#well i went a little overboard | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ananke-xiii · 20 days ago

Text

Sailing from Byzantium or Parents shouldn’t outlive their Children.

As you set out for Byzantium…

Okay so. I’ve been writing illegibly scribbling about resurrection in SPN for over a month now, so I think it’s finally time to talk about Jack’s (first) resurrection in “Byzantium”. Let’s goooo, I really hope it’ll make sense! As usual, it’s gonna be loooong, without images and with baaaaad paragraphing so just FYI. Here we gooooo.

I’ve described S13 Castiel’s forbidden resurrection (Chuck didn’t want him back, Billie couldn’t care less, no other entities were interested in him being back, like, at all) as a team effort: Dean, Jack, Cas and the Shadow all worked, consciously or not (but mostly not), to get Cas’ ass back on Earth. I’ve also compared it to the myth of Isis and Osiris because, to me, this specific resurrection has some very, veeeery strong romantic undertones to it. Of course, it bears repeating, it’s my interpretation that Cas got back because he was immensely loved and he loved hard in return. The show doesn’t outright say it, but it strongly implies it, and I’ve picked up on that vibe. However, his resurrection was possible in the first place because Jack willed it and he willed it because he missed his father. So another strong theme here is parental love and I loooooooove this stuff. Let me explain.

I’ve elsewhere said that Sam failed Jack the moment he didn’t tell him that he was missing Mary and he wanted her back. If he did, Jack would have latched onto that like I don’t know what, because he understands what it means to miss a mother. A similar thing applies to Dean, although he’s way more emotionally (and brutally) honest with Jack than Sam is. However, what Dean doesn’t outright say is that he blames Jack for Cas’ death (I’ve talked about I many times and I don’t want to repeat myself here, but basically I think that it’s not about Jack per se but about Cas’ choice to leave them and go away with Kelly. In other words, it’s complicated and I can’t always write the same things over and over again, lol, so sorry if I oversimplify sometimes). The moment he does, when he yells in Sam’s face while Jack is eavesdropping, an-already-attuned-to-his-moth-Dean Jack finally understands Dean because Dean’s pain, like Sam’s, is also his.

This is no moral judgement of the characters but an interpretation of the little tragedy that the first episodes of S13 are: three people, closed-off in themselves like monads, who are all grieving and don’t have the tools and/or the strength to really sort through their own emotions. A scene that stuck with me is when Jack is in front of his parents’ fucking pyre and he doesn’t know what to say. It’s a brief scene that tells a lot: Jack’s lost everything the moment he was born and, of course, he doesn’t know what to do with that. Because he’s just born. He’s left with…. The Big Empty. But this is also what Sam and Dean are feeling, in their own ways, so basically if they all knew how to communicate they would have found out that Jack was THE person who could have understood/helped them the most.

But, of course, if that happened, there wouldn’t be any tragedy in the first place so that was the whole point.

Back to Jack’s eavesdropping. I don’t think Jack picks up on the reason why Dean’s out of his mind over Cas’ death because he doesn’t have the same picture that we do. But what’s important is that he understands Dean’s pain because he also feels a similar pain but, of course, in his case he’s missing Castiel as his father. Just like the Quest for Mary isn’t solely due to Jack’s tendency to appease Sam and Dean, the Resurrection of Castiel happens because Jack is attuned to Dean, absolutely yes, but also because he wants it for himself. As in: Oh Dean’s not okay and one of the reasons why is Cas, but wait! I’m also not okay and one of the reasons why is Cas! Because I was supposed to have at least one parent looking out for me and he’s not here for me.

To sum it up: Cas’ resurrection is spurred by romantic love but it’s actualized because of filial love.

I’ve had to say all this because Jack’s resurrection in "Byzantium" follows the same path but in reverse: it’s about parental love but it’s actualized because of… (a-very-twisted-but-here-we-are, let’s-just-say-it-and-be-done-with-it) eroticism. Yes, ‘cause, sure, Chuck has his pervy thing for Dean but the Shadow surpasses even God when it comes to Castiel. Cas is “Of the Shadow”. Because it’s either that or I am the weirdo that instantly associates “I’ll come when you let the sun shine on your face” to la petite mort, the little death. Eros and Thanatos, the usual. I mean, it could be that I’m the weirdo. Let’s see!

If Dean, Jack, Cas and the Shadow were all needed to resurrect Cas, in Jack’s case…

Lily, Jack, Cas… and the Shadow again are needed.

(lol, when I write “and the Shadow” I have that song in my mind, the one that goes “and your friend Steve, tutututuruduuduuuu, Steeeveee, lol)

((also… Dean and Mother Figures… one day I’ll also have to expand on that))

(((also II… I’m super aware that Sam is a VITAL piece in both Cas’ and Jack’s stories and you can find a little bit about it here. I’m soooo sorry to do my little giant dude so dirty by erasing him, but if I add Sam to the picture as well this post becomes a behemoth or something and I can’t have it, I’ll make up to him I sweeeear)))

(((( I know it’s taking so long but we’re going to Byzantium which is pretty far away, be patient))))

All Aboard!

What is Byzantium exactly? Well, “Sailing to Byzantium” and its following “Byzantium” are two poems by W.B. Yeats which constitute the foundation of… “Byzantium” in S14. I’ll be focusing mainly on the first poem because I think it’ll be enough but the two are strongly connected and should be considered together rather than separate.

