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hyukascampfire · 5 months ago

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𝑯EART 𝑊ORM

˒˒ 𝚑𝔢art𝚠𝔬rm a relationship or friendship that you can't get out of your head, which you thought had faded long ago but is still somehow alive and unfinished, like an abandoned campsite whose smoldering embers still have the power to start a forest fire.

﹙ 📼 ﹚“I was just... wondering,” you say, blood roaring. "Well, Yeonjun wants me to come over to his place this weekend, and... I’ve never...” Sucking in a quick breath, you just spit it out to get it over with, “Would you be my first kiss, Kai?”

childhood bsf ! kai x reader 17.9k smut angst fantasy ⤷ ft. asshole ! yeonjun x reader ⸺ angst, family issues, fingering, jealousy (i’m sorry i just love it), yeonjun really is an asshole, orgasm denial, thigh fucking, unprotected sex (they're stupid!), strength kink a lil bit, breeding kink, possessiveness, creampie, choking... i think that's all, lmk if i missed any ... 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡

ash ⦂ omg. this was such a fun palate cleanser to write. this wasn't supposed to be as big as it is, but it just kept getting bigger and bigger, and i got super into the story. this kai is SOOOO!! yeah. i’m so nervous posting this because i’ve only ever posted TSFAWC, but…. here you areee (^^;; this is not proofread, so if you see a mistake... give me a sec. i'll get to it. hehe

Though you fan your hand furiously over your face, the little breezes washing over your clammy skin are not enough. The air is thick and heavy with summer’s heat. So thick that you almost feel it each time you swallow. It’s better than just letting yourself melt away, though. The cushion at your back doesn’t help much. It holds your warmth and returns it to you the longer you sit slumped back into it. You suffer it though—you’ve gone too sluggish to move.

You let a leg dangle over the arm of a chair, watching a hopeful moth dance in the light of the buzzing porch light overhead. It flutters frantically in it, making a grand fight to reach that false moonlight, only to drop away when it realizes that it’s being burnt. You watch it rinse and repeat, relentless and sure, for who knows how long. It’s no special moth—no luna moth or the ones with the pretty pink wings—but the light falls down on it and colors it a pleasant stardust silver.

You delight in letting your conscious brain turn off to watch it. It lets you forget the sweltering under your skin, and also that Kai had drug you out here. His dad gives him shit when he plays inside, but it’s way too hot to be out here. Isn’t it supposed to cool off after the sun goes down? It doesn’t feel like it. The deep acoustics are drowned out each time a car whirrs by. Playing outside should be the best option, but you and Kai live right on a busy road.

When the roar of some car going ten miles over the speed limit doesn’t obscure his playing, though, you admire the intricacy of it. His fingers work up and down the neck, jumping frets that you imagine would be impossible to anybody without those long fingers of his. You had always been a loud supporter of his playing, even way back when the most he could play were simple chords, but you became especially so when a few years back he put a guitar in your hands and tried teaching you. Even with his fingers guiding yours, it was quick to learn that the effortlessness with which Kai handles the instrument is hard earned.

He practices on the acoustic guitar, but that’s not his domain. With houses just a dash across the street from each other, Kai had grown up at your home more than he had at his own. So vividly, you remember the stars in his eyes when he’d listen to your dad’s music. Metallica, The Smashing Pumpkins, Linkin Park, any of it. He had fallen in love with it a long time ago. Your whole life you knew that it was only a matter of time before he was in his own band, chasing his dreams with a boundless mind and an indelible vision of himself on stage. How had that time come so soon, though? You don’t know if the notebooks full of inky lyrics that live wherever he deems inspiration might hit him make you proud or nervous. He’s making good on his dazzling aspirations, and you?

You speak finally into the air, cutting through heat waves and his music and the night. “Isn’t it weird that we’re not going back to school after this summer?”

He doesn’t have to even stop playing to answer you. Playing comes to him as a second nature. “Kinda,” he answers, brown eyes flitting up to you. “But it’s not like you won’t be back to it in September. College is the same shit.”

The leg you’d been dangling and bouncing pauses. That’s right; you’re supposed to be going to that college you’d chosen because it was only a three-hour drive away from here. You pluck at the seat’s threadbare fabric, and the moth, still there, becomes oh-so-interesting once again. When his playing stops, you drop your head back with a cushioned thud and a groan that you wrangle in your throat.

“Why are you acting like that?” he says, voice gone sharp like accusation. He doesn’t even know the truth, but he’s known you too long.

Can’t you just keep secrets for yourself, sometimes?

Kai, arms clad in a well-loved hoodie even in this dreadful weather, lays the guitar down. You maintain your silence. “Seriously, what?”

Some secrets have timers, though. This one could only last you until about September, or even August when he realizes that you’re not preparing to return to school. A controlled sigh from your chest isn’t enough to soothe the nerves that sparks. “Nothing.”

“Secrets, huh?” Kai says. When you do finally look to him, black spikes of hair frame his eyes and the accusation in them.

It’s a simple poke, but it gets under your skin as sharp as any thorn might. It’s not like you don’t keep secrets from him, and you’re sure he keeps some from you too. But those are the little kinds, the inconsequential ones—like I ate already when asked why you’re not eating or like Yeah, I’m fine when it’s been a bad day. You don’t hide this kind of stuff from each other. Usually, you’d run over to his place to tell him whatever’s bothering you. Why not, when he’s known even the worst details of your life for almost the entirety of it? You’ve been holding this one close to your chest since somewhere around the end of senior year, though. The longer you let it fester, the worse your nervousness snowballs. “C’mon, Kai. Let’s not do this. Can you keep playing?”

He doesn’t like that, of course. But you watch recognition dawn over his chocolate brown eyes, helpless to stop it. “You’re not going,” he says. It’s not a question nor a suspicion, it’s a bone-dry fact.

Well. There that goes. You want to tear every hair on your head right out. Why had you even thought you’d keep him in the dark about it? When he’s not out in some garage making music, you two are together. The conversation was going to stroll by at some point; this was only inevitable. His disappointment radiates off him in waves and blisters you. He hasn’t even said anything yet, but you know exactly what he thinks of it. It’s why you kept it from him in the first place.

Your silence is enough confirmation for him. “Why?” he says. “I thought you were excited to move out.”

Wincing, you nod slowly. You were. Even went through the whole application process, along with most other kids your age. Ultimately, you never went through with declaring a college. You don’t exactly know why, but somewhere weaseled down in the shadowy recesses of your soul, you know. Taking those steps, the massive and terrifying ones from adolescence into adulthood, meant agreeing that this form of your life was over. It meant that at some point, you’d be moving away from here to where living your days away in Kai’s room would not be a choice. Everybody has to do it eventually, you know that. Kai’s music gig could take off any day, too. He’s going to make it happen. And then what? All this stalling and wishing on just a bit more time would mean nothing, he’d be off and chasing that dream. As excited as you are for it to finally become reality for him, there’s a nasty bitterness that’s budded in your chest, infecting your person.

Can’t things just stay like this?

“I was,” you say. It comes out of your mouth heavy.

“Then why aren’t you going?” he says. Crickets, never seen but always heard, sing their song into the night’s darkness. “You didn’t get rejected. You’re too smart for that.”

An ache sits heavily somewhere near the center of your chest, maybe over your heart. All those good grades, nights spent bent over a desk and AP paperwork—you’re wasting it. You shake your head. “No... just...” It’s an effort to dress your thoughts in a way that might appease him. A quiet moment stretches with your thinking before you continue, “I don’t know what I want to do.”

He doesn’t like that, the yellow wash of the overhead light dancing over his taut lips and hard eyes. “Don’t know what you want to do?” he says, bringing his legs up onto the seat to crisscross them. He wears his favorite jeans. They’re heel-bitten and baggy enough over his legs that he can wear them around the house without any bother. “You’ve wanted to be an artist your whole life. You know exactly what you want to do.”

Your chest only seems to ache harder. When the both of you were only young and hopeful, you both had big dreams. Kai was going to be the face of a metal band, and you were going to be an artist. A painter, potter, sculptor, even doing animation for those big companies like Dreamworks and Disney. You wanted any of it, just as long as you were doing art. You’d even promised him that you’d do the cover art for his albums with interlocked pinkies and flushed, hopeful cheeks. That passion and love wasn’t gone from you, it blazed strong in your veins. This blaze wasn’t the kind that kept you warm and excited to push forward into life, though. It had morphed into something that scalded you when you got too close or started imagining yourself pursuing its call. It’s a taunting silvery glow, no longer a guiding north star. Taunting words of family members stamped down on that hope hard. When you were little, it was said lighthearted and in passing. The older you got, though, the more serious their faces became. They wouldn’t say it outright perhaps, but you hear what they think well enough. Art is a dead-end career.

Shifting in your seat, you tell him, “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?” Kai says. “There are good colleges for that.”

“I just... don’t know.”

Shaking his head, he tells you, “But you love it.”

You do. In its every form, you love creating. But loving it doesn’t mean that it’s right for you, or that you should trust your future in its hands. “I think I can do it in my own time,” you say, finally pushing yourself upright from the cushion. “Don’t wanna kill the passion by doing it for a living, you know?”

He thinks on that for a moment. “If you love it, you should do it,” he says.

An awful frustration bubbles in your chest. Kai has always had a clear life path, the steps ahead of him set in stone and waiting for him to follow in them. It’s hard for him to see why you might not want to do the same. There’s nothing that makes you as happy as the fact that he has it all figured out, that he knows just where he’s going and that he’s so incredible at it that he doesn’t have to worry about meeting the requirements, but your path seems obscured and untrodden. Punctuating a deep, resonant sigh, you say, “It’s not that easy, Kai.”

“If you’re not doing that, then what are you going to do? Are you just going to settle for a nine-to-five?” he says full of accusation, the tapping on his knees gone still.

A dry laugh, you say, “Maybe I’ll marry a super rich guy and just do my art for a living. No nine-to-five.”

His face flashes. He’d always been a bit reserved, especially around others, but he bared his emotions freely around you. You hold them dearly to your chest and made sure to do your best to make good on that trust. He says, “You’re more than some guy’s housewife.”

Cheeks radiating in the heat, you snort. “I know, dork. I’m a rockstar’s best friend. It’s my personal favorite achievement.”

His face sours when you reach out and pinch hard at his cheek, but he doesn’t pull away or brush you off. The skin there is warmed and clammy. Really, the two of you should go meet the cool AC inside before you suffer heat stroke. But this moment feels so nice—your shoulders feel tons lighter without something to hide. If you had it your way, things would stay like this forever. Just the two of you, sat here like you have so many times before, just taking for granted the time you’ve got together.

His mouth opens to banter, probably something about how he’s not a rockstar yet or to get you back for calling him a dork. Wingbeat and sterling dashes about your face send the image into a blur, though. You’re a quick mess of limbs and a whipping head, as if it’ll chase the thing away from you.

“Seriously?” Kai says. You’d climbed halfway over him, elbows digging into him and knee doing a number on his thigh. “It’s a moth. You’re not scared of moths.”

Lingering for a few moments later to ensure the flying thing was nowhere on you or around you, you hold back a laugh before you climb off him and fix your hair with undignified tucks behind your ears. “He was in my face,” you say around a laugh, because you know it was a bit too much. Nobody likes wings in their ears and spindly legs in their face, though, and you’re in no control of what you do when anything with six legs tries and get too friendly. Even moths.

“You just wanted me to protect you,” he says. A sarcastic, shit-eating smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“Oh,” you scoff, batting your eyelashes and clasping your hands together all saccharine-sweet. “Yes, Romeo, won’t you kill that bug for me? This girl’s heart just can’t take it!”

Kai’s nose crinkles, and the playful light twists into a glare. “Nasty.”

“That’s how you sounded,” you say. “I only reacted accordingly.” Laughing, you kick your legs out over his lap and sprawl back out. He takes the guitar back into his hands.

As much as you want to escape the mugginess, you’ll survive it for just a little while longer—if only with the force of an indulgent heart. The eternal moments are those you allow to linger.

Some things, you forget when you’re older. Maybe it’s time’s hand, eroding memories down and stuffing more in the longer you live to experience them. But also maybe because they’re the sort of things you can’t say in the adult world without a laugh in the face and a look from down their noses.

This memory is one of those forgotten things. It’s moth-bitten and dusty, something you one day folded up in a moving box and decided to never revisit.

You’d been down at the creek. Kai and you had spent so many summer days there. It wasn’t too far from home, just past the filbert trees and into the shallow neck of the backwoods, but there you were out of sight and free to get up to nothing good. It was a wonder your mom ever let you do it. Kai’s dad didn’t care too much where he went or what he did, but your mom dug her claws in deep. You like to think that she imagined you two would have each other, if anything ever happened.

Usually, you’d be there holding your jeans up from the stream and Kai would be letting his jeans go dark with it. The bite of water was nice as it washed over warm skin. Fun was a simple thing to find, then. You dug your fingers into the mudbanks and tossed stones way too big to be throwing at each other, just because you two remembered how much the adults hated it when you did. Then, you’d drag tired limbs home avoiding sweetgum tree spikes that had fallen to the ground and dug splinters out from your feet.

This day, you had been in the blackberry bushes. It was maybe late July or early August, and they’d gotten heavy on their branches. You’d waited until the smell of them, summer-warmed, was sweet and cloying in the air to pick them. With buckets in your hands, you plucked only the fattest berries from their bunches. Your fingers were stained a delightful purple and perhaps a bit thorn raw, but you didn’t mind much then. You plucked for hours, and it was dusk before you could catch it. Dinner was no doubt waiting for you back home.

“There’s a bunch over here,” Kai had said. He reached a long boyish arm, still awkward and lanky with puberty, up high for ripe bush. You finished off picking before climbing around thick branches sticking out to take a peek. A bunch, there was.

When you went to drop a handful of them into your bucket, Kai hissed. He’d been snagged by a vicious looking branch, those ones as thick as a finger with thorns to match and you’d warn each other tongue-in-cheek to watch out for that one. He’d worn those ridiculous shorts that day, the ones that looked half pants half shorts with how long and baggy they were, and the claws of the bush had jumped at the opportunity. At first the scrapes were white, but then red blood crawled out and down his leg.

“Kai,” you said, some parts chiding and some parts just wondering how he’d managed that. You surveyed his leg for a bit, and then determined that he should wash his leg off in the stream. He walked there strong, but of course you noticed the hobble beneath his acting. When you squatted down into the dry grass and cupped water to wash off his leg, you laughed.

“What?” he had said, holding the shorts up. You covered your laugh with a hand, but it erupted past your palm. You remember the glare on his face very well.

You still laughed. “You’re stupid,” you had told him.

“I didn’t see it,” he said. “I tripped over it because it was sticking out.”

That time when you brought your hands to catch some water, there was a twinkle in its surface. You didn’t notice it for a second. The creek moved fast and you could see a lot of things in its reflection. When it lingered, that’s when your brows furrowed. It seemed to twirl, dancing around like alive over the stones.

The sound of Kai’s voice remains with you. “Hey,” he had said, strong to call your attention but also wavered with uncertainty.

When you looked up, there was silver dust dancing around you.

It was fluffy and whorling, fine silver stardust. It’d moved weightless in the air, as though it barely existed. In the center of it were a few moths. They seemed to be made of sterling powder just as the dust was, and they glowed against dusk’s backdrop. If your memory serves you right, there had been a sweet hymn of coos from them. They beckoned you. Summer’s heat felt lighter, and so did your chest. You wondered where they had wanted you to go.

Almost afraid that if you spoke they might have fluttered away, you whispered soft and low to Kai. “What is that?” He was stood frozen there, pant leg still scrunched up in his fist. Stardust glowed soft in his brown eyes while he took it all in, you remember. It wasn’t a scared frozen. You weren’t scared, either—rather, it was as if that lightness had found its way into the core of your being and brushed over it with mending hands.

He whispered back, “I don’t know.” How could he have known? It was absurd.

Those whisps had beckoned you, flowing toward the deeper woods. The soft moths, their murmuring brushing up against your ears, seemed to wait for you to follow. You remember a pull, soft tendrils wrapping themselves around your heart and the yearning it planted there.

But there was also this reluctance, a bone-deep answering that had told you: No. You’re not ready.

“Kai, I wanna go,” you told him.

You didn’t even need to tell him twice. Berry buckets forgotten; the journey home was a stranger one. When your dad asked why you returned from berry picking emptier handed than you had left the house, Kai and you only shared a look. You pair kept that evening at the creek hidden so well that it became more forgotten than shared secret.

Once, you had been the type of girl that loved being around family. Some of your favorite days of your life were spent in this living room, T.V. roaring over bouncing conversation. Some of those nights ended in rosy cheeks and laughs, and some ended with words thrown angry like fireworks. You never knew which you’d be getting, but you endured the fear of not knowing because it was a simple love—the basic kind built with biology into you the moment your infant skin touched your mother’s. You endured it because eventually, sleep washed away the bad taste left in your mouth and you forgave them quick, sometimes quicker than you ought to, and things would go on as if it hadn’t even happened. You endured it because you could handle its burden, if only to feel the warmth you feel when it’s a good day.

Kai was always there—his dad was hardly home, so he found family in yours. When you were younger, you’d been embarrassed he was there for caustic, spitted words and intimate fights. Now, you’re just grateful for his shoulder.

So, yes. Once, you had loved being around your family. But things feel tenser now, nights spent all together less frequent and when they do happen, they’re tainted by a strange air. You think that this strangeness is new, but an awful worry also makes you think that it’d always been there, that you only feel it now because you’ve grown into your adult mind. A hollow ache stakes its claim in your chest, declaring that it won’t leave until you find that youthful ignorance and joy once more. You think that it might stay there forever.

Bare feet bounding down the stairs, you make a rare appearance downstairs. The cupboard is only half open to make way for a snack raid before your mom’s voice cuts through the air. You know quickly just by the look on her face that you should’ve stayed upstairs.

“Hey,” she says, gathering laundry into a basket. “You’ve been applying to jobs?”

With an anxious belly, you tell her, “Yeah. A few. They’re not really, like, ideal, but I sent applications.” You don’t remember when it got hard to look into your mother’s eyes, but you can’t bring yourself to do so now.

“Not ideal?” she says. “It’s not like you can be picky. Mcdonalds or wherever, I don’t care, you’re going to need to get a job if you’re staying here.”

“I know. I applied,” you reiterate around a mumble. You close the cabinets, not so interested in a snack anymore. “I just... I don’t know, ma. I don’t want to do that for a living, going between those sorts of jobs.”

Face hard and abrasive against the truth you bare, she does that awful taunting smile that makes you feel small. Stupid. “You’re not going to college, so that’s what it’s gonna be. You can’t sit up there and draw for a living. You’ve gotta get into the real world, get some real experience.”

There’s a burst of hurt in your chest, dazzling and gnawing. She’s getting closer to saying how she really feels about your dreams out loud every day. Your face burns and so do your eyes, knot thick in your throat. “Yeah, okay. Got it,” you say, nodding. You’re at the front door before you even know it, slipping on shoes and fighting the greatest internal battle to will back tears. She’d use those against you, no doubt about it. “I’m going to Kai’s,” you throw over your shoulder.

Whatever she barks back at you, you’re glad you don’t hear. Bells on some old Christmas decoration hung on the door that had yet to be taken down, even into summer, jingle and wash it away for you.

Kai’s brows shoot up when he opens the door to your face crumpling. You’d done so well at damming it up, but the wall cracks and the water crashes through once you see him. If it were anybody else, you’d feel icky and attention seeking, but you’d held Kai to your chest through gut-wrenching sobs as much as he’s done it for you. Without question, he takes you into his arms, warm hand running up and down your back. The warm soothing is so familiar. You melt right into it.

He keeps you there for a long moment. Then, his chest rumbles as he tells you, “Come on.” The walk through the AC to his bedroom is nice. Having a house like Kai’s to come to where it can just be you is nice, too. You step around the mess of clothes and scattered belongings on his floor like you have a muscle-memory roadmap of his room. Boxsprings creak and hard mattress welcome you back home. His room is dark as always, a night-dweller you call him. The array of peeling band posters plastered over walls you two had painted blue some years ago, when it’d been his favorite color, don’t help to lighten it up. He keeps a low lamplight on.

“She never listens to me,” you say, crying gone to occasional sniffles from your chest. You rest your cheek on your bent knee.

“I know,” he says. “But at least she cares about you. Pays attention to you.” His voice is soft and deep and right next to you. Always right next to you, there for you even when you might not appreciate it as you should.

His dad cares too little what he does, and yours care too much. The grass is always greener on the other side, you know it. Still, you hold a fantasy where you’re able to do teenager stuff. Where you’d allow yourself to do bad things, because you weren’t so intent on painting yourself with their will. You two hold eyes for a long moment, your twinkling ones caught in that steady brown. “I just want to get away. Be my own person.” Your words are muffled in the softness of your skin.

“You had the chance to do it,” Kai says, hand playing with your fingers. “But you didn’t.”

Holding your legs closer, you lick your lips. What do you say to that? Would it ever be the time to tell him that you did it because you think that your soul is pathetically intertwined with his, and that it might snuff your lifeforce out to even try pursuing life without him? Without this? How do you tell him that you’re so frozen and unwilling to pursue any sort of future because it means accepting that this chapter is over? You clutch childhood to your chest like a wild animal guarding scarce food; you refuse. You refuse to acknowledge its end.

“Kai,” is all you say, trembled and thick. It’s not just your mother’s words that dig at you and tear to shreds the last bits of what dreaming you had left in you, but so many other reality checks too. This isn’t the first time you’ve heard those sorts of words, urging you forward. You can only dig your heel into the ground for so long before you’re swept away in time’s ruthless, endless moving.

He understands. Lifting your face with warm fingers against your cheeks, he says, “Hey. How about we go get ice cream, or something?”

Ice cream does sound nice. “Dairy Queen?”

Smirk tugged over his mouth, he says, “Yes, Dairy Queen. A blizzard. C’mon, let’s go.” Sliding off the bed, he offers you an urging hand up.

But you falter. “I don’t know if we can. She’s mad at me. I don’t think she’ll let me go.”

“Let you go?” he says, eyes narrowed. “She doesn’t have to let you go. You’re an adult now, you go if you want to.” He offers his hand to you again.

It’s so him, freely going wherever he ordain it. The bullheadedness is very him, as well. Always the devil on your shoulder, he was the root of any rebellious thing you’ve ever done. He could never understand your apprehension, or why getting in trouble was such an awful thing to you. “I have to ask to get money.”

Brows pinching, he says, “You think I’m not gonna pay for you? You don’t need them to give you money, I’ll pay. I’ll take care of it.” He drags you up from the bed this time. “Live a little. Do you want to go?”

It was never the punishments or the getting in trouble that you were scared of, though. Disappointment was a scarier word than grounded. Sneaking out and those sorts of things, it’s not like you had angel wings at your back and never considered them. It’s that you are deeply, utterly terrified of changing how they look at you. You begin to tell him, “I do, but—”

He cuts you off, adamant. “Then do it. Let’s go. If you want to go, then go,” he says. “At some point, your life needs to become your own. It’s not sneaking out when you’re graduated and eighteen years old, it’s going wherever the hell you want. You’ve... You’re gonna end up stuck here, in this town, forever. You don’t deserve that.”

That sounds like both the best and the worst thing you’ve ever heard. You take his hand.

Your frozen fingers nurse your ice cream. The cup itself is cold, but the Dairy Queen on your side of town is always thirty degrees below what it should be. It’d always been that way. Even way back when you two couldn’t drive, you’d get dropped off here to escape the melting weather and get a frozen treat with a handful of dollars. Each time, you’d start off sagging with the relief of summer’s weight off your shoulders and left the place shivering and sugar-mouthed.

It’s really only you two in here. You crinkle your nose when he takes a spoonful. “Out of all the flavors...”

Unbothered and no doubt expecting you to say it, he offers you a flat, “You get your flavor, I get mine.” He makes a point of taking an extra-long bite. His lips linger around the red plastic of the spoon and his brows rest high in silent challenge.

The corners of your lips twitch up. “Hmm. Well. I just have a hard time believing that Oreo... or, like, brownie fudge, is right there, and you actually want M&M. I don’t get how M&M your favorite.” A familiar banter falls over your tongues. Your heart buzzes and your cheeks radiate. This is the first you’ve done this all summer, and it’ll be weaning off into fall soon. Any other summer, you would’ve been here on all the hottest days. You hate that Kai’s been so busy with his music; you hate that you can hear the resounding ticks of the clock counting down your time. You also hate that the stubborn depths of you still believe that if you freeze yourself here in stasis that the world will relent and stop along with you.

You look over the sharp lines of Kai’s jawline as it feathers with his chewing, and the broadness of his shoulders where his jacket stretches around it, and the starkness of his collarbones against his chest and the bobbing of his adam’s apple when he swallows. No, time doesn’t stop. Some of him remains the same, though. In it, you see the boy that had love creeping up on you so long ago, with all its aching and all its hope. That freckle on the column of his neck, the bump in his nose leading down to the button tip that beckons your lips to steal a quick kiss.

And, those lips. They’re as soft as ever around the discontented grimace he pulls. “M&M isn’t my favorite.”

With a pursed mouth and patronizing brows arched over your eyes, you say, “Oh, huh. That’s funny, because if my memory serves me right, it’s the only flavor you’ve ordered for the past... six years.”

Kai husks a laugh at that. “That’s because they haven’t had my favorite for years,” he tells you, scooping up the final bit and then pushing it off to the side. “It was a blizzard of the month that they discontinued. The blackberry cheesecake one. I made peace with it, though. It lives on in my heart.” He grins, arms crossed over his chest and his back settled into the booth seat to let you finish your cup.

“Blackberry cheesecake,” you say, voice made taunting. Your nod is slow and taunting, too. “Well, forget M&Ms. Why would blackberry cheesecake be your favorite? Ever?”

His face falters, a moment where something flows over his eyes as if reliving a memory in a few short seconds. Then, he shrugs. “It just is.”

You roll your eyes. “Whatever,” you laugh. “Maybe my palate is unrefined.” Imagining the tarte fruit in purple swirls of ice cream, you’re taken back to a humid July day and the scent of churned mud.

The strange memory unfolds itself quick. As if it were waiting for you to find wherever it’d hidden itself away. With a sharp gasp, you say, “Oh my god, Kai. Do you remember that one day? That weird stuff we saw down at the creek?”

He nods. “Yeah. I was just thinking of that the other day, actually...”

Less interested in finishing your cup now, you let the spoon rest. “What?” you say, the word peaking in the middle. That day hadn’t crossed your mind once since it’d happened. “How weird is that?”

Scoffing a laugh, he says, “Weird, yeah. Just as strange as two kids high on fermented berries.”

That draws a breathy laugh from you. “Is that what you think it was?” you ask him with knitted brows. The berries had been fresh, and you two had popped plenty into your mouth. But no doubt, you’d have spat them right back out if they were that ripe. “I mean, we saw the same thing.”

“It happens to animals all the time. Squirrells, and stuff.” He lends you a gallic shrug. “We just freaked ourselves out. Like that one time you said you saw the shape of something in the dark and we freaked out. And it was clothes.”

Well, hallucinating, in tandem, a glowing mist because you two by chance ate fermented berries is a very long shot. However nonchalant he acts about it, he seems to have thought long and hard about it. Enough to reason it away with some far cry explanation. Would you have even been able to get drunk off a handful of fermented berries? And, god, you’re really sure that you’d have noticed. That taste isn’t really one you just don’t notice.

Whatever. Maybe you were just drunk idiots. That’s a lot easier to swallow, anyway.

“Okay, but you saw that. Did it not look sinister?” you say. With your spoon back in your hand, you punctuate the sentence pointing it at him. “You freaked out with me, too.”

An unsatisfied scowl on his lips, he steals a spoonful of your dessert. You don’t even swat him away—your phone buzzes in your pocket.

Catching sight of who’s calling, you share a long look with Kai. It’s funny, how fast those three white letters scramble you up. When you hesitate to answer, Kai tells you, “Answer.”

You hope she can’t tell you’re not at Kai’s by the refrigerators’ dull buzzing. It’s an effort to tussle that invasive worry back. You’re at Dairy Queen. Getting ice cream with the boy she’s known since childhood. She should clutch her hands and thank the sky that you’re here, not out in some nasty frat house like you could be. You thumb the green button.

Her voice comes through the speaker crackled and asking you to run over to do a quick dish load. For a heartbeat you consider telling her that you will and then start rushing home. Instead, you fork out the truth through resistant lips.

The hangup tone sits heavy on the air between you and Kai. Having listened to the whole thing on speaker, he says, “What was so hard about that? The world didn’t end, did it?”

The plush of your lip takes a hard gnawing. No, it hadn’t. “I know she’s not going to get mad at me for just going here,” you say as you rest your elbows onto the table. “It’s that they’re supporting me right now. I still live under their roof. The more I go around and insist I can do whatever I want, they’ll start reminding me of it.”

His face drawn, he lets his mouth twitch to one side. “Yeah,” he muses. “I never thought yours would be the type to kick you out.”

Kai’s dad had started threating him with getting kicked out years ago, when he first started telling him that he wanted to do music. How many times had he let reluctant tears flow into your shoulder over it? Because music wasn’t a real job? Back then, you’d whispered in his ears that he’d become everything he’d dreamed of and more as your fingers carded through shaggy locks of hair.

“I don’t know,” you say, humming it out noncommittally. “Is your dad still... y’know?”

Nodding slowly, his eyes tell. “Yeah. Always.”

“Because you’re taking the band seriously, now?” you ask.

“Probably. I don’t give a shit what he thinks about it. If I’m just his goddamn problem, I’ll give him what he wants soon enough.” His eyes blaze with promise of it.

It takes a bit out of you to not wince. Kai living anywhere but in the house across from yours is wrong. “I don’t think he necessarily wants that, Kai...” You take his hand in your icy ones, the urge to reach out to him thinly veiled under the guise of searching out warmth. He’d always run warmer than you—your personal heater. “It’s probably because he can see that you’re doing it for real. Not just saying it anymore.”

“Yeah, well,” he spits, “I can’t fucking wait to see what he’ll say to me when I make it. That piece of shit, though, he wouldn’t even care. It’s not like he ever gave a shit about me enough for it to matter.”

But, it matters to you, you want to tell him. You understand his need to throw it all in his face, though. “Is that one label going to sign you? The one you were talking about?”

His tongue darts out to wet dry lips. “They haven’t yet. I don’t know. But I don’t need that money to get out of here, I’ve been working on it.”

“They will,” you say. “But, where would you go? Not too far?” You try and keep it light and playful, even as your heart aches.

“Come with me,” he says. It’s painfully blunt, as if it were that simple. “Let’s go get and apartment; you and me.”

“Kai...” you say. “You don’t have to drag me along because you feel bad.”

The idea doesn’t sound half bad, though.

“What?” His face tightens, as if somewhere under the surface your words had scraped somewhere tender. “You don’t have to stay here forever. Please. I want... I want you to come with me. You wouldn’t have to even tell them; just bring all your stuff and go together. We could do it together. Like we said we would.”

“We were like, five. Everybody tries to pretend running away at five,” you deadpan. It’s a washy attempt at lightening things back up.

Living with him, moving out together, should feel like everything you’ve ever wanted. And, maybe it is. But, he’s not asking you to live with him the way you want him to. Not in the way that your aching heart wishes he would.

Kai doesn’t share the laugh you give him. “Yeah, okay,” he says, leaning into the table.

Perhaps you should consider the potent disappointment he’s terribly masking with a face of indifference, though.

Slowly, the knots in your belly have worked themselves out. When Kai had dropped you off, they’d been so awful that you felt borderline sick. You sat the whole ride there in his old beat-up truck picking at your nails and rambling to him. He listened to you the whole time. And then when it was time to walk in, it had least felt a little easier to do so with his eyes on you, watching to make sure you made it in safely.

You’d gotten a job. It’s not too bad, folding clothes out on display. It would be nice if they kept the lights a bit brighter, but you’ll get used it eventually, you hope.

Most of your coworkers are around your age, but the one showing you the ropes... your heart had fluttered.

“You’ll get it,” Yeonjun says. The smile you find on his lips once he straightens up from placing product on a display is smooth and smug. Sleek strands of black hair fall over his eyes. You fluster under his gaze.

With arms crossed over your chest you say, “Yeah, probably.” You reach into the cardboard box for stock to practice on.

