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is-on-its-way · 9 months ago

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my problem with iwtb... I think?

Okay Im not sure Im eloquent enough to meta my feelings on this topic, I also havent seen enough past season 8s finale to really have perfect opinions on this, but from the clips I see on here and reddit etc. I have issues I need to work out…

There is something about the characterisation of Mulder in IWTB that really annoys me. And please correct me if Im wrong on his motivations. Usually my protest is the mistreatment of Scully. But in this case I think theres a certain mistreatment of Mulder’s character that really irks the shit out of me.

Firstly Mulder comes off as Tom Brady in this movie. So single minded and stuck in his ways he couldn’t possibly figure out how to live his life without the one thing that he thinks makes him successful or that he lives for. Two things... its the wrong obsession (more on that in a moment) and this is the opposite of where his character has been hurtling since he met Scully so as written it makes no sense.

The thing mulder was obsessed with and searching for since he was 13 years old was solved. He got his answer when he found out what happened to his sister. He was freed from his lifelong quest. He even was ready to give the agent thing up in the s7 finale, telling Scully the price had been too high and she needed to stop. Meaning he would also be stopping, bc he never wanted to do it without her. Sure he wanted to keep fighting in 8 to protect his baby, but they got rid of the baby atp, so Im not gonna get into that rn.

Turning him into the FBI agent ghost of Tom Brady was… a choice. Throwing away the love of his life, the one who believed him, the one who listened and supported him and loved him back endlessly for what? To help the organisation that tried to murder him? No. I just dont really believe it at all, because it's just not believable.

Secondly, would he maybe have a midlife crisis? Sure. Would he be lost or depressed? I could absolutely see it, they lost a child found out the aliens were taking over earth. Would Scully commit him rather than leave him alone in that house? For sure. And it would’ve apparently been the culmination of the plot line Morgan and Wong had worked towards since the beginning...

Realistically, he might've been lost for a while with the end of the quest for his sister. I get it, you work your entire life for something and its always just within reach and when you finally accomplish it, you think well what now? You’d thought, you’d held onto the fact that when you got to the top of the mountain you would feel happy and accomplished and relieved. But when you turn around at the summit from the horizon of the breadth of your work, youre met with yet another peak ahead. Some other goal, some other thing that occupies your mind because thats what your mind is used to.

You’re just going to have a really hard time convincing me for Mulder it was searching for proof of Aliens in random magazines, (when he knows there are aliens and they have invasion plans) instead of preventing the 2012 thing, publishing actual papers under his Luder pseudonym, and making sure Scully knew how much he loved her as his family had never done for him, making sure he made Samantha proud and lived the life she missed once he let her memory rest.

Thirdly he is intelligent, a psych major with alien superpowers, who graduated from Oxford. Would he be bumbling around making paranormal magazine collages a la Charlie Kelly when he ALREADY knows the endgame? Would he be dealing with random cases and helping the FBI who betrayed him and put him on death row?

Or would he be using Marita Covarrubias and his apparent new power to speak to the dead to try and stop the invasion by any means necessary? Would he be combing over Maritas paperwork, medical records, UN contacts, payment histories to find, like all those bees in Tunisia for example? Would he not be having Scully research this magnetite thing and getting papers written about its properties so that when the hybrids make themselves known there would be literature for people to find? or engineering an anti bee-virus virus? (damn those effing bees btw) Would he not be using every power of his beautiful mind to continue fighting in any way he could, fully of the reservation?

And could Scully then rightly say don’t bring that darkness into our home? Because my answer would be no. Even if she did go back to being a medical doctor (Im going to ignore the surgeon part because its out of character and would take her redoing residency etc. lets labor under the impression she’s a family doctor or ER doctor). They were right about one thing, the darkness follows them, and would still even if they both stopped looking. Thats the show after all.

Would she maybe have wanted a vacation where he could row her to a deserted island in the adirondacks? Sure. Would she be okay with letting an alien invasion happen in 2012 and saying to Mulder stop fighting? No. When one of them quits the other supports and encourages them back to the mission. Thats the show. If anything Scully having the breakdown about that darkness would’ve made more sense.

Anyway my point being, the transition from Mulder fighting for the big picture to him being a sad shell of himself in his hoarder office, telling Scully they weren't meant to be together is... jarring to say the least, and nonsensical. 😔

#txf #x files #msr #mulder and scully #fox mulder #the x files #xfiles #iwtb #I want to believe #meta maybe

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rocksandboulders · 1 year ago

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hey guys :) are you looking for more ways to manifest in your life and/or do you not have time to set aside for manifestations? even if you are not spiritual, these are great ways to build a healthier headspace for yourself.

my BIGGEST tip, which i use on a daily basis, is to turn your everyday tasks into a ritual. here are some examples to use or to find inspiration from:

1- CLEANING RITUALS (showering, bathing, brushing teeth, brushing hair, sweeping, dishes, etc.)

firstly, this is one of the easiest to come up with, and it makes large strides towards positivity, especially when it's something you dread doing. rather than thinking about how badly you want to be done with x task, take a breath and think about how you are doing x thing for y outcome. this can be something as simple as cleansing the space, both physically and energetically, but you can also get more complex with it if there's something with more steps irking you.

when i shower, for example, i use shampoo, conditioner, face wash, and body wash, and i use each item twice. this gets really tedious sometimes, but if i give a reason for why i am doing each thing, talking myself through the process, it slows my brain down, grounds me, and leaves me feeling much more fulfilled by the end. (ex: "i am washing my face to rid myself of any masks i put on that i dont wish to keep." "i am washing my hands to wash off any unsteadiness." "i am washing my chest to relieve my heart of stress.")

if you're interested in my very intricate shower routine, im absolutely happy to give a full outline of products, the intentions i use, the order in which i use them, etc.

2- FOOD AND BEVERAGE (herbs, teas, instant meals, restaurant meals, coffee, etc)

by preparing, ordering, or even grocery shopping, you create many, many different opportunities in which to manifest. in my personal life, i find it easiest to do when i prepare food or drinks for myself.

this can be something as simple as a singular ingredient, and as complicated as every ingredient and technique used! i think, most often, i use this when i make myself tea, because i can just think to myself a singular intention for the cup. "this tea is being made to comfort me." "this tea will slow down my racing thoughts." "this tea will make me sleep easier." etc.

i also like to ask my friends what they would like their intentions to be when i make them food or drinks. you can also set intentions if youre reheating something, re-seasoning something, or even just changing the plate or bowl it's served with.

3-ACTIVITIES (classes, friends, arts and crafts, music, sports, etc)

this is one that i think i overlook a lot, but im trying to make more space to manifest with in my life now. when in regards to activities, i personally spend a lot of time dreading the fact that i have to do anything (bc i would so love to just sit in my bed all day) (and im sure most of us would love that as well), but letting ourselves look at our opportunities negatively in the ways we do means that we push negative energy onto our experiences before they even happen. i, for one, have had my most fulfilling experiences when i have gone in with an intention of what it is for.

this does NOT mean the intention stays the same, or even stays at all. flexibility is key.

but i digress. if you friends are having a beach day and you spend the time leading up to it just dreading that it's going to happen, it's not going to go as well for you compared to if you spent your time being excited and happy. the flexibility comes in when your beach day is suddenly rained out. if youve been a party pooper, youre going to continue to complain, but if youve been optimistic and positive, youre going to work to find an alternative that is just as, if not even more fun.

this is also important in keeping you moving in classes. ("today i learn x." "i am going to x class because y." "my goal for today is to stay fully focused.")

CONCLUSION

this is so fun to me and if anyone wants to talk about it MESSAGE ME this is SO INTERESTING and i have SO MUCH MORE IWANT TO SAY

#manifesting #witchcraft #witches #witchblr #intention

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waterbottlqueen · 2 years ago

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i recently dug up this weird awkward rant-thing about garou i typed out over discord back in february and thought that i should try comparing my thought on his character now to my thoughts from a little over two months ago.

- "get rid of heroes"

i wouldn't say that he was trying to get rid of heroes. in a way, he wanted to be a hero himself. i think that he not only just wanted to prove a point (heroes arent as awesome epic cool as the media makes them seem), but he also only ever hated the idea of false heroism. not heroism itself; instead the false heroism that the heroes in the association parade around for popularity and ranks, not worrying about the issues too small for them to care for. he wanted to replace this false heroism with... real monster-ism. lol. just his "absolute evil" stuff. honestly, from the way he worded it, absolute evil is just unbiased justice. peace and order achieved via unethical means. because in his eyes, this evil could spread where good wouldnt. (if he just (literally) got gud it would have the same effect. same strength but give him a heart made out of rainbows and puppies like mumen rider)

- "heroes win too much"

i still stand by this. heroes/protagonists in fiction need to lose more often. gets kinda bland when in every form of media it is always the protagonist winning to state a moral at the end of "dont be a bad guy". but garous relevance as a character isnt about that. it isnt about him being a bad guy. its about him being a good guy under the guise of a bad one. and the lesson to be learned from him and what he says is that the people who appear good often only appear good for face; on the inside, theyre the real monsters. during garou's flashbacks regarding justice man, a cartoon that he and many other children watched, we find that the villains of the show tend to have actually good reasons. like the monster that garou defended who was trying to restore peace to the ocean. (maybe following the direction of garou, the ha could air a children's cartoon centred around a monster as the protagonist. i would unironically watch it.)

- "the pity card"

i feel now as though garou was never meant to be written as a bad character. instead, i think that he was always meant to be a strange sort of hero. by the "pity card" i am referring to when writers take a character who is initially evil and gives a backstory to get viewers to like the villain more and understand their side. but while that may work on me sometimes, you'll notice that this isnt the case with garou. even from the start, (or, well, not from the START, but from the beginning, i guess. his start was beating up a bunch of people lmao. but most of them were bad people, so my point is still there in a way) garou is a good person. hes a sort of mentor figure to tareo and stands up to bullies for him, protecting the shed and deflecting bullets just so that tareo doesnt get hurt by a "hero". he doesnt kill metal bat and his sister when he has the chance. later on, he saves someone from getting used as a sacrifice to the monster association as well as an old man getting mugged. (granted, he dine-and-dashes after, but its fine. hes just a silly little guy.)

- "id let him destroy the world and even then, he wouldnt"

again, i agree with february me on this. even while under the influence of god, who gives him the power to live out his original goal of ruling the world, garou starts sobbing when he realizes that he killed tareo from the radiation. we see him desperately crawling away in a meager attempt to save the young boy. from this you can tell that he finally comes to the truth: world domination would never achieve the peace he wanted. the people he tried to save with his absolute evil, those helpless, bullied children on the school playground that painfully remind him so much of himself would've died. garou snaps out of gods influence from that, asking saitama to take gods power in his place. garou says that he himself is the ominous future that must be defeated, as he is the one who killed the only thing that had mattered to him at that point. im guessing that garou never remembers this moment, but it does impact his character.

- "because hes a good guy"

back to the topic of garou not actually being a villain! as i mentioned, he isnt a bad person. he has more compassion and regard for human life than some members of the hero association (amai mask nearly slaughtering human people under mind control, metal knight knowing information about the hostage they had to save but still refusing to comply, etc.) hes more of a hero than a majority of the heroes in the ha. just a little unhinged. but hey, so are at least 60% of the s class heroes, garou would fit right in. hes definitely strong enough, hes clearly fine with killing monsters, hes good with kids, and hes a little crazy. (most importantly hes got accidental rizz comparable to amai. i can picture him running from an insane fanclub. the girlies would love him.)

so has my opinion really changed? not really, lmao. still love him, always will. forever my favourite character in the series. i think that i maybe understand him better though. do i feel cringe for writing this long ass shit about some fictional dude? yup. wont stop.

