#well dads
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stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle
#🐉#im not gonna send either of them to my dad because i value my peace and safety but i really was tempted by the second one#'why do you have to send a card to your dad i thought you hated that guy' well the thing is one time i forgot#when i was like. ten. and his reaction was not something i ever want to relive.
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I can behave normally around books
#shitpost#anyway guess who brought home 24 new books today?#if you guessed me. well. you would be correct#in my defense I only bought 5#for a combined total of usd#where’d the number go. it was 17 usd#the rest were from me going through what my dad was getting rid of for space and claiming it for myself#but either way#24 in one day is a personal record I think#also I do fully intend to read all of these it’s not hoarding for hoardings sake
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my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.
it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.
it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords
#this post was inspired by me using a screwdriver to take the broiler off the wall because the warm water stopped working#while my dad went well there is only cables in there. who are we if we dont find our ways around some cables#damn right!!!!
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So, I really love the selection of Tim Walz for VP and it’s taken me a moment to articulate why. I mean, obviously, Dem bonafides, he’s sharp, he’s funny, etc etc. But everyone in the Veepstakes fits that bill, Harris was spoiled for good choices.
But Walz offers something that the other men in contention don’t that I think will be incredibly useful in combating Trumpism.
He offers an example and an off ramp to the section of men who felt like they were Republicans by default, and so support Trump by default. There are a lot of Trump voters who are full on obsessive, but that’s not who we’re talking to. We’re talking to folks who grew up in Republican areas, or felt their hobbies didn’t line up with who a Democrat was, or didn’t feel represented by their image of a Democrat. You want to see it so you can be it, you know? Which is why Harris is so inspirational to a lot of segments of folks, but Walz is too.
He served in the military. He went to a state college. He’s your favorite teacher from your public high school. He’s your football coach who actually cared if you were passing your math class. He’s the guy you looked up to at school when your family sucked but this guy cared, and he helped you get out and make something of yourself.
He’s the neighbor who helps you jump your car. He’s your uncle who takes you hunting. He’s your Dad who loves teasing you at the Stare Fair. He’s you when he makes a mistake like his DUI and takes responsibility for it, and when he has the chance makes sure other can come back from similar mistakes. He’s you when you and your wife want so badly to be parents and IVF gives you the family you wanted. He’s you when he says ‘it had to be me’ and used his standing and power to protect vulnerable kids sponsoring the GSA at his school.
He gives the real life example to these men that they can be that football, fishing, hunting family man who wants to provide for his family, be that powerful, respected member of the community and use that power to feed kids in school. That it’s normal to enthusiastically work for a boss like Harris. That yeah those other guys are fucking weirdos, and you’re not a weirdo, are you?
That there’s a place in the Democratic Party for them. That they don’t have to default to being fucking weird.
I hope those guys see this example of masculinity and go… yeah, that’s me. That’s who I’m gonna be.
#us politics#tim walz#I think Harris made an excellent selection#who will support her and her agenda#and gives us some non-law school and non-Ivy rep that’s desperately needed#but his brand of masculinity I think is gonna be attractive to white men who don’t like being grouped with weirdos#and white women in their 50s & 60s who look at him and see their Dad whome they miss#Harris chose well
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Anyways what kind of music do you think Eri listens to
#UGH I ADORE MY DAUGHTER#she’s my little rockstar living her best life >:(#all of class A and B as well as the big three have such a soft spot for her and would definitely show up to any music event she performs at#aizawa is a proud dad and can’t believe his little girl is all grown up :(#I also headcanon that Eri sings songs that hint to bkdk to GET IT TOGETHER because she loves her bigger brothers and wants them to be happy#Eri believes in love and Kota thinks Bakugou is a lame old geezer who won’t do anything about lmao#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#my art#mha#bnha fanart#boku no hero academia fanart#my hero academia fanart#eri fanart#eri#Kota and eri#Kota#mha 403#bkdk#bakudeku#eri chan#Kota Izumi
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I'm talking bags of chips, fruit, bottled drinks, things like that
#atlas entry#poll#tumblr poll#my dad does this all the time and it drives me up a wall#I'm like abba you can't eat that you haven't paid for it yet#and he says well I'm going to
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Dear Big Brother
kind of a sequel to this comic
#FINALLY FINISHED IT. THIS HAS BEEN SITTING UNFINISHED FOR ALMOST A FUCKING YEAR#and of course i get around to it right after making that stupid masterpost. well there's another one to add i guess#anyway. this was originally now that you're gone part 2. basically aryll's counterpart to their dad's perspective#botw#loz#skribbles#i will say ignoring this for so long was good actually because it confirmed my suspicions that my pen pressure no longer works#the way it used to. so if you see any weird inconsistencies between panels or pages it's not me it's my fucking tech#for some reason i need WAY more pressure than i used to to get the same level of opacity in sai which is. not great for my hands#but whatever ive gotten used to it by now. ignore the inconsistencies in this comic its fine
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bee shows off his knife hands to optimus
#transformers one#transformers#optimus prime#b 127#bumblebee#elita one#their training session did not end well#elita is going to scold both of them so hard#optimus elita bee family to me is just bee going 'dad can i do this' and optimus going 'ask elita' and elita going 'no'
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tim with a knife in his hands: damian, step away from the computer
damian reading superbat fanfiction on tim’s personal laptop: i wanted to play roblox, but this is adequate writing, are you in need of a beta reader by chance?