“Where’d you work before this?” he asks, leaning back into a wall to watch you. Suddenly, you make sloppier work of your folding. “Your first retail job?”

Some obnoxious pop song falls down from the speakers over the store. Nobody’s in here yet, thankfully; you’ve got some time to try and get a handle on everything. “No, this is my first job. I was so nervous walking in.”

Interest catches in his eyes. It encourages that smooth smile on his lips further. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll show you the reins.”

Your mind stalls. The suggestive, sly flicker to it—are you looking too much into it? Maybe that’s just how guys like Yeonjun act. It’s hard to pretend that you don’t see how he’s looking at you, though. It has your belly twisted up in fluttery knots. It’s not like you hadn’t had your share of his type. But, for some reason you’d rather not address, he’s got your heart thumping in your chest.

He laughs at your fifth attempt to fold up the shirt. When he takes it from you to help, he smells of musk and vetiver. “You going to college near here?” he continues.

“Nah, just doing this, I guess,” you answer, watching him fold it up to try and soak it up.

“Really? Why not?” he hums, crossing his arms about his chest. “You seem like a smart girl.”

Buffering, your blood buzzes in your veins and your cheeks burn. “Dunno. Not really sure what to do. Are you in college?”

“Nah. I’m trying to figure things out, too.”

The both of you pop your heads up when the bell rings to announce the arrival of a customer.

“Yeah,” you say, eyeing him. He’s a few years older than you, no doubt, and yet his life hasn’t fallen apart because he’s not done anything grand yet.

Time’s hand around your neck loosens. Just a little bit.

You sit crisscrossed on top of Kai’s bedsheets. He’d thrown the windows open because the AC died, but it’s no help. The hot air wafting about the room sits heavy on your skin. You’d dressed in as little material as possible to let it breathe, bare thighs clad in a pair of loose shorts and a thin tank top, but it’s still miserable.

Perhaps you two should be going over to yours, but you haven’t had time alone with him for a few weeks now. You hate this busier life, where you struggle to make room for this.

Your new job isn’t so awful, though. Especially with Yeonjun there. A bout of nerves flows up through your stomach. That reminds you.

Sitting up a bit straighter, you consider not doing it. In fact, you really shouldn’t. But your mouth moves before you can put a stopper on it.

“Hey, Kai,” you say. The thickness in your throat makes you believe that your heart’s jumped up into it, caught. God, what are you doing? The unsure waver in your words has you regretting.

His eyes flicker up to yours. He hums out a, “Huh?”

No, this is wrong. You mess with the thin cotton strap of your tank top where it’d slipped down. “Never mind,” you tell him, trying to shrug it off.

That piques his interest. “No, what?” His brow pinches.

You lick your lips and shake your head. “Nothing, never mind. Really.”

His eyes search you from where he sits up against the wall. “Tell me,” he demands.

Really, you shouldn’t have said it in the first place. It was a ridiculous idea. But now you know he’s not going to let it go. And, ridiculously, you say it. “I was just... wondering,” you say, blood roaring. "Well, Yeonjun wants me to come over to his place this weekend, and... I’ve never...” Sucking in a quick breath, you just spit it out to get it over with, “Would you be my first kiss, Kai?”

Insects buzz outside as he looks at you, frozen in spot. You reject the urge to dart away or throw up. You’re honestly just as shaken as him. But really, who else could you trust with something like that? You don’t want Yeonjun to be disappointed if he kisses you, or to seem inexperienced to him.

And, perhaps, the hopelessly in love part of you hopes to at least feel his lips on yours at least once. If you’re going to be alone forever in your longing, you just wish that you can have this.

“What?” Kai says. He looks rattled.

Of course, he’s shocked. You shift. “Forget I said that,” you tell him, unable to meet his gaze.

String-roughened fingers wrap around your upper arm. “I didn’t say anything,” he says, voice strained and face less shock-fallen and more darkened. “But... I mean, you want me to teach you to kiss for some other guy.” He spits out the last bit as if bitter in his mouth.

“You don’t have to do it,” you say. “I just... thought that I might ask you to do it. I don’t know, I’m sorry I said it. I’ll just wing it or something.” His room’s grown ten degrees hotter, if that was possible. Especially where you feel his eyes on your face.

Almost imperceptibly, his hand tightens around you. He swallows hard. “You want to learn how to kiss?” he says. “Fine. I’ll teach you.”

In a heart-stopping moment, your eyes snap to his. Brown and familiar, they hold you with an intensity that turns your limbs into jelly. The air is stifling. “What... do I do?” you ask when the silence becomes too heavy.

A muscle feathers in his jaw, reflected in the low light of his room. It’s quick and so easy to miss, but it tells you everything you need to know about how this is making him feel. How much disbelief he’s in. “Come here,” he says, stilted around the absolute absurdity of it. He pats on his lap.

You make a hesitant crawl across the bed toward him. It seems as though your elbows might buckle beneath your weight, but you make it despite the odds. A fog settles over your brain when you rest your hands on his shoulders and bring your legs to straddle his lap.

But you shove it back; you want to live and breathe every last second of this. No matter how unbelievable or blistering it is.

Breaths fan out over your face. It’s seizing your mind like undiluted liquor. “Where do I put my hands?” you ask him. It’s breathless, the air stolen right from your lungs though your mouths haven’t even touched.

“There is fine,” he says. His words sound breathless, too. The weight of his touch on you as he runs his own up to support your back is unsure. “And then...” he says. It falls out on your mouth slowly, and then he’s taking your lips onto his.

The walls melt away, sound does too. All that is real is the taste of his lips and how they move against you. Your lips start tentative, but you try his mouth movements yourself. It feels like a timid dance—it feels like deep, deep down, finally everything is right. That mist, thick and blinding, falls back over you.

Something changes. Something in it, where you two meet, changes. He becomes hungry. Softly locked lips turn biting and nipping, shaky breaths exhaled slow through your nose. His hands on your back become surer, and one even ventures off to grab your chin. The other holds you to his chest, melded together despite the intense smoke and flame rolling off your bodies. You wonder if he can feel your heart beating a mess there.

Reluctance paints you both when you pull back. You’re panting deep drinks of air. It’s hard to think; your mind’s run off and sits just out of reach. Licking your messy lips, stained with illicitness, you can only manage to brush your fingers against it to form words. “How... was that?” you say, searching his eyes. You find his pupils blown so wide that they consume the warm brown. You’re ready to jump out of your skin with that look pointed at you.

Kai doesn’t answer, though. He slams your mouths back together as if starved by just the brief moment you’d parted for air. Nips on your bottom lip and emboldened hands—he moves like roaring water through a dam. A dam that he’d worked hard to fortify, and yet, at a crack it’s all falling down. Fingertips digging through the fabric of your shorts down to your soft hips, his chest rumbles. You feel it reflected in your core, electricity charging there and shooting up your spine and down your thighs.

You kiss him for all the times you wish you would’ve, but didn’t. The slight rolls of your hips down onto him come easy. You love how it has him making a sound into your mouth and taking the fat beneath his fingers harder into his hands. He helps you.

He drops his head into your neck. Your head swims for air and he has you shuddering with just the brushing of his nose against the column of your neck. The walls of his room spin around you. “Kai,” you whine, every bit of friction his jeans provide, even clothed as you are, just enough to rile you but not to give you what you need.

“God,” he growls, thumbs hooking under your waistband. “You always fucking run around dressed in nothing,” he says, letting his fingers linger like a suggestion of undressing you. “Did you do it on purpose? Expect to make me crazy, knowing I couldn’t touch you?”

And, in those words, it seems that he steals every last bit of breath from you. How often had you gone braless or worn something like this around him? Laid here, in his bed, like that?

Grown tired of your fruitless grinding, he brings a hand down to support your lower back and says, “Turn around.”

Though you explode with the prospect of what he might be intending to do or what’s next, if you’re really going to do this, you do so in a flash of eager limbs. His chest is solid against your back, you melt against the feeling of it. He’d become such a man lately, filled out, and you watched it happen. It was hard for your eyes not to catch on muscle-corded forearms while he picked at strings or to not appreciate the timbred rumble of his voice when you’d feel it come from his chest. How could it not do things to you? Now, he’s dragging your shorts down your legs and you’re in disbelief.

“Fuck,” he breaths out. His fingers find your panties soaked through. “So, you’re the type to get dripping wet.”

An embarrassed blush decorates your cheeks. Kai drags his index finger in circles around your clit through the fabric as if enamored with how much of a mess you’d made of it. Your hips twitch every time he rolls right over it. It’s strange how he’s got your body acting on its own volition with his touches. Even stranger that it’s your best friend doing it. “Sorry,” you tell him, wavering.

He continues those terribly slow circles. “Sorry?” he says, chin on your shoulder. He’s got you wrapped up in him, with nowhere to go but to melt back into him and let his fingers work. Free hand on one of your inner thighs digging divots into the plushness there to hold it still, he tells you, “It’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s hot as fuck. You’re so excited for me to touch you, huh?”

The words wreak havoc on you, feeding the flame that has your belly twisted up tight and the ignition point between your thighs pounding. To hear them coming from him, reserved Kai, has you digging your fingers into his forearm to prove that it’s real. You’d never have imagined him being so... filthy. You imagine him behind falsely nonchalant eyes, devouring you with a perverted mind all the times you’d spent innocently sitting together in this room.

Your cheeks squish beneath his fingers as he takes your face and turns it to him. He wants to make sure you’re look at him as he asks you, “Do you want me to finger you?”

Like a record, your brain skips. Between the blunt, lewd question and his hand on you, it’s in overload. How could he ask something like that so simply? Stunned as you are, of course you want him to. You want him to do anything to you. You nod.

Every last nerve and neuron in your system, just below the skin, cry out when his fingers slow down to nothing. “Hmm?” he says, ignoring the chasing of your hips and the opening of your thighs to invite him into paying your poor pussy the attention he’d ripped from it. He wants to hear you say it.

About ten minutes ago, you lost your mind. It does not return to you now. “I want you to,” you say, chest beating in tandem with your cunt.

“You want me to, right? Not some dumbass you met a week ago, huh?” he says. “Because you know that this is what it’s meant to be. Me, doing these things to you. Not some twenty-five-year-old piece of shit. He doesn’t deserve you, baby. Understand?”

His fingers slider under your panties. Dumb brained and cognition gone muddled, you nod. All you can really think about is the moment his fingers slide over you. Fire licks up your lower belly and your insides as he brushes calloused finger tips finally right against your clit.

Puffed breaths of a scoff raise goosebumps over your skin. “Teach you to kiss so that you can go over there and get his hands on you,” he says, middle two fingertips prodding at your entrance. “As if you were ever anybody’s but mine. You’d come crawling back to me, baby, because it was always meant to be us. He could never satisfy you.”

His words might alarm you or have you asking questions if he hadn’t pushed his fingers into you and begun curling them with strong, pointed presses, pulling soft mewls and hums from you until he finds a spot that twists up your insides. Even through the palm you press over your mouth, your moans come out more like wavering grunts and croaks. Your thighs quiver and twitch, threatening to snap closed against your own will with each. Only your feet stay planted to the mattress. Like a cone of soft serve under the sun’s blistering attention, you melt down him. Just his frame keeps you upright.

“Right there, huh?” he says. The smirk on his mouth filters his words into something taunting. “That’s where you like it.” It’s like he’s learning your body step by step, fulfilling all the questions he’d been forced to only guess at before this.

“Uh-huh.” It comes out whiny and cracks in the middle, but you can’t find even an ounce of you to care right now. If this moment had been a long spiral, a fall from grace, down into a dark pit of forgotten inhibitions, you’ve just hit the bottom. Cheeks blazing cherry blossom pink and with your fingers curling into his pant leg, you don’t doubt that you are a picturesque mess. The kind of mess that’s beautiful because it’s dirty. Your teeth are not gentle on your plush bottom lip. It stings, tugged back and bitten and still a bit swollen with kisses. Perhaps you taste the tang of metal on it, but you pay it no mind.

Kai redoubles his efforts. Now that he knows exactly how to play you, he’s fucking you on his fingers without mercy. The sounds coming from your cunt were wet, but now they’re different— nasty squelching. The only noises coupling with your pathetic keening. Forget anchoring yourself on his thigh, forget muffling your sounds. Instead, your hands fly to encircle his flexing forearm. Under your nails, angry red crescents dig into the muscle there. What had been a languid, building pleasure suddenly becomes everything. Your breaths run away from you, and you chase them frantically. Deep down in your core, the muscles spasm and rage against his fingers. “H—oh god,” you groan. Even the muscles in your thighs and tummy tighten up.

“So whiny...” Kai mumbles, voice taut with the effort of eroding you down into pure, blinding-white pleasure.

And then, in a swoop of mercy, your belly tightens. You hover here, on the precipice of something so consuming and voracious that your muscles and bones reject it, and yet your heart sings. Your eyes and cheeks and lungs and belly burn, the flame charring the edges of you in a beckon. You answer its call. Kai doesn’t mind the snapping of your legs shut around his arm, nor does your bucking or shaking deter him. He just holds you through it, arm like a metal bar around your waist. He’s everywhere, in this moment—the smell of him, leather and utterly familiar, his mouth dusting hot kisses over your skin, his fingers guiding you through orgasm. Where you’d gone silent in the initial crash of it, you devolve into mewls and grunts as you come down.

He holds you even as you slump against him boneless. Afterglow simmers in your veins and has your brain all lethargic and lazy. Neither of you speak for a while, your pulse thumping a rhythm. His breaths rise and fall against you; it grounds you in this moment where you feel all spacey and gone. You become aware again of how disgustingly sweltering it is in his room, your skin sheened.

That brainless bliss only lasts you for so long, though. When rational mind returns to you, no matter how you wish it wouldn’t, you’re hit in the chest with regret so hard it knocks the wind out of you.

How will anything ever be the same after what you’d just done? Stricken still by the thought, you barely register him pulling his fingers out of you. After all your worrying about making sure no wedge comes between you two, look what you’ve gone and done. No; nothing ever will be the same again.

A couple of weeks ago, you ruined the one friendship you were supposed to have forever. It presses down heavy one you while you sit sprawled out on Yeonjun’s couch, his arm around your shoulder. His phone casts a glow over his features with all the lights out.

It doesn’t smell like home. He, pressed against your side, doesn’t smell like home.

Some stupid movie that he’d picked out, yet somehow you’ve ended up the only one still watching it, weaves a hum into the quiet of his apartment. Tangy hurt wells up in your throat. Even the moments when you and Kai would sit in mutual silence on your phones never felt like this. This is different.

You haven’t seen Kai since that night. He’s been busy getting ready to move out, and you’ve been here most days. How fast all of it had changed. You wish you’d feel whiplashed, left empty, by the drifting that you’d been so terrified of. But you don’t. It’s just been you, locked on land, watching him being taken away by the ocean’s tide with no way to change its course. You tried and screamed to call him back, but now your voice has gone hoarse.

And instead of watching him go, you choose to look elsewhere. It’s all you can do to protect yourself from the hurt.

“Hey,” Yeonjun says, finally addressing you rather than whoever’s he’s got in his phone. “Did you bring anything to change into?”

“I brought stuff to sleep in,” you say, eyeing him. You know that’s not why he’s asking. If it came down to it, you could just steal something from him and pull it on. He means going out clothes. Your jaw tightens. “But nothing nice. Why?”

He stretches his arms behind his head in a flaunt of long arms and tanned muscle. Hours spent at the gym lent him those; you appreciate the look of it with a watering mouth. Kai had earned his build by hours spent outside with your dad, because his own could care less, helping him fix up cars and vehicles of all ridiculous sorts. You remember when Kai had first gotten his truck—junk on wheels, honestly—he’d spent so much of summer out there getting it running. And, well... the sun-kissed bronze of his skin and frame that came with it, you had no qualms with.

But those memories only sit heavy in your chest as you’re sat here beside Yeonjun. You banish them elsewhere; you need to let him drift off. If you can’t have each other, and your feelings won’t permit just being friends, then you have to. You want him to do amazing things, and you fear that it’s your presence in his life that will interrupt that. As much as your feelings are real, they are selfish. You, your unsure direction and all your dead weight, should let him go. Because you love him.

“The guys want to come over,” he tells you, pushing off from the couch. “You should probably into change into something less showy.”

Less showy. Your mouth drops into a scoff of disbelief, looking down. A pair of shorts and a shirt, showy? You have to laugh, or else you’ll succumb to the strange embarrassment crawling at the back of your skull. What’s he trying to say? Is that what he thinks of you? “What’s that supposed to mean?” you say, face tilted up to him in a twist of distaste. “I’m wearing something comfy.”

He shrugs, hands shoved into the pockets of his black sweats. “Don’t want to give them the wrong idea about you, that’s all, baby. They’re guys; I just want to protect you.”

“No,” you say, the word falling out in a barked laugh. “Why would you even be bringing over dudes that you think will look at me like that? Why are you even friends with people that you think are gonna make moves on your girlfriend?” He holds a hand out to you, but your hands stay right where they are: crossed solidly over your chest.

Throwing that hand up in audacious exasperation, he gives you a look that makes you feel small and petulant—like you’re throwing an overblown fit. And, maybe you are. You should probably just do it; him seeing you as some overbearing or high maintenance girl has that embarrassment flaring like wildfire that’s found dry brush. “C’mon, baby,” he says, a lazy smile on his mouth that gets under your skin. “Let’s just have an easy night. Don’t make it a big deal.”

Let’s just have an easy night. As if you’re the one ruining the night. Something snarky tries to seize your tongue, but you hold it down. “I thought it would be just us. We wanted to watch the movie together, Yeonjun. Can’t you wait to hang out with your friends? Let’s enjoy our time together; you’ve got your shift tomorrow.”

“My fucking god,” he groans, running a hand through his hair furiously. “You’re needy, you know that? The neediest I’ve ever had to put up with. I don’t put up with needy, baby. Can’t you just chill out a little? My last didn’t mind when I’d have friends over.”

Your eyes burn. Your cheeks burn. He’d been with plenty of other girls before you; that, you’re well aware of. It’s been a corrosive source of self-doubt for you. You don’t want that title: the neediest he’s ever had. Don’t want him to think of you as some prude that won’t let him have fun. Just... hearing him bring up the other girls he’d been with before you stings and leaves welts no different from a slap in the face. Feelings of inadequacy shackle you and have you saying, “Fine. I’m gonna borrow some of your clothes.”

Heavy resentment blooms on your skin where he bends down and presses kisses to your cheek, and then mouth, and then down your neck. “Thank you, baby.”

And, where those ugly, wilted flowers of it bloom, you hear echoes of something. Something that tells you that Kai wouldn’t treat you like this. But you’ve made your bed, decided to do it yourself, and now you’ve got to lay on it.

The frat parties are the worst kind of social outing that Yeonjun insists upon. The smaller kinds, more intimate gathering with just his closer friends, you tolerate much easier. You’re not fond of the circles he chooses. Breathing in thick, smoked-out air surrounded by alcohol-coated breaths is not your type of fun night. Somehow, you end up doing that more than date nights. But that’s better than being here. The base rumbles up through your feet and makes your stomach sick, and it reeks of grinding bodies and body odor, and condensation coats your fingers from the red solo cup as full as when you’d first gotten it.

But, still, you come along. Not every time, but when you don’t, you lay in his bed sickening yourself with images of what he might be doing here. How pathetic is it to attend parties with your boyfriend because you fear that otherwise, he might stick his tongue down the throats of other girls?

You’re looking for him right now, awkward and left alone. He’d promised to stick around; you had begged him to. That was pathetic, too. You know that you put up with too much. If he loved you, or honestly even liked you, you two would be in the thick of the throngs dancing or off somewhere talking with others. Together. The frantic skimming and weeding of your eyes through the blur of faces is not right. That’s not how he should make you feel. It’s not how Kai would make you feel.

Well, Kai would never have you here in the first place.

Venturing out from your little corner, you sift between the bodies of people have a hell of a lot better time than you. Drunken, some you bounce off of like bumper carts. You press your palm over the round face of your cup to spare the floor from spillage threatening to pour over the lip. It’s not like a splash from yours would matter much, though. The linoleum has already been made a fetor mess of dirt off shoes and the sticky sugar of liquor. Your shoes peel from it as you walk. God, what would your parents think of you being here?

You peek around corners and eye big groups. He’s not in the kitchen when you look there, either. Your stomach feels sick in a knowing way—a gut feeling that doesn’t justify anger or tears just yet, but you know. Right in the center of your chest, you know.

It’s in some room that you find him. Sat on the floor along with a few faces you don’t know, he pulls from his bottle. And on his shoulder, he lets a girl with shining curls and pink cheeks rest her head. At your busting in on the intimate gathering, Yeonjun’s eyes slide to you. Recognition flashes over them and wars with bleary drunkenness.

“Hey, baby,” he says. Their gazes all fall on you, but you can hardly see them through blurry eyes.

The girl lifts her head from his shoulder. She’d caught the memo.

“I think I’m gonna go.” You make it sound resigned, try to not let them see your shame, but your voice betrays you and crackles. Maybe it’s better to pretend it doesn’t feel like you’ve just been kicked in the stomach and left to reel against the force, but you can’t. You’re nowhere near shocked, nowhere near blindsided, but still you hurt.

He follows you down the hall. “What’s your problem?” he says, the few, plain words mending and waving into a slurring.

You’ve got one goal: get to the front door, away from the shitty music and him. His words, sharpened, fall off your skin despite his efforts. What good would fighting do you, anyway? It was always going to end up this way. This is just who he is, and he doesn’t give two shits enough about you to want to change that.

“Baby, seriously? That made you this mad? I didn’t even fucking do anything. Stop being insecure,” he says. At the gritting of your teeth, he sees an opportunity and pounces on it. “You don’t need to be jealous. I don’t do jealous shit. We can dance, or something. Shit, I don’t know what you want! Just stop throwing a fit.”

Didn’t do anything? You have to laugh. Maybe you didn’t walk in on him fucking someone else, but that’s not what this is about. Not even a little bit. You’ve checked out, and the fact that he thinks he can make you believe that it’s your fault this time only drives the killing stake in harder.

Maybe you’re bitter. It claws at your insides—turns your face hot and screams in your face that you’ve been used. But beside it sits a sadness. Not the slow kind, but the quick sadness of hurt. Why hadn’t you been good enough for him to love you? To like you? You’d left behind Kai and rested your new life on Yeonjun’s shoulders. You’d wanted so badly for his approval, or for him to want you. You did your best to try and make this work out because you needed it to. You needed so desperately proof that you could fall in love with somebody else. But your best was not what Yeonjun was interested in.

Pins and needles prick your skin as you step outside, like jumping into an ice bath. It shocks you out of dizziness. Words surge up and out in a flash flood like hard reality. You spin on him. “Jealous?” you say, choking out a scathing laugh. “The last thing I’d ever let myself suffer over you is jealousy. Get over yourself. I’m going, stay here if you want. I don’t care.”

“How are you gonna do that, huh?” he says. The flickering yellow of the porchlight paints his features. The shadow of something fluttering around it cuts dark spots in the light, and then a small little moth comes down and jumps around in his face. He waves it off. “Gonna have bitch boy come pick you up? You can’t leech off him forever; he’s gonna get sick of picking up another man’s girlfriend.” It seems like you walking in on that had sobered him up, but his breath still curls out onto your face with the reek of alcohol. “It’s not a big deal. You’re making this a bigger deal than it has to be. Do you not trust me?”

“You are such a piece of shit,” you grit out. “I don’t know what I was thinking. Ever. I don’t know how I let this go on for so long.” You don’t like him having Kai in his mouth, don’t like him trying to act like you’re conflating things, and especially don’t like that face he’s making. As if you’re acting crazy and overblown. “No, I don’t trust you. You didn’t fuck her, but come on, Yeonjun. Seriously? You think I’m stupid, and I’m sick of it. You thought this would be easy because I didn’t have the experience you have, but I’m sorry. I don’t like being walked over.”

“If you’re gonna be so goddamn jealous, then maybe we aren’t gonna work,” he says.

That moth, floating light in the air, is right back in his face. Yeonjun takes two hands and smashes it between a clap of his hands. He shakes its flattened, broken body off his hand. Looking down at it laying there on top of dirt-caked concrete, you get this... feeling. A tickling around your person.

“See if I care,” you snap, throat aching against the onslaught of emotion and held back tears.

Rivulets of raindrops dilute the tears on your cheeks. Your hair plasters to your face and your clothes to your body.

For a week, you’d went about it all as if it hadn’t happened. And then you came here.

It’d not been this rainy when you first got down to the creek—just a gentle trickle, really. You hadn’t been crying then, either. But, watching the water work at babbling over stone, you let yourself feel it. Here, where you’d had so many good memories. You’ve gone and tainted it, now. But for whatever reason, you’d just wanted to be here. Arms curled around yourself and fingers digging into drenched sleeves, you don’t wipe away the tears or cover the sounds of your crying. You let the stream hear it; it’ll sweep it right up and down the way. Somewhere far off, where you don’t have to feel it anymore.

You realize that, usually, you’d be over at Kai’s right now. The fact that his room was not the first place you thought you could go to anymore is a punch to the gut. You drop your face into your hands and cry harder. Really, you’ve got to stop doing that to yourself. Thinking of sad things—putting your hurt under the microscope to see it closer. It’d be easier to just fold it up and tell yourself that it’ll pass, and that relationships end all the time.

It’s not him that you cry over. Well, maybe some of it is. Rather, it’s that you have absolutely no idea where you’re going. Where you are. Finally, you’d built yourself a raft to get off the shore and go out to sea, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, and it’s breaking apart right beneath you. And, stranded and alone in the water, you’ve got no way to get back to shore to build yourself another raft. You’re stranded, and the scariest bit is that you’re doing it all alone. You weren’t supposed to do this alone. You two made promises back then.

You suppose that a promise is one of those things you were supposed to leave faith in back on shore.

The raindrops are heavy over you. The fall of it roars against the ground, a torrent downpour. It’s not coupled with whipping wind or flashes of lightning—just straight, still falling. It’s a somber feeling no different from the gnawing in your chest.

Like chimes, there’s a distant, gentle sound. Maybe water falling over creek rock, but it’s more like suggestion. A sweet sound that you shouldn’t even be able to hear over the rest of it, it’s as if it’s right in your ear. A whisper.

You fix your blurry eyes with a wet sleeve. Rain falls right back into its place, but you see it: a silvery, whimsy haze. And the moths. They jump and call you, this time. Their glow bounces off the rainy mist against the grey of night’s arrival. Then, all you can hear is the whispering. Where you stand frozen, your feet beg to move. To follow them.

So you do.

Their entourage of moondust trails them where they go, wrapping you up and weaving between raindrop and space. You don’t worry where they’ll take you, or even try to wrap your head around this happening again. You just follow, mind glossed over and entranced with how beautiful it is. When you’d seen them before, it’d made you uneasy. Mostly because it looked so unearthly and unbelievable. But this time you just follow.

A far-off voice, one oh-so-familiar, peaks through the haze. It’s not enough to stop you, but then you hear it again, louder and closer.

You blink a few times. Once to break away the fog, and then twice to focus your eyes on Kai stood in front of you. His hair lays in wet spikes over his eyes and beads of rain trace the planes of his face. He’s as soaked as you.

“Kai?” you say. Looking around you, you’ve ended up somewhere in the field between your houses and the creek. But you’ve got no recollection of walking here. Whatever that mist is, sentient or not, had swept you here.

His voice is strained, but you appreciate hearing it. “Break up with him,” he tells you.

In his eyes, as you search them, there’s stardust glowing like reflection. Your face twists up. “What?” you say, breath a puff of smoke ahead of you. Summer had come and gotten away from you so fast, and now it’s gone all cold again.

“Break up with him,” he echos, face solemn. He looks ruffled.

“Why?” you ask, “And why are you out here?”

“Because I’m moving out today, and I think I deserve to at least see you before I go.” His eyes look over you. “And... your dad said you went down to the creek.”

He’s moving out today, and you had no idea. And really, it’s your fault. You’d driven that wedge between the two of you. “I did break up with him.”

Downpour fills his quiet for a few moments, his face swirling with emotion like the clouds above you. He nods. “Good.”

There are a few more long minutes between you; just you two searching each other's faces, antsy to say so much that it bunches up in your chests and stalls. It’s what a summer of longing does to you. Even with Yeonjun, even trying to slowly chip away the stitching that had connected the two of you at the hip, you were helpless to stop the gnawing of the love you bear for him. Even just seeing him now, you feel those threads mending back up. God, why does it have to be so hard?

He just looks at you. For a few beats, he just looks at you. There are so many questions in his eyes. They flit across and turn over, but all he settles on is, “Why?”

There’s so much you want to tell him. Words pile up to the top, some threatening to spill over. But you know that if you tell him some of it, just to make up for all the time you’d missed out on together, it’ll all come crashing out. And you don’t think you want him to know just how much you accepted, the way you let yourself get treated. So, you shake your head and say, “It doesn’t matter.”

Kai looks like he wants to push that issue, but whatever look he finds on your face deters him. “Come with me,” he pleads. “I want you to come with me.”

Your throat tightens. Curling your arms around yourself harder, the rain only coming down on you harder, you say, “Kai, I want to. I want to. I just... I don’t want to freeload off you, because you’re doing great things, and I’m just...” Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, but they’re already as soaked as the rest of you. “I’m just going nowhere. And I don’t want to be a burden, or ever be the reason that you can’t do what you dream of. If staying here means that you become everything that you’re destined to do, then I’m happy with that, Kai. I am.”

He shakes his head, stumbling toward you. “No, no you don’t get it,” he says, frantically taking your shoulders into big hands. Under his touch, every taut muscle goes slack. You melt. “You don’t get it. You are the music. Every single song is about you. Every single fucking song is about you. I want you to come with me, please. I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you, and I thought you’d loved me too, and I don’t want to do this alone. I can’t do it alone.”

He loves you. Kai loves you. The enormity of it rumbles the ground where you stand on legs you fear might just give in. You flex your fingers to combat the tears pricking your eyes. It doesn’t work; they brim and well up, spilling down over your cheeks. “What?” you say, voice softly breaking. “Kai, I didn’t...”

“And just when I thought I finally had you, you left me,” he says, throwing a hand up beside him in a big gesture. “You left me! I woke up thinking you’d be there, and that maybe you loved me too, and you had left me. And then you threw me away for some piece of shit, and you stopped coming around.” His chest heaves for breaths.

Your face contorts. That night, the one where you two had slipped up, you’d fallen asleep curled up against his chest on undiluted contentment. When you woke up, you had panicked. You thought he’d wake up and pretend it hadn’t happened, or he’d be uncomfortable, or even be disgusted and regretting. You couldn’t handle that, so you slipped out before he woke up. It’d been an attempt to protect your tender heart, but looking at the twitching of his lip now, you begin to think it’s the most selfish thing you’ve ever done. He thinks you used him and left him. Your stomach twists. Voice thick, you say, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I left you, Kai. I thought you didn’t... I thought you didn’t see me that way. I was scared. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Brows knitted together, he says, “Thought I didn’t love you?” His hand cups your cheek, warm against the soft frozen skin he finds there. “I’ve... I’ve dreamed of you almost every night of my life. In my sleep, I see you, and you’re happy and glowing, and that damn... mist is all around you. I couldn’t get away from you even in my sleep.”

Darting between his eyes, soft and reflecting your face back to you, it’s hard to breathe. Kai’s dreamt of you; he’s as sickly in love with you as you are him. Thunder claps, and the ground shakes, and the heavens open up above you, the trumpets belt, and you two are in love. Somewhere deep in your center, you feel it—your soul nodding yes.

The mist. You know exactly what he’s talking about. “I saw it. That stuff, those moths. The stuff we saw back then.”

“I did too,” he says, wet spikes of hair bouncing with a nod. “Not that long ago. It was the first time I saw it out of a dream since that day.”

Back then, you two had only budding, innocent love for each other. Things hadn’t become mangled and lost to confused hearts or expectations. When they’d appeared to you, you hadn’t needed it. This time, you’d followed it. And it had led you here—somehow had led you right to the very spot you needed to so that every last piece might fall into place. For this moment to happen. You know why it did.

“I’ll go with you, Kai. I’ll go wherever you go; I love you. I’ve loved you since forever,” you say, each and every word massive and lovely on your tongue. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier.”

