#wednesday being gay: she's beautiful when she's angry

[boojangs]

Wednesday: She is such a disastrous excuse for a werewolf, I cannot believe I am going to marry her.

Divina: I mean... you don't have to?

Wednesday, watching Enid throw a table because she lost at Uno: Oh no, I'm going to. Happily.

[idontplaytrack]

Hi! Can I request protective!lilette suarez x reader? Where someone asks reader out and Lilette sees it and decides to send a message to that person that reader is taken

Don’t Be Fooled

Lilette Suarez x fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, jealous & protective Lilette, smut ending(fingering, marking) & pet names(all reader receiving)

Lilette finally shows off the side of her that the school’s never seen when she sees a guy asking out reader

Lilette was shy, very quiet, usually kept to herself unless called upon by a teacher to answer questions. Her circle of friends was small, with Simon being her best friend. Well, you, being her girlfriend was no doubt a part of this ‘circle’.

Not once has anyone seen her get angry with the exception of you and Simon. And when she did, it was terrifying. Ever since then, Simon has been very mindful about everything, vowing never to get her angry again. What was the argument about? Simon had burnt their entire home ec project. Lilette had to take over, while she was worried about you on the phone, having an anxiety attack over something you’ve forgotten about. But anyway, you could hear how angry she was, and was shocked. She did apologise to you for her outburst, though. And Simon, too.

Monday: Getting snapped out of your thoughts thanks to a group of rowdy students walking by you, you blink profusely, finally getting the textbook you needed out of your locker and closed the door. Immediately, a guy showed up before your face. You exclaimed in shock, “Yes?”

“I’ve been watching you for awhile.”

“And?” You wanted to scoff.

“And, I was wondering if I could take you out? For a dinner? Or coffee sometime?”

You didn’t know this at that point but Lilette saw the most of it, she ran up to you and wrapped both arms around your torso firmly. “Hi, baby.” She smiled at you sweetly, connecting your lips together for a deep kiss. Unnecessarily deep, to you. But to her, it was absolutely what she needed to do to get the guy to go away.

“Come on.”

“What, Zane?” Lilette smirked, “This ring, she gave it to me last night for our first anniversary. You are way too late, bud.”

The guy’s brows were raised, at a loss for words. “Uh—” He gulps.

“Scram.” Lilette snarked, her hold on you tightens as she crashes her lips onto yours again.

~~~~~

Tuesday: Walking into homeroom and up to your usual desk, you spot a folded piece of paper on it. A note. Well…more like an invitation to a party at Zane’s. From Zane. Sighing, you pushed the paper away and had your eyes to the front of the room, watching the teacher enter the classroom.

“Tossed the invite in the trash the second I left homeroom.”

“What’s not to get about what I told him?” Lilette looked at you, perplexed.

“Some guys just…can’t get it into their heads.”

“He’d better, soon.” Lilette scoffs, “Ignore him.”

“I have been.” You answered.

~~~~~

Wednesday: He tries to smile at you, first thing in the morning, earning a glare from Lilette. He was so smug about it, simply shrugging it off then went about his day. Lunch time, he came up to you and Lilette in line, leaning close to your shoulders. “How you doing?”

“Great without you, thanks for asking.” You responded sarcastically. But boy did he love that feigned enthusiasm.

~~~~~

Thursday: Lilette sees him walk up to you immediately stopped talking to Simon. “Back off, dude. She isn’t interested.” Lilette deadpanned, staring him in the eye.

“Are you really gay or do you just want to show off your ‘girlfriend’?”

Her eyes closed, she takes a deep breath, “What? Can’t a girl do both? Look at her, she’s beautiful. But look at you, a pathetic idiot who can’t take no for an answer!” Lilette slams her locker door, but the commotion alone was attracting hell of a lot of attention. Students started chattering, the noise fills the space quickly. Lilette smirks, “Everyone’s watching you, Zane. Still not going to back down?”

He scoffed, “Try me. You’re just a broke girl still living with your mother.”

“How dare you?” You snarled.

“Oh, shit.” You heard someone remark.

“Say that again. Say it— say it to my face.” You looked up at him. “Can’t do it? Good. Keep doing that. Keep your bloody mouth shut. Never in a million years would I even consider going on one measly date with someone like you.”

“Fuck off. Don’t you ever think about her again. She’s mine.”

A bunch of ‘oohs’ resounded in the halls, hearing Zane get absolutely humiliated by a typically sweet Lilette. Phones were up and recording, so this moment? It’ll last forever without much effort.

~~~~~

Friday: Flowers showed up at your door. Lilette peeks over your shoulder before you stepped onto your porch and grab the bouquet. “Twelve?” Lilette snorted, “I did way better than that.”

You smirked, “Oh, absolutely.” You were about to toss it when you saw your neighbour exit her house to get rid of her trash. “Oh, Mrs. Geller! Some annoying guy at school sent me these, but I have no use for them. But I figured I might as well gift them to someone who’ll appreciate them.” You plucked the card off the center of the bunch and crushed it in your hand.

“Guys are adult babies.” The older woman guffaws, “Thank you, dear. These flowers do look lovely.”

“Tell me about it.” Lilette spoke through gritted teeth.

You flashed her a smile, “You’re welcome, Mrs. Geller. See you around.”

Lilette follows you into your house.

“Hey.” Lilette says as the front door shuts. “Yeah?” You ask. “You know what will really fuck him up?”

“What?” You replied while setting your backpack down.

“Going to his party is a great start.” Lilette began, “What do you say I do a little something to you where he can hear us?”

Your eyes bulged, “…what?”

