#weird that you all have this in common fellas

[mo-ok]

how to tell when a red is going to have a dramatic bloody hands on sword moment:

kendo intro.

[rae-writes]

familiars

Mammon, Satan, Asmo || 0.8k wc || crack post [to make up for all the angst recently] ft. menace mc (Tannie's is my favorite bc that's literally me)

Mammon

The second born was on his way to Lucifer’s office again when he saw you plopped on the common room floor

You had tons of materials surrounding you : scissors, needles, thread, fabric, small stickers— even glitter glue! 

Mammon didn’t have the time to stop and ask why, he just chalked it up to his little human just doing their weird little human things

After he was dismissed from Lucifer’s office (and after a 3 fucking hour long lecture), he made his way back to the common room, but you were gone

In your place was a yellow sticky note that read “Hey Mammon! Don’t freak out, I just went outside for a bit <3” 

And that made him freak out even more

Because it was raining like all fuck out there

So he scrambles to the entrance hall and throws open the front door, ready to yell, when he just stops 

You’re crouched down on the steps with an umbrella over you while his crow familiars hop around your feet

They’re all decked out in tiny rain hats, rain coats, and some of his older ones even have small rain boots

Currently, you’re putting a glittery gold lookin set on Mammon’s youngest crow and the demon’s heart swells

The crows notice him fairly quickly and begin to jump around even more, making you look back and beam 

“Hi Mamoney! Alright little fella, you’re all good to go now! Go say hi to Mammon!” 

He could cry. Literally sob at how fucking cute this is

“Aw, guys! Look at ya!” He pets them over their hats, grinnin’ ear to ear, “Mc. You didn’t tell me you wanted to parent the kids with me.” 

You laughed, making him grin even more. “You mentioned them getting cold when they got rained on so I figured I’d help out! Don’t they just look so cute?!” 

Mammon’s eyes were practically heart shaped, “y-yeah…”

(he absolutely gets you and him a rain set so you can all go out in them like a big family) 

(and yes his brothers made fun of him for it and no he didn’t care— especially not when you slapped them with your wet rain hat)

Satan 

You and Satan were out on a simple walk. A relaxing, uneventful walk

That is until you get approached by a fucking unicorn

You don’t know what the hell to do or say- you just kinda stand there staring for a minute while Satan pets his uh…friend. He chuckles at your response, raising an eyebrow when you hold a single finger up

“Someone either slipped me some severe drugs or you’re just a stone cold traitor who did not tell me he was bffs with this gorgeous creature. Both of which I will take offense to.” 

“I deeply apologize for my transgressions, my love.” 

You glanced at the unicorn with a look of ‘can you fucking believe this guy’ before raising a hand, “May I?” 

You received a neigh, to which you leaned in closer and stroked up its nose, where you then received a delighted huff 

“I would die for you.” 

Satan snorted, shoulders shaking with barely contained laughter. His laughter only got louder when his familiar looked at him with the equivalent expression of ‘how dare you keep this human from me’ 

“Yes, yes, I should’ve introduced you two sooner. Are we done pouting now?” 

You and the unicorn looked at eachother. Then at Satan. Then back to each other. “No.”

He smiled, still amused, “then how about a ride through town? I’ll walk beside you.”

“Like the peasant you are. Alright- onward, Uni! Let’s go kick a guy in the gut.”

...perhaps Satan had been leaving you alone with Belphie for too long

Asmo 

For once (though not for long), the House of Lamentation was peacefully quiet

Most of them were doing their own thing in the common room, existing without a hitch beside each other— a perfect day, in Lucifer’s opinion 

“EEEEKKK!”

The sound was extremely high pitched and cracked, but it was written off as ‘just Mammon doing something stupid again’ 

Yeah…until he walked through the door asking what the hell that noise was. Then they all did a headcount- you were the only one not present 

Asmo turned into the world’s biggest track star in that moment and made his way to you first, finding you floating in mid air at the entrance hall

And on the floor was a sleek black scorpion just…sitting there

“Hon…don’t tell me you’re scared of my gorgeous little baby?!” 

You stared at him like he was fucking nuts— which you thought so in that moment. “I’m sorry, I was a bit too focused on the stINGER!” 

“He doesn’t sting anyone unless I tell him too, Hon, no worries!” 

…’no worries’ he says, as if the creepy thing wasn’t among the most dangerous animals to humans. And a human, you were 

In fairness, the scorpion was not so horrible looking. It’s tail faded into a hot pink like Azzy’s horns and it’s feet(?) we’re tipped with gold. And it had a faint sparkly coat. Of course. 

“Okay…I can deal with this…I guess he is..kind of..pretty..?” 

“Indeed he is! I shine him myself! You wanna hold him?” 

“No, that’s alrig— STOP BRINGING IT CLOSER!”

[superconductivebean]

#994: Hogwarts Inquires - 117

Did you know? - 18

The text on the Boards from the Undercroft:

appears before the In the Shadow of the Estate quest.

Few attempts on text legibility were made here and in the reblogs of that post. And no, these notes do not belong to Sebastian -- it is a headcanon.

We do not know the author. Howevor, Isidora is the most probable candidate for the authorship due to the name 'Percival' appearing but the what is likely a timestamp, 1632, veils on that probability, if to assume it is a timestamp, of course. It might be not. We don't know.

Interestingly, the artist tasked to fill up the boards wrote the spellings of the Middle English words: weter, strem, ston, chaungeable.

Diacritical marks were not widely used in the writings done in this language, if at all. You can read about it in more detail here.

These symbols are the triskelion and the valknut:

The latter although predates the Viking era, may not be as old as the former; the former is common in many of ancient art, going as far deep into the ancient history as Helladic and Mycenaean eras of the Ancient Greece and the neolithic mound in Meath, Ireland. Weirdly, the stone objects MC can throw with magic have blue-ish carved symbols on their surface; the carvings look somewhat distinctly Pictish, the choose for colour therefore sounds… like it's Let's Throw Everything Ancient To The Region To The Greater Mix Of Things.

This knot:

is the doire / dara knot; symbolises the oak tree, perhaps the most sacred among Celtic people.

This bit could be important to remember: according to this website, Oak's astrological period starts at June 10 and ends at July 7.

These:

are half Alchemy symbols for basic elements (tin, lead, silver, gold, mercury, etc), half transfiguration alphabet as seen from this image:

This little fella is Saturn/lead:

The congregation of the points at the lower left eludes me but the number of points is 7 and the number 7 appears on the end point of the dimensional door aka the wall MC and Sebastian appear at after they are teleported back to the Undercroft from the Isidora's estate:

Perhaps it tells us Isidora had 7 hideouts and not 3? Besides, the number 7 is the number of the planets corresponding to the 7 metals:

Sun - Gold - ☉

Moon - Silver - ☽

Mercury - Quicksilver - ☿

Venus - Copper - ♀

Mars - Iron - ���

Jupiter - Tin - ♃

Saturn - Lead - ♄

Uranus, Nepture, and Pluto aren't a part of Alchemy due to a very simple reason: by the time Uranus was officially discovered in the 1781, Robert Boyle had already published the book The Sceptical Chymist: or Chymico-Physical Doubts & Paradoxes, in 1661. He'd effectively removed the word 'Alchemy' from the use and replaced it with the word 'Chemistry', thus also avoiding the confusion between branches of Alchemy that did research on various materials (that includes spagyric teachings; Paracelsian physicians were the people turning poisons into cures and remedy) -- and what people inspired by Hermes Trismegistus developed smooshing many different things together, such as philosophy, alchemy, astrology, etc, creating a wtf.

