#we're the same age... :0

[good-beans]

Wait I knew Hawks was young but he's 22??

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[boowritess]

notsobaddasssoldier!reader who is kinda a cunt

reader who just doesn't give a shit about the 141 rank or title.

"you think just cause your captain of some lil task force i'm gonna bend over backwards for you? be serious."

"cool you're lieutenant...and.... anything else interesting? like how you think halloween is 24/7, or...?"

"oh so it's a big accomplishment you're sergeant at your big age? tell someone who cares."

you're just so... eh about their ranks. but they get some power trip when you call them said rank. makes them feel some sort of way that depsite your snark, you still call them by rank. showing the clear difference of inferiority and superiority between you and them.

till you notice and shut that shet down.

"your so fucking stupid. it's like if i met The Pope. I'm gonna call him Pope because he's The Pope. I still don't give a shit though."

"or like meeting a Doctor and calling them Doctor. I don't give a fuck that the persons a Doctor. I'll still call em it."

"better yet. hate the king. hate the queen. but i still call them the queen and king. because their dumbassary is just linked to their 'ranks'. if you keep annoying me the same is gonna go for you."

you have so much sass and snark that it becomes a truly humbling experience. and it's like - damn. they could put you over their knee and really put you in your place but reader takes things from 0-100 real fucking quick.

"you wanna what you fucking freak?"

"excuse me-?"

"you're so fucking dumb. get a braincell dumb bitch. do it and fucking find out what happens."

"shot me in the head and watch my corpse not give a fuck because I don't."

and when the guys get a lil too fucking serious about putting reader in their place. reader suddenly has a gun pointed at their face. you see what I mean by taking things to 0-100 real quick?

"dummy. really tryna fuck with me when we're surrounded by guns? fuck outta here with that bullshit."

"matter fact I'd just kill myself-"

"NO!" *141*

it's obvious you may be young and perhaps a little too mouthy for your own good but it's clear you're not going to be pushed around.

but it's obvious you ain't here for the 'greater good' and just doing the work to get the paycheck. while the guys find your snark to be really fucking annoying.

it turns out that you definitely have some perks.

you may not be able to hold yourself very long in battle, just a very basic solider with basic skill sets- your mouth and attitude can really work wonders on people.

in particular, the egotistical rookie who things they're all that. taking their sweet time with basic tasks, belittling other recruits who can do the bare minimum. just in general, an asshole. that's when you step in.

"you ain't shit bitch cause at the end of the fucking day turdface, you ain't bullet proof. i can shoot you right now, and all your running and yapping will cease to exist. your corspe will rot. people will stop knowing you as the loudmouth rookie, and you will just become nothing. infact. you are nothing."

*the recruit opens their mouth. you interrupt.*

"Nothing."

*recruit tries again.*

"Nothing."

it's an endless cycle that ceases when your hardened glare doesn't stop and you pick up a rock intending to throw it at the recruit. the blank, dead, serious look in your eyes showing you are more than fucking serious.

what really works wonders though, is they way you aren't worried about putting a superior in their place. the other 141 have basically been beaten in and to not question anything. they have been made to believe they are weapons more than human.

that gets shut down real quick.

you all have just come back from mission, that was grueling. a couple of you were injured. everyone looked worse for wear. dirts, scratches, blood. someone no longer had their vest. a few lost weapons. barely had any inventory. needing food, sleep, and then a long shower shower.

but instead waiting for the task force, was a superior officer, holding the next mission file. a mission they were supposed to be getting ready for and practically leave as soon as they got back.

before price could grab for it, you intercept. grabbing the mission file and throwing it at the superior officers face.

"you giant fucking anal peice of dried solid dog shit. we're not fucking doing that. we just got back from hiding in a fucking forest for three weeks with enemy surrounding us to get intel from a camp- THAT WASN'T FUCKING THERE. so you better turn and take those pretty polished shoes to another task force."

"what is your name, soldier?" *superior officer growls.*

"Dolly Parton. Now Dolly has just worked longer than a nine to five and Dolly ain't got the patience for dealing with a man like you. i got two bullets left. one for you and one for me. and if you think i won't do it- well we can put it to the test now-"

perhaps it was the utter dead look in your eyes, or the gentle yet seething venom in your tone. the superior officer simply growls and turns on their feet, leaving the task force.

it's funny cause you do get the respect, you are barely a good soldier but dang you can get shit done when need be. so price doesn't transfer you. he still keeps you close.

ghost is the one who loves the feral little shit you are. gaz and you talk mad shit about everyone on base. soap just absolutely adores you, you're the little sibling he's always wanted.

a/n: inspired by the feral nature of gen z.

[sinizade]

I made a little clothing guide for some Dragon Age regions

Some may not be exactly the same as the references that appear in the game or in the concepts, but I wanted to give a little of my vision to the guide.

Ferelden

Ferelden is close to the Frostback Mountains and Orlais and as Leliana and Zevran once said, Ferelden is cold, so I thought it would be a cool idea to put on thick clothes with a lot of fur so the Fereldans can protect themselves from the cold.