So unlike the last times your mouth had met, he brings his mouth to yours with a dazzling clarity. No longer is it confused kisses; he locks his lips against yours with the urgency of so many years being unable to. Kai’s hands cradle your wet cheeks, hold you so tenderly into his kiss. His touch grounds you, makes the moment real. You melt into him—your fingers curled into his shirt as if holding him there so that he won’t disappear like something of an incorporeal dream. He sighs through his nose, kissing you harder. Even if it all were fake and this was nothing more than a feverish figment of your imagination, you think you could die happy just knowing this once.

But it is utterly real, and utterly yours. You kiss him harder, too.

When your lungs start to burn and plead for breath, you two pull away from each other. Your eyes flutter open to capture his. Warm and brown and the same ones you’ve stared into so many times before, but not like this, you sink into them. He runs his thumb over your cheek as he sinks into yours. His tongue darts out to lick lips painted with you. In the inches between you, space no longer feels heavy or charged with grievances. Every last unsaid thing had been answered.

“I have my stuff up in the truck,” he says, breaths soft. Brown eyes dart around your face. “I’ll help you add your stuff to it.”

You shudder out a breath. Add your stuff to it. A nervous energy settles down over you, but it doesn’t seem so bad if you’re doing it with him. Together.

“Okay,” you whisper, a balmy secret just like the ones you used to share in small, giggly voices so many years ago. “Okay.”

Shivers seize you like jittering bones, all wrapped up in a blanket. The velour cushion seats beneath you have soaked up water and become damp, but Kai’s got the heater blasting. You wind around back roads, headlights illuminating the way ahead of you. Stray droplets whip in them, but nothing much. Isn’t it funny how the rain had just stopped like that? That’s just how the weather is, out here. You wonder how the weather might act wherever you’re headed.

Your teeth chatter as if your jaw had its own will. The two of you had the windows down thinking that the wind might dry you off, but all it’s done is lap at your bitten cheeks. You reach down for the handle to crank it up. You’ve got a long drive ahead of you—either you’ll eventually dry off, or you can pull off at a rest area to change in a bathroom. The wet clothes are really not helping.

With an arm up on the steering wheel, Kai turns his attention on you. You know that smile. “Cold?” he asks, eyes darting between your face and the road. With the hand he’s not got working the steering wheel, he runs fingers over your thigh. Soft, gentle massages, yes. The number it does on your core is absurd. Each mindless digging into your thighs and brush of his thumb, sparks sputter there. You’ve sat here, right in his passenger seat, so many times before. Day trips up to the lake, the one he’d joined your family camping at for so many summers, all the times he’d driven you to school in this truck, and even just a quick run down to a convenience store for a late-night snack. You’d deemed it your seat. But never once had you sat in it like this. Your heart does a flip. All those times you’d wish he’d reach over and do just this—a small gesture that would’ve been so big then. And it’s your reality, now.

“Freezing,” you say. A brush of his fingers nearer the apex of your thighs sends you pressing them together and shifting in your seat. “But not everybody runs as hot as you, though, so.”

His eyes catch the movement in just the split second he looked over to you. “Huh,” he says. He turns to look at you, his gaze flickering with something anew. Something that you’d only ever seen once before. “Is that it?”

It’s hard to swallow. His fingers brush higher, and higher, feather-dustings of calloused fingertips that sends tingles shooting up your spine at the slightest suggestion of where he’s headed. “Yes,” you say, feigning indignance to cover the shiver that threatens to overtake you. When his fingertips dance at the waistband of your bottoms, it does so anyway. “Kai,” you say, blood hot in your veins. “You’re...driving.”

His eyebrows pinch into a taunting furrow. “I am,” he says, nodding. “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’ve got us.”

And he does; fingers slipping under the band of both your bottoms and your panties, he doesn’t even tear his eyes off the road. He’d driven these roads so much, you think he might be able to do it asleep. Even drawing a mewl from you with a brush over your clit, he doesn’t look away more than a quick glimpse at your pinkened cheeks.

Two fingers dragging up your folds, right over the source of the mess. “You get excited so easily, huh?” he hums. “You like it when I play with you.”

When he presses those fingers at your entrance, you can’t help but be taken back to that night. It echoes and reverberates through you. Long fingers, strong and punctual brushes against the sweet spot—he was criminally good with his fingers. Playing guitar did more for him than just music. He seemed to know exactly how to utilize those roughened fingers and trained flicks. Your muscles flicker as he abandons your hole for more brushes at your bud.

Those teasing, sly touches turn to something more serious. His fingers roll over your clit, slow but enough to have you sighing and rolling your hips against the seat belt. But last time had gone just like this, him touching you and receiving nothing. He should feel good, too. “Shouldn’t you pull over?” you sigh, muscles taut. Your breaths come out shuddering and half-controlled, interrupted by the tightness that each delicious swirl provokes. The door takes the brunt of your grip, white-knuckling the interior.

He laughs, a husky sound that is tinder to fire. He knows what you mean. “Maybe,” he says. “But I think I’m enjoying this plenty. I think I want to see you cum on my fingers again.”

Fingers pinching and flicking faster, you grow breathy and whiny, hips rolling against the seatbelt and back into the seat. Your muscles, all the way down your thighs and deep in your belly, jump and twitch each time his fingers run over your clit in just the right spot—that tender spot that’s so good that it teeters on overwhelming. The kind that makes you hiss and then want more. “Shit, Kai,” you whine. “Right—there, keep going."

He doesn’t answer with any teasing words. No, he just doubles down right at that angle and pressure, leaned back into his seat and driving as if he wasn’t fingers-deep in your panties right now. His sculpted profile at total ease—it does something for you. A delicious tightness curls its fingers over your center, promising a sugary ecstasy that you can’t help but chase. Bucking into his hands as best you can, you go quiet. Right there—right there, you feel it. The cusp. Your fingers brush over it, clenching around nothing and squeezing your thighs tight around him. Every last drop of blood in your body reaches for it, singing and dancing through your veins and making you dizzy.

And then he stops. Your mouth drops open, whiplashed and helpless to its slipping away from you. You whittle your gaze into something sharp and turn to him. “What—why?” you complain. The tide slips further and further and further back, but you still taste sea salt on your tongue. Frustration sets in its place as you feel it go. Seriously, you’d been right there. “You’re so mean.”

He slows and then with the clicking of the turn signal, he’s off the road and pulling the truck into park on a little secluded side road. Where the headlights pierce the pitch black, nothing but gravel and field surrounds you. He doesn’t kill the engine, instead pulling his hand free from you.

Your heart, still stuttering with your lost orgasm, kicks back to life as he smears your slick over your mouth, dragging it over your lips and then taking his thumb to run it right over the plush of your mouth. “Am I?” he says, fingers taking your chin to meet your eyes with his. Endless hunger, pupils so blown that his eyes look black, pins you. “I don’t think you’ve seen mean yet, baby.”

Darting your tongue out to clean your lips, you look at him through your eyelashes. “Show it to me, then.”

Something dark passes over his face. It has your skeleton jumping out of your body. Then, he says, “Is that what you want? You want mean?”

Brain gone to mush that can only really think about him touching you, a slow nod is all you can manage.

The engine’s hum prevails for some long, thick seconds. And then, he tilts his head in a gesture. “Get in the back.”

Holy shit. You want to sit there frozen in an overwhelming sort of excitement, but his seatbelt clicks undone and you’re set into motion. In a flurry of giggles and clumsy limbs, you climb up over the center console and into the backseat. He slips out of the front seat, not bothering to even kill the engine.

The door beside you opens in a swirl of cold wind. In nothing more than a blink, a strong hand has both your wrists pinned to the cushions and your back flush against it. Nose-to-nose, his breath hot over your face. “I’ve got plenty of ideas as to how I can warm you up.”

You appreciate each other’s faces for a beat more, you looking up at him big-eyed and waiting. Kai breaks the moment to attack your neck in a procession of bites and kisses. Your mouth falls into a silent sound.

“You know,” he says, free hand working your pants off. His eyes are trained on you, though. “I thought about doing this to you all summer. Touching you again.” He moves on to your top, pushing the fabric up until your chest is freed, clad in soft cotton. He eats the sight up. You want to reach down and cup the back of his head or feel his hair between your fingers as he presses his mouth against the soft beginning of your cleavage, but he’s got your wrists firmly planted. So much so, that you wonder exactly how he’s got you so secure with just one hand. Kai is strong, but maybe you hadn’t seen just how strong. Your skin aches under the purple bites he decorates you in. The sight of him—face in your chest and marking you up so lazily—has your teeth abusing your bottom lip. Whatever sounds you might make otherwise would be embarrassing. Kai lifts his eyes to you. “And I think you thought of me, too. Didn’t you?”

“Oh, god, yes,” you say, writhing beneath him. He’s going so slow. You want him all over you. “So much.”

He likes that. He takes your pebbled nipple into his mouth through the fabric. Soft grazes of teeth and sucks, you’re burning all over. When he pulls back, he’s left you dark wet patches when the bra had only just dried against your body heat. “Good,” he rasps, taking his big hands demanding and hungry over your torso. They swallow your frame up, soothing skin but lighting it aflame all the same. “Good girl.”

You never thought just words could unravel you, but those did the job. Not a gasp, nor a sucking in of breath—no, you go silent and brainless, fumbling for rational thought.

The dropping of your jaw has Kai delighted. “You’re so pretty,” he says. In a swift and powerful hoist, he’s tugging you down the cushions toward him with greedy fingers. He’s got your thighs pressed up to your chest. You’re bent right in half.

Out of breath, you huff out, “You too.”

A quick laugh falls from his mouth, lips pulled into a smug tilt. He nips at your calf up by his face. “So sweet, it almost makes me feel bad for what I’m about to do to you.” Reaching down for your panties, he pulls back on the suffocating press for only enough time to drag them up your legs. Those get discarded somewhere on the floor. Who cares about that right now, though? All you can register is the metallic clinking of his belt being undone. It’s got your nervous system twisting up.

And, those words. Electricity shoots bolts of pure, sizzling revery into your core. What I’m about to do to you. You imagine a great deal of things that he might mean, but still, you think that none could hold a candle against the promise his voice held in saying it.

Kai presses his body to your thighs and hooks your calves over his shoulders, and it all becomes real. The press of his heavy cock to your folds, the digging of his fingers into your outer thighs, his pretty eyes sparkling with something feral. As real as it gets—more real than anything you’ve ever felt in the entirety of your life. Your hands find perch flattened to his broad chest.

The position leaving you two no option but to look right into each other, he holds your gaze and begins slow drags of his hot length up and down your slit. Tantalizing, awful, awful drags. When his tip nudges your eager clit, you jolt. And then he does it again. And again.

“Kai,” you mewl. A press against your hole has you hopeful, and he lingers there for a moment, but doesn’t give it to you. Can’t he just fuck you? You’ve never been more pitifully in need of something in your life.

“Shh.” His ruts get more daring, smearing your slick up onto your belly. “Take it.”

You wiggle your toes in the air and make passes at arching yourself into him in search of better friction. He’s got you pressed so suffocatingly into the seat that it does absolutely nothing for you. In fact, he holds your harder and changes tack so that your thighs press together. At the very apex of them, his weeping cock slips through the seam.

Pressing his cheek into your calf, he watches you. Every gasp and shaky inhale, he watches. It spurs his rutting on, sticky sounds and pants eating up the air. Your nails claw at his hands as, finally, a knot tightens in your core.

“Yes, please,” you breathe. He fucks your thighs harder. Faster. Every nudge at your clit and hole becomes euphoric. “Kai, baby—I’m gonna—”

Just as furiously easy as last time, he rips it all away from you. The rushing away of the buzzing and promise of shaking thighs—he takes it from you again. It brings prickling tears to your eyes. “Kai?” you hiss. “Again?”

His eyes aren’t playful. He pulls your calves back over his shoulders, handling your hips into a better position to press his cock right at your entrance as if you weigh nothing. Face utterly straight, he says, “I don’t think you deserve it, do you? Not after what you did with Yeonjun.”

A swallow goes down your throat hard. He presses himself just a bit harder into you. Not in yet, but right there.

When he does begin sliding in, the stretch of it... You cling to him and squirm between him and the warm cushions behind you. Each inch is a heady feeling, all the way up to the hilt of him. He shudders a controlled breath. “You’re so fucking tight, though,” he grits out. “Did he not fuck you right?”

Slaps of skin bounce off the car interior and between your bodies. He starts off at a brutal pace; you know it’s meant to make your brain go foggy. Squeezing your eyes closed, you manage, “I... didn’t fuck him.” It comes out strangled, voice bouncing as he fucks you into the car seat.

Thumb tugging your bottom lip down and then dipping into your mouth, he watches the show of your ecstasy down to every last detail. “Yeah?” he says, voice shaking and almost desperate. “Always thinking of me, huh? Such a good little princess. You know exactly where your heart belongs.”

You want to answer him, even just with a whine or moan. You try to. But with his thumb pressing down on your tongue, enough to pin it to the floor of your mouth, it’s not gonna happen. He tastes salty in your mouth.

His truck consists of his grunts and whines, and your taut groans for some moments that seem to stretch forever. The planes of his groin grind against your clit when he delivers occasional pointed rolls, but mostly it’s just an animalistic, feverish dancing of your two sweaty bodies, holds growing more frantic the closer you get.

Thumb wet with saliva; he frees your mouth. The hand trails slowly down your face and your chin, brushing feather touches, until he finds your neck.

Your eyes fly open, wide. He pressed his fingers into your neck—no real pressure yet, he looks at you through damp strands of dangling hair and says, “Want my fingers around your neck?” His thumb brushes over the buzzing pulse point there.

“Yes,” you grit out, body bouncing and back raw with friction against the coarse cushion’s surface. Your breath stutters, your mind stutters. Even your blinks stutter, eyelids too lazy to keep up. “Please.”

The pressure of his fingers there—it frightens you and has you tightening around him at the same time. But you would trust nobody more with your life than Kai.

He presses his cheek to your calf to indulge in the sight of you like this: underneath him, folded in two, nowhere to go but to take his pistoning hips, cheeks blazing, and his fingers pressed into your windpipe. If the way he becomes sloppier and more desperate in his tempo has anything to say for it, it does something for him.

“Gonna be my pretty little girlfriend, huh?” he says. His voice is tight—so is your belly. You’re both so close. Hopefully, this time he’ll let you cum. “Take you to every show; show you off to everybody. Fuck.”

Brain like static and swimming with a pinched flow of oxygen, you slur your words. “You’re—hah—gonna have other girls all over you.”

The taunting, split-second raise of his brows flips your belly. You tighten around him again. If he keeps hitting that spot, tip ramming into the soft spot deep inside you that he’d taken such delicate care of finding last time, you’re going to burst into sparkling flame and firework. He growls, “Well, I’ll just have to knock you up so that they know I’m yours, huh?”

Holy shit. You like the sound of that. Your nails dig into his wrist around your neck, but you cry out a pitchy, “Yes!”

“Oh, you like that?” Kai releases your throat to take both your hips. You gulp for air, finding nothing but the thick air of sex and humid breaths, at the opportunity. He’s ramming into you like he’s found a purpose. “Isn’t this the perfect position to do it? Get you pregnant?”

With every last bit of brain power you’ve got, teetering on the edge excruciatingly close to salvation, you groan a long, hoarse sound. “Fuck, yes! Please, Kai, inside—” A hot trail of tears roll down your temples.

It’s all he’s got to hear to still inside you. His growl rumbles deep in his chest, holding you in place and filling you with his hot cum deep in your cunt. That feeling, coupled with his short grinds against your clit as he fucks his seed deeper, takes your soul by sinful claws and crumbles it down into nothing. You burst into a shaking, whimpering peak, sucking your lips into your mouth to bare through the sheer twisting of your insides and the flame that consumes up your thighs and cunt.

He falls on you heavy, face in your neck. Warm kisses against your clammy skin meld with your slow floating down, the two of you a beautiful, nasty picture of fucked out. He stays right inside you—the absolute stillness of him, you think he has no plans of pulling out any time soon. His long fingers card through your sweaty locks of hair.

Finally, he presses himself off you. You get a glimpse of the window behind him—fogged up and filthy with your affairs. Anybody to see the truck from the outside would know exactly what went on inside, but right now, you don’t care. Not one bit. Your panted breaths drag in nothing but musk and thick, hot air. The drumbeat in your chest tells you that, despite how you feel ripped straight from your body, you are very much still alive. More alive than ever.

“Warm?” he says, pushing sticky hair off his forehead. He’s a mess, too. His hair is ruffled with your touch, his clothes rumpled the same, beads of sweat rolling down the planes of his cheeks and neck, and his eyes a lazy smolder. As much as he looks like sex personified, a soft smile twitches at his lips.

You snort. You can’t help but feel giddy, here with him. You’re with him. Nothing has ever felt more right. Unplugged when he pulls out of you, your mess trickles down onto the seat below you. “Yeah,” you say. “Very.”

Warm is not enough to begin to describe how you feel. In your ears, you hear whisperings. Soft and gentle. Perhaps it was divine intervention, or the fates lending you their word, or maybe just rational thought. It says:

Home. You are home.

ash ⦂ how do we feel about this pair? i really didn't mean for this to get so long, but i ended up RLLY liking their chemistry. i had to do their story justice. also, i finished this with kai as a guitarist and then his drummer performance came out... hmm.

﹙🏷️ ﹚@lvrs-street2mmorrow , @soohashits , @f4iryfever , @arcturus444 , @linqed , @serenityism00 , @immelissaaa , @luv4cheol , @lickingan0rchid , @20-cms , @hhoneylix , @beestvng , @hyucktapes , @bewitchless , @prince-jjae , @blankliving , @yaoizee , @stormy1408 , @missychief1404 , if your tag isn't working, check the mentions part of your settings!

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hyukalyptus · 2 years ago

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something nice — sub!fem!reader x dom!yeonjun x servicetop!kai

cw. reader is in an established (open) relationship with yeonjun, cucking? (kai eats reader's pussy while yj watches lol), cunnilingus ofc, nipple play, orgasm denial, edging, pet names (baby, jjun), begging, mention of "punishment" but nothing's ever done, yeonjun and kai talk about reader and what they're gonna do to her (without her understanding—everything is consensual in the beginning, but read note below), let me know if there's anything else. notes. IMPORTANT: ok so the tea with this one. the idea here is that the reader doesn't speak korean well and kai and yj are speaking korean to kinda talk about the reader and what they're gonna do to her so she doesn't understand. nothing aggressive, just describing what to do to her body so she's kinda surprised? SO!! anything in italics is in korean. thats important!! also idk how i feel about this???? smut under cut. wc. 1.5K

“Did she give you a reason or did she just break up with you?” You’re eavesdropping on Yeonjun and Kai—not that they’re being very secretive. They’re talking about a woman Kai’s been seeing while you play video games and attempt to translate in your head, but you're not being too successful, catching a few words here and there.

“She did say one thing,” Kai says hesitantly. “But it’s kinda embarrassing.”

“What is it?”

“Well,” he starts, scooting closer to Yeonjun to awkwardly whisper something to him, twiddling his thumbs, running his fingers through his hair.

“Oh,” Yeonjun chuckles. “That’s…man, if you get really good at that, you could date anyone.”

“What are you talking about?” You finally pause your game, curiosity getting the best of you. Looking up, Kai looks like you caught him stealing cookies from a cookie jar while Yeonjun tries to hold back a chuckle. The three of you exchange looks until Yeonjun rolls his eyes to bluntly say—

“Eating women out.”

“Yeonjun—!” Kai says, shoving his arm.

“What?” He chuckles, returning the shove. “I eat her out all the time. She knows what it is. She knows you eat pussy too.”

“But that’s why that woman broke up with you?” You ask. “Because you…you're bad at eating pussy?” He blushes, averting his attention to the floor while he clasps his hands together, nodding shyly.

“Be honest, babe—am I good at eating you out?”

Looking between the two of them, you sit up and say, “Yeah, you’re probably the best I’ve had, but we’re super compatible, you know? We’re, like, super in love. That makes a big difference sometimes.”

Holding back a cocky smile, he asks, “But, objectively, I’m pretty good, right?” You shrug and nod—really, he probably is the best you’ve ever had, but that’s another story.

“What makes it good?” Kai asks.

Humming, you think before saying, “First, he doesn’t go straight for it.” Turning red and ears getting warm, you gush and— “Oh god, Kai, don’t look at me when I tell you this.”

“Ah, this is ridiculous,” Yeonjun exasperates. “Do you just wanna practice on her?” You both whip your heads in his direction. “If you’re comfortable with it, of course,” he says to you. “Just thought it might be helpful.”

Oh, how did you end up here? Laying in Yeonjun's bed, clenching your thighs together out of nervousness. “Remember, this is kinda specific to her. Pay attention to what whoever you’re with wants.” Kai nods, kneeling at the foot of the bed.

“She already said this—” Yeonjun says. “I don’t go straight for it. I kiss her first, then make my way down there.”

“You want him to kiss me?”

He shrugs and says, “If you’re alright with that.”

“If you are,” you say, looking Kai in the eyes. Both of them can’t help but notice the confidence you seem to be exuding, especially compared to Kai. Trembling fingers reaching for your cheek, he looks at you for permission one final time. Finally leaning in, his lips press to yours.

You’d forgotten what it was like to have a first kiss with someone. Kai’s kisses are different from Yeonjun’s. Kai’s are much more cautious, more careful—not necessarily shy, but careful. It quickly turns hot and heavy. But you remember Yeonjun is watching you, suddenly overtaken with bashfulness, you break the kiss to glance over at him.

Him and that sinister smile.

Turning back to Kai, you crash into his lips again, humming into his mouth and smirking to rub how much you're enjoying this in Yeonjun's face.

“Touch her,” Yeonjun says. “Kinda slowly, but then a little more intense.” Kai does as he’s told, his hand dragging up your hip to squeeze your tits. “Under her shirt.”

His hand on the outside of your bra feels new and exciting. Reaching around your back to unhook it, you break the kiss to take your shirt off, pulling at the hem of his.

“Slow down for a second,” Yeonjun chuckles and Kai listens, placing gentle kisses to your collarbone. “Lick her nipples.” Swirling his tongue around your nipple, you gasp, reaching for his hair. “Pay attention to which one she likes better.”

Kai tests both, slyly licking between the two. After testing the waters, he picks correctly. You chuckle thinking about Yeonjun sitting on a chair across the room, smirking in approval. You could look for yourself, but you can’t bring yourself to open your eyes.

“Keep licking her until her hips roll.” This is a bit crazy, isn’t it? The guy you love telling another man how to fuck you the way you like. “Not yet.” Yeonjun switches to Korean, making you roll your eyes. If you didn’t have the energy to translate in your head earlier, you definitely can’t focus enough to translate now.

Lips trailing down your body, he tugs at your shorts, but keeps your cute pink panties on. Yeonjun talks him through every move—to lick his thumb and rub your nipple, to press his nose to the outside of your panties, to skate his lips across your inner thighs.

Your hips roll uncontrollably, practically begging him to taste you.

“Kai—” You whisper, your body instantly burning at the sound of the both of them chuckling. Pulling your panties down and off your legs, he throws them to Yeonjun who happily wads them up to sniff them and smell how delicious you are.

Licking his thumb again, he keeps rubbing circles over your nipple as he finally licks your clit, your back arching as soon as he touches it.

“Fuck—” You say breathlessly, looking down at him as his eyes sparkle up at you, your head dropping to your pillow with a thud. “Who the fuck is this bitch that says you’re bad at this?” He shakes his head, digging deeper into your pussy.

Smiling cockily, you look over at Yeonjun, trying to control his breathing. He can’t help it—the two of you are just too hot together. He's never been able to enjoy this kind of view before. Seeing how every part of your body reacts to being touched—it's an incredible view.

“Please tell me he’s allowed to make me cum, baby,” You beg.

“Of course,” he chuckles smugly. “If he can.” Kai’s eating you out like he’s absolutely starving. And it’s true—he can’t help it. You taste too fucking good.

Your eyes squeeze shut as you start squeaking, throwing your head back.

“Okay, that sound means she’s gonna cum soon. Try to bring her as close to the edge as possible and then stop.”

“Fuck, Kai,” you breathe. “Right there—yes.” You can’t believe how good he is at this, especially given the reason you're under his tongue right now. He’s supposed to be bad at this, right?

You’re so fucking close and he can feel it. “Don’t stop—” he brings you right there. And then he does it. He stops. “Agh, fuck you,” you groan. Looking down at him, his smirking at you, eyes flashing between you and Yeonjun.

He doesn’t waste too much time before getting back to your pussy, flicking his tongue over your clit.

“Take it away from her for a bit. Lick her nipples again.” He does just that. You’re aching, bucking your hips over and over, desperately trying to relieve some kind of tension. But his tongue does feel amazing on your tits. Threading your fingers through his hair, you tug at it hard. He groans, his mouth dropping open like you just unlocked a new kink of his.

Now he can’t take it anymore. Hips jutting forward, you feel the roughness of his sweatpants drag against your center, relieving some of that tension. You gasp, resorting to begging him to get back to licking you.

“No, don’t,” Yeonjun says sternly.

“But I want to,” Kai whines back, looking at your pussy hungrily, sticking the tip of his tongue out, giving his best begging eyes. But Yeonjun just shakes his head, satisfied with watching you uncontrollably rolling your hips up toward Kai’s mouth. Kai compromises, wrapping his hands around the backs of your thighs to yank you closer to him and presses his lips to the skin right around your clit, teasing you even more.

“Babe—” you breathe, begging Yeonjun with your eyes to let him continue licking you.

“I know, baby, I know…” he responds, his voice low and rough. He finally lets him lick you again. But he doesn’t show much mercy. He repeats the same tactic over and over—having him bring you right to the edge, even to the point of tears, then he stops right in his tracks.

"I'm gonna tell you to stop, but I want you to keep going, okay?" Kai nods, agreeing to his instructions. Bringing you to the edge again, you're begging for mercy, begging to cum. "Don't let her cum, Kai," he says, making tears form in your eyes. "Stop—"

And he does.

"I told you to let her cum that time."

"Sorry," he smiles up at him, licking his lips. "It's so fun to see her beg like that though." Tilting his head toward you, he says, "Look at her...she's got tears in her eyes. Isn't that the hottest fucking thing you've ever seen?"

"It's okay, baby," he says, fingers flowing through your hair while Kai's mouth finds your clit again. You're moaning, gasping for air, swearing, screaming, anything to try to find a release. "Not yet. Don't let her fucking cum, Kai." You don't think you can handle this much longer. Edging is nice, yes, but this? This is bordering torture.

"Please, please, please, Jjun..." you trail off. "Just please let me cum. I can't take it anymore."

"I know you can take it, baby. Fucking taking it so well..."

It's building again. That knot in your stomach that gets tighter and tighter with every second. That white hot fire in the pit of your stomach waiting to explode.

"Don't stop, Kai," you blurt. "I'm gonna cum—" Slamming your palm over your mouth—you shouldn't have said that. He's gonna make you regret saying that.

"Don't let her cum," he orders.

But his grip gets tighter. His tongue licks furiouser. His face digs deeper. You're so fucking close. Closer than you've ever been tonight.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Kai..." your orgasms crashes over you like a bolt of lightning. "Yes, fuck yes, that feels so fucking good." You feel like you're having an out of body experience. It's one of the best fucking orgasms of your life. "Don't stop, right there." You chest heaves with heavy breaths.

Coming down from one of the best orgasms of your life, your vision clears up and all you keep thinking is how much Yeonjun's gonna make you pay for this. You came without his permission—what's he gonna do now? Everything flashes across your mind: not letting you cum for a week, spanking you until your ass had his hand print on it, tying you up for hours, you're not sure.

But he doesn't do any of that. His hand caresses your cheek as he smiles down at you, "Did that feel good, baby?"

Confused, you nod, "Mhmm." You're still nervous, looking around at everyone's reactions. Kai's smirking while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Bad at eating pussy my ass," you say, shoving his shoulder with your foot.

"Ah, I knew you a had a little crush on him...I've seen how you look at him." Your face turns beet red. He's noticed that? Oh god... "I just wanted to do something nice for my baby."

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blue-jisungs · 8 months ago

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texts with bf!kai

# author’s note … let’s ignore the fact that it took me A G E S i just didn’t have any ideas :( AND LMFAOOSOOSOSSO SORRY FOR THW LAST ONE 😭😭😭😭 can u tell i have a younger brother 😍😍😍

beom tae jun soob versions

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @mirxzii ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,,

@nicholasluvbot ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @mon2sunjinsuver ,, @ocean-minho ,,

@eternalgyu ,, @haecien ,, @nonononranghaee

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gyu-tori · 3 months ago

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Letters of Yesterday | H.K

Pairing: cursed writer!hueningkai x fem artist!reader Genre: Angst, Slow-Burn, Bittersweet Ending

Summary: When love is as fragile as memory, Kai is cursed to forget everything—and everyone—he loves. No matter how deeply he feels, the magic erases him, leaving only blank pages where once there were memories. But Y/N refuses to give up, even when every day brings a new heartbreak. As she clings to the fleeting moments of their time together, she fights to keep their love alive, knowing that each day could be the last he remembers her.

In a cycle of forgotten smiles and vanished kisses, can love survive when memories are fleeting? Or will the price of holding on to Kai’s love be more than she can bear?

Word count: 9.1k

The curse had always been a part of Kai’s life, a shadow that loomed over him from the moment he understood the world. It was a dark family secret passed down from generation to generation—an affliction that claimed the memories of anyone he loved, but left the pain of their loss behind. His parents, distant and silent about it, had taught him to avoid forming attachments, to guard his heart. But the curse, no matter how much he tried to outrun it, was an inevitable fate. And in his heart, a part of him knew that one day, it would claim everything.

He was just a child when they told him. He remembered it vividly, his father’s voice trembling as he sat on the edge of Kai’s bed, explaining in hushed tones.

“Son, you have to understand… no one can escape this. It’s in our blood.”

Kai hadn’t understood at first, his childish mind unable to grasp the magnitude of what was being said. But as he grew older, the truth settled in like a weight on his chest.

The curse meant that Kai would forget everyone he loved. Every connection, every person who mattered would fade from his mind, erased as if they had never been there at all. And it wasn’t just the people who would disappear. Every feeling tied to them—the warmth of their smile, the sound of their laugh, the little things that made them irreplaceable—those would vanish too. The pain of losing them would remain, but the memories would slip through his fingers like sand, each loss more unbearable than the last.

It was a curse meant to keep him alone. And the more he thought about it, the more he understood how cruel it was. It stole memories, leaving only an ache. It was a life half-lived, a love half-loved.

But Kai couldn’t accept it.

From the moment he understood what the curse meant for him, Kai made a vow to himself. If he couldn’t hold on to the people he loved, then he would at least hold on to the memory of them. He would keep their faces alive in his mind, even if the details would fade. He would write them down, store them away like precious treasures.

He found an old wooden box one day, buried deep in the attic, and from then on, it became his ritual. Every time someone new entered his life, every time he felt his heart begin to open, Kai would write them a letter. Not just any letter, but one filled with the things he loved most about them—the way their voice sounded, the warmth of their touch, the way they made him feel safe and understood. He wrote down the moments that mattered most, as if they were the last ones he would ever have.

The box became his sanctuary, the one place where his memories could live on, even when his mind betrayed him. No one could open it but him. It was a fragile system, but it was all he had. The curse would take everything else. But the letters—those letters were his resistance.

And yet, as he sat there, writing another letter one evening, the weight of the curse pressed down on him harder than ever. The curse wasn’t just something that hovered on the horizon. It was here, now, in every moment. Every smile, every touch, every laugh, every tear. Kai knew that one day, all of it would fade away. He would forget. And the thought of it hurt more than he could bear.

It was a rainy afternoon when Kai first saw you. The kind of day that blurred the edges of the world, making everything feel like a memory that was already slipping away. You were sitting at the corner of a small café, your sketchbook open in front of you, completely absorbed in your art. The soft glow from the lamps above illuminated your figure, its warm and golden light a stark contrast to the dull and gray world around you.

Kai had never been a fan of crowded places, but on this particular day, he had no choice but to seek refuge inside. His footsteps echoed in the quiet café as he entered, shaking off the rain that clung to his coat. His gaze, as if pulled by a magnetic force, drifted to you.

You didn’t notice him at first, too focused on your drawing. Kai wasn’t sure what exactly it was that drew him in—the way your brow furrowed in concentration, the way your lips parted slightly as you hummed a soft tune to yourself, or the faintest trace of something wistful in your eyes when you paused to stare out the window.

