#well that's a new tag

[hurtmyfavsthanks]

Whumptember day 9

“This was always going to happen” Doomed relationship | Opposing sides | Fatal wound Content warning: Whumpee death, murder

Pitiful.

It was the only word Assassin could think of as they gazed into Villain’s dingy cell. They looked pitiful, curled in the corner, still wearing the tattered remains of what’d once been their uniform. The guards hadn’t bothered to give them a bed, hadn’t bothered to uncuff them, probably hadn’t bothered to feed them in the near week they’d been held captive.

Assassin pitied them, and the feeling fueled something close to anger, something closer to grief in their chest. They knew it was hypocritical, but the sight made Assassin want nothing more than to break every hand that’d dared to hurt their villain.

But that wasn’t what they’d been ordered to do.

Assassin made quick work of the lock. Even in the dark of the prison, their trained fingers guided them. They were in the cell within less than a minute. When they allowed the door to click shut behind them, Villain stirred. Their eyes opened blearily, taking a long moment to adjust to the darkness. When they did however, they turned, sharp as ever, directly to Assassin. For the first time, Assassin got a look at their face.

They looked horrible. Their face was gaunt, a nasty cut running across the bridge of their nose, the blood dried and flaking. Still, they gave Assassin a smile.“Well hello there. You're a sight for sore eyes.”

The sight froze Assassin in place. There was something nostalgic about seeing them again, even if Assassin had seen them less than a month ago. It hurt to see them in such a state, it hurt to see them at all. The air between them was silent, a tension of something unspoken, numbing Assassin’s tongue. They couldn’t speak.

Villain mirthless laugh broke the silence. “Well, I suppose there are worse ways to die,” they tilted their head, gaze almost gentle. “I’d rather it be you than any of those heroes.”

It only made Assassin's heart ache more. “You…you know why I’m here. I’m sorry.”

“Of course. Supervillain would never leave a loose end,” they shrugged as best they could with their wrists bound behind them. Their tone was light, artificially so. Something sour lied underneath. “I’ve never been the most useful, I knew what would happen if I were captured.”

Assassin had known as well, because it was their job to handle situations like this. They’d killed dozens in the same way. A dingy cell, a defeated villain. A quick cut to the throat, clean and ruthless, and nothing but a cold body left behind. They’d done their work without issue for years, and they’d never lost sleep over it.

But that had been before they met Villain. The cunning, cocky bastard who was insufferable as they were lovable. They should have known better, they did know better, than to allow themselves to have feelings for a pawn. They’d been a fool, and they were paying the consequences.

Villain had outlived their usefulness, and Assassin was there to kill them.

Assassin's jaw tightened. "We could just leave. You just have to ask, and–"

“You can’t,” For the first time that night, Villain’s voice hardened with an uncharacteristic seriousness. “If you don't kill me, Supervillain will send someone else to finish the job, and you'll be next. We'll both be dead in a week."

“…I know,” Assassin whispered. They weren’t Supervillain’s only assassin, not even their best one. They were just as dependable as Villain.

Villain's smiled, the expression almost reaching their eyes."Then stop standing there and come over already,” Their shoulder’s shifted uncomfortably, cuffs clicking, as they turned their back to Assassin. “I’m not dying with these things on, so hurry up.”

Assassin’s body moved on instinct at the command. They kneeled beside Villain, gently taking their bound hands into their own. They could see the marks on Villain’s wrists, red and painful from where they’d pulled against their restraints.

They made quick work of the lock, and Villain sighed dramatically once they were freed. “Finally–” They stretched, shoulders popping painfully. “You have no idea how uncomfortable that was.”

Assassin didn’t respond.

After a long moment, Villain signed, turning. “Darling, this was always going to happen. You can’t go soft on me now,” They reached a hand to Assassin’s face, and Assassin leaned into the touch. “We all have a reason for joining; I won’t have you throwing away your plans for me,”

But what if their plans had changed? What if Villain had changed them, what if they wanted more than the power Supervillain offered? Assassin didn’t know, and they no longer had time to find the answer. They simply nodded, pulling Villain closer. Their lips connected as they clung to each other, their embrace desperate and mournful, full of unspoken words.

It took no effort to pull their knife from its sheath, nor to thread the gaps between Villain’s ribcage to pierce their heart.

They felt the painful jolt as Villain’s body moved on instinct, pulling away from the intrusion. Assassin held them, feeling each faltering heartbeat vibrate through their blade, feeling Villain’s choked gasps against their mouth. Assassin felt Villain’s hands tighten around them, nails digging into their back. They could taste Villain’s blood in their mouth.