“He doesn’t want to back down? I sure as hell am not giving up until he leaves you the fuck alone.”

~~~~~

Saturday: It was a little after midnight, you and Lilette have both gotten a little tipsy. But, it was just what you needed to carry out your plan. Stumbling into an empty room while making out, this move’s certainly caught Zane’s attention. In fact, Lilette sees him following behind the two of you. “Okay, you ready?” Lilette asks, breaking away from the kiss.

“Let’s do it.” You shrug, kissing her again unendingly.

“I’m gonna be a little…rough, okay? Just to speed things up a bit. God knows whose room this is.”

You nodded with a laugh, “Okay. Go for it, I’m all yours, Lil.”

She turned around and plops you down onto the mattress, hovering over you, covering every inch of your body with her kisses. It efficiently made you giddy with pleasure as you began to get lost in the moment.

“Oh, god.” You yelped when she bit down on a spot along your neck. “Fuck! Keep going, baby. Keep going~” The closer you got, the louder you were. And, so was the message Lilette was trying to get across. You were hers and that was that. You belonged to her. Only she could make you feel that way. “Oh, yeah? You want more?” She purrs into your ear, sucking at your neck again while her fingers pumped in and out of you relentlessly.

You gave her and whoever was outside a high-pitched whine when you felt yourself tightening around her fingers. With your back arching off the mattress, she continues ramming her fingers into you harshly while being all sweet talking to you. “Holy fucking shit— damn it, that feels so—” You got cut off when you felt a particularly hard poke at your sensitive spot.

“Ah— ah— mmfuck—” Your words started to all get strung together, incoherent. But fuck, were you loud. That smug look on Lilette’s face made you feel insane, you were going to come. And very, very soon. “I’m gonna—”

“Just like that, you got it, baby.” She chuckles, “Go for it, come for me, y/n. You deserve it. My pretty little princess deserves everything she wants…”

“Oh, my god…” You mumbled, trembling from the intensity of your climax. Your hands were clinging onto her back, keeping her on top of you. “Ugh, fuck. Fuck, I can’t believe— how long—”

“Ten minutes.”

“Ten!? Okay, that— that’s enough for now.”

Lilette shrugs, a grin plastered on her face as she kisses you, “Whatever you want, you’re gonna get it.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N: I absolutely wouldn’t have imagined Lilette as a dominant one. Lmao. I never thought I’d be writing smut fics for her either😶

Okay, goodnight y’all. It’s 1:37 am😭

[myboyknows]

WIP Wednesday

We do this thing in the [Runs in the Blood server] every other week, where we post short excerpts from Fanged Four (and subpairing) stories that we're working on - about 4,000 characters. This is an off week, but here's my last snippet because I keep forgetting I have a tumblr and I wanted to post something! The context here is that in 1880, three months after Spike became a vampire, the family goes to Paris for a big vampire event. Some plot happened to their clothes on the way, so Angelus takes Spike to get an outfit to wear and they find something suitable on a young man near Le Chabanais, which is a popular Parisian brothel. He's wearing a green carnation on his lapel, which used to be a code for gay men, and so Angelus is about to take the opportunity to teach young Spike how to seduce the pants off someone.

The problem is Angelus is so bloody charming. Not all the time, of course – certainly not during the late afternoon, that last hour before sunset, when they've been trapped indoors for hours and all four of them are beginning to get hungry, testy, twitchy. Sunlight itches, Spike decided early on. The idea of it itches, knowing it's sitting just on the other side of the wall waiting to devour you in flames. Watching Angelus itch during that hour every day is like looking 127 years into the future and seeing his own self still annoyed by the sun after all this time. Must be something you never get used to, no matter how much you train yourself to sit still and draw a fucking beautiful portrait of your sire cuddling Death like a lover as she poses in elegant but scandalous positions. He can sense it roiling just beneath the surface of Angelus and Darla both, the restlessness, the impatience, despite their calm exteriors. Spike's been experimenting with ways to escape that last hour itch by making love to Drusilla before sunset, but she's itchy and irritable during that time as well, and they always end up fucking wild and fast like they're angry at something – nothing like the way they love each other's bodies in the dark – but he's still finding angry sex to be a pretty great way to spend the time and Dru seems happy to take out her itchiness on him as well, so he hasn't begun to look for other distractions. Maybe in 127 years, he'll learn to draw. But after the soothing sunset, and especially after the evening's first kill or caper, that's when Angelus turns on his ridiculous charm. Spike hates it, except when he forgets to hate it. It's confusing in a way that nothing else is anymore, not since he dug himself out of the earth. Now it feels as if everything in life has been made perfectly clear to him – everything but this one thing, this way that Angelus makes him feel when he's being so goddamn bloody fucking charming. Just tonight, after they'd pushed the remains of supper off a bridge into the Seine and watched the very satisfying resulting sploosh (and after Darla had screamed and Dru had pretended to faint, and Angelus had spun a heartbreaking tale in French to the local Sûreté of trying to prevent the poor human couple from committing a tragic double suicide) the big vampire had been in such a pleasant and playful mood that as soon as they were alone again, he'd twirled Drusilla around and danced her halfway across the bridge and back, both of them laughing. He'd bowed to Darla, grinning, and then – then! – he'd grabbed Spike and danced him around the bridge as well. And in spite of himself, Spike had laughed heartily as they galloped around in a wide circle, full of warm Parisian blood and high on the feeling that there was nothing the four of them couldn't do and get away with, too, and then he took his own lively turn around the bridge with Dru and dipped her so low the tips of her hair swept across the cobblestones. But when he looked up, Angelus wasn't watching. It's not like Spike cares. Why should he care? He barely knows the git, certainly has no reason to want his attention. But the problem is this way Angelus has of making you feel a certain way and then stopping, like it's all some big game. You don't even get to play; you just get danced around the board laughing until you realize suddenly that Angelus has begun playing something else. The problem is Spike keeps forgetting this is how it works, and then the problem is that he remembers. That's why, as he watches Angelus talk quietly to the young man in the alley beside Le Chabanais, his head tilted down as he looks up with just his eyes, smiling, and brushes his fingertips over the petals of the pale green carnation on the man's lapel, as he sees the way this man has fallen immediately under the spell of Angelus's charm, Spike again has the same problem he's been having for the last three months, and he still can't figure out what to fucking do about it.

[eyeofthedrgn]

A Heavy Battle Symphony Chapter 8

Catch up here >> AHBS Masterlist

TW: language, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, self-esteem issues, sexual abuse (only alluded to briefly in future chapters), drinking (comes up late in the story) just a lot of trauma, angst, smut - lots of lovely gay smut

Word count: 1739

Notes: This chapter is slightly graphic on the physical abuse. It's only like two lines, but I wanted to make it known.

Chapter 8 - Sorry for Now

After a while you may forget

But just in case the memories cross your mind

You couldn't know this when I left

Under the fire of your angry eyes

I never wanted to say goodbye

Four months, thirteen days, and ten hours, not that he was counting, since he left. Since the dark haired boy had walked away, leaving Rowan standing on the sidewalk. Since his mind spiraled out of control, and it felt like part of him died.

Rowan had been seeing a therapist for the last three months. It had helped, somewhat. At least he could function as a relatively normal human being again, when he was around people anyway. Most of the time. He almost didn't graduate. Thankfully, his mom, his friend group, and his therapist had helped him get through it.

But all in all, Rowan felt empty. Somehow his heart was broken. He hadn't realized someone could get so attached to someone so fast even though they never really talked or hung out. Maybe it was because they shared such vulnerabilities with each other that day in the park or there really was such a thing as a soulmate and his just left him. Either way, he was broken inside. Yet, he still went to parties with his friends, hung out, but he wasn't always present. Everyone noticed the vacant stares, but they usually left it alone. They all knew the general gist of what happened that day, but they could never understand the emotional gravity well that that day had caused. No one knew that Rowan had fallen for the other boy.

Except the ever observant Elide. She noticed everything. The way Rowan spoke about Lorcan, the way his eyes lit up when he saw the other boy walking down the hall, and the small looks they both shared on cast signing day.

But nobody had seen Lorcan after he had walked away. He never came back to school. No one knew what to think. Most assumed they moved again and they left it at that. Rowan assumed the worst after seeing Lorcan's bruises and him basically saying this was a usual occurrence.

Rowan was brought back to the present when a beach ball hit him in the head. He was sitting on the edge of Aelin's pool, sulking, feet dangling in the water. Aelin was throwing one of her parties, it was nearly the end of summer and soon most of them would head off to college. The noises from his friends finally filtering back into his head, it was suddenly too loud, too bright, and too hot. He ran a hand down his face.

Fenrys had been the beach ball throwing culprit, Rowan just glared at him.

"Come on, Ro. Try and have some fun?" Fen had swam over to Rowan and crossed his arms over the edge of the pool. The roguish blond just wanted him to be happy.

“I’m sorry.” He said that a lot now. Fenrys just raised an eyebrow at the boy… man.

He was eighteen now and he wasn't that scrawny, nerdy looking boy anymore. Rowan supposed that was one good thing that came out of Lorcan leaving, he got addicted to working out. There was a punching bag set up in the garage with some weights. He was fit now, muscles defined, but not bulky.

Elide walked up and mussed up his hair. "Come help me get some drinks." She didn't leave any room for argument.

In the kitchen, Elide just leaned forward on the island and looked at Rowan.

"I thought we were getting drinks."

"Yeah, we will. But-"

"But what?" He really didn't mean to say that with such an attitude, but he was hot and emotionally exhausted. Honestly, he just wanted to go home.

Elide was on her phone, waiting for him to chill. Taking a deep breath he said, "I'm sorry. What did you want to talk about?" Rowan was trying, he really was. She just slid her phone over the counter towards him. He furrowed his brows as he looked at the article on the screen.

Consultants for Erawan Enterprises arrested on counts of fraud, child abuse, human trafficking, and other illicit activities

"What's this?" He had no idea what this was about. Why would he care about Erawan Enterprises?

He picked up the phone and kept reading since Elide clearly wasn’t going to answer. It was short and there was a photo of a devastatingly beautiful woman with dark as night hair, that reminded him of Lorcan, and alabaster skin in handcuffs being pushed into a cop car and a very angry man shoved against the hood of the same car.

Maeve Valgerian and James Perrington were arrested Wednesday night. After some anonymous tips to the Morath Police.

"Who are these people?" Rowan didn't understand.

"Pretty sure she's Lorcan's aunt."

Oh.

Rowan had searched for Lorcan online after he disappeared, but there was literally nothing. Absolutely zero results. It was like he was a ghost.

They were consultants for Erawan Enterprises and moved all over the world for the very powerful man. Erawan Enterprises is under investigation for fraud, money laundering, and human trafficking.

After Valgerian and Perrington were arrested, MPD searched their residence and found incriminating evidence against them.

There was also a teenager held captive in the basement. They were taken to the nearest hospital with severely critical injuries. The name and gender of this individual will not be released for their safety.

The article was published nearly two months ago.

Human trafficking…

Held captive...

Severely critical injuries...

"Please, don't break my phone." He was squeezing the device and didn't realize it. Quickly handing it back to her, his hand went straight to his hair.

“Are you sure this is his aunt?”

“Well, not 100%, but they have physical similarities and their hair…” she trailed off. “And Lorcan had mentioned his aunt’s boyfriend living with them one day in class.”

"Fuck!" He felt like he wanted to rip his hair out.

"Ro." Elide's voice was quiet.

"FUCK!"

After a couple deep breaths, he ran his hands down his face, and then turned to face his friend. "Is he dead?" His voice cracked.

"I don't know. All of the other articles I could find are just about them and Erawan Enterprises. No mentions of Lorcan. Anywhere. It's like he doesn't exist."

Elide pulled him into a hug and he broke.

---

Lorcan had been through shit show after shit show since he left the Whitethorn house. As soon as he returned to the apartment, it was packed up into a moving van and they were gone.

They were in Fenharrow for a couple months. Maeve didn't enroll him in school. He was locked in the basement of the small house they rented, it felt like he had gone crazy. He hadn't seen the sun until they moved again. His skin turned a sickly gray. By the time they moved again, he could feel every one of his ribs, and his hips stuck out, his fingers overlapping when wrapped around his wrist.

Next move was to Morath. Lorcan didn't know if he would survive. He didn’t have a good feeling about this place. The basement became his home yet again. It was filthy. There were thick iron hooks in opposite walls and chains hanging from them. This was where he was going to die. He closed his eyes as Perrington latched the shackles around his wrists.

---

One day, Lorcan heard sirens intermittently. He kept passing out. He wasn't even sure he was hearing sirens or if it was just a ringing in his ears. They were always ringing nowadays. A punch to his face made his vision flicker. Blood and saliva leaked from his mouth as his head rolled down to his chest.

The ringing in his ears got louder. There definitely weren't sirens. No one was going to save him. He was going to die here. He knew it. It was what he deserved. The bastard born half-breed that no one cared about, left to die in his own filth in a disgusting basement. The world slowly faded to black.

---

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He was in Hel. He had to be.

Beep.

The incessant beeping was there to drive him insane. And the smell of bleach was there to make him sick.

Beep.

---

Lorcan startled awake. How could he be awake? He was supposed to be dead. Right?

The nightmare he was having felt so real. Probably because he had lived it before. He assumed that was just what Hel was supposed to be, reliving the worst parts of your life.

But instead, he was in a bed, a hospital bed. Why did they save him? Lorcan wasn't worth saving. Yet, here he was covered in wires, tubes, a needle stuck in his hand, a device on his finger. It was dark outside and the lights were dim in the room.

Deciding he wasn’t actually dead, he took stock of his body, he was certain he had some broken ribs, but nothing else seemed to be broken which was surprising. He was definitely sore and stiff. And exhausted. So exhausted.

---

After… Lorcan didn't know how long he was discharged. He had put on some weight, though not a lot. The staff made sure he ate. They were all nice and cared for him. But now, he stood outside the main entrance of the hospital in some scrubs they gave him. Now, he had nothing. Nobody. He may as well have been lost at sea.

Why had they saved him? He still couldn’t figure that out.

Somehow, he managed to find the small house that he had been stuck in for who knows how long. There was police tape over the door. The door was open.

He pushed through the tape. The house was a mess. It seemed the cops had ransacked the place. But he finally found his things, they were strewn about the floor. Thank Hellas, his journal was still there. After changing, he packed up his books and journal, some clothes, and a few other other necessities.

He needed money or something he could sell. Maeve's jewelry would help. He could pawn it.

Lorcan asked the pawnshop owner for directions to the bus station, and then he set out to see if there was still one person who cared about him. Hopefully this wasn’t a bad idea.

____

Thanks for reading. Things will get better, I promise! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

Edit- oops! I forgot to actually put in tags... My bad. Sorry!

@thenerdandfandoms @starlightorstarfire

[yikesharringrove]

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”

[dontcare77ghj]

Jealous

Clint x reader x Bucky

I don’t know why but my last two posts were once again deleted. Thank the Gods I learnt my lesson and keep them in a document now. Requested by @nickmxller. This is for you.

Wanda liked to call herself the matchmaker of the Tower. She has set up Sam with his girlfriend, herself and Natasha, and the three of you.

She has first set up Clint and Bucky. The inhabitants of the Tower had gotten sick and tired of watching the boys pine over one another. And Wanda did something about it. She pushed the two together and forced them to admit their feelings for one another.

Wanda had met you at a yoga class and had brought you around the Tower one day. You weren’t a superhero or an enhanced, you were merely a civilian. Your visits to the Tower became much more frequent when Wanda worked out you liked the boys, and they thought of you the same way.

Wanda had set you up on a blind date four months after meeting Clint and Bucky. You had gone in expecting someone to get your mind off the two, not for it to be the two.

The three of you had been together for almost two years, and you knew anything you could about one another. There were a lot others knew about the three of you, but there was one thing you don’t think they’d ever know or understand. Just how jealous Clint and Bucky could get.

“No, Miranda needs the day off Thursday. Her mother’s going into surgery.” You said, holding the phone between your shoulder and ear. “And Julie’s out of town, so don’t even go there.”

“Okay, I can do Thursday if you cover my Saturday morning,” Rhys said, making you smile. “I have a date with my potential soulmate Saturday.”

“Done. Are you still okay working Wednesday afternoon?” You asked,  looking down at your schedule.

“Might as well. I got nothing better to do. Unlike you.” He chuckled.

“Charming, Rhys. Did you talk to all your other bosses like that?” You quizzed him as your cheeks burnt bright red.

“Nope. But they would’ve fired me if I did.” He said as the elevator opened behind you.

“Don’t think I won’t fire you.” You rolled your eyes. “I totally could fire you.”

“You could not fire me. You felt bad for an hour because you couldn’t give that old woman what she wanted.” He laughed as Clint sat beside you. “Besides, you love me.”

“Moria’s a regular, and she’s a sweetheart.” You defended yourself. “I gotta go. Remember Thursday.” You told him.

“Of course. See you, boss.” Rhys said before hanging up.

“How was the meeting?” You asked, leaning over to kiss Clint in greeting.

“Boring. I wanted to leave.” Clint told you, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “He wouldn’t let me.”

“Steve would’ve killed you.” Bucky sat, taking a seat on your other side. “And then Natasha would. I quite like you being alive, hotshot.”

“As do I.” You hummed, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Who was on the phone, doll?” Bucky asked, taking a strand of your hair and twirling it around his finger.

“Rhys. I hired him a couple weeks ago.” You told him. “He’s a good worker. Apprenticed under some pretty good bakers, always early, he’s a model employee.”

“Sounds like you really like him, sweetheart,” Clint commented.

“He’s a good work friend.” You shrugged.

“Is he friends with other employees?” Bucky asked. “Getting along with others? Not causing any ripples?”

“Ripples?” You raised a brow. “Your age is showing, Buck.” You smirked as Clint laughed.

“That’s mean,” Bucky whined. “You two are mean.”

“Not mean. Sarcastic.” Clint explained. “We’re sarcastic, Buck.”

“Anyway,” You sighed, turning to face Bucky. “He has caused no issues. He’s good with everyone.”

“That’s good,” Clint said. “That’s very good.”

“Yeah, it is.” You hummed. “Oh, I brought back your favorite from the shop. I made extras just for you.” You said, jumping up from the couch.

“That’s great, doll,” Bucky said.

“What would we do without you, Y/N?” Clint asked.

“Starve.” You responded from the kitchen. “Get off your butts. I’m not bringing it to you, so you’ll have to come to me.”

“Do I smell cake?” Clint asked as he snaked his arms around your waist.

“An almost ruined cake.” You said, patting his hand. “You almost gave me a heart attack, I could’ve dropped the bowl.”

“Yeah, Clint, you almost gave her a heart attack,” Bucky smirked, moving next to you. “No cake for you.” He added, pressing a kiss to your lips. Bucky pulled away and quickly swiped his finger through the cake batter and stuck it in his mouth.

“James Barnes.” You scolded, pulling the bowl away from him. “I’m still using this.”

“Yeah, James,” Clint smirked. “She’s still using it.” He said, dipping his own finger in the bowl.

“Clinton.” You sighed, pulling out of his grasp. You moved with the bowl to the other side of the table and raised a brow at your smug men. “Why do I let the two of you visit when you do this every time?” You asked, a faint smile on your face.

“Because you love us,” Bucky said, rounding the table. He made you put the batter down as he pulled you into an embrace.

“I suppose that’s a good reason.” You shrugged, leaning up to kiss the man.

“And who would tell you that this needs more chocolate,” Clint added, pulling the bowl towards him.

“And you ruined the moment,” Bucky said as you moved next to Clint.

“Are you sure?” You asked, leaning over his shoulder. “I thought it was pretty chocolatey anyway.”

“Everything needs more chocolate.” Clint smiled at you, reaching over to kiss you. “Do you have white chips?”

“Do I have white chips? What kind of bakery do you think I’m running?” You teased the man as you pulled away. “Do you only want white chips?” You asked, moving into the pantry.

“Dark ones too,” Clint said. “That’ll work.”

“Something smells good,” Rhys said, entering as you exited the pantry. “And I’m not talking about you.” He added, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Save the charm for the bar.” You smiled, ducking under his arm. “Buck, Clint, this is Rhys. Rhys, these are my partners, Bucky and Clint.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rhys said, putting his hand out to Bucky. “Y/N talks a lot about you.”

“Likewise, with you.” Bucky nodded, shaking Rhys’s hand with his metal one.

“Y/N, there’s someone out front who wants to talk to you,” Rhys said, turning to you.

“Did they look angry or not?” You sighed, pulling off your apron.

“It could just be their face.” Rhys shrugged. “Your necklace is under your shirt here.” Rhys stopped you and pulled your necklace out from under your shirt.

“Thanks. Wish me luck.” You said before moving into the front of the store.

Rhys was not wrong. The woman wasn’t mad at anything, she just had a bitch face as she placed a large order. As you entered the backroom, there was palpable tension between the men.

“Everything okay?” You asked the men.

“Everything’s great, doll. Just getting to know Rhys here.” Bucky told you.

“Are you free for lunch, sweetheart?” Clint asked.

“I have to finish with the batter.” You told him.

“I can do it for you, Y/N.” Rhys volunteered. “Go out, have lunch, have some fun.” He pushed you.

“Thanks, Rhys.” You said, hugging the man.

“Of course, hon.”

“Alright, let’s go.” You said as Clint wrapped an arm around your waist, and Bucky took your hand.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?” Clint asked, leaning in closer to you.

“Once or twice.” You smiled, resting your back against the bar.

“You look beautiful,” Clint said, holding your chin and kissing you.

“And you look handsome.” You responded once you pulled away.

“And you two are too sweet for your own good,” Bucky said, appearing suddenly. “Tony told me to tell you two that it’s a party, and that’s he’s getting a spray bottle if you look like you’re getting heated.”

