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mask131 · 5 months ago

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French fantasy review: La Sève et le Givre

Another piece of French dark fantasy, and yet... it is the complete opposite of "Féerie pour les ténèbres" that I covered before. Where the previous work was humoristic, vulgar, filled with gross-out and violence and weirdness ; this one is a serious work of elegance, a poetic "dark fantasy" where one can even wonder if it is actually "dark" fantasy, and not just regular fantasy... Yet I still mention the "dark" part here, because this is a work following the dark side of Faerie: I am talking about Léa Silhol's "La Sève et le Givre" - which one translates as "Sap and Frost" (and... honestly the title sounds WAAAYY cooler in French)

This novel is notorious for being one of the works that received the Prix Merlin (in 2003). This prize was awarded every year to the best French (or French-speaking) fantasy novel. Unfortunately it has been stopped in 2015, after 13 years of existence...

Do you know this huge wave of YA "Fae romance" that is currently going on? This book turns out to have been a precursor to this - but I do not mean to say this is a YA book in any way, oh no! No, I rather mean that this is one of the "originals" to do the fae romance - and to do it RIGHT. I am myself not much of a fan of romances, and yet this novel worked for me because it is precisely a fae romance, and you DO feel the fae in it all. This is not something that could have happened between regular humans. It is too weird and mythological and abstract and... well, and fae. You definitively feel it isn't just a human romance with "fairy" slapped onto it like a poor sticker ; it was clearly designed as meant to explore an otherworldy, supernatural land the same way Neil Gaiman's Faerie works (like Stardust) or Brian Froud's illustrated books do.

But I digress: so, what is "La Sève et le Givre" actually about? It is primarily the story of a fated romance. Literaly: the Fates themselves announced that these two characters would fall in love... and that destruction and sorrow would ensue. She is the impossible love-child of a being of nature in full spring and of a prince of the forces of winter (the "sap and frost" of the title, uniting the two powers of the season inside of her). He is one of the rulers of the "dark courts", the Unseelie side of the world of Faerie ; a gloomy, cruel, yet beautiful lord of darkness. She was taken away from her parents as a child, raised among mortals, and was then led into the Faerie world by a dashing fae prince ; while he is aware of the girl's existence, while not knowing who she is, and only knows that she will be both his soulmate and his foe...

Now, when I put the story like that, I hear you sigh "Well, that's EXACTLY like one of those teenage-girls YA romance so filled with cliches". Except... it is really not. I purposefully showed you the story under this precise angle to create that reaction - because it isn't the story itself that makes the strength of this novel. It is the world and the style.

The copious quotes of sir Walter Scott, Walter de la Mare, Goethe and Fiona McLeod that are sprinkled at the beginning of each part of this book already give the tone for what I can only describe as... a somehow Pre-Raphaelite novel. There is a REAL stylistic effort in this book, a research of vocabulary and romanticism (n the artist movement meaning) and poetry to make this feel like an otherworldy romance. This book takes a lot of cues from works like Lord Dunsany's The King of Elfland's Daughter, which is probably the progenitor of the "fae romance" subgenre in modern fantasy... And in fact it is a lot like Dunsany's elf-works, with the twist that, unlike Dunsany's romance which shows us the elf world from the point of view of human beings, Silhol's work is about two fairy beings living a convoluted love story in the Fae realm... And this changes a LOT of things.

Because Léa Silhol really captures the feeling of what a "fae" being should be. As she said herself in the little vocabulary of folkloric terms and legendary names she leaves at the end of the book, this story comes from a decade of studying the Scottish and Irish folklores. The main characters are completely fictional, but they coexist with, cohabit with and even encounter throughout the narrative the Amadan, Arawn, Nicnevin, Finvara, the Fuath, Herne, Titania, the redcaps, the sluagh and more... As such the characters presented to us are morally complex, driven by truly alien reasonings and pulsions more linked to the seasonal powers and arcane symbolism than anything. There is a real effort to show how a being supposed to embody the youthful joy of spring mixed with the bitter cold of winter would act, and how the "dark side" of Faerie still stays wonderful, magical and beautiful, even though it is a realm of ghosts, cruelty and shadows. The very alien nature of the main protagonists does provide for the many twists and turns their convoluted, half-cursed, half-blessed relationship undergo.

And one thing I absolutely love with this novel is how while the author works well to make us enter and understand the fae world, from time to time she drops a human in the setting - just as a background detail, or a mere mention - and suddenly, by doing that, she puts back in perspective how absolutely insane, frightening or otherworldy what we are following is. This play on perspectives really highlights well how, if this story had been told from a human perspective, it would have been some insane fever dream, but because we follow the fae themselves, we flow on the "logic" part of "dream logic".

The other element I truly enjoyed in this novel's treatment of its narrative, and how it makes sure it isn't JUST a romance - is the scope. Léa Silhol makes sure to show us how it isn't just a bizarre love story - but an entire movement in the world of fairies. The very novel begins with the Fates themselves being pissed off at the dark elven lord due to some complex broken romance between them, and enacting the prophecy-curse that would be his doom... The Cailleach Bheur appears regularly on the background as this distant seasonal goddess mysteriously tied to the plot (her presence is part of the final reveals)... There is a detailed subplot showing the consequences of the Unseelie Prince's emotions and adventures on his city - which is literaly tied to him since the city was born of blood-drops he spilled in the beginnings of Faerie... And so this is as much a Dunsany love story as a divine tragedy in the lines of Greek theater, and the depiction of magical political turmoil, and a part of the myth of the great forces of nature at work... This really conveys this idea of an Otherworld in the Celtic sense of the term - dwelling of fairies and sorcerers, ghosts and gods. A place where there isn't just one random little thing happening in a corner - but where every event has weight and meaning on a grander, magical, divine scope.

Now, I keep speaking positively of this novel, don't I have anything bad to say? Well honestly, if I have anything to say it is about... the style. The language of this novel is both its strength and its own trap. Léa Silhol has a real poetic pen to her, and her chapters are a delight to read - especially in today's era where a lot of authors abandon any form of style effort in favor of narrative or character quality. This style is poetic and mythical and epic and oniric, and perfect to depict Faerie. However, sometimes (not very often but it happened twice or thrice), she lets her lyrical inspiration fly too far away, and we get into the "definitively TOO flowery". Or rather she tries specific metaphors and comparisons which... just do not work. They fall flat due to just how weird they are and how it does not work. That's where you go "Okay, now, you went a little too far in the imagery, you were being poetical, now its just weird if not ridiculous".

Hopefully as I said it is not common, it happened two or three times only... But it was enough to get me out of the book for a brief time and refrain a chuckle, all seriousness of the moment gone.

Outside of that I just ADORE this inhuman romance of seasonal fae-powers, and the chaos it brings into this world of goddesses, beastly ghosts, deadly flowers, Shakespearian magic and other haunted ponds. Definitively one of my best "fae novels" in French literature.

[EDIT: As I checked some things for this post I discovered that apparently Léa Silhol wrote two more novels taking place within the same iteration of Faerie and exploring what happened after the events of this novel... So now I know what I'm going to be looking for next time I go book-shopping!]

[EDIT: I also discovered that there is a... Redux version that was published at some point? I... I am a bit confused by that, I wonder what they could have taken out of the story since everything was already concised and balanced enough?]

#french fantasy review #french fantasy #fantasy novel #fae romance #fairy romance #fae novel #fae #fairy novel #fairy #léa silhol #la sève et le givre

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megan0013 · 1 year ago

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week 1 - dystopia

Arcadia’s defense systems are some of the best in the country. The walls around the town are high and sturdy, their arsenal of weapons well-stocked and diverse thanks to a successful raid on Area 49-B, and, oh yeah, they have advanced technology only aliens have ever seen before. Because there are aliens in Arcadia. And a coven of very capable witches and wizards. And a legion of gnomes that have sworn absolute fealty to The Town Council after some incredibly difficult negotiations involving dream houses, nougat nummies, and a full-time hat maker.

And there’s the Trollhunter

His warnings are the reason the citizens of Arcadia were able to defend themselves after Gunmar’s hoards had taken the east coast and started making their way west from New Jersey. Without him, they never would have built the wall in time or stockpiled munitions and non-perishable food. They wouldn’t have known anything about weak spots in gumm-gumm armor and how to take advantage of them, or the typical battle strategies the troll army employed. And they certainly couldn’t have designed the vast, complex system of tunnels and traps that had been used to obliterate whole legions in one fell swoop.

Of course, that’s probably because he’d once been a very prominent tactician in the Skullcrusher’s army.

Not that many Arcadians know this about him. His wife and stepson do, obviously, and a handful of close family friends, but to everyone else he’s just Walter – the guy who loves puns and used to teach history at the high school before everything went to hell. They don’t know he’s one of those scummy changelings or that his armor isn’t the real reason he can switch forms. And why should they? Most people have only ever seen him become a troll when Daylight is in his hand. If they want to believe his stone skin is just a byproduct of being named the Trollhunter, then so be it.

The trolls in Trollmarket, though... Well, they know exactly what he is.

It was a tough sell at first, being accepted, but gaining Vendel’s approval and introducing his small family had gone a long way in earning their respect. Draal loudly declaring he’d only had Jim for a day and half but if anything happened to him he would kill everyone in the room and then himself hadn’t hurt, either.

The few who remained wary of him eventually left for what they thought were greener pastures, or quickly changed their tune in the aftermath of Gunmar’s escape from the Darklands.

And now, after three years of successfully leading trolls and humans alike, the Trollhunter’s judgement has been called into question by his own wife.

At least, that’s what it feels like to him.

“Stalklings aren’t pets, Barbara! They are killing machines.”

Barbara, however, doesn’t look the least bit impressed by her husband’s outburst as she continues strolling through the stable of what was once a petting zoo but is now home to a clutch of brand new stalkling pups and their mother. “Just because you’ve had a few unfortunate encounters with them, doesn’t mean they’re all bad. I mean, seriously. Look at that cute little face.”

The stalkling in question does not have a cute little face. Not at all. In fact, she’s got blood-red eyes and an ugly gray head and terrifyingly large teeth.

“It literally tried to eat you at the supermarket,” Walter says, watching incredulously as Barbara takes the great winged beast’s beak into her hands for a scratch. “You still have the scar on your leg from where it bit you.”

“We surprised her, that’s all. Persephone would never hurt me on purpose. Would you, my sweet girl?”

“Persephone? You named it?” Walter huffs out a sigh, fingers going to pinch the bridge of his nose in obvious frustration. “Darling, you can’t name them. Now we’ll never be rid of it.”

Barbara raises a brow. “That’s sorta the point, Walt.”

Persephone snorts in agreement.

“And, anyway,” his wife continues with a gentle peck to Persephone’s beak, “Jim wants a vespa or a puppy for his birthday, so…”

Walter blinks.

Barbara bats her eyelashes.

Walter frowns. “That’s not a vespa, nor is it a dog.”

“Oh, no, babe. Of course, not. But since all the scooters have been stripped for parts and I’m allergic to dog hair, I thought, well,” she grins and gestures to the five pups chirping away in the corner of the stall, “these little guys might be the perfect gift.”

The Trollhunter whimpers, knowing deep down in his heart that he’s already lost this particular battle and he's about to become the proud grandfather of not one, but five baby stalklings.

“Besides,” Barbara pats his cheek before pressing a kiss to it, “he can’t have Persephone. She’s my pet.”

#keenswimmers2023 #stricklake #gonna be honest - i have NO idea where this came from #but i kinda like what i've dubbed the 'jim wants a pony au'#so feel free to ask about it

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twistedtummies2 · 10 months ago

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Year of the Bat - Number 21

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “I’m a civic-minded citizen, with a lot of time on his hands!” Number 21 is…The Clock King.

Some of the best supervillains in “Batman: The Animated Series” weren’t necessarily characters who appeared time and time again. Sometimes they only showed up a couple of times, and that was honestly enough. The Clock King, titular antagonist of this episode, is a great example. The character was actually invented as part of another superhero’s Rogues Gallery – namely Green Arrow – but ever since the version played by Walter Slezak in the 60s series, at least, he’s often been confused for a Batman rogue, as well. This episode updated the character in a way that many agree is superior to the original found in the comics, and has been influential in later portrayals to this date. The story begins with a man named Temple Fugate, a businessman whose company is under serious trouble with a multi-million dollar lawsuit against him. If he loses the court hearing, it will mean his financial ruin. Hamilton Hill, an acquaintance on Fugate’s regular railway commute, suggests that Fugate should relax before the hearing, and recommends taking his usual coffee break at a different time. Fugate decides to take the advice…and a domino effect of accidents leads to not only the destruction of his company, but the end of any shred of sanity the man has left in his head. Years later, in present day Gotham, Hill is now the Mayor of the City, and is running for a re-election. Fugate appears as the self-proclaimed “Clock King,” a villain hell-bent on humiliating and then destroying the Mayor, whom he blames for all his woes. Batman must find a way to stop Fugate, as the Clock King’s crimes grow increasingly more brazen and dangerous. What I love about the Clock King is the way the motif of time is used in the story. The original villain in earlier interpretations was a very gimmicky character; I’ve always enjoyed the character, but I think it was primarily due to this version and the one in the 60s series that I really fell in love with the concept. Clock King, in this series, isn’t so much a guy who uses clocks as a gimmick, but is instead a living clock himself. He’s the world’s most nightmarish case of OCD, who has to make sure everything is neat, tidy, punctual, and efficient at all times. Why is this a threat? Because he knows when a train will be passing by X spot at Y time, and knows how to get down off a building and onto it without breaking a sweat. Because he knows the exact spot to stand, and when to stand there, in order to avoid being crushed by falling rubble. Because he knows exactly when to dodge a punch, when to retaliate with an attack of his own; his mind is a computer that can calculate every single action and motion down to a fraction of a second. As the series so often did, in other words, it took a character who had before seemed like something of a joke, and made him into a compelling and dangerous opponent. Alan Rachins, the voice actor for the Clock King, is also a big part of the character’s staying power. He’s just so wonderfully snide, for lack of a better way of putting it; while you do feel a bit sorry for Fugate due to his opening origins, he’s also just a wonderfully smug and smarmy sort of character. You kind of want to punch him in the face, but in the best possible way, and it never takes away from his menace as a character. The design is also really great; very simple, but very striking, with the watch-face glasses and the cane that resembles a minute hand. It’s easy to see why this version of the character caught on, both in and out of comics: sometimes just knowing the right time for everything can almost be a superpower in and of itself.

