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hoseoksluna · 6 months ago

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SMOKE, i. | myg

pairing: idol!yoongi x smoke!oc (ft. bangtan)

genre: angst

word count: 6.8k

summary: everything that begins also ends.

pinterest board: smoke / taglist: join

warnings: suicide ideation, yoongi has deep feelings that he hasn't felt in a long time, sexual innuendos, yoongi has brief dirty thoughts, alcohol consumption, talks of alcohol, social anxiety and feelings of anxiety in general, jungkook has mint hair, covid and the pandemic, talking to a dead loved one, jealousy, envy, anger, crying, yoongi's bad shoulder.

note: welcome to the brand new yoongi series! i can't believe this baby is alive and ready for you to read. i struggled with this a lot, since it's written in a way i've never tried before. yoongi's pov, first person—like what? i thought this chapter was pretty shitty as i didn't feel comfortable writing in this style, but i pushed through, felt like it was meant to be—which is why i need tons of your validation. i was also kinda sad today, so please send your love. :( fyi, jungkook may be a huge part of the beginning of this story, but this is not steam pt 2. jungkook won't be present as much later on. no polyamory here. *spoiler* he just brought oc to yoongi and then he will lovingly go away, dw. :) enjoy this first chapter, i can't wait for many more! kisses.

side note: happy bday to us! mwah.

It was a bang, what happened in our group.

A bomb that blew off in Jungkookie’s trembling hands when he shared the news. A decision that wasn’t really collectively discussed, not even privately with Namjoon—but an information that erupted among us as we sat in the lounge room of the venue, refreshing ourselves with snacks and drinks after the tough soundcheck we had. I had a bottle of Hennessy in my hands myself, about to pour myself some liquid courage in order to chase away the bitter ire I had swirling in my veins, but hearing his words made me forget about the nectar right away.

He was bringing along a female friend for the tour.

The ire turned sour in my bloodstream.

He must’ve lost his mind.

And what’s worse, I was the only one who looked at him as if he were a lunatic. The members squealed and hollered, clapping their hands, shouting different variations of words of, “Jungkookie got a girlfriend!” that made him blush so profusely that he wasn’t able to reciprocate any of our eye contact.

Especially not mine.

I was fuming, taking breaths that hurt my lungs. The bottle of liquid courage damn nearly broke, but I didn’t feel a thing. How could I—when amidst the ruckus and the soft smiles of our staff my feelings parted and melted into a crossroad that I began to stand in the middle of.

One way led to selfishness, the other to the very polar opposite of it.

Jungkook didn’t deal with the pandemic well. His skin was invariably lined with a certain sensitivity towards forlornness and when the mandate forced upon him a pressure of being abandoned—by us and by his long time flirt that was the driving force behind his creativity, besides Army themselves—he didn’t take it well. Crawled inside himself, even deeper within when our management canceled our Map of the Soul tour and we had to stay bricked up inside our homes for a full year.

He was crestfallen and despondent, a decaying human. No girlfriend, no Army. No band members to slap his back, cook him food and distract his mind from the loneliness.

Except for me.

I was the one who made time for him. Who visited him, despite our management’s strong disliking for it. I went around them and did it without anyone’s knowledge but Jungkook’s. With a mask and health in perfect condition that I took care of more for him than for anyone else. Our relationship blossomed to highs that overgrew the bricked walls of our mandatory, artificial castle. A peach honeysuckle vine that we watched as much as we could while I wrote poems to him in my heart to alleviate his ache. It was spring and one, singular hummingbird would fly in to listen to my words while inhaling the sweetened perfume of those pale orange flowers or the fragrance of the natural honey I would buy him and pour over the pancakes I would make for him. A comfort food, a symbol of our secret meetings. A butterfly would sit on the small creature’s back, just to look over its wings and be a witness to a mind’s mending, an afternoon’s tea mixed with dark liquor that would always fade to noraebang.

The key to Jungkook’s heart.

I don’t know how the little fella found us, but I wish his wings would sense us here. There’s no windows for him to look out of, but the craving in me for it to fly in and save the day, remind Jungkook who’s been here for him this whole time, blossoms in me just like those peach flowers.

The castle has collapsed a tiny bit, but the honeysuckle remains untouched.

Or at least I hope so.

The other, non-selfish way is simple. Our work had been put off for so long and now that we’re able to pick it back up—in a way that isn’t as satisfactory as I’d want it to be, of course, for the only faces we’ll be seeing beyond the stage are the ones of camera lenses, not the ones belonging to our beautiful Army—there’s a distraction, an external person who could never understand the gravity of that pain we all went through.

This was supposed to be a precious time shared between us. Another mending of some sort—as our job is the chambers of our hearts.

And now as I look at her, I feel her playing with those strings of my heart like a harp. And I have that terrible feeling that she will open the doors to each chamber and ruin everything we’ve worked so hard for.

In spite of the fact that she didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a gut feeling that consumes me and I can’t do a thing about it, not even admit that it gives me the tiniest hint of a thrill that I’ve been craving for so long.

Jungkook wasn’t the only one affected by the loneliness that came with the mandate. I gave my all to him and always walked out of his door empty—with no one to refill me.

Performing again was supposed to do the job, but it seems as though she’s come in to hijack it.

Announcement, the ruffling of his hair and multitudes of teasing aside, we had an hour and half left until the beginning of our first show in Seoul. Jungkook left us, with cheeks as darkened as poppies in the summer, with a staff member and our bodyguard to pick her up at a designated meeting spot nearby. He hadn’t eaten all day—not before our dismal soundcheck and certainly not during our hair and makeup session. A ribbon of worry curled tightly in my gut that unfurled once he filled his plate with hotdogs after introducing her to us.

No shaking of hands, only Jungkook’s hand pointing at each member while his mouth gave life to their names. And she didn’t nod her head, not even once, as she moved to greet and smile at every face, which caused me to think that she either already knew of us, either due to our popularity or due to Jungkook’s stories—or both.

But when it was my turn, her smile faltered.

I didn’t see much of her face, for she wore a black mask. And the only part of her features I was able to see spoke to me in a foreign language I was too pissed off to decipher.

Feline eyes.

Round and wispy, so terribly cat-like that it cut through my heartstrings she played with and then abandoned. She held my gaze so unfathomably deeply and it wasn’t until she whisked her eyes away that I realized she, irrevocably, clutched time in her hands. It had stopped during that brief moment and resumed as if nothing happened.

It unnerved me.

As did my strange feelings as I took in the personality of her outer form.

She wore a long silky dress, as black as her energy and her hair nearly akin to the length of that garment. Its hem brushed against her ankles with every movement she made and her feet were shod in a pair of heels that would puncture my heart if she so much as wished so. Over her shoulder hung a matching, leather purse and I noticed something that bruised, most peculiarly, my flesh.

The clasp of her chain strap had a chubby Grookey Pokémon caged as a keychain.

I found it as adorable as absolutely dangerous. Still do as my eyes can’t help but to watch it twirl.

She’s a dangerous black cat, with her claws tucked in. And the entire night coils in her eyes, dressing her in innocence and a simultaneous seductiveness that make my lungs swell.

A quintessence of beauty, she is.

After the introduction is over, Jungkook pulls out a chair for her beside him, sitting down and not wasting a second as he stuffs his mouth full with one of the hotdogs. The monkey bounces with her movement and it’s only now that my brain puts two and two together. The monster almost matches the minty tinge of Jungkook’s dyed hair with its plump, green body.

None of them know that I match him, too.

A leaf of the same plant swirls in my glass of whiskey.

And the notion of iciness that it adds to the bitterness of the liquid turns to ash in my mouth as I take a sip. I, myself, sit on the armrest on the couch, alone—but not alone physically. Hobi rests, leisurely, next to me and she’s stolen glances at him more times than I like. Looked at him while completely avoiding the ring of protectiveness I’ve conjured around myself.

She does good, but it spreads fire to the strangeness of my feelings that I can’t name.

Is she throwing a rope around another one of the boys? Her claws itching to rise?

Who’s next?

I sigh as she laughs, softly, at something Namjoon says and it deepens my ire. Namjoon should’ve made order as the leader of our group. Should’ve said no to Jungkook at the unfolding of his news and keep the number of our group to seven. Especially when our time together is this precious.

Not chatting her up and coaxing that wonderful sound out of her.

“Can we get you anything to drink?” Namjoon asks, waving his hand in the direction of the alcohol station out far in the left corner of the lounge room. A mint plant mocks me as my eyes flick to it while I take another sip. The reason why it’s there in the first place is because Jimin likes his mojitos.

He sips on it like it’s a Capri-Sun as I swallow the dark liquid after swirling it in my mouth for a moment, the bitterness doing nothing to stifle my ire.

“No,” she says, feebly, brushing her fingers down the length of her ebony hair before tossing it over her shoulder, giving me a perfect look of one singular strand that has been dyed in the same pale green color that is suffused all though Jungkook’s hair. The shade, but darker, more sinister, imbues my blood with envy. It’s not that soft color, redolent of spring meadows, by any chance. It’s an ancient, vague memory of a forest once in full bloom that is now withering and dying at dusk. How long has he been seeing her that they reached this base? “I don’t drink hard liquor, but thank you.”

Namjoon licks his lips, spreading his arms over the two empty chairs beside him. “Ah,” he laments, smiling at her, gently. “You don’t drink at all?”

Jungkook lifts his head from his plate, laughing through his nose as he chews his food, his mouth forming into that bunny smile of his. He knows something I don’t and my green blood boils.

The cat girl grins, her head twisted in Jungkook’s direction when she laughs, the skin under her chin rounding out, and my chest tightens in endearment at the sight of it.

The cutest fucking double chin I ever have the eyes to see.

Fuck.

“Oh, she drinks,” Jungkook says, his words muffled due to his full cheeks, the food inside showing as he continues to be all smiles.

The cat girl pinches his arm, but owing to the thick fluffiness of his jumper, she doesn't reach skin, and therefore doesn't inflict the pain she intended. Jungkook pretends to moan in pain, anyway. My chest tightens again—this time for a beat longer.

An oddity flies through my vision, slicing through my envy.

Her claws sinking into my bare skin as I let her playfulness out—

I shake that picture out of my head as quickly as it arrives, running my fingers through my strands that had fallen in front of my eyes. The girl helps my effort by speaking, distracting me from the faint rush of lust that begins to course down my body.

I can’t get hard.

“Yeah, I only drink wine,” she reveals, coyness entwining around her tone, and she kneads her hands, struggling with her straight posture.

Another distraction, one that softens, most peculiarly, my lust.

If I were born with deaf ears, I would’ve known she was fighting through her shyness by one glance at her body language and I don’t blame her.

She doesn’t have only seven pairs of eyes watching her. She’s the apple of fifteen more if I include our staff, sound engineers and our management.

If I weren’t the person I was and if this wasn’t my job, I would have run the first chance I got. A certain admiration envelops my heart the more I study her toy with her fingers, soothingly, because of a reason that aches to admit.

A reason far from plain.

She’s the same as me. Uncomfortable by and disliking any public event with people involved, especially if you’re put in a position to talk.

A bond forms and I can’t stop it. I can’t rip it apart even as I willfully try in my headspace to cut off that red string tied around my heart, leading to hers. I can’t because she eventually slouches, giving up, her spine protruding towards me through the open back of her dress, for she’s turned her body towards Namjoon, who sits at the head of the table, but I figure she did it in order to be closer to Jungkook to gain some comfort from him. The skin of her back is refulgent and tanned, scattered with little blemishes that connect, like constellations, to a night sky full of birthmarks, and that only add to her beauty.

Her whole back is filled with them, stirring my wonder. And, unknowingly, she let me see by sweeping her hair to one side. I wonder if Jungkook has seen them and appreciates them as much as I do—

Jungkook burps, obscenely loudly, setting down Hobi’s unfinished can of Sprite that he left on the table. I’m sure Hobi’s regretting making that mistake, but when I look at him, he’s smiling so widely that I can see his gums and I’m so astounded by that view that I’m thrown off my balance.

Even more so, when I check the reactions of the other members and begin to feel shame descending down my own spine like cold sweat. Jimin has hearts thumping in his eyes, raising his hand in the girl cat’s direction, connecting with her as he says he loves a good bubbly. Taehyung, sitting on the direct opposite side of Jungkook by the table with his arms crossed and his face flushed intones that tonight after the show he will break his sobriety streak. Jin joins the table and flicks Taehyung’s forehead, tells him he doesn’t have to break anything while taking a huge bite of his banana. And Namjoon… he laughs, hands intertwined upon the back of his head.

The whole table laughs, in fact.

Hobi does beside me, too.

I’m the only one who doesn’t, steeped in my uncertainty as I am.

They all bask in comfort and gaiety. There’s no awkwardness, no unspoken words or silence that hangs heavily in the air. There’s no need for our hummingbird; no need to change directions, play pretend or act accordingly to the new situation because there’s absolutely nothing new about the atmosphere I find myself to be in. Everything is as if it were just the seven of us.

Making jokes, lighthearted energy, connections lengthening and digging deep…

I haven’t seen that, been a part of that in so long.

I was wrong—and the shame, stemming from my wrong impression and unwarranted fear, washes out the envy from my blood. It stands, arm to arm, with my life-long emptiness and I bow my head down, licking my lips.

I wish to exit myself out of this room.

I wish my heart wasn’t so sensitive.

I wish—

“It’s her birthday today and I bought so many bottles of champagne and wine,” Jungkook says, running his tongue over his teeth, and my head lifts; my heart enlarges before it shrinks, painfully, magnifying my shame until it grazes the flesh like a shard. It’s her birthday? “I’ll need your help, guys. We’re not celebrating here tonight. After the show, we’re going to my place.”

It’s not peach honeysuckle that I’m thinking of. Not pancakes. Not our hummingbird and butterfly as the boys cheer all over again, wishing her happy birthday.

It’s her that I’m thinking of.

And how much I messed up.

He brought her here to make her birthday special—to be with her on the day that carries her name, not to replace me.

It explains why she’s so magnificently dressed up; why she’s putting her feet through so much pain in those heels of hers.

Just for one night. And I’ve managed to ruin it so majestically with my energy. No wonder she won’t look at me; no wonder her eyes won’t even sweep past me en route to Hobi’s chocolate fountain that his eyes emanate.

Mine are nothing but death. I don’t blame the decline of her smile as her pools met it. A kitty cat that looked at the face of a skull. It symbolized the end of time and now I perceive that it epitomizes the end of me.

The longer she’s present, the more I loosen the consuming negativity that I’ve lived for so long in compliance with—because now I’m soft.

I’m gutted I made her feel awful to be here with my dark energy.

“Jungkook, you should’ve told us that was the reason why you brought her along. We would have welcomed you with a happy birthday song,” Namjoon says, his palm lifted towards Jungkook and her while his other hand reminds behind his head.

I can’t see her smile. Not even a hint of it in her eyes, for this time around she doesn’t turn around to steal a glance at Hobi. And I wish she would, with a strength that I’m in awe that I’m even possessing, because I find myself yearning to look at her face, amidst my softness.

I misjudged her so terribly that the yearning doubles as she presses her hands against her cheeks amidst the overbearing attention. Becomes a need—a need to fix what I so unfairly have broken.

And jealousy thunderstrikes in my system when Jungkook bumps his shoulder into hers, gently, his head tipped low, fixed in her direction as she struggles, once again, in her shyness. Straightens her spine just in time for Jungkook to curl a finger around her ear and take off her black mask.

I’m so jealous everyone else gets to see her face fully that indignation supersedes my past ire and my softness and I’m quickly up on my feet, ready to walk out to breathe in some fresh air but something else steps into my plan.

And it’s not her.

It could never be her.

Staffs members circle around us, guiding us out of the room to wire us up. But I stall my time, purposefully staying behind so I can look at her. I pretend to exercise my pain from my shoulder surgery by rolling it and making a face. Jungkook whispers something to her, her face pointed upwards as he stands before her while she remains sitting and I’m so bothered by it that it calls out the pain, incites it to come haunt me again.

Everyone else had something to say to her—and yet I still haven’t, owing to my foolish mistake. Self-hatred fastens to my anger and I can’t breathe, my lack of knowing what to say to her when the time comes worsening my feelings.

The boys leave the room and it’s just me and her. The staff member knows not to push me, but the pressure in her eyes is the driving force that takes my legs to the kitty girl.

She sits so awfully forlornly in her chair, reminds me so much of Jungkook, her spine back to slouching, that marvelous pillar protruding again and my lungs do that thing they seem to automatically do whenever I see that part of her.

She hears my footfalls as I approach her, but she doesn’t turn around. I ignore the way it makes me feel, the heaviness that comes with it, too. She, in most probability, thinks I’m walking out of this room without saying a word to her, but I’m not capable of that.

Not anymore.

I call out her name and, in surprise, she lifts her spine. Turns around, at last, the sleek fabric of the dress adding swiftness to the movement and I see her face. Her full mouth that compliments, most perfectly, her big feline eyes. And I think about how much her dark, sensual energy doesn’t mirror her personality, her coyness that hides inside until someone speaks to her. Her chin is so small that my fist would still be empty if I held it in the way my body asks for, but the look she gives me diminishes the lust that slowly begins to crawl again within me.

It’s one that bears a different kind of shyness. It’s fear-induced respect and the hatred towards myself thickens.

I don’t want her to feel this way, but I molded it in her.

It’s my fault.

It’s why I think twice before I tell my fingers no, for they ache to drum against the top edge of her chair in effort to linger in her proximity. I won’t encourage her discomfort when I yearn to wipe it clean. But when she inhales my prolonged silence and raises her thin brows in waiting, the tiniest sliver of a smile quivering on her lips, she doesn’t know it—but she somehow gives me the words I was lacking.

“Did Jungkook tell you where to go?” I ask, softly, fearing her knees will turn away from me, her body language divulging to me the depth of her uneasiness around me. But she remains put, the pillows of her lips balancing at last as they stretch out in a small grin that I don’t deserve.

Her slender nose crinkles.

My heart forgets to beat.

“No, he told me to wait here and that Min-ji will take me to a room where I can watch you, guys, perform on the TV,” she says, her grin making it difficult for her to get the words out and she blushes. There must be some other, silent language shared between our bodies because I discover myself smiling, too, even though there’s nothing from her sentence that can possibly be the cause of it.

The energy shifts, devastatingly, and heat clings to my skin, dispersing relief down my nerve endings.

All while buzzing tingles chase it, hastily, grabbing it by the back of its shirt and consuming it.

It’s strange, so terribly strange to be consumed by nervousness when I’ve been used to nothingness and emptiness for so long.

And her eyes seem to grow bigger, despite the irrepressible dynamism of her fear. Is she gaining thrill out of it—to be staring at the face of breaking death like the small kitten she is and knowing it’s her power that influences me?

Those eyes. If my ears weren’t bombarded by Hobi’s sound effects wafting down the hall and into the lounge room, mingling with the rise and fall of Jungkook’s voice as he warms it up, I swear I can hear the song of swallows in them. She’s a manifestation of a summer evening in her fear and nervousness, when those birds go mad in the tender blues and pinks of the sky—and I don’t know why I like it so much. Why I want to seize it in my hand and squeeze it.

And she’s about to be all alone here with it while I go join the rest of my brothers.

It’s something that doesn’t feel right.

The staff member taps me on my back. Time is against me—why doesn’t she control it? I swivel behind me to catch her nodding her chin in the direction of the hall and I sigh, quietly.

“Wait with her until Min-ji comes to get her, so she’s not alone here,” I tell her, then look down at the kitty girl again.

Her raised brows create wrinkles on her forehead and once she sees that I’ve noticed, she relaxes, wetting her lips. Doesn't want me to see the surprise that comes from what she created in me.

How cute.

“Enjoy the show,” I murmur, moving my feet towards the exit. I gaze back at her, catch her lungs shuddering, and the words slip off my tongue before I scramble the courage to stop them. “And happy birthday.”

Her blush reaches her neck and it’s all my vision consists of—even when I’m performing.

Our interaction was too short. Too, too short. And my anger took on a new face.

Hers.

Every word I rapped as I stared into the camera, I felt it dissolving in me and transforming into a yearning so great that my verses gained new meaning. A yearning to see her again, talk to her, pinch that fear in my fingers and fling it away, make space for something in her that had the vigor to surprise me and make me soft again. And in my concentration, I didn’t have the fight in me to put a stop to it. I was doing my duty for the happiness of our Army and while I thought about her, it seemed right. Those two things went along and it spurred a pleasant feeling in me that was warmer than the adrenaline sticking to my inflamed body from all the performing.

It didn’t hit me that she was watching me the whole time until my eyes regarded her unperturbed, flaccid posture in that white plastic chair, wading in my thoughts as I was. Her grin and the flecks of light in her eyes illuminate the room with orange, blazing fire. She’s barefoot, her heels kicked to the side, crooked, elegiac, yet still sensuous. Our show is being rerun on the TV and she’s watching it, transfixed, not realizing me and Jungkook were the first to come to her out of the group.

A mental connection clicks in my brain at the sight of it. The peach blossoms of the honeysuckle, Jungkook and the genuine love I carry for him. It is that orange color—it’s a home that keeps it safe, the atmosphere that she exudes through her evident elation and I don’t really understand why I feel this way.

I haven’t even known her for a day.

And it’s forced to collapse when her pools don’t find mine, but Jungkook’s once we walk in, joining her. She holds up her hand in the air, curling down her middle and ring fingers in while the rest of her digits remain erect, small and slim as they are. Her nose crunches up in the way it did when our bodies spoke in that secret language. And when she laughs and the corners of her eyes crinkle, I realize she’s mimicking his gesture that he so often does on stage while showing off his Army tattoo.

The finger-fucking gesture.

Her blush beams on her face, even more so when she does a stroking movement with her curled fingers, and I can’t help but wonder, briefly, if that’s how she does it to herself when she’s all alone and the night sinks inside her skin to get a refill of her juices, only to smear it across the sky.

It’s what I need to focus on, so I don’t explode in anger that she ignores me.

Jungkook cackles, sticking out his tongue and doing the gesture. I hide my face in my towel, getting rid of the sweat coating me—but it pours out of my pores again when I hear her giggle.

And I need to leave, my imagination no longer strong enough to withstand the jealousy that poisons my blood all over again.

I fling the towel out and away from me, not caring where it lands.

I don’t meet any eyes as I walk out, keeping my sight fixed on the gray floor, streaked with black lines from the hundreds of wheels of carts that have drove down the hall and from all the sneakers that have walked past. I follow them and I don’t know where they take me until I’m suddenly face to face with the gaping night.

And it’s not her.

It’s my wound.

No stars for a naked pupil to see. Merely an abounding canvas of blackness that stares back at me and questions me, questions my feelings when it knows full well how hard I’ve wept, many times, in its airy embrace.

I sit against the wall, needing something solid to support me, the spaciousness of the roof enveloping me, but not tightly enough. There, but never close enough—always a safe distance apart, as if afraid of me.

Everyone is so always fucking afraid of me.

And when they lean in and graze my heart, they get repulsed by me.

It’s an ouroboros that my life, like my legs, follows. Like a dog chasing its own tail—and it’s such a perfect comparison because I’ve always been alone, save for my brothers. Distracted for a while, then alone again.

I’m weary of it, despite the fact my body tends to wait for the thrill of the attention, longs for it, even when I dislike it. I’m an oxymoron that won’t cease and I have to live with it.

And I can’t exit out of it because I have millions of lives that depend on me, plus six more.

I sigh and I think sucking on a cigarette, numbly, while I crawl on my knees through the forest of my thoughts and feelings would be a thing of perfection. But I can’t afford that. Not when we’re working again. Not when our boss lurks at every corner, has eyes everywhere. Jungkook has had his last hotdog for a while and I…

I swathed my broken strings around someone he brought into my life.

Through a little hole my brothers let me see by forcing her to sit through a conversation that was a pain for her. A moonlight stripe of her personality, encased by her social anxiety and shyness. One that has awakened my body to emotions it hasn’t felt the touch of in a long time.

Why am I not fighting it?

Why am I not coercing my soul into submission, into that abyss of emptiness and hostility?

Why am I letting myself feel?

She’s just a girl that he’s seeing. Many stories like these have been written before and we’ve read the lines, recognized words that limned us, only for the love interest to disappear into thin air after some time like she never existed. And she’d just be another character in his love chronicles, if her persona hadn’t spoken to me so much.