After the team had completed another successful mission, Tony had decided it was time for another party. Instead of inviting hundreds of strangers, like he usually would, the party had been reserved for Avengers, partners, and friends.

“Tony’s just mad that Pepper’s late.” You commented, grabbing a new drink.

“You’re not wrong there, doll.” Bucky chuckled as Clint curled into his side.

“Ooh, speaking of late.” You said, noticing who was arriving.

“What’s he doing here?” Clint asked, noticing Rhys entering.

“I invited him.” You said, kissing your men on the cheek. “I’ll be back in a minute, I love you.” You told them before making your way over to Rhys. “Glad you could make it.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Rhys said, throwing his arm around your shoulders. “Are you going to introduce me to this mystery man now?”

“Right this way.” You smirked, leading him into the party’s fold.

You had left Rhys with the man you wanted to set him up with and made your way to the bar. You hadn’t even opened your mouth to order a drink when you were pulled away.

“What’s the big idea?” You asked as Bucky pulled you out of the party with Clint by his side.

“Quiet.” Clint grit out as the three of you walked into a dark hall of the Tower.

“What are the two of you doing?” You asked as you stopped. You let out a quiet grunt as Bucky pushed you into a wall.

You were once again denied the opportunity to speak as Bucky smashed his lips to yours.

“Buck, what?” You gasped as he pulled away. You weren’t given an answer as Clint pushed Bucky out the way and silenced you with his own lips. “What’s brought this on?” You panted as Clint pulled away and shoved his face in your neck.

“Fucking Rhys,” Bucky growled. “He had his hands all over you, and you didn’t do anything.”

“Wait, Rhys? That’s what this is all about?” You asked, pushing Clint away. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Sweetheart, he’s always touching you, and helping you and flirting with you,” Clint grumbled. “The worst part is you never seem to notice.”

“Oh, my God. I love you two, I really do, but you need to work on communication.” You sighed, brushing the hair out of your face. “You know Rhys is gay, right?”

“But he’s always touching you.” Bucky protested.

“He’s extremely friendly. He hangs off everyone he meets.” You told him. “I brought him here because Wanda and I want to set him up with Steve.” You explained.

“With Steve?” Clint questioned slowly.

“Yes with Steve. Wanda thinks they’ll be good together.” You said. “Maybe if the two of you had just come to me and said you were jealous of Rhys,”

“We weren’t jealous.” Clint protested.

“Then what the hell was that back there?” You asked, raising a brow. Clint didn’t answer and looked down. “If the two of you had just said something, I could have told you about the plan. I could have told you he was just a friend. In fact I did tell you that, several times I believe.” You finished, crossing your arms.

“We’re sorry, doll.” Bucky said after a second. “We just didn’t want you to think we didn’t trust you. We didn’t want you to know that we were,”

“Insecure?” You asked as he trailed off.

“Yeah.” He sighed.

“I love the two of you. I love you Bucky Barnes and I love you Clint Barton. Nothing and no-one is going to change that. Don’t you see? I only want the two of you.” You said, taking one of both their hands into yours.

“And we love you.” Clint said, squeezing your hand tightly.

“How about we skip going back to the party, and just head back to our room?” You suggested.

“Have I ever told you, you have the best ideas?” Bucky asked you.

“No, but I look forward to hearing it more.” You smirked as you began to tug the men towards the elevator.

Remember to ask if you want to be tagged. Taglists are always open. If you enjoy my writing please consider buying me a coffee.

Taglist

@rvgrsbrns @smilexcaptainx @hopingforbarnes @starlingelliot @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @jelly-fishy-babie @skeletoresinthebasement @agent-barnes40 @reann-loves-sebstan @skadikh @summergeezburr @buckybarton03 @miyaeadys-blog @bindythedemon @natasharomanoffismywife @keenmarvellover

[rustybutterknife]

Headcannons for Lydia:

She’s a transbian!!

She came out as trans when she was 10, and went on E when she was 12!

Emily and Charles were supportive of her!

Her full name is Lydia Jane Grace Deetz. Lydia because that’s what her mom said she would had named her had she been born a girl, and Jane Grace because she was really into Against me! at the time.

She got her name legally changed when she was 15, a couple of months before her mom died.

When Lydia and her dad moved, nobody else knew she was trans. Not even Delia.

Beetlejuice was the first person in the household to find out.

He saw her doing her E shot and asked her “what is that? Are you diabetic? Sick?? Dying???”

And she just calmly explains that no, she’s trans and those are just hormones.

Naturally, Beetlejuice has a million and one questions. Some are good, some are kinda dumb, and some Lydia just straight up has to go “no, we’re not talking about that.”

The Maitlands were next to know when they looked through old photo albums the Deetz’s had. They saw an old photo of Lydia when she was about 5 or 6, shaggy hair that she fought to let grow, dressed in a shark T-shirt and fish swim trunks on the beach.

They ask her about it, asking if she had a brother they never knew about. She just stayed quiet and let them ask questions before she eventually told them.

They hugged her (somehow) and told her that they accepted her, and that she could talk to them about these sort of things.

Delia was the last to find out. Lydia just straight up told her over breakfast, Delia almost choking on her coffee over the news. Cause hey, you don’t really expect it happen.

It’s takes Lydia a few minutes to explain that “no, Delia. I don’t wanna ‘be a boy’. Been there, done that, not interested” before Delia gets it.

Delia just asks everyone around her if they knew, and they’re all like “yeah, we been knew.”

During pride month, they all get shirts that say “I love my trans daughter” and she nearly cries

Whenever she’s feeling extremely dysphoric, Charles will take her to the local mall.

She’ll always book it to hot topic, it’s pretty much a 2nd home to her.

She owns 22 dresses from hot topic

She’s also an absolute goddess when it comes to makeup. She owns 15 palettes from Hot Topic, and she owns about 5 brush sets.

One from a hot topic mystery bag, one from wish, one from Ross, and 2 from Walgreens.

Her favorite ones are the Walgreens ones, they’re just so soft and work well.

She didn’t come out as a lesbian until she’d been in the new house for a couple of months.

She’d had her fair share of girlfriends, but that wasn’t anyone’s business.

She came out to the Maitlands first, who of course told her that they loved her dearly and that she could talk to them about her crushes if she wanted.

Adam is like “hey, we both like beautiful women, that’s something we could bond over now!” Barbra blushes and giggles. Lydia is like “God damn it Adam, you’re trying and I appreciate it.”

Later on, after everyone goes to bed, they get to work.

Adam makes her a hand drawn card with a little cartoon Lydia coming out of a closet, holding a little rainbow flag on the front and a little heart felt letter on the inside.

Barbra made a cake with rainbow chocolate chips on the inside, and rainbow frosting on the outside.

They wake her up and she simply rolls over and goes “Beetlejuice, it’s too early for this...”

“No, wake up, it’s us!”

She goes looks up at her alarm clock, then back at them.

“Excuse my language, and don’t tell my dad, but it is 3 in the mother fucking morning.”

They’re in a bit of shock because “*gasp*, she said the fuck word” but they get over it quickly

Barbra gets Lydia up and they lead her into the attic.

She sees the cake and lets out an audible gasp, a smile plastered on her face.

Adam gives her the card and she’s all almost in tears.

They hug her and the dam breaks loose.

Beetlejuice is the next to find out

He sees the lights and hears their voices from upstairs and wonders “ah shit, are they getting it on upstairs?? I wanna watch!” Like the pervert he is

So he bursts in and sees Lydia crying and the Maitlands comforting her and he’s like “oh shit gotta go” but Lydia sees him before he can get away and she just goes “Yo, BJ, get back her you rat.”

He sheepishly comes in and is like “hey, uh... it’s... gonna be okay.” While patting Lydia on the back because he thinks that she’s crying for bad reasons.

She’s like “no, no, I’m okay,” and she shows him the card and cake

His eyes go wide as yells “you’re a lesbian!!?”

The Maitlands and Lydia quickly shush him because god damn it Beetlejuice, her parents are sleeping and don’t know yet!

Beetlejuice is like “oh shit, sorry.”

They talk for a bit before eating the cake.

“So uh... if you want any advice on how to ‘woo the ladies’-“

“Beetlejuice, no...”

“Okay, got it, not the best time.”

“No, you just give bad advice.”

She eventually comes out to Charles and Delia.

She asks to talk to him in private about something, and he agrees. He wonders if she’s getting bullied again at her new school, or if anything has gone wrong in her life.

“Dad... there’s no easy way to tell you this... but... I’m gay.”

He breathes a sigh of relief.

She thinks that he’s frustrated or angry with her, and she starts to cry.

He quickly hugs her and rubs her back, telling her that he kinda already knew.

“What???”

“I mean, there’s no... what do you kids say? ‘Hetty spaghetti’ explanation for your obsession with Wednesday Adam.”

“Dad, please never say ‘hetty spaghetti’ ever again.”

“You got it.” He throws in an awkward thumbs up.

When she tells Delia, she goes off on a tangent about “spiritual exploration” and “discovering your true self”

Lydia cuts her off and simply says “I’m gay, it’s not that deep.”

She leaves the conversation when Delia starts talking about “experimenting with women” in college.

She loves emo music

her favorite bands are Burn the Ballroom, Against me!, and My Chemical Romance

She also loves to sing, but she’s shy about her voice.

Beetlejuice secretly has a video of her belting out “love on the brain” by Rihanna

He has a not-so-secret video of her singing “Transgender Dysphoria Blues” in the living room.

He felt like he was stabbed again when she got to... that part...

He’s surprised because god damn kid, you said it so angry, are you okay???

His hair is purple by the end of the song and he’s crying

She ends up having to comfort him

On a positive note, she absolutely loves sweets and has a little bowl of heresy kisses next to her bed.

Okay that’s all, thank you! :D

(Also I’m a trans man and I don’t know much about being dysphoric as a trans girl so please tell me if I got anything factually incorrect or if anything I said was offensive!)

[alindakb]

Letters to my Parents - Wednesday 25 January 1995 - by Alinda

Wednesday 25 January 1995

Dear mom and dad,

So, it the end of January now, and I have finally figured out the secret of the egg. And all thanks to some help of Cedric and Myrtle. Who wasn’t pleased that I never come to visit her anymore, which I kind of feel bad about, because she had been a good friend to me in my second year. Draco says a good friend doesn’t help you try to commit suicide, but I don’t think he fully understands how lonely I was back then and that if Myrtle hadn’t been there I might have tried even sooner. Which now makes Draco say that would have been better because me almost dying made him realise his love for me was more important than his father's approval. But you know, maybe he should have figured that out without me almost dying, so he has no grounds to complain about my friendship with Myrtle.

But I’ll get back to you about the whole egg thing. First I want to tell you about Hagrid. You know we figured out that he was a giant during the Yule ball. Well, it turns out that we weren’t the only ones that heard his secret. On the first day of term, a news article about him was published in the Daily Prophet. We discovered it during breakfast and I hated that we had to sit out Herbology before we could run off to his cabin for Care of Magical Creatures. When we got there, Hagrid was nowhere to be seen and Professor Grubby-Plank was there to stand in for him. She showed us Unicorns, and it was nice to see them in a better light than the death one Draco and I saw in our first year, but we were worried about Hagrid and struggled to concentrate in class.

The article was very mean, calling Hagrid brutal and saying students were scared of him. And they said that his mother was part of Voldemort’s army of giants that killed many muggles. And Nott and Crabbe were mentioned in the article, saying Hagrid wasn’t able to stop his Hippogriff from attacking the students and that he’s torturing them with his new Blast-Ended-Skrewts. If Professor Grubby-Plank hadn’t called for attention I’m sure we would have ended up fighting with them.

We had lessons all day and I couldn’t wait for it to be over so we could go check on Hagrid. We knocked on his door and a window for over ten minutes, only Hagrid wouldn’t open the door. I know he was there, we could hear Fang’s barks, but he wouldn’t open for us. Hagrid didn’t show himself for the entire week and on Saturday, Draco and I were back at his door, begging him to open up. We screamed that we didn’t care. But it was all for nothing.

Another week went by without Hagrid. Hermione and I even got into a small fight because of it all. She said something about how good the Care for Magical Creatures lessons are now and I just lost it. Draco tells me I should control my anger better, that it’s not Hermione’s fault and that I shouldn’t blame her. And I know he’s right, so the next day I apologised to Hermione. She also said that she should have been more considered and all is good between us again.

That Saturday was a Hogsmeade day, and Draco and I joined our friends on the walk there. It was really funny when we passed the Durmstrang ship. Victor Krum appeared on the deck, dressed in nothing but swimming trunks. We all stopped and watched as he dived into the lake. Greg mentioned that Krum most be mad for jumping into freezing water. And Draco responded with ‘but also good looking mad’.  We all laughed at Greg who just shook his head complaining he should find straight friends, that everyone was betraying him. After which Hermione and Daphne pointed out that they were straight. Greg corrected them and told them he needed straight male friends. That the gays and bi’s are taking the overhand. Blaise said he shouldn’t be worried, that he would still drool over girls with him. And Luna agreed she would too.

After some short shopping, we ended up in the Three Broomsticks. I’d hoped that we would maybe see Hagrid here. Draco told me to stop worrying and enjoy our time with our friends. He suggested to maybe leave a little early so we could have the dormitory to ourself. So I tried, only to be interrupted by Mr Bagman who insisted he needed to speak to me alone. Draco gave him an angry look but let me go with him to the bar. Blaise shouted after us that Bagman could buy us some drinks. He laughed that off and then glanced at some Goblins that seemed to keep an eye on him. I asked them why they were here, and he said that the Goblins were looking for Mr Crouch. And that is how I found out that apparently, Mr Crouch has been ill and that Ron’s brother Percy is keeping the department going with the help of instructions he gets by owl.

I’m sure you can guess what Bagman offered me again. His help. He wanted me to break the rules again. He said it was because he wanted a Hogwarts victory, so I told him to go offer Cedric his help. But Bagman said he had taken a liking to me because of my amazing flying when facing the dragon. I told him I was making good progress with the egg, even though at that point I still had no clue.

I slipped back to my friends and soon Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean joined us and we had a lot of fun. Until Rita Skeeter came into the pub. She was fishing for a story, even asked me for an interview about the Hagrid I knew. And then the most amazing thing happened. I had expected Draco to lose his temper, but it was Hermione who stood up and called her a horrible woman and told her to keep her quill inside her bag and leave us all alone.

And then she was off. Ron, Draco and I followed her. Ron was worried Skeeter would go for Hermione next, but Hermione didn’t seem to care. She went on and on that Hagrid shouldn’t let Skeeter get to him and that he’s done hiding out in his cabin. She screamed at his door that he should open up, that nobody cared that his mother was a giant and that he couldn’t let that foul Skeeter woman do this to him. And you should have seen her face when the door opened and Headmaster Dumbledore was standing there. He invited us in and we all sat down while the Headmaster summoned some tea and cake. He told Hagrid that we almost broke down his door because we still want to see him. We all agreed with him and told Hagrid that we liked him and didn’t care who his mother was. Draco pitched in that he understands, that there are a lot of students that don’t like him just because his father is Lucius Malfoy and that Hagrid shouldn’t let others get to him, but that he should show them that he’s his own person. And then he hit me in the ribs, motioning with his head for me to pitch in. So I told him I also couldn’t pick my family and that I had to live with the Dursleys who despised magic. And how nobody blames me for them.

I think all of this cheered Hagrid up a little. The headmaster told Hagrid he expected him back at work on Monday and that he would join him for breakfast that day. And then he left. Hagrid then told us about his dad. Even showed us a picture. It turns out his dad died when he was in his second year. But the Headmaster had helped him, made sure he got the job of gamekeeper. He said his father had told him to never be ashamed. So from now on, he will try to keep that in mind and that he’d been an idiot for hiding out in his cabin all this time.

So Hagrid was back at teaching and that left me with only the stupid egg to worry about. Cedric had given me a clue, a couple of days after the ball. He’d told me to go take a bath with the egg. He even gave up the password for the prefects' bathroom. And since Draco and I still hadn’t figured out what the egg was all about, we decided it was time to try out Cedric’s hint and explore the prefects' bathroom. We went at night, tom make sure we would have enough time and that we wouldn’t be disturbed. We used to cloak and the Marauders Map to make sure nobody would spot us out of bed.

Draco was in love with the bathroom as soon as we stepped in. He said he wouldn’t mind being a prefect if it meant he could use the bathroom whenever he wants. The entire room was made out of white marble, including the swimming pool that functioned as the bathtub. It had a hundred golden taps all around its edges, each with a differently coloured jewel set into the handle. Draco didn’t waste any time and placed two towels next to the edge and opened some of the taps. Blue, pink and yellow bubbles the size of footballs started to flow around, just like some purple clouds. The bath filled up with hot water and foam in record time. And then Draco took off his dressing gown and his boxer. He winked at me and then jumped into the bath. I just stood there for a while, I can’t hide that from time to time I’m still amazed about how beautiful Draco is.

When Draco was swimming some laps I took of my own clothes and joined him in the bath. It was so deep that my feet barely touched the bottom. Draco swam to me and wasted no time before he started to kiss me. And it didn’t just stay with kissing. For the first time, we had more space than our small bed and it was just perfect. He turned me around so I could lean over the edge while he entered me, his hands roaming over my body. It was amazing and we both found pleasure and were still having when we both had a heart attack. Out of nowhere, someone said that this was quite the show. We turned around and spotted Myrtle sitting cross-legged on top of the taps.

I screamed at her for spying on us. She just said that she had closed her eyes when we got in, that she didn’t see anything. And then she said I hadn’t been to see her for ages. I felt bad about that. I told her I was sorry and that I would come by more often again. Draco still thinks it’s crazy that I’m friend with Moaning Myrtle, but he lets it be. He doesn’t want to think too much about that time, and what I did that year. I know he knows that I would never do anything like that again, that I won’t leave him like that. But that doesn’t change the fact that for one night he thought he lost me forever.

To change the subject, Draco had picked up the egg and opened it up. It was still wailing and I pushed it close, the sound making me feel nauseous. And then Myrtle told us to try the egg in the water. Apparently, that’s what Cedric had done. Draco asked her if she had been spying on Cedric too. She said, of course, she had and even asked Draco if he’s ever seen Cedric, who would not spy on a good looking boy like that. Draco agreed with her and I slapped him, told him that his boyfriend was standing next to him. So he kissed me and said that I was the only one he ever wanted to see without his clothes on.

After that, we lowered the egg in the water and opened it there. Now it wasn’t wailing, but a gurgling song was coming out of it. Draco and I both took a deep breath and slid under the surface. We listened to the song and then went up to take a breath. The song goes like this:

Come seek us where our voices sound, we cannot sing above the ground. And while you’re searching, ponder this: wove taken what you’ll sorely miss. An hour-long you’ll have to look and to recover what we took. But past an hour, the prospect’s black. Too late, it’s gone, it won't come back.

I went down to listen again, but Draco stayed above the surface. When I got up again I was wondering out loud who wouldn’t be able to use their voices above the ground. Draco and Myrtle both laughed at me. I looked at Draco and he pointed towards the painting on the wall that showed a mermaid sleeping on a rock. And then it all made sense, the song was made by the merpeople. Some times we could see one swimming in the lake through the windows of the common room. And then I turned as white as Myrtle. I hardly know how to swim, let alone be able to breathe underwater for an hour to look for something they took from me. Draco reassured me that we would find a way, that Hermione could help, that she would love the challenge to find a way. He didn’t seem all that worried, he was already guessing what they would steal from me, what it was I would have to retrieve.

After that, we said our goodbyes to Myrtle and I promised again that I would visit her again soon. We pulled the cloak back on and started to make our way down back to the dungeon. At some point, Draco told me to stop. That someone was moving in Professor Snape’s office on the map. We both looked and were surprised to see the name Bartemius Crouch. Mr Crouch is supposed to be sick, not able to even get to the ministry for work. But here he was, sneaking around in Professor Snape’s office.

And then everything went wrong. I was so preoccupied with Mr Crouch’s weird behaviour that I forgot to jump over the trick step. My leg sank down and I dropped the egg. The cloak slipped off us while I tried to grab the egg. Luckily Draco managed to grab the cloak before we lost it. He pulled it over us and told me to be quiet, that Filch was on his way. The egg had opened up and was wailing at the bottom of the stairs. Filch closed it and started to shout that this would be the last trick Peeves pulled. That stealing a champions egg was the last straw, that Dumbledore would kick him out now. Filch started to climb the stairs and I was sure he was going to hit us and we would get expelled or something.

Luckily for us, that was the moment Professor Snape showed up at the bottom of the stairs, asking what was going on. Filch said it was Peeves, that he’d thrown the egg. But Professor Snape took one look at the egg, shook his head and told Filch he would make sure that the rightful owner would get his egg back. That it probably belongs to Harry, and that Harry could collect it from his office in the morning, together with Draco. And that they can expect a nasty detention for being out of bed in the middle of the night. Draco and I both stayed quiet. We would serve detention, everything was better than having Filch drag us to his office and going to the Headmaster. The headmaster would be obligated to inform our guardians, something Snape promised not to do again, unless absolutely necessary. He still feels bad about what happened after Christmas with Draco’s dad. He walked in on us when Draco was holding one of his father's letters with tears in his eyes. I think it made an impression on Professor Snape.

We thought we were safe, and then the only person that could see us showed up. Professor Moody walked in on the scene and he looked right at me and Draco. We stared at each other for some time. I was sure he was going to give us away and get us in real trouble. But he turned back to Snape and they had words. Snape had mentioned to Filch that someone had been in his office and Filch let that slip to Moody, and then Moody and Snape had this little argument on the stairs. Moody said something about spots that don’t come off, and Professor Snape suddenly seized his left forearm convulsively with his right hand, as though something on it hand hurt him. Later that evening, when we were back in our bed, Draco told me about the Dark Mark, the sign of the Dark Lord that was tattooed on his followers left forearm. He told me his father has one, and that he knows for sure that Professor Snape also has it, that he was part of the Dark Lord’s followers. That there was no other reason he would grab for his arm like that.

