#well something got written at least
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Danny Phantom, Hellblazer & Related Fandoms Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: John Constantine & Danny Fenton, Danny Fenton & Frostbite Characters: Danny Fenton, John Constantine, Frostbite (Danny Phantom) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ghost Cores (Danny Phantom), John Constantine is a Mess, constantine is danny fentons dad, kind of it's complicated, ghosts can get extra parents-for fun and as a treat, lore about the yetis, no beta we die like danny, Not Beta Read, it is so funny to me to imagine that the yetis have all these medical diagrams that are so so old Series: Part 2 of The DC and Phantom ones Summary:
John Constantine sold his soul as often as he had to. Came with the job of wanting the earth to keep spinning and people to keep living. Demons bought his soul just as often because if you couldn't even get a deal out of Constantine, what kind of demon were you anyway?
Danny was just minding his own business tripping in the portal and it just so happened that shortly before he opened the portal on top of himself, a demon had discarded the latest shard of Constantine's soul in the zone on their way to the hells. Nobody has a say in this and nobody is really happy with it either.
@stealingyourbones
#head in hands#well something got written at least#dpxdc#john Constantine stop selling your soul goddammit
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WIP FRIDAY
I apologize for getting this out two days late, I’ve been busy with lots of packing and events! But I have a little reprieve, so I wanted to post another WIP; this one is from Heart Full, Bowl Empty.
BE AWARE THAT THIS SEGMENT INVOLVES A CONVERSATION REVOLVING AROUND UNWILLING BUT INTENTIONAL STARVATION. I know there are people who say they can’t read this fic because of themes like this, so be aware of this before reading this WIP!!
I included this snippet in today’s WIP because I have like three versions of the entire segment this snippet is from. I feel like it’s a really important segment with a really important conversation, and I’ve had a hard time balancing all the emotions the way I want to between Ingo and Akari, with frustration, sadness, anger, and empathy, to realistically get them to the resolution I want at the end of it.
The final version will probably only include a few parts from this particular segment.
Enjoy!!
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“I knew it! You’re doing it again!” Akari’s eyebrows scrunched, trying to understand through the frustration. “You said you wouldn’t!”
“Circumstances will improve soon.” Clearly done with the conversation, that was all Ingo said, but it was confession enough that he had fallen back on his word. Shame contaminated his voice, but if there was any regret, he hid it well.
“No, it won’t!” They were not even half-way through winter yet. “And you know it won’t!”
Ingo said nothing as the kits carefully moved around his slumped form, finding comfortable places to settle around him. She didn’t know if he intended to snuff the conversation out with angered silence, or if he was just too exhausted to care about arguing with her anymore. If it wasn’t for his small occasional signs of movement or acknowledgement, she’d think he was actually sleeping.
Akari carefully stepped into the nesting layers, moving to sit down next to Ingo. She settled with her back against the cavern wall, pulling her knees close as a few kits shuffled around to accommodate her. “You know I’m right.”
Huffing out an irritated sigh and nothing more, it didn’t seem like Ingo had any intentions to engage with her argument anymore.
“You couldn’t even pull yourself up over the ridge,” She prodded at him again, trying to motivate more conversation out of him. “I had to help you!”
“There are many, many factors that go into that.” A reluctant answer, perhaps a reflexive attempt to quell her worry; Ingo feebly rubbed his wrapped hand, almost as a display for his excuse.
“I’ve seen you do more when you’ve been hurt worse.” Akari retorted, a little softer now but still cold.
Ingo’s eyes remained closed, though his hardened expression implied that it came across as more accusatory than she’d intended. But perhaps it was precisely the time to be accusatory.
“Ingo, you’re so tired all the time now – you stopped coming to the training grounds because you just can’t make the trips all the time anymore! And you’re sleeping so much more than you used to, and it’s like you’re always hungry all the time, even though all I see you doing anymore is gathering food!” Akari’s voice grew more jagged as she continued to jab at him, entirely uninterrupted.