If her body hadn’t spoken to me in a language no one knows—not even me.

I can’t begin my sentences about her with ‘she’s just a girl’, because she isn’t.

And I don’t understand how that’s come to be.

It happened so quickly that I fear I wasn’t present enough.

My wound tilts its head as my world does the same thing—slants on its axis. Coos at me, seeing me, seeing through me. Reminds me of what happened the last time I felt.

The passing of my girlfriend gave me the gift of a gun to my hand—gave me the face of death that I’ve been carrying ever since because it nearly made my dream of time ending come true. And the kitty girl… standstill hangs off her fingers like a pearl necklace that’s too long. And I find myself wanting to wear it. Because it’s her decision, her consciousness, her will.

Not mine.

And it will bring me closer to my Sun-mi.

My wound begins to cry at the memory of her, raindrops pitter-pattering on the tin ridges of the rooftop and I cherish that she’s remembered and honored by such vastness, by such picturesqueness that I’ve always considered the night to be. And when the wind brushes along my fidgeting hands, I almost feel her touch all over again.

Feel.

I feel.

And in my heart, I tell her. I sail to her, attaching myself to her again. Tell my Sun-mi that I am capable of feeling and that I don’t know how it came together in me. And I ask her, in utmost respect, to guide me on this unknown path.

Because I am alone without her. Adrift, without rhyme and reason. No wits to me, no rationality, no clear perception of right and wrong.

There’s only grayness to me.

Maybe that’s why I, unknowingly, dyed my hair this color before the start of the tour.

And it dawns on me, now that one chapter has closed in my life, that the passing of my Sun-mi a year and a half ago is the reason why I’ve clung to Jungkook so rigidly. Because I couldn’t spend my time on her, I spent it on Jungkook. Because I had all this love for her and I couldn’t give it to her, so I gave it to Jungkook.

And the kitty girl has put a stop to it.

Sun-mi graces me with the tepid, yet fuzzy impression that it’s good—that it was meant to happen. And I believe her.

And with my belief, the rain thickens.

A thunder rolls forward from a far-away corner of the canvas of the sky that I can’t see. And I dwell in the pool of the fountain of the love I still have for her and forever will continue to have. Kneel in it. Search for her.

I imagine her. The button of her nose, the curl of her top lip whenever we ridiculed aegyo by doing it together and doing a good fucking job while at it. I imagine her small fist at her round cheek, but she connects my memories to the kitty girl.

And she consumes me, wholly.

Sun-mi makes me imagine her doing a cat-like aegyo and as the corner of my mouth lifts, a particular fear devours my gut.

A fear of closeness.

A fear of doing something with her that I did with Sun-mi, even when she okays it in my spirit.

A fear of reliving something so painful again.

The rain inches towards me and I scurry to my feet, my hand trembling as I open the door to the staircase. And when I shut out the sound of hard rainfall and prevent the traumatic memories of my accident from slinking into my mind, it’s the only strength I have left.

And I crumble.

I mirror the rain I abhor so much.

I sit on the top of the staircase and I sear my hands with my acid-suffused tears. Sob so devastatingly that I don’t recognize myself, drenching the denim fabric over my knees. And when I pull on my hair, numbness is all that I detect within me.

Good.

No feelings; only emptiness.

I steel myself by taking a few deep breaths, letting the oxygen settle that deep in me. And I unattach myself from my Sun-mi, promise her I will get back to her soon. Go back to who I previously was before I scraped the skin of my knees raw on the hardened soil of my emotions and thoughts.

Alone death.

But Sun-mi doesn’t sail away back to heaven. Doesn’t let me go. She stomps her foot on the wet grass of my heart and I understand why. I asked her to guide me and what I didn’t know was that she would break the laws of heaven in order to do that. She wouldn’t whisper words of wisdom into the chambers of my heart. She would take my hand and show me wisdom, pointing me to the right decision.

That is my Sun-mi.

I let her because I need her. I bow to her and I would stoop to my stomach on this dirty, metal staircase floor to divulge my respect and gratitude to her if I didn’t hear a voice echoing up towards me.

A familiar male voice calling out to me.

Sun-mi pulls me to it and tingles vibrate down my legs as I fly through the stairs, skipping the bottom ones in order to get me faster to my brother. Sun-mi pumps blood into my heart, refreshing the grass she lays upon, and lightness descends upon my shoulders.

Her work of art.

Heaving, I meet Jungkook in the doorframe, glancing up at me, disappointment lidding his eyes. But I don’t fear, not when Sun-mi is with me. He opens the door wider for me to step through, but I remain fixed on my spot, panting, ringing piercing through my hearing sense.

Too much adrenaline at once in a season of drought. My body is unable to catch up to the new acclimatization.

“What’s going on?” I ask, my throat raw from my crying and I clear it, so there’s no evidence of my sensitivity. Sun-mi caresses the wall of my heart to soothe me and tears burn at the back of my eyes—from the simple fact that I can feel her.

I’ve felt her only once before. A week after she died, I prayed to her, loudly, until I lost my voice. Begged her to come back to me.

And she did.

And it felt nice until it didn’t—so I made it my habit to attach and unattach myself because of my fragility. It is only a matter of time before the logic of your mind distinguishes a real person from a ghost. And the parting of that vulnerable mist, in the middle of your agony, isn’t for the faint-hearted.

But Sun-mi, at this very moment, feels more real than she ever has. As if she truly was hidden in the rooms of my heart like a little doll, like a little angel that has the task from above to guide me.

And because I need it, I’ll let more time pass through this transcendental connection.

Jungkook flattens his lips, tightly, the tip of his tongue poking out to play with the thin metal pierced through his bottom lip. He’s changed back into the clothes he came in, minus the fluffy jacket. A black T-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It makes the green of his hair stand out—just like the wisp of the same color on that singular strand of the girl kitty’s hair.

They have a tendency to match and shame boils in me, that Sun-mi is a witness to the jealousy I feel. I haven’t told her and I don’t know if I want to. In my momentary cowardice, I hope that she can sense it and validate it.

But I gain nothing from her.

Silence.

One that Jungkook breaks.

“Staff said that we have to wait until the storm passes.”

My stomach sinks, the memory of the rainfall faint in my ears. “Good.”

Jungkook pauses before he voices out the question that I can visibly see rising in him. Nibbles his bottom lip, the metal tilting to the side like my world. “Where did you go?”

My breath shivers as I inhale, tasting my half-false words before I speak them. “I felt hot and I needed some fresh air.”

I felt jealous that you made dirty innuendos with your friend, I don’t say. It led me to seek my dead girlfriend because I feel inclined to fraternize with that aforementioned friend.

Jungkook frowns. “You went out in the rain?”

I pass through the gap between his body and the doorframe, not able to stand the position I’ve been put in, anxiety prickling my fingertips. Jungkook lets the door shut behind him with a loud thud, following closely behind me until he falls in step beside me.

“It felt refreshing until it didn’t,” I decide to mutter. Typical words of mine—I can’t stand them either.

Sun-mi is still silent.

Maybe I should unattach myself, protect myself from further pain. It was a moment of weakness, anyways—

Jungkook rubs my shoulder, gently, the fixed one, barely touching me, but the gesture is there. And I grasp why I love him so much.

His gentleness is everything to me.

“The rain will stop,” he says and I take those words to heart, giving them the meaning that they are the wisdom I needed to hear, the wisdom I sought from my quiet Sun-mi.

The rain will stop.

The sensitivity will stop, too.

And time will stop soon, one day.

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth, @jungkoock, @cinmmongirl, @hobiberrystuff.

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pitchsidestories · 3 months ago

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love me like you hate me II Millie Bright x Reader

masterlist I word count: 2215

a/n: thanks to the anon who requested this, we hope you all enjoy it. 😌

It almost felt like your first day of school.

Nervousness mixed with excitement in the pit of your stomach.

Joining Chelsea was a brand-new start for you. You had spend the majority of your life in Lyon, going through all of Olympiques youth teams. So transferring to a new club in a different country felt like a huge step but Sonia Bompastor, your former coach at Lyon, had wanted you in her new team and you knew that you could trust her judgement.

That’s why you were now taking your first steps on Chelseas training ground, ready to join your coach and your new teammates.

Sonia gave you an encouraging smile before she turned to her players. “Bonjour, girls. Before we begin, I want to introduce someone to you. This is our new player, y/n.“, she said in her heavily accented English.

You waved nervously at the others: “Salut.“

At least there were some familiar faces smiling back at you.

Sonia continued: “We worked together in Lyon. She is already very experienced for her age and she will play Centre back. We brought her in to ‘ave more competition at this position, especially with Millie.“

“Excuse me, what?!”, a tall, blonde woman said incredulously. Millie, you assumed.

Sonia shrugged: “That is football, Millie. It will ‘elp you improve.“

“Oh, wow. But I’m the captain. I…“, she started, seemingly unsure how to express her anger.

“Someone’s scared.“, Lucy teased. She was one of the few people you already knew from her time at Lyon, back when you had just joined the senior team.

Millie rolled her eyes at her teammate: “I’m not scared of a child.“

“I’m not a child. I’m 22.“, you protested, studying the older woman that you would have to compete with. Your heart sank a bit. She was a European champion, a regular starting player for her club and country and while you had your fair share of trophies, contending for the same position with her would be no easy task.

Millie gave you an unimpressed look: “You’re barely out of girlhood, you still got a lot to learn. Welcome to Chelsea, this will be very different to Lyon.“ There was an icy edge to her voice as she said the last part.

Hushed whispers passed between the other players.

“I’m sure you two will get along well.“, Sonia said but you weren’t sure if she was being naively positive or if it was just irony. It didn’t matter. Millies behaviour towards you had already made your blood boil and you refused to let her have the last word in this.

As the team slowly started to disperse for their warm-up, you caught up with the blonde defender: “Good luck, Millie. I won’t make this easy for you.“

She barely even looked at you when she replied cooly: “Don’t worry. I won’t either.“

Before you were able to answer Catarina Macário wrapped her arms around you for a tight hug. “Y/n, good to have you back in the team.”, the American beamed at you. Back in Lyon you two were good friends likely because of the small age difference between you both. Also, it was her who helped you with improving your English skills. Admittedly, it felt good to see her again especially after the frosty exchange you had with your new captain.

“I can’t wait to play with you again.”, you told her excitedly.

“Very good decision from Sonia to get you.”, she grinned.

“She was very convincing during her phone calls. And to honest I needed a change of scenery.”, you confessed with a crooked smile on your lips.

“Did you get tired of getting tackled by Wendie during training?”, Catarina teased you amused.

“Yes.”, you nodded chuckling while you received another pad on the shoulder from a familiar face.

“Missed us kid?”, Lucy asked winking.

“Of course I did.”, you responded in an honest tone.

The older defender looked at you more closely before she confirmed. “Me too.”

A few days had passed since your introduction, the team has flown to the US for a preseason tour and the first stop was New York. On the way to the hotel Millie sat down next to Lucy. From the bus windows they could see the famous skyline of the city, but the Chelsea captain didn’t had eyes for that, she felt the urge to talk to her England teammate about you.

“Why are you so nice to y/n, she’s so arrogant, Lucy.”, the blonde huffed.

“No, she’s sweet.”, Lucy disagreed smiling.

“Not with me, have you seen how she attacks me in training?”, the younger defender countered frustrated.

“It’s not that bad, Millie.”, the dark-haired player assured her smirking.

” When we were young, we wouldn’t have dared to play like that with older players in our team.”, Millie shook her head.

“Well times are changing. And I like that aggressiveness.”, the older woman reminded her.

“Of course you do. God, I just hate her so much.”, she groaned. Much too late Millie realized that you had heard her last words. Immediately when the bus stopped in front of your hotel you were the first to leave it.

“Looks like you have something to fix, skipper.”, Lucy observed.

“Shit, I obviously didn’t mean hate just that she frustrates me so much.”, the Chelsea captain mumbled biting her lip guiltily.

“Tell her that not me.”, her England teammate replied sounding serious.

“Cat our captain hates me.”, you whispered in your friend’s ear, sitting on your suitcases in the huge lobby while waiting for your room keys.

“Millie doesn’t hate anyone.”, Catarina objected gently.

“But you heard her.”

“She clearly didn’t mean it.”, she gave a smile of encouragement.

“How do you know? She seems to like everyone except me.”, you helplessly ran the hand through your hair.

“I know her.”, the American said firmly.

You left it at that, even though you didn’t fully believe your former Lyon teammate. Especially when the days in the US were exactly like the ones back at London, with Millie mostly ignoring you and you trying to prove her wrong in every training.

You were surprised when she finally acknowledged your existence just a day later. It was only the two of you in the hotel room you had to share when Millie suddenly decided: “Y/n, we have to talk.“

“About what?”, you asked, unsure about the direction in which this conversation would be going.

The older defender crossed her arms in front of her chest, her face with an unreadable expression. “About what you’ve heard.“

“Cat says you didn’t mean it but I think it sounded like you did.“, you said, keeping a watchful eye on her from your bed.

She huffed out a breath: “Let’s just say I phrased it wrong, okay? I don’t hate you, I hate the way you act in training.“

“But I’m just challenging you.“, you frowned at her.

“You’re risking injuries.“, Millie said plainly, the clear accusation hidden in the neutrality of her voice. You could tell she was straining to keep a normal conversation.

You shook your head: “No, I don’t want to hurt anyone. I know what I’m doing…“

Millie scoffed: “You’re still a child. You don’t have a clue about what you are doing.“

You rolled your eyes. Of course she would play the age card again. You just wanted this talk to end.

“I’m 22. That’s ‘ardly a child.“

“Listen, all I’m saying is that one day you’re going to injure someone like that.“

“Millie, I won more Champions League titles than you so I’m not as inexperienced as you think.“, you explained, voice tinged with slight annoyance.

“Oh, you mean the titles you won from the bench?”, she retorted.

“No, I actually played.“

“Not in the finals.“

“So you did watch our games?”, you asked before you could decide to throw some French swear words at her.

“No.“

“Not even after Sonia was announced as the new coach?”

“No.“

“I see.“, you nodded slowly, not sure what you actually saw apart from Millies indifference.

“So can we agree that you take it down a notch in training?”

“Yes.“, you agreed begrudgingly. “If you stop thinking I’m still a child.“

From your point of view, that was all that had to be said. The conversation was over. You got up from the bed and pulled your Chelsea shirt over your head, ready to switch into your pyjamas. It was only when you stripped of your sweatpants as well that you noticed Millies gaze on you.

“Stop staring, Captain Bright.“, you laughed through the awkwardness.

She didn’t look away, she also didn’t smile. “Why don’t you get dressed somewhere else?”

“Why don’t you turn around to look at the wall? At least you got proof that I’m not a kid anymore.”, you suggested with a cheeky grin on your face.

“Guess I do. But why do I’ve to turn around? There’s a bathroom right here.”, Millie commented.

“Boring plus it ruins the fantasy.”, you added still smiling.

“What are you even talking about?”, the blonde asked confused.

“Oh, please.”, you kept teasing her for her prude Englishness.

“You French girls are so weird.”, she claimed mildly amused by your behaviour.

“Yeah, but your eyes seemed to like it.”, you smirked.

“Are you done now? I’d like to sleep?”, the older defender changed quickly to a safer topic.

“Good night, Millie.”, you muttered while switching off the light.

“Night, y/n.”, Millie sounded almost half asleep. She hasn’t stopped thinking about your abs, but she would never admit that to you somehow, they followed her into her sweet dreams.

In training you couldn’t stop yourself from mocking your captain, still there was a more loving undertone in the way you talked to her now that wasn’t there before.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”, Millie tried to shrug it off.

“Whatever? The young won over the old and you don’t care?”, you pretended to be scandalized by her seemingly unbothered reaction.

Soon, you’d regret your cheekiness as the captain swept you off your feet to carry you to the ice bathtub and let you fall right into the cold.

“Ah, no!”, you yelled.

“That’s what you get for making fun of team old.”, the English woman explained, biting back a smile.

At dinner Lucy elbowed her teammate playfully. “You’re starting to like her too, Millie.”

“Oh, shut up.”, she pushed her friends arm away from her, her cheeks had turned slightly pink.

“No, it’s true you use every opportunity to touch her like.”, Guro intervened giggling.

“Like what?”, Millie interrupted the Norwegian forward impatiently.

“Like you’re into her.”, Lucy remarked, rolling her eyes at the cluelessness of her England teammate.

“I’m not.”, she protested.

“If you say so..”, Guro responded humoured.

“You don’t believe me.”, Millie sighed dramatically.

“Not a word.”, Erin affirmed.

“It’s pretty obvious.”, Lucy added.

“You know what they say about hatred and love.”, the Norwegian started laughing.

“Stop being annoying.”, the blonde begged her friend.

“I’m just saying.”, Guro threw an innocent smile at her.

“Maybe I don’t hate her anymore.”, Millie acknowledged quietly, hoping that they didn’t hear that confession.

“We know.”, Lucy declared annoyed.

You shook your head to yourself. You had watched from the table across from Millies friend group and couldn’t believe that they really thought you wouldn’t notice that they talked about you.

Patiently, you waited until the end of dinner and when everyone got up, you walked over to Millie.

With a smirk on your lips, you whispered into her ear: “Love me like you hate me then.“

The older defender paused and stared at you, dumbfounded.

“What? What’s that supposed to mean? I…“

You bit back a smile and prompted her to continue: “You?”

Millie caught herself quickly and rolled her eyes: “I wouldn’t go that far to say that I love you.“

“Oh, there’s no need to rush this but would you go on a date with me, captain?”, you continued flirting with her.

She blinked at you, apparently unsure if you meant it or not.

“A date?“, she echoed. “Like a real, honest-to-god date?”

You nodded confidently: “Oui.“

“Why?” She still studied you with narrowed eyes as if she could see right through you this way.

“Why not?”, you shrugged nonchalantly.

It was clearly not the answer Millie was waiting for. Still, she only said: “Okay.“

Now it was on you to look surprised: “So it’s a yes?”

Millies face softened into a smile: “Yes.“

Excitedly, you got onto your tiptoes and pressed a kiss to her cheek: “After our next test game?”

“Saturday then.“,, Millie agreed with a single nod.

“I can’t wait.“, you smiled at her.

Millie watched you with a fondness that she hadn’t allowed herself to show up until now. And you had to admit, it looked good on her.

Going on a date with you on that Sunday the older woman realized that it was easy to hate you for your arrogance, the way you played without compromises, your stubbornness but it turned out to be even easier to love you for your passion of the game, the way you took a real interest in her stories and your smile which lit up the whole dim lit restaurant you were eating at.

#millie bright #millie bright x reader #millie bright imagine #woso x reader #engwnt #lionesses #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso one shot #chelsea fcw #chelsea women #woso community #woso oneshot #catarina macario #lucy bronze

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nickmarini · 5 months ago

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Hi! Welcome to Tumblr! I'm really really enjoying your performance on Downfall: every interaction you have with Ashley absolutely breaks my heart, and it's glorious. ☀️ Here's hoping to see you in more live play TTRPGs in the future!

I'm curious, inasmuch as you can/want to say on here, about Ayden's relationship with the Dawnfather? SILAHA, Trist, Emhira, and Asha all seem to think of their divine aspects as one and the same with their mortal avatars, but though Ayden will sometimes speak as though he is Pelor, the vision in the hospital suggests that he's perhaps more like Pelor's champion or son than an incarnation of him. What inspired you to create this relationship, and how does it affect Ayden's relationship with the other avatars?

Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support! Ashley is so incredible, getting to tie our characters together was so rewarding and helped so much to ground myself! I hope to be able to have a longer convo about all this at some point, because I have thought about it a ton. For now I will say that the sun rises anew each morning and brings with it hope for the new day. Ayden is both brand new and ever constant, the young aspect of an ancient whole. A lot of who he is has to do with why he was sent, yes for the mission of the gods, but also to help his sister who needs him now more than ever, and when the Goddess of Hope begins to fade, it is the only the New Dawn that can bring the return of the light and hope to her.

#critical role #critical role downfall #dawnfather #ayden #cr: downfall #the everlight #everlight #the dawnfather #cr spoilers

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hometoursandotherstuff · 5 months ago

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I have never seen anything like this house. Notice that there are no windows. That is b/c the entire home is covered in bullet-proof Lexan. And, that's not all- every surface inside is also Lexan- the walls, furniture, you name it. Everything is bulletproof. Built in 1953 in Maumee, OH, it has 3bds, 2ba, asking $399,900. It looks brand new inside, I don't think it's ever really been lived in. You have to see this.

It's a nice piece of property- 5.08 acres of it, surrounded by $100K worth of fencing and it also has $300K of concrete, so it's a bargain already.

Here's an idea of the layout. Our tour will begin with the entrance - by the red carpet.

I don't know what this is. Maybe it's a rear entrance.

Here we are in the entrance hall. The red carpet is out to welcome guests to your bulletproof lair. Geez, it's awfully bright in here. They chose the lightest Lexan color- notice how shiny the walls are? Lexan.

Even with the model, I still can't find my way around. I don't see a living room, but this is the first room, with a wall of bulletproof closets and matching desk. There's an exercycle in here for some reason.

I don't know, is it a desk? Looks like they have rubber mats protecting the floors. Now, why would you put wood doors in a bulletproof house?

This is your combination kitchen/exercise room.

Nice, shiny Lexan cabinetry. The fridge looks like a 50s model.

Weird little door there. They've got wood beams on the ceiling for a rustic touch.

This is exercise equipment, right? Weird place for a clock.

Bench w/a neon light. This house has some strange features.

Very large pantry.

Bulletproof shower door. Why is it open at the top? Stop playin.'

Laundry room has a little desk in the corner.

Clearly, those machines aren't bulletproof.

Here's your bedroom with the bulletproof bed, nightstands and storage. But, you can still easily be shot. That mattress is so high, you'd be an easy target.

Who cares about the walls, when the bed makes you a sitting duck? This house is dumb.

Anyway, here's your bulletproof closet/dressing room. I hate when my lingerie has bullet holes.

Now on the toilet, you're only partially hidden. Come on, man.

I don't know, a primary bedroom?

I thought that the real estate description had a lot of nerve saying that it could be demolished and the buyer could rebuild. Now, I'm beginning to think that might be a good idea.

The property has a nice water feature.

Over 5 acres is a lot of land.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/1360-Old-Trail-Rd-Maumee-OH-43537/34722959_zpid/

#bulletproof house #unusual homes #unique homes #Lexan homes #houses #house tours #home tour

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suuuupernovaaa · 5 months ago

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zaldrīzes

zaldrīzes - dragon

Aemond's intended claims a dragon, quite unexpectedly, and he is greatly pleased.

Tags: aemondxoc, aemondxreader, no use of y/n, sexual content, 18+

Word Count: 1.1k

Her footsteps echo through the hall, wet and loud, thwap, thwap, thwap. Heads turn, watching her soaking skirts flying behind her, but she notices no one and nothing except him.

His arms open as she flies to him, soaking him completely as she wraps him in a tight and boisterous embrace.

"What is it?" Aemond asks, unsure if he should be concerned or scared. She is never affectionate in public, and always the example of composure and quiet elegance. To see her sprinting through the halls, white hair loose and wild, skirts filthy, is a brand new sight for him.

"I claimed him," she hisses, pulling apart only a few inches from her husband-to-be.

"Claimed?" Aemond asks, leaning into her. "A dragon?"

"Zaldrīzes iksis ñuhon." The grin upon her beautiful, flushed face grows, ear to ear, painfully wide. The dragon is mine.

She has left Vhagar's rider speechless, for the first time in all his years. "Which?" is all he can muster in reply.

"Cannibal."

His beloved has never lied to him, and he does not think she ever would, but this must be some untruth. A joke she is playing on him. Cannibal cannot be claimed - should not be claimed. No one has ever been foolish enough to try.

He pulls her by the elbow, away from prying eyes, into an alcove, and presses her gently into the cold stone wall. She shivers.

"You lie."

The smile falls from her face, and through he is confused and a little angry, he feels guilty still.

"Why would I lie, my love?"

The high of claiming the dragon they say could not be claimed is starting to wear off, and the dampness of my clothes is beginning to bring a chill to my bones.