#shui talks #opm #one punch man #garou opm #i realized how long this was after typing out this much jesus christ #shoved this in a google doc to see how many words it was because i typed this on discord and it surpassed the character limit #three whole ass pages #yeah my favourite character is garou how did you know!!!#gee willy i sure do wonder!!!

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junebuggeryy · 2 years ago

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The thing about Apple White is that the story sets her up to be deranged in such a way that makes perfect sense for the lore. I feel like the desire to follow the previously established story isn’t entirely something that’s invalid, but I feel like the royal storyline clearly kind of drowned in its own initial conflict especially as like… The lines got blurrier, but like. The fact that there are enough details in world to understand why Apple might cling to it, like the fact that she’s got an immediate connection to the Charmings and her mother’s incredibly industrious background as well as just like…

The promise that she’s going to live happily ever after, the fact that her story is considered the epitome of fairytales in setting and how she essentially can’t imagine how anyone wouldn’t want that for her. She easily stands out as a character because of the fact that she obviously has a lot of toxic traits, but I feel like they do come from such a like “pure” place to use language from an earlier post. She can’t imagine why people wouldn’t want what she wants at first and wants to help even though her idea of helping is a flawed premise. I think Apple as a representative of the Royals is really interesting in that way with her and Darling serving as an excellent potential frame work for like… The “rebranding” of the Royals in a sense where they get to play out their roles, now changed, rather than oppose the Rebels.

But yeah like, the dichotomy really did fall apart because by the end of the Wonderland arc they all have to agree its too dangerous for the facilitating artefact to even exist and that fundamentally it’s better to let people choose their own fate so like. If they wanted one then they really needed to build around it a little more coherently, but I think just letting the initial dichotomy die and replacing it with something else would have been fine! It might even have given them excuse to rebrand their dolls and update their designs and sell more of them if that’s the point. Anyway, hi again

Hello Lovely Followers It's Still Ever After High Hours.

hi again. these are some damn good thoughts, and i think you're completely right? this is perhaps an ironic point, but stories are supposed to evolve. i could absolutely see a version where the initial conflict of the royals changed shape, and Apple and Darling got to rewrite what it means to hold the power they do. i would have loved to see the "royals" name change to mean something new rather than peter out, and im sure it could have even been worked into whatever marketing/doll design goals were required to keep the show running? but these things are easier said than done, i suppose

anyway, im ECSTATIC you bring up the wonderland arc, as i have a comical amount to say about it. in general, the wonderland arc feels like the point where the story stops being about challenging oppressive power structures, and starts implicitly preserving them. it makes sense for raven to want to help protect her friend's mom, the Queen of Hearts, and i dont think it was even a bad story arc? but i do think its notable that Courtly is the first time we see someone trying to change their world's power structure is painted as unequivocally bad. and it's not as if EAH's Queen of Hearts is a particularly kind version of the titular ruler, either? then, by the time we get to epic winter, the villains are explicitly servants that no longer want to live in servitude, and are acting out, and this is not commented on at all.

idk. maybe you could argue that Courtly is someone taking advantage of an unstable system? but i am biased and Courtly Jester is forever my #problematic fave. i have a known soft spot for clown terrorists.

i do wish they had written different exit for the storybook of legends? if i recall correctly, Apple finally voted to get rid of it because she was afraid of someone signing their name into the wrong page and stealing a destiny- which, honestly, i still find to be a fascinating piece of worldbuilding, and to be a concern in-keeping with Apple's character? but it feels like only one piece of a larger puzzle. it just, feels weird to have the defeating blow to the Storybook of Legends™️, and it's societal hold over people, to be the preservation of tradition. maybe the writers felt they had already done a thorough job of tackling the ways being trapped in tradition was bad for these characters, and needed a new reason to get rid of it? but- IDEK. i feel like there may have been better options.

honestly, it feels like the thing that's missing from EAH are the Royals expressing empathy or understanding for situations outside of their own? which, honestly, isn't really a complaint- the show's about teenagers, and it makes sense they would be a little myopic! hell, that's why Apple takes it so personally.

that being said, i do think its notable that i can't think of a single Royal that didn't turn over to the Rebel side for a reason outside their own destiny, from wanting to date a non-prince charming, to not desiring to be comatose for a century. maybe this could have been Apple? our girl with nothing to complain about, our girl being offered the most heavenly future she could imagine, deciding that her guarantee at a perfect life isn't worth it if it requires that her friends must suffer.

again, that's the Apple in my heart. idek. i feel like im talking a lot about broad strokes potentials and story building rather than canon characterization? even through all this, i still love what we got of this dumb silly fantasy highschool show, lol.

#ever after high #[bugg chitters]#im. im adding a read-more to this because theres just So Much Words #i would like to thank my EAH followers. and especially. my non-EAH followers

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yesimwriting · 4 years ago

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hi, i love all your work! could i please request headcanons for what it'd be like to go from being enemies to lovers with nikolai lantsov.

thank you:)

A/N maybe i moved this up on my request lists bc i woke up today and went 'nikolai lantsov'

- i'm being a little liberal with cannon bc my mind first went to 'princess! reader who hates nikolai bc they're competitive and then they have to team up together to try to get their parents to break up their arranged marriage but fall in love in the process (this might be a little undetailed but i'm thinking of writing a full fic or mini-series with this plotline so let me know if you'd be interested!! i could see a smutty ending to that fic but idk,, lmk what you thing ig lol)

- Ok so first off enemies to lovers with the loml nikolai lantsov would be SO GOOD bc he's so dramatic and obviously attractive so even though you hate him you know he's hot,, there's never a dramatic realization that he's attractive bc it's just a fact

- butttt you'd rather give up any claim you have to your family's throne than feed his already gigantic ego

- okk but lets get to the beginning of your enemies to lovers relationship

- so basically every summer your parents go and stay with Nikolai's family at this super fancy vacation home bc your parents are both royalty and your kingdoms have a very healthy relationship

- just bc it's the summer season doesn't mean it's summer vacation,, so as children for about a month you two share a tutor,, and when i tell you that created a rivalry so fast i mean it

- you're not the eldest princess and you're always trying to be the best for your parents approval, nikolai just wanted to impress the really smart girl who had a pretty laugh (poor nikolai lol,, he had no way of knowing how important being the best in school no matter what was to your self esteem)

- maybe if you two could communicate you’d like each other a little better at this point but it starts when you’re pretty young and by the time you’re like 13 it’s a solidified dynamic (and 13 year olds are the MEANEST and most insecure people in the world so that’s when your relationship turns to full enemies)

- now that you’re 13 you have more princess-y requirements, especially over the summer. So when you see that Nikolai gets to practice with swords and gets more free time while you have to practice setting tables you hate him more than ever.

- Nikolai senses that you’re extra hostile but he has no idea why,, he tries asking once but he makes a joke about how ‘maybe you’re jealous bc youre no longer the center of my attention’ and even though he’s just trying to ease the tension you feel like he’s making fun of you

- so that’s when things get aggressive, but at that point summer is almost over so it’s whatever

- next summer comes and you’re still SO MAD at him,, so when you get to the estate you’re like ‘i’m not even talking to him idc how quiet these next three months are’

- and you get there all determined to hate him,, but once you get there and see him something in you cracks bc he had the audacity to spend the last year going through puberty AND LIKE HE’S ALWAYS BEEN CUTE BUT THIS IS SOMETHING ELSE

- so youre mentally panicking bc how do you even talk to someone that looks like that now???? but then you remember that you didnt even want to talk him so in a panic youre like ‘maybe i can avoid him and he’ll just assume it’s bc i hate him bc i do,, who cares if he’s unbelievably hot now’

- nikolai doesn’t assume anything, he just gets to the estate and is like ‘why hasn’t she insulted me yet?? is she suddenly too good to give me attention?’ so during the lessons that you still share he gets an idea

- he decides to one-up you in everything bc that’s always gotten a reaction out of you

- it works,, every time he corrects you or steals an answer from you, you’re ready to snap but then you look at him and take in his stupidly perfect face and you just shut up

- nikolai thinks it’s not working so he just tries harder

- by the end of week one you can’t take it anymore so when the tutor leaves at the end of lessons you snap, you tell him off for how often he’d repeat what you said and change a few words and get all the praise from the tutor

- on the inside he’s like ‘took long enough’ but the more you rant he’s like ‘is she okay???’ he’d be more concerned if you weren’t threatening his pride and at this point he’s still annoyed bc if you were that annoyed you should have just talked to him instead of ignoring him for a week

- he’s thinking that just bc you got really pretty over the last year doesn’t make you too good to yell at him on the daily

- the worst thing anyone can do to nikolai is ignore him LMAO (lowkey relatable)

- so he starts arguing with you and you’re so upset that you forget about how aggressively attractive he is

- and you two are alone in this room and the more you argue the closer you two get

- the climax of the argument is when neither of you are yelling, you’re just so mad you’re beyond raising your voice and once you’re both at that point it goes like this:

“Nikolai Lantsov, you are the most insufferable person I’ve ever met”

“Well then, Darling, you should look in a mirror.”

“You are so entitled, so ridiculously self obsessed that it ruins your attractiveness.”

“...” he literally just like blinks twice. “You think I’m attractive?”

“Uh? No--i didn’t say that at all, maybe if you didn’t have the language comprehension of a child you’d understa--” he just reaches forward, grabs the collar of your dress, and kisses you.

- it’s your first kiss so you have no idea what you’re doing and it’s with some one you CANT STAND and you’re so mad bc you had expectations for your first kiss and he’s taken that from you--but the thing is,,

- he’s good at it. Like really good at it. Like so good it makes you curious about what he does the nine months of the year he’s not stuck here with you bc there’s no way he hasn’t had practice.

- but you’re also extremely confused and nervous and aware of how stupid you’re being (and a little hormonal bc being 14 isn’t easy) and then he places his hand on your cheek and that snaps some sense of reality into you bc it’s one thing to enjoy the kiss but another thing entirely to want him to escalate it

- so you place one hand on his chest and push him off of you slightly. He takes the hint, pulls away enough to look at you and then you two just stare at each other

- your hand is still on his chest and you have absolutely no idea what comes next, but you find yourself looking at his lips

- since you haven’t slapped him or pulled away more than a few inches he thinks maybe things are okay so he leans forward slightly and kisses you again.

- you reciprocate a little too fast, the kiss lasts two seconds before thinking about how insane you’re being so you push away entirely.

- He lets you go,, and in the most awkward display ever you’re like ‘uh I need to go,, i can’t be late to ball preparation lessons’ and you leave that room faster than you’ve ever left a room in your entire life.

- the next day you consider pretending to be sick to avoid him but that would only give him more power over the situation so you go,, and he’s just sitting there calmly

- youre on edge the entire day but he never even jokes about it

- a part of you is a tiny bit annoyed bc who kisses you and then pretends it never happened? but overall, you’re relieved

- the days pass and it never comes up but now whenever you two argue you think of how quickly kissing him both shut him up and got rid of your tension

- the summer goes by quickly, your usual dynamic has returned and you wonder if he even remembers kissing you. twice. in a row.