It was getting difficult. With Ingo’s tunic still sopping by the bucket, still somewhat red from the exhausted effort of washing out the blood, it could not hide the ribs that pressed out just a little bit more, or help fill out what the waistline had lost under the loosening belt. The abject dread of directly acknowledging that was too much.
“And- and look! You aren’t even willing to hold a conversation with me anymore, and I don’t know if it’s because you just won’t, or because you can’t!” The kits shifted uncomfortably as Akari retreated back into her own frustration instead. “People think you’re sick, Ingo! They’re asking me about you! What are you doing?”
The exhausted man remained where he laid in the nesting material, only moving his hands to rub at his face and sigh — a deep, forced sigh that swelled his side before releasing. Akari almost didn’t think he’d answer her, but with some effort, he propped himself up first onto his elbows, then slumped forward. The teen watched him run shaky fingers through his hair as he sat next to her.
“…I don’t know what I should do.” The guilt. The weary guilt cracked his voice and tore Akari’s anger down to heartache.
#ref for fic#BE AWARE THIS IS DISCUSSING INTENTIONAL BUT UNWILLING STARVATION#tw starvation#just in case#cause I know not everyone vibes with this story#and I’ll say it’s been weird myself returning to these segments I wrote months ago and re-reading them#AND TO BE MORE CAREFUL I talk about a personal situation sort of dealing with this below#a lot has happened in the timeframe of originally writing this and coming back to this#at the end of fall I got very very sick and it lasted well into February#I unwillingly shed thirty-five pounds because I could not eat#and I didn’t notice at all until I stopped and realized just how tight I had to make my work belt#even when family members pointed it out during the holidays when they’d hug me#it wasn’t until someone got very concerned and did something about it that I realized just how bad it was#I’m sure people remember when I mentioned I had gastritis#that’s what all this was I just never really went into detail about how bad it truely was here#so coming back and reading this segment specifically#having written it months before I went through any of this#felt really really weird and a little uncomfortable#I edited Akari’s accusations a little to fit my situation more about a month back#because I did not realize just how much more stuff like this would make you want to sleep#at least in my experience#but it’s been very very just#strange I guess coming back to this#it doesn’t make me want to not work on HFBE anymore it just feels very weird
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hi 🥺
#guys don’t throw stones at me#BUT I’M BACK!!!!!!#mainly because I’m finally reaching the end of the semester and I started missing this blog especially with the holidays nigh#I haven’t written something in ages and I was getting so nostalgic with my old stories#I’ve just got exams to get over but I’ve been keeping up well so I’ll be back soon!!!#ik loads of people are still excited for to turn a bad thing good so I’m definitely writing that very soon#I’ve had at least 1/3 of the third chapter written but I haven’t visited the doc in a while#also I’ve decided to finally let my boyfriend read some of my stories so it’s really him who brought me back to writing#everyone shall thank him ❤️#sammy files
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It's been more than 20 years and for some reason I feel that Gosho hasn't given Kaiao any development, how can more than 20 years pass and Aoko dynamics, relationship and feelings remain the same? At this point I feel like Gosho is just going to make them date because "they already liked each other" they remain in the same status quo
Hey, if we go by DC romance progress, they've been going too fast. We've already had suspicion of identity chapters, and that didn't happen until more than 400 chapters in DC. /j
Since heists have taken over any character development recently, I don't even know if Kaito and Aoko will even get any romantic progress. Maybe the actual identity confrontation will happen down the line, since that's thief drama, but atm, it really wouldn't surprise me if they only ask each other on a real date at the very end of the manga.
Like. I'm sure Gosho would love to make MK a love drama as well, but he writes MK so rarely, and usually as hype for something Kid related in other media. So the MK stories tend to be heavy on drama that can only take place at Kid heists. (To the point that the new chapters just. Use Kid as the plot device to show off a new character. Even Hakuba's never gotten so much 'look at this character being a detective' treatment in MK.)
-sighs- I just feel bad for MK as a series at this point. I like the characters, I like the general story idea, but. It's been going down a very steep hill with Gosho wanting things exciting, but not wanting any real progress in. Anything. But unlike old MK, the new stories aren't even nice standalone setpieces of story, they're... mundane. They could be high stakes, if you purely look at the scenarios on paper, but. We all know nothing's gonna happen to Kid. Nothing even happens to him when the actual bad guys show up, much less one-time antagonists.