Tomorrow we move into the Top 20 of the countdown! Hint: “Why couldn’t you just let me make-believe?!”

#list #countdown #best #favorites #new year's special #year of the bat #top 31 btas episodes #btas #batman: the animated series #dcau #dc #batman #animation #tv #number 21 #clock king #temple fugate

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gayspock · 1 year ago

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ok im lbing this bc we're not gonna get more for a long time

ok initial thoughts: zombies by the cranberries sent me a little loopy. im sorry. its a heartbreaking song, its a heartbreaking scene. but playing those both together is the funniest fucking thing you could do ever. heavens

second thoughts: i know there was a lotof, like, backlash abt the last ep regarding the present day girlies "giving in to lottie so easily" so its funny to see them ppl owned so early. LOL. although this cant end well and i have already been spoiled and i will say i saw that coming sort of but thought "no they wouldnt do that... tht sucks" but anyways

THIRD thoughts and last time im gonna open a thought with that: literally i said all that, but i know last week ppl also complaine saying they didnt "explain the game well enough" which i thought was stupid bc if they sat there and did thatd be clunky and dumb and ruin the horror of it so now misty is just exposition dumping to lottie im like for gods sake. and in some ways i do kinda get what theyre trying to do with it (misty would be frank about it and clear and etc) but i still think its just a bit alrighhttt alrighttt to watch

this is making me feel sick...

SHAUNA BEING THE DESIGNATED BUTCHER TOO... heavens and a bit.

NOT THE DESIGNATED T...

this is so fucking crazy

HER COVERING HER EYES. I AM SICK. YOU KNOW WHEN THE WET, BIG BROWN PUPPY DOG EYES ARE GONE THE WORLD IS DARK AND CRUEL

ok but seeing trav crying over havi like that . meanwhile shauna was fucking sobbing with jackies corpse holding it for months. everything in the world mental

UGHHH FUCKING WALTERRRRR

SORRY IVE MADE MY FEELINGS CLEAR. I DO NOT LIKE HIS FUNCTION AS A CHARACTER. I THINK MISTY'S ARC WOULD BE SO MUCH FUCKING STRONGER WITHOUT HIM. GET MORE CREATIVE. YOU DONT NEED HIM . and its like hes not bad hes fine but its so annoying that they give him more FUCKING ATTENTION THAN FUCKING NAT AT THIS POINT

plus her dynamic with nat is so much better

i love adult shauna scheming. always gets them into a bit of a pickle. classic!

COACH BEN COMING BACK TO STIUATIONS IS FUCKING UNFATHOMABLY F- NATALIE WHAT HAPPENED

I FIGURED OUT WHERE HAVI WAS HIDING

DOES ANYONE HEAR HIM

YOURE N

I FEEL SICK

his little gorgeous babygirl tear.

coach ben your gay ass needs to move fast before the second most homophobic fast food chain after chick fil a opens up in the canadian wilderness with a limited menu of #1 fucking d

FUCK OFF ELIJAH WOODFUCK OFF KEVYN THIS IS SICK. UGHHHH YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST.

UGH

THIS WHOLE CONVO IS SO BORING IM ASLEEP WORST GUYS IN THE WORLD FUCK OFF THERES NO WAY WE'RE WASTING TIME ON THESE GUYS WHEN THERE'S LITERAL GIRLS EATING GIRLS

"A COVEN OF THEM ALL UP TO NO GOOD" OK that kinda ruled

JEFF WIN JEFF WIN JEFF WIN HIS BIGGG JEFFING COCK FUCKING RULES . NO JEFFING ABOUT.

YOU KILLED HIM?

OKAY jeff is raising the bar here im happy with jeff and walter jeffing and waltering and jaltering and weffing

is weffing something sexual it sounds sexual i hope to god not

shauna is so mother making a meal for the family 😊

THE WOBBLY HEART . MY GOD. DONT- DONT GIVE IT TO TRAVIS. DONT FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITH THE WOBBLY HEART. COME ON BRO.

hes

raw.....

this is a little um

god the crazy parallels of lottie in the past fucking ruined over the ritual and lottie of the present being the most caught up in it. hellaur

IF YOU MAKE CALLIE DEAL WITH THAT ROTTEN COP I'LL KILL US ALL

SHAUNA DRAWING THE CARD?

"IT WAS JUST US!" "is there a difference?" EXACTLY. SAY THAT AT THE FUCKING C- SORRY BUT THEIR SLOW ASS RUNNING MADE ME LOSE IT

THE TRUNK OF THE FUCKING CAR HELP THATS SO FUNNYYYY KEVYNNNNNN

CALLIE WITH A GUN

HI... OK. BUT THE ... OK IS ANYONE GOING CRAZY RIGHT NOW

i mean other than the girlies in animal masks in th e woods

lottie: everybo-

SHUT UP ITS CRAZY EVERY TIME THEY CUT FROM A FUTURE SCENE TO A PAST SCENE I GO STUPID IN THE HEAD

lottie: can you fucking kill me

lottie: can you fucking kill me and can i also elect the next girl president

ANTLER QUEEN?

NATALIE?

YOU MAKE ME SICK

YOU MAKE ME SICK THERES NOWAYYYYYYY

NATALIE NO MY SEET SWEETBABYGIRL

HEY

AND HELLO

LISA....

LISA. NO. SURELY NOT.

OH MY GOD

NATALIE YOU ARE SO....

the nattielot stocks are literall crazy the nattielot stocks are literally in turmoil its like a rollercoaster its literally a thrillride they blow your brain right out up and down and round and round til your FUCKING BRAIN COMES OUT YOUR NOSE AS DINNER SURPRISE

travis......................

my god natalie atalie no NA QUEEN CA RD QU

HI AND HELLO AND HI

SORRY . THATS TISTE DTHIS IS TWISTED THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER IM ABSOLUTELY FURIOUS EVERYBODY VETTER FUCKING KILL

STOP PLAYING RADIOHEAD AND SLOWMOING HER FUCKING DEATH IS THERE NO FUCKING DIGNIT

NO THIS IS

YOU ALL.... ARE THE WORST.....

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING EXISTENCE

ITS NOT EVIL ITS JUST HU

THE NATLOTTIE STOCKS JUST BURST

I FEEL ILL I HATE MY ST- NOT THE DRUG OVERDOSE. COME ON . I JSUT WANT TO FUCKING CRY THIS ALL FUCKING SUCCKS.

walter: um...... >_<

you guys fucking suck sending her there i know i know theres so few options but fu- VAN. PUT THOSE BIG WET EYES AWAY. PUT THAT AWE-INDUCED WET SMILE AWAY. COME ON GIRL. PULL IT TOGETHER

hey shauna

most normal girl in the world

coach ben said FUCK women. WOW. ALRIGHT. i mean it was... RIGHT LIKE HE?

HE SERIOUSLY JUST DECIDED FUCK THESE GIRLS OH MY GOD YES TYHIS IS THE FUCKING ENDING I WANTED

van being the last out vantler queen when?

THIS IS FUCKING NUTS

altrnateively the wilderness being like :/ you didnt need to do that to havi guys....

ANYWAYS GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

#Egg.txt #YELLOWJACKETS LIVEBLOG

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sweetyart · 2 years ago

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I don't know how much it makes sense to discuss it now, but this account is partially for me and shitpost, so I will post my opinion on the rework for now.

It took me a while to figure out where his experience points were. But this is where you can test yourself. And it makes sense. So to say, "look into yourself." The design of the windows has changed a little and in my opinion it looks good. When selecting a character, Wilson now has a button next to his wardrobe to view experience and reset it. You can reset it when choosing a character, and choose a skill only in the game itself.

You pump three skills in turn - the "ult" opens Well, here are the brightness and longitude of the glow of the torch, and the last skill makes it possible to throw the torch so that it does not go out. I don’t know if it’s possible to set something on fire with this method, because I didn’t succeed, in addition, the torch on the ground disappears after being thrown, it was only visible because of the fire, and you can pick it up only with the help of a space. I don't know how useful this is, because I personally stop using a torch when I have a mining helmet, and I have a torch lying around at the base in the corner, in case I need to burn something to ashes.

Alchemy is already more interesting, in my purely rude opinion. It makes it possible to get another from one object. As a player without a cave, I need one type of mineral more than another.

The first line in the alchemy, as in my opinion, is rubbish. The extraction of this resource is not a problem. And crafting marble can only be useful in the case when there is no marble at all in the world or at the beginning, in order to create a bean, which will later be produced. For the sake of this, there is no desire to pump this line. On the other hand, you can enter into a collaboration with Walter and supply him with more "hurt" stones for a lower price.

The second is already more useful, because now some types of gems are no longer such a problem-obtained resource

The third, I believe, will be useful to those who do not often go hunting, but a hambat is needed. On the other hand, why does a hambat need someone who does not go hunting? It's also garbage, for the most part. I don’t see the point of distilling ordinary hair into beefalo hair and vice versa. What's the problem with going once to the bifalo, shave them… and that's it. You will get three times more wool than wilson or rabbits. What is the point of milking a beard for wool. I would imagine it would be beneficial for other survivors to process wool into hair to make meat effigies, but…only Wilson can process wool into hair, and he himself is a walking beard tuft factory. Shit is also not a problem to get. Pigs, beefalos, bats, birds. Rotten is good for medicines, for gunpowder, for ashes. 6 rot for one poop, so-so exchange. A tooth may remain on the bone. But the bones in many recipes are not needed and are not such an important resource.

Further. Beard. In general, growth rate and abundance of hair. Ulta - hide food in the beard… Hygiene cries in hysterics.

To unlock the latter, you need to spend 12 points, and then find and annihilate The Ancient Fuelweaver, which I can’t get to, so cheats help.

Does he turn shadows into goodies?… I don't know exactly how it works for him, but now he's our sorcerer. He creates pure horror from some new stones, and from it is already the fuel of horror … I can’t say anything about this yet.

I'll take a walk and see if Wilson's skills are useful in the game. Not everything that works well in words works in practice and vice versa.

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slaveforlokisblog · 2 years ago

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i. Don't kill me!

"Hate, the opposite of love, the driving power of destruction"

"Not that fucking car, that one was Jax's favorite! " spat Asher angrily. Asher Hunter Black was a very successful businessman man, almost all the fashion designing companies worked under him and that was just a..... Undercover!

He was the biggest Mafia boss 'Thy Enforcer' who exported weapons to many countries. He was an arrogant, pompous, ignorant person in real life. He didn't like people very much except for one...his son, Jaxon.

"I'm sorry sir, she came out of nowhere, it wasn't my fault!" said the driver. "well, the good thing is Jaxon

was not in it!" sighed Asher. The driver dropped Jaxon to kindergarten and was heading back.

"Go find her!"

"she's at the parking lot!" said the driver who knew it was her last day. She shouldn't have stayed. Even if she didn't it would be of no use, Asher would have easily found her.

"well, that's a good thing, she didn't run!" said Asher.

"Not everyone is like you, Hunter!" uttered an old man, not very old, but he still looked fit.

"what do you want, Walter?"

"Jesus, how many times have I told you I hate it when you call me by my name, I'm your grandpa for God's sake!" uttered his grandpa. "right!" smirked Asher.

"what are you gonna do? Kill that poor girl?"

"she ruined my son's favorite car, and do you know how much it cost?" spat Asher.

"All of this hatred just for a stupid, non-living object?"

"One thing I got from you! " chuckled Asher. His grandpa was so pissed at him. Asher always blamed him for how or who he was. Yes, his grandpa did some terrible things but now he is trying to right his wrong.

"Is this what you are gonna teach your son when he is old enough, that people's lives are worthless compared to an object." said grandpa. He had enough of his evil behavior.

"I know exactly what to tell my son, alright? He will be nothing like me or my father and absolutely not like you."

"Do what you want!" Walter slammed the door of his office and started searching for the girl who was just here to apologize for what she did. She had no idea it would most likely cause her life. But she was nowhere, the guards already took her to the safe spot.

Of course, Asher was not gonna kill her, he can easily afford a new one but he was gonna teach her a lesson for sure.

"you guys are pretty serious about your security, huh?" said Dia. She immediately shut up when one of the guards gave her a death glare.

Dia Auclaire was an independent, strong, and robust girl, at least she thought like that...if truth be told she was a mess, a complete mess. She was 21. Her life was always upside down. Whenever she wanted to do something right it went otherwise just like this time, but she stayed to apologize.

When the door opened she looked at Asher with bright eyes, he was a bit older than her but he was hot. His eyes color was turquoise like the ocean which made her wonder what secrets lay behind those, his lips were perfect and his suit was neatly ironed. He had a muscular body, and his hair was almost blonde. His hands....oh my God, his veiny hands could do so many things to her oh shoot, she shouldn't think like that in this situation, she is just here to apologize.

"Hello sir, you must be Mr. Black. I'm so sorry for crashing your car. There was fog all around I couldn't see a single thing. I'm so sorry!" apologized Dia.

"you got a license?" asked Asher. Uhh, of course, she didn't have one. She failed her driving test so many times.

"no!"

Asher was interrupted by one of the guards. "Boss, Moriarty's brother is here!"

"Okay, this is your last warning, next time you won't get one, good thing my boy was not in it. I'm leaving you this time, go now" said Asher calmly.

"James, what a surprise!" gushed Asher. "I'm just here to tell you that I'm not going to get that tape for you. I'm not going against my brother!" said James.

"you know your brother is trafficking kids, right?" said Asher. Moriarity was a don too he was trafficking kids and girls with the help of 'thy enforcers' weapons. That was the reason Asher was so pissed that if anything happens, they will immediately track them because of the weapons.

"I know."

"well then you are of no use to us!" said Asher and immediately shot him neat in the head. James fell and Asher heard a faint gasp from the window.

"that girl, she watched us. Bring her!" demanded Asher to the guards. Dia saw he shot that man straight in his head. She couldn't believe what she saw. She just wanted to admire that Ferrari which was parked there and she took a picture of that car too.

"oh shit, shit, shit, he's gonna kill me too, he is a murderer, I should the call police, I shouldn't have stayed, stupid Ferrari." Dia started running for her life. Oh God, it was indeed her last day. She was running so fast that she almost didn't see a boy approaching. She fell taking the boy down on the ground.

"I'm sorry, are you okay? We gotta run okay," she blurted.