I'd say it gives geodesy but may also be a weird depiction of the sal commune err common salt:

What to say about these I can't decide, but they look like ~compound names for various alchemical substances, from left to right: Spiritus Fumans (Stannic Chloride), Aqua Tofana (the infamous tasteless belladonna poison), and Verdigris (Carbonate of Copper, once used as a green pigment; was mildly toxic):

What it's supposed to mean eludes me, besides, it is an assumption.

What I suppose it should mean: something Isidora, if that belongs to her, found; all things besides Verdigris were discovered after her death in the late 1400s, however, there is a person who could've been trying to decipher… these things.

In the In the Shadow of the Undercroft quest Sebastian mentions:

No, someone in his family knew about it [the Undercroft]. The Gaunts are full of secrets.

That Gaunt should've been alive in 1632, assuming it is a timestamp. They also needed to be at school at the time, so could be a professor, a member of the staff (a gamekeeper, for example), a Headmaster; unlikely it was Corvinus Gaunt, who was a student by the time the castle would receive plumbing update (late 17th--early 18th century).

'Aura? Ancient Magik' has to become my favourite kind of explaining things to meself because I, too, have no idea what this means:

I can only tell some text is in Greek. An attempt to type after this bit yielded some results:

Ιαεω is probably Ιασω, recovering&recuperation;

ΒαθρεμονΝΟΝΙΛα is probably βαθμολογία, a degree of smth or a grade;

ρπδ is a greek numerical for 184;

φ, a golden ration mention?;

πδ has to do with the Ptolemy's table of chords?

May not be linked to the much speculated Ancient Magic's capability of healing anything but more so of a celestial body's movement, tied, anyhow, to the Magic's power. Probably.

Speaking of which, Is this the constellation of Lacerta? The number of stars doesn't match, however. Lacerta has 9, this one appears to have 10 or 11; likely 11 + it has a satellite constellation of just 3 stars. I summon astronomy nerds to solve this one + the text and the table below is likely have something to do with Astronomy. I might also suggest: weirdly drawn Draco.

[anabdaniels]

I have a request if you don’t mind. I would love to see how Agent Whiskey is when it comes to dating a trans masc person. Maybe the reader has a crush, but always sees him flirting with women, and isn’t sure. It could end in a sweet smut where he shows you how handsome the reader is. Im just so feral for this man and I know he’s so sweet to his lovers 🥰🥰🥰

Hi there! First of all, forgive me for the eternity it took me to write this hahaha. I loved your request, and yes, we know Jack is a sweetheart with his partners. Hope you enjoy it! 🥰

Heart to heart, eyes to eyes

Paring: Agent Whiskey x TransMasc!Reader

Word counting: 3.4k

Rating: +18

Warnings: Slight mentions of transphobia, minor mentions of male unpleasant behavior (not related with our cowboy, as always), reader does binding and haven't done any gender-affirming surgery (Is this the right name of it? I don't trust google 100% with these topics.), slight smut, fingering, unprotected sex, implied age gap (only if you squint), no beta (we die like half of Pedro's characters).

A/N: This is a new field of writing for me and I did my research to not mess up with anything, but I highly appreciate (respectful) corrections in case I had write anything I shouldn't.

Masterlist

Despite not being the most antisocial person in the world, you used to run from some of the Statesman parties, even after working there for a few years, you still couldn't understand how everyone in the company seemed to have so much disposition for parties and alcohol.

That was one of the occasions when you made an exception and attended the party, regretting immediately when you saw that some guys from another distillery had been invited; while Statesman people could drink a whole barrel of bourbon and still keep their common sense and morals untouched, those fellas from the other company were a bunch of douchebags even before they started to drink.

You looked over the party to find your group and, judging by the expression on their face, you weren’t the only one hating the presence of the guests. You approached your friends with a slight smile, stopping next to them.

“Y’all could’ve texted me about those assholes, I’d have come back home.” You said letting clear your dissatisfaction.

“And have one less person to hate ‘em with us?” Tequila retorted before taking a sip of his bourbon.

“I hate to be this type of person, but I’m with Tequila on this.” Ginger affirmed in her usual calm tone.

“Seems that at least one of us is having fun with them.” You pointed while observing Jack seeming to be having the time of his life while talking to the guys along with Champ, envying those scumbags for a moment, after all, it must be amazing to have Jack that excited and close to you. You took a sip of your Marguerita to ignore your thoughts, not wanting to let your teenager-in-love-like thoughts take over. During all that time you worked at Statesman, you could see Jack having most of the ladies sighing for him, but you never got anything concrete when the subjects were men. He seemed to be sympathetic and friendly with most of them, but nothing more than that. You weren’t up to being the one to find it out, only the scenario of making your friendship with him weird with your feelings already made you uncomfortable enough.

Your wandering thoughts were cut when you saw Jack walking towards the group, rolling his eyes and loosening his tie after taking the remaining whiskey in his glass at one sip.

“This job ain’t worth the stress.” Jack sounded drained “Those fellas can’t be for real.” He shook his head and leaned on the wall next to you.

“What was it this time? All women are gold-diggers or the world is losing its values?” Ginger rolled her eyes as she remembered the miserable few times she had to talk to them.

“Yeah, they complained ‘bout women, even that I doubt they ever touched one and started with the whole anti-gay bullshit. Next time Champ calls them, I ain’t showing up.” Jack snorted and rubbed his temples.

“Now that ya back, can we get outta here?” Tequila questioned without disguise how much he was hating every minute of that and Jack agreed promptly.

As it was usual when the parties were horrible, the four of you left the bottle-shaped building and walked to the bar on the dependences of the distillery. Jack unlocked the front door and turned on the lights, already walking behind the counter, making himself comfortable with a glass of whiskey. You smirked at the opportunity to mess with him a bit and sat on one barstool, resting both elbows on the counter.

“Can you get me a drink handsome?” you pressed your lips together, doing your best to pretend you weren’t feeling butterflies in your stomach. Engaging your little joke, Jack threw a dishcloth over his shoulder and placed a toothpick on the corner of his mouth while approaching you.

“And what such a beautiful thing likes to drink?” he asked with his hands resting on his side of the corner, smirking with the charm that only Jack Daniels could have.

“A Statesman with coke.” You emphasized the Statesman part, looking from the crown of his Stetson to the top of his boots, daring the most you were capable of at the moment to clarify what you meant, feeling your legs trembling with the chance of it getting wrong. Jack wasn’t naive, he knew very well the difference between a joke between two friends and an actual flirt, and he was aware that you weren’t joking with him.

“You ain’t only a gorgeous face, hum? Have an amazing taste either.” Jack winked at you and moved to grab the drink for you.

If wasn’t for the rush of adrenaline, you would’ve noticed Ginger and Tequila chuckling and nudging each other with their elbows while observing you and Jack interacting, both staying at a safe distance to not interrupt the moment since they had noticed long ago that you had a little crush on Jack.

Despite feeling your heart beating in your throat, you kept a neutral expression as Jack handed you the glass and drank from it, running your tongue over your lips as you tasted the drink, mesmerized by how talented Jack seemed to be doing anything he tried.

“I’m starting to believe that the looks of the bartender match the quality of the drink.” You pointed in a soft tone.

“Is this good or bad?” Jack asked with a smirk, his lips glistening wet by the whiskey.

“In your case, is fantastic.” You shrugged with a playful smile, taking another sip of your drink.

The moment was interrupted by someone’s phone ringing, you and Jack looked towards the other side of the room, seeing Ginger picking up her phone with a not-amused expression, rolling her eyes a few times during the call. When she was done, she sighed and finished her drink.