We need actual character focus and development, not heist drama. Badly. Not even romance, though that'd be a nice change. Just any character expansion of our limited cast of characters. Gosho wants big, all the time, meaningless big stuff, when small would be so nice.
#And also he probably won't care to expand on KaiAo when he knows it's already canon#Like; not in the same way that ShinRan is canon endgame and he just needed to write it out#But in a 'I said these two were dating in another manga; they will exist even if I haven't written it'#And his story atm does feel like it could be left off with an ambiguous note on if they're together or not#And then just leave them dating in Yaiba for people who care about confirmation#MK is not in a stable enough state; I really don't know what he's planning with anything#And it's been so. -gestures to all the 'meaningless big stuff'- lately#I don't know if it'll ever get any shift in focus in the future#We barely get anything; all we have now is a new character people are divided about#And the tiniest continuity of Aoko thinking to herself that Kid is teasing her by reminding her of Kaito#Like; part of the problem is continuity as well; at least if Gosho wants to stick with DC-ish MK#MK has all the potential for callbacks or returning characters that could be interesting#But none of the potential that fans enjoy is ever /used/#We got all our KaiAo up front. We have suspicion arcs where it's barely mentioned that Kaito's proven his innocence in the past#They could go back to the amusement park and Aoko could mention the movie and Kaito can be sweating#Because he never saw the movie; that's then he peaced out to go heisting#There's so much. Gosho's good at adding potential to his story#But everything he comes up with to make canon ends up disappointing because he never fully uses any of it#He just adds more and more elements that go nowhere#MK is a mess that gets more and more fun to play around in; but the actual chapters are. Bad#Which might be for a reason similar to DC of we wait so long and get something extremely meh#Except instead of the months between DC cases; it's years for MK; and DC fans complain the entire time#So when MK fans are fed crumbs of... anything. It's just not as enjoyable as new content should be#(I got rambly in tags; sorry ;._. )
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again and again i find myself lamenting that audio roleplay isn't taken more seriously by some people. like yeah, they often have a romantic element, and by nature they usually directly involve/address the listener- and i totally get that those things aren't to everyone's taste. no art or entertainment is universally appealing, and that's okay! but.. it still makes me a lil sad that the "cringe" reputation of asmr/audio rp precedes it. there's a whole lot of talent and creativity being poured into these audios by so many people that i feel goes unrecognized and/or disrespected simply due to the medium that the stories are being told through.
#this post brought to you by: me bingeing Sam & Darlin's entire storyline over the past few days and having a Lot of feelings abt it#asmr#audio roleplay#rp audio stuff#redacted audio#anyways i don't have a conclusion to this post. and i'm not Mad or Upset or anything i'm just thinkin' out loud#and i mean it's not like it doesn't get plenty of praise within its respective audience bc it does. at least for the more popular creators#but i feel it'll still always have the shadow of its cringe reputation looming over it#which makes it hard for some ppl to openly appreciate or share with others that aren't already fans of the medium#like do u know how many comments i've seen along the lines of 'this is great but i'd die if anyone knew i liked this kinda stuff' ?? :(#idk maybe i feel strongly about it bc i'm a self-insert fanfic writer. and i feel like the two have a lot in common. including a bad rep.