- the next couple of years are normal,, even when you two no longer take lessons together you still dont like him. He’s just so assured and he takes such joy in bothering you.

- and then one summer your parents sit you down and they’re like ‘we need to plan the future alliance of our kingdom’

- you’re a little confused bc you’re rarely allowed to sit in on these things bc you’re a girl and you’re basically meant to just be a royal’s bride--and then you realize why you’re there.

- you start protesting before your father can finish announcing your engagement

- the parents were smart bc they announced it at the end of summer so you two couldn’t drive them crazy or conspire

- the first thing you do when you get back to your castle is write to him for the first time ever

- your letter is basically ‘pls tell me you’re doing something’

- the two of you talk until you come up with the plan to get your parents to break up your engagement

- your parents dont really care about your feelings and they expect the two of you to argue with them,, but they care about the kingdoms

- so you two decide that if you act like youre so in love that you let your duties slip the engagement will end,, especially if you two are in love in a toxic way

- so the next summer you two make sure to flirt and act like youre totally obsessed with each other and skip lessons together and just are constantly together and acting like you’re on a honeymoon

- your parents are like ?? since when

- at one point you flirt with a random guard just so Nikolai can have a ‘jealous outburst’ while your families are strolling through the garden

- ngl jealous nikolai had you ready to RISK IT ALL,, you were ready to drop the plan and marry him on the spot

- he notices bc he notices everything about you and when your family walks away he gives you a quick kiss and youre stunned,, much to his delight

- your desire to break up your engagement takes a slight backseat in your mind bc you decide to set off on a secret goal to make him flustered

- it doesn’t take much, your dresses get a little more risky, your comments get a little more suggestive

- the only problem?? he seems to have his own personal goal and it’s to make you even more flustered than he is

- soon the two of you are lost in layers of pretend and competition

- when your parents are finally thinking about delaying the engagement and keeping you two away from each other until you calm down a little (i feel bad for them,, an entire summer of being surrounded by the ULTIMATE sexual tension)

- you’re sad and you don’t know why bc this is what you wanted, but then Nikolai stands up and says that you two planned for this and he has the letters to prove it (he was ready to drop the receipts LMAO) and youre like ??what are you doing?

- and he says he’d rather marry you then never see you again bc now all he wants is to get know you bc he has no idea how he wasted so much time arguing with you

- and you just meltttt but your in front of your entire family and his as well so you just sit there for a minute and then you tell him you feel the same way

- but the summer’s over

- you kiss him before leaving and he says you’ll have to visit bc he can’t go an entire year without seeing your ‘pretty face’

- you promise to visit him soon

- your at home for exactly a day and a half before getting an invitation to visit him

- you laugh bc the only way that letter could get to you that fast is if he mailed it before you even left

- you say yes obviously,, and spend some time having a really cute fall-dating vibes together until you figure out how you really feel

- and you feel like he makes your heart STOP and that’s why you hated him,, bc you didn’t like being vulnerable

#grisha #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone imagine #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov imagine #fic #headcanon #enemies to lovers

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chiakismp · 4 years ago

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tsukki with a "clingy" s/o

i am a "clingy" person and i hate being called clingy bc i am just touch starved loll

dont b scared to send me requests pls

warnings : angst, cussing

angst under the cut ~

tsukishima had been avoiding you recently, also acting weird. he had avoided yamaguchi and hung out with other boys who looked like gang bangers or some weird shit. you didnt know what was going on and you never had the chance to ask him. if you texted something to him he'd always say, "not rn, y/n. im busy." it hurt your heart a lot.

"tsukki?" you pop your head in tsukishimas classroom door to see if he was there.

you saw him sitting with 3 other boys, they were talking loud and tsukishima didnt hear you call for him. you were about to call his name again before he said something that truly broke your heart.

"she's so clingy... always texting me and shit.."

you froze. clingy? that wasnt really your goal. your goal was to be the best girlfriend and make tsukishima happy. there were many more beautiful girls he could have chosen, you know that, but he chose you. and, he had decides to call you clingy?

"tsukishima.." you sigh and put yourself in the room.

your eyes are watery, your voice is shaky, but you try to hide it.

"y/n? what do you want?" tsukishima asked.

"n-nothing, i was just wondering if we could hang out later?"

"im busy later," tsukishima lets out a small laugh and turns around.

you try to hold in your tears as you run down the hall. you can feel people staring at you as you run. you had just wanted tsukishima to love you back. you tried hugging him, kissing him, cooking for him, etc. he payed absolutely no attention to you. you deserved better, yet you were too dumb to realize that you could leave him and find someone better.

you run to your house and cry, tears wouldnt stop rolling down your cheeks. you couldn't stop them even if you wanted to. all you wanted was tsukishima; you needed him. he was your other half; so very perfect in your eyes. no matter what, you had wanted to be there for him.

you roll your sleeves over your hand and attenpt to get rid of your tears. not only that, it was your 1 year anniversary together. you had hoped he would remember beforehand but he hadnt. you thought he would go back to normal and give you an amazing gift. or just spend the day with you. but no. he chose to forget about it and instead do drugs or whatever the fuck his friends were leading him to.

you hear a small knock on your door. you quickly wipe your tears as much as you can and run to open the door.

"hel- oh. tsukishima, what brings you here?" you sigh.

"you said you wanted to hang out," he pushes up his glasses. "why do your eyes look.. fat?"

you rub you eyes, "its nothing. and- uh, i-i heard you say something earlier.."

"what, exactly?"

"y-you said i was..., clingy," you take a breath to contain your tears from falling out.

"yeah, youre fucking clingy. its annoying, dont you think?" tsukishima scoffs. "imagine if i clinged onto you 24/7."

"i dont mean to come off as annoying, i-" you feel tears roll down your soft cheeks.

"well you did, congratulations. i dont know why you dont give me atleast some space to fuckung breath. youre always thinking about yourself and not how i feel," tsukishima spits.

"i always think about how you feel! i try my best to make you happy and-"

"shut up, you act like thats gonna make me happy. giving me barely any space to breath would make NO man happy, got that?"

"tsukishima! i wanted to make you happy but all you do is treat me like shit! why dont you go talk to the popular whores that your friends always gaze at. maybe it'll help you fit in more. they wont be as clingy as me, theyll give you space and talk to other men," you cry.

"maybe i will? they're better than you'll ever be!" tsukishima yells.

"dont fucking compare me to those shit heads. theyre way more prettier, smarter, and just better in general. go fuck them or whatever. tell your friends you finally got rid of your shitty girlfriend. thatd make you so happy, wouldnt it?" you scream, tears falling down you cheeks.

"y/n." tsukishima tries to grab your arm.

"dont fucking touch me!" you slap his arm and run up to your room.

"y/n! youre not shitty! i was just mad and reflected it on you! the volleyball team isnt doing so good right now and i was so frustrated, please y/n... i'm sorry. i didnt mean to imply i wanted to hook with the other girls. you're perfect in my eyes." tsukishima runs behind you and sighs.

"fuck off, tsukishima." you could hear your small muffled cries.

"fine, y/n.. I'll leave you alone.."

ee im so bad at angst

part 2 here!!

#hq angst #haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu!!#tsukishima kei #im trash #hq #tsukishima x you #haikyū!!#haikyuu tsukishima #hq tsukishima #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader

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uncloseted · 3 years ago

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i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)

I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆

Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).

If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.

Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.

Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.

In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:

Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".

Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.

Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.

Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.

Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.

Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.

For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.

76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.

You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.

There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.

Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.

I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️

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whoknowsbud · 4 years ago

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Speeddemon storyline

Again, not much was actually written... the format of this one reads way more like a discussion at times, because that was how a lot of this was developed and... I don’t really wanna fix any more of this stuff.

Again, DO NOT TAG AS GIO/MIS!!

Pompeii:

Giorno snatches the keys right out of Fugo’s hand and jumps in the driver seat, "hurry up get in let’s go!!" So Fugo & Abbacchio are like 'ok... at least he treats things with urgency'

The trip is horrific, and Giorno almost drives right through the park. The 「MITM」 fight happens as it did in canon, with maybe a little dry heaving stumbling around from Fugo & Abbacchio.

Abbacchio realizes he can’t drive on the way back, he’s lost too much blood and a whole hand, And Fugo...

Fugo tries, he really does. He tries so hard to get Giorno to let him drive. But... well. He’s scary. He’s a literal demon in the car.

Abbacchio: "HE ALMOST KILLED US!"

Bruno: “Giorno? That's ridiculous.”

Fugo’s almost crying because he never thought he could meet a more dangerous driver than him, and that was terrifying, but he doesn’t say anything because he’s still shaking from everything that happened in... 2 hours?

They almost crashed into a few cars on the way, almost drove right into the ruins, Giorno infected himself on purpose, he almost crashed into a few more cars on the way back, etc.

To Florence (the train):

Van scene? They all get thrown onto each other like sardines.

BIG TIME THERES NOT EVEN A SECOND TO REALIZE IF SOMEONES TOUCHING TRISH, EVERYONES ON THE GROUND IN SECONDS

ABBACCHIOS SCREAMING BECAUSE GODAMNIT HIS HAND

BRUNO HAS BIG CONCERNS BECAUSE WHERE THE HELL WAS THIS SIDE OF THE BOY!?

Narancia’s probably having fun

GIORNO ACTUALLY PASSES WHERE THEY HAD TO GO AND NOBODY REALIZES IT FOR LIKE A WHOLE 3 MILES, BUT SUDDENLY THE VAN WHIPS THE FUCK AROUND AND ALMOST TIPS OVER, ALMOST CRASHING INTO SEVERAL OTHER CARS AND ZOOMS BACK

AND THERES NO SUCH THING AS SLOWING DOWN TO GIORNO, THOSE WORDS DONT EXIST

HE ONLY EVER SLAMS ON THE BRAKES

Bruno believes Fugo and Abbacchio now.

After Florence:

"Do you feel that, Coco Jumbo," Giorno laughs. He's speaking to the turtle, seemingly forgotten that everyone's inside, "this speed, the rush! Nothing can catch you! Nobody can reach me!" And that’s... odd. That’s not the kind of thing they’d expect to hear.

Not from him; someone who didn’t seem to care who was in his way, (probably) willing to run over anyone.

And when someone (let’s say Mista) gets out of the turtle to say something, Giorno panics. He’s freaking out, because nobody was supposed to be able to catch up, he was safe as long as he was moving, moving, moving, moving, but someone was here somebody caught up and-

"Dude, hey, hey, relax! I was just going to say, we should stop for some food! There's no enemy here!"

And he realizes he summoned [Gold Experience], and its strength was crushing the wheel in his hands, and the gas pedal creaked dangerously under his heel from the pressure he was putting on it. He loosens his grip and lifts his foot, breaths heavy with the echoes of his fear, "r-right, its... safe..."

And Mista’s staring, he knows that’s not right. But Giorno wasn’t ready, clearly - and Mista didn’t want to lose an arm because he pried too soon. But he didn't forget it, and found himself watching Giorno a lot more. Watching for signs of whatever the hell set him off, trying to see if there was something they could do. This was the new guy, the youngest of them as well as probably the strongest & most confident, but he seemed like he was almost in worse shape than they were when they joined

Giorno doesn’t notice, but the others do. It’s in the way Mista sits in the passenger seat with almost no hesitation, and how he stares so closely at Giorno when he’s driving. Well, they don’t really notice that, but Mista brings it up.