That is no country for old men. The young In one another’s arms, birds in the trees, —Those dying generations—at their song,

As we can see, one of the main themes in “Sailing to Byzantium” is old age vs “the young” and mortality (of the body) vs immortality (of the soul). These are the same themes of this episode which are translated for the show’s sake into the old theme of the “it’s not natural for parents to bury their children”.

In the bunker, after Jack’s death, Sam, Dean and Cas are lost and don’t know what to do:

[Cas, Dean, and Sam linger in the hallway outside Jack’s room] CAS: Maybe we should… start thinking about next steps. DEAN: Wake and a bonfire, Hunter style. It's what Jack would've wanted. [Sam says nothing, but storms off. Cas tries to stop him, but Dean stops Cas with a hand on his arm] CAS: Sam. [to Dean] Your brother's in pain. DEAN: Just let him be. If he needs his space, we're gonna give it to him.

They need to “bury” Jack and this triggers Sam into running away. Dean and Cas find him defeated in a forest: Sam wanted to gather woods for the pyre and made a whole mess out of it because he’s not okay and he feels like he hasn’t done enough. Like he has failed Jack. To that this is what Cas has to say:

CAS: This doesn't feel right. It's just not how I thought Jack's story would end. SAM: Yeah. None of us did. CAS: The certainty… of death, even for angels, it's always felt natural, but this doesn't. Jack being taken before his time. I mean, taken before me.

This scene establishes that Cas, maybe for the first time, understands relativity… deeply, into his own heart. Death is certain, it’s natural so how come Jack’s death doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel… natural? Jack’s being taken before his (Jack’s) time is not unnatural by definition, it’s unnatural by Cas’ relative notion of Time: Jack’s time (before HIS time) is defined by Cas’ time (before ME) and Cas, like all parents, simply logically refuses the idea or even the possibility of seeing his child being taken away before him. It’s not a law of nature but it’s a law of humanity: no parents should ever see their children die. If that happens, it means that something went wrong, that it wasn’t right. That is no country for old men and no country for parents outliving their children.

In “Ouroboros” when Cas is confronted with the finality of death again, he’ll try his best to reassure Jack and make him understand how time works differently for “things like them” compared to humans. He’s trying to be brave in front of Jack but he’s not reaching him because he doesn’t believe in his own words. He betrays himself when he says that “when Dean wakes up -- and he will wake up -- we just have to remember to appreciate the time that we all have together now”. Even if he’s telling Jack that he must accept Death, he’s not accepting it himself. WHEN Dean wakes up AND HE WILL wake up. PERIOD. This is thinking coming from the heart rather than the mind. And it’s… truer? More vulnerable? Honest?...Human? Maybe the greatest tragedy of humanity is not that we don’t accept our death but that we can’t even conceive of the death of our loved ones. When Death arrives and takes everything from you but… you. And Cas cannot accept either Dean’s not Jack’s death. He simply can’t.

Together with Sam, Cas contacts Lily Sunders, the same woman that wants to kill him to avenge her daughter’s death. Lily, we’re tactlessly reminded by Dean in case we hadn’t noticed lol, is… old.

SAM: Dean, you remember Lily Sunder. DEAN: L-- You got old. LILY: Did I? An unfortunate side effect of giving up magic, I suppose.

She’s old and almost soulless but she can, perhaps, “pull off a miracle” or… a trade. “Resurrection and a cure” in exchange for getting into Heaven… to see her daughter, May.

Old age and the soul is another theme in “Sailing to Byzantium”:

An aged man is but a paltry thing, A tattered coat upon a stick, unless Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing For every tatter in its mortal dress, Nor is there singing school but studying Monuments of its own magnificence;

The body decays but the soul lives and claps its hands and sings! Despite the “mortal dress” the soul can still be magnificent. In the character of an old(er) Lily Sunders the episode conflates all of its themes: parents and children, soul and mortality.

Yep, because there’s a little caveat in this trade and that’s Jack’s soul. Jack’s first resurrection doesn’t come for free, it has a price that he himself has to pay.

Now this is the point where I have issues with the episode and the series as a whole because “Byzantium” poses an interesting moral dilemma: your life or your soul? Sam, Dean and Cas all have their own take on the matter and the episode explores them. But what about Jack? Since, you know, it's his life and his soul.

Well, unfortunately I don’t think he’s given much of a choice and I think it was unfair.

When in Byzantium…

Yeah, okay, but WHAT is Byzantium? Well, Byzantium is, of course, Heaven. Crumbling empire under siege. Christian stronghold, holy city. Yeah, that’s Heaven right now in s14. So this means that people/entities will have to sail to Byzantium, aka Heaven, in this episode. Conversely, since Heaven is a place for the dead and the Angels, some other people will sail from Byzantium and back to life.

Heaven-Byzantium, however, has a little bit of a problem in the form of the Shadow storming its gates to take Jack’s… soul? The ghost of his Grace? His essence as Nephilim? I mean, I don’t know exactly what the Shadow wants because Jack belongs to two realms at the same time so I guess it wants its half. What I know is that it wants him in some capacity. Although, to be fair, for a cosmic entity that wants to sleep forever, going to great lengths to take one “soul” or whatever seems… weird? I don’t know, what I’m trying to covertly say is that, I think, the show has never really explored the Shadow/Empty and I think it was a shame. It wants to sleep forever but it storms Heaven’s gates for Jack, it wants Cas to suffer BUT it wants him to be happy AND it also wants to stay awake to come to Cas when he’s happy… The Shadow is confused, lol. Or, maybe, in love?? (Okay, now I’m joking but you must admit that the Shadow wants a lot of things. *In Lucille Bluth’s voice*: Good for her!).