#like. not every audio will be well-written or produced and neither will every fanfic. but that doesn't mean it's a less legitimate artform#and i'm lucky to have never (yet) received negative comments on my work. but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make me sigh when people-#-say shit like 'this reads like fanfiction' as a way of calling something bad. or other similar sentiments that make the same implication#and i wouldn't be surprised if audio creators feel the same way when they encounter certain comments or statements#like. those YT videos where ppl will 'try bf asmr for the first time' or whatever and it's just 20 mins of cringing and over-reacting? eugh#tbf i haven't watched many bc why do that to myself. so Maybe there's some that are respectful but still. imagine getting roasted like that#and yes yes i know that by posting stuff online you're inadvertently sighing up to be criticized by Anyone but still. man. i dunno#i'm going on a tangent but my point is. i'm grateful for the creators that still make their art in spite of the public's perception of it#bc some of the most impactful emotional experiences i've ever gained from fiction took place in audio rp and i'm so serious abt that.#anyways. this post almost feels like i'm 'making up a person to be mad at' but i promise it's not that serious i'm just yapping. mostly.#certainly not trying to start any kind of debate or anything either i just have a lot of fixation-induced energy and nowhere to put it#this is Eric's fault (/lh) for cooking Sam up in a lab catered exactly to my taste and making Darlin' waaaaay too painfully relatable#but it's also My fault for bingeing the Inversion /and/ the Quinn arc /and/ the Summit all within a couple days. but i can't help myself#feels like i've run an emotional marathon. triathlon. The Emotional Olympics if u will. i'm feeling Everything#who knew that beating the shit out of ur fictional abuser could feel so goddamn cathartic! it's a nice replacement when u can't do it irl#anyways i'm off on a tangent again. thanks for coming to my TED Talk i'm gonna crawl back in my hole now#actually i'm gonna go relisten to a few audios. as Research for my Sam & Darlin' playlist as well as a post i'll be making about it soon#u Know i've got it bad when i not only make a playlist but start Posting on here about the songs that remind me of them. i'm cooked guys.
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O'Knutzy Week 2024 Day 2
DAY 2, LETS GO! (Still a scheduled post, I'm getting excited for the future)
As always thanks to @lumosinlove for being amazing, and thanks to @oknutzy-week-2024 for doing all this!
Out comes part 2 of the fic I wrote for the Romance Novels category, this time with all three boys! Enjoy, y'all! (cough cough, I gave Leo a traditional SC/GA accent which is what I grew up around instead of a NOLA accent, cough cough)
Summary: Leo wakes up to find himself on his own, and he decides to spend his morning reading a very specific book that Finn and Logan recognize...
Characters: Leo Knut, Finn O'Hara, Logan Tremblay
Warnings: Implied/referenced sexual content, cursing, they're sad bois for a bit
Word Count: 2,609 (Preview of 352 under cut)
Leo woke up to the sun filtering through Finn’s thin curtains. It must have been later than he was used to waking up, especially with the early days of summer feeling like an endless well of time and… Leo’s arms flailed around, searching for Logan and Finn, finding the bed a vast sea of empty white sheets. Now that Leo’s consciousness returned more, he realized that the bed was cold without two heavy weights next to him. Leo sat up groggily, voice croaking out to call for them, but his words echoed into what felt like void. Panic started to rise in his chest, but he shook himself awake enough to squash it quickly. It had been the first time in almost a month he had woken up alone, and he found himself contemplating if the last year and a half had been a dream. The distinct smell of Logan’s cologne and the sight of Finn’s books piled on the bedside table made Leo groan in relief. It’s not fake, they’re just not here, Leo told himself, pressing his eyes closed tightly. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, reaching blindly for his phone and ended up hitting the books on the bedside table. Leo winced as books tumbled onto the floor, but decided to grab his phone instead of righting them immediately. Leo glanced down, blinking rapidly so his eyes could focus, and saw a text from Finn pop up from almost an hour beforehand at 9:00 AM saying he and Logan were going to go grab bagels and to call when he woke up. Leo stared at his background image for a moment. It was of Finn and Logan in the locker room after they had won the cup, champagne flying around them. They were standing with Finn’s head on Logan’s chest and Logan pressing a hard kiss onto the top of his head. Leo had never told them he’d taken it, but it had been the best moment in Leo’s entire life. Leo smiled and laughed giddily, before clicking open his phone and calling Logan.