The boy was too young to understand any of that. He struggled to get out of her grip but the run was over. Asher caught her.

"stand behind me, okay?" she said to that boy almost bursting into tears.

."I almost liked you, but your timing is horrendous, you have to die too"

He saw she was hiding the boy behind her, Asher paused for a minute and kept the gun behind. She knew that Asher has noticed she was hiding her.

"no, don't do it!"

"Please don't kill me, I will not say a word about this, I swear. Just let me go please, you will never see me again." she pleaded.

Then the other second, he witnessed she was protecting the boy and he was astounded to see that.

"Hand him over!" Asher demanded. "why so you can shoot him too?" Dia said. She don't know why she was protecting that boy but she did.

"don't do it, he is just a boy, don't kill him too." she pleaded.

The boy was standing there facing Dia's back while she surrounded him with her arms to protect him. The boy was still struggling to get out of her hold not understanding anything that was happening.

"Daddy?" said the boy.

#mafialovestory #mafiaromance #enemiestolovers #arranged marriage

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mango-whines-about-wrighting · 2 years ago

Text

They were warm and comfortable. They felt something wrapped around them. It was tracing designs around each screw securing their back panel, figures of eight, spirals and zigzagging between them. It was nice.

Ao3~

… they did it again, didn't they? They opened their eyes. They couldn't see anything but dark green. They realized they were wrapped around Wormwood's torso, arms around his chest, legs around his waist.

But he woke up first. Why didn't he yell or push them away? Was this real? They squeezed him. He felt real. He chuckled and squeezed them back.

It's real, he's ok with it. He isn't pushing away, he's holding them close. Exactly what he does with the others. They felt themself relax again. They wrapped just a little bit tighter around him.

They nearly entered rest mode again, but just before they did Wormwood giggled, "awww, clingy." No, they weren't clingy.

They wouldn't stand for this slander, "nooooooooo…" they don't care that he is in fact correct, it's the premise of the matter.

He giggled again. And stopped rubbing their back. "Then, friend, want free?" They shook their head and hugged him even tighter.

He didn't start again so they passive aggressively shoved their back at his hands until he did. He giggled again and traced a zigzag down their back. They heard Winona's voice behind them, "not clingy at all, they claim."

Oh, they didn't know she was there. They began untangling from Wormwood immediately. Once they were free, they stared at the ground and awkwardly.

"SORRY, I UH…" they fiddled with their hands. They didn't wanna say they couldn't quite control themself when they're sleepy. It's a bad excuse, and it's an embarrassing failing.

Winona slung an arm around their shoulders. "Well, now that Wx is up, you two can finally help with breakfast." They nodded. And started mixing as Wormwood added ingredients and Winona made juice.

Prepping breakfast was calm, nearly the same as yesterday. Except along with shoulder taps, pats on the back, and friendly kicks. They got half second hugs and Wormwood leaning on them as they cooked or playfully twirling them as they waited. It was nice.

It was really, really nice. It was far too nice to last. They so desperately wanted it to last, and it was going great. But they know they aren't lucky enough for that.

Something will happen, something will go wrong. A new monster will show up, or a fire, or worst-case scenario and they'll all realize Wx isn't worth the trouble.

They ate together. Wx sat first, carefully leaving the rest of the log free so as to not force anyone to be too close. Wormwood, ever clueless about social cues, sat right next to them.

It was nice, they'll admit. They liked that his arm would bump into theirs when he talked or laughed. They liked his leg leaning against theirs. They liked it, they really liked it.

They were so hyper focused on how nice it was they missed most of the conversation. They did gather that tonight was a full moon and Wormwood and Winona were going to go on a quest. They were going to get a bug, they think.

Wx did their chores, gathered more glands (and silk), and mined for more gold. then they cooked dinner for only themself and Walter because the other two already left.

They listened to his story and discussed what needed to be done tomorrow. and they went to their own tent to sleep.

They tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. Their arms hurt, so they held their pillow. But it was cold to the touch, and not solid enough.

They were cold and lonely and miserable. And they kept flinching at every noise. Now that they've had two days of blissful, easy sleep, they don't remember how they used to cope.

They heard running that came to a sudden stop at their tent. "W- Wx, are- are you, um, are you awake?" Walter's voice was more cracky than normal. They shuffled out of bed and opened the flaps. Walter was standing there holding a sleepy Woby.

His eyes were red, and he was shaking. "uh, Woby had a nightmare, she's really scared, can we sleep with you?" Wx stepped aside to let them in.

They lay back down, Walter curled into their chest, which couldn't possibly be comfortable. Woby lay between their legs. "WH-" they should be soft. They don't want to upset him any further.

They knew it probably wasn't actually Woby who was distressed. But they'll play along anyway, as to spare them both the embarrassment. "what was Woby's bad dream about?" Walter hugged them tighter.

He was quiet for a while. "it's stupid…" they pat his back awkwardly.

"I can't believe you'd make fun of Woby's feelings like that. She's clearly distressed." Woby was not in fact distressed. She fell asleep almost instantly.

Walter giggled slightly. "yeah, terrified out of her mind." He fell quiet again. Wx attempted to rub his back. They don't know what they were doing, they hope it doesn't show. "It was my dream actually I uh,"

He sniffled pathetically. Was Wx doing something wrong? Comfort was supposed to stop the leaking, wasn't it? "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Walter shook his head.

"No, it's ok. It was a hound attack, a bad one." He sniffled again. "both fire, varglets, normal and uh…" he fell quiet, Wx didn't push him. He continued a few moments later. "A fire started, I tried to find you guys but- but- but-" Wx hugged him close, and tried to ignore the sting of his tears touching their skin.

They continued rubbing his back. Eventually he stopped crying and his breathing evened out.

~~☆°○♡○°☆~~

Walter could hear the others cooking outside. He opened his eyes and met nothing but copper. Oh, right. He had the nightmare again.

Winona wasn't there so he went to Wx. And… and He cried. He cried on them. He probably hurt them too. Just because he can't handle a silly dream. How embarrassing…

They were still asleep, maybe. It's kinda hard to tell, but their eyes are closed and they aren't moving. So it's a definite, maybe.

He tried to wiggle out of Wx's grasp, but they wouldn't let go. He can't tell if they're actively trying to hold him or if they become an immovable object when asleep.

He tried again. They held him tighter. That answers that question. He rolled his eyes.

Woby appeared his salvation. "Woby, help mee." The dog tilted her head, Walter made an imploring gesture.

Woby decided that the perfect way to help was to lie down on him. she's lucky she's so cute. Walter sighed in resignation and scratched behind Wobys ears. "Good girl."

#Wx #Wx dst #Wx don't starve #Wx-78 #Wx-78 dst #Wx-78 don't starve #Winona #Winona dst #Wormwood #Wormwood dst #dst #ds #don't starve #don't starve together #dst fanfic #mangos scribbles #Wx's very small very manageable problem

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maxwell-grant · 3 years ago

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AIUI, Burbank is even more a question mark than The Shadow is; we don't know if that's a personal name, surname, or nickname, we no nothing of his past, his personal life, or even (again, AIUI) his personality. Is that something that should be kept in adaptations, or ought he be developed more?

Both.

The thing about developing a mystery is that you still need to have something in place to purposefully obscure or slowly reveal. You still need to give your audience tidbits and information here and there that makes them want to learn more and find out what the answer is, even if they know it's never really happening, even if the answer couldn't possibly live up to the hype.

Twin Peaks was able to delay the mystery of Laura Palmer's murder for an entire season and more partially because Laura Palmer had such an rich, troubled inner life and turmoil, that we could gradually receive snippets of information regarding it every episode and still not know the whole story, so much so that, even after we learned who did it, there were still many, many stories to be told within Laura Palmer's life and the city. This holds true for The Shadow, and it holds true for Burbank.

Gibson successfully created intrigue regarding Burbank because, not only was Burbank a crucially important figure in The Shadow's organization and therefore someone we'd want to know more about, but because everytime Burbank showed up to play a substantial role, you could gleam something new about him. Burbank is a great example of staging in The Shadow pulps because his scenes are often written as if we were watching a movie where the head of our main character keeps being blocked from view, until it's revealed, and it doesn't really help us understand him much better than before, even though we've come to learn more about what he acts and looks like.

In fact, The Shadow even seems to be aware of this, such as in the scene below when the narration goes to great lenghts to obscure Burbank's face, even in a scene when there is literally no one around but Burbank and The Shadow. Why go through this much trouble to obscure Burbank from no one but the reader? Why not just refrain from describing what he looks like instead of making sure we can't even imagine what he looks like in our heads in the scene? What's the mystery over what's ostensibly just an average quiet-faced man? And so Burbank doesn't become just a mystery, but a tantalizing one.

The fellow's back was toward the light; since the elevator was dark, it was impossible to distinguish his features. When he helped The Shadow carry the boxes to an open apartment, the bulky objects came in front of the man's face. Since the apartment was dark, too, the features of this silent companion remained as concealed as The Shadow's own.

The fact pleased The Shadow. The less people who saw Burbank, the better - Voice of Death

For example, we do know where Burbank's name comes from, and potentially his first name. In both “The Shadow Laughs” and “The Case Of Congressman Coyd,” Burbank is referred to as “Mr. Burbank,” which indicates it's a last name. In The Death Giver, Burbank hands Harry a business card

At three fifteen, the stenographer entered and tendered Harry a card. It bore the name:

L. BURBANK MOTION PICTURE OPERATOR

A later story specifically namedrops famous horticulturist Luther Burbank, and according to Will Murray, Walter Gibson did confirm to him personally that Burbank was named after Luther Burbank.

We know Burbank's main feature is that he's "quiet-faced" with a "soft, even-toned voice", and that characters can recognize Burbank by his voice even when his face is obscured, but his look isn't consistent. His sole appearence in a cover comes from The Lone Tiger, where he seems to be past his fifties and being semi-bald, but it's not how he looks in Edd Cartier's illustration where he's got a hairdo. Both seem to be somewhat based on Dr David Burbank, the New Hampshire dentist who founded the city. He's been said to be at least 40 once, and this in itself is at odds with some descriptions that place Burbank as younger than The Shadow and describe him as "a young man with a solemn look", which is more in line with how he tends to be depicted in comics, particularly the blonde man with the eyepiece designed by Michael Kaluta.

We know he was officially introduced after Harry Vincent and Claude Fellows, but that apparently he's known The Shadow for quite a while, as he (as Cranston) refers to Burbank as "an old friend" in his introduction (is he an old friend of Cranston as well?). Robert Sampson speculated that the two met in 1924 at a radio station, where as Rick Lai speculates that Burbank may have been recruited in an unrecorded adventure in Rio de Janeiro, mentioned in Gypsy Vengeance, that took place between the first and second novels.

We know that Burbank is at a rather unique position among the agents because he is maybe the most important figure in The Shadow's network, the main keeper of The Shadow's secrets, the one entrusted to run the organization on The Shadow's absence, the only one who can directly reach The Shadow in the Sanctum, and if anyone knows anything about whatever secrets there are in The Shadow's past, it's definitely him, but he's also the one we know the least about as a person, and contrary to the other agents, Burbank is often described in mechanized terms, which gives him a rather inhuman aura somewhat different than that of The Shadow's.

In a sense, Burbank was the mainspring of the machinery that The Shadow used in his warfare against crime.

As contact man, he kept in touch with all the active agents; there were times when he actually ran things, during The Shadow's absence. Tonight was one of those rare occasions when Burbank was needed on active duty.

Nevertheless, the human cogwheel had connected up a switchboard and had a short−wave radio set handy, so that he could continue his contact duties from this empty apartment - Voice of Death

When emergency demanded, Burbank served as he now was serving. Instead of making calls to the deserted sanctum, he was issuing orders in The Shadow's stead. - The Key

Everytime Burbank gets any sort of spotlight, we learn a little more about him, who he is, what he can't and can do. His methods, what he does to spend the time, some of the things he does for The Shadow outside of communications like planting recording devices in criminal hide-outs and devising or managing electrical devices and The Shadow's advanced technology (even if he doesn't fully understand it).

"Burbank began his own attempt to scale the wall. Ordinarily, his clutches would have been inadequate, and his toe holds were uncertain. But the wire was drawing upward under The Shadow's haul. It gave the needed support whenever Burbank floundered. The Shadow could actually sense his agent's progress by the varying strain upon the wire. At last, Burbank flopped over the roof edge like a landed fish" - Masters of Death

There were remarkable devices here. Burbank understood some of them, but the millionaire alone was familiar with all the equipment - Eyes of The Shadow

“To Burbank, long, lone vigils were nothing. He was not a man of action; he was one of endurance. Prompt, precise and always dependable, Burbank had served The Shadow well.“ - The Key

During his long hours of duty, he resorted to one methodical habit as he bided away the time. He always had a supply of chewing gum.” - The Killer

Burbank leaned back in his chair. His position was one of patient relaxation. While he awaited new telephone calls, his attitude was one of complete passivity. There was nothing excitable in the make-up of this man who sat with his back toward the light. Yet Burbank was a man of amazing endurance. In place of action, he exercised untiring vigilance. It was this quality that made him a most important factor in the affairs of that amazing personage known as The Shadow - The Killer

Burbank is, at once, the barrier between the agents (and by extension, us) and The Shadow, as well as the bridge that allows the agents (and us) to find and reach The Shadow.

And I do like it that Burbank's specifically said to not be cut for action, that he's not really a fighter or a marksman or even a super tech genius, on paper he's really just a guy who sits in a chair all day fiddling with radio equipment. But he is still cool and impressive by the standards of what matters most in The Shadow's world. He's patient and resourceful and vigilant and clever and trustworthy, and he's someone that The Shadow trusts more so than anyone else.

There was no sound of the door closing; no sound, indeed, to indicate that any person had moved in that direction. Yet Burbank knew, from experience, that his master, The Shadow, had departed, after giving him the sign that his vigil was ended.

Such word usually came from The Shadow’s sanctum. Tonight, being in the vicinity of Burbank’s present station, The Shadow had preferred to give his faithful agent fifteen or twenty minutes of extra respite by visiting him in person

Such was the way of The Shadow. Though none of his trusted operatives had ever seen his undisguised face; though his ways and actions were secret and mysterious to them; they received constant signs of The Shadow’s appreciation of their reliable cooperation - Death Triangle

In Suite 808, a figure was seated in front of the writing table. It was The Shadow, in his guise as Arnaud; Burbank was off duty, asleep in the other room.