I shiver again, but not because of the cold. It's entirely because of the way my husband-to-be stares down at me, with rage and confusion in his eye.

"Aemond," I reach out, cupping his angled jaw. "Why would I lie?" I repeat. "The beast, he was upon my riding path. I had never seen him before. He is... so large, Aemond. I made to turn, but he turned and looked at me. Looked into me, it felt. When I approached and commanded him, he bowed. He lay down his wing, so I might climb on, and we rode."

"With no saddle?"

"I admit, that was a challenge I did not foresee. His scales are so large, Aemond, that I was able to settle into the grooves of them. Were it not raining, I daresay I may have been able to easily hold on. As it was, the ride was short. But I claimed him, Aemond! Cannibal!" It was hard to keep my voice hushed with my excitement, and my nerves. I had not thought Aemond would be so angry.

He steps forward, just half a step, closing the distance between us and pressing me tightly to the stones.

"You could have been killed," he hisses through a tight jaw.

I nod slowly, and shiver once more. "I know. I am sorry, but I... I could not help myself."

Just as I am beginning to wonder if Aemond is going to really hurt me, his mouth is upon mine, a welcome warmth in the chilling cold. His kiss is urgent and demanding, and my hands find their way into his hair with a mind all their own. Aemond's hand slides over my backside as his tongue explores my mouth, then his curious hand moves down my thigh, and to the back of my knee. He pulls my leg up, and presses his core into mine through our clothes, eliciting a moan from deep in my chest. A chill runs through me, nothing to do with the cold air and my wet clothes.

"Aemond, someone will see," I whisper, pulling away just long enough to do so, before he silences me with his mouth upon mine once more.

"Let them see. Let them see me fuck Cannibal's rider right here, in front of them all," he drawls, his lips trailing down my chin, my neck, and to the small area of flesh visible above my dress. He presses his hard cock into me once more, and my head rolls back against the castle wall. "But I think I'll take you in a warm bath instead, dragon rider."

True to his word, Aemond requests a hot bath in his room, and while it is filled, helps me undress and hangs my clothes gently by the fire - something I have only ever seen our chambermaids attend to.

He takes my hand gently and escorts me to the scorching bath. Settling in, it causes gooseflesh to break out on my skin, going from so cold to so hot, but I quickly settle in, releasing a moan.

I turn my head to the side to see Aemond undressing, keeping his eye trained on me as his clothes drop to the floor, revealing the beautiful and toned body of a warrior.

Eagerly, I lean forward so that he can slide in behind me, and he pulls me back once seated so I can rest against his chest.

"Are you terribly angry with me?" I ask after a long, comfortable silence.

Aemond reaches over to the small wooden table next to the bath, and grabs the soap. "Not terribly, no," he replies, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

He starts to wash me gently, with great care. My arms, over my chest and stomach, my legs down to my toes, until I am the cleanest I have ever been, as well as the warmest.

"Were you scared?" he asks.

"Of you, or Cannibal?"

He snorts, but does not answer.

"Yes, I was terrified. But once he laid down his wing in invitation, the fear disappeared. It felt so right, to mount and ride him. He is so large, Aemond."

He sets down the soap and runs his hands up my arms once more. "We are unstoppable now, you and I."

I lean back into my lover, pressing my forehead to his cheek, as his arms encircle me tightly. "Now I can protect you, as you have always protected me. You, and the entire royal family."

He sighs once more, and presses a kiss to my forehead. "I am in awe of you. Tomorrow, I will request the wedding be moved up."

"To when?" I ask, closing my eyes as Aemond's wet, strong hands begin to roam my body.

"The earliest possible moment. I will not be unwed to you a second longer than is necessary, my dragon-claimer."

Aemond's adept hands find their target, and I arch my back, gasping. "Yes, my lord," I reply, and he chuckles.

"No one is lord to you, not anymore," he replies - and then devours me whole.

#aemond targaryan #aemond fic #Aemond x reader #aemond fanfiction

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joffyworld · 2 months ago

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A Celebration

I wanted to make this post as a post-October celebration of my experiences here.

You've all been amazing. Each and every one of you. To anyone who ever sees this, consider us friends and kindred spirits. I mean that from the bottom of my heart, Joffy is a friend to all! I understand some fear para-sociality, and rightly so. I know it's a bit of a dirty word, but while I may never know you in real life, while I may always be a stranger on the internet, that does not preclude kindness from our times here. You are all people, as am I, and there is no illusion of the opposite on my end.

I came into this community just a month ago, driven almost purely by an obsession with the TROD au written by the amazing @bamsara. Since then, I have fallen in love with so many AU's, so many fics, so many oneshots, and so many pieces that I never would have found otherwise, from the horrific cannibalistic nightmares of @teruuu and @yellowflowrs, to the cute and joyous wonders of artists like @junoberrii, @the-artist-grimm, @spiderin-space, @zynical-forg , @7-ferrets-in-a-coat, @cconfusedkat, @frecktheheck, @lagomorphics and @lil-vibes to the beautifully shameless smut and humour of @melle-d, the wonderous fantastical realms of artists like @aychama, @aniimoni and @stychu-stych and the incredibly well written and crushing experiences of writers such as @kiko---random-stuff-probably, @olrinarts and @alllgator-blood. It has all been an incredible experience to watch, every single shade and genre of art and creativity, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I never expected to have so much fun, so much joy, and such a range of emotions all at once, yet here we are!

My welcome into this community has been astonishing. The kindness, the warmth, the laughs, the tears, the silliness, the naughtiness, the evil, the good. It's all been such a wonder to behold. That's not even mentioning the activism, the understanding and the fundraising I've seen with my own eyes! You've all bred a community of love here, and each and every one of you should be proud of that.

Every mutual I make, I am reminded that kindness breeds kindness. When I started this blog, my only wish was to indulge my madness until it passed, to see if maybe instead of suppressing my own interests, indulging them could perhaps instead lead to a less anxious conclusion? I had often been consumed with anxiety as I fought to pretend I was "normal" and it's always been a tough thing for me. By God has being here helped.

I have embraced who I am as a person, I have learnt things about communities I knew nothing about. I've grown empathies for groups I once found hard to relate to, I've felt joy and comfort from strangers where the world has oft left me dejected. I've met so many people similar to me, completely different from me, and all that lies in-between.

I have met the most beautiful souls in the world, I've seen works of art that made me marvel them as though they were classics of antiquity. I've engaged in silly debates, I've interacted with people I look up to so deeply, I've seen talents I didn't know exist. Most of all, I have found a community that understands me, from the autistic and disabled to the regularly deranged and beautifully obsessed <3

And all of this has inspired me to write my own content, to indulge my own mind in ways I have long tried to leave behind, and find my own stride among the crowd of similarly inspired people. To say the words of you people have changed me is to lie, because it doesn't even begin to describe it.

To anyone I haven't directly @'d, I apologise. I wish I could plug you all, but my memory is fragile, and I'm on the mobile app. But know, that whoever you are, friend or foe, you are ASTONISHING. And should I wake up and remember your names, I'd gladly add them with your permissions. There's not a single person I've seen that hasn't amazed me in brand new ways each time, and every time I compliment your works I mean it from the bottom of my soul.

And to anyone who reads this, whether they be an artist, writer, creator of any stripe, or simply a friendly face or a lurking presence in the shadows:

Thank You,

Thank You So Much,

Joffy

#cotl #cult of the lamb #JoffyAnnouncements #JoffyJoff #(if anyone wants their @ removed PLEASE let me know)#(The LAST thing i want is to upset anyone :3)#Happy November 1st!

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vendetta-if · 1 year ago

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Chapter 6 Part 3 + Major System Public Update! 🎉

Hello everyone! 👋 It's finally time for the public update! 😁 This update brings in 24K of new words, bringing Chapter 6 wordcount in total to 89.4K words and the total demo wordcount to 325.3K words! This update brings Chapter 6 to a neat close, which is important because to me, Chapter 6 is like the end of the first arc of the book.

Not only that, but I have also added a few major coding functions with this update, namely, a skip chapter function, and an autosave and reload function. I'm aware that my demo is getting longer, so I assume a skip chapter function might be a welcome addition.

It took me a long time to plan and figure out how to implement these systems, but in the end, after a lot of personal testing, I have finally managed to make them work.

WARNING: It's highly advised that you either play from the beginning with clean saves (or try out the new skip chapter function). I messed with some of the old variables as well, including Santana's and Skylar's default relationship values. Do not reload the saves to avoid potential future errors.

What's to expect from the new update:

Dropping Rin off to their apartment (and maybe, if you've been a good boy/girl, you can get a little smooch 😘)

Have an angsty talk with Uncle Luka 😥

But don't worry, there are potential wholesome moments too (if you choose them, of course 😉)

Another POV of the killer 😈 To see more on how they think and what they know so far.

Brand new skip chapter function! (Currently only for Chapter 6)

An autosave and reload function! (Currently only for Chapter 6)

Plus some new little stuff added in previous chapters.

New stuff added to previous chapters:

Chapter 2: Add proper introduction scene with Ivan and Boris, the twin bodyguards, highlighting their different personalities and their relationship with MC and Ash. They have changed quite a lot and become more fleshed out compared to the first time I wrote them.

Chapter 4: For MCs who said yes to Yvette when she asked them whether they are interested in becoming a Superhero, you now have the option to accept her guidance and reconnect with her or reject her guidance but still have a choice whether to reconnect with her or not. This is in contrast to how those who said yes was forced to reconnect with her.

Chapter 6: Meddle, fix, and add some background variables. Another reason to play from the beginning and to not load old saves.

Also, I have a side story just released on both Patreon and Ko-Fi and a spicy one coming really soon! I'm also still opening ideas/suggestions for this month's side stories until November 11th and then after that, we'll have our polls! So if you're also interested in supporting me while also getting these exclusive contents, please do consider becoming a member! 💖🥰

[DEMO] | [PATREON] | [KO-FI] | [COG FORUM] | [DISCORD]

#demo update #chapter update #writing updates #if: vendetta #if vendetta #vendetta if #if game #if wip #dashingdon #choicescript #choice of games #hosted games #cyoa #interactive game #cyoa games #interactive fiction wip #interactive fiction #interactive story #interactive games

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babymetaldoll · 2 months ago

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Are you mine? - Chapter nine: "Entropy"

Summary: Diana's health hasn't been well, and Spencer is forced to spend some time away from his pregnant wife and daughter. The day has come for Spencer and his wife to meet their nemesis: Cat Adams. Word count: 15.345 words Warnings: smut, angst, Spencer is in danger, spoilers of Criminal Minds "Entropy" A/N: I loved writing this chapter more than I can actually explain. I really need feed back 'cos I want to know what you think.

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Spencer's point of view

There was a case that changed everything for me and my family while working at the BAU. And it all started with a network of hitmen targeting our dearest Penelope Garcia. We had been blind for months, no one ever noticed what was happening under our eyes. It hadn't been a good couple of weeks for us, because my mom hadn't been doing so well with her medicine and her doctors had changed it three times already. I wanted to visit her, but with (Y/N) already four months into her second pregnancy, and still having very bad days, plus the team down one agent, time wasn't on our side.

When did we notice something potentially awful was about to happen? It started the day JJ came back from her maternity leave.

Penelope had organized a little welcome-back party for JJ. She decorated her desk with all the pictures Jennifer had sent us during her absence. Rossi brought a box of Cuban cigars, and (Y/N) and I got little Michael a new brand set of encyclopedias.

- "And I realize that most of this information is most likely on that "internet," but you can never teach old-fashioned research habits too soon."- I pointed out as JJ stared at me and nodded.

- "I tried to stop him, but he was too excited."- (Y/N) joked and everybody chuckled.

- "You are radian, (Y/N)! How many weeks?"- JJ hugged my wife and stared at her with a massive smile

- "Sixteen and counting."

- "How's the little guy doing?"- Rossi asked Jennifer, making her smile filled with pride right away.

- "Oh, he's good. He's sleeping through the night for now, at least. Oh, and, Spence, I showed him the picture of when you first visited and he started kicking his little legs and he smiled real big!"- JJ looked excited as she kept talking to me, and Rossi grabbed my face and squeezed my cheeks.

- "Who wouldn't get excited seeing that bella faccia?"

- "I think he wants to see you. You should visit us this weekend. With Raven, of course."

- "We would love to go."- (Y/N) replied and held my hand very tight.

- "You know, studies have shown that babies begin exhibiting cognizable nonverbal communication within days of birth."- I was about to add something else when JJ shook her head and looked at Pen.

- "And some things never change."- so I guessed she preferred that I stopped rambling, she always complained when I did.

- "Yeah. And some things do, and because of that, we took the liberty of doing... this"- Garcia walked JJ to her desk and showed her all the framed pictures she had set there.

- "You guys, I love it. It's... it's perfect. Thank you, all of you."- JJ paused for a second and looked over Hotch's office. He and Morgan were having a serious conversation locked in there. - "Almost all of you."

- "They're debriefing."- Rossi explained and grabbed one of the citron bottles Garcia had brought.- "But we can toast in the meantime."

And so we did. We toasted and drank for JJ and her kids. In the back of my head, I kept thinking that now that she was back, I could take a few days to visit my mom and put an eye on her, maybe talk with some other doctors to review her treatment.

Our celebration ended when Rossi's daughter, Joy, entered the FBI with a case. It started like an investigation she was writing for Esquire, and she ended up discovering a pattern of young women's abductions from colleges from all over the country.

Morgan and I drove to campus and talked with one of the victim's friends, who had seen the last one to see her, 'cos they had been to a party together. That helped us retrace her last movements. Then, me and JJ were sent to the street to try to find a clue as to where that poor girl had been abducted, or by who. We had a suspect on camera, but no name, no nothing.

My phone rang when JJ and I were walking through a lonely alley. It was from my mother's doctor's office. I hung up and texted that I was calling back later. And of course, that didn't go unnoticed by JJ.

- "Everything ok?"

- "Actually, no. My mom's not doing so well. The doctors have had to change her medicine three times to try to stabilize the schizophrenia."- I simply said it 'cos I didn't want to talk much about it. I knew she wasn't going to let that go if I didn't tell her what was going on.

- "Spence, why didn't you say anything?"

- "Well, (Y/N) and I have been talking about going to see her, but I don't want her to travel in her condition. And we've been so busy at work and with Raven..."

- "But why didn't you tell me? You know you can trust me. I'm your friend."

- "I didn't want to bother you."- which was true: I didn't want to tell her 'cos she was on maternity leave until that morning, besides, it was a delicate issue and I just wanted to talk about it with my wife.

- "Ok."- she held my arm and stood in front of me. - "That's never possible. Got it?"- I nodded and looked at her, trying to smile.- "How long has this been going on?"

- "It's gotten really bad in the last few weeks."

- "Look, the minute we are done here, you need to go help her. She needs you."

- "I know. (Y/N) and I already talked with Hotch this morning. As soon as the case is done, I'll fly to Vegas."- JJ nodded and smiled, but it felt forced somehow.- "But right now, we need to focus on the case, alright ?"

It's not that I didn't value JJ's friendship, but I didn't feel like opening up with her at that moment. We had to work, and me and my wife had already talked about what we had to do, and how to do it. We had our plan. I just needed to execute it.

Sometimes I still felt JJ treated me like a kid, like the first few years I worked with the FBI. She no longer tried to make me eat greens or comment on my outfits, but from time to time she had those moments where she'd treat me like a kid brother who needed a grown-up's guidance. And honestly, I hated it. We were friends, we supported each other, but I didn't need her to patronize me.

That was one of the main reasons why I had taken a step aside in my friendship with JJ. I wasn't mad at her or anything and I still loved working with her. But since she had baby Michael, we weren't spending as much time with her and Will as we used to. They didn't have as much time as they used to either, they had two kids. And back then we were spending a lot of our free time with Morgan and Savannah and with Lu and her boyfriend.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I knew Spencer didn't want to leave us alone, but he had to visit his mom. She needed him, and we had a big net of support. I could handle a few days on my own with Raven. Even four months pregnant. So, as soon as the case was done, he got into a plane to visit Diana.

Raven and I planned our whole week to the T. We had sleepovers every night on our bed, watched movies, read stories together to her sister or brother, and played with her dolls. Mikey, Lu, and Frank visited us, and they called us daily to know if we needed anything. And Spencer video called us every single night, right before Raven's bedtime. He would ask about our day, and what she had done, if she had fun at school (she was already in preschool, and she loved everything about it). He would also read her a short story to help her sleep and then talk to me for a while.

Diana was not getting better. In fact, things got worse when Spencer was in Las Vegas, which is why one week turned into two and soon into three.

- "I'm so sorry, chipmunk."- my husband whispered through the line. It was late at night, Raven was already asleep and sound in our bed, and I was having one last cup of tea on the phone with Spencer.

- "It's ok, honey bunny. We miss you like crazy, but we are fine. It's your mom I'm worried about."

- "Well, things are not looking so good here. I got the results of the test today."- my heart stopped with those words, and I could feel the pain in Spencer's words as he confessed the truth. - "She has an early onset of dementia. Most likely Alzheimer."

- "Honey..."- everything and anything I could have told him that minute was completely useless. I heard him sobbing at the other side of the line as tears fell from my eyes.

- "And I can't help her, no matter what I do. I can't."- he mumbled through the line. My arms hurt 'cos I couldn't hug him, and I didn't want my husband, the love of my life, crying alone in some hotel, when he had a wife who could comfort him.

- "I'm so sorry. So sorry, Spencer."

- "The worst part of it all is thinking this can all happen to me as well. I could carry the same gene. I might start forgetting all our memories. One day I could not recognize our own kids."

- "Spencer, don't."- I tried to stop that train of thought, but it was clearly too late for that, my husband's mind had gone to the darkest places.

- "And there's nothing I can do about it either, I mean, there is no cure for dementia. Some medication might delay it a few years at best, but I'm doomed."

- "Spencer, stop. Don't think that. You don't know what's gonna happen. You can't think that right now. You need to focus on your mom. You have to help her. There is still time to help her."

Spencer sighed and wiped his nose. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, he just tried to calm himself down as I whispered how much I loved him, and how proud I was of him.

- "You are an amazing son, honey. You do everything you can to make sure your mother is healthy and fine."- I knew I was telling him the truth, but I also knew nothing I could say to him would ever help him feel better.

- "It's not enough."- he whispers and breaks into tears again.

- "No hon, you will always keep trying to do better, 'cos it's your mom we are talking about. But you can't do miracles."

I will never forget the day he told me he felt he had failed in life as a genius because his plan to find the cure to schizophrenia before turning 25 never came true. We were just friends back then, and I remember I hugged him tight on my couch and heard him weep. The effect of hearing him sobbing on the other side of the country was just as heartbreaking then as it was before. I loved Spencer so much I couldn't stand him being sad or in pain. I much rather suffer myself than know he was unhappy.

- "I'm sorry, ma cherie. I'm bringing you down."

- "Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive."- I quoted Charlotte Bronte and I could almost see his smile as I did.

- "You've been reading a lot in my absence?"

- "I try, but reading alone it's not as fun as reading with you."

- "I'll come home soon, ma cherie."

- "Come home when your mom is feeling better. We'll be here, waiting for you with your favorite dinner and a million hugs and kisses."

- "How is the baby?"

- "Kicking my bladder is their favorite game apparently."- Spencer didn't say anything, he made a long pause and finally sighed.

- "I'll come home this week. I can't be far from my family for too long."

- "Why don't you bring your mother with you? She is part of this family."

- "No chipmunk, she has to stay here with the doctors. They have to take care of her, monitor her, and analyze the meds they are giving her."- Spencer didn't hesitate to decline my suggestion.

- "Promise me you will take her home with us if it's needed. She can stay with us, Raven loves her."- my husband paused and sighed one more time, before telling me the complete truth.

- "My mother hasn't been much herself in the last couple of days. And I'm afraid to bring her home to you and Raven."- I knew Diana had been violent but I never understood how much. For years I inferred she had never been aggressive with Spencer during her episodes when he was young, but when my husband hesitated to bring her around our own daughter, that's when I realized she was in fact, out of herself.

- "Just don't leave her alone if she still needs you."- I whispered and rubbed my belly. - "We miss you, but we know you're doing the right thing."

- "Thank you, chipmunk. Mom asked about you today."

- "Did she? Really?"- I got super excited with the news and even a little emotional, and I blame the hormones for my reaction.

- "Yes, she said of all the things I had accomplished in life, having you as my wife was the best of them."

- "Diana is such a wise woman."

- "That's true, my love."

Four days later, Spencer was back home. During that time, I spent most of my time at the BAU with Penelope and Raven. Our dear friend was currently living there, and of course, she was miserable. A band of hitmen was after her, there was no way she was enjoying her forced stay at Quantico. Which is why Raven and I spent as much time with her as possible. We baked her cupcakes and had a tea party with her in her room, which was actually an old office. Hotch joined us, which was adorable because he was always a sweetheart with Raven. He even wore the tiara Raven gave him.

- "How is my boy wonder?"- Pen asked as she poured a cup of real tea for me. I cut her a short smile and I guess that was enough for her, 'cos she read me right away. - "That bad, eh?"

- "I'm glad he is on his way back home. I've missed him so much."- I whispered and looked at Raven, having a tea party with Hotch. - "And birdie misses him as well."

- "She looks so much like him. She's a tiny carbon copy of her dad."- I chuckled and nodded. I've always said little Raven is exactly like her dad in every single way.

- "Same eyes and wild hair."- I added and Pen smiled.- "I wonder if the next baby will look a little like me."

- "When will you know what you are having?"

- "We have a scheduled check-up next week. I wanna ask the doctor then."

After another half hour, I drove home. We let Garcia get ready for dinner, and I wanted to cook something nice for my husband. His flight was scheduled to arrive at DC at seven, which meant he'd be home after right. Raven and I stopped to get groceries and cooked dinner for Spencer.

Our daughter was incredibly excited to wait up for her dad, after her bedtime. She refused to go to bed until she kissed him welcome back home. My heart melted when I heard her rambling nonstop about all the things she wanted to show her dad. She listed all her dolls, her books, and the drawings she had made during his absence. Raven was honestly hyped waiting for Spencer, which is why when we heard the key in the door, she ran to welcome her dad as fast as her little legs allowed her to run.

- "Daddy!!!"- she yelled and literally threw her arms around him as soon as she saw him. Spencer kneeled and hugged her tight, carrying her in his arms and kissing her chubby cheeks over and over again.

- "I missed you so much, baby girl."

- "I missed you too, Daddy!"- I stared at them with tears in my eyes as my husband looked at me with a big smile.

- "Come here, chipmunk."- he opened his arms and hugged me too, kissing my temple and making me feel at home, finally safe in his arms.

- "Just as promised, we are waiting for you with your favorite dinner."- I announced after kissing his lips softly, hearing Raven arguing we were gross.

- "Chicken tandoori?"

- "Homemade chicken tandoori."- I corrected and watched his smile grow bigger.

- "I missed you so much, ma cherie."

- "I missed you too, honey bunny. Welcome back home."

Spencer's point of view

It took three bedtime stories to put Raven down to sleep. She kept telling me everything she had done during my absence. She remembered everything, down to the t. (Y/N) and I looked at each other, knowing where that could go. We had our suspicions, but we didn't want to run any tests on our daughter just yet. She was only three years old, and she deserved to enjoy her childhood like any other kid would. Like I never did.

After three stories and a long conversation, Raven finally fell asleep. I kissed her forehead and stood up from her bed slowly. (Y/N) held my hand as we walked out of her room and into ours.

- "I can't believe you are finally...-"- she couldn't even finish talking after shutting our bedroom door, because I assaulted her lips. I crushed them with mine and kissed her like I had dreamed of kissing her the entire time I had been away. I don't think I had been far from her for so long before, and I swear, I didn't want to repeat it ever again.

- "Mine."- I whispered as my lips moved from her lips to her neck, biting and sucking to leave a mark. (Y/N) giggled as I did, and then moaned, a sound I could never ever get tired of.

I felt her hands unbuttoning my shirt as we continued kissing. I couldn't take my hands off my wife, and I quickly started getting her naked as well. I stared at her soft skin as I nearly ripped the t-shirt she wore that day, and quickly connected my lips to her skin one more time.