#finn o'hara#logan tremblay#leo knut#o'knutzy#breakaway lumosinlove#vaincre lumosinlove#coast to coast lumosinlove#sweater weather lumosinlove#lumosinlove#o'knutzy week 2024#*deep sigh*#I've had to make this post approximately 7 times#I might actually murder something#it might just be myself#scheduling this shit has been actually so fucking painful#which btw#this was written in June#almost a month beforehand#the fic has been out for a month as well#turns out you can't schedule things on ao3#whoda thunk it#not me apparently#hence why murder is on my mind#my deepest apologies to whoever runs the o'knutzy week 2024 blog because they got shit from me WAY before the actual dates#sorry about the finlo math one too#that was my bad#I got the dates wrong#whomp whomp#anyway at least I got to look at my writing for however many hours Ive been doing this#*bangs head against wall*
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My Country: The New Age, first and last episodes & Hanif Abdurraqib, For The Dogs Who Barked At Me On The Sidewalks in Connecticut (text/audio) image descriptions in alt
#damn imagine if hui-jae was well written beyond like episode 7 or so. wouldnt that have been something.#just saying but if they had actually leaned into the parallels between these three instead of doing ... whatever weird comphet stuff we got#it couldve been so good!!!! or even if they had just let her keep her fun gender!! but no :(#im so glad hui-jae is busy being the occasional third in hwa-wol and mun-boks marriage while seonhwi raise goats in seo geoms village haha#anyway. enjoy yet another half assed post abt parallels and heartbreak in the parallels and heartbreak show <3#also do urself a favour and check out the whole poem hanif abdurraqibs writing is insane#my country: the new age#mctna#han hui-jae#nam seon-ho#seo hwi#caveweb#actually no i still have sth to say. like im not even mad that theres comphet im just angry its so bad like??? what was that#that wasnt even half assed that was like quarter assed at best#also the hui-jae / seon-ho axis is so tragically underused#like i respect that they just fully made them both hwisexual but couldnt we have at least gotten more than some crumbs#they went from vaguely friends to bitchy antagonists to i dont even think of u at all and thats honestly so lame#tension of a wet lettuce leaf. seon-ho was the one who made the first step towards friendship in ihwaru and he also warned her abt his dad#and wingmanned hwi (took hui-jae to see hwi kick ass) like in the beginning he was the one w the people skills!#and u are telling me apart from one extremely unbelievable attempt at a love triangle w the 'last drink' scene u never did anything w them?#like so much of my grief w this show hinges on the fact that there shouldve been more Good Times before everything went to shit#to make it hit harder bc imagine the beef if seon-ho and hui-jae had been actually good friends before he betrayed hwi#them seeing each other at court as the king and queens respective confidantes wouldve been so much better like !!!#wait actually i need to stop here i can feel myself getting hangry i need to eat lunch but imagine. imagine#the good timeline where hwi just got to be fully bisexual and there were more divorce flavours than just hwi/seon-ho and hwi/bang-won...#solarpunk_future.jpeg#nam seon ho#han hui jae#<- thats just bc i never fucking know what the consensus on the romanization of everyones names is#i personally go w the hyphenated method but lots of ppl write each syllable separate and ive seen the kpop variant (written tgt) used too
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the biggest thing about X6 is not that he doesn't think of himself as human (though he doesn't, and according to some it's correct) BUT that he doesn't see himself as a Person
#searching through the X6-88 tag on tumblr has not brought me joy#also. 1 thing about is that i hate hate hate the (i think) canon blue eyes he has. like. for fucking what#1st i saw them on tumblr and thought 'well thats stupid. whyd you give him blue eyes? so hed look special? thats weird. at least its uncanon#also. on god. i saw some post headcanoning the companions' appearances and it was p cool UNTIL they got to x6#and they gave him grey 'almost white' eyes for literally no reason. like if you want to go with the scary factor theres so many ways for it#but no. some people think that blue/grey eyes are sooo special. and for what#<- i have brown eyes but im not just being salty. it really sucks. i dont wanna be the one to call fandom racism but it does smell like it!