The telephone buzzed; The Shadow answered it. He spoke in a quiet, methodical tone, a perfect imitation of Burbank's voice. Harry Vincent reported - The Case of Congressman Coyd

On one hand, I don't think the "mystery" of Burbank is ever going to be ruined, or should be ruined. But on the other hand, I definitely think there's a lot of room to explore more regarding what exactly is he as a person, as an agent, what kind of roles he plays, what is his connection to The Shadow or what relationship he has with other agents or other people he's meant to be in more direct contact with. I think it's a matter of balance.

There's a lot of room to work with particularly regarding how you could adapt Burbank into adaptations set in different time periods (not necessarily modern day), because with how communication technology had advanced beyond imagination, there's a lot of ways you could adapt or recontextualize Burbank, The Shadow's social network.

#replies tag #pulp heroes #pulp fiction #the shadow #shadow magazine #burbank #shadow comics

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smolbeandrabbles · 4 years ago

Text

Penguin, James Penguin - Killian x Reader (Spies in Disguise)

Alternate Title: ‘I Wish I Was James Bond’

Holiday Fic 5! 🐧🐧

@wltz-bby @happyskywhale

@xxstar-bluesxx - From one Killian Stan, to another 😉

Author’s Note: It is EXACTLY a year since I saw this movie for the first time.

I had way too much fun writing these two again, safe to say I missed them a lot 🥰🥰

Not joking, this plot has been in my notes since January - and I was like “Well I missed my chance completely with the song and everything!” It’s too good not to pass up!!

Reader character from my SiD series/prequel? You betcha! 😉 But this time we’re writing for them post-movie!

Also playing into the rehabilitation program / Agent!McFord storyline here. So I hope, Killian Stans, that he’s been worth the wait to come back to you. And that I’m ticking a bunch of boxes.

Note: Whilst the song itself certainly has a Christmas theme, the fic does not. At all.

Penguin, James Penguin - Brad Paisley

I Wish I Was James Bond - Scouting For Girls

Disclaimer: SiD & all associated characters not mine / basically taking the same idea as everyone else and slightly subverting expectations, because it wouldn’t be my fic if I didn’t / you don’t necessarily have to read ‘Mine’ to ‘Fresh Start Fever’ to understand this but it might help / lyrics & gifs not mine.

Premise: In an attempt to figure out how Walters Bio-molecular tech works, Killian ends up getting it wrong with disastrous (hilarious) results...

Words: 6793

Warnings: Christmas themed lyrics/No Christmas themed fic / if you squint there’s some slight sexual banter at the end there /

______

I've got another story That I bet you haven't heard Did you know that Santa Has a secret agent bird From an undisclosed location He's watching me and you He's got satellite uplinks in his cufflinks Yeah he sees everything you do He's Penguin, James Penguin That dapper little guy Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux He's Santa's secret spy Not so very long ago Santa didn't need much help But with more and more kids every year He soon got overwhelmed He told the elves one Christmas We can't do this anymore Then a knight in shining polyester Waddled through his door And it was Penguin, James Penguin He was there to save the day He had wireless And GPS outfitted on the sleigh And Santa said Penguin Won't you be my ears and eyes How'd you like to help me run My SCFBI He's Penguin, James Penguin And now I guess you've heard How Santa got his little Christmas Secret Agent Bird

---

I've seen you walk the screen, it's you that I adore Since I was a boy I wanted to be like Roger Moore A girl in every port, and gadgets up my sleeve The world is not enough for the both of us it seems Hello Mr Bond, I've been expecting you Martini in your hand, and that eyebrow that you move Don't take this the wrong way, I know it might sound odd I'm the next double-0, I'm the right man for the job I wanted to be you, I wanted to be you I wanted to be someone else And I wish I was James Bond Just for the day Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away And I wish I was James Bond Just for the day Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away And I wish I was James Bond Just for the day Kissing all the girls, blow the bad guys away Roger and Sean and Timmy and George And Daniel and Pierce and maybe one day me

---

The light grey clouds rolled over the mountains on the horizon line. By the colour alone you suspected that you were due heavy snowfall. Up in a mountaintop hideaway you were growing used to such things... no bright blue sky today.

You folded your arms with a sigh; still, a little bit of sunshine would be nice.

KiTT - your assistance drone - beeped every so often as he moved about the room, doing the odd task. Other than that, the house was silent, for now. Your eyes hovered on the helicopter outside and then back to the clouds; would there be a chance of getting out of here for the next few days? You knew cars would be out of the question, it was treacherous even in snow fairing vehicles... Note to self: Next time choose a boyfriend whose idea of a home is not a typical villain’s hide out. Although you supposed it fit his role in all this. At least to the Agency. Things had changed a lot since Killian had tried to take everyone out with his own drones, but they were still very wary of him. You found yourself tasked with keeping him straight - you weren’t sure they understood your relationship. But agreed anyway.

Having finished his tasks and now bored, KiTT whirred his way back over to you, beeping his greeting. Blue lights flashing. You shook your head at him, “What would you have me do? I’ve given you everything I had on my list, why don’t you ask him if he needs any help?” KiTT’s next series of bleeps had you laughing; “I’m sure he didn’t mean to kick you out like that. K just needs to concentrate. You can get pretty loud!” Your drone protested, which only made you giggle. Especially as he tried to make the argument that he couldn’t possibly be any worse than the rest of them.

KiTT had a point: the drones that the Agency had let you take back now helped both you and Killian with lab work - amongst other things – and, with your own expertise in AI, each now had their own distinctive personality just as KiTT did. Sometimes you regretted that decision. Although they couldn’t have been further from his blue and silver finish; in sleek black and red lights. Fitting for your significant other maybe, but it made little sense to you for the Agency to have given them such colours. (And if you were honest, KiTT looks a damn sight better, but you supposed there was a bit of favouritism in that comment.) “Oh, yeah. Cuz nothing says evil robot quite like red lights.” Killian couldn’t clap back at that, KiTT was exclusively blue. “I didn’t design it.” “I know. Which begs the question, why the Agency was building an assassination drone.” He folded his arms, “Well they don’t care, do they?” Protection by any means necessary. Stop the bad guys by any means necessary. “Well...” You raised your eyebrows and tipped your head in agreement. He’d know a lot about that alright...

You found yourself looking back to the clouds and sighed, “You could always go check the weather for me if you’re really that desperate. Or if you could figure out a really quick weather changing machine?” If you could count KiTT’s next sound as a scoff you would, before blue lights ran across his body to let you know he was contacting weather satellites for you.

The sudden crash behind you snapped you both from caring about the weather. It was followed by a slightly smaller - but still loud – one, and then silence again. You immediately started towards the labs, “On second thought, sounds like I should have just asked you to go straight to him!”

When you both got down there it was a little hard to tell what had happened. At first it looked like nothing too serious; work surfaces scattered with tools, screens full of science mechanics... until you spotted the broken glass beakers and liquid running across the surface of a worktop, dripping onto the floor. “K?!” He didn’t appear to be in here, and yet none of his drones were either, which made you think it also hadn’t been them to make this mess. Or they’d made themselves scarce. You turned the lights up a little further and kept walking, cautiously. Well - for one thing, the floor was now covered in broken glass and curious liquids… they should probably be tidied up at the very least. Good thing your drone was in a working mood. There was another sound from further in the lab that made you jump, and you turned towards it. KiTT made a sound of worry. “Hush, clear this away, I got it.” He beeped again, “I’ll be FINE. Cybernetic, remember!?” KiTT’s next beep caused you to glare at him, “Don’t use that tone with me-!”

You made your way carefully over to the noise, stepping around the glass that had been spat all over the floor. You were sure it’d made its way to unknown reaches of the lab, and you should be careful where you were stepping. Sure, you wouldn’t bleed, but thanks to the upgrades it’d still hurt. When you turned the corner, you came face to face with a huddled form. Your head tilted curiously; eyebrow raised. You recognised it alright: but it was more the mystery of how it got in here. It might well have been the source of the crash - after all, you wouldn’t think a penguin to be very careful in a lab. You were just thinking about how you were supposed to catch it and then tell your partner: “Well, a penguin got into the house, and then your lab somehow, and destroyed all your research. Sorry about that-!”, when it turned towards you and-

“AGH-!!” This time you didn’t jump, although both of you were startled. Your eyes widened even further as you stared at him, on the verge of collapsing into laughter. “K?!” The laugh wavered in your voice and you tried to swallow it back, “What did you do?” Killian was very blunt about it; “Turned myself into a penguin, alright. Are you happy now?” “How?” - Trying not to laugh was having the opposite effect and he sighed. “Go on, laugh-!” You did, but still tried to make it muted, before taking a deep breath, “What the hell...? Did you try to copy Walter’s formula-!?” “Well, it didn’t work did it-!” “They are all pigeons; although this is appropriate for our living conditions.” You crouched beside him, “...I gotta say, it’s very cute.” “Shut up!” You knew, were he still human, he’d be red with both anger and embarrassment by now. You reached out to delicately touch his feathers; it seemed, just like Sterling managed to retain the bow tie, Killian would retain the outlines of his suit. He swatted your hand away and hissed; “Stop it!” “Just take the antidote. I mean, it’s all over the desk, but I’m sure we can salvage some of it. I assume you are trying for a pigeon, right? Or maybe you aren’t; gotta say I prefer penguins.” “Thanks.” He responded dryly. You only grinned your ‘you’re welcome’ and then stood to walk back to his desk; even if KiTT had managed to clear everything by now, if Killian had all the data, creating another batch of antidote shouldn’t take too long, and you could enjoy him as a penguin for a few minutes... or hours... more. “No! Wait! Y/N!” He hissed again, flippers grabbing your leg. “What?” Killian gave you a look of significance. Your eyes narrowed; “You took it without making an antidote!?!” “I took it accidentally!! And I had an antidote, it just wasn’t perfected-! Now I’m stuck as a flightless bird-!” “Deadly in water though.” You mused, tilting your head – that was not well received. Killian grumbled, huffing something under his breath. “So, this isn’t Walter’s formula?” “No!” Although it didn’t look like he was prepared to admit it. And you weren’t sure exactly how he managed to take it ‘accidentally’. “I did it myself!” “Well, this part worked.” You continued walking though, which made him waddle after you as fast as he could, “WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?!” “Uhm, to get Walter. He’ll be able to fix this-!” “No!!” He got ahead of you and tried to push you backwards, you halted; you supposed you understood why he wouldn’t want to admit what he’d done. You thought Walter would actually love that Killian’s formula was at least correct, even if he couldn’t reverse it yet. “What are you going to do Killian? Perfect the antidote as a Penguin? Think about this-!” “I AM!” “Rationally.” You stooped again and gathered him in your arms, to which he squirmed until you set him on a clear desk. “He’s the only one who can help you.” “I can do this myself..!” “As a flightless bird?” He’d been the one to say it-! He sighed, but was still unwilling to concede. Folding his flippers across his chest and turning slightly away from you. You stroked a hand over his feathers again, and grumpy as he was, you felt Killian lean into your touch and smirked as you teased him. “We could be halfway to D.C. by now...” He turned to you, eyes narrowed, and pushed your fingers away again, gentler this time. “Fine. But not a word to anyone.” “I promise.” You placed your hand over your heart. “And don’t pick me up again. It’s embarrassing.” You raised an eyebrow, folding your own arms, “So... what are you going to do, waddle around after me?” “Yup.” Killian jumped down from the counter, sliding across the floor to the exit, passing KiTT who beeped curiously and looked to you. You gave a shrug and rolled your eyes. “You coming?”

It didn’t take very long to gather all that you needed and throw yourselves into the helicopter. You thanked your lucky stars that he’d taught you how to fly this thing. Your eyes flicked back to those clouds, “KiTT what did the weather say?” He beeped the response; cold, very cold, chance of snow later but the clouds may have been long gone by then. What concerned you most was if the chopper would fly, he seemed to suggest you’d be fine.

You took a deep breath and flicked all the switches to their correct positions before starting the ignition, blades whirring into life. Your penguin turned to you from his seat, where you’d firmly belted him in. “You sure you know what you’re doing!?! You have to get us all the way to Washington D.C.!” You glared at him, “You wanna try it in your current situation!? You taught me!!” Killian knew he had no choice but to concede. “Just be careful! Nothing reckless!” “Says the man that just turned himself into a Penguin-!” “It was accidental-!” His voice pitched. You placed your hands assuredly on the joystick and moved the helicopter steadily into the air and into higher altitudes. “Accidental my ass, how do you take something like that accidentally-!?” There was overwhelming silence and you knew you’d won again. But sighed, saying softer, “Look, it doesn’t matter...” You pulled out across the mountains and smiled at the blue sky out across your horizon line, the end of this grey was in sight-! “Walter will have you fixed into a sarcastic, Australian, pain-in-the-ass by the end of the day.” Even Killian couldn’t help but laugh at that.

How exactly did you end up in this mess? It’s probably best to go back to the beginning...

Shortly after the whole drone revenge plan had failed, you received an anonymous text telling you to bring a car to a building close to the Capitol Reflecting Pool and Washington Monument. It said nothing more than that, but it made you curious. Upon running it through KiTT and discovering it was from the Agency, your curiosity was only further piqued. And on the dot of the specified time, you were standing outside the building leaning against your car, shades on. To be honest you probably couldn’t have looked less inconspicuous, and you wondered if the Agency, in reality, were about to laugh at you for being so gullible and arrest you too. Well, you’d escaped from them before, and that was more than just a few upgrades ago.

The doors of the building opposite slid open and your mouth was suddenly agape, you slid your shades slowly from your eyes, unable to hide your shock. Stepping into daylight - in a brand-new suit - was none other than Killian himself.