Jack’s in Kelly’s heaven but they don't share much screen-time together. As a matter of fact, Jack’s not given much choice to begin with. The “life or soul” dilemma is left unexplored because the plot takes precedence: it’s 46,750,000,000 human souls vs Jack’s soul now. I like that, at first, Cas downright says no to Naomi when she tells him that he must help her stop the Shadow by handig over Jack. But then, when he finds Jack, he seems to change his mind a little:

CAS: Sam and Dean and I-- we found a way to bring you home. JACK: So, I'll be alive again? CAS: Yeah. But to do so, we-- we need to use magic that will draw on your soul. JACK: W-What do you mean, my soul? CAS: It'll be just a small piece. And I know it's too much to ask, but it's the only way. KELLY: No. I-I don't know. CAS: It's not just Jack's life that's at stake. It-- The Empty has invaded Heaven because it wants you.

Kelly going "No" and then "I don't know"... I love her so much, Queen of Messes.

Although Cas told Dean that Jack should have a say in the matter, he eventually decides for Jack and asks “too much” of him. Again, I want to say that this is a judgement-free zone, if I had the possibility to resurrect my dead child I would burn cities and commit genocides, ngl. This kind of prevarication, a prevarication out of love, is something that I can see fit in this episode because it relates to its foundational themes. What I don’t like and think takes something away from Jack is the “It’s not just Jack’s life that’s at stake”. Mmmm it doesn’t sit well with me. Fuck Heaven, fuck cosmic balance and fuck the Empty: if the cosmos can't do its work properly it's not my problem. Overriding personal dilemmas with imminent apocalypse-level threat is something that cannot be overused every other episode or it'll get boring. The stakes cannot always be so high, I need to see characters make their own choices and Dabb era takes this away from me! *Clenched fist raised to the sky for emphasis*.

Since Anubis has been literally summoned in this episode (the Egyptian myths, man... I've been saying... I've been saying) I think I can safely say that on his scale Jack’s soul weighed less than all those billions of souls. In other words, the Greater Good prevails. But what about Jack? Leaving aside whether I like it or not, he still doesn’t get a vote because the whole point is that the Shadow wants what it wants and it wants Jack. So Cas has to interfere and cuts a deal with it. And then we totally forget about Jack’s choice. It’s a given now because it’s the billions of souls and, ON TOP OF THAT, his father’s sacrifice. Even before becoming God Jack was asked to take on his shoulders such impossible burdens and… I don’t know, I actually feel very sorry for him.

So “Byzantium Delivered” by our very Castiel and him and Jack are ready to sail away. For one people leaving, one must arrive. Cas wasn’t the only one who made the sacrifice: Lily pays with her life and we know that her sacrifice is selfless because she manages to enter Heaven’s Gate. As Dean puts it, she couldn’t let anyone go through what she did: outlive their children. There’s a part of me that’s sad that she paid the price and died but another one is happy because now I can speak about something that I adore: parents saving their children.

Once out of nature I shall never take My bodily form from any natural thing, But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make Of hammered gold and gold enamelling To keep a drowsy Emperor awake; Or set upon a golden bough to sing To lords and ladies of Byzantium Of what is past, or passing, or to come.

Here Yeats is saying that once he’ll be “out of nature”, aka dead, he’ll never take another bodily form but he’ll become a work of art made of “hammered gold and gold enameling” that will set upon a “golden bough” to sing the past, the present and the future.

I have to tip my hat to Meredith Glynn here because this was awesome. As I’ve said she has used Yeats' poem to talk about parents going to other dimensions and making sacrifices for their children. This is the meaning of the “Golden Bough”.

The “golden bough” refers to an episode in the Aeneid where Aeneas goes into the underworld to meet the shade of his deceased father Anchises. In order to do so this, he must give a gift to Proserpina, the Queen of the Underworld and the gift is the golden bough itself.

I said this was awesome because Aeneas is the son that goes to another dimension to meet his father but in “Byzantium” it's a father and a mother who go to Heaven for their children!!! Which first of all, I think it’s BEAUTIFUL, second of all we have, AGAIN!, a reversal of myths at play here!!!

When I say that Castiel and Jack are exploding myths from the inside I’m not saying it because I’m crazy but that’s because this is what the show was telling me up until a certain point!

If you scratch and scratch and scratch, “Byzantium” is a retelling of the myth of Demeter and Proserpina, the mother going to the underworld to save her daughter (it's waaaay more than this but bear with me or this post'll never end). I mean, isn’t that awesome??? I fucking love it!

I swear I could go on and on (and I will!It's a threat!) but I think it’s high time we left Byzantium…

Goodbye stranger, it's been nice!

I hope I’ve made clear how Jack’s resurrection involved Lily, Cas and Jack himself (although he didn’t have much choice in the matter and that’s regrettable). I have to talk about the Shadow before I let you go of the insanity that is this post. So let’s end it with more insanity, shall we?

O sages standing in God's holy fire As in the gold mosaic of a wall, Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre, And be the singing-masters of my soul. Consume my heart away; sick with desire And fastened to a dying animal It knows not what it is; and gather me Into the artifice of eternity.

