness lacing your hips tugging in nooks as she takes you and levels it to her hole, not quite inserting it before another scoff unbinds from her throat.

"Uh-huh, totally." the brat card was the only thing she could play, Ellie being Ellie— plus, fuck you for shoving such a vulnerability into her by eclipsing over her body and deciphering which touches and words made her tick into a, "Yes ma'am." this past week, making her eager to get piped dumb already, even if the thought conflicts with humiliation.

Intrinsic carnality, had her whipped subconsciously. Hot blood always pooled at her cheeks whenever the mere prediction of how this would go down flashed her mind, having to mosey out of her place for a contemplative stroll. Contemplate, contemplate, ooze her eyes into the raw white, winter void, "Fuck." she couldn't help but moan, and throb untouched.

Bands flex across her grasp as she tries pulling you inside, but her body is a bit too.. antsy, taut. "Babe, it's not— mmph, it's not going in. I think we have to—"

"Have to.. what?"

"Fuck!" a rushed moan tears as skin slaps, harsh and bridging on real tears. Of pain, or by pleasure? Ellie can't convey, but her thrust into the spongy bed and toss of head begging to get strung in your fist impart the guess that fuck— you've stretched her deep, bottomed in perfectly.

You let her hole familiarize the girth for a second prior to drawing out and slamming back in, "Uh!" plush globes rippling wherever the skin spilled on top of your hip bones jamming into her. The pressure clamping you in causes a tiny kickback against your folds, chafes your clit underneath. "Fuckin' tight, aren't you?" you're a damn taunt, winching that whisper ardent to her neck. Evilly; wicked as lusty spirits tempt.

"Holy fuck, holy fu— uhh, uh uh, shit!" streams of nasty and broken up groans hike out of her gaped mouth with each pump into her, poor girl having a gouge out with the bedsheets as a means of taking you, "It's so— uhn! So fuckin' bi— I can't, hhn'can't.."

Musing sighs blur into a pitying coo, you reply, "Mhm, you can. Play with 'urself baby."

"Okay, okay—" Ellie unfolds a breathlessness, "—unhh babeee, fuckkk me." and runs it into straught curses as her tatted forearm lodges in the narrow space separating her from drenched cotton, and forks her pussy lips open, rubbing her neglected bud in sloppy strokes. Her teeth bore into her soft, coral lips when her fingers tug just right, so delectably right she could come undone then and there with your added penetration, waning from pain to indeed— pleasure. Diverts her fingers a moment to massage all the dripping slick and lube through her labia 'till it drew pretty webs between, and resumes again, noisily as ever, "Ghnna' cum, guhhh— ohh my goodd." and so nasty; dribbles of thin saliva traversing the swell of her chin.

Goddamn, she's loud. Sure, it's adorable how you pump her into a blathering mess on your cock, but this was unforeseen; surrendering her every moan to get bumped out nonsensically. Because or for you, both possibly, or definitely. "Already? Aww." you pity, muffling your speech to render your voice into thorns of mock disappointment, but in reality, you just quickened your humps. Shown audibly in the squeaks of her bed frame squawking under your combined weights.

Two splotchy flowerbeds of crimson brim at her asscheeks, owing to how intense this had began and trickled into. Hmm, could make it redder if we so wished.

Wish it is.

Quietude holds, and relents in a hard snap; a sting pricks the entirety of your palm crashing down on her butt, watching as the gentle red gains a series of richer rays and hearing the result of said slap punching through her larynx.

"Ughnn!"

Continuing: you slap once, slap twice, times it by thrice, and drive her into a quiver, procuring those wails that have your goosebumps downright rigid as the earth.

"Uh— uh— agh!"

Retiring your hands thriven of ache, they find oasis curving in the shape of her waist. "So good, isn't it Els? Can tell by how loud you're being, my sloppy girl." praised you, silkily sweet upon the lacy edge of slamming your cockhead rough on her walls.

"Yes, yessh. Make me shl— make me.. fuck— make m'your sloppy girl.." past her grace, is a side long since cowered. It's like you molded her brain to abruptly covet the feeling spurting inside her pelvis. From her spine, unto her clit, a ticklish string invokes its fray, flitting her eyes to darker heavens within her skull.

You coast your knees further up until they parked aside her hips, slanting your groin so you could plunge her wider and deeper, ending up with a draw of lubrication landsliding out. Sheer size alone— she's spread her on your strap thickly enough to stimulate certain sweet spots, and god can you tell when you do hit them. Resistance punts the strap base viciously back, dragging a yelp from your lungs. All the squelches coming from her two holes, egged you to an insatiable fucking. Arousal scorched the curves of your cheeks, in love with that sound, infatuated with her pussy, her ass, how ace of a learner she is.

Ellie's calves give upon sensation and hurtle up, rotating her ankle downwards and pushing cinched toes smushed on your bouncing hind— because that infamous pinch now consumes her fattened clit, riding her sleek-glistened fingers doggishly to pursue that heavenly itch. An oncoming recital of whines and growls coats her timbre, "Baby, uhh— babe— m'gonna cum now, dammit.. 'cum all over you— yeah." pleading for you to hasten up in buggy nudges of her heel, butting your ass.