This made me wonder, would Professor Snape still be one of his followers? So I asked him about it the next morning when Draco and I went to collect my egg. Professor Snape looked sad when he told us he wasn’t the smartest boy when he was younger, and that he’d made mistakes in his life he would never forgive himself for, but that I needed to worry, that he would do everything in his power to keep me safe. That didn’t stop him from still giving us detention. We had to clean cauldrons for hours on our Saturday off. Even after I told Professor Snape that we were out of bed because we needed to be to figure out the clue of the egg. Professor Snape shook his head and told us we could have worked it out during the day and that we still deserved punishment for being out of bed.

Well, at least I now know what I’m supposed to do for the second task. Not that we have any idea how I’m going to do it. But we still have a couple of weeks before the task, and Hermione and Draco are sure we will find a way for me to breath underwater.

Love you,

Harry James Potter.

[hannah-writes]

we are such things as dreams are made of

I missed WIP wednesday, technically, but here. Since I haven’t written anything for a while, here’s a WIP that’s been languishing in my gdocs for months. Definitely AU. Definitely.

Everything Alex had ever read about magic told him one thing: it was better with a partner. Casting with someone else, someone of the opposite gender, was an experience unlike anything else. Magic is in his bones, he knows it. It had been in his mom's too - his snatched memories of her had her shining with a radiant light he'd never seen replicated in anyone else, the way she could soothe his aches with a touch of her fingers and a brush of her lips against his forehead. But magic... Magic is a rare gift. Alex's soul is made of intangible starlight, whispers of the ethereal that allow him to do things that should be impossible. 

When his mom left he was ten. He didn't realise that he was magic until one summer with Kyle, they were building a treehouse and Kyle hit his thumb with the hammer. Distracted by the pain, he'd tripped over himself and fallen, hand landing on an upturned nail which went right through his palm. Alex had run his fingers over the skin after the nail had been removed and they watched the ragged edges of his palm stitch together. Jesse Manes beat him the next summer, tried to stomp down the sparks of otherworldliness that ran through Alex's blood right after dragging him to the Registration centre in Santa Fe where he got his name and Manifestation stuck into a database. 

It doesn’t stop him. The jealous jibes from his siblings - that fade as they move to follow their father’s footsteps into various branches of the Armed Forces - and the regular beatings from the man who contributed to giving him life aren’t enough to stop him from Casting. He Casts like he plays, music and magic inextricably linked in his mind, the strumming of his plectrum over guitar strings and the positioning of his fingers on the fretboard helping his mind calm and letting the power flow through him. When his fingers move in small, practised spells, he watches a campfire dance, he watches things move through the force of his will. He never tests his potential, only doing enough to piss his father off to show him that Alex’s gift wasn’t his. It had nothing to do with him.

When his father catches him watching Kyle, flush high on his cheeks, the defensive magic that he’s learned for just this situation fails him, his shield dissipates in a firework of shattered slivers of Will that dissolve around him as Jesse Manes’ creative torture techniques hit their mark. Bloodied and battered and bruised, Alex never heals himself; the pain he feels is worth the brief respite he gets from the brutality of living under his father’s roof. He tells himself one day he’ll leave, he’ll graduate high school and move to LA. He’ll become a musician, weave melodies like Casts. He tells himself one day he’ll watch the light flowing from his fingers like liquid gold and he won’t feel ashamed. He won’t feel the sallow shuddering ache of his father’s words and hatred crawling across his skin like a Refraction. One day he’ll be free.

***

The first time he sees Michael Guerin, wild curls and sharp features, something inside of him feels incandescent. The world flares in ripples of magic that ache to be nearer to him, to respond to the subtle pulse of power pouring from the other teen. He’s lanky and angry, tied by an invisible string to the Evans twins and carries a chip on his shoulder that Alex can feel whenever he looks at an authority figure. Michael’s magic is soft and broken but it’s there. Alex can <i>feel</i> it. And it’s a gravity well that pulls him in.

The Evans twins have their own kind of magic. It pulses and passes between them but Alex has always felt like it was Empty, like a part of them was missing. They never Cast, their echoes are small and stronger when they’re together. Alex has always had a radial awareness of them, felt them tugging on the edges of his consciousness and he wonders if they can sense him. Sometimes, even those without the Gift can sense Alex. It pours out of every part of his soul and sometimes reacts instinctively to the way that Alex is pushed around. The thread of mischief that’s buried deep within Alex creeps out sometimes; Kyle pushes him against the lockers too hard - somewhere stuck between being jealous of Alex’s Gift and afraid of being thought of as gay - and Alex’s fingers cross and uncross twice, resulting in Kyle’s shoelaces tying themselves together in math class. Sometimes the water in the locker room will drop temperature sharply after he’s been rat-tailed by one of Kyle’s asshole jock friends, the icy chill of freezing water a balm against the lingering sting against Alex’s skin as the rough-and-tumble jocks all shriek and screech and complain.

When Michael comes to the school and settles in, together with the Evans siblings, but also entirely separate, Alex feels their magic flowing like a three-way filter. Energy passes between them and when Alex concentrates he can see it, astral beauty and cosmic radiance that makes him think of those clear nights in the desert when he can look up and see the Milky Way painting the sky, stretched and staining the stars overhead, a benevolent window into the unknown. He’s caught watching them on more than one occasion, eyes glazed as he tracks the power that rolls between them, stretching with distance but never breaking. He wonders what it is that they can do, how their Gift manifests. He’s never seen them Cast, or even felt it. He’s attuned enough to the shifting energies of the town that he can feel when Maria or Mimi do a Read. It thrums through the air like a soft caress along Alex’s jaw and down his spine; a warm touch of homesafehome.

Liz nudges him in the side playfully, chewing on a Red Vine and watching Alex watching them. Watching him. Alex can always pinpoint the Evans twins in a crowd by their nature; they stand out like he does. But Michael… Michael is a lighthouse beaming and bright and brilliant. Alex has seen him scrawling ahead in physics and calculus, an absolute genius behind the attitude and carefully crafted cockiness that keeps everyone but the Evans twins away. Alex wants to gently push against those walls he can see, prod and poke and find a crack that he can slip in and learn the guy behind the attitude. He wants to see Michael trusting in him. He wants to see Michael Cast. He wants to be there when magic wraps around them, blazing and burning, roaring in the space between and shuddering to a crescendo that he knows would be unlike anything else.

But he doesn’t know how. Michael doesn’t look at him and if it’s not Max or Isobel he isn’t even the slightest bit interested. Everything Alex has ever been able to find about magic, about Casting, about how to find out his Static, has been in battered old books and in dark corners of the internet where fact meets conspiracy theory. No one wanted to teach him anything, even if they could Alex wasn’t sure that it would help. Most people could hardly Cast outside of their Static, not without having some serious firepower behind them. 

But Alex… Alex has always been Different.

[ashes-and-ashes]

Drarryland #9!

This was really, really fun to write! We have forced bonding, lots of fluff, a bit of angst and of course, Pansy and Blaise being Pansy and Blaise, the two biggest Drarry shippers in Hogwarts. Hope you guys like this - let me know please!

@gameofdrarry

Prompt: Forced Bonding: the fallout of this as told from the POV of either 1) Ron -OR- 2) Blaise -OR- 3) The Minister of Magic - Minimum: 576 words - Maximum: 1675 words.

~

Monday

It really was not Blaise’s fault.

Never mind that he and Pansy had spent 3 months planning this. Never mind that the actual spell itself took 2 weeks to take effect. Never mind that they used some incredibly complicated spell work that would have let them ace their NEWTS for sure.

No, it wasn’t Blaise’s fault at all.

He leans against the wall now, smirking down at Draco and Potter. Both of them are flushed, almost hissing at Blaise, and both of them now had a ring of pure silver wrapped around their middle finger.

It’s interesting, to think of Draco and Potter being together. Blaise had spent the last 4 years of his life listening to Draco, about how Potter was incredibly annoying, immature and infuriating, how just because he’s the chosen one doesn’t mean we all have to bow down before him. It was almost a daily routine - If Draco didn’t mention Potter at least once before breakfast, all of them grew deeply concerned.

Blaise isn’t an idiot. He’s known about Draco, known since 4th year when Draco’s gaze fell on Marcus’ body instead of Millicent’s, known since those awkward dates between him and Pansy. Draco had never told him, not officially, in a household where Gay was uttered right next to mudblood and blood-traitor. Blaise has always known, to some extent.

Of course, all the shagging they did in 6th year didn’t hurt either.

Blaise just leans back, lets that infuriating smirk settle on his lips. It’s winter break, empty courtyards and hallways, and no one wanted to mess with 3 angry 8th years anyways. “So. Here are the rules.”

“Screw the rules.” Potter glares up at him, hair dimples and glasses askew. “What the hell did you do to us?”

Blaise shrugs. “Magic. Unbreakable Connection. We bound you two together for about…” He cocks his head. “5 days. Starting now.”

Draco splutters. “5 days?”

“Yep!” Blaise winks. “Or, you know. However long it takes for you two to decide.”

Potter groans. “Deside what, Zabini?”

Blaise shrugs. “Decide if you two are going to start shagging, or go back to being mortal enemies.” He smirks at the dumbfounded looks that cross both their faces. “Oh, get over it. Pansy and I aren’t blind, you know. We’ve seen you two eye-screwing from across the bleeding hall.”

Draco swears. “Goddamn it Blaise, if I get my hands on you…” He starts forwards, fists clenched when suddenly he jerks back. The silver rings on both his finger and Potter’s glows silver, and Draco curses at the invisible string that binds them together. Blaise nods. “Well. We know it works now!” He sketches a mocking bow. “If you excuse me, I have to go meet Pansy in the library. She’s busy making sure that the potion we put in your breakfast this morning won’t give you some nasty disease. It prevents you from telling anyone, by the way.” He winks at them both. “Enjoy your week!”

Without a backwards glance, Blaise struts down the hall, ignoring the angry cussing from behind him.

~

Tuesday

He’s eating his porridge when Pansy plops down next to him.

He’s exhausted, onto his third cup of coffee. He spent the whole night chatting and plotting with Pansy and he’s regretting it now.

He scowls over at Pansy, chipper as always, delicately eating a chocolate croissant. “How the hell are you so cheerful?”

Pansy shrugs. “I’m always cheerful!”

Blaise shakes his head. “You don’t get hungover. You never get tired. You can eat whatever you want and you have perfect skin.” He groans. “Screw you, Pans.”

Pansy smiles, resting her head on his shoulder. “You wish you could screw me.”

Blaise sticks his tongue out at her, and she shrugs. “How’s the Potty and the Malfoy going?”

Blaise points across the hall with his spoon. “Been arguing for half an hour.”

Pansy follows his gaze, where Potter and Draco stood fighting. Obviously Potter wanted to sit with the Gryffindors, while Draco wanted to sit with the Slytherins, and neither of them were giving in. They stand in the middle of the hall, their tense whispers filling the room.

Pansy sighs. “Why can’t they just kiss already?”

Blaise shakes his head, watching the two bicker. “I don’t know Pans,” he says. “I don’t know.”

~

Wednesday

They watch them, from behind the trees, watches the two of them walk around the grounds. They’re far enough not to hear the conversation, but close enough to see the glances, the small smiles, the way Draco’s hand brushed Potter’s face as he adjusted his glasses.

Pansy lets out a quiet squeal. “Oh my god, they are so perfect together! I ship it so much.”

Blaise nods, watching. There’s something beautiful in their movements, the two of them, the way they knew each other so well. He supposed they did, having spent 8 years in a war together, wasting so much energy on each other.

The line between hatred and love was very thin. Blaise knew that painfully well.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Draco this unguarded before, this relaxed, hasn’t seen him like this since the war had started. Potter brought out something in him, something so different to the boy Blaise used to know.

Pansy steps on his toe, making him wince. “Crap Pans. Do you have to wear the Heels of Death everywhere you go?”

Pansy flips him off. “You’d probably wear them if you could get away with it.” She pauses. “Anyways, we need a ship name for the two of them.”

Blaise shrugs. “Harco, Palfoy, Motter?”

Pansy frowns. “Nah. I’ll think of it.”

Blaise just laughs, quietly, turning back to watch the two of them. “Take your time, Pansy. Take your time.”

~

Thursday

They sit on the tower together, watching them fly.

Close, so close together, in perfect and compete unison. Their brooms pressed next to each other’s, legs almost touching, flying in huge circles and arcs across the quickly-darkening sky.

It’s beautiful, the way Draco and Harry flew, the way they were able to dance across the air.

Blaise leans back, into Pansy’s shoulders. It was slightly chilly outside, the stars bright above them. Pansy rests her head on Blaise’s, her legs bare. The Heels of Death lie on the stones, Blaise’s feet dangling over the edge of the roof.

Pansy smiles. “You know, for someone who claims not to care, you seem awfully invested in this relationship Blaise.”

Blaise shrugs. “So are you.”

“Yes, but I wasn’t the one who dragged us up here just to watch Potter and Draco fly.” Pansy winks. “Turning into a fanboy?”

Blaise scowls at her. “Oh, shut up.” Pansy smirks at him, and he exhales. “I just want him to be happy, you know? Draco, I mean.”

Pansy raises her eyebrows, Blaise’s words stumbling over one another. “It’s just…” He swallows. “The War. We were too young, all of us. Every single one of us were too young. You know. You know what Draco did, what he was forced to do. You know what they did to us. You’re maybe the only person besides Draco who truly knows what the war stole from us.”

Pansy’s eyes darkened, her face draining of blood as she nods. Blaise sighs. “He deserves to be happy. We all do.”

“Who did you lose, Blaise?” Pansy’s voice is a near-whisper. “Who did you lose?”

Blaise lets out a bitter laugh. “It was a boy. It was always a boy. A muggle. And he died.”

Pansy closes her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Blaise just swallows. There’s a pair of letters carved into the stone in front of him, dark against the stone. It’s just two initials, RL + SB, and he presses his fingers into the indents. “Shit happens. We move on.”

Pansy shakes her head. “Do we though?”

Blaise’s throat has closed up, making talking, swallowing, breathing painful. He shrugs. “It’s the best we can do.”

They sit there in silence for awhile, watching the silhouettes of two boys against the setting sun, the memories heavy in their heads. Pansy clears her throat. “Well.” Her voice is hoarse, clogged, and she coughs before giving Blaise a small smile. “I finally thought of their ship name.”

Blaise raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Pansy just brings her lips close to his ear, and Blaise can feel himself starting to grin as she whispers it.

~

Friday

He doesn’t know if he should laugh or cry.

He’s back in the hallway with Pansy, both of them with their wands out and there’s Harry and Draco, against the wall, snogging fiercely.

Blaise sighs. “God, Pansy, I wish I could bleach my goddamn eyeballs.”

The two of them jump apart, both breathing heavily, and Blaise would pay money to see the expression that passed over Harry’s face again. “What. The. Hell?”

Pansy lifts her hands, exposing her palms. “Hey. We were going to reverse the enchantment, but, um, if you’re into that sort of...ropes and things, we can keep it on…”

Draco glares at her. “Traitor.”

Pansy smiles back sweetly. “You’re welcome.”

“Merlin’s saggy left - “ Harry thrusts his hands out in front of him, blushing furiously. “Can you undo the bloody spell?”

“No,” Blaise tells him, and Harry flips him off. He sighs. “Fine. Give me your hand.”

With a suspicious look, Harry places his hand in Blaise’s. He flicks his wand, and the silver ring around his finger disappears. Pansy does the same with Draco, and before long, the two of them stand there, pissed off and angry.

Blaise gives them a small salute. “And with that, we’re off before you guys start shagging. Thank us later. Invite us to the wedding!”

Pansy winks. “And your ship name is Drarry! Just thought you wanted to know that.”

They manage to flee down the hall moments before Harry’s wand flies down and hits the wall where their heads were moments before.

[she-is-tim]

I love hating you | Elu enemies to lovers AU | Ch. 8

Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 6.5, 7

Lucas is an angry, closeted and frustrated gay teenager, while Eliott is the handsome, smart and popular guy in school. They hate each other… but not forever.

I want the best for you

Lucas was staring at his phone for probably an hour or so. He was at the flat with the boys, sitting on the couch. They were playing some video game, but he couldn’t care much. He kept checking his followers on instagram, seeing the blessed username still being there. Of course he immediately followed Eliott back, but since then there was no sign of him. He didn’t text Lucas or liked any other posts on his profile. He was still nervous, afraid that it was just a mistake and the boy could unfollow him at any second. 

When he was refreshing his follower list for like the hundredth time, Yann let out an annoyed sigh and snatched the phone from his hand. Lucas made an inhuman noise, getting the attention to the other two friends. Basile quickly paused the game. The short boy still tried to get back his phone, but his best friend had long arms and kept him back by placing his hand on Lucas’ chest. 

“No, this stays at my hands. You are being obsessed, man. What are you even looking at?” he asked, checking the phone screen and rolled his eyes. “Are you serious? He’s not gonna unfollow you.”

“Why not? Maybe it was a mistake and he will unfollow when he notices...” he started to ramble.

“Lucas, he’s trying to reach out, you shouldn’t be so worried about it.” Arthur said with a serious look, putting the controller on the coffee table. 

“But what if...”

“Lucas, just stop talking.” Basile said, surprising his friends yet once again. “You said that you like this guy, right? He’s out there, liking the post you made about him, following you on instagram and sending you drawings. What is holding you back? He is into you, I’m sure about that.” his face was serious, looking straight into his friend’s eyes, Lucas couldn’t respond to that, because he had a good point. Arthur on the other hand was smiling brightly, making him look even more handsome. 

“Baz, you really make that damned braincell work hard lately.” he said and squeezed his friend’s shoulder proudly. 

Yann smirked too, still holding Lucas’ phone in his hands, making sure that his best friend doesn’t check his instagram again. The short boy sighed with a fond smile on his face, then he got up to bring some beer from the kitchen. Not too much, since it was only wednesday, but they still can have some fun. He couldn’t remember the last time he was together with the boys like this. Just chilling home, playing video games, drinking beer and talking shit. 

Thursday went by eventless, Lucas didn’t see Eliott all day, even though they wew supposed to have literature together. He got just a tiny bit worried, but he tried to live up to what Basile said to him, But he couldn’t help himself. After school, he had to open his chat with Eliott and the chaotic idiot in his head decided to text him.

lucallemant Literature was boring today, we were talking about Rouge et Noir, did you read that one? 

He locked his phone now and put it down next to him on the couch, trying to focus his brain on the tv. Lisa was sitting not too far from him, wrapped in a blanket, staring at the screen with the dumbest face she could just make. Lucas smiled a little, he started to like her inevitable presence here, it made him feel like he wasn’t alone. He got up and walked to the kitchen, making some sandwiches, since he just noticed how hungry he was. 

When he finished eating, he walked back to the living room, hopping down next to his flatmate, who let out a disapproving groan. Lucas giggled, grabbing his phone and checking it. He almost had a heart attack when he saw Eliott’s username on the screen, unlocking it quickly and checking the message he got from him. 

srodulv Yeah, it’s a great book, you should read it too 

Lucas heart started to beat insanely fast and he wished he could have a room to run back to. He wanted to jump up and down in happiness, squealing like a baby seal and then throw himself on the bed as he types an answer. But he had to accept the little space on the couch, pulling up his legs, shaking uncontrollably. He had to start the sentence at least five times, because he kept making typos and writing stupid shit. He had to keep himself at the subject and not bringing up things between them. Eliott answered because he was talking about literature, which is one of his favorite subject in school. 

lucallemant I’m not a big reader and that book is LONG 

srodulv Books are supposed to be long

lucallemant Yeah, not my thing

srodulv You are just one grumpy hedgehog, huh? 

lucallemant I guess that’s my speciality

After that he got no response, but he still felt like he is the happiest guy on this planet. He hugged the phone to his chest, enjoying the serenity taking over his thoughts. Long minutes passed and the light buzz in his hand pulled him out of his thoughts. He was hoping it was a message from Eliott, but he felt just a little disappointment seeing the username of the sender.

sofalaoui Did you do something?  Lucas, he is fucking smiling I can’t explain how happy this makes me, but he’s smiling again 

Lucas was overwhelmed by his own feelings that these messages caused him. It was from Eliott’s best friend, who knew him better than anyone. He was saying that Eliott, the guy he was head over heels for is smiling again, after long times of being sad and depressed. He couldn’t handle this, so he just went to the bathroom, washing his face and staring at his reflection for long, agonizing minutes. 

He got startled by the knocking on the door. It was Lisa, she had to use the bathroom, so Lucas left and took his opportunity to lay on the couch. He was holding his phone to his chest, humming happily. Minutes passed when he felt buzzing, quickly checking what it was. Another text from Eliott.

srodulv So Rouge et Noir is the current book? 

lucallemant Yeah

srodulv Okay, just wanna make sure I’ll catch up on things for tomorrow

Lucas felt his heart beating in his throat, reading the text over and over again. Was this meaning that Eliott will come to school tomorrow? That they will have literature together? After such a long time. He tried to breathe through his nose, calm down his heart while he texted back.

lucallemant Good, gotta keep up that reputation of yours, right? 

srodulv Sort of 

lucallemant Tomorrow is going to be a long day

srodulv Why is that? 

lucallemant Daphné asked me and the boys to repaint that mural from hell after school

srodulv I see

Lucas didn’t know what to answer to that. He didn’t wanted to seem pushy by inviting Eliott to the common rom with them. It wasn’t easy for him to text back, so he probably doesn’t wanna rush meeting in person. And they will have literature together, so he’s going to see and be close to Eliott no matter what. At least he was hoping that it will be the case.