And then that grip went slack, and that gasp faded into a sign, and Villain was gone.

It was hours before Assassin could let go, before they could collect themselves enough to slip out as they’d come, undetected. They felt Villain’s blood trying against their skin, and knew they’d never be able to wash it away.

They didn’t cry. They didn’t deserve to.

[blametheeditor]

*COUGH*

You should, uh, totally to a DreamSMP 800 word fic to repay me for all those FNaF years

*COUGH*

🤭

I now have proof! Blame the editor, it's all their fault!

Content Warnings: Cursing. Mentions of treating people as pets. Mentions of being ignored. Mentions of being talked over. IRL versions of characters/people

______________________________

“Come on, Phil, we’ll be careful!” 

The blond haired man narrows his eyes at Wilbur standing a few inches away, hands cupped together, an innocent smile on his face. One glance at Tommy standing on his toes in order to aim puppy-eyes over the taller man’s shoulder shows the act for what it really is. 

Phil knew meeting in real life without a screen separating them would lead to this. It was inevitable with two of the most rambunctious members of the DreamSMP figuring out that while they’re giants, the Dadza of the group isn’t. 

“Oi, I’m not something to hold and pet, mate.”

He was worried about agreeing to see them. Because as much as he enjoys their company and vise versa, he had figured out long ago the two haven’t interacted with many humans. 

And even if they had, they’re still little shits, and Phil is prepared to end up in a pocket at some point during this meeting. 

The blond man will admit, he wasn’t interacted with many giants, either. Not that he has anything against them, but it’s more of an awed respect. Happy his soulmate ended up standing at the same height as him instead of towering like his two sons do. One of his two sons, but they’re the ones currently in front of him. 

He tenses as Wilbur’s fingers curl in, staring at the fact they’re taller than him. Well aware he could be swallowed within the grasp. Because unfortunately, the brunette is a giant among giants, and why do they have to be so bloody tall. He’s barely above Wilbur’s waist on the platform meant to make conversations level between the two counterparts. 

“Phil,” Wilbur rumbles, slowly straightening up as a genuine look appears. “Did you really think we’d just treat you like a pet?” 

Tommy suddenly becomes panicked, taking a step back to give the miniature man some space. “We wouldn’t do that! You’re Philza! Someone who’d ground us if we ever pulled shit like that!” 

Phil blinks as the two boys pull away to give him room. Stares at the fact Tommy might be joking, but there’s a distinct tone of hurt in his voice. Wilbur’s smile no longer reaching his eyes. No longer excited when it’s clear that, yes, he did think that. 

“You have to understand,” he begins. Watches as neither attempt to interrupt him despite being easily able to. No hand reaching over to pluck him up without asking if he’d be okay with it. 

Well, is he Philza Minecraft or not? 

“Give me your hand.” 

Wilbur offers a lazy smirk. “Phil-” 

“Hand.” 

The two giants share a look like they normally do when they’re about to get in trouble before the brunette finally extends his hand, lying it palm down on the platform. 

Phil looks at it. Looks up at the two with a disappointed expression. Both of them jump slightly. 

They’re frozen until Tommy leans over toward Wilbur to stage whisper. “I, uh, thinks he wants it the other way.” 

“Oh!” The hand is lifted up in order to curl all the fingers in, save for the middle one. “Like this?” 

Phil feels his poker face slip as Tommy guffaws. Not as loud as usual, though. Mindful of the fact their internet father is able to go deaf. “Ha, ha.” 

“I thought that’s what you wanted,” Wilbur murmurs, sounding anything but sorry. Before Phil can say no, it wasn’t, and the brunette knows it, the hand is finally set down palm up. An invitation to climb on. 

There’s no hesitation this time. He trusts them. There’s a reason why he agreed to meet them despite the teasing remarks of ‘we’ll have a pocket Philza’ and ‘just wait until we stand too far away we won’t be able to hear you grounding us’. Because that’s what family does. 

They also make him trip to tumble head over heels because they weren’t expecting the odd feeling of someone walking on their hand so they twitch in surprise. 

“Shit!” 

There’s not enough time to orient himself. Before he can tell which way is up, it feels like an elevator went up much too quickly, leaving him even more confused as something nudges his side. Freezes up because all he can see are brown eyes as big as his head only a foot away. 

“You okay, Phil?” 

The blond man in question attempts to respond. Ignore the fact the question rattles him to his core. Well aware that he far away from the platform, and now completely at the giant’s mercy. 