“Apparently Champ talked too much about our technologies to those bastards and now they want to hear more.” Ginger explained unpleased with the situation.

“My condolences.” You said playfully and she chuckled.

“This is the moment I consider starting to believe in supernatural forces to ask ‘em for help.” Ginger said calmly and looked at Tequila “I’ll not suffer by my own.”

“I’ll get another buzz and meet ya halfway.” Tequila answered without getting what Ginger was trying to do, making her raise her eyebrows and tilt her head slightly towards you and Jack, only then making him realize what she meant. “Y’know what? I’ll cause some deficit on the good drinks Champ saves for those assholes.”

Promptly they left, leaving you two alone; you felt a few butterflies in your stomach as you realized that, worrying about all the previous flirting jokes. Jack took a sip of his whiskey as he walked around the counter, sitting on the stool next to you.

“I thought you’d never admit it.” Jack said with a smirk, shamelessly looking at your mouth and then back to your eyes.

“What do you mean?” you questioned with a nervous chuckle, playing with the cup coaster on the counter.

“I ain’t blind, sugar. I’ve seen the way you looked at me.” He explained with no flourishes, making you turn red as the Budweiser cans on the fridge.

“Don’t get me wrong, Jack. I know we’re friends and co-workers and I get it if you didn’t like what I’ve said…” you got interrupted by Jack’s thumb pressing gently against your lips, making you weak on the heart.

“Calm down, sweetheart, I’ll not bite.” He leaned slightly forward to your face “Only if you ask.” Jack whispered and winked at you, keeping his hand on your face.

“So, you’re fine with it?” you asked hesitantly, fearing the answer. You knew Jack’s reputation as a heartthrob, but you always saw him with women, short, tall, black, white, skinny, fat, blond, brunette, ginger, blue eyes, dark eyes, everything, but always women.

“I’m more than fine.” He chuckled and caressed your cheek, leaning a bit more and pressing a gentle peck on your lips. You sighed louder than you expected and threw your arms around his neck, not hesitating to enjoy the opportunity life had just thrown on your lap, letting yourself go as he turned that into a real kiss.

Jack wasn’t clueless, realizing faster than the blink of an eye that you were into him and he couldn’t be more satisfied with it, after all, he was far away from having no interest in you, in fact, Jack had been interested in you since the very first day he saw you at the distillery, and after you started to work on the agency laboratory with Ginger, he was always finding an excuse to go there, but when you seemed to not be up to take a step huger than friendship even with the signs that you were into him, Jack conformed himself with being simply your friend. And, in your defense, at the beginning, you thought that Jack was only being sympathetic with you and when he started to frequently show up at the lab, you assumed that his thing was with Ginger, since they had a pretty strange relationship, seeming to hate each other sometimes, just to be all friendly and holding each other the next day.

You got lost in your thoughts as you processed that you were truly tucked between Jack’s arms, feeling your heartbeat wilder than ever as the adrenaline ran through your body. When Jack got out of his stool and stood between your legs with one hand in your hair and the other on your hip, you felt a hint of disappointment at the bottom of your heart, but at the same time you weren’t surprised; he wouldn’t be the first man to want to hook up with you in an arguable place, away from everyone.

But, of course, Jack Daniels wasn’t an ordinary predictable man.

Realizing that you seemed slightly tense, Jack assumed that he had moved a bit too fast, so he leaned slightly back, keeping his hands on you and resting his forehead against yours with a satisfied smirk on his face.

“Y’ okay, honey?” he asked quietly, gently rubbing his thumb on your hip.

“Yes.” You nodded while assimilating the unexpected changing of events “Just processing everything.” You admitted the truth and chuckled, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“We have all night for you to put yourself together.” He whispered and pressed another soft kiss on your mouth, making you smile against his lips.

As both of you expected, at some point in the night Jack was requested to get back at the party. You got back with him, imagining that he would act as always around you in front of other people and you couldn’t be more mistaken. He walked holding your hand all the way back to the central building and didn’t let go of you once you were back at the party, randomly passing one arm around your waist or caressing your fingers while speaking with everyone.

It seemed to take forever until the party ended and you were thanking all the possible existent deities for it. Catching you by surprise, but not that much since you knew him very well, Jack offered to take you home and you accepted without thinking much before answer, but you sure were thinking even less when you invited him to enter while he was parking in front of your house.

Everything after that seemed like one of the thousands of thirsty dreams you used to have; the first 20 minutes you two spent complaining about everything you could at that party were fine, but then came that miserable elephant-in-the-room moment, that both of you knew that was necessary to talk about, but wasn’t that easy to start, so the most you dared to do was kiss Jack’s cheek and try your lucky nestling on his arms, being warmly hugged by him while his fingers caressed your scalp, ending up with both of you falling asleep on the couch.

Heaven.

Undoubtedly you were feeling in heaven those last weeks.

On the years of friendship, you had already realized that Jack was an incredible person, but you were amazingly surprised with how much of an amazing boyfriend he could be and how proud he seemed every time he had the chance to show you off. Every time he saw you around Statesman, he wouldn’t waste the chance of holding or kissing you, always seeming to be the happiest someone could be.

You got to spend a lot of time at each other’s house, and that Saturday wasn’t different. Jack had picked you up in the middle of the morning and as usual made sure to keep you comfortable and papered while he cooked lunch, only the smell of it making you hungry. Once the meal was done, somehow you ended up tucked on Jack’s lap while eating, being distracted a few times by him cleaning the food sauce from the corner of your mouth or simply leaning to kiss the top of your head or the curve or your neck. The cold winter afternoon made the bed way too inviting, so you and Jack got cozily under the covers, talking about a lot of stuff, per usual, Jack didn’t waste the opportunity of dropping a few flirting comments, extinguishing your focus on anything else.

Another thing that wasn’t a novelty, there was a reason why the two of you had spent a good amount of time making out, only making out.

Yes, you were completely feral for Jack and he needed no effort to throw your libido in the heights, but you needed some time before taking a bigger step, still unsure of how it’d work, after all, the most you were in love with Jack, he still was a middle-aged southern cowboy and you didn’t have the best experiences with this category of men.

As usual, you worried only about enjoying the moment, not being able to say when you got mounted on top of Jack, sighing heavily as his hands moved over your back, thighs, and ass. With the passing time, things started to get more complicated to manage; you started to feel your body heat getting almost unbearable, your breath was getting complicated to catch since Jack seemed focused on leaving you breathless, and the soft nudge of his restrained erection between your legs didn’t make you any favor.

Diving on your desires, you sneaked your hands under Jack’s shirt, groping his skin as you moved your hips involuntarily against his fly, sighing heavily against his lips. Following your rhythm, Jack allowed his hands to travel over your body, sneaking in your t-shirt, and making you contort involuntarily under his calloused palms. You didn’t think much about what you were doing as you completely untucked Jack’s shirt from his jeans and started to open its buttons.

Your wave of courage was cut at the very second you realized Jack’s hands reaching your binder, making you freeze and lean slightly backward. Jack realized immediately that something was wrong and cupped one of your cheeks.

“What’s wrong, sugar?”

“I might’ve not told you some details between the lines.” You spoke quietly, sitting on his thighs “I haven’t made any surgery after the transition.” You looked away chewing your bottom lip “And now you probably see me as a woman.” You couldn’t hold back your pre-judgment, after all wouldn’t be the first time someone invalidated who you were simply because you didn’t feel the necessity to make any surgical change.