In the morning Lucas panicked. He was running around in the house, into the bathroom, then to the kitchen, back to the living room and repeated that circle until he bumped into a really annoyed Mika. The older boy grabbed his waist, making sure that he stops whatever he was doing and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Kitten, I’d really appreaciate if you’d stop this like right now.” he said, sounding like a disapproving parent.

“But Mika... I don’t know what to do, Eliott is going to come to school today and we’ll be having a class together and I just...”

“Okay, stop.” Mika raised his hand to stop his flatmate from rambling. “Is Eliott the guy you like? The one you had a thing with? That broke your heart?” he asked, raising his eyebrows so high they disappeared behind his dark locks.

“Yeah... also no. I mean, he didn’t break my heart... not completely...” he mumbled and looked at the ceiling now, letting out quiet curses under his breath before continuing. “I am still into him and it seems like he feels the same... we just had a conflict.” he tried to explain things without saying too much. It was burning inside him to tell people why it was difficult with Eliott, but he knew that sharing information about his mental illness wasn’t something he could just do.

“Okay, so you are so whipped for this Eliott guy that you don’t know... What to wear to school?” Mika asked, voice a bit high-pitched, a playful smirk appearing on his face and Lucas can feel the blush taking place on his cheeks.

“Well... I just... It’s not...” he mumbled and then just sighed. “Yeah, sort of.” he admitted. 

After that there was a really long and painful moment where Mika tried to pick him nice clothes that Lucas dismissed immediately. He tried to fix his hair, but the boy cut him off after he saw the hair products in his flatmate’s hand. All in all he put on navy blue jeans, a nice grey shirt and his favorite grey hoodie. He packed up black sweatpants and a shirt too, just to not ruin his outfit during the painting after school. 

He finally left the place, hearing Mika yelling stupid shit after him like “Go get him, tiger” and “Make that man yours”. Lucas felt really embarrassed and just wanted to get to school in one piece, without having a heart attack. At least his stupid flatmate helped him forget about the Eliott issue. He only remembered it again when he entered the school building and saw him. Standing by the lockers, cocky smile on his face as he talked to Alex. 

Lucas stopped by the doorway, staring at him, like he’s a unique statue on an exhibition. He could be. Considering that he looked so damn fine on this beautiful friday morning. Hair messy like always, shining in the sunlight, wearing black jeans, black shirt and a navy blue denim jacket. The sleeves were rolled up, showing off his forearms and that sweet tattoo on it. Lucas remembered how many times he traced his fingers up and down, kissing it even. 

He got so lost in his thoughts that he jumped a little when Alex yelled his name. His face felt much more warm that it should have been as he looked up from Eliott’s forearm and their eyes met. There was something in them that made Lucas’ stomach do a backflip. He couldn’t look away, especially not when that familiar, soft smile started to take place on the tall boy’s face. His heart fluttered in his chest. 

“Lucas, are you here?” he jumped yet once again when Alex snapped his fingers just inches from his face.

“What? Who... Yeah, I’m here.” he mumbled, shaking his head and looking away from Eliott, who stayed at his place thank god. “Good morning, Alex.”

“Morning.” he said with a wide smirk now. “How’s it going today?” 

“Good... yeah, I’m doing okay. What about you?” he asked, trying to play cool, not glancing over the tall, handsome boy who seemed to have fun watching him being awkward. Fuck you for being so smooth, Eliott! 

“I’m fine. You know, Eliott and I were just talking about my party tonight.” he explained.

“You’re throwing a party again?” Lucas raised his eyebrows. “But you had a party like... two or three weeks ago.” 

“What can I say? I love doing parties and my parents are always out for business.” he said smirking, shrugging it off easily. “You wanna come?” 

“I’m not sure. I have to repaint the mural in the common room with the guys. You know Daphné, she’ll kill us if we don’t do it now.” he said with an apologetic smile. He really wanted to go, especially if Eliott will be there, but he can’t choose him over his friends once again. That would be a dick move after all of their support.

“Sure, I get it.” Alex said and gently punched him on the shoulder. “Take care, little one.” he smirked and walked back to Eliott. 

Lucas let out a sigh as he watched the two boys just walking away. He pulled out his phone to check something, probably the time, but he wasn’t even sure, when a notification popped up at the top of his screen that he got a message. He clicked on it and almost had a heart attack.

srodulv You look pretty when you blush

Okay, this was not the right time to panic, but Eliott was just straight up flirting with him, shamelessly. While they were on bad therms. He didn’t know what to respond, so he just shoved his phone into his bag and walked to his class. This was making no sense. Eliott ignored him for almost a whole week, avoiding the only class they shared and now he was back with his cheesy flirts and soft smiles? How is he supposed to react to that? 

Lucas didn’t know how to feel during the day, especially not when literature class came and he had to sit next to Eliott. The boy seemed to be in a good mood, but they haven’t really talked to each other, he was actually doodling in his notebook during the whole class. It was just weird and Lucas started to have doubts. He really liked Eliott and wanted to try this relationship with him, but these sudden changes just made him confused. He was thinking that this might be because of his bipolarity, but he had to get rid of that thought. He had to shut out the negativity and just jump into this. It was something that made him happy, made him feel things he never felt before. This was the right thing. 

Lucas was mad when the boys said they will be late. He just finished his classes, walking towards the common room. It was already 15:34 and he still had to wait for that three idiots to get their shit together. He didn’t wanted to stay in school until midnight to paint a damn wall. Not like he had better things to do and he really hoped that his friends weren’t planning on ditching him. He put away his phone after texting back the boys, opening the heavy door. 

The common room looked so different, furniture moved to the sides, covered in plastic sheets, so is the floor, while the ugly ass mural was now fully visible in its terrible glory, having two spotlight on the sides of it. Lucas was glad that Daphné and the girls did the preparations and bought the paints for them, because he had no patience for that part. But he suddenly forgot everything when he saw a person, standing in front of the mural, hands shoved into his pockets. Lucas could only see his back, but he could pick out that hair from the biggest crowd anytime.

“Eliott...” he mumbled, dropping his bag on the floor. The door behind him slammed shut loudly, which startled the tall boy. He turned around and looked at Lucas with a shy smile on his face.

“Hey.” 

“What are you doing here?” he asked shocked, looking around to make sure no one else is in the room. It was just the two of them. 

“I was the one who offered to repaint the mural in the first place.” He said and shrugged. 

“That’s true... but I told you that I’ll do it with the guys.” he mumbled, talking nonsense, since his brain decided to take off the rest of the day apparently.

“Lucas, can you please notice that I’m trying my very best to have a face to face talk with you... alone.” he said, looking serious now, turning his whole body towards the short boy. Lucas had troubles breathing now, but his legs moved on their own, walking forward until it was just a few steps between them. 

“Okay then. I am here, we are alone.” he said, looking into the stormy eyes, feeling everything at once. Attraction, nervousness, fear, excitement, happiness, sadness. It was overwhelming, but he could handle it, if Eliott was there by his side.

“I think you should tell your friends to not come.” Eliott suggested with a little smile on his face. “If you really want us to have alone time...” 

Lucas just nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket and opening the chat with the boys. He felt a bit bad that he’s ditching them once again, but this was important for him and Eliott. They had to talk and if it had to happen in the common room while painting a fucking wall, then so be it. 

Lucas Guys, I’m so sorry, but can you not come to the common room today? 

Arthur What’s wrong? We’ll be there, just late.

Yann  Yeah, don’t be so upset, Lulu

Basile I have great ideas

Lucas It’s not that... Eliott is here and i wanna be alone with him 

Arthur Woah, that was unexpected

Yann I don’t like this... 

Lucas It’s gonna be fine, and he was the one who offered Daphné to repaint this shit anyways, so...

Basile But I wanted to impress Daphné...

Yann We’ll go somewhere to drink You do you and smooth things out with that guy, Lulu

Arthur Good luck

Lucas sighed and put away his phone, looking at Eliott, who was now looking through the buckets of paints, checking all the colors. He opened the white ones, also grabbing a paint roller. The boy had to smile seeing his determined expression. He really wanted to make something out of this mural. 

“I told the guys.” he said which got the other’s attention quickly, glancing at Lucas over his shoulder. 

“Good, help me with this then.” he said and nodded his head towards the supplies. “Grab a roller, we’ll be painting it white first, making a clean canvas.” 

“Sure thing.” he said and did exactly what Eliott asked him to. 

They both had a bucket of white paint, starting to cover up the mural with it. None of them said a word during the process, but it felt alright. Lucas was sure that this was just to make both of them relaxed and comfortable before starting the real conversation. He hoped that the tall boy will soon open up to him, telling him whatever he feels about him... about whatever is going on between them. 

“You failed there.” he heard suddely, being startled by the closeness of the voice. Eliott was stading right next to him, pointing to a little spot where the mural was still visible under the paint.

“That wasn’t on purpose.” he mumbled, feeling dizzy now that this handsome, tall boy was being so close. 

“I can’t let you fail like that on me.” 

“I am not failing on you. Have some trust in me.” he said a bit angrily, looking at the boy, who now had a huge, blinding smile on his face. Lucas let out a relieved sigh. “You are beautiful when you smile.” he mumbled, surprising both Eliott and himself. 

“Say that again.” the tall boy demanded, leaning close to him. Lucas blushed heavily, turning his head away, staring at the almost fully covered mural. He made a squeaky noise when Eliott slid an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “I missed you.” he whispered, resting his chin on the boy’s shoulder now. Lucas shivered and turned back to face Eliott, their lips were almost touching like that. He looked into the stormy grey eyes, letting out a soft sigh which made the tall one smile softly.

“I missed you too, Eliott.” he mumbled, letting the paint roller slip out of his hand, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck. 

“I think we have things to talk about.” he kept whispering, leaning his forehead to Lucas’. “I said... mean things to you.”

“Yeah, but so did I.” he admitted and closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. “I hit you... I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“I kinda deserved it...”

“No, you didn’t.” Lucas shook his head and slid his hands on Eliott’s face, cupping it gently. “All of this was my fault, I kissed you in public, not the other way around.” he said and sighed. 

“I should have told you about my bipolarity sooner.” 

“Listen here... Having a mental illness is something people can’t just talk about casualy. I understand why you were hesitating with it.” Lucas smiled, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “You know... my mother is ill too.” he said suddenly, feeling like he had to get this rock off his chest, be honest with this guy in front of him. 

“What?” Eliott asked a bit shocked, leaning back a little so he could study the boy’s face. 

“She thinks that the apocalypse is coming, that Jesus and God are talking through her to save our soul.” he started, looking into the other’s eyes. “She is going to therapies and doing well, but sometimes she snaps. I don’t see her often, because... we had a hard time in my family. My father left us last year, cause he couldn’t handle her outbursts, then my mom’s condition got worse, I had to skip school to stay home with her, but I was just so useless... The only thing my father did for her was to hire a nurse and pay for her therapy. I was really sad and upset those days, Mika found me in front of a gay bar, totally wasted. He took me to his place and let me stay in their basement for a few weeks. When Manon found out about me, she was already packing up to London, so she let me take her room.” he finished his story with a deep sigh, leaning his forehead on Eliott’s chest. He couldn’t say anymore, this was already too much at once. His fucked up family could be enough reason for the boy to leave him right now, before things go further. 

“Okay...” Eliott sighed and wrapped both of his arms around Lucas now, pulling him as close as possible, burying his face into the soft hair. “Thank you for telling me all that.” he said softly. “I guess it’s my turn to share my dark backstory now.” his tone was a bit playful which made Lucas smile. He looked up at Eliott with that blissed expression on his face that was basically too seductive for the tall boy. He had to breathe in and then out, holding himself back from kissing this beautiful person in his arms. 

“You don’t have to.” Lucas said softly. “I can wait.”

“I really don’t think I deserve you, Lucas.” he sighed now, touching their foreheads again. “I’ve been through so much shit in my life... especially after I got diagnosed... And here you are, looking at me like that... making me harder to not kiss you.”

“Why can’t you kiss me?” he pouted, looking like a sweet hedgehog now who didn’t get his afternoon cuddles. Eliott chuckled. 

“Because we have a wall to paint.” he started, nodding towards the almost completely white wall. “And serious things to talk about.” he said, cupping the boy’s face now. “If I kiss you, we wouldn’t be talking, just making out and I will be fine with it... but there’s things I have to tell you.” 

“We will have time to talk...”

“No, Lucas.” he sighed and let him go now, taking a few steps back. He needed to keep distance, otherwise he would do something he doesn’t want to, just yet. 

“It’s okay, I am not scared.” the boy said seriously.

“You should be.” Eliott said now, looking at him dead in the eye. “There will be times when I won’t be nice, Lucas. When I don’t want you around. I will yell, send you away, slam doors at you... I will hurt you and I don’t think I could survive that. I want the best for you, but that is not me.” his voice cracked at the end, eyes filling with tears. He couldn’t look at the short boy in front of him, he just couldn’t do it. He had to say this to make things clear. He had to break things for good. 

“Okay, that is a bullshit.” Lucas said angrily, putting his hands on his hips. Eliott’s head shot up, looking at him in disbelief.

“Say what?” 

“I said that is a total bullshit. You can’t tell me what is good or bad for me. This is my life, Eliott. If I wanna jump into a relationship with a guy who has bipolar disorder, then so be it. You can’t stop me, because I know you want it to. So cut the bullshit.” he said with a serious and determined look on his face. 

Eliott was just staring at him for a few minutes before a huge smile spread on his face. He took that few steps towards Lucas, scooping him up into his arms into a bone-crashing hug. The short boy laughed happily, hugging him back immediately. They looked into each other’s eyes and not knowing who made the first move, they were kissing. Wildly, passionately, trying to catch up on all those missed out days they weren’t together. Eliott let Lucas down, leaning after him, not letting go of his lips for one second. He held his waist, keeping him close and enjoying this sweet moment. 

Lucas was incredibly happy, feeling the butterflies flutter in his stomach as he wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck. Their lips were making sloppy and slurping noises. After some time they got a bit dizzy and the tall boy tried to find themselves a solid place to sit down to, but he stumbled into a bucket of red paint, causing him and Lucas to fall, right into the paint. They looked at each other shocked first and then started laughing. Lucas dipped his hand into the bucket and wiped it into Eliott’s shirt. The older boy didn’t let this unanswered, he pulled closer a bucket of blue paint and sprinkled Lucas’ shirt with it. They continued this until their clothes were completely covered in paint, just like their hands, but then Eliott grabbed the short boy’s face, pulling him into a demanding kiss. 

Hours later they were standing in front of the repainted mural, looking like they were swimming in a pool of paint. Following Eliott’s suggestion, they tried to do some Jackson Pollock-looking galaxy out of it. The base was blue, pink and purple mixed together quite well, then above that just while, yellow and light blue sprinkled stains. Lucas was actually proud of their work, ignoring the fact that they totally ruined their clothes and wasted way too many paint in the process. Daphné will understand for sure. 

The dried paint on their face, their clothes and in their hair started to feel uncomfortable, but it was kind of embarrassing to leave the room like this. They could still hear some students walking and talking on the hallway. It wouldn’t be hard to make an excuse, but since both of their mouth were a shade of purple mixed from blue and red paint, that couldn’t be explained easily. Lucas glanced at Eliott, who was staring at their work with a satisfied expression on his face.

“We should take a shower.” Lucas said which catched Eliott’s attention. The tall boy looked at him, raising his eyebrows playfully, which made Lucas blush. Thankfully it wasn’t visible with all that paint covering his cheeks. “To get rid of the paint.” he said, trying to sound serious. “I’m pretty sure it’s not good for our skin to have this much paint on it.”

“It might not be healthy, but you look damn hot like this.” he said smirking, while Lucas rolled his eyes. 

“Sure, yeah.” he said clearly unimpressed and walked to his backpack now. He heard the steps behind him on the plastic sheet. Good thing Daphné covered the whole floor, because there was a lot of paint everywhere. 

“How about you get your attention back on me, huh?” Eliott said, sounding like a stubborn child. Lucas shot him a disapproving look over his shoulder before he continued searching in his bag. 

“I have clothes to change to. What about you?” he asked now that he found his jeans and clean shirt. 

“All i have is you, right here, showing that fine butt of yours to me, which is quite impressive, I gotta say.” Eliott replied which made the short boy to turn around and gave him the look, again. 

“Eliott Demaury, stop with the flirting. We gotta wash off the paint.” he said seriously, but a little smile was playing on his lips. He couldn’t be mad at this gorgeous person who made him so damn happy today. 

“Okay then.” he gave up, raising his hands now with a cheeky smile. “Let’s go.”

Lucas woke up feeling all sorts of pain in his body. His head felt dizzy, like he was drinking last night, which he was sure he didn’t do. He opened his eyes and turned to his side, but was shocked that he was alone in his “bed”. He sat up so quickly the rom started to spin with him a little. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and looking around. He was in the living room, on the pulled out couch, half naked under the blanket, arms still stained with paint, but Eliott was nowhere to be found. 

He felt waves of feelings washing over him, his eyes filling with tears. He thought that all of yesterday was just Eliott’s way to say goodbye and let him go. That their relationship ended even before it could start. He almost started crying when the tall boy appeared in the living room with two plates in his hands, wearing nothing but a boxer and Lucas’ grey hoodie, unzipped. He smiled brightly until he noticed that something was wrong. He quickly walked to the boy, putting down the plates to the coffee table, cupping Lucas’ face and forcing him to look at him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked worryingly, caressing his soft skin with his thumbs. Lucas could still smell the paint on his hands and it calmed him down.

“Nothing, I’m sorry.” he mumbled, sobbing a little. “I was just...” he looked at the bed and back at Eliott. The older boy chuckled and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

“Oh my. You thought I left?” he asked with a gentle smile on his face. “I would never leave you, not after what happened yesterday.” he said, leaning forward to knock his forehead on Lucas’ like he always did. The boy smiled now, eyes still a bit red. 

“I know, I was just...”

“I gave you good reasons not to trust me, I know.” he sighed.

“No, it’s not that... It’s just so hard to believe that we are... together.” he mumbled, not really sure if that’s the right therm to use, but it made Eliott’s smile brighter, so he was happy with it. 

“Yes, we are together for sure.” he said and kissed the boy deeply, passionately. 

“Looks like someone found their prince charming on this fine saturday morning.” Mika interrupted them, leaning to the wall that was separating the living room from the hall, having a big smile on his face. Lucas broke the kiss which made Eliott make a cute whining sound and looked at his flatmate over the boy’s shoulder. 

“How nice of you to giving us some privacy.” Lucas said with as much sarcasm as he just could so early in the morning. 

“Grumpy kitten must have a little morning tent in his underpants that has to be handled, huh?” Mika shot back with a wide smirk that made Eliott giggle. Lucas gave him a disapproval look before glancing back to his flatmate. “Just leave, please.” 

Mika just chuckled and waved as he walked into his room, victoriously. Lucas sighed, deeply and looked at the boy in front of him. He had stains of paint on his face too, but he was still that perfect guy he fell for. His hands cupped Eliott’s cheeks before he kissed him slowly, passionately. The tall boy didn’t hesitato to open his mouth and let Lucas deepend the kiss, playing with his tongue. His long fingers wandered into the boy’s long, soft hair, grabbing it just a little to pull him back, getting a little moan out of him as he kept kissing him, a bit more wildly than before. 

They pulled back after long minutes, lips swollen, eyes fully on each other, smiling like idiots. Lucas stroked Eliott’s neck softly, tracing around the stains of paint on his skin. The older boy enjoyed this, but then looked at the plates on the coffee table.

“We should eat it before it gets cold.” he said softly, letting go of the lovely boy, grabbing the plates and giving one to Lucas. 

The boy accepted it, making himself comfortable on the bed and also scooting to the side, giving space for Eliott to sit next to him. It was relaxing to just have a quiet breakfast on his damned couch with the most handsome guy he had ever seen. Who was now apparently his boyfriend too. 

Monday morning came like a lightning bolt. Lucas and Eliott spent the weekend at the flatshare, annoying the hell out of Mika and Lisa, while Manon usually just smiled at them like a proud mother. Of course Eliott had to announce their relationship to the whole world by posting on instagram, first by putting a video in his story where he filmed Lucas playing a video game with Mika. Then Lucas decided to fuck it and took a picture of Eliott laying on the couch, wearing Lucas’ clothes, putting it to his story with bubbling heart gifs around. He was so stupidly in love that he did that. Then Eliott asked him to take a selfie together, and Lucas had nothing against that, so now every single follower of Eliott knew that they are a couple. And to be honest, Lucas felt proud and happy. 

I hope you guys liked this one, I felt like this is a good way to finish it for now and pack some more fluff to the next chapter. Make sure to tell me your opinions on this. And the insta post is just a little extra, I’m not gonna put insta posts in the chapters of course, but this is just a soft way to end the chapter. 

[imaginesmai]

Hvitserk Crush (AU) 2

So, here is the second part! I hope you like it! I’m so in love with this idea I might make something more. Not another part, just some one shot with this Hvitserk as the protagonist. What do you think?

Plot: Hvitserk is like a disney prince; funny, beautiful, kind... But you are not sure you are his princess.

