#weird strange and awful documentation

[weirdstrangeandawful]

GETTING A WHEELCHAIR! I decided on an Apex C with power assist. Got fitted for it and tested it out in my flat, in corridors/elevators, and outside.

I did potentially maybe possibly definitely crash into a post… oops… power is hard.

Haven’t got a quote yet but I’m anticipating about CA$14000? It’s a terrifying number but it will be worth it I think.

Time to fight insurance!

[limes-sagau]

Mondstadt Sagau Shimegi AU Drabbles

I'm Alive! 

Sorry this took a hot minute to put out, but here's the Mondstadt edition of the Shimeji AU. I did every playable character from Mondstadt, some of them have shorter sections *cough* Mika *cough* simply because they haven't had much screen time in the game or I don't know them well enough. In the future I might do an update post for some of them. Also this should be treated like crack. Now that this is out I can move on to actually writing the First chapter of To Build A Haven which should be up soon. 

ALBEDO:

Curious but not a menace 

He looks at everything your doing with absolute interest 

He wanders around looking at what you're doing and writing what he observes down on a notepad. 

If He’s really interested in something on the page you're on like a photo or text he will snag it to get a closer look (for those who don't know there is a function that allows shimeji to grab items and take them off screen, this can be reversed by simply refreshing). 

He gets a little miffed when you refresh to get the item back in its correct place but he's not upset for long. 

If you leave your computer he will end up messing around and looking up articles on chemistry and physics, he tried searching up alchemy and he just got led down a rabbit hole that he later found out was all fake.

So there's no alchemy in your world, interesting! 

Uhh Oh! He accidentally duplicated! 

He’s immediately on guard once he sees the duplicate

Is that his twin! No wait, the mark on the twins neck is there!

He realizes it is just a full carbon copy of him that just wanders around mindlessly.

He will get a little antsy if you let the duplicates get out of hand in their numbers so make sure to dismiss the duplicates 

He just wants to study this strange world in peace. 

AMBER:

She confused as hell. 

She waves to you whenever you return from getting up from your computer 

She is the opposite of a menace. 

She almost is too helpful 

She sees her knightly duty in this weird in between world to be of help to you. 

If you're easily distracted while working on something like a document she will wave her hands around and try to get your attention so you get back to work. 

And while she is not an expert in grammar she’ll try her best to point out errors in your sentencing. 

When you're not working on something important she has a lot of fun climbing the walls of your screen and jumping off to glide across your screen. 

If you pick her up with your  cursor and toss her she’ll laugh and glide down

Don't shake her though! She’ll get dizzy!

BARBARA: 

Shy babbie!

At first she's kinda cowering in the corner so confused as to what's happening and in awe of your presence. 

Eventually she chills out a bit but she never fully relaxes.

You got spotify going in the background?

Great! This is how Barbara got introduced to (insert music genre here) or (insert artist here) 

She will be scandalized if you play something with profanity, innuendos, or sexual references.

Like full clutching of pearls

Do not play Squidwards Nose for her. She is sweet baby, she doesn't deserve that. 

I'm sorry if some of yall dont like what I'm about to say… but the moment you play one of Taylor Swift's songs she's hooked.

I'm talking like something from Folklore, Evermore, or Midnights.

Her favorites are Clean, Willow, and Snow on the Beach (she does not like the F bomb in that one though)

She does try to give everything you listen to a fair shot even if it might not be her style.

If she likes the song she will sing and dance along to it.

BENNETT: 

He fall over all the time 

So Bennett will be like climbing the side of your screen and will lose his grip and fall. 

If you catch him he'll be so happy.

Hes kinda wandering around your page

He do be trippin (and not in the fun way) 

There was this time where he picked up one of the items on your screen and didn't know how to set it down.

He ran around scared and confused until you refreshed the page. 

If you pick him up and shake him, he will get dizzy. 

DILUC: 

He’s pretty chill 

He will start wandering the internet if you leave him alone with your computer open

Hopefully he doesn't find your fanfics

Who introduced him to Batman?!?!

JUSTICE FOR MONDSTADT!!!

Not that big into the superhero movies but he does really connect with Batman, who would have guessed. 

Show him the Mt. Dew wine or the Peeps Wine from TikTok and the disappointment will be so evident on his face. 

That's not even wine 

If you do bring up some articles on wine brewing and aging techniques he will read them and take some of the methods to possibly use at Dawn Winery. 

DIONA: 

She small she baby 

Normally she’s chill

But If you drink in her presence be prepared to experience the menace of menaces

Every time you leave your computer unattended expect to come back to either your browser being on a local AA group website or on a study showing the impacts of alcohol on the body. 

She aggressively points at what's on screen whenever you come back

She can be reasoned with if you give her a pat.

She can also be pacified by one of those videos of birds meant for cats

She also likes those games made for cats where it's like a bug or ants crawling across the screen and you gotta crush them. 

She tries to jump around the screen but she short, holding her up to catch all the crawlies. 

EULA:

Eula is confused by modern internet slang 

She mainly stands guard in the corner not wanting to get in your way 

She's in the overly respectful gang 

Don't pick her up and shake her she will seek revenge

Likes the cat videos on facebook though

She like the “going no contact with toxic family” type videos on TikTok since she can relate. 

Boomer but she working on it 

FISCHL:

Who let this theater major in the building?

She is by far the most distracting shimeji you can have on your browser 

“The Prinzessin der Verurteilung desires your attention at all hours” 

When your working you literally have to dismiss her if you want to get work done

If you leave her on screen when you leave your computer you will come back to her somehow reading Twilight.

The can of worms has been opened and Fischl's Twilight phase has been unleashed.

She also grows to love shakespeare if you ever have to read one of his works for a class

Holds up skull “Alas poor Yorick”

She does hate The Taming of the Shrew (if you know you know)   

JEAN: 

Like her sister she is also a bit confused 

This internet lingo is so confusing 

This is a facebook mom 

How did she get an account? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

The funny thing is is that she successfully and pretty accurately shuts down alot of bigoted people 

She gain like a cult following of converted beige housewives 

KAEYA:

He isnt distracting like Fischl is but he’s like a cat who wants attention so they climb over your keyboard until you gotta move them and give them pets. 

Menace 

He’s the worst when it comes to fishing your fics out of your files when your away 

You gotta lock them up, time to move everything to your phone… rip storage space. 

You accidentally introduce Kaeya to his new guilty pleasure besides Wine… Horse Girl Movies!!!!

It's bad… It's really bad, his favorites are the movies Spirit and Felicity (yes the American girl movie).

The man misses his horse, why do the favonius cavalry have no horses? the captain of the calvary should have a horse!

He also is somewhat interested in the wine industry from around your world. 

He might give you a list of types he would like you to bring if you ever visit their world. 

KLEE:

Protect this one because she's so smol.

But also keep her from blowing up your documents-

She picks up whatever she wants and will set it down in the wrONg place but if you scold her about it she’ll give you puppy eyes and apologize.

And then do the exact same thing not ten minutes later.

She will wander around wherever she can so do not let her out of your sight. Open tabs, downloads, files, browser history, nothing is safe.

LISA:

similar to albedo in that she is curious about everything.

She likes that she can chill out and read whatever comes on screen

One of the worst if she finds your writing

She will correct your grammar and give suggestions while actively flirtily mocking your work. 

Likes making you flustered in the middle of work 

She requested you make her a playlist on spotify so you sit down and show her a few artists you think she would like 

She adds a bunch of music from (Hayley Kyoko, Muna, Clario, Mxmtoon, and Janelle Monae) 

She listens to it when she's on your computer and you aren't around while she looks through the internet.

MIKA:

I don't know this child!!! 

Literally I know nothing, hopefully he gets more character time in future quests

I'll come add more latter if we are given more 

Spawn in a Len(vocaloid) Shimeji and he’ll be so confused 

Who is this doppelganger! 

MONA:

Girl is going insane learning our world's zodiac system!

You have to dismiss her sometimes because she asks so many questions, some of which you don't know the answer to. 

“What Do You Mean? It's Considered A Pseudoscience!!!” 

She is beyond insulted if you don't believe in astrology.  

If you do believe in astrology she's so excited 

Give her your Natal chart and she’ll be ecstatic

After she learns everything she can about your world's astrology, whenever you boot up your computer she’ll give you your horoscope for the day.   

NOELLE:

She’s so polite! :D

Doesn’t do much climbing, but when she does it’s to clean the cobwebs in the corners of your tabs.

Will remind you to drink water and have stretch breaks every so often and will be very sad if you don't.

You better clear your browser history before she tries to take a broom to it. she doesn’t deserve to see what you look at, you degenerate fifth.

She either likes ICP or studio ghibli soundtracks; there is no inbetween.

RAZOR:

Precious Puppy™

He is very confused by the internet but he’s still very curious . 