- "I missed you so much."- she whispered as she tangled her fingers in my hair.

- "Trust me, I missed you more."- I groaned and unzipped her pants quickly.

- "Sorry the belly got so big while you were gone..."- I don't know why she felt like she needed to apologize for looking so perfectly mine. My hands moved immediately on her skin. I looked at her eyes as I kneeled in front of her, attaching my lips to her belly.

- "You look perfect, ma cherie."

- "I look round and huge."

- "Mine, all mine, carrying my baby for the world to see."- I made my way down her belly until I reached her underwear, and slipped my fingers underneath the fabric.

- "Spe...-" she mumbled but suppressed any sound biting her lips. She knew we had a little daughter in the next room, and she couldn't make a sound.

- "I got you, ma cherie. Let me make you feel good."- she sat on our bed and I followed her, still down on my knees, and hid my face between her tights, a place I could live in. I kissed her inner thighs and made my way to her underwear, which was just starting to look damp.

- "When you said you were gonna wait for me with my favorite dinner, this was what I had in mind."- I whispered and heard her giggle as I pulled down her underwear slowly and attached my lips to her immediately.

- "God... I missed you."- she whispered and gasped as my tongue reached her most sensitive spot. And I didn't reply, just hummed against her and continued eating her like the starved man I was.

I didn't move from between her legs until I felt her cumming all over my face. And once that happened, I climbed to our bed and kissed her.

- "That was..."- but before my wife could praise me, I moved behind her and kissed her neck as I slowly slipped into her, not saying a single word. (Y/N) made the most beautiful muffled noises as she tried not to be too loud, and I entered her carefully, enjoying every single movement.

- "I thought about you every night I was away. And I realized I can't sleep if you are not with me. I couldn't take you off my mind, not even for a minute."- I increased my peace and bit my lips before I started groaning.

- "I thought I was gonna go crazy without you."- I heard my wife whisper, and my lips attached to her neck immediately. One of my hands was still holding her leg, and the other moved underneath her body, trying to touch as much skin as possible. I craved her warm skin all over me.

- "You have a hold on me no one could ever take away."- I murmured in her ear as the noises of our bodies together filled out you.- "I am yours, ma cherie ."- I added and felt her moan, biting her lips.

- "Mine."- she mumbled as I licked her neck after leaving another mark.

- "All yours. Forever."

I treasured that moment because I had had a very hard couple of weeks away from my family. And I had missed my wife beyond sanity. Nothing prepared me for what I was about to live as soon as I set foot back into the BAU. But it was the case that set the clock for our departure from the FBI.

The following morning, when me and my wife sat around the table in the briefing room, Hotch told us they finally had a lead on the band of hitmen that were after Garcia.

- "Brian Cochran from the NSA. I've placed him on 24/7 lockdown at USP Terre Haute. The network has proven that they can kill anyone, anywhere, anytime, and now that they've targeted Garcia, we can't afford to lose another lead."- Hotch explained, and made a short pause before adding. - "Cochran used one of the hitmen to target DEA supervisor Graff."

- "But we can press him on that to get him to cooperate."- Morgan quickly commented, probably ready to go push that man until giving us all the info he had. But Hotch shook his head and explained.

- "Well, fortunately, that won't be necessary. He had a breakdown in solitary confinement and he was already willing to make a deal."

- "We need to go talk to him."- Rossi suggested, but once again, Hotch shook his head.

- "Garcia and I already did."

- "When?"- my wife asked surprised

- "Last night, after you left."- Pen explained- "We video-conferenced with him. He was limited in what he could tell us about the hit people. He didn't know their names, but he did know all of their areas of expertise."

- "How specific do they get? Most successful hitmen are basically just Swiss army knives of murder."- I asked and my wife chuckled at my analogy.

- "Well, take the O.G. hit guy who got us into this mess, Giuseppe Montolo. Remember him?"- Garcia started explaining.- "He was a genius at making hits look like an accident. The others, depend on what you're looking for. Take the guy that's still out there who's responsible for shooting poor Mr. Graff. He's known simply as the sniper. He can make a T-zone shot from over 2,000 meters."

- "Which means he's ex-military. Not necessarily ours, but he's definitely trained."- Morgan pointed out and we all nodded.

- "So who's number two?"- Tara asked and Garcia quickly answered.

- "That would be the chemist. He works with poison. He specializes in hits that don't leave a trace.

- "He sounds delightful."- Rossi said, staring at the screen.

- "I know, right? I feel they'd be a hit at any party."- (Y/N) added, nodding.- "What about number 3?"

- "Well, that would be the bomber. According to Cochran, he's responsible for this. It's a chemical fire in Tianjin, China."

- "What supposedly happened there?"- (Y/N) asked, watching the scenes on the screen.

- "Apparently a bureaucrat didn't pay his bribe on time."- Garcia whispered, refusing to look at the images.

- "You know that's conspiracy theory garbage."- JJ pointed out, and Hotch immediately replied.

- "But what is credible is Cochran's insistence that he was trained by Mossad. Jack Garrett's following up on leads."

- "That leaves us with number 4, the one with the highest body count of them all."

- "And who's that?"- until this day I regret asking that question.

- "Miss 45."- Pen answered. - "By far one of the most lethal of them all. She is basically a black widow."

- "Just what every bunch needs, some girl power."- (Y/N) added and turned to me with a short smile. I rubbed her stomach as we all heard Rossi's question.

- "How do we get them?"

- "That's why we need the snowman."- the way Garcia said those words made me feel we should have known what she was talking about. But none of us actually did.

- "Great. So who's this Snowman jagoff?"- Rossi asked, frowning.

- "Cochran says he's the I.T. expert. He's the key to the whole network."- Hotch explained.

- "But if he set it up, he's not just gonna tear it down because we ask nicely."- Morgan added. And that was when Hotch dropped the plot twist.

- "He will because he was kidnapped by one of the hitmen and held against his will in a safe house."

- "I wonder how that feels."- Pen whispered and my wife quickly reached for her hand on the table. I knew (Y/N) had spent a lot of time with Garcia while I was gone, not only because she was home alone, but because she knew our friend was clearly going through a very rough path and she needed all the love she could get from her friends.

- "Even if they have him under duress, he's still gonna be impossible to find." - JJ suggested, not being very positive about the whole deal.

- "We will find him with this."- Hotch took what seemed to be a pen from his pocket, but instead, it was a flash drive. None of us said a word 'cos none of us understood what he was talking about. So he explained.

- "This flash drive will give us access to a specific shadow of the Darknet. It came to our possession after we arrested Cochran, and we will use it to localize the safe house."

And so we did.

The following day, we had successfully rescued the snowman, whose name was in fact Barry Winslow, and who ended up being nothing but a poor teenager, lost and forced to work for a hit men's net. We sat around the table with him and tried to get as much information as possible.

- "I can't tell you much about them. It's not like we had a lot of heart-to-heart conversations while they handcuffed me to a computer."- Barry shrugged and looked at us, already defeated, but still willing to cooperate.

- "Do you know any of their names?"- (Y/N) asked him with a warm smile, probably trying to reassure him whatever the answer was, it was ok.

- "No. But I know their bank accounts."

- "How long do you think we have before the other two realize the network's been compromised?"- I asked him-

- "Two days, maybe. They like being independent contractors, so they always work jobs separately. And they rely on me to coordinate all their online traffic."

- "Which I can help fake."- Garcia added and looked at the poor kid.

- "Yeah. We have the facade covered on our end, but they also have back-channel communications that I can't account for. Especially the bomber."- the snowman explained, and Rossi frowned at his words right away.

- "Why him?"

- "I don't know. All I know is when they would rotate watching over me, he never showed."

- "I know why."- JJ added- "He's paranoid. Most explosive experts are. Blow everything up, you live in fear that you're next."

- "We need to find a way to get to the hitwoman."- (Y/N) stated and looked at the team. - "It's the only way to end this whole mess. If we can take her alive, she'll lead us to the bomber."

- "And to do it, we have to give her a target worth coming out of hiding for."- Hotch said, letting us know he had a plan to get her.

- "That means me, doesn't it?"- Garcia whispered and Morgan immediately shook his head.

- "No."- Hotch didn't even hesitate. He just answered right away, not moving a muscle.

- "Sir..."

- "Garcia, that's not gonna happen."- Morgan interrupted her.- "It's too dangerous to leave you out there exposed like that."

- "You have a record of all the kills she was paid for?"- Aaron asked the snowman.

- "I have records of everything."

- "All right. Even a contract killer can have a victimology, a pattern of which she's not aware. We need to find that."

(Y/N)'s point of view

Hotch asked JJ, Spencer, and I to his office that afternoon. Pen had gone through all the targets "Miss 45" had gone after, Spencer and Hotch went through the information, and now they had a plan. A plan I was sure I was gonna hate, only by the worried look in their eyes.

- "These three hits"- Spencer left the files on Aaron's desk and continued talking - "They were all men who wanted to kill their wives."

- "Ok, really can't blame her for doing that."- I mumbled as I took a look at the files, along with Hotch.

- "That's the oldest motivation in the book. Why are they special?"- JJ asked and Spencer explained immediately.

- "She took their money, then killed the men who hired her."

- "All three of them had children."- Hotch pointed out

- "Maybe children are the line hitmen won't cross?"

- "A hitwoman with morals? Seems unlikely."- I refuted JJ's theory as my husband nodded.

- "The chemist and the sniper both performed jobs that involved families. Theoretically, if the price is high enough, a hitman shouldn't have morals. I think these kills are personal to her. Personal enough to risk double-crossing her contract."

- "She is trying to kill someone who hurt her, over and over again."- I added and my husband agreed with me.

- "Maybe something similar happened to her."- Hotch looked at my husband, like knowing what he was about to say. Which he probably knew, in fact.

- "And that's how we get her to come to the table. I pretend to be that kind of client."- Spencer turned to me with an apologetic look in his eyes and JJ didn't even make a sound.

- "What? No! No way!"- I lost it in a second. I was not gonna let my husband be human bate for a serial killer. Not again!

- "Chipmunk, it's the only way we can end this. We have to do it. For Garcia, she needs us."

- "But why you? Why not Morgan?"

- "I'm closer in age, if things don't work, you know she could be more likely to collaborate with a peer."- I stared at Spencer in silence, trying to rearrange the thoughts in my head.

- "How do we know that's gonna work?"- Hotch asked and I opened my eyes. He was in fact considering letting Spencer do that.

- "We don't. It's a calculated risk based on her M.O., which is categorically different than the men."- my husband explained and avoided eye contact with me. He was serious about his suggestions. And I was seriously mad at him for even considering doing something so dangerous.

- "They're cold, clinical, long-distance. She's up close and personal."- JJ added.

- "She knows that she has to be more careful because she actually wants to kill her targets. I'm going to pretend to be a husband who wants his pregnant wife dead."

- "Your pregnant wife wants to kill you right now."- I crossed my arms on my chest, deadpan. - "I can't believe you wanna risk yourself like that!"

- "There will be no risk, chipmunk. I'll just contact her, and set the right meeting spot. A bar or a restaurant we control, so the odds are better of us taking her alive."

- "No."- I replied and bit my lips.

- "Chipmunk, it's our best strategy."

- "But there is one flaw."- Hotch looked at me and at my husband.

- "One? Just one?"- I nearly yelled and opened my eyes, frustrated.

- "We can't let your wife and kid be in danger."- Hotch finished his sentence ignoring my outburst and for once, I wanted to hit him.

- "I am not moving into Penelope's room!"- I argued right away.- "And you are not doing this!"- I added, staring at my husband.

- "Can we talk outside for a moment?"- Spencer walked me to the door and headed to the briefing room in silence. I followed him quietly, holding my 24 weeks belly in a useless attempt to regain my composure. But as soon as Spencer closed the door behind our backs, I lost it and raised my voice.

- "Are you out of your mind?!"

- "Chipmunk...."

- "Why do you always do the same? You put yourself at risk! Do you wanna get hurt? Do you wanna leave me alone?"

- "Ma cherie... No."- he stood in front of me and held both my arms, trying to calm me down.- "Please breathe and hear me out. Nothing is going to happen to me."

- "Of course not! Because you are not going!"- I stated and Spencer sighed, looking right into my eyes. I had to bite my lips not to burst out crying out of frustration right there, but my eyes watered up and betrayed me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

- "(Y/N)..."

- "No, I don't want you to expose yourself like this!"

- "It's the only way to help Garcia, and it's a calculated risk. I know nothing will happen, the team will be there watching my back the entire time."

- "She is a serial killer! And you wanna meet her for dinner!"

- "Look at me, chipmunk."- Spencer moved one of his hands from my arm to my cheek and caressed my skin softly as his other hand rested on my tummy. - "I am not gonna get hurt and nothing bad will happen, I swear."

I took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from falling. Spencer kissed my cheek and didn't say another word for a moment, just trying to comfort me with his presence.

- "I'm scared."- I whispered and Spencer shook his head.- "I know you say there is nothing to worry about, but I am worried all the time. I don't want you to get hurt."

- "I won't, I swear."- I knew that once he was set on doing something, there was no way I could change his mind. - "We have to help Garcia. And I already ran across all the possibilities. This is the plan with the higher statistics to work."

- "Does it have to be you?"- I whispered, my voice barely perceptible. Spencer kissed my lips for a second, rubbing his against mine soft and sweetly, melting me. And when he parted, he nodded.

- "But I'll be home that night, safe and sound, and we'll have a warm bath, maybe a late bite, and Garcia will be free to live her life and go back to her house."

Of course, I wanted to help Penelope. I was just afraid of what could happen to my husband. But I knew there was nothing I could do or say to change his mind.

- "Just don't get hurt, ok?"- I mumbled and Spencer held my chin, raising my face and reaching my lips one more time.

- "As you wish, Mrs. Reid."

Spencer's point of view

Date night with a serial killer was not what I was hoping for that Friday evening. But it was what I had to face. As I got ready to leave, my wife, Garcia, and I did all the research we could on my lethal date. Starting with her name.

- "Foster care records locked, loaded, and searchable."- Penelope announced as she sat in front of the computer on my desk, ready to hunt Miss 45 down.

- "According to the emails she sent me setting up tonight, her name is Cat. So let's assume her name is Catherine."- I said as I tied my tie like my father-in-law taught me to do the day of my wedding.

- "Give me more."- Pen said typing

- "Suspicious death for mom, and her dad most likely went away for manslaughter."- I continued enumerating as my wife stared at me from her desk, where she was sitting in silence.

- "Keep it coming."- Garcia commanded.

- "Rampant abuse. She would have been in a world of pain."

- "Sadly that does not rule out any Catherines."

- "Her first kills were most likely in the foster environment."- (Y/N) suggested and I nodded immediately.

- "Cross-reference all those families the Catherines went into with accidental deaths of foster dads, and focus on those that have multiple abuse complaints leveled against them."

The computer dinged and a picture appeared on the screen. The three of us stared at it in silence for a moment

- "Catherine Adams."- I said and turned to my wife.

- "She is cute."- I heard (Y/N) whisper and I immediately frowned.

- "What?"- her words confused me. I knew she didn't want me to expose myself to any risk, but I never imagined she could be jealous at any level.

- "I said she is pretty."- she whispered and moved to her desk to grab something that ended up being my bottle of perfume. She sprayed me with it and fixed the neck of my shirt.

- "Ma cherie..."

- "You look very handsome."

- "You do know this is not a real date, right?"- somehow it felt necessary to point that out all of a sudden. - "I am not going out with her because I want to."

- "I know."- she replied and looked away from me.

- "Come here."- I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her nose. All the things I wasn't supposed to do at the bullpen. - "You are the only girl I wanna take out on date night, ok?"

- "I know."- she mumbled and looked down at her hands as she fixed my tie.

- "I'll pick you up in a while, ok?"

- "No, I'm coming with you."- she replied immediately.

- "No, you are staying here. This is not up for debate. I am not taking my pregnant wife to the same room with a serial killer."

- "I don't know if you knew this, but that's what we do for a living, Spencer. I am going."

- "I will not be able to focus if I know you are there. You'll be a distraction."- the deadpan stare in my wife's eyes was serious, but I was not gonna change my mind. Thankfully, Hotch walked over and commanded her to stay behind with him and Penelope, following every movement from the restaurant cameras.

- "Adam changed location at the last minute. We can't be too cautious, Reid."- and by Reid, Hotch meant my wife, who was looking incredibly frustrated and annoyed.

- "I'll be back as soon as possible."- I said and kissed her cheek. She sighed and nodded.- "I love you, ma cherie."

- "I love you too, honey bunny."

- "I'll make breakfast for you and Birdie tomorrow morning, so think what you'll have. You can pick hotcakes or waffles."- I said, trying to ease the mood, and (Y/N) cut me a short smile, nodding.

- "Don't forget the rose."- my wife whispered and handed me the flower.

- "Thank you, ma cherie."

That night could only get worse, I could feel it.

I arrived at the restaurant and the hostess walked me to my table. I had made reservations for two under the name of "Spencer." As soon as I sat down, I left the rose next to me on the table and looked around, trying to calm myself down. Looking nervous was ok, I was supposed to be a little nervous if I was meeting a serial killer to get rid of my pregnant wife. Just, how nervous was I supposed to look?

- "Spencer?"- a woman's voice called my name and I quickly turned around to find Cat Adam standing right next to me, with a big smile on her face.

- "Cat."

- "Hi."- her smile only grew as she stared at me. I quickly stood up to shake her hand and chuckled nervously.

- "Hello. Hi. Hi."

- "Nice to finally..."- she opened her arms and tried to hug me and I immediately took a few steps back.

- "Oh...sorry, I have a... a germ thing."- I explained, sounding as apologetic as possible.

- "Oh!"- she moved back and raised her hands in surrender.

- "I'm kind of weird with hu... hugs."- I even stuttered.

- "Sorry."- neither of us said a thing for a few seconds, we just stared at each other, maybe reading each other's body language. I smiled at her, honestly nervous. I've never been much of an actor and right there I was playing the role of my life.

- "Can I sit down?"- Cat asked and giggled as I chuckled and pointed at the armchair next to her

- "Yes, please. Yeah. Of course. Sit down."- and as we both did, and she took off her jacket, we fell into another uncomfortable silence. Which was good, I wanted to show her how nervous and vulnerable I was.

- "First time doing this?"- she asked me a few seconds later, and I rushed to answer.

- "Yeah. I mean, yeah."

- "Yeah, I... I still get nervous, too."- she assured me, trying to be empathic. Note: sociopaths have zero empathy whatsoever. There were no chances she could ever honestly try to make me feel any better.

- "Really, it wasn't until an hour ago that I was like, wait, we've been trading emails back and forth, but I still have no idea what this guy looks like."

- "Hence the..."- I interrupted her speech, pointing at the rose next to her.

- "I know. And then I was like, wait, he's going to bring a red rose, so we need to go to a nicer place, which is why I switched the restaurant last-minute..."- she continued rambling.

- "Not a problem at all."- I assured her, trying to look a little more calm. But honestly, I was very nervous. I know I had to act awkward and nervous, but that's how I felt. That woman sat across from me was a threat to a friend and potentially my family. She had to be put behind bars as soon as possible.

- "And now I need to change and put something nice on for this place, 'cause I was totally underdressed, and my whole wardrobe makes me look like a Kardashian."- I narrowed my eyes as I looked at her and she paused her words.- "You know know who that is, do you?"

- "No, oh, yeah, Robert Kardashian. He got O.J. Simpson off."- I explained quickly. - "You...you don't look like his daughters."

- "Yeah, no, I was making a joke about them."

- "No, it was good. It was a good joke."- I chuckled and smiled, trying to look natural.

- "No, it wasn't.

- "It was funny.

There was a long pause. No one said a thing, and I couldn't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong that night. If she knew who I was if she didn't want to willingly, if she had a partner in the room as I had my own backups. All the possibilities. There was too much at stake to take things lightly.

- "Can we start over?"- Cat asked me, breaking the silence and cutting me a warm smile- "Hi, I'm Cat."

- "Hi, hi, I'm... I'm Spencer."- I chuckled, still looking awkward and nervous, and she nodded.

- "It really is nice to meet you, in person, finally."- she said those words in a sweeter tone of voice, trying to look nonthreatening and honest.

- "It's nice to meet you."- I assured her right away.

- "Tell me a little bit about yourself. Do you really have three Ph. D.s?"

- "Yes. I... yeah, I do, I have three Ph.D.s."

- "What was your favorite book that you read last year?"- Cat continued asking random questions and I instantly replied.

- "Honestly, I've never read a book I didn't love."

- "Tell me about your wife."- and somehow that caught me by surprise. I knew that was what we were going to talk about, but my mind went straight to my real wife. The one that was in fact pregnant with my baby. The one I could never harm.

- "If you don't mind, I'd, uh, I'd rather not talk about her."

- "Might as well get it out in the open, right? That's why we're here. How long have you been married?"

- "Six years."- which was true.

- "When is she due to give birth?"

- "Uh... in a couple of... a couple of months."- and for some reason, I couldn't stop thinking we hadn't actually started working on the nursery yet. My old apartment was getting too small for our growing family.

- "Should we talk about price now, or..."- I leaned in and whispered, making sure it felt like we were talking about a secret.

- "Slow down, tiger. What exactly are we negotiating here?"

- "You know."- I looked around, pretending to be worried someone could hear us.

- "I want to hear you say it."- she answered, almost as a dare. So I moved a little closer and whispered.

- "To have her killed."- and for some reason, my words excited her. She tried not to smile and bite her lower lip as she kept staring at me, probably reading my reaction.

- "Let me see your ring."- she asked me and I looked down at my hand, where the golden band rested. She moved slowly and grabbed my fingers on the table and fidgeted with the ring, staring at it. - "You know what that is? A noose. Only it doesn't kill you all at once. It kills you slowly, day by day. You ever feel that way?"

- "I feel that way all the time."- I whispered and took a deep breath knowing my wife was hearing that entire conversation.

- "Take it off."- Cat commanded and looked straight into my eyes.

- "Why?"

- "As a sign of your commitment. To me."- I hated doing what she asked, but I felt like I had to. So I took the band off and put it in her hand. It wasn't even my real wedding ring, it was a fake one. I didn't want to use mine 'cause it had (Y/N)'s name scripted in it, and our wedding date. It felt way too intimate. And I didn't want to carry anything that might put her or our babies in danger.

- "We have you over her left shoulder. Do you copy?"- I heard Hotch's voice in my ear. I took a quick look at the security camera and nodded. - "All right, all agents stand by. Dr. Reid will give the green light. Don't move until we have it."

But as Hotch organized the team, Cat kept analyzing my fake wedding ring.

- "Twenty karat?"- she asked me and I hummed. - "24k times... six years means this ring should be dinged and nicked. But the sucker is brand-new. You are a liar."

Shit.

I kept my eyes on her and didn't move a facial muscle. That was when I heard the gun click underneath the table and I knew things were not going to go as smoothly as planned. I wasn't going to make it back home in time for dinner and Raven's bedtime. Again.

- "Why are we here, Spencer?"- Cat asked, looking annoyed. And I was glad I could drop the act.

- "We're here because you belong to a network of four hitmen who've been operating in the shadows of the Internet. You're known as Miss 45. My team and I have been hunting for months, and I knew that if I boxed you in, I could arrest you with as little resistance as possible."

My voice was just a whisper in the room, but I knew she could hear every single word loud and clear.

- "Your team being the behavioral analysis unit of the FBI?"- Cat questioned with a cocky smile. My heart skipped a beat when I realized she knew who we were. That meant she knew us all.

- "You guys are good. You're the only one that got close to us. But we got kind of close to you, too, didn't we?"- Cat kept her eyes glued to me as she said - "Hi, Penelope."

If she knew who we were, she knew who I was married to. And that was the only thing that raised my heart that minute. That woman had to pay for what she had done.

- "Do you know why I'm so good at my job?"- she asked, proudly.

- "Because you kill without compunction or remorse."- I replied without hesitation.

- "That only gets a girl so far in life. No, it's because I think through every potential outcome and then I plan accordingly. You see, I didn't walk into your trap. You walked into mine."

(Y/N)'s point of view

I paced in Garcia's office as I watched my husband being basically set up with a delusional serial killer who knew exactly who he was, and why he was there and had a gun pointing at him underneath the table. I felt nauseous just to think of all the bad things that could happen to him.