"Do you notice that Giorno looks... free?" Nobody knows what the hell that’s supposed to mean, except Bruno, who agrees but doesn’t expand on it.

"Do you think Giorno...," he starts at some other time, but stops himself.

Abbacchio fills in, "is a lunatic? Yes."

"No - I mean, he’s a little crazy, but I mean- do you think he-," Mista hesitates, and finishes quietly, "he’s running from something?"

That strikes a nerve.

Because they’ve all been running from something. The past, the future, themselves, or others – they’ve all been running.

Venezia:

Thanks to Ghiaccio and that chase on Liberty Bridge, Mista figures out exactly what made Giorno panic so badly

Whereas Mista just startled him before in that truck, Giorno knew there was nobody around on that bridge.

When Ghiaccio shows up, Giorno knows it’s because he caught up

He was only caught when he stopped before, he was always safe when he moved. For the first time in his life, someone caught up when he was running;

Because he’s not fast enough, and if one person can catch up then there are hundreds of others, and he can never be safe again.

Mista figures this out because Giorno’s saying it out loud; "I’m not fast enough", "they’ll catch me", etc.

And he realizes Giorno is running from everything.

He was probably even trying to run from them, emotionally.

Now I’m not sure what kind of speech Mista could/would give, but I imagine there’d be something there about... Not how running away doesn’t solve anything, that’s not what he needs. Something like...

"It’s easier to run away when the thing chasing you can only walk."

Or of course, "if you get rid of what’s chasing you, you don’t need to run."

So Giorno realizes there’s one thing he’s always done when he’s running that he hasn’t done now

Stop.

So he slams on the brake and summons [Gold Experience] to stop the car from up front. Ghiaccio was not prepared for this, and he slams right into the car, skidding across the icy top and sliding ahead on the bridge, probably for a good mile.

And now it’s time to run again.

[Gold Experience] hits the car from behind to get it moving while Giorno hits the gas, and Ghiaccio is definitely hit.

Mista’s stomach is in absolute knots, he feels it in his throat, but he cheers anyways because hell yea, and that light of freedom is back and Giorno’s laughing, when seconds ago he was approaching a near total breakdown

Of course Ghiaccio’s not done, but they bought time, time to get ahead and thaw the car, time to get several miles closer to the goal and a plan

Which is when Giorno drives the car into the canal.

(Not before making a pigeon and sending it ahead to steal the disc, as well as just filling the car with leafy plants)

So they kind of just... huddle down and wait. No way Ghiaccio would see the bubbles & ripples and think it wasn’t them, and Giorno was sure he’d freeze the water to be sure they’d drown. With the plants they’d have oxygen for a few hours, and the pigeon (having been made from one of Trish's hairpins, stolen of course) would return to the turtle with the disk in no time (he hoped), so they just had to wait.

Of course, this wouldn’t be Golden Wind if something didn’t go wrong. So there’s a splinter in the glass the two are worried about, and they watch with growing fear as it steadily stretches across the windshield, water streaming in, until the break is too big for the glass to stand.

This is where they don’t have time to think of alternatives, and they have to swim out asap. There’s no telling where Ghiaccio’s waiting, or really where they even are, so they just have to hope for the best and get to the surface

And the surface is, of course, frozen over. So they have to estimate where they are by light - or rather, by shadows, because their best chance of going unseen is to break out under the bridge.

Which... Ghiaccio’s smart, he’s figured that out too. But he doesn’t know their stands, so he’s waiting right above, waiting to hear the telltale smash.

But they don’t actually break through; it’d take too much energy, be too loud, and the rest of the ice would be too unstable. Giorno, Mista, and [Gold Experience] are just kind of... pushing against it

Eventually it starts splintering and cracks open, and they can get their heads out at least to breathe - at the same time Ghiaccio’s starting to rant about secrets, or girls, or... something, they aren’t really paying attention

They’re both getting ridiculously numb, but the ice seems like it won’t hold their weight, so they can’t get out of the water too quickly - they actually have to push their way through, cringing and holding their breath at every sound.

Giorno sees the pigeon on the rather distant statue and knows the disc must be inside - disappointed that it isn’t handled, but glad the pigeon blended in well enough that the statue was never investigated. But the trash was, it seemed, and whatever image Mista thought of made him grin.

It was enough of a distraction from the cold that they were able to drag themselves onto the bank, but the next problem was an even bigger obstacle. How could they get to Ghiaccio and take him out, or get to the disc and grab it, before being seen...?

Giorno considers the ice itself. He couldn’t make anything that'd actually help in this cold - the water they’d just escaped was already freezing over - but a distraction... And nothing was better to get an enemy's attention than to make them think they were making a break for it.

So Giorno makes 2 winter bass - big enough to make a lot of noise, but not so big that they’d be immediately caught - and drops them in the most fragile area of reforming ice, sending them on their way. Their backs bump the solid ice a few times as they go around, and Ghiaccio makes a noise like a squawk and jumps up, following what he believes are the two targets

They both get up. Giorno signals for Mista to stay down, but Mista grabs his arm, "hey, relax a little, let me. I need a success somewhere; you're hogging all the glory." He smiled, to show he’s kidding but intends to do this, and though he doesn’t get it, Giorno smiles back slightly.

Mista’s weird boots don’t have the slight heels Giorno's shoes do, so it really was for the best as he trudges his way to the statue. After a second, he grabs his gun and starts trying to chip the stone away, grabbing the pieces as they fall, and watching where Ghiaccio ran off.

Eventually, when he sees the corner of the case, he fumbles, nearly cursing aloud when the pieces of stone hit the ground with echoing clacks

He ends up panicking, yanking the disk out, and scrambled back to the bridge

And then they both realize they have no idea what to do next

Giorno gives the disk to Trish's hairclip pigeon and sends it off, but they still have a big threat to handle. Neither of them can tell how much of their shaking is from the cold, and how much is the anxiety

Giorno ends up grabbing Mista’s hand, hoping it would ground him, and Mista realizes just how scared Giorno actually is. How scared he probably always is, when they're not moving at insane speeds.

And he can't let that fear be any more justified.

"We'll get out of this," he whispers, "we'll get this guy, get back to our friends, and we'll be moving again, little buddy."

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jwnbwnjwn · 4 years ago

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Entry 8 (12.20.2020)

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve posted an entry on here. My last one was back in September, and man a lot has happened since. First off, My sleeping schedule has been messed up for the past couple of days, and in a bit I’ll get to why. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it in any of the last posts but, if I didn’t then my goal for the last couple of months has been to get on a (keto) diet and lose some weight, and I’m here to tell you I still haven’t, I haven’t even stuck to a diet for that matter. The only diet I’ve had has consisted of take out and midnight snacks. Anyways, now let’s get down to business. I went ahead and read my latest blog post before this and I laughed at the fact that I said I was starting a diet, yeah that never happened. Im happily at 160 lbs at the moment (not really happy about it but oh well).

I mean covid-19 is still going on, its kinda spiking then calming down, spiking again, and its just this whole repeating situation. Everyone's still wearing and masks and doing everything to be safe, although I think my towns cases are starting to go down. It is around Christmas time so they’re starting to decorate everything, all the parks and stuff; so hopefully that doesn't spike the numbers up again. When going out though I still have to be careful, I can’t catch covid and give it to my loved ones, and I would rather not make history and get sick.

I guess I should start here. I wish my life was still the same as it was during my last entry. I really do. I wouldn’t have known what I do now and I would’ve just been at peace, happily living my life and struggling with school. I ended up getting a D in that biology course, and dropping that math and history course. Yeah, it was a pretty shitty school year tbh. I’ve never been that lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school but man, this fall year really took a toll on me because I legit did nothing all year. In result of it, my gpa went to absolute shit and down to a 2.8. I now gotta make that up during the summer and try to get it as high as i possibly can. I just finished my second fall semester so I’ve been on Christmas break for about a week now, but honestly this break feels so lazy and gross. I am reading my last entry to see what I can catch everyone up on, as things have changed drastically. I mean my friendships are still fine, I still keep in contact with seatbelt and ice and maria. I keep in contact with them almost daily honestly. About my relationship, thats where I wish things were the way they were three months ago. Without going over too much detail, a girl reached out to me and let me know her boyfriend and Mr. were trading girls nudes again. Honestly hearing this a second time broke my heart, but I really didnt have much of a reaction to it. It hurts every here and there, but I guess im forcing myself to open my heart and forgive and forget so I can go ahead and move on already. Mr. and I are in a certain situation trying to avoid law enf*rc*m*nt so things have been kind of hard recently. He’s been seeing me many times this week just because of the fear itself that one day might be his last time to see me, but I think things are starting to cool down with our/his situation, so hopefully he’s not walking on eggshells too longer, because seeing him worried makes me worried and vice versa. He’s looking into going to therapy and having a closer relationship between him and god, in order to get rid of his old ways and make himself into the better person he needs to become. I can’t really get into details about the situation on here as it legit would be the most dumbest thing I could possibly do, but in result of getting closure about it, he told me he was planning on purposing in the near future, like before 2021 is over - but then he had to go fuck it up and put that on hold. After talking about it we’re going to have to attend counseling once again, but in hopes of fixing our relationship and getting closer again. I love him a lot, I do, but man he is one dumb ass person. I really hope and pray he gets his stuff together, because I really do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean, I guess we’re kind of in an awkward part in our relationship, but its honestly because of the situation we’re in, so we just have to work through this and rebuild the trust he ruined. I know he’s going to be going to individual counseling for sure, but I have a feeling that’s just going to turn into couples counseling the way it happened the first time. I hope I can get myself to go into counseling for myself as well, because man, I really do want to work through these issues I have deep down inside of me, but I can’t find the courage I need at the moment - maybe after all of this is done I will. Mr.’s dad is still really sick, but im still praying to god and the heavens above he gets better. I’ve been talking to my dad a lot and my relationship has been improving, while my moms and I’s is kind of going backwards slowly. About those two discord friends, I dont know why I put “crunch” as one of them. I forgot what his first nickname was, but I know it wasn crunch. I mean his name is cesar, so i guess i got mixed up lol but yeah i’m not friends with c*sar and shr*mp anymore. I mean I got really close with him, and I did consider im an important person in my life, until one day I logged onto Discord to see he kicked me out of the server and blocked me, which eventually resulted in everyone from the server blocking me and deleting me off roblox so, I pretty much had no say in it. There wasn't even a reason TO block me, I legit just logged on randomly and was blocked. Although I found out through someone else who was also in the server before he himself blocked me that apparently I was jealous of shr*mp and I guess calling c*sar manipulative got him upset and thinking so he blocked me lmao. Anyways, because of this I dont really play Roblox that often anymore, but instead I watch anime now. Currently waiting on AOT’s new episode releasing today so, thats something exciting to look forward to. I cant wait for christmas just so i can see the look on my siblings face when they see what I got them lol. I also got Mr. a chain bracelet, so I hope he likes it and actally wears it. There’s not really much else except being on eggshells with Mr. and wasting my life away. I’ll keep you guys updated. I’ll try to post on here more often.