Now this is where my weirdness potentially shows: here Yeats is talking about his desire to meet the “sages standing in God’s holy fire… and be the singing-masters of [his]soul”. He wants his heart to be consumed and freed from the chains of the material body (“dying animal”) and be gathered “into the artifice of eternity”. Now Yeats, to me, is talking about a sort of transcendental and mystical experiences which, as we all know, have very clear sexual undertones. And, I don’t know, I guess I see these (much darker) undertones in this episodes too? The Shadown is the master of Cas’ “soul”, it owns him, to it “years and eons” (the time of the heart for Cas) are nothing. Now or a billion years from now means nothing to something like the Empty. It wants to take Cas when he’s outside of time, in the moment of “happiness” which is the moment when things “happen” (“the artifice of eternity”), which, in turn, is a moment outside of the deterministic world of SPN.

It’s just like when, in “The Big Empty”, the Shadow tries to seduce Cas and persuade him to go back to sleep because, out there, there's nobody who loves him but here with it? There’ll be peace. Only, this time, the Shadow is pretty pissed and it’s like: I don’t want you now because you don’t want me so I want you to suffer now. Go back, live your life, one year, one thousand, it means NOTHING to me. You’re already mine. No, I want to own you to the point that I’ll come to take you the moment you will be happy, when you’ll be outside of time, I’ll come then and take you away with me. Because you’re mine in time and outside of it. Beyond eternity.

I mean, this is perverse and insane but also very erotic :D And, to be honest, it kinda makes sense because the energy of the “Eros” (not sex, "eros" in the psychoanalytical sense) must be involved in a process so delicate as the resurrection. One needs to want life to go back and make people go back to life, you know? And since we’re talking about resurrecting souls, Psyche if you will, you sort of have to have Eros? The two go together.

So to really sum it up this time: Jack’s first resurrection was another team effort. It required a lot of love as usual and this time it was the parental love for their children that pierced the veil and saved the day. But it also needed a bit of erotic sparkle to ignite it, the final, unseen ingredient of the spell. The Shadow provides this sparkle in a capricious way just like only very ancient cosmic entities can do. However, the price that they’ve all paid is very, very high: Lily’s life, Cas’ happiness and Jack’s soul. It’s a bittersweet victory that announces catastrophe.

Okay, I can’t believe I’ve made it but I’ve made it. If you’ve been with me until the end, I thank you and hug you <3. I hope you enjoyed it!

#I went a little overboard hahaha (keeping on with the metaphors)#I'm just very passionate about resurrection (ihihih another joke!)#I don't know. I think it's a cool theme? And I mean. very genre-related.#i mean. Isis was an ante-litteram Doctor Frankenstein #and Osiris was her Creature #yeah. sure. ofc.context. time and place. culture. etc. but collectively speaking. as in “collective” = western culture #alchemy and hermeticism and all that. that stuff has been circulating for centuries and it still is thank god #myths keep repeating and repeating and changing as well #oh wait a sec. is this the reason why Jack likes zombies?#that kid was BORN to resurrect the dead LOOOL #Okay i'll stop #these tags... i feel like i'm soliloquizing here but people read them #anyway. hope you enjoy this!#supernatural #spn #castiel #sam winchester #dean winchester #jack kline #on resurrection #jack the puer #myths we live by #the shadow spn #spn s14 #byzantium #s14e08 #meredith glynn

8 notes · View notes

skulltreefairy · 1 year ago

Photo

Guess who got a new laptop!! ;u; This picture is actually a bit oldish but I felt like I needed to post something to celebrate! Hopefully more to come soon!

#king knight #shovel knight #the pumpkin pauldron prince himself #clip studio paint #sailor moon laugh #metal rendering practice mostly #I went a little overboard with the sparkle brush #the anatomy is a bit janky but oh well

77 notes · View notes

star-critter-2-sonic-hq · 1 year ago

Text

@mstormcloud

Why not both?

They just finished beating up some badniks together!

[ Click image for full quality ! ]

Time : 2 Hours and 57 Minutes

Date(s) : December 2nd - December 3rd, 2023

Layers : 17 Layers (At one point, there were like 34, so I had the merge a bunch together)

#I feel like I went a little overboard with Silver's Diamond Cutter arm warmers oh well #I still need to finalize designs for these two #buddies!!!#amy rose #silver the hedgehog #star sketches #Perferbly don't tag/view as ship

13 notes · View notes

seilon · 3 months ago

Text

pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah

con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines

#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm #as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which #usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips #and I couldn’t go in because well. you know #I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything #let alone take the bus and go to work #but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town #apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level #so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too #one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they #were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly #straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem #pretty significantly populated with queer ppl #I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda #meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer #or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and #makeup and gender fuckery and so on #and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them #and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my #friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out #that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone #3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been #hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when #I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted

2 notes · View notes

acearohippo · 1 year ago

Note

Mermay's over, but I'm not done with it! Anyway mermaid Tang Xuan Au where Tang Xuan is a octopus based mermaid and Li Ling is like a rich aristocrat. They meet when they are kids and become best friends then Tang Xuan goes away. So a few years down Li Ling is an adult and thinks he made it up till Tang Xuan shows up again. Lewis is also going to be in this idea (cause he deserves it) but I don't have an exact idea. I'm thinking sailor who was friends with Xuan and Ling when younger and also has to go away but stayed in contact with Tang Xuan

You put down Octupus!Merman!Tang Xuan, solid as octopus are know for their flexibility and adaptability, but I raise you WingedFish!merman!Tang Xuan, specifically Four Winged Flying Fish. Fast, sleek, [small,] and can perform decent feats of acrobatics when it launches itself out if the water and into the air. They use their ability to speed boost to outmanoeuvre predators, so they're agile too!