"Oh yeah?" you swirl muse, arching your thumb into the arch her spine slowly welds into, swooning when her head lies atop her ear and a suffused, smiling expression meets your behold.

"Mhm, hmph!" a hitched gulp interrupts her, "You're too fuckin'— mhh, too fuckin good at t-this." inching into a cocky laugh for a blink in time, then swallows it returned to a screw of overwhelm in her facial muscles. She snakes her free paw under yours set on her waist, collecting it and dragging you to grope a handful of her breast, erect nipples flicking stripes due to your humps jostling her.

Weepy eyes bordered by remnants of her past tears cried inflict a bridge between pride and more praise into the pleasure points of your body, and you had no clue before this that she cried. It felt.. gratifying, seeing freckled flesh resemble pebbled waters in spring, ribbons of light warping along her cheeks.

"Those tears for me?" even so, you lower your lips and lap the pellucid stain up, puckering a smooch in its wake.

But you keep ramming a flood out.

The nod she bobs is swift, swifter than her gullet will ever deliver in this state— nor could now, a contort bolting her face inwards subsequent to a mouse-pitched moan leaving the luring lips of your lover bearing pressure into squirting her orgasm all over you, "Oh fuck! Fuck!" she keens and cants her ass on you, jerking swipes over her clit wildly to fufill the ecstasy piping through her pussy. A timid and weak spray noises below— and then came the webs of liquid pearls cascading around her clit, connecting to her fingerprints as she delicately taps the beady bud.

She got thrashy, and clenched your cock in, having bitten off more than she could chew— and it thrilled your cunt to know that; fire catches, and so does the knot twisting your insides. Relish leaves your mouth as you finish base-deep in your girlfriend, imposing her to your skin-bulged grip of her soft breast melting into your palm lines as you cum, "Ohh, yes baby— good girl, good girl.. fuckk." imprinting her mind with how good that felt in your every reaction, forcing that fervor into her existence.

"I fuckin' love you, babe, I love you so fuckin' muh— yes yes yes.." Ellie reciprocates passion received, unto passion given; parting her muck sweat face from the bed and sundering that space in front of yours, suckling your bottom lip into your mouth and sharing the excess teardrops streaked upon her top lips, unlocking to simply just— breathe onto your mouth, straining the last of her orgasm in gradually dwindling moans.

One last peck at her lips charged by a high, you both temper your elation strewn throughout and become aware of the loss for air in your lungs, inhaling the scent of each other done up in exertion. The stillness sustains for a bit, kind of just drunkenly staring 'till one of you broke into a lopsided smirk— no doubt Ellie, and you just had to mingle lips again. So, you slide out carefully with the expected threads of lube following after, and you roam your damp palms away from her ass and chest and branch them on either side of her clammy waist. Her contagious giggles inspire you to mirror the same sounds as you slink behind her and spoon her, smushing the ball of your nose into her hot nape reeking of sweat.

"Was that everything you imagined— or a pain in the ass?" quiped you, quick rolling kisses on her skin, specks of your spit smearing.

Cringe compels her to split lips from you, chuckling, "Really? Right now?" a row of notches digging between her brows, and a shuffle of her legs rub at the filthy wetness layering her groin, "You've got to be kidding me."

"So it was a pain?"

All you get as a response is her shoulder blades swelling as she breathes in, and shies her face away, giving you the hair-in-your-face treatment. "Guess.. after that, 'could go for a couple snacks. I'm hungry."

You squint, "By snacks, do you mean your two-course aftersex meal?" retorting.

"Yeah! That's like, the best thing to do right after." and, her enthusiastic claim isn't all that spoiled. Ellie commonly does it, and she fucking loves it. Hot meals under some wacky or heartfelt discussion, sometimes checking in on the other person, sometimes asking how they felt— but this time, confessions would stay an enigmatic afterthought to ponder about, as really, she fucking loved what you did to her. But that's— forward. Give her a couple days and a couple hours toppled above the usual hour she knocks slumped into somnolence, and she'll admit that. Sappy sweet on the lobe of your ear, indifferent on whether you're wide awake to overhear or not.

"You felt good, uh, by the way. It hurt at first, but, I think my butt's healed from the trauma. Chair isn't uncomfortable to sit in anymore, hmph. Love you, don't ask me about it in the morning. I'll pretend you don't exist. Night, babe."

Something tells me she wants you to do it again.