But there was something. Something that made him pause, make a slow approach to the counter, his heart inexplicably racing.

The barista handed him his coffee with a polite smile, and Kai turned back to look at you. This time, you caught him staring.

“Can I help you with something?” you asked, tilting your head slightly, your eyes locking with his.

For a moment, Kai forgot how to breathe. He wasn’t used to this—being caught, being seen in such an open way. His eyes flickered downward, and he mumbled something about the weather before retreating to the farthest corner of the café, leaving you with a small smile on your face.

You didn’t press him, but something about his presence lingered in the air, as if he carried an invisible weight that tugged at your curiosity. Throughout the next few hours, as the rain continued to pour and the café filled with the soft hum of conversations and clinking mugs, you noticed him again and again—sitting, always with his notebook in front of him but never really writing, always distracted by something. You had no idea why, but there was an undeniable sadness about him, something hidden in the way his gaze would occasionally drift to your direction, only to quickly retreat when you looked back.

When you stood to leave, gathering your things and preparing to step out into the rain once more, Kai stood up too. It was impulsive, but something inside him urged him to speak.

“You... you’re an artist, aren’t you?” The words felt clumsy as they left his mouth. He winced inwardly, wondering why he was even talking to you. It wasn’t as if he could afford to form attachments, not with the curse always hanging over his head.

You smiled, a small, knowing smile that hinted at a playful kind of mystery. “Yes. And you?”

Kai hesitated, feeling the weight of his own silence, the years of solitude pressing down on him. But there was something about you—something about the way you didn’t look at him with pity or indifference. You simply saw him, in a way that few people ever had.

“I... write,” he replied. It was the simplest way to put it, though it felt like an understatement. His notebooks, filled with letters to himself, weren’t just a hobby—they were a lifeline.

You nodded, clearly intrigued. “What do you write about?”

The question caught him off guard. No one had ever asked him about his writing before, not in such an open, genuine way. He shifted uncomfortably. He couldn’t tell you the truth. The letters weren’t meant to be shared. They were his secret, his private attempt to defy the curse that was slowly erasing him.

But still, something about you made him want to open up, to share.

“I... write about memories,” he said after a moment, his voice quieter now. “About the things I want to remember. Even if I can’t.”

Your expression softened. “That sounds beautiful. I think everyone should write about the things they want to hold on to.”

Kai blinked, unsure of what to say. The words you spoke felt like a rare gift, a balm to a wound he hadn’t known how to address. He gave a small nod, more to himself than to you, before pushing open the door and stepping into the rain.

He never expected that brief encounter to change anything, but as he walked away, something shifted. The world felt just a little brighter, despite the persistent drizzle, and Kai found himself thinking about you in a way that felt... strange. The feeling was unfamiliar, like a forgotten dream drifting back to the surface.

And he knew, deep down, that he would see you again. That somehow, this brief moment had already begun to matter.

As the days passed, Kai found himself returning to that café more often than he ever had before. Each time, his steps led him to the same corner where you sat, sketchbook open, lost in your art. And each time, he couldn’t help but watch, his heart inexplicably drawn to the way you moved—so effortlessly, so naturally, as if you existed in a world of your own making.

It became a routine: the café, your art, and the growing, unspoken connection between the two of you. You never asked more of him than he was willing to give, and that was both a relief and a burden. He found solace in your presence, even if his mind never stopped warning him that it would all be fleeting, that he would forget you, just as he had forgotten so many others before.

One afternoon, after weeks of these quiet meetings, you sat down beside him with a cup of tea, your sketchbook resting on your lap.

“You’re always writing,” you remarked, your voice light but curious. “What is it you write about? You never share.”

Kai looked up, surprised by your bluntness, yet comforted by the familiarity of it. The way you spoke to him didn’t feel like an interrogation. It felt like an invitation, like you truly wanted to understand him.

“I write about people,” he said, his eyes flickering to the notebook in front of him. “People who matter. People I don’t want to forget.”

You raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Why wouldn’t you want to forget them? Seems like a burden, doesn’t it?”

Kai’s heart ached at the simplicity of your question, the innocence with which you asked. You couldn’t possibly understand the weight of what he was saying, the curse that hung over him like a specter.

“It’s... complicated,” he replied, his voice dropping to a whisper. “For me, it’s a way of holding on. Of not losing everything I love.”

You watched him for a long moment, then leaned forward slightly, your eyes filled with a quiet understanding. “You’re scared of forgetting, aren’t you?”

Kai’s breath caught in his throat. How did you—how could you—know?

“I’m not scared of forgetting,” he said, his voice shaking despite his best efforts to remain calm. “I’m scared of forgetting you.”

There. He had said it. The truth that had been sitting on the edge of his lips for so long. He knew the moment the words left his mouth that they were dangerous, but they felt so right—so necessary—that he couldn’t take them back.

You didn’t say anything at first, and Kai immediately regretted it, feeling exposed, vulnerable in a way he hadn’t expected. But then you smiled softly, the warmth of it a balm to his frayed nerves.

“I’ll make sure you don’t forget me,” you said, a hint of mischief dancing in your eyes. “How about that?”

Kai’s heart thudded painfully in his chest. How could you promise something like that? How could anyone promise something so impossible?

But instead of answering, he simply nodded. In that moment, there was no room for anything else but the aching hope that maybe—just maybe—you could break through the wall he’d built around his heart.

Weeks passed, and every time Kai saw you, he found himself writing more. Letters, poems, short descriptions—anything to capture the fleeting moments he shared with you. You were becoming his muse, the light in his otherwise bleak existence. Each word he wrote felt like an anchor, something to hold on to when the curse eventually came for him.

But then, one day, it happened. The first sign that the curse was beginning to take hold.

Kai had been sitting across from you at the café, a letter halfway finished, when he looked up and caught sight of the bracelet you were wearing. It was delicate, silver, with a small charm hanging from it that caught the light. A gift, he realized, but not from him.

“Where did you get that?” Kai asked, his voice sounding distant even to his own ears.

You looked down at your wrist, then back up at him with a gentle smile. “You gave it to me. Remember? For my birthday. We picked it out together.”

His heart stuttered, a sharp pain shooting through his chest. His hands trembled as he reached up, as if he could touch the memory itself, but it wasn’t there. The details were gone, wiped clean from his mind like they’d never existed.

“I... I don’t remember,” he whispered, his voice cracking.

You paused, and for a moment, everything seemed to freeze. The air was thick with unspoken words, and the reality of what was happening hit Kai with full force.

“I’m sorry,” he added, his voice barely audible, a lump forming in his throat. “I don’t remember giving it to you.”

You said nothing at first, just looked at him with a sadness and confusion that made Kai’s chest tighten painfully. But then, you reached over and took his hand gently in yours, the touch warm and grounding.

“It’s okay,” you said softly, squeezing his hand. “Everyone forgets things sometimes, it’s normal. Hell, I even forgot what I ate for breakfast yesterday.”

Kai wanted to believe you. He desperately wanted to believe you. But the fear gnawed at him from the inside out, the creeping sense that everything was slipping away, piece by piece. The curse was real, and no matter how hard he tried, it would take everything from him in the end.

You stood up, then, the movement fluid, graceful, almost as if you were trying to pull him out of the dark thoughts that threatened to consume him. “Let’s go buy a new bracelet,” you said, a soft, encouraging smile on your lips. “We’ll pick something even more special, I’ll get you a matching one too, then I bet you won’t forget about it.”

And despite the crushing weight in his chest, despite the growing sense of dread, Kai followed you. For the first time in a long while, he let himself hope. Even if it was fleeting. Even if the curse would one day steal this moment too, he would hold on to it for as long as he could.

The days following the incident with the bracelet were a whirlwind of confusion and emotions. Kai’s fears—those deep, gnawing fears about the curse—had started to consume him. The more he tried to push them down, the more they clawed at his insides, demanding attention, reminding him that no matter how much he wanted to keep you in his life, it would never last. Not for long.

And so, he began to pull away.

It started small—his messages became less frequent, the invitations to hang out became few and far between. Kai was careful, though. He didn’t want you to feel abandoned, didn’t want you to think he didn’t care. But deep down, he believed that pulling away was the only way to protect you. The curse would take him eventually, it always did, and if he let you get too close, you would be hurt. That was a certainty he couldn’t avoid.

You, however, weren’t so easily deterred.

After a week of silence, when you hadn’t seen him at the café or heard from him at all, you decided to confront him. You knew something was wrong, and no amount of pretending on his part could hide it from you.

When you showed up at his apartment that evening, he was sitting by the window, staring out at the city below, lost in thought. His face was shadowed, unreadable. The air between you was thick with the weight of unsaid words.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” you asked, your voice steady but full of concern. “I’ve been trying to reach you. You’ve been shutting me out.”

Kai didn’t look at you right away. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his fingers gripping the edge of the windowsill. He knew the moment you entered that room that you would ask him this question. He just didn’t know how to answer it.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he finally said, his voice quiet, barely audible. “I care about you too much to keep dragging you into this... into my mess.”

The words hit you like a physical blow, but you didn’t flinch. Instead, you walked over and sat beside him, refusing to back down. “I don’t care about your mess, Kai. I care about you.”

He let out a breath, frustration leaking through his voice. “You don’t understand. You can’t. The curse… it’s not something you can just fix.”

You tilted your head, refusing to let him push you away. “Then explain it to me,” you said softly. “What curse? What is it you’re so afraid of?”

For a long moment, Kai said nothing. His heart raced in his chest, torn between the overwhelming urge to push you away and the undeniable need to finally tell you everything. Slowly, his eyes met yours, filled with pain and regret.

“I… I forget people,” he whispered, the words seeming too heavy to speak. “The people I love… I forget them. Over and over again. Every time I get too close to someone, the curse takes them away from me. And it’s not just them I forget. It’s everything. Everything that ever mattered.”

You blinked in confusion, not fully understanding the weight of his words. “You forget them?”

“Not just memories,” he continued, his voice strained. “I forget who they are. I forget their faces. I forget their names. And when I do remember, it’s always too late. By then, they’re already gone.”

Your breath caught in your throat as you tried to process what he was saying. “That’s… that’s horrible,” you whispered. “But why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’ve been pushing me away, Kai. I deserve to know.”

“I didn’t want you to stay out of pity,” he said bitterly, his hands gripping the edge of the windowsill until his knuckles turned white. “I didn’t want you to feel like you had to fix me. I don’t want to be fixed. But I know that in the end, I’ll forget you. Just like everyone else.”

You reached out, taking his trembling hand into yours. “I’m not going anywhere,” you said firmly. “You don’t have to go through this alone. If there’s a way to break this curse, we’ll find it together.”

Kai looked up at you, tears welling in his eyes despite his attempts to hold them back. His heart ached, his mind screamed at him to push you away, but your words—your warmth—pulled him closer. For the first time in a long while, he felt something other than fear. It was a glimmer of hope.

You stayed with him that night, and the nights that followed. The two of you spent hours researching, diving into old books, talking to anyone who might have any knowledge of curses or memory loss. You scoured libraries, read through ancient texts, and even sought out experts, but time and again, you found nothing. The curse was a mystery, an enigma with no solution.

As the days passed, Kai’s fear only deepened. Every time he looked at you, every time he spoke to you, he was struck by the reality of what he might lose. But there you were, right beside him, holding his hand and refusing to let go. You wouldn’t leave him, not now.

It broke his heart to know that no matter how much he wanted to hold on to you, the curse would eventually take you from him. It was a truth he couldn’t escape.

Kai sat in the dim light of his apartment, the silence around him suffocating. The evening air was thick, carrying the scent of rain that had begun to fall outside. He hadn’t even realized how much time had passed, lost in his thoughts, paralyzed by the very thing he had been avoiding for months. His heart ached, not from the curse itself, but from the realization that the love he had for you was only going to be temporary.

It was as if his very existence had been rewritten to fade, just like his memories. The curse forced him to forget everyone he loved. Over and over again, he lost people, but the pain was always there, gnawing at him. Every time it happened, every time someone slipped through his fingers, the weight of that loss only grew heavier. He had been fine with it before. At least he thought he had been. After all, what choice did he have? But now… now that you were here, now that you were so important to him, the thought of losing you completely shattered him in ways he could never have imagined.

Kai stared down at the crumpled paper before him, the ink of his pen smeared slightly as his hands trembled. His thoughts were a mess, disjointed and desperate, the reality of his situation becoming clear in the most painful way possible. He could never confess his feelings to you. He couldn’t do that to you. The curse would take away his love, his memory of you, everything. And if he told you—if he allowed himself to truly love you—then when the curse took its toll, it would tear both of them apart. You’d be left with nothing but the broken pieces of a love that wasn’t meant to last.

And yet, he couldn’t stop the flood of emotions that overwhelmed him. Every time he saw you, every time you smiled, every time you laughed, it felt like his heart had a reason to beat again. But this was a fleeting joy. He couldn’t hold onto it. He couldn’t let you become the next casualty of his curse.

Kai took a deep breath, wiping his eyes before picking up the pen again. He wrote, not with the intention of ever showing it to you, but for himself. Maybe if he could put his feelings into words, they would somehow become more manageable. Maybe he could come to terms with this loss before it even happened.

"To my future self,

If you're reading this, then you’ve already lost her.

I don't know how, but I know it will happen. This curse... this cruel curse will erase everything, just like it always has. You won't remember her face. You won’t remember the sound of her voice, the way she laughs, or the way she makes you feel like you’ve finally found home. You won’t remember how her presence makes you feel alive, how she has this way of looking at you, this unspoken understanding, like you’re the only two people in the world.

But I need you to remember this—remember what it felt like to love her, even if you can’t remember her name. Remember the warmth of her touch, the kindness in her eyes. Hold onto that, no matter how much the memories fade.

You may not be able to hold onto her physically, but don’t let her slip completely. Don't forget how much you loved her, even if she doesn't exist in your mind anymore. You will lose everything. You will lose her. But don’t forget this: she was everything.

Please, don’t let her go, even if the curse makes you forget how much you care. She deserves better. She deserves all the love we had to give, and more. You’ll be broken when it happens. But I need you to remember… I need you to keep that love, even when you can’t feel it anymore.

I’m begging you, don’t let her leave. She’s worth every broken piece of us."

The ink dried on the paper as Kai folded the letter carefully, almost reverently, before placing it in the box with all the others. His chest was tight, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. There was no way to stop what was coming. He couldn’t protect you from the curse, no matter how much he wanted to. The pain of forgetting you—of forgetting the very essence of you—would be unbearable.

And yet, in the quiet of his room, surrounded by the evidence of his love for you, Kai felt as if he had already lost you. The letter he had written wasn’t just a plea—it was a desperate hope. A hope that, even if he couldn’t remember you, his future self would somehow carry the weight of this love with him, and that love would be enough, even in its broken state.

But deep down, he knew it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

As he laid down that night, the letter still fresh in his mind, he thought of you. He thought of your smile, of the way your hand fit perfectly in his, of the way you had slowly, gently, found your way into his heart. He didn’t want to forget you. He didn’t want to lose you.

But he knew it was inevitable.

And that was the hardest part.

The weeks had passed in a blur for Kai. The curse, as inevitable as it was painful, seemed to be growing stronger by the day. What had once been fleeting moments of forgotten details—small things like where he left his jacket or the name of a book he had been reading—had now become unsettling, disorienting waves. It was like a fog had settled into his mind, blotting out the things that mattered most.

Kai felt it creeping in, like a cold hand around his heart. The things he cherished, the people he loved—they were beginning to fade. The memories were no longer his own to keep. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how desperately he clung to them, they slipped away. And with each passing day, the pain of losing you became more unbearable.

One evening, as he sat at his kitchen table, the candlelight flickering on the surface, he felt a chill run through him. It wasn’t just the curse this time. No, it was something deeper, more overwhelming. It was you—your absence.

He stared down at the photo of the two of you together on the table, trying to place the memories, but they were slipping further from his grasp. He had forgotten the little things first: your favorite color, the way you liked your coffee, the sound of your laughter when you told a joke. Then, he began to forget the bigger moments: the way you first met, the promises you made to each other, even the quiet, tender moments when he had held you close.

But it wasn’t just the memories. It was you. He couldn’t remember your name. Turning the photo around, he sees your name, written in black ink next to his. Kai + Y/N = Besties Forever

“Y/N…” He whispered the name, as though testing it, hoping it would spark something inside him, but it didn’t. It felt distant, like a word he had once known but had now lost to time.

His breath hitched in his chest. "Who are you?" he thought, panic rising in his throat. "What am I forgetting?"

The panic swelled, drowning him in a deep, dark abyss. He grabbed the first thing he could find—one of the letters he had written to himself, one of the hundreds that were stored away in the box. He tore it open and began to read, his eyes scanning the words, the familiar handwriting that had once been his lifeline.

"Don’t let her leave. She’s worth every broken piece of us."

Kai’s chest tightened painfully as he read those words. His fingers trembled, the letter shaking in his hands. The words meant so much more now, piercing through the fog in his mind. They were a plea, a desperate cry from a future self who had already forgotten everything, everything that mattered to him.

“I love her.” The realization hit him like a wave, as if the memory of loving you had been hidden beneath layers of fog, waiting for this moment to break free. His heart ached with the weight of the truth. He loved you, but he couldn’t hold onto it. Not like this.

His tears blurred the ink on the page as he sank back into his chair, gasping for air. He clutched the letter tightly to his chest, like it could somehow save him from the pain. I love you, he thought again, the words so simple, so impossible. He couldn’t remember your face, your smile, the sound of your voice—but somehow, he still loved you.

The curse had taken everything from him, but it hadn’t taken his heart. At least, not yet.

The morning air was still, a fragile quiet hanging in the apartment as you waited for Kai to return from his errand. You had been visiting him more often lately, bringing him meals or simply sitting in the same room, offering a quiet comfort. The curse had taken its toll on both of you, and yet, in small moments, there was still some semblance of peace when you were together. Even in the face of the ever-growing loss, there was something deeply intimate about those moments—something you clung to.

You had arrived early that morning, hoping to surprise him with his favorite breakfast. As you set the table, you noticed something odd—a box hidden under the desk, tucked just out of sight. It wasn’t like Kai to leave things around like that, especially something so carefully concealed. Curiosity gnawed at you, and though you knew better, you couldn’t help but reach for it.

The box was heavier than you expected, the paper crinkling in your hands as you carefully lifted the lid. Inside, there were stacks of letters—neatly folded, each one dated, with Kai’s familiar handwriting on the front. Your fingers trembled as you pulled one out and read the first few lines.

At first, you thought they were just musings, idle thoughts that Kai often jotted down when he was alone. But as you continued reading, the words began to take shape, and with each sentence, the gravity of the situation became clearer. These were more than just thoughts. These were confessions.

Each letter was written to his future self—something you hadn’t known he had done. You had always known that Kai was a private person, but this—this was something else. He had been writing to himself, preserving pieces of his soul, just in case he lost them. The first few letters spoke of his growing fears, how the curse had begun to erode his memory in small, almost imperceptible ways. But with each passing letter, the tone changed. The fear turned into desperation. And there it was, one of the lines that took your breath away:

"She’s worth every broken piece of us."

The words swirled around in your mind, resonating with a pain that you hadn’t expected. You had known for a while that Kai was struggling with something—his slow drift into forgetfulness, the moments when he would lose himself completely in confusion. But you hadn’t realized just how much it had consumed him.

He had been fighting the curse, not only for himself, but for you. The love you shared had been slipping through his fingers, and yet he had been holding onto it, with every letter, with every desperate plea to himself.

Tears began to gather at the corners of your eyes. You wiped them away quickly, afraid to let them fall, but they came anyway. You couldn’t stop them. The depth of his feelings—the pain in his words—it all crashed over you. Kai loved you. And he had known, for all this time, that he wouldn’t be able to hold onto that love forever. But he had fought for it anyway, and in doing so, he had written to you, to himself, to anyone who might find the truth of his heart.

You picked up another letter, your heart aching with every word, and you read on. Each letter, each plea, each confession painted a picture of a man who loved deeply and was terrified of what was happening to him. He wrote about you, about the moments you shared, about how the curse had stolen everything but the love he felt for you. And in that love, he was still holding on.

As you read, the air around you seemed to thicken, the weight of the letters pressing down on your chest. The realization hit you like a wave—the man you loved, the man who had slowly become a stranger to you, had always known what was happening. He had always known that one day, he would forget you. But even with that knowledge, he had continued to love you with everything he had.

You sank to the floor, clutching the letters to your chest. You had always been the one to be strong for him, to offer him comfort when he needed it most, but now—now you were the one who felt lost. How could you ever show him how much these letters meant to you? How could you ever explain that even in his forgetfulness, even as the curse took more of him away, you would never stop loving him?

A sharp, painful sob escaped you, breaking the stillness of the room. You couldn’t hold it back any longer. The heartbreak of seeing his love, his anguish, all laid out in front of you—it was too much. Kai was fading, and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“He’s fighting so hard,” you thought, your chest tight with sorrow. “But I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight this with him.”

But even through the pain, something in you refused to give up. You couldn’t let the love that Kai had so desperately held onto slip through your fingers. You couldn’t turn your back on him now—not when he needed you the most.

The sound of the front door opening made you jump, and you quickly wiped away your tears. Kai stood in the doorway, his eyes searching the room, his gaze landing on you.

“Y/N?” he asked, his voice quiet, unsure. "What’s going on?"

You stood up slowly, still holding the letters in your hands. You didn’t know what to say. The words felt like they were lodged in your throat, too heavy to escape. But in that moment, you realized that the letters weren’t just about Kai's love—they were about hope. They were about a future he wished for but feared he wouldn’t be able to reach. And you would fight with him to make sure that love, that hope, didn’t fade along with the memories.

You looked up at him, a shaky breath leaving your lips. “I found something,” you said, your voice faltering, but firm. “I found your letters.”

Kai froze, his face a mixture of surprise and guilt. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.

“I know,” you whispered, your heart breaking all over again. "I know you’ve been writing to yourself. I know everything, Kai."

His gaze softened, and a vulnerability you hadn’t seen in weeks flickered across his face. The weight of your words hung between you like a thread, fragile and delicate.

“You’re not alone in this,” you said, taking a step toward him. “I’ll be here, even when you forget. I’ll help you remember. I promise.”

And in that moment, you both understood: no matter how much Kai’s memories faded, no matter how many pieces of him were lost, you would fight for him. You would fight for the love that still lingered between you—because that love, despite everything, was worth it.

The day you had been dreading arrived. You woke up with a sense of heaviness in your chest, knowing that the curse had slowly been taking more from Kai. His memory was fading, and there was nothing you could do to stop it. The letters you had found the day before had only confirmed what you already feared. But you still hoped—hoped that maybe today, Kai would remember you.

When you arrived at his apartment that afternoon, you were met with a strange silence. Normally, Kai would greet you with that small smile, maybe a joke about how you always showed up with something for him to eat. But today, there was nothing. The door was slightly ajar, and as you entered, you found him sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.

“Hey,” you said softly, stepping closer.

Kai looked up at you, but there was no recognition in his eyes. His gaze was distant, clouded with confusion.

“Who are you?” he asked, his voice flat, almost disinterested. “Why are you here?”

A chill ran through you, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. It was like a punch to the gut, the way he looked at you like a stranger.

“Kai, it’s me… Y/N,” you said, your voice trembling. “You know me. Please… you have to remember.”

His brow furrowed as he stood up, taking a few steps back from you. “I don’t know you,” he said, his voice growing more firm. “Whoever you are, I don’t want any trouble. If you don’t leave, I’ll call the police.”

The words stung more than anything you had ever heard from him. The man you loved, the one who had once been your closest friend, was now a stranger to you.

Panic gripped your heart, but you forced yourself to stay calm. You couldn’t lose him—not like this. Not when you still had a chance to remind him of who he was, who you were together.

“No, no, please don’t do that,” you said, holding your hands out in a placating gesture. “Kai, please listen to me. You’re not well. You don’t remember, but we—we’ve been through so much together.” You took a hesitant step toward him, searching his face for any sign of recognition. “Please, let me show you.” You grabbed his wrist and brought it next to yours. Showing him the matching bracelet you had bought together for both of you. “We got this together. remember? We picked them out together. I convinced you to get matching ones with me, remember? Don’t you dare forget about this, I told you I made sure you wouldn’t forget”

You dropped his wrist, watching his eyes flicker as he looked at it. There was a slight shift in his expression, like he was trying to grasp something just out of reach, but the confusion still clouded his face.

“Kai, we got this to remind us both that no matter what, we were always together,” you said, your voice soft but desperate. “Every time you wore it, it was a promise. A promise that we would never forget each other.”

He held your wrist, his fingers brushing back and forth against the bracelet. There was a brief moment where you both stood there, the weight of the silence settling in. But then, he just stared at it, his face blank.

“I don’t… I don’t remember,” he whispered, his voice cracking. The words broke something inside of you, the final piece of hope crumbling.

You swallowed, pushing past the lump in your throat. “Please, Kai. Please try to remember.”

There was no answer, just the quiet hum of the room, as you realized you weren’t getting through to him. The frustration, the heartbreak, was unbearable. But you refused to give up. “I have something—something important.”

You quickly ran around the apartment, scrambling to find the box of letters you had discovered earlier. It felt like an eternity as you searched through the drawers, the cabinets, before finally finding them tucked away in the corner of his desk. You grabbed the box, clutching it tightly as you returned to him.

“Please,” you whispered, your hands shaking as you held the box in front of him. “You need to read these. They’ll help you remember. I’m not lying to you, Kai. I swear. These letters—they’re from you. They’re from your heart. You wrote them to yourself. You’ve always known what’s happening to you.”

He stared at the box for a moment, his expression unreadable. Slowly, he took it from your hands, but his confusion didn’t seem to lessen. He opened one of the letters, scanning the words with a furrowed brow.

“‘Don’t let them leave,’” he read aloud, his voice shaky. “‘They’re worth every broken piece of us.’” His voice faltered as he looked up at you, his face clouded with sorrow. “What does this mean?”

You swallowed, your heart aching with each passing second. “It means that you loved me,” you said, your voice breaking. “You still love me. Even if you don’t remember it, Kai—please, don’t forget.”

As he read more of the letters, the room grew silent except for the soft rustling of paper. And then, Kai’s composure finally broke. The letters slipped from his hands, and he sank to the floor, his face twisted in pain. Tears filled his eyes, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was truly himself again—vulnerable, raw.

“I don’t want to forget,” he whispered, his voice shaking with emotion. “I don’t want to lose you… but it’s happening, isn’t it? Every day, I forget something. And the worst part is, I don’t even know if I’ll ever remember.”

You knelt down beside him, your hands gently reaching for his. “You will. We’ll find a way. I promise.”

But even as you spoke the words, you knew the truth—you didn’t know how much longer you could keep him from slipping away completely.

“Please don’t leave me,” he whispered, his voice so small, so fragile. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” you said firmly, your heart breaking for him. “I love you, Kai. And I’ll stay by your side, even if you forget me every single day. I’ll love you every time.”

The air between you was thick with the weight of your unspoken fears, but at that moment, there was nothing but love. Even in the face of everything, you couldn’t let him go. And neither could he.

The days that followed were a mixture of pain and small, precious moments of connection. Each time Kai forgot you, it was like losing him all over again. But each time, you reminded him of who you were, of the love you shared. Every morning, you greeted him with a soft smile, a quiet reassurance that you were still there, no matter how much he struggled to remember.

At first, it felt like an endless cycle. You would sit with him, gently telling stories of your past, hoping to jog his memory. You spoke of the first time you met, how you’d both been awkward, shy—how you had tried so hard to avoid that sudden, inexplicable pull toward each other. But something about him had always felt right, even in your early days of friendship. You reminded him of the long nights spent talking, the way you’d laughed until your stomachs hurt, how he had always been the one to help you when you needed it most.

And sometimes, when the silence between you grew heavy, you would find small ways to remind him—little touches, soft glances. You would let him trace the bracelet on your wrist, the one that matched his. The touch of his fingers against the metal, the way his hand would linger, gave you hope that maybe, just maybe, the memory of you would come back.

Kai had always been so different when he remembered. The walls he built up when he was lost in his confusion would crumble as soon as he recalled the way you had been there for him. You’d make him laugh, tell him ridiculous stories of your shared moments—those little inside jokes that only the two of you understood. You’d hold his hand as he laughed, feeling the warmth of him beside you, even if just for a fleeting moment.

There was a time, not long ago, when you sat down together on the couch after a long day. You started to tell him about the first time you painted together—how it had been messy, chaotic, but beautiful in its own way. He listened, still struggling to fully connect the pieces, but something in his eyes softened as he sat there, listening. You showed him the canvas you had both worked on, the colors that had splashed onto the surface, forming something that was imperfect but real.

“I don’t remember the first time we did this,” he admitted, his voice thick with regret. “But it sounds like something I would do.”

“You did,” you smiled, brushing your fingers over the painting. “We painted together and had a competition to see who could make the most ridiculous art. You won, but only because you made that ridiculous purple whale.”

A laugh escaped him, though it was laced with uncertainty. “A purple whale?”

“Yeah. Don’t you remember? You were so proud of it. It was huge, and it had these big, exaggerated eyes.”

His lips tugged into the slightest of smiles, the first you had seen in days. “I don’t remember that,” he murmured, but then he paused, his eyes locking with yours. “But I want to.”

“You will,” you promised softly. “We’ll keep painting. We’ll make new memories, even if it takes a thousand tries.”

And so you did. You spent hours together, making more art, more chaos, more laughter. The process was slow, but with each stroke of the brush, each color added to the canvas, Kai seemed to relax, his heart opening in ways that felt familiar, even if it wasn’t entirely whole yet.

One evening, you brought out a guitar and began to strum softly. It was something you used to do together, a way of passing the time, of reconnecting when words felt too heavy. You started with a simple melody, something that didn’t need to be said—just music to fill the space between you. Kai watched, unsure at first, but slowly he joined in, tapping his fingers against his leg in rhythm, his voice uncertain but getting stronger as you continued.

“This is how we always did it, wasn’t it?” you asked as you played. “You and me—making up songs, telling stories through music.”

Kai nodded slowly, his voice soft. “Yeah. I think… I think I remember.”

You smiled at him, the warmth between you both growing stronger with each moment you spent rebuilding what had been broken. Even if he couldn’t remember everything, even if the curse kept trying to tear you apart, you refused to let go. And Kai—though he was still lost in the fog of his memories—was holding onto you as tightly as he could.

In the evenings, after the music stopped and the painting was done, you would sit together in the quiet, just holding each other. No words were needed. You knew that as long as you kept telling him stories, as long as you kept showing him the love that had always been there, there was hope. Even if it was fleeting, even if it was only for a moment, Kai was still there. And you would never give up on him.

With each passing day, the memories might fade again. But you were determined to keep creating new ones. And when those old memories returned, you would be waiting, just as you always had been.

Even if it meant starting over each time, you were never going to let him forget that you loved him, and you always would.

Months had passed since the curse had first started, and in that time, you and Kai had settled into a fragile rhythm. There were good days—days where the fog in his mind seemed to lift just enough for him to remember fleeting moments, bits of laughter shared between you, the warmth of his hand in yours. But there were also bad days, where he looked at you with blank eyes, a stranger to him once again. Despite it all, you stayed.

Now, you lived together, sharing a space that once felt like a sanctuary but now held an undertone of pain. It was a daily battle, a fight to keep the love alive when it was constantly slipping away. But you couldn’t give up—not when he was fighting too, even if he didn’t fully understand why.

This morning, like every other, you woke before sunrise. The house was still, save for the soft sound of Kai’s breathing as he slept beside you. It was a routine at this point, you moved quietly, careful not to wake him, and grabbed your notebook from the nightstand. This had become a routine for you—to document the days, the moments you shared, the love you held onto so fiercely.

As you wrote, the words felt both familiar and painful. Yesterday had been one of those rare, beautiful days where Kai had laughed freely. You had baked cookies together, the kitchen a mess of flour and sugar, but neither of you had cared. You remembered the way his eyes had crinkled at the corners when he caught the flour on your nose, how he’d leaned over and kissed it off with a soft laugh. For a moment, you had forgotten the curse, forgotten the weight of everything that was slipping away.

But as always, reality crept back in.

You wrote, “Yesterday, you looked at me and smiled, like I wasn’t a stranger. Like we hadn’t been through this over and over again. I wish I could tell you that today would be different—that the curse will lift, and you will remember me completely.”