Life with Hvitserk turned out to be perfect. You still lived with Ubbe, but you spent more time at Hvitserk’s apartment than at your own. Working in the bar kept you from being with him as much as you would want to and, even if at first you thought it would be a problem, Hvitserk was fully supportive and went to visit you whenever he could. Torvi and Ubbe were getting a little tired of your fuck-wherever-we-can way of life; if you thought they were bad before, now you were ten time worse. But not everything was a fairy tale and, although he didn’t do any wrong, a little fact was keeping you awake at nights.

-          It’s been nearly half a year, Torvi. -you complained to her. Both of you were laying in the sofa while Ubbe was trying to finish a university project with Alfred, a guy form his class.

-          He should have said something, I know. -Torvi agreed. -Maybe he is just waiting for the perfect time?

-          At this rate I will have his children first.

-          Can I say something? -Ubbe tried. He had been banned from the conversation you were having when he suggested you were overreacting. Alfred had to tuck under the desk to avoid your flying shoe.

-          No. -Torvi said.

-          You should just make out, I feel already out of this relationship. -Ubbe whispered.

-          I heard you Ubbe. -you said. -Anyway, how do I make him ask me?

-          Making him jealous. -Torvi looked at you in the eye, leaning forwards. -You hear me, you go to the tattoo salon, get the other guy, Magnus, to-

-          Are you hearing yourselves? -Ubbe scoffed, turning towards the sofa. -That’s my brother you are talking about.

-          Babe, you don’t understand. -Torvi smiled sweetly at her boyfriend. How you wished to have a partner like her. -It’s a severe situation. Level eight from ten probably.

-          An eight-what? What are you talking about? Alfred, help me.

-          I don’t know, man. -he laughed. -We gays don’t have that problem.

The problem wouldn’t be half as bad if you weren’t the paranoid shit you were. It all started two months ago, when you met Thora, a friend of Hvitserk. She was beautiful, cute and nice, you just couldn’t hate her. You were with Torvi when he introduced her to you. He told her, literally, “this is Y/N, my friend”. Friends. You looked at Torvi with wide eyes, but he didn’t notice it. Sure, he kissed you in front of her, he hold you hand that night and even sat you in his lap. Yet you couldn’t help but wonder if, for him, whatever you had was just an open relationship, a fuckbuddy one, or you were just spending time with each other.

-          Just ask him yourself. -Ubbe said before asking Alfred something about the world war. -He isn’t doing it on purpose. Just thinks you guys are already a couple, without labels.

-          That’s not how it works, Ubbe. -you said, plopping your head down. -I need to see that he wants me to be his girlfriend. That way I can know that he is mine and not fucking any other girl.

-          He is not- -Ubbe started but decided against it after a second. It was pointless.

You kept talking with Torvi for a while, and the boys eventually left. That night you were going out with Hvitserk again. Working until late was not cool, but he said he would pick you up at ten and have dinner with you in your break. Little things like that made you think that you were the luckiest woman alive, and sometimes they made you feel bad about thinking of him cheating of you. He was just too good to be true.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That day’s shift had been horrible. There was a football game or something like that on the TV, so a lot of people came to the bar to see it. One of your co-workers had taken the day off for personal businesses, and the other one was stuck in the kitchen as a cook was missing for some unknown reason. That left you with the new boy, a tall and thin guy who was not older than eighteen years. You didn’t want him to get scared and run away on his first day, so you decided to attend groups while he just took the normal ones. Halfdan wasn’t helping much either; he just sat with a group of his friends and saw the match without helping any of you.

-          Halfdan? -you asked, getting closer to his desk. It was already half past ten, and you could see Hvitserk’s bike outside. -It’s my break time.

-          What? -he asked you over the loud people.

-          I told you when I arrived that I was going to take my break at ten. I’m going out, and someone needs to cover me. -you repeated.

-          Girl, you can’t go now. -he laughed. -There is a lot of people here.

-          But I need a break. -you whispered. You were tired and just wanted to hug Hvitserk.

-          I don’t care girl! If you don’t do you work, you are out.

-          Maybe you can cover me for a while? -you said, already feeling the tears in your eyes. Normally you weren’t that weak, but it was late, you had a shitty day and you were beyond tired.

-          What the fuck did you just say? -Halfdan got angry, and you knew you had screwed up. -Don’t fucking disrespect me, Y/N. I’m your boss.

-          But-

-          You are staying until this place close. -your eyes widened; your shift was supposed to end at twelve today. -And pray that I pay you all the hours. Fucking teenagers, you don’t know that respect is.

You stood there while you caught your breath before turning around. Halfdan was always harsh towards his employees. Once he made your co-worker Lizzie stay after she puked and fainted because of her pregnancy. So you kind of understood that you feeling sad and tired wasn’t at his top priorities. However luck smiled at you when the new guy, Rick you thought was his name, offered you to leave for a few minutes. Halfdan was too busy with the game to notice it, and he could manage the whole bar for ten minutes. The tears you had fought so hard to contain almost spilled out of gratefulness. You kept them at bay and took your coat, walking towards the exit. Hvitserk was sitting in his motorbike, with a lollypop hanging lazily from his gorgeous lips. He was checking something in his phone, and you felt bad that he had waited for so long just to see you.

-          Hey. -he looked up at your voice, and you smiled sweetly at him. -I’m sorry, there is a lot of people and I couldn’t get out earlier.

-          Hey beautiful. -Hvitserk said, putting you between his legs. -Doesn’t matter, now you are with me. There is this-

-          Yeah, about that. -his face fell and his eyes saddened like a kicked puppy. It was not the first time you had to cancel plans with him. -Loonies’ is full, and Halfdan wants me to work until it’s closed.

-          Again? -he scoffed. -Come one, you closed last Wednesday too!

-          I know. -you sighed. He had every right to be angry about it. -Maybe we can have lunch tomorrow?

-          And then you will tell me that you have to finish something at university. -Hvitserk answered. -Or that you are tired and you prefer to stay home.

-          I can’t help that my boss is an ass Hvitty!

-          Just tell him you are feeling ill Y/N. Or that you have an important event.

-          You think I didn’t try that already?

-          I haven’t seen you since weekend. -he said, looking at the ground.

In the six months you had been together, you discovered that Hvitserk was what you could call a touch-starved boy. You learned that, in his house, all his brothers had important jobs or an amazing quality. Bjorn was his father’s favourite, and even if he was in the illegal businesses, they had always been together. Ubbe was the smart one, the only brother who had gone to the university and probably be married and with children when he finish it. Sigurd was pretty famous in the music industry, he had a lot of friends, lovers and fans. And Ivar was a mommy’s boy; his mother only paid attention to him, which left Hvitserk alone most of the time. He was raised without hugs or kisses, just with the fights between brothers and the feeling of being the forgotten one. So you understood that he needed all type of love and affection he could get.

-          I’m sorry. -you told him, meaning that there wasn’t any chance of being together that night.

-          Do you want to take a walk? -he tried again after a silence.

-          I shouldn’t have come, Hvitty. Ryan is making me a favour and he’s covering me now, but I have to go back.

-          Okay. -he said. -I’ll…be at the studio. Call me or Ubbe when you are over.

You pushed yourself up in your toes and kissed his lips softly. It was obvious that he was angry, or disappointed, yet he didn’t deny you the kiss and moved his lips against yours. When you pulled back, he followed your mouth a few inches, not wanting to let go so soon. He sighed once again and, after one last hug, he put his helmet on and left without saying a word.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you didn’t know what you had before, after Wednesday night you didn’t know if you were even together anymore. When you finished your shift that night, you called Hvitserk a few times before deciding to try with his brother. Ubbe took you home, and next day your “boyfriend” told you that he was busy with a new design of a tattoo. He didn’t pick you up from university, neither saw or called you in the evening. You were getting worried on Friday morning, not because something could have happened but because he might have cut off whatever you had.

-          It has been a lot of time since we made a movie night. -Ubbe said, helping you to clean up after eating. -Do you have something to do tonight?

-          Not really. You are not going out with Torvi?

-          Nah, she has night shift.

Torvi was a doctor already. While it was nice because she had whole days off, she could be working nonstop for a week.

-          What do you suggest? -you asked. Hvitserk hadn’t told you anything about going out, and Halfdan surprisingly decided to give you a free weekend. -I’m not seeing the Notebook again.

-          First, it’s a wonderful movie who is worthy of all the time we see it. -Ubbe laughed. -And second, no, I was thinking about letting you choose today.

-          Oh god. -you faked surprise. -You are so generous. Are you okay? Are you really going to let me choose?

-          Depends of what, but yeah, I feel generous. -he smiled.

Afternoon passed quickly. You were locked in your room all the time, trying to finish some works and studying for finals. It wasn’t easy to concentrate with your mobile phone in your desk, but you didn’t put it away. A few hours ago you sent Hvitserk a message asking about how he was; he ignored it, just like the five you sent before that one. You were waiting for the green light in your phone to appear, a signal that you had a new message, but you only got a notification from new follower and an email from your teacher. When night came, you decided to turn off your phone to end the suffering and went to the living room. Ubbe was already there, in his goat printed pyjamas and with two bowls full of popcorn.

-          I have to ask, has Torvi seen that? -you said, sitting in the couch and wrapping yourself in a blanket.

-          Of course not. We may have been dating for a long time, but this is the line. -Ubbe put on the TV and searched for Netflix.

-          Then why do you have it? Why do I deserve this punishment?

-          It’s comfy, that’s why. I have taken out of the washing machine your old panties. They look like a granny’s one. -he laughed.

-          I guess we are even. What are you looking for? I thought it was my time to choose.

-          Just wait a second Y/N. -he kept scrolling until your favourite movie was on the screen. -I’m going to press start, I don’t want to hear any excited shouts, you can’t touch me and if you throw something at me because I talk, the film is over.

You knew that Ubbe wasn’t a big fan of action movies, so it was a big surprise when Mad Max came into view. He was being extra nice with you that day, and even if he warned you about over exciting about Tom Hardy, he was making a great effort with you, and you were grateful of that. The film started but you couldn’t concentrate on it. Hvitserk sad face was the only thing that filled your head, and fact that you didn’t know if you were dating before the fight made it worse. What if you lost him? What if he was with other girl in that moment, calling her beautiful and fucking her in his office? The TV switching off caught your attention, and you realised that Ubbe was facing you with a worried look.

-          You didn’t even look at the screen, Y/N. What’s the matter?

-          Nothing. -you sniffled, not noticing the dry silent tears in your cheeks. -Put that back, I was-

-          Is it because of my brother? -Ubbe was met with silence. -Look, I might not be as good in giving advice as Torvi, but I’m his brother. I know him better than what you think. What’s wrong?

-          We…kind of had our first fight on Wednesday. We were going out, and it had been a lot of days without seeing each other. But Halfdan made me work until late, so he came to the bar for nothing and got angry because we don’t have time to meet.

-          He understands that your work is a shit. -Ubbe told you. -Hvitserk is just sad that he can’t see you as much as he wants, not angry.

-          Then why hasn’t he called me since Wednesday? -you didn’t want to cry in front of him. -He could have called me or something. I’m not his girlfriend Ubbe, so he doesn’t have to be loyal. Hvitserk could be with another girl.

-          Look, my brother is complicated. -Ubbe cleaned your cheeks with his thumbs. -He really likes you, and I dare to say that he loves you too. Margarethe really hurt him, so he just needs you to make the first step.

-          Now he doesn’t talk to me. -you moved so that you were hugging Ubbe with the blanket long forgotten in the floor. -How am I supposed to do that?

-          Tomorrow is Saturday, and he opens the tattoo shop. Go and talk to him, I’m sure it’s all a misunderstanding. And I like you as my sister in law, so I can kick his ass if it doesn’t go well.

You were grateful for having a friend like Ubbe. He might have horrendous pyjamas, talk too loudly and have an annoying cleaning obsession, but he was with you at your worst, and that was important. The TV was kept off and you two talked about everything, from your problem with Hvitserk to his relationship with Torvi. Ubbe told you that, even if it seemed perfect, it was far from it. Torvi dated his older brother for a while, she was older than your roommate, so he had a hard time asking her out. The first five times she said no, but he was persistent and ended up dating the beautiful doctor. She had rough shifts, handsome partners and a mature mind, and Ubbe fought hard for her. It was normal for couples to have fights, he told you, and you went to bed that night calmer than before.

Next morning you woke up earlier than ever, had coffee and by the time the tattoo shop was going to open you were there. It was a little disappointing that Hvitserk wasn’t there the first one, it was Magnus who was in charge that morning. You supposed he was asleep in his bedroom, but the fear of facing him with someone else didn’t let you check it. Magnus was a nice guy, a little strange and over excited. You had met him on a few occasions, and even if he knew you, it was awkward staying there without saying or doing nothing.

-          Are you…waiting for Hvitserk? -he asked from behind the counter.

-          Why would I be waiting for him? -you didn’t know why you said that, just not wanting to seem desperate for him.

-          I don’t know why would you be here otherwise.

-          Maybe I just wanted to hang out here for a while. -you answered as a girl walked through the door.

-          It’s a tattoo studio, Y/N. -Magnus gave you a weird look. -Are you getting a tattoo?

-          Yes.

As soon as the words left your mouth, you regretted them. You didn’t like tattoos. Well, Hvitserk ones yes, but not the process of getting one. Magnus looked at you with surprise and apologised. He told you that, after he was done with the girl, you could have your turn. Didn’t people wait months to get a tattoo? It seemed that luck was avoiding you that week. The girl was not old enough to get a tattoo for sure, she had this face where you could see that she still was in high school. Magnus didn’t care, however; he asked her about the money and, when she paid him, got into the black seat. You decided to wait inside of Hvitserk office; you had been there before while he was working, so he decided to give you an extra key for you to wait inside.

It was dark and surprisingly clean, so you rose the blinds and sat in his armchair. In his desk you could see a lot of papers, bills, a notebook with the reservations and some draws of new tattoos. He had the habit of drawing things in the strangest places. There was a beautiful dragon painted in a napkin of the restaurant you went two months ago, and he had drawn a pair of hands in a corner of one of your university papers. You smiled when you saw between all of that a photo of the two of you in the park. It was in summer, when you went with all of his brothers to have a picnic. Hvitserk was hugging you with one arm while with the other he held the camera, smiling, and you were laughing with your eyes closed trying to get away. When you put that back, you noticed a new draw, and your mouth hang open from the surprise. It was a beautiful rose, with a lot of details and with the word luck entwined with its steam.

-          Y/N? -Magnus knocked the door. -The girl is gone. Are you ready?

-          For what? -you asked, your eyes not leaving the beautiful draw.

-          The tattoo. -Magnus said. -Oh, I see.

-          What?

-          I didn’t know that one was for you. -Magnus answered, talking about the one in your hand. -Hvitserk has been working on it for two days.

-          Two days? That’s- but I mean, it’s not for- Magnus cut you.

-          Come on, I already have everything ready.

You doubted for a second before following him. It was a madness, you were going to get tattooed when you just wanted to fix things, and you were going to use a draw that was probably for another person. A girl, you thought. Magnus was sitting in his chair, waiting for you to tell him where did you wanted it. After thinking, you pointed to your forearm and he put some sticky substance in it.

-          Do you like it? -he asked once he draw it in your arm. It wasn’t the final result, just a pen drawing of it in your forearm. You kept looking at it for a while before nodding. -Good. Sit down and wait till I get the pistol ready.

-          Pistol? -you said, not moving. -What the fuck is a pistol?

-          It’s the thing I use to make tattoos Y/N. -he sighed, not feeling like being patience anymore.

-          But it’s going to hurt? -you asked.

-          Probably. Is your first tattoo. You will feel like a million of bee stings, that’s all.

-          That’s all? -you were panicking.

-          It’s not a big deal.

-          It is! You can’t just tell someone that is going to hurt, you are supposed to calm me!

-          Do you even want the tattoo? -Magnus looked at you annoyed.

-          I don’t know-

-          Y/N? -Hvitserk voice came from behind you.

-          Yes. -you said without looking back. -Yes, I want it.

Hvitserk appeared in your sight by the right. He was wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a white v-line t-shirt. His hair was messy and his eyes sleepy. You had to prevent yourself from drooling.

-          What are you doing here? And what do you want? -he asked.

-          She is here for the tattoo. -Magnus said, trying to make you sit down on the chair.

-          Are you…getting a tattoo? -Hvitserk asked, feeling a little offended that you had come without calling him and that Magnus was the one doing it.

-          I saw this in your desk. -you said, sitting in the chair and handing him the draw.

-          This one is already requested. -he smiled although you didn’t see it. You knew it, there was another girl. Your words were cut by the sound of the tattoo pistol, suddenly too close to you.

-          Can you just stay the fuck still? -Magnus asked angry.

-          Magnus. -Hvitserk took his arm out of you a little too roughly. -Go somewhere else, I can do this.

-          But you have an appointment in-

-          You handle that. -Hvitserk said, sitting where Magnus was before.

Magnus said something under his breath before leaving towards the counter. Hvitserk took the drawing again and let it rest in the desk beside him. With care, he put your arm out and redid the drawing in your arm. You stayed in silence until he switched on again the pistol.

-          Are you sure? -he asked, trying to calm you down caressing your tight.

-          Yeah. If whoever was getting it is okay with it. -you answered, not looking at his eyes.

-          Won’t care.

It did hurt, but you felt proud of yourself for not letting any tear drop. Hvitserk’s hands were careful and slow, and you watched his face closely while he did it. He had his brown frowned in a cute way, his eyes fixed on the tattoo, the veins on his arms showing because of the effort and his mouth hanging open. You wanted to stop and to kiss the hell out of him, but the little stings in your forearm kept you from that. After half an hour the design was over, and you had a perfect rose tattooed in your arm.

-          It’s beautiful. -you said.

-          I know. It was…Well, I was going to make it to myself. -he laughed, scratching his neck.

-          What? -you looked at him. -It’s not for the girl?

-          What girl? -in that moment, Hvitserk seemed to understand it. -Y/N! I would never cheat on you.

-          It wouldn’t be cheating actually. -you whispered. -I mean, we are not a couple yet, we are just friends.

-          No, you are my girl. -he told you. -My beautiful and amazing girl.

-          You didn’t ask me. -you said, a smile forming in your face.

-          I didn’t think it was necessary. -he sat with you in the black seat, taking your hand in his. -The tattoo… I was thinking of you as I made it. I just, you are most important thing in my life, my luck. Life has not been to kind for me, but with you I have it all. I’m sorry if you thought you I was with another girl. I just want you, beautiful.

-          I’m sorry too. I know I work too much and- what the hell is that on your cheek? -because of the way you were sitting, you could see a purple bruise fading from his cheek, and after looking closely, you found a little bump in his forehead.

Hvitserk laughed and told you about what he had been doing that two days. Apart from designing that beautiful tattoo, he went to your bar in Tuesday morning to talk to your boss. He was angry that you didn’t get free days or enough breaks and ended up with a black eye because he sassed him out. Hvitserk didn’t want you to get angry with him, even if he did get you a free day, so he decided to hide until the bruises healed.

-          You are an idiot. -you smiled, putting your hand in his face and turning it to kiss him.

-          I know. -he took you by the hips and, with care of the tattoo, moved you into his lap. -And you are my beautiful tattooed girlfriend. As your tattoo artist, I recommend you to take care of that thing. So you should probably be as close to me as you can.

-          You don’t think I’m capable of curing it myself? -you laughed.

-          Who is going to kiss it better if you live in your apartment? -you were going to argue but Hvitserk shut you with a kiss. -Listen, we can both live here, we already are. So just move your things here. You don’t have to pay me, and you can quit your shitty job.

-          I can’t live for free, Hvitty.

-          Then be my sexy secretary.

Living with Hvitserk sounded good, better than good. And leaving your job even better. You giggled and kissed him again, not getting tired of his lips. After a while, it was a full make out session, his hands in your ass and yours tugging his hair. You heard Magnus complaining from the other part of the tattoo shop, but you didn’t care. You had your boyfriend between your arms (and legs), a new life ahead of you and a wonderful tattoo in your arm. Yeah, you did have a big crush on the tattoo artist.

Tags:

@supernaturalvikingwhore

[otdderamin]

Transcript: Wednesday Club Ep19: Love is Love

Looking for some good Queer content? The best Wednesday Club was Episode 19: Love is Love! with Marc Andreyko. They talked about the Love is Love anthology made in memory of the Pulse shooting and talked about the history of queer representation in comics.

This is also the episode where Taliesin and Amy came out as bi. It was so soft and empathetic and empowering the whole way through that I think it gave them a push of confidence to say it.

Interesting history, they pulled this VOD after this aired and edited out that coming out. I suspect someone felt they got caught up in the moment and weren't actually sure they did want that out there. But word spread anyway and a few weeks later it was quietly restored.

The only depressing thing about this episode is how hopeful they were for the future and how much everything's gone to shit in the two years since it came out.

Official Twitch VOD, Bootlegged YouTube VOD

 If you can handle the sorrow, I really can't recommend "Love is Love" enough. It's one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. A lot of it is heartbreaking, but there are also a lot of uplifting pieces about pride and joy and love, and those were so special.