[huckleberrykai]

hueningkai ~ toaster strudel

pairing: kai x fem!reader summary: kai just wants to frost his favourite pastry before he eats it genre: v fluffy smut, kinda crack vibes too idk warnings: smut obvs, 18+ only minors dni, petnames, fem-bodied reader, penetrative sex, unprotected (don't do that), cunnilingus, cum lol, a few swear words ? this is also the first smut thingy im actually posting so ,, if its bad sorry 🤩 word count: 0.8k click here for my masterlist! THANK U @1004tyun for feeding my thoughts on this >.<

"fuck.. 'm gonna cum pretty," kai whispered into your ear, your leg slung over his shoulder haphazardly as he pushed deeper into you. "me too- ah! kai.."

he thumbed at your clit as he fucked you into the mattress, his pillows looking like a halo around your head~ his pretty angel. "cum with me baby," he breathed out, speeding up his fingers, toying with you and keeping a steady rhythm, fucking you hard and deep.

it didn't take long for the knot in your stomach to snap, and he relished in your cute whines as you rode out your high. he held on for as long as he could while you came, but he could only last so long when you looked so pretty beneath him~

"so cute- ah, shit.." he muttered as he pulled out. he pumped himself a few times as he looked at your fucked out face, sprawled against his bedding as he let your leg drop off his broad shoulder and onto the bed with a thud.

with a sweet whine he released hot, thick ropes of cum onto your tummy - groaning when you gave him a loving smile, glossy eyes staring at him like he was the only thing in the world.

when he finished, your tummy was covered in thick white cum ~ he usually came a lot after all.

he looked away from your cute tummy and back up to your eyes, offering you a big grin as he flopped next to you for a breather. "i love you," he told you sincerely with a kiss. you mumbled out a muffled 'love you too' against his lips as he held your jaw.

"y'know..." he started, sitting back up on his hands, raking over your body with his eyes - still painted with his cum. "you look kinda like a toaster strudel right now," he admitted with a goofy laugh. you scowled at him playfully, but that only made him dolphin laugh harder. "shut uppp," you groaned, covering your face with your hands.

"nuh uh, no no no," kai grabbed your hands, moving them back to your sides, slinging his leg over you and hovering over you. "don't hide, my pretty pastry."

now that one made you chuckle.

"kai!" you couldn't help but laugh as he brought his face close to yours, peppering kisses over your cheeks and trailing them down the centre of your neck, then all over your breasts, avoiding the puddle of his seed on your abdomen. "aw my little toaster strudel.. you're so tasty," he teased. "all messy for me."

your breath became shaky as he massaged your thighs gently. he'd be lying if he said he wasn't turned on at the sight of you covered in cum, and he'd take whatever you'd let him have. "you think i can have my dessert now? hm?"

as silly as he was being, his eyes were full of lust as he began pressing butterfly kisses all over your closed thighs, waiting for your approval. "okay greedy~"

it didn't even take him a second to push your thighs apart and nestle his tongue in your pussy, nudging his nose against your clit, still sensitive from earlier. his haste earned him a gasp, escaping from your pretty lips before he could stop it - which only egged him on further.

he moved up a little to suck on your puffy clit, and giggled at the moan you let out with a mumble of his name. he stopped sucking and buried his face against you.

"nom nom nom~" he joked, almost immediately laughing at himself.

you had to laugh at him, and an awkward chuckle mixed with a moan left your throat as he teased your entrance with his fingers. "my tasty treat, all for me~" he laughs calmed a little, and he attached his lips to your sensitive nub once again as he pushed two thick fingers into you.

soon enough the knot in your stomach began to tighten again as he picked up his pace. your fingers found themselves wound into his fluffy hair and a small, "hyuka.." left your lips - and as if he could sense how close you were he whispered, "come on baby, give me my dessert... cum for me, please. wanna make you feel good~ my little afternoon snack."

just as he said, you came undone on his tongue, biting back another laugh. he couldn't be serious for too long, it was kai after all. he pulled out his fingers and ate you out like you were his last meal, lapping up every last drop you released. "so tasty.. my tasty pastry."

"oh so you're rhyming now too?"

he hummed, moving back up to hover his face over yours again, lips shiny and eyes glazed - the biggest grin on his face. he nodded cheekily ~

"by the way.. they also say snacks taste better in the shower."

"kai nobody has ever said that. wouldn't the snack get soggy?" you teased, tilting your head and playing confused - the shit-eating grin on your face giving you away. he rolled his eyes and grabbed your hands, pulling you up.

"i'm out of pastry puns, shut up and come take a shower with me."

[zarirawrie]

My intro ! :3

HIIII obvi you've seen my sillay post, but obvs thats not how I thought I would make friends.. anyway heres an intro from your truly !! :3

My name : kenzaria ( ken-za-ri-uh)

nicknames : kenny, kenken, baba, ria, riri, zari, zariri, kera. ( or you can calll me.. mommy alpha, little omega, ekitten, daddy omega. /jjjjjj)

age : 13-15

prns : tbh idc what u call me, as long as its not like xie/xer.. idek how to pronounce that..

hobbies : volleyball, writing, watching tv, listening to music, texting my ekittens.. /hj

interest : kpop, anime, haikyuu, soobin, defo not cooking, writing stories, sometimes drawing, making characters, other things..