Neither Hotch or Penelope said a word. The two of them kept staring at the screen. And I, for once, couldn't even watch.

- "Where's your head, Spencer? What are you thinking about?"- I heard Cat's annoying voice talking to my husband.

- "I was thinking about entropy."- he replied. Always the smartest person in the room. - "It's the thermodynamic measure of the degradation of matter and energy in the universe. To put it another way..."- there was a pause that forced me to stare at the screen. Cat had scooted over in the booth and she was not basically touching Spencer, looking for his gun in his clothes. Her hands were all over him. I wanted to puke.

- "Good evening."- a waiter interrupted them, and for a moment, I had hope. But Cat dismissed him in a second.

- "Hi, uh, you know what? We've been having so much fun getting to know one another, we'll let you know when we're ready, ok?"

And my husband couldn't even move.

- "Now that we got that out of the way, will you do me a favor and tell Blondie McBlonderson over there at the bar to disappear."

- "What?"- the question popped out of my lips as I moved closer to the screen to take a better look. - "How did she know that was one of our agents?"- Hotch turned to me and raised an eyebrow, reminding me I had to stay quiet, 'cos everything I said, my husband heard, and he had to remain calm. I couldn't freak him out.

- "JJ, stand down."- Hotch commanded and I turned to him, ready to slap him.

- "Are you serious?"- and he didn't reply. Instead, he just stared at me and I bit my lips.

- "Thanks for playing, sweetie."- Cat waved at JJ as she passed by their table and Garcia held my hand, probably to stop me from losing it. I wanted to yell at JJ that she had been stupid, too obvious sitting there, alone at the bar, staring at my husband the entire time. She hadn't been subtle. It's like she wanted to get caught. But I didn't say a word, thankfully.

- "If she learns how many agents we have outside, she'll start shooting. Dave, get ready to take her out."- Hotch instructed and I watched Rossi on another screen sipping his drink in approval. - "Reid, do not let her get up from the table."

- "All right, you're in charge."- Spencer said in a very low and serious voice, as Cat stared at him with pure hate coming from her eyes - "Tell me what you want and I'll see if I can get it here for you."

- "Anything I want?"

- "Anything you want."- he assured her.

- "Like a million dollars in unmarked bills, maybe a plane to Aruba?"

- "Is that what you want?"

- "And you'll say you'll bring it here, but the real plan is to distract me from what is, I'm sure, an impressive law enforcement response just outside that door. Is that the plan?"- something bothered me. Something else, besides the entire situation. Something made things even worse at that point. And at that minute I realized, Cat Adams was flirting with my husband. And he had no idea what was going on.

- "That's the plan."- he even cut her a little charming smile, which I knew was going to encourage her to continue.

- "Ok, let's talk, but let's talk about something interesting, at least. Tell me about me."- bitch was the classic narcissist sociopath. A part of me knew I should be sorry for her, but I just hated her even more.

- "You? You're a black widow hitwoman. You specialize in seduction and you're patient."- Spencer started his speech, eyes glued to her. - "You learn everything you can about the men you're hired to kill, physically, psychologically, and emotionally because you want them in as compromised a position as possible so they don't see it coming when you pull the trigger."

- "And when I do it really well, they pull the trigger themselves."- that bitch was beyond crazy. - "Give me your phone."- she asked and Spencer raised an eyebrow.

- "Why?"

- "Because I know what I want now. I want to play a game with you. You like games?"

- "I do."- my husband answered calmly.

- "Do you win?"

- "I always win."- he didn't even hesitate, and that cunt was staring at him like he was a three-course dinner, and she was ready to fucking feast.

- "Give it to me."- and Spencer complied. - "Ok, here's my game. You have thirty minutes to answer every question I ask. And if you lie, I'll know. Because I've spent the past ten years of my life studying men and their lies before I kill them. Do you believe me?"

- "I do."

- "That was true. You're getting this. Now, here's how we'll know who wins at the end of thirty minutes. If you win, you'll drag me out of here in handcuffs. But if I win, you will escort me out like a gentleman, to make sure I exit safely. What do you say, Spencer? Think you can win this one?"

Spencer moved closer to her across the table and whispered loud and clear.

- "Considering everything you've put Garcia and so many people through, you're going to have to shoot me in the face before you walk out of here."

- "That would make (Y/N) really angry at me, and it's not safe for her to get mad if she is already six months pregnant, right?"

Garcia turned to me with her mouth open as I stared at the screen not believing my own ears. In all the years we had been working with the FBI that was the very first time a serial killer had investigated me and my personal life before we even got to them.

Spencer didn't move a muscle, he just stared at her looking unimpressed.

- "What do you want to ask me?"- Spencer questioned as if her words hadn't meant a thing to him. Good. Never show a serial killer they have any power over you.

- "How you found me, of course. A professional learns from her mistakes."- that cocky bitch.

- "We got our big break in the case at the end of last year. I didn't learn how big until I came back from some time off."

- "Why'd you take time off?"- oh no...

- "Irrelevant. We got to work a few days ago and our team chief had some new information on the case..."

- "Stop."- Cat interrupted him, looking annoyed.

- "What?"

- "You didn't tell me why you took time off."

- "It's not relevant."

- "That's not the game. The game is you answer every question I ask."- my husband stared at her as if she was just wasting his time. Which I think got her angrier. - "Is it a secret?"

- "No."

- "Is it dirty?"

- "No."

- "Then tell me."- she basically begged, making my blood boil.

- "It's not important to your story."

- "Out of curiosity, is it me you don't want to tell or the people listening in? Does your wife know why you had to take some time off?"

- "Of course I know, bitch."- I whispered and clenched my fist. Spencer didn't seem affected by her words, one more time, and just looked at the timer on his phone and asked:

- "Is this really how you want to spend your 30 minutes?"

- "Yes."- Spencer didn't move and Cat finally gave in. - "No. Ok, so you were saying you showed up for work that morning and..."

- "We learned that someone unexpectedly decided to talk."

- "And who would that be?"

- "Brian Cochran from the NSA."

Spencer continued explaining to Cat Adams how we had managed to get to her, after all those months, and she seemed to be hypnotized by him. She didn't look away, she didn't move from her chair. She was drooling, looking at him as he spoke. Great. Just what I needed, a psycho killer crushed on my husband.

- "That only left us with the fourth killer, the one with the highest body count of them all."- Spencer explained and Cat smiled.

- "Me."

- "Yes."

- "Wow, that was really impressive."- Cat smiled ironically- "Yeah, the way you just made all those brilliant deductions with all that information that was just handed to you on a silver platter. Quick question, are you guys really profilers or are you just lucky? Because this, what I'm about to say is profiling."- she cleared her throat and smugly said: - "The reason you took time off from work was to deal with a fight with your wife."

- "No."

- "The death of a parent, then."

- "No."- there was a slight hesitation in Spencer's voice, and that bitch noticed.

- "Ah, hello, I'm getting close. It's mom or dad in the billiard room with the candlestick."- Spencer deadpanned her, but that seemed to make her incredibly happy. I hated that bitch more and more with every passing second.

- "Oh, you're mad at me, aren't you?"- she teased him.

- "Not even a little bit."- Spencer whispered.

- "Yes, you are, I can tell."

- "No offense, but you're not really worth getting angry at."- Cat didn't reply, she just stared at him right in the eyes in silence for a moment.

- "Please, let me kill her."- I murmured to Hotch, but he didn't say anything.

- "So you figured out what the four of us did, and then what?"- Cat continued asking. That was gonna be the longest thirty minutes of my life.

- "We profiled that you operated as spokes on a wheel. Somehow it had to be centralized, how you got jobs, who paid you. Somebody did all that for you."

- "You found the Snowman, didn't you?"

- "We did. Thanks to the information we got from Cochran and some help from Hotch."

- "I'm confused. What just happened there?"- Cat asked, and Spencer explained what we had done in the last couple of days.

- "When we arrested Cochran, we found a flash drive, one that gave us access to a specific shadow of the Darknet, one we didn't even know existed. Garcia used it to find the website that Snowman set up for all of you. Once we had the website, we had geography, specifically, the safe house you were keeping him in. So we waited until the shift change when we knew we could take two of you down at once."

- "Well, well, well, you took the chemist and the sniper out of commission, huh?"

- "Did you know?"

- "I knew something was off. They didn't bid on some contracts. And this isn't the kind of job where you get to take time off to be with your... mother? Is it your mom? It's gotta be your mom.

- "Isn't this bitch going to let it go?"- I whispered, trying not to get caught by Hotch's microphone.

- "Why'd you take time off from the FBI?"- Cat asked my husband one more time.

- "I'm not gonna tell you."

- "Spencer, why did you take time off from the FBI?"

- "You can ask me as many times as you want, and you can continue to waste your time, but I'm still not gonna tell you."

- "Then you're cheating, and I don't like cheaters."

- "You don't get everything you want just because you're pointing a gun at me under a table. You're not the first killer to point a gun at me. You're not even the first woman to point a gun at me."- Spencer cut her a short smile and simply added - "Sorry."

But somehow, I felt that was exactly what Cat wanted him to say. She was enjoying her time alone with him a little too much.

- "You're really gonna take this all the way, aren't you?"- she asked, very relaxed sitting on the sofa across from my husband. I hated every second Spencer had to spend with her.

- "Yeah."

- "So am I."

- "Dave, go."- Hotch commanded, and Rossi quickly moved from his table.

- "Look at my face. Does it look like I'm bluffing?"

- "I know you're not bluffing."- Spencer replied as she moved closer to him and sat right next to him.

- "I'm gonna ask you one more time. Before you say no, I want you to consider something."- and that was all we heard, 'cos she grabbed Spencer's tie and covered the mic.

- "She muffled the mic!"- Garcia gasped as we heard the static in the room. - "We lost audio."

All we could do was stare at the screen, waiting to see what happened. Cat was still sitting right next to my husband and he, for a second, seemed defeated. What was she saying?

- "Rossi, stand down."- that was the next thing we heard, and I felt a bucket of cold water running down my back.- "Please."- Spencer added and turned to David, almost apologetically. Rossi didn't say a thing, he just did as asked, and walked out of the room.

- "My mom has schizophrenia, and the doctor has changed her medication, which seemed to agitate her, and so I went to the treatment center to help her."- Spencer explained quickly, to get that conversation over with. I knew he didn't like talking with many people about our family issues, especially about his mother. That's why that conversation was especially hard for him.

- "That's it?"- and Cat was clearly disappointed.

- "That's it."

- "You just risked your life over mommy's pills?"

- "It's the truth."- but Cat didn't reply. She stared at him, trying to read him and see what else he was hiding.

- "It's part of the truth. You're holding something back. Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna penalize you by adding 10 minutes. And keep in mind that the only reason you're not dead right now is because I did learn something important."

- "Oh, really? What's that?"

- "Your backup. I flushed them out. It's just you and me now."

- "Guess again, bitch."- Tara whispered, making me smile as she and Morgan toasted at a table on the other side of the restaurant. My husband would never be alone with that psycho.

Spencer's point of view

I knew (Y/N) was having a hard time dealing with what was going on that night. That's why I wanted to end that situation as soon as possible. But of course, Cat wasn't going to make things easy. She kept asking about my time off the bureau. And I honestly didn't want to tell her 'cause I was already having trouble being there. It felt like my personal life was in danger around that woman. That she could take any piece of information and use it against me at any time.

But right there, in the moment, I had to give her what she was asking, to make her think she was in control. And what she wanted was to know how we had got her.

- "My unit chief agreed with the plan, but he thought there was one flaw."- I finished talking and she quickly replied to my words with an annoying smile.

- "You. You're the flaw. You're married and your wife is pregnant. You can't keep your head cold under those stressing factors."

- "I'm the person on my team who's the closest to your age, and I knew that if I lost control of the situation, you'd be more likely to negotiate with a peer."

- "You have zero control here. None. I outflanked you from the beginning."- I chuckled at those words and simply shook my head.

- "Some of your moves were pretty obvious."- I needed to make her see she wasn't as special as she thought she was.

- "Such as?"

- "Such as showing up armed. Such as changing the venue at the last moment."- I enumerated.

- "I needed a restaurant full of innocents in case this was a trap."

- "If you really suspected this was a trap, then why show up at all? Even when you first laid eyes on me, from the bar, from outside, from wherever you were, you should have seen through me and kept on moving, but you didn't. You couldn't. Because you can't get to the man you really want to hurt, so you need to hurt any man who reminds you of him."

- "That's kind of boilerplate psychology, isn't it? I'm just another girl with daddy issues.

- "You'd be surprised how many killers do what they do because of their parents."- I paused and waited for her reaction. But there wasn't any. - "If it's so boilerplate, why don't we test that theory? How hard did you look for him?"

- "Very hard."

- "And how disappointed were you when you realized that you would never find him? You needed some other outlet for your rage, and for a while, this worked, but it also tripped you up. Can I tell you a little secret? Everything eventually falls apart. The trick is accepting when it's over."

The alarm rang. Time was up. Her silly game had come to an end and she had to surrender peacefully and walk out of that restaurant with me. Just that I knew she wouldn't come easily.

- "Except it ain't over, is it?"- she asked with a crazy look in her eyes.

- "Do you really think I'm just gonna let you walk out of here?"- I raised an eyebrow as I stared at her.

- "You profiled so much about me, except you forgot to ask the most important question. Why would I make you sit here for 30 minutes?"

- "Because you're stalling."

- "Then you don't know me at all. Did you guys show up here without an escape plan? Or is that what just another girl with daddy issues does? Maybe if you hadn't fallen victim to your own gender bias, and, yes, all men have gender bias, even you, Dr. Reid, would have recognized that your entire strategy was based on one faulty detail. Can you see it?

- "You're not here alone."

- "And my partner? Less paranoid than you think."- her words gave me cold chills.

- "You planted a bomb in the building."- but she just smiled innocently.

- "I didn't. My job was to keep your entire team focused on us, so he could do what he does best."

- "There are innocent people here."- I had never been so glad my wife had to stay back in Quantico, 'cos if she had been there that night, I could have lost it. I may have even let Cat go.

- "Yes, there are. So let me remind you what we're playing for. Not only will I walk out of here, but you will make sure I leave safely. And from where I'm sitting, it looks like I've won."

I only had one chance to make things right. I couldn't let Cat Adams out of that restaurant, for the sake of Penelope and my own family. I knew, I felt it in my guts, that she would never forgive me for setting her up, she would seek revenge against me and my loved ones. It had to end that night.

- "You need to pay attention to this part. I'm going to tell you the terms of my victory. I want you to move all of your backups away from this building. If I walk out of here and I see one cop, I will incinerate us all."

- "I can't do that."- I tried to explain, but it was useless.

- "Spencer..."

- "It's not me. What you're asking takes time."- so she leaned in closer, grabbed,–))(65+ my mic and spoke directly to the mic.

- "This is to whoever's in charge. Unless you guys want to be responsible for the biggest FBI disaster since Waco, you will back off now."- then, she sat down correctly and cut me a smug smile.- "Watch this."

We waited for a few minutes in silence. I looked around the room at all the people eating dinner, not even a single worry about what was going around them. Their lives were all in my hands, and I only had one chance to save us all.

- "Look at that. There they go."- Cat commented as the waitress started walking around the room, asking every customer to go calmly.

- "All we want to do..."- I started explaining, but she interrupted me.

- "Minimize the collateral damage. I get it. I'm not mad. It'll give me the cover I need to slip out. I just need to know it's clear, so do me a favor and tell your boss that nobody leaves until it's safe for me to."

- "Reid, perimeter agents are pulling back. You have to let her go."- Hotch whispered in my ear, but I refused to follow that instruction.

- "Well?"- Cat raised an eyebrow and waited for my reply.

- "Repeat, all agents, do not engage or pursue until the bomb is defused."- Hotch commanded, but I remained silent, sitting there, rearranging my thoughts.

- "Spencer..."- Adams insisted, getting annoyed.

- "You can leave."- I whispered and she quickly started moving from her seat. - "But you won't."- I said as she stopped walking and turned to look at me.

- "I'm sorry?"

- "Double or nothing. You need to sit back down."- I suggested and Cat stared at me, not believing my words.

- "Reid, what are you doing?"- Hotch asked, and I'm sure I heard my wife arguing at the back.

- "Wow, now you're stalling."- Cat said with a mocking tone of voice.

- "You played your trump card, but I have one, too."- she stared at me in silence, considering her options.

- "Thanks for dinner. I had fun."- and right after they had turned around and started walking away from me, I said.

- "I found your father."- and she immediately stopped walking. She stood there, considering my words, and probably trying to find a reason to leave anyway. Until her curiosity was stronger than her determination, and she turned to question me.

- "No, you didn't.

- "Look at my face. Am I bluffing?"- I simply stared at her with the most serious expression on my face- "I'll tell you where he is. But you need to sit back down and listen to the rest of my story."

- "No. Tell me now or I'll..."- but I cut her off, already tired of that whole situation.

- "Detonate the bomb? You're not gonna do that, Cat, because then you won't learn anything. You said you were good at your job because you think through every outcome. Well, guess what? So do I."- she didn't move for a moment. I could read the struggle on her face. Until she gave up, and sat again in front of me.

- "All right. Finish the story."

- "To prepare for this dinner, I had to learn everything about you, starting with your real name. Catherine Adams. Daughter of Daniel Adams, who did in fact leave the country in 1987 but returned in 2012. Based on confidential records in rehabs and sober living houses, which in turn pointed us to flophouses and soup kitchens. He couldn't put 24 hours together sober. And you can probably imagine my surprise when I discovered that he actually lives right here in D.C.

- "Where?"- she demanded to know, the urgency in her voice letting me know I was hitting the right spot.

- "It's not that simple. He was in bad shape when I found him. I showed him your picture and asked if we could talk about you. I needed to know what had happened, and if he could give me any information about you. But he couldn't."

- "He didn't remember me?"- Cat sounded insulted and hurt.

- "The alcoholism shredded his brain. I'm sorry."- I could relate to her, I knew what it meant to know your own family couldn't remember you. But I couldn't really feel sorry for her, considering the hell she and her team had put Garcia through.

- "You're not sorry. Sorry is what people say when they don't understand."- she paused and stared at me like she could actually read me. Which I didn't like one bit. - "Wait. Your mother, tell me."- I hesitated, I didn't know if I should answer that question with the truth, but if I didn't, if she felt I was bluffing, there were some serious chances the entire building would end up in flames. So I did what I had to do, even though I didn't like it.

- "Is... is this part of the game?"- I questioned her, thinking about all the people listening on the other side of my microphone.

- "No. The game's over."

She was dead serious, and I couldn't really hide anymore. It was my last chance to make sure things went down smoothly. So I answered with complete honesty.

- "When I looked at her medical chart, it didn't make any sense. The medication that they gave her should have been helping, but I couldn't figure out what was making her so angry. So, I went to see her. The moment I walked into her room, I saw it. For three seconds... She didn't know who I was. I had her tested that morning, and I found out that night. That she had early-onset of dementia. Most likely Alzheimer's."

- "Did you test yourself?"- Cat asked immediately. I still don't know if she felt any kind of empathy for me, but her eyes were locked into mine. - "No, you didn't. You were too scared."

- "Did you know?"- I heard Penelope asking someone I assumed was my wife. (Y/N)'s voice on the other side whispered yes as I continued looking down at my hands.

- "I thought I dodged a bullet when I turned thirty and didn't have a schizophrenic break like her, but this is somehow bigger and scarier because I can actually see it happening. All the memories that we used to share are just dying. I can't stop it. I can't help her. All I can do is find people that I can help."

I was sharing way too much during that dinner. And all because I needed to find a way for Cat to relate to me, to make her weak, call her bluff, and lock her behind bars.

- "Is that really why you showed up tonight? To help me? Do you know how many men have told me that they wanted to help me? How do you think that worked out for them?"

I couldn't reply 'cause I all heard at that minute was JJ announcing Cat had armed the bomb, and they were all trying to find a way to get everybody out there as quick as possible. All I could do was try to gain more time.

- "You're right. You don't need my help. You don't need anyone's help. You are completely in control."- but as soon as I spoke those words I saw Morgan and Tara struggling with a woman at the bar who I could guess was Cat's partner, the bomber. And before I could react, I felt a gun against my temple, as Cat grabbed me and forced me to walk.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Watching my husband being held basically hostage by a serial killer who had a gun against his head was probably one of the scariest things I faced working with the FBI. What I hated the most that day was knowing I wasn't even in the same building with him. And there was nothing I could do to help him.

Garcia held my hand tight as we stared at the screen. Cat Adams was so tiny next to him, and yet, he couldn't do anything to defend himself but try to get in her head.

- "FBI. Everybody stay calm, please."- Morgan said from the other side of the room as he held his gun out and kept his eyes locked on Adams. The only thing that kept me sane at that moment was knowing Morgan would do anything and everything to keep my husband safe.

- "We're gonna be smart about this and talk it out. Aren't we, Cat?"- Tara asked her as she cuffed the bomber.

- "That's up to you."- Adam replied with a threatening tone.

- "Get everyone out of here."- Spencer basically begged as he stared at Morgan and Lewis in front of him. She commanded the civilian to get out quickly and she took the bomber out herself. But Morgan remained there.

- "Morgan, you, too."- Spencer added.

- "I'm not going anywhere."- a part of me sighed relieved when I heard Derek's reply. He moved closer to Cat, pointing his gun at her head the entire time.

- "Guess we're right back where we started. You and me with a gun."- I hated the way Cat looked at my husband, 'cos though I'm certain there was a part of her who knew she was already doomed, she was in fact enjoying her time with him.

- "Reid, it's time."- Morgan commanded, but Spencer shook his head.

- "No."

- "We don't have a choice. We have to do it."- Derek was serious and Cat got immediately curious.

- "Do what?"

- "Morgan, shut up."- my husband begged, but Derek didn't listen.

- "There's one thing he hasn't told you yet."

- "That's not true. He's lying. Don't listen to him!"- Spencer was scared and freaked out as Cat turned to him nearly offended.

- "What haven't you told me?!"

- "Nothing. I told you... nothing! Nothing!"

- "What don't I know?"- Cat asked Morgan and he simply answered.

- "We brought your father here."- I knew they were lying, her father wasn't there. Spencer tried to find him, but it was a dead end. So Morgan and my husband were putting out a show for her, and all I could hope for was that she fell for it.

- "Here? He's here?"- Cat was hurt and shocked. Was it because she couldn't believe we had found him? Or was it because she couldn't find him herself?

- "He's right outside."- Derek continued talking, his gun not moving from her head. - "Reid thought he needed every bargaining chip he could get."

- "Morgan, I'm begging you, don't. Don't."- Spencer begged for him to stop talking, but Morgan didn't pay attention.

- "Every bargaining chip he could get to convince you to do the right thing."

- "How is this the right thing?"- Cat asked. She was nervous, clearly the thought of being close to her father had an immediate effect on her.

- "Your father killed your mother. And there's no statute of limitations on murder, so you really need to think about your options right now. You shoot him, I will kill you. Or if you surrender, you will live to testify against your father."- Morgan showed his cards.

- "That's not good enough."

- "We can arrange it for the two of you to drive into custody together, and then you can remind him of who you are."- Cat eyes shone at those words, but Spencer argued immediately.

- "If you give her this, she wins. Don't do it."

- "Kid, I am trying to save your life. Now let me do that."- Morgan was serious. A beeping outside caught their attention. - "They're bringing him in right now."

- "You're really upset about this, aren't you?"- Cat stared at Spencer, who looked in fact affected by the whole situation, but didn't reply to her. Instead, Morgan continued talking.

- "This is what you wanted, isn't it, a chance to finally hurt the man who deserves it?"

- "They all deserve it."- Cat clarified.

- "He deserves it the most."- Morgan made his point and Adams took a minute to consider her options.

- "Only if Spencer escorts me out."- I hated the way she pronounced his name.

- "Deal."- my husband whispered, annoyed and Cat finally dropped her gun.

I swear, I let out a breath I never realized I was holding, and stared at Spencer handcuffing Cat and walking out of the restaurant. I looked at Garcia and she had tears in her eyes.

- "Hotch?"- Morgan said to the mic.

- "Yeah."