Lewis would be a legend, spread in multiple small towns and isolated villages, as a pirate who shows no mercy to other ships that cross his territory, his wrath setting ships ablaze with a terrifying plume of fire that the townsfolk can see clearly from the comforts of their beach. The screams of these tortured sailors travel with the wind from their emblazed ship, providing easy fodder to scare unruly children into doing their chores and listening to their elders.

In reality, Lewis is in a petty sibling cat-and-mousrle game with Bonnie, Lewis actually being part of the Western King's admiral fleet and trying to catch up to his Pirate!Sister before the Royal Navals find her. She smuggles herself onto pirate ships, in the hopes of joining a crew and going on bloody adventures, but since she's a bit too... Excitable... And aggressive... And bloodthirsty... The Royal Naval fleet always gets involved, and Lewis is almost always there to at least rangle her off the ship. He is fine with his sister's dreams, he just wishes they were a tad less violent so he didn't have to lose sleep over her potentially getting caught and sent to the gallows.

With that being said, Bonnie is a bit of a legend herself, among the pirates, as her figure holding a crude, hodge podge farming scythe in one hand and a ball of fire (actually a lit flask) in the other, is the omen before their ship explodes and they're left to die a slow death. She appears out of nowhere and vanishes just as abruptly too.

Then everything you said is happening between our two boys, with the added spice that Li Ling goes off to find his friend, with the idea to find this Legend and join his crew, so that there will be no rules stopping them and no eyes and ears reporting back to his family. Of course, he hops on his Best Friend's™ ship, Lewis, not realising that this man is the Legend and Lewis can only keep a poker face and act like this Fire Fist legend is someone he's met rather than himself.

#the hippo speaks #dislyte #li ling dislyte #tang xuan dislyte #lewis dislyte #btw the fire fist name comes from witnesses watching him and his sister playing hot potato with active flasks and wildly exaggerating #Tang Xuan knows Lewis because they reenacted the little mermaid accidentally on one of Lewis' attempts to grab his sister #he fell overboard smacking his head on a cannon and Tang Xuan had jumped out of the water to prevent him further injuring himself #honestly i feel like tang yun would make for a better octopus merman #they're intelligent but shy creatures too #excellent with camoflauging and tricking predators #he hated that his brother always went off exploring and made the dangerous decision to talk to the Sea Witches to find a solution #anesidora nicole and kara are only too happy to get a new subject to test their spells and potions on #they impressed their father as well #hyde has never been so proud of his kids' ambitions and success #tang yun is forming a legend of his own as a kraken like entity that destroys lighthouses ships buoys anything manmade #it's cause he's following his brother in secret #the irony is that tang xuan is searching for him since he's disappeared #thanks OP for this lovely little au #i hope your pillow is always cold when you sleep #the hippo responds #the hippo tags

21 notes · View notes

sxcret-garden · 9 months ago

Note

OMG MINGI NSFW ALPHABET PLS PLS PLS ON MY KNEES BEGGING SCREAMING CLAWING AT YOUR LEGS HUGGING YOUR TOES PLS OKS PLS

Hahahah omg ajksfölkasdfjka

I'll try to have it up within the next few days, but stuff got a bit delayed unexpectedly because... life. But yeah, it's almost done soooo 👀👀👀

#maybe i went a little overboard with it... ah well :')#i'm missing three letters so we hope i have some peace later in the day and can finish those!!!#ask #answered

5 notes · View notes

jayyydraws · 4 months ago

Text

never designed a tattoo before but a friend asked me to draw one for her so :)

#art #digital art #tattoo #tattoo design #inspired by a sleep token song #tattoo artwork #im no tattoo artist but i like it #maybe i went a little overboard with watermarking but oh well

4 notes · View notes

arctic-hands · 1 year ago

Text

I learned what a bullet journal was by watching a few YouTube artists set theirs up and my algorithm spiraled out of control from there so I guess I have all the bujo influencers to thank for getting into it because it has been a godsend so far on my third attempt, but damn if the over emphasis on aesthetic over the actual practical organizational aspect of it doesn't rankle me a bit

[thirty rambling tags later] huh. I didn't know there was a thirty tag limit in all the years I've been on tumblr. Whatevs I can't copy paste the tags onto the main body because I'm on mobile and I don't want to write it out again so I'll just summarize the last bit here:

If you are browsing the bujo tag because you feel bullet journaling will help you but you feel intimated because you don't think you can make it look pretty, or that the bullet journal method could never help you because it looks exhausting or the inspo you see doesn't cover what you need, I am pleading with you to ignore all the pretty inspiration, take the most common and even original Ryder Carroll formats and spreads with a grain of salt and eliminate or change them as needed, and talk to people who have similar needs than you even if they don't bujo and suss out what's important to keep track of. My bujo is eighty percent important medical bullshit, because that's what I need more than a book tracker. You prolly have your own unique needs. And hell, if you want a book tracker then add a booktracker. It's your bujo to format and plan out.

So like if you want to start bullet journaling, go to Michaels and get a seven dollar Artist's Loft dot grid journal. Or a binder you have left over from school years past and print out your own dot grid paper if you have enough ink and paper and printer that can do double sided (Kevin McLeod's site I forget the name of has free adjustable dot and other grids I've used), or buy a pack of 8.5x11 dot grid paper, and grab a crappy hole punch that just barely does the job. Get yourself a nice pen you think looks and feels nice in your hand and on the paper–or if that doesn't matter to you go get pack of Bics or even pencil if that's what you prefer (I use a pencil for things I can't have be permanent, like temporary meds or the dates of yearly vaccines). If you're twitchy about messing up then get the cheapest wite out they have (but don't worry about messing up especially if you're not even showing it off to anybody). A cheap yellow highlighter if you think it'll help. And a ruler if straight lines are important to you. I lost mine so I just wobble my lines now I don't care (and it's marginally easier to get a line adjacent to straight with a dot grid)

Anyway. If you want to bullet journal but don't know where to start or how to make it pretty or how to make it work for your needs, just try it in the cheapest way possible and rearrange the guts of the bujo as you see fit. And don't worry about the optics as long as you can make sense of your methods and writing.