likes : sleeping, kpop, txt, tws, soobin, haikyuu, CSM I LOVE CSM PLS FOLLOW ME NOW IF U LIKE CSM, jjk ( dni jjk stans im scared of you guys) calling people baby, laughing, i love my humor if you have my humor we can be bffs forever, music i love music chat hmu, women. ( pretty self explanator)

dislikes : emo omegas, people who can't take a joke, kpop antis, football players (honestly just men in gen) boy group antis, meanies, soccor, mahito from jjk ( i hope his feet get cut off) stupid people.

reasons why you should bmf : im literally so funny... i have every app in the app store we can talk on.. ( snap, insta, tumblr, guilded, discord, imsg, whatsapp, roblox plz) i need someone to rant too im literally begging at this point. you can be my main alpha.. smirks. IM NOT A WEIRDO I REPREAT I AM NOT A WERIDO.

dni : sukana and mahito stans, ybc enjoyers, that bf webtoon enjoyers, gangmemebrs, haikyuu haters, people who ACTUALLY call suga : sugamama, hinata : innocent baby, tsukishima : salty beanpole, etc. MHA STANS. I DISLIKE YALL DNI!!!!! girlgroup stans.. i dont have the physical time for u fools.. WELL THATS IT!!!!!!!!

plz be my fwiend >_< we can be da best duo eva!!!!! xoxo

[v-anrouge]

Hello! 👋 I’m a lurker 🙈

I love Rook too obvi (I mean.. I’m here 🤣) and the other person trauma dumping was.. uh yeah. That was a lot… 😶

But they also said they were autistic, so maybe they just legit didn’t realize you were joking? Maybe they aren’t a follower? Idk. 🤷

Like I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt because they seemed like one of those people wandering into the wrong classroom like “wait this.. isn’t my homeroom?”

Also you said you have Rook haters DNI interact on your card… but ima be honest. Please don’t hate me. I actually took a legit second to find your card in your pinned post because the text and the link is so smol. 😩 But also I’m blind and dumb sometimes so like don’t mind me too much…

But I DID find it!!! But then I couldn’t find where it said Rook haters DNI. I’m on mobile so maybe there’s a different section that it’s not letting me see??? Maybe THAT’S what happened to them too?

ANYWAY!! I may be a lurker and am just popping up for this so I’m going back down to lurking (aaaa social anxietyyyy) but I love your various posts. I honestly thought that post in question was really funny before all the drama started 😅

Rook going off on long tangents about his much-loved hyperfixations and having time blindness is so relatable help 😭😭😭

Hi nonnie first thank you for warning me about the problems w my carrd! I think ill just make a text and put the link there on pinned then in hopes it will make it easier to see. About the carrd itself i made it on mobile so you're seeing it correctly i just noticed though that a part of my dni is missing, i probaly deleted it accidentally last time i was fixing it so oops that's embarrassing 😭 but to answer they were a follower, they're no longer one because i softblocked and the reason i was so shocked was not because they don't hc rook as autistic since obv it's just a comfort hc i have as someone who also is autistic, but how they said rook was PURPOSELY ignoring social cues like😭😭 that part caught me SO off guard especially as someone who deeply relates to rook, ive had ppl do the same thing to me say that i was just purposely being weird despite knowing i had a difficult time telling what is and what isnt acceptable to say so i simply don't feel comfortable with them in my blog anymore, that trauma dump they had already made me a bit icky but i thought okay maybe they're just joking? because the post i made was clearly joking but clearly they were not (they said it themselves) and rook is one of my ultimate faves and i cant tolerate to see him get mischaracterized, especially not in such extreme manners so yeah they're not coming back but anyways thank you so much for warning me about the pinned thing ill fix it pls tell me if its better for you!

[ryuseiphilia]

my issue(s) with the kpop community

(ignore the image i tried to make this aesthetic but this whole post is me complaining so my dearest apologies)

ok, i KNOW i'm a kpop stan myself but can we pretty please use our noggins for their intended purpose?? obvs not targeted towards ALL stans, but some of y'all jump the the wildest of conclusions very quickly.

one of the things that truly baffled me at first sight was that some internet dwellers decided to sit on zb1's gunwook for eating strawberries. literal fruits. i get it, it was nawt bro's cake but cut my homie some slack!! if the other members felt shit that he devoured eleven strawberries then they probably would've expressed that by now. i don't think zb1 wants some little internet pussies to convey their emotions for them.

another thing that got me bewildered was the whole eruption after the taeil from nct announcement. like, this paragraph is not defending that man by the slightest... however why are some of these people coming on here being like "i feel so bad for taeil stans..." and "omg ppl that spent money on taeil must be in pain :(("... girl... what about the victims??? what about the people that were actually violated??? you're saying you're sorry for someone that spent a flabbergasting amount of money on a male idol instead of firstly expressing condolences for the victims?? like, yeah, i DO feel bad for people that have spent money on taeil's merchandise... but girl there are worse things happening right now. the world isn't going to collapse because you didn't burn your taeil photocards. instead, you should try validate the real victims by not discussing such unnecessary things.