- "We are coming out."- I hugged Penelope immediately and felt her sobbing against me as Hotch moved closer to us and put a hand on her shoulder.

- "You want to go home?"- he whispered and she nodded, crying.

- "Let's get your things packed up and get a celebratory drink, ok?"- I offered her and she chuckled.

- "You can't drink, munchkin."

- "You are gonna have to drink for me, then."

Spencer called me ten minutes later. He was in the car with Morgan on their way back from the case.

- "Hey chipmunk. How are you?"

- "I'm ok. You?"

- "Just tired."- he whispered and sighed. There was a lot more going on in his head, but I knew he couldn't share it at the moment, and I was not going to push him to say anything.

- "I'm gonna drive Pen to her house."

- "Morgan's"- Garcia corrected me as she grabbed one of her bags and started walking. I quickly followed her, carrying another bag with her things. - "Savannah texted me, she has celebratory drinks for us."

- "Ok, I'm driving her to Morgan's. If you are with Derek, wanna meet there and go home?"

- "Yes, that sounds like a good plan."- neither of us said a thing for a moment. I whispered I loved him and got into the elevator with Garcia.

- "How is he?"- Pen asked when she noticed I was putting the phone back into my pocket.

- "Tired. Probably upset, she forced him to face her mother's disease in front of all of you."

- "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)."

- "Thank you. Let's focus on the good things that happened today. That psycho is finally locked and you are safe to go home one more time. I'm sure Sergio is excited to have you back"

- "I miss him. And my plants! I just can't wait to be home the entire weekend, clean the place, and enjoy my space."

- "I'm so glad you are finally going home."

- "Me too. Who is taking care of my Birdie tonight by the way?"

- "She is at my mother's. We didn't know how this was going to go, so we thought it was better to take her there and have a "nana and Birdie" sleepover. My dad was supposed to hang out with them for a while."

- "I love how they manage to co-grandparent her so well."- I chuckled at Garcia's comment and nodded.

- "Me too. I wish they were this civil when I was growing up, though."

- "Come on! at least you know they won't traumatize Birdie."

- "No, I'm guessing that's our job as parents."- I joked and walked to my car. Garcia followed me quickly, and in a few minutes, we were on our way to Morgan's.

Spencer's point of view

We got out of the car and walked to Morgan's house after a quiet drive. I had called my wife, and I could tell by the tone of her voice that she knew exactly what was going on with me. I also called Sofia to find out how Raven was doing. I was feeling somehow paranoid after that evening. I knew Cat was locked, but I couldn't shake off the thought of her hurting my family.

- "You want to come in, decompress a bit?"- Morgan asked suddenly, and stopped walking as we stood in the middle of his front yard.

- "I'm good. We are probably just gonna go home."- he nodded and stared at me, most likely trying to find the words to say what he wanted to say.

- "That was an intense case."- Morgan whispered and I chuckled. Intense was a simple way to call it. I had another dozen words that were harder than it.

- "Yeah. It's over. Network's gone."- I tried to focus on that, but I knew my friend was not going to let it go.

- "Yeah. Reid, that medical research that Savannah gave you, was that..."- and I simply nodded.

- "Yeah."

- "You are gonna get yourself tested, aren't you?"

- "One of the data points that her research told me about was age. I'm too young to display the chromosomal signs, so I'm just gonna have to learn to live not knowing."

I could tell Morgan wanted to tell me everything was going to be ok, but he didn't get a chance, because the front door of his house opened and one very drunk Garcia walked out, followed by (Y/N) and Savannah.

- "Oh, my God!"- Garcia opened her arms and stumbled all the way to our side in her huge heels.

- "Oh, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is happening right now?"- Morgan questioned her, surprised to find her in such a state so quickly.

- "You're what's going on. Right now is what's."- Garcia looked at me and I couldn't help but start chuckling- "You are here. Do you know what's happening right now? It is, it is done. The Dirty Dozen is done! Yes, done!

I'm in it!"

- "How much did she have?"- Morgan asked his girlfriend as I felt my wife wrapping her arms around me in silence. I hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head as I heard her sighing. She was my home and my peace, and I was finally happy 'cause I was with her.

- "She started out with Jaeger."- Savannah explained and Morgan wide opened his eyes, shocked,

- "Jaeger?! Ok...."- Derek chuckled and stared at Garcia, who hugged him and repeated over and over how much she loved him until she saw me one more time.

- "And you! I love you so much! You two make such beautiful babies!!"- I heard my wife giggling as Garcia turned to Savannah and continued spreading her love. - "And you, I should be jealous of you because you're so hot. But I'm not. I'm not. I promise you I'm not. I'm not. I promise. No, I'm not"- Pen looked at us and tried to convince us all. - "'Cause you know what? All I feel in here is love. I just... I am feeling, I'm full of love. So much love. I'm wearing too many clothes."

- "Shit! Garcia, don't get naked!"- my wife argued immediately as Penelope started walking back into the house, trying to take off her sweater.

- "I got this!"- Savannah announced as she quickly followed Garcia back into the house.

- "I'm gonna get my things."- (Y/N) whispered and kissed my cheek.

- "You sure you don't want to reconsider?"- Morgan joked as she pointed inside the house and I just laughed.

- "I think we are ok. (Y/N) should get some rest and I really just want to go home."- there was a pause as I looked inside and saw my wife hugging Garcia one more time, as Savannah held a bottle of water, probably trying to convince Garcia to drink it.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan said and looked at me- "Can I tell you something?"

- "Yeah."- but instead, he just took a step closer and hugged me. - "I just, uh..."

- "Yeah."- I whispered and nodded.

- "You know?"

- "I know. I know."- I hugged him back and felt the tears falling from my eyes. I know it was hard dealing with feelings sometimes, so it felt good to know Morgan and I both knew how much we meant to each other.

- "Good. Because I mean it."- he tapped on my back a few times and let me go, but kept his eyes on me.- "I'll see you Monday."

(Y/N) stared at the scene from the porch and waited until Morgan started walking to the house to walk toward me. She opened her arms and hugged him as well, kissing his cheek. I always assumed she thanked him for taking care of me. And I always felt he had my back. He was my brother. Always had and always will be.

- "Come on, honey. Let's go home."- my wife whispered and held my hand. And I meant it when I said she was my home.

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theagstd · 6 months ago

Text

One Night Stand

➥ rundown ; as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.

→ genre ; enemies to lovers | CEO au | pregnancy trope | slowburn

→ Jungkook x y/n

→ contains smut, fluff and angst

→ Chapter Three ; wc | 6.5k

primarily on Wattpad

index ⇢ next chapter

"Okay now this is so fucking amazing! he really decided to choose me of all, this was unbelievable but- also what the heck?" You speak to yourself, walking side by side in your living room while you bite your nails and look at the damn email that you received.

Congratulations on Your New Role as Graphic Designer

Dear Ms Lee Y/L/N,

I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to extend my heartfelt congratulations on being selected for the Graphic Designer position at Jeon Industries.

We are thrilled to welcome someone of your talent to our team. Your portfolio speaks volumes about your ability to bring fresh and innovative ideas to our projects. We are confident that your expertise will significantly contribute to the success of our design team and elevate the visual appeal of our brand.

As you prepare to embark on this new journey with us, please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or if there's anything you need to facilitate a smooth transition. We believe that your unique perspective and skills will be invaluable to our ongoing projects, and we look forward to seeing the positive impact you will undoubtedly make.

Once again, congratulations on this well-deserved achievement. We are excited to have you on board and are confident that you will thrive in your role as a key member of our creative team. If there are any preliminary tasks or preparations required before your start date, please let us know, and we'll be happy to assist

Best regards,

Lee Y/L/N

Graphic designer

Jeon industries

See, the mail looks inviting, warm, exciting, and a mix of emotions rush inside your system. It's happiness as well as nervousness and anxiety. Like you're unsure of this yet. It doesn't sound very accepting yet, especially after you've seen the CEO himself. "they really did not have any choice?" You ask yourself and sit on the couch. As you give it thought, it also sounds funny. Remembering your now CEO, Mr. Jeon. You think that he probably has had many nightstands in his life.

It isn't surprising, as he's like every other man who has his needs, besides he's also good-looking and very rich. chuckling, you mentally slap yourself at the though of him fucking other women. "Sounds so fun!" You tell out loud, planning to hook up with someone sooner again. But with work now, you don't think you'll find the time especially after the phone call you received by an unknown number that was from Jeon Industries,

informing you that they need you present tomorrow to sign the contract and immediately begin work as the recruitment process had taken way too much longer than planned and the new project coming up needs you to be a part of the innovations too. That definitely scares you, thinking about how you're gonna work tomorrow and it being your first day sounds so hectic but now you've got nothing to care about except the job. You've finally been recruited after working at multiple cafés for a small salary. saying goodbye to the few friends you made at the cafe wasn't too bad considering how the friendship lasted for just about 3 months. you changed jobs a number of time so it wasn't a big deal neither was it too sad.

But working your passion, graphic designing is all that you've been wanting, and when the opportunity grabs your hand, all you've got to do is hold it back and tighten it to your palms. Leaving your phone on the couch you moved to your bedroom, grabbing the outfit that you're gonna wear tomorrow so you could iron it with no creases since you must look presentable on your first day.

You're gonna meet the other employees, see everyone there so you must look amazing too. Considering how elegantly the women looked when you first entered the Jeon building for your interview they walk around with files in their hands, their identification card around their necks and their heels clicking on the tiles, carrying them confidently.

You picked out a black turtleneck and wide leg pants that were grey to match with your top. It was classy and simple enough for your 8 hour shift. Dinner was down too, you weren't very good at cooking even though your mother passed down her old recipes to you in her cookbook that's probably somewhere inside a drawer, dusty and torn papers. You're not the cleanest person you know and you are also not one to treasure stuff, the cook book was your moms precious item but it's hidden under tools and you're the least bothered about it. So you stuck to eating food from the convenience stores down the street as it's open 24/7. It's one of the best parts about Korea, having stores open every hour and having a wide range of food to choose from.

It's amazing and there's always something new to try, it's fresh too and keeps you healthy or that's what you think. You missed out on it while you were at college because even though you were born in Daegu and your parents are from Daegu and Ilsan, you three moved to Canada at a very young age due to most of your family migrating there and also for financial purposes since your dad worked there for years and basically lived in Canada all his life even after marriage until he decided to move his family there so he wouldn't have to transfer money and was also welcomed home to his wife's and daughter's presence.

Preparing for bed, you picked up your favourite book 'shatter me' that you've been hooked on the past few days, it's a better way to fall asleep than viewing social media at night. The words blurred a bit while you read, until your eyes completely shut so you placed your book at the night stand and turned to hug your plushy so you could sleep well.

You are glad that the loud sound of your alarm broke your sleep and hurried you to dress up. you're glad that your apartment has a close distance to the building you are now working at. It's just a few kilometers and that allows you to be calm. When you stepped into the building, you were guided by the staff member to the CEO's cabin. You take a deep breath before you step inside the room to see the man seated on his chair, in his tailored black coat that was put around his chair leaving him with his shirt and inner waist coat. He was typing into his mac book and when you walked in, his eyes flicked to your figure then back to his screen.

The man who guided you here, whispers over to you to take a seat and pay attention to Mr. Jeon's words. Jungkook looks at you when you've finally settled on the chair, he pushes his mac book down and looks at you with his dark hooded eyes that look empty. Before his eyes could meet yours, he saw the fumbling of your fingers, that portrayed your nervousness to him even though your face showed no sign of anxiousness. He looks into your eyes as yours bore to him. One thing he now knows is that alcohol does shit to people but he doesn't think it affects you much because even though your breath reeked of champagne and your movements assured him that you're so fucking drunk, he can still see the same person seated in front of him. Only a bit more contained and disciplined and who speaks with respect.

"How have you been, Ms Lee?" He questioned you with an intimidating voice, he now places his arms on the table as his palms join together while he glares at you. His stares do make you flush but you avoid thinking about it so the effect doesn't show itself on your face. "Very well, Mr Jeon, how have you been?" You replied to him, keeping up an affirm tone, to hide back your anxiousness that slowly creeps up in between seconds. "Likewise." He responded confidently while his fingers drummed on his table that definitely didn't go unnoticed by you, his slim fingers looked gorgeous and were so beautifully molded.

The man tossed a file in front of you after questioning your wellbeing. "Read this carefully, and sign it if you agree on the terms and conditions and are fully aware of the employment contract." nodding at his words, you open up the document and progress to read each page not missing out on a single word. You don't want to make any mistakes so you go slow and steady with this, as it's the first step.

You signed the papers when you found everything okay, it was all fine and you agreed on all rules and information listed. "If you have any questions, proceed to ask Mr. Jung. He will give you a tour around here. You may leave." He muttered as he got back to his work, opening his mac and typing what he left incomplete. His tone was not something you were a huge fan of, it was arrogant, you could see it but he was also so full of attitude and full of himself. He spoke a handful of words and they were already too painful for your ears. You stood from your chair, bowed at the man before leaving the room.

You left out a loud exhale and walked out of the room. Mr Jung, the man with parted hair, full suit and a long face stood beside you after you walked out, he chuckled when he heard you sigh. "We all feel that when we meet Mr. Jeon. Let me give you a tour of the building" He guided you to the elevator, taking to you on level 31, just one floor below Mr Jeon's office. As the elevator opened up, you could see how well focused and quiet this department was. You walked along with Mr Jung, and he led you to your area.

"So this is the most important department, the graphic designing department, since our company Jeon Industries prioritizes our employees needs and wants, we have a very comfortable and convenient area for you, as you're the graphic director. There's some important features you must know. Before that, let me introduce myself. I'm Jung Hoseok, the manager of this department, you can call me Hoseok."

He reached his hand out to you, which you gladly shook with a smile on your face. The man had a beautiful smile that expressed his kindness and softness in his voice. "So, as you are aware, Jeon Industries specialises in advertising and selling of brands, brands that we own, as well as supporting the biggest companies out there. How does graphic designing work out? Well, we do adverts for the biggest and the best companies in a variety of industries, makeup industry, fashion industry, and even the food industry. And to mention Mr Jeon also has his own brand of clothing. Hence, this falls quite heavy on the graphic director, you."

Hoseok said, this made you exhale a quick breath, which you soon covered with a smile when you hear the man speak about his serious business. "It's not too bad, you'll do it. And The campaigns that you've obviously seen on TV, social media of Dior makeup, Kylie cosmetics, Balenciaga, Calvin Klein, Celine, Gucci, Louis Vuttion, Veneta Bottega and more were done by us, thus increasing their sales like shooo."

He gestured with his hands, showing the increase of sales and exaggerating it. "We've been doing well in the business world and have very high recognition for our amazing advertising team and creativity, so you've got to work a bit harder. We've got a project in two days and that's the reason why I'm explaining things fast and detailed. You must be prepared for anything and please don't hesitate to ask anything from me.

Treat me as your friend." He placed his hand on his chest and bowed. You already liked this man a lot. "So I will leave yo -" "Well, well, look, who's here?" A raspy honey-like voice spoke, you turned around to face it, and there you saw a beautiful man walking towards you with his palms inside his pants pocket. His beauty was out of this world, his expressive eyes that looked into your soul, and his walk? He doesn't walk, he models.

You noticed how Hoseok was sighing deeply when he saw the arrival of this man, he scratched his forehead and looked away, without meeting your curious eyes. "So this is our new graphic director? Ms. Lee Y/n! The one who replaced me in this position with zero work experience." You frown when you hear the words that come out of his mouth. Replaced him? Was he supposed to be taking this job? "Jimin, there's no need to -"

"Ah, ah, there is a need to let her know the damage she's done." The man pushed his silky blonde hair back and smirked. you noticed how plump his lips are, looking at you with a fake smile. "I was supposed to be the creative director, but you, Ms. No work experience replaced me! So you'll have to pay for it. You've got to survive in this job before you fly high." He speaks, gritting his words from his teeth before he walks away, knocking Hoseok with his shoulder. You looked over at Mr Jung, who clicks his tongue and heaves a sigh. You needed an explanation, if that man is gonna bully you at work for something you hadn't done and have no idea about, then you're gonna have to let the CEO know about this, you're not here to tolerate shit.

"Mr Park didn't-" "What did he mean by I replaced his position?" You asked, curious as to why the man was blaming you with hatred. "Since all the applicants weren't to the standard, Mr Jeon acknowledged Mr. Park and considered handing over the position to Jimin but that was not promised, the shortlist of applicants were not up to mark until you turned up so Mr Jeon decided to fill the vacancy with you."

"Why did Mr Jeon not give the position to Jimin? Hasn't he been working here before?" Hoseok looked at the ground, contemplating if he should go into more detail with this, but he decided it would be best if you know what the problem is since it concerns you.

"You see filling the vacancy with internal recruitment is a good idea, Jimin is well aware of how things work but filling the vacancy from external recruitment brings new ideas to the business and that's exactly what Jeon Industries needs you know-" Hoseok spoke, obviously hiding something because his eyes looked everywhere except yours which was quite obvious since he spoke to you making eye contact before. "Is there anything more?" He bit his lower lip, caught.

Is he really an open book with his expressions, he thought. "Well- Mr Jeon does not like Jimin very much, it's due to Jimin's behavior towards work but anyways I'm gonna let you look around your work space, remember if you need me I'm just by the corner of the right corridor."

Hoseok said, and you nodded, thanking him and letting him continue his work. You walked inside your corner, taking a seat on the office chair,looking around your personal office. You've now got a desktop, a laptop, and an ipad of your own to work with. There's some files and papers lying around and expensive stationery too, but overall what you liked the best was the privacy that you obtained here, your own working space.

"Wow, this is very different from a cafe." you speak to yourself and laughed quietly about it, Sighing, you leaned back on the chair and closed your eyes. You finally got a job that can show your abilities. Applying the years of hard work is gonna pay off now, and that makes you feel so happy.

waking up at 7 in the morning is difficult considering how you usually work part-time at the cafe so you had your own shifts but full time working is new to you, though it's exciting it is also nerve-wrecking to wake up so early and it's still your second day at work.

You didn't have much to do today, but you were informed to be prepared for a meeting tomorrow that will test your abilities. It's a meeting with Han Paris, and he's said to be the largest alcohol manufacturer and wants to advertise his latest alcohol flavor to the market. No lie but you're definitely feeling anxious about it but nevertheless you were ready to take up the challenge to showcase the best idea out of all now that you've got the position, you must show justice to it and not disappoint the CEO himself. When you got home, you finally felt relieved, like a burden was removed from your shoulders.

You've been living off with a pretty okay number of won that you earned from the café that you worked part time in. Finally, you're earning a salary that serves the right amount to live off with. To pay your rent, your monthly rations, and even have a very fair percentage to save or get yourself anything you want. Getting into your pj's, you prepared dinner for yourself, just a light salad, nothing too heavy, because Hoseok treated you with an evening snack as a welcome gift from him . That was a very sweet act. You didn't have to think about tomorrow's breakfast because the cafeteria is always open and the food tastes amazing!

You decided to check out some of the advertisements done by Jeon Industries just to get an idea of what they've been doing for years. So you pulled out your work laptop, Hoseok said you could take it home for any preparations, so this was the opportunity to use it. Everything was already saved in the folders. What blew your mind was that each ad campaign was very different from one another. That makes you think how innovative the ideas of the designers are, and that also scares you because tomorrow you will be seated with them and they'll be your competitors, though you all aim to just get the deal for Mr. Jeon.

You've got to present your idea and hear them out but it's not that easy, you want yours to stand out because it's not just about the idea, it's also a test that Mr Jeon has put you to, Hoseok mentioned that if Mr Jeon says you to be prepared he means it. Everything should be perfect, as he's a perfectionist, you can't afford to make a mistake. You're gonna work hard to achieve it. Moreover, it's his reputation and money that's at stake. Anyone would want it to be perfect. Once you've grasped the amazing and unique ideas of the past campaigns, you decided to research Han Paris and his business.

Since apparently, the latest wine has never been in the market before, the target audience is adults that drink and if that's not enough the prices of the wine are premium, that explains enough to you. You really took time to read every detail mentioned in the document that was sent by Hoseok, and then you took some time to think. The alcohol flavour is not just any berry, It's a vanilla mulberry flavour. When you think of berries, you remember the beautiful nature, but also, you remember how you grew up with your grandmother, spending your holidays with her at her lovely cottage where she planted a variety of vegetables and fruits. You smiled, remembering those tiny moments in life. You looked at the bottle and the packaging of the wine, it's very classy and expensive. Nevertheless, you decided to stick to your own vision of creativity. Maybe something new and out of the box could make it? We don't know unless we try.

You did a little presentation, wrote down details and points regarding it, and prepared yourself for what's coming tomorrow.

it's meeting day and you're nervous, your face shows and your fumbling with the fingers give it away too. but you're so glad that Hoseok was there by your side to give your company so you don't feel alone. for the betterment of your meeting, Hoseok advised you about how things work here during meetings. He'd also give you more closure to the CEO's working attitudes. How Mr Jeon, has direct communication, he'd give feedback only when he wants to, if he doesn't. Don't expect. Decisions made by the CEO are tough and final, he prioritizes the efficiency for his business and has high standards that he expects his employees to achieve and exceed, as a matter of fact, Mr Jeon has limited social interactions and he avoids making conversations to anyone in the building. "He may also raise his tone, if he's unsatisfied with your job, so don't freak out." Hoseok says at which you roll your eyes. Of course, he's got the money. And the right to do so.

Lucky for you, you haven't seen much of him after signing the contract, but since he'll be here for the meeting, you wont lie that you feel slightly more than just nervous now, knowing more about him. Its funny how he was a totally different human when he fucked you.

At 2 p.m., you walked into the board room along with a handful of other staff members that included Jimin. You took your seat, and Jimin sat in front of you. You didn't miss how his eyes looked right through you or how his eyebrows moved a lot while he smirks. He looked confident, very confident that his idea will be selected, and it's only making you feel anxious but you keep your face as blank as an empty canvas so no one sees what you feel inside. In about 10 minutes, the CEO of Paris Aliénor, Han Paris and three of his staff members walked inside. Everyone in the room stood to greet him. The man had minimal facial action, that means he had no smile. But he did have his chin raised, like he belongs here and holds superiority.

"Where's Mr Jeon?" He questioned and the staff looked at each other's faces, including you. "Uh, Mr. Jeon will be-" "call him now. You -" he pointed at you with his index finger. "Call Mr Jeon right now. My time is precious." You looked at him and pointed your finger at yourself because you weren't certain if he gave the instruction to you, the staff seated beside you elbowed you and gestured you to do as he said as you nodded and stood from your chair to get Mr Jeon.

"Shit, why did he tell me?" You murmured to yourself while walking towards the CEO's cabin. "Fuck, Just knock, poke your head in, and tell him to come, that's it." You exhaled and then pushed the door open only for it to be fully opened by Mr Jeon himself. You stumbled a bit and then looked up at him, and he looked down at you. "Uh- Mr. Han asked for y- "I know, you may leave."

He spoke without glancing over you even once, the tone he uses to speak has a hint of arrogance. It was rude. You nodded your head and walked forward while he followed you. Jungkook looked at your back while you walked, that same back;

"Fuck- let me go! Horny." You speak as the man tried to put his dick back inside you but you're worn out and cant take anymore, its almost 3 am and you've both been fucking each other like animals. It seems like it wasn't just you that was desperate for sex, he was too. Much more than you. "Fuck- one more round." He whispers to your ear in his raspy voice but you pushed him away and stood from the bed that was wet from all that white slime.

"No, i don't think i could walk-" your feet wobbled a bit when you stood, you didn't walk until you balanced well. The man admired your naked back, he loved how you had the perfect proportions. He could not take his eyes off you. "Seems like your ex hadn't fucked you right." This made you chuckle. "He didn't." You picked up your dress and lingerie, hooking it before slipping into the black dress. "Quickie, i'll be fast-" "get your ass home!" You both bickered, he looked up at the ceiling and laughed quietly. "Zip it up for me."

He turns his gaze on you, sees your back out open. Smirking as he grows closer to you, the elbow helps him lift himself higher so he can zip the dress up, he did, slowly as he took the time to kiss. "Fuck! you're one fucking woman!" "Of course I am." He places his palm on your hair, gripping it and pulling you down to kiss your neck. "I'll mark you for the last time, darling. Then leave and don't ever come back."