(and for the love of God if you're bipolar don't make an hourly mood tracker yes our moods can and will fluctuate throughout the day but goddamn was that a bitch to log and abandoned a few weeks after inking it out)

#i see this with in regular journaling/diary circles too #people saying 'i want to start a bujo/diary but I'm not good enough at art ☹️'#like more power to you if you can make it pretty but it shouldn't be the primary emphasis especially with how useful it is #(it's especially depressing with just regular diaries and journals because like. you're under no obligation to share that shit with anybody)#I'm on my third bujo attempt because i got overwhelmed with my first two because i didn't know how to customize it with me and my needs #the most i got about symptom tracking was like a weekly layout checking off if the criteria was hit #and mood tracking was like daily smiley or frowny face in the corner #like my siblings in planning that is not enough for my chronically ill bipolar ass lol #i went way overboard my first attempt with just mood tracking. i planned it out HOURLY. every week #and that got overwhelmingly tedious and i use overwhelmingly deliberately. so i just stopped mood tracking #and then the whole thing got overwhelming so i stopped it entirely #gave it another shot because my method of scheduling things and symptom tracking was to write appointments and symptoms on post its #and pray they didn't fall off and i could remember where i even put them #and i see a lot of doctors so that was a LOT post its to keep track of #so i did another bujo but had the same problem as lack of resources and inspo and how to make it work for my needs #plus future logs were hard to parse AND i often felt too tired to lay out a new month or two every time #so like there were just whole months and the symptoms and appointments within just missing and i might as well not even have a bujo #so i stopped that one too #FINALLY after a little bit more watching Ryder Carroll and looking at prefab medical planners that were still woefully inadequate #AND MORE IMPORTANTLY talking to my fellow chronically ill. mentally ill. disabled. or all three. friends on what i should jot down #i finally got a system that worked for me thus far #i got rid of even staples like future logs and just laid out a monthly calendar format because that was easier FOR ME #and i laid out the year in advance so i could still have the scheduling part of i was too tired to do entire layouts at the beginning of the #month #my mood tracker was merged with my symptom tracker and turned into a symptoms *list*#with a section for every specialist i see. mood stuff just went under psych/therapist #also i switched to a binder format instead of a bound book for even more flexibility #i can easily remove things i no longer need. i can rearrange what goes in what section. i can easily add more to a section before the next #bujo #bullet journal

18 notes · View notes

avirael · 1 year ago

Text

FFxivWrite 2023

Day 19 - Weal

It had been the fourteenth summer of Rael‘s life when one morning they woke up, looked at themself in the mirror and realised that something needed to change or they would end up unhappy for the rest of their very long life.

It had been almost a year now since two of their best childhood friends had been taken away. Taken away sounded crueler than it had been, they had left willingly and in anticipation of the new life as Wood-Warders that awaited them, but from Rael’s perspective they had been ripped out of their life from one day to the other.

A long time Rael had spent wishing that they could join their friends but they knew that their role was meant to be a different one. A role they started to fear more with every moon that passed.

It‘s not like Rael hated the Rava‘s way of life or their village. They loved the Golmore Jungle and their home town but sometimes it all felt like it was going to suffocate them. Rael dreamt about what may lie beneath the borders of the forest and the adventures that waited there, while the days in their hometown were mostly uneventful, one like the other. But the idea of leaving all of this behind scared them all the same.

When their friends had left there hadn’t been much difference between them and Rael yet, but slowly Rael‘s body was starting to change, and they began to feel like none of this was right.

They did certainly not dream of being a boy, that idea seemed equally repulsive as the imagination of what Rael’s body would look like in a few years. Rael didn’t know what to want or how to feel, but wanting nothing at all couldn’t be an option, right?

Rael had tried to talk to their mother about how they felt and to their closest remaining friends too, but while most of them had been kind and patient, Rael was afraid that none of them really understood. Slowly Rael had started to turn away from the other Rava children and instead found peace in the forest and company in the creatures that lived there.

That particular morning though as they looked into the mirror while tying a cloth tightly around their chest, hoping desperately that it would keep their breasts from growing, Rael made a decision.

Just as they had finished putting on their clothes a raven landed on their windowsill and announced it’s presence by loudly pecking at the wood. For the first time it had appeared a few months ago as Rael had once again spent the afternoon in the forest and since then it returned quite frequently to keep Rael company on their walks through the forest or watched them from a nearby roof while they went through their tasks and training at the village. It had become a dear companion for Rael by now and they had named it Frelsi - Freedom - because the bird was free to fly where it wanted to while Rael themselves was sentenced to remain in this village for the rest of their life and grow into a person, into a duty, they hadn’t chosen for themself.

As Rael greeted the bird it fluttered over to the dresser and cawed at them before looking into the mirror. It blinked and turned its black feathery head this way and that. Rael wondered what it was thinking. Then it looked at Rael, cawed again and took flight back out of the window and into the forest. As they watched Frelsi vanish into endless green of the trees Rael suddenly knew what they had to do.