“Hell no.” Jack retorted without second thoughts, getting sat on the bed on a jump, keeping you cooed on his lap “I’d never start to see my man as a woman because of a little detail like this. You’re a guy, if I wasn’t aware of the details, I’d surely think you always have been a man… No, I mean, I know you always have been a man, but I think you got what I’m trying to say.” You couldn’t hold back a chuckle with his little desperation to explain himself, afraid to sound like a jerk.

“I got what you mean, don’t worry.” You smiled and leaned to give a peck on his lips “So, you’re fine with it?”

“Not wanting to sound harsh, but I don’t care about these things. I like who you are, I like you being a man, I’d like if you were a woman, or if you weren’t neither of them.” He confirmed calmly, catching you by surprise with his last remark.

“Someone has made his homework about the queer community, hum?” you questioned playfully, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Sincerely I got lost about some stuff, but was quite interesting.” He confirmed resting both hands on your thighs, caressing your skin softly.

“Don’t worry, you’re getting the way.” You said in a melted chuckle and leaned to press your lips on his, sighing as he grabbed you by the hips, flipping you to lay on your back.

Once more you saw yourself lost in Jack’s kisses, having a hard time concentrating on resuming your task, getting rid of his shirt. The further you got into removing each other’s clothes, the more you knew you’d be obsessed with having the warm feeling of his skin all over yours, especially when he was that gentle with you, even when was clear that he was as thirsty as you.

Any crumb of hesitation you could have left vanished as you dived into the attention of your handsome cowboy and, once his idle fingers reached between your legs, everything was a blur in your mind: his mustache tickling against your neck, his free hand caressing from the middle of your chest to your lower stomach, his velvety voice whispering and mumbling about how handsome you were, how soft you felt on his hands, how much he was planning to make you lose your straight thoughts even more. There was no room for you to do more than dive in on his teasing and fall apart on his fingers, contorting and whimpering as your orgasm made your muscles feel like jelly.

Fascinated by the vision of you boneless, Jack couldn’t help himself, picking you and nestling you on his lap as you calmed down while he soothingly rubbed your back. When you recovered strength enough to straighten up, you didn’t beat around the bush to get mounted on Jack’s thighs, eager than ever to go forward, wondering how better that could get.

“I hope all your bragging about your stamina at Statesman wasn’t a lie, ‘cause you might’ve just encouraged my dirty thoughts.” You said with a soft smile, hanging your arms on his neck.

“Y’ can bet I can deal with your naughty, honey.” Jack affirmed with his usual cocky grin, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer, shamelessly letting his hard cock nudge your throbbing core, taking a quiet whimper of you.

“Now that’s some good news.” You retorted playfully and moved further, slowly taking him inch by inch inside you. Wanting to savor that moment, you sank your face into the curve of his neck, taking a second to enjoy everything going on.

Amused by your contemplative manner, Jack wrapped one arm around your waist and leaned you against the pillows, kneeling between your legs without moving your upper body away from his. Bracing himself in one arm while keeping the other around you, he started to move at a calm pace. Your moan came out louder than you expected, but you couldn’t help it while feeling that good, all cozy while nestled in Jack’s arms, surer than ever that letting him know you had a crush on him was the best decision you ever made in your life.

Getting that deep in your thoughts, only worked to make everything feel even more intense, making you unconsciously squirm and sink your hands on Jack’s skin, squeezing it tight.

“Everything alright, love?” Jack asked as he felt you tensing up.

“Yes.” You nodded slowly, needing a bit of effort to open your eyes and look at him “Just got a bit carried away here.” You admitted and leaned your head, resting your forehead on his jaw, smiling with his low chuckle.

“You better get used to it, beautiful boy.” He answered playfully and kissed the top of your head “I have no plans to stay away from you.” Your smile widened and you tucked yourself even more against him, having no doubts that he meant it.

Tagging: @missladym1981

[bitzandbotz]

Rolfe Dewolfe Headcanons!

He is my current microwave blorbo (he is rotating around in my brain rn) and I have many thoughts about him!

This post is sfw of course!

He has a huge inferiority complex and some major ego issues. Bro is a little delulu but we love that.

I headcanon that Wolfman (lead singer of The Wolf Pack 5) is his older brother. This is where a large majority of his insecurities stem from, as his brother is far more well-liked and successful than he is.

He struggles to emulate Wolfman’s natural charm and charisma, so his attempts come off as forced and disingenuous as a result… Just ✨neurodivergent things✨

Not a headcanon but he forged prescriptions for pain medication???? Back pain allegedly, according to the Smitty’s introduction tape at least. Perhaps he’s a chronic pain king who couldn’t afford them!

I know it’s heavily implied that Earle is his own entity and whatnot, but I personally prefer the idea that Rolfe is just using his puppet to vent his frustrations with… Well, himself! It’s his own way of trying to tell people he’s self aware, but everyone seems to take his outlandish persona seriously…

Going based on that headcanon, he’d have to have some good vocal range too. His singing voice might not be the best but he’s definitely got some good impressions up his sleeve.

He’s funnier when he’s being authentic and not trying to be funny, if that makes sense. His jokes on stage are all very corny but behind the scenes I think he has his own unique sense of humor that the others often miss out on.

He loves disco. Canon technically, but it’s cute enough to mention. He was probably going to a lot of discotechs back when he was younger, since he was likely a young man during the time period in which disco would be relevant.

Age wise I feel like he’d be somewhere in his 30s-40s. Gray is a common color for wolves but he gives washed up celebrity vibes, yk?

He could wear shoes but he chooses not to wear them, it’s a sensory thing. He doesn’t like how constricting they feel, and I’d imagine it’d be hard finding shoes in his size anyway.

He’s the typa fella to go to sleep with that old ahh nightgown and the long droopy hat and comically flap his jowls when he snores.

Him and Fats bicker a lot but I think it’s mostly playful banter, they’re the kind of friends who start fake beef with each other just for fun. Fats is probably the one he’s closest to out of the band members, since they have a mutual understanding of one another and what makes each other tick.

Absolutely a terrible shopper. Do not send him to the store (even with a list), he will buy the most expensive versions of everything and a bunch of stuff you didn’t ask for (he only wants the best for you but he can’t keep paying 50$ for orange juice 😭).

In denial about his wrinkles. He’s still fresh as a daisy, or at least that’s what he tells you. His rosy cheeks are real though, no makeup needed for those.

If he gets frustrated enough he’ll do that dog thing that’s not a growl but a little bit of a low rumble.

In high school, he was the “weird puppet guy.” It was like every social interaction with him was a dry run for his future standup routines, he’d never talk to anyone without Earle also being involved in the conversation. It was a comfort thing for him, and it made interacting with others easier, but most people thought he was just weird for it. Once again I say ✨neurodivergent things✨

Avid vest and bowtie collector of course. He’s like Saul Goodman if he didn’t wear pants.

He knows how to play some weirdly specific instrument that sadly wouldn’t fit in with the rest of the bands lineup, but it’s something you’d never know until you’re like shopping for a replacement for your instrument and you see him trot over to a fucking theremin and start making some alien invasion ahh music

[kwillow]

What traits do the people in theos choosen few have?

Ngl theo definitely seems like he'd be the kind of guy to enjoy quietly spending time with someone where you're both in the same room but doing different things, but like no talking, no contact, just in each other's presence

I'm answering this one a bit out of the context of Amaranthine specifically because it got me thinking about all the various people Theo's gotten close to in all his incarnations as a character over the past too-many years. Not all of these characters are in his "current" story, but the through-line of his desired traits in a "chosen one" are there nonetheless. He's developed a diverse set of friends that don't have too much in common at first blush. But there are a few commonalities!