 This episode is so fascinating because there's are dozens and dozens of little ways Taliesin's subtext was "I'm queer," but it was such a surprise for that subtext to be text at the end. I think it's greatly affected how I read his queer coding in acting.

Reading Taliesin himself in this episode of Wednesday Club is a major reason why I feel somewhat confident in my analysis about the queer subtext he shows in Caduceus (and Percy). He's very deliberate about his subtext, I think the joke is always that it's genuine.

"Well, those are then the Schrodinger's representations which are 'Are they? Aren't they? We're not going to say.' [Stage whisper] But they are."

I think about this quote all the time. What he says sideways is deliberate, and something he personally delights in reading into. This is, after all, him playing out people in the way he would interact, not really for other people. We don't ask straight people to tell us they're straight, they just show it and we all assume it's true. I strongly suspect that's a freedom Taliesin looks for in queer portrayal.

One of the dynamics going on here that's SO INTERESTING is how apparent the age gap is between Marc and Taliesin and Amy. I don't know Amy's age, but I'd guess she's a decade younger. Marc and Taliesin are so much more okay with clunky, subtext, and or tragic representation.

Partly this is just a difference of Taliesin liking sad stories & Amy liking happy ones, but the difference is so much more magnified in this episode. Her standards for what makes good representation are noticeably higher, I'd guess partly because she grew up in a better world.

 One of the books they mentioned is "My Brother's Husband" by Gengoroh Tagame. there are two volumes and it's such an outstandingly soft story. One of the best comics I've ever read. Yaichi and his daughter Kana get a visit from Mike, his brother's husband, after his brother died. It's about Yaichi trying to get over his homophobia and teach Kana to be a better, more accepting person than he was. Kana just accepts Mike straight away and thinks he's amazing.

 Here is a selection of comic picks from the episode (by no means all of them). Here's Amy's crowdsourced queer comics recommendation thread, which is full of excellent reads, some of which they talked about.

 4:45 Marc: "I'm glad [the Pulse shooter] is dead because he did a horrible, unforgivable thing, but part of me wishes someone had been there to give him a hug, you know?"

[I've been thinking about this sentiment and grace for two years.]

 10:54 Marc: "We need to hold our government responsible with the same passion we do when Marvel has Spider-Man's costume wrong in an issue."

 0:16:08 Taliesin: "It is a thing that happens to me occasionally on the internet, and this book brought this back up pretty significantly, and I don't do this all the time 'cause I only have so much emotional energy for a human being, especially, you know, times being what they are. I've only got so much of my brain power before I turn into a quivering mess."

0:16:25 Marc: "I can't wait for the day we can wake up and not be angry."

Taliesin: "I know. I'm so…"

Marc: "I'm so tired of being mad!"

0:16:31 Taliesin: "I take moments every morning, and of course being on the internet you get a lot of- there's hate and trolling that come my way, and a lot of it is nothing I didn't hear in high school, nothing that I'm not use to, you know, I've got a pretty thick skin, and I don't delve into the comments sections of videos or anything like that because I'm, you know, sane. But every now and then some body gets through and I just kind of want to have a moment of, like, I wish- and I want to test the theory that if I just find this person, I grab them for a second, and like, "Dude, are you alright? Like, do you need therapy because I'm in therapy and it's fucking great, and what can I-" I feel like, "When was the last time anyone asked you if you're just okay, if you need something 'cause, like, what the fuck, man?"

…

0:17:18 Taliesin: "I wish I had the energy for all these kids. I mean, like, it's so- and in real life I can do this, and I've had those moments in real life where you see someone losing their shit and you're like, 'Do you just need a fucking drink and someone to listen to you talk about your shit and not tell you that you're being, like-'"

Amy: "Or fewer drinks."

Taliesin: "I mean, like, often times just sit down, and I promise I'm not going to make fun of you, I'm not going to tell you you're being weak, tell me, like, what, man, what hurts?"

 0:17:59 Marc: "I don't think most people are evil. I think that there's a percentage of people that occupy the White House that are pure evil…"

Taliesin: "I've had a couple roommates that I'm not even making a joke that are definitely into that spectrum, but most people are just lonely and sad."

Marc: "Well, most people want to live their life, be happy, and be left alone, and I think for me it all boils down to education is the key because when you have- when you're not educated, you're easily scared and when you're easily scared you look for scape goats. It's what one political party has been making their hay on for a number of years."

 31:27 Marc: "We're all the same. We come up with things as a species to divide us when we're actually 99% the same. And we just let that 1% get in the way of everything."

 36:01 Taliesin: "I started to figure out that this was the beginning of a process. And I was starting to notice, 'This is going to lead to the types of characters I want to see in my fiction. And I started breaking down this formula of there's things that you have to do in the momentum of pop culture to get the kind of characters you want. And this was one of the thing that you have to do. And I broke it down to metaphorical representation with books like the X-Men where there are no—there were almost no gay characters in the X-Men." Marc Andreyko: "Or Peppermint Patty, or Schroder."

Taliesin: "Well, those are then the Schrodinger's representations which are 'Are they? Aren't they? We're not going to say.' [Stage whisper] But they are.

"But we have the metaphorical, we have the Schrodinger, we hate the stereotypes, which are the these are the things people think they know about these people."

Marc: "The gay hairdresser, the black drug dealer…"

Taliesin: "Then you have the buddyism, which is you have the established characters going, 'Some of my best friends.' And then we can just have a character where this is part of the tapestry. Once we've gone through all of this stuff so that everybody has gotten it out of their system, we've kind of sifted the pop culture to the point that now you can just do it."

Marc: "But that's not just limited to LGBT."

Taliesin: "No, that's any."

Marc: You look at female characters, you look at African American characters, and what's interesting about the LGBT experience now is it's taken 100 years for Black characters, it's taken 100 years for women characters, the LGBT representation- In my lifetime- if you told me 20 years ago that the Supreme Court would say that marriage is a right, I would have said, 'No way.'"

Taliesin: "No."

Amy: "No way."

Marc: "If you had told me there was going to be a gay-straight alliance at my high school, where my graduating class was 1000 people, 99% of the them I'd say, 'No.' My high school reached out to me after the book came out to send copies to their library. The learning curve for LGBT- we have gotten the privilege of having a very accelerated learning curve on the backs of other minorities who are still struggling to get ahead."

Taliesin: "We got to live- you actually get to live to see the work pay off. Which is rare in human history.

Marc: "As you say, that's just the way it starts out. It starts with exotic, then it becomes noble savage, then it becomes villain, then it becomes minstrel, then it becomes best friend, then it becomes lead. That's just the evolutionary trail."

 54:32 Taliesin: "Culture is not a rocket ship. We all don't get on the rocket ship to the planet culture and go up to the moon. Culture is like life: it is chaotic, it is violent, it is hungry… It is not normal for everything to just keep getting better all at the same time. It's normal for everything to get better over a period of the long game. In any internal point, chaos—"

Marc: "Well, Love is Love, a tragedy made that book come to life."

Taliesin: "That is the soil in which these things get planted, sadly."

Amy: "But that kid who graduates high school [because the book encouraged them when they thought they couldn't do it], who knows what happens."

 0:55:04 Matt: "We've got Blackmarket Bingo asking, 'What does Pride mean to each of you individually?'"

0:55:11 Marc: "Well, pride to me is a loaded word because, as a writer, I think 'pride,' I think 'hubris,' I think pride can be a detriment. There's pride with a lowercase p and there's Pride with a capital P. I think, for me, Pride in the LGBT sense of the word is lack of shame, is owning who you are, and not apologizing for who you are."

Taliesin: "Personal honesty."

Marc: "And being a good person who's an honest person. If you're an honest person and you live your life by the only direction we need as people: treat people the way you want to be treated. I don't care if you're gay, straight, Black, white, Republican, liberal, conservative, whatever, if you treat people the way you want to be treated that is living Pride because you should be proud of us not yourself; you should be proud of the change you can affect to make the world a better place. And I know that sounds like fortune cookies or Opera, or Yanla (sp?) changed my life or something like that, but it is very true. So, a lot of these clichés are become cliché because they are very true. And I think if you just try and live your life honestly and be nice to people. Hold the door, let someone in in traffic, you know, talk to the old lady in line at the grocery store, you never know what difference that's going to make. You never know how that's going to change the course of someone's life, so why not?"

…

0:56:48 Taliesin: "The notion of, 'We're all in this together.' And I will say Pride for me has always been about… and I got a lot of, well, for various reason I got a lot of crap as a kid, but one of the things I got crap about was this notion from some people, this was the weird one, that I was somehow putting effort into being this kind of person. That this took effort, that I was somehow pushing forward a pretense, and I just kind of had to do the, "No, this is actually…"

Marc: 'Who has the energy?"

Taliesin: "Who has the energy to pretend to be this weird and awkward! This is just me letting go and if every- like-"

Marc: "I'm not Andy Kaufman, this is all real."

Taliesin: "This is not an act! this is just- I mean, occasionally it's curated, which is different, especially this being the internet, but like, just the notion that if we all are- and the honesty that I was talking about, it was not honesty to other people necessarily, but just waking up that morning and being the person you feel like being and then just treating everybody the way- and just finding that communication between real people, not people trying to live up to some notion of who they think they should be."

0:57:50 Marc: "Well, once again I'm going to circle this back to a quote Patty Jenkins said, she talked about how the word cheesy is banned on her sets because she said, 'When did we become afraid of genuine emotion and sincerity.' And I'm guilty of this; we've all become too cool for school; we've all become the kids in Heathers and all that. And that's kind of why we're at where we're at now: We're afraid to cry, we're afraid to let down our walls, and I can't even read the quote because I start bawling, but she talks about we're in a really difficult place as a species right now. We should be embracing sincerity and genuine emotion and that sort of thing. We shouldn't be afraid of it anymore. And I just responded to her, I tweeted back, 'Fuck yes!'

 1:09:28 Marc: "There's something to be said for the hidden and the metaphor, you know?"

Taliesin: "Yes!"

Marc: "It's great that there's so much acceptance for LGBT characters and LGBT people today, but part of me wishes it was still back when I was in my 20s when you would get- you would see someone as a party and be like, [knowing nod] 'Yeah, I know,' and it was just unsaid or your would know that Peppermint Patty and Marcy are going to have a bed and breakfast in Oregon when they're adults."

Taliesin: "Obviously."

Marc: "And all that secret handshake stuff was… It's immeasurably better now and I'm putting this in… I would never want it to change, but there was something that the not knowing, the not having everyone be in on the joke, was nice because it also gave us an ownership of ourselves where it was the club we could control, we were the bouncer at the door of this club, and of course, ironically, homogenization is a good thing and to an extent of everyone being missed up, but there's something to be said about the subtlety of that, and I think a lot of times the subtlety and the metaphors are far more impactful than the direct."

 1:15:41 Taliesin: "You have to be open to new ideas and you have to have faith in your ideas, if you think they're good ideas, that they're not… if they're good enough ideas, the world is not going to break them in half. They don't need to have a fence built around them. If you have good ideas and philosophies about the world, the world's not going to break them, it's going to enforce them.

 1:20:10 Marc: "'Cause I always say that being gay is a huge part of who I am, but it's also an utterly insignificant part of who I am. We're all, once again, we're all have the same day to day struggles."

 1:54:18 Amy: "I don't talk about it much, but I'm the B in LGBT, for the record. Doesn't tend to come up a lot."

Taliesin: "Are we going there?"

Amy: "Well, I am."

Taliesin: "Yeah, I am, too. Fuck it."

 Taliesin looked at her with intense trepidation after she said it. Worried about what that step might mean, but also what it said about him if he did that whole episode about Pride and but was too scared to show it. And then wrote it off with a brief shrug and "Fuck it."

If you enjoy my work, consider supporting me through ko-fi, Patreon, or my shop. I'm severely disabled and it all helps justify my time spent on this project. Learn more about how and why to support me, including links.

[lgbtyrus]

TJ’s Playlist Chapter 11

Story Summary:  When Cyrus finds a playlist on TJ’s desktop full of old love songs, he realizes that TJ has never been a scary basketball guy but rather a huge sap. TJ just wished Cyrus could realize that all of those songs remind him of a certain boy who likes chocolate chocolate chip muffins without telling him directly.With insecurities and fears almost set in stone, it’s hard for TJ to admit that he has a heart aching crush on Cyrus who is trying to avoid just that. Of course, it doesn’t seem like both of them are trying to get over each other when they’re always together.

Ao3 Link | Chapter 1 | Previous Chapter

Words: 3,220

Monday at school, TJ got dropped off by his dad before he headed off to work. They had all sat down at dinner on Sunday and agreed to stay in Shadyside. It’d be much better if his dad just commuted. TJ felt a tiny tinge of disappointment. He wouldn’t have had minded the move.

He couldn’t help but feel a little more alone. He knew why, but he wasn’t going to text Cyrus as much as Amber nagged him to do it. He still had all his basketball buddies, but he didn’t talk to them like he talked to Cyrus on some nights. It wasn’t the same thing.

TJ started wondering if he was exaggerating, but he decided it would be better to just not think about Cyrus and avoid him at all costs. Cyrus was the confrontational one, and if he wanted to go and apologize eventually, he could. TJ wouldn’t back off, but he wouldn’t approach Cyrus.

TJ felt weird going to tutoring after school, knowing that Cyrus wasn’t telling Mrs. Pierson some silly joke as he walked in. TJ was biting his tongue as he walked towards the classroom, hoping Mrs. Pierson wouldn’t bring anything up. He had hoped she took a hint when him and Cyrus didn’t pair up that day during class as usual. Cyrus was partners with Jonah for once, and it honestly bugged TJ. But he didn’t even want to look at Cyrus, so he tried to play it off like he didn’t care. He ended up with one of the girls that messaged him occasionally about The Giver. Her name was Lizzy Larson, and she was beautiful. But TJ was in no sense attracted to her like he was attracted to other boys. He kind of regretted not sitting with Gabriel Parks. That would’ve really riled Cyrus up.

TJ opened the door, and his eyes immediately went to the desk where Cyrus would always sit. He wasn’t there. Instead, next to Mrs. Pierson was this older lady he had never seen. Mrs. Pierson stood up and motioned TJ to go over with a swift motion of her hands.

“TJ,” she smiled, “come here. Meet Mrs. Luo. She’ll be your tutor from now on except on Wednesday’s and Friday’s.” TJ forced a friendly smile to Mrs. Luo who also looked like she hated her life with the grim expression she wore on her face. Mrs. Pierson looked around, “No Cyrus today? Is something wrong?” TJ hated that she skipped right to that question.

“Everything is fine,” TJ lied. He didn’t really feel like gossiping with Mrs. Pierson. Mrs. Pierson raised an eyebrow, and he had a feeling that if Mrs. Luo wasn’t there, she would’ve pressed it. He decided he liked Mrs. Luo.

-

He loved Mrs. Luo. When TJ walked out of the classroom, he definitely felt a lot better about math. She assigned him some extra things to do, but he didn’t mind. If his grade was good enough for him to stay on the basketball team, it was great for him. TJ walked out of the classroom after an hour like always, and he felt how cold the empty spot next to him was now that Cyrus wasn’t walking next to him. He shook off the thought and looked up from his shoes as he continued to walk the halls. There wasn’t a lot of people, just some kids in clubs and Fall sports. Then he caught Cyrus’ eyes.

Cyrus was leaning against his own locker, almost as if he were waiting for TJ to walked by. TJ guessed he just wanted to see if he went to tutoring again. TJ stopped in his tracks and looked at Cyrus, not letting a single muscle on his face twitch. Unlike him, Cyrus’ face was painted in a clear frown. TJ didn’t want anything to do with him, so he looked away and kept walking. He walked past Cyrus, feeling his brown eyes follow every step he took.

Cyrus didn’t say anything to stop him, so he didn’t.

-

Cyrus waited at a booth at The Spoon until the rest of them arrived. He had his earbuds on, and he was looking out the window. He stared at one couple for a little too long as they walked by, hand in hand. One of TJ’s playlist was playing, and it happened to be full of love songs. Cyrus wondered how many of those love songs applied to the couple he was watching. Cyrus was almost scared that TJ would make the playlists private. He had so much music on them it was impossible to go through every song in a few days. He tended to add a few new songs every morning, but he hadn’t added any since Saturday night.

Cyrus wanted to tell TJ something in the hallway, but he wasn’t sure what to even say. He hadn’t told anyone about the incident, just his journal. He had stared at the polaroid of them together until he fell asleep on his desk that night. His back hurt all of Sunday morning.

“Hey,” Amber’s voice played behind the music. Cyrus took off one of his earbuds and cracked a small smile at her. “Has he talked to you?” she asked as she sat down in front of him. She eyed the earbud Cyrus placed on the table.

Cyrus shook his head, “I waited after school for him where we would walk by to see if he went to tutoring.”

“Did he?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s good,” Amber picked up the earbud and put in her ear. The Idea of You by mxmtoon was playing, and it made Amber smile. “So, you didn’t go with him to tutoring?”

“I doubted he wanted me there. He won’t even look at me. It’s frustrating,” Cyrus frowned, fidgeting with his fingers how TJ used to. It wasn’t the same.

“TJ isn’t confrontational. If you want to talk to him again, you’re going to have to make the first move. He tends to just hide from anything that makes him uncomfortable.”

“Do I make him uncomfortable?” Cyrus frowned. He was doubting how straight TJ was, but it could explain a lot of things. It could explain why he ran after the almost kiss.

“I’m sure you don’t,” Amber shook her head. “He likes having you around a lot more than what he cares to admit.” Cyrus raised an eyebrow at her, but Amber quickly took off the earbud. “I have to go. Text me if you need anything.” Amber quickly left the booth before Cyrus could ask her anything.

Now he was even more confused and mxmtoon was making everything inside of him spin like a whirl in a shaken up water bottle. He looked out the window again, and he couldn’t find the couple anymore. He did finally see Andi and Buffy walking up to the store.

“What took you guys so long?” he asked them when they sat down across from him.

“We were discussing something,” Buffy told him, making him raise a brow. Both the girls were absorbed in their own little world, and they hadn’t noticed he was in a terrible mood all day. Cyrus didn’t really mind, though. He didn’t want to spoil their sudden bursts of happiness with their boys. Andi and Jonah seemed to be in a good place after the party, and Buffy and Marty were talking again.

“We wanted to have a group hang out,” Andi smiled at him.

Cyrus quickly guessed the situation, and he immediately said, “No thanks.”

“No?” Buffy frowned. “You don’t even know what we’re doing.”

“I do know that it will probably involve Marty and Jonah, and I’m going to fifth wheel.”

“No, you’re not,” Andi told him, looking desperately at Buffy. Buffy bit her lip because she knew better than to deny it.

“Yes,” Cyrus nodded vigorously, “yes I am.” The three stayed silent until Cyrus said, “Look, I don’t mind if you guys hang out without me. I need to study this weekend anyways.” Buffy and Andi looked at each other with worried frowns. “What?”

“We were going to leave right now,” Buffy told him. “Please come.”

“I,” Cyrus stood up, swinging his backpack around his shoulder, “have to go.”

“You’ll come help me at practice Friday, right?” Buffy asked him as he started walking out. Cyrus gave her a thumbs up before he plugged his earbuds back in and immersed himself in TJ’s playlist.

-

Cyrus had Spotify open on his laptop, playing songs nonstop at almost full volume. He was staring at the polaroid in his journal again from his desk, his hand leaving a red print on his cheek from how long he had been staring at the photo. He wondered if he really did screw up that badly?

He just wanted to show TJ he cared about him a lot. He didn’t mean to come off as super nosy. He tried not to think too much about what TJ had told him because it stung a lot. It was definitely hitting him harder than anything about Jonah ever did, and he hated it.

He didn’t only hate the situation he was in, but he hated himself. He had really fallen for another dumb boy and there was nothing he could do about it. Maybe this was for the best. The almost-kiss freaked TJ out which proves that TJ Kippen is in fact a big heterosexual, and he would never like him back.

Stay out of his business Cyrus thought to himself. He kind of regretted not taking the hoodie because at least he’d have an excuse to talk to him again. Now, he wouldn’t even know what to say when approaching him. Hey sorry I cared too much about you and your family I hope you can forgive me for being nosy but it’s honestly because I like you.

This would be so much easier if he had someone to talk about it to, but he didn’t. Nobody knew he liked TJ, and a lot of other people didn’t even know he was gay. Buffy and Andi were doing their own things with their boys, and Cyrus was busy slouching over a boy he never had.

For a moment, he wondered if TJ was even worth the mourning over. But he decided he was just going to let himself be sad for as long as he needed. It might’ve just been him, but Cyrus felt like there was something there, always leading him on. TJ Kippen led him on, and he couldn’t even get angry at him over it because it could also be just be him being analytical.

Boys were complicated.

Cyrus reached out for his phone, subconsciously wishing that he’d find a notification from TJ. A Snapchat even if their streak was dead. Some random meme on Twitter. Anything to let Cyrus know that the situation wasn’t as bad as he was making it out to be.

But there was nothing.

-

TJ was sitting down on Amber’s bed, doing homework in silence with her. He was hoping she didn’t bring anything up about Cyrus while he was in the zone with math. His tutor give him a few tips for doing homework, and it helped him out a lot.

As he was going through his problems for revision, Amber suddenly gasped, making him jump.

“What the heck, Amber?” TJ frowned.

“You’re not mad at Cyrus because he was being nosy or whatever you call it,” Amber smirked, “you’re scared of the conversation that’s going to come up.” TJ was lost.

TJ raised an eyebrow at his sister, “What conversation?”

“The one about the almost kiss,” she whispered, eyeing the shut door. Their parents were both at work, but it was a force of habit.