Tevinter

Dragon Age 4 is approaching and it's already evident that we're going to be in the Tevinter Imperium, so I discovered that a lot of Tevinter clothing was inspired by clothing from the Byzantine Empire

Orlais

We've already seen in the game and in the concept art that Orlais is all about being flamboyant and flashy and what's more flamboyant and flashy than mid-1500s fashion?

Antiva

Home to the two loves of my life, Zevran and Josephine, Antiva fashion is something I really love… The puffy arms, the breast-enhancing corsets, the leather vests, idk, I just like Antiva

Nevarra

I don't exactly have much to say about nevarra, but I did some research and found some concepts that I thought were interesting, I also saw in some places that said that the kingdom was inspired by the traditional culture of Spain

So I'll leave two references here

One for the traditional clothes and one for what I imagine might look like Nevarra dress

Frostback Basin

In Inquisition we can see that the clothes they wear are quite furry and well protected from the cold, so I think it would be a good idea to inspire some of their clothing in Inuit clothing

The Dalish (1/2/3/4/5)

Well, for the Dalish I had MANY ideas, among them think about adding traditional clothes from some tribes, native Brazilian/American, African, Hawaiian, Inca, Aztec and Mayan

Remembering that I made a great mix of traditional clothes from several tribes and not just one, and that I also have 0 intention of disrespecting any of them, if I have put something wrong or disrespectful you can be free to alert me

Orzammar

I knew little about Turkey, but when I went to research I ended up enchanted with some of the traditional clothes when I went to research about it and I thought that this style would go well with Orzammar

Par Vollen

For Par Vollen, I had a bit of trouble finding it, but I think clothing a little bit closer to the ancient Egyptian style would be something interesting. The light fabrics, the golden jewels adorning the body, idk, I like that idea

Rivain

I was doing some research again and found that part of Rivain's look was inspired by traditional clothing from Islamic Spain and Southeast Asia , so I looked around a bit for something to put here and add one more kingdom to the list

I hope you people enjoyed! Soon I will add more realms as soon as I finish my research

[maple-tales]

Okokok so elf reader BUT theyre pretty young like 16 (in human years) and the party had no fucking clue and they find out (somehow idk im bad at thinking) AND everyone kinda freaks out and readers just ":0 you didnt know???"

My math is probably off, but this felt like a good moment for reader to mention their age :)

"I'm turning 29 this year," Chilchuck mumbles.

"Really? We're the same age then!" you say.

"What?!" Marcille gasps. "No way you're that young!"

"Is that young for elves?" Laios asks.

"Is that not young for tall-men?" Senshi says.

"Not really," Laios answers with a shrug. "I'm 26."

"No way," Marcille says quietly. "You guys are all just kids!"

"I'm kind of surprised you didn't notice," you say. "Although, I have been told I have a mature face before."

"What the heck are you doing in a dungeon then? You should still be in school!"

"Okay, Mom," you tease. Marcille clamps her mouth shut, blushing.

"How old would you be if you were a tall-man?" Laios asks.

"You can't expect them to do the math that quick," Chilchuck says.

"Probably 16 or so?" you guess. "Teens is pretty young for tall-men, right?"

"You weren't kidding," Laios says, eyebrows raised. "You really are young!"

"I sure hope I've been feedin' you enough," Senshi frets, his arms crossed.

"My age doesn't change anything," you say. "I'm still just as capable as I was before, you know."

"O'course it changes things!" Senshi says. "It's our job as adults to provide for the young 'uns!"

"And this is why I keep my work and personal life separate," Chilchuck mutters, casting you a sympathetic glance.

As Senshi fusses over you, you can't help but think he had the right idea.

[felassan]

Mark Darrah video: 'Dragon Age: The Veilguard Has Shipped. Now What?? #/masseffect'

Video description:

"Dragon Age: The Veilguard has shipped. What happens at BioWare now? BioWare structurally finds itself in uncharted territory as it only has a single Project (Mass Effect) active. Chapters: 0:00 Veilguard is out, now what? 0:22 BioWare Structure and History 1:57 Growth 4:45 Consumption 6:28 Sustain 7:27 Contraction 11:14 Leadership Discontinuity 1 12:48 Leadership Discontinuity 2 14:14 One Project At A Time 16:33 Mass Effect 18:50 Will The People Be There? 22:18 FOCUS"

[source]

Key notes from the vid and the comments underneath:

"Up front I should say that I have every confidence that Mass Effect [5] is in fact being worked on and that that project is going to receive all of the support from EA that it might need."

Slowly and painfully BioWare is figuring out that it simply can't do more than one project at a time anymore. It's now a single-project studio. Mark Darrah expects that both Edmonton and Austin will be working on ME5 together

ME5 effectively paused production for 15 months in order to help DA:TV ship

Right now other than some DA:TV clean up/final patches, everyone at BW is working on ME5

However ME5 isn't yet ready to suddenly have a team of 250-300 people working on it, so while some DA:TV devs moved onto it, some DA:TV devs were moved to/are moving to other parts of EA instead. The ME5 team started, but there is a long way between "start" and "ready to scale" up

The ME5 team is figuring out what ME5 is going to be & its structure, then will get ready to ramp up to a much bigger team size

"BW, for the first time really ever, is able to singularly focus on a single project, is able to put everything it has towards a single goal, which is making the best ME it possibly can."

