#hyuka x reader

[hyukascampfire]

𝑯EART 𝑊ORM ⸺ hueningkai ℘˒´ˎ˗

  ⨾𓍢ִ໋ ˒˒ 𝚑𝔢art𝚠𝔬rm

[𝑛]. a relationship or friendship that you can't get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

⸺ listen to the playlist .ᐟ ‧˚

〝﹙ 📼 ﹚“I was just... wondering,” you say, blood roaring. "Well, Yeonjun wants me to come over to his place this weekend, and... I’ve never...” Sucking in a quick breath, you just spit it out to get it over with, “Would you be my first kiss, Kai?”  ˛ ､､

wc ➛ 17.9k

𝔭airings childhood bsf!kai x reader (lowkey soulmates?) ⤷ ft. asshole!yeonjun x reader

𝒢 ‎; smut ˒ angst ˒ some fantasy

𝔴arnings angst, family issues, fingering, jealousy (i’m sorry i just love ts), yeonjun really is an asshole, orgasm denial, thigh fucking, unprotected sex (they're stupid!), strength kink a lil bit, breeding kink, possessiveness, creampie, choking... i think that's all, lmk if i missed any

✎୭ ashlynn's note omg. this was such a fun palate cleanser to write. this wasn't supposed to be as big as it is, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger, and i got super into the story. this kai is SOOOO!! yeah. i’m so nervous posting this because i’ve only ever posted TSFAWC, but…. here you areee (^^;; this is not proofread, so if you see a mistake... give me a sec. i'll get to it. hehe

Though you fan your hand furiously over your face, the little breezes washing over your clammy skin are not enough. The air is thick and heavy with summer’s heat. So thick that you almost feel it each time you swallow. It’s better than just letting yourself melt away, though. The cushion at your back doesn’t help much. It holds your warmth and returns it to you the longer you sit slumped back into it. You suffer it though—you’ve gone too sluggish to move.  

You let a leg dangle over the arm of a chair, watching a hopeful moth dance in the light of the buzzing porch light overhead. It flutters frantically in it, making a grand fight to reach that false moonlight, only to drop away when it realizes that it’s being burnt. You watch it rinse and repeat, relentless and sure, for who knows how long. It’s no special moth—no luna moth or the ones with the pretty pink wings—but the light falls down on it and colors it a pleasant stardust silver.  

You delight in letting your conscious brain turn off to watch it. It lets you forget the sweltering under your skin, and also that Kai had drug you out here. His dad gives him shit when he plays inside, but it’s way too hot to be out here. Isn’t it supposed to cool off after the sun goes down? It doesn’t feel like it. The deep acoustics are drowned out each time a car whirrs by. Playing outside should be the best option, but you and Kai live right on a busy road.  

When the roar of some car going ten miles over the speed limit doesn’t obscure his playing, though, you admire the intricacy of it. His fingers work up and down the neck, jumping frets that you imagine would be impossible to anybody without those long fingers of his. You had always been a loud supporter of his playing, even way back when the most he could play were simple chords, but you became especially so when a few years back he put a guitar in your hands and tried teaching you. Even with his fingers guiding yours, it was quick to learn that the effortlessness with which Kai handles the instrument is hard earned.  

He practices on the acoustic guitar, but that’s not his domain. With houses just a dash across the street from each other, Kai had grown up at your home more than he had at his own. So vividly, you remember the stars in his eyes when he’d listen to your dad’s music. Metallica, The Smashing Pumpkins, Linkin Park, any of it. He had fallen in love with it a long time ago. Your whole life you knew that it was only a matter of time before he was in his own band, chasing his dreams with a boundless mind and an indelible vision of himself on stage. How had that time come so soon, though? You don’t know if the notebooks full of inky lyrics that live wherever he deems inspiration might hit him make you proud or nervous. He’s making good on his dazzling aspirations, and you? 

You speak finally into the air, cutting through heat waves and his music and the night. “Isn’t it weird that we’re not going back to school after this summer?” 

He doesn’t have to even stop playing to answer you. Playing comes to him as a second nature. “Kinda,” he answers, brown eyes flitting up to you. “But it’s not like you won’t be back to it in September. College is the same shit.” 

The leg you’d been dangling and bouncing pauses. That’s right; you’re supposed to be going to that college you’d chosen because it was only a three-hour drive away from here. You pluck at the seat’s threadbare fabric, and the moth, still there, becomes oh-so-interesting once again. When his playing stops, you drop your head back with a cushioned thud and a groan that you wrangle in your throat. 

“Why are you acting like that?” he says, voice gone sharp like accusation. He doesn’t even know the truth, but he’s known you too long.

Can’t you just keep secrets for yourself, sometimes?

Kai, arms clad in a well-loved hoodie even in this dreadful weather, lays the guitar down. You maintain your silence. “Seriously, what?” 

Some secrets have timers, though. This one could only last you until about September, or even August when he realizes that you’re not preparing to return to school. A controlled sigh from your chest isn’t enough to soothe the nerves that sparks. “Nothing.” 

“Secrets, huh?” Kai says. When you do finally look to him, black spikes of hair frame his eyes and the accusation in them. 

It’s a simple poke, but it gets under your skin as sharp as any thorn might. It’s not like you don’t keep secrets from him, and you’re sure he keeps some from you too. But those are the little kinds, the inconsequential ones—like I ate already when asked why you’re not eating or like Yeah, I’m fine when it’s been a bad day. You don’t hide this kind of stuff from each other. Usually, you’d run over to his place to tell him whatever’s bothering you. Why not, when he’s known even the worst details of your life for almost the entirety of it? You’ve been holding this one close to your chest since somewhere around the end of senior year, though. The longer you let it fester, the worse your nervousness snowballs. “C’mon, Kai. Let’s not do this. Can you keep playing?” 

He doesn’t like that, of course. But you watch recognition dawn over his chocolate brown eyes, helpless to stop it. “You’re not going,” he says. It’s not a question nor a suspicion, it’s a bone-dry fact.  

Well. There that goes. You want to tear every hair on your head right out. Why had you even thought you’d keep him in the dark about it? When he’s not out in some garage making music, you two are together. The conversation was going to stroll by at some point; this was only inevitable. His disappointment radiates off him in waves and blisters you. He hasn’t even said anything yet, but you know exactly what he thinks of it. It’s why you kept it from him in the first place.  

Your silence is enough confirmation for him. “Why?” he says. “I thought you were excited to move out.” 

Wincing, you nod slowly. You were. Even went through the whole application process, along with most other kids your age. Ultimately, you never went through with declaring a college. You don’t exactly know why, but somewhere weaseled down in the shadowy recesses of your soul, you know. Taking those steps, the massive and terrifying ones from adolescence into adulthood, meant agreeing that this form of your life was over. It meant that at some point, you’d be moving away from here to where living your days away in Kai’s room would not be a choice. Everybody has to do it eventually, you know that. Kai’s music gig could take off any day, too. He’s going to make it happen. And then what? All this stalling and wishing on just a bit more time would mean nothing, he’d be off and chasing that dream. As excited as you are for it to finally become reality for him, there’s a nasty bitterness that’s budded in your chest, infecting your person.  

Can’t things just stay like this? 

“I was,” you say. It comes out of your mouth heavy.  

“Then why aren’t you going?” he says. Crickets, never seen but always heard, sing their song into the night’s darkness. “You didn’t get rejected. You’re too smart for that.” 

An ache sits heavily somewhere near the center of your chest, maybe over your heart. All those good grades, nights spent bent over a desk and AP paperwork—you’re wasting it. You shake your head. “No... just...” It’s an effort to dress your thoughts in a way that might appease him. A quiet moment stretches with your thinking before you continue, “I don’t know what I want to do.” 

He doesn’t like that, the yellow wash of the overhead light dancing over his taut lips and hard eyes. “Don’t know what you want to do?” he says, bringing his legs up onto the seat to crisscross them. He wears his favorite jeans. They’re heel-bitten and baggy enough over his legs that he can wear them around the house without any bother. “You’ve wanted to be an artist your whole life. You know exactly what you want to do.” 

Your chest only seems to ache harder. When the both of you were only young and hopeful, you both had big dreams. Kai was going to be the face of a metal band, and you were going to be an artist. A painter, potter, sculptor, even doing animation for those big companies like Dreamworks and Disney. You wanted any of it, just as long as you were doing art. You’d even promised him that you’d do the cover art for his albums with interlocked pinkies and flushed, hopeful cheeks. That passion and love wasn’t gone from you, it blazed strong in your veins. This blaze wasn’t the kind that kept you warm and excited to push forward into life, though. It had morphed into something that scalded you when you got too close or started imagining yourself pursuing its call. It’s a taunting silvery glow, no longer a guiding north star. Taunting words of family members stamped down on that hope hard. When you were little, it was said lighthearted and in passing. The older you got, though, the more serious their faces became. They wouldn’t say it outright perhaps, but you hear what they think well enough. Art is a dead-end career.  

Shifting in your seat, you tell him, “I don’t know.” 

“What do you mean?” Kai says. “There are good colleges for that.” 

“I just... don’t know.” 

Shaking his head, he tells you, “But you love it.” 

You do. In its every form, you love creating. But loving it doesn’t mean that it’s right for you, or that you should trust your future in its hands. “I think I can do it in my own time,” you say, finally pushing yourself upright from the cushion. “Don’t wanna kill the passion by doing it for a living, you know?” 

He thinks on that for a moment. “If you love it, you should do it,” he says. 

An awful frustration bubbles in your chest. Kai has always had a clear life path, the steps ahead of him set in stone and waiting for him to follow in them. It’s hard for him to see why you might not want to do the same. There’s nothing that makes you as happy as the fact that he has it all figured out, that he knows just where he’s going and that he’s so incredible at it that he doesn’t have to worry about meeting the requirements, but your path seems obscured and untrodden. Punctuating a deep, resonant sigh, you say, “It’s not that easy, Kai.” 

“If you’re not doing that, then what are you going to do? Are you just going to settle for a nine-to-five?” he says full of accusation, the tapping on his knees gone still.  

A dry laugh, you say, “Maybe I’ll marry a super rich guy and just do my art for a living. No nine-to-five.” 

His face flashes. He’d always been a bit reserved, especially around others, but he bared his emotions freely around you. You hold them dearly to your chest and made sure to do your best to make good on that trust. He says, “You’re more than some guy’s housewife.” 

Cheeks radiating in the heat, you snort. “I know, dork. I’m a rockstar’s best friend. It’s my personal favorite achievement.”  

His face sours when you reach out and pinch hard at his cheek, but he doesn’t pull away or brush you off. The skin there is warmed and clammy. Really, the two of you should go meet the cool AC inside before you suffer heat stroke. But this moment feels so nice—your shoulders feel tons lighter without something to hide. If you had it your way, things would stay like this forever. Just the two of you, sat here like you have so many times before, just taking for granted the time you’ve got together.  

His mouth opens to banter, probably something about how he’s not a rockstar yet or to get you back for calling him a dork. Wingbeat and sterling dashes about your face send the image into a blur, though. You’re a quick mess of limbs and a whipping head, as if it’ll chase the thing away from you. 

“Seriously?” Kai says. You’d climbed halfway over him, elbows digging into him and knee doing a number on his thigh. “It’s a moth. You’re not scared of moths.” 

Lingering for a few moments later to ensure the flying thing was nowhere on you or around you, you hold back a laugh before you climb off him and fix your hair with undignified tucks behind your ears. “He was in my face,” you say around a laugh, because you know it was a bit too much. Nobody likes wings in their ears and spindly legs in their face, though, and you’re in no control of what you do when anything with six legs tries and get too friendly. Even moths.  

“You just wanted me to protect you,” he says. A sarcastic, shit-eating smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.  

“Oh,” you scoff, batting your eyelashes and clasping your hands together all saccharine-sweet. “Yes, Romeo, won’t you kill that bug for me? This girl’s heart just can’t take it!” 

Kai’s nose crinkles, and the playful light twists into a glare. “Nasty.” 

“That’s how you sounded,” you say. “I only reacted accordingly.” Laughing, you kick your legs out over his lap and sprawl back out. He takes the guitar back into his hands. 

As much as you want to escape the mugginess, you’ll survive it for just a little while longer—if only with the force of an indulgent heart. The eternal moments are those you allow to linger.  

⚝⭒ 

Some things, you forget when you’re older. Maybe it’s time’s hand, eroding memories down and stuffing more in the longer you live to experience them. But also maybe because they’re the sort of things you can’t say in the adult world without a laugh in the face and a look from down their noses.  

This memory is one of those forgotten things. It’s moth-bitten and dusty, something you one day folded up in a moving box and decided to never revisit. 

You’d been down at the creek. Kai and you had spent so many summer days there. It wasn’t too far from home, just past the filbert trees and into the shallow neck of the backwoods, but there you were out of sight and free to get up to nothing good. It was a wonder your mom ever let you do it. Kai’s dad didn’t care too much where he went or what he did, but your mom dug her claws in deep. You like to think that she imagined you two would have each other, if anything ever happened. 

Usually, you’d be there holding your jeans up from the stream and Kai would be letting his jeans go dark with it. The bite of water was nice as it washed over warm skin. Fun was a simple thing to find, then. You dug your fingers into the mudbanks and tossed stones way too big to be throwing at each other, just because you two remembered how much the adults hated it when you did. Then, you’d drag tired limbs home avoiding sweetgum tree spikes that had fallen to the ground and dug splinters out from your feet.  

This day, you had been in the blackberry bushes. It was maybe late July or early August, and they’d gotten heavy on their branches. You’d waited until the smell of them, summer-warmed, was sweet and cloying in the air to pick them. With buckets in your hands, you plucked only the fattest berries from their bunches. Your fingers were stained a delightful purple and perhaps a bit thorn raw, but you didn’t mind much then. You plucked for hours, and it was dusk before you could catch it. Dinner was no doubt waiting for you back home. 

“There’s a bunch over here,” Kai had said. He reached a long boyish arm, still awkward and lanky with puberty, up high for ripe bush. You finished off picking before climbing around thick branches sticking out to take a peek. A bunch, there was. 

When you went to drop a handful of them into your bucket, Kai hissed. He’d been snagged by a vicious looking branch, those ones as thick as a finger with thorns to match and you’d warn each other tongue-in-cheek to watch out for that one. He’d worn those ridiculous shorts that day, the ones that looked half pants half shorts with how long and baggy they were, and the claws of the bush had jumped at the opportunity. At first the scrapes were white, but then red blood crawled out and down his leg.  

“Kai,” you said, some parts chiding and some parts just wondering how he’d managed that. You surveyed his leg for a bit, and then determined that he should wash his leg off in the stream. He walked there strong, but of course you noticed the hobble beneath his acting. When you squatted down into the dry grass and cupped water to wash off his leg, you laughed. 

“What?” he had said, holding the shorts up. You covered your laugh with a hand, but it erupted past your palm. You remember the glare on his face very well.  

You still laughed. “You’re stupid,” you had told him. 

“I didn’t see it,” he said. “I tripped over it because it was sticking out.” 

That time when you brought your hands to catch some water, there was a twinkle in its surface. You didn’t notice it for a second. The creek moved fast and you could see a lot of things in its reflection. When it lingered, that’s when your brows furrowed. It seemed to twirl, dancing around like alive over the stones. 

The sound of Kai’s voice remains with you. “Hey,” he had said, strong to call your attention but also wavered with uncertainty. 

When you looked up, there was silver dust dancing around you. 

It was fluffy and whorling, fine silver stardust. It’d moved weightless in the air, as though it barely existed. In the center of it were a few moths. They seemed to be made of sterling powder just as the dust was, and they glowed against dusk’s backdrop. If your memory serves you right, there had been a sweet hymn of coos from them. They beckoned you. Summer’s heat felt lighter, and so did your chest. You wondered where they had wanted you to go. 

Almost afraid that if you spoke they might have fluttered away, you whispered soft and low to Kai. “What is that?” He was stood frozen there, pant leg still scrunched up in his fist. Stardust glowed soft in his brown eyes while he took it all in, you remember. It wasn’t a scared frozen. You weren’t scared, either—rather, it was as if that lightness had found its way into the core of your being and brushed over it with mending hands. 

He whispered back, “I don’t know.” How could he have known? It was absurd. 

Those whisps had beckoned you, flowing toward the deeper woods. The soft moths, their murmuring brushing up against your ears, seemed to wait for you to follow. You remember a pull, soft tendrils wrapping themselves around your heart and the yearning it planted there.  

But there was also this reluctance, a bone-deep answering that had told you: No. You’re not ready. 

“Kai, I wanna go,” you told him. 

You didn’t even need to tell him twice. Berry buckets forgotten; the journey home was a stranger one. When your dad asked why you returned from berry picking emptier handed than you had left the house, Kai and you only shared a look. You pair kept that evening at the creek hidden so well that it became more forgotten than shared secret.  

⚝⭒ 

Once, you had been the type of girl that loved being around family. Some of your favorite days of your life were spent in this living room, T.V. roaring over bouncing conversation. Some of those nights ended in rosy cheeks and laughs, and some ended with words thrown angry like fireworks. You never knew which you’d be getting, but you endured the fear of not knowing because it was a simple love—the basic kind built with biology into you the moment your infant skin touched your mother’s. You endured it because eventually, sleep washed away the bad taste left in your mouth and you forgave them quick, sometimes quicker than you ought to, and things would go on as if it hadn’t even happened. You endured it because you could handle its burden, if only to feel the warmth you feel when it’s a good day.  

Kai was always there—his dad was hardly home, so he found family in yours. When you were younger, you’d been embarrassed he was there for caustic, spitted words and intimate fights. Now, you’re just grateful for his shoulder.  

So, yes. Once, you had loved being around your family. But things feel tenser now, nights spent all together less frequent and when they do happen, they’re tainted by a strange air. You think that this strangeness is new, but an awful worry also makes you think that it’d always been there, that you only feel it now because you’ve grown into your adult mind. A hollow ache stakes its claim in your chest, declaring that it won’t leave until you find that youthful ignorance and joy once more. You think that it might stay there forever. 

Bare feet bounding down the stairs, you make a rare appearance downstairs. The cupboard is only half open to make way for a snack raid before your mom’s voice cuts through the air. You know quickly just by the look on her face that you should’ve stayed upstairs. 

“Hey,” she says, gathering laundry into a basket. “You’ve been applying to jobs?” 

With an anxious belly, you tell her, “Yeah. A few. They’re not really, like, ideal, but I sent applications.” You don’t remember when it got hard to look into your mother’s eyes, but you can’t bring yourself to do so now.  

“Not ideal?” she says. “It’s not like you can be picky. Mcdonalds or wherever, I don’t care, you’re going to need to get a job if you’re staying here.” 

“I know. I applied,” you reiterate around a mumble. You close the cabinets, not so interested in a snack anymore. “I just... I don’t know, ma. I don’t want to do that for a living, going between those sorts of jobs.” 

Face hard and abrasive against the truth you bare, she does that awful taunting smile that makes you feel small. Stupid. “You’re not going to college, so that’s what it’s gonna be. You can’t sit up there and draw for a living. You’ve gotta get into the real world, get some real experience.”  

There’s a burst of hurt in your chest, dazzling and gnawing. She’s getting closer to saying how she really feels about your dreams out loud every day. Your face burns and so do your eyes, knot thick in your throat. “Yeah, okay. Got it,” you say, nodding. You’re at the front door before you even know it, slipping on shoes and fighting the greatest internal battle to will back tears. She’d use those against you, no doubt about it. “I’m going to Kai’s,” you throw over your shoulder.  

Whatever she barks back at you, you’re glad you don’t hear. Bells on some old Christmas decoration hung on the door that had yet to be taken down, even into summer, jingle and wash it away for you. 

Kai’s brows shoot up when he opens the door to your face crumpling. You’d done so well at damming it up, but the wall cracks and the water crashes through once you see him. If it were anybody else, you’d feel icky and attention seeking, but you’d held Kai to your chest through gut-wrenching sobs as much as he’s done it for you. Without question, he takes you into his arms, warm hand running up and down your back. The warm soothing is so familiar. You melt right into it.  

He keeps you there for a long moment. Then, his chest rumbles as he tells you, “Come on.” The walk through the AC to his bedroom is nice. Having a house like Kai’s to come to where it can just be you is nice, too. You step around the mess of clothes and scattered belongings on his floor like you have a muscle-memory roadmap of his room. Boxsprings creak and hard mattress welcome you back home. His room is dark as always, a night-dweller you call him. The array of peeling band posters plastered over walls you two had painted blue some years ago, when it’d been his favorite color, don’t help to lighten it up. He keeps a low lamplight on.  

“She never listens to me,” you say, crying gone to occasional sniffles from your chest. You rest your cheek on your bent knee. 

“I know,” he says. “But at least she cares about you. Pays attention to you.” His voice is soft and deep and right next to you. Always right next to you, there for you even when you might not appreciate it as you should.  

His dad cares too little what he does, and yours care too much. The grass is always greener on the other side, you know it. Still, you hold a fantasy where you’re able to do teenager stuff. Where you’d allow yourself to do bad things, because you weren’t so intent on painting yourself with their will. You two hold eyes for a long moment, your twinkling ones caught in that steady brown. “I just want to get away. Be my own person.” Your words are muffled in the softness of your skin. 

“You had the chance to do it,” Kai says, hand playing with your fingers. “But you didn’t.” 

Holding your legs closer, you lick your lips. What do you say to that? Would it ever be the time to tell him that you did it because you think that your soul is pathetically intertwined with his, and that it might snuff your lifeforce out to even try pursuing life without him? Without this? How do you tell him that you’re so frozen and unwilling to pursue any sort of future because it means accepting that this chapter is over? You clutch childhood to your chest like a wild animal guarding scarce food; you refuse. You refuse to acknowledge its end.  

“Kai,” is all you say, trembled and thick. It’s not just your mother’s words that dig at you and tear to shreds the last bits of what dreaming you had left in you, but so many other reality checks too. This isn’t the first time you’ve heard those sorts of words, urging you forward. You can only dig your heel into the ground for so long before you’re swept away in time’s ruthless, endless moving.  

He understands. Lifting your face with warm fingers against your cheeks, he says, “Hey. How about we go get ice cream, or something?” 

Ice cream does sound nice. “Dairy Queen?” 

Smirk tugged over his mouth, he says, “Yes, Dairy Queen. A blizzard. C’mon, let’s go.” Sliding off the bed, he offers you an urging hand up. 

But you falter. “I don’t know if we can. She’s mad at me. I don’t think she’ll let me go.” 

“Let you go?” he says, eyes narrowed. “She doesn’t have to let you go. You’re an adult now, you go if you want to.” He offers his hand to you again. 

It’s so him, freely going wherever he ordain it. The bullheadedness is very him, as well. Always the devil on your shoulder, he was the root of any rebellious thing you’ve ever done. He could never understand your apprehension, or why getting in trouble was such an awful thing to you. “I have to ask to get money.” 

Brows pinching, he says, “You think I’m not gonna pay for you? You don’t need them to give you money, I’ll pay. I’ll take care of it.” He drags you up from the bed this time. “Live a little. Do you want to go?” 