Ended this at 12.20.2020 at 8:27 AM

-jen

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cawcawpeasants · 5 years ago

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Hi it's me I'm new but can you do one we're asta joins the Dark triad and how whould they treat him I know it's stupid but I couldn't think of any thing else

Hey there love. Thank you for all your kind messages, they really made me happym so I wanted to return your kindness by getting my butt out of this slump!! And sorry for the wait, I was on an excavation, but now I have Internet again and I had a long time to think about this.

So, this could be a relly great Idea for a kickass AU work. Like, what if Asta met the dark triad early on in the story, lets say even before the magic knights entrance exam. Canonically he met Fanzel around that time, too, so we’re even going to place this happening before all that.

It starts with the big What If the Spade people had their Informationnetwork better under control and had way better spies than they appear to have right now (cause yall, how coukd they have missed Asta. He was in the Newspaper for gods sake. How bad a spy do you have to be to miss that? And for a warmongering nation, they really are way too uninformed about strenghts and their enemies. Little pet peeve of mine.)

BUT! Now, they hear of this kid who got a great and strong grimoire in a place where that doesnt happen. First they hear all about Yuno and are like, yeah, okay, new blimp on the radar, we gotta calculate this new potentially powerful enemy in, and then they get the news of Asta and how he came to have a weird and shady 5 leaf clover grimoire. And now at least Dantes interest is piqued.

So, they decide to check it out, cause who might that be? Which Demon has found a new host? And how did it happen without them hearing about a big catastrophic event in Clover, which is usually Zagreds, the word demons, preferred method of getting what he wants,

Things are so interesting that the Zogratis siblings go on a road trip together, to find out more and maybe cause some menace on the way, in case they get bored. Its gonna be prime family bonding time!

They meet Asta under the skull, where he always trains, and they see him basically just lugging this big sword around but...not using either magic or the devils power. Something is weird here. Vanica also comments that the kid is kinda hunky with some nice features, but kinda veery very tiny, and she loses a bit of interest already. Zenon appreciates a dude who knows his workout, but the no magic factor makes him think of Asta as kinda weak, way too weak to be a Devil host, and he tells Dante that it might be a fluke, that their information was wrong, and that they should just go and find the responsible spy and torture him, for having them come out all this way just to see a kid play at being a knight and yell a lot.

Dante still has an uneasy feeling, that it might be a little more than just that, but he also has to agree that Asta has not shown any sign of devil powers, so he cant even ask lucifero which Demon slipped past their Network and got stranded in Clover, and this part of clover of all places too. Really, no self respecting lord of hell would do this to themselves, not even Zagred who maybe got a little desperate over the millenia.

Just as they are about to turn and leave, a voice comes up to them, asking them what they are doing. and yes, it comes up to them, cause they are in their usual and very very stealthy and absolutely not suspicious manner flying half a kilometre over the ground, maybe a little to the left, so they are guarded by the shades of the columns, and bickering with each other about first going to torture the spies, or getting something to eat before that. Just ye normal roadtrip talks.

Anyways, Asta heard them or sensed them (my boys instincts are crazy, like damn), and his gut feeling tells him something is off wht the weirdly fancy dressed floating strangers with seemingly cold eyes and spade-symbols and regalia all on them. He might not be the smartest noodle in the pot, but even he knows when he sees people in a place they dont belong.

Yeah, so, from here on out things can go a great many ways, Zenon would probably suggest they get rid of him and also that would make at least for a little amusement for now. Vanica would probably agree, cause at least they would be doing ANYTHing but staying there and doing nothing but watch a little boy. Or they could get some snacks, shes kinda hungry, for the 300th time today.

Dante tho, he still wants his questions answered. So why not ask? He floats down towards Asta, and is all like, Hello there young man, that is a fine sword youre having there, pray tell where did you get that?

And Asta is like, wow, someone likes my sword? And this little angel boy just happily wants to help people, especially those 3 nobles who seem like they got hella damn lost (and not like they are a nightmare for many captains and Julius, I mean, can you imagine all the work thats gonna have to happen, when they find out that the dark triad can just enter Clover all willy nilly?? Oh, Marx is gonna haunt them with papers for months! And Augustus voice is gonna shriek through all the castle in that unbeliievable high octave about how useless they all are, and yeah, things just aint gonna be great, but Asta doesnt know, this blessed summer child is not the brightest light at times)

Cause sister lily and father Orsi raised him right he shows Dante all about his sword and his grimoire, and Dante sees it and probably goes like !!!. And then he knows that Asta really is a demons host, but he doesnt seem to have realized it himself. How strange. He tries to ask Asta a few questions, but the kiddo just really doesnt know a thing and after a while of talking around the topic, he tries the more direct route

“Say Boy, have you ever heard a Voice inside your head? Telling you things about your magic and what to do?”

“Yeah, Yuno says thats called thinking and that people should do that more often.”

“...right. But was there one besides the regular Voice you hear when you think?”

“No? Was there supposed to be one before I got the grimoire?”

“...Nevermind”

Asta also couldnt remember ever seeing a weird figure, well not specifically because “not before you guys showed up. I think the weirdest figure is probably Yuno, way too damn handsome that jerk!”

Or sensing another Magic mingle with his, “What do you mean this isnt my magic?”

Finally, Dante asks Asta if he ever heard about the Devil, and “Yeah of course, I was raised in a church, and Sister Lily tells us all the best good night stories! Im gonna mary one day and then we tell each other all those every night!!” And then Asta got stuck thinking about his sister Lily,and Dante had to realize that its no use.

He could now either kidnap Asta and train him under the dark triad, or he could leave him be and keep his tabs on the strange kid with big dreams. Yeah, well, kidnapping Asta is, if the conversation with him was any clue, not gonna be an easy and quiet thing, and its gonna be a political mess, a headache to boot too. Also Zenon and Vanica are probably going to try kill Asta if he gets too much for them anyways, so i would be useless. He sighed, and shook his head, and shot Asta a fake smile

“Thank you for answering all my questions, boy, have a nice training session for whatever it is youre trying o achieve here.”

“Oh, Im training to become a Magic knight in a few months!”

“Ah”

“Im gonna become the Wizard king! (✧ ∇ ✧)”

“...Well, good luck with that, Im going home now”

“Thank you, also your friends left like 20 minutes ago”

Cue unhappy Dante. But at least they learned something...I think? And they went and cleaned up that Information pipe line real quick and then got something to eat.

Yeah so, I tried. Im still not back to peak form, but this was fun! Poor Dante was probably hella frustrated afterwards, but Asta really jsut doesnt know xD and later on, Asta is constantly wih people who are pretty sure to recognize the Spade royalty. I mean, they dont make it particulary hard. And Asta has his goal set, and he takes the most direct route to get there.

im pretty sure, as things are now, Zenon and Vanica are going to be way more interested too, but I really need to know a lot more about Vanica.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, and thank you again for sending me those words of encouragement! Have a lovely day!!

#caw caw #man its been ages #im sorry folks for disappearing of the grid #and ya know what #thanks to corona #i dont have uni #so maybe if anyone wants some easy headcannons hit me up #im kinda feeling this again :)#black clover #The dark triad #Asta #Dante Zogratis #Zenon Zogratis #Vanica Zogratis #beware: no plot just weird musings and ramblings

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crossroadsimagine · 6 years ago

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Hi my sister said you'd do a best friend match for me and we worked on it together! So here it is! Girl or boy is fine either way and from My Hero Academia! My personality is noisy and always happy and kind and a wee bit crazy sometimes and can get very sad easily. I cry when I get mad. Likes are: exploring the outside and coming inside when it's hot. I like exercising. And I like lizards and fish and small animals. I dont like spiders, spider webs, cockroaches, and jump scares. (1/?)

☰ Best friends with Eijiro Kirishima

Kirishima is very friendly and tries to getalong with everyone and make friends with everyone, which means he’s kind andfriendly to you from the first time the two of you meet, It’s most likely that thetwo of you will become good friends through a hobby and similar interests wherethe friendship will only grow stronger with time.

He’ll come to treat you almosthow he would if he had a sister which makes him quite protective over you,though he is protective over all of his friends he won’t let anything happen toyou while he’s around. Whether it’s physical or emotional from bullying orteasing he’s quick to defend you, even a little too quick at times but he canhave a bit of a short temper if he hears anyone criticizing you or talking badabout you.

He’ll also step in to defend you whether you are around and someoneis teasing you right to your face or if he hears someone making fun of youbehind your back. Being protective over you is just in his nature too it’s notbecause he thinks you are weak or need protecting, it’s more that he feels likehe has to do something or say something because he’ll get mad the second ithappens.

But if you stand up and defend yourself, he’ll let you take the leadand just have your back for whatever you want to say or do. But if you’re notso good at standing up for yourself he’s quick to do it for you, especially if youseem upset and you do have a tendency to cry when you get mad. Kirishima willnot like seeing you cry for any reason and can make him angry at whoever madeyou mad, no matter who it is, whether it’s a friend, stranger or family member.

He is also comforting and understanding so if you do get mad and need to ventabout what happened, or why you had a bad day, or even if something’s justbothering you he’ll listen and he can be a good listener to you, he’s alsorather sympathetic and his mood can change based on yours, like if you are mad hecan get mad because you are, or if you are happy he can become happy becauseyou are and can feed off your emotions.

Which you do generally have a noisy andalways happy attitude which often matches his own because he is very positive,upbeat and nearly always optimistic no matter the situation and can just aboutalways find the fun in every situation.

You are also very kind yet a tiny bitcrazy on occasion, and he will like how kind you can be and even likes yourcrazy side because he can have his wild moments. On the down side you can getvery sad pretty easily which can catch him off guard at times especially if youcan get sad out of nowhere, because he won’t know immediately what to do tohelp you.

But since he is comforting and a good listener he’ll just flat outask you if there’s anything he can do for you or what he can do to cheer youup, and even if you say no he won’t take that for an answer and will come upwith something to take your mind off things, suggesting a video game, a movie,going for ice cream or even just going for a walk.

The two of you do have similarinterests and hobbies, because you both enjoy the outdoors, exercising, videogames and being with friends, and even the things you like that he may not havean interest in before he can take an interest in because as your friend he’llwant to be able to talk with you about the things you like.

He will like videogames and playing games with you though he does tend to enjoy action orfighting games the most he’ll play just about any kind of game at least once,though like you he won’t like jump scares especially in video games.

He is veryoutgoing and will like trying newthings, new foods, drinks so trying new restaurants or going to festivals orfairs will be a lot of fun for him, not only because there’s a lot of actionand games but he will like trying new foods and won’t mind sharing foods withyou at all, especially different snack foods or appetizers, he’ll want you totry stuff because he’ll want to hear your thoughts.

He will be very supportiveand encouraging of your dream or any dreams you have throughout life, same withsmall goals you want to achieve like if you want to learn something new like aninstrument, language or how to make something. He’s even up for learning thingswith you even if he may not be very good at it, he will try, especially if ithelps to encourage you to try your best or keep going.

Because he genuinelywants to see you do well and succeed and achieve everything you put your mindto, no matter how big or small your dreams and goals are.

He compliments andpraises you pretty often any time you impress him with something, whether it’sbecause you know the answer to something or show how intelligent you can be indifferent situations, but also he’ll be impressed any time he sees how good youare at something like drawing well, putting a puzzle together quickly or comingup with a great idea or solution when there is a problem as well as when you givehim good and helpful advice.