Will patiently watch you work and will bite pop-up ads

Starts looking up pictures of wolves cause he's a precious baby and ends up in the furry community. He is very confused. He is very scared. Save him before he learns what an omega is.

ROSARIA: 

She's chill 

She's easily bored so she will on occasion if you are doing work just dip out 

How did she figure out how to dismiss herself?

Most of the time she leaves when your working 

She will stay if there is a church event back on Teyvat that she wants to get out of. 

If you summon Fischl they will both watch Twilight together 

Though Rosaria will leave after the first movie, she doesn’t like any of the other movies. 

She also has a few strong opinions on the way that Stephanie Meyer handled Native Americans in the book. 

SUCROSE: 

very curious and intrigued by the internet and will watch you work from the top of your tab and take notes.

will ask a bunch of questions about and google the answers when you leave.

got into a fight with a redditor about something sciencey you didn’t understand and battled that man for hours.

She won.

She likes watching ted talks and documentaries when you’re on break and wiLL get lost in wikipedia if you let her. Please don’t let her because she is very small and that website is very big. 

VENTI: 

#1 MENACE!!!

He's up about climbing the walls and flying all about the screen. 

If you are trying to get work done good luck 

If you ask he will sit down and be somewhat quiet 

If you listen to music while you work he will either be singing along to it or if the BPM is fast enough singing and dancing along with the music. 

He likes listening to the music you listen to because he can learn what to perform if you ever come to Teyvat.

He at first will be thrown off if you listen to something that's more on the sexual side ( im talking something like Ayesha Erotica, or cupcakKe) but eventually he gets used to it and has a lot of fun distracting you when those types of songs come on. 

Like Kaeya, he is also interested in the wine from your world. 

You have to tell him to narrow down the list he gives you of wines to bring to Teyvat… it was 2 pages long.

[decadeofjoy-au]

DOEY AND FROSTY SIDE STORY(With some Mommy and Stella lore!)

Title: Frigid Friendship?: Part 2: Frozen Findings

Also featuring Connie Stellation. Owner of her is anewbieartist356

Set during part 10 of the canon story.

Stella sat still on the ground staring at the binkie that laid in front of her. She had her hands up to the sides of her head and her brows were furrowed. She always wanted to be a kid again… but not like this. This is…awful. Constantly being babied, not taken seriously. She gets grounded! she’s a grown woman! Stella kicked the thing away, causing it to slide across the floor and land at a toy’s feet. Mommy Long Leg’s feet. Mommy looked down at the binkie before smiling and picking it up.

Mommy: “Aww, did you drop this Stella? It’s alright, Mommy can grab it for you!”

Stella gritted her teeth as Mommy picked up the binkie and gave it right back to her. She would normally resist, but after what happened last time she decided against it. She silently took the binkie back as Mommy picked her up, cradling her as she walked out of The Game Station and made her way to Playcare. It didn’t take too long with how quick Mommy could be when she wanted to get somewhere. When the two of them made it inside the giant dome, Mommy went over to Home Sweet Home, giving a quick wave to some nearby Orphans and Toys. She shot a quick glare to a couple of Experiments who were allowed to be around before walking into Home Sweet Home and entering one of the many rooms and setting Stella down to sleep. Mommy then walked out of the room. Stella always found it strange…Mommy hated the other experiments with a burning passion but would treat her like a newborn baby. Was it because she looked like one?…she doesn’t know anymore.

Stella could hear her talking to someone. An Experiment..? No. Toy…, she was talking to had a rather deep voice…but it wasn’t Doey..Was that Frosty? After a few seconds of the two talking, a toy stepped into the room. Yup, it’s Frosty. Frosty grabbed onto some stuff…just some pillows and blankets. He then grabbed Stella who shivered at his cold touch and immediately started to resist.

Stella: “Hey! Watch it..! You’re cold!”

Frosty suddenly froze at the word. “Cold”. That’s something Doey always commented on whenever he got too close to him. It was weird…Kevin always complained about him being cold before they were…you know…but he never seriously complained about it. Now whenever Frosty gets too close to Doey it’s almost like his presence hurts the dough doll. He took a quick glance at her before walking over to the bed and quickly making it up. When he finished, he took Stella and placed her under the sheets. Stella felt absolutely humiliated. She’s like…what? 30? 40? Why is this toy who’s at least 10 years younger than her tucking her to sleep like a baby!? She should really think about what she wishes for from now on…at least she has it better than the other experiments.

Frosty: “Sorry…! I’m just doing what I’m told.”

Stella: “well maybe wear gloves? You could freeze somebody with a touch like that.”

Frosty suddenly perked up, considering the idea. I mean…Doey never liked being around him because he was cold…right..? He didn’t even give Stella a goodbye before he bolted out of the room and made his way over to Hoppy who had just finished delivering some stuff to Connie.

Frosty: “Hoppy! Do you- do you know where all our documents are?”

Hoppy: “Uhh, Yup. What do you need?”

Frosty: “Can I…have Doey’s experiment file..?”

Hoppy narrowed her eyes. The hell..? Hoppy seemed confused and even a little concerned as to why Frosty wanted Doey’s experiment file of all toys but didn’t complain. She slowly nodded then began making her way out of Home Sweet Home and further down the floors of the building with Frosty following alongside her. Once the two made it, Frosty gave Hoppy a farewell then rummaged through the drawers. He eventually finally found what he was looking for and eagerly pulled it out of the drawer. Frosty looked rapidly through the documents and papers, trying to find something, however, before he could finish…he saw it.

Experiment 1322…🟡A, 🔻B, and 🟧C. What?

His brows furrowed as he slowly pulled out that one paper and slowly read through it. 🟧Matthew Hallard🟧…🟡Jack Ayers🟡..? What..? He slowly read through the file. The more he read, the more he understood and the more he…honestly hated it.

Frosty: “I’ve…been talking to 🔻🟧🟡three people🟡🟧🔻…this whole time..?”

After reading the file, he slowly put it back into its folder and back into the drawer before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. It explains everything. How Doey acts, what he does…everything! No wonder he’s so distant…2/3rds of him…don’t even know him! Frosty put a hand to his head as he slowly made his way up the stairs, hanging onto the railing. He knew who 🟧Matthew🟧 is but never really spoke to him before…but 🟡Jack🟡…he’s never met him during his time at Playcare. He almost wanted to avoid Doey altogether. Forget the guy-…guys Existed. But he couldn’t help but want to talk to him more…get to know the other parts of him. Even if just by a little. If it means getting to have his best friend, 🔻Kevin🔻 back then it’s a risk he’s willing to take…after all, there was something he’d ALWAYS say to 🔻Kevin🔻 after he had one of his outbursts or moments. “It’s okay, you’re my best friend anyway!”

Well…guess he should change that term to “best friends” considering 🔻Kevin🔻 isn’t just 🔻Kevin🔻 anymore.

His thoughts were cut off short as he saw a figure in the distance…tall, looks huggable, with a bowler hat..? Wait…Doey! Frosty immediately ran up to the dough doll, causing the other to immediately jerk away from him in an attempt not to make physical contact with him. Though…he almost looked as if he were in pain when Frosty got right in front of him…Frosty had to ignore that for a second though.

Frosty: “Doey! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! I…look. I know we haven’t been on the best terms lately but…hear me out! I was just-“

Doey: “🟧Er…Sorry. Can’t talk.🟧”

Frosty: “B- Wh- hold on, just wait! It’ll be quick-“

Doey: “🔻I just said, I can’t TALK!🔻”

Frosty stared at Doey while the other slowly calmed himself down and fixed his hat

Doey: “🟧look, I can’t. Talk.🟧 - 🔻actually…I don’t want to talk.🔻 - 🟧I’m very busy right now..🟧 - 🟡And I’d like to get back to work..!🟡”

Frosty could hear his tone…no…his voice..? shifting and changing as he spoke. As if there was more than one person talking. It was almost difficult to make out who was speaking…it went from serious to angry to stressed and it was so confusing to hear and it just reminded him of how much he was drifting away from his best friend. Doey was about to continue talking before he suddenly felt a gust of cold air hit him. He let out a startled and surprised scream and immediately took a few quick steps away from Frosty. His brows slowly furrowed angrily as he then spoke up again.

Doey: “🟧Look…it’s not that I don’t trust you…🟧 - 🟡because if I didn’t then that would REALLY make me a BAD example…🟡 - 🟧and I’m not trying to be-Mean but I CANT TALK.🔻”

Doey immediately ran past Frosty, not wanting the cold ice to touch him. It hurt, too much. The cold hurt too much and Frosty…was JUST that. Too cold. Too much. He can’t be around him anymore. Frosty stood there in silence as Doey quickly ran off, not even noticing Dogday peek around a corner to see where the Doughman had ran off to.