“That doesn’t even matter, Amber,” TJ crossed his arms, looking away from his sister. “You can’t talk about something that didn’t happen.”

“You talk about being mad at Cyrus,” she teased. TJ glared at her before shutting his notebook and shoving his it along with his papers in his backpack. “TJ,” she whined. “I just want you to be happy.”

“It’s not going to be with Cyrus,” TJ chewed out as he jumped off her bed, storming out the door. TJ went into his room, closing his door behind him and throwing his half open backpack on his bed. He didn’t even realize Macaroni was there until he hissed at him for almost hitting him. “Sorry,” he found himself muttering to the cat. He sat down in his desk chair and turned on his computer, going directly to Spotify.

Cyrus was still listed under friend activity, and it showed that he was listening to TJ’s “Simpin’ Songs” playlist. TJ resisted the urge to make the playlists private again and instead closed Spotify to open the Lonely Hours folder on his computer.

I'm nobody's baby

I wonder why

Each night and day I pray the Lord up above

Please send me down somebody to love

TJ got up and walked over to his bed. Macarani let out a hiss, but he grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and moved him to the end of the bed. TJ crawled on and opened his backpack to resume his homework. He looked at his phone, the only notifications from the basketball team group chat. He swiped them out before immersing himself in math.

But nobody wants me

I'm blue somehow

Won't someone hear my plea and take a chance with me

Because I'm nobody's baby now

Only a few problems in, TJ couldn’t help but look over at his bookshelf full of vinyl players. He looked at the upper corner where he had a Vic Damone vinyl at the very edge, covering a well-hidden polaroid photo. He didn’t want to throw it away, so he stuffed it somewhere he didn’t look very often. He found himself staring there every other minute.

Nobody's baby

And I've got to know the reason why

Last week I was walking down the street and met a boy and I said

"Hey! Maybe I was meant for you"

But he only shook his head and said "Goodbye"

He kept on walking down the avenue

TJ noticed his door slightly opening, Amber peaking her head in. Macaroni let out a mew as he recognized her. “You could be his baby,” she joked. TJ pretended to go back to his problem as Amber walked in.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked him, sitting down at his desk chair.

“No,” TJ told her, shaking his head. “I just don’t want to talk about Cyrus.”

“You’re going to have to do it eventually.”

“No because I don’t want to.”

“TJ, you still like him,” Amber reminded him, “it’s not like all of your feelings went away just because you got mad at him once.”

“They could have,” TJ stubbornly muttered.

“They didn’t,” Amber said, completely sure of herself. Her and TJ stayed silent for a moment, not really looking at each other. “Don’t let Cyrus go over something this small, TJ. He cares so much about you.”

“Sounds like a personal problem.”

“Excuse me?” Amber rolled her eyes. “Am I talking to the old TJ? Because the old TJ didn’t care about anyone but himself. If I remember correctly, it was Cyrus who brought out this wonderful side of TJ .”

“Well, he’s dead now,” TJ started biting at the end of the pencil.

“Why are you being so stubborn?” Amber sighed, laying down on the end of the bed next to Macaroni. TJ didn’t reply. He didn’t have an answer for her. “You’re allowed to stop being mad at someone, TJ. We’re both not mad at dad anymore.” TJ looked at the shelf again and then looked up his ceiling where he missed Cyrus’ photo. He’d never say that, though. At least not right now.

“Just let me cool off,” TJ mumbled. “I feel like if I talk to him now I’m going to say things I’ll regret. Then I really won’t be able to fix it.”

“You have until the end of this week before I invite him over myself,” Amber propped herself up on her elbow. TJ rolled his eyes and went back to doing his work. On the inside, he didn’t know where he’d be without Amber.

-

Every day that TJ had tutoring, Cyrus would wait outside for him. Every day, TJ had walked by him without even acknowledging that he was there. Cyrus knew that TJ saw him, so he very well knew that TJ didn’t even want to look at him. Was he really that ugly up close? Cyrus had been going to the swings every day afterwards, singing his little song to feel better. It only helped a little, and the effects wore off once he got home to his journal.

Buffy and Andi still didn’t know that something was bothering him, and he didn’t know who to talk about things about. He had wanted to send TJ so many “how it’s made” videos within the past few days but found himself unable to. He was convinced TJ hated him and wanted nothing to do with him. He felt stupid for even thinking that for a moment in time, TJ could like him.

That Friday, Mrs. Pierson had made everyone partner up and once again, he got stuck with Jonah as TJ went with Lizzy Larson. She was pretty, and Cyrus hated it. He didn’t hate her. He just hated the nasty feelings that came with the idea of TJ holding someone else’s hand. It really threw him off guard, and he and Jonah lost the Kahoot game. He tried to catch TJ’s eyes a couple of times, but he kept laughing with Lizzy about who knows what, making him feel completely sad.

He felt done for the day after math, and he was ready to go home. Of course, like always, the universe had other plans to make him feel like crap. He still had to go help Buffy at the basketball team tryouts even if he just wanted to go home and make himself cry.

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy waved at him as he walked into the gym.

“He-,” Cyrus stopped himself as he noticed TJ talking to some of the basketball girls behind Buffy. TJ saw Cyrus with the corner of his eye and quickly turned his neck to see him. Both of the boys had frowns on their faces.

“What’s wrong?” Buffy looked between Cyrus and TJ. Neither of them said anything, the conversation between the basketball girls filling the space of the gym. Still, TJ and Cyrus remained silent, only staring at each other. The other girls started to noticed, freaking out Buffy. Buffy walked over to TJ and dragged him over by the arm to Cyrus. She whispered to them, “What’s going on? Am I missing something?”

“I didn’t think you’d bring Cyrus,” TJ looked up at the ceiling, his lips forming into a thin line. TJ was refusing to look at him, and it made Cyrus’ eyes burn with tears. Cyrus stared at him, mouth agape. Did he really resent him that much?

“I’m just gonna go,” Cyrus whispered before running out, the gym doors closing behind him.

Super sloppy chapter, but it’s done! It’s technically Friday but shhhhh. It’s okay. Thank you so much for all the positive comments by the way. I’m honestly running out of ways to say thank you because everyone is so nice to me, and you’re all beautiful people and you’re all so nice and idk how to thank you guys anymore ;-;

Anyways, DON’T FORGET TO VOTE IF YOU CAN! Luke and Josh’s RESIST = VOTE photo is my lockscreen until Nov 7 lmao.

Hugs and kisses, Star

Tag List:  @the-greatt-perhaps@thedampjofangirl@evaloveschristmas@musicalsfuckmeup@stupidlambforever @tyrushgoodman @cxrus-kippen@aestheticfairytaleprincess @cheesystars@tyronius-jackson-kippen @lihyry@rbf-lesbian @idk-i-stan-things @caprisunandcookiedoug

If I missed you, I’m so sorry. Please let me know if you want to get added or removed.

[artificialqueens]

Review with a Jew (Craquaria) - Echo

Hi! It’s me again. I kinda don’t like this but we’re gonna go with it. It got a little lost as it went on, but I decided to submit it anyways. Enjoy, I guess.

Katelyn: Sorry girl, she’s not doing well - be home tomorrow morning.

Cracker sighs as she reads the text, knowing that if she didn’t film within the next hour, she wouldn’t be able to get Review with a Jew by Wednesday with her busy schedule. She knew Katelyn only canceled because her friend was sick, but now she needed someone behind the camera. Well, she didn’t need someone, but she’d prefer if she didn’t have to sit and talk to herself. Plus, she was in a hotel room, and it would be really awkward if random people heard her shouting at herself. Whether or not the people around her knew someone else was in there didn’t matter, she would just be a lot more confident.

Cracker didn’t know who to ask. Monét was out with Dusty and Blair, so she couldn’t ask them. She thought about who else was in the hotel and had no plans, and the only person she could think of was Aquaria. Aquaria was the last person she wanted to invite. Not because she didn’t like her, but quite the opposite. She found herself drawn to the younger queen, in a way that extended beyond a friendship. It started as an admiration but quickly turned into an attraction. Cracker ignored it and wrote it off as a side effect of being cooped up in isolation for so long on set, but when it didn’t go away after the show, Cracker disconnected herself, only speaking to her when necessary.

She knew she had no choice if she wanted to get this video out on time. She swallowed her pride and left the room, walking a couple doors down to where she thought Aquaria was staying. She knocked on the door and hoped it was the right room. When the door opened, Cracker felt her breath hitch. It was the right room, but Cracker wished it wasn’t. Aquaria peeked her head out of the door and gasped when she saw Cracker fully in drag. The younger queen seemed to have just gotten out of the shower, with dripping hair messily sprayed across her face and her chest fully exposed. Cracker was in shock at how good she looked. She slightly shook her head and looked back up at Aquaria.

“Are we supposed to be in drag?” She asked frantically. “I know my makeup looks rushed, but it actually takes time!” Cracker laughed at her second comment.

“Oh come on, you know you look perfect every time,” Cracker laughed as she spoke, lucky that she had enough makeup on to cover her probably red face. “I just needed some help with Review with a Jew if you have the time, Katelyn isn’t here,” she clarified. Aquaria’s face flooded with relief and she backed away from the door slightly.

“Yeah, let me just throw on a shirt!” she shouted as she walked back towards her bag. Less than a minute later, she walked back in a tight-fitting white t-shirt that really wasn’t that much different from her just being shirtless. Cracker mentally slapped herself. Why couldn’t Katelyn’s friend get sick another day?

They walked back to Cracker’s room where the camera and lights were already all set up with a diet coke ready for both girls. Aquaria giggled at the setup, and Cracker thought it was the damn near cutest thing she ever heard. As they filmed, Aquaria laughed at Cracker’s jokes throughout the whole thing, even the bad ones, and was being all around adorable with her reactions.

“Until then, see you next time on Review with a Jew!” she shouted, flipping her hair. Aquaria let out a loud laugh as Cracker immediately snatched off her own wig and ripped her eyelashes off. “I need this shit off my face!” she shouted and headed to the bathroom, turning the sink on and filling it with water before stripping out of her dress and tights, and instead put on the hotel’s robe.

She put face wash all over her caked mug and dunked it in the now very full sink. She ran her hands over her face while underwater and after a few tries got all of the makeup off. She waltzed out in absolutely nothing but a robe, expecting Aquaria to have left by now, but was shocked to see her sitting on the hotel bed. She looked over at Cracker, giving her a quick look up and down and a slight smirk.

Cracker felt her face heat up and cursed the fact that there was no makeup to cover up her blush. She instead turned around and leaned over to grab clothes from her bag, unaware of her ass slightly sticking out. She heard Aquaria fake wolf whistle and immediately stood up, mortified. She rushed into the bathroom and changed quickly, walking back over to Aquaria on the bed.

She jumped into the bed - literally, she had to jump, the bed was so high - and lay down next to Aquaria. The younger queen laughed at her attempt to get on the bed and grabbed the remote from the bed so Cracker wouldn’t land on it. She held it up in the air and smiled.

“Kameron texted, we had a cancellation, so we have a free night,” she said and Cracker nodded. “Movie night?”

“S-sure,” Cracker stuttered and immediately wished she could lose her apparent lack of confidence. Aquaria laid down next to her and cuddled up to the older queen.

“What first?” she asked and Cracker shrugged, not needing another opportunity to embarrass herself. She knew her face was probably redder than a tomato, and Aquaria could definitely see it. In an attempt to hide her flushed face, she cuddled up onto Aquaria, probably not helping her case, but she did it anyway. She didn’t know how she got here from attempting to ignore her, but honestly, she didn’t mind.

Aquaria looked down at the shorter queen that was attached to her and smiled contentedly. She had felt them drifting apart lately, and couldn’t be happier when Cracker came to her door today. Though she would never tell Cracker, there had been no cancellation, Aquaria just texted Michelle and begged for a free day to be with the other queen. Cracker didn’t need to know that though.

Aquaria turned on Mean Girls, which wasn’t much of a surprise as it was all she ever watched. Are you even a gay millennial if you can’t recite the whole script like you wrote it? She knew Cracker wasn’t watching, but she was fine with it. For the first time in at least seven years, Aquaria wasn’t really paying attention to the movie either. She instead was focused on the sleepy looking angel beside her.

Aquaria had always thought Cracker was attractive out of drag, and found her oddly endearing, but left it alone as the controversy between them spread. When she entered the workroom, she was angry to see her at first, but after she managed to get over herself she realized them being on the same season was a blessing in disguise. They became really close and Aquaria started to notice the little things about her more and more frequently.

She noticed how when Cracker was really happy she would let her real smile show, even though she hated it (but Aquaria found it adorable). She noticed how when she was nervous she would cling to the nearest friend, and when it wasn’t Aquaria she felt herself get wildly jealous. She noticed how whenever she was upset her voice immediately went monotone, so Aquaria was always the first to jump to her defense or to cheer her up as she was the first to notice.

She also saw the insecurities, like how much she hated her smile and how she would try to never be showing skin in any way. When Aquaria asked why she seemed to isolate herself when it came time to change or anything, she responded with a simple “I’m not as perfect as the rest of you guys, so I save myself the embarrassment.” to which Aquaria shot back “bitch have you seen Eureka?” causing a laugh before the older queen walking away with her head down. Aquaria wanted to hug her, but she didn’t know how she would take it, so she left it alone.

Aquaria has never been a huge fan of feelings. Sometimes she wished she could bottle them and throw them into a fire, but that didn’t ever seem to be the case. She realized her feelings for Cracker extended beyond friendship and thinking she was hot out of drag.

As they got closer, Aquaria denied what she was feeling more and more to the point where it was painful. But, she would never let her feelings show, and she just continued on with her life. She knew Cracker wasn’t in the mood for dating any time soon after her last boyfriend, so she didn’t even try.

When the two queens started to drift apart, Aquaria guessed that it was probably for the best, but that didn’t stop her from hurting. She just wanted to be with the other queen, even if it was only platonic. She thanked her lucky stars for today because she missed how close they were, literally and figuratively.

About halfway through the movie, Cracker dozed off. Katelyn had told her that Cracker wasn’t sleeping much lately, so Aquaria didn’t dare disturb her. She looked down in awe at the angelic face that the older queen hated so much. She didn’t understand why Cracker couldn’t realize how beautiful she was. She seemed to be so confident in drag, but as soon as the makeup came off, she was the opposite.

Aquaria wished she could capture this moment and have it forever in her mind. The lights in the room were all off, except for the TV screen, which was lighting up Cracker’s face beautifully, making her look as gorgeous as ever. Every angle that the light was hitting her was perfect. She looked more peaceful than Aquaria had ever seen her. She knew it was only just after 3 pm, and there was no chance of her sleeping as well, so she instead tried to focus on the movie, but couldn’t help but look at Cracker more than the movie. God, she wished she could be hers. She wouldn’t call it love but it was damn close. At some point, Cracker would have to wake up, but for now, Aquaria would have this time to keep in her mind.

[carousels-on-fire]

Long post under the cut about going to PA to see my brother!!!

(I promise the entire thing is not as negative as the first few paragraphs, I needed to vent!) So first things first! My brother is awesome, he and his wife are so forward thinking compared to my parents and it was just nice to be around.  UNFORTUNATELY, the ship delivering me to that utopia of openness was my car driving me and my mother 14hrs, while playing car tag with my father. My parents are not, in any way, shape, or form, good people. They’re nasty, malicious, passive aggressive, aggressive aggressive, gaslighting, snippy, and just mean people all around. But they like to think they’re put upon nice people, and only THEY see the world as it really is. Its exhausting. They make me a worse person being around them. My mother spent the entire time calling my father every horrible word in the book, and finding every reason to be angry with him, even when there wasn’t a reason. And kept remarking about how he was probably throwing a temper tantrum in his car. The irony that I had to listen to her complaining instead. And she had the GPS on her phone too even though mine was open when I was driving and kept trying to tell me different directions. Basically being a control freak. And when I wasn’t driving she was tail gating people, flipping them off, speeding up and then slamming on the breaks to avoid running into people. I basically told her if she fucked my car up she got to pay for it. She’s a miserable person and I can’t wait to never have to speak to her again. My father spent the entire time being irate about everything, screaming at me about “helping out” with the dogs and just being a miserable asshole. And then turning a complete 180 and acting like everything was fine when my brother was around. He basically caused the poor dogs to fall down the stairs at my brother’s house twice just being a pushy impatient asshole. The dogs are old, the stairs are really steep. But...I can’t do anything about it that would help the dogs or help the situation at all. I’m powerless. Getting the dogs taken away would do more harm to the dogs. But they’re so mean to them. My brother even commented on it. BUT, BUT, in a beautiful moment my brother called my mom the fuck OUT for being a loud crazy bitch outside his house. He told her not to make a scene because his neighbor likes to sit outside on his porch and she was glaring daggers at him the whole night. It was nice to see her put in her place. Also my niece was not nearly as nerve-wracking to be around as I thought. After a couple minutes it was pretty easy to figure out how to interact with her. She’s two and only knows a few words so its not complicated yet, she’s not asking real questions. She’s cute but I don’t think I could be around her more than a couple hours, just because she does require constant attention. My brother got some photos of all of us with her and managed to get a great one of me pretending to bite her leg like a child eating demon. Kids seem to like me for some reason. I see a lot of my brother in her, and based on what I remember of the stories of him as a child, and how she’s being raised, she’s going to be a terror. Of the mischief and mayhem variety.  I do always feel slightly out of place around people who are really normal and have their shit together. But then my brother will do something really bizarre and its like ‘yep, there’s that family resemblance.’ To give some background info, my bro is a wedding photographer, he lives at the gym when he can, dresses really nice, he’s basically someone who would never ever need to be on Queer Eye. But he’ll do stuff like record himself driving and making monkey noises and getting really into character, its so funny. Or he’ll do shit, like we’ll reach for something in the center console of the car at the same time, and he’ll make sure to rub his arm against mine and be like “YEP let me make this as awkward as possible” with this ridiculous face. OR he’ll say something so off the wall in conversation that you almost don’t catch it, and then you laugh for like 5 minutes. I really hate that my friends don’t get to see my brother at his weirdness peak.  I hate that I didn’t get a selfie of us, because we’re really as different as you could possibly be appearance-wise.  Philly itself was kind of underwhelming overall. But, the 1hr and a half drive there kind of wore me out prior to actually walking around downtown. I think if it were like Savannah where I could take a bus into downtown, or in a place where I was used to walking long distances everyday it would have been fine. And I really only saw a little bit of the city because it took so long to get into the city and I had to leave before dark. So I’ll reserve judgement until then. The shops I did see and the variety of stuff was amazing. The oddity and punk stores were incredible. But it does worry me moving to a big city, that I’ll have to deal with traffic like that the entire time. Savannah traffic when I lived far from downtown wasn’t terrible. But Savannah is still a small city compared to Philly. I finally got to see the Mutter museum which I wanted to forever! Some of the skull exhibits made me so sad because some of them were from such young people. There was a wall of skulls with ages, nationalities, and sometimes a story. And it would be such tragic deaths. There were a lot of 25 and 26yr old suicides and that hit close to home. There were so subtly different. I loved trying to see the people in each face. The teenager skulls were so small. The children smaller still. The worst were the ones from women who died young in childbirth. I wish I got to see more of the fetal deformity exhibits at the Mutter Museum but we were running short on time. There was a Civil War exhibit about Black soldiers that was fascinating. Including a huge reproduction of a poster calling able bodied men of color to fight. My brother looked at it and said to me “How many of them do you think could even read this to know what they were getting into?” Its something to think about. But the sad part was the poster was about men of color getting their dignity and personhood reclaimed in that war. Its bitter to think they still haven’t completely gotten that, even after so much time. I could have spent days in that museum, it probably took me longer because I had to stop and read every single placard and try to picture what each thing was or was used for, or what it looked like alive.  There were a couple comic book stores that I got to check out, one with extremely helpful staff, one with not very helpful staff. I was on the hunt for that Hawkeye and Bucky comic that I saw panels of on here, and actually ended up finding it at Barnes and Noble. I did, while my brother and parents were busy at a wedding, get to see an old friend from college so that was cool. Its nice to just see people who aren’t my co-workers and get to do normal people stuff like go to lunch and socialize. Another thing I wish I’d gotten to try more of in Philly was food! I didn’t have much money to spend. The one cafe I went to had terrible, godawful pastries. Like...they tasted like someone forgot to add sugar to them at all. And they were stale/old tasting. I’m usually not one to complain about food that much, but this is an exception. BUT the one cafe thing my brother took me to was amazing. It was an italian place with coffee and pastries, but also actual food and wine. I asked the barman for ‘wine sweet enough to put in a hummingbird feeder’ and he did not disappoint. And the stuff is only like $8/bottle. The drink menu was intimidating though. It looked like it was in another language entirely. It probably, mostly was. The only really big downside to the trip was I caught a stomach-bug tuesday night and was out of commission wednesday and a lot of Thursday. Even though I was upright, it was like ‘at what cost?’. Even today I’m not 100% back to myself. But luckily my brother was super understanding/supportive. I felt so bad because my niece got sick too. She seemed to bounce back pretty quick though.   My brother is also awesome because he and his wife got me a copy of that John Olliver book Marlon Bundo about Mike Pence’s pet rabbit being gay and getting married to another boy rabbit. They bought one for me and one for my niece. They’re pretty great people. I’m so glad at least part of my family is sane and I don’t have to throw out the whole damned thing, you know?