Kirishima will also enjoy being outside whether it’sjust going for walks or hikes, or more extensive stuff like camping or fishing,he can be rather easily entertained doing simple things like watching theclouds, playing in the rain, watching the stars for shooting stars.

He willalways be himself when he’s around you which he is easy going and positivethough he can have his insecure moments and doubts about himself or his dreamsbut quick to bounce back with some encouragement.

He is very kind and caringtowards you and will stick by your side and stay best friends with you throughout the years who will always have your back, any time you need a friend he’sthere for you without question and always up for the next adventure orchallenge.

☰ Headcanons between you two

■Enjoys the outdoors and he is very adventurous though he can be a bit clumsy attimes, but he’s not afraid to get dirty, so playing outside, in creeks, thewoods, playing in mud or catching bugs or animals he’s rather fearless and upfor just about anything. He’s also not afraid of spiders or bugs you don’t likeand will get rid of them for you.

■Always encouraging of your dreams and goals whether big or small, or short termor long-term goals, he is even willing to help you the best he can withanything. Even if there’s nothing he can do to actually help you he is veryencouraging because he believes in you and cheers you on to accomplish whateveryou put your mind to.

■Can have a pretty competitive side but just for fun and will never take it tooseriously, but likes making light competition out of things like exercising orplaying video games. He can be very confident in himself but at the same timehe is very humble and if you beat him, he’ll admit defeat and even praise youfor being so good at a game or such.

■Likes exercising just like you though he may take it more seriously than youbecause he really wants to be tough and strong which can make him go a bit overboard at times but won’t push you to. But he will be happy any time you want toexercise or even go for a walk or jog because he will like the company andsomeone to talk to while exercising.

■Defensive when someone upsets you or makes you mad, especially if he sees youcrying. He’ll have your back and stand up for you no matter the circumstancesor who he has to stand up to. He won’t let anyone hurt you mentally,emotionally or physically, you or any of his friends for that matter, no matterif he gets hurt or what the consequences could be.

■Doesn’t get mad very easily and keeps a very optimistic and positive attitude,which means he is not one to argue with you about anything even if you get mad orfeeling grumpy and snap at him, he can show an understanding side, wanting toknow what happened or why you’re angry.

☰ Other Close Friends

◑ Tsuyu Asui is supportive, friendly andcaring but she can be a bit more reserved and has a harder to expressingherself or how she feels, which can also make it harder for her to stand up topeople. That doesn’t mean she won’t have your back when push comes to shove butshe can struggle with it a bit, because she can be afraid of confronting othersand it can make her very nervous or even cry depending on the situation.

Butshe will always intervene if someone is criticizing you or teasing you, becauseshe won’t let anyone give you a hard time. She is very supportive andcomforting if you are having a bad day and will do everything, she can to cheeryou up and make your day better, even if she may panic a little not knowingexactly what to say or do right away.

She absolutely loves being outdoorsespecially doing anything that involves water, so she will really enjoy goingto the beach, water parks or even just playing outside in a pond or creek. She doestend to prefer more relaxed and laid-back activities and isn’t very competitiveat all unless you try to spur on some friendly competition, just hanging out atyour house or hers she’s very happy with and will like playing games orwatching videos such as the try not to laugh videos.

She won’t like scarythings especially scary movies or games and like you she won’t like jumpscares, she highly prefers happy fantasy or adventure type games or shows. Shetries her best to be positive and optimistic but can have her doubts and lowself esteem at times, but always tries to do better and she is a very loyal friendwho will stick by you through all ups and downs.

◑ Mina Ashido is enthusiastic, positive andreally encourages you with everything you do, she is very outgoing and adventurousand likes trying new things. Trying new foods, restaurants, playing new boardgames or video games, she easily shares interests with you and can surprise youwith things she knows you like or are a hobby of yours.

Such as coming overwith a new video game or a new puzzle or even new art supplies she wants to tryout with you or thinks you’ll like. She does have a protective side and willjump in to protect or defend you from criticism or bullying, even though she canseem very brave when standing up to people she can be very nervous about doingit. And while she can have an easier time standing up for you or any of her friends,she can have a harder time standing up for herself and defending herself fromcriticism.

Even if she does get sad or upset, she tends to bounce back quicklyand will be back to her happy bubbly self in no time, especially if you canhelp cheer her up and make her laugh. She can have a habit of surprising or spoilingyou with stuff because she is very giving and caring, meaning if she goessomewhere without you, she’s likely to bring you back a present, anything froma stuffed animal, t-shirt, key-chain, hair ornament, bracelet, necklace orcandy.

She is also very thoughtful when it comes to holidays and especiallyyour birthday and will make a big ordeal over your birthday every year, if shemakes snacks, desserts or cookies or things like that she’ll always save somefor you, even making special ones for you. She will like spending time with youand just hanging out at each other’s houses and going on trips with you like tothe beach or to an amusement park, but she can genuinely be happy and enthusiasticwith nearly anything the two of you do.

#My Hero Academia #Boku no hero academia #MHA #BNHA #Match up #Kirishima #Eijiro Kirishima #Mina Ashido #Tsuyu Asui #Match ups #MHA Match up #headcanons

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masterserris · 6 years ago

Text

all versions of mysterio are feral bastards, at least a little bit. dramatic and chaotic and cunning and damn dangerous despite just being a Guy. mysterio’s real powers are his words and psychological warfare.

but not completely evil either. jerks for sure but even still they aren’t ya know... in-human. case and point: Ends of the Earth. p much all mysterio’s i’ve seen do this shit

more spoilers under cut

like gyllenbeck didnt wanna kill parker at all. sure he always had planned to kill nick fury and maybe some civilians would get hurt in his illusion shit to sell it being real, but he really didnt wanna drag peter into it

peter finding the truth put himself and others in danger.

from a villain perspective, ya gotta tie up loose ends. mysterio was very on-point looking for those little details and possible issues and trying to deal with them

case in point: the trippy mindfuck illusion scene to get rid of parker and the evidence. also the final scene when he notices the issue with the drones RIGHT away.

he’s smart. he dont fuck around. he has plans for plans. i dont think he’s dead. he honestly shouldnt be. if marvel says he’s dead then they are lying cowards imo lol

yeah he’s a huge jerk for tryina kill mj, ned, and all the people who know his secret but it makes sense and it isnt done just to be evil.

------------

but like what floors me is that mysterio really could have been a hero with all that tech. he was gonna be a hero. he just did it. badly. in a very dangerous way.

if he’d have just let his grudges go, just talked it out, he could have used all that shit to fight real villains. it worked stupid good against peter. only by a fluke did he even figure out it was fake

sure plenty of other people could have figured out it was fake. but like. he coulda really used that tech to help people more. just own it man.

deadass you wanted your holograms to change the world and you could have!! but ya let your anger/grudges get in the way. and that is something mysterio always struggles with honestly...

so yeah really good stuff. very much like comic mysterio to a letter except with a bit of a backstory change (that still hits all the necessary beats) and he doesnt seem to have actual fear gas/chemicals/robot doubles (yet). only holograms, projectors, and drones.

love the meta joke that he’s wearing a vfx suit lmao. but maybe i would have liked to see him wear the mysterio suit more instead of only holograms/a few real scenes with him wearing it but it makes sense he can’t. irl it’s a really heavy and restrictive suit.

but he still wore a bubble on his head so mad respecc

PS: even tho hydro man and ESP molten man were fake like i thought they were, they looked cool af. esp when molten man kept growning it was p epic. thanks quentin.

ANYWAYS MYSTERIO IS 12/10 AND HE BETTER NOT BE ACTUALLY DEAD OR IM GONNA RIOT.

he really is alive, i think the post credit wasnt meant by the creators to be ambiguous at all. like that’s proof enough that he’s still out there, imo

it’s he’s really dead and everything from now on is just a projection of him then that’s just disappointing. ugh. we’ll see if gyllenhaal wants/gets casted for another marvel movie i guess. he seemed to like the role a lot so there’s that.

“people will believe anything” as he dies. even believe he’s dead? idk man i just feel like he’s exactly the character to fake his death this well. but it’s it’s just his crew pretending to be mysterio now? bah.

let beck live 2k19. it’s really up in the air, we’ll see.

edit: i suppose one of the funniest things was that Mysterio is Right.

tony left these glasses of Doom to a kid. the world listened to tony. he had issues. (i’ll defend tony but later ok. tony made enemies a lot)

and people were gonna listen to a “hormonal teenager”

he’s right to be pissed af!! valid!! not so valid in.. ya know killing people but yeah

he was mad that the glasses werent given to the defense force. like hell he made it sound like that would have been ok in his book. he wanted people with the credentials and experience to be given the respect the deserve in the end

when he’s thanking his crew he shows this to a letter. just like comic mysterio. comic mysterio was pissed he wasn’t getting the credit he deserved

gyllenbeck is mad af bc tony pissed all over his entire life. like DAMN. DAMN.

tony ruined everything for him no wonder he’s pissed. kinda funny tho that mysterio waited until tony was dead to take revenge. not surprising, iron man scared the piss outta people like vulture. lesser, more regular human villains. i mean who wouldn’t be? you’d literally have to be thanos to be not worried about stark and even THEN thanos knew about him. just saying

anyways that trippy mindfuck scene was my absolute fav bc that’s what mysterio is all about and it’s everything i wanted. perhaps i wouldve wanted more but lets not get greedy

also for once mysterio aint a thief. if anything he’s the victim of tony stealing/messing up his life’s work. mysterio aint robbing a bank yo

sure, he kinda tricked peter into giving him the glasses, and it may have partly been for the power trip? but also i think he deadass thought it was safer in his hands than a KID who literally almost killed his friends a few hours earlier with it on accident so he’s not wrong. again.

mysterio for how much of a feral, chaotic, terrifying, cunning, jerk that he was? he was the “hero” after all in the story. or at least the protagonist, kinda like infinity war thanos. he had a goal that would wake people up to the bullshit all around them and put power in the hands who made it possible in the first place. the people who know what they’re doing.

would beck have been a villain after he won? world domination? i dont think so. i think he would havent been great with it, but i dont doubt he had decent intentions SOMEWHERE in his heart.

but mainly revenge. let’s be honest. he was pissed af and rightly so.

ANYWAYS im rambling about a bubble head so.

^^I can’t believe gyllenbeck literally has this energy after peter figures out he’s a faker. literally has this chaotic, feral energy. dead ass calls him gullible and hits him with a TRAIN. like fuck dude mad respecc for being just a guy and fuckin with a superhero so bad. really amazing portrayal of beck.

just. let beck be still alive. it would be a waste. he’s such a tricky person, it’s almost too easy for him to fake that shit. but maybe they really did kill him. hng. we’ll see in the next spiderman movie or another marvel film.

ALSO ALSO:

good au ending where tony lived and mysterio was never fired but legit became a hero bc he totally could have done so

he's got raw talent and cunning. i mean tony was just a guy with a brain too so yeah

good ending au.