#damian: i made art as well#tim: i don’t know how i feel about you drawing mild nudity of our dad and his friends#damian; grow a pair - a bicep is not nudity - and besides you wrote it#dc#tim drake#damian wayne#bruce wayne#clark kent#red robin#robin#batman#superman#batfam#batbros#superbat
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Prompt:
Brucie Wayne gets into a mild accident in public (read-got hit by a car). And Batman would just walk it off (“it’s barely a bruise”), but Brucie obviously… can’t.
So he has to suffer the ordeal of having civilians call paramedics, getting fussed over, and having-
Having his dead son get into the back of the ambulance with him.
Oh- oh no. He must have hit his head worse than he thought. He thought he was past this…
#((Jason is the one who hit him with the car))#(((but it truly was an accident)))#((((and now his elaborate revenge plans got derailed because OMG I HIT MY DAD WITH A CAR))))#Brucie gets to blubber and cry about his son in a way Batman isn’t allowed to#meanwhile Jason: omg pls shut up PLS I’m BEGGING you just die already#Bruce: anything for you 🥹#Jason: …. hold on no I didn’t mean that B do NOT fall asleep on me right now#some more fake hallucinations#but nobody thinks it’s a hallucination except Bruce#also: Wayne Son Back From The Dead!? more on page two!#((Jason takes his revenge by trying to boot Tim from the family and realizing he’s not even part of it which—))#((is anybody taking care of that raccoon? well Jason is now))))#prompts#crack au#fanfiction#inspiration#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#robin#tim drake#red hood#Batdad#Brucie wayne
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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classic dad joke
#one piece#roronoa zoro#chopper#deeco art#idk if this is a well-known dad joke but it is in my place#probably sounds better in indonesian#'ikut ayah yuk' 'ayoo mau kemana' 'ke wc'#its zoro and chopper's silly time :)#dont worry about zoro's swords that just magically disappeared on the last panel
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As much as I love angst I think it would be funny if he just didnt give af
#Hazel you cant just ask people if they have a dead mom#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fop#fairly oddparents a new wish#headcanon#fop hazel#hazel wells#fop dev#dev dimmadome#I think he has mildly positive associations with it tbh#He asked where babies came from and his dad actually took him aside and explained how he was super special and important#and better than everyone else because he was a clone and talked him through the whole cloning process very excitedly#(Dev did not understand a word of it but it was probably the most positive interaction he'd ever had with his dad)#later Dev came back and asked where normal kids come from and he got uncomfy and made an Au-Pair explain#other than that Dev has basically no thoughts on being a clone its just a fact to him.#Actually thinking about it now that could be a really dark explanation for why his real name is Development#I mean you dont just get cloning right on the first try#and nobody wants to name and get attached something that might just fall over dead any minute#HAHA anway angst over teehee :3#fop nature au#<-for organization since this HC applies to it too
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Michael Afton teaches Vanessa the first rule of FNAF
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#michael afton#fnaf vanessa#vanessa afton#william afton#springtrap#spring bonnie#fnaf#sister location#fnaf 3#fnaf movie#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#Vanessa gonna learn it’s real hard to get rid of her dad actually#Michael knows#Michael knows all too well how much William can’t die#he’ll help Vanessa though to get rid of him 🙏🏾
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If threatening Vicky says how much Timmy meant to them, imagine the absolute beef they have with his parents 💔
#if crocker lost his hair I hc Timmy’s dad as a bald f*ck too bc he ABSOLUTELY deserves it#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fairly odd parents a new wish#fairly odd parents fanart#fairly odd parents wanda#fairly odd parents hazel#fairly odd parents cosmo#fairly odd parents timmy#the fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fop anw#fop anw wanda#fopanw#fop anw cosmo#fop fanart#fop cosmo#fop wanda#mr and mrs turner#hazel wells
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Forget Bruce Wayne. Give me Jim Gordon, the nosy neighbour who likes to make sure new-to-town Danny Nightingale is looking after himself, who enjoys inviting the 'kid' over to enjoy a meal while he goes on about his own daughter or gets Danny to open up about his life.
Give me Danny, oddly charmed and highly protective of this paternal figure who isn't actively trying to adopt him. Who likes to check in and make sure the man is actually resting when he gets injured on the job. Who, after many trials and errors, manages to cook a meal and bring it over instead of ordering takeout. Who has someone actively listening to him even if they don't actually understand every word out of Danny's mouth.
And everytime a Bat tries to come around Jim Gordon is on the roof with a broom, waving them off because this is his kid, Bruce! He called dibs!
#danny phantom#dc comics#batfam#barbara gordon#jim gordon#barbara has some interesting family dinners when danny comes over and has some of the wildest stories#and her dad just gives her a look and she cant investigate because he'd be disappointed#meanwhile jason is laughing everytime the broom comes out because the first time it happened batman actually left and hasnt come back#danny has no clue the bats are interested in him for various reasons#he just is glad to have such a nice neighbour while trying to settle into this new life#im gonna say this is a fenton parents didnt take it well universe#and danny still loves and cares for them but literally everyone else was up for murder after An Incident#so this was the compromise
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