As established, Theo is extremely paranoid and has been burned by people many times before, which is one of his many barriers to getting close to others. A person often needs to have a quality that makes them feel more "safe" to him in order for him to stop seeing them as a potential enemy. Most often, this trait is "innocence" or "naïveté," or put in another sense, being so stupid Theo can't possibly imagine them trying to betray him. In one AU (Fallout), he developed weird friendships with three people (Jack, Frank and Dwight) because he thought they were all incredibly dumb and utterly clueless and therefore anything kind they did for him was probably genuine. In another roleplay I did with him, he very quickly developed a bond (and very one-sided infatuation) with a blind woman. She literally couldn't judge him on appearances, so he felt less defensive around her.

He tends to feel even more guarded around men compared to women for various reasons (daddy issues, bad school experiences, often more physically threatening to a little guy like him, feeling the primal urge to battle for dominance, so on), so it's theoretically easier for him to become close to women. At least, it's harder for him to start off on the complete wrong foot with a woman than he can with a man, where he takes a look at a random fellow and just decides he's a "bad sort" and cannot be convinced otherwise. That said, he can get close to fellas and he absolutely can learn to loathe a woman, as Hyden and (eventually) Alex could attest.

Hyden gets around the paranoia by being someone who Theo thought was dead for hundreds of years. It's safe to idolize a dead man because he'll never hurt you. Of course, Hyden isn't dead, but Theo already developed his imaginary bond with Hyden-as-historical-figure before he found that out, so Hyden got to fast-track the Theo friendship process.

He also thrives off of being people's protector (which is kind of hard as an asthmatic little person whose main form of exercise is lifting heavy books off the shelf, but he tries). The easiest way to forge a connection with him is to make him happen to stand between you and someone who strikes him as a "bully." Yes, like many men who would dare to say "milady," he is a white knight in pinstriped armor. It is very, VERY hard for him to resist the urge to defend someone he's been made to feel a sense of responsibility for, even if his more cynical side is telling him to just leave someone to their fate. Of course, that's all very noble until he ends up resolutely defending an evil warlock from the people whose lives were destroyed by evil warlock magic.

Theo also isn't someone who really grew up having those things called "friends." He tends to have trouble conceptualizing what a relationship between peers is even supposed to be like. Therefore, he tends to shirk his "equals" and instead is unconsciously more drawn to people he considers either above or below himself in station, intelligence, age etc., as that gives him more of an idea of how he's supposed to behave. He tends to seek out relationships he can imagine to mirror familial bonds (replacement parental figures or "wards") or mythologized dynamics from fantasy novels (handmaidens and feudal lords) because those are the dynamics he's familiar with and feels he can fulfill the duties of, more or less. (That said, he prefers people "below" him in almost every circumstance due to insecurity reasons.) If given enough time, he can ease out of those roles and into a more balanced connection, though.

ALL THAT SAID, none of this is a guarantee. Someone could be a completely innocent, harmless little peasant waif who gets beaten up by burly football players on his doorstop every day and he could still just slam the door and yell at them to stop annoying him with all that racket. In the end, excepting rare impulses of charity, he's a deeply unpleasant and misanthropic man driven by irrational pseudo-logic and unstable moods - you kind of just have to be there at the right time to catch him when his rotten little heart is open.

FINALLY, as for enjoying parallel relaxation as quality time, I'd say that's his "default" mode of enjoying people's company. But he can learn to enjoy more energetic ways of bonding with people (maybe a little too much... he can have some serious thrill-seeking issues if exposure to enough excitement brings them out). As much as he'd insist he could only tolerate another person if they have a taste for opera and quiet reflection, I think he could really get into a monster truck rally if he'd let himself get in the mood for it.

[dailymothanon]

Washington cuz the weather told me to draw him 🫵 also, Washington has white hair, grunge boy, frog boy… yreeahhh texture yuuaahh 😛 grunge is hard for me. I can’t tell which references are better and more historically accurate than the others

This is the plain version bblaygg 😈 his design is heavily inspired off of my girlfriend’s design btw! Very very similar I could basically say they’re the same design tbh so I give design credit to her

I like to imagine countless times that atleast once has Washington begged Alaska for coffee because the rest of the west hid his coffee (for his own good) and Anchorage is also too much of a coffee lover and Alaska is chill

(Alaska gave in, ik he probably felt bad seeing Washington be all soppy and pathetic without his coffee. He can handle a little bit of scolding for indulging in the sulky fella’s needs)

Dare I say Alaska gets babygirl treatment. I have my reasons

Big trust energy with me fr I know that Maine 110% gives Alaska hand massages. Big trust me, Ik this cuz yknow that weird sorta nervous feeling you get in your arms and hands for certain things?? I actually have no idea how common that is that is totally Alaska I am not projecting at all and not at all why I pop my fingers and wrist way too much btw. Plus that midnight sun totally gives him a tough time sleeping and yknow what helps?? Hand massages. Also a great stress reliever, I know this cuz I do. Why are you still reading this

Okay yall I just found out the weird feeling I get in my arms and hands is likely anxiety and the need to stim 🔥🔥🔥 I did not know that

[kaipotato]

Announcement regarding my Hermitcraft AU

hello fellas! I am happy to announce the start of the fic writing for my Hermitcraft AU, which is currently dubbed the merger au, but the name is subject to change

there is a public doc with the lore, species, and introductory stuff which can be found here

canon designs will be posted over the coming week(s), starting the day this is posted

i will try to be consistent with chapters and im planning for once every month or sooner if possible

this is also my first ever fic so it WILL have flaws

the fic will contain light shipping with NO nsfw content, possible gore, and horror imagery so if any of that makes you uncomfortable DO NOT INTERACT

all shipping is of the characters, not ccs

and for the people who are new to the au, here is the intro which is also avalible on the public spreadsheet:

-------

[The fic would follow the pov of Scar but may alternate sometimes. It is set in season 10 and Scar is still suffering the effects of Secret Life.]

 Since Scar never died in Secret Life, he was pulled out of the loop manually by the secret keeper and was almost coaxed into becoming one, but he escaped in time before any major damage was done. 

Except the secret keeper follows him.

When Scar fled the watchers' realm, he accidentally led the secret keeper to the Hermitcraft S10 world, giving them access to it and every other Hermitcraft world before it. In an attempt to communicate with Scar and bring him back to the watchers,the secret keeper uses this new “tool” to mess with reality and merge the different worlds. Some days, a random building from season 8 might show up in a crater, other days Larry may return because “the snails built him on the cart” (lie), and sometimes this even affects the hermits themselves, causing sudden wardrobe, personality, and motive changes.

 Like how Joel randomly grew a Tanooki tail when joining the server. 

Many people blamed the servers' already weird aspects in terms of species, but others suspected it was caused by the transition to becoming a “hermit.” Joel himself claimed it was caused by too much time around Etho and that it was because “Etho is so obsessed he used his mind to give me a tail so that we had something in common.” No one believed him.

And we can’t forget Etho somehow getting a glass monopoly, which was also pointed out by some when the permits were handed out, and is also not possible since every hermit only got 6 shopping permits. The keeper seemed to favor Etho in this way.

Maybe it was Magic Mountain’s looming presence and mystic powers, but Scar felt that many things were off this season. From the weird references to past seasons, Etho’s odd luck, Joel’s mutations or…..

…..was it the feeling of not being alone?