#mysterio #far from home #spoilers #spider-man: far from home #ffh #ffh spoilers #far from home spoilers #spiderman far from home spoilers #the beauty of mysterio's complex character was well translated into the movie is all #also the kindest mysterio so far is Ultimate Spider-Man Mysterio (the cartoon)#like he only gets 1 episode that he's barely in but like. he deadass is retired and just ends up being a nice dad to his kiddo.#he's literally a sweetie and just wants to live a calm life. the closing shot is him with parker and his daughter laughing together DAMN #my heartttt. he's just and older dad who is calmed down. babeyy

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garethito · 6 years ago

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You know... I've been meaning to ask you about this for a while, and yesterday's tag thing that you did with those Bale gifs only like... fueled? My curiosity? Lol, if that makes sense. Could you like... relive? The Champions League final from this year for us? Like, your perspective on it? Or maybe even the actual whole day of the final? Sorry, God, I know this is weird, but I just love how you tell stories from your life! I have seen you do it with some other anons once!

First of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this like, you guys always send me such interesting questions and Im so??? and OMG no this is not weird stop this is such a wonderful question to ask!! And omg you liked how I told the stories to those anons that is so sweet thank you so muchhhhh ❤️❤️💝❤️💘💘💞💞💘

But also this is making me really emotional I dont think I will be able to write this without tearing up but here we go!!! I was at school today and we had a special day so we didnt make any classes, so I had time to formulate an answer to this, and to complete it at home 💞

Quick WARNING?? Yes I am perfectly aware of how crazy and overdramatic this whole story sounds, but the thing is that this is how I truly feel about this day in my life. So yeah lol. Football is basically my life!

I would like to start this by saying that the day of the 26th of May 2018 is the most important day of my entire life as a football fan. There is nothing that could even come close to this. Absolutely nothing. Never in my life have I cried like in that night. Never. Absolutely never. I have looked at my life as a person, at my hardest times, when I cried a lot, but not even that can even slightly compare to the amount of crying that I have done on that glorious day of May 7 months ago. When I say crying, though, I dont actually mean crying, no. I mean violently sobbing, screaming at the top of my lungs, shaking and feeling numb. But in the best way possible, the happiest tears that I ever shedded.

My actual perspective, like you said, though, starts from the 2nd of May, a day after our semi-final second leg against Bayern. From that day, until the 26th, my mind, my body, my soul only thought about the final. I could not even focus on the Clasico on the 6th, neither on the last La Liga match. I was so fucking nervous, words are not sufficient to describe….. At least once every 2-3 days I would go to the bathroom with severe stomach aches and sit there until I would try to calm myself down so that my grandmother wouldnt get worried. I thank God, the Universe, or whoever you think invented life for the fact that highschool had nothing special during that period, just a few tests, that I got the best grades on, because had there been something big, I would have surely failed. That was a nightmare. Just think about it. Horrible La Liga season, then those fucking shaky as fuck second leg matches against Juve AND Bayern. I was literally so pessimistic that I am scaring myself right now thinking about it. All these bad scenarios played through my head ”What if Zizou loses his job? What if this will be the start of our downfall? What if this is the last Champions League final we will play? What if, what if, what if….”. I always tried to tell my brain how stupid I was, that we are Real Madrid and that we will win, like we always do, that we are the best fucking team in the Universe and that nobody even comes close to being like us. But its like these voices in my head wouldnt stop, it was so scary.

Come 25th of May I was an actual lifeless corpse. No matter how much I tried to call my best friend, who was in Bulgaria at that time, and telling her that I cant take this anymore, and her telling me that its going to be okay like it always is, that she doesnt really know my team well but she knows we will win, no matter how much of that was happening, I couldnt fucking stop being nervous and constantly thinking about this match.

On the morning of the 26th I woke up with a severe headache at about 8:30-9 AM. The only things that I remember from that whole day are the constant empty feeling, the amount of times I listened to Hala Madrid Y Nada Mas and the amount of pictures, videos, promotional/support videos I saw and watched. I called my friend one last time and I told her that now I am optimistic, that we will win.

My whole emotional state was ruined, however, by Gareth not starting. I dont need to explain the whole February-May Gaz-Zizou situation because I think everyone knows it too well by now and what I fucking felt about it. I have never been so enraged in my entire life. After all he has done, still no place in the starting XI. Though, this is pretty much the only thing that has ever angered me about Zizou. I love that man too much, I dont think there will ever be a coach that will ever come close to him, a coach that I will ever love as much as I loved him, but this whole situation really, really angered me. As I said, not going to get into details, I think that is enough. Though, I tried to only focus on my hardly achieved positivity about the match.

The match started and my emotional state reached its lowest point. I couldnt take it anymore, I felt impossibly sick from being so nervous, I got the most severe migraine ever, my eyes were literally about to pop out ugh again, remembering that gives me chills. Dani got injured, and I got angry again, because he didnt deserve it, the World Cup was literally about to start like God give this man a break!!!

Halftime at 0-0, my optimism grew, believe it or not. I felt like we will have more urgency in the second half and that we will win this.

The second half came, with me just desperately hoping for a goal. Because we were playing so well, we deserved a reward!! And it did come, with Benzemas goal, God I felt so relieved and happy. I have seen people saying that his goal was not good but? You literally take everything that is being offered to you in a Champions League final! He scored, he gave us a goal, we were 1-0 up, and I was literally screaming from joy, I was shaking so much and I was the proudest person alive. God, I love my team. Then, Liverpools equalizer came. I didnt think anything of it. I wouldnt get rid of my optimism. I was looking at my boys and I knew we would win.

And Oh My God, here we fucking go.

Minute 61. Gareth comes on. I was so grateful that he at least got to play 30 minutes, I literally only wanted to see him. At that time, considering everything that was happening, I was already emotionally starting to prepare for his departure to another team. I was watching him in those moments, flashbacks through my mind of all the glorious times I got to see him, all of his goals, everything.

And then…

All of a sudden…

62:58

That moment. The moment in which my soul has definitely left my body. The most beautiful moment I have ever lived in watching football. The moment in which I was the proudest person alive. A moment I will never, ever, ever forget, for as long as I get to live. The moment I have literally seen history being made, right before my eyes. The moment in which I literally evaporated, left the Earth, idk how to explain this but I hope you understand me. My idol, that had suffered so much that season, scored a fucking bicycle kick in a FUCKING UCL FINAL. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. The happiest, most full of joy, best, most emotional moment. Ever. No exaggeration.

My perspective on this? Oh well, brace yourselves. If you think everything that I have written so far seems insane, get ready for this.

I was on my bed, watching the game, shaking. I saw the passes, beautiful passes, that ended up with Marcelo controling the ball (incredibly, as he always does, my Brazilian sunshine). I saw him swaying to the side, and then passing a high, aerial ball in the box. Gareth came up to meet it, with… a scissor kick. That he scored. I literally fucking exploded like there is no other word. I jumped off my fucking bed and I ran literally across the house and came back, making the most inhuman noises ever I swear. I came back to my bedroom and I collapsed on the floor and I literally started fucking bawling my eyes out, and even that seems like an understatement. Screaming at the top of my lungs, bawling my eyes out, literally all of it happening on the floor. My grandmother literally came in and she thought something happened to me, but then I just pointed to the screen and she understood lmao. And from that point onward I cannot say anything anymore, because I dont remember anything else but me on the floor, literally. After like 15 minutes I hardly even managed to get back on the bed, and guess what?

82:41

AGAIN.

???? I dont know what to say anymore. Like he literally toyed with everyone that night, he didnt care about anything. Again, with a pass from Marcelo, he literally goes from FAR FAR FAR away and he shoots and… scores?? How much do you think my poor fragile self can handle? Like, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Except for bawling your eyes out even more, if thats even possible? Its been 7 months and I still dont have words for what happened that night, like 2 goals ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? LIKE DO YOU UNDERSTAND I WAS LITERALLY DEAD LIKE ??? I LOST EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MY SANITY THAT NIGHT. 2 goals, 2 goals in 20 minutes, he was about to get a fucking hattrick. A fucking HATTRICK IN HALF AN HOUR, but Karius unfortunately stopped that shot.

The match ended and… I dont remember anything other than barely seeing the screen, I literally had a blurred vision.

We fucking won it. We DID IT. THE DECIMOTERCERA WAS OURS.

In the moment in which Sergio lifted it I… I dont have words, did I go into another Universe, did I ascend, did my soul leave my body I dont even know but what I do know is that I spent the rest of the night, up until like 6AM, crying my heart out. And this is what I mean by ”I have never cried so much in my entire life”. Like I have never spent a whole night crying.

I went to bed at like 6:30, woke up at like.. 10?? I think you can imagine how I woke up, I literally felt like I was going to die but I spent the rest of the day catching up on everything that happened the entire night.

And then, of course, the celebrations, Cibeles, Bernabeu… of course your sensitive girl bawled her eyes out again lol!

Every day ever since it happened, I have always been thinking about this day. About all of it. No point in counting how many times I rewatched the goals lol! But I think you can imagine haha 💘

So yeah, this is pretty much it DSLKFDKJFKDFJKDFK. The story about my best ever day of watching football I made it unecessarily long (Im so sorry). I think the only conclusion that I can get from this is Hala Madrid Y Gareth Y Nada Mas lol! 💘💘

#asks #Anonymous #gareth bale #real madrid

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magnaflourious-nerdity · 6 years ago