Usually every morning they trained with the other young Rava girls. The women taught them in the use of all kinds of different weapons and also how to hunt. But Rael’s main talent had always been magic, a trait they had learned from their mother. From an early age Rael had been naturally gifted in the manipulation of aether and sometimes even thought they could hear whispers in the rustling of the leaves or words in the chirping of the birds.

That morning Rael skipped the weapon training and went straight to the little clinic where their mother was tending to the wounded and sick. She had been surprised to see her child and scolded them for skipping their lessons but Rael ignored her words.

Instead they announced with unwavering determination in their voice: "I want to go to the Forest Sanctuary and learn from the Green Oracle."

It was said that in the middle of Golmore Jungle, where the forest was so thick that sometimes even the light of the sun couldn’t reach the earth, lay an ancient holy place with roofs of leaves and halls carved into giant trunks and stairs that reached up to highest treetops of the jungle. Only the strongest of the Rava woman were allowed to guard this sanctuary and apart from them people only visited it in the most dire emergencies.

Rael had heard rumours of the place and it‘s extraordinary mages, above all of them a person that was called the Green Oracle. It was said that the Green Oracle was a Rava much older than any woman in Rael’s village but with the appearance of a young child and their magic was so powerful that they could hear the will of the forest itself and sometimes even predict the future.

"Don‘t be silly, Rael.", their mother had said. "The way to the sanctuary is very long and they would turn you away anyway. Your magic is strong, I agree, but you’re too young and inexperienced to be chosen as a guardian of the sanctuary."

"I don’t want to be a guardian.", Rael had answered before finally revealing the truth. "I can hear the voice of the forest and it is calling for me."

The bowl Rael‘s mother held in her hands had landed clattering on the floor. For a moment she just stared at her child with wide eyes before slowly nodding. "I see… The way you sometimes look at the trees and the creek and the birds, like you understand them better than you do the other children. I feared it might come to this…"

"Feared? Why?", Rael asked surprised.

Their mother sighed. "The Green Oracle is the only one of their kind and it is said that they live at least twice as long as a normal Rava would. Only once or twice every millennium a child with their gifts is born to take the place of the former oracle. I don’t want such a lonely, long life for you."

Rael had just tilted their head and said: "But alone is not the same as lonely and I don’t mind being alone."

For a moment she stared at Rael but then their mother sighed and went to speak with the oldest and wisest of the other women. The rest of the day their village had been in turmoil. No matter where Rael went suddenly everybody seemed to eye them and whisper in hushed voices when they walked by. But in the evening their mother returned to their home and announced that they would leave together at dawn.

She hugged her child and handed Rael a small backpack. „I thought that maybe those will suit you more.�� Rael peaked inside and found the clothes they usually gave to the boys leaving town to become Wood-Warders. Rael wondered if their mother had misunderstood who they wanted to be but the gift made them inexplicably happy nonetheless.

The journey to the Forest Sanctuary took several days and for a while the forest was so thick Rael couldn’t tell anymore if it was day or night. Without their mother’s guidance they would have been hopelessly lost. But at some point the jungle started to feel different, more ancient and more powerful. From there onwards it was like something called Rael, guiding them into the right direction, and only an hour or two later they stepped into a glade filled with flowers more beautiful than Rael had ever seen.

On the other side of the glade the trees curled into impossible shapes and formed a gateway leading into the heart of the forest. On silent wing Frelsi emerged from the trees, flew a little curve and landed on Rael’s left shoulder. Suddenly a strong gust rolled through the wood and seemed to urge Rael to keep going.

As they stepped across the glade towards the entry to the sanctuary, two awe-inspiring Viera women stepped out of the shadows. They had without doubt been there the whole time but had remained impossible to be seen until then.

"We awaited you, Rael Hyskaris.", one of them said. "Please follow us.", the other added and led them through the wooden gateway.

The sanctuary unmistakably belonged to the Golmore Jungle, or maybe the Jungle to it? They looked similar but at the same time the sanctuary felt like a mystical dream version of reality. Nature and architecture went hand in hand here and it seemed impossible to tell where one stopped and the other started. Rael could feel the air sizzle with magic and ancient secrets.

For a while they followed a leafy hallway to both sides framed by identical trees like the pillars of a temple. Their branches formed a roof of deep green leaves through which the light filtered in warm beams. At the end of this hallway was a small creek, that meandered through a handful of tall willow trees and all kinds of forest creatures eyed them curiously. Sturdy roots grew out of the forest floor and were artistically woven together to small bridges leading into various directions.

Finally they reached the entrance to a cave veiled by vines with blue and white flowers. The entrance was pitch black but the further they stepped into the cave more and more luminous plants and fungi started to grow and illuminated the tunnels.

After a few minutes a bright light appeared ahead of them and as they came closer Rael realised that they had reached an exit leading onto another glade. The meadow was perfectly circular and surrounded by ancient looking, broad trees with snow-white bark and leaves in every color one could imagine.

In the middle of the meadow, placed in a small pond, stood a delicate pavilion elaborately crafted out of the same white wood and under this pavilion sat a small Viera. They had long white hair, sun-tanned skin and were dressed in a dark green robe streaked with white and golden patterns. It seemed impossible to tell wether they were male or female, they looked about Rael’s age but at the same time something about their posture and the gaze of their milky white eyes seemed ancient and omniscient.

"Are you the one the wind told me about? Are you Rael Hyskaris?", the Green Oracle asked with a voice that sounded very young and incredibly old at the same time.