the whole seunghan thing genuinely made my jaw unhinge and drop several feet below because GIRL... people dancing casually after sending hundreds of FUNERAL WREATHS (with death threats on them) is actually batshit crazy. no, because.... mans came back just to instantly be pushed away. what? because you k-netizens couldn't handle the fact he had a life before debut and that he, i dunno, is a human??? parasocial ahh because GIRRRRRRRRRLLLLLL. yk i want to be an idol (my ass has NOT auditioned yet) but it's things like this that stop me from wanting to become one. if my twitter, instagram, tiktok, all that jazz resurfaced as an idol and especially during debut... i'd sob because people will over-analyse it all. like, just because seunghan did this does not make him horrible now!!! i know the smoking was slightly more controversial because it's unhealthy, but dating?? DATING??? i was genuinely baffled beyond my utmost belief at the sheer SHOCK. the photos.... people on weverse setting the photos as their pfps, people on twitter posting 'reminders' with the photos... why dod they have those saved??? it's not only obsessive, but kind of parasocial that you're acting like you got wrongingly cheated on by a guy who doesn't even know who you are. i really hope our GOAT seunghan comes back as a soloist or something (hopefully under good management too) because he, everything aside, spent a lot of time training to be an idol just for this to happen.

also not directly a certain idol but why do we, as kpop stans, care about an idols weight and appearance so much?? i know majority of stans are normal and not weird af but there's a minority that actually put their little nerd glasses on and their fingers up that complain like "omg (insert female idol) lowkey lookin big back these days) LIKE HUHHH??? girl please weigh yourself and tell us the result before calling someone fat. especially a random celebrity of all people. all jokes aside, i'm sure the person criticizing an idols weight would feel quite stink if someone did the same to them. so just, uh, dont??? also people that complain when idols dye their hair something different because they like a certain color on that idol are genuinely crazy. like, take a step back and relax. because.... wdym you're having cardiac arrest just because your fave left their blonde era...... i think we as fans shouldn't be so focused on the little things and just enjoy the art!! the music!! the dance!! yes, appearance comes along with it, but it isn't like their stylist is going to make them look like that ratatouille rat....

N E WAYZ if you've read this much already i really applaud you and hope you have a WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERRRRRFUL day for putting up with this yapping for a whole post. my complaints might not be as many or as long as they should be, but i'm simply venting my utter frustration as best i can without getting banned off of every platform i have. so yeah. follow me for more hit posts like this one 🤫🥶😈

[a-somewhat-original-pt-askblog]

uhh read this if you're new here ig

hi chat 😁 im Kevin, i use he/him, im 19, im like a raccoon in the garage, and im the owner of this blog!!!! Really quick im gonna give you guys a basic summary and like. rules n stuff, ya know the drill

firstly, if you're as normal about Pizza Tower as i, you've come to the right place. this is an askblog centered around... you'd be surprised to hear this, but an au that's, on the surface, almost the same as canon Pizza Tower! lemme rq tell you what's different from canon so you aren't confused:

There's obv gonna be ocs sprinkled in here, including my self insert

Every food creature is human.

..... EXCEPT for Pizzahead cuz i couldn't be arsed to make a human design for him. plus it's funny methinks

This takes place in modern day, for those who hc PT to take place during an earlier time frame

This also takes place AFTER the events of Peppino% (that's what im calling it, fuck you)

thas about it. for now.

Another thing to note: a lotta things about this au are crack taken seriously and i AM making some of this shit up as I go along. If there's any details that are inconsistent, let me know PLEASEE

*cough* as per usual with every askblog, there come rules. im not that strict but still, take precaution

don't be a jackass. like, don't just harass me or other people for my hcs and such. remember, cringe culture is dead

yes im an adult, HOWEVER i will not be answering explicitly sexual questions. Casual talk and jokes are a-okay though, just don't take it too far

please please pleas try to make sure your question relates to pizza tower or the ocs involved. if you ask me about a completely unrelated fandom, for example, i'll just ignore ya.

Im perfectly cool with roleplaying!! again, don't be a jackass and try to be respectful of my boundaries, there's some things in rp that I myself might be uncomfy with

and ofc have fun!!!!!!

Oh and yes, i did mention ocs. HOWEVER I'll make references for them (and any PT characters if i feel like it) once they become relevant. for now im accepting asks for only the PT characters. but uhm yeah, ty for taking the time to read through this massive fuckign post and uh yeah I can't wait to answer your queries ‼️‼️

one more tiny thing: i made this blog a "blog" instead of its own entirely separate blog bcuz i just didn't FEEL like it

[sobeksewerrat]

☆~~Elvina The Cock-Kicker~~☆

prolly gonna update or change this later (updated: 25/5/24 [d/m/y])

Uh, hello! Name's Elvina (I also go by AnDrew/AnDrea! And Argo aswell, but you need permission from me to use that one), but you can call me whatever lol

(There is also Eara'as, but who cares-)

Update on 24/2/24: Fuck it I am naming myself Adam too. Yes, after the guy from Hazbin. Sue me. It is one of my favourite names now.