#also like. i didnt want to go on a stupid tirade about racism in the tags again but the way fandom treats x6 AND preston is just upsetting#other people have made some very good points about it and im not going to repeat them here (also noones gonna read this)#but like... theres 3 'main' black characters that i remember: preston garvey (whom the stron majority of the fandom hates/disliked)#x6-88 (basically the players slave? also hated for being mean and unfeeling (which is justified imo). no quest no freedom no nothing)#and gloria (who i havent met in game but ive heard some actual criticisms of (like. the way shes treated ingame) and noone else talks about)#if theres any other Named and Important characters. sorry but i literally do not remember them#coming back to x6 being justified in being unemotional/mean. he was literally raised this way. he doesnt consider himself to be a person#being he was made that way. he is a Thing and hes meant for one job and hes made to inspire fear#and hes not supposed to have emotions so he just. doesnt. if he does he cant express them anyways#1 if fallout4 was a better written game (or 2 if x6 was white) i think thered be SO much fanfiction about him. the possibilities are endless#i have something brewing in the back of my head. i might start writing even though i suck and its going to be bad#ANYWAYS. general fandom thought on x6 are WRONG and im being a HATER. fuck everyone who doesn't like x6. if you dont like x6 get off tumblr#especially if you like gage but not x6. leave fr#i just woke up wtf am i doingggg
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Incomplete exchange (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#Max Vyer#DAX#*throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws idea spaghetti throws#So Max and ZEX changing places - what if that but This lol#It would also be funny to watch Max stumble around in ZEX's body lol but considering ''how'' ZEX got isekai'd...#Not much left probably :| Dark#Really I'm just fascinated by throwing the almost-dynamics into relief hehehe - DAX and Dex so similar! And Max and ZEX similar in some ways#How would DAX react to Max :3c How would Max react to DAX! One of them knows the other - at least at arm's length - but not the other!#Seeing a VUX ''in person'' would probably be a whole other feeling as well haha - there's a familiarity when he's inhabiting ZEX's POV#Still thinks he's dreaming because I mean - would the reality be any easier to swallow? No lol#I guess this would be a scenario before ZEX dies since y'know - DAX is here haha - unless this is some afterlife something???#Both Max and DAX /would/ be dead in that scenario - or would they?? Haha the grey area is the funnest to play in <3#I think it'd be very interesting on DAX's end as well - obviously Max is very different from ZEX but if the language thing works both ways#VUX already have the translators of course but like - Max speaks very differently from ZEX he formulates his sentences very specifically#But if the way he attacks the words the way his accent moves the sounds around - if he speaks like ZEX but not /like/ him - s'interesting!#Would probably confuse the heck out of DAX haha he knows that voice very well!#By the transitive property would that make their accent space New Jersey? No that's too silly haha#I really love Max just dropping years and events out of the blue haha - very important! Written down! Kept track of!#A lot of things he doesn't pay much attention to but he's very careful with his dream data I'm love him <3#I also had So much fun drawing his hands here hehe ♪ His hand expressions have quickly risen to being my favourite :D#ZEX doesn't express with his hands! Which means it's a Max-specific type of thing in his body!#Tells <3
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Honestly I'd love to know what kind of comments you'd be adding to the fic for your mother. Very curious :0 (also I'm terrible at knowing what information an outsider would and wouldn't have and/or would need)
Sure, I'll add a few. (Redacted since my google account is my full name.) Also remember that y'all also got the benefit of my author's notes, but I'm not giving my mom the AO3 copy because over my dead body does she look at that account. I'm giving her a document copy. So a lot of the comments will likely be details you guys already got in either a post or author's note.
^^^ This one is written specifically because my mom, like me, has been going to Big Bend National Park since she was young. A member of my family has gone there nearly every single year since....1965? lol. So it's a fun tidbit for her to know I was thinking of it while writing this. (There will be a similar note when the Pinnacles trail comes up, because I named Pinnacles after a trail in Big Bend.)
me trying to explain Scar's general dramatic flair (i also have a comment somewhere explaining that Scar is dyslexic and that is why he occasionally mispronounces stuff in the fic, and why he says the scientific documents the rangers let him borrow were difficult to get through)
nicknames
My mother and I are both Gary the cat stans. Trust me she knows Exactly what I am picturing here.