---

aaand thats all you get for now ;)

all content will be under the hermitcraft merger au tag and any ideas or fanart is welcome! <3

[tytarax]

Something about Escanor with a younger girlfriend please? 😊

The dude's 40 if anyone is wondering

he finds it difficult to see you as his equal at first

He's the sin of pride, what did you expect?

and if the age gap is larger than 20 years he might sometimes wonder if you’re truly serious about being with him

or if you just try to get something out of this relationship

it’s just pretty hard to believe that someone so young would want to settle with him

Lady (Y/N), you don’t have to pretend to like older men for my sake. If this relationship causes you any sort of discomfort we can end it.

in the beginning, he would also feel kinda of disgusted with himself for harboring such impure and inappropriate feelings toward someone younger

so yeah it takes a lot of time for him to get used to it and overcome the insecurities he had concerning your relationship

of course, there is also a lot of teasing coming from the other sins 

especially those who are around your age

still, comments like

I never knew you liked them young

or

damn, she's into older dudes?

will be quite common, but Escanor tries not to pay any mind to them

he does wish that people would finally accept and get over it, just like he has

there are moments when the age gap shows though, but he takes it more humorous now and even finds it somewhat amusing when you refer to him as an ‘old fella’ or something similar-

after all, you decided to be with him so don’t come complaining now lol

You’ve got some weird taste, lady (Y/N)… But in the end, it is I who profits from it, right?

Masterpost

7DS Masterlist

[skarts-0206]

MULTIVERSAL MAY! - DAY 18 - GANZ (GZ!TALE SANS)

Day 18 and I wanted to draw Ganz because his one of my favorites, and also because I love his comic, I know it is a little bit edgy but is very good anyways

He is such a poor guy with the worst luck in the entire multiverse, he lost his abusive father that maked experiments on him in a accident, his brother become an edgy Royal Guard that doesn't care about him anymore because he hurt him without wanted to, he see a literally child that was trying to save die in his arms and because of that becomes a traitor of his own kind, he gets abandoned by his only friend when he was fucking weak and practically dying, HE GOT FUCKING MANIPULATED TO KILL HIS HUMAN FRIEND WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER. He really needs tons of hugs and love for all that he lived.

So... Because of that... My mind have the great idea of shipp him with Delta!Sans, because wait not? They have so much in common, like... Have weird black stripes of his faces, be super strong and also have a traumatic past, maybe the trauma of Delta isn't that bigger than the Ganz's trauma list but it works for me.

There you have uwu

((Bro- I just notice I make Deltas arm so bad help :())

Ganz: Do you think that I'm cute?

Delta: Uh... Kinda... Hehehehe

Anyways this is a MULTIVERSAL MAY not a SHIPPING SEPTEMBER of something so this is the first and last time I made shipp art for this challenge (For now) (Sorry not sorry GanzxDelta fans, maybe another day)

Welp I made an infodump about Ganz and my cursed shipp so I'm done- See ya tomorrow fellas

Ganz is owner by nyriatamare (link here)

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Serverstuck anon again, I found the announcement for that weird name ban.... it's a long one so buckle up:

Pt1 "@/everyone Hey fellas! It's no-fun big boss man time, here to say "no fun!" Recently, we've had an overload of character submissions with human words for names. This has always been against the rules, but due to lax rulings by the team in the past, a few characters have slipped through the cracks. I want to tell everyone we no longer accept characters whos names are troll names! This includes…

Human names on trolls (Oscarr Isaack)

English words (Lizard Kisser)

Words from non-English languages (Cheval Jambon)

Attempts to cleverly fool the mods by changing the spelling the word in a way that still sounds like the words (Lizerd Kissur) It is, unfortunately, kind of immersion breaking to walk into a thread to see a character called Peanut Butter just chilling, which breaks our Setting Breaking rule. We will henceforth not read submissions with rulebreaking names. Can't think of a name? Change some consonants! Our beloved Lizerd Kissur doesn't work, but let's substitute some letters, and hey, Vizert Gissur works pretty nice! If you have a character with a name like this, it'd be pretty cool if you changed it, but we won't enforce it. We accepted it, and you're all good! Here's a meme my dad sent me."

Pt 2 "Hey @/everyone ! A follow up announcement to yesterday's name ruling. I've seen a few people get confused about intention, so we're clarifying what is and isn't meant by our "no words" rule! In short, the "no words" rule could probably be more accurately put as "no words… unless they're obscure". A lot of the character submissions we were rejecting were words that were instantly recognisable (Vampyr, Tohbie, Garcon as equivalent examples). These names are very quickly recognisable as to their meaning— they're either mispellings of recognisable words, or common words in recognisable languages. What is okay, however, are English words nobody's ever going to say in regular conversation.

For example, want to name your librarian who makes a lot of footnotes "Ibidem"? Cool, no problem. Your character who specialises in string instruments is called "Buzuki"? Yeah, go for it. I guarantee nobody reading this knows what either of those are without googling it— and THAT'S the key here. We all know Eridan, Nepeta, Aradia, etc, that canon Homestuck characters have names derived from other words. But generally, these names are very obscure, and you are more likely than not going to not recognise them when you see them for the first time.

It's been pointed out that a lot of existing characters had names like these accepted, both on the mod team and off it. Some are entirely accidental— the Princess, for example, is named Anette, which was meant to be a pun of Marionette, but is also a French name. Other times, it's obviously intended, like Irstax the IRS Tax troll. "Mods!" I hear you cry. "Why is this allowed? Why are the mods allowed to do this, but not us? You are fiends, moderators! You have no honour, and Valhalla will spit you out when you die!" First off, yeah. Second off, it's very true that there's lots of existing characters with names like that.

The reason for the inconsistency is much more innocuous than a coordinated favouritism campaign though: not all the mods were on the same page about name rules. What was fine to some wasn't to others, so it was kind of luck of the draw as to whether your name got accepted or not depending on the mod going through your application. The rule being more closely enforced came up after the mods sat down, discussed it with one another after we noticed a lot of characters with these types of names, and decided this was the best way to handle the server, to be fairer to everyone. The mods are just as bound to them as anyone else, and we're not going to force any existing trolls to change names; we're just going to be a little stricter on characters named Funnie Joekes or the likes.

Again: classic, obscure word Homestuck names like Eridan, Bombyx or Jezail are fine! We never said they weren't. In fact, I encourage them to have etymology! Just make sure there's effort put into them to keep the setting Homestuck feeling."

Lizzerd Kissur is one of the most Homestuck sounding names I've ever heard, tbh.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

ASGD Species Lore #01

This is gonna be about the Serpenskolk, a species native to the planet Shiznoska in the Lunamaru Star System.

The Serpenskolk commonly look like a hybrid between a raptor, a bird, & a snek. But since their name references "serpen" which is often associated with danger noodles, they are usually associated with snakes & not raptors at all. (Even though they are primarily based on ratorso, they just have snake & bird elements) They however seem to stand up like humans though which is also a common thing about them & have elf ears.

Each tribe of Serpenskolks has their own culture, ideals/beliefs, body types, & ways of living. But what is common about them is they do have the capability to change their birth gender at will & can even change their colors if desired (& even some bits of their culture is somewhqt similar). But at rare times, Serpenskolks cant be born with these natural abilities so they much go with artificial means to do those. They will have a major difference in their tribe type like the huge claws used for digging of the Devinka or the beautiful & glowy feathers of the Blimoscenes. Some Serpenskolk can even have wings & very weird horn shapes.. Their eyes however will always be unique to the individual.

While they can exist EVERYWHERE on Shiznoska, their main home is Tabilta, the land their ancestors decided to live on many many years ago. They are actually extremely close relatives to the Englomia, Dravolshi, Kektarin, Dukano, & Zenkumok as they all originated from the same ancestor. (Although the Dravolshi look more like their ancestors since the other species are uh..... a outcome from inbreeding....)