It was never the punishments or the getting in trouble that you were scared of, though. Disappointment was a scarier word than grounded. Sneaking out and those sorts of things, it’s not like you had angel wings at your back and never considered them. It’s that you are deeply, utterly terrified of changing how they look at you. You begin to tell him, “I do, but—” 

He cuts you off, adamant. “Then do it. Let’s go. If you want to go, then go,” he says. “At some point, your life needs to become your own. It’s not sneaking out when you’re graduated and eighteen years old, it’s going wherever the hell you want. You’ve... You’re gonna end up stuck here, in this town, forever. You don’t deserve that.” 

That sounds like both the best and the worst thing you’ve ever heard. You take his hand.  

⚝⭒ 

Your frozen fingers nurse your ice cream. The cup itself is cold, but the Dairy Queen on your side of town is always thirty degrees below what it should be. It’d always been that way. Even way back when you two couldn’t drive, you’d get dropped off here to escape the melting weather and get a frozen treat with a handful of dollars. Each time, you’d start off sagging with the relief of summer’s weight off your shoulders and left the place shivering and sugar-mouthed.  

It’s really only you two in here. You crinkle your nose when he takes a spoonful. “Out of all the flavors...” 

Unbothered and no doubt expecting you to say it, he offers you a flat, “You get your flavor, I get mine.” He makes a point of taking an extra-long bite. His lips linger around the red plastic of the spoon and his brows rest high in silent challenge.  

The corners of your lips twitch up. “Hmm. Well. I just have a hard time believing that Oreo... or, like, brownie fudge, is right there, and you actually want M&M. I don’t get how M&M your favorite.” A familiar banter falls over your tongues. Your heart buzzes and your cheeks radiate. This is the first you’ve done this all summer, and it’ll be weaning off into fall soon. Any other summer, you would’ve been here on all the hottest days. You hate that Kai’s been so busy with his music; you hate that you can hear the resounding ticks of the clock counting down your time. You also hate that the stubborn depths of you still believe that if you freeze yourself here in stasis that the world will relent and stop along with you. 

You look over the sharp lines of Kai’s jawline as it feathers with his chewing, and the broadness of his shoulders where his jacket stretches around it, and the starkness of his collarbones against his chest and the bobbing of his adam’s apple when he swallows. No, time doesn’t stop. Some of him remains the same, though. In it, you see the boy that had love creeping up on you so long ago, with all its aching and all its hope. That freckle on the column of his neck, the bump in his nose leading down to the button tip that beckons your lips to steal a quick kiss.  

And, those lips. They’re as soft as ever around the discontented grimace he pulls. “M&M isn’t my favorite.” 

With a pursed mouth and patronizing brows arched over your eyes, you say, “Oh, huh. That’s funny, because if my memory serves me right, it’s the only flavor you’ve ordered for the past... six years.”  

Kai husks a laugh at that. “That’s because they haven’t had my favorite for years,” he tells you, scooping up the final bit and then pushing it off to the side. “It was a blizzard of the month that they discontinued. The blackberry cheesecake one. I made peace with it, though. It lives on in my heart.” He grins, arms crossed over his chest and his back settled into the booth seat to let you finish your cup.  

“Blackberry cheesecake,” you say, voice made taunting. Your nod is slow and taunting, too. “Well, forget M&Ms. Why would blackberry cheesecake be your favorite? Ever?” 

His face falters, a moment where something flows over his eyes as if reliving a memory in a few short seconds. Then, he shrugs. “It just is.” 

You roll your eyes. “Whatever,” you laugh. “Maybe my palate is unrefined.” Imagining the tarte fruit in purple swirls of ice cream, you’re taken back to a humid July day and the scent of churned mud.  

The strange memory unfolds itself quick. As if it were waiting for you to find wherever it’d hidden itself away. With a sharp gasp, you say, “Oh my god, Kai. Do you remember that one day? That weird stuff we saw down at the creek?” 

He nods. “Yeah. I was just thinking of that the other day, actually...” 

Less interested in finishing your cup now, you let the spoon rest. “What?” you say, the word peaking in the middle. That day hadn’t crossed your mind once since it’d happened. “How weird is that?” 

Scoffing a laugh, he says, “Weird, yeah. Just as strange as two kids high on fermented berries.” 

That draws a breathy laugh from you. “Is that what you think it was?” you ask him with knitted brows. The berries had been fresh, and you two had popped plenty into your mouth. But no doubt, you’d have spat them right back out if they were that ripe. “I mean, we saw the same thing.” 

“It happens to animals all the time. Squirrells, and stuff.” He lends you a gallic shrug. “We just freaked ourselves out. Like that one time you said you saw the shape of something in the dark and we freaked out. And it was clothes.”  

Well, hallucinating, in tandem, a glowing mist because you two by chance ate fermented berries is a very long shot. However nonchalant he acts about it, he seems to have thought long and hard about it. Enough to reason it away with some far cry explanation. Would you have even been able to get drunk off a handful of fermented berries? And, god, you’re really sure that you’d have noticed. That taste isn’t really one you just don’t notice.  

Whatever. Maybe you were just drunk idiots. That’s a lot easier to swallow, anyway. 

“Okay, but you saw that. Did it not look sinister?” you say. With your spoon back in your hand, you punctuate the sentence pointing it at him. “You freaked out with me, too.”  

An unsatisfied scowl on his lips, he steals a spoonful of your dessert. You don’t even swat him away—your phone buzzes in your pocket. 

Catching sight of who’s calling, you share a long look with Kai. It’s funny, how fast those three white letters scramble you up. When you hesitate to answer, Kai tells you, “Answer.” 

You hope she can’t tell you’re not at Kai’s by the refrigerators’ dull buzzing. It’s an effort to tussle that invasive worry back. You’re at Dairy Queen. Getting ice cream with the boy she’s known since childhood. She should clutch her hands and thank the sky that you’re here, not out in some nasty frat house like you could be. You thumb the green button. 

Her voice comes through the speaker crackled and asking you to run over to do a quick dish load. For a heartbeat you consider telling her that you will and then start rushing home. Instead, you fork out the truth through resistant lips. 

The hangup tone sits heavy on the air between you and Kai. Having listened to the whole thing on speaker, he says, “What was so hard about that? The world didn’t end, did it?” 

The plush of your lip takes a hard gnawing. No, it hadn’t. “I know she’s not going to get mad at me for just going here,” you say as you rest your elbows onto the table. “It’s that they’re supporting me right now. I still live under their roof. The more I go around and insist I can do whatever I want, they’ll start reminding me of it.” 

His face drawn, he lets his mouth twitch to one side. “Yeah,” he muses. “I never thought yours would be the type to kick you out.” 

Kai’s dad had started threating him with getting kicked out years ago, when he first started telling him that he wanted to do music. How many times had he let reluctant tears flow into your shoulder over it? Because music wasn’t a real job? Back then, you’d whispered in his ears that he’d become everything he’d dreamed of and more as your fingers carded through shaggy locks of hair.  

“I don’t know,” you say, humming it out noncommittally. “Is your dad still... y’know?” 

Nodding slowly, his eyes tell. “Yeah. Always.” 

“Because you’re taking the band seriously, now?” you ask.  

“Probably. I don’t give a shit what he thinks about it. If I’m just his goddamn problem, I’ll give him what he wants soon enough.” His eyes blaze with promise of it.  

It takes a bit out of you to not wince. Kai living anywhere but in the house across from yours is wrong. “I don’t think he necessarily wants that, Kai...” You take his hand in your icy ones, the urge to reach out to him thinly veiled under the guise of searching out warmth. He’d always run warmer than you—your personal heater. “It’s probably because he can see that you’re doing it for real. Not just saying it anymore.” 

“Yeah, well,” he spits, “I can’t fucking wait to see what he’ll say to me when I make it. That piece of shit, though, he wouldn’t even care. It’s not like he ever gave a shit about me enough for it to matter.” 

But, it matters to you, you want to tell him. You understand his need to throw it all in his face, though. “Is that one label going to sign you? The one you were talking about?” 

His tongue darts out to wet dry lips. “They haven’t yet. I don’t know. But I don’t need that money to get out of here, I’ve been working on it.” 

“They will,” you say. “But, where would you go? Not too far?” You try and keep it light and playful, even as your heart aches. 

“Come with me,” he says. It’s painfully blunt, as if it were that simple. “Let’s go get and apartment; you and me.” 

“Kai...” you say. “You don’t have to drag me along because you feel bad.” 

The idea doesn’t sound half bad, though.  

“What?” His face tightens, as if somewhere under the surface your words had scraped somewhere tender. “You don’t have to stay here forever. Please. I want... I want you to come with me. You wouldn’t have to even tell them; just bring all your stuff and go together. We could do it together. Like we said we would.”  

“We were like, five. Everybody tries to pretend running away at five,” you deadpan. It’s a washy attempt at lightening things back up. 

Living with him, moving out together, should feel like everything you’ve ever wanted. And, maybe it is. But, he’s not asking you to live with him the way you want him to. Not in the way that your aching heart wishes he would.  

Kai doesn’t share the laugh you give him. “Yeah, okay,” he says, leaning into the table.  

Perhaps you should consider the potent disappointment he’s terribly masking with a face of indifference, though. 

⚝⭒ 

Slowly, the knots in your belly have worked themselves out. When Kai had dropped you off, they’d been so awful that you felt borderline sick. You sat the whole ride there in his old beat-up truck picking at your nails and rambling to him. He listened to you the whole time. And then when it was time to walk in, it had least felt a little easier to do so with his eyes on you, watching to make sure you made it in safely. 

You’d gotten a job. It’s not too bad, folding clothes out on display. It would be nice if they kept the lights a bit brighter, but you’ll get used it eventually, you hope. 

Most of your coworkers are around your age, but the one showing you the ropes... your heart had fluttered. 

“You’ll get it,” Yeonjun says. The smile you find on his lips once he straightens up from placing product on a display is smooth and smug. Sleek strands of black hair fall over his eyes. You fluster under his gaze.  

With arms crossed over your chest you say, “Yeah, probably.” You reach into the cardboard box for stock to practice on. 

“Where’d you work before this?” he asks, leaning back into a wall to watch you. Suddenly, you make sloppier work of your folding. “Your first retail job?” 

Some obnoxious pop song falls down from the speakers over the store. Nobody’s in here yet, thankfully; you’ve got some time to try and get a handle on everything. “No, this is my first job. I was so nervous walking in.” 

Interest catches in his eyes. It encourages that smooth smile on his lips further. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll show you the reins.” 

Your mind stalls. The suggestive, sly flicker to it—are you looking too much into it? Maybe that’s just how guys like Yeonjun act. It’s hard to pretend that you don’t see how he’s looking at you, though. It has your belly twisted up in fluttery knots. It’s not like you hadn’t had your share of his type. But, for some reason you’d rather not address, he’s got your heart thumping in your chest. 

He laughs at your fifth attempt to fold up the shirt. When he takes it from you to help, he smells of musk and vetiver. “You going to college near here?” he continues.  

“Nah, just doing this, I guess,” you answer, watching him fold it up to try and soak it up.  

“Really? Why not?” he hums, crossing his arms about his chest. “You seem like a smart girl.” 

Buffering, your blood buzzes in your veins and your cheeks burn. “Dunno. Not really sure what to do. Are you in college?” 

“Nah. I’m trying to figure things out, too.” 

The both of you pop your heads up when the bell rings to announce the arrival of a customer.  

“Yeah,” you say, eyeing him. He’s a few years older than you, no doubt, and yet his life hasn’t fallen apart because he’s not done anything grand yet.  

Time’s hand around your neck loosens. Just a little bit.  

⚝⭒ 

You sit crisscrossed on top of Kai’s bedsheets. He’d thrown the windows open because the AC died, but it’s no help. The hot air wafting about the room sits heavy on your skin. You’d dressed in as little material as possible to let it breathe, bare thighs clad in a pair of loose shorts and a thin tank top, but it’s still miserable. 

Perhaps you two should be going over to yours, but you haven’t had time alone with him for a few weeks now. You hate this busier life, where you struggle to make room for this. 

Your new job isn’t so awful, though. Especially with Yeonjun there. A bout of nerves flows up through your stomach. That reminds you. 

Sitting up a bit straighter, you consider not doing it. In fact, you really shouldn’t. But your mouth moves before you can put a stopper on it. 

“Hey, Kai,” you say. The thickness in your throat makes you believe that your heart’s jumped up into it, caught. God, what are you doing? The unsure waver in your words has you regretting. 

His eyes flicker up to yours. He hums out a, “Huh?” 

No, this is wrong. You mess with the thin cotton strap of your tank top where it’d slipped down. “Never mind,” you tell him, trying to shrug it off.  

That piques his interest. “No, what?” His brow pinches.  

You lick your lips and shake your head. “Nothing, never mind. Really.” 

His eyes search you from where he sits up against the wall. “Tell me,” he demands. 

Really, you shouldn’t have said it in the first place. It was a ridiculous idea. But now you know he’s not going to let it go. And, ridiculously, you say it. “I was just... wondering,” you say, blood roaring. "Well, Yeonjun wants me to come over to his place this weekend, and... I’ve never...” Sucking in a quick breath, you just spit it out to get it over with, “Would you be my first kiss, Kai?” 

Insects buzz outside as he looks at you, frozen in spot. You reject the urge to dart away or throw up. You’re honestly just as shaken as him. But really, who else could you trust with something like that? You don’t want Yeonjun to be disappointed if he kisses you, or to seem inexperienced to him. 

And, perhaps, the hopelessly in love part of you hopes to at least feel his lips on yours at least once. If you’re going to be alone forever in your longing, you just wish that you can have this. 

“What?” Kai says. He looks rattled.  

Of course, he’s shocked. You shift. “Forget I said that,” you tell him, unable to meet his gaze.  

String-roughened fingers wrap around your upper arm. “I didn’t say anything,” he says, voice strained and face less shock-fallen and more darkened. “But... I mean, you want me to teach you to kiss for some other guy.” He spits out the last bit as if bitter in his mouth.  

“You don’t have to do it,” you say. “I just... thought that I might ask you to do it. I don’t know, I’m sorry I said it. I’ll just wing it or something.” His room’s grown ten degrees hotter, if that was possible. Especially where you feel his eyes on your face.  

Almost imperceptibly, his hand tightens around you. He swallows hard. “You want to learn how to kiss?” he says. “Fine. I’ll teach you.” 

In a heart-stopping moment, your eyes snap to his. Brown and familiar, they hold you with an intensity that turns your limbs into jelly. The air is stifling. “What... do I do?” you ask when the silence becomes too heavy.  

A muscle feathers in his jaw, reflected in the low light of his room. It’s quick and so easy to miss, but it tells you everything you need to know about how this is making him feel. How much disbelief he’s in. “Come here,” he says, stilted around the absolute absurdity of it. He pats on his lap. 

You make a hesitant crawl across the bed toward him. It seems as though your elbows might buckle beneath your weight, but you make it despite the odds. A fog settles over your brain when you rest your hands on his shoulders and bring your legs to straddle his lap. 

But you shove it back; you want to live and breathe every last second of this. No matter how unbelievable or blistering it is.  

Breaths fan out over your face. It’s seizing your mind like undiluted liquor. “Where do I put my hands?” you ask him. It’s breathless, the air stolen right from your lungs though your mouths haven’t even touched.  

“There is fine,” he says. His words sound breathless, too. The weight of his touch on you as he runs his own up to support your back is unsure. “And then...” he says. It falls out on your mouth slowly, and then he’s taking your lips onto his. 

The walls melt away, sound does too. All that is real is the taste of his lips and how they move against you. Your lips start tentative, but you try his mouth movements yourself. It feels like a timid dance—it feels like deep, deep down, finally everything is right. That mist, thick and blinding, falls back over you. 

Something changes. Something in it, where you two meet, changes. He becomes hungry. Softly locked lips turn biting and nipping, shaky breaths exhaled slow through your nose. His hands on your back become surer, and one even ventures off to grab your chin. The other holds you to his chest, melded together despite the intense smoke and flame rolling off your bodies. You wonder if he can feel your heart beating a mess there. 

Reluctance paints you both when you pull back. You’re panting deep drinks of air. It’s hard to think; your mind’s run off and sits just out of reach. Licking your messy lips, stained with illicitness, you can only manage to brush your fingers against it to form words. “How... was that?” you say, searching his eyes. You find his pupils blown so wide that they consume the warm brown. You’re ready to jump out of your skin with that look pointed at you.  

Kai doesn’t answer, though. He slams your mouths back together as if starved by just the brief moment you’d parted for air. Nips on your bottom lip and emboldened hands—he moves like roaring water through a dam. A dam that he’d worked hard to fortify, and yet, at a crack it’s all falling down. Fingertips digging through the fabric of your shorts down to your soft hips, his chest rumbles. You feel it reflected in your core, electricity charging there and shooting up your spine and down your thighs. 

You kiss him for all the times you wish you would’ve, but didn’t. The slight rolls of your hips down onto him come easy. You love how it has him making a sound into your mouth and taking the fat beneath his fingers harder into his hands. He helps you. 

He drops his head into your neck. Your head swims for air and he has you shuddering with just the brushing of his nose against the column of your neck. The walls of his room spin around you. “Kai,” you whine, every bit of friction his jeans provide, even clothed as you are, just enough to rile you but not to give you what you need. 

“God,” he growls, thumbs hooking under your waistband. “You always fucking run around dressed in nothing,” he says, letting his fingers linger like a suggestion of undressing you. “Did you do it on purpose? Expect to make me crazy, knowing I couldn’t touch you?” 

And, in those words, it seems that he steals every last bit of breath from you. How often had you gone braless or worn something like this around him? Laid here, in his bed, like that? 

Grown tired of your fruitless grinding, he brings a hand down to support your lower back and says, “Turn around.” 

Though you explode with the prospect of what he might be intending to do or what’s next, if you’re really going to do this, you do so in a flash of eager limbs. His chest is solid against your back, you melt against the feeling of it. He’d become such a man lately, filled out, and you watched it happen. It was hard for your eyes not to catch on muscle-corded forearms while he picked at strings or to not appreciate the timbred rumble of his voice when you’d feel it come from his chest. How could it not do things to you? Now, he’s dragging your shorts down your legs and you’re in disbelief.  

“Fuck,” he breaths out. His fingers find your panties soaked through. “So, you’re the type to get dripping wet.” 

An embarrassed blush decorates your cheeks. Kai drags his index finger in circles around your clit through the fabric as if enamored with how much of a mess you’d made of it. Your hips twitch every time he rolls right over it. It’s strange how he’s got your body acting on its own volition with his touches. Even stranger that it’s your best friend doing it. “Sorry,” you tell him, wavering.  

He continues those terribly slow circles. “Sorry?” he says, chin on your shoulder. He’s got you wrapped up in him, with nowhere to go but to melt back into him and let his fingers work. Free hand on one of your inner thighs digging divots into the plushness there to hold it still, he tells you, “It’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s hot as fuck. You’re so excited for me to touch you, huh?” 

The words wreak havoc on you, feeding the flame that has your belly twisted up tight and the ignition point between your thighs pounding. To hear them coming from him, reserved Kai, has you digging your fingers into his forearm to prove that it’s real. You’d never have imagined him being so... filthy. You imagine him behind falsely nonchalant eyes, devouring you with a perverted mind all the times you’d spent innocently sitting together in this room.  

Your cheeks squish beneath his fingers as he takes your face and turns it to him. He wants to make sure you’re look at him as he asks you, “Do you want me to finger you?” 

Like a record, your brain skips. Between the blunt, lewd question and his hand on you, it’s in overload. How could he ask something like that so simply? Stunned as you are, of course you want him to. You want him to do anything to you. You nod.  

Every last nerve and neuron in your system, just below the skin, cry out when his fingers slow down to nothing. “Hmm?” he says, ignoring the chasing of your hips and the opening of your thighs to invite him into paying your poor pussy the attention he’d ripped from it. He wants to hear you say it.  

About ten minutes ago, you lost your mind. It does not return to you now. “I want you to,” you say, chest beating in tandem with your cunt. 

“You want me to, right? Not some dumbass you met a week ago, huh?” he says. “Because you know that this is what it’s meant to be. Me, doing these things to you. Not some twenty-five-year-old piece of shit. He doesn’t deserve you, baby. Understand?” 

His fingers slider under your panties. Dumb brained and cognition gone muddled, you nod. All you can really think about is the moment his fingers slide over you. Fire licks up your lower belly and your insides as he brushes calloused finger tips finally right against your clit. 

Puffed breaths of a scoff raise goosebumps over your skin. “Teach you to kiss so that you can go over there and get his hands on you,” he says, middle two fingertips prodding at your entrance. “As if you were ever anybody’s but mine. You’d come crawling back to me, baby, because it was always meant to be us. He could never satisfy you.” 

His words might alarm you or have you asking questions if he hadn’t pushed his fingers into you and begun curling them with strong, pointed presses, pulling soft mewls and hums from you until he finds a spot that twists up your insides. Even through the palm you press over your mouth, your moans come out more like wavering grunts and croaks. Your thighs quiver and twitch, threatening to snap closed against your own will with each. Only your feet stay planted to the mattress. Like a cone of soft serve under the sun’s blistering attention, you melt down him. Just his frame keeps you upright. 

“Right there, huh?” he says. The smirk on his mouth filters his words into something taunting. “That’s where you like it.” It’s like he’s learning your body step by step, fulfilling all the questions he’d been forced to only guess at before this.  

“Uh-huh.” It comes out whiny and cracks in the middle, but you can’t find even an ounce of you to care right now. If this moment had been a long spiral, a fall from grace, down into a dark pit of forgotten inhibitions, you’ve just hit the bottom. Cheeks blazing cherry blossom pink and with your fingers curling into his pant leg, you don’t doubt that you are a picturesque mess. The kind of mess that’s beautiful because it’s dirty. Your teeth are not gentle on your plush bottom lip. It stings, tugged back and bitten and still a bit swollen with kisses. Perhaps you taste the tang of metal on it, but you pay it no mind. 

Kai redoubles his efforts. Now that he knows exactly how to play you, he’s fucking you on his fingers without mercy. The sounds coming from your cunt were wet, but now they’re different— nasty squelching. The only noises coupling with your pathetic keening. Forget anchoring yourself on his thigh, forget muffling your sounds. Instead, your hands fly to encircle his flexing forearm. Under your nails, angry red crescents dig into the muscle there. What had been a languid, building pleasure suddenly becomes everything. Your breaths run away from you, and you chase them frantically. Deep down in your core, the muscles spasm and rage against his fingers. “H—oh god,” you groan. Even the muscles in your thighs and tummy tighten up. 

“So whiny...” Kai mumbles, voice taut with the effort of eroding you down into pure, blinding-white pleasure. 