His smile was gentle as he made his way down the steps to you, and your heart was hammering against your ribs. As Killian stopped in front of you, you couldn’t help yourself but throw your arms around him. “Am- am- am I here to pick you up!?” God I missed you, I missed you, I missed you… He chucked, returning your embrace, “I believe that’s the idea, yeah.” “They just let you go!?” Killian placed his right hand in his pocket and huffed, “Well. That’s not exactly it, I had to bargain my way out...” You surveyed him for a minute, all his cybernetics seemed intact; he didn’t look messed with. Running a full diagnostic would give you the whole picture, but you were puzzled. “What’s the price?” “Joining the good guys.” You pulled slightly back, “You’re working for the Agency!?” He gave a nod, “That’s the deal.” “Double cross all your acquaintances?” You smiled, leaning back against the car, “Does kinda sound like you... Oh. Wow. You’re an informant?” “Not exactly.” Your eyes widened further than you felt possible; “You’re an agent!?” “You got it.” But Killian’s smile slightly faded, “Y/N, I- I was only part of the bargain, though.” You understood him immediately, “Me? They want me.” “You’re an inspired scientist; your expertise in the fusion of human biology and robotics… not to mention AI- they can use that. It’s not really even me they want working with them, it’s you.” “You offered me up as a chip!?” You couldn’t help but be a little upset at him for that. “You’re the only chip I had to play!” Even by the desperate look on his face you shook your head, “No.” “I need you with me on this, you think I was gonna do it without you?” His hand reached for yours, and you didn’t pull away. “So, are we... a team?” “Well, about that—-” His eyes flicked over his shoulder and you both turned.

Standing in the doorway now - each with a wildly different expression on their face - were Walter, Lance and... you believed her name was Marcy. Your eyes flicked to his face and back to them. Walter was the only one that seemed to show any kind of joy; and he was ecstatic. You pushed back just about every swear word you could think of. “You’re kidding me?”

He was not, in fact, kidding and after being hauled into a two-hour meeting - which you felt really explained nothing - you were essentially handed a file and an ultimatum. Either you worked with them, or you were thrown in a maximum-security prison. You had to laugh, because you didn’t think this was exactly fair on you. And they had you between a rock and a hard place... Killian and you had always had the same vendetta against the Agency since Kyrgyzstan (maybe his a little more aggressive than yours), and you had a life outside all of this. You couldn’t afford not to take their offer. The Agency knew it.

That made you a lot less mad at him for signing you up, and you turned down the opportunity to vent to him on the drive back; “What do I call you now? Agent McFord!?” “Shut up!” The faint blush across his face made you smile and tease him again: “You do know all that James Bond stuff was a joke, right-!?”

It was one of your favourites. The two of you loved spy movies, unironically. And Killian really liked the classic Bond films, how any time he’d make himself a certain drink you’d come for him with the same joke: “Is that a martini!?” “Yes-??” He was always curious as to why that mattered, only for you to give a pointed smirk, “Alright... James Bond!” And he laughed, hard. And you loved that sound, because it was such a rarity these days, “Surely in this situation Sterling is James Bond...?” Then you smirked again, and gave Killian your best flirty wink, “Not to me!” That seemed to always get you where you wanted. And wasn’t 007 known for his way with the ladies, after all?

Today in your car Killian did not raise to the bait, but you saw him shake his head as he stared out the window. “So, are you going by Tristan or Killian…?” There was a little smile on his face as he continued to stare at the scenery, “I’ll leave that up to you…” Your sudden gasp had him looking back to you as something else gelled in your brain; “Wait does that mean I get to say I’m dating a secret agent!?” “Oh god.” His groan was quiet and you were already grinning, enjoying yourself even more. “You should never have agreed to this!” “Clearly.” “Wait—!” You turned to him in absolute joy, “Can you just put on a British accent for like five minutes-!?” “NO!” And you noticed how he managed to accent his Australian to new levels. Clearly his childhood wish to be James Bond was getting fulfilled, but he wasn’t about to play into it for your whims...

You’d figure out how to break that will before long-!

It took Killian a little more time than he would have liked to convince you that his deal was a good one. You were basically flat out refusing to work for them, doing the bare minimum you possibly could get away with; it felt too much like coercion to you, and they must have known how much you stood to lose.

His first track was to use Walter; with both similar approaches to science & technology and similar levels of enthusiasm for it, the work it would be possible for you to do together would be nothing short of incredible, and both of you knew it. You acknowledged Killian was right, but it wasn’t something you fell for. The files Killian gave you, the access to read about the technology... that interested you. The potential to further yourself in your own field, even if it had to be done with the Agency, was a good draw. But still not enough.

So Killian did the one thing he could, and played the last card he had left. Himself. Baiting you with his own fate. “If they say I’m not doing my job and throw me back where I came from, what then?” You hated him for it, hated even more that he had a point. Hated yourself for having to admit you couldn’t be without him. You’d almost gone stir crazy between his arrest and picking him up. You couldn’t stand to think of it being any longer than that. Too much of a pain point, your one line. You’d both lost enough; you refused to let yourselves lose each other.

You did not become an agent though. Your role was strictly technology and it confined you to the labs. Which you had to be honest, you enjoyed. And because you had your own job – and were a name the industry knew well – you weren’t a full time Agency employee. Your research saved lives – was the reason you still had yours – the Agency couldn’t exactly stop you working on good conscience. Even better! The tension in the team didn’t really let up, but the combination of the four of you (and Marcy and co when necessary) worked well. You all got more done than any other team in the Agency.

Still, the enjoyment of working alone, or with Walter, didn’t stop you from itching to get out there or complaining about it to Killian. “Oh. I see I’m not an agent.” “Less expendable than I.” “Out of me and you, how am I-” “You have a reputation beyond the Agency and they know it. You’re the poster child of cybernetics. They did it to save your brain; didn’t you tell me that yourself?” “You made this...” You indicated to the parts of your body that were, indeed, cybernetic. “Yes, I did.” He touched his forehead to yours, “but the top half of you is flesh and blood and I do not possess the brain you do. For now, you’re best staying in the lab.” Walter didn’t stay in the lab and it made you antsy; running around with Killian or getting to do stuff for him was half the fun.

And eventually you whined enough to get to accompany him on missions, even though you still didn’t get to be an agent.

You had a few style tips for your 007 too. In the same vein as Lance Sterling, Killian’s crisp new Agency suit was complete with bow tie and dazzlingly white shirt. You couldn’t help yourself, looking him over. Oh, sure, Killian looked great, but he didn’t look like him. As you strolled over, Killian stood still and as tall as possible: his obvious thought was that you we’re going to straighten his bow tie. Not a chance! Instead, you unfurled it and threw the fabric to one side, proceeding to undo one... two... you hovered over the third button. Killian placed his hand over yours, “Isn’t that enough?” He should have known that was a fatal mistake to say; “For me? No!” You took a step back with a smile, at the creased eyebrow and small frown look on his face, surveying your handy work: “Mmm. That’s more you. Agent McFord.” And so this was how he started to wear his suits, and before long that signature blue shirt found its way back into the mix, much to your delight.

It was on these missions together that you both became curious in Walter’s biomolecular tech. You from a purely scientific fascination. He had Sterling turning from man to pigeon left, right and centre. And the two of you had drones (now equipped with AI), but even you didn’t have anything like that. Clearly Killian’s interest had become a little more than just the spectacle and scientific theory though.

No, clearly he’d tried to replicate it for himself. And the result hasn’t exactly gone as planned. You supposed he wasn’t about to allow Lance to one up him for the rest of his Agency career - however long that lasted. And Killian wanted to get back on level footing without Walters help; he wanted to do it himself.

And it had worked, a very valiant attempt, but he hadn’t finished his antidote or had miscalculated somewhere... And that was how you had all ended up in a helicopter flying yourself to the Agency labs, with a penguin in the passenger seat.

Yet with what you’d seen working here, this just seemed like a typical day!

***

You landed to the best of your ability, ignoring his slight glare of annoyance at the small bump as you set the helicopter down. You would call that trip a success. You stared at the heavy doors in front of you and gathered your pass; you heard KiTT behind you and his metallic fussing as he switched himself into all the correct safety modes and access clearances for the Agency. That you had done yourself; you didn’t trust Killian with KiTT, did they really think they would get the go ahead to touch him? Turning to Killian you cleared your throat; “You gotta act like a penguin remember-! So don’t talk to me! Or do anything a penguin wouldn’t do!” “What wouldn’t a penguin do!?” You unclipped his seatbelt. Well, you supposed a researcher would know, or someone that worked with them closely in a zoo. But he couldn’t just guess the Agency’s experience. Then again, it wouldn’t surprise you if he knew everyone in it inside out by now. “Look, I don’t know. But don’t make me talk to you, I’m going to look like an insane person-!” Realising that you were both still talking to each other you shared the same ‘shut up!’ look before agreeing not to talk with a silent nod, and with both KiTT and penguin Killian trailing you, you headed across the helipad with your Agency pass.

Here we go again...

God, you hated this building. Most times you’d been out here it hadn’t been for any good reason - and you still didn’t feel particularly safe within it. And so many people… Even when you worked your legitimate job you usually worked alone - or with people you actually liked - you could talk to yourself or KiTT and run your mouth, or talk things through without anyone answering you. Everyone at the Agency had an opinion. When it was just you and Walter it was okay, and Killian was right, you liked him. But sometimes other people got involved and it got messy. To the point where Walter would gingerly steer you from the room before you really went off at someone.

You keyed yourself in; immediately scanned by the Agency’s automatic sensors, the switch turned green and the door swung open for you. You hesitated for a moment and looked down to Killian. “I know you’re gonna hate this, but I’m going to have to carry you through security. I think that’s all there is for it.” You didn’t let him answer as you picked him up but, as before, Killian protested by squirming in your arms as you walked down the hall to the security area. “Geez, now I look like I’m smuggling in a penguin…”

You gained some funny looks for doing so, but you need only say the word research and they let you through with him. As you turned into the next corridor, through the next security door and it all looked empty, Killian nipped at your fingers; “OW! Okay… Geez-!” You put him back on the ground, only for him to shake out his ruffled feathers with a ‘humph!’ The corridors remained silent as you took the long way down to the research centre. And Killian switched from waddling to sliding around on his stomach. You watched with curiosity; you supposed that was faster for him than trying to keep up with you. You turned to KiTT with a raised eyebrow, only to see him also focused with puzzlement on the penguin. Knowing you weren’t about to get anything sensible out of your drone, you spoke once again to your boyfriend: “Is that easier to move, or is it just fun?” Killian barely glanced up at you, but you knew the look he was giving: ‘you’re the one that said don’t talk!’ He was right, but this corridor was empty, the last 10 corridors had been empty! “Geez you can just nod.” You were met with nearly exactly the same look, before he paused, nodded, and carried on his sliding. “It’s fun? You are too cute.”

It took you until the next door for him to stand up and retaliate, but when Killian did, he smacked your leg as best he could with his flipper; you could only laugh.

***

You wandered cautiously through the laboratory and he stayed close; perhaps you should have checked that Walter was actually in today. You could already hear the stirring of whispers, and KiTT beeped in acknowledgement. You glanced to him, “Tell them to shut the hell up then!” His beep was a little louder in annoyance, and you rolled your eyes, but he began flying ominously over the heads of the other scientists and chatter stopped, work resumed. You smiled to yourself; everyone was scared of KiTT because of what they knew Killian’s drones had been capable of. KiTT was harmless, and had no weaponry, but they didn’t need to know that. You quite enjoyed how scared they got sometimes. Served them right for the majority of it. You were a little overcome with joy to see that Walter was indeed in his lab, and even more happy to see that Lance was nowhere to be found. You gave him a wave as you knocked on his door and received a big smile back. “Y/N! I didn’t know you were coming in today!” “Unplanned, I do confess. But it’s good to see you Walter!” “Well, it’s lovely to see you too! You working?” “Actually I came to ask a favour…” “Oh!” He straightened in his chair as he swung it towards you, large blue eyes curious, “What is it?” “Your bio-molecular technology?” “Yes.” It was at this point he noticed the penguin, and you could see the million questions racing in his mind, so you opted to continue quick before he got a chance to ask them. “Is that just for Lance? Would it work on anyone? You must have the formula, right? Is there any chance I can take a look? Both for the transformation process and the antidote to it. I mean you guys are using it all the time.” “Uuuhhhh…” Now you’d given Walter a million questions, and his eyes kept flicking downwards to your companion. “Well, I…Yes, I guess I could…. show you how to… Do you want to do this with a penguin?” “Ignore the penguin.”

Walter tried to keep his eyes on you, especially as the look you were giving him was serious, but eventually they trailed back to the bird at your feet. He studied it for a while and ignored you trying to protest him disregarding what you’d said. He leant forward on his chair, “Killian?” Instead of acting as he was supposed to, your partner became immediately angry. “Not a WORD to Sterling, or I SWEAR-!!” Instead, Walter lit up with a gasp, “You perfected your own formula!?! That’s so amazing—!! Colour me impressed-! Well, I could make what I made for him, so you can turn pretty much at will-!! Well-” He turned to you with a smile, “with some assistance of course-!” “A secret agent penguin!” The idea was funny to you, but at the same time you couldn’t help but love it. Killian immediately protested, “NO-! THATS STUPID, WE ARE NOT—!” You nudged him with your foot to shut him up, before continuing a sensible track of conversation, “First off, I suppose we should get the formula done. Then we can think about what we want to do with it afterward.” “All you need is the antidote right? I can get right on that… but, Killian, I’m going to need your help with what you did…” Walter spun back to the computer and began typing away, “Pull up a seat you two!” You dragged one across, and Killian scrambled up onto your lap; “I don’t have my formula, but KiTT could probably download it. He has a satellite uplink to the lab back home.” Walter nodded, “That’ll do, I’ll have to make sure the antidote coincides… I can’t promise this will be short though, you might be stuck like that for a few more hours.” “Hours!?” Killian sounded exasperated but turned to your assistance drone: “KiTT, see if you can link back to the lab and access file F-BMP5. Then send it across to Walter.” KiTT, glad of something to do, bleeped happily and set to work. “Sorry buddy.” Walter replied softly, “A penguin though, I’m impressed.” “Not entirely easy to find birds where we live.” This caused you to chime in, “Genuinely there are penguins up there?” “If you know where to look.” “Huh!” You smiled gently, “You’ll have to show me!”

Walter worked as quickly and carefully as possible, and as you suspected people were fascinated. Everyone who passed couldn’t resist knocking on the door and asking what a penguin was doing here. Some even having the nerve to ask, ‘Is that penguin talking?’ By the time the last one had enquired you were up by the door: “NO!” and slamming it back in their face. Walter took precautions to lock you all in here and frost the glass for privacy after that.