Tabilta used to be a pretty peaceful land until the birth & rise of their current ruler, Alder'Sokk Ichelmol the Serpent King. Due to this Tabilta has been... not so friendly to the point some individuals (like Insharia & her husband Periose) ran into different continents to get away from the madness. This has lasted for at least 40 years (Yes, 40 frikin years). This also spark major stigma for the Blimoscene Tribe, a tribe of Serpenskolks while peaceful, are also the most beautiful & graceful of the tribes. (This is bcs the king is hella racist to those poor fellas who did nothing wrong but exist)

As for their diet, their diet consists of bugs, fruits, vegetables, grains, nuts, fish, poultry, & meat. (Yes, they are omnivores but do prefer meat & fruits) These are all of things used inside of their cuisine, but each tribe's food is very different, even if they use the same ingredients. Some of these ingredients are, however, not what you see if you were only on earth. They are not wasteful of the stuff they use. If there's an animal they have hunted down/killed for food... THEY WILL USE IT ALL! It's pretty much a global thing. But the only person... well, Serpenskolk.. is the king himself. (Bcs he's a rich & pompous a-hole). Camagoomi (a type of bird) bone marrow soup & noodles are very common foods, but like with the difference thing in mind, they do make it their own way. (Before you ask, the Camagoomi is a large bird that is native to Tabilta itself. It weirdly enough also has the properties of a cow but can also fly. However, they don't fly often but are extremely dangerous. Very common in Serpenskolk culture as a food source or a source for milk)

Serpenskolk often wear what let's their body color stand out. A example is the Devinka who often wear more thicker cloths as a they live a much colder & albiet sandy area of Tabilta. (They wear fingerless gloves so digging can be easier) but when it is hot they only seem to wear crop tops (in the form of a x). The color of a a Devinka however is often warm colors minus the color of their skin, which is the color of a human & their hair is normally a bright color. So they often wera slight duller shades of pastels to somwhat match with their hair. The Serpenskolk are also extremely good weapon smith's & are infamous for their knives which are often sold by Serpenskolk traders in space. Each knife however is pretty expensive bcs welp... they aren't really being sold on their home planet which is cheaper.

Also some goofy ahh bonuses: They are very much born with hair, however, it's just feathers that are so small that idk if you can consider it as frikin feathers. The feather are actually really soft & a bunch of them feels like fur. Also unlike alot of reptilian species, The Serpenskolk & Dravolshi are the only native races if Shiznoska that can give live birth (even though they are not mammals). They also have very good hearing & good eyesight.

& heres a morbid fact: Back in the old times, the Serpenskolk used to... eat their young if they were deformed or diseased/disabled. However, this will only make then sick bcs IDK WHY YUR COMMITING CANNIBALISM ON A SICK CHILD! Nowadays they use medicine & surgeries like everyone else.

So yeh that all I have for the Serpenskolk... I... I h8 writing... especially lore... BUT ITS WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE A THING TAHT MAKES FRACKIN SENSE NOW INNIT?

[positivelybeastly]

Tell me why Simon’s upcoming marvel verse tpb (releasing between xforce 49 and 50) decided to highlight that issue (the one where Hank kisses Simon) out of all the possible issues that actually like. Are meaningful for him as a character and his supporting cast not just the one where he gets gay kissed by a guy who proceedes to dress up in his clothes, his girlfriend wonders if she would be better off getting back with his brother, and the guy who kissed him calls him a chickenplucker before he dips. Like it’s not really an important Simon issue, probably not even the best Hank/simon friendship issue but it kind of feels like they’re saying getting gay kissed by Hank is at least the fourth most important thing ever to happen to Simon, possibly more so than the whole evil and robot brothers thing

I do not understand I feel like the goof kiss is something that can very easily be interpreted as homophobic since essentially it’s saying “what if two men kissed would that be wacky or what”. Why would you bring that up again. Unless…? (Bi Hank real?)

"C'maaaaaan, you aren't still dwelling on that ol' gag, are you? It was for fun! You don't think Bugs Bunny has feelings for other fellas, do you? Just a little harmless horsing around, between two old buddies who hadn't seen each other in a while, on account of one of them being dead! We all get a little excited when that happens, don't we?

. . . Okay, so maybe that doesn't happen to you guys so often, but when it happens here, that's a - very common reaction. Nothing gay about it. And it's not like there's anything wrong with being gay, or bi, or any of that, either! I'm just not. Capiche?"

So, this is one of those things where it's like - I'm 99% certain this is just a weird coincidence, or that this was picked by a staffer with a sense of humour, or something, BUT.

There's the 1%.

There's the one 1% that has to check, and, hey, what happens if you Google Wonder Man Beast?

NOW.

I WILLL ADMIT THAT PERHAPS THERE IS SOME SEARCH ENGINE SKEWING GOING ON.

BUT.

THAT IS FAN ART OF GAY HANK AND SIMON ON ROW ONE, PEOPLE.

The cover for the issue with the kiss is row two!

The kiss itself is row three!

Like, full disclosure, I have absolutely Googled 'Wonder Man Beast kiss before', to get the panel to talk about my thoughts on Hank's sexuality before, so maybe there's some stuff going on, but, friends, Google 'Wonder Man Beast' and tell me what YOU see, because I am curious.

But for real, let's talk about this TPB.

Read this product description.

"Learn more about Wonder Man, the energy-powered Avenger who doubles as a movie star, before and after the release of the Disney+ series!

Few heroes in the Marvel-Verse are more wondrous than Wonder Man and none is a bigger draw at the box office! Get to know Simon Williams, the world’s greatest Avenger-turned-movie star, beginning with his momentous debut - in which he is gifted amazing power, but must defeat Earth’s Mightiest Heroes in exchange! Will he go bad, or make a heroic sacrifice? Don’t count Wonder Man out just yet!

Soon he’s back, breaking into Hollywood and tussling with heavyweights like the Sandman and the Abomination! But who needs enemies when you can have a best friend like Hank McCoy, the bouncing, blue-furred Beast? Prepare to discover why Simon and Hank are the greatest double act in Avengers history!"

I should remind you, this is not the Beast and Wonder Man book, that is a SEPARATE collection. A separate collection with art that has been HALVED to make THIS collection's cover, I know that Nick Bradshaw art anywhere.

But let's also talk about the issue selection!

"Avengers (1963) #9" - makes sense! His very first appearance, his villain turn, his death. You HAVE to include the origin issue, it's the law. 5/5, perfect choice if you want to know what Simon is.

"Wonder Man (1986) #1" - first issue of his first solo series! Absolutely makes sense, fun little one-off thing that shows how Simon is adjusting after his hero turn, shows off his personality, self-contained, beautiful. 5/5, excellent choice.

"West Coast Avengers (1985) #25" - fun little story showing off his movie career and his up and down relationship with fame! And it doesn't rely too much on other continuity, you can just pick it up and go and have fun, even if the other Avengers parts might confuse you a bit. 4/5, good choice, a bit of a deep cut.

"Avengers (1998) #14" - awright, let's pull this one up and have a look. What is this issue actually about?

Our cover.

Hmm. Well, they seem like good friends!

Aw, cute! I love when comics break the fourth wall like this, I wonder what they have in store for us.

Oh! A . . . two page spread of, Hank . . . shouting, "Hi honey, I'm home!"

Looking a little demented, there, Hank, you okay?

. . . Hank? You . . . okay there?

. . . Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.

You - got him flowers, Hank?

H-Hank, you're . . . wearing, Simon's, old . . . safari jacket . . ?

So, there IS some Simon only stuff in here, which is good, and catches you up on some of the events of his other solo series, which is good! This is good Simon content! Okay, cool!