^^ a few other comments on the story, ranging from "background character details" to "research details" to "totally unecessary personal opinions"
it's also fun for little self-aware asides:
She already knows a significant amount of the plot, including the ending, because I talked to her about it. That is also why she gets to read it, because the moment I opened my mouth about writing it I basically had to. I don't always talk about my writing with her but I really wanted to talk about this one. So! By talking about it I just made the decision for myself that I'd allow her to read it. She is....very excited haha. And I am too? I mean I think I am going to send it to her and then just immediately go back to my apartment so I don't have to be in the same house as her while she's reading it LOL. The embarassment of people who know you too closely reading your things etc etc. But I'm very proud of this story and I don't think she realizes how good of a writer I can be. She knows I'm good at it (like, she's read my essays and newspaper stories) but not how I handle fiction.
#quara asks#hc_firewatch_au#i considered making ANOTHER copy for general friends/family/other audience as well#since i know at least one friend asked to read it back in december#i wonder if she still remembers she wanted to read it. i may not remind her LOL#i'm picky about real life people seeing my work. it's so much more intensely personal than showing them my other creative stuff#it's also just a deeply unhinged hobby to write fanfiction in general#i'm not saying that to denigrate fanfiction. yall KNOW i love it deeply.#but you gotta admit there's a level of derangedness to showing Normal People(tm) something like this#hi yes i spent a large portion of my last year writing deeply researched & angsty fiction about minecraft blorbos. here go cry while u read#anyway the reason it'd be a whole new annotated copy and not just the same as my mom's is that i've got a specific relationship with my mom#that will influence how all these annotations are written#we're besties btw.#i'm not even worried about killing her at all on our upcoming 16 day trip together!#i feel like that reads sarcastic it wasnt meant to be
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Have been playfully soft launching my transgenderism at work (telling a few people and letting people ask questions when they hear someone use a different name and pronouns for me) but today my manager brought me a name tag and told I had to wear it and it has to be visible at all times and I almost started crying like genuinely so I may just fucking. Make my own label for it that has Parker on it and just fully come out at work.
#he said to me I just don’t understand why your so upset about having to wear a name tag and I like. could have just said well it’s the#transgenderism. he would have been fine with that probably understood or at least been like. normal about it. but instead I hit my vape and#got written up so.#being out at work is so scary tho.#idk what to do. I’ve worked there a year and never haven’t worn a name tag since like. the first week.#and I feel stupid about it too bc like. most people I work with use my deadname but something about having to see it written out is worse.#I think it’s like. if a customer reads it and uses it in an interaction I will want to kill them. and then myself. ya know?#anyway I have a label maker so maybe I just come out at work tomorrow#prsnl
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I just finished reading the most fucking devastating +100k word fic in three days and I'm nawt okay
#mine#vld#there's this one specific fic writer that i have literally followed for years since 2017 at least#and i always reread their old stuff bc its just so well written it fucks me up and the PLOT? the CHARACTERIZATION?! dear goood#but they had written a longifc more recently like 2022 and i was putting off reading their newer stuff bc theyre moving on to writing#their own novel!! and im so happy for them so reading their stuff makes me sad a bit#but i finally got around to reading this fic and dear god what are they putting in the water man everything write is a fucking banger#and DEVASTATING#like i want to cry and punch something at the same time but ITS A HAPPY ENDING LIKE#anyway ele keep rocking it i hope your fucking novel is wonderful you deserve all the success#been 6 years since that godforsaken show ended and your voltron fanfiction still slays every time#and i read them over again every year fjfkkfkfkf#voltron
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The further I get into revising Out of Eden, the more I'm like, "Exactly how many conversations have I written at least three different ways?"