And then, in a swoop of mercy, your belly tightens. You hover here, on the precipice of something so consuming and voracious that your muscles and bones reject it, and yet your heart sings. Your eyes and cheeks and lungs and belly burn, the flame charring the edges of you in a beckon. You answer its call. Kai doesn’t mind the snapping of your legs shut around his arm, nor does your bucking or shaking deter him. He just holds you through it, arm like a metal bar around your waist. He’s everywhere, in this moment—the smell of him, leather and utterly familiar, his mouth dusting hot kisses over your skin, his fingers guiding you through orgasm. Where you’d gone silent in the initial crash of it, you devolve into mewls and grunts as you come down.  

He holds you even as you slump against him boneless. Afterglow simmers in your veins and has your brain all lethargic and lazy. Neither of you speak for a while, your pulse thumping a rhythm. His breaths rise and fall against you; it grounds you in this moment where you feel all spacey and gone. You become aware again of how disgustingly sweltering it is in his room, your skin sheened. 

That brainless bliss only lasts you for so long, though. When rational mind returns to you, no matter how you wish it wouldn’t, you’re hit in the chest with regret so hard it knocks the wind out of you. 

How will anything ever be the same after what you’d just done? Stricken still by the thought, you barely register him pulling his fingers out of you. After all your worrying about making sure no wedge comes between you two, look what you’ve gone and done. No; nothing ever will be the same again.  

⚝⭒ 

A couple of weeks ago, you ruined the one friendship you were supposed to have forever. It presses down heavy one you while you sit sprawled out on Yeonjun’s couch, his arm around your shoulder. His phone casts a glow over his features with all the lights out. 

It doesn’t smell like home. He, pressed against your side, doesn’t smell like home.  

Some stupid movie that he’d picked out, yet somehow you’ve ended up the only one still watching it, weaves a hum into the quiet of his apartment. Tangy hurt wells up in your throat. Even the moments when you and Kai would sit in mutual silence on your phones never felt like this. This is different.  

You haven’t seen Kai since that night. He’s been busy getting ready to move out, and you’ve been here most days. How fast all of it had changed. You wish you’d feel whiplashed, left empty, by the drifting that you’d been so terrified of. But you don’t. It’s just been you, locked on land, watching him being taken away by the ocean’s tide with no way to change its course. You tried and screamed to call him back, but now your voice has gone hoarse.  

And instead of watching him go, you choose to look elsewhere. It’s all you can do to protect yourself from the hurt. 

“Hey,” Yeonjun says, finally addressing you rather than whoever’s he’s got in his phone. “Did you bring anything to change into?”  

“I brought stuff to sleep in,” you say, eyeing him. You know that’s not why he’s asking. If it came down to it, you could just steal something from him and pull it on. He means going out clothes. Your jaw tightens. “But nothing nice. Why?” 

He stretches his arms behind his head in a flaunt of long arms and tanned muscle. Hours spent at the gym lent him those; you appreciate the look of it with a watering mouth. Kai had earned his build by hours spent outside with your dad, because his own could care less, helping him fix up cars and vehicles of all ridiculous sorts. You remember when Kai had first gotten his truck—junk on wheels, honestly—he’d spent so much of summer out there getting it running. And, well... the sun-kissed bronze of his skin and frame that came with it, you had no qualms with. 

But those memories only sit heavy in your chest as you’re sat here beside Yeonjun. You banish them elsewhere; you need to let him drift off. If you can’t have each other, and your feelings won’t permit just being friends, then you have to. You want him to do amazing things, and you fear that it’s your presence in his life that will interrupt that. As much as your feelings are real, they are selfish. You, your unsure direction and all your dead weight, should let him go. Because you love him. 

“The guys want to come over,” he tells you, pushing off from the couch. “You should probably into change into something less showy.” 

Less showy. Your mouth drops into a scoff of disbelief, looking down. A pair of shorts and a shirt, showy? You have to laugh, or else you’ll succumb to the strange embarrassment crawling at the back of your skull. What’s he trying to say? Is that what he thinks of you? “What’s that supposed to mean?” you say, face tilted up to him in a twist of distaste. “I’m wearing something comfy.” 

He shrugs, hands shoved into the pockets of his black sweats. “Don’t want to give them the wrong idea about you, that’s all, baby. They’re guys; I just want to protect you.” 

“No,” you say, the word falling out in a barked laugh. “Why would you even be bringing over dudes that you think will look at me like that? Why are you even friends with people that you think are gonna make moves on your girlfriend?” He holds a hand out to you, but your hands stay right where they are: crossed solidly over your chest. 

Throwing that hand up in audacious exasperation, he gives you a look that makes you feel small and petulant—like you’re throwing an overblown fit. And, maybe you are. You should probably just do it; him seeing you as some overbearing or high maintenance girl has that embarrassment flaring like wildfire that’s found dry brush. “C’mon, baby,” he says, a lazy smile on his mouth that gets under your skin. “Let’s just have an easy night. Don’t make it a big deal.” 

Let’s just have an easy night. As if you’re the one ruining the night. Something snarky tries to seize your tongue, but you hold it down. “I thought it would be just us. We wanted to watch the movie together, Yeonjun. Can’t you wait to hang out with your friends? Let’s enjoy our time together; you’ve got your shift tomorrow.” 

“My fucking god,” he groans, running a hand through his hair furiously. “You’re needy, you know that? The neediest I’ve ever had to put up with. I don’t put up with needy, baby. Can’t you just chill out a little? My last didn’t mind when I’d have friends over.” 

Your eyes burn. Your cheeks burn. He’d been with plenty of other girls before you; that, you’re well aware of. It’s been a corrosive source of self-doubt for you. You don’t want that title: the neediest he’s ever had. Don’t want him to think of you as some prude that won’t let him have fun. Just... hearing him bring up the other girls he’d been with before you stings and leaves welts no different from a slap in the face. Feelings of inadequacy shackle you and have you saying, “Fine. I’m gonna borrow some of your clothes.” 

Heavy resentment blooms on your skin where he bends down and presses kisses to your cheek, and then mouth, and then down your neck. “Thank you, baby.” 

And, where those ugly, wilted flowers of it bloom, you hear echoes of something. Something that tells you that Kai wouldn’t treat you like this. But you’ve made your bed, decided to do it yourself, and now you’ve got to lay on it. 

⚝⭒ 

The frat parties are the worst kind of social outing that Yeonjun insists upon. The smaller kinds, more intimate gathering with just his closer friends, you tolerate much easier. You’re not fond of the circles he chooses. Breathing in thick, smoked-out air surrounded by alcohol-coated breaths is not your type of fun night. Somehow, you end up doing that more than date nights. But that’s better than being here. The base rumbles up through your feet and makes your stomach sick, and it reeks of grinding bodies and body odor, and condensation coats your fingers from the red solo cup as full as when you’d first gotten it. 

But, still, you come along. Not every time, but when you don’t, you lay in his bed sickening yourself with images of what he might be doing here. How pathetic is it to attend parties with your boyfriend because you fear that otherwise, he might stick his tongue down the throats of other girls? 

You’re looking for him right now, awkward and left alone. He’d promised to stick around; you had begged him to. That was pathetic, too. You know that you put up with too much. If he loved you, or honestly even liked you, you two would be in the thick of the throngs dancing or off somewhere talking with others. Together. The frantic skimming and weeding of your eyes through the blur of faces is not right. That’s not how he should make you feel. It’s not how Kai would make you feel. 

Well, Kai would never have you here in the first place. 

Venturing out from your little corner, you sift between the bodies of people have a hell of a lot better time than you. Drunken, some you bounce off of like bumper carts. You press your palm over the round face of your cup to spare the floor from spillage threatening to pour over the lip. It’s not like a splash from yours would matter much, though. The linoleum has already been made a fetor mess of dirt off shoes and the sticky sugar of liquor. Your shoes peel from it as you walk. God, what would your parents think of you being here? 

You peek around corners and eye big groups. He’s not in the kitchen when you look there, either. Your stomach feels sick in a knowing way—a gut feeling that doesn’t justify anger or tears just yet, but you know. Right in the center of your chest, you know. 

It’s in some room that you find him. Sat on the floor along with a few faces you don’t know, he pulls from his bottle. And on his shoulder, he lets a girl with shining curls and pink cheeks rest her head. At your busting in on the intimate gathering, Yeonjun’s eyes slide to you. Recognition flashes over them and wars with bleary drunkenness. 

“Hey, baby,” he says. Their gazes all fall on you, but you can hardly see them through blurry eyes. 

The girl lifts her head from his shoulder. She’d caught the memo. 

“I think I’m gonna go.” You make it sound resigned, try to not let them see your shame, but your voice betrays you and crackles. Maybe it’s better to pretend it doesn’t feel like you’ve just been kicked in the stomach and left to reel against the force, but you can’t. You’re nowhere near shocked, nowhere near blindsided, but still you hurt. 

He follows you down the hall. “What’s your problem?” he says, the few, plain words mending and waving into a slurring. 

You’ve got one goal: get to the front door, away from the shitty music and him. His words, sharpened, fall off your skin despite his efforts. What good would fighting do you, anyway? It was always going to end up this way. This is just who he is, and he doesn’t give two shits enough about you to want to change that. 

“Baby, seriously? That made you this mad? I didn’t even fucking do anything. Stop being insecure,” he says. At the gritting of your teeth, he sees an opportunity and pounces on it. “You don’t need to be jealous. I don’t do jealous shit. We can dance, or something. Shit, I don’t know what you want! Just stop throwing a fit.” 

Didn’t do anything? You have to laugh. Maybe you didn’t walk in on him fucking someone else, but that’s not what this is about. Not even a little bit. You’ve checked out, and the fact that he thinks he can make you believe that it’s your fault this time only drives the killing stake in harder. 

Maybe you’re bitter. It claws at your insides—turns your face hot and screams in your face that you’ve been used. But beside it sits a sadness. Not the slow kind, but the quick sadness of hurt. Why hadn’t you been good enough for him to love you? To like you? You’d left behind Kai and rested your new life on Yeonjun’s shoulders. You’d wanted so badly for his approval, or for him to want you. You did your best to try and make this work out because you needed it to. You needed so desperately proof that you could fall in love with somebody else. But your best was not what Yeonjun was interested in.  

Pins and needles prick your skin as you step outside, like jumping into an ice bath. It shocks you out of dizziness. Words surge up and out in a flash flood like hard reality. You spin on him. “Jealous?” you say, choking out a scathing laugh. “The last thing I’d ever let myself suffer over you is jealousy. Get over yourself. I’m going, stay here if you want. I don’t care.” 

“How are you gonna do that, huh?” he says. The flickering yellow of the porchlight paints his features. The shadow of something fluttering around it cuts dark spots in the light, and then a small little moth comes down and jumps around in his face. He waves it off. “Gonna have bitch boy come pick you up? You can’t leech off him forever; he’s gonna get sick of picking up another man’s girlfriend.” It seems like you walking in on that had sobered him up, but his breath still curls out onto your face with the reek of alcohol. “It’s not a big deal. You’re making this a bigger deal than it has to be. Do you not trust me?”  

“You are such a piece of shit,” you grit out. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Ever. I don’t know how I let this go on for so long.” You don’t like him having Kai in his mouth, don’t like him trying to act like you’re conflating things, and especially don’t like that face he’s making. As if you’re acting crazy and overblown. “No, I don’t trust you. You didn’t fuck her, but come on, Yeonjun. Seriously? You think I’m stupid, and I’m sick of it. You thought this would be easy because I didn’t have the experience you have, but I’m sorry. I don’t like being walked over.” 

“If you’re gonna be so goddamn jealous, then maybe we aren’t gonna work,” he says. 

That moth, floating light in the air, is right back in his face. Yeonjun takes two hands and smashes it between a clap of his hands. He shakes its flattened, broken body off his hand. Looking down at it laying there on top of dirt-caked concrete, you get this... feeling. A tickling around your person.  

“See if I care,” you snap, throat aching against the onslaught of emotion and held back tears.  

⚝⭒ 

Rivulets of raindrops dilute the tears on your cheeks. Your hair plasters to your face and your clothes to your body.  

For a week, you’d went about it all as if it hadn’t happened. And then you came here.  

It’d not been this rainy when you first got down to the creek—just a gentle trickle, really. You hadn’t been crying then, either. But, watching the water work at babbling over stone, you let yourself feel it. Here, where you’d had so many good memories. You’ve gone and tainted it, now. But for whatever reason, you’d just wanted to be here. Arms curled around yourself and fingers digging into drenched sleeves, you don’t wipe away the tears or cover the sounds of your crying. You let the stream hear it; it’ll sweep it right up and down the way. Somewhere far off, where you don’t have to feel it anymore. 

You realize that, usually, you’d be over at Kai’s right now. The fact that his room was not the first place you thought you could go to anymore is a punch to the gut. You drop your face into your hands and cry harder. Really, you’ve got to stop doing that to yourself. Thinking of sad things—putting your hurt under the microscope to see it closer. It’d be easier to just fold it up and tell yourself that it’ll pass, and that relationships end all the time. 

It’s not him that you cry over. Well, maybe some of it is. Rather, it’s that you have absolutely no idea where you’re going. Where you are. Finally, you’d built yourself a raft to get off the shore and go out to sea, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, and it’s breaking apart right beneath you. And, stranded and alone in the water, you’ve got no way to get back to shore to build yourself another raft. You’re stranded, and the scariest bit is that you’re doing it all alone. You weren’t supposed to do this alone. You two made promises back then. 

You suppose that a promise is one of those things you were supposed to leave faith in back on shore. 

The raindrops are heavy over you. The fall of it roars against the ground, a torrent downpour. It’s not coupled with whipping wind or flashes of lightning—just straight, still falling. It’s a somber feeling no different from the gnawing in your chest. 

Like chimes, there’s a distant, gentle sound. Maybe water falling over creek rock, but it’s more like suggestion. A sweet sound that you shouldn’t even be able to hear over the rest of it, it’s as if it’s right in your ear. A whisper.  

You fix your blurry eyes with a wet sleeve. Rain falls right back into its place, but you see it: a silvery, whimsy haze. And the moths. They jump and call you, this time. Their glow bounces off the rainy mist against the grey of night’s arrival. Then, all you can hear is the whispering. Where you stand frozen, your feet beg to move. To follow them. 

So you do. 

Their entourage of moondust trails them where they go, wrapping you up and weaving between raindrop and space. You don’t worry where they’ll take you, or even try to wrap your head around this happening again. You just follow, mind glossed over and entranced with how beautiful it is. When you’d seen them before, it’d made you uneasy. Mostly because it looked so unearthly and unbelievable. But this time you just follow. 

A far-off voice, one oh-so-familiar, peaks through the haze. It’s not enough to stop you, but then you hear it again, louder and closer. 

You blink a few times. Once to break away the fog, and then twice to focus your eyes on Kai stood in front of you. His hair lays in wet spikes over his eyes and beads of rain trace the planes of his face. He’s as soaked as you. 

“Kai?” you say. Looking around you, you’ve ended up somewhere in the field between your houses and the creek. But you’ve got no recollection of walking here. Whatever that mist is, sentient or not, had swept you here.  

His voice is strained, but you appreciate hearing it. “Break up with him,” he tells you. 

In his eyes, as you search them, there’s stardust glowing like reflection. Your face twists up. “What?” you say, breath a puff of smoke ahead of you. Summer had come and gotten away from you so fast, and now it’s gone all cold again. 

“Break up with him,” he echos, face solemn. He looks ruffled. 

“Why?” you ask, “And why are you out here?” 

“Because I’m moving out today, and I think I deserve to at least see you before I go.” His eyes look over you. “And... your dad said you went down to the creek.” 

He’s moving out today, and you had no idea. And really, it’s your fault. You’d driven that wedge between the two of you. “I did break up with him.” 

Downpour fills his quiet for a few moments, his face swirling with emotion like the clouds above you. He nods. “Good.” 

There are a few more long minutes between you; just you two searching each other's faces, antsy to say so much that it bunches up in your chests and stalls. It’s what a summer of longing does to you. Even with Yeonjun, even trying to slowly chip away the stitching that had connected the two of you at the hip, you were helpless to stop the gnawing of the love you bear for him. Even just seeing him now, you feel those threads mending back up. God, why does it have to be so hard? 

He just looks at you. For a few beats, he just looks at you. There are so many questions in his eyes. They flit across and turn over, but all he settles on is, “Why?” 

There’s so much you want to tell him. Words pile up to the top, some threatening to spill over. But you know that if you tell him some of it, just to make up for all the time you’d missed out on together, it’ll all come crashing out. And you don’t think you want him to know just how much you accepted, the way you let yourself get treated. So, you shake your head and say, “It doesn’t matter.” 

Kai looks like he wants to push that issue, but whatever look he finds on your face deters him. “Come with me,” he pleads. “I want you to come with me.” 

Your throat tightens. Curling your arms around yourself harder, the rain only coming down on you harder, you say, “Kai, I want to. I want to. I just... I don’t want to freeload off you, because you’re doing great things, and I’m just...” Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, but they’re already as soaked as the rest of you. “I’m just going nowhere. And I don’t want to be a burden, or ever be the reason that you can’t do what you dream of. If staying here means that you become everything that you’re destined to do, then I’m happy with that, Kai. I am.” 

He shakes his head, stumbling toward you. “No, no you don’t get it,” he says, frantically taking your shoulders into big hands. Under his touch, every taut muscle goes slack. You melt. “You don’t get it. You are the music. Every single song is about you. Every single fucking song is about you. I want you to come with me, please. I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you, and I thought you’d loved me too, and I don’t want to do this alone. I can’t do it alone.” 

He loves you. Kai loves you. The enormity of it rumbles the ground where you stand on legs you fear might just give in. You flex your fingers to combat the tears pricking your eyes. It doesn’t work; they brim and well up, spilling down over your cheeks. “What?” you say, voice softly breaking. “Kai, I didn’t...” 

“And just when I thought I finally had you, you left me,” he says, throwing a hand up beside him in a big gesture. “You left me! I woke up thinking you’d be there, and that maybe you loved me too, and you had left me. And then you threw me away for some piece of shit, and you stopped coming around.” His chest heaves for breaths. 

Your face contorts. That night, the one where you two had slipped up, you’d fallen asleep curled up against his chest on undiluted contentment. When you woke up, you had panicked. You thought he’d wake up and pretend it hadn’t happened, or he’d be uncomfortable, or even be disgusted and regretting. You couldn’t handle that, so you slipped out before he woke up. It’d been an attempt to protect your tender heart, but looking at the twitching of his lip now, you begin to think it’s the most selfish thing you’ve ever done. He thinks you used him and left him. Your stomach twists. Voice thick, you say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you, Kai. I thought you didn’t... I thought you didn’t see me that way. I was scared. I’m sorry I hurt you.” 

Brows knitted together, he says, “Thought I didn’t love you?” His hand cups your cheek, warm against the soft frozen skin he finds there. “I’ve... I’ve dreamed of you almost every night of my life. In my sleep, I see you, and you’re happy and glowing, and that damn... mist is all around you. I couldn’t get away from you even in my sleep.” 

Darting between his eyes, soft and reflecting your face back to you, it’s hard to breathe. Kai’s dreamt of you; he’s as sickly in love with you as you are him. Thunder claps, and the ground shakes, and the heavens open up above you, the trumpets belt, and you two are in love. Somewhere deep in your center, you feel it—your soul nodding yes. 

The mist. You know exactly what he’s talking about. “I saw it. That stuff, those moths. The stuff we saw back then.” 

“I did too,” he says, wet spikes of hair bouncing with a nod. “Not that long ago. It was the first time I saw it out of a dream since that day.” 

Back then, you two had only budding, innocent love for each other. Things hadn’t become mangled and lost to confused hearts or expectations. When they’d appeared to you, you hadn’t needed it. This time, you’d followed it. And it had led you here—somehow had led you right to the very spot you needed to so that every last piece might fall into place. For this moment to happen. You know why it did. 

“I’ll go with you, Kai. I’ll go wherever you go; I love you. I’ve loved you since forever,” you say, each and every word massive and lovely on your tongue. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier.” 

So unlike the last times your mouth had met, he brings his mouth to yours with a dazzling clarity. No longer is it confused kisses; he locks his lips against yours with the urgency of so many years being unable to. Kai’s hands cradle your wet cheeks, hold you so tenderly into his kiss. His touch grounds you, makes the moment real. You melt into him—your fingers curled into his shirt as if holding him there so that he won’t disappear like something of an incorporeal dream. He sighs through his nose, kissing you harder. Even if it all were fake and this was nothing more than a feverish figment of your imagination, you think you could die happy just knowing this once. 

But it is utterly real, and utterly yours. You kiss him harder, too. 

When your lungs start to burn and plead for breath, you two pull away from each other. Your eyes flutter open to capture his. Warm and brown and the same ones you’ve stared into so many times before, but not like this, you sink into them. He runs his thumb over your cheek as he sinks into yours. His tongue darts out to lick lips painted with you. In the inches between you, space no longer feels heavy or charged with grievances. Every last unsaid thing had been answered. 

“I have my stuff up in the truck,” he says, breaths soft. Brown eyes dart around your face. “I’ll help you add your stuff to it.” 

You shudder out a breath. Add your stuff to it. A nervous energy settles down over you, but it doesn’t seem so bad if you’re doing it with him. Together.  

“Okay,” you whisper, a balmy secret just like the ones you used to share in small, giggly voices so many years ago. “Okay.” 

⚝⭒ 

Shivers seize you like jittering bones, all wrapped up in a blanket. The velour cushion seats beneath you have soaked up water and become damp, but Kai’s got the heater blasting. You wind around back roads, headlights illuminating the way ahead of you. Stray droplets whip in them, but nothing much. Isn’t it funny how the rain had just stopped like that? That’s just how the weather is, out here. You wonder how the weather might act wherever you’re headed. 

Your teeth chatter as if your jaw had its own will. The two of you had the windows down thinking that the wind might dry you off, but all it’s done is lap at your bitten cheeks. You reach down for the handle to crank it up. You’ve got a long drive ahead of you—either you’ll eventually dry off, or you can pull off at a rest area to change in a bathroom. The wet clothes are really not helping. 

With an arm up on the steering wheel, Kai turns his attention on you. You know that smile. “Cold?” he asks, eyes darting between your face and the road. With the hand he’s not got working the steering wheel, he runs fingers over your thigh. Soft, gentle massages, yes. The number it does on your core is absurd. Each mindless digging into your thighs and brush of his thumb, sparks sputter there. You’ve sat here, right in his passenger seat, so many times before. Day trips up to the lake, the one he’d joined your family camping at for so many summers, all the times he’d driven you to school in this truck, and even just a quick run down to a convenience store for a late-night snack. You’d deemed it your seat. But never once had you sat in it like this. Your heart does a flip. All those times you’d wish he’d reach over and do just this—a small gesture that would’ve been so big then. And it’s your reality, now.  

“Freezing,” you say. A brush of his fingers nearer the apex of your thighs sends you pressing them together and shifting in your seat. “But not everybody runs as hot as you, though, so.” 

His eyes catch the movement in just the split second he looked over to you. “Huh,” he says. He turns to look at you, his gaze flickering with something anew. Something that you’d only ever seen once before. “Is that it?” 