——————Extra scene for funnies

The yeti slammed the cup down on the table then gestured for Picky to pour him another…..apple juice. Picky slowly poured him another. She was quiet as she stared at the seemingly depressed Yeti toy before cautiously speaking up.

Picky: “You know…maybe-“

Frosty: “HE LEFT MEEE!!!” *Sob Sob*

[hunnismokah]

hi here’s a soft zoro thought that has been occupying my mind for a WHILE.

you and the strawhats on a mission attending a ball. you need to get very important documents from the man hosting it, and its your mission to seduce him to make him take you to his study to show you the location of the papers.

robin playing in the orchestra keeping an eye out, luffy and usopp as service staff, nami as a maid, sanji in the kitchen.

you’re disguised as a bachelorette attending the ball, along with zoro, who was put there to protect you.

he looks so different.. he showered and cleaned up so nicely.. hair pushed back with strands framing his face so beautifully. high waisted suit trousers, accompanied by a loose blouse tucked into it with the buttons half buttoned because he claims he “couldn’t breathe properly”. clean and shiny earrings sparkling and reflecting on his face that’s decorated so prettily by his scar. and is that… cologne you can smell on him?

“.. robin helped me pick it out..” he mumbles when he noticed you sniffing. you nod. you both standing right outside the mansion ready to go in.

you find the man you need to get close to, and start talking to him. zoro scoffs, it’s rather strange seeing you like this.. hair done and laid so beautiful, showing your back like this.. in that dress.. and fanning yourself so modestly with that hand fan. this poor guy is really falling for it. who can blame him? that corset really does a number on you, and your tits spilling out like that.. jesus.

but the man gets rather weird, touching you where you’re uncomfortable being touched. not enough for you to say something, but enough for you to understand his intentions. just when you clear your throat to say something you hear a voice interrupt you two.

“may i steal this lady for a dance?”

you blink, completely in awe of how well zoro adjusts himself in this role. is he really bowing in front of you? his eye so.. soft, eyebrows raised as if your answer is not crystal clear. his hand extended for you to put yours in, and you eagerly oblige, bowing slightly to the man and saying goodbye as zoro leads you to the dance floor.

“zoro… us and dancing? we’re gonna blow our cov-“”brook showed me a thing or two… don’t worry”

you sigh, your chest rising with your breath as you try to get some air despite the chest prison sitting so snug on your body. if you wouldn’t have closed your eyes you would see zoro glancing down just to immediately revert his gaze.

“you know.. you didn’t have to come to my rescue, i was fine on my own” you whisper as he rest his hand on your back, a bit shaky and unsure still.

“i’m here to keep you safe, just following orders..” he mumbles.

“well i was getting ready to stomp my heel into his foot if he tried something..”

zoro chuckles, looking back at the man who’s so obviously jealous. he’s glaring holes into zoro’s face, but that doesn’t stop the swordsman from grinning ear to ear. the hand on your back pressing you harder against him as he kept eye contact with the man. he whispers in your ear.

“atta girl.”

[batfamily-brain-rot]

Ideas dc x arcane Viktor x Jason???

* Jason asking Viktor about his research only to get lore dumped on. Jason then trying to steer the conversation to how Viktor’s research can help Gotham

* Jason digging further into the Lazarus pit to see if it can help Viktor’s condition

* Jason and Viktor sneaking into the leagues hide out to dip Viktor in the toxic health jacuzzi

* Talia catching Jason fishing Viktor out with Viktor’s cane. Talia being so confused that she just allows it and moves on.

* Viktor still being disabled but not actively dying or deteriorating so rapidly

* Viktor and jason having weird in sync nightmares and thoughts (taking sharing a braincell to the extreme)

* Jason and Viktor talking tech and literature and making everyone feel stupid (except for Barbra who mainly gets it) (even Bruce gets a little lost with how quickly they bounce ideas off each other)

* Viktor becoming a vigilante with a mechanical suit that helps with his disabilities.

* Viktor becoming an inventor for Wayne Enterprise

* Tim having to make fake documentation for Viktor saying he’s an immigrant from Russia (if this au goes in the direction of him getting isekaied into Gotham)

* Viktor studying the all blades Jason has from his Lazarus pit dip (if I write this fanfic I’ll probably rework the all blades since they’re inconsistent and kinda lack luster considering the potential)

* Tragic doomed ship with both fluff and angst?

* Damian and Viktor coming to a strange friendship that includes a love for animals, chess and reading. Viktor builds him a toy boat like the one he had as a kid, Damian says he’s not a child but takes it anyways. (He can be found playing with it in the Wayne manor fountain)

* Viktor finding duke to be so similar to what he imagines a younger Jayce would be like that he grows fond of him and offers to help him with any projects he works on

* Viktor celebrating his isekai day with the batfam and finally feeling like he belongs

* Class, Alfred and Viktor silently watching the chaos unfold in the manor

* Viktor ending up accidentally napping in some of Tim’s favorite spots to pass out in

* Bruce buying Viktor a service dog

* Viktor and Jason having synched Lazarus visions/headaches

* Alfred and Viktor bonding over tea (I think Viktor grows found of it in his time in Gotham)

* Viktor and Bruce working on a way to get him home but slowly stopping the idea as he grows more fond and attached to life there.

* Bruce having squash the tabloids from saying he adopted another kid (who’s a full grown man)

* Jason spotted out in public linking arms with Viktor (dating rumors start) they were linking arms cause Viktor’s cane broke. Jason goes on Twitter and tweets “fellas is it gay to help your homie walk until he gets a new cane from the store?” (Twitter goes wild)

* Jason having to explain to Viktor what a cellphone is (viktor then wondering how no one in his world thought of that yet)

* Steph and Tim making Viktor do a few tiktoks with them (this includes a series of Viktor being in awe of certain things like phones, the internet, video games) people on tiktok think he was a Russian time traveler or some crazy shit

* Barbra showing Viktor all of the disability friendly architecture Bruce had added throughout the city and manor

* Barbra and Viktor working on a high tech wheelchair that has a button that makes it go fast to escape danger

* Jason and Viktor tinkering and building interesting weapons to try out for patrol

* Viktor keeping Barbra company on his bad pain days

* Jason having to give Viktor a piggyback ride (… I have no idea why but this idea brings serotonin)

* Jason and Viktor passing out on the couch in the manors study after patrol

* Alfred and Jason bring Viktor snacks and food when he’s too focused on a project

* Viktor and Bruce clashing on whether the police should have access to inventions Viktor has made for Wayne enterprises

* Viktor finally getting recognition for his work when he makes a water purifier that can fully clean and filter out all Gotham toxins from the water system at a moments notice. (Viktor not really wanting to talk to the press so Jason just glares at them till they go away)

* Dick being wary of how close Jason and Viktor got so quickly but being happy Jason has another friend

* Dick finding Viktor with a bloody nose hunched over a sink, when dick asks if he’s alright he motions for him to go saying that he needs to find Jason cause the pit is messing with their minds. (Dick rushing to find Jason only to run face first into him when Jason’s looking for Viktor)

* Viktor’s service dog being named Hex and having a blue harness

* Hex being a good girl but being notorious for stealing microphones and equipment from the press

* Viktor getting injured on patrol and Jason becoming extremely over protective and overbearing

I wrote way too many ideas but it’s 1 am I have work in the morning and I couldn’t sleep because I’m in severe pain so enjoy the spoils of my suffering I guess!

I think I might write something with this au/weird pairing if people are interested. Also if you have ideas or suggestions for this let me know!

[ganondoodle]

you know what i just saw some more of that weird ass reward for getting all shrines in totk, and tbh im still so

what is that?? there are no dog like sentient species in this version of hyrule?? the most is the sonau themselves but they got no tails??? i dont think anything in this hyrule has a tail like that? and sonau legs are pretty normalish human too areant they? they dont even have proper claws, just veguely longer fingernails- i guess there are the statues in the underground that kinda look like it (they dont got tails either tho do they??) but like ,,, theres nothing you can learn about them right? its never mentioned or even hinted at despite there being so goddamm much of the sonau still just up and functioning- their lil "material deposits" in the depths arent even withered beyond some plants growing on them, all their 'tech' (isnt it just .. magic tho? where the mechanism actually? its usually just some stone animated by green swirlies ... but ill mention that in another post) just runs perfectly like it was made yesterday

where does that thing come from?? and its supposed to the the HERO FROM THE TAPESTRY???? huh????? and its decked out in sonau clothing head to toe with clear gerudo refs too?? that so weird bc youd feel like there would have been some mention of this, especially considering that that thing is on the tapestry and impa(was it her? or purah?) RECOGNIZES ITS THE HERO FROM THE TAPESTRY???? like, CASUALLY even?? like a well known fact ?? did i miss some big lore part somewhere that talked about that dog gerudo sonau thing?? and if its on the tapestry that means it wasnt that long ago really (i mean ... all the sonau shit is still pretty much fully intact so arguing that they came and went in the time between totks past and botws past isnt that plausible either imo ..??) o how come you never see anything from that and yet its somehow completely known for them, and you cannot tell me she saw the abstract version of the hero and then looked at that armor and went thats the same bc two colors veguely matched or what?!! also given that its fully clothed in sonau stuff .. like the arms are literally raurus bracelets .. thingies, but then the sonau where supposedly a complete and unknown mystery until it suddendly came all raining from the sky and revealing its been there and EVERYWHERE the whole time apparently? with the most we knew was some flimsyly made stereotypical barbaric armor set in faron in botw? which i guess is also fully undone by totk since it shares absolutely zero in desing to the 'actual' sonau stuff we got in totk

and if it where some sort of descendant from the mix of kids rauru and sonai kinda .. must have had (unless they did away with zeldas bloodline stuff too .. which .. why even call it zelda anymore at this point lol) then again, where did those features come from (like the tail and red hair, the strange googly eyes? is there a mix of goron in there too??) and how was it then not documented or seen anywhere else?? youd imagine the mutant kids of the first tragically dead king and queen of this hyrule would be known in some way .. that is assuming it was that, but given the weird features no other species has still is ... it just doesnt add up