“R-Real close, mate.” 

He can’t see anything other then the eye crinkling in what he can assume is a smirk. “Yeah, you’re okay.” 

“Wil, you’re shit at holding at holding humans, “ Tommy pipes up from beyond his world of only Wilbur. Even as Phil attempts to back away for a bit of space, he encounters fingers blocking him in. “Phil, let a real man hold you!” 

Finally, the giant moves away, and Phil is left to feel as if he was left behind as the hand drops quicker than gravity can catch up. A small ‘oof’ escapes as he’s held close to Wilbur’s chest, the in famous yellow sweater helping him figure just where the hell he is. 

“Come on, Toms. You’re a gremlin. Who knows what you’d do.” 

“I’d hold him safely and not let the man trip you prick!” 

“I wasn’t-” 

“Boys.” 

Phil sighs in relief as the banter immediately stops. Both looking down at him. They’re a lot, especially while he’s trapped between them, and therefore it’s making his heart go a million miles per hours, but the expressions aren’t out of anger or annoyance at being interrupted. 

They’re concerned. “Let your brother have a turn, Wilbur.” 

Tommy’s small ‘yes!’ as a playful groan is given by Wilbur. And while Phila might’ve been worried about getting plucked up to be transferred over, maybe the hand tilting to recreate his tumble from before, two hands are held close to the one slowly lifted so he can walk over. 

And this time, he doesn’t trip. 

Phil curses as Tommy does exactly what the brunette did and lifts him up in order for blue eyes to inspect him. “You’re a tiny thing, Philza.” 

“Not as tiny as you, Tommy.” 

“Oi, I’m a big man!” 

The blond man feels dread slowly creep into his heart at the realization another argument is about to start, with him yet again in the middle. He adores the two, but before it took a lot out of him to keep them under control. Now he’s miniscule compared to them, without the option to mute or turn down the volume, and- 

“So, about that restaurant we talked about.” 

Phil meets Wilbur’s questioning gaze. Looks over at Tommy patiently waiting for him to respond. Remembers they planned a nice and uneventful day. 

“Lunch sounds lovely.” 

He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but as Tommy carefully turned toward the direction Wilbur indicated, he feels himself get softly jolted with each step. He’s just glad to find himself held against the blond’s chest to ensure he doesn’t fall. 

Phil carefully peeks past the protective fingers acting as a guard rail. “This is a lot faster than walking.” 

“We’ll carry you anywhere you want to go.” 

“Thanks, mate.” Phil leans back against the fingers. Stretches out before putting his hands behind his head as Tommy watches his movements with fascination. “Mind picking me up for work, tomorrow? Save me a ton on gas.” 

The giant sputters. “What! No!” 

“But you said you’d take him anywhere!” Wilbur chimes in, a gasp announcing how offended he is at Tommy already going against his word. “Look at Phil! He’s devastated you dare lie to him!” 

“I didn’t lie I’m just not waking up at the fucking crack of dawn!” 

“Phil, let me carry you. Clearly Tommy doesn’t have integrity if his beauty sleep is more important.” 

Why did he ever doubt his giants before? 

[captain-liminal]

(57/10,000)

A bit far to go I guess

Block damage for your Favorite Shitty Media (0/10,000).

[anna-scribbles]

emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀

more:

[gerrykeay]

im not putting this post into words. beams into your mind The Parallels

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[bacchuschucklefuck]

class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

[shrimpyjackal]

Hazel and timmy 😲✨

He gives me the vibes of an uncle that you met 2 times, but man that was awesome

[viveela]

Some assorted hazbin doodles... hazboodles

[verflares]

i thought i felt your shape, but i was wrong. really all i felt was falsely strong, i held on tight and closed my eyes. it was dumb, i had no sense of your size. it was dumb to hold so tight.

also on inprnt :]

[sunshine-zenith]

Maybe it’s because I just spent the last four days watching my sister’s toddlers while mildly sleep deprived, but I gotta say Peri has PEAK “childfree young adult who was the youngest person in their family naively volunteers to watch recalcitrant child assuming they’d automatically be The Cool Adult Relative only to realize they have no idea how to balance being indulgent with being responsible and gets overwhelmed within five minutes” energy

10/10 I have never felt so seen by a cartoon before

[sainz100]

2024 Brazilian GP | x

[pinacoladamatata]

blink and you'll miss it moments around skyhold....

[swankshrimp]

This came to me in a dream

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sublime Equine.

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[cobaltfluff]

sasuga my ace detective mind-reading soulmate, I knew I could trust you