You paused, the words heavy in your chest. There was so much you wanted to say, but the pain of it all made it difficult. You ended the note with a final line, one you’ve written countless of time yet still feels like it had been ripped from your very soul: "Even when you forget me again, I will still love you with everything I have, Kai. I just wish you could remember that."

You placed the notebook carefully on the bedside table, leaving it open to the page you’d just written. With a quiet sigh, you climbed back under the covers and curled up beside Kai, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. You closed your eyes, trying to quiet the whirlwind in your mind, but the ache in your heart remained. It was always there, even in the moments when you were together.

Kai woke slowly, the soft light of the morning creeping into the room. He turned his head toward you, his brow furrowing as he saw your sleeping form next to him. For a moment, he simply stared at you, his mind a blur of confusion. He had no memory of the night before, no recollection of who you were in that moment. The curse had taken another piece of him, and for the thousandth time, he didn’t know you.

The room felt empty despite your presence, as if a vital part of him was missing. His eyes fell on the open notebook beside him. He reached for it, his fingers trembling slightly as he read the words. His heart pounded in his chest as he read through your description of the day, your laugh, your love. His breath caught when he read the last line, the raw emotion that poured from it. He felt something shift inside him, an overwhelming sorrow and recognition that he couldn’t fully grasp.

He looked back at you, lying peacefully next to him, and something in his chest broke. He didn’t remember all of it, but he knew, in that moment, that you were everything to him. His confusion swirled with a deep, aching emptiness. He couldn’t recall how he had fallen in love with you, but he felt it now—so painfully, so deeply.

Without thinking, Kai slid closer to you, the vulnerability in his eyes clearer than ever. He gently pulled you into his arms, burying his face in your hair, holding onto you as if you were the one thing in the world that mattered. You stirred in his arms, and without even realizing it, you clung to him, your own tears threatening to fall.

You had always known the pain of his memory loss, the ache that came with seeing him forget you again and again. But this—this was something different. The rawness in his touch, the desperate need to hold you close, even though he had no idea who you were—it was more than you could bear. You whispered his name, your voice thick with emotion.

“Kai…”

He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching yours with confusion and pain. “I don’t know who you are,” he whispered, his voice raw. “But I... I know that I need you.”

Your heart clenched. You held him tighter, your tears silently falling as you pressed your cheek to his chest. “You’re not lost, Kai. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Despite the unfamiliarity, despite the confusion that still clouded his mind, Kai held you with everything he had. He didn’t understand what was happening or why his memories were slipping through his fingers like sand, but he knew one thing: you were his anchor. You were the one person who made sense in the chaos of his mind.

And for a moment, you allowed yourself to hope—hope that this time, no matter how many times he forgot you, you would never let go of him. Even if it meant living through the pain of his memory loss again and again, you would hold on. Because he was worth it. Every single time.

Rei's Notes ✎: Tadaaa, another fic again this month, I hope this gave you the feels the same way it did for me while I was writing it. I had “Would you fall in love with me again” from epic the musical on repeat while writing this.

Thanks a lot to @beomiracles for beta reading part of this story!! Lots of love to her~ Not much else to say honestly, so I hope you enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!

Taglist: @yunverie @dawngyu @hueningstar @hhoneyhan @immelissaaa @lovingbeomgyudayone @xylatox @soobabby @i-like-to-read-at-4am

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seoulzie · 9 months ago

Text

blurred boundaries

WHEREIN: huening kai needs help with his...! MDNI

pairing: inexperienced!hyuka x f! reader genre: suggestive, smut warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing, desperate kai-ish, handjob

SEUL SPEAKS! this was only supposed to be suggestive but i got carried away.. this is my first time ever writing straight-up smut

the room was dimly lit by the soft glow of a single bedside lamp, casting a warm hue over the scattered books and papers. huening kai sat on the edge of the bed, his usually playful eyes filled with a mixture of anxiety and desire. you’d been friends for years, the kind of friendship that often teetered on the edge of something more, but had never quite crossed that line.

tonight felt different, though.

“kai, what’s up? you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” you teased, trying to lighten the tension that had settled between you.

he looked down, avoiding your eyes. “can we talk? about something serious?”

you nodded, moving to sit beside him on the bed. the silence stretched out, and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. “of course. what’s going on?”

he took a deep breath, his voice barely above a whisper. “i… i need your help with something. and it’s not something i can ask anyone else.”

his words sent a shiver down your spine. “anything, kai. you know that.”

he finally looked up, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity you hadn’t seen before. “i need you to help me… with this.” his eyes flicked downward, and you followed his gaze, understanding dawning on you.

“oh.” it was all you could manage to say, the implications of his request hitting you like a tidal wave. am i really going to do this? to a friend? the thought echoed in your mind, the internal conflict rising.

“i know it’s a lot to ask,” he said quickly, his face flushing with embarrassment. “but i trust you, and… i don’t know how else to deal with it.”

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing heart. this was uncharted territory, a step that could change everything between you. but the vulnerability in his eyes, the trust he was placing in you, was undeniable.

“okay,” you said softly, the word feeling heavy with the weight of your decision. “tell me what you need.”

his relief was palpable, and he reached out to take your hand, his touch warm and slightly trembling. “just… help me with this. please.”

you nodded, moving closer to him. your fingers brushed against his thigh, and you felt him shiver. the air between you seemed to crackle with tension as you leaned in, your lips hovering just inches from his.

“are you sure about this, kai?” you whispered, giving him one last chance to back out. your mind was still racing, questions and doubts swirling. this was huening kai, could you really cross this line?

“i’m sure,” he replied, his voice steady despite the vulnerability in his eyes. “i need you.”

with that, you closed the distance between you, your lips meeting in a tentative kiss. it was soft at first, a gentle exploration, but quickly deepened as the desire between you ignited. his hands found your waist, pulling you closer as you shifted to straddle his lap.

you could feel the hardness of his arousal pressing against you, and it sent a thrill through your body. breaking the kiss, you moved to press your lips against his neck, eliciting a low groan from him.

“kai,” you breathed against his skin, “tell me what you want.”

his hands tightened on your waist, guiding your hips to grind against him. “i want you. all of you.”

you nodded, understanding his need and your own desire to fulfill it. slowly, you began to undress, each piece of clothing falling to the floor, leaving you exposed and vulnerable. his eyes roamed over your body, filled with a hunger that matched your own.

as you reached for the waistband of his pants, he caught your hand, his eyes meeting yours with a silent question. you nodded, giving him the reassurance he needed, and together you removed the last barriers between you.

the feeling of his skin against yours was electric, and as you moved to take him in your hand, his breath hitched in anticipation. you began to stroke him, slow and deliberate, watching the way his eyes fluttered closed, the way his lips parted in pleasure.

his breaths came in short gasps, and you felt the tension coiling in his muscles. you quickened your pace, your hand gliding smoothly over his length, the soft, slick sounds filling the room. his moans grew louder, and you could see the struggle in his expression, the way he tried to hold back.

“kai,” you whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to his parted lips, “let go. i’ve got you.”

his response was a deep, guttural groan, his hips bucking against your hand as he finally surrendered to the pleasure. you felt his release, warm and wet against your palm, and you continued to stroke him through the aftershocks, milking every last drop of his climax.

when he finally stilled, you released him, your hand sticky with his essence. he looked up at you, eyes glazed with satisfaction, and pulled you into another kiss, this one slow and languid, filled with gratitude and lingering desire.

as you pulled away, you reached into the nightstand drawer, retrieving a condom. his eyes widened slightly as he watched you tear open the foil packet, his breathing quickening once more.

“are we really doing this?” you asked, your voice soft, giving him one final chance to change his mind.

he nodded, his eyes locked onto yours. “i’m sure. please.”

you rolled the condom onto him with practiced ease, the sensation making him groan with anticipation. positioning yourself over him, you slowly lowered yourself onto his length, the feeling of him filling you completely sending waves of pleasure through your body.

the rhythm you set was slow at first, each movement deliberate and controlled, savoring the sensation of being joined so intimately. but as the pleasure built, your movements quickened, driven by a shared need. his hands roamed your body, caressing and exploring, heightening the sensations.

the sounds of your shared pleasure filled the room, a symphony of gasps, moans, and the slick, rhythmic slap of skin against skin. you felt the tension building within you, the familiar coil of impending release tightening in your core.

“kai,” you murmured, “i’m close.”

“me too,” he replied, his voice strained with desire.

with a final thrust, you felt yourself tip over the edge, the waves of pleasure crashing over you. he followed moments later, his body tensing beneath you as he found his release.

for a few moments, you lay together, catching your breath, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. you rolled off him, lying side by side, your fingers intertwining.

“thank you,” he said softly, turning to look at you. “for everything.”

you smiled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “we’re in this together, kai. no matter what.”

and as you lay there, wrapped in each other’s arms, you knew that whatever lines had been blurred tonight, the bond between you was stronger than ever.

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thetxtdevil · 5 months ago

Text

Strawberry Dreams

Blueberry Boy!Kai x Strawberry Shortcake!Reader

summary: Kai knows a girl and he knows that no one is sweeter. She's got that special touch.

content: nsfw/mdni short thoughts, aphrodisiac body, fem.reader, innocent reader+kai kinda corrupting each other, oral (f. & m. rec), breeding kink, descriptions of cum, cum eating, missionary, riding

word count: 900

In Strawberryland where all the people are happy and a little fruity. A big plump strawberry cottage sits in a green meadow and across was a just as big blueberry house. Cute, shy, Blueberry Boy Kai, sits and waits watching your house. Waiting until his best friend opens her red and white striped curtains and unlock the top of her front dutch door, and like clock work you did. "Hi Kai!" "Hi y/n!!!" You're Strawberry Shortcake, you are Kai's best friend in the world and the most popular girl of the place. You wave to all your friends while riding your bike all through town and to your bakery booth. While Blueberry Kai follows you close behind. Your booth is open 5 days a week at the Strawberryland Farmers' Market and Kai is always there to help you set up.

On your free days you were consistently making your strawberry shortcake desserts while Kai strums his guitar on your pink fluffy rug in your very red living room. "Mmm Kai you need to try this!" The blueberry boy is swift on his feet prepared to grab a spoon to try your new icing, but he stops once he sees your fingers stretched out in front of him. His form bends down to lick your fingers getting more than a taste of your icing. His agrees that the icing tastes really good, but something felt odd... he felt different... Hungry, not in his stomach, hunger burned in his chest down to his groin. Kai's blue eyes study your focused face attention back on your pastry. The next events happens fast, you gasp feeling something soft and wet licking your neck. You look down only to see a fluff of the blueberry boy's sapphire hair. Now you were questioning this same new feeling something weird yet felt good...

Poor, poor strawberry you, you didn't know that your strawberry nature was an aphrodisiac. Now that your blueberry boy had a taste, he's addicted. A whole pandora's box of smut and so on...

Your booth had a late start that Monday when you asked help to bring up the canopy. Kai walks up behind you raising his arms successfully creating a cover for your little shop, but then you feel something poking you. You turn around with worried eyes only to be faced with a predatory stare from Kai. Leading him to fuck you under the table of the booth. Once you begged him to stop because you needed to start business he respectfully stops, but he never leaves his spot under the table. Finding relief to eat you out while you try so hard to give the greatest customer service.

You were an aphrodisiac, but your slick was something more to Blueberry Kai. A sweet taste of fresh strawberries that strike his sweet tooth just right. His long tongue explored your folds intently, learning fast what soft parts have you shaking.

But who knew your best friend would make you just as obsessive. It seemed like Blueberry Kai's scent became stronger every sexual encounter you two had. He had an earthy scent that smelled close to a childhood memory made you feel warm inside. His cheeks turned the brightest pink every kiss you gave. Head lowering down to what seemed like a chronically erected dick, you soon found another addiction, his purple blueberry scone flavored cum. So sweet yet a little salty, you'd do anything to hear his whimpered moans and to get your tongue a shade of his lilac cum.

"Come on, Shortcake, what's taking you so long?" You bite your tongue as your hear your lemony friend call out. "B-berry I was supposed to go out with my friends today." However you were far from ready to go out, at that moment your legs were over Kai's shoulders while he was balls deep in you. "Come on, sweet, just one more." it will be 3 more until that blueberry is tired and you can go hangout with your friends

Let me take it a step further and mention Kai's new found breeding kink and loving the idea of a strawberry/blueberry hybrid child. You're making a pie with a mini version of him with purple hair, that's what he envisions when he sees you all creampied with his cum. You make Kai want to do it again and again when you whine out of arousal every time he pushes his sweet cum back in your cunt.

A sweet picnic turned into a make-out session. You two bike down the road eventually turning into a dirt path next to a big lake. Laying a gingham blanket on the plush emerald grass, shaded by the trees that encapsulate the area. You sit close to the Blueberry Boy, feeding him a triangular cut jelly sandwich. Oops, some jelly is left on his lip, you lick it off. Leading to a kiss, to an open mouth kiss, his tongue gets a taste of you quickly reminded of the fact that you're a walking aphrodisiac. Kai picks you up to put you on his lap, not wasting time to have you watching the small waves of the water while riding his big cock. :')

This goes to show that Blueberry Boy Kai and Strawberry Shortcake you are a very fluffy couple. So sweet just like your names, but please PLEASE don't have Kai get too close to you or you will be split into two strawberries.

A nuisance,

TxT's Devil 🍓 🫐

taglist: @inkigayocamman, @naoristerling, @incogrio, @biteyoubiteme

#txt devil #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #txt smut #txt x reader #txt x you #txt x y/n #txt thoughts #txt imagines #hueningkai imagines #huening kai smut #hueningkai smut #hueningkai x reader #hueningkai hard thoughts #hueningkai hard hours #hyuka hard hours #hyuka smut #hyuka x reader

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lilykatelyn-blog · 2 years ago

Note

first time w/ txt <33

ofc anon! <333

❤︎ Your first time with txt ❤︎

SEND IN A REQUEST

pairing: txt x reader

genre: smut, fluff

warnings: fingering, protected sex, pet names (baby, Jagi, Jagiya, babe, honey), kissing, making out, dirty talk, soft sex, cursing, Big Dick Yeonjunnie and Soobinnie, aftercare :), fem bodies in Tae’s and Soob’s, squirting.

❤︎Yeonjun❤︎

He’s soft, despite what everyone says, that’s what I think. He’ll take his time slowly fingering you because.. 9 inches- and my man is girthy, very girthy. He makes you cum at least twice on his fingers, and once on his mouth. Then comes the dick, and it was worth it. He moans so much at your tight hole, and you moan at how good he hammers into you. Let’s just say you passed out after that. His aftercare is so soft, he cleans you up with a towel, you two take a shower if you have the stamina (but you passed out). He gives you water and cuddles up to you whispering sweet nothings, and how well you did as you guys drift off <3

“mmh- J-Jagiya, taking me so- nngh, s-so well,” he whispered as he thrusted in quickly, watching your blissed out expression. God, he could almost cum to that. “J-jun~, so go-od,” You trailed off, your eyes rolling into the back of your head. “Jun-n~, co-ming~.” You warned as you squirted all over him. “Fuck baby, nngh- coming too,” he told you as he thrusted a few more times before he stilled, painting your walls white.

❤︎Soobin❤︎

So so so sweet ❤️ He’s so soft prepping you, while praising you softly. He had it all planned, you would have champagne, watch a movie, then have sex (man had it in his plan notebook saying literally that 💀) also made sure he had multiple condoms and was clean. He slowly eased into you, waiting for you to adjust to his size, because let’s not lie, he’s BIG. And not like 6 inches big, but like 8-9 inches BIG. He has to hold back while slowly thrusting into you, because you’re just so tight and it just feels so good. For aftercare, he’s on another level, he runs a bubble bath, gets you water, food of youre hungry, and makes sure you’re comfortable. He’s just an all rounded sweetheart <3

You were on Soobin’s lap, champagne long forgotten. You swallowed each others moans as you both grinder on each other. “Babe- fuck.” He whispered pulling away and stopping you. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, just need to be inside you right now.” He muttered in your neck, lifting you up and leading you two into the bedroom, where you continued your make out session, sharing many kisses into the night.

❤︎Beomgyu❤︎

He makes it pleasurable, and something you noticed is, what he lacks in length, he makes up for in girth. THiCK, super thick. He’ll try to hold himself back, but he’ll fail. Honestly, more of a groaner than a moaner ngl. As he thrusts into you, he’ll either be praising and dirty talking or just dirty talking. He doesn’t have the patience to finger you, but he still will to some extent because he wants you to enjoy yourself as much as possible. For aftercare, he is so sweet and just smiled sheepishly and giggled at your fucked out expression.

“did I go too hard?” He asked, giggling and smiling as he gently lowered you into the bath. “just a bit.” You slurred and giggled a bit. “I’ll be back Jagi.” He ran to get you water. As soon as he got back, he joined you and.. well.. another round started as soon as you got out. “Nghhhhh- so good for me honey~” he grunted thrusting into you hard. You couldn’t do anything but moan. As you once again reached your high, you wanted him. “G-gyu.. co-cominnnngg~” you stammered. “Me too,” he groaned, hitting just the right spot as you squirted on his dick and he came in his condom.

❤︎Taehyun❤︎

boob man. I just know it. The first time you guys have sex, he’s all over them. He’s kissing them, fucking them, cumming on them, all the good stuff. Then he slowly fingers you until your hole is big enough to take him. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a bit of a stretch, but it’s less painful than it would have been. Ughhh, he is so into oral, just sucking at your clit so hard, making your brain go into oblivion, all words long gone and just incoherent noises remained.

“T-tae!” You screamed tugging on his hair for the nth time, as he made you cum on his mouth for the 2nd time that night. “Just one more Jagi, then I’ll fuck you until you can’t remember your own name.” As he licked up your slit again. “T-tae! Too sensitive! No more!” You moaned, trying to push him away but failing, after a while the pain turned into pleasure and you found yourself coming undone once again.

❤︎Huening Kai❤︎

also a big boob guy. Very big on it, always stuttering as he entered you. Only after fingering you and you blowing him. He has to physically force himself not to cum inside you after you cum. He enters back in after you cum, chasing his own high and eventually cumming all over your stomach and boobs.

“nngh, too tight!” He moaned, pulling out and jerking himself off after you came twice on his dick. You just watched the lewd scene as he came undone, moaning your name and collapsing. After he came to his senses, he got a damp towel and cleaned both of you up, giving you water and food. Then, you two cuddled and kissed through the night until you both fell asleep <3

#txt smut #txt x reader #txt #yeonjun smut #soobin smut #beomgyu smut #taehyun smut #huening Kai smut #hyuka’s smut #Yeonjun x reader #soobin x reader #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #huening Kai x reader #hyuka x reader #tomorrow x together

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dwaekkicidal · 4 months ago

Text

idk what this is. but i love academic(rivals)/college fics and also secretly-hard-dom kai

wc» 640

cw» porn with little to no plot, p in v, mentions of multiple orgasms, handcuffs, kai calls reader “pretty doll” but also a “stupid slut”, squirting

plap, plap, plap

kai’s hips smack into yours, his soaked balls creating a nasty, wet slapping noise each time they land on your clit. he’s not let up once- nor does he have any plan to.

your thigh highs have started to slide down your legs, the hem of them balling up and falling out of place from the sheer force of his thrusts.

“pretty doll.”

his words mean nothing to your mushy brain thanks to the multiple orgasms he’s already ripped from you- and he still hasnt even came once yet…

the clank of the handcuffs around your wrists ground you mentally for a moment before you zone out again, this time distracted by a mix of the overstimulation and the newfound information of how much of an absolute dom your sweet, timid peer was.

he’s always been the quiet one in your classes, the professors always opting to leave him alone in fear that he would melt into his chair and disintegrate from fear of social interaction.

but now that you knew the real kai, they all seemed so stupid.

the “real” kai was the one who had you almost completely bare on his bed (save for your tank top that was currently pulled above your tits). he had you sideways yet still completely at his mercy as he pummeled into you.

the real kai was the one who had a hand in your hair and the other spreading your ass cheek, allowing him to go a little deeper than before although he still hadnt been able to push the last bit of his length in. the action made your eyes roll into the back of your head and you couldnt do much but let your head slump against the pillow.

“k-kai-“

“shut up and just take it.” his harsh words made you whimper and the hand on your ass moved to come down on your tit, slapping you across it lightly in order to quiet you down. “c’mon baby~ you talked all that shit at the party about how my ‘subby ass’ couldn’t handle you- where did all that confidence go? hm?”

your eyes squeezed shut as his hips manages to pick up pace again. that mixed with the deep and sexy groans he let out was enough to make you tighten like a vice around him.

“stupid slut. talking all that smack when you can barely take my cock all the way.” as if to add insult to injury, he thrusted one last time into you before stopping, then he rolled his hips and angled his body so he could bottom out inside of you. completely this time.

“sh-it! kai!”

“mmmm scream my name more, baby. let the whole fucking campus know who’s fucking your brains out. let them know who has you cockdrunk and fucked silly~“

the hand in your hair tightens and tilts your head to the side, giving him space to suck and bite down on your neck, while the other hand pushes your leg up towards your chest and slides those long fingers between your thighs, rubbing quick circles around your clit.

his thrusts are sloppy as he continues fucking you towards another orgasm, but the icing on the cake for you was when he moaned into your neck and bit into your neck as he finally came- releasing literally so much hot cum into you that you convulse at the sensation and fucking squirt.

he gasps and fucks you through it until the flow stops. his hips stopped finally and you loosened your death grip on his wrist to catch your breath. you don’t notice that he’s gone quiet until the bed creaks, but before you have time to react you’re flipped over onto your back and he’s already inserting himself into you again.

“we’re not finished until you do that again.”

Taglists: (red=can't be tagged)

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess @kittycatkrissa

@nicora04 @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightndaydreams

#sian’s writing #kai hard thoughts <3 #txt smut #txt x reader #txt x reader smut #txt hard thoughts #hyuka smut #hyuka x reader #hyuka x reader smut #huening kai x reader smut #hueningkai smut #huening kai hard thoughts #huening kai hard hours #huening kai smut

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soobinsonly1bf · 1 year ago

Text

insecurities

(idol!hyuka x non-idol!reader)

warnings: nsfw, gn!reader, sub!hyuka, softdom!reader, hyuka being insecure, A LOT of praise, masturbation in front of a mirror, fluff, a little bit of dacryphilia (i think), petnames (angel, baby, love, good boy), it's just so soft tbh

!!nsfw under the cut, minors dni!!

he's just so pretty, the prettiest boy you've ever seen. how is it possible that this pretty angel was snuggled up to you right now? his soft hair tickling your skin as he hid his face under your chin. you know it was a rough day for him, you watched the live he made today with one of his group's members.

"baby, wanna talk about today's live?" you ask suddenly, your tone as gentle as possible. you keep on caressing his back slowly, your other hand in his blonde hair.

"there's nothing to talk about..." he mumbles into your neck. you sigh, pulling him away to look him in the eyes.

"you know there is." you look at him, your expression worried. you're truly worried about your amazing boy and he just pouted in response. "listen to me, we're gonna do something."

he just nods at you, after a moment saying "alright..." with a hint of confusion. you chuckle, he's just as cute as always.

"close your eyes for me, okay angel?" you say and he immidiately obeys, closing his eyes.

he sits there on bed, his eyes closed, curiously listening to the noises around him, wondering what are you doing. soon you sit behind him and he softly gasps in surprise when your hands wrap around his waist.

your hands make their way under his shirt, gently caressing his belly. you kiss his ear, chucking softly when he sighs. "i love you so much, you know? you're so perfect... so pretty, so smart, so kind, so amazing and oh so talented. the most perfect boy in the whole world." he pouts again at your words and you can't help, but want to kiss the pout off of his face.

soon you were kissing all over his neck, your hand much lower than before, playing with the waistband of his boxers. his breath got faster, but he still keep his eyes open and don't even say a word.

you're the one to break the silence. "can you do something for me? only if you want." you ask.

"do what?"

"touch your pretty cock for me. don't open your eyes tho, okay?" he can't help the little whine leaving his lips at your words alone. his hand immidiately goes into his boxers, gently taking his dick into hand and pulling it out. "yeah, just like that, now touch yourself. make yourself feel good for me." you whisper into his ear, your hand caressing his arm.

he starts stroking himself, at first slowly, as if he's embarrassed and of course he is. his big hand going up and down on his already hard cock, precum visible on the tip.

"you really are so good for me, doing just as i say... you love being my good boy, don't you? because you really are one." he whimpers at your words, little "yes, yes, i am" whimpers leaving his mouth.

"you're so pretty like this, your cheeks are already so red, you know? open your eyes now." he does as you say and his hand stops in shock. he looks at himself in the reflection of the mirror, that's standing right in front of the bed, leaning on the wall. now he knows what you were doing earlier...

"love, don't stop. keep touching yourself." you say, kissing his cheek. he starts stroking his length again, as slowly as before.

"you're always pretty... your nose is so perfect, you see it? look at you, you're just perfect. your eyes are so pretty too, keep them open for me." he whimpers, he's so embarrassed, but he can't even stop his hand, it feels too good.

"i love your hair, you look so pretty in every color you do... how is it even possible? and you smell so nice, i could just inhale your scent non-stop." you keep on complimenting, praising him. his legs are trembling already, he's fighting to not close his eyes or throw his head back in pleasure. he can't even keep his noises down, whimpers and whines echoing in the room every five seconds.

"god, you're so perfect, i just can't believe i'm holding you right now... you're so unreal. you deserve the whole world and i'm gonna make sure you know how loved you are." his hand moves much faster, you can see the tears gathering in his eyes.

"wanna- wanna cum... please, i- can i- oh god..." he mumbles, tears starting to stream down his cheeks.

"hey, hey, shh, no need to ask me... go on, cum for me, let me know how good you're making yourself feel. my pretty boy, the prettiest, crying because he feels oh so good..." you say, your voice as gentle as possible.

soon he sobs out loud as he cums. his cock twitching, going up and down by itself until he shoots the last drop of sperm...

"oh baby, are my words enough to make you cum that much? you're so cute..." you say, turning his head and kissing him softly on the lips. "you did so good for me, i'm proud of you." you say as he just looks at you with fucked up expression and teary eyes.

#hueningkai hard thoughts #hueningkai hard hours #hueningkai smut #hueningkai x male reader #hueningkai x reader #hyuka hard thoughts #hyuka hard hours #hyuka smut #hyuka x reader #hyuka x male reader #txt hard thoughts #txt hard hours #txt smut #sub!hueningkai #sub!hyuka #sub!txt

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sunoooism · 1 year ago

Text

› summary : what txt do when you're feeling sad ! (separately)

› fluff , comfort / wc: 691

› warnings : mentions of sadness, little bit of crying, a few kisses, hand holding, not proofread, gn!reader. muias writing comeback ?? 😓 literally praying this shows up in tags caused it's queued. ALSO, I WILL NOT HAVE ANY PORRIDGE SLANDER.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ⊹

choi yeonjun

→ cooks for you

you sniffle as yeonjun places a bowl of porridge in front of you, wiping your watery eyes with the ends of your knitted jumper. "thanks, 'jun."

"of course, pretty." he smiles, leaning down to dab at your damp cheeks. you let him do it for you, his touch so delicate, as though he thought you'd crack without it. he finished his ministrations with a tender kiss to your puffy cheek.

"'m gonna get some jam for your porridge."

your face lights up a little. "raspberry ?"

you can hear yeonjun chuckle as he rummages around your cupboards, fetching an unopened jar of jam before he makes his way back to you and your steaming bowl of oats.

"duh, what else." his lips quirk up as he let a dollop of the sweet spread melt into your food.

choi soobin

→ takes you on a walk

you let out a yawn, the chilly air filling your lungs as you continued strolling down the narrow road with your boyfriend. his gloved hand was tightly clutching yours, making sure to keep you on the inside of the pathway and away from moving cars.

"you look so cute, all bundled up like that." soobin chuckles, staring down at you with his scarf and earmuffs practically swallowing you whole. and a fluffy coat that fell past your knees just like he insisted.

"I really think you should have worn gloves like I said..."

"binnie, I'm fine, I promise." you smile lovingly, leaning against his side as he kept your hands warm in his. with him, you already felt better and your heart a little lighter.

choi beomgyu

→ tries to cheer you up with his jokes

"what ? you didn't think that one was funny ?"

he's grinning, and you're trying your absolute hardest not to as well. your hardest wasn't enough though, apparently.

as soon as Beomgyu sees your lips quirk up —even if it's the smallest smile to ever exist— he's wrapping you in his arms and squeezing tightly.

"ah, see ! you do think I'm funny !"

it's not even the joke itself that makes you laugh. his smile is contagious, and even if you wanted to stay sad and wallow in self pity some more you couldn't, he wouldn't let you.

"mmm, maybe a little..." your arms slip around his waist, squeezing him back as you sigh contently into his warmth.

kang taehyun

→ reads to you

you gazed up at taehyun as your head rested on his chest. just simply admiring him while he read to you. his voice was gentle and soft, adoring brown eyes flicking across the page. you had always loved when he'd read to you, especially when you were feeling down. he always managed to help.

he stole a quick glance at you, wondering if you'd maybe fallen asleep because of your stillness and silence. but when he caught you staring he let a small smile stretch out on his lips.

"do I have somethin' on my face ?" taehyun chuckles, placing a thumb in-between the pages of the book so as to not lose his place. you smile in return and brought a hand up to the hair which framed his face, tucking it away from his eyes and behind his ear.

"no. jus' wanted to look at you."

he grins, pressing a chaste kiss to the tip of your nose before continuing to read to you.

huening kai

→ doesn't let go of you

your room was blanketed with darkness, soft breaths and whispers of sweet nothings filled your head. the gentle scent of kai's cologne wafted around the cozy room. your boyfriend had you pressed against his chest, and he made sure to keep you close when he tangled his legs with yours.

"are you feeling a bit better ?" he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he let his thumb draw circles on your lower back. you hum at the soothing action, sighing contently into his chest.

"mhm, 'm feelin' a little better. thank you, hyuka."

kai smiles and presses a warm kiss to the top of your head, pulling you even closer until your nose was pressed into the juncture of his neck. the two of you lay there with one another in a comfortable silence, exchanging tender and chaste kisses as the melancholic feeling faded from your body.

©sunoooism

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hueningholic · 4 days ago

Note

can we get some dom!hyuka pls and thanks? 🙏🏻 with lots of dirty talk 👀

oh you have no idea how happy i am to get this ask 🙏🙏 i love me some huening kai. admin fact: this man is my (second) ult (after jeonghan of seventeen, yum.) dom!hyuka is just about my favorite thing to indulge in so of course!!

MDNI

content below contains: dom!hyuka, bf!hyuka, petnames (princess, baby), praising, bit of a size kink, breeding (wear protection!), pervy huening kai, some fluff

kai was playing video games all day. he insisted that his nintendo game needed to be finished to completion before he turned it off, and you sat to the side pouting.

he’d smile at you every now and then�� wanting to let you know he felt your presence even through his concentration. though, that concentration quickly diminished into frustration once every one of his levels started to go wrong.

when you started to laugh at him, it only worsened. he was whining at you to stop, asking you to even leave the room. he couldn’t place a finger on why you were acting so naughty. but he was ready to snap.

it was a bit of a rare occurrence to see him be so dominant, yet here he was, having you pinned down to the couch as he looked at you with nothing but a gaze that could devour you. “so frustrated, baby.. gonna take it out on you.”

all you could do was blush and nod, completely speechless that he had you in this position. you were still convinced he’d end up below you by the time this was over.

oh, but you were so wrong— his nails dug into your hips as he pounded into you in missionary, one hand remaining at your side as the other kneaded and slapped one of your bouncing tits. you yelped with almost every thrust, kai being so big that your walls were adjusting to him still— even though you two have fucked more than several times before.

“taking me so well.. can’t get enough of your pretty little noises.” his voice was breathy and rough, fastening the pace of his thrusts as they started to become sloppier.

“feels s’good, kai..” you whimpered, drool dropping down your chin from how fucked out your brain was. “that’s right, was this what you wanted, hm? my princess was so pouty because she needed some dick?” he mocked with a soft laugh, gripping tighter onto you.