Killian remained in your lap, and you held him close, stroking your fingers through his feathers again, this time he didn’t seem to mind too much, and at times when you paused, he would nuzzle against your hands to get you to continue. Though you knew he would never admit it. As he continued working on the antidote, Walter again brought up the possibility of using this ultimate spy tech regularly. Killian didn’t seem keen, but you wondered if you could get him to warm to the idea… “I’m sure that we could find a little suit jacket for you in that form.” He glared back at you, “You’re enjoying this a little too much, aren’t you?” “A little, yeah!” You grinned in admittance, making him turn to Walter. “It’s a hard no from me.” “Aw, Killian, c’mon!” That only made Walter chuckle, “Let him get used to it Y/N, he’ll like it eventually, Lance did.” “You mean just leave him like this for a while?” Walter grinned, “Something like that!” Killian spluttered, stamping his foot against your leg; “YOU TWO PUT ME BACK RIGHT NOW!”

When Walter had the serum made up, he walked you both into another lab to perform the procedure. Killian let you carry him. “You can drink it if you want, but I’d like to run a few tests.” “Meaning what?” “I mean, if I put you under anaesthetic… I can check a few things.” “Is that usual?” “No but it’s your first time, and Lance’s wasn’t a pleasant experience I just want to make sure you’re okay, or Y/N will kill me.” Killian narrowed his eyes at both of you, standing there trying to look so innocent. “Fine. If I wake up and I’m not human again, I’m going to kill both of you.” Walter winced, however you only smirked; “Noted!”

***

When Killian awoke again, he was indeed human. But he was not in a lab in Washington D.C. instead he was in bed, back in the mountain top hideout. Had he really been out that long? Or was whatever drug used in the anaesthetic or antidote so strong he simply couldn’t remember anything else. He stretched, glad his head wasn’t spinning, and walked into the bathroom. Skimming his fingers up the side of his neck he pressed down on the projection switch. Killian checked this every morning as routine; that the system worked, that there were no problems with the metal, or his eye. This morning, nothing worked. He straightened up with a frown and tried again. Nothing. Killian rushed through the house; “Y/N! Y/N!” He sounded panicked, making you shake your head and call him through. “In the main room, babe.” He ran the rest of the way, “Y/N, my projection isn’t working!” You turned to him slowly, crooked, amused smile on your face; as if you were trying to hold back a laugh. “Are you sure? Why don’t you check again?” This time Killian was more careful, fingers sliding up his neck tentatively. He paused, realising that he couldn’t even feel the switch. It no longer existed. His eyes flew wide, voice quiet; “You- you- fixed it!” You grinned, smile slowly spreading across your face as you nodded, “Yes! So now you have a complete face!” He sprinted the rest of the way to you, grabbing you into a hug. You couldn’t help laughing, throwing your arms around him too as Killian buried his face in his shoulder, “You can cry now too! But please don’t! I would feel terrible!” “How-!?” “Turns out I can pick up a thing or two… Called in a few favours...” He pulled back and you framed his face with your hands, stroking your thumbs over his cheeks, “The Agency have better tech, but I never admitted that out loud. I’ve been wanting to do it for a little while but… Walter finally gave me the opportunity.” “...Thank you.” “Oh, don’t you start.” You indicated to yourself, “I have far more to thank you for.” You gestured to his robotic arm, “I thought… maybe I’d leave that. That was a feat of engineering y’know?” He laughed, “One thing at a time, huh?” “Yes!” You agreed with a nod.

Killian tugged away from you for a moment, and studied your clothes. He was in luck; they were the ones you had been wearing at the labs. Although, as he glanced to the colour of the sky perhaps it wasn’t the morning after all, perhaps it was later in the same day. It was snowing, though, so that weather prediction had been correct. Killian couldn’t be sure when it was exactly, but it was imperative you were wearing these clothes. “I just need to do something.” You were confused as he got closer to you. “What?” “Don’t get too excited.” He ran his hand down your body to the pocket of your jeans. “I mean, I can’t help get excited, you’re here and touching me.” “Stop it.” Although Killian smirked, slipping his hand into your pocket. You stilled, and your features pulled into a highly suggestive look as your eyes scanned his; “I mean, I have questions, Agent McFord.” He rolled his eyes at you as he fished a small disk drive out of your pocket. “…Wait!” You gasped, moment broken, “What the hell is that!? Where did you get that!?” You patted yourself down suddenly, “Killian-!” He closed his hand around it and beckoned you with him, turning to walk back to the labs, you hurried after him, “No one was paying much attention to the Penguin, were they!” “Wait! Seriously! What is that?” “Shush, you’ll see.” He plugged it into his computer and you waited patiently for it to boot up before you found yourself gasping again; “Is that… The Agency’s entire weapons tech!?” “Yup.” You whipped around to him, hands on his desk, “ARE YOU DOUBLE CROSSING THE AGENCY!” “Kinda.” His face was fairly nonchalant as his eyes held yours again. “Killian!” You couldn’t believe this was happening. After all that talk, and trying to persuade you into this. “After what they did...” He transposed the files, “are you really THAT surprised?” You folded your arms, hating that he had a point, “...Well no. But I... thought you might be a little more discreet.” “What they don’t know won’t hurt them - besides a few months ago you were telling me I was double crossing all the people I worked with, so is it double crossing a double cross or is it simply that I’m an effective double agent?” “... That’s a lot of doubles.” “Mm.” “I figure that’s not what the programme and agreement of your release was for. K, if they find out…” He tipped his head, eyes very nearly pleading with you. “I’m not covering for you!” “Accomplice?” “Not in your wildest dreams!” You were grinning - but maybe grimacing, because you thought perhaps you’d get caught up in this too, being part of his damn agreement - and Killian already knew he’d got away with it. You were going to be there for him no matter what he did and no matter what happened, you’d made that promise too long ago and you’d never break it. Not after what you’d been through together. You folded your arms again, “I won’t rat on one condition.” His eyes rolled, “What could that be?” “If you’ll agree to use Walter’s biomolecular tech, penguin yourself on missions in the same way Lance does his pigeon transformation.” Killian scoffed, “How?!” You were sure he wished he didn’t ask as you produced a collection of vials from a table across the lab. Killian’s face fell slightly. “You did not.” “Oh, we did!” “That’s most certainly punishment.” You indicated to the screen, “Someone brought this upon himself.”

There was silence, before he began chuckling, pulling you into his arms gently - and you were only too happy to accept his hug and a kiss to your forehead. “Geez. The things I do for you!” You moved to catch his lips delicately in ‘thanks’. Oh yeah, like you couldn’t say the same thing!

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Thank you for reading the penultimate fic of the year! 😁

#Killian #Killian sid #Tristan McFord #Spies in Disguise #Killian x Reader #Tristan McFord x Reader #Agent McFord #Killian/Ashlinn #Ashlinn #Kitt the Drone #KiTT #205 #This boy went in a box in Jan/Feb popped up in April and now he's back for December!#Alternatively: I Wish I Was James Bond #Which is the song I would have used for the 007 pieces because this is technically 2 fics in one #I'm rambling again but whatever...#Linzi Writes #Smol Bean Drabbles #I have missed writing for these two SO much!!#But then I look in the SID tag and I'm like /oh yeah. this is why.../#I still don't understand this Keller Killian thing but I crack up every time I see it because Ben also played Keller in Captain Marvel...#...so that's hilarious!!#And now I can only think of them being somehow related and thats even funnier #New Canon: Director Keller becomes Killian #burn everything you love / then burn the ashes #I've been listening to this song on repeat all day and its very Krennic but it's very good for Killian too!

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qqueenofhades · 4 years ago

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If/when they make a Joe/Nicky prequel movie, what are some of the Dos and Don’ts for them, with regards to historical accuracy. Like, what do you think they should include, and what do you think they should avoid?

Oof. This is a GREAT question, and also designed to give me a chance to ramble on in a deeply, deeply self-indulgent fashion. That is now what will proceed to happen. Consider yourself warned. So if they were miraculously to be like “well that qqueenofhades person on tumblr seems like she knows what she’s talking about, let’s hire her to consult on this production!”, here are some of the things I would tell them.

First off, a question I have in fact asked my students when teaching the crusades in class is whether you could actually show the sack of Jerusalem on screen. Like... if you’re making a film about the First Crusade, what kind of choices are you going to make? What narrative viewpoint are you going to uphold throughout the story? Are you actually going to show a slaughter of Muslim and Jewish inhabitants that some chroniclers described as causing enough blood to reach up to the knees of horses? (Whether it actually did this is beside the point; the point is that the sack went far beyond the accepted conventions of warfare and struck everybody involved in it as particularly horrific.) Because when you’re making a film about the crusades, you are also making it by nature for a modern audience that has particular understandings of Christian/Muslim conflict, religious warfare and/or tolerance, the War on Terror, the modern clash over ISIS, Trump’s Muslim ban, and so forth. The list goes on and on. So you’re never making a straight, unbiased historical adaptation, even if you’re going off the text of primary sources. You’re still constructing it and presenting it in a deliberate and curated fashion, and you can bet that whichever way you come down, your audience will pick up on that.

Let’s take the most recent example of a high-profile crusades film: Kingdom of Heaven from 2005. I’ve written a book chapter on how the narrative choices of KoH, aside from its extensive fictionalization of its subject matter to start with, make it crystal clear that it is a film made by a well-meaning Western liberal filmmaker (Ridley Scott) four years after 9/11 and two years after the invasion of Iraq, when the sympathy from 9/11 was wearing off and everyone saw America/Great Britain and the Bush/Blair coalition overreaching itself in yet another arrogant imperial adventure into the Middle East. Depending on how old you are, you may or may not remember the fact that Bush explicitly called the War on Terror a “crusade” at the start, and then was quickly forced to walk it back once it alarmed his European allies (yes, back then, as bad as America was, it still did have those) with its intellectual baggage. They KNEW exactly what images and tropes they were invoking. It is also partly why medieval crusade studies EXPLODED in popularity after 9/11. Everyone recognized that these two things had something to do with each other, or they made the connection somehow. So anyone watching KoH in 2005 wasn’t really watching a crusades film (it is set in the late 1180s and dramatizes the surrender of Jerusalem to Saladin) so much as a fictional film about the crusades made for an audience explicitly IN 2005. I have TONS to say on this subject (indeed, if you want a copy of my book chapter, DM me and I’ll be happy to send it.)

Ridley Scott basically sets it up as the Christian and Muslim secular leaders themselves aren’t evil, it’s all the religious fanatics (who are all made Templars, including Guy de Lusignan, going back to the “evil Templar” trope started by Sir Walter Scott and which we are all so very familiar with from Dan Brown and company). Orlando Bloom’s character shares a name (Balian de Ibelin) but very little else with the eponymous real-life crusader baron. One thing Scott did do very well was casting an actual and well-respected Syrian actor (Ghassan Massoud) to play Saladin and depicting him in essential fidelity to the historical figure’s reputed traits of justice, fairness, and mercy (there’s some article by a journalist who watched the film in Beirut with a Muslim audience and they LOVED the KoH Saladin). I do give him props for this, rather than making the Evil Muslim into the stock antagonist. However, Orlando Bloom’s Balian is redeemed from the religious extremist violence of the Templars (shorthand for all genuinely religious crusaders) by essentially being an atheistic/agnostic secular humanist who wants everyone to get along. As I said, this is a film about the invasion of Afghanistan and Iraq made three years after 9/11 more than anything else, and you can really see that.

That said, enough about KoH, back to this presumable Joe/Nicky backstory. You would obviously run into the fact that it’s SUPER difficult to make a film about the crusades without offending SOMEBODY. The urge to paint in broad strokes and make it all about the evil Westerners invading is one route, but it would weaken the moral complexity of the story and would probably make it come off as pandering to guilty white liberal consciences. Are we gonna touch on the many decades of proto-crusading ventures in Iberia, Sicily, North Africa, and other places, and how the eleventh century, especially under Pope Gregory VII, made it even thinkable for a Christian to be a holy warrior in the first place? (It was NOT normal beforehand.) How are we going to avoid the “lololol all religion sucks and makes people do crazy things” axe to grind favoured by So Very Smart (tm) internet atheists? Yes, we have to demonstrate the ultimate horror of the crusade and the flawed premises it was based on, but we can’t do that by just showing the dirty, religiously zealot medieval people doing that because they don’t know any better and are being cynically manipulated in God’s Name. In other words (and the original TOG film did this very well) we can’t position ourselves to laugh at or mock the crusader characters or feel confident in looking down on them for being Dumb Zealots. They have to be relatable enough that we realize we could BE (and in fact already ARE) them, and THEN you slide into the horror and what compels them to do those kinds of things, and THAT’S when it hits. Because take a look at the news. This is happening around us right now.

Obviously, as I was doing in my First Crusade chapter in DVLA, a lot of this also has to spend time centering the Muslim point of view, the way they reacted to the crusade, the ways in which Yusuf as an Isma’ili Shia Muslim (Kaysani is the name of a branch of Isma’ili Shi’ites, he has a definite historical context and family lineage, and hence is almost surely, as I wrote him, a Fatimid from Egypt) is likewise not just A Stock Muslim. In this case, obviously: Get actual Muslims on the set to advise about the details. Don’t make stupid and/or obvious mistakes. Don’t necessarily make the Muslims less faithful or less virtuous than the Christians (even if this is supposed to praise them as being “less fanatic” than those bad religious Catholics). Don’t tokenize or trivialize their reaction to something as horrific as the sack of Jerusalem, and don’t just use dead brown bodies as graphic visual porn for cheap emotional points. Likewise, it goes without saying, and I don’t think they would anyway, but OH MY GOD DON’T MAKE THIS INTO GAME OF THRONES GRIMDARK!!!! OH MY GOD!!! THERE IS BEAUTY AND THERE IS LIGHT AND THERE IS POETRY AND THAT’S WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH WHEN IT’S DESTROYED! AND THE CHOICES THAT PEOPLE MAKE TO DESTROY THOSE THINGS HAVE TO BE TERRIFYINGLY PLAUSIBLE AND FAMILIAR, BECAUSE OH MY GOD!!