It’s hard to swallow. His fingers brush higher, and higher, feather-dustings of calloused fingertips that sends tingles shooting up your spine at the slightest suggestion of where he’s headed. “Yes,” you say, feigning indignance to cover the shiver that threatens to overtake you. When his fingertips dance at the waistband of your bottoms, it does so anyway. “Kai,” you say, blood hot in your veins. “You’re...driving.” 

His eyebrows pinch into a taunting furrow. “I am,” he says, nodding. “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ve got us.” 

And he does; fingers slipping under the band of both your bottoms and your panties, he doesn’t even tear his eyes off the road. He’d driven these roads so much, you think he might be able to do it asleep. Even drawing a mewl from you with a brush over your clit, he doesn’t look away more than a quick glimpse at your pinkened cheeks. 

Two fingers dragging up your folds, right over the source of the mess. “You get excited so easily, huh?” he hums. “You like it when I play with you.” 

When he presses those fingers at your entrance, you can’t help but be taken back to that night. It echoes and reverberates through you. Long fingers, strong and punctual brushes against the sweet spot—he was criminally good with his fingers. Playing guitar did more for him than just music. He seemed to know exactly how to utilize those roughened fingers and trained flicks. Your muscles flicker as he abandons your hole for more brushes at your bud.  

Those teasing, sly touches turn to something more serious. His fingers roll over your clit, slow but enough to have you sighing and rolling your hips against the seat belt. But last time had gone just like this, him touching you and receiving nothing. He should feel good, too. “Shouldn’t you pull over?” you sigh, muscles taut. Your breaths come out shuddering and half-controlled, interrupted by the tightness that each delicious swirl provokes. The door takes the brunt of your grip, white-knuckling the interior. 

He laughs, a husky sound that is tinder to fire. He knows what you mean. “Maybe,” he says. “But I think I’m enjoying this plenty. I think I want to see you cum on my fingers again.” 

Fingers pinching and flicking faster, you grow breathy and whiny, hips rolling against the seatbelt and back into the seat. Your muscles, all the way down your thighs and deep in your belly, jump and twitch each time his fingers run over your clit in just the right spot—that tender spot that’s so good that it teeters on overwhelming. The kind that makes you hiss and then want more. “Shit, Kai,” you whine. “Right—there, keep going."  

He doesn’t answer with any teasing words. No, he just doubles down right at that angle and pressure, leaned back into his seat and driving as if he wasn’t fingers-deep in your panties right now. His sculpted profile at total ease—it does something for you. A delicious tightness curls its fingers over your center, promising a sugary ecstasy that you can’t help but chase. Bucking into his hands as best you can, you go quiet. Right there—right there, you feel it. The cusp. Your fingers brush over it, clenching around nothing and squeezing your thighs tight around him. Every last drop of blood in your body reaches for it, singing and dancing through your veins and making you dizzy. 

And then he stops. Your mouth drops open, whiplashed and helpless to its slipping away from you. You whittle your gaze into something sharp and turn to him. “What—why?” you complain. The tide slips further and further and further back, but you still taste sea salt on your tongue. Frustration sets in its place as you feel it go. Seriously, you’d been right there. “You’re so mean.” 

He slows and then with the clicking of the turn signal, he’s off the road and pulling the truck into park on a little secluded side road. Where the headlights pierce the pitch black, nothing but gravel and field surrounds you. He doesn’t kill the engine, instead pulling his hand free from you. 

Your heart, still stuttering with your lost orgasm, kicks back to life as he smears your slick over your mouth, dragging it over your lips and then taking his thumb to run it right over the plush of your mouth. “Am I?” he says, fingers taking your chin to meet your eyes with his. Endless hunger, pupils so blown that his eyes look black, pins you. “I don’t think you’ve seen mean yet, baby.” 

Darting your tongue out to clean your lips, you look at him through your eyelashes. “Show it to me, then.” 

Something dark passes over his face. It has your skeleton jumping out of your body. Then, he says, “Is that what you want? You want mean?” 

Brain gone to mush that can only really think about him touching you, a slow nod is all you can manage. 

The engine’s hum prevails for some long, thick seconds. And then, he tilts his head in a gesture. “Get in the back.” 

Holy shit. You want to sit there frozen in an overwhelming sort of excitement, but his seatbelt clicks undone and you’re set into motion. In a flurry of giggles and clumsy limbs, you climb up over the center console and into the backseat. He slips out of the front seat, not bothering to even kill the engine. 

The door beside you opens in a swirl of cold wind. In nothing more than a blink, a strong hand has both your wrists pinned to the cushions and your back flush against it. Nose-to-nose, his breath hot over your face. “I’ve got plenty of ideas as to how I can warm you up.” 

You appreciate each other’s faces for a beat more, you looking up at him big-eyed and waiting. Kai breaks the moment to attack your neck in a procession of bites and kisses. Your mouth falls into a silent sound. 

“You know,” he says, free hand working your pants off. His eyes are trained on you, though. “I thought about doing this to you all summer. Touching you again.” He moves on to your top, pushing the fabric up until your chest is freed, clad in soft cotton. He eats the sight up. You want to reach down and cup the back of his head or feel his hair between your fingers as he presses his mouth against the soft beginning of your cleavage, but he’s got your wrists firmly planted. So much so, that you wonder exactly how he’s got you so secure with just one hand. Kai is strong, but maybe you hadn’t seen just how strong. Your skin aches under the purple bites he decorates you in. The sight of him—face in your chest and marking you up so lazily—has your teeth abusing your bottom lip. Whatever sounds you might make otherwise would be embarrassing. Kai lifts his eyes to you. “And I think you thought of me, too. Didn’t you?” 

“Oh, god, yes,” you say, writhing beneath him. He’s going so slow. You want him all over you. “So much.” 

He likes that. He takes your pebbled nipple into his mouth through the fabric. Soft grazes of teeth and sucks, you’re burning all over. When he pulls back, he’s left you dark wet patches when the bra had only just dried against your body heat. “Good,” he rasps, taking his big hands demanding and hungry over your torso. They swallow your frame up, soothing skin but lighting it aflame all the same. “Good girl.” 

You never thought just words could unravel you, but those did the job. Not a gasp, nor a sucking in of breath—no, you go silent and brainless, fumbling for rational thought. 

The dropping of your jaw has Kai delighted. “You’re so pretty,” he says. In a swift and powerful hoist, he’s tugging you down the cushions toward him with greedy fingers. He’s got your thighs pressed up to your chest. You’re bent right in half. 

Out of breath, you huff out, “You too.” 

A quick laugh falls from his mouth, lips pulled into a smug tilt. He nips at your calf up by his face. “So sweet, it almost makes me feel bad for what I’m about to do to you.” Reaching down for your panties, he pulls back on the suffocating press for only enough time to drag them up your legs. Those get discarded somewhere on the floor. Who cares about that right now, though? All you can register is the metallic clinking of his belt being undone. It’s got your nervous system twisting up. 

And, those words. Electricity shoots bolts of pure, sizzling revery into your core. What I’m about to do to you. You imagine a great deal of things that he might mean, but still, you think that none could hold a candle against the promise his voice held in saying it. 

Kai presses his body to your thighs and hooks your calves over his shoulders, and it all becomes real. The press of his heavy cock to your folds, the digging of his fingers into your outer thighs, his pretty eyes sparkling with something feral. As real as it gets—more real than anything you’ve ever felt in the entirety of your life. Your hands find perch flattened to his broad chest. 

The position leaving you two no option but to look right into each other, he holds your gaze and begins slow drags of his hot length up and down your slit. Tantalizing, awful, awful drags. When his tip nudges your eager clit, you jolt. And then he does it again. And again. 

“Kai,” you mewl. A press against your hole has you hopeful, and he lingers there for a moment, but doesn’t give it to you. Can’t he just fuck you? You’ve never been more pitifully in need of something in your life. 

“Shh.” His ruts get more daring, smearing your slick up onto your belly. “Take it.” 

You wiggle your toes in the air and make passes at arching yourself into him in search of better friction. He’s got you pressed so suffocatingly into the seat that it does absolutely nothing for you. In fact, he holds your harder and changes tack so that your thighs press together. At the very apex of them, his weeping cock slips through the seam. 

Pressing his cheek into your calf, he watches you. Every gasp and shaky inhale, he watches. It spurs his rutting on, sticky sounds and pants eating up the air. Your nails claw at his hands as, finally, a knot tightens in your core. 

“Yes, please,” you breathe. He fucks your thighs harder. Faster. Every nudge at your clit and hole becomes euphoric. “Kai, baby—I’m gonna—” 

Just as furiously easy as last time, he rips it all away from you. The rushing away of the buzzing and promise of shaking thighs—he takes it from you again. It brings prickling tears to your eyes. “Kai?” you hiss. “Again?” 

His eyes aren’t playful. He pulls your calves back over his shoulders, handling your hips into a better position to press his cock right at your entrance as if you weigh nothing. Face utterly straight, he says, “I don’t think you deserve it, do you? Not after what you did with Yeonjun.” 

A swallow goes down your throat hard. He presses himself just a bit harder into you. Not in yet, but right there. 

When he does begin sliding in, the stretch of it... You cling to him and squirm between him and the warm cushions behind you. Each inch is a heady feeling, all the way up to the hilt of him. He shudders a controlled breath. “You’re so fucking tight, though,” he grits out. “Did he not fuck you right?” 

Slaps of skin bounce off the car interior and between your bodies. He starts off at a brutal pace; you know it’s meant to make your brain go foggy. Squeezing your eyes closed, you manage, “I... didn’t fuck him.” It comes out strangled, voice bouncing as he fucks you into the car seat. 

Thumb tugging your bottom lip down and then dipping into your mouth, he watches the show of your ecstasy down to every last detail. “Yeah?” he says, voice shaking and almost desperate. “Always thinking of me, huh? Such a good little princess. You know exactly where your heart belongs.”  

You want to answer him, even just with a whine or moan. You try to. But with his thumb pressing down on your tongue, enough to pin it to the floor of your mouth, it’s not gonna happen. He tastes salty in your mouth. 

His truck consists of his grunts and whines, and your taut groans for some moments that seem to stretch forever. The planes of his groin grind against your clit when he delivers occasional pointed rolls, but mostly it’s just an animalistic, feverish dancing of your two sweaty bodies, holds growing more frantic the closer you get.  

Thumb wet with saliva; he frees your mouth. The hand trails slowly down your face and your chin, brushing feather touches, until he finds your neck. 

Your eyes fly open, wide. He pressed his fingers into your neck—no real pressure yet, he looks at you through damp strands of dangling hair and says, “Want my fingers around your neck?” His thumb brushes over the buzzing pulse point there. 

“Yes,” you grit out, body bouncing and back raw with friction against the coarse cushion’s surface. Your breath stutters, your mind stutters. Even your blinks stutter, eyelids too lazy to keep up. “Please.” 

The pressure of his fingers there—it frightens you and has you tightening around him at the same time. But you would trust nobody more with your life than Kai. 

He presses his cheek to your calf to indulge in the sight of you like this: underneath him, folded in two, nowhere to go but to take his pistoning hips, cheeks blazing, and his fingers pressed into your windpipe. If the way he becomes sloppier and more desperate in his tempo has anything to say for it, it does something for him. 

“Gonna be my pretty little girlfriend, huh?” he says. His voice is tight—so is your belly. You’re both so close. Hopefully, this time he’ll let you cum. “Take you to every show; show you off to everybody. Fuck.” 

Brain like static and swimming with a pinched flow of oxygen, you slur your words. “You’re—hah—gonna have other girls all over you.” 

The taunting, split-second raise of his brows flips your belly. You tighten around him again. If he keeps hitting that spot, tip ramming into the soft spot deep inside you that he’d taken such delicate care of finding last time, you’re going to burst into sparkling flame and firework. He growls, “Well, I’ll just have to knock you up so that they know I’m yours, huh?” 

Holy shit. You like the sound of that. Your nails dig into his wrist around your neck, but you cry out a pitchy, “Yes!” 

“Oh, you like that?” Kai releases your throat to take both your hips. You gulp for air, finding nothing but the thick air of sex and humid breaths, at the opportunity. He’s ramming into you like he’s found a purpose. “Isn’t this the perfect position to do it? Get you pregnant?” 

With every last bit of brain power you’ve got, teetering on the edge excruciatingly close to salvation, you groan a long, hoarse sound. “Fuck, yes! Please, Kai, inside—” A hot trail of tears roll down your temples. 

It’s all he’s got to hear to still inside you. His growl rumbles deep in his chest, holding you in place and filling you with his hot cum deep in your cunt. That feeling, coupled with his short grinds against your clit as he fucks his seed deeper, takes your soul by sinful claws and crumbles it down into nothing. You burst into a shaking, whimpering peak, sucking your lips into your mouth to bare through the sheer twisting of your insides and the flame that consumes up your thighs and cunt. 

He falls on you heavy, face in your neck. Warm kisses against your clammy skin meld with your slow floating down, the two of you a beautiful, nasty picture of fucked out. He stays right inside you—the absolute stillness of him, you think he has no plans of pulling out any time soon. His long fingers card through your sweaty locks of hair. 

Finally, he presses himself off you. You get a glimpse of the window behind him—fogged up and filthy with your affairs. Anybody to see the truck from the outside would know exactly what went on inside, but right now, you don’t care. Not one bit. Your panted breaths drag in nothing but musk and thick, hot air. The drumbeat in your chest tells you that, despite how you feel ripped straight from your body, you are very much still alive. More alive than ever. 

“Warm?” he says, pushing sticky hair off his forehead. He’s a mess, too. His hair is ruffled with your touch, his clothes rumpled the same, beads of sweat rolling down the planes of his cheeks and neck, and his eyes a lazy smolder. As much as he looks like sex personified, a soft smile twitches at his lips. 

You snort. You can’t help but feel giddy, here with him. You’re with him. Nothing has ever felt more right. Unplugged when he pulls out of you, your mess trickles down onto the seat below you. “Yeah,” you say. “Very.” 

Warm is not enough to begin to describe how you feel. In your ears, you hear whisperings. Soft and gentle. Perhaps it was divine intervention, or the fates lending you their word, or maybe just rational thought. It says: 

Home. You are home. 

✎୭ ashlynn's note how do we feel about this pair? i really didn't mean for this to get so long, but i ended up RLLY liking their chemistry. i had to do their story justice. also, i finished this with kai as a guitarist and then his drummer performance came out... hmm.

﹙🏷️ ﹚@lvrs-street2mmorrow , @soohashits , @f4iryfever , @arcturus444 , @linqed , @serenityism00 , @immelissaaa , @luv4cheol , @lickingan0rchid , @20-cms , @hhoneylix , @beestvng , @hyucktapes , @bewitchless , @prince-jjae , @blankliving , @yaoizee , @stormy1408 , @missychief1404 , if your tag isn't working, check the mentions part of your settings!

[hyukalyptus]

something nice — sub!fem!reader x dom!yeonjun x servicetop!kai

cw. reader is in an established (open) relationship with yeonjun, cucking? (kai eats reader's pussy while yj watches lol), cunnilingus ofc, nipple play, orgasm denial, edging, pet names (baby, jjun), begging, mention of "punishment" but nothing's ever done, yeonjun and kai talk about reader and what they're gonna do to her (without her understanding—everything is consensual in the beginning, but read note below), let me know if there's anything else. notes. IMPORTANT: ok so the tea with this one. the idea here is that the reader doesn't speak korean well and kai and yj are speaking korean to kinda talk about the reader and what they're gonna do to her so she doesn't understand. nothing aggressive, just describing what to do to her body so she's kinda surprised? SO!! anything in italics is in korean. thats important!! also idk how i feel about this???? smut under cut. wc. 1.5K

“Did she give you a reason or did she just break up with you?” You’re eavesdropping on Yeonjun and Kai—not that they’re being very secretive. They’re talking about a woman Kai’s been seeing while you play video games and attempt to translate in your head, but you're not being too successful, catching a few words here and there. 

“She did say one thing,” Kai says hesitantly. “But it’s kinda embarrassing.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” he starts, scooting closer to Yeonjun to awkwardly whisper something to him, twiddling his thumbs, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh,” Yeonjun chuckles. “That’s…man, if you get really good at that, you could date anyone.”

“What are you talking about?” You finally pause your game, curiosity getting the best of you. Looking up, Kai looks like you caught him stealing cookies from a cookie jar while Yeonjun tries to hold back a chuckle. The three of you exchange looks until Yeonjun rolls his eyes to bluntly say—

“Eating women out.”

“Yeonjun—!” Kai says, shoving his arm.

“What?” He chuckles, returning the shove. “I eat her out all the time. She knows what it is. She knows you eat pussy too.”

“But that’s why that woman broke up with you?” You ask. “Because you…you're bad at eating pussy?” He blushes, averting his attention to the floor while he clasps his hands together, nodding shyly.

“Be honest, babe—am I good at eating you out?”

Looking between the two of them, you sit up and say, “Yeah, you’re probably the best I’ve had, but we’re super compatible, you know? We’re, like, super in love. That makes a big difference sometimes.”

Holding back a cocky smile, he asks, “But, objectively, I’m pretty good, right?” You shrug and nod—really, he probably is the best you’ve ever had, but that’s another story. 

“What makes it good?” Kai asks.

Humming, you think before saying, “First, he doesn’t go straight for it.” Turning red and ears getting warm, you gush and— “Oh god, Kai, don’t look at me when I tell you this.”

“Ah, this is ridiculous,” Yeonjun exasperates. “Do you just wanna practice on her?” You both whip your heads in his direction. “If you’re comfortable with it, of course,” he says to you. “Just thought it might be helpful.” 

Oh, how did you end up here? Laying in Yeonjun's bed, clenching your thighs together out of nervousness. “Remember, this is kinda specific to her. Pay attention to what whoever you’re with wants.” Kai nods, kneeling at the foot of the bed.

“She already said this—” Yeonjun says. “I don’t go straight for it. I kiss her first, then make my way down there.”

“You want him to kiss me?”

He shrugs and says, “If you’re alright with that.”

“If you are,” you say, looking Kai in the eyes. Both of them can’t help but notice the confidence you seem to be exuding, especially compared to Kai. Trembling fingers reaching for your cheek, he looks at you for permission one final time. Finally leaning in, his lips press to yours. 

You’d forgotten what it was like to have a first kiss with someone. Kai’s kisses are different from Yeonjun’s. Kai’s are much more cautious, more careful—not necessarily shy, but careful. It quickly turns hot and heavy. But you remember Yeonjun is watching you, suddenly overtaken with bashfulness, you break the kiss to glance over at him. 

Him and that sinister smile. 

Turning back to Kai, you crash into his lips again, humming into his mouth and smirking to rub how much you're enjoying this in Yeonjun's face.  

“Touch her,” Yeonjun says. “Kinda slowly, but then a little more intense.” Kai does as he’s told, his hand dragging up your hip to squeeze your tits. “Under her shirt.” 

His hand on the outside of your bra feels new and exciting. Reaching around your back to unhook it, you break the kiss to take your shirt off, pulling at the hem of his. 

“Slow down for a second,” Yeonjun chuckles and Kai listens, placing gentle kisses to your collarbone. “Lick her nipples.” Swirling his tongue around your nipple, you gasp, reaching for his hair. “Pay attention to which one she likes better.”

Kai tests both, slyly licking between the two. After testing the waters, he picks correctly. You chuckle thinking about Yeonjun sitting on a chair across the room, smirking in approval. You could look for yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. 

“Keep licking her until her hips roll.” This is a bit crazy, isn’t it? The guy you love telling another man how to fuck you the way you like. “Not yet.” Yeonjun switches to Korean, making you roll your eyes. If you didn’t have the energy to translate in your head earlier, you definitely can’t focus enough to translate now.

Lips trailing down your body, he tugs at your shorts, but keeps your cute pink panties on. Yeonjun talks him through every move—to lick his thumb and rub your nipple, to press his nose to the outside of your panties, to skate his lips across your inner thighs. 

Your hips roll uncontrollably, practically begging him to taste you. 

“Kai—” You whisper, your body instantly burning at the sound of the both of them chuckling. Pulling your panties down and off your legs, he throws them to Yeonjun who happily wads them up to sniff them and smell how delicious you are. 

Licking his thumb again, he keeps rubbing circles over your nipple as he finally licks your clit, your back arching as soon as he touches it. 

“Fuck—” You say breathlessly, looking down at him as his eyes sparkle up at you, your head dropping to your pillow with a thud. “Who the fuck is this bitch that says you’re bad at this?” He shakes his head, digging deeper into your pussy. 

Smiling cockily, you look over at Yeonjun, trying to control his breathing. He can’t help it—the two of you are just too hot together. He's never been able to enjoy this kind of view before. Seeing how every part of your body reacts to being touched—it's an incredible view.

“Please tell me he’s allowed to make me cum, baby,” You beg.

“Of course,” he chuckles smugly. “If he can.” Kai’s eating you out like he’s absolutely starving. And it’s true—he can’t help it. You taste too fucking good. 

Your eyes squeeze shut as you start squeaking, throwing your head back. 

“Okay, that sound means she’s gonna cum soon. Try to bring her as close to the edge as possible and then stop.” 

“Fuck, Kai,” you breathe. “Right there—yes.” You can’t believe how good he is at this, especially given the reason you're under his tongue right now. He’s supposed to be bad at this, right? 

You’re so fucking close and he can feel it. “Don’t stop—” he brings you right there. And then he does it. He stops. “Agh, fuck you,” you groan. Looking down at him, his smirking at you, eyes flashing between you and Yeonjun. 

He doesn’t waste too much time before getting back to your pussy, flicking his tongue over your clit. 

“Take it away from her for a bit. Lick her nipples again.” He does just that. You’re aching, bucking your hips over and over, desperately trying to relieve some kind of tension. But his tongue does feel amazing on your tits. Threading your fingers through his hair, you tug at it hard. He groans, his mouth dropping open like you just unlocked a new kink of his. 

Now he can’t take it anymore. Hips jutting forward, you feel the roughness of his sweatpants drag against your center, relieving some of that tension. You gasp, resorting to begging him to get back to licking you. 

“No, don’t,” Yeonjun says sternly. 

“But I want to,” Kai whines back, looking at your pussy hungrily, sticking the tip of his tongue out, giving his best begging eyes. But Yeonjun just shakes his head, satisfied with watching you uncontrollably rolling your hips up toward Kai’s mouth. Kai compromises, wrapping his hands around the backs of your thighs to yank you closer to him and presses his lips to the skin right around your clit, teasing you even more. 

“Babe—” you breathe, begging Yeonjun with your eyes to let him continue licking you. 

“I know, baby, I know…” he responds, his voice low and rough. He finally lets him lick you again. But he doesn’t show much mercy. He repeats the same tactic over and over—having him bring you right to the edge, even to the point of tears, then he stops right in his tracks.

"I'm gonna tell you to stop, but I want you to keep going, okay?" Kai nods, agreeing to his instructions. Bringing you to the edge again, you're begging for mercy, begging to cum. "Don't let her cum, Kai," he says, making tears form in your eyes. "Stop—"

And he does.

"I told you to let her cum that time."