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B99 and The Good Place

YES. THANK YOU!!!! I LOVE THE GOOD PLACE AND BROOKLYN 99 SO MUCH. AND NOBODY EVER WANTS TO TALK TO/WITH ME ABOUT TGP. I made my friend watch it with me just so I could talk about it with someone lol. Also because it's just a genuinely good show. (Next up I'm gonna make her finish iZombie with me too, haha.)SO! For B99Favorite Main Character:Its gotta be either Rosa or Jake. You know I'm in love with both Andy Samburg and Stephanie Beatriz. (especially Stephanie Beatriz, *dreamy sigh*)Fun fact! My favorite side character is Kevin. Whether it's in B99, The Good Place, or on the Thrilling Adventure Hour, I love the deadpan humor of Marc Evan Jackson. He is, after all, a naughty bitch ;p. Favorite Female Character:Oh, for sure this goes to Rosa Diaz. I love her so much and Stephanie Beatriz plays her to absolute perfection. it's so cool to be able to see such a badass lady cop on TV, who both plays to and subverts the typical Strong Silent Badass™ trope. Rosa is from a cooler world than any of us.OTP:I know it's a boring answer, but it's gotta be Jake and Amy. From the jump their relationship was built on mutual (if, admittedly at first, somewhat begrudging) respect and trust. They were friends, which is so rewarding to see. There have been couples like that on TV before, but usually it's all a lot of 'will they, wont they- which can be fun too if done right, like seasons 1 and 2 did -but it's refreshing to see it played in such a different way. Jake just straight up told her and didn't expect anything to come from it. He didn't pressure her to like him back and he didn't even hate on Teddy (until he got all weird and creepy in later seasons, and even then he was polite) while he was dating her. He respects her and treats her well and I will forever remember the scene where he tells everyone why/how he decided to propose to her, it was perfect and truely sweet. Jake and Amy make each other better. He helped her to loosen up a little and compromise without getting rid of her take- charge, eager-to-please attitude or her independance, and in turn she made him into a (slightly) more mature person. Amy helped turn Jake into a (somewhat) functional adult, but she didn't force him to lose his fun, childish side either. They genuinely care for each other in a way that you dont often get to see on TV between Het Couples. Like the episode where Amy takes the Sargent's exam and Jake says he always knew Amy would be his boss one day? HE RESPECTS HER SO MUCH. Almost any other sitcom would have Jake's arc for that episode be about him feeling insecure at the thought of his future wife being his boss, but B99 didn't and I love them for it. Their love is so sweet and believable. I even teared up a little during the wedding scene because I'm an absolute sap like that. I also really, really like the chemistry between Rosa and her potential new girlfriend Alicia (as played by the also amazingly beautiful and talented Gina Rodriguez.) They had immediate chemistry- which I'm huge on -and Alicia seems like a genuinely cool and sweet woman. Anyone who can make Rosa lose her composure in front of people she cares about has gotta be something special. I'm hoping in the next season NBC will let them bring Gina Rodriguez back and she and Rosa will become TV's gayest and most dynamic power couple. That would be pretty sweet. Sorry that this has turned into Rosa and Jake fest. But if it helps, Holt and Kevin are definitely couple goals too and I'm glad Kevin'sgetting so much more screen time. I agree with Jake: I also want them to be my two gay dads. Not that I dont love my dad, I'm just welcoming in the extra role models, lol. Lord k ow I probably need it.NoTP:I love that the show steered away from it, because I wasn't really much a fan of the Boyle/Diaz Dynamic of season 1. But, I do honestly love them as bros together. It's another trope the show subverts since Charles is the one who's super in touch with his emotions and helps out Rosa in her relationships when she has trouble expressing hers. I just... I really love relation/friendships built on trust and respect. It's my jam.Favorite Other Pairings:I know she's not your fave but I do like Gina and Rosa together, they have a fun, snarky vibe together and Gina does genuinely care for Rosa and respect her opinions, way more than she does with most other people. Except maybe Holt. Also Amy and Rosa. I love episodes where the two of them team up together. Basically, what I'm saying here is that I just want Rosa to date ALL the girls on the show, haha.Least Favorite Character:I hate to say it, but I want a huge fan of Pimento? Like, he was dangerous and rude and I know he went through a lot of trauma undercover, but dude needed some help, and I mean just that, really. He needs to be in therapy for his PTSD because it's affecting his relationships and his whole life.I'm not too big a fan of Hitchcock either, just because like... Okay, so, Scully is dumb and occasionally rude, but at least he tries to be nice most of the time and even tries to contribute; Hitchcock is... kind of a jerk most of the time? I know that's the point, but still... like, fix yourself my dude.Also, I do really love to hate The Vulture. He's insufferable, but his dynamic with the team and their hate for him is so much fun to watch. Of course when I say least favorite, I still like these characters, it's just that if I had to pick, it would be these three.Favorite Season/Episode:I actually really like this past season a lot. Like, so much happened! ROSA CAME OUT! JAKE AND AMY GOT MARRIED! HOLT AND KEVIN GOT QUALITY SCREEN TIME AS A COUPLE! It was pretty amazing.I love the episode where Rosa came out to her parents. It was so sweet ♡ and I think it's really important that it ended in such a medium place. Like, that happens to people sometimes other TV shows, sometimes parents dont either accept you wholeheartedly or kick you out and denounce you. Sometimes, you just get stuck in a crappy in between place (note: not deflection btw, my parents are cool with my identity, but I has happened to people I know and it sucks watching them try and get through it without sacrificing the relationship between them and their parent[s]). And we never get to see that because TV likes to focus on the extremes. And Rosa found out that you can find your own family if you need too. Which, as you know, I am always up for in my media. Found family tropes for everyone!Who Would I Date:I mean... look how many times the words Jake and Rosa have come up in this post. In your heart of hearts you know the answer to this question.Rosa (whom I have to separate from her actress because I love them both, and for different reasons) would be a little hard to date for me, just because she's so closed off and sometimes ya girl needs some validation of affection. But she's so...so cool. She does the right thing, even if she'd rather hit the problem in the face with an axe, and I know she's a police officer but it still counts, damnit. She has all these layers to her, like the dancing and the gymnastics and stuff. She doesn't reject traditional femininity, it just doesn't appeal to her. Also I bet she'd make anyone feel hella safe. She's... honestly the best word I can come up with right now is dreamy. Rosa Diaz is a Dreamboat with a capital D, and I'm sorry, but if you dont think so you're wrong.Jake is kind of the polar opposite. The only thing I would see becoming a hypothetical issue in the hypothetical relationship is that I can also be immature and messy and garbage at being an adult. We'd be too similar and it wouldn't help anyone, unlike with Jake and Amy. But he's so sweet and caring and funny. He's a genuinely great guy who respects everyone who deserves it, and sometimes even people who don't. Plus he's definitely a good cuddler and I like being the big spoon, so that would work out well for us.----------------------As for The Good Place:(WARNING! Spoilers for The Good Place are below, so if you're asking me but haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend skipping this until you do watch it, because I don't want to spoil anything for you. It's that good.Favorite Main Character:How, actually, do you choose on this? How?!? I love them all so much, truly. Chidi is a nervous smol (though also very tol) beanpole. Eleanor is always a Mood™ and she shows so much growth over the course of just 2 seasons (same with Michael, but that'smore over the course of 1 season. I'llgive him a pass though because it was entertaining as hell when he finally realized the concept of mortality). Jason became so much more lovable and sweet in season 2. Janet is my favorite omniscient NonBinary robot ever. And Tahani is, to quote Eleanor directly, "A sexy, tan rapunzel. The dream." Plus, she really knows how to go all out with something, which is fun. I loved how into her role as Rhonda Mumps she got. Plus, watching her tell off her parents was so good.I think I'm gonna have to go with Either Chidi Eleanor or Janet. That's as much as I can narrow it down though, because I am weak.Favorite Female Character: Well, since Janet is not a girl, but instead- as mentioned above -an omniscient NonBinary robot person, I'll go with Eleanor. I think I just really relate to her character. Which means I should probably shape up my life, lol. But it's so nice to see a smart, funny, unladylike and kinda sleazy character, who ultimately has that heart of gold and a desire for self-improvement played like this by a woman as a main character. She's like the likeable, morally gray sidekick in so many romcoms, but she gets to be the focus for once. I dig it. Also, I tend to flock towards bi-coded characters. Have you seen Eleanor's collection of flannels (Janet could literally get her anything to wear, but mah girl craves that bi aesthetic)? Any of her interactions with Tahani? That girl is bi af, if not pan. OTP:Oh, for sure it's Teleanor (Elhani?). Like, the chemistry between Jameela Jamil and Kristen Bell is so thick. They're so good together! And I swear if I dont get a flashback to attempt #218 at some point I will cry. 2nd OTP is Chidi/Eleanor because a) they're super cute together, B) they make each other better, and C) LOOK MA, ITS AN INTERRACIAL COUPLE AS THE MAIN FOCUS OF A SITCOM WHERE THE POC IS A DUDE! I've heard tell of it in legends but never seen it before in real life! I joke, but seriously, it is neat to see.Runner up: J² (aka Janet & Jason). What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute, oddball couples who shouldn't work but ultimately do.NoTP:I wasn't very keen on Tahani/Jason. Like, it was a fun distraction, and it did lead to the scene where Tahani tells her parents she ate a cheeto, and it also gave us some much needed Janet screen time/character arc stuff, but they just didn't work for me as a couple. I think, though, that that was kind of the point? Like, they needed to make that mutual mistake together so they could get to where they needed to be. Jason grew up a bit and learned to problem solve and Tahani gained confidence and the personal growth she needed to tell off her douchey parents.Favorite Other Pairings: Is it weird to say Shawn/Michael? I feel like it is, but I would still read it. Also maybe Janet/Eleanor. That could be fun.Least Favorite Character:This is slightly less tough than the questions above, but if it came down to it and I had to pick, I'd probably say it's pretty much just amounts to a few of the characters that the show designed for me to hate.Figuratively, everyone in Tahani's family is a garbage human being. And not in like, the fun, likeable way that say Eleanor or Jason were 'garbage people,' but in the awful, 'I would gladly punch you in the face' kind of way instead. Same goes for Eleanor's parents and her roommates (Though the one who remained her friend after she switched up everything in the season finale was okish in S2, what little I saw of her). It's super weird, but I actually do like the demons for the most part. Shawn is amazing to watch, which I, in large part, chalk up to Marc Evan Jackson's performance. And I even liked Vicky and Trevor, in that same, The Vulture from B99 sort of way. So literal demons are more likeable than the characters mentioned above, which should tell you something.Favorite Season/Episode:Season 1 was amazing and that first Cliffhanger twist was wild and awesome and I didn't figure it out until about 30 seconds before Eleanor did because it was so good, but it wasn't just a twist for the sake of it either, like, the season was built around it and makes sense with it, which is really cool to see in a sitcom. HOWEVER, all things being equal and with that said, Season 2 was EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW?!?! they ditched the formula and changed it all up! It's a sitcom! They never do that! And they only spent like what, 1 to 2ish episodes replaying the new attempts? And they focused on some of the Bad Place characters too while they were doing it, so it didn't get boring. That could have so easily happened too, if it hadn't been handled as well as it was by the writers. But it was handled well and they kept changing things up and giving us more info on the characters lives and their deaths and all that good juicy character development stuff I love so much and it was so, so worth watching.Episode wise, season two had my favorite episodes too, starting with the big neighborhood-ending party and all the way up to the finale (the episodes before then were also great, obviously, but that run towards the end had me captivated so thoroughly I almost called in sick to work to finish them, haha.)The stuff where they infiltrate The Bad Place was golden. If I had, had, had to pick a single episode... yeah, nope, I'm still not able to because it comes up a tie between the one where they leave the neighborhood behind or the finale. There was so much good character stuff, and lots of little found family type moments and Mindy even got a little bit of a reward at the end! (Side note: something deep inside of me loves Mindy St. Claire so much and wishes I could have more of her confidence and fuck it attitude). The demons were hilarious and Judge Gen was a delight to watch! This show is just so good, it makes me want to cry a little. Just a bit. I'm so excited for season 3!! Less than a month left yeah! ♡Who Would I Date:It would probably come down to either Janet, or Eleanor. Tahani has potential, but she's too...aristocratic to actually date for me, I think. Chidi would be an amazing partner, but I feel like we're both such anxious people that it would quickly become an unmanageable tornado of stress and bad decision making, lol.Janet would be cool because she's weird and fun and chipper and so sweet, plus she has all the knowledge in the universe which is neat. I do love a smart cookie. And with Janet since I'm more demi/ace-ish and since she doesn't have sex parts, that would take a weight off my mind I think. So check off 'would date a self-aware, omniscient robot' on my list of weird character traits.Eleanor would also be a good candidate too because she's relatively down to earth and laid back, as well as being fun and relatable and just... kind of a cool chick. Plus, I know deep down she actually does care about things and is a decent human being, which is sort of a must in a partner, lol. The only drawback is that we might make each other worse because we'd probably let each other get away with a lot, so it might be somewhat counterproductive to the point of the show, haha. ----------------------Thank you so much for asking these! And for letting me rant and rave over my two favorite sitcoms in what has, apparently, turned out to be a fucking essay on 'Things I love about Brooklyn 99 and The Good Place'. Sorry I got so verbose about it. I'm also sorry that I, as a person, always fail so completely at making choices and narrowing things down, lol. But this was fun! Hopefully you've seen TGP, I'd absolutely hate, hate, hate to spoil such an excellent and surprising show for someone. Assuming you have, I'm gonna run over and ask you about this one too. In fact consider this an open invitation: if you need someone to talk to about B99 or TGP, consider me your gal!

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