(i had the awful thoguht for a second that it might supposed to mean the gerudo came from that but .. the gerudo are already there LITERALLY the 1:1 same as in the present, just like all the other species ... which is also disappointing as hell, like seriously? not even different feather colors for the rito? literally the same clothing for the gerudo as in botw but white with golden stuff instead?? some vaguely different zora features? idk ? anything? also the hero would never be gerudo, we know only evil comes from that *explodes*)

if its supposed to be a mystery then they absolutely failed in making it any interesting or intriguing but still something that feels like its part of the world, like botw was very good at giving you mysteries you wanted to talk and theorize about that still felt organic, harmonic with the world, but in totk its all either boring answers or just ... completely out of nowhere and just kinda stumps you (in a bad way)

*sighs* yet antoher ramble rant, this game could have had it all, it was right there on the plate in front of them all they needed to do is grasp at it, why wouldnt you ..

totk will never not frustrate me huh ���_ಠ

[misskattylashes]

Hi guys

Okay, here goes. I am posting this without tags so very few people will see it because I think it the general public saw it, they would call for the men in white coats. But it has been plauging me since that weird post on Monday and I need to get this off my chest.

It's going to be a long post so you might want to grab and cup of tea/coffee and a snack.

But I will begin...

I think Louise and Alex's relationship is an elaborate fuck you!

Okay, to summarise. I think you all know my stance by now. Alex has been publicly closeted since 2007 when AM had their sights set on America and management knew that a lead singer who was in a cute little bromance with his best friend was not going to appeal to the general US market (especially since by then Alex had started to blossom and it was obvious teen girls were going to love him), so we get Alexa... whilst with Alexa we get Humbug, an album full of songs about secrets, double lives and wanting to be with someone else. Of course no one listens to Alex's lyrics. They just see him with the pretty girlfriend.

Next comes Arielle, and for this I will blame Alex. The late SIAS/AM persona was pretty straight acting, and he sold the image well.

Then comes Taylor. They clearly get on very well, but also...well I don't have to go into much detail about EYCTE, you've all seen it.

So it ends with Taylor and we get the shit show we have today. so I thought I would list all the things that make this 'relationship' different to the others

1. Lack of engagement by Alex. With the other girlfriends Alex spent private as well as staged time with them. for AAT (Alexa Arielle and Taylor) we have countless private photos and social media posts that show he did 'fun' things with them (quite often with Miles too). With L there are a couple of 'private' photos from very early on in their relationship, and these are with her friends. Other than that there is no evidence at all that they have spent any time together, other than for public events. This points to him being friends with AAT and not minding hanging out with them. But L being little more than a business arrangement.

2. AAT have all been seen out socially with Alex's parents and his friends. We have nothing of her out socially with his friends or family, apart from Matt and Amanda - and Alex isn't in these photos.

3. Miles. Miles was good friends with AAT and still interacts with them to this day. There has never been any interaction between Miles and L apart from a couple of sarcastic comments by him on IG

4. Music videos. AAT all feature in Alex's music videos, clearly. In the MV for Mirrorball (directed by Alex) we have L's feet and back (making it look like he can't be bothered with her).

So, what makes me think it is a hoax and she is in on it. I am going to list the weird things that have happened, especially since Italy papgate...

a)Italy. How Backgrid works is they are basically the middle men between pap photographers, the celebrities and the press. It is arranged via the celebs for paparazzi photographers to capture them, the via Backgrid, the celebs sell the pictures they want published. So Alex/Louise/PR chose those awful, miserable pictures as a documentation of their relationship. Including Alex not even covering up the tattoo, making it look like he doesn't give a shit about her feelings.

b) 'I don't wanna be hers' at gigs where Louise is at and she has made clear on social media that she is at, which once again makes it look like he doesn't give a shit about her, which begs the question to those who think they're real 'why doesn't he just split with her?'

c)The 38th birthday post. The only photograph it looks like she can find is one that is 5 years old and is dubious in origin (she wasn't in Australia in 2019) - let's not forget Miles' River Mersey comment

d) Tyler's wedding. We get that strangely pointless 6th post. Unusually the first person to comment is Mia Latter saying she misses Lou (when have they ever hung out?) and Louise specifically saying she will be in LA in 10 days time, making it look like she is going to the wedding. When has she ever been so specific before?

Lo and behold the week before the wedding she goes overboard to prove she is in Paris. Then the day before the wedding she posts a story telling the couple she can't go because she is working (?) she could have just told them that in a phonecall. Even if she does have a job, like any person on this planet she had plenty of notice to take a week's leave to go to the wedding. But she wants us to know Alex isn't taking her to the wedding.

She then goes to LA alone and the only person we see her with is Justyna Hammond, despite on social media Amanda and Mia gushing on about how they miss herwhich makes it look like in reality they don't care about her that much

e)The 39th birthday post. You are dating a man who has a beautiful smile and yet you deliberately post a picture where he looks angry, that is two years old. It makes her look ridiculous.

f)The Nest Debacle this week. Louise's posts have to be approved by PR (please note they are always posted around 6pm GMT). Zackery Michael gave her those ridiculous photos. It is clear she is on holiday and not in the same room as him, so Zackery has photoshopped those pictures which makes him in on the debacle (I will maintain even the photo on the 6th post looked doctored). It looks like he is taking the piss out of her.

The text, it reads like something produced from an AI bot and makes no sense and she doesn't even bother to add quotation marks to the Sagan quote which makes it look copied and pasted with little effort.

It is like Louise herself is going further and further to prove their relationship is fake which makes me wonder if it's a giant fuck you on Alex's part with L and the other close circle in on it.

From Alex's point of view he probably signed his life away when he was little more than a child, agreeing to take part in any contractual publicity on behalf of Domino/Wildlife. Fake relationships are included in this. He has spent most of this time shouting into the void - writing sad songs about hiding, being a liar, keeping secrets. He has openly showed his love for Miles ('you know who I love Paris?'), was all over Miles like a rash during EYCTE and yet it gets dismissed as 'just bros fooling around'

What if when it ended with Taylor, he was still contractually obliged to have a beard and they found Louise. She was suitable geographically because he was moving back to London to be near Miles and he needed a European beard.

When you think about it, Louise is a persona. Her friends and family call her Pauline. For all we know Pauline could be an okay person. Imagine you're a struggling singer/actress/model/whatever and you are offered Megabucks, a luxury apartment and travel all over the world to play the horrible girlfriend of a famous rockstar. You would probably accept it. Louise is a monster, no doubt about it. Look at her entrance onto the scene, openly flaunting her relationship with Alex behind Taylor's back (please note that in the real world she would have been silenced, Alex would have done a damage control pap shoot with Taylor to dispel the rumours, him and Taylor would have split and Louise would have been slowly introduced - celebrities always want to protect their reputation).

We have had her arguing and blocking teenagers online. the 'beautiful dick' comment and finally the biggest thing that makes her look like a monster....Miles

The lack of Milex content coincided with Louise. People think Alex doesn't see Miles because Louise doesn't like him (the same Louise Alex barely sees so what does it matter?). At La Cigale, why did she have to be so visible on the stage. Alex running off to her, making it look like she was causing him to abandon Miles for her. Another way of making her look like a monster.

Alex is a grown man, she can't stop him seeing anyone, let alone his best friend. And Miles is also a grown up, I am sure he could endure a night out with Alex and Louise and grin and bear it (how many men out there can't stand their best mate's partner but endures them to keep the peace?). But all in all it paints her as a total controlling monster.