-> لو انت بتكلم عربي و عايز تكلمني بيه ممكن تقلي ربيع او مروان برده!!

I'm an amateur artist and writer; currently trying to graduate as soon as humanly possible (and high school has been kicking my ass)

My tagline is "kinda bored ngl"; seriously it's been in the bio of every social media account I have ever owned since 2019 at some point or another it's actually insane, WHY AM I SO BORED?!?

this intro post pretty much only looks good with the "Vampire" theme, if you don't have that, then it sucks to suck, i guess.

BEFORE YOU INTERACT!!

☆I have a full Rules post but these are some others not included in that or TL;DRs.

-> I block very liberally, but I never just randomly block a mutual (unless it is a joke like in the freakblr war or they did sth horrible). I have severe anxiety so I tend to just block anybody who I feel is aggressive (intentionally or otherwise) or weirds me out.

-> I have a really broken sense of humour and I post a lot about inside jokes and stuff with my mutuals. I know I can't stop you, but if we're not mutuals or you're not involved in whatever inside joke I am talking about please dni with the posts. Once a joke of mine blew up and I deleted the original post and made my friends delete their rbs so people would stop seeing it.

-> I tend to forget to tag TWs properly. If I forget to tag sth, please inform me!!

Fandoms:

Special Interest (persumably): The Music Freaks

Hyperfixations: Ace Attorney, Luca(2021), The Stanley Parable, Story Thieves, Scott Pilgrim , Hazbin Hotel , Avatar: The Last Airbender

Danganronpa V3 [yes, V3 specifically.I don't interact with the fandom much]

Mark and Friends/The World of Mr.Plant

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Blue's Story (Victaton)

Big Hero 6

DDLC

Diary of A Wimpy Kid (mainly the Dysfunctional Perspective fancomic)

Al Kabeer (not a fandom technically but who cares)

Sonic

Jackson's Diary

Aurora (red osp)

Riordanverse (including KC and MCGA)

Unfamiliar (Lavendertowne)

FNAF

Omori

Helluva Boss

Obey Me!

Ramshackle

Buncha other stuff that I am too lazy to name (might edit as i post about them)

Fandom Stuff to Tag Me In!!

My Kins!!

Random Bullshit:

Egyptian

fav colour is red

Professional Faggot since 2018 (legally)

Aro/Ace (achillean)

Agender / Aboy (transmasc, pronouns: he/him)

Basically just your local pathetic trans boy with mommy AND daddy issues (the whole package!)

INFP

Born in spooky month, loves spooky month

OCD, ADHD, self-diagnosed Autism

Biochemistry nerd. I didn't mean to be one but there was just something very intruiging about toxicology. Blame Lavendertowne.

Massive multi-shipper (also i like crackships, A LOT)

Coffee, vimto and soda addict (blame cockitchy ouma)

Fav. fictional chr. of all time: ✨Manfred von Karma✨(PW:AA)

Drew and Milly kinnie (TMF)

I am Drew irl, all I say about him is canon, I even run the rp blog, don't question me

✨✨✨LEADER OF THE ANTI-DARK REUNION✨✨✨

Menace to society, according to all of my irl friends, and just people who know me (just ask my freakblr mutuals, they'll tell you).

Minor, obv.

Never truly grew out of my Gacha phase

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Artfol: sobeksewerrat (not super active there lol)

Wattpad: ElvinaHS

AO3: sobeksewerrat

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Have a great day/ night!!

Your favourite god,

Sober Skewart 🐊🍻

[hiddengenshinfan]

Okie I don’t know why this happened and how but I finished the prologue for that literal prequel fanfic I talked about. I’ll post it soon once I make some artwork for it, artwork makes me happy when it comes too stuff like this. Also in that prologue in hindsight there is very little talking just actions and thoughts I slammed two characters who only talk if they really need too together resulting in them only interacting truly in the end.

Also uh this is a joke that might make more sense later but in this fanfic the Traveler sorta has ptsd from Rhodia(The Oceanaid obvs). Also I will work on ‘Furina’s’ side a bit later.

[inverse-problem]

lmao can't believe I forgot that people will just take jokes to their obvious conclusion here and also that not everyone is used to just being able to walk 2 minutes from where they live and stand beside an active construction site (this is re: my robot sex construction site joke post lol). I mean obv lots of people are also joking but I sure hope people don't think I'm literally recommending people to just wander onto a random construction site. because uh, don't do that. stay outside the barricades, they're up there for a reason

for context there's so much construction where I live that I walk right beside at least 2 active construction sites on my way to work. because I live in a densely built-up city area, it's literally impossible to avoid. obviously I stay outside the barricades and I do not linger if they're doing something loud because I value my hearing. but sometimes I get to see cool shit like when they use an excavator with a drill attachment, or when a crane lifts something big up onto a skyscraper, or when there's a huge hole in the ground, etc. it's cool when you gradually see a building go up in a place you pass by regularly and then suddenly there's just a building there. that catches me by surprise sometimes

there was one year where I was woken up every weekday at 7 am by the noise of reversing trucks and the like because there was a large active construction site directly beside where I lived. now for a few years there's been a construction site directly beside where I live, but thankfully on a different side of the block, so at least that one isn't audible to me when it would be bothersome lol. so anyway I guess what I'm saying is if you want to hear construction noise then try to visit your nearest moderately-large or larger city (if there's one in your area) because then you can walk by plenty of construction sites (safely outside of whatever barricades they've set up, for fuck's sake). or just watch some videos online

[323398149]

Hey besties. Another happy vibes post I guess. More like major life moment has been going on slash being prepped for and I haven't been able to process it properly and then I realized yknow what I gotta just journal it out bro that's the only way anything ever comes together for me.