He shook his head to forget what he did and all that he told you. He had to permanently delete it off his brain, god he was so done with this. He could sense the tension, but he didn't want to act obvious. You both walked into the board room, and everyone greeted each other before the meeting started. Everything was going okay until the staff were asked to present their ideas. Jimin started off first, and his idea was a classy club advertisement. Han Paris seemed to really like it because you noticed how he kept nodding his head while Jimin spoke the details out and explained his vision. Mr. Jeon had no expressions on his face, like a clear palette. No emotions.

"Thank you so much for your attention." He spoke before taking his seat. He looked at you with a smirk like as if he had already won, and that only made things more difficult for you. Jimin mouthed, 'I win' with his plump lips and you sighed in nervousness, Jungkook noticed the interaction between the two of you, glancing at Jimin then you and he understood immediately, this was Jimin's trick to always out on his opponent even if they both work for the same company. "Ms. Lee, anything prepared for us today?"

Jungkook spoke, and you soon looked at him and then nodded. You've always been confident. Just go for it, don't let anyone make you feel nervous, come on. You thought to yourself and stood from the chair, walking towards the center, you plugged the wire to the laptop and the screen showed everyone your presentation.

You cleared your throat and then spoke about your idea. Everyone had their eyes on you, and that somehow made you feel comfortable talking more about your idea as they seemed interested. "When I first read the description of the product, It immediately took me back to my old days where I would spend my vacation with my aunt and grandmother in the countryside. We had a beautiful mulberry tree, that is the main feature of you-" "can we move on to the other details."

Han Paris interrupted your speech, wanting you to skip the part of your opinion on alcohol. He found it unnecessary and a waste of time. "Uh, s-sure." although you were understanding, it somehow broke your confidence and your flow of speech. suddenly you don't know what exactly to say so you just conclude the speech as fast as you can, so you don't feel anymore anxious

"I think a 90s colourful theme of an advertisement would attract more adults to try out the new flavour, in my opinion, that brings us to an end, thank you for hearing me out." Everyone nodded and gave a slow round of applause while you walked towards your chair to take a seat. Jungkook looked at you from the corner of his eyes and sighed. "What do you think, Mr Jeon?"

Han Paris questioned him, and then Jungkook turned to face him with a fake smile. "I think all my employees' ideas are very unique in their own ways. It's best if you decide along with your team." Han contemplated a little, speaking to his secretary and a few other businessmen from his side, and then he nodded when everyone agreed to him.

"I find Park Jimin's idea suitable. I appreciate everyone's efforts, but I'm going with Park Jimin's." Jimin looked at you and scoffed in arrogance, his actions made you feel worse about yourself. Jungkook nodded and then spoke, "we will begin with the preparations of shooting the advertisement." He swiftly looked at you as you're the creative director now and have to engage in the entire creature process.

"That sounds good to me." Han spoke and then shook hands with Jungkook as they both stood from their seats and then Han walked out of the room, Jungkook fixed his tie in place and looked around the room, he could see how upset you looked behind that fake smile you put on. "Everyone did their best, and all ideas were great in their own way. Don't feel down because you weren't chosen today. There's always a next time."

He spoke still coldly, it's what he always says once a meeting is done. you appreciated his words that he said before he walked away, after everyone stood from their seats to pay respect. "Oh, Ms. Lee, maybe next time, mm?" Jimin spoke and chuckled as he left with the rest of the staff, leaving you alone. You're not being dramatic. You're just embarrassed, and that's obvious. In front of your boss? And stupid Park Jimin, who now has something to laugh and mock about. You stood from your seat and took your belongings as you walked towards your desk. As soon as you placed your stuff and sat on the chair, Hoseok ran towards you.

"Hey, I heard the meeting went well. How was it for you?" You looked up at him and gave him a soft smile that he didn't mirror because he could see that it was fake. "What's wrong?" You sighed deeply and said, "it was okay, Jimin's idea was chosen." Hoseok rolled his eyes. He knew Jimin was already too arrogant and proud of his idea. Now that his idea was chosen, he's surely gonna make it a huge deal. "You did your best, and this was your first meeting. Come on. Cheer up"

You nodded and then chuckled sarcastically under your breath as you whispered, "Han Paris literally embarrassed me in front of everyone." Hoseok squinted his eyes and looked at you with concern. "What did he do?" "He shut me when I gave my own opinion and a story about my family relating to his wine." Hoseok groaned loudly and then looked at you, "you know what, screw him. Let's go get you a treat." You frowned and looked up at him.

"Treat?" "In celebration of your first meeting in Jeon Industries. Come on!" He gave you a wide smile, his white smile and oh boy, does that smile look lovely. You nodded, standing from your seat. You followed him to the elevator to get to the cafeteria. Hoseok is the only one who's being nice to you so far. Everyone else seems to have not noticed your presence yet.

"Did you have your lunch?" "Uh not yet, but-" "I need two cheeseburgers, two sprites, and a blueberry cheesecake, please." He ordered lunch for you even though it was not necessary. Maybe you should treat him with lunch next time. In a few minutes, he walked towards the table with the food in his hands, giving you a wide smile as he handed over your share of the lunch.

"Thanks, Hoseok." "No mention." He said as you both took a bite of the oozing cheese burger. He then took out the little box from the brown paper bag and placed it in front of you, "Here's your treat, the best cheesecake in town for your first ever meeting here at Jeon Industries, congratulations! More to come." You began to laugh, and so did he, laughing out really loud.

Like really loud. "You didn't have to." You say, and he waved with his hand, gesturing to you that it's fine. "I wanted to do this, and we can also take it as the beginning of our friendship." "Sure." The both of you giggled and high five. Hoseok took this time to speak a little more about himself and he even mentioned that his family and friends called him 'Hobi,' so you decided to tease him with the name Hobi too, he shrugged and said he doesn't mind it.

You didn't want to speak a lot about yourself, but you're surely excited to hear more about him. Like this, the working day ended and you didn't really feel bad about the meeting after all, it's a part of learning and now you know you should limit your speech when it comes to your opinion, people like Han Paris just don't care.

You learnt quite a lot for the day, and when you thought this was gonna be the worst day, it turned out better than you imagined. Except meeting Park Jimin in the basement. You walked towards your car, humming to yourself in your own world. Jimin rested his back in your car with folded arms and a smirk on his face. He's the last person you wanted to see.

He's getting on your nerves now. "Well, Ms. Lee, I came here to congratulate you." 'How you embarrassed yourself!' He could clearly see the frustration in your eyes and frown lines. Deeply exhaling, you continued to walk to the driver's side, opening the door, but he closed it with his hand and leaned towards it. "Oh, come on."

"What do you want, Jimin?" You murmured exhaustedly, still holding onto your car door not meeting his eyes because you just want to go home and sleep, you laughed too much today, ate too much, Hoseok treated you with his hidden snacks and you spoke for hours. You need some rest to get charged for tomorrow, and Jimin is certainly not helping. He sniggered cockily, not making any eye contact he looked up at the other cars that were leaving the car park.

"What do I want? Mmm, I love that question- I want your position, and I can only get that once you're out of here." Lord, it's been just your second day, and the man here is trying his best to get you out of your job. Why? Like he's already been paid well. "Jimin, not today, please -" "nuh uh, you stay here."

He pouted his index finger at the ground, showing his dominance with them and how he made his eye contact, his eyes so dark that you couldn't even see any light in them. "Jimin, I'm not in a mood to argu-" "So hear me out!" He spoke louder, making you flinch. He smirked at it and chuckled evil, looking up at the cement wall.

"Oh, Ms. Lee, you don't know what I'll do for the position. I'll do anything and everything to get it. And I mean it." The words came out of his mouth, teeth gritting at each letter, and he was dead serious about it. He's trying to scare you, and it's working. You got into the car without any hesitation, you can't stand him any longer, he looked like he would kill you alive. You, now officially, are a closer step to hating Park Jimin to death.

Day two, and it was fucked up.

when you got back to your apartment you removed those heels, threw your bag on your couch and immediately walked to the washroom. You removed your makeup and took a nice warm shower, still hearing Jimin's words in your head. He surely is crazy, crazy for this position, but there's no way you're giving up on it.

you weren't just given this job from the sky. You worked your ass off with part-time messy jobs, and now, finally, you got a full-time job that shines your inner talent. Fuck Jimin. You had no energy to watch TV or eat. God, Hoseok can eat so much! He forced you to eat with him. But he's a lovely guy, made you feel welcomed and all. You drifted off to sleep, and damn was that a good sleep.

You felt motivated to work today, and indeed, the day was going well. Rosè, the receptionist greeted you warmly, and of course Park Jimin had to bless your day on the first floor of the building. You discreetly ran away. His presence can literally ruin a good going day. You pressed level 31, the elevator stopping at a few levels, and employees walked in, greeting you with a bow, and you did too.

The elevator stopped at level 17, the door opening only to make eye contact with the CEO himself. Jeon Jungkook. His eyes met yours, and he immediately looked down at the floor, walking inside. You both could feel the tension building up, and it was suffocating because that night's visions always manage to pop up when he's around.

He gets them, too.

The lift began to get full, and he had to make more space for the employees to enter. He unintentionally grew closer to you, his arm rubbing against yours, and he sighed. You gulped and clutched your bag tighter. You've got no reason to feel this way, but you're more afraid. Afraid that people will notice this because that's the worst scenario you could imagine. As the elevator stopped at 24, a few employees left, leaving you with Jungkook and a handful of people. "Lee y/n, right?" A man with glasses who didn't look older than 22 spoke, holding a stack of papers in his hands.

You nodded, and then his smile widened. "I heard about your idea from a few employees. Guess what? it reminded me of my parents, too. My dad loves mulberry, and when I heard about your nature idea, I was surprised they didn't choose you." His words made your heart warm. People really spoke about your idea? For real?

"Thank you, um - there's always a next time." The boy nodded, and you smiled, bowing when he left at level 27. You couldn't hide that smile that kept getting wider and wider. You had to bite on your lower lip to refrain yourself from giving that extremely huge white smile.

Jungkook looked at you from the corner of his eyes, he obviously had distanced himself from you, leaving a meter gap. Seeing you hiding your smile had him scoff. The door opened, and Hoseok passed by. You immediately ran to him, forgetting that your CEO is just standing there watching you.

"Hoseok! Guess what?! "Woah woah, what is it cheesecake?" He joked, and you hit his arm. "What the hell is-" "cheesecake?" Jungkook whispered under his breath as the elevator door closed and had him all confused. Since when did Mr Jung call people by nicknames?

next chapter ⇢

#ask #bts #jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic recs #jungkook fiction #jungkook fluff #bts smut #bts fluff #btswritersclub #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #wattpad #one night stand

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avida-heidia-5 · 11 days ago

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Welcome to Marchtian 2025!!!

This is a brand new prompt fic and art event centred around one of the most famous teammates in Formula 1 history: The little German twink Sebastian Vettel and Aussie Grit's Mark Webber! They are also known in the F1 RPF community by their pairing names: Martian and Sebmark!

There are 31 prompts to choose from, one for each day in March. You can interpret these prompts however you like: You can have Mark and Seb as best friends, best enemies, or as a romantic/married couple, and you can put them in any situation you like (AU or canon compliant); the choice is yours!

Here’s the full list:

All creators are welcome to participate in the event: Writers, artists, GIF makers, collage creators, animators; you name it! When you’re ready to publish, remember to tag us by using the hashtag #Marchtian 2025 and/or post your work to the AO3 collection, which can be found here! Make sure to tag your works appropriately before you publish.

FAQ TIME!

Q: Do I have to do every single prompt?

A: Nope! You can choose as many as you like! Any or all prompts; it’s completely up to you! And you can interpret these prompts however you like.

Q: Do Seb and Mark have to be the main characters?

A: Yes. You can include other characters and ships if you want, but the primary focus MUST be on Seb and Mark.

Q: Can I write about/do art for characters from other racing categories such as the junior Formula series and other motorsports series such as Moto GP, ROC, WRC, and Le Mans?

A: Yes, as long as the main focus is on Seb and Mark.

Q: What about sports that don’t involve motor vehicles such as tennis and hockey?

A: The same rules apply!

Q: Do I have to sign up to join?

A: No sign-up form is required to join.

Q: Are we allowed to share snippets of our work on sites such as Tumblr?

A: Yes! You're allowed to share snippets, just make sure you choose ones that don't reveal too much of the story/stories you're working on.

Q: What's the minimum word count for fics?

A: That’s completely up to you! There’s no limit on how long or short you want your fic(s) to be.

Q: Can my fic have multiple chapters?

A: No. Oneshots only, please! However, if you’re thinking of writing a standalone sequel to an existing fic, then that’s allowed.

Q: What kind of art is allowed?

A: Absolutely anything you like: Traditional pen/pencil on paper, paintings, collages, manips, GIFs, animations… any kind of art is allowed!

If you have any more questions or concerns, don’t be afraid to send me an ask. 💙

I will reblog this post a month, a week, and then a day before the 1st March as a reminder, which is when the event officially begins.

Have fun!!! 🇩🇪💙🇦🇺

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klaprisun · 7 months ago

Text

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley)(Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 31

⚠️CONTENT WARNING⚠️

The two of us burst through the front door of Haley’s house. We were shivering, but still in a fit of giggles. We kept trying to shush each other since Emily is most likely asleep in the other room, but it just made us chuckle more.

We were still dripping with ocean water, so I volunteered to go grab some towels for us from the bathroom.

“They’re just on the shelf in there. You’ll see them when you walk in. I’ll be in my room when you come back,” Haley explains.

“I know where they are from the last time I was in your bathroom,” I give her a little wink, making her recall what went on the last time I was in her bathroom. I guess it was more about the night before we were in the bathroom, but I could tell she knew what I meant due to her blushing.

“Just hurry. I’m freezing,” she shoos me off and I scurry over to the bathroom. I fumble around for the light switch and finally turn it on. Just as I remember, there is a whole shelf of fluffy towels stacked up. I grab two off the shelf and head to Haley’s room. But when I get there, she isn’t around.

“Haley?” I call out loud enough for her to hear, but not enough to wake up Emily.

“In here!” I hear her muffled voice through the door at the back of her room. It was the one she told me was a ‘work in progress’. “Just make sure to close the door quickly behind you!” she shouts again.

Cautiously, I turn the doorknob of the door and pull it open slowly. Sure enough, Haley was standing there waiting for me. Doing as directed, I shut the door behind me.

“Ta da!” she opens her arms wide and gestures to the room. I raise my eyebrow as I take in the room dimly lit by a red light. I can barely make out anything at first due to my eyes not being adjusted to the darkness yet.

“Wow,” I sarcastically say, blinking rapidly a few times to get my eyes to adjust.

“Don’t sound too enthusiastic,” she chuckles. I know her well enough to know she is rolling her eyes at me.

Finally, I begin to start making out some shapes in the room. I notice a bunch of the same shape hanging from a string across the ceiling. Right in front of me were 3 buckets fitted into the middle of a table. They appear to have water in them, but they are glowing red from the tinted light in the room.

I finally realize the things hanging from the ceiling are a bunch of printed out pictures. I begin to pace alongside the string holding them up, admiring each picture the best I can in the darkness.

“Welcome to my brand new dark room!” she exclaimed excitedly. She follows along behind me as I continue to admire the pictures strung up. “What do you think?”

“It looks great, Haley. I’ve never seen a dark room in person before,” I drag my finger along the edge of one of the water buckets. I then put both my hands on the edge of the table around the buckets and lean, holding myself up by my arms.

“You really have a thing for me, huh?” I question her.

“Wh-what do you mean?” Haley stutters.

“I have eyes, you know. I can see what’s in all of your pictures,” I smirk at her, still leaning on the table.

There were many pictures of our day at Marnie’s farm strung up. There were more candid pictures of me than there were of anything else. Even in the low light, I can tell that the pictures she took of me made me look the best I have ever looked.

“Well you are just a great model,” she replies as she walks over to one of the pictures and studies it. I stand up from the table and walk over to stand behind her. I noticed the picture she was looking at was one of me looking down at something while rolling up the sleeves of my flannel. Each muscle of my arm was visible even through the sleeve of the flannel.

“Um…so, anyway… what do you want to do?” she turns to ask me, sounding a bit nervous. I was standing so close behind her, that when she turned around we were face to face. I feel her breath quicken when she surveys how close our faces are.

“Well I could say I could help you decorate in here, add some final touches and more decor…” I breathe out, as I slowly creep my hand up the side of her thigh.

“Or…?” she looks down at my hand tracing along her exposed skin on her thigh.

“Or I could do this…” I bring my hand up and cup it against her cheek and jaw. I meet her eyes for a quick second to judge how she is feeling. Her eyes stare back at mine in a needy, desire kind of way. I take that as my sign and immediately bring my lips down to hers, not being able to take another minute of this tension.

Without hesitation, she matches the pace of my lips, moving hers effortlessly with mine. I feel her hands float up and wrap around my neck, holding me in place.

“Oh Danny,” she moans between kisses, “I’ve been waiting so long for you to do this.”

“I couldn’t wait any longer,” I say breathlessly. Just as I try to go back for more, she pauses.

“One moment…” She steps out of my hold and dances over to the wall. I watch as she flicks a switch on the wall, causing the majority of the red lighting to go out. Only a single, faint, red light in the corner remains.

“Okay. I’m good now,” Haley rushes back into my embrace. This time, she is the one to go in for a kiss. Not missing a beat, I swoop down and meet her lips. I begin to slowly back her up a couple of steps to the table, not breaking away.

When I feel her waist meet the edge of the table, I wrap one of my arms around her waist and lift her up so she is sitting with me between her legs. It gave us enough time to take a few quick breaths, but we urgently went back in for more.

I have both hands rubbing along each of her thighs now, nearly pushing the hem of her dress all the way up. She has her fingers hooked into my belt loops, keeping my hips pressed tightly against her.

I feel her let go of my belt loops, and onto the collar of my flannel. She slowly slides down to the first button of my flannel next. There is a bit of tugging and fumbling, but it soon comes loose. She repeats the same motions all the way down my shirt until each button is undone.

I don’t dare stop her as she tugs my flannel loose from my body and tosses it somewhere in the room. She begins to explore the bare skin of my upper body with her hands, tracing them along every crevice and curve. She soon feels bold enough to bring her hands up to my sports bra strap. As she does, I feel her heart begin to pound in her chest.

Testing her reaction, I end up bringing my hands all the way up her dress, causing it to lift up to her stomach. I pull back to gauge my limits and see how she is feeling. She gives me a nod and even slides it the rest of the way off and over her head for me, causing her to have to shake her hair back into place.

I can only stare at how gorgeous she looks, sitting so dainty on the table with me between her legs. My eyes widen as I notice she has matching baby blue, lace panties and bra on. That sly dog. She knew this was going to happen, but that only turns me on more.

She had tossed her dress somewhere in the room along with my flannel, both no longer to be seen for the rest of the night.

“You’re beautiful,” I whisper into her ear as I lean tight against her body. She lets out a little giggle as I trail kisses down her jawline. The kisses down her jawline quickly turn to kisses down her neck, then to kisses just above her breasts.

I get tired of bending weirdly, so I spin her around on the table so she is stretched out the long way, and join her on the table. I hover above her as I continue to kiss just above her breasts. Her hands have found my belt loops once again, but not for long because I notice her unbutton my shorts. I freeze once I feel my shorts loosen around my waist, realizing what she has done.

“Take ‘em off,” she whispers in my ear, wrapping her arms around my neck again.

“Yes ma’am,” I obediently start sliding my shorts off and toss them aside. I bring my lips back to hers, missing them already. Her hands slide up and down my back, slipping them under the back of my sports bra every now and then.

I begin to trail kisses down her body again, this time going to just above her panties. I drag my tongue up her stomach, causing her to squirm. I give a few playful bites along her stomach as well, making her squirm even more.

I find myself back at her breasts. Her bra is still on, but I kind of flick between her eyes and her bra as if asking permission to take it off. She gives me a knowing smirk and arches her back so I can get the clasp. I dive right for it, undoing it with no struggles.

She slides the straps down her shoulders slowly, building anticipation. Once off, she loops a strap around her finger and flicks the bra away. Shamelessly, I just stare at her bare breasts. She was posed so gracefully underneath me. Her hair was sprawled across the table around her head, her arms were stretched overhead, and her body just looked so perfect. She looked like a painting made by the most talented artist on earth.

Without wasting another second, I bring my hands up to caress her breasts, bringing my lips down to join them. She starts moaning in pleasure, twisting her hands into my hair. Her hands then find their way back to my sports bra. Her movements are kind of hesitant and cautious, but she quickly recovers and brings my bra up my chest. I pause what I’m doing and lift the bra the rest of the way, causing her mouth to involuntarily open.

“Yoba, you are so hot,” she moans as she takes in the flex of my muscles as I bring the bra over my head. Her eyes trail down the rest of my naked torso, lingering on my chest and stomach. I swear she is nearly salivating at the sight of me.

Leaning back down over her, I bring my hand down to her thigh. We both watch my hand travel down that way, our breathing speeding up even more than it already is. I dance my hand around her thighs, and slowly make my way to the fabric of her panties. I look back at her to see she is still watching my hand, biting her lip. I carefully dance my fingers to the waistband and slide my hands underneath it. She bites down on her lip harder and she closes her eyes, waiting for my fingers to finally make contact with her clit. When I hold my hand in place and don’t move any further, she opens her eyes and looks up at me.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” I double check, not wanting to push her too far.

“Absolutely I am,” she grabs my chin and brings my lips down to hers. I feel her tongue part my lips this time, getting more intense with the kiss. I move my hand farther down her panties just the way she hoped for.

When my fingers finally met her clit, she was already dripping wet making for easy movements of my fingers. She moans against my lips, spreading her legs further apart for me.

“Can I take these off?” I snap the band of her panties against her waist. She nods in agreement, not breaking her concentration from the movement of my fingers. I stop for just a second to take the last of her clothing off, and go right back to what I was doing.

After a few seconds of just moving my fingers around her clit, I gently start pumping a finger into her. She arches her back a bit, letting out a little gasp. One finger soon becomes two, causing her to start squirming from pleasure.

“Danny…” she moans, fighting to not make too much noise.

“Haley…” I whisper back, causing her to whimper. Not too long after, I feel her start throbbing against my fingers. She grabs at my back and digs her nails in. She tilts her head back and lets out a gasp. I quicken the pace, and softly cover her mouth with my free hand with a smirk on my face. Emily is asleep in the house, we can’t be too loud.

She relaxes her body and slows her breathing down, so I move my hand from her mouth and remove my fingers. I watch her face as she tries to recollect her thoughts and morals.

She sits up on her arms and just stares at me straddling her legs. I lick my two fingers clean, which causes her jaw to drop. I shoot her a wink.

“I’ve never…had that so good…ever,” she sighs, still trying to catch her breath.

“That’s cause you’ve never had it done by a girl, pretty lady,” I smack the side of her thigh twice and slide off the table. Chivalrously, I begin to find her undergarments first. I come across what feels to be hers, and allow her to step into the leg holes of her underwear. She slides off the table and I yank them all the way up for her. I then hold the straps of her bra up and she waves me off.

“I won’t be needing that for the rest of the night. It’s pajama time,” she finds my flannel, bra and shorts from the ground and hands them to me. “However, I don’t have any clothes that’ll fit you… so you better hope nobody walks in on us sleeping.”

“So you get cute little pjs and I have to sleep naked?” I tease.

“I’m not complaining,” she winks as the two of us leave the dark room.

“Mmm neither am I. I doubt those little pjs are staying on long anyway,” I flop onto her bed, tossing my clothes aside.

“In your dreams,” she shoots back.

“It sure will be,” I chuckle. She slips on a light pink nightgown and gets into bed with me.

“That was nice,” Haley whispers after a few moments of silence, blushing immensely.

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choosingwhatmatters · 4 months ago

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Music in The Loyal Pin, Episode 4

Welcome back to my music rambles. Buckle up, creampuffs, this is going to be a long one. Luckily, it was very easy to structure. Let me tell you about four different types of kisses.