Louise makes herself look like an idiot over and over again and PR do no damage control. Alex is rich and famous enough to, whilst not get out of contracts, but to negotiate, and maybe the negotiation was done that he had a beard but the relationship was so ridiculously staged, it served people right if they fell for it. Alex has tried to tell them over and over again that he was basically being held hostage by fame and noone listened, so why not have the most ridiculous relationship possible, with very little input on his part.

Thank you for reading. I told you the other theory was crazy. But I have needed to get this off my chest.

Extras.....

The Larry Sanders cap - the fictional show within a fictional show

Louise advertising the fact she was staying in a hotel during the London AM gigs when Alex lives 20 mins from the venue.

The couples Polaroid collage and Alex and Louise being left off.

The panties on the piano. What normal person does that.

We just fucked on the mirror - no normal person does that

The after show in NY at the same party, no picture of them together

Not going on the family trip with Louise's family and friends who are in couples

Louise's persona - it is only thanks to pages like I Will Shine Louder and She's All Vintage that we realise before meeting Alex she didn't have the Birkin image. Her past was pretty much erased.

She never posts friends or family (except Jonathan and the occasional thing of her sister). She went on that holiday with her family last year. Never posted once. But she was all over her sister's page.

Copying the clothes, IG posts of Alex's exes. Makes her look like a crazy stalker.

Actually wearing a sky blue Lacoste top (not Alex's) to advertise that she's going to Japan....why does she need to do this (7/3/23)

Alex has disengaged with all promotion for AM. There was very little promotion for The Car. A couple of radio shows, magazine interviews. As far as I am aware nothing at all in the US. Now he does nothing. All AM promotion is down to Matt.

[imhereforscm]

"Destroying itself"

Genre: fluff

Pairing: Scorpio × goddess!reader

Warnings: mentions of Scorpio's past. So MILD mention of death and blood. VERY MILD THOUGH!!

For the January prompts (the link takes you to the specific prompts and the blog itself. So credits to the writer of this blog post for the prompts and for inspiring me.)

A/N: In this fic, Reader is daughter of the king. A concept @mairablue inspired in me with her gorgeous Scorpio fic😭🌹🌹. I just love love love the thought of Scorpio being in love with a Reader of much higher rank than him and being embarrassed and flustered and just... FLUSTERED!!!! UUURGHHH. Also, this fic takes place a little after Scorpio became a god, so that's why he cannot understand basic feelings in him or other people; like attraction or friendliness. ALSO, Zyglavis is Vice-Minister in this fic and Scorpio is just a random god working in the Department of Punishments (because obviously, Scorpio didn't become Vice-Minister immediately!) And yeah...... I would love to make this into a series, if I see that you guys enjoy it too!!🌹🌹🌹🌹

Prompt: The new guy (Day 16 January 2025)

--------------------------------------------

(Scorpio's pov)

Stepping in when I did was an accident. But if I could turn back time, I am not sure if I would've refrained from turning the doorknob.

The sun was blinding, spilling into the room of the palace like arrows, piercing my eyes and... My heart... Did they hit my heart too?

Because, as I gazed before me, I felt it squeeze and shift ever so slightly, a new feeling, which I was not sure why I was experiencing.

Maybe something was wrong. Maybe my body really couldn't handle godhood after all and was now destroying itself slowly.

Whispers...

The handmaidens flocking around the princess whispered and fussed underneath their breaths.

"The new guy—"

"—used to be human."

"No way!"

"—remember him."

"What is he doing here, in the princess's—"

They didn't stop whispering, but to me, it's as if they did. Because I could no longer hear them through the blood rushing through my ears, faster than my racing heart, as princess (name), daughter of the king of the Heavens stood up from the chair by her boudoir.

She looked... Not horrible.

Her hair were braiding into an intricate pattern befitting of a princess like her, every strand adorned with golden jewellery and hairpins and tiny diamonds resembling stars.

Her light tunic swayed, as she took a step away from her handmaidens, so they wouldn't be able to hear us and approached my spot at the doorway, where I stood completely still, like an iced blade plunged into the soil and left there for centuries, as if cursed.

"Can I help you?" She spoke and her voice was weird. It wasn't hideous. And it didn't anger me. It was... Unsettlingly strange. I wanted to say I didn't like the way it made me feel—so uncertain and confused—but it was as if something inside me stopped me from saying such a thing.

My shoulders turned stiff, as our eyes met and my gloved thumbs dug into the documents I held so tightly, they wrinkled.

She noticed and I hurried to adjust my hold on them. What would Vice-Minister, Zyglavis, say? He wouldn't be proud that I was ruining important document.

I breathed in deeply. "I've come to deliver confidential documents to his majesty." I said, my voice cold, like it always is and I could see the women in the corner begin to whisper again, from the corner of my eye.

"I see." I smiled and I felt dizzy.

How awful. How... How... I don't know.

"I'm afraid you've got the wrong door." She said, with a voice so gentle and kind, I suspected she was good at mocking me without me noticing. "My father's throne room is three doors farther down this hall."

I looked around, taking in my surroundings, a habit I picked up during my time trapped in that horrid life of bloodshed I led back on Earth.

‘Take in your surroundings. Size. Exits. Objects. Memories the space... You should have less chances of dying.’

A lecture we all received during training as young children, who didn't even possess the ability to read or write—although we should've given our age at the time—the circumstances forcing us to memories shapes.

Straight lines. Slopes. Circles. Corners. Codes purely for survival purposes.

So that's what I'm doing now, taking in the elegant and glamorous decor of the room. A plush carpet with golden accents. A huge and broad canopy bed—also with gold. Floor-to-ceiling windows. A chandelier. A boudoir.

"This is my room." She said, interrupting my thinking.

"Your... Room..." I repeated. I swallowed down a lump I don't remember being in my throat mere minutes ago.

She chuckled and my eyebrows furrowed, my throat closing in. "Yes. But it's okay." She said, waving a delicate hand. A hand too soft and breakable and so...

I inspected her hand and the rings decorating some of her fingers. And yet I still couldn't name this horrible feeling gripping my lungs and choking me slowly and cruelly.

"Your name is Scorpio." She said. "Correct?"

I nodded with a curt grunt, my eyes narrowed suspiciously on her.

She just kept... Smiling. "I'm (name)." She introduced herself, as if I didn't know the daughter of the king, her highness. "It was nice meeting you."

"Yeah. Whatever." I looked away and hurried out of her room as quickly as my legs would take me.

My heart was pounding loudly and I groaned to myself.

Why? I haven't been running at all.

[keelywolfe]

I have to ask: what is your writing/editing process like? You have absolutely spoiled me rotten with the frequency of your updates. Just about every 2-4 days, I get that ping on my inbox from you. That sort of frequency would lead me to suspect short chaps or maybe disjointed and riddled with errors but you are posting QUALITY, LENGTHY installments consistently, and I'm just in awe. Do you just word vomit onto an empty page in one sitting? Do you break it up? Do you edit as you go or at the end, all together? Just anything about your process, if you don't mind sharing, would be great to hear!

Oh, huh, no one has ever asked me that before. This is about how it goes:

First, I use a note-taking software to organize all my ideas and plot threads. I use MS OneNote because I already use it for work so I'm used to it, and I can have it synced between my phone and my laptop (I write on both), but I highly recommend using something like it. I say this not because I am an organized person, but because I am very disorganized and things will quickly descend into chaos without something to maintain order. I have about 50 tabs right now for 'Lucifer' and they contain everything from a single cool line that hit me at 3am (write it DOWN, you will not remember it in the morning, that's the devil talking) to complete outlines of upcoming stories. When I’m finished with a tab I dump it into another folder because I am allergic to deleting anything.

It looks like this:

When I go to use whatever is in a tab, I copy and paste it into a document, and then I write what I guess is the first draft. Just go at it like a monkey on crack trying to get everything that needs to be in the chapter on paper. It doesn’t need to be perfect, I'm just trying to get the shape of it down, with the occasional runaway tangent. 

After the basic bones of the story are down, next is the second draft or as I mentally call it ‘jazzing it up.’ That's when I go back and fix things like the ten paragraphs of dialogue with no indication of who is speaking. Depending on how it's going, I might go through the jazz routine once or several times. I was struggling with the last chapter, it took a few attempts before I finally deleted a segment and then it clicked and I was able to get it where I wanted it to go.

Once I'm happy with the story, I use the Read function in my writing program to read the entire thing to me. It's seriously the best way to catch mistakes or odd phrasing, eyes miss things after reading it so many times, ears are a fresh sense and they catch the missing words and strange turns.

That's about it. I sound weird when it's all down like this. 😂

[queensqueercourt]

"We found this reel near the mercenary's break room. mind going through it before going through the archives?"

Intern propoganda post for @tf2shipswag's oc tournament! Intern voiced by me, interviewer voiced by @beepiesheepie, and Alwyne voiced by @gordonfreemanreal.