So

Hello future old amms.

Three weeks ago your healthy parents booked an umrah trip for you and your sister. And you guys didn't even have passports yet so that was step one. And you went and got your photos. Oh wait gotta add detail you were at the gym about to do a madfit app upper body workout when ur mom called to congratulate you and then I was like uh can I get my pictures today and go tmr? And she was like sure anyways you went to the office near the peo office gah and yeah went to pick them up in the subway a week later. And yeah then you read an umrah prep book and made notes and then you've been shopping for necessities and coaching Fatima zohra twice a week. So that's pretty much been ur life. Also you went to your first Patel cousins potlock dinner and humairaa took you guys out for dinner last weekend. So that's pretty much been what's up.

So what that means is you stopped applying to jobs, you stopped going to the gym, and you honestly haven't got as far as you'd like to have with your knowledge prep. You've been listening to an audio discussion of sealed nectar tho so that feels good oh and you purchased your first ever own Quran!

Anyways you've also reflected a lot a lot on the past year and how much you've changed since 22. Your physical appearance has changed a LOT! lol you're way stronger looooool like not to say you're strong but just strongER than you were before which was random pains. OH SIDE NOTE you also cleaned the basement donation pile. And your hair is way shorter, you eat proper meals and you're less tired cause you get to sleep in all the time. You smile and laugh and are a person with a personality who reads books and makes jokes. You're alive. And you're so grown up lol.

Your friends tell you you're more calm. Oh I ALSO spent one day with zaibaa at her classes for her big kid engineering school and that was so dope and inspiring. Gaaah that's a whole other excitement to talk about. So yeah it's been an eventful start to the year.

Anyways back to the topic. A year ago you got sick and in the moment before you passed out you called out to your mom to alert her that something was wrong and as you were dropping and everything felt far away, you thought "thank goodness I didn't do the haram thing that was dangling infront of me 2 months ago" lol and in the hours after I realized like shit, I'm so grateful that it was that thought instead of one of fear of death and regret. Like yes obvs those were still there but there was a relief. And honestly that wasnt me, that was allah that stopped me and protected me from myself and from jahanam yknow? Anyways which started you on a slow crawl journey back to your faith, a reversal of like 3 years of pulling away. Idk maybe the journey has already started and halted before that but yeah. It's been such a slow crawl which means I still feel so behind where I'd like to be but I still love being able to look back and see that there HAS been progress.

So yeah a year ago I had told me classmate that my parents wanted us to go to umrah in may after exams but no way I wasnt ready or mature enough or at that place in life and I was gonna tell them that I didnt want to go. And here I am, terrified and not at all feeling ready yet still excited kinda. So that's the thing and what I want to say. Like I haven't really let myself get excited because idk I lowkey feel so undeserving loool. But yeah I guess now I need to put myself into that excitement because I need to prepare my soul for this big life moment that's happening and now it's really here and it's happening loooooool if that makes sense idk.

The main thing for me is working on forgiveness and like letting go of grudges and hard feelings. I lowkey dont even know how to gah but imma google it and figure it out tmr morning and then just work my way through everyone I know and like let shit go in my heart.

Honestly even a few weeks ago I couldn't imagine myself even WANTING to do that looool rip but anyways now thinking about it I'm like damn that acc sound kinda nice and like I'll be lighter. I'm looking forward to letting go now which idk if you know me loool idk that hasnt been my vibe in the past. So yeah I'm excited. I hope it all works out. By it all I mean everything. This trip, getting a job, starting a life, dying, the afterlife loooool I hope it all works out haha

[versadies]

of course i have to req cancer for diluc and libra for kaeya pls!! hcs are fine <33

white lie (hc + scenario)

penpal: here’s your request for kaeya !! if you haven’t seen diluc’s post, you can check it out here <3

prompt: libra the scale, lie-tattoo soulmate au

sypnosis: ignorance is a bliss. (or, hc on what it's like for you to hang out with kaeya knowing that he's your soulmate, with him not being aware of that fact.)

include/s: lying (obv), fluff, reader trying to avoid kaeya and cant keep a secret lol

-> your heart sank when you found out that kaeya is your soulmate.

-> if there's anything that you would know about the calvary captain, it's the fact that he never wants to do anything with his soulmate at all, as he said so himself whenever one becomes curious and questions about his opinion on soulmates.