Next, re: Nicolo. Evidently he is a priest or a former priest or something of the sort in the graphic novel, which becomes a bit of a problem if we want him to actually FIGHT in the crusades for important and/or shallow and/or OTP purposes. (I don’t know if they address this somehow or Greg Rucka is not a medieval historian or whatever, but never mind.) It was a Major Thing that priests could not carry weapons, at least and especially bladed weapons. (In the Bayeux Tapestry, we have Odo, the bishop of Bayeux, fighting at the battle of Hastings with a truncheon because he’s a clergyman and can’t have a sword). They were super not supposed to shed blood, and a broadsword (such as the type that Nicky has and carries and is clearly very familiar with) is a knight’s weapon, not a clergyman’s. The thing about priests was that they were not supposed to get their hands dirty with physical warfare; they could (and often did) accompany crusade armies, bishops were secular overlords and important landholders, monks and hermits and other religious preachers were obviously part of a religious expedition, and yes, occasionally some priests would break the rules and fight in battle. But this was an exception FAR more than the rule. So if we’re going by accuracy, we have Nicky as a priest who doesn’t actively fight and doesn’t have a sword, we have him as a rule-breaking priest with a sword (which would have to be addressed, and the Templars, who were basically armed monks, weren’t founded until 1119 so he can’t be one of those yet if this is still 1099) or we just skip the priest part and have him as a crusader with a sword like any other soldier. If he was in fact a priest, he also wouldn’t be up to the same standard of sending into battle. Boys, especially younger sons of the nobility, often entered the church at relatively early ages (12 or 13), where it was treated as a career, and hence they stopped training in arms. So if Nicky is actually out there fighting and/or getting killed by Yusuf several times for Important Purposes, he’s... almost surely not a priest.

Iirc, they’ve already changed a few things from the graphic novel (I haven’t read it, but this is what I’ve heard) so they can also tweak things to make a new backstory or a hybrid-new backstory in film-verse. So once we’ve done all the above, we still have to decide how to handle the actual sack of Jerusalem and massacre of its inhabitants, the balance between violence comparable to the original TOG film and stopping short of being exploitative (which I think they would do well), and the aftermath of that and the founding of the new Latin Christian kingdom. It would have to, as again the original film does very well, avoid prioritizing the usual players and viewpoints in these events, and dig into presenting the experiences of the marginalized and way in which ordinary people are brought to the point of doing these things. It doesn’t (and frankly shouldn’t) preach at us that U.S. Invasions Of The Middle East Are Bad (especially since obviously none of the characters/people/places/events here are American at all). And as I said already but bears repeating: my god, don’t even THINK about making it GOT and marketing it as Gritty Dramatic Medieval History, You Know It’s Real Because They’re Dirty, Violent, and Bigoted!

Also, a couple tags I saw pop up were things like “Period-Typical Racism” and “Period-Typical Homophobia” and mmm okay obviously yes there are these elements, but what exactly is “period typical?” Does it mean “using these terms just because you figure everyone was less tolerant back then?” We know that I, with my endless pages of meta on medieval queer history, would definitely side-eye any attempts to paint these things as Worse Than Us, and the setting alone would convey a sense of the conflict without having to add on gratuitous microaggressions. I basically think the film needs to be made exactly like the original: centering the gay/queer perspectives of marginalized people and people of color, resisting the urge for crass jokes at the expense of the identity of its characters, and approaching it with an awareness of the deep complexity and personal meaning of these things to people in terms of the historical moment we’re in, while not making a film that ONLY prizes our response and our current crises. Because if we’re thinking about these historical genealogies, the least we can do (although we so often aren’t) is to be honest.

Thanks! I LOVED this question.

#history #medieval history #kingdom of heaven #joe x nicky #long post #persephone-rose-r #ask #the old guard meta

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feather-dancer · 4 years ago

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Tales of Arcadia Fanfic Recommendations - Part 4

Are you thinking perhaps, wow I never expected a fourth fanfic recc list so soon? Because if you do I feel exactly the same way! I thought I’d have some more of my own writing out by the time it happened and yet even before Wizards I was building up a good list of reading then the release just set off a flood of ‘em I’ve been duly binging and hoarding. Because of how long this post is getting I’m at the point of wanting it out my drafts and in the wilds before it begins to grow legs.

As when I posted the third list, I suspect within 48 hours I’ll find a new fic and I’ll need to start drafting a fifth one thus the cycle continues...

You can find Part 1 of my fanfic recommendations here!

And Part 2 here!

Part 3 is here!

Plus one shameless plug for my own current fics because I can.

General Trollhunters

Hold My Hand in The Dark - Jim may have escaped the Darklands but even now it still has it’s claws in him.

To Say Nothing of the Dog - A Steli fic that’s very cute. Sometimes trolls aren’t the strangest thing you find out in the woods of Arcadia.

say that you'll stay awake for me - Another Steli fic where they’re both completely useless but it’s full of fluff anyway.

Candy canes and Sugar plums - Two very sweet Christmas themed one shots. In one Not!Enrique has to get ready for a photography session and another Jim as a half-troll gets mistaken for Krampus by a pair of kids.

Despondent Contemplations - Back in the old library that was once their home in Heartstone Trollmarket, Blinky and AARRRGGHH reminisce about old times. Contains minor spoilers for Wizards but not enough to remove from this section.

The Indecency of Courage - The thoughts of Kanjigar during his final battle.

Brotherhood - It’s hard to love a sibling who betrayed then later attempted to kill you and in return you permanently blinded but with some relationships it’s worth seeing if it’s still possible to mend.

In Our Times To Come - Jilaire, trauma comes in many shapes and forms but as long as you have the right people around you perhaps you can work your way through them together.

General Wizards - Skip this section if you wish to avoid spoilers

The City Never Sleeps - Douxie, Archie and Nari are now on the run trying desperately to keep off the radar in their new home of New York City but the flights of fancy of the old traveling days meet a whole new reality where things are a lot more expensive. For his new family though, this wizard willingly burns himself out over and over to keep them safe.

Home Away From Home -The sequel oneshot to the above and the struggle continues. Nari's attempts to figure out her place after a month of adjustment while Douxie seems to have lost all concept of things called plates.

a rescue from the weight you've carried - The ending these kids DESERVE.

Eyes Like Hope, a Smile Like Mercy, a Voice Like Justice - Without even realising it, Jim offered so much to the trolls of the past just by the virtue of being Jim.

Another Mistake - It’s not easy to revisit your past but in Douxie’s case he is offered a unique chance to see his younger self and the humbler roots he once came from.

Strings - Zouxie and oh GOD is this adorable and fluffy and I love it very much.

Waiting for Dawn - It’s over isn’t it? But Jim’s journey isn’t, not quite yet. His next task involves stumbling back home with the help of his friends and family and figure out the immediately of the after.

Center Stage - Douxie’s relationship with Merlin might have been incredibly complicated but it does not make the grief any easier to bear.

i've got to find my soul all before i sleep - Jim has been given a second chance at life and as a human at that but the niggling feeling of his old (New?) skin not quite fitting right anymore.

Stricklake

A Little Bit Pear-Shaped - Even when you think you haven’t taken your eye off the ball you find out maybe you might have and, well, then the title happens.

it's a lovely day in stricklake month - And Dreamcrow is once more coming up with the goods for us all to enjoy. The 6th chapter is nsfw as forewarning.

Dropout - Jim was human, once, then in the course of mere days he was transformed into a half-troll, fought to save the world and then forced to leave home and family behind as a reward for surviving. It’s no wonder that when given the chance to finally breathe again Barbara struggles with what has and what will be.

K.O. - The end result of Strickler’s terrible not so fun day results in a hospital visit but at least the upside involves the fact Barbara is there.

Alternate Universe

The Unwelcome Guest Do you remember Sam from the wonderful Whispers Within aka the Gay Uhl with a monster boyfriend fic? Well here he is a bit earlier than that still causing chaos but this time via trying to be ever so helpful towards a certain avocado coloured changeling who would sincerely like this to stop happening. Please.

left-hand florilegium - Even the great Walter (Stricklander) Strickler was a youngling, once, but no road a changeling may travel was designed to be anything other than a constant test to prove your worthiness in survival to gain a place in a brand new world.

Both Sides of the Sky - Jilaire with a historical regency twist and an arranged marriage that forces Jim into Claire’s path. On the surface he appears extremely nervous of something (Or more specifically someone) and she’s had quite enough of suitors making for a poor match. However, a simple act of kindness can bring with it an awful lot of shadows you might well have better off staying oblivious to.

A Foundation of Fluff - I never knew a ship of Barbara, Strickler and Draal could be so adorable and?? Yet?? The spite ship train is glorious. A foundation of fluff is a very apt description.

Broken Mirror - You might think this is another Unbecoming take but you’ll be surprised. During an argument with Merlin over his general treatment of others after the great move to New Jersey, Jim is flung elsewhere to wake up on the fabled day he found the amulet and very much human again. Not wanting to mess things up this time he goes to rescue Kanjigar before he is felled but nothing goes as expected.

Bitter Sixteen - The stalkling was set on Jim and in a lightning storm he was carried away but what if Toby never got that call to come to his rescue?

The World Ended Yesterday - The events of Unbecoming seem so long ago now yet here something went very wrong during the attempt to return to the future causing Jim to be lost to not only time but the very world he came from. Seemingly within another reset, he is not going to bury his head in the sand but equally the half-troll is determined to spare this world’s self future tragedy.

What the Night Brings - There are trolls in Arcadia, hidden underground and planning payback for having the surface lands stolen from them centuries ago. While there is contention in the ranks nobody dares say no to Gunmar the Skullcrusher and there is no Trollhunter to protect the dissents. Jim unwittingly witnesses what he should not and now carries the scars and no longer does he remain a human when the dusk comes, instead he is now some form of were-troll. What’s worse, he’s having to face this whole confusing mess alone.

Claire The Courageous - In a different universe Claire became the Trollhunter instead of Jim and Steve of all people ends up being the one dragged into the world of trolls with her. That however does not mean that Jim isn’t still involved in her journey in some way...

#Trollhunters #Tales of Arcadia #Wizards #ToAWizards

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longitudinalwaveme · 4 years ago

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More Nitpicking!

Article #3:

1. I’m pretty sure Heat Wave is more powerful than Captain Boomerang. Though I do think comparing him to Green Arrow and Hawkeye is appropriate, as it conveys the sheer level of skill that Capt. Boomerang has.

2. Killer Frost isn’t a Flash villain in the comics.

3. In the comics, the Thinker does not use a thinking chair like he does in the CW show; he uses a thinking cap instead. That being said, he is quite powerful, so I can’t argue with his placement on this list.

4. ABRA KADABRA SHOULD NOT BE #10 ON A LIST OF MOST POWERFUL VILLAINS!

5. “Abra Kadabra is a minor villain in DC Comics that gained a little more popularity when The Flash on The CW made him a character on the show.” I wouldn’t really call Kadabra a minor villain.

6. Cicada is not more powerful than Abra Kadabra (or the Thinker, but mainly Abra Kadabra).

7. Walter West wasn’t really a villain per se, so he shouldn’t really be on the list.

8. Captain Cold is not more powerful than Abra Kadabra, and he probably isn’t more powerful than the Thinker, either.

9. Zoom should be much higher than #6 on the list.

10. Grodd, Mirror Master, and Savitar being in spots #5, #4, and #3, respectively, is appropriate...but Zoom should be ranked higher than they are. And so should Abra Kadabra.

11. I don’t think Godspeed is more powerful than Savitar, and I’m sure he’s less powerful than Zoom. And Abra Kadabra.

12. Likewise, Eobard is also less powerful than Zoom.

I don’t know what Kadabra’s doing wrong, but man, he gets no respect. And neither does Zoom, apparently.

Article #4:

1. This article knows its stuff about Savitar...though it is a bit weird that he’s ranked so low on a list of the most feared Flash villains; I’d think he’d be a bit higher.

2. It’s a bit weird to have Killer Frost on the list of the most feared Flash villains (though the article does get points for acknowledging that she’s usually a Firestorm villain in the comics.)

3. I’m actually not sure whether Heat Wave is more or less scary than Weather Wizard. On the one hand, a villain who can control the weather is pretty scary as a concept...but on the other hand, Mark has a lot more control over himself than Heat Wave does...and Heat Wave’s pyromania means that he might hurt you without even wanting to. That’s pretty scary in its own right, so I can’t begrudge him being higher on the list than Mardon.

4. Everyone run from the terror that is...a guy who throws curvy sticks! (I know that some of them explode and such, but is Captain Boomerang really among the top ten most frightening Flash villains?)

5. Yay, Zoom! (I’d actually think he’d be a bit higher than number 4, but hey, at least that’s somewhat more subjective than power level.)

6. “Whereas most other Flash enemies cast aside the well-being of others, Captain Cold lives by a code of honor. In it lies the following codes: no senseless violence, no use of drugs, and no killing women or children.” And this makes him more frightening than Grodd or Zoom or Savitar because? How does him NOT wanting to hurt people for no good reason make him scarier?

7. I can’t really argue with Eobard being #1 on the list. Dude is a creepy stalker. I’d be scared of him.

8. This was actually a pretty good list overall; the person clearly knew the characters.

Article #5:

5 Flash Villains The CW Watered Down (& 5 They Powered Up)

1. “Both his (Captain Boomerang’s) personality and, ultimately, the size of the threat have all been watered down!” Agreed. CW Captain Boomerang was a letdown, in more ways than one.

2. The degree to which CW Thinker is more powerful than comic book Thinker (specifically, comic book Thinker during Geoff Johns’ run) is debatable, but I think that it’s fair to say that the show powered him up in general.

3. Is the Bug-Eyed Bandit really a proper Flash villain?

4. “Yet, the version (of Sam Scudder) we find in the Arrowverse isn't nearly as impressive as the crook we've seen in the pages of the comics. His design is far less interesting to start with, but his abilities are certainly watered down. He is a metahuman, but he can really only travel through mirrors and use them for illusions. The rest of his abilities are nowhere to be seen!” Very much agreed!

5. “Doctor Alchemy is a pretty forgettable villain in the comics.” Albert and Alvin are many things, but “forgettable” is not one of them. I’d also argue that the show actually depowered Dr. Alchemy if anything. CW Alchemy doesn’t show nearly the level of power over the elements that his comic book counterpart had.

7. “Rainbow Raider is an absolute blast in the comics. The Flash issue 286 introduced us to a flamboyant, colorblind artist with a wacky costume and fantastical powers. He can ride a rainbow with great agility and can actually use these beams of light as weapons! He can also manipulate a person's emotions, using each color of the rainbow to dictate the type of feeling.This is the only aspect of the character that transferred over to the live-action debut of Rainbow Raider. He's drab and boring and doesn't quite have the same flare. While his powers are useful in order to manipulate the team at Star Labs, he's a pale imitation of what we see in the comics. Worst of all he's only included in two episodes, making him a short-lived enemy.”

YAY!!! RESPECT FOR ROY!!!!