“yes, fuck— yes..” your hips unintentionally rocked into his now, chasing your high from how good you felt. kai just kept smiling at you, his hand returning back to your breast to roll your nipple between his fingers, causing you to whine and squirm under his touch. “so reactive.. beautiful body is all mine.”

his thrusts grew even sloppier, his own moans and grunts becoming sporadic. if there was one thing that wouldn’t change in any position he was in, it was how noisy he was— he needed you to know he good he felt because of you. also, because he is just so sensitive.

kai groaned as his hips moved more rhythmically, leaning down to leave a trail of love bites down your neck. “couldn’t stop staring at your thighs when you were only in my hoodie, y’know. they belong around me.” kai whispered breathily into your ear, your cheeks flushing darker from his confession.

“all of me belongs to you.” you practically cried out, gripping onto his strong arms as his tip started to abuse your sweet spot. kai started to sweat, forehead pressing against yours as he panted from how much stamina he was using to relentlessly have you the way he wanted you.

“damn right, princess. you’re all mine.. mine to play with, mine to kiss, every part of you is mine.” he rambled mindlessly, losing his control as his cock started to throb inside your wet heat. he was so close, but he wouldn’t cum without you cumming, too.

“need you to be a good girl and cream on my cock for me, can you do that?” he asked almost politely, the fake innocence in his tone driving you insane. his hand that was once on your breast slipping down to your clit, two fingers rubbing fast circles onto the sensitive nub as your back arched.

“kai! kai too much!” you wailed, legs starting to shake from the stimulation of his powerful thrusts and magical handwork. he laughed again, brushing against yours. “i told you to cum, baby. let go for me.”

just like that, you were clamping his cock, cumming so hard around it as he cooed into the shell of your ear. “so good.. so fucking good. milking my cock.”

he moved back slightly, both hands grabbing your hips to deliver a few more cruel thrusts to your box before he was coming undone, letting out a sound that was so guttural and lewd that it had you moaning at it. “filling me up..” you whined to him breathlessly, and he frantically nodded.

kai collapsed on top of you gently, embracing you in a loving cuddle as he kept his cock buried deep inside of your cunt. he’d cockwarm you all day if he could, seriously. “you’re amazing, y/n. you look so cute beneath me, i think i’ll top more.” he mumbled into the crook of your neck before leaving a kiss against your skin.

your blush remained as you pet his hair. “would let you.. never felt you fuck me so hard before.” you admitted your shock, and he smirked. “mm. more where that came from, princess. if you keep talking like that, i might have to show you.” kai raised his head to meet your eyes, and you both laughed before his lips took yours in a passionate kiss.

#txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt smut #huening kai smut #huening kai hard thoughts #huening kai hard hours #hyuka hard thoughts #hyuka smut #hyuka hard hours #hyuka x reader #i love this man

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hyukalyptus · 9 months ago

Text

or else what? —hueningkai x fem!reader | enemies to enemies with benefits(?). NSFW/MDNI!

cw. mean dom!kai, reader and kai are mean to each other, feat. soob and yj and their partners for a very short amount of time (not in smut part tho), camping, reader is a type A boss bitch kinda person, mentions of rain, kissing, hair pulling, mean names (slut, stupid, dumb, loser), pet names (baby), sex, light restraining, ruined orgasms, biting, nipple play, some dacryphilia, maybe a lil bit of publicness? (theyre at a campsite but implied no one else can hear anything), creampie, reader is embarrassed that she did stuff w kai and tells him, reader has a dog, reader is good at video games, chubby!reader implied, lmk if i missed anything! notes. im usually not one for mean stuff, im way more of a softie, so i tried something new but im quite nervous about it. oh! and this is based off a thought i posted the other week. lmk what ya think ;) smut under cut. wc. 4.1K

“Why are you being nice to him?” You snap at your dog who is currently greeting your friends at your front door. Normally, you wouldn’t mind, of course, but they have taken a particular liking for Kai. Apparently, you’re the only person in the world that hates him. Kai that is. The constant laughing, the sickeningly sweet optimism, and his sheer humility—it all screams fake to you.

You hate every little thing about him and he hates you right back. The way you disagree with everything he says just because, how you’re always pointing out when he’s wrong, how you seem to be depressingly pessimistic. You put up with each other for the sake of your friends—not everyone in every friend group has to get along, right?

“Nice to see you too.”

“Someone separate them please?” Soobin asks. “I can’t deal with another argument right now.” He rubs his temple out of caution.

Everyone’s over for a game night—Soobin, his partner, River, as well as Yeonjun, and your best friend, Sage, who has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with him since they met. Right now, they’re off, but definitely still friendly.

“How about some Smash Bros?”

“No,” you say to Kai. “Mario Kart.”

“River and I have been talking about playing Smash Bros all day.”

“Not my problem.”

“How about we take a vote?” He suggests. You reluctantly agree, watching as you’re the only one that raises your hand to play Mario Kart before you glare at Sage, guilting them into voting for it too. Regardless of their vote, though, it’s still four against two. Kai sticks out his tongue at you just to rub it in your face. God, you hate it when he wins.

“Maybe you should stop pouting,” Sage says, nudging your shoulder. “Beat him in the next round. You know you’re better than anyone here.” You take the opportunity to easily—and quickly—beat Kai in a one-on-one match. Now it’s his turn to pout while he grabs a snack.

Luckily, everyone makes it through the night without any blood or tears shed but when the group’s annual camping trip comes up, the cold weather mixed with the prolonged close proximity to people leads to a grumpy Kai arguing with an even grumpier you.

The reason behind the initial argument is long forgotten—you’re seemingly arguing over anything and everything from you stopping too often to take pictures to him taking sips from your water bottle, which he insists was an accident. Everyone’s keeping you two as far apart from each other as possible, with him leading the pack and you bringing up the rear.

“It looks like it’s gonna rain soon,” River points out. “We should probably set up camp.” Everyone agrees, setting sights for the campsite.

“What do you think about this spot over here, Sage?” You ask but are immediately answered with the guiltiest look from them, eyes glancing between you and Yeonjun. “Don’t tell me.” You roll your eyes for what feels like the millionth time that day. “You’re back together?” You ask quietly.

“Please don’t be mad,” they say. “It’s going really well this time.”

“I didn’t bring another tent.”

“Kai’s tent is huge,” Sage says, loud enough for Kai to hear, as if they’re making a suggestion to him. “Can she stay with you?”

“I thought Yeonjun was sleeping in my tent.”

“I was gonna stay in Sage’s,” Yeonjun responds, with an attempted wink. Everyone looks between each other, dodging each other’s eyes, no one wanting to give in. Everyone’s desperate to stay with their partners but you and Kai are desperate to not spend a single second alone together. Soobin and River won’t budge. Sage’s pleading eyes looking at you added to the pleading eyes Yeonjun sends Kai, you look at each other before he finally agrees—

“Fine,” Kai says, dropping the poles to the ground. “You gotta finish setting it up though. I’m gonna go get some water and refill the cooler with ice,” he says, leaving you with an impossible task. There’s a reason you didn’t bring your own tent.

Struggling with the tent for at least thirty minutes, it’s even less put together than when Kai turned the task over to you. The two couples have snuggled into their tents for the night and the drizzle is quickly turning into a downpour. Soaked, cold, and annoyed, Kai’s making his way back to you, anger etched all over his face when he doesn’t have a dry tent to walk into.

“Do you not know how to put a tent up?”

“No, actually I don’t.”

“I could’ve set up three tents by now,” he says, but doesn’t have time to be much madder—he’s gotta get a roof over his own head. Without speaking, he takes over completely, getting it up in about ten minutes. It would’ve been quicker if he didn’t have to work in the rain.

Settling in, you try to dry the parts of the interior that got wet from the rain, but it doesn’t help much. He peels off his now-soaked shirt and searches for a dry one.

“Ah, that was my last t-shirt.”

“I’m sorry. I tried—”

“I don’t care,” he stops you, holding his hand up.

Falling silent, you change the subject, “What took you so long anyway?”

“I was talking to someone at the ice machine for a while,” he says matter-of-factly, holding up his laptop. “Wanna watch a movie before bed?”

“No.” You lay your head on the stupid camping pillow hoping for some rest. But your plan is disrupted by the blaring trumpets of a movie intro. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Watching a movie.”

“Turn it off.”

“I didn’t ask for permission to watch it,” he points out. “I asked if you wanted to join me.”

“Isn’t it gonna bother the other campers?”

“Doubt they can hear it.”

Frustrated, you roll over and cover your ears. You thought you could sleep through anything, especially with the rain pouring outside, but you were wrong. Eventually, you give up, throwing your pillow down and slamming his laptop shut.

“What are you doing? You asshole—” he snaps, glaring at you.

“Me? You’re the ass for not letting me sleep,” you fire back, narrowing your eyes.

“I wasn’t supposed to have you in here anyway,” he mutters.

“I’m not an asshole,” you say defensively.

“Yes, you are,” he spits. “You always have to have it your way.”

“I’m not having this argument with you,” you say, turning away and trying to block out his escalating anger. You pull the thin camping blanket over your head, desperate for some peace.

He huffs, clearly frustrated, but you ignore it. The sound of rain tapping against the tent becomes your only solace. Minutes pass in silence, each second stretching longer than the last. You can feel his restless energy beside you, the tension almost palpable.

“I can't believe you. You're so annoying,” he says.

You simply lay there, trying to block out the muttering under his breath. The stickiness of the damp sleeping bags and the cold camping pillow are ridiculously uncomfortable.

Remembering the clean, dry blankets you have stored in the trunk of your car for emergencies and you get up to grab them silently, ignoring his insults. Returning with them, his eyes light up and he asks, “Where did you get those?”

“My car,” you answer nonchalantly, setting up your new bed. You try to salvage what you can of the sleeping bag to have some kind of barrier between the damp tent floor and your blanket, but it’s not perfect. Eventually settling on the makeshift bed, you can feel Kai staring at you through your closed eyelids. “Can I help you?” You ask without opening them.

“Aren’t you gonna share those with me?”

“Why would I?”

“You’re the one that got our other blankets and the tent all wet.”

“Not my fault you didn’t bring back-up.”

He exasperates, clearly done with you and all your…what does he call it? Selfish nonsense? “I can’t believe I have to share a tent with you. And you get it all wet in here and won’t even share the dry blankets with me?”

“You think I'm happy about this either?" Your arms flail before you go on one of your famous rants. “I don’t even like camping but I come along with Sage because they’re my best friend and I was looking forward to spending time alone with them to talk but because they decided to start fucking Yeonjun again I have to sleep in a tent with you, which you make me put together even though I don’t know how to put it together so its disgusting in here and you expect me to share my blankets with you? You’re never nice to me why the fuck would I share them with you? You’re always making me look like a bitch in front of everyone when I know you’re just—”

Kai suddenly yanks you by your elbow and says, “Would you please just shut up?”

Seeing him this mad…you don’t know if he’s ever looked like this. Red in the face, eyebrows furrowed, not to mention he’s still shirtless since all his clothes are soaked. You look over his body—you’ve never seen him before—and you realize just how muscular he is. Broad-shouldered, defined pecs and ripples in his arms, particularly the one gripping you so harshly.

You smirk at him before saying, “Make me." Looking over your face, he doesn’t know what comes over him. Maybe it's anger or frustration or the ambiance from the sound of rain against the tent and the small camping lamp, but he can’t help it.

Crashing his lips into yours, you’re taken by surprise. You feel the power his plush lips give off, but only for a second before you push him off.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I don’t–I don’t know, I, uh…” He stutters, trying to find something—anything—to say, but no luck. Looking at each other, something clicks like we need to have each other now.

You pull him to you by cupping his cheeks and crashing your lips into his quickly, eagerly, desperately. Hands in his hair, his on your hips, he squeezes your chubby thighs, wanting more, but—

“Woah, woah, woah, what’s happening? You and I are making out?” He asks, shock etched across his face as his eyebrows furrow.

“Well, not anymore.” You look at him confused. “Did you forget you’re the one that kissed me first?”

“That was just so you’d shut up.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want me. I see you staring at my tits all the time.” You smirk at him and his eyes shift, admitting guilt. Realization hits you. “...Is that why you’re such an ass to me? Because you’re sexually frustrated whenever you’re around me? Do you…like me?”

“No,” he says defensively. “I hate you actually. You’re so annoying.” He rolls his eyes. “But the most annoying part about you is how much I wanna fuck you.” Your eyes widen, but a smile slowly spreads across his face before he asks, “Is that why you’re such an ass to me?” Leaning in closer, he examines your face, looking for any sign of weakness. “It is, isn’t it?” You shake your head. “Say it.”

“Kai.”

“I wanna hear you say you want me.”

The quickest, most disingenuous, “I want you,” comes out of your mouth. Did you really just say that? It’s not like you haven’t noticed how handsome he’d gotten recently, but it’s also not like you’ve ever thought about doing anything. Before tonight, the thought of him even touching you made your skin crawl. But right now, you don’t think you’ve ever wanted anyone more. Reaching for him, you add, “Now shut up and fuck me.”

Still shirtless from when he peeled off the wet fabric a few minutes ago, he tugs at the hem of your tank top. Slipping it off you, his eyebrows raise at your bare chest—full and needing to be squeezed, which he does immediately. Your nipples perky and hard from arousal and the cool air are simply begging to be sucked. His warm, welcoming and wet lips wrapped around one elicit a sound from you that you hope is covered by the rain outside.

The others would never let you live it down if they heard you two fucking.

Mouths all over—his on your nipples and your collarbone, yours on his mouth and his shoulders—it’s a whirlwind of kisses and pure lust.

“I hate you,” you murmur, adding a nice hair tug for good measure.

“I hate you too,” he responds. “So much.” The tent, damp from the rain and hot breath warms you up, skin slick with a sheen of sweat. Sleeping bags and blankets ruffle underneath your bodies as you rush to undress each other fully. “You’re so fucking stupid,” he says against your ear. “Don’t even know how to put up a tent. Need my help for everything?”

“You’ve never been any help to me,” you respond. “Plus, we wouldn’t have gotten rained on so much if you didn’t get lost leading everyone. Need your phone for everything? Can’t even handle one short hike? Good for nothing,” you spit. “Except…you’re kind of a good kisser.”

“Wish I could say the same about you.”

“Don’t lie,” you smirk. “I’m an incredible kisser.” He may roll his eyes but he heads straight back for more. “But you’re taking too long. Hurry up,” you say between kisses. Grazing his hand down your hip, he slides two fingers between your pussy lips and—

“You’re that wet for me and I’ve barely even touched you? Desperate slut.” You grab his cock, making him jerk forward, his mouth dropping open.

“You’re already that hard and I’ve barely even touched you? Horny loser.” Without warning, he lines himself up at your entrance and shoves his cock inside you, forcing a yelp from your throat.

Covering your mouth, he leans down, gracing his lips over your earlobe before whispering, “You never shut the fuck up, do you?” And he’s relentless. Fucking you fast and hard, whispering mean, dirty shit in your ear, shivers rolling down your spine at every syllable. “You don’t deserve to feel this good.”

“And you think you deserve this pussy?” You fire right back. Although, he does seem to be winning with the sheer amount of moaning coming from your mouth compared to his controlled sounds and expert movements. You try your best to compose yourself before saying, “A dumb fuck like you doesn’t deserve to even touch my skin.”

“Is that why you gasp when I pinch your nipples?” He asks. You narrow your eyes at him. But he definitely proves himself right. Rolling your nipple between his pointer finger and thumb, basking in the chills it gives you, clearly sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body. You reach to touch his broad chest but he stops you. “Nuh-uh. Hands to yourself,” he says, gripping your wrists harshly and pinning them to the ground.

Suddenly, you’ve never wanted to touch someone more in your life. The way his skin glistens, muscles looking so strong, a bead of sweat drips between his pecs and you swear you clit twitches. Honestly, you’re in shock. What do you usually do with your hands? Since when has he been like this? An absolute slut? A mean slut at that. But you love it.

Your hands stay at your side after he moves to squeeze your body again but you can’t help but reach up—you’re desperate to touch him. He halts, lifting his fingers off your tits.

“Every time you try to touch me without permission, I’ll stop touching you,” he says. You surrender, putting your hands under your back. “Good girl.”

Fuck. That felt nice too. Being degraded is one thing, but getting rewarded for following directions? That’s delicious. Heat rushes to your ears.

“Please—”

“Ah,” he places his pointer finger over your lips. “I told you to shut up, didn’t I?” You make a show of keeping your mouth closed. “You learn so fast, hm?” You smile—a genuine giddy smile. “So cute,” he whispers, placing a thumb on your clit, circling it gently.

But when a weak little, “Fuck,” slips out of your mouth, he stops.

“Did I say you could speak?” You shake your head. Running a thumb across the apple of your cheek, he gives you a look somewhere between my pathetic little slut and you’re being such a good girl for me.

Keeping your mouth shut, your body is in complete bliss, succumbing to the overwhelming pleasure his cock and hands are giving you. You’re positively drunk on his cock, letting him do whatever he wants to you—touch you here, lick and bite you there, kiss on this, suck on that—not only to be his good little slut, but because it feels fucking incredible. He knows what he’s doing, you’ll give him that.

Then you feel it, your orgasm is slowly approaching, every move he makes pushes you closer and closer to the edge. And he knows it. The little whimpers you make, trying to hold back. The twitches your clit makes. The pulses of your pussy.

“Aw,” he starts condescendingly. “Is my good little slut gonna come for me?” You nod rapidly, being sure to keep your mouth shut and movements under control. The last thing you want right now is a punishment. Or maybe it’s the thing you want most? The lines are too blurred to tell. “Say it.”

You can barely mumble it, but you manage to croak out, “You’re gonna make me come, Kai.”

“Good girl.” He doesn’t change a single thing. It creeps closer and closer until you can feel your body start to tip over. And then he does something…expected? Surprising? Honestly, you’re not so sure anymore. He stops, your orgasm so close to crashing over you, ruined by this son of a bitch.

Tears form in your eyes. Was he really doing this to you? This annoying, stupid fucking jerk you’ve hated for years making you cry over his cock?

“That’s for being such a goddamn nuisance since the day I met you.”

What do you do now? Be a jerk to him? Overpower him and pin him down? Sit there like a hole needing to be fucked? You decide to go for the last option, hoping he’ll make you come as fast as he can. Although, truthfully, you feel like one swipe across your clit would make you finish you at this point.

“Tell me you don’t deserve me.” You keep your mouth shut. Gently wrapping his fingers around your throat, you stare at his eyes. He chuckles like he’s proud of you before he says, “You may speak.”

“I don’t deserve you.” He squeezes harder, almost like he’s saying that’s not enough. “I don’t deserve to feel this good. I don’t deserve your cock. I don’t deserve…anything.”

“Good girl.” He loosens his grip around your throat. He’s done with his fun now. The ache in both of your bodies is getting unbearable and he’s determined to make you come first. Which he supposes he already did, despite ruining it for you. But he’s gotta get you back to that place before he gets there first.

Returning to the hard and fast pace of fucking you like he was a few minutes ago, his cock slams in and out and out of your pussy, ripples running down your thighs, ass, tits, everywhere. He stares in awe of your perfect tits bouncing in rhythm with his thrusts.

Your mouth opens and closes like you want to say something, but if you speak without permission, he may stop. You decide to take a chance anyway.

“Kai…” you squeak out through the rough movements. He responds with a sweet yet sinister smile that says you may speak. “You are gonna let me come, right?”

His eyebrows furrow, face full of pity. He asks, “You think I should?”

“You better or I’ll…” You trail off.

“You’ll what?” He stops moving, therefore earning a pathetic whine from you, trying to protest without words. “What are you gonna do to me?”

Now what’s a good punishment for him? Clearly, he’s used to being the one punishing his sexual partners—you wonder how his other subs have dealt with him being a jerk. You don’t want to overpower him like you thought you did. There’s something about being pinned down like this, letting him do whatever he wants, not having to move an inch. You’re such a powerful woman everywhere else—the type A personality type, which you admit can get overwhelmingly exhausting.

Letting someone take full control over you like this—it’s relaxing. You wonder how much he’s enjoying himself but you notice the way his eyes flutter when you simply tighten your pussy around his cock, how he hasn’t stopped touching you since you finally let him, hell, he kissed you first. Of course he’s enjoying this. And bingo—you’ve got just enough control to get what you want.

“I’ll never let you fuck me like this again.”

Narrowing his eyes at you, it's like he knows that you caught him in the act of something. Cocking his head to the side, he asks, “We can’t let that happen, now can we?”

Somehow, the energy shifts to be even more desperate. Taking out years and years of frustration from hating each other while simultaneously wanting to have sex. Fucking as fast as your bodies will let you, the tent fills with the absolutely obscene noises coming from your mouths. The only reason you aren’t holding back is because the rain beating against the plastic tent and the occasional thunder thankfully covers most of it.

When one of his thumbs finds your clit, you feel like you’re floating. The air falls out of your lungs, pleasure taking over your body as you relax into your orgasm. You’re drunk, high on his cock and the only thing you’re seeing are stars and that stupid smirk plastered across his face. It rips through your body like lightning, shooting out your toes and fingertips.

“Talk to me,” he says breathlessly in your ear. But you can’t. You can only manage strangled noises to let him know you’re having an incredible orgasm.

Coming down from your high, though, you finally say, “Fuck, that felt so good.”

“Tell me how good.”

“You made me feel so…so fucking good, Kai,” you say, shaking your head, unsure of what else to tell him. Call it post-nut clarity, but why the hell were you having sex with him again? Honestly, who cares? He’s actually pretty hot and he’s damn good at this too. What happens after this? Enemies with benefits? Never mention it again? You make a note to come back to this with him later. But right now, you need to get to the matter at hand. “Why don’t you tell me how good I feel?”

“Oh baby, you feel so good,” he says. “Your pussy might be the only thing I like about you.” He chuckles, his mouth dropping open, undeniably close to his own orgasm. “Well, maybe your pussy and your tits.” Burying his face between them, he bites down on the plush, groaning against your skin.

“I need you to come inside me, Kai. Please.”

“Keep talking to me like that.”

And you do. Giving him praise, touching him in all the right places, putting on a show for him. With a few final thrusts, he groans, whispering something you don’t catch, but you feel it. Him coming inside you with a sexy groan, covering your chest in the sloppiest of kisses and bites.

Catching his breath, he whispers breathlessly, “Damn. That was good.” Sliding out of you, an awkwardness catches up with the two of you. You push yourself up on your elbows, attempting to gather your thoughts. His eyes are still dark with desire as he looks at you with a satisfied smirk.

“Listen,” you say, covering your chest with your blanket. “This can’t happen again.” His smile drops.

“What?”

“The fact that we did that,” you gesture between the two of you, “never leaves this tent, you hear me?” Cocking his head to the side, he nods awkwardly. “No one can find out about this. God, I’d be so embarrassed. Let’s just…get some sleep.”

Did you forget about what he said?

Or I’ll never let you fuck my like this again. Using that as a threat if he didn’t let you come meant you wanted to do it again, no? Slowly putting on his boxers again, he agrees, turning away from you to try and get some sleep but, all of a sudden, there’s too much on his mind.

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bee-the-loser-recs · 9 months ago

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~✩ My Huening Kai One-shot Fic Recs ✩~

★ Apple Cider By @wave2tyun 3.5k, childhood friends to lovers, very fluffy, piano prodigy Kai, school au, slight injury

★ Policy of truth and lies By @wave2tyun 3.3k, high school au, band!TXT, brother's best friend trope, Soobin is reader's brother, hidden relationship, sneaking around, fluff, getting caught, a bit suggestive

★ #Kai when he can't control his strength By @majestyjun NSFW, straight up smut, shower sex, established relationship, hard thoughts

★ Rose gold By @beomanamilk Drabble, established relationship, watching the sunset, cuddling on a blanket, affirmations of love & trust, fluff, really cute

★ Know your place. By @koqabear 3.9k, established relationship, smut, jealousy, alcohol, being incredibly aware of interactions, exhibitionism (rest of txt is there)

★ Wish me luck? By @koqabear 6.2k, Taehyun x reader x Huening Kai, idol au, make up artist reader, mentions of the other members, smut, slight fluff, part of a mini rockstar series

★ Falsies By @forlovvers 500, established relationship, sleepy Kai, fluff, taking off fake lashes, Kai is slightly scared of them, really cute

★ Advantage By @huexuri Roommates au, mentions of attempts to play piano, smut, slight fluff, changing up the dynamic, friends to lovers

★ How it's done By @huexuri Established relationship, sharing a bed, smut, slight fluff, mentions of sleeping better next to Kai

★ Perfect man By @txtaetertots 4k, friends to lovers, reader works at the cafe in Hybe, pining Kai, everyone sees his crush, reader is older than Kai, flirting, having to be more forward

★ A bed in your shape & A life in your eyes By @jjunieworld 1.4k & 7k, ex-friends to lovers, angst, childhood best friends, past feelings, Kai has a toxic ex, reader dated Taehyun for a little bit, parties, smut, slight fluff, kind of asshole Kai, slice of life

★ Spin the bottle By @jjunieworld 1.4k, college au, college parties, strangers to ??, fluff, alcohol and drinking, inexperienced reader & Kai, introvert/wallflower reader, playing Spin the bottle

★ Two best friends in a room By @beomgyuslilracha 7k, non-idol au, best friends to lovers, really affectionate friends, fluff, cluelessly in love idiots, slight angst, cute, mentions of drinking, childhood friends

★ TXT!staff imagine - Huening Kai By @beomgyuslilracha 1.1k, slice of life, reader works with TXT, having to move back to your old job, slight angst, fluff, strong friendship, friends to lovers, turning plushies around to kiss

★ Busy signal & Fit check & Wake up call By @biteyoubiteme 4.7k & 3k & 1.39k, Yeonjun x reader x Kai, established relationship, polyamorous, smut, slight fluff, suggestive photos, trying on outfits, gifts from a partner, being woken up after a night out, slight tipsiness

★ Yeonjun exposes y/n’s crush on kai in the groupchat By @wooyukh SMAU, mutual crushes, meddling friends, exposing a friend's crush, trying to hide feelings, teasing, cute, all the members being aware of reader's feelings

★ Kai and his idol gf By @jjunberry Drabble, established relationship, public relationship, idols in love, Kai being a big stan of your group, talking about them during a live

★ Just a neighbour & Cry for me By @dearlyjun 2.7k & 1.6k, hot neighbour Kai, getting over a break up, hooking up, smut, slight fluff, making out, kind of fwb relationship, wearing his clothes, more of an established relationship in part two

★ Fratboy Huening Kai By @rainbowhao Headcanons, slightly dumb Kai, forward reader, flirting, teasing, complimenting one another, spending the night in his room, sweet, fluff

★ Into you By @beomnoullistheorem 3k, hooking-up, having real feelings for one another, wanting to develop the relationship, hook-up to lovers, smut, slight fluff

★ Stars on windows By @stars4ni 1.9k, established relationship, road trip, buying snacks, gas station, suggestiveness, smut, slight fluff, cute

★ Make it fit By @jeongin-lvr 1.15k, established relationship, straight up smut, needy reader & Kai, implied first time together

#bee's recs #bee's navigation #txt fic recs #txt fics #txt x reader #txt imagines #txt fluff #txt smut #txt smau #tomorrow x together imagines #huening kai x reader #huening kai x you #huening kai fluff #huening kai smut #huening kai imagines #hyuka x reader #hyuka smut #hyuka txt #huening kai fanfic

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hueshy · 8 months ago

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pair: hueningkai x f! reader

warnings: drinking, reader is kind of stupid, overthinking, not proofread.. thats all, if i missed one or two lmk

genres: fluff, reader gets cute aggression because of kai, bad angst cause i don't know how to write it

you and the members are doing your daily hangout on fridays, playing videogames and laugh at the one who lost, drink until nobody knows where they are or what they’re talking about.

but today, something feels off

every one is bickering as usual but kai, you couldn’t help but notice at the way he's unusually quiet. hiding his mouth with his sweaterpaws, shy, quiet responses while his cheeks are naturally colored

dear god

you couldn’t take your eyes off of him, biting your lip whenever he speaks and pinching the pillow on your lap when his bangs slightly cover his eyes. ever since you sat on this couch you had the strongest desire to hug him tightly while you squealed on how adorable he is

if you did just that, he wouldn’t be weirded out right? he would receive the hug happily and giggle along with you, you think

soobin has noticed you staring at kai for awhile now, giggling on how mesmerized you look at the sight of kai and also how obvious you are, obvious to everyone but kai himself.

he approaches you and says,

“you’re clear as a crystal you know,” you hear a deep voice next to you, it’s soobin, you stare at him like he has grown two heads “what do you mean?”

he stares at kai who’s sat in the couch playing games with beomgyu then back at you, “do you like him?”

“…what?” he shrugs, “just curious”

you scoff and playfully roll your eyes, slowly mouthing a ‘no’ before going back to the couch to sit next to kai “who’s winning?” asking the two but eyes only looking at him. kai suddenly goes silent, you furrow your eyebrows and open your mouth to voice your worry but beomgyu beats you to it. “what’s wrong huening? why are you so suddenly quiet? you were so talkative just now" red cheeks, eyes staring down at the controller in his hands, everything but you, red ears.. oh? " don’t tell me—“ beomgyu looks at you for a second, “shut up!” “oh it is, isn’t it?” he teases, smirking. “what? what’s wrong? tell me!” you whine, desperate to know what’s up so suddenly.

“nothing! beomgyu-hyung is just being annoying” kai answers, irritated

you hum, furrowing your eyebrows once again, “is he really? c’mon tell me beomgyu!” as soon as you glare at him he nonchalantly shrugs, the dimple on his cheek appearing as he was smilling too hard

“ugh i was planning to share my chips with you beomgyu but not anymore traitor”

although he looked absolutely endearing when 'shy', you didn't like how quiet he is whenever you're around. he was practically ignoring you, but why? 'does he hate me now? what did i do? why is he barely speaking to me? we we're just fine 4 days ago..'

'is this the thing him and beomgyu didn't want to tell me? then why was beomgyu so chill and smilling about it?' negative thoughts ran through your mind back and forth, your heart starts to hurt.

"are you okay?" a soft, husky voice greets your ear, a whisper of an angel..

your dear friend, how could you forget he was next to you?

"i'm fine, not in the best mood" you hear a weak hum and a small, 'is that so?'

you continue watching the screen infront of you, you totally forgot you and the others were watching a movie but soon all of them fellasleep but you and kai

a finger taps your shoulder

"..would a hug from hueningie cheer you up?" he opens wide his arms while smiling softly, bangs now swept to the side, exposing his forehead, is this heaven?

the smile on his face fades seeing your hesitance, arms not as widespread as before

you feel horrible

you wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him, a sweet scent of vanilla drown your senses “..i’m sorry” he whispers into your ear, warm breath hits your cold skin, “it’s my fault right?” you nod against his shoulder, you gulp before saying “you hate me”

“no, no, you got it wrong! it’s just..” he whines and hides his face in your hair, your tummy fills up with butterflies at the action “i.. i recently figured out something, n-not something negative, well.. depends on how you take it” you feel his shaking fingers play with the ends of your hair

you stay in silence, waiting for him to speak up, you hear a shaky breath above you “i think i like you— no, i’m inlove with you, ..i, the way you make me feel, i didn’t know the exact name for it but now i do, y/n.. if you don’t feel the same way please—”

"you're not lying to me right?" kai's eyes widen "no of course not! i would never—" you take his face in your hands, closing the gap between you and him by bit, "then, would you kiss me?" he finds himself nodding uncontrollably, repeating 'yes' over and over again. "yes, yes.. would.. would you.. let me?" he stutters, you could feel the way his cheeks were burning hot, so cute, why would you say no?

"of course"

he kisses you, tangling his fingers on your hair and bringing you closer to him, he backs up for air then smashes his lips on yours

"you're so— desesperate to kiss me aren't you?" you laugh

"yes.. yes i think ive liked you for so long but i didn't realize until now” sighing he leans closer to you, foreheads kissing. “we.. are a couple now, right?” you hum and shrug after, “obviously, we just kissed”

“..good to know, question.. can we do it again?—“

"eww what the fuck! yn and kai are making out on my couch!" an annoying voice says behind you, you roll your eyes

“beomgyu!”