-> is celestia playing a cruel joke?

-> you didn't know exactly what to do. should you tell him? keep your mouth shut and never talk to kaeya about soulmates forever? or should you hint at him that you're his soulmate?

-> you overthink about it for a while, thinking of ways on how kaeya would react.

-> you then decided to keep silent about it and start avoiding him, not wanting to accidentally spill the truth and possibly ruin your friendship. it wasn't hard to avoid the calvary captain, given that you're a blacksmith and can busy yourself making weapons in your home for your customers. not to mention the fact that you can just avoid the tavern to not see him.

-> unnoticed by you, he did not like what you're doing one bit.

-> kaeya will immediately notice your lack of visits to the tavern on the first night. why wouldn't he? you're one of his favorite drinking buddy, after all.

-> he didn't like how boring it is, yet he continues to drink more of death after noon, not bothering to check up on you.

-> the next few days, kaeya decided to do his usual routine in the tavern before you came around: gossiping with the city folk, have a drink with hunters and bandits alike, and of course, drink his favorite alcohol throughout the night.

-> while this was happening, you got irritated with tattoos forming on your body– the itching feeling made you want to confront the sly captain and cover his lying mouth.

-> it took two weeks for you and kaeya to meet again.

-> it was the traveler's birthday and everyone agreed to celebrate it in the tavern, with you being invited. although you're glad to celebrate with one of your dearest friends, you couldn't help but worry about kaeya.

-> oh well, it's not like he'll talk to you for one night, right?

-> you sat somewhere far away from the crowd, watching as everyone gathers around the honorary knight and celebrate with him in amusement as you take a sip of your drink.

-> you glance at where kaeya is, only to see him conversing with rosaria quietly. you felt relieved that the man didn't bother coming up to you, giving you some peace and quiet.

-> except the fact that you're having overwhelming thoughts.

-> every movement kaeya makes, you wanted to just rush to the exit and never come back, afraid that he'll try to confront you into saying something you might regret.

-> you then eye on the door, your leg bouncing anxiously. why does it feel like time is going so slow?

"hey," you flinch in surprise from kaeya's sudden presence, looking at the calvary captain in shocked.

without a word from you, you immediately stood up from your seat and try to head to the door, only to be stopped by kaeya calling you out again. "why leaving so soon? you only just arrived at the traveler's party, you know?" he asks loudly for everyone around you to here, causing you to wince.

"i just want to be alone for a while." you said, making sure that whatever you're saying isn't a lie in fear that he'll catch on.

"oh, is that so?" lisa chimes, concerned laced in her expression. "i'm sure you can go upstairs. you can come back down when you're okay enough, alright?"

you smile gratefully at lisa. "i will. thank you, lisa."

you then gave kaeya a glance before walking towards the stairs. although you weren't able to go outside, you were fine with not being able to be with the calvary captain.

as you sat down on your seat, you sigh in relief. now that you're alone, you started to think about how you will be able to avoid him for the entire night.

however, before you could relax for just a minute, you immediately heard the sounds of familiar footsteps, followed by the sight of kaeya walking pass by you and to the chair across from yours.

"so," your eyes widens in surprise when you heard his voice, watching him sit down and cross his arms. "care to tell me what's going on? you know i don't bite."

great.

"how the hell did you get here?" you ask, furrowing your eyebrows in surprise.

he shrugs. "i have my ways. now, care to enlighten me?"

you thought for a moment, looking away from the man's gaze. "i was busy so... i don't exactly have much time." you explained.

"yet here you are."

you roll your eyes. "oh, i didn't know i'm not welcomed here."

kaeya laughs, shaking his head. "of course you are welcomed. you just... look so suspicious whenever you keep on glancing at the door. i'm sure some would agree with me if they were here." he points out

"well i just.. want to get out of here."

"from what?"

"i can't tell you that." you said. "besides, it's not like you're that interested–"

"try me." he says, standing up with a smirk. "you and i are friends aren't we?"

you stayed silent, your face slowly dropping. from that reaction alone, kaeya knew something was amiss. just what is it that makes you so tense? he wondered, thinking of what to do to make you speak your mind out.

while he waits for you to speak, your mind is going out of place. what should you say? you can't risk giving yourself away by telling a lie, not when you obviously know that he'll receive those words on his body. what else could you do other than standing there speechless?

you then took a deep breath, looking up at kaeya with a frown. "i'm your soulmate."

the two of you stayed silent, the sounds of the party downstairs was undeniably loud for you now. "if you don't believe me, i can tell you a lie." you said.

he continues to be quiet, cueing you to continue. "i uh, i'm a knight?”

you watched as kaeya looks down at his arm, noticing a tattoo appearing on his skin with the same words you said to him just now.

he then sighs and walk towards your direction, causing your heart to sank when he passes to you without another word.

you slowly look behind to see him, watching him head towards the stairs with a sad look on your face.

before he joins back the party, he looks at you with a small grin.

"i'll be waiting for you by the tavern tomorrow night for our date."