Handkiss – Big emotions

Last week I talked about a piece I call “Big emotions.” It is connected to situations in which our princesses (Pin is the princess of my heart, and nobody can take that title away from her) have a lot of feelings. Snake bites. Tears on letters. Happy reunions. And, in this episode, giddy memories of a kiss to the cheek, as well as the angry chuckage of rocks into a pond.

Although this piece sounds relatively tame, there’s a lot going on in the music, especially the harmonies. A harmony consists of all the notes that accompany the melody at any given time of a piece, plus the notes of the melody itself. Harmonies are the melody’s clothing. They are the bed in which the melody stretches and writhes.

Usually, there is one harmony that everything comes back to. Some call it first chord; some call it tonic. I call it home. Our piece starts out at home in D major. So far, so snug. But then, suddenly, there’s a c in the accompaniment and the first music theorists are already raising their eyebrows: there’s no c in the D major scale. The music is trying to throw us off balance. The whole phrase is repeated and then there’s even more shenanigans in the harmonies. First we greet a chord that is a welcome guest in the house of D major: B minor, its sad little sibling. But suddenly, B flat major appears. A foreigner! Not one, but two notes that do not belong to the D major scale. B flat major waves through the open door before the melody comes to rest in A major, another regular in the household, and there it stays without ever going back to D major.

The whole thing happens in the span of seconds, but it leaves us with several instances of startled surprise and a quality of unfinished-ness. Much like a character grappling with a big emotion, our ears must come to terms with what we’ve just heard.

We hear the melody of the piece one last time at the end of the episode, when Anil is kissing Pin’s hand. It’s only the beginning of the melody, and there’s hardly any accompaniment. No harmonies to throw us off guard. The piece only lasts for a few seconds, hinting at big emotions to come before it floats away.

Butterfly kiss – Anil’s theme

Anil’s theme has undergone a lot of changes in the course of the first four episode. It starts out as a sweet, playful melody that matches Pin’s wistful one. It is often played by a glockenspiel but is fully orchestrated in moments in which Anil twirls for her family. Or sneakily returns from the UK without anyone knowing.

Anil brings back with her a new version of her motif. This one we can hear when she is plotting against the men in Pin’s life or manipulating those around her. Instead of the usual, cheery major scale we’re used to, we can hear the melody in a minor scale. Minor scales tend to sound melancholic or sad. In the piece at hand, the melody sounds sinister which, again, goes back to the harmonies underneath. Harmonies are powerful allies and even more formidable foes.

In episode 4, we can hear the minor version of Anil’s motif when she schemes against Kuea, shortly after being interrupted at the pond with Pin. We hear it again when Pin remembers Pranot trying to kiss Anil’s hand.

And then there’s a brand-new version of the motif when Pin learns about the butterfly kiss.

The time signature is different now. Instead of our usual 4/4 time, we are in 3/4 time. This time measure often has a waltz-y, swaying quality to it. Together with an airy keyboard sound I cannot identify, the whole thing sounds whimsical and innocent. Anil’s theme glistens in silvery glockenspiel notes above this soundscape in a high octave. We are putting a pin (heh) in this fact, namely the use of the glockenspiel and the high pitch.

Lip kiss – Pin’s theme

Pin’s theme is a constant in the first four episodes. Sometimes we can hear the whole piece, sometimes it’s just the first three notes, but it’s everywhere. It hardly changes.

Up until that fateful moment in episode 3, when Pin becomes aware of her heartbeat when she is massaging Anil. The melody evolves. There are more notes and shorter note values. The same thing happens when Anil kisses Pin’s lips.

Y’all, I don’t even know where to start gushing because this is so beautiful. As Pin has these life-changing experiences, her melody expands. It’s played by a glockenspiel now, the same instrument that has been mostly Anil’s up until that point. The tempo is off, restless. It doesn’t fit the accompaniment. Yet. Something shook Pin’s world, and she has yet to regain balance.

French kiss – Pentatonic flourish

In my last post, I promised to take a look at the pentatonic shenanigans that happen every time Anil and Pin are close. When Pin massages Anil. When Anil smells Pin’s hair. When Anil draws Pin close at the pond. When Anil kisses Pin in a way from which there is no return. Semi-quavers are drizzling on our eardrums, the measure is almost undeterminable.

Pin’s theme is back to its usual piano, but it's off beat now. Accomplished, less tame. Then Anil explains the French kiss to her and leans in a second time. The accompaniment narrows to one sequence that is repeated time and again, and once more there's Pin's theme, off beat. She has found her confidence. She is part of the music, and part of something even more beautiful.

Remember the other pin I was talking about earlier? How, during the butterfly kiss, Anil’s theme is played on the glockenspiel in a high octave? Well, during the French kiss, we can hear the first three notes of Anil’s theme, on the piano. Just as Pin has borrowed Anil’s instrument, Anil is now borrowing Pin’s, and even more importantly: they're on the same instrument now. Both of their themes are reduced to the first few notes, Anil's in a low octave that we haven't heard before. The low pitch has a calming quality. It provides the foundation for the last two high piano notes: the first note of Pin's theme, played twice. In my head, Pin is saying "I ... I ...," without even knowing how to finish that sentence, and instead giving up. Giving in.

Dear friends ... this show is so bloody beautiful! I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’ve spent way too much time revelling in the soundscape of this episode, and I regret nothing. If the show ended now, there would still be heaps of things to talk about. But it's not ending. It's just starting out and that is making my undescribably happy.

The fact that the premise of the show seems designed for me (sapphic, historical, South-East Asian) tells me that The Loyal Pin is not the most lucrative story to tell. To have hundreds of people dedicating time, work and skill into telling this story, supported by the Ministry of Commerce, no less, leaves me in tears. What a journey! Thank you for travelling with me!

#long post #sorry again for the quality of the soundclips #if I had recorded everything the way I wanted to #this post would have been published around christmas #if at all #thank you so much for reading #this show y'all #this show #the loyal pin #thai love you #Utsch choosing music

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ethanmorales · 2 years ago

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Misconceptions

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Part 4 - Air

Pairing: Ethan Morales x fem reader 4.1k words Requested Tags: @arij3lly@hitoshislut@bjrmaybank@ghostfaceorgirlfriend @in-silverlake @misacc08 Warnings: swearing, smut

It's the beginning of a brand-new school year at Sherman Oaks high. The last year for some of us; me included. But the start of my senior year, ironically, is not the reason my legs are wobbly. Nope, that was all because of Ethan, who had knocked on my window for a late-night visit about 6 hours ago. There were a few things he wanted to try so… let’s just say, it was a good thing my mom had the night shift at the hospital.

It’s only been a week since our first time. Only a week since he admitted having feelings for me. Unfortunately, we didn’t discuss the matter further. My mom had gotten home after his confession, and he practically had to take his clothes and run out the back door before we got caught. We’ve met almost every day since, but we haven’t talked about us. We kiss a lot and of course we have sex, sometimes we even cuddle, and we talk about our days, but we never talk about what we are to each other and at this point, I’m afraid to ask.

I loved every second of the time we’ve spent together. But now that school has started again, I’m afraid. Afraid that things will go back to how they used to be. Afraid that a new girl will catch his attention. I know it makes no sense, after he confessed to having feelings for me, but the heart is a treacherous thing. You can never trust it. I most certainly don’t trust mine. It always makes me feel crazy most times. Or maybe it’s my mind that’s the problem.

It doesn’t help that it’s almost time for first period and I’ve not heard from Ethan yet. He usually texts me as soon as he wakes up. Today? Nada. I even texted him first, but he left me on read. So, I’m spiraling, just a little bit. I think I’m entitled to in this situation.

I glance around the hallway one more time as the bell rings. I don’t see him anywhere. At that moment, Devi links her arm around mine. “That was the bell ringing just now,” she said, pointing a finger in the air.

I ignored the sarcasm but let her steer me away to our first class.

“I was expecting some witty remark,” she said, when I didn’t reply.

I force myself to smile, “Sorry, head in the clouds today.”

“It’s okay, girl. The first day of school sucks. My sleeping schedule is so messed up from a summer full of all-nighters.”

I quirk an eyebrow at this, “Do these all-nighters have a name?”

Devi shakes her head furiously, “Nope. No name at all.” I pretended to believe her as our teacher walked in the door, closing it behind him. I look back to Ethan’s desk but it’s empty. I hide my phone under the desk and shoot him a quick text.

Skipping on the first day? That’s bad, even for you.

Devi smacks the top of my desk, eyes wide. I glance to the front of the classroom and see the teacher is staring right at me. “Sorry, Mr. Shapiro.”

He sighs, “You guys are lucky I am the coolest teacher ever,” he continues before anyone can respond. “Raise of hands if you completed your summer reading,” pauses, “Yes, the audio book counts. No, the movie does not.”

The rest of the class was a blur. A glance at my phone confirmed that Ethan hadn’t responded. The anxiety in my chest continued to grow as time continued to pass. At lunchtime I still hadn’t heard from him. At this point, I was angry.

Fuming, I stomped all the way to my locker, putting away my books and backpack for the hour. As I’m closing the door, Dominic Stryker leans against the locker next to mine. Dominic was an exchange student that started late last semester. Everyone was surprisingly welcoming to him, but that might have something to do with the fact that he’s hot. Mind you, I only have eyes for Ethan but if I didn’t, the windswept blond hair and bright blue eyes would do it for me.

But Ethan was very much the only person that I wanted, so Dominic’s presence only served to irritate me more.

“Yes?” I asked when he just stared at me, sweeping his hair back with his hand.

Unfazed by my tone, he smiles warmly at me, “Say, have you seen Ethan anywhere? He hasn’t been in any of our classes.”

I frown at this, “Of all the people you could ask, why would I know where he is?”

Dominic shrugs, “I just got a vibe last time, like you were into him or something.”

I huffed. “I am definitely not into him.” I say it louder than I intend to, and some people slow down to look at us. He waves at them, and they quickly carry on with their business.

“My bad,” he says, looking back at me, smiling wider, “Just a misunderstanding.”

I sigh, once I realize that I’m being snappy and rude. “I’m sorry. It’s not been a great morning, I’m a little on edge. There’s no excuse for taking it out on you.”

Dominic slides over the lockers a bit, cutting some of the distance between us; then lowers his voice.

“I forgive you,” he says, “but I might have to seek compensation for the emotional damage.”

I roll my eyes, but a smile does tug at my lips. “Whatever. I’ll buy you a soda. Is that compensation enough?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “How about a meal? After school?”

I suddenly realized that he was asking about Ethan to make sure he could make his move. And I basically gave him the opening. Horrified, I struggle to respond.

“I- uh

“She’s busy after school.” The voice was very close behind me. I turned around so quickly that I bumped into his chest.

“Ethan.” Even at my addressing him, he didn’t look at me. His eyes were fixed on Dominic. For the moment, I ceased to exist.

“I think Y/N can decide if she’s busy or not,” Dominic says, standing up straighter to look down at Ethan. But Ethan seems unfazed.

“I think you need to keep walking before I lose my patience.” Ethan’s words were calm, but I knew him well enough to know this was the calm before the storm. I’ve seen him fight before; Dominic did not stand a chance if it turned into that.

“Guys, please. Just stop. If you get detention this week, they won’t let you come to homecoming.” I was trying to be the voice of reason, but my reasoning was lacking in many ways. My audience could care less about homecoming, for one.

“I’m still waiting for a response, “Dominic says, ignoring my previous statement. “Food after school? I know a cool spot.”

Ethan pulls me to the side so that he can face Dominic without me being in the middle.

“I already told you that she’s busy.” Ethan’s voice was not as calm as before. His hands were balled into fists. I knew I had to stop this now or it would turn into a fight.

“I got a lot going on right now, sorry Dominic.” My words come out quick.

Ethan smiled at this, motioning towards me. “You heard her. Now go find someone else to hit on.”

Dominic’s expression was deadly as he stared back at Ethan, but then his gaze turned to me.

“I thought you were definitely not into him,” he said it in a mocking tone, air quotations in the air. I didn’t know what to say that could make this better, so I just looked at him with what I hoped looked like a silent apology. He just shook his head in disbelief as he pushed past us, finally leaving us alone.

Even with his departure, Ethan stays in place, still not looking at me.

“Ethan?” I finally say.

I jump in surprise as he slams his fist on the locker door and I see the metal bend.

“Oh my God,” I grab his arm and pull him away before anyone sees what he did. I haul him through the hallway and take a left, this part of school is empty during lunch time. I find the nearest door and push him through it. I lock the door behind us and turn around. It’s the faculty bathroom, I realize.

“Are you insane? Do you know how much trouble you could get into for damaging school property? You don’t need a vandalism strike on your records.”

He finally turns to face me, but the expression on his face is even angrier than before.

“What the fuck do I care about that?” he replies. Before I can start listing the reasons why he should care, he continues, “What the fuck was that shit about?” He points to the door, but I know he is talking about Dominic. I stay quiet for a moment, not sure how to proceed. I had never seen him this angry. Ever. But at the same time, screw him. I was angry at him myself.

“I should be the one asking you, what the fuck was that? I’ve been looking for you all morning and texting you and nothing. You ghost me and then have the audacity to throw a jealous scene over some guy asking me out?!” The volume of my voice rose with each word.

I half expected Ethan to throw more angry words at me, or to yell back at me, but it was the opposite. His voice low, he responds. “I dropped my phone in the toilet this morning.”

I stare, waiting for the punchline but he doesn’t say anything else.

“You dropped your phone in the toilet,” I repeat, not sure if I believed it.

Ethan let out an annoyed breath, “I was going to respond to your text, and I dropped it. If you texted after the first one that I read, I haven’t seen them. I left my phone in a bowl of rice.”

I scoff, “Your phone is waterproof.”

Ethan gives me a pointed look, “Not if you leave it in water for a long time, apparently.”

“Why would you leave it in there at all?”

Silence.

“Ethan, I am trying to give you the chance to explain.”

He mumbled something under his breath.

I take a step closer to hear him better. “What was that?”

Ethan shakes his head. “My parents were fighting again.”

“Oh.” Is all I can say.

Ethan laughs, but the sound is bitter.

“Yeah. So, I’m sorry I couldn’t get back to you then. But you letting this dick hit on you while I’m dealing with that shit. Fuck that.”

I suddenly felt terrible, even though I didn’t know what was happening until he explained. We kept ending up in this situation, always with a misunderstanding. But I knew the only reason this kept happening is because our communication was shit. Because I didn’t know where we stood.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize he was hitting on me until it was too late.” I finally say.

Ethan scoffs – not amused.

“What are we?” I finally ask, exasperated. As soon as the words spill out of my mouth, I regret them. This was the last thing Ethan would want to talk about with everything going on.

Ethan just stares at me. Looking beautiful and tortured.

“Sorry. Forget I said anything,” my voice trembles and I hate it.

Ethan steps closer. “Are you serious?”

I meet his gaze, but I can’t decipher the emotion in his eye.

“I said forget about it!” I start turning to leave, embarrassed at my outburst. Ethan just pulls me into him and kisses me. I’m too stunned to respond to his kiss, which seems to upset Ethan more as he pushes me into the bathroom sink, kissing me more aggressively. I give in and kiss him back. His tongue quickly starts a tug of war with mine as he deepens the kiss. After a moment of this, I can’t remember what we were arguing about in the first place. All I can think about is the way his mouth moves with mine, effortlessly. His hands on my waist, then lower, cupping my butt. I pull away for a moment, “It’s the teacher’s bathroom,” I said, my voice breathless.

“I don’t give a fuck,” is all he says, as he kisses me once more, then stops, “You asked me a question. I’m making my point.” I try to remember what the question was but then we’re back at it and I forget to remember.

Ethan plops me on top of the sink as we continue kissing. I feel one of his hands on my thigh and then moving slowly up under my skirt.

“Fuck.” He groans against my lips. I smile, knowing that he has realized I’m not wearing underwear.

“This better have been for me and not for that asshole,” he says as his fingers caress my opening.

I look at him, annoyed. Smack him in the chest. “Do you really think I care about Dominic?”

Ethan holds my gaze steadily and my heart flutters. Stupid body. Why do you have to react in the most annoying ways at the worst possible times. Who cares about his beautiful caramel skin and beautiful brown eyes. He is a jerk.

“I hope not.” He finally says.

“What?”

“I hope you don’t care about him. I hope you only care about me.”

My heart speeds up. “I don’t care about him or any other guy.” I start to tell him that he was the only one I care about, but I don’t get a chance to tell him. In that moment, he slips a finger inside of me and I gasp in surprise. Ethan holds my gaze as he slips a second finger in. I let out a shaky breath as he starts moving in and out.

“I’m the only guy who’s allowed to do this, do you understand?” His tone was a mixture of anger and lust. I was holding on to his arms for dear life as he pumped his fingers in and out of me, then he presses on my clitoris with both fingers, which makes me moan involuntarily. I claw my nails into his arms to keep myself together.

“Do you understand?” he asks again. Fighting the ache building up inside me and breathing heavier by the second, I nod.

His fingers stop moving suddenly, leaving with their absence, a vengeful kind of coldness and I whine in protest. “Ethannn”

“Say it.” He demands. I frown at him, annoyed.

“Fine. You’re the only one who is allowed to do this.”

He smirks. “Yeah, I am.”

I think of an insult to throw at him but never get to say it. At my saying what he wants to hear, Ethan’s hands spread my legs apart and he kneels, his head disappearing under my skirt. Still, I’m not prepared for the attack from his tongue.

Ethan’s POV

I’m not proud at how I reacted about that dick hitting on her, but when I walked over and heard him flirting with her and then asking her out… It felt like I was set on fire by some supernatural being. It took all of me not to pummel him right there. The nerve on this fucker; to ask my girl out. But what really fucked me up is that she didn’t immediately reject him. That felt like a stab to the heart. I wanted to burn the whole damn world down.

Once in the bathroom, as we threw angry words at each other I realized what the problem was. We both care too fucking much, but we also hold back even more.

Most of the anger in me dissipates at her words when she finally says what I want to hear, even if she only says them because I told her to. I don’t know how to say the things I want to say, so I decided to show her to the best of my abilities. I drop to my knees and in between her legs and under the shield of her skirt, I kiss her in her wetness. I hear her breathing pick up as I suck at her clit; her hand grabbing at my hair. I groan, turned on even more at the simple gesture. I loved it when she did that.

I pull away and she practically whimpers. “Don’t stop.”

I stand up and look at her. Her cheeks are flushed, her chest moving fast with shallow breaths. I feel more blood rushing to my dick. The pain is almost unbearable now.

“Hang on, baby.” I fumble with the button in my jeans. Once I pull them with my boxers, I let her look at me for a moment, the desire in her eyes just driving me to the edge. I pull her to me for a second, kiss her lips softly and smile.

“Now turn around,” I order.

She looks confused for a second, but she does as she is told. Her doing everything I ask her makes me so fucking horny, she has no idea how much power she has over me. Fueled by an animalistic kind of desire, I guide her to a bending position and hold her hips with both my hands. Without a word, I push myself into her. I see her grab onto the sink to support herself as I drive myself deeper inside her. I give her a moment to get used to the feeling since it’s the first time we have done this.

I can see her flushed face through the mirror and when she makes eye contact with me, I catch the silent plea. At this, I lose whatever is left of my sanity. I plunge myself inside of her. She moans and I follow, as I slip in and out. As I watch our reflections in the mirror, I see when she starts to close her eyes as the pleasure continues to build. I hate the idea of her not looking at me when I’m inside her. I pulled out and turn her around to face me.

“Don’t take your eyes off me.”

I lift her onto the sink again and hold her gaze as I shove my throbbing dick inside her again. At this angle, her head falls back when she screams. I grab her face to make her look at me.

“God, Ethan.” Her reaction eggs me on. I move faster, knowing I have a limited time to make her cum. I was barely hanging on as it is. Our breaths were labored as I continued to fuck her. You could hear her wetness as I moved, but her pussy continued to tighten around me so I knew she was close. I slid out a bit and positioned myself slightly to the left before I pushed myself in again. She screamed, loudly this time. I smiled at finding the right spot and moved faster. This time, as if we were in sync, we came together. Once we rode the wave, breathing heavily, I gently helped her off the sink. After pulling my pants up, I loop my arms around her and rest my sweaty forehead against hers. We both closed our eyes, trying to catch our breath.

“What I was trying to say is… you’re mine.” I finally found the words.

I open my eyes to find her watching me. Her face gets redder. I’m confused for a moment and then realize why she’s upset.

“And I’m yours. I thought that part was obvious.” I say.

Y/N narrows her eyes at me, and I laugh.

“How is that obvious?” she asks.

“I told you how I felt last week. If anything, I’m the only one that should be angry. You never told me how you felt about me.”

“I thought that part was obvious.” She throws the words back at me, her tone playful.

I smile and kiss her deeply.

“So how do you feel about me?” I ask after we stop.

I didn’t want to admit that it had bothered me so much. We’ve spent the last week glued to each other and not once had she brought it up, so I decided to not bring it up and make an even bigger fool out of myself. But the more days passed, the more insecure I became. That’s probably why I lost my mind earlier.

Y/N smiles softly and cups my face with her hands.

“I’ve been crazy about you for I don’t know how long,” she says. I smiled at her words, the heavy feeling in my chest finally easing.

“Me? But I suck,” I say jokingly.

“Yet I’m still in love with you.” She pushes at me gently, embarrassed. I grin like an idiot at her declaration.

I grab her face and kiss her again. Once, twice, three times.

“Ethan,” she giggles. I bury my face in her neck and kiss her there too, holding her tightly against me.

“I love you too.” I say.

When she looks at me, I see stars in eyes.

A knock on the door makes us both jump.

“Shit.”

Y/N POV

“Oh God, we’re going to get expelled.”

Ethan chuckles at this and I smack his arm.

“Just deny everything. They didn’t see anything so it’s their word against ours.”

I shake my head, “But the door was locked.”

“Hey,” he says, lifting my chin up, “You trust me?”

I nod and he smiles.

“Then follow my lead.”

I do. I walk slowly behind him, fighting the soreness in my body and holding on to Ethan’s arm when I notice how shaky my legs are. Ethan looks beside me and realizes. He gives me what seems to be an apologetic smile.

We moved to the door, which was still being knocked on. He turns the lock and opens it.

We’re both surprised to see Paxton standing there, swimming coach uniform on. I don’t think Ethan was prepared to see him of all people. He stays quiet.

Paxton looks at him and then me, almost trying to hide a smile.

“You guys should go. Now. Be thankful it was me.”

I let out a sigh of relief and so did Ethan. We started moving around him and out into the hallway, but Paxton put a hand up to stop me as I was about to walk past him.

“You might want to try being a bit more… discreet next time.” I look at him, confused and he elaborates, stepping closer to not be heard. “You were loud. Like very loud.” I blush furiously at his words and speed away from him. I heard him chucking behind me.

The end of lunch arrives at the sound of the bell and suddenly the empty hallways fill up again, everyone going into classrooms and their lockers to pick up their stuff at the last minute. As we’re moving through the people around us, Ethan’s hand slips into mine and he interlocks our fingers. I quickly looked at him in a question. But he just smiles. We walk to my next classroom, and he walks in with me, hand in hand, even though we don’t share this class. We get to my desk, which coincidentally, is next to Dominic’s. I understand now.

“Thanks for walking me.” I say, shyly. I hear my classmates whistling and adding commentary in the background. I sit down but notice Ethan hasn’t moved from his spot. I look at him in a question. He then bends down and kisses me long. I vaguely hear angry muttering beside me, but I ignore it, lost in the kiss.

“Good afternoon Mr. Morales. I wasn’t aware I had you in this class.” My math teacher had arrived.

Ethan winked at me as he moved away to leave. “I’m out,” he tells my teacher, hands up in surrender, turns around and points at me, “I just wanted to take care of my lady.”

The whole class reacts loudly.

I sink lower into my desk. Still, I smile. He was announcing to the world that we’re together, claiming me in front of everyone. I couldn’t imagine ever being happier than I was in that moment.

The End.

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A/N: Thank you all for reading! You are bomb! Hope you enjoyed this little story of mine. I enjoyed writing it. Stay tuned for other fanfics and/or one shots about Ethan. ☺️

Stay awesome, much love xx

#ethan morales #ethan morales fanfic #ethan morales x reader #never have i ever #never have i ever season 4 #ben gross #devi vishwakumar #michael cimino #nhie #nhie s4

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