"Sorry," he smiles up at him, licking his lips. "It's so fun to see her beg like that though." Tilting his head toward you, he says, "Look at her...she's got tears in her eyes. Isn't that the hottest fucking thing you've ever seen?"

"It's okay, baby," he says, fingers flowing through your hair while Kai's mouth finds your clit again. You're moaning, gasping for air, swearing, screaming, anything to try to find a release. "Not yet. Don't let her fucking cum, Kai." You don't think you can handle this much longer. Edging is nice, yes, but this? This is bordering torture.

"Please, please, please, Jjun..." you trail off. "Just please let me cum. I can't take it anymore."

"I know you can take it, baby. Fucking taking it so well..."

It's building again. That knot in your stomach that gets tighter and tighter with every second. That white hot fire in the pit of your stomach waiting to explode.

"Don't stop, Kai," you blurt. "I'm gonna cum—" Slamming your palm over your mouth—you shouldn't have said that. He's gonna make you regret saying that.

"Don't let her cum," he orders.

But his grip gets tighter. His tongue licks furiouser. His face digs deeper. You're so fucking close. Closer than you've ever been tonight.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kai..." your orgasms crashes over you like a bolt of lightning. "Yes, fuck yes, that feels so fucking good." You feel like you're having an out of body experience. It's one of the best fucking orgasms of your life. "Don't stop, right there." You chest heaves with heavy breaths.

Coming down from one of the best orgasms of your life, your vision clears up and all you keep thinking is how much Yeonjun's gonna make you pay for this. You came without his permission—what's he gonna do now? Everything flashes across your mind: not letting you cum for a week, spanking you until your ass had his hand print on it, tying you up for hours, you're not sure.

But he doesn't do any of that. His hand caresses your cheek as he smiles down at you, "Did that feel good, baby?"

Confused, you nod, "Mhmm." You're still nervous, looking around at everyone's reactions. Kai's smirking while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Bad at eating pussy my ass," you say, shoving his shoulder with your foot.

"Ah, I knew you a had a little crush on him...I've seen how you look at him." Your face turns beet red. He's noticed that? Oh god... "I just wanted to do something nice for my baby."

[thetxtdevil]

The Seven Deadly Sins Masterlist

The TXT Devil's Ultimate Masterlist

Envy

The Envy & Jealousy Collection

Gluttony

The Fruit Collection

Pride

Tomorrow X Together Masterlist

Wrath

Enhypen Masterlist

Sloth

Daily Dirty Thoughts

Greed

The Hybrid Collection

Lust

Demons' asks/requests

[seoulzie]

blurred boundaries

WHEREIN: huening kai needs help with his...! MDNI

pairing: inexperienced!hyuka x f! reader genre: suggestive, smut warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing, desperate kai-ish, handjob

SEUL SPEAKS! this was only supposed to be suggestive but i got carried away.. this is my first time ever writing straight-up smut

the room was dimly lit by the soft glow of a single bedside lamp, casting a warm hue over the scattered books and papers. huening kai sat on the edge of the bed, his usually playful eyes filled with a mixture of anxiety and desire. you’d been friends for years, the kind of friendship that often teetered on the edge of something more, but had never quite crossed that line.

tonight felt different, though.

“kai, what’s up? you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” you teased, trying to lighten the tension that had settled between you.

he looked down, avoiding your eyes. “can we talk? about something serious?”

you nodded, moving to sit beside him on the bed. the silence stretched out, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. “of course. what’s going on?”

he took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper. “i… i need your help with something. and it’s not something i can ask anyone else.”

his words sent a shiver down your spine. “anything, kai. you know that.”

he finally looked up, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity you hadn’t seen before. “i need you to help me… with this.” his eyes flicked downward, and you followed his gaze, understanding dawning on you.

“oh.” it was all you could manage to say, the implications of his request hitting you like a tidal wave. am i really going to do this? to a friend? the thought echoed in your mind, the internal conflict rising.

“i know it’s a lot to ask,” he said quickly, his face flushing with embarrassment. “but i trust you, and… i don’t know how else to deal with it.”

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. this was uncharted territory, a step that could change everything between you. but the vulnerability in his eyes, the trust he was placing in you, was undeniable.

“okay,” you said softly, the word feeling heavy with the weight of your decision. “tell me what you need.”

his relief was palpable, and he reached out to take your hand, his touch warm and slightly trembling. “just… help me with this. please.”

you nodded, moving closer to him. your fingers brushed against his thigh, and you felt him shiver. the air between you seemed to crackle with tension as you leaned in, your lips hovering just inches from his.

“are you sure about this, kai?” you whispered, giving him one last chance to back out. your mind was still racing, questions and doubts swirling. this was huening kai, could you really cross this line?

“i’m sure,” he replied, his voice steady despite the vulnerability in his eyes. “i need you.”

with that, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting in a tentative kiss. it was soft at first, a gentle exploration, but quickly deepened as the desire between you ignited. his hands found your waist, pulling you closer as you shifted to straddle his lap.

you could feel the hardness of his arousal pressing against you, and it sent a thrill through your body. breaking the kiss, you moved to press your lips against his neck, eliciting a low groan from him.

“kai,” you breathed against his skin, “tell me what you want.”

his hands tightened on your waist, guiding your hips to grind against him. “i want you. all of you.”

you nodded, understanding his need and your own desire to fulfill it. slowly, you began to undress, each piece of clothing falling to the floor, leaving you exposed and vulnerable. his eyes roamed over your body, filled with a hunger that matched your own.

as you reached for the waistband of his pants, he caught your hand, his eyes meeting yours with a silent question. you nodded, giving him the reassurance he needed, and together you removed the last barriers between you.

the feeling of his skin against yours was electric, and as you moved to take him in your hand, his breath hitched in anticipation. you began to stroke him, slow and deliberate, watching the way his eyes fluttered closed, the way his lips parted in pleasure.

his breaths came in short gasps, and you felt the tension coiling in his muscles. you quickened your pace, your hand gliding smoothly over his length, the soft, slick sounds filling the room. his moans grew louder, and you could see the struggle in his expression, the way he tried to hold back.

“kai,” you whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to his parted lips, “let go. i’ve got you.”

his response was a deep, guttural groan, his hips bucking against your hand as he finally surrendered to the pleasure. you felt his release, warm and wet against your palm, and you continued to stroke him through the aftershocks, milking every last drop of his climax.

when he finally stilled, you released him, your hand sticky with his essence. he looked up at you, eyes glazed with satisfaction, and pulled you into another kiss, this one slow and languid, filled with gratitude and lingering desire.

as you pulled away, you reached into the nightstand drawer, retrieving a condom. his eyes widened slightly as he watched you tear open the foil packet, his breathing quickening once more.

“are we really doing this?” you asked, your voice soft, giving him one final chance to change his mind.

he nodded, his eyes locked onto yours. “i’m sure. please.”

you rolled the condom onto him with practiced ease, the sensation making him groan with anticipation. positioning yourself over him, you slowly lowered yourself onto his length, the feeling of him filling you completely sending waves of pleasure through your body.

the rhythm you set was slow at first, each movement deliberate and controlled, savoring the sensation of being joined so intimately. but as the pleasure built, your movements quickened, driven by a shared need. his hands roamed your body, caressing and exploring, heightening the sensations.

the sounds of your shared pleasure filled the room, a symphony of gasps, moans, and the slick, rhythmic slap of skin against skin. you felt the tension building within you, the familiar coil of impending release tightening in your core.

“kai,” you murmured, “i’m close.”

“me too,” he replied, his voice strained with desire.

with a final thrust, you felt yourself tip over the edge, the waves of pleasure crashing over you. he followed moments later, his body tensing beneath you as he found his release.

for a few moments, you lay together, catching your breath, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. you rolled off him, lying side by side, your fingers intertwining.

“thank you,” he said softly, turning to look at you. “for everything.”

you smiled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “we’re in this together, kai. no matter what.”

and as you lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, you knew that whatever lines had been blurred tonight, the bond between you was stronger than ever.

© 2024 seulzie

[lilykatelyn-blog]

first time w/ txt <33

ofc anon! <333

❤︎ Your first time with txt ❤︎

SEND IN A REQUEST

pairing: txt x reader

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: fingering, protected sex, pet names (baby, Jagi, Jagiya, babe, honey), kissing, making out, dirty talk, soft sex, cursing, Big Dick Yeonjunnie and Soobinnie, aftercare :), fem bodies in Tae’s and Soob’s, squirting.

❤︎Yeonjun❤︎

He’s soft, despite what everyone says, that’s what I think. He’ll take his time slowly fingering you because.. 9 inches- and my man is girthy, very girthy. He makes you cum at least twice on his fingers, and once on his mouth. Then comes the dick, and it was worth it. He moans so much at your tight hole, and you moan at how good he hammers into you. Let’s just say you passed out after that. His aftercare is so soft, he cleans you up with a towel, you two take a shower if you have the stamina (but you passed out). He gives you water and cuddles up to you whispering sweet nothings, and how well you did as you guys drift off <3

“mmh- J-Jagiya, taking me so- nngh, s-so well,” he whispered as he thrusted in quickly, watching your blissed out expression. God, he could almost cum to that. “J-jun~, so go-od,” You trailed off, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “Jun-n~, co-ming~.” You warned as you squirted all over him. “Fuck baby, nngh- coming too,” he told you as he thrusted a few more times before he stilled, painting your walls white.

❤︎Soobin❤︎

So so so sweet ❤️ He’s so soft prepping you, while praising you softly. He had it all planned, you would have champagne, watch a movie, then have sex (man had it in his plan notebook saying literally that 💀) also made sure he had multiple condoms and was clean. He slowly eased into you, waiting for you to adjust to his size, because let’s not lie, he’s BIG. And not like 6 inches big, but like 8-9 inches BIG. He has to hold back while slowly thrusting into you, because you’re just so tight and it just feels so good. For aftercare, he’s on another level, he runs a bubble bath, gets you water, food of youre hungry, and makes sure you’re comfortable. He’s just an all rounded sweetheart <3

You were on Soobin’s lap, champagne long forgotten. You swallowed each others moans as you both grinder on each other. “Babe- fuck.” He whispered pulling away and stopping you. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, just need to be inside you right now.” He muttered in your neck, lifting you up and leading you two into the bedroom, where you continued your make out session, sharing many kisses into the night.

❤︎Beomgyu❤︎

He makes it pleasurable, and something you noticed is, what he lacks in length, he makes up for in girth. THiCK, super thick. He’ll try to hold himself back, but he’ll fail. Honestly, more of a groaner than a moaner ngl. As he thrusts into you, he’ll either be praising and dirty talking or just dirty talking. He doesn’t have the patience to finger you, but he still will to some extent because he wants you to enjoy yourself as much as possible. For aftercare, he is so sweet and just smiled sheepishly and giggled at your fucked out expression.

“did I go too hard?” He asked, giggling and smiling as he gently lowered you into the bath. “just a bit.” You slurred and giggled a bit. “I’ll be back Jagi.” He ran to get you water. As soon as he got back, he joined you and.. well.. another round started as soon as you got out. “Nghhhhh- so good for me honey~” he grunted thrusting into you hard. You couldn’t do anything but moan. As you once again reached your high, you wanted him. “G-gyu.. co-cominnnngg~” you stammered. “Me too,” he groaned, hitting just the right spot as you squirted on his dick and he came in his condom.

❤︎Taehyun❤︎

boob man. I just know it. The first time you guys have sex, he’s all over them. He’s kissing them, fucking them, cumming on them, all the good stuff. Then he slowly fingers you until your hole is big enough to take him. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a bit of a stretch, but it’s less painful than it would have been. Ughhh, he is so into oral, just sucking at your clit so hard, making your brain go into oblivion, all words long gone and just incoherent noises remained.

“T-tae!” You screamed tugging on his hair for the nth time, as he made you cum on his mouth for the 2nd time that night. “Just one more Jagi, then I’ll fuck you until you can’t remember your own name.” As he licked up your slit again. “T-tae! Too sensitive! No more!” You moaned, trying to push him away but failing, after a while the pain turned into pleasure and you found yourself coming undone once again.

❤︎Huening Kai❤︎

also a big boob guy. Very big on it, always stuttering as he entered you. Only after fingering you and you blowing him. He has to physically force himself not to cum inside you after you cum. He enters back in after you cum, chasing his own high and eventually cumming all over your stomach and boobs.

“nngh, too tight!” He moaned, pulling out and jerking himself off after you came twice on his dick. You just watched the lewd scene as he came undone, moaning your name and collapsing. After he came to his senses, he got a damp towel and cleaned both of you up, giving you water and food. Then, you two cuddled and kissed through the night until you both fell asleep &lt;3

[soobinsonly1bf]

insecurities

(idol!hyuka x non-idol!reader)

warnings: nsfw, gn!reader, sub!hyuka, softdom!reader, hyuka being insecure, A LOT of praise, masturbation in front of a mirror, fluff, a little bit of dacryphilia (i think), petnames (angel, baby, love, good boy), it's just so soft tbh

!!nsfw under the cut, minors dni!!

he's just so pretty, the prettiest boy you've ever seen. how is it possible that this pretty angel was snuggled up to you right now? his soft hair tickling your skin as he hid his face under your chin. you know it was a rough day for him, you watched the live he made today with one of his group's members.

"baby, wanna talk about today's live?" you ask suddenly, your tone as gentle as possible. you keep on caressing his back slowly, your other hand in his blonde hair.

"there's nothing to talk about..." he mumbles into your neck. you sigh, pulling him away to look him in the eyes.

"you know there is." you look at him, your expression worried. you're truly worried about your amazing boy and he just pouted in response. "listen to me, we're gonna do something."

he just nods at you, after a moment saying "alright..." with a hint of confusion. you chuckle, he's just as cute as always.

"close your eyes for me, okay angel?" you say and he immidiately obeys, closing his eyes.

he sits there on bed, his eyes closed, curiously listening to the noises around him, wondering what are you doing. soon you sit behind him and he softly gasps in surprise when your hands wrap around his waist.

your hands make their way under his shirt, gently caressing his belly. you kiss his ear, chucking softly when he sighs. "i love you so much, you know? you're so perfect... so pretty, so smart, so kind, so amazing and oh so talented. the most perfect boy in the whole world." he pouts again at your words and you can't help, but want to kiss the pout off of his face.

soon you were kissing all over his neck, your hand much lower than before, playing with the waistband of his boxers. his breath got faster, but he still keep his eyes open and don't even say a word.

you're the one to break the silence. "can you do something for me? only if you want." you ask.

"do what?"

"touch your pretty cock for me. don't open your eyes tho, okay?" he can't help the little whine leaving his lips at your words alone. his hand immidiately goes into his boxers, gently taking his dick into hand and pulling it out. "yeah, just like that, now touch yourself. make yourself feel good for me." you whisper into his ear, your hand caressing his arm.

he starts stroking himself, at first slowly, as if he's embarrassed and of course he is. his big hand going up and down on his already hard cock, precum visible on the tip.

"you really are so good for me, doing just as i say... you love being my good boy, don't you? because you really are one." he whimpers at your words, little "yes, yes, i am" whimpers leaving his mouth.

"you're so pretty like this, your cheeks are already so red, you know? open your eyes now." he does as you say and his hand stops in shock. he looks at himself in the reflection of the mirror, that's standing right in front of the bed, leaning on the wall. now he knows what you were doing earlier...

"love, don't stop. keep touching yourself." you say, kissing his cheek. he starts stroking his length again, as slowly as before.

"you're always pretty... your nose is so perfect, you see it? look at you, you're just perfect. your eyes are so pretty too, keep them open for me." he whimpers, he's so embarrassed, but he can't even stop his hand, it feels too good.

"i love your hair, you look so pretty in every color you do... how is it even possible? and you smell so nice, i could just inhale your scent non-stop." you keep on complimenting, praising him. his legs are trembling already, he's fighting to not close his eyes or throw his head back in pleasure. he can't even keep his noises down, whimpers and whines echoing in the room every five seconds.

"god, you're so perfect, i just can't believe i'm holding you right now... you're so unreal. you deserve the whole world and i'm gonna make sure you know how loved you are." his hand moves much faster, you can see the tears gathering in his eyes.

"wanna- wanna cum... please, i- can i- oh god..." he mumbles, tears starting to stream down his cheeks.

"hey, hey, shh, no need to ask me... go on, cum for me, let me know how good you're making yourself feel. my pretty boy, the prettiest, crying because he feels oh so good..." you say, your voice as gentle as possible.

soon he sobs out loud as he cums. his cock twitching, going up and down by itself until he shoots the last drop of sperm...

"oh baby, are my words enough to make you cum that much? you're so cute..." you say, turning his head and kissing him softly on the lips. "you did so good for me, i'm proud of you." you say as he just looks at you with fucked up expression and teary eyes.

[bee-the-loser-recs]

~☼ My Huening Kai One-shot Fic Recs ☼~

𖤓 Apple Cider By @wave2tyun 3.5k, childhood friends to lovers, very fluffy, piano prodigy Kai, school au, slight injury

𖤓 Policy of truth and lies By @wave2tyun 3.3k, high school au, band!TXT, brother's best friend trope, Soobin is reader's brother, hidden relationship, sneaking around, fluff, getting caught, a bit suggestive

𖤓 #Kai when he can't control his strength By @majestyjun NSFW, straight up smut, shower sex, established relationship, hard thoughts

𖤓 Rose gold By @beomanamilk Drabble, established relationship, watching the sunset, cuddling on a blanket, affirmations of love & trust, fluff, really cute

𖤓 Know your place. By @koqabear 3.9k, established relationship, smut, jealousy, alcohol, being incredibly aware of interactions, exhibitionism (rest of txt is there)

𖤓 Wish me luck? By @koqabear 6.2k, Taehyun x reader x Huening Kai, idol au, make up artist reader, mentions of the other members, smut, slight fluff, part of a mini rockstar series

𖤓 Falsies By @forlovvers 500, established relationship, sleepy Kai, fluff, taking off fake lashes, Kai is slightly scared of them, really cute

𖤓 Advantage By @huexuri Roommates au, mentions of attempts to play piano, smut, slight fluff, changing up the dynamic, friends to lovers

𖤓 How it's done By @huexuri Established relationship, sharing a bed, smut, slight fluff, mentions of sleeping better next to Kai

𖤓 Perfect man By @txtaetertots 4k, friends to lovers, reader works at the cafe in Hybe, pining Kai, everyone sees his crush, reader is older than Kai, flirting, having to be more forward

𖤓 A bed in your shape & A life in your eyes By @jjunieworld 1.4k & 7k, ex-friends to lovers, angst, childhood best friends, past feelings, Kai has a toxic ex, reader dated Taehyun for a little bit, parties, smut, slight fluff, kind of asshole Kai, slice of life

𖤓 Spin the bottle By @jjunieworld 1.4k, college au, college parties, strangers to ??, fluff, alcohol and drinking, inexperienced reader & Kai, introvert/wallflower reader, playing Spin the bottle

𖤓 Two best friends in a room By @beomgyuslilracha 7k, non-idol au, best friends to lovers, really affectionate friends, fluff, cluelessly in love idiots, slight angst, cute, mentions of drinking, childhood friends

𖤓 TXT!staff imagine - Huening Kai By @beomgyuslilracha 1.1k, slice of life, reader works with TXT, having to move back to your old job, slight angst, fluff, strong friendship, friends to lovers, turning plushies around to kiss

𖤓 Busy signal & Fit check & Wake up call By @biteyoubiteme 4.7k & 3k & 1.39k, Yeonjun x reader x Kai, established relationship, polyamorous, smut, slight fluff, suggestive photos, trying on outfits, gifts from a partner, being woken up after a night out, slight tipsiness

𖤓 Yeonjun exposes y/n’s crush on kai in the groupchat By @wooyukh SMAU, mutual crushes, meddling friends, exposing a friend's crush, trying to hide feelings, teasing, cute, all the members being aware of reader's feelings

𖤓 Kai and his idol gf By @jjunberry Drabble, established relationship, public relationship, idols in love, Kai being a big stan of your group, talking about them during a live

𖤓 Just a neighbour & Cry for me By @dearlyjun 2.7k & 1.6k, hot neighbour Kai, getting over a break up, hooking up, smut, slight fluff, making out, kind of fwb relationship, wearing his clothes, more of an established relationship in part two

𖤓 Fratboy Huening Kai By @rainbowhao Headcanons, slightly dumb Kai, forward reader, flirting, teasing, complimenting one another, spending the night in his room, sweet, fluff

𖤓 Into you By @beomnoullistheorem 3k, hooking-up, having real feelings for one another, wanting to develop the relationship, hook-up to lovers, smut, slight fluff

𖤓 Stars on windows By @stars4ni 1.9k, established relationship, road trip, buying snacks, gas station, suggestiveness, smut, slight fluff, cute

𖤓 Make it fit By @jeongin-lvr 1.15k, established relationship, straight up smut, needy reader & Kai, implied first time together

[sunoooism]

› summary : what txt do when you're feeling sad ! (separately)

› fluff , comfort / wc: 691

› warnings : mentions of sadness, little bit of crying, a few kisses, hand holding, not proofread, gn!reader. muias writing comeback ?? 😓 literally praying this shows up in tags caused it's queued. ALSO, I WILL NOT HAVE ANY PORRIDGE SLANDER.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⊹

choi yeonjun

→ cooks for you

you sniffle as yeonjun places a bowl of porridge in front of you, wiping your watery eyes with the ends of your knitted jumper. "thanks, 'jun."

"of course, pretty." he smiles, leaning down to dab at your damp cheeks. you let him do it for you, his touch so delicate, as though he thought you'd crack without it. he finished his ministrations with a tender kiss to your puffy cheek.

"'m gonna get some jam for your porridge."

your face lights up a little. "raspberry ?"

you can hear yeonjun chuckle as he rummages around your cupboards, fetching an unopened jar of jam before he makes his way back to you and your steaming bowl of oats.

"duh, what else." his lips quirk up as he let a dollop of the sweet spread melt into your food.

choi soobin

→ takes you on a walk

you let out a yawn, the chilly air filling your lungs as you continued strolling down the narrow road with your boyfriend. his gloved hand was tightly clutching yours, making sure to keep you on the inside of the pathway and away from moving cars.

"you look so cute, all bundled up like that." soobin chuckles, staring down at you with his scarf and earmuffs practically swallowing you whole. and a fluffy coat that fell past your knees just like he insisted.

"I really think you should have worn gloves like I said..."

"binnie, I'm fine, I promise." you smile lovingly, leaning against his side as he kept your hands warm in his. with him, you already felt better and your heart a little lighter.

choi beomgyu

→ tries to cheer you up with his jokes

"what ? you didn't think that one was funny ?"

he's grinning, and you're trying your absolute hardest not to as well. your hardest wasn't enough though, apparently.

as soon as Beomgyu sees your lips quirk up —even if it's the smallest smile to ever exist— he's wrapping you in his arms and squeezing tightly.

"ah, see ! you do think I'm funny !"

it's not even the joke itself that makes you laugh. his smile is contagious, and even if you wanted to stay sad and wallow in self pity some more you couldn't, he wouldn't let you.