Transcript under the cut!

IV=INTERVIEWER IN=INTERN AW= ALWYNE

The interviewer Rustles the mic and tape recorder a bit, setting it up

IV: test test one one, ok all set up! would you mind testing your mic kid?

IN: oh uh, hello? Hi?

IV: … right, all clear on my end! This thing is a real son of a bitch to set up- oh- I'm sorry, you're just a kid I apologize-

IN: oh no no it's alright! I'm 16, you won't tarnish my mind with some swear words.

IV: Well if it's alright with you… Let's start the recording then! Let's give a bit of a pause before we start since I'm gonna cut this part out.

In: ok, just, y'know give me the word…

A moment of silence

Iv: Timestamp: August 5th, 1971, today I will be interviewing Mann Co intern, [harsh bleep] Fleming. I'm here to ask some questions about your current employment.

In: Fire away.

IV: Excellent. Now, first of all, tell me about your day to day workload, what you do every single day to keep this place running.

IN: Well… it's definitely not easy. I do a lot of organizing.

IV: Of what kind?

IN: Oh, you know, files.

IV: … Mx Fleming, could you go into further detail about this organizing that you do?

IN: Sure! I keep files in place, and, I make sure they're how Pauling likes them. I organize by date, importance, ownership, type, secrecy, and-

IV: Ownership?

IN: Yeah! Ownership! Like, uh. Who owned them before they came to me, what station they were in before, like-

IV: Station?

IN: Yeah! Like police station. The guys- mercs- do crimes a lot, and I do whatever Pauling can't, like sneaking into police stations to steal reports, or hide bodies before said police show up! Pauling is really thankful for it, when I'm in the station she's hours away at a different one, forging documents! She told me she'd teach me how to do it, but both of us have been busy.

IV: With, what?

IN: Work! What else do you think? I get the mercs coffee, even though Engie was supposed to fix the coffee maker months ago, and I run around with Bidwell to make sure every endangered animal made it to mercenary park, and I count every single kill on every strange weapon to make sure its at the right rank! Do you know how many people the mercs have to kill to get a weapon to the 'Hale's Own' rank? Eight, freaking, thousand. You know the Australium weapons too? The ones the mercs get after slaughtering down the robots trying to take over Mann Co? I'm the one that puts everything in those crates, every robot part, every fabricator and kit. I'm pretty sure those fabricators are in there to give the mercs enrichment, like they're zoo animals. That's kind of how Mr. Hale treats them anyway.

IV: I see… could you elaborate on what you do with Mr. Bidwell and Ms. Pauling?

IN: Sure. With Pauling I just do what she doesn't have time for. The Administrator puts a LOT on her plate, like a lot. Usually I do embezzling, body disposal, hiding the base from any goon that drives in the badlands, serving out contracts, getting takeout- I'm like a… mini Pauling! With Bidwell I write transcripts, approve or deny anything the mercs request, or kill company rivals-

IV: Kill company rivals?

IN: Yeah! There's a weird amount of munitions dealers and bootlegs of Mann Co out there!

IV lets out a small laugh: id imagine!

IN also lets out a small laugh as the room goes quiet as the IV is writing things down on the piece of paper for a few seconds

IN:so,,,what company do you work for?

IV: hm?

IN: the company. That you're representing. I've put together you don't know much about how Mann co works and its operation, and you're not very keen on the mercenaries as well. You've only interviewed me about this. Am i correct?

IV:,, and i thought i was the one interviewing you!-

IN: answer the question.

IV:,,,I dont see why this would be important to your interview mx. fleming, why don't we get back to the questionnaire? Film is quite expensive and id hate-

IN: Speaking of which! It's so crazy how you know my full name!I havent heard it in ages it's almost alien to hear it coming out of a stranger's mouth, who doesn't work at Mann co or is affiliated with the mercenaries.

IV:Kid, its just a name, can we please go on with the interview!-

IN:no! We cant! Because you know the name of a person who’s never even heard their name sputtered out or even known by their own boss. So you explain where you got that file. And why all your questions have been so private business oriented anyways.

The IV pauses for a second, realizing they are in danger before stammering: I- Kid, listen, this isnt about you its not “personal” its about your coworkers too! I mean what kind of interviewer wouldnt see it from all sides, itd be quite inefficient if you ask me-

IN: wow.

Iv: ,hm?

IN: You told the truth. I thought youd never stop spouting bullshit out of your mouth.

IV: you shut your god damn mouth, this is my interveiw you-

IN: Actually i think you DID taint my mind a bit after cussing at the start of this interrogation, and not only that but youre putting the pieces of the puzzle right in front of yourself and solving them without even knowing it! This IS about efficiency! Im the easiest of all the workers close to the admin and saxton to talk to. Bidwell and miss pauling are off doing some crap out and about im just the guy to tell you what those two are up to!! You and your thinly veiled espionage as some kind of “quick questionnaire for the new interns”, its take a world-class idiot to not recognize the pattern you've laid out.

The IV sits for a minute, questioning what to say next

IV:,,, you think youre so fuckin clever kid-

IN: oh i know i am. If i wasnt you wouldnt have put a gun under the table. I think this is a win for me. But thats just my opinion. So please IN taps the mic: tell me yours.

A few moments of silence pass before a screech of a metal chair is heard and IV tries to pull out the gun from under the desk but is stopped by IN, shooting them 3 times.

As the silence fades soft and faint gurgling and pained sounds are heard before IV dies with an exhale IN moves and shuffles through the files, moving papers and notes IN muttering and murmuring before saying: damn they did their homework,, i didn't think that Charles Darling needed to know about my H&M clothing receipts..??

After those moments AW enters the room looking around before saying: Christ Intern, got that fed up with their questions already? …I’m a little impressed, honestly. Thought you’d kill ‘em sooner. AW mutters to himself: Damn, I owe Brodie 20 bucks now..

IN Barks out a laugh: HA! Sucker! Ah shitshitshit theyre bleeding all over the carpet!! Al, help me carry em out before it stains beyond repair.

AW: Hold on. That thing’s still on.

IN moves around, before playing with the setup: now THIS will be interesting to show the team. I think Rep knowns how to put this stuff on a vhs! Plus a fancy new recording setup!

AW: Wait- how long has that been on?

IN: i think for the entire conversation, why?

AW: I’d get rid of it, probably blackmail material if you ask me, reeaaal easy to use in court if we ever get caught.

IN: shit, right…. Hey Al, what does this red button d-

End of transcript

[broken-clover]

Could I request hc’s abt how the ersb gang falls in love? And how they act while pining over their eventual S/o? I miss them :v

Aw, certainly! I can never say no to these! Every time it pops up from the ether it puts a smile on my face

Elphelt

-Elphelt falls in love hard and fast, the actual difficult part is giving the whole thing more depth instead of it just being an idealized concept

-To try and clarify that idea, Elphelt goes in expecting a lot of things about what a relationship could be, y'know, classic scripted romcom trappings up to the nines. The first time something goes undeniably wrong, she'll have a moment of confused realization when the relationship doesn't immediately explode once she's strayed away from some imagined script

-Does not hesitate to make her feelings known, she's the sort to leave love notes in lockers and heap unsubtle praise on her object of affection

-Despite that, she still wonders whether or not she's being too subtle

-Frequent daydreamer, if you approach her in the midst of it she's probably doodling romantic scribbles all over what's nearest. Be careful not to leave any political documents nearby unless you want them plastered with 'Elphelt x s/o' and hearts with arrows all over it

Sin

-He doesn't have a lot of personal experiences with romance, so at first he gets a little confused and wonders why he wants someone to be best friends really, really badly

-He has that infamous 'oh' moment where it just slaps him across the face several weeks in.

-His parents aren't exactly great with advice given their own weird romantic history, but they're at least good at emphasizing the idea of loving deeply even if the circumstances are strange.

-Any attempted confessions ends up taking a long tangent about chairs

-Has no idea how pining works, if anything he'll just end up shouting it and/or dumping everything out to the first person who asks why he's being so absentminded today

Ramlethal

-Ram is the sort of person who believes that a partner isn't too different from a very very good friend. As such, she'll want to make sure she considers someone a friend before she can fathom the thought of being her partner

-Sometimes she gets a little ahead of herself, she can have a hard time knowing what to do in a 'normal' relationship and isn't fully certain whether or not it's appropriate or crossing a boundary . She's trying, but there isn't exactly a manual available

-She knows people like dogs, though, so Ketchup is a good secret weapon. Even if it's painfully obvious she set him out and guided him over in order to have an excuse to start a conversation.

-Ram has an impeccable poker face, but conversely to her sister, she thinks she's being too obvious and is genuinely surprised when someone says otherwise.