#what the hell did I do before computers#well I remember what I was taught to do was to physically cut apart your manuscript and rearrange it with tape#and use that as a guide for revision#but let me tell you it's a lot easier on a computer to merge three different scenes into one#or at least it is because I know how to do it#mormon!klaine news#writing#anyway thank you to all of you who patiently read many conversations written at least three different ways#hopefully you got something different out of them each time#😜
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If I could, like, hold a thought long enough to put it into words that would be really great
I would also like someone to inject the entire Mandarin language into my brain
I'm having adrinette fanfic ideas but am so horribly unable to write down any of them arghhhg
#i blame my adhd#and daydreaming omg#im sure i could write fanfiction if i really really forced myself#it would just take sooooo long#and i cant think for long enough to fully understand even my own ideas so it'd be such a wreck#I've got my silly little drawings though#im grateful im good at that at least!#but imagine how fun it would be!!!#actually its very likely that what im thinking of has already probably been written 🧍#i don't really know *how* to look for fanfictions???#y'know that phrase that goes “i wasn't born yesterday” or something like that?#well i might have been born yesterday because I know nothing about anything hahaha 👶#anywayssss#adrinette my beloved#adrinette#adrienette#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#love square
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I'm currently sewing a dress & yesterday I realized that I've intentionally made virtually every aspect of the process more difficult (fabric is plaid that needs to be matched, keyhole back changed to invisible zipper, zipper then requires a facing be changed to a lining, added piping to the collar & hem, etc.). I've also decided to bang out a last-minute Xmas sweater that involves carrying 3 colors for most of the knitting. Lots of questions for past me.
#I think this dress may be the project that cures me of sewing with plaids#I really do not enjoy pattern matching or knitting w/3colors#given which one might very reasonably ask why I undertook garments that require them#I do not know#I think pattern matching may be kind of like childbirth#ie if you wait long enough doing it again seems like a good idea#however in my defense I will note that the pattern matches flawlessly across the back zipper#including at the bottom of the zip#as well as at the shoulders & skirt sides#so I may be insane(r) now but at least I got the desired result#re: the sweater the 3rd color is red so if I omitted it that would really kind of kill the Xmas vibe#having written all this out I'm starting to see why my mood has not been great the last few weeks#nothing like spending hours a day doing something you find just a little too challenging#to wear your psyche down to a stubby pencil
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“a sicks’ dream come true; coming soon to fanfic channels near you”
#presenting my cursed sleep-deprived brainworm of the day: nagisa gets sold to ft4 for uni fees#or well. more like they’re looking for a live-in assistant dude. thing. or sth. idk#and papa shiranami just sells his son off bc ‘hey it’s literal free real estate!!! plus he’s gonna get paid for the entire deal so why not?’#nagisa initially pitches a fit at his dad a la gamushara yelling scene bc ‘dad!!!!!! how could you just sell me off to some strangers?!!!!’#‘shhhh son; think of the free housing. in ✨t o k y o✨. stuff’s expensive there yk’ ‘but still!!!!!’#so nagi sulkily packs his bags and heads out; trying to motivate himself with thoughts of ‘hey at least i’ll get to see hiyori more often’#then he arrives at the train station and sees our favourite 5-man non-idol gang… and promptly passes out#when he comes to… poor guy finds himself right smack in the middle of a hugeass canopy bed#with dai sitting smugly by the side like ‘the great me carried you back mans. you’re welcome ;)’ with a tip of his cool fedora#and that’s when nagi realises that 1) it’s not a dream and that he actually has to live with his oshis now. and 2) damnnnn this bed is soft#cohabitation shenanigans happen. as they would seeing as the entire gang + rio’s niece live together in this oddly huge megu-owned penthouse#plus free bi-weekly vacations to megu’s family villa bc they can never spend a waking moment without each other#and nagi finds it strange that the group is oddly accomodating of his uni schedule when it concerns his job tasks and such…#or that they collab with lxl (hi hiyori!!!) way more than they should typically be…#but he brushes it off when rio asks him to cook with him or sth idk i mean how often do you get to cook with your oshi????#and idk eventually the jig is up and it’s revealed that hiyori was the one who was accidentally behind the whole thing#like a ‘sorry nagisa i told uchida that you’d be moving here too but lxl were there the entire time and they went and got ft4 to buy you’#or something kinda thing. idk. bc everything has to be lxl’s fault; even when they’re just lurking in the bg#i’m def gonna regret this later lmao. it’s almost 2.30 in the am; i have not written in months; and i’ve never read a sold to 1.d. fic ev er#this is the kind of cosmic horror that only sleep-deprived brains can cook up ig…….. oh wells#it is suiyoubi my dudes#the dude from gamushara
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