Rael nodded firmly. "I am."

"And you think you can hear the voice of the wood?", the Viera questioned further.

"I do.", Rael confirmed.

The oracle smiled serenely. "Step closer, my child, and we will see about that."

Rael looked at their mother who stood beside them. She nodded encouragingly. Slowly Rael climbed up the three stairs leading onto the pavilion and the raven on their shoulder hopped down to the floorboards with a small caw. For a moment Frelsi looked at the viera sitting on the floor and the viera looked back at it. Then the bird almost seemed to make a little bow before it fluttered away and sat down on a colorful branch at the side of the glade.

“Sit.”, the oracle spoke quietly and made a gesture towards a light green cushion beside them. Rael did as commanded, their gaze reverently lowered.

A warm hand tilted up their chin and the milky white eyes of the oracle stared deeply into Rael‘s soul. "You came here for your own good.", they finally spoke and Rael felt caught by their words. "But as an oracle your focus will have to be the well-being of the entire forest and all the creatures living in it. Do you think you can do this?"

Rael shivered and answered honestly. "I hope I can learn how to fulfill this task."

The Green Oracle nodded. Slowly they turned around and then presented Rael with a small crystal bowl filled with an orange liquid.

"What is this?", Rael asked.

"It is the nectar of the blossoms of the most sacred tree in this forest.", they explained calmy. "If you drink from it and you truly are what you claim to be it will strengthen your gifts. But if you are not, it will drive you mad and my guardians will have to kill you for your own good."

Rael nervously glanced from the liquid to the oracle, who observed them and asked: "Does this scare you?"

"No.", Rael answered and shook their head. "I will drink it."

"But I have to warn you of one more thing.", the oracle explained. "The powers this nectar grants come at a prize. The moment you drink this, you will stop to age and never grow a single day older ever again for the rest of your life. You will never be able to have a normal life like any other Rava woman. Are you sure that this is what you want?"

For a last time Rael imagined themself - herself - as a grown woman of her mothers age, a fierce warrior defending her village or a healer just like her mother, maybe with a bunch of little Viera children and a lover she will only be allowed to see once a year.

Rael shuddered.

This was a possible future but they were certain that it wasn’t their future.

"You are the Green Oracle.", Rael said firmly. "Don‘t you already know the answer to this question?"

The oracle smiled. "I do. But I have to hear the words from your mouth and make sure that you know you had a choice."

Rael glanced back to their mother one last time and thought about the wishes she had for her child but their mother just smiled at Rael despite all of her worries. Rael nodded: "I am aware of my options and I choose the path of the oracle on my own free will."

"So be it.", the Green Oracle said and offered the crystal bowl to Rael, who carefully took it, raised it to their lips and then without hesitation swallowed the nectar in one go. It tastes almost like honey, just a little spicier, Rael thought, as the oracle carefully took the empty bowl from their hands.

Then suddenly a burning pain shot through their head and made Rael gasp for air. They convulsed and collapsed to the floorboards of the pavilion clawing at their head with both hands, their usual amber eyes glowing bright white.

For a moment Rael could hear their mothers voice screaming their name and the nervous caws of a raven mixed with the sound of fluttering wings. Then they heard nothing at all and every sound of the forest at once and dozens of images quickly flared up in front of their eyes before lingering on fire and flames raining down onto the Golmore Jungle.

After a moment Rael felt a hand on their forehead and suddenly everything stopped. They blinked and saw the Green Oracle leaning over them, Frelsi on their left shoulder curiously tilting it’s head. "What was that?!", Rael exclaimed and tried not to flinch away.

"I have to admit that I did not expect such a strong reaction.", the oracle stated thoughtfully. "What you saw was a vision."

Rael picked themself off of the floor, still shivering, and gasped: "I saw the forest burn!"

"Indeed.", the oracle nodded sadly. "I saw the same vision you did when I touched you. Just a little clearer than you I assume. It was a vision of the future. A future in which not only the Golmore Jungle, but all of this world will be destroyed."

"Wh-what?", Rael stammered fearfully. "What do we do now?"

"It was only a possible future.", the oracle explained trying to calm the young Viera down. "One that can still be prevented."

"But how?", Rael asked. "What can we do to stop such a catastrophe?!"

"All I can do is teach you the most important skills to control your powers." the Green Oracle answered. "Stopping your vision from becoming reality is something only you can do."

"Me??", Rael shrieked in panic.

"Yes, you, Rael.", the oracle put a hand on Rael shoulder and immediately Rael started to feel calmer again. "But to stop this fate, you will have to leave the forest."

"Leave!? But if I leave I won’t be allowed to ever return!", Rael said with another wave of panic flaring up inside them.

"Calm down, child. Fear is a bad advisor. It will only cloud your judgement and make you hesitate when you need to act.", the oracle took both of Rael’s hands in their own. "You are to become an oracle of the forest and the forest commands you to leave in order to save it. You will not be exiled. One day, if you can fulfill your task, you will be able to return and resume your training with me."

Rael let the information sink in and then slowly nodded. "I understand."

"You will have to learn as much as you can, so hopefully, when the time comes, you will know what to do. It will not be easy. There will be times of pain and sorrow and sacrifice, but you will have to endure them. For the well-being of all of us and to save every single living thing on this star."

"I will do my best.", Rael offered.

"May your best be enough... ", the Green Oracle said. "Say goodbye to your mother and then we will begin your training at once. There is no time to waste."

7 notes · View notes