Bedman

-He is too intelligent and rational for such sappy displays. He has some level of dignity

-No, that little tchotchke on his shelf isn't the same one that you offered and he reluctantly took, Sin. What are you asking for. Are you a cop.

-He gets very, very mad about having a crush and it's kind of adorable. The thoughts do go away as soon as he wants them to and he scrunches up his face like a grumpy dog

-Unsubtle. Painfully, painfully unsubtle. He does everything shy of walking up to them and shouting 'I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU AND YOU CAN'T PROVE I AM'

[weirdstrangeandawful]

Oh no decisions...

I obviously don't have to decide right now but I've been given three main options for my wheelchair: Motion Composites Apex C, TiLite CR1, and TiLite TR.

Although the CR1 fits my needs a little better, its base price is already like $10000 so hard nope on that one given my insurance maximum is $5000 and I need power assist which insurance won't cover at all. My friend just got their wheelchair (we started the process at the same time but my process got fucked in so many ways) and it ended up costing around $9000 and we know mine, without power assist, is going to cost substantially more just because of my physical needs.

Going to bombard the demo guy with a million and one questions about the differences between the TR and Apex C.

[ethicstownprod]

I promised L (Alice) a ‘Who’s having the worst time post s1?’ poll pre s2 so (shilling below):

Spoilers below, naturally!

Artemis: Went missing in a strange new place for months. Just found out that not only is her mum dead, she was killed by the only person Artemis thought she could trust. That man then went on to try and kill her, but instead she ended up watching him kill his daughter then beg her to do something about it. Now she is almost 16 years old with absolutely no one in her corner.

Ian: Suffering severely from a very well-documented, easily-treatable mental health issue due to medical malpractice. Although he’s correct about a lot of things, everyone treats him like he’s experiencing an episode of psychosis (and not the way you should treat someone experiencing delusions, either). Killed his own daughter in a fit of hysteria, but even that wasn’t enough for the townsfolk to believe he’s a danger to himself and others. Now in prison of his own volition.

Alice: Her husband uprooted their family from a seemingly idyllic life. After a rocky adjustment period her daughter then got seriously ill. She spent a long time caring for her and just as she was getting better, Alice’s long term project (literally) went off the rails, pushing Alice into committing manslaughter. Just as she was coming to terms with this awful deed, her husband had a complete breakdown, killed their child, then removed himself from her life without even a word.

Elaine: Their family moved them to a weird British town, settled and began to build a new life there, then decided to move and leave Elaine behind.

Noah: Has a doctorate but is forced to work somewhere that goes against all of their morals. Struggles to make friends at the best of times, but is now at an age where all their friends are getting married and settling down and they feel so, so lonely all the time. Did something well-intentioned that had horrific consequences a few years ago and it haunts them. Really, really far from home.

Dr Clayton: Has a sweet little life, tbh. Though everyone keeps calling him ‘Dr’ when it’s ‘Mr’.

Addi: Didn’t put herself forward for a position she probably should have because she felt under-qualified and is now furious about it. Has basically been running the local government with no credit for the past several months. Now that Ian is gone she can’t pass any measures or make any changes, but is still expected to take care of the town. Feels like she’s losing her mind.

Alex: Currently seems like he has a sweet little life, but he does not.

Rory: Clearly their life is falling apart, but they’re clinging on. Equally, their job was destabilised when Ian up and left, but we get the impression they were in a tough spot even before that.

Grace: She’s straight-up dead.

[chibishortdeath]

This Bloodlines timeline document has some names of characters that are never actually ever seen in a game, so I decided to give some designs and ideas to them :3. I know that it’s mostly defunct material (even for Bloodlines itself considering it still has Bolt Ericsson, who was scrapped from the final release on it), but I’m just gonna take bits of it that I like anyway lol.

So this is my take on Cyncia, Christopher’s wife. Maybe when Christopher is off fighting Dracula, she’s at home beating the hell out of bats and skeletons trying to get into the house hmmm. Or idk maybe she should get to come with the second time hmmmm >:). Anyway, the embroidery details on her clothes are all scribbley cause I couldn’t decide on patterns, but just imagine that it’s actually nice embroidery oof (TwT ). The first image is kinda like a talking sprite pose now that I’m looking at it. Sadly there’s not too much to say about her because she uh kinda only exists in development limbo so uh yeah :’(.

There’s also the other two kids! It’s such a cool concept of a Belmont having siblings, I wish they address that concept more often :O. In my interpretation I have Gerhart as the oldest, Soleil in the middle, and Amanda as the youngest. The text says that Gerhart “strangely died” so I was thinking about the concept that he died at 15 not long after the Vampire Killer was passed down to him, making Soleil the next in line. I think that’d add a lot to how Soleil was possessed, he would be feeling awful about taking his brother’s place and possessions in other games tend to have the character have some kind of emotional weakness that was an opening for something to get to them, if that makes sense. But yeah, again, sadly not too much to say about the two themselves since they don’t appear anywhere.

If ever we get some really nice Christoper games remake (1. I am aware Rebirth exists 2. Konami will never cause they’re cowards), I really really wanna see these three end up in it. Cause as of now it’s just sad seeing them be names in an unused developer document when they have really good potential. It’d be cool to see that part of the series get fleshed out more in general because, as much as I LOVE the Christopher games, they are barely written ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡. Which is a shame because Christopher seemed to be planned to be something a lot bigger than that, ya know? There was a weird time he and Trevor were almost the same person in development, but the name Christopher is used as the name of the ancestor Simon looked up to and I feel like he and his story should’ve been way more important, ya know??? Like it does get used as foreshadowing for Richter and Maxim and other characters that get possessed later but mannnnnnnn. Justice for Christopher, and also justice for Cyncia too.

Asdfghjkll maybe make her playable in a Belmont’s Revenge remake that’d be so cool I wanna have my Murder Dad and Murder Mom tag team. Also that fits the themes of “he went at it alone and things went wrong but it went right the second time cause he wasn’t alone” and aaaaaaaaaaa do you see my vision

[ismelinor]

Who did it better? (1/2)

Read on AO3 | tagging @today-in-fic | word count: 2,035

Summary: When things aren’t adding up following the events of Dreamland, Mulder and Scully look for evidence of what happened. They find the CCTV footage of them leaving Kersh’s office… i.e. a contrived situation which allows Mulder and Scully to watch ‘Mulder’ slap Scully on the butt.

It started small, with two coins fused together and a general sense of wrongness. The term was vague and un-scientific, and she’d never hear the end of it if she said it to Mulder – but nevertheless, something was just off.

It was like…when you wake up from the deepest of deep sleeps (which was a distant dream to her – when was the last time she’d woken to anything other than an alarm, the phone ringing, or Mulder pounding at her door?) and it takes a few minutes to remember who and where you are. She’d felt like that walking away from the confrontation at Area 51: What was she doing there? Who was the man standing next to her? What day was it?

Only – the feeling hadn’t quite faded the way it usually did after a shower and a cup of coffee. No, everything still felt…out of focus.