Article #6:

The Flash’s Rogues: 10 Supervillains Ranked From Least To Most Powerful

1. “Essentially The Flash’s version of The Joker, James Jesse was the son of a pair of circus performers. He never truly received the love and attention of his parents, so Jesse pulls trick after trick in a pathetic attempt to make them proud.” :*( I was not expecting this random article to make me have feels.

2. I agree that, when he had the White Lantern boomerang construct power, Digger was probably more powerful than James. Otherwise, I’d have to argue with him being described as more powerful.

3. “She (Golden Glider) was on her way to becoming an Olympic skater but eventually joined her brother in a more exciting life of crime.” Not exactly what happened. She primarily became a supervillain to avenge Roscoe’s death.

4. I don’t think Heat Wave’s more powerful than Hartley, in general.

5. “Roscoe Dillon is seen as one of The Flash’s most ridiculous villains, but he can do much more than just spin fast. During the Identity Crisis tie-ins and Rogue War, we see the villain's true power levels. Top has the ability to return from the dead, inhabit people’s bodies, and even flip the psyche of anyone he feels like.Every Rogue that gave up crime during Rogue War was actually orchestrated by Top. In flashbacks, we also see Top easily speeding alongside Barry Allen after he was lobotomized into becoming a hero. Read up on him, you won’t be disappointed.”

Roscoe is #2 on this list! I’m not sure if he’s actually more powerful than, say, the Mirror Masters or Weather Wizard, but hey, at least he’s getting the credit he deserves.

6. Yay! Abra Kadabra is #1 and he’s actually the most powerful character on the list!

#flash rogues #dc comics

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twistedtummies2 · 8 months ago

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Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 27

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ll be counting my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “The world will look up and shout, ‘Save us!’ And I’ll whisper, ‘No.’”

Number 27 is…Rorschach, from Watchmen.

A lot of you are probably surprised to see a character as iconic as Rorschach – arguably the most famous character from one of the greatest graphic novels of all time, “The Watchmen” – so low in the ranks. Well, trust me, as iconic as Rorschach is, there’s a good reason I place him where I do, but we’ll get to that in a bit. For now, let’s focus on the character himself.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock nowhere near a book-and/or-magazine-vendor since the mid-80s, then the chances are good you’ve at least heard of “The Watchmen.” This was the arguable masterpiece of English comic book writer Alan Moore. This man is something of a strange legend in the world of comics, responsible for such titles as “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen,” “V for Vendetta,” and “From Hell,” as well as being the author of “Batman: The Killing Joke.” However, many agree that when you hear his name, “Watchmen” is the first of his works that seems to come to mind. This graphic novel was a hyper-dark deconstruction of the superhero genre as a whole, and set the groundwork for a lot of comic book stories that would come after it. The idea of “superhero deconstruction” has sort of become a sub-genre within itself, to be honest, and while parody and satire of the genre did exist long before Moore whipped up this piece, “Watchmen” is almost universally agreed to be the place where the idea of taking superhero fiction and giving it a psychological and sociological bend, and showing that superpowered beings in the world aren’t necessarily the end of all problems, became REALLY popular.

The main protagonist of “Watchmen” (at least ostensibly) is Rorschach. Most of the characters in Moore’s book were based on pre-existing comic book characters, sort of blending original elements with older concepts to create recognizable figures and play off of established tropes. Rorschach is sort of a conglomeration of Batman, the Shadow, the Question, and a much lesser-known character called Mr. A. The story of the graphic novel focuses on Rorschach – real name Walter Kovacs – trying to solve the murder of his former superhero teammate, the Comedian. The adventure grows increasingly more bizarre (and thoroughly messed-up on MANY levels) as Rorschach uncovers a vast conspiracy and plots to commit mass slaughter, leading to many of the former Watchmen banding together again to try and figure out how to stop the chaos. Without going into too much detail, for those who don’t know already…yeah, it doesn’t exactly go how Rorschach – or, indeed, anybody – really planned. Rorschach is a fine sleuth, and the visual design of him – a noir-style detective’s getup combined with a bizarre, shifting inkblot mask – is certainly one of the most striking in all of comics, many would argue. However, what truly stands out about Rorschach is his philosophical viewpoint: Moore created Rorschach as a sort of satire on the strict objectivist policies many of the characters I mentioned earlier notoriously had. These were characters who seemed to see the world in a strictly black-and-white perspective, where good is good, bad is bad, and there’s basically no gray moral ground in-between. He does what he feels is right based on this ideal, but the problem is…that’s a REALLY hard ideal to put into practice in the real world without seeming like a complete idiot or semi-psychopathic. Rorschach’s steadfast nature, his determination to stick to his ideology, is both his greatest asset and his greatest failing: it’s an asset because it’s what allows him to get through as far as he does and keep focused on the case at hand. But it’s his greatest failing because his inability to cope with the gray area, and reason out anything beyond his basic, fundamental viewpoint, leads to a lot of personal problems, and ultimately to his own downfall. This is actually why Rorschach ranks as low as he does. To put things in the simplest terms possible: while I love the deconstruction and homages present in Watchmen, I feel like I prefer other takes on these concepts more, and I also prefer some of the characters that inspired Rorschach over the Watchmen's chief sleuth himself. Still, he's more than worthy of placement in the Top 31: when I think of comic book detectives, he's one of the first I imagine.

Tomorrow, the countdown continues with Number 26!

CLUE: “Truth brings closure.”

#list #countdown #best #favorites #top 31 fictional detectives #gathering of the greatest gumshoes #number 27 #rorschach #watchmen #dc #comics #superheroes #mystery #alan moore

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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 35-40

This is the one-part “Xanado”, and the five-part “Final Fantasy”.

So last time, we saw a Millennium team led by Rip Van Winkle take control of a British aircraft carrier, which forced Hellsing to send Alucard to deal with the situation. He accomplished his mission, but now he’s stuck on the boat by himself, because vampires can’t cross running water. I suppose Hellsing would have arranged a second aircraft to pick him up, but they’ve got bigger problems on their hands. Just as Alucard finishes off Winkle, reports come in of communication breakdowns all over Great Britain. Military, intelligence, police, all out of reach. Integra recognizes this as Millennium’s next move. By taking out the communications networks, they ensure a clear shot for their invasion force to move in. But how did they pull this off?

Simple, they did it the same way they arranged all those vampire attacks during the summer, and the Valentine assault on Hellsing Manor, and the Brazillian Police raid on Alucard’s hotel suite, and Lt. Winkle’s takeover of the H.M.S Eagle. They convinced a bunch of Brits to betray their country in exchange for being turned into vampires. The only real surprise here is the sheer breadth of treachery this time around, as Millennium must have created dozens of sleeper agents throughout the country, each tasked with hijacking or sabotaging key defense systems. And Vice-Admiral Penwood’s command is no exception. Those a-holes who gave Integra a hard time earlier? Turns out they were in the tank for Millennium all along, and now that the invasion force has arrived, they’ve revealed their true colors. At first, they’re pretty thrilled to have captured Integra Hellsing herself, but she calmly informs them that they’re minor league vampires at best, and they’ve foolishly revealed themselves in the presence of expert vampire hunters.

And Walter calmly slices them all up with his magic wire powers. Cool.

But that’s not going to stop the one thousand vampire soldiers currently heading into British airspace. I think the most striking visual in this part of the story are the expressions of sheer excitement on these guys’ faces. They’re just so thrilled for what’s about to happen, and when you consider how long they’ve waited, it only makes sense. It’s almost infectious, until you recall just what it is they’ve come here to do.

Meanwhile, Alexander Anderson watches the Millennium blimps roll in. Oh, right, I forgot about him. Back in chapter 25 he was still in Brazil, trying to locate Millennium’s HQ, but all he found were human agents trying to stop him, which he found rather insulting. Then Maxwell contacted him to explain what he learned from the summit with Hellsing, and he ordered Maxwell to come to London in preparation for a great crusade. But unlike the Crusads of old, their enemy is not Allah, but Mars, since Millennium is so devoted to war. Anyway, Anderson’s here and ready to rock.

Meanwhile, the people of London finally spot these blimps rolling in, and it’s pretty horrifying stuff. We’ve already seen the carnage that can be wrought by a few vampires, and now it’s a thousand vampires, and they’re all Nazi soldiers to boot. The sense of dread here is just palpable.

Aboard the flagship (flagblimp?) the Major starts giving his men their orders, and they even have a stupid invasion handbook for the occasion. Warrant Officer Schrodinger lost his and has to share with the Captain. I suppose this is intended to alleviate the tension, except, no, it really doesn’t. These guys are all horrible monsters in every sense of the word, and they’re about to do awful, unspeakable things. Schrodinger’s comic relief moments only make it worse.

The Major gives an extra-long speech for the occasion, basically outlining all the buildings and people in London that he wants his men to destroy (tl;dr: “all of them”). He then assigns Lt. Zorin Blitz to take one of the blimps with a contingent of men and head for the Hellsing mansion on the outskirts of town. She figures that’ll be an easy gig, since Alucard is away, but the Major warns her not to underestimate Integra Hellsing or Seras Victoria. He doesn’t exactly explain his concerns about Seras, but the mere fact that she’s Alucard’s servant is probably reason enough to be mindful, and Integra is Alucard’s master, and she comes from a long line of vampire hunters, so the Major considers them both to be archenemies on the same level as Al himself, despite their inexperience.

So the Major explicitly orders Zorin to go to the mansion but not to attack. Her task is to observe an wait for the Major’s order. This will be important later.

Then the Major orders a bunch of V-1 and V-2 rockets launched at London. I mean, geez, were the hundreds of vampire soldiers not enough? Did he think he needed to soften the city up first?

Then the troops jump out of the blimp to begin their assault. They look like they’re parachuting down, but I don’t think any of them are wearing parachutes, since they shouldn’t need them. It’s almost pathetic the way they talk to each other with all of this professional military talk and congratulating each other on a successful landing. London is virtually defenseless and this is a slaughter, not a battle, but they’ve been psyched up for this for 55 years.

Back at Penwood’s base, Integra warns him to flee before the main invasion force arrives, but Penwood insists on remaining at his post. He confesses that he’s completely incompetent, and he only has this position because of his inherited title, but he refuses to abandon his duty, since that’s the only honorable thing he can do. Integra leaves him a gun with silver bullets and wishes him well as she heads for her own duty. Penwood orders his men to evacuate, but they refuse, since Penwood can’t actually operate any of the equipment here.

So now we get an extended sequence of Milennium marching through London, basically sacking the city and slaughtering anyone they meet. This is accompanied by the lyrics to “Akuma Stocking” which I think was used in the anime adaptation as well. There’s a lot of gory scenes here, but the three main visuals that stuck with me in the anime are these:

First, this motherfucker eating a baby.

Second, all the Londinian civilians they bite end up rising up and transforming into ghouls, who then join in the slaughter. It’s easy to forget about ghouls at this point, but Millennium never forgot. Their artificial vampires can’t turn virgins into new vampires, and I think that may be by design. They were counting on their victims rising up to compound the horror.

Third, just a lot of bayonet-usage going on here. You’d think they’d be content to bite and shoot people, but these guys seem to enjoy hoisting up their prey to show them off. It’s a horrific nightmare and there’s no end in sight.

Integra and Walter speed home as fast as they can, but they stop to take out a Millennium soldier in a shootout with London police. She can’t save the cops, but she does avenge them.

Back at the Naval base, Penwood sends out a final transmission as he expects the enemy to enter his post at any moment. His men are all dead, with the last one shooting himself to avoid becoming a ghoul. He tells anyone who can hear him to resist and do their duty. Then he recalls his first meeting with the young Sir Integra. Back then, he found it ridiculous that a 12 year old should be in charge of Hellsing, but she quickly puts him in his place, and established that she would be asking him for favors from then on.

But Penwood won’t be granting any favors to the Kraut bastards who storm his post. Instead he sets off the explosives they set up earlier and I guess they all die together. I wouldn’t have thought an explosion would kill these vampires, but they are a lot less formidable than Dandyman or the Valentines. Luke couldn’t regenerate his foot, for example.

When Integra shot that one vampire, she gave away her position, and now Millennium is on her trail. Just when it seems they have a clear shot at escape, someone blocks their path, and Walter tells Integra to take the wheel and find another route. He’s going to stay behind to fight this guy, but he doesn’t think he can hold him off for long.

Integra does as he asks, but orders him to return alive “at all costs.” Hmm.

Walter uses his wire power, but it turns out this is the Captain, and he’s apparently powerful enough to foil his attack. Walter recognizes him, presumably from when he and Alucard fought the proto-Millennium in the 1940s.

And then the Major flies along in his blimp and confirms it.

Meanwhile, Integra gives the Last Battalion a merry chase, but eventually she crashes the car and seems to be cornered. One asshole tries to get closer to finish her off, but she decapitates him with her sword.

His comrades accuse her of being a “sore loser” and tell her to give up, but she mocks them all for being cowards who surrendered their humanity. She’s hardcore, she’s hardcore.

But before she can fight all these vampires alone, somebody comes along and throws a bunch of blessed bayonets at them. These did a number on Alucard and Seras, but they didn’t cause any lasting harm. Seras was even able to pull them out without too much trouble. But this shithead just disintigrates on the spot. Remember, the Last Battalion’s main advantage is their number. Individually, they’re not terribly impressive, at least as vampires go.

But yeah, it’s Alexander Anderson, along with his two sidekicks, Heinkel Wolfe and Yumiko Takagi, the stars of Kouta Hirano’s earlier manga, “Cross-Fire”. We’ve seen Heinkel in Hellsing before, but I think this is Yumie’s debut here. They chastise Anderson for interfering, since they were only sent to observe, but Anderson is too fired up by Integra’s fighting spirit, and he wants to kill some vampires, dammit.

Turns out there’s quite a few of these Iscariot guys here, maybe all of them, but Anderson starts doing a whole routine with them, as they chant all this stuff about how they’re assassins in the tradition of Judas, the disciple who betrayed Christ. I’m not sure I get much of this, but it’s nice that Hirano put some thought into Section XIII as the super-secret death squad of this fantasy version of the Vatican.

And that’s all we have for now.

#2021 hellsingliveblog #hellsing #sir integra hellsing #alexander anderson #walter c dornez #seras victoria #sir shelby penwood #the major #the doctor #warrant officer shrodinger #the captain #zorin blitz #heinkel wolfe #yumiko takagi

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