"mmm, maybe a little..." your arms slip around his waist, squeezing him back as you sigh contently into his warmth.

kang taehyun

→ reads to you

you gazed up at taehyun as your head rested on his chest. just simply admiring him while he read to you. his voice was gentle and soft, adoring brown eyes flicking across the page. you had always loved when he'd read to you, especially when you were feeling down. he always managed to help.

he stole a quick glance at you, wondering if you'd maybe fallen asleep because of your stillness and silence. but when he caught you staring he let a small smile stretch out on his lips.

"do I have somethin' on my face ?" taehyun chuckles, placing a thumb in-between the pages of the book so as to not lose his place. you smile in return and brought a hand up to the hair which framed his face, tucking it away from his eyes and behind his ear.

"no. jus' wanted to look at you."

he grins, pressing a chaste kiss to the tip of your nose before continuing to read to you.

huening kai

→ doesn't let go of you

your room was blanketed with darkness, soft breaths and whispers of sweet nothings filled your head. the gentle scent of kai's cologne wafted around the cozy room. your boyfriend had you pressed against his chest, and he made sure to keep you close when he tangled his legs with yours.

"are you feeling a bit better ?" he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he let his thumb draw circles on your lower back. you hum at the soothing action, sighing contently into his chest.

"mhm, 'm feelin' a little better. thank you, hyuka."

kai smiles and presses a warm kiss to the top of your head, pulling you even closer until your nose was pressed into the juncture of his neck. the two of you lay there with one another in a comfortable silence, exchanging tender and chaste kisses as the melancholic feeling faded from your body.

©sunoooism

[hueshy]

pair: hueningkai x f! reader

warnings: drinking, reader is kind of stupid, overthinking, not proofread.. thats all, if i missed one or two lmk

genres: fluff, reader gets cute aggression because of kai, bad angst cause i don't know how to write it

you and the members are doing your daily hangout on fridays, playing videogames and laugh at the one who lost, drink until nobody knows where they are or what they’re talking about.

but today, something feels off

every one is bickering as usual but kai, you couldn’t help but notice at the way he's unusually quiet. hiding his mouth with his sweaterpaws, shy, quiet responses while his cheeks are naturally colored

dear god

you couldn’t take your eyes off of him, biting your lip whenever he speaks and pinching the pillow on your lap when his bangs slightly cover his eyes. ever since you sat on this couch you had the strongest desire to hug him tightly while you squealed on how adorable he is

if you did just that, he wouldn’t be weirded out right? he would receive the hug happily and giggle along with you, you think

soobin has noticed you staring at kai for awhile now, giggling on how mesmerized you look at the sight of kai and also how obvious you are, obvious to everyone but kai himself.

he approaches you and says,

“you’re clear as a crystal you know,” you hear a deep voice next to you, it’s soobin, you stare at him like he has grown two heads “what do you mean?”

he stares at kai who’s sat in the couch playing games with beomgyu then back at you, “do you like him?”

“…what?” he shrugs, “just curious”

you scoff and playfully roll your eyes, slowly mouthing a ‘no’ before going back to the couch to sit next to kai “who’s winning?” asking the two but eyes only looking at him. kai suddenly goes silent, you furrow your eyebrows and open your mouth to voice your worry but beomgyu beats you to it. “what’s wrong huening? why are you so suddenly quiet? you were so talkative just now" red cheeks, eyes staring down at the controller in his hands, everything but you, red ears.. oh? " don’t tell me—“ beomgyu looks at you for a second, “shut up!” “oh it is, isn’t it?” he teases, smirking. “what? what’s wrong? tell me!” you whine, desperate to know what’s up so suddenly.

“nothing! beomgyu-hyung is just being annoying” kai answers, irritated

you hum, furrowing your eyebrows once again, “is he really? c’mon tell me beomgyu!” as soon as you glare at him he nonchalantly shrugs, the dimple on his cheek appearing as he was smilling too hard

“ugh i was planning to share my chips with you beomgyu but not anymore traitor”

although he looked absolutely endearing when 'shy', you didn't like how quiet he is whenever you're around. he was practically ignoring you, but why? 'does he hate me now? what did i do? why is he barely speaking to me? we we're just fine 4 days ago..'

'is this the thing him and beomgyu didn't want to tell me? then why was beomgyu so chill and smilling about it?' negative thoughts ran through your mind back and forth, your heart starts to hurt.

"are you okay?" a soft, husky voice greets your ear, a whisper of an angel..

your dear friend, how could you forget he was next to you?

"i'm fine, not in the best mood" you hear a weak hum and a small, 'is that so?'

you continue watching the screen infront of you, you totally forgot you and the others were watching a movie but soon all of them fellasleep but you and kai

a finger taps your shoulder

"..would a hug from hueningie cheer you up?" he opens wide his arms while smiling softly, bangs now swept to the side, exposing his forehead, is this heaven?

the smile on his face fades seeing your hesitance, arms not as widespread as before

you feel horrible

you wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him, a sweet scent of vanilla drown your senses “..i’m sorry” he whispers into your ear, warm breath hits your cold skin, “it’s my fault right?” you nod against his shoulder, you gulp before saying “you hate me”

“no, no, you got it wrong! it’s just..” he whines and hides his face in your hair, your tummy fills up with butterflies at the action “i.. i recently figured out something, n-not something negative, well.. depends on how you take it” you feel his shaking fingers play with the ends of your hair

you stay in silence, waiting for him to speak up, you hear a shaky breath above you “i think i like you— no, i’m inlove with you, ..i, the way you make me feel, i didn’t know the exact name for it but now i do, y/n.. if you don’t feel the same way please—”

"you're not lying to me right?" kai's eyes widen "no of course not! i would never—" you take his face in your hands, closing the gap between you and him by bit, "then, would you kiss me?" he finds himself nodding uncontrollably, repeating 'yes' over and over again. "yes, yes.. would.. would you.. let me?" he stutters, you could feel the way his cheeks were burning hot, so cute, why would you say no?

"of course"

he kisses you, tangling his fingers on your hair and bringing you closer to him, he backs up for air then smashes his lips on yours

"you're so— desesperate to kiss me aren't you?" you laugh

"yes.. yes i think ive liked you for so long but i didn't realize until now” sighing he leans closer to you, foreheads kissing. “we.. are a couple now, right?” you hum and shrug after, “obviously, we just kissed”

“..good to know, question.. can we do it again?—“

"eww what the fuck! yn and kai are making out on my couch!" an annoying voice says behind you, you roll your eyes

“beomgyu!”

[hyukakisses]

— yandere hyuka headcanons!

pairing: huening kai x reader!!

plot: just random yandere hyuka thoughts!!

warnings: english is NOT my first language, nothing i write should be taken seriously, (SMUT!), emo, mean, brooding, yandere hyuka basically dating sweet reader who’s a loser too kinda.. (probably a lot more warnings to list)

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

-yandere hyuka who would avoid you at first at all costs, internally cursing at himself to not fall for you each time you waved at him during school with a gummy smile on your face

-yandere hyuka who would groan quietly to himself when he saw your perky self walk over to his empty lunch table, screaming at himself ‘don’t sit here please don’t sit here’ only to smile when you sat next to him

-yandere hyuka who would look forward to seeing you; not wanting to admit it because he’s stubborn but he even learned your schedule just so he can have an excuse to talk to you <3

-yandere hyuka who would act like he hated your clinginess, but secretly loved how you needed him; he just hated how you kept calling him ‘the bestest friend ever!’ but he managed

-yandere hyuka who would eventually gifts you things, nonchalantly sighing at your thank yous. “for me? hyuka you’re the best! thank you!” you’d squeal hugging the taller male, you were excited that your bestfriend gifted you a stuffed animal however you were aware of the hidden cameras planted in them. “yeah yeah tell anyone about this and i’ll kill you alright?”

-yandere hyuka who shamelessly got himself off using your used panties, that was if you weren’t in your room touching yourself of course. hyuka hated how badly he wanted you

-yandere hyuka who grew bored of just watching over your room through his monitors, and waited until you were gone to the mall to snoop around your bedroom. pretend to cringe at how much pink was is in but secretly loving how cute you had everything set up. grinning mischievously as he looks under your bed to find your journal

-yandere hyuka who would melt at your journal entries, reading over and over again about how much you loved the black haired male, how much you craved for his love and validation hoping to god the emo boy just noticed you and reciprocate the same feelings back :(

-yandere hyuka who would print out your entire journal, making copies so he can sneak back your precious notebook before you could notice. his ego inflating every time he re reads them <3

-yandere hyuka who would subtly show that he wanted you from now on, buying polar opposite matching bracelets from hot topic bringing them to school the next day. “give me your arm” you obeyed with a confused blink, before letting out a gasp in shock. “hyuka! thank you! i’ll treasure this with my life!” you hugged your arm once huening kai place the bracelet on you. hyuka rolling his eyes resisting to smile

-yandere hyuka who would try to act annoyed when you begged to go over his house, “fine but you better bring those sour patch candy i like so much” but deep down hyuka was excited for you to comeover immediately shutting off the surveillance vidoes on his monitors

-yandere hyuka who finally asked you to be his girlfriend after months of being just friends, cringing at the loud squeals and giggles you’d let out when you replied with an eager yes, immediately latching his lips onto yours as in attempt of shutting you up

-yandere hyuka who would mansplain to you about whatever video game he was playing, squinting his eyes at you when you kept losing, “no you idiot i already told you press down on circle then press on square are you deaf??” “n-no” “okay so stupid then”

-yandere hyuka who was obsessed with eating you out, getting drunk on how your pussy tasted and on the sweet sounds you’d make when you were close <3

-yandere hyuka who would quickly go from nonchalant to possessive and controlling when you two got together, “oh you are so not leaving in that outfit get changed” “i don’t want you hanging out with that girl anymore you hear me? im your boyfriend im all you need” “why can’t you see that you need me?” “you better not leave me or i swear to god i’ll kill you”

-yandere hyuka who would often make you cry due to his mean nature, but always gained your forgiveness whenever he’d baby you and apologize, even if he didn’t feel sorry he just knew it was something you needed to hear

໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১⠀ ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১

a/n: i missed writing ;(

[hyukalyptus]

or else what? —hueningkai x fem!reader | enemies to enemies with benefits(?). NSFW/MDNI!

cw. mean dom!kai, reader and kai are mean to each other, feat. soob and yj and their partners for a very short amount of time (not in smut part tho), camping, reader is a type A boss bitch kinda person, mentions of rain, kissing, hair pulling, mean names (slut, stupid, dumb, loser), pet names (baby), sex, light restraining, ruined orgasms, biting, nipple play, some dacryphilia, maybe a lil bit of publicness? (theyre at a campsite but implied no one else can hear anything), creampie, reader is embarrassed that she did stuff w kai and tells him, reader has a dog, reader is good at video games, chubby!reader implied, lmk if i missed anything! notes. im usually not one for mean stuff, im way more of a softie, so i tried something new but im quite nervous about it. oh! and this is based off a thought i posted the other week. lmk what ya think ;) smut under cut. wc. 4.1K

“Why are you being nice to him?” You snap at your dog who is currently greeting your friends at your front door. Normally, you wouldn’t mind, of course, but they have taken a particular liking for Kai. Apparently, you’re the only person in the world that hates him. Kai that is. The constant laughing, the sickeningly sweet optimism, and his sheer humility—it all screams fake to you.

You hate every little thing about him and he hates you right back. The way you disagree with everything he says just because, how you’re always pointing out when he’s wrong, how you seem to be depressingly pessimistic. You put up with each other for the sake of your friends—not everyone in every friend group has to get along, right? 

“Nice to see you too.”

“Someone separate them please?” Soobin asks. “I can’t deal with another argument right now.” He rubs his temple out of caution.

Everyone’s over for a game night—Soobin, his partner, River, as well as Yeonjun, and your best friend, Sage, who has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with him since they met. Right now, they’re off, but definitely still friendly. 

“How about some Smash Bros?”

“No,” you say to Kai. “Mario Kart.” 

“River and I have been talking about playing Smash Bros all day.”

“Not my problem.”

“How about we take a vote?” He suggests. You reluctantly agree, watching as you’re the only one that raises your hand to play Mario Kart before you glare at Sage, guilting them into voting for it too. Regardless of their vote, though, it’s still four against two. Kai sticks out his tongue at you just to rub it in your face. God, you hate it when he wins. 

“Maybe you should stop pouting,” Sage says, nudging your shoulder. “Beat him in the next round. You know you’re better than anyone here.” You take the opportunity to easily—and quickly—beat Kai in a one-on-one match. Now it’s his turn to pout while he grabs a snack. 

Luckily, everyone makes it through the night without any blood or tears shed but when the group’s annual camping trip comes up, the cold weather mixed with the prolonged close proximity to people leads to a grumpy Kai arguing with an even grumpier you. 

The reason behind the initial argument is long forgotten—you’re seemingly arguing over anything and everything from you stopping too often to take pictures to him taking sips from your water bottle, which he insists was an accident. Everyone’s keeping you two as far apart from each other as possible, with him leading the pack and you bringing up the rear. 

“It looks like it’s gonna rain soon,” River points out. “We should probably set up camp.” Everyone agrees, setting sights for the campsite. 

“What do you think about this spot over here, Sage?” You ask but are immediately answered with the guiltiest look from them, eyes glancing between you and Yeonjun. “Don’t tell me.” You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day. “You’re back together?” You ask quietly.

“Please don’t be mad,” they say. “It’s going really well this time.” 

“I didn’t bring another tent.” 

“Kai’s tent is huge,” Sage says, loud enough for Kai to hear, as if they’re making a suggestion to him. “Can she stay with you?” 

“I thought Yeonjun was sleeping in my tent.” 

“I was gonna stay in Sage’s,” Yeonjun responds, with an attempted wink. Everyone looks between each other, dodging each other’s eyes, no one wanting to give in. Everyone’s desperate to stay with their partners but you and Kai are desperate to not spend a single second alone together. Soobin and River won’t budge. Sage’s pleading eyes looking at you added to the pleading eyes Yeonjun sends Kai, you look at each other before he finally agrees—

“Fine,” Kai says, dropping the poles to the ground. “You gotta finish setting it up though. I’m gonna go get some water and refill the cooler with ice,” he says, leaving you with an impossible task. There’s a reason you didn’t bring your own tent.

Struggling with the tent for at least thirty minutes, it’s even less put together than when Kai turned the task over to you. The two couples have snuggled into their tents for the night and the drizzle is quickly turning into a downpour. Soaked, cold, and annoyed, Kai’s making his way back to you, anger etched all over his face when he doesn’t have a dry tent to walk into. 

“Do you not know how to put a tent up?”

“No, actually I don’t.”

“I could’ve set up three tents by now,” he says, but doesn’t have time to be much madder—he’s gotta get a roof over his own head. Without speaking, he takes over completely, getting it up in about ten minutes. It would’ve been quicker if he didn’t have to work in the rain. 

Settling in, you try to dry the parts of the interior that got wet from the rain, but it doesn’t help much. He peels off his now-soaked shirt and searches for a dry one. 

“Ah, that was my last t-shirt.”

“I’m sorry. I tried—”

“I don’t care,” he stops you, holding his hand up.

Falling silent, you change the subject, “What took you so long anyway?”

“I was talking to someone at the ice machine for a while,” he says matter-of-factly, holding up his laptop. “Wanna watch a movie before bed?” 

“No.” You lay your head on the stupid camping pillow hoping for some rest. But your plan is disrupted by the blaring trumpets of a movie intro. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Watching a movie.” 

“Turn it off.” 

“I didn’t ask for permission to watch it,” he points out. “I asked if you wanted to join me.”

“Isn’t it gonna bother the other campers?”

“Doubt they can hear it.”

Frustrated, you roll over and cover your ears. You thought you could sleep through anything, especially with the rain pouring outside, but you were wrong. Eventually, you give up, throwing your pillow down and slamming his laptop shut.

“What are you doing? You asshole—” he snaps, glaring at you. 

“Me? You’re the ass for not letting me sleep,” you fire back, narrowing your eyes. 

“I wasn’t supposed to have you in here anyway,” he mutters. 

“I’m not an asshole,” you say defensively.

“Yes, you are,” he spits. “You always have to have it your way.”

“I’m not having this argument with you,” you say, turning away and trying to block out his escalating anger. You pull the thin camping blanket over your head, desperate for some peace.

He huffs, clearly frustrated, but you ignore it. The sound of rain tapping against the tent becomes your only solace. Minutes pass in silence, each second stretching longer than the last. You can feel his restless energy beside you, the tension almost palpable.

“I can't believe you. You're so annoying,” he says. 

You simply lay there, trying to block out the muttering under his breath. The stickiness of the damp sleeping bags and the cold camping pillow are ridiculously uncomfortable.

Remembering the clean, dry blankets you have stored in the trunk of your car for emergencies and you get up to grab them silently, ignoring his insults. Returning with them, his eyes light up and he asks, “Where did you get those?”

“My car,” you answer nonchalantly, setting up your new bed. You try to salvage what you can of the sleeping bag to have some kind of barrier between the damp tent floor and your blanket, but it’s not perfect. Eventually settling on the makeshift bed, you can feel Kai staring at you through your closed eyelids. “Can I help you?” You ask without opening them.

“Aren’t you gonna share those with me?”

“Why would I?”

“You’re the one that got our other blankets and the tent all wet.” 

“Not my fault you didn’t bring back-up.”

He exasperates, clearly done with you and all your…what does he call it? Selfish nonsense? “I can’t believe I have to share a tent with you. And you get it all wet in here and won’t even share the dry blankets with me?” 

“You think I'm happy about this either?" Your arms flail before you go on one of your famous rants. “I don’t even like camping but I come along with Sage because they’re my best friend and I was looking forward to spending time alone with them to talk but because they decided to start fucking Yeonjun again I have to sleep in a tent with you, which you make me put together even though I don’t know how to put it together so its disgusting in here and you expect me to share my blankets with you? You’re never nice to me why the fuck would I share them with you? You’re always making me look like a bitch in front of everyone when I know you’re just—”

Kai suddenly yanks you by your elbow and says, “Would you please just shut up?” 

Seeing him this mad…you don’t know if he’s ever looked like this. Red in the face, eyebrows furrowed, not to mention he’s still shirtless since all his clothes are soaked. You look over his body—you’ve never seen him before—and you realize just how muscular he is. Broad-shouldered, defined pecs and ripples in his arms, particularly the one gripping you so harshly. 

You smirk at him before saying, “Make me." Looking over your face, he doesn’t know what comes over him. Maybe it's anger or frustration or the ambiance from the sound of rain against the tent and the small camping lamp, but he can’t help it. 

Crashing his lips into yours, you’re taken by surprise. You feel the power his plush lips give off, but only for a second before you push him off. 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“I don’t–I don’t know, I, uh…” He stutters, trying to find something—anything—to say, but no luck. Looking at each other, something clicks like we need to have each other now. 

You pull him to you by cupping his cheeks and crashing your lips into his quickly, eagerly, desperately. Hands in his hair, his on your hips, he squeezes your chubby thighs, wanting more, but—

“Woah, woah, woah, what’s happening? You and I are making out?” He asks, shock etched across his face as his eyebrows furrow. 

“Well, not anymore.” You look at him confused. “Did you forget you’re the one that kissed me first?”

“That was just so you’d shut up.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want me. I see you staring at my tits all the time.” You smirk at him and his eyes shift, admitting guilt. Realization hits you. “...Is that why you’re such an ass to me? Because you’re sexually frustrated whenever you’re around me? Do you…like me?”

“No,” he says defensively. “I hate you actually. You’re so annoying.” He rolls his eyes. “But the most annoying part about you is how much I wanna fuck you.” Your eyes widen, but a smile slowly spreads across his face before he asks, “Is that why you’re such an ass to me?” Leaning in closer, he examines your face, looking for any sign of weakness. “It is, isn’t it?” You shake your head. “Say it.” 

“Kai.”

“I wanna hear you say you want me.”

The quickest, most disingenuous, “I want you,” comes out of your mouth. Did you really just say that? It’s not like you haven’t noticed how handsome he’d gotten recently, but it’s also not like you’ve ever thought about doing anything. Before tonight, the thought of him even touching you made your skin crawl. But right now, you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anyone more. Reaching for him, you add, “Now shut up and fuck me.” 

Still shirtless from when he peeled off the wet fabric a few minutes ago, he tugs at the hem of your tank top. Slipping it off you, his eyebrows raise at your bare chest—full and needing to be squeezed, which he does immediately. Your nipples perky and hard from arousal and the cool air are simply begging to be sucked. His warm, welcoming and wet lips wrapped around one elicit a sound from you that you hope is covered by the rain outside. 

The others would never let you live it down if they heard you two fucking. 

Mouths all over—his on your nipples and your collarbone, yours on his mouth and his shoulders—it’s a whirlwind of kisses and pure lust. 

“I hate you,” you murmur, adding a nice hair tug for good measure. 

“I hate you too,” he responds. “So much.” The tent, damp from the rain and hot breath warms you up, skin slick with a sheen of sweat. Sleeping bags and blankets ruffle underneath your bodies as you rush to undress each other fully. “You’re so fucking stupid,” he says against your ear. “Don’t even know how to put up a tent. Need my help for everything?”

“You’ve never been any help to me,” you respond. “Plus, we wouldn’t have gotten rained on so much if you didn’t get lost leading everyone. Need your phone for everything? Can’t even handle one short hike? Good for nothing,” you spit. “Except…you’re kind of a good kisser.”

“Wish I could say the same about you.”

“Don’t lie,” you smirk. “I’m an incredible kisser.” He may roll his eyes but he heads straight back for more. “But you’re taking too long. Hurry up,” you say between kisses. Grazing his hand down your hip, he slides two fingers between your pussy lips and—

“You’re that wet for me and I’ve barely even touched you? Desperate slut.” You grab his cock, making him jerk forward, his mouth dropping open.

“You’re already that hard and I’ve barely even touched you? Horny loser.” Without warning, he lines himself up at your entrance and shoves his cock inside you, forcing a yelp from your throat.

Covering your mouth, he leans down, gracing his lips over your earlobe before whispering, “You never shut the fuck up, do you?” And he’s relentless. Fucking you fast and hard, whispering mean, dirty shit in your ear, shivers rolling down your spine at every syllable. “You don’t deserve to feel this good.”

“And you think you deserve this pussy?” You fire right back. Although, he does seem to be winning with the sheer amount of moaning coming from your mouth compared to his controlled sounds and expert movements. You try your best to compose yourself before saying, “A dumb fuck like you doesn’t deserve to even touch my skin.”

“Is that why you gasp when I pinch your nipples?” He asks. You narrow your eyes at him. But he definitely proves himself right. Rolling your nipple between his pointer finger and thumb, basking in the chills it gives you, clearly sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. You reach to touch his broad chest but he stops you. “Nuh-uh. Hands to yourself,” he says, gripping your wrists harshly and pinning them to the ground. 

Suddenly, you’ve never wanted to touch someone more in your life. The way his skin glistens, muscles looking so strong, a bead of sweat drips between his pecs and you swear you clit twitches. Honestly, you’re in shock. What do you usually do with your hands? Since when has he been like this? An absolute slut? A mean slut at that. But you love it. 