And then there were the odd little knick-knacks that kept appearing. The fused dime and penny was weird enough, but then she found a handful of sunflower seeds in the pocket of her overcoat – and then a folded up paper doily, stamped Little A’le Inn, Rachel – and then, the kicker, a receipt for a pack of Morleys from a gas station in Nevada tucked into her drawer, when she knew she and Mulder hadn’t stopped on their way back. She called the bank to query the expense: they had no record of the payment. None of it made any sense.

~~~

It would have taken Scully a long time to admit out loud that a few sunflower seeds and errant receipts here and there were making her question reality. Fortunately, Mulder had no such qualms. He pulled her aside after lunch one day, and launched right into it: “Scully, I think we’ve experienced some sort of time jump.”

Scully just blinked at him.

“It’s not unheard of, you know. There’s several well-documented cases in the files: individuals who unaccountably knew what was going to happen, or claimed to have brought items from the past or the future.” Off the look she was giving him, he added, “Need I remind you that you’re the one with a thesis defending the possibility of time travel?”

He’d brought it up enough times that she had little hope of forgetting it. She sighed. “What makes you think we’ve travelled in time?”

“Ever since we got back from Area 51, I’ve been finding these…these relics of a week I know I didn’t live. My apartment’s all cleaned up – I’ve got a waterbed now – yesterday I found a pair of handcuffs on my pillow.” Scully raised an eyebrow. He leaned forward with a smirk. “Come on, Scully, I might forget a little spring cleaning, but you know I wouldn’t forget handcuffs.”

Scully tried to bite back her smile. “Those have all happened to you, Mulder, and frankly they sound like symptoms of early-onset dementia. You said we experienced a time jump. How am I involved?”

“Scully, I’ve seen you take those coins out of your drawer a hundred times today alone. Tell me you’re not finding things too.”

She wasn’t ready to concede yet, so she said, “These could all be accounted for by someone playing a strange prank on us. Why are you so ready to believe it’s time travel?”

“When I focus on these objects, I start to remember the other timeline. It’s fuzzy, but it’s there: I remember going inside Area 51, Scully. It was like I was living someone else’s life for a week. There were these bratty teenagers – I think I had a wife, even. It was awful. The problem is, I get this headache every time I try to remember.”

Scully sighed. “It’s the power of suggestion, Mulder. You already had this theory, and now your mind is filling in the gaps.”

Mulder grinned. “I have proof. Well, the lone gunmen have proof, but I’m going over this evening to check it out. They called me just now because their systems registered an anomaly: a blip in the CCTV recording of their office. When they looked over the footage from yesterday, they saw you and me talking to them for almost half an hour. Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m fairly sure I was eating pizza on my couch all yesterday evening.”

Scully raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Come on, Mulder. It’s far more likely that they mixed up the footage from yesterday with another day.”

“They’re not just pretty faces, Scully: they’re tech experts. Don’t you trust their abilities?”

“Trust them? Mulder, they’re the most paranoid, delusional people I’ve ever met. Byers I might listen to, but Langley and Frohike think they’re living out James Bond, when-”

“When they’re a little more Revenge of the Nerds?” Mulder finished.

Scully grimaced. He wasn’t wrong.

“What, you don’t like that one?”

“Mulder, I’m a woman with a PhD in physics. If I wanted to see angry, sexually aggressive nerds, I’d open my yearbook.”

Mulder laughed delightedly. “Alright, Scully, just pretend you agree with me for a minute. Focus on the coin and see if you remember anything.”

She huffed but closed her eyes. That coin was strange: like two objects trying to occupy the same space – a perversion of the most basic laws of physics. And, casting her mind back, it was like…like two memories were trying to occupy the same space in her hippocampus. “I remember…I think I remember a gas station…and sitting with you in Kersh’s office…you were acting strange…and, oh, I remember going over to your place…huh, I remember your bedroom, and the handcuffs-” She opened her eyes wide to take in Mulder’s expression, already shifting from surprise to a smirk. She blushed; damn her complexion, never hid anything. “Not like that. I handcuffed you to the bed-” Mulder raised an eyebrow and she reddened even more. “Not like that. You weren’t…you.”

None of it made sense. Her memory must be confused: yes, just like Mulder, she must be creating false memories out of the objects they’d found. Her head was pounding all of a sudden.

Mulder hummed. “Well, if video tape captures this…alternate version of events, why don’t we check out the CCTV here? You said we were in Kersh’s office: maybe we can catch us leaving.”

Scully was too curious to argue, so she followed him up to the security office. It didn’t take much to convince the guard on duty to look out the tapes for them – which was slightly concerning, actually. When he came back to the desk, he was frowning. “There’s two tapes of the sixth floor corridor from Tuesday. I don’t know how they got mixed up.”

Mulder shrugged, taking them both. Scully thanked the guard and followed Mulder to the lift.

“We can’t watch these in the bullpen, or we’ll get questions. My place or yours?”

“Yours. But we’re waiting till after work, Mulder. We’re on thin enough ice as it is: I’m not risking suspension over a weird coin and a pair of handcuffs.”

Mulder sighed like the petulant child he was but took his seat anyway. Back to piles of manure.

~~~

Sitting by his side on Mulder’s leather couch, Scully could almost pretend that they were normal people. When he held out the two tapes for her to choose between, she could imagine that he was letting her pick a movie: that he’d put the tape in, grab them beers from the fridge, and they’d lounge around and laugh at the bad special effects.

But no, of course not. They were examining unethically obtained CCTV footage to investigate whether there had been a rip in the space-time continuum. A much more sensible use of her Friday afternoon. She pointed to Mulder’s right hand and he put the tape in. The time stamp read 13:00, Tuesday. They watched as grainy FBI agents rushed up and down the hall, a few familiar faces here and there. Mulder picked up the remote and put the tape on 2x, then 5x speed. The agents zoomed every which way, but there was no sign of Mulder or Scully. The only people to walk in or out of Kersh’s office were his secretary and Kersh himself. Nada.

Mulder switched the tapes. 13:00, Tuesday, again. The same camera angle. It even looked to be the same agents bustling down the corridor – Scully spotted Stonecypher at 13:14, just like in the first tape. Huh. Someone must have copied the tape: it was strange, but not outside the realm of possibility. But then-

Scully stared at the screen incredulously: Mulder was right. There they were, walking out of Kersh’s office at 13:35, when Scully knew for a fact that they’d never been to that meeting. How the hell was that possible? They sat forward on the sofa simultaneously. On the screen, they stopped just outside the office. It was hard to read their expressions in the grainy image, but it looked like Scully was giving him a dressing down. Mulder walked back into the office and Scully threw up her hands in frustration, clearly watching him through the doorway. After a few moments, Mulder walked out again and – and –

Scully sputtered out “Did you just-” at the same time as Mulder’s “Did I just-”. She wheeled on him, flushed with disbelief and anger. “You just slapped me on my ass!”

Mulder put his hands up like she was pointing a gun at him – and there was an idea – and coughed up a rather pathetic barrage of “No – I didn’t”s and “I wouldn’t”s. And then – he started to laugh.

She gaped at him in outrage, a perfect match for her doppelganger on the screen. He attempted to rein in his laugher.

“No, no, I’m sorry. It’s not funny – it’s just – I mean, come on, Scully, there’s no way you can think that’s really me.”

Scully narrowed her eyes at him, but – well, he had a point. Mulder could be a flirt – he was incorrigible, really – but he’d never crossed the line. Even when it really, really seemed like he would. Given the two tapes with the same time stamp, the strange objects popping up and the confused state of their memories – yes, she was willing to concede that the Mulder on the tape might not be (for lack of a better word) her Mulder.

Still, she wasn’t letting him off the hook that easily. “What are the chances that two different people are somehow able to impersonate you perfectly? And what are the chances that they both use this fantastical power to hit on me?”

Mulder raised an eyebrow in an expression she assumed was meant to convey: oh, we’re talking about Eddie now, are we?

She raised an eyebrow right back at him: serves you right for laughing, asshole.

“Well, Scully, once you’ve eliminated the impossible, and all that.”

“I think we have different definitions of impossible, Mulder. I’d call two separate men with uncanny shapeshifting abilities pretty impossible.”

Mulder grinned and she nudged his shoulder to let him know she’d forgiven him. For now.

“I don’t think we’re gonna get any more from the CCTV, and thinking about it is hurting my head,” said Mulder. “I’m going over to Byers’ to check out their tape. You wanna join?”

If anyone had told Scully six years ago that she’d be happy – excited, even – to spend her Friday evenings drinking cheap beer and debating the likelihood of time travel with four conspiracy nuts, she’d have laughed in their face. Today, though, she just ducked her head and smiled.

“If we can pick up food on the way. I’m never eating Langley’s cooking again.”

Mulder handed over her coat. As they left his apartment, he turned to her and asked, “For future reference, who did it better, Eddie or Tape Guy?”

Sculled rolled her eyes. He had nerve, she’d give him that. “I’d prefer a bottle of wine to a slap on the ass, if that’s what you’re asking.” Mulder smirked. “But, for future reference, you do it better than either of them.”

That wiped the smirk off his face.

[thespiraleannals]

Name: Stanford Pines

Experience, if any: Many experiences I've been through are quite applicable to this. I've gained 12 PhDs over the years, ranging from biology, to physics, to mechanical engineering. I studied what I could, mostly things that my dimension deemed 'strange' and 'weird', before having the chance to observe the many differences in dimensions that I visited over a 30-year mission. I dedicated my life to the pursuit of such research, documenting what I could over time. While my dedications have been more to the pursuit of science and discovering the secrets of the past that way, I know my previous methodology will be useful in archival processes for the history here as well.

Desired position: Archive Specialist/Archive Technician

Why are you suited for the position?: I've worked in both cataloging everything into a series of literary journals once meant for publication as well as preserving research that detailed weirdness, magic, and more that occurred within my home dimension - and while I had no such luxury during my wormhole hopping days, I've still made it a mission to record what I could. However, I've always been an active part of acquiring such research. Being the one to be doing field research is just as important to me as being someone who helps preserve it into records.

An introduction: The name is Stanford Filbrick Pines. I've worked as a researcher for nearly forty years now, discovering new things and cataloging what I can. Though I'll be focused primarily on documentation and field research, I will be willing to answer questions to an extent.

❝ T- ...Twelve PhDs?! There's no such thing as 'overqualified' for the Annals, but... I- I'm in awe! Really! ❞ With a small laugh, Zhilan manages to pick his jaw up from the ground and smile much more normally. This is an application, thus professionalism should be maintained. ❝ To say we'd be glad to have your expertise around would be quite the understatement... Welcome aboard, Stanford! ❞ — Approved!