#huening kai x reader #hueningkai x y/n #hueningkai x you #hueningkai x reader #hyuka x reader #txt x reader #txt smau #txt x y/n #txt x you #hueningkai smau

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gyu-tori · 2 months ago

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Red Poppies | H.K

VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL | FLEUR DE DESTIN

Pairing: florist!hueningkai x fem!reader Genre: Soulmate AU, Fluff, Angst

Summary: When soulmates are found in dreams, your nights remain empty—until someone with a broken bond helps you search. As dreams clear, unexpected feelings emerge. Are soulmates really just predestined, or can fate change mid-course?

1/5 of the fleur de destin event!! See the full event here.

Word count: 14.2k

In a world where the concept of soulmates isn't a theory but an inevitable reality, the moment you turn 18, your dreams begin. That's when your soulmate appears, silently, waiting in the midst of your subconscious, pulling you into the world of shared dreams. It’s supposed to be magical—like a fate you can't escape, an inevitability that everyone else experiences.

Everyone else, except for you.

Every night, you wait, but the dreams never come. No warm, comforting figure stands before you in the half-light of slumber. No shared glances in the mist. The dreams everyone else describes, full of warmth and recognition, never materialize. You lie awake, staring at the ceiling, wondering what’s wrong with you. Your friends laugh about their experiences with their soulmates, speaking of a mysterious presence—someone they’ve never met, but already feel an unshakable connection to.

But for you? Nothing.

It’s as if you’re destined to walk through life alone. Everyone else gets a preview of their future, a glimpse of someone meant just for them, and yet you’re left with nothing but empty nights and a growing sense of isolation.

Questions begin to haunt you: Are soulmates real, or is it just a cruel trick of fate? Why do others get to experience something you can only dream of? The idea that there could be someone out there for you seems increasingly like a fantasy, an ideal too far-fetched to be believed.

Despite your doubts, there’s still a sliver of hope—something small, fragile, that perhaps one day your dream will come. But for now, it feels like it will never come true. You try to convince yourself that you’re fine without it, that the idea of a soulmate is overrated, but every empty dream reminds you otherwise.

The city is buzzing around you—crowds moving in all directions, the hum of traffic mixing with the distant murmur of conversation. You weave through the chaos, phone pressed to your ear, trying your best to pay attention to Jungwon’s frantic pleas.

“Please, please, I need you to help me with this!” Jungwon’s voice is filled with urgency, almost reaching a panicked pitch. “I’m seriously stuck. It’s for my girlfriend, you know? She loves flowers, but I can’t figure out which ones to get her. I was thinking, like, lilies or tulips? Wait, no—daisies! Or roses… or maybe something more unusual? I don’t know, man. Please, can you just check this one shop near you? It’s called Fleur de Destin. I swear they have the best flowers ever. I’ll pay you back after, I promise!! Just please, I really-”

You roll your eyes, but it’s all in good fun. Jungwon has always been like this—a bit too eager, a little too scatterbrained, but always with good intentions. You try to keep up with his rambling while your eyes scan the sidewalk for the shop.

“Wonnie, calm down!” you sigh, almost chuckling at his frantic energy. “I’m already on my way. I’ll figure it out, okay? Just give me a second.”

As you round the corner, you finally spot the sign you’re looking for: Fleur de Destin. The name alone makes you roll your eyes, almost scoffing at how ridiculous it is. Of course, it had to be soulmate-related—some flower shop with a fancy name designed to tug at the heartstrings of those obsessed with the idea of destiny.

“Right, right, thank you, thank you! You’re a lifesaver!” Jungwon’s voice rings with excitement, unaware of your thoughts. You roll your eyes, shaking your head as you push open the shop door.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m the best,” you mutter sarcastically, stepping inside the shop, your eyes scanning the colorful array of blooms on display. “So, what flowers did you want again?”

“Okay, so she likes lilies, but not the tiger kind. And tulips—oh, wait, maybe daisies would be better?” Jungwon continues, listing off flower after flower, each suggestion more irrelevant than the last.

You groan, struggling to keep track of his endless requests. “Jungwon, you’re literally saying every flower in existence,” you complain, glancing around the shop as you try to focus. “Just pick one, or I’m walking out with a cactus.”

Distracted and exasperated, you turn the corner, still holding the phone to your ear. And then, in a flash, it happens.

You bump directly into someone. A sharp jolt of surprise, followed by the sound of something crashing to the floor. You freeze, eyes widening in shock as a plethora of bright red petals tumbles from the stranger’s grasp and scatters across the floor.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!” you blurt out, immediately hanging up on Jungwon without thinking. You kneel down, trying to salvage what’s left of the bouquet as your heart races. “Were these for your soulmate? I totally ruined them, didn’t I?”

The boy you bumped into crouches down with surprising grace, gathering the scattered flowers with care. His expression is more amused than anything else, as he looks up at you with a hint of a smile.

“No, these weren’t for my soulmate. Don’t worry about it,” he replies, his voice warm and reassuring.

Still flustered, you hastily help him pick up the fallen blooms. “But I completely ruined them. They were so pretty. I’ll pay for them!” you insist, already digging for your wallet.

He shakes his head with a small grin. “It’s fine. I wasn’t selling these to anyone specific. I was just arranging them.”

You bite your lip, not entirely convinced. “Still,” you protest, glancing at the half-destroyed bouquet. “I feel bad. They were part of a bigger arrangement, right? I messed it up.”

He pauses, and then grins wider, his eyes twinkling with a mischievous spark. “Well… you’re not wrong. I’d have to redo the whole arrangement now to make it work. But that’s just more work for me, so…” He holds the flowers out to you, a playful gleam in his gaze. “How about you take these instead? It’d save me the trouble.”

You blink, unsure. “Wait, really? I can pay for them, you know?” You hold up your wallet, still feeling guilty.

He shrugs, unfazed. “Yeah. Think of it as a freebie. From the shop to you. Something like… I don’t know, a new customer gift. Besides, it’s not like I can put these back on display now.”

A reluctant laugh escapes you, and you accept the bouquet with a small smile, feeling a little better about the situation. “Thank you. I feel bad about taking them, but… thank you,” you say, the awkwardness slowly fading.

As you straighten up to leave, ready to escape the situation before you embarrass yourself further, he adds, almost casually, “By the way, I’m Hueningkai. I work here part-time.”

His name lingers in your mind as you step out of the shop, the bouquet of poppies tucked carefully in your arms. For a brief moment, you feel a soft warmth blooming in your chest, a flutter that you can’t quite explain. You shake your head, dismissing it. It’s probably nothing, right? Just some random guy at a flower shop.

But the way his eyes spark with that playful, easy smile… something about it lingers in your thoughts longer than you expect.

The cool air hits you as you step outside, the city noises slowly fading into the background. The bouquet of red poppies feels delicate in your hands, their bright petals a stark contrast against the grey streets around you.

You pull your phone from your pocket, the familiar vibration in your hand a reminder of the chaos you’ve temporarily escaped. It’s a text from Jungwon—naturally. You glance at the screen, and immediately, you feel a little twinge of guilt.

“Did you find the flowers? Please tell me you didn’t get a cactus.”

You stare at the message for a beat, the poppies in your hand almost mocking you with their vibrant color. You can’t help but think of the brief encounter with the boy at the flower shop, his grin still lingering in your thoughts.

You hesitate, fingers hovering over the keyboard. Should you tell him the truth? That the flowers were a gift, that you accidentally ran into the boy while trying to help him? But it feels… too complicated. After all, you can’t exactly tell Jungwon you’ve already messed up his entire shopping trip by getting sidetracked with some random guy, even if the poppies are beautiful.

So, instead, you settle on something simpler. A little white lie.

“They didn’t have any of the ones you wanted. Sorry!”

You press send before you can second-guess yourself, a tiny knot of discomfort twisting in your stomach. You know Jungwon will bombard you with questions if he suspects something’s off, but at the moment, it seems like the easiest way out.

Sure enough, his response is swift and dramatic. A string of emojis floods the screen. A skull, a broken heart, and a sad cat.

You roll your eyes, chuckling softly to yourself. Typical Jungwon. Of course, he’d react like this. It’s all part of the charm—his over-the-top reactions to every little inconvenience.

But as you walk home, the weight of the bouquet starts to feel a little heavier, the small lie weighing on you despite how harmless it seems. You glance down at the poppies again. Their vibrant red hue stands out against the dull, overcast sky, reminding you of the shop, of Hueningkai, and of the warmth in his smile that you can’t seem to shake.

The soft morning light filters through your window, bathing the room in pale gold, but it only serves to amplify the emptiness you feel. The warmth of the sunlight brushes against your skin, but it does little to chase away the chill that’s settled in your chest. You blink awake, eyes still heavy with sleep, the familiar ache of disappointment lingering like a dull, unshakable weight. Another night, another empty dream. It’s become a cruel routine—the restless hours that stretch into a blur, the fragile hopes that flicker like candlelight, only to be snuffed out when morning comes and the truth sinks in: no soulmate. Just silence. Just loneliness.

You lie motionless, staring at the ceiling, the stillness of the room a mirror to the heaviness in your heart. Each breath feels shallow, as though the air itself carries the burden of your unfulfilled longing. Your gaze traces the cracks in the plaster above, mind drifting back to last night and the quiet sorrow of yet another dreamless sleep. The hours had passed in a haze of restless tossing and turning, the emptiness pressing against your chest like an unwelcome visitor that refused to leave.

But then, like a spark igniting in the darkness, a memory surfaces—soft and vivid, cutting through the fog of your melancholy. The bouquet of poppies on your counter.

The bright red petals stand in stark contrast to the usual dull monotony of your mornings. You sit up and glance at the flowers again, a soft warmth blooming in your chest. Kai. You can’t shake the image of him—his warm smile, the way he hadn’t hesitated to give you the poppies, even when he probably should have asked for something in return. It’s funny how someone you barely know can make you feel so... seen, in a way. There was no judgment, no expectation, just a simple act of kindness that left you with more than just the flowers.

For a brief moment, the loneliness eases, replaced by a sense of comfort. A warmth you can’t quite place, something simple yet significant.

You decide, right then and there, that you should do something for him. It’s not much, just a small gesture to show your appreciation, but it feels like the right thing to do. Maybe it won’t change the emptiness that lingers in your heart, but at least for today, it feels like you’re taking a step toward something positive.

You make your way to a nearby café, the chilly air nipping at your cheeks as you walk, your hands cradling each other for warmth. The streets are quiet this early, the faint hum of the waking city blending with the soft rustle of leaves carried by the wind. Your breath fogs in front of you, each exhale a fleeting cloud that vanishes into the crisp morning air. The weight of your thoughts clings to you like the cold, but the gentle buzz of activity from the café’s glowing windows feels like a small reprieve from the solitude.

The bell above the door jingles softly as you step inside, warmth wrapping around you like a comforting embrace. The scent of freshly brewed coffee mingles with the faint sweetness of pastries, and for a moment, it’s easy to forget the unease stirring in your chest. You step up to the counter, scanning the chalkboard menu even though you already know what you’ll order. Two cups of coffee—one for yourself, and one for him.

When it’s your turn, the barista greets you with a cheerful smile, her pen poised to jot down your order. You give it to her, your voice soft but steady, and she begins ringing you up. But then comes the inevitable question, casual and routine: “What name should I put on this one?” She gestures to one of the cups, waiting for your answer.

You open your mouth to reply, but the words falter, sticking in your throat. What was his name again?

The thought comes with an unexpected rush of panic. You know his name—of course, you do. You’ve said it to yourself countless times in the quiet moments in your mind. But now, with the barista watching you expectantly, the letters twist and blur in your mind. Hueningkai. That’s right, isn’t it? But how do you spell it? Is it “H-u-e” or “H-e-u”? The uncertainty churns in your stomach, and your nerves suddenly feel much too raw for something so small.

Your cheeks burn, the silence stretching uncomfortably. You need to say something. Anything. Before you can overthink it further, you quickly blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. “Just… Kai. K-A-I.”

The barista nods with an easy smile, scribbling the name onto the cup. Her pen glides over the paper like it’s the simplest thing in the world, and you let out a quiet, shaky breath of relief. But the faint blush warming your face refuses to fade, a mix of embarrassment and something else you can’t quite name.

You step to the side to wait for your coffee, arms crossed as you try to shake off the lingering awkwardness. It’s just a name. It doesn’t have to be this complicated. People shorten names all the time, don’t they? It’s not a big deal. But no matter how much you tell yourself this, you can’t escape the strange weight that settles in your chest.

Because it does feel like a big deal. The simple act of ordering coffee for him feels far more significant than it should. It’s not just about the name or the cup; it’s about the connection, the bridge between what’s real and what still feels so dreamlike. It matters to you—more than you’d expected—and the thought of getting it wrong, of somehow lessening the meaning of this small gesture, gnaws at the edges of your mind.

Your fingers drum lightly against the counter as you wait, the soft hum of the café filling the quiet spaces in your thoughts. Why does this feel so important? You can’t quite explain it, even to yourself, but you know the answer lies somewhere in the way his name lingers on your tongue. It’s not just a name; it’s a piece of him. And that makes it impossible for you to treat it as anything less.

Back at the flower shop, the door chimes softly as you push it open. The familiar scent of flowers greets you, but this time, it feels different. There’s a lightness to the air, a nervous anticipation you can’t shake. You glance around the shop and spot Kai behind the counter, his back turned as he carefully arranges a bouquet. As you approach, he turns, his eyes widening in recognition.

“Oh, hey. Back again? What, did you come to knock over more flowers?” he teases, his voice light and amused as he sets the bouquet down.

You laugh nervously, the memory of the previous day’s accidental collision still fresh in your mind. “No, I just… I felt bad about yesterday. You were so nice, and since you wouldn’t let me pay for the poppies, I thought coffee might make up for it.”

Kai raises an eyebrow, looking at the cup in your hand, and then his gaze flickers to the name written on it. His smile grows wider as he sees “Kai” scrawled in neat handwriting. “Kai, huh?”

Your heart skips a beat at the way he says it. Did I mess it up? You panic for a split second before quickly speaking up. “What? Did I spell it wrong?”

“No, it’s fine,” he chuckles, his tone warm and light. “My friends call me that too. I did tell you it’s Hueningkai though, remember?”

You groan, scratching the back of your neck, feeling heat rise to your face. “I didn’t forget, don’t worry. It’s just that the barista asked for the spelling, and I panicked. I wasn’t sure if it was like… H-u-e or H-e-u or…” You trail off, embarrassed at how overblown this whole situation feels now.

His laughter is genuine and easy, making the awkwardness feel lighter. “Don’t worry. You can just call me Kai. Honestly, it suits me better.”

The tension between you two fades, and the conversation turns easy, natural even, as you both sip your coffee in companionable silence. There’s a peacefulness in this small moment, a quiet connection that feels as if it’s grown out of the simplest of actions. It’s strange—how a cup of coffee, an exchange of words, could carry so much weight. You can’t explain it, but somehow, it does. There’s a comfort in being here with him, in the shared space, even if it’s only for a moment.

As you finish your coffee, you start to stand up, preparing to leave. The warmth of the coffee lingers in your hands, and you feel a small pang of reluctance at the thought of walking away. But just as you turn, Kai’s voice calls out, pulling you back like a thread being gently tugged.

“Hey! I just realized—I didn’t get your name. I should’ve asked it beforehand, huh?”

You freeze mid-step, caught off guard by the simple statement. It’s funny how something as ordinary as your name can feel so vulnerable at this moment, as if giving it away might anchor you to this fleeting encounter. Slowly, you turn back toward him, a hint of embarrassment creeping into your expression.

“Oh, uh, right,” you say, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “How could I forget? I’m Y/N.” The words come out soft, almost hesitant, but you offer him a small, shy smile to soften the awkwardness.

Kai’s lips curve into a genuine smile, one that makes his features light up in a way that feels unfairly disarming. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” he says, his tone carrying a warmth that feels like the first hint of spring after a long winter.

You nod, ready to excuse yourself, but he continues, his voice dipping into a playful lilt. “I feel like I should make sure you don’t knock over any more flowers. How about we exchange numbers? That way, you can give me a heads-up if you’re planning to visit again.”

A surprised laugh escapes your lips, and you shake your head. “Are you going to hold that over me forever?” you ask, though the lightness in your tone betrays the quiet excitement bubbling beneath your skin.

“Absolutely,” he replies without missing a beat, the mischievous glint in his eyes sending a small flutter through your chest. “But I promise to be gentle about it.”

The faint heat rising to your cheeks betrays the calm facade you’re trying to maintain. “Alright,” you say, pulling your phone from your pocket, your fingers trembling just enough for you to notice. You carefully type in your number, hesitating for a moment before handing it to him.

As he takes the phone, his fingers brush lightly against yours. The contact is brief—barely a second—but it leaves behind a spark that lingers, warming your skin like the echo of a quiet flame. He glances at the screen, his lips curling into a satisfied smile as he saves your number.

“There,” he says, holding up his phone like it’s a trophy. “Now I can officially make sure you’re not a menace to flowers everywhere.”

You laugh again, the sound feeling freer this time. “I’ll do my best to avoid causing more disasters. Scout’s honor.”

Kai grins, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that makes your heart skip. “I’ll hold you to that, Y/N.”

With a final exchange of smiles, you both say your goodbyes. As you step out of the coffee shop and into the cool air, the world feels a little brighter, the colors a little sharper. Your mind keeps circling back to the warmth of his voice, the easy rhythm of your conversation, and the way his smile lingered just for you.

Clutching your phone in your pocket, you can’t help but wonder if this brief, serendipitous moment might grow into something far more unexpected. For the first time in a long time, the idea doesn’t feel so impossible. Instead, it feels like a quiet kind of hope.

The first text from Kai comes the next morning, a simple message: “Hope your day’s going well.”

You stare at the screen for a moment, unsure of what to say, but it feels like a door opening—a small crack that you could slip through. So, you respond: “Good so far, just the usual. How about you?”

It’s an innocent exchange, but something about it makes your heart flutter. It’s just a text. Just a casual check-in. And yet, it feels like it means more.

Over the next few days, the texts come more regularly. The casual messages soon become a natural part of your routine. Sometimes it’s a photo of the flowers you’ve come across while walking home, sometimes it’s a little observation about something funny or odd you saw in the city. Kai, always prompt in his replies, sends photos of his own—his latest photography projects, snapshots of the flowers at the shop, or just the candid moments of his day. It’s never anything particularly groundbreaking, but the simplicity of it makes you feel like you’re getting to know him more than you expected.

One afternoon, you send him a picture of a small bouquet you picked up on your way back from class. Bright yellow daffodils, with their cheerful petals standing out against the greenery. “What do you think of these?” you ask, feeling a little silly, but the thought of his opinion matters to you in a way you can’t quite explain.

A few minutes later, your phone buzzes. “They’re gorgeous. Definitely a good pick. I think you’re going to love how they look in your space.” There’s a small follow-up text: “Daffodils are one of my favorites. They remind me of early spring—the way the weather feels like it’s on the edge of change, but still holding onto a bit of the winter chill.”

You smile at his words, the thoughtfulness behind them. It’s strange how quickly you’ve come to appreciate these small moments of connection. The way his comments feel personal, and the way he seems to truly think about things before responding. It makes you feel seen, even if it’s just in this small way.

After a few weeks, the texts have evolved. Sometimes it’s quick updates on your day, but other times, you find yourselves talking late into the night, the messages flowing more easily than you ever expected. He tells you about his life, about how he balances his part-time job at the flower shop with his classes. How he has big dreams of traveling the world, capturing moments with his camera, but also feels a pressure to figure out what he wants to do with his life. There’s a sense of uncertainty in his words that you can relate to, but there’s also a spark of passion when he talks about photography, as if it’s the one thing he knows he’s meant to do.

It’s strange—how quickly you’ve started looking forward to his messages. At first, you thought it was just casual. A way to pass the time. But now? Now, it feels like a connection is slowly growing between you two, one small message at a time. Sometimes, you catch yourself waiting for the sound of your phone buzzing, hoping that there’ll be another text from him waiting for you. And when it does come, there’s a warmth that spreads through you, like the glow of the sun breaking through the clouds.

The ease with which you both have fallen into this comfortable, shared space catches you off guard. Every text feels like a small piece of a larger puzzle, one that you’re slowly starting to put together without even realizing it. And somehow, it feels like something more than just casual messages between friends. There’s something there, something that you can’t quite name yet.

Every now and then, you think about the idea of soulmates. You wonder, as you read his messages or look at the photos he sends, if this could be it. Could he be the one you’ve been waiting for, even though the dream system never worked for you? Could this—this—be how soulmates are found, not through dreams or destiny, but through something as simple and beautiful as a shared moment, a small act of kindness, and a deepening connection?

For now, though, all you know is that you enjoy these small moments with him. The way the conversations flow so naturally. The way he shares pieces of his life with you. And somehow, it feels like you’re building something more real than any dream could ever promise.

It’s another late evening at your favorite café, the soft hum of chatter and clink of coffee cups filling the air as you and Kai sit together, enjoying the warmth of your drinks. There's an unusual ease between you, a connection that feels more natural with each passing day.

After a few moments of comfortable silence, Kai looks up at you, a contemplative expression crossing his face. "So, have you met your soulmate yet?"

The question catches you off guard, and your stomach sinks slightly. You've been avoiding this topic for weeks now. You laugh it off at first, trying to keep the conversation light. "What? No, I haven’t. You know that. I mean, I don't even have dreams like everyone else. It’s like... nothing is happening for me."

Kai gives you a soft, understanding look, though there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes. You pause, feeling the familiar sting of rejection, the disappointment that comes with never having felt the pull of a soulmate.

He hesitates, then quietly admits, "I haven’t had a soulmate dream either. Not for a long time."

You glance at him in surprise, unsure of how to respond. "What do you mean, 'not for a long time'?"

He looks away, as if lost in thought. "I had one. A long time ago. But..." His voice falters, and he takes a deep breath before continuing, "... my soulmate rejected me. They cut the bond before it could even really start."

The words hang in the air, and you feel the weight of them. You can't imagine what that kind of rejection must feel like—being told that your connection, your future, isn't real. But the look in Kai’s eyes tells you that it’s been the hardest thing he’s ever experienced.

"I tried to move on," Kai adds, his voice soft. "But it's hard, you know? When you’ve been told that you only get one soulmate... and then it all falls apart."

The sadness in his tone is unmistakable, and you feel a pang of sympathy for him, even though you're struggling with your own emptiness. The idea that everyone only gets one soulmate feels like a cruel joke, especially when it’s all tied to something as fragile as a dream. You’ve never had a soulmate dream, and now you’re hearing that Kai had one—and it was ripped away from him before it could even begin.

You want to comfort him, but the weight of the situation leaves you at a loss for words. Kai continues to gaze into his cup, almost as if the pain is too much to look at directly.

After a long silence, he looks up, meeting your eyes with a quiet resolve. "But I’m not going to let that stop me from helping you."

You blink, taken aback. "What do you mean?"

Kai leans back in his chair, his voice steady. "I know what it’s like to feel like you’re never going to meet the one. But that doesn’t mean I won’t help you find yours. Even if I’ve lost mine, I’ll help you. I won’t let you feel alone in this."

His words are both comforting and heartbreaking. You hadn’t expected him to offer—especially given everything he’s been through. The weight of his rejection, the hollow feeling he must carry every day, and still, he’s offering his help without hesitation. There’s something selfless in his offer, and you find it hard to process.

You swallow hard, a mix of gratitude and sadness pooling in your chest. "Kai, I—"

He gives you a soft smile, though it’s tinged with sorrow. "You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s not the same, but maybe we can help each other figure it out. I’ll be here, even if it’s just for the company. And I’ll help you search for your soulmate—just… don’t give up on them yet."

His words make your heart ache, and for a moment, you feel a tiny crack form in the wall around your own feelings. You had been carrying this burden of emptiness on your own, not sharing it with anyone, and now, Kai is here, offering to help in the only way he knows how. And yet, there’s a part of you that feels pained at the realization that he’s had to carry this pain of rejection alone for so long. You hadn’t expected to feel this way, but it hurts knowing that even though he’s willing to help you, he’s still carrying the pieces of his broken soulmate bond with him.

"I… I don't want you to feel like you have to help me," you say softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "I don’t want you to go through this alone just because I need someone."

Kai shakes his head, his eyes soft but firm. "No. I want to help you. It’s not about pity or anything. It’s just... if I can help you find something real, then maybe it’ll make this whole thing worth it for someone else, even if it’s not me."

A lump forms in your throat, and for a moment, all you can do is nod. The emotions swirling in your chest are too complex to untangle, but you appreciate his honesty, his vulnerability. Yet despite the sadness that’s colored this conversation, something inside you shifts—Kai is no longer just the boy who gave you bumped into that one day; he’s someone who truly understands the weight of lost dreams, and somehow, you’re both going to find a way through it together.

But as he speaks, you can’t shake the quiet disappointment that lingers in your heart. You finally had hopes of your soulmate, you thought it was him, but turns out he already had a soulmate, well used to. But still, you can’t help but feel grateful for the person sitting across from you, even if the path ahead is uncertain, you had a friend like him.

As the days pass, your connection with Kai deepens, although you don’t let it get further than just a friend helping you out. The conversations you once had over coffee now spill over into late-night text exchanges and phone calls. The weight of your shared quest to understand soulmates—those late ones, the lost ones, the ones like you—becomes a bond neither of you had anticipated.

It starts off small. You exchange articles, links to forums, obscure old myths about soulmates passed down through generations. But each discovery, no matter how trivial it seems, feels like a small victory. And every time Kai texts you something new he’s found, it brings a new kind of excitement, something you haven’t felt in a long time. The loneliness doesn’t sting quite as much when you're searching together, looking for answers that might finally bring you peace.

The first night you sit together in his room, your laptops open, books scattered around you, it feels like a shared mission. You're not just searching for your soulmate anymore. You’re searching for a truth that feels just out of reach.

Kai, always the meticulous one, has already printed out several research papers he found about soulmate bonds, especially ones about the late bloomers—people who don’t dream of their soulmate until later in life, or whose connections are severed before they can even begin to bloom. His handwriting fills a small notebook, filled with observations, notes, and even speculative ideas about how soulmates could be tied to something more than just a dream.

"This one," Kai says one night, his finger tracing an old myth from a dusty book he’d borrowed from the local library, "talks about how some soulmates might be waiting for the other to be ready. Like, maybe the dream doesn't happen until both people are emotionally prepared to face each other. That could be why you haven’t had a soulmate dream yet—maybe you’re just not ready, or the dream hasn’t arrived because you haven’t faced whatever you need to face yet."

You take a long look at the page, absorbing the idea. It makes sense, in a way. Could there be some truth to it? Have you been avoiding something in your life that could make your dream of a soulmate real? "What do you think?" you ask, curious about his thoughts.

Kai leans back, his eyes a little distant. “I don’t know. But it’s possible. It’s just like when people say you can't truly love someone else until you love yourself, right? Maybe it’s the same with soulmates. The universe is waiting for you to be whole first.”

You nod, the words resonating in a way you didn’t expect. There’s a truth to what he’s saying. It’s not just about meeting someone; maybe it’s about becoming someone capable of accepting that connection. The weight of that realization lingers, but it also offers a flicker of hope. Could your soulmate be out there, waiting for you to understand something about yourself before you meet?

Another night, as you scroll through a thread on a forum discussing soulmate connections, you stumble upon an older comment—one that catches your attention. It talks about how some soulmate connections aren’t about finding your other half, but about finding someone who compliments your journey, someone who helps you grow. You read the words to Kai out loud, and he nods thoughtfully.

“That’s an interesting perspective,” he muses, tapping his pen on the desk. “What if soulmates aren’t a perfect match but rather the catalyst to make you a better version of yourself? It’s kind of like... what I was talking about with ‘readiness.’ Maybe soulmates are there to teach us something.”

Your heart flutters at the thought of it. Could your soulmate be someone you wouldn’t expect? Someone who helps you grow, someone who’s meant to challenge you? The idea makes your stomach turn in an odd mix of excitement and nervousness. What if your soulmate was someone completely different from what you imagined?

Kai’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “Maybe you haven’t had your dream because there’s something you still need to learn before you can be ready for it. But I’ll help you figure it out.”

His words settle over you like a gentle, steady reassurance. It’s not just the research or the theories that make you feel comforted, but the quiet sincerity behind them. Kai has been hurt by his own soulmate’s rejection, but instead of shutting down, he’s chosen to help you find yours. His belief in your chance at a soulmate, despite everything he’s been through, is something you can’t quite comprehend yet, but you feel the weight of it—how deeply he cares.

You don’t know what you’ve done to deserve such a loyal friend, but you’re grateful for it. The more time you spend together, the more you realize how much Kai’s presence has become a comfort in your life. He’s not just a source of information anymore; he’s a friend, someone who understands your struggles, someone who’s willing to go through this journey with you, no matter how long it takes.

But there’s something else, too—something that’s starting to grow between you, a feeling that’s hard to name. As you share theories, exchange ideas, and laugh over shared frustrations, the bond between you and Kai shifts. It’s no longer just about finding your soulmate. It’s about finding your way through this confusing, lonely world, together.

Sometimes, when your eyes meet across the table, you catch something unspoken in his gaze. It’s not the same as before. It’s softer, warmer, and when he smiles at you, it feels like something more than just a friend’s smile. But every time you notice it, you push it aside, telling yourself that you’re just imagining things.

After all, Kai is helping you find your soulmate—not being one for you.

And yet, with every passing night spent researching and learning together, the lines between friendship and something deeper begin to blur. The more you lean on each other, the harder it becomes to separate what you need from what you want. And neither of you knows yet where this journey will take you.

But you’re no longer alone in it.

After weeks of late-night research and deep conversations about soulmates, today is a quiet, uneventful afternoon at the flower shop. Kai has just finished his shift, and you’ve come from your classes, the calm of the day settling in between the two of you. The shop is warm, sunlight pouring through the windows, casting soft patterns on the floor. You’re both sitting with iced drinks in hand, scrolling through your phones. But there’s an underlying tension in the air that you can’t ignore.

Kai is distant today. He’s usually more present—playful, engaging, or cracking jokes to fill the silences. But not today. Today, he’s just sitting there, staring down at the floor, a furrow in his brow. It’s subtle, but you notice.

“Hey,” you say gently, trying to break the silence. “You okay?”

Kai blinks and looks up, his gaze sharp as if he’s just snapped out of a trance. He offers a small, distracted smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, just... thinking about something. It’s nothing.”

You don’t buy it. Not for a second. Over the past few weeks, you’ve become familiar with the way his moods shift, and this isn’t the usual easygoing Kai you know. Something’s bothering him.

“You sure?” You try again. “You seem... off.”

He chuckles softly, a little awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s just... I ran into someone yesterday.”

You raise an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “Someone? Who?”

Kai’s gaze flickers to the flowers scattered around the shop, avoiding your eyes. “My ex... the one who rejected me.”

His words hit you harder than you expected. You’ve heard pieces of his past, but hearing it like this, raw and unfiltered, makes something twist in your chest. You can see it now—the tension in his shoulders, the subtle tightness in his jaw. There’s a lingering sadness in the way he says it, like a ghost he’s still carrying around.

“Wait, you saw her?” you ask, your voice quiet.

Kai nods, looking almost reluctant to share. “Yeah. It was a surprise. We bumped into each other on the street. Honestly, I thought I’d feel... something. But, weirdly, I felt nothing.”

“Nothing?” you echo, surprised. “Like... no anger? No pain?”

He shakes his head slowly, his expression distant. “Just... indifference. I thought I’d feel something after everything that happened. But when I saw her, I realized I don’t care anymore. I didn’t feel anger or resentment. I didn’t feel relief, either. I just felt... nothing. I guess I was hoping for some sort of closure, but instead, I just... walked away.”

You pause, the weight of his words hanging in the air between you. The silence stretches, both of you caught in your thoughts, as you try to process what he’s just shared.

“It’s good that you felt indifferent,” you finally say, your voice gentle. “Maybe that means you’re starting to move on. Like... truly move on.”

Kai looks over at you, his eyes softening as he meets your gaze. He gives you a small smile, but it’s bittersweet. “Yeah... maybe. But it’s weird, you know? After everything we went through, I thought I’d have some kind of reaction. Some feeling that would tell me I was over it. But in the end... I didn’t feel anything at all.”

You think for a moment, then offer him a reassuring smile. “Maybe that’s a good thing. It means you’re free.”

Kai lets out a quiet, almost resigned laugh, but there’s still a shadow in his eyes. “Maybe. But sometimes I wonder... if I’m just... afraid of feeling anything again, you know? Maybe that’s why I can’t let myself care.”