Your hands stay at your side after he moves to squeeze your body again but you can’t help but reach up—you’re desperate to touch him. He halts, lifting his fingers off your tits. 

“Every time you try to touch me without permission, I’ll stop touching you,” he says. You surrender, putting your hands under your back. “Good girl.”

Fuck. That felt nice too. Being degraded is one thing, but getting rewarded for following directions? That’s delicious. Heat rushes to your ears. 

“Please—”

“Ah,” he places his pointer finger over your lips. “I told you to shut up, didn’t I?” You make a show of keeping your mouth closed. “You learn so fast, hm?” You smile—a genuine giddy smile. “So cute,” he whispers, placing a thumb on your clit, circling it gently. 

But when a weak little, “Fuck,” slips out of your mouth, he stops.

“Did I say you could speak?” You shake your head. Running a thumb across the apple of your cheek, he gives you a look somewhere between my pathetic little slut and you’re being such a good girl for me. 

Keeping your mouth shut, your body is in complete bliss, succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure his cock and hands are giving you. You’re positively drunk on his cock, letting him do whatever he wants to you—touch you here, lick and bite you there, kiss on this, suck on that—not only to be his good little slut, but because it feels fucking incredible. He knows what he’s doing, you’ll give him that. 

Then you feel it, your orgasm is slowly approaching, every move he makes pushes you closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it. The little whimpers you make, trying to hold back. The twitches your clit makes. The pulses of your pussy. 

“Aw,” he starts condescendingly. “Is my good little slut gonna come for me?” You nod rapidly, being sure to keep your mouth shut and movements under control. The last thing you want right now is a punishment. Or maybe it’s the thing you want most? The lines are too blurred to tell. “Say it.”

You can barely mumble it, but you manage to croak out, “You’re gonna make me come, Kai.”

“Good girl.” He doesn’t change a single thing. It creeps closer and closer until you can feel your body start to tip over. And then he does something…expected? Surprising? Honestly, you’re not so sure anymore. He stops, your orgasm so close to crashing over you, ruined by this son of a bitch. 

Tears form in your eyes. Was he really doing this to you? This annoying, stupid fucking jerk you’ve hated for years making you cry over his cock? 

“That’s for being such a goddamn nuisance since the day I met you.” 

What do you do now? Be a jerk to him? Overpower him and pin him down? Sit there like a hole needing to be fucked? You decide to go for the last option, hoping he’ll make you come as fast as he can. Although, truthfully, you feel like one swipe across your clit would make you finish you at this point. 

“Tell me you don’t deserve me.” You keep your mouth shut. Gently wrapping his fingers around your throat, you stare at his eyes. He chuckles like he’s proud of you before he says, “You may speak.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” He squeezes harder, almost like he’s saying that’s not enough. “I don’t deserve to feel this good. I don’t deserve your cock. I don’t deserve…anything.” 

“Good girl.” He loosens his grip around your throat. He’s done with his fun now. The ache in both of your bodies is getting unbearable and he’s determined to make you come first. Which he supposes he already did, despite ruining it for you. But he’s gotta get you back to that place before he gets there first.

Returning to the hard and fast pace of fucking you like he was a few minutes ago, his cock slams in and out and out of your pussy, ripples running down your thighs, ass, tits, everywhere. He stares in awe of your perfect tits bouncing in rhythm with his thrusts. 

Your mouth opens and closes like you want to say something, but if you speak without permission, he may stop. You decide to take a chance anyway. 

“Kai…” you squeak out through the rough movements. He responds with a sweet yet sinister smile that says you may speak. “You are gonna let me come, right?”

His eyebrows furrow, face full of pity. He asks, “You think I should?”

“You better or I’ll…” You trail off.

“You’ll what?” He stops moving, therefore earning a pathetic whine from you, trying to protest without words. “What are you gonna do to me?”

Now what’s a good punishment for him? Clearly, he’s used to being the one punishing his sexual partners—you wonder how his other subs have dealt with him being a jerk. You don’t want to overpower him like you thought you did. There’s something about being pinned down like this, letting him do whatever he wants, not having to move an inch. You’re such a powerful woman everywhere else—the type A personality type, which you admit can get overwhelmingly exhausting. 

Letting someone take full control over you like this—it’s relaxing. You wonder how much he’s enjoying himself but you notice the way his eyes flutter when you simply tighten your pussy around his cock, how he hasn’t stopped touching you since you finally let him, hell, he kissed you first. Of course he’s enjoying this. And bingo—you’ve got just enough control to get what you want. 

“I’ll never let you fuck me like this again.” 

Narrowing his eyes at you, it's like he knows that you caught him in the act of something. Cocking his head to the side, he asks, “We can’t let that happen, now can we?”

Somehow, the energy shifts to be even more desperate. Taking out years and years of frustration from hating each other while simultaneously wanting to have sex. Fucking as fast as your bodies will let you, the tent fills with the absolutely obscene noises coming from your mouths. The only reason you aren’t holding back is because the rain beating against the plastic tent and the occasional thunder thankfully covers most of it. 

When one of his thumbs finds your clit, you feel like you’re floating. The air falls out of your lungs, pleasure taking over your body as you relax into your orgasm. You’re drunk, high on his cock and the only thing you’re seeing are stars and that stupid smirk plastered across his face. It rips through your body like lightning, shooting out your toes and fingertips. 

“Talk to me,” he says breathlessly in your ear. But you can’t. You can only manage strangled noises to let him know you’re having an incredible orgasm. 

Coming down from your high, though, you finally say, “Fuck, that felt so good.” 

“Tell me how good.”

“You made me feel so…so fucking good, Kai,” you say, shaking your head, unsure of what else to tell him. Call it post-nut clarity, but why the hell were you having sex with him again? Honestly, who cares? He’s actually pretty hot and he’s damn good at this too. What happens after this? Enemies with benefits? Never mention it again? You make a note to come back to this with him later. But right now, you need to get to the matter at hand. “Why don’t you tell me how good I feel?”

“Oh baby, you feel so good,” he says. “Your pussy might be the only thing I like about you.” He chuckles, his mouth dropping open, undeniably close to his own orgasm. “Well, maybe your pussy and your tits.” Burying his face between them, he bites down on the plush, groaning against your skin. 

“I need you to come inside me, Kai. Please.” 

“Keep talking to me like that.”

And you do. Giving him praise, touching him in all the right places, putting on a show for him. With a few final thrusts, he groans, whispering something you don’t catch, but you feel it. Him coming inside you with a sexy groan, covering your chest in the sloppiest of kisses and bites. 

Catching his breath, he whispers breathlessly, “Damn. That was good.” Sliding out of you, an awkwardness catches up with the two of you. You push yourself up on your elbows, attempting to gather your thoughts. His eyes are still dark with desire as he looks at you with a satisfied smirk. 

“Listen,” you say, covering your chest with your blanket. “This can’t happen again.” His smile drops.

“What?”

“The fact that we did that,” you gesture between the two of you, “never leaves this tent, you hear me?” Cocking his head to the side, he nods awkwardly. “No one can find out about this. God, I’d be so embarrassed. Let’s just…get some sleep.” 

Did you forget about what he said?

Or I’ll never let you fuck my like this again. Using that as a threat if he didn’t let you come meant you wanted to do it again, no? Slowly putting on his boxers again, he agrees, turning away from you to try and get some sleep but, all of a sudden, there’s too much on his mind. 

[zznsthetic]

INTO YOU

*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Non-idol AU — Hook-up!Kai × AFAB!Hook-up!Reader

*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Appetizer — Kai is too much into you, sexually and soulfully. Even after thrice the times he fucked you, he doesn't wanna end this. It's like he wants to keep you, but how? He wants you more and more the times he's with you, will he ask you out?

*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Disclaimer — This is PURE FICTION : Nothing in this work aligns with the idols' character, moral and their real life. The characters are all legal adults ( 18+ ) and everything happening around & to them is entirely consensual. Readers are humbly advised to read the Contains and Disclaimer before they read.

*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Word Count — 3k+

*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Contains — barely-any-plot SMUT : mdni! Unprotected sex ( of course but don't! ), missionary, make outs, nipple play, dirty talk ( idk! My first time writing it!! ), begging fetish, Kai's rough, Soft-Dominant!Kai, Submissive!Reader, breeding fetish, Kai is whiny when he cums, and idk. Lemme know if I should add more.

*꒰ 뭐 ꒱ Noulli's note — this shitty drabble was backed up by my special moot @soobinsonly1bf , thanks my dear twin, without you this might have been the crappiest piece ever! I love you so much already😭 and tagging @jeongin-lvr and @hyhkai ( cause you both rooted for it, tysm lovelies ). I also half-assed in the last cause I have no idea to end a smut. And Idk what I wrote, went along with my fingers so bear with it (T^T).

His lips tickle yours like a feather brushing at it, his hand only pull you into his warmth, while the other tucked your hair behind your ears. His perfect narrow eyes are slightly open, only to get a slight look at you tembling at the slight collision of your lips with his, sitting beside, but rubbing your thighs together. Your body quivers everywhere, and the thing is, he hasn't done anything yet, and you're this desperate for him. Just as perfectly as he wants.

"Want a minute?" His question is absolutely ridiculous considering how his hands take up the job to elicit goosebumps on your body, that touch jolting you up from every where it traverses, having you gulp your saliva down your throat. Your heartbeat even echoes, syncing with his, in that pin-drop quiet room. His kisses on your lips are continuos, perfectly embracing them to never let you go, he whiffs you with his panting breath, to let you know, he is wholly into this, into you.

Your eyes meet his with the look he has never seen before. the doe's they curve into, pleading and drowning themselves into his orbs; your pupils holding back a fiery lust that darkens your gaze and yet glistens with something mysterious, actually something sweet when he kisses you, or at the slightest touch he delivers on your body. His hands slip in your red lacy crop top as he squeezes your underbust and groans at the plush. Women were his least interesting cup of tea, until he met you and now he wishes to turn over your every page and learn you.

This has gone too far. Both of you know it.

You however didn't even take him in your pussy, yet have him drip pathetically, aching for you. fuck should have sat in my lap, his mind groans to him. He leans in, his damn lips again working down your earlobe; at every trail of his kisses, your skin burns and your heartbeat accelerates, actually throbbing your boobs in his hold.

That blush you've been having on your cheeks the whole time has never deserted, if anything, it reddens even more on your face, at every kiss he plants every now and then. He looks back into your eyes for an answer. "No," you breathe, answering his ridiculous question. "But I want more..." a smile immediately makes its way to his lips and his cold eyes warm within themselves.

His smile... a rare thing to actually witness, for a cold, aloof Huening Kai who doesn't sleep twice with a woman, but he ridiculously can not stop sleeping with you, and of course, smiling like an idiot. He loves the way your eyes soften at his smile, and he does smile so, often for it. Such a strange feeling, he can't get rid of you, you don't seem to let go of him, in reality, he can't seem to let you go.

Your addictive brush on his lips never ceases to haunt him at the times he wishes to forget about you, or your warm hands that should have always been securing him ( scraping his back with yo nails lol ) never seem to warm the cold emptiness he feels when he goes to his bed at night, without you. The bed which moved when he drilled into you, never felt so still and so wrong, which is exactly why he has brought you here again, feeling that same warmth which is just as capturing as last time. He is inable to stop, he needs to feel you again, which he is clearly aware of, the heat for you, burning inside him and aching his insides for you.

Nothing ever feels enough, when it comes to you.

The warmth in his touch, the fire in his kisses, the writhing heat he has for you is the exact thing which confuses you for his freezing stare and his cold attitude, reserved as fuck when you had the first encounter with him, correction - a mere exchange of consents before the both of your were colliding into each other. The seeming magnetic pull he had, something was unleashed in you when he first entered the bar. You went to him, asked him if he was in for drinks and hook up. Drinks were all to hell when you both left to fuck, absolutely in a rut for eachother where ending the night felt wrong and you had to leave him.

He was left alone, or so he felt he did, cause it didn't feel right to part, part from you.

What pulled him into you? He wonders himself, you had that perfect black dress, which seemed to be glued to your body, that short little dress didn't disgust him and he felt no repulse like the other times he pushed away the women throwing themselves at him Instead he was teased to explore what was under, which now is no mystery and ravishing it, an addiction. Fucking you once didn't feel right to end, he was left to want more. Fucking you twice was not enough. I guess I want more of her, he realized. Now thrice, still doesn't feel enough either. It's like, he wants you more and more the times he feels you.

His hand refuses to leave your tits while his lips play with the skin on your neck, tickling at soft spots repeatedly as he does not relent until a crimson mark erupts, only then does his lips descend to your cleavage as he examines the valley, he parts from your chest, earning a heave which rises it, inviting him again.

He tilts his head up at you, your jaw glistens from sweat and your voice box bobs, and then, he discovers how you are lost in this foreplay.

"Can I...?" The third night he is fucking you over now, yet his way of asking consents never seem to fail in amazing you everytime. His eyes meets yours with the sparkling hunger which never seemed to fade away from his orbs. His following rasp holds an odd, safe, yet that 'dampening-your-pussy' effect, where it takes no seconds for a 'yes please..' to leave your mouth and he is ripping that top off in the blink of an eye, laying you down.

Your hands find his hair and get lost in it when he kisses your aereola, sucking and leaving kitty licks, toying with your nipples using his tongue, the displayed plush of your tits mercilessly having him leak out the pre-cum.

Though he is at your tits, listening to your racing heartbeat, feeling all of it with his mouth latched onto your boobs, his heart too races as if it knows no relent in pounding so hard for you. So badly does he want to just shove his cock in and fuck your senses out until his hunger died for you, he aches for this little fluttery feeling, rushing through all of him to a point he mindlessly acts so gentle and so hypnotized, he can't stop.

His hands have a mind of their own, gently imprinting the feeling of yours. His ears always noting your little sounds and his eyes always store your various sights of writhing under him, in him, always trying to elicit them again, so he gets a replay of it. The drumming of his heartbeat echoes in his own ears, the exciting feeling actually so good, he is damn sure, he is feeling it for the first time. Just what are you doing to me, sweet thing?

He is beyond into you, where his mind no longer holds any control over him, he wishes to absorb you, all to himself.

The moment he feels enough, he strips you off of your skirt, revealing your pink panties, where he spreads your legs with his hands and witness the glistening wet patch on it. "Fuck, you're so desperate aren't you? It's a fucking flood I suppose..." His fingers start toying with the wet cloth, pressing his fingers there and he strips you of it and reveals you're pooling heat, groaning and chuckling at it. "And It fucking is.. haah"

There. His runny mouth. Curses sound so sweet by his mouth and his degrading moans, melo-fucking-dious. "Says you, with that wet bump of your rock hard cock. Adorable, Huening."

Fuck, she's so hot. His rock hard cock, forming that wet glistening patch on the bump, even on his dark pants is so visible, your cunt flutters imagining how good he'd stretch you out at the sight. The bump looking so massive, his cock twitching inside you is the best one of the best, from the two longs nights you've been up with him, you know damn well, he's the fucking best you've ever had.

"Fuck love," he curses, his smirk revealing a little of his gritting teeth.

"You run that mouth and I'll fuck it too." He looks down at you, punctuating his sentences with his condescending and solemn look, annoyingly decorated with a tight smile lasting for no seconds, but you know, you shoot him a cocky look for it will soon become whines and praises when he feels you. Amusingly, his struggle to look at you when his eyes drift to your pussy is not unnoticed by you, a proud giggle leaving your mouth that does not catch his attention, his adam's apple bobs at the sight, a pink tint smears across his cheeks and cock jerks wildly at it, crazy how he thinks with his dick and dick only, when you're the one taking it in.

"B-But now just take my cock, as I say, will you?"

Another giggle leaves your mouth, as you nod along, permitting him. However, it is all giggles until it turns into a surprised gasp, clearly interupted, with his cock shoving pushing inside with no prepping. He once realized when he sheathed himself in for the first time that night, you were and are so tight he might snap, with the way you're strangling his cock exactly like how you did then, and choking on your laugh, clearing whimpering later with that cockiness abandoning your face.

Fuck! he's caught you off guard, entertaining himself with your surprised moans, oh damn, to fix that attitude of yours using his cock, he fucking enjoyed it. It's his turn to laugh now, a deep one so melodious to your ears, as he looks at with you with a cocky look, smugly amped up with a smile which resembles yours from before. "Laugh now, baby?" He raises his eyebrows, trying his best to hide the way he is losing his mind. "Can't laugh when filled up with cock?" His smile never fades, but his little whimpers do echo when he pulls out, as a slowly as he can, the emptiness you feel when his cock slides out, your walls flutter, trying to invite his cock again.

Holding his cock as he finally pulls out, he rubs the tip on your area, sliding it up and down as he feels your little shivers when his cock prods at your hole, he pushes in, only so his tip is held by your hole. "What's that, baby? You wan' it?" He tsks at the way your hole clenches at nothing, a wild grin creases eventually on his smiling lips at your squeezes, he's absolutely enjoying the way you're so desperate for him and are nodding at his words as dumbly as you could, he is damn satisfied. "Pussy's begging me so perfectly, but I don't know, think you deserve it?"

You nod at him as desperately as you could. His eyes darken and form crescents, his dick taps at your clit and attempts to push in, only to tease you and watch you think he finally puts it in but he doesn't, disappointment rippling on your face when you realize he did not push it in. Your moans die when he parts his cock away from your cunny. "Words baby, words. Guess your pussy doesn't-" he is so cruel to do that, when youre absolutely dying in anticipation, you can't hold it in.

"I do! Please fuck me, wan' your cock, and make me cum, Kai, pleeaaasee."

"Fuck! guess you do, when you beg so good." He groans and fills you in, his cock nesting in your cunt ever so perfectly, your whimpers at the stretch synchronize with his groans and he begins his movements. His movements always begin with short deep thrusts and then, do they begin fucking you into his mattress, you know it's when you begin to cry and whine like the slut you are for him.

"When I'm in your pussy b-baby," Kai grunts, angling his cock to your sweet spot which he knows where it is like the back of his palm. You are aware, he is talking, talking to you, but does he not know? He is not beside you, up for a chat, he is fucking into you, where anytime your mouth parts to speak, it only knows to moan and scream, or to be shut by his prodding tongue. And the words are hazy, with that tinnitus echoing due to the immense good feeling- just what is he saying?!

You wish to understand, make out what he says but little do you know, the ability to think bid goodbyes to you, when his cock pushed in you, but you don't do any of it. Kai has felt it, you no longer listen to him and it doesn't take him long to lean in on you, and flick your chin to look at him, as he thrusts even then. "When I'm in you, you only moan my name get it, slut?"

His little words strike straight at your 'getting-ruined' pussy, squeezing him even more as every thrust now feels intense; his all dominant facade wearing out. You feel if you're a dumb doll, when he fucks and tells you things, you obey him as you nod at every single thing he says, with one and only goal, to cum, cum on his dick. And oh, the way your mouth keeps chanting his name like a mantra after he orders, Kai definitely loved it. His name rolling off of your tongue, almost in a crying manner, sometimes even stuttering when he fucks. His name called in n different ways when you moan it, all of the forms echoing in his ears are a melody which always guide him to his orgasm.

"Kai-! I'm so close- s'close-!" such a slut are you, to say you're close and cream his cock in a split second after. It's too much, to contract around his moving cock and your orgasm rippling all parts in you, more reactive do you become, grabbing the most of the blankets on his beds as you could, curling your toes and arching your back the hardest you could, you cum. And yet, his pace doesn't stop.

You, in a way, lubricated your own entrance, getting Kai to thrust in faster than he already was, gaining him a perfect rhythm, his cock rushes him everywhere in body to use you to the fullest he could; his grip on your thighs becomes bruising. Gripping sheets, digging nails in its cloth, curling toes and hooking your legs around his waist, tears cascading down and your moans almost sounding like screams, the overstimulation is swarming your body and absolutely wrecking your senses.

Praises overflow out his mouth when he witnesses this heavenly sight, and in no way his dick stops twitching, fuck it. He is getting off of your orgasmed frame getting overstimulated, and he is gonna snap at any moment, he feels it. "I'm c-cumming-! Cumming! hnnnngggg-!" Those slutty whines he be letting out when he is close but doesn't stop, depriving you of his eyes rolling back into cranium and pulling you onto him using his big, strong hands, he finally cums.

To release a handful of load in you, just hooked onto your pussy bracing his cock ever so warmly to squeeze out the last droplets of his semen, the feeling is out of the world to him, his panting mouth, dazed eyes and his tongue out like a puppy, oh fuck, he loved dumping his load into you.

"Fuck you, Huening Kai!" You wail, you were so close to cumming, he replaced that with his warm seed instead, again leaving you want for more.

"I was so close!"

"Aw, is that it baby?" He finally comes back into the world, looking you at release yourself from his hold and walk away, his cum dripping out as you stand naked, pearly liquid gliding down your thighs glowing in the dim yellow light of the lamp, your ass perfectly painted with his hand prints. "What's wrong, what do you want?"

Just why would you like walk like that princess? Haah, I wanna do it again.

"Well, my clothes." You glance at the red top laying on the floor as you make your way to get it. You turn back to look for other discarded garments, only to find Kai pulling you into his embrace, squirming in his hold. "Kai! What are you doing?"

"So you aren't staying?"

No, cause this won't last. How the fuck do I say it?

You wish to end this, this might be your last night with him. You didn't wish to get attached which aren't reciprocated even a bit. The way you crave him more than physically, isn't just a hook-up anymore. "Uhm, why?"

Kai cages you in his hold. "So I fuck you all day, all night to make you stay? Tell me?"

He holds you against your will but his question melts you in him. Just what does he mean by 'fuck you all day, all night to make you stay?' You are at loss to retort; the question so weird. Still, that does flutter your heart, an unknown tingly feeling kissing your knees when he implies to make you stay.

"What do you mean, of course- not! I mean-" His fingers shush you, and your chain of broken words stay gulped inside. But what should you say at this moment? You had no idea. When you gather the gravels of your whatever answers, his hands cup your cheeks.

"Let's date. Let's fuck. Everyday."

[thetxtdevil]

Strawberry Dreams

Blueberry Boy!Kai x Strawberry Shortcake!Reader

summary: Kai knows a girl and he knows that no one is sweeter. She's got that special touch.

content: nsfw/mdni short thoughts, aphrodisiac body, fem.reader, innocent reader+kai kinda corrupting each other, oral (f. & m. rec), breeding kink, descriptions of cum, cum eating, missionary, riding

word count: 900

In Strawberryland where all the people are happy and a little fruity. A big plump strawberry cottage sits in a green meadow and across was a just as big blueberry house. Cute, shy, Blueberry Boy Kai, sits and waits watching your house. Waiting until his best friend opens her red and white striped curtains and unlock the top of her front dutch door, and like clock work you did. "Hi Kai!" "Hi y/n!!!" You're Strawberry Shortcake, you are Kai's best friend in the world and the most popular girl of the place. You wave to all your friends while riding your bike all through town and to your bakery booth. While Blueberry Kai follows you close behind. Your booth is open 5 days a week at the Strawberryland Farmers' Market and Kai is always there to help you set up.