O-Oh.

Chickenplucker?

FUCKING WHAT.

Okay, we need to check another website, there's NO WAY.

THAT is the issue you chose?

THAT ONE?

Not A+X #12?

No, wait, shit, we're trying to beat the allegations.

Um. Um. What about, what about that one Avengers Annual?

SHIT, ABORT, ABORT.

Uncanny Avengers #28! That's good, wholesome fun, right?

FUCK. FUCK, FUCK ME, GODDAMN IT.

What about - what about Wonder Man vol. 2 #6? That's safe, right?

And at this point, the poor Marvel staffer gave up and said, FUCK IT, THE GAY KISS IS LESS GAY THAN THE REST OF THIS SHIT.

Like, come the fuck on, now.

But no, that's the reason why that issue is in there.

Because it's somehow less gay than every other interaction they've had.

I have no idea if it's intentional, but how has every single writer since 1981 managed to write these two like tender hearted lovers? Why does Simon at his most asshole in Wonder Man vol. 2 act like Hank is his personal damsel in distress and smile more at him than he does his girlfriends? It's not impossible to write male friendships in a non-gay way, it really isn't, and yet.

You keep.

Managing.

To make it like this.

Hank McCoy is bisexual and in love with Simon Williams. Whether he, or the writers, have realised it, THAT is the story they have managed to tell. Maybe one day they'll catch up.

Maybe one day soon, if they're smart.

[these-detestable-hands]

Shout out to your friend Crab! Fella's ask being answered is how I noticed THERE HAS BEEN A NEW ASK GAME!!!

---------------------------- ENEMY PHASE ----------------------------

LYNDIS ATTACKED:

📷 (because I like to see pictures)

🍫

🎵

🐰

🌼 (also because this is one of my lowkey favorite emojis)

💎

💌

🌸

💞 (you cannot tag this annoying ass blog by the name of @kafkaoftherubble)

----------------------------- PLAYER PHASE ------------------------------

How dare you add fire emblem pvp to ask games. I am going to kill you in one turn

📷: what's set as your phone lockscreen?

This octopath 2 official art! The game came out Feb 24th last year, so it's been for about a year now

🍫: cheese or chocolate?

These are such weird things to compare. Chocolate for sure. Favorite chocolate is any with crackers in it (especially salted crackers) and favorite cheese is mozzarella

🎵: last song you listened to?

I'm listening to 'Castti, the apothecary' from octopath 2 while answering this ask!

🐰: what do you think says the most about a person?

Their desk

🌼: what's the last thing you said out loud?

"I hate the road workers" (road work started like 20 meters from my bedroom today and I had to wake up to those sounds which sucks because I am genuinely scared of those kinds of sounds)

💎: what's your most prized possession?

Life sized common octopus plush. I got it for Christmas and have slept with it everyday since. I love it so very much. I love octopi a lot :]

💌: do you talk to yourself?

Yes, all the time. I love being home alone and loudly talking to myself.

🌸: best compliment you've ever received?

At a convention a few weeks ago, someone complimented the cosplay I had spent weeks on. Amazing feeling. Honestly I don't even remember exactly what anyone who complimented my cosplay said but it was great :3

💞: @ your favorite blog

@/octopath-traveler-ost

It's a blog that posts the soundtrack from octopath :3 very cool

[jfouler]

jamieverse vampire lore btw >:)

vampires all have some form of telekinesis/ability to control/manipulate Something. there's only one vampire that shows up in canon and then his half vampire kid, and they have a sort of technopathy ? and some light ferrokinesis/control over metal respectively . it could rly be anything. its something that sorta "awakens" like other vamp abilities. vampires all have some sort of manipulative power in some very specific area unique to them

the deities above will strike me down lest i ever create a sexy vampire. nuh uh! these fellas are nasty. when you get bitten by one it's like an excruciating insect sting. one of the worst pains in the world

it takes Three bites to be turned into a vampire in jamieworld. this has to include a bite on the neck, then just… wherever else but traditionally it's both wrists. so its actually quite an arduous task to turn into a vampire/turn someone into one

it is very common for vampires to refer to the people they've turned as their "children". weird? yes but it's simply the vocab.

a lot of vampires, unless they're particularly terrible, typically have some ability to erase/fog up memory, so whoever's bitten will forget the pain. cue waking up with mysterious puncture wounds on your wrist and also some weird trauma symptoms!

also, a lot of vampires don't actually hunt. blood functions kind of like drugs do for humans as in there's vampire blood dealers who do the hunting and they've got expensive brands and everything. 😭 quirked up vampires goated with the sauce(luxury brand mystery blood)

also bc vampires do indeed need this blood to live they've got a lot of corruption going on in the secret vampire society in the city. even immortal vampires are not immune to capitalism.

the most influential vampire in the fantasy united states pays his employees in bitcoin idk what you expect

[yourfavoritehouseplant]

You work in an arachnids lab?? Thats so cool!! Can you tell me about the research you're working on or the study organisms you're working with??

Oh absolutely!!! I’m gonna try not to doxx myself any more then I probably already have on this account though, so sorry if some things are kinda vague. Also keep in mind I’m just an Undergrad hired on as part time help!!

Also this is going to be long oh no

We technically work with Chelicerates, the subphylum that contains arachnids! The lab has a focus on phylogenetics and development, so our projects usually alternate between:

- trying to more densely sample the genomes of underdocumented chelicerate groups to create more accurate phylogenetic trees (we get weird samples in the mail of like. Sea spiders and horseshoe crabs for this). I usually don’t help with this kinda stuff.

- Knocking down genes of chelicerates we keep in the lab to better understand their genetic development, and how that may have changed over evolutionary time. (Out of convenience, all of the guys we have are just arachnids lol). Eyes, chelicerae, and legs especially have been really popular targets for this. These are usually the projects I help with (peeling and fixing embryos, micro injections, that kinda stuff)

I also take care of the little guys we keep in the lab so!! Here’s some fellas:

We mostly use the European Harvestman (a daddy longlegs!!) called Phalangium opilio. They’re easy to keep, have fewer genome duplications than true spiders so their genes are easier to knock down, and if we run out we can collect them off the side of a wall somewhere. Unrelated, but it was recently discovered that these little dudes have been hiding four secret additional eyes from us!

(I am not joking about the collecting off the walls part. I get paid to do that all summer. This is a picture I took on one of those walls.)

For spider stuff we keep the Common House Spider Parasteatoda tepidariorum. From what I understand they’re a pretty standard arachnid model.

These guys have tiny annoying embryos that suck to work on, so one of the grad students also tried to use tarantulas for a while. Apparently they suck as a model but we still have one as a lab pet.

Other past grad students have done work with pseudoscorpions, the sister group of scorpions. We have two species from two major orders:

For amblypigi we had Phrynus marginemaculatus. They move like freaky little crabs. They also kinda look like freaky little crabs. We don’t keep them anymore though :( I miss them.

For Uropygi we have the Giant Vinegaroon Mastigoproctus tohono. These little dudes are dumb as rocks and regularly miss crickets I’m trying to feed them at point-blank range. Fun fact but they get their name due to secreting acetic acid (vinegar) when they feel threatened!

Both pseudoscorpion models have what’s called antenniform legs, where their front walking legs are modified for sensory use. The genetic distinction between walking and antenniform legs during development have been a focus of a lot of research out of our lab.

We keep a much larger variety of model organisms than most other labs do, mostly because so many arachnid groups are super underrepresented in research. It’s something I really appreciate about working here. Anyway, that’s the end of this insane ramble, thanks so much for asking!!