His words hang in the air, and you don’t know what to say. You’re not sure how to fix the uncertainty in his voice, or the way he’s still so hesitant to let himself feel something, even though he’s ready to let go of the past.

You don’t have an immediate answer for him. Instead, you just sit there with him in the quiet of the shop, the weight of his vulnerability hanging between you. The afternoon light spills through the windows, casting long shadows as the two of you are left alone with your thoughts.

After a long moment, you finally speak. “If you ever want to talk about it more, you know I’m here, right?”

Kai looks at you, his gaze soft, and his smile deepens slightly. “I know. Thanks.”

It’s not the kind of conversation that has any clear resolution, but in this moment, the simple act of being there for each other feels like the most important thing. You’re not sure if Kai is ready to face his fears about opening his heart again, but you’re certain that, for now, you’re there with him, sharing this space and understanding him in a way that words can’t fully capture.

The afternoon slips into evening, and the two of you fall into an easy, comfortable silence. There’s no pressure, no need for more explanations. You’re just there, two people who have seen each other’s scars and are slowly learning how to heal them together.

It’s a fragile, quiet comfort. But it’s enough. For now.

For years, your dreams remained empty, cold, and silent. But then, one night, things began to shift. It started with a faint shadow, a shape in the distance that was too unclear to recognize—just a faint outline, barely visible. The figure was blurry, indistinct, but even so, your heart skipped a beat. You couldn't help but wonder: was this finally your soulmate? Could the long wait for a connection in your dreams be coming to an end?

Night after night, the figure grows clearer, the edges sharpening with each passing dream. Though you still can’t make out their face, their form is more defined now, their presence more tangible. You feel a pull in your chest, an unexplainable warmth when the figure appears. Hope swells inside you—the soulmate you’ve longed for, the one you were meant to meet, is finally reaching out. The excitement is overwhelming. You just need to see their face. But even with the lingering blur, you’re convinced: this is them, the one you’ve been waiting for all these years.

Yet, as your connection with this blurry figure deepens with each dream, you can’t help but think of Kai. Of the long conversations, of the shared moments, of the way you’ve both supported each other in your confusion and pain. For so long, he’s been a constant, a friend who has listened to your hopes and fears. And now, as you inch closer to meeting the person who will complete you, you wonder—what does this mean for you and Kai? Will your friendship end when your goal is reached?

For Kai, though, things are different. His dreams are also filled with a figure—a blurry, indistinct shape that grows clearer the more he sleeps. But unlike you, Kai isn’t filled with excitement. Instead, he feels dread. Every night, he’s haunted by this figure, and with every new dream, he’s more convinced that it’s not someone new—it's his ex-soulmate. The one who rejected him all those years ago.

The figure hasn’t solidified yet, still too blurry for him to fully recognize, but Kai knows. He knows that it’s her—the person who severed their bond before it could ever even begin. He hasn’t seen her in years, but every time the figure appears in his dreams, his stomach sinks. The more he tries to push it away, the more certain he becomes. This isn’t a new person; this is someone from his past, someone who broke his heart and left him questioning everything about soulmates.

The dread claws at him each night as he sees that blurry figure taking form, inching closer to clarity. He doesn’t want it to be her. He doesn’t want to face the possibility that she might want to reconnect, might want to try again. The rejection he endured still stings, and he can’t imagine having to go through that pain again. Even if the figure is still vague, the fear that it’s her makes him hesitate to believe it could be anything else. Yet, why does a part of him long for it to be someone else, even when it would be impossible.

You can’t contain your excitement when you sit down with Kai at the café, eager to share the latest developments in your dreams. The figure is growing clearer, and every night, you feel a stronger pull toward them. You tell Kai about how you can sense the figure reaching out to you, and how the bond feels so much more real with each passing night. The hope of finally meeting your soulmate feels so close, you can almost touch it.

Kai listens quietly, but the smile on his face is faint, his eyes shadowed with a flicker of something deeper. His heart sinks as you speak, a quiet ache growing in his chest. The weight of your words settles heavily on him. You’re so sure that the blurry figure in your dreams is your soulmate, but Kai can’t help but think about the blurry figure in his own dreams.

As you talk about your dreams, about the connection growing stronger, Kai’s mind drifts. He’s been trying so hard to ignore the feelings that have been growing inside him. The feelings he’s been hiding for so long, the feelings that have only deepened as the two of you have spent more time together.

He’s falling for you. He knows it, feels it with every passing day, but the truth is too complicated, too painful. He watches as you get excited about your soulmate, your connection, and it feels like a cruel reminder of everything he can never have. The dream of soulmates that was once his, now shattered and replaced by an unspoken truth he can’t share.

Kai doesn’t want to feel this way. He doesn’t want to feel this weight on his chest, this tightness in his throat every time you talk about your soulmate, because he knows it’s too late. You’re on your way to meeting yours, and even if he wanted to tell you the truth—that he’s falling in love with you—he’s terrified. Terrified that you won’t feel the same way, terrified that it’s too late for him.

He’s watching you become closer to someone else, and the thought of losing you—of never having a chance with you—is unbearable. So, he suppresses it. He smiles, laughs, listens, all the while pretending that everything is fine, all the while fighting the intense emotions brewing inside him.

Despite the turmoil in his heart, Kai continues to help you. He listens patiently as you share the details of your dreams, offering his insights and advice on how to interpret the signs and clues. He tells you to pay attention to the smallest details, to look for anything that might confirm the identity of the figure, even as he feels the ache of not being able to reveal his own feelings.

Each time you tell him about how much clearer the figure has become, how the bond feels more tangible, the tension in Kai’s chest grows. He smiles and offers encouraging words, but the smile never quite reaches his eyes. The strain is evident in his voice, in the way he holds himself back from saying too much.

He’s doing everything he can to be there for you, to help you find your soulmate. But inside, he’s battling a storm of emotions. Every word of encouragement, every smile, feels like a slow burn, like he’s suffocating under the weight of his own unspoken love for you. The more you grow excited about your soulmate, the more the distance between you and Kai feels like an insurmountable divide.

The tension between you both grows, even if you don’t see it. Each moment spent with him feels like a precious gift to Kai, but also like a constant reminder of everything he can’t have. His love for you remains unspoken, locked away in the silence between your words, and he wonders how much longer he can keep it buried inside before it all comes spilling out.

The space between you and Kai continues to grow, though neither of you acknowledges it outright. There’s something undeniably charged between you two, something that lingers in every shared glance and every small moment. His presence in your life is a constant, and you’ve grown used to the comfort and warmth that comes with his quiet support. Yet, no matter how much you feel the connection between you, you still find yourself pushing it away.

You remind yourself that the soulmate you’ve been waiting for is out there, still a blurry figure in your dreams, and that’s the one you’re meant to be with. Despite the warmth you feel when Kai is around, the tenderness in his eyes, the way he listens to you like no one else does, you refuse to acknowledge it. You tell yourself that it’s too soon, that this bond with Kai doesn’t mean anything.

Each time you laugh and share another bit of good news about your dreams, you can feel his gaze lingering on you longer than it should, a quiet sadness that you don’t see, but that he can’t hide. You’re becoming more and more absorbed in the hope of meeting your soulmate, the one who’s supposed to be out there waiting for you, the one who will complete the dream you’ve been chasing for so long.

Kai, on the other hand, watches as the gap between you grows. It’s not that you’ve changed, not really. But he can see the way you’ve become more distant. The more excited you get about the dreams, the more you pull away from him, almost as if you’re trying to convince yourself that your soulmate isn’t someone you already know. It eats away at him, but he doesn’t know how to stop it. He’s terrified that if he tells you how he feels, he’ll only push you further away. But watching you hold on to the idea of someone else, someone who’s not him, is slowly breaking him.

One evening, after a long day, you and Kai take a quiet walk together. The air is cool, the sound of your footsteps is all that can be heard as the silence between you both grows more palpable. You’re talking about your dreams, your soulmate, and how convinced you are that they’re finally starting to reach you. The figure is becoming clearer, your connection growing stronger.

“I can’t wait to finally meet them,” you say, your smile hopeful, your eyes filled with anticipation.

Kai forces a smile, nodding along as if he’s truly happy for you, but his heart feels like it’s sinking. He swallows the lump in his throat, the ache that has been building inside him for weeks. “Yeah,” he replies softly, his voice carrying a faint edge of pain that he quickly tries to mask. “They’re out there.”

But even as he says it, there’s a part of him that wants to scream that he’s right here. That he’s the one who’s been by your side, supporting you through all of this. But he doesn’t. He can’t. He watches as you remain wrapped in the belief that your soulmate is someone who will appear in your dreams, and he wonders if you’ll ever look at him in that way.

The walk ends in silence, a thick, invisible wall between you that neither of you is willing to acknowledge. You part ways, still believing in the dream of your soulmate, unaware of how much Kai has already given you—how much he’s already given up in silence.

For Kai, each step away from you feels like a piece of him breaking off, but he swallows it down. He’s learned to live in the space of almost, to pretend that everything is fine, even when his heart aches with every passing second. But the truth is, he knows deep down that no matter how hard he tries to be just your friend, the feelings he has for you have grown too strong to ignore. He just doesn’t know if you’ll ever see him the way he sees you, nor should you, not when you’re destined to be with someone else already.

The night wraps around Kai like a heavy blanket as he sits on the edge of his bed, phone in hand, staring at your message. His thumb brushes idly against the screen, scrolling up to reread your words, as if the emotions woven into them might shift into something easier to bear if he looks just one more time.

You had sent it with so much enthusiasm, your excitement spilling over like the first rays of dawn breaking through the darkest night. You’d written about the dream—how vivid it was, how the figure was no longer a blur but beginning to take shape. You’d described every detail with a breathless kind of joy: the way the figure moved, how they reached out to you, how close you felt to finally understanding who they were. It was like reading a story painted in colors so bright they almost hurt his eyes, each word shining with hope and possibility.

Kai could see your happiness so clearly in every word, and it twisted something deep inside him. The tightness in his chest grew unbearable as he pictured you sitting there, eyes lit up, fingers typing quickly, pouring out your heart to him. It was the kind of joy he wanted to see on your face every day, the kind of excitement he longed to be the cause of—but instead, it was for someone else. Someone faceless. Someone who wasn’t him.

His hand tightened around his phone as he reread your description of the dream, the way you’d said the figure was finally coming into focus, how it felt like you were standing on the edge of a life-changing revelation. Kai could practically hear your voice in his mind, brimming with anticipation, and it only made the ache in his chest worse.

His fingers hover over the keyboard, trembling slightly, and before he knows it, he’s typing. I wish it were me. I wish I was the one you saw in your dreams. The words spill out in a rush, raw and unfiltered, as though his heart had taken over, desperate to finally be heard.

For a moment, he stares at the screen, his heart pounding. The confession feels so fragile, so vulnerable, and yet it burns with the truth he’s been carrying for far too long. The glowing words seem to taunt him, daring him to hit send, to step into the unknown and finally bare his soul.

But then reality crashes down on him like a wave, cold and unforgiving. His breathing slows as doubt creeps in, wrapping around him like chains. His thumb hovers over the “send” button, frozen. What if this changes everything? What if you don’t feel the same? What if he loses you entirely?

The risk feels too great, the fear too overwhelming. With a shaking breath, he presses backspace, watching the words disappear one by one, like erasing a part of himself. The blank text box stares back at him, mocking him with its emptiness.

Kai types something safer, something distant, something that won’t betray the storm raging inside him. "That sounds amazing. I’m really happy for you," he writes. The words feel hollow, lifeless, like a shadow of what he truly wants to say. But that's all he can manage.

He hits send before he can overthink it, the message vanishing into the ether like a whisper swallowed by the wind. As soon as it’s gone, a crushing weight settles on his chest. The ache doesn’t lessen; it deepens, sinking into him like a stone dropped into the depths of a still lake.

He imagines you reading his response, your excitement still glowing, your mind racing with thoughts of your soulmate and the dream that brought them closer to you. He imagines your smile, your heart fluttering with hope, and it feels like a knife twisting in his chest.

Kai closes his eyes, letting his head fall into his hands. The silence of his room is deafening, broken only by the sound of his own uneven breathing. He tells himself he’s happy for you—he repeats it over and over in his mind, like a mantra, as if saying it enough times might make it true. But deep down, he knows he’s lying.

He doesn’t just want to be part of your dreams; he wants to be the dream. The person you wake up thinking about. The one you’re so excited to meet. The one who makes your heart race and your words spill out in breathless joy. But instead, he’s the one sitting in the shadows, watching you chase a future that doesn’t include him.

A few days later, you meet Kai for coffee at your favorite spot, a cozy little café tucked away from the bustling streets. The familiar hum of conversation blends with the soft clinking of cups and the faint aroma of roasted beans in the air. It’s one of those rare, fleeting moments when life feels suspended in a delicate balance, and the two of you can simply exist—no burdens, no expectations, just two people sharing a moment of peace.

The conversation starts light, with playful jabs about the unseasonably warm weather and anecdotes from your day that make him chuckle. There’s an ease between you that feels natural, like slipping into a favorite sweater. But as the minutes tick by and your drinks grow lukewarm, the conversation takes a turn, shifting into deeper waters as it often does when you’re with him.

"So," Kai begins, a teasing lilt in his voice as he stirs his coffee. "How’s it going? The soulmate dreams?" His tone is light, almost casual, but the slight hesitation in his question hints at something more—something unspoken.

You sit up a little straighter, your eyes bright with excitement as you lean forward. "It’s getting clearer every night," you say, your words spilling out in a rush. "I can almost see them, Kai. It’s like I’m standing right there, just one step away. I know I’m going to meet them soon."

Kai listens intently, his hand stilling on his cup as he watches you. There’s a quiet intensity in his gaze, but it’s layered with something you can’t quite catch—an emotion buried deep beneath the surface. He offers you a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. "You really think they’re out there, huh?" he asks, his voice lilting with mock curiosity, but the weight behind his words betrays him.

You nod eagerly, completely missing the subtle crack in his façade. "I know they are," you say with conviction, your hands curling around your cup. "I’ve been waiting for this my whole life, Kai. I can feel it. They’re out there, and they’re waiting for me too."

His smile falters, just for a moment, before he schools his expression into something softer, something easier to wear. "I guess we all have to believe in something," he murmurs, his voice so quiet it nearly gets lost in the background noise. But his words hold a heaviness that lingers, an ache he tries to suppress.

You’re too caught up in your own thoughts to notice the way his shoulders slump ever so slightly, or the way his fingers tighten around his cup like he’s holding himself together. You keep talking, sharing every detail of your dreams—the colors, the sounds, the way your soulmate’s presence feels so real, so close. And all the while, Kai sits there, nodding along, his chest tightening with every word.

For you, this is hope—an unwavering belief that everything you’ve dreamed of is just around the corner. But for Kai, it’s something else entirely. It’s a quiet kind of agony, the kind that sits heavy in your chest and makes it hard to breathe. He’s been your confidant, your anchor, the one you turn to when the world feels too big. But as he listens to you speak of your soulmate with such reverence, a cruel truth seeps into his heart: you’ve never looked at him the way you look at the person in your dreams.

He forces another smile, his lips trembling for just a fraction of a second. "I’m happy for you," he says softly, his voice steady despite the storm raging inside him. He means it—he really does—but the words feel like glass on his tongue.

You don’t notice the way his gaze lingers on you, or the way his hands tremble slightly as he sets his cup down. You don’t see the way his heart breaks, piece by piece, with every word you speak. All you see is the future you’ve dreamed of, the life you’re so certain is waiting for you.

And Kai—sweet, selfless Kai—sits there in silence, letting you pour your heart out even as his own shatters. A part of him wants to tell you the truth, to lay everything bare and risk it all. But another part—the part that loves you too much to take that chance—keeps him rooted in place. So he listens, he smiles, he nods, and he pretends. Because that’s all he can do now—be your friend, your confidant, the one who cheers you on even as he quietly mourns the future he knows he’ll never have with you.

A week later, the air feels heavy between you and Kai as you walk through the park, side by side, your shoes crunching softly on the path beneath. It’s a serene evening—the kind that makes everything feel just a little more alive, just a little more beautiful. The sky is a warm gradient of orange and pink, the sun dipping below the horizon. The kind of moment you would want to savor, if only everything didn’t feel so complicated.

Kai is listening as you talk about your usual topic the past few days, your soulmate—about the blurry figure in your dreams, how each night it becomes clearer. You’re excited, almost desperate to share this feeling with him. The possibility of finally meeting the person you’ve been waiting for, the one who might complete you.

But as you speak, you notice something. Kai is looking at you differently. His usual smile is soft, but there’s something deeper in his eyes, a mix of emotions you can’t quite understand but it’s something that makes your heart skip a beat. There’s a heaviness in the way he watches you, a silent understanding between you that only heightens the tension in the air.

The conversation slows, the words between you becoming fewer as the quiet settles in. You’re aware of the space between you—close, but not quite touching. It feels like everything is building to something, but neither of you knows exactly what. Your heartbeat quickens, and for the first time, you realize just how close you’ve become to him, how much his presence affects you.

Suddenly, you stop walking, turning to face him. The moment hangs between you, and you feel the pull—something between you that’s been there all along, something that’s become undeniable. Kai stands still, his gaze searching yours, as if asking for something you’re not sure you can give.

Then, before you can think, you see it: the way he leans in just slightly, the way the world feels like it’s slowing down around you. The distance between you shrinks, and you feel an electric current spark in the air. His breath is warm against your skin, his presence so overwhelming that your heart seems to stop beating for a moment.

Everything inside you screams to kiss him—to bridge the gap between you and the unspoken words you both keep holding back. But your thoughts of your soulmate—of the person who’s supposed to be in your dreams—rush in, and before you can even make a choice, you pull back.

“Wait,” you murmur, your voice shaky, caught in the whirlwind of your own emotions. “This is wrong, Kai. I... I can’t do this.”

Kai freezes. For a second, the world feels like it’s fallen silent, but instead of letting the awkwardness linger, he smiles quickly, a little too brightly, as though trying to mask what just happened.

"Sorry, I thought you had an eyelash on your cheek," he says, his voice light, almost too casual. "I was just trying to get it."

He raises his hand and brushes your cheek gently with his fingers, an act so tender it almost feels like a confession. His touch lingers for a moment before he pulls away, his smirk now a little forced.

“I don’t know if I got it. I couldn’t really see it properly,” he adds with a chuckle, as if nothing significant just happened. “Oh, sorry, guess I just got a little too close.”

You laugh nervously, your heart still racing, trying to mask the confusion inside. "Right," you say, your voice weak. "That was... close."

Kai steps back, his eyes still lingering on you for a fraction of a second, but the moment is already slipping away, the unspoken words hanging in the air, unresolved. The quiet that follows feels different now, heavier, like you’re both pretending it didn’t happen.

The rest of the walk feels like a slow unraveling. You continue to talk, but the easy silence is gone, replaced by an uncomfortable tension. The words are there, but they don’t feel like they’re reaching each other the same way. It’s as though the space between you has grown even wider.

Later, when you lie in bed, you replay the moment over and over in your mind. You keep thinking about how close you were, the way his fingers had brushed your cheek. You wonder if it had been a mistake to stop. Was it too soon? Was it wrong to pull away?

You convince yourself that you did the right thing. It’s not fair to Kai. It’s not fair to the soulmate you’re waiting for. But deep down, there’s a nagging doubt, a voice that wonders if you’ve been fooling yourself all along. Was it really the wrong time? Or did you just push him away because you were afraid of what it meant?

On the other side of the situation, Kai is tangled in his own thoughts. His fists are clenched at his sides as he stares at the ceiling, his mind racing. He replays the moment in his head too—the way his heart had pounded when you stopped him, how close you had been, how he thought, for just a second, that you might feel it too.

But you pulled away. And in that moment, he felt the weight of it all—the distance between you, the reality that no matter how close you got, you’d always be waiting for someone else.

“I should’ve known it was too good to be true,” he thinks bitterly. “You have someone else. Someone waiting for you. And I’m just here… stuck in this endless loop, a broken bond yet hoping that maybe you could mend it back with yours.”

He sighs, closing his eyes, willing the ache in his chest to fade. “I can’t make her feel something she doesn’t. She deserves someone who’s meant for her. Someone who was fated to her.”

And with that thought, Kai drifts into a restless sleep, knowing the truth but still clinging to the hope that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

The dream begins, as it always does: blurry, disorienting, filled with an overwhelming sense of longing that you can never quite explain. It’s the same every night—shapes and shadows, a silhouette that never seems to come into focus, no matter how hard you try to make it clear. It teases you, whispers to you of something important, something that feels like destiny—but you can never quite grasp it.

Tonight, though, something is different.

The figure in front of you seems to ripple, the darkness around it seeming to waver, like the world itself is holding its breath. Your pulse quickens as the shadow begins to shift, stretching into something more defined, as if the universe is finally granting you the clarity you've been waiting for.

You reach out instinctively, as though you could pull the figure into sharper focus, draw the mystery out of the murky fog surrounding it. Your heart pounds in your chest, the anticipation rising to a fever pitch. The details begin to sharpen, the edges of the form gradually becoming clearer with each passing moment. A figure, tall and broad-shouldered, standing just out of reach. You can almost make out the curve of their jaw, the shape of their lips.

But still, it’s not enough.

And then—just when you think you might burst from the pressure of waiting—the veil is lifted. The figure finally comes into full view, and you gasp.

It’s not a stranger. Not the faceless being you’ve been waiting for all this time.

It’s him.

Kai.

His features are unmistakable now. The curve of his smile, the sharpness of his eyes, the way he stands with that quiet confidence you’ve come to know so well. Your breath hitches, and for a moment, it feels like the ground beneath you has vanished. All the tension, all the confusion you've carried with you all this time, falls away as realization crashes into you like a tidal wave.

This isn’t just a dream. This is the truth, the answer to every question you've had for so long. The person you’ve been yearning for, the soulmate you've been waiting to meet—is Kai. He always has been.

And just as this revelation settles deep within you, a strange, familiar pull tugs at your chest. The world around you begins to dissolve, and you feel yourself being torn away from this clarity, back into the murkiness of sleep.

Across the expanse of sleep, Kai stirs in his own dream. For weeks, he’s been seeing a shadowy figure, indistinct, almost impossible to grasp, lingering just out of reach. In the beginning, he assumed it was his ex-soulmate, the one who had rejected him so painfully. That figure—still shrouded in mystery—haunted him every night, dredging up emotions he’d long buried.

But tonight… tonight, everything changes.

The figure in his dream shifts, becoming clearer in a way he’s never seen before. The edges grow sharper, the outline of the person coming into focus with each passing second. His breath hitches in his sleep as he tries to make sense of it. He reaches for the figure, just as he’s done so many times before, desperate for clarity.

And then, the figure’s face is unmistakable.

It’s you.

He sits up suddenly, heart hammering in his chest. The dream isn’t just a flash of the past anymore—it’s you. It always has been. The face he’s been searching for, the one that’s been haunting him in the shadows, was you. Not his ex. Not a distant memory.

The realization is so sudden, so sharp, it almost feels like a physical blow. The dream slips away, leaving him awake and breathless in his bed. His heart races, thumping painfully as he processes what he’s just learned. The figure he’s been seeing—he’d thought it was someone else, but it was you all along. The connection, the bond, the love he thought had been lost to him—it’s been with you from the beginning. He doesn’t know how but he isn’t complaining. For once it felt like the universe was listening to him.

You wake, your pulse still erratic, your mind tangled in the remnants of your dream. You stare at the ceiling, still reeling from the shock of seeing Kai in the dream so clearly. How did you not know? How did you miss it before?

And then, like a jolt of electricity, the buzzing of your phone breaks through the haze of your thoughts. You glance at the screen, seeing Kai’s name flash across it, and for a moment, you hesitate. Could he have…?

You pick up the phone, your voice trembling. “Hello?”

There’s a pause, heavy with the unspoken. You can feel the rawness in his voice before he even speaks. “I—” He swallows, the words difficult to form, you could hear him panting as if he just ran miles. “I need to see you. Can you open your door?”

Your heart skips. You already know. You both woke up with the same realization, and the gravity of it weighs down on you, pulling at your chest.

“I’ll be right there,” you manage to say, barely able to steady your breath.

You rush to the door, your pulse quickening as you open it before he even knocks. There he is, standing in the hallway, his form framed by the dim light from the corridor. His eyes meet yours, filled with a blend of vulnerability and uncertainty, and you feel the weight of everything unspoken between you. Without a word, he steps inside, the door softly closing behind him.

For a long moment, neither of you speaks. The silence between you is thick, a heavy fog of unspoken words and emotions. You can’t seem to catch your breath. Your mind is still spinning with everything you've just realized, and you feel his presence in a way you never have before.

Finally, Kai breaks the silence, his voice quiet but urgent. “I don’t know what this means for us,” he admits. “But I know that… I don’t want to lose this. I don’t want to lose you.”

His words shake you, and you feel a lump form in your throat. You’ve been holding your emotions in check for so long, and now, standing here in the reality of what you’ve just learned, it feels like it’s all crashing down on you.

“I don’t want to lose you either,” you reply, your voice shaking. But then the doubt creeps in, and you can’t stop yourself from asking, “But… Kai, what if this isn’t just some dream? What if we’re just convincing ourselves it’s real?”

Kai steps closer, his gaze steady, unwavering. “We don’t need to convince ourselves, do we?” His voice is low, sincere. “What we have is real. It might not be the perfect soulmate connection we always imagined, but it’s ours. We’ve built something here. Haven’t we?”

The truth hits you like a wave. He’s right. Everything you’ve shared, everything you’ve felt—it’s not just fantasy. It’s real. And it has been all along. The bond between you is undeniable, even if it doesn’t fit the mold of what you thought soulmates should be.

“I guess… we don’t have to figure this out right now, do we?” you say, taking a step closer to him. “We can just… let it be.”

Kai’s smile is small, bittersweet, and filled with so much unsaid emotion. “Yeah. We can just let it be.”

And in that moment, you both understand. The connection between you, the pull you’ve both felt—it doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be real.

Kai reaches out, his hand tentative but sure. You don’t pull away. Instead, you let him take your hand, fingers weaving together in a silent promise. His thumb brushes over your knuckles, sending warmth racing through you, and you look up at him, the question hanging in the air between you.

Do you want this?

The answer is clear as you lean in, your lips meeting his in a kiss that is gentle, soft, as if you’re both tasting the truth for the first time. The kiss deepens, fueled by everything you’ve been holding back, the emotions you’ve been too afraid to voice. His arms pull you closer, and you lose yourself in the moment, in the warmth, in the certainty that, finally, everything has fallen into place.

When the kiss finally breaks, neither of you pulls away. You’re both breathless, your foreheads pressed together, feeling the weight of everything that has just shifted between you.

Kai’s voice is a whisper, barely audible, but you hear it clearly. “I’ve been waiting for this—for you—for so long.”

You smile softly, your hand over his heart, feeling the rhythm of it beneath your palm. “Me too,” you whisper back.

And in that moment, it all clicks. This isn’t just a kiss. This is the culmination of everything you’ve built. Everything you’ve both waited for. It’s not a fantasy anymore. It’s real. You’ve found each other.

The kiss lingers between you like the soft echo of a song you never wanted to end. It’s not just a kiss—it’s a silent admission, a wordless promise, a release of everything that has been building between you, unspoken and hidden. Kai pulls back just slightly, but the weight of his gaze on yours feels as if he’s reaching into the deepest corners of your soul. There’s something in his eyes, something that tells you everything, yet nothing at all.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to say,” Kai begins, his voice a whisper, as fragile as the air between you. The tension in his voice—so raw, so vulnerable—sends a shiver through you. “Even before all of this… even before we realized what we meant to each other, I—” He stumbles over his words, his breath coming in shallow bursts, like someone standing on the edge of a precipice, afraid to fall.

You take a step closer, reaching for him, your hand finding his, grounding him, grounding yourself. You can feel his pulse, racing in sync with yours, the rhythm of your hearts mirroring the storm inside both of you. You offer him your silence, a soft encouragement that says everything without a word. “You can tell me anything, Kai,” you murmur, your voice steady, even as your heart flutters wildly within your chest.

He closes his eyes, as though gathering every shred of courage to speak the words that have been locked inside him for so long. Then, when his eyes meet yours again, they are filled with the weight of a thousand unspoken thoughts, and his next words come out like a confession he’s been carrying since the first moment he laid eyes on you.

“I’m falling for you,” he says, the words tumbling from his lips, as soft as the first rain of spring but as heavy as the storms they promise. “I think I have been for a while. And I… I don’t want to hide from it anymore.”

Your heart stops for a beat, and then it races, thudding loudly in your ears, so strong and steady that it feels like the sound of an ancient drum calling you home. Every part of you trembles at his admission, the truth of it sinking into your bones, as though he’s just pulled the rug out from under your feet and you’re left floating, weightless and free.

You can feel it too. You always have. It’s like a quiet fire, smoldering in your chest, a warmth that grows and flickers every time he’s near. And now, with his words, it explodes. The fire consumes you. You are lost in it, but somehow, it’s the only place you want to be.

“Kai,” you whisper, your voice shaky with the weight of your own confession. Your hands tremble as they reach up to touch his face, your fingers brushing against his skin like the softest touch of wind on a still day. “I’m falling for you too. I didn’t want to admit it at first, but…” The words catch in your throat, but you push them out, letting them flow like a river breaking free from its banks. “I’ve never felt more sure of anything in my life.”

The world seems to still in that moment. The doubts, the fears, the questions—they all vanish like smoke in the wind. There’s only the quiet certainty that settles in your chest, heavier than any burden you’ve carried before. You know this is right. You know it in the deepest part of your soul.

Kai’s smile is soft, almost hesitant, but it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. His thumb brushes over your cheek, so gentle, so tender, like a promise, like a vow. The warmth of his touch is the kind of warmth you’ve been searching for your whole life, the kind that fills every crack in your heart and makes it whole again. “We’re not alone anymore, are we?” he murmurs, his voice a low, soothing hum in the quiet of the room.

“No,” you breathe, your voice steady now, stronger than you ever imagined it could be. “We’re not.”

In that simple exchange, something inside you both shifts. You no longer need to search for the answers to what’s been confusing you. You no longer need to chase what was never truly lost. The future is no longer an uncertain road ahead. It’s the path you’re walking together, one step at a time, hand in hand.

There’s a new understanding between you now, one that doesn’t require words. You’ve built something, not out of fate, but out of choice. You’ve created this bond from the ground up, in the moments where you bled and healed and trusted each other, even when it seemed like the world was telling you it wasn’t meant to be.

And just like that, you understand. Soulmates aren’t found in dreams. They’re not a perfect match sewn together by some divine plan. Soulmates are born from the jagged pieces of your life—broken, messy, imperfect—and when the time is right, those pieces fit together in a way that makes everything else fade away.

Soulmates are made in the waking world, when two people choose to find each other in the chaos, when they choose to heal the wounds of the past with the love they build from the ground up. They are made from the moments of doubt and pain, the moments of laughter and joy, and the quiet moments when you realize that this, this connection, is something you’ve created.

The kiss that follows is everything you’ve ever needed. It’s not just another kiss; it’s the culmination of years of searching, of longing, of waiting for the right person. It’s the promise of all the tomorrows you will share, and the soft surrender of all the yesterdays you’ve held onto.

When your lips finally part, you rest your forehead against Kai’s, breathing each other in, as if the world outside of this room has ceased to exist. His voice, a mere whisper, breaks the silence, but this time, there is no hesitation. “I’ve been waiting for this—for you—for so long.”

A tear slips down your cheek, but it’s not one of sadness. It’s a tear of release, of acceptance, of peace. You smile softly, the weight of your own heart finally finding rest. “Me too,” you whisper back, your voice full of everything you couldn’t say before.

Soulmates don’t have to be something you find—they are something you choose to become. Something you create, piece by piece, through every laugh, every tear, and every step you take together. And as you lean into Kai, your heart steady in its rhythm, you know this is just the beginning of a love that bends all odds, one that goes beyond fate’s grasp.

Rei's Notes ✎: It's here!! To be honest, I don't feel as proud with the finished product as I thought I was but I really hope you would still like it. I'm so proud to have put this idea to life and I couldn't have done it without the amazing people who also partook in this event. They are so talented and I had so much fun with them. Make sure to check out everyone else's stories and give them your thoughts too~ Happy Valentine's Day you lovelies <3

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