On your free days you were consistently making your strawberry shortcake desserts while Kai strums his guitar on your pink fluffy rug in your very red living room. "Mmm Kai you need to try this!" The blueberry boy is swift on his feet prepared to grab a spoon to try your new icing, but he stops once he sees your fingers stretched out in front of him. His form bends down to lick your fingers getting more than a taste of your icing. His agrees that the icing tastes really good, but something felt odd... he felt different... Hungry, not in his stomach, hunger burned in his chest down to his groin. Kai's blue eyes study your focused face attention back on your pastry. The next events happens fast, you gasp feeling something soft and wet licking your neck. You look down only to see a fluff of the blueberry boy's sapphire hair. Now you were questioning this same new feeling something weird yet felt good...

Poor, poor strawberry you, you didn't know that your strawberry nature was an aphrodisiac. Now that your blueberry boy had a taste, he's addicted. A whole pandora's box of smut and so on...

Your booth had a late start that Monday when you asked help to bring up the canopy. Kai walks up behind you raising his arms successfully creating a cover for your little shop, but then you feel something poking you. You turn around with worried eyes only to be faced with a predatory stare from Kai. Leading him to fuck you under the table of the booth. Once you begged him to stop because you needed to start business he respectfully stops, but he never leaves his spot under the table. Finding relief to eat you out while you try so hard to give the greatest customer service.

You were an aphrodisiac, but your slick was something more to Blueberry Kai. A sweet taste of fresh strawberries that strike his sweet tooth just right. His long tongue explored your folds intently, learning fast what soft parts have you shaking.

But who knew your best friend would make you just as obsessive. It seemed like Blueberry Kai's scent became stronger every sexual encounter you two had. He had an earthy scent that smelled close to a childhood memory made you feel warm inside. His cheeks turned the brightest pink every kiss you gave. Head lowering down to what seemed like a chronically erected dick, you soon found another addiction, his purple blueberry scone flavored cum. So sweet yet a little salty, you'd do anything to hear his whimpered moans and to get your tongue a shade of his lilac cum.

"Come on, Shortcake, what's taking you so long?" You bite your tongue as your hear your lemony friend call out. "B-berry I was supposed to go out with my friends today." However you were far from ready to go out, at that moment your legs were over Kai's shoulders while he was balls deep in you. "Come on, sweet, just one more." it will be 3 more until that blueberry is tired and you can go hangout with your friends

Let me take it a step further and mention Kai's new found breeding kink and loving the idea of a strawberry/blueberry hybrid child. You're making a pie with a mini version of him with purple hair, that's what he envisions when he sees you all creampied with his cum. You make Kai want to do it again and again when you whine out of arousal every time he pushes his sweet cum back in your cunt.

A sweet picnic turned into a make-out session. You two bike down the road eventually turning into a dirt path next to a big lake. Laying a gingham blanket on the plush emerald grass, shaded by the trees that encapsulate the area. You sit close to the Blueberry Boy, feeding him a triangular cut jelly sandwich. Oops, some jelly is left on his lip, you lick it off. Leading to a kiss, to an open mouth kiss, his tongue gets a taste of you quickly reminded of the fact that you're a walking aphrodisiac. Kai picks you up to put you on his lap, not wasting time to have you watching the small waves of the water while riding his big cock. :')

This goes to show that Blueberry Boy Kai and Strawberry Shortcake you are a very fluffy couple. So sweet just like your names, but please PLEASE don't have Kai get too close to you or you will be split into two strawberries.

A nuisance,

TxT's Devil 🍓 🫐

taglist: @inkigayocamman, @naoristerling, @incogrio, @biteyoubiteme

[adorehyyuka]

puppy!hyuka <3

smut mdni

warnings: puppy hybrid!Kai, sub!Kai, praise, degradation, name calling, slight anal ? aftercare, bed humping, lmk if I missed anything !

thinking about puppy!hyuka who only wants to be your good boy :( who wants to follow all your rules, instructions and everything you say just so he can hear you praise him and give him head pats <3 but sometimes he can't help himself. . .

he can't help it if one day he feels particularly sad, so he goes to find your blankets and your pillows that smell like you, he just needs a lil comfort is all ! he can't help it that today his emotions are all over the place :,< so you shouldn't blame him when the smell of you sends him into a frenzy and suddenly he's humping your bed like the dumb pup he is :(

you can't blame him for being a little disobedient, you just can't ! He's always been your good boy, surely you can let one mistake go ? right ? wrong.

the moment you get home and see what a desperate mess he is, absolute filth is spewing from your mouth. you call him a whore, telling him off for being a bad puppy when you had only been gone for a little over an hour. tears spill down his cheeks, he's crying and pleading with you, saying "I'm sorry, 'm sorry ! you just smelled so good ! . ." but of course you don't relent, instead you're teasing his tight little ass hole with the tip of your finger and telling him how cute he looks when he's acting like a slut :p

his hips only move faster when you insult him ! his twitchy little cock begging for release <3 he should be upset at you for calling him such names, he should be disgusted with himself for being so desperate :( but the mix of praise and degradation is sending him reeling, his head is so fuzzy and he can't think of anything but getting himself off :3

eventually the thing that tips him over the edge is the tug on his tail you give him, and suddenly he's squealing ! his fluffy ears are fully pointed up to the ceiling, his lower half is spasming all over the place and his sensitive tail is twitching in your softening hold >.< Isn't he such a cutie ? tell him he's a cute pup :(

as soon as you hear him whimper you're immediately cradling him in your arms, telling him what a good boy he is and petting his head <3 all the nastiness in your voice is gone and all that's left is sugary sweet words. puppy!hyuka's head is spinning and it's clear he's overwhelmed, all he needs you to do is hold him and whisper sweet nothings into his floofy ears. . . so that's what you do !

©adorehyyuka

[cheriden]

「 double extra large 」 。。。

"You grab his right hand without delay when he raises it to the cashier, and the item he’s been trying to conceal drops flat on the floor. The box shines in gold, the letters ‘XXL’ embossed in bold, large letters.  He quickly bends down to grab it. At the time that his head is level to yours and your eyes meet his, both widen with yours in shock, his in embarrassment"

── synopsis 。You’re at the grocery with your roommate, and as you empty the cart at checkout, you see a purchase that snuck itself onto the shopping list.

inexperienced!kai x (slightly)experienced afab!reader

.ᐟ genre 。fluff kinda, smut, mdni!

.ᐟ tags 。lotus-style so i can look at you and confess, ab-riding & frotting, praise kink, taunting, sex (the p-in-v kind), unprotected sex (don't do it!), mutual masturbation, creampie, sub!top kai, overstimulation

.ᐟ status & word count 。oneshot | 3.34k

.ᐟ warnings/notes 。sorry folks we mentioned the condom but we will NOT be using it! reader is afab but is not referred with any gender specific pronouns/nicknames. as always my ass is to lazy to proofread

The supermart is busy and fast-paced, but not too crowded to the point that it brings you fatigue. In your hand is your notes app full of groceries, and as you call out each product, Kai brings it up within your range of vision, prior to moving it on one side. “Oh shit, I missed the toothpaste. Be right back” You mumble. The other nods at hollering, “'Kay. I’ll just meet you at the counter.”

Rushing to the hygiene section, you nearly trip over yourself trying to recall the type you use. You have no idea what difference the toothpaste with cooling crystals has over the one with cooling menthol chips, opting to grab both and just asking Kai instead.

Over at the checkout, the ash-haired boy isn’t hard to spot. Tall and broad all around, he sticks out like a sore thumb in his gray sweats and large beige sweater. He waved over at you, and you see that you came just in time to help him clear out the pushcart. You squeeze your way past the others in line, settling on his left and bringing up both types of toothpastes up to his face. He smiles, grabbing the other, to which you toss the other on one of the go-back shelves filled with toys and candies from children who didn’t have their way.

Kai is nice and considerate, knows which item to place on the conveyor belt first for the bagger’s convenience; separates frozens and hygiene, poultry from other produce.

About three-fourths through the basket, you notice Kai favoring his left hand over his right. His right hand stays unmoving by his side, though his face shows he’s unbothered. Still concerned, you inquire, “Everything okay?” He’s evidently surprised that you notice, shaking his head as he continues hauling the products. 

You’re aware that Kai has a tendency to keep things to himself, fear of becoming a burden or hassle. You always tell him the opposite, and this instance is no exception. “Are you hurt? Let me see your arm.” He jolts back dramatically when you lean toward him, and with a skeptical look, you back down. 

For one second.

You grab his right hand without delay when he raises it to the cashier, and the item he’s been trying to conceal drops flat on the floor.

The box shines in gold, the letters ‘XXL’ embossed in bold, large letters. 

He quickly bends down to grab it. At the time that his head is level to yours and your eyes meet his, both widen with yours in shock, his in embarrassment.

The cashier taps the register with an impatient look, “Um… Am I going to ring that up for you?”

The commute home is silent and awkward; all you can think about is the box of condoms stored in the pockets of Kai’s bottoms. 

“It’s right next to his extra-extra large dick.”

You smack your head against the doors, and the other, maybe even the entire train, looks at you like you’re stupid. You mentally scream at yourself to shut up, to stop pondering over it. Though it’s hard not to when a seat clears up, and you’re sat head-to-head with his nether region. The more you tell yourself not to think about it, the more you torment yourself by doing the exact reverse subconsciously. You turn your entire body away from him and onto the window, your legs to your chest, truly cementing yourself as the crazy lunatic on the transit.

Walking uphill to your apartment at the peak of the sun’s presence—a whole workout in itself, isn’t even enough to take your mind off it. Though now you were speculating about why he didn’t just bring it onto the belt like a normal person. “Kai’s a healthy adult man,” reason with yourself, “of course he’d be active.” You’re no virgin either. Maybe you overreacted earlier, clutching your pearls like chastity was something you practiced. 

So why didn’t he just tell you? Were you not close enough to know stuff like that?

Kai knows the ins and outs of your love life, and upon retrospection, you’ve realized he doesn’t really share anything about himself. Not unless you see it unfold in real time, questioning follow-ups then and there. 

The front door unlocks, and you hurriedly drop the bags onto the counter, taking a seat on one of the high stools. 

You observe the other, taking his time to lock the door and organize the shoes by the door before rolling his sleeves to put the groceries away. 

You think about how good a partner he’d be, if he was anything like how you see him around the house—around you. He’s fun and lighthearted, careful and honest. He’s let your faults slide over a thousand occurrences before, never failing to say sorry for his own shortcomings no matter how inconsequential they are. Quite literally the perfect boyfriend. You apologize for only appreciating him like this because of the box of condoms.

You wonder if he has a girlfriend and what his type would be. He doesn’t really bring anyone over, besides a few shared friends to rot on the couch with. “Maybe he’s gay?” You consider, “Or bi?”  If he was, wouldn’t he tell you? 

Maybe you’re a shit friend.

Determined to get to know the other better, you peer over at him as he places fruit into the fridge. “Hyuka?” 

He turns his head with an inquisitive look. “What’s up?” Clearing your throat, you prepare yourself for the corny words that come next. “I want you to know that, I would never judge you or whoever you have sex with. You can trust me with that crap.” Your words of friendship render him speechless, mouth parting and closing without any sound leaving it. He shuts the refrigerator, taking up a seat directly across from you. “I appreciate it.” He returns, the corners of his lips curving up slightly as it purses into a line. “It’s just,” he whispers, looking around and leaning in as if there were other people present, “I’m a virgin.” 

You nod, leaning in to match his stance. Proud of this bonding moment, it’s like the two of you have a little secret. Though you suppose it’s a bit mean-spirited to celebrate over Kai’s clear insecurities, watching him nibble at the bottom of his lips, bouncing his leg in his seat. “That’s totally normal.” You tell him, placing a hand over his, to stop him from picking the skin of his index fingers. “So you’re a virgin too?” He beams, and you’re almost sorry that you have to correct him that you’re not. When you do, his face portrays a red hue, apologizing for assuming almost immediately. You shake your head and say it’s fine. “So who’s the lucky recipient of your…” Regretting it almost immediately, you can't stop yourself, pointing at his crotch. You feign confidence and nonchalance, resting your chin on your palm.

You think it was impossible for him to turn darker, but he flushes to a bright cherry red with his face in his hands, voice muffled as he speaks through it. “I’m… Just going to practice. With a friend.” “Practice?” You press further, and he tells you the name of the person who offered to help him. You’ve heard about them before, one of the friends he used to work part-time with. 

You shouldn't be thinking this, but you’re jealous. You’ve been roommates since legality! How could he trust some rando over you?

“Not the point, this isn’t about you!” You mentally note once again.

Kai presses his cheek on the cool marble, avoiding your  gaze. “In case I do get… Intimate with someone I have feelings for. I don’t want them leaving me over my mediocrity.” In opposition to your better judgment, you nod along instead of hyping him up, knowing it would’ve done nothing to console him in all of his anxious glory.  

As a great friend—you know one surefire way to instill confidence in him.

“Your partner,” you start, throwing caution to the wind as you mentally prepare for the words you’ve scripted haphazardly, “They’re receiving?” 

Kai answers yes hastily, and you’re in awe of the unimaginable scene you’ve concocted as he hides behind his sweater paws. Maybe you’re just really horny, or ovulating.

With one last breath, your voice a tad too loud and fast, as you tell him: “I can do it.”

“Do what?” He asks, though he’s ninety-percent sure on what you mean. Regardless, you clarify, “I’ll be your first. I’ll help you practice and stuff.” 

Truthfully, you can count all of your sexual encounters on one hand, subtracting further when you take away over-the-shirt makeouts.

Kai’s brain goes into overdrive, half-paying attention as you list all of the pros and cons of you being his partner instead. “Plus, we can stop or go anytime. I won’t take it personally, ‘cause I know you.” 

His breathing is wobbly as he whispers, “Okay.” 

With a grin, you take his hand and tug him to his room. “Sorry Hyuka, but since I’m helping you out, it’s your sheets that will have to suffer the consequences.”

It’s a bit unfair, you know. Unorthodox? Absolutely; however you pay little to no mind as you kneel in the center of the mattress, patting your side giddily to call him over.

He’s hesitant and timid when he rounds the bed frame, and you wonder if he’s uncomfortable with you, if you’re forcing him to do this and he’s too nice to do anything about it. Your brazenness falters a bit. “Hey, don’t think like that,” As if he can read your mind, Kai sits next to you and caresses your cheeks, “It’s just my first time is all. I’m sure you’ll be wonderful.” 

Even in his own worry, he’s there to soothe you. You straighten your posture and ask: “How can I make it more comfortable for you?” He purses his lips in thought, eyeing your body. 

You get the signal, taking your top off, him mirroring your movements. “So I guess we can just start—”

Cut off by the force of his lips against your own, you lurch at the sudden contact. He pauses when you don’t kiss back, but when you do, it causes him to fall onto his back.

His kisses are open-mouthed and pliant, as if he was waiting for your actions before mimicking them. You move to straddle him, asking if he’s kissed before. He has. You ask if he’s made out with anyone before, and he shakes his head. “You’re a great learner.” You praise, and he smiles, tilting his head to kiss you again. 

Kai keeps his hand above your hips, slightly urging them to grind against his abdomen. You take him up on the offer, completely malleable to his wanting. As time passes, you can’t help but get curious at the hardening mass beneath you, brows furrowed as you detach your lips from his. You trace the garter of his jeans, mute signal to make sure if you can take it off.

He nods, and the action is slow and painful for him. You giggle as he whimpers at the view of the wet spot over his boxers, taking your time to register every facial expression he makes. He moans your name to get you to stop, hands over his face upon seeing you sneak a finger into the waistband, trailing along the sharp end of his pelvic bone. He chants your name some more, and you think it’s an angel’s calling, so heavenly and gasping for air that you can’t help but ramp him up further. 

You make it a point to pave marks leading up to his jaw, mouth working harsher while you slide the undergarment to the lower end of his thighs. 

You do nothing but wince at his length, eyes flickering between him and his dick. Kai’s gone red again, clearing his throat as he says, “Is something wrong?” 

Frankly, you’re a bit petrified, shaking your head regardless. “So you’re XXL for real?” He’s confused, watching you remove your bottoms. “Yeah?”

“I thought that was just you overestimating.” He grabs your hand to stop you from removing your underwear, a sheepish smile from him as he comments, “Keep it on, wanna see it later—and why would I lie? That just defeats the purpose of buying a condom.” You take your hands off the tight band, and it ricochets onto your skin with a prominent smack. “You’re so kinky.” Kai avoids your feedback, rambling about the hassle of having to google condom brands and their sizes. “It’s so humiliating, I think I’m on some freak watchlist—” He interrupts himself with a moan, focusing on you as your hand swipes at his tip. He grumbles with his head against the wall, breathing unsteady as you bring his fingers near  the inners of your thighs. His demeanor says he’s more than eager to give you satisfaction, watching you rub yourself onto the knuckles of his fingers. His fingers are long and elegant—thin and precise. You revert your attention to his cock, working on the upper shaft as you pout at your own hand. Kai asks you what’s wrong, and note that your hands aren’t as pretty. They’re shorter and stout, nails carelessly cut with a few nicks and scratches here and there. On the contrary, he’s enthralled by the scene. The other responds by taking the hand that rests above his, kissing each finger as he remarks how lovely they are. He carefully encircles your entrance with his middle finger, silently asking for permission. 

With an exasperated sigh, you tell him he can do whatever he wants. “You’ll let me know if you’re uncomfortable right?” You nod, informing him to do the same. He slowly inserts a finger, moving it in and out, grazing your clit each time. He watches as your mouth hangs open, and he takes it as his cue to insert another. You bid yourself not to get distracted, spreading the pre-cum from his tip on the sides of his member. 

He’s too wet, and so are you. At this point, you’re humping his hand, jerking his dick erratically with you calling out each other's names. You come on his hands and pursue balance on his arm as he flexes, coming down from his own high when you squeeze his dick tighter. It paints his stomach like a canvas, stare lingering  as you recollect yourself. 

Suddenly you’re pulled back down to Earth, watching his chest heave while you inquire about lube. He nudges over to his nightstand, and you bring out the box of condoms from earlier. “Do you know how to put on a condom?” Kai says he learned how in high school. You laugh, throwing the box somewhere onto the floor. “I’m clean, and on birth control. You’ll be fine. And besides,” you move, dragging your soaking clothed pussy over his dick, “Don’t you want to feel all of me for your first time? I know I want you to come inside me.”

You’ve gone insane, cock-drunk as you watch the lust sparkle in his eyes when he nods.

No time is wasted; ridding yourself of the heavy fabric and messily empty the bottle of liquid onto the both of you, the other making an even bigger mess as he spreads it across your cunt, his other on himself. His back shoots up when you sink lower halfway, sitting up to tangle his hands in your hair. You reassure him you can take it; he pulls you in for a kiss, long and deep to preoccupy you from the pain as he slowly forces you to drop further. You bite at his lower lip, and he comforts you by caressing the curve of your waist. 

Kai waits for you to stop hurting, and when you start grinding on him, he can’t help the sharp thrust that meets your form. “More!” You yelp, detaching your lips from his. Your command is fulfilled as he pummels into you at an unrelenting speed, head resting below your chin as he kisses the sides of your breasts. He makes sure no area is left blank, leaving dark violet patches littered on your curves. He’s bouncing you up and down his cock, mesmerized by the vision and sound of you malfunctioning over his dick in you. It doesn’t take long for you to adjust, playful behavior back as you tease, “Can’t believe you were gonna fuck your old co-worker instead.” Your legs wrap around his waist, nails digging the plush of his thighs. The other looks genuinely sorry, eyes glossy as he mutters his apologies. “Can’t—not you, only you.” Your pace stammers, “Only me? What—”

“I like you,” He gasps, rolling his hips slowly, “Had—shit, have for a long time now.” He lifts his gaze to meet yours, eyes soulful and seeking approval. “So you were practicing for… me?” “If you’d give me the chance!” He rushes to say, “Wanted to make sure I did well.” You free a hand to forcefully grab his face, grinning down at him. “Pervert,” His cock twitches in you, causing you to wince in return, “but it’s fine. You make me feel good.” Throwing his head back at your statement, he spreads you  flat on the mattress, palms holding your wrists down. “Shit—no, wait,” He whines—watching you writhe underneath him, unable to stop his hips as they hammer into you. “It’s okay,” barely managing your words, “I’m close too.” He versus your name over and over, drool forming on the corner of his lips as you clamp down on him, Kai fucking you through your orgasm. He moans at the applied pressure, rolling his hips when yours arch off the bed, thick cum spurting inside you.

Breathing is a luxury that he denies you, flipping you over and pounding within you mercilessly. “‘M sorry,” he inhales, making no effort to stop, “so tight and warm, ‘cunt’s sucking me in.” Your figure jolts violently beneath him, moans caught in your throat while you beg for him. “Too big—too much!” You shriek, flinching at the sounds of him slapping against your ass. “S—slow down.” Kai’s brain is too shrouded in ecstasy, ignoring your pleas as you come on him again, his own cum mixing as it overflows and drips onto the sheets.

He finishes with one more passionate kiss, followed by a series of chaste ones as he entraps your body in his arms and lays you down on top of him.

“What the hell was that all about?” Kai’s confused, Peering at you with a curious gleam in his eyes. You gesticulate between the two of you. “Sex. Where did that come from?” He hums, lying back down onto the bed. “Porn? I just did whatever felt right.” Scoffing, you lie closer to him. “Yeah right, nobody learns from porn.” The other scrambles to get a pack of wet wipes, calling himself “naturally gifted” while patting the both of you down. 

He fakes composure, hands giving him away as they tremble out of nervousness. “So are we, like, a thing now?” 

He looks adorable when he’s unsure of himself. Like he would implode if he assumed incorrectly. “I don’t know, did I ever say I liked you back?” The other halts almost immediately, face ready to plead when you reply: “Kidding,” Laughing at his animated reactions, he shares a large exhale of relief when you reply. “Take me out on a date first, then we'll see.”

“We’ll see,” He mocks, bunching the wipes into a ball, tossing it in the bin. “Like we didn’t just have sex. I’m really hurt.” Kissing the pout off his lips and littering his face with tiny pecks, you can feel his cheek tense with his wide smile, eyes forming crescents as he basks in your affection.

Somehow, out of all the kisses he’s received in the past hour, this one set his heart racing the most.

think i've gone insane because ever since the start of the year my kai brainrot has been so bad. also his full name is a tick word for me, it's ust so fun to sayy

thank you for reading! feedback, reblogs and tags appreciated♡

[harmonicakai]

Anyone Else But You, a six-part series

It's starting to feel like you're the only person in the world that Huening Kai isn't best friends with, and you're determined to figure out why.

Part 1: The Only Exception

Part 2: Look After You

Part 3: This is Me Trying

Part 4: Like or Like Like

Part 5: Was It Something I Said?

Part 6: The End of Beginning

Epilogue: I’ll See You There Tomorrow

FIC INSPIRED SPOTIFY PLAYLIST <3