But it remains to be seen whether BW will be able to get its people back when it needs them and is ready for them. There are a few reasons why this might prove difficult. Alternatively, on the flipside, this degree of focus might be exactly what BW needs to move it into the next phase of its life. "Maybe EA is going to prove to be incredibly effective at moving people around and when ME5 looks to start to grow maybe there will be no troubles".

We will probably have hints of what's going on [with ME5] within the next two years. "I have high hopes for ME. I think that once they figure out staffing, BW being focused on one game at a time is probably great for the studio" (though there may be growing pains to get there)

Does Mark Darrah foresee similar issues in the ME5 dev cycle to what DA:TV had? No, because ME5 hasn't had the same two big directional shifts, and it has had no leadership discontinuity (ME5 paused when they went to help DA:TV i.e. it didn't continue without a leader). But we should only really start counting ME5's dev cycle from today. "It really hasn't been that long with a significant team"

The ME5 teases in recent N7 Days were made by a "very small team"

There are still lots of veterans at BW

Mark Darrah doesn't expect to be involved in what BW makes next

More under cut due to length.

BW has existed in different ways/structures through its history. We're currently entering into an "unprecedented time" for BW

The purchase of BW by Elevation Partners, the purchase of BW by EA, when Ray Muzyka & Greg Zeschuk left BW, and the year 2017 in general are the 4 most important events (not including shipping games) that Mark Darrah feels have affected BW the most in its history

BW's strategy over time could be seen as having had 4 different phases: grow, consume, sustain, contract. In the contract phase, though BW maybe didn't realize it yet, the number of projects it was capable of running simultaneously was decreasing slowly/gradually. Why? Projects were getting more expensive, requiring more people/resources/time, and by this point BW had essentially burned off all its 'reserves' from the growth phase i.e. there was no longer any fat left to burn off

After DA:I shipped, Mark Darrah experienced that it was very difficult to find resources if your project wasn't the next project that was due out the door

DLC is a safety valve for processes and staff; a place for devs to work when other projects aren't quite ready for them yet; a place for the next gen of leaders to be grown. These things disappear as DLC does. Mark Darrah is pretty sure that the move away from DLC is coming from EA

In the contract phase, in 2013-14 Anthem was starved out by DA & ME:A. ME:A was also somewhat starved out by DA. Then when ME:A was in the driver's seat, it consumed most of the resources

In late 2016/early 2017 during the push to ship ME:A, as part of that BW began to experience leadership discontinuity. As the DA leader, Mark Darrah led a team of DA people onto ME:A to help it ship (the Dragon Age Finaling Team) for a few months. this sort of thing had happened at BW before but this was the first time when senior leadership moved off the projects they led to do this. this caused a change in philosophy in terms of the way that projects were run

When ME:A shipped and Casey Hudson came back to lead BW, there was then a much much larger leadership discontinuity with Anthem. The Montreal studio was supposed to move over onto Joplin to help kickstart it but it ended up getting taken away and given to the leadership in Montreal. but even if this had happened as it was supposed to, BW may not have been able to be in a place where it was going to be able to ship Anthem and Joplin simultaneously

Three quarters of the senior leadership on Joplin moved to Anthem or left BW. DA continued and became Morrison. The discontinuity had massive consequences for DA4

In 2021/22, this happened again in the opposite direction. The leadership team moved onto DA to help it ship, though rather than leaving some of the team in place, everyone moved. The other project (next Mass Effect) effectively ceased to exist for 15 months in order to help DA4 ship. In 2023 for the first time since 1995 BW was only working on 1 project (DA:TV) & there was nobody working on ME5 or remasters or side projects at that time. Now that DA:TV has shipped, apart from some people on cleanup and final patches, there is no plans for DA:TV DLC and "there is only Mass Effect". "Everyone at BW will be working on Mass Effect."

DA:TV being a 'direct sequel' would have been an unlikely path

With BW now focusing on a single project, Mark Darrah does worry that EA will get "itchy"

It'll be a [long] while to DA5 [hypothetically speaking, if it gets made]

MELE involved a lot of external devs

Shadow Realms was BioWare Austin and was due to: "partially places for people, partially a desire for Austin to get something new."

Mark Darrah expects that the devs are hearing everything being said about DA:TV

BW focuses more on consoles because of sales numbers

Unreal Engine 5 (which ME5 is on) is moving onto other EA projects as well, which may help

There are reasons why DA:TV is the way it is

BW has had external consultants on leadership and structure over the years

Mark Darrah expects that the next Dragon Age will once again be pretty different to the last iteration

BW Austin were brought in to help make Anthem. "What didn't happen (that should have) is that they should have had more directional control over the live service direction."

BW has had difficulty learning from previous games because at least one title was too far along TO learn. but a single game leads to staffing issues

Mark Darrah pitched a dev structure back in 2016/17 which would have had "3 fast follow games then a period of retooling"

EA doesn't really sell IPs

Chance of DA:TV DLC? "That's an EA question. And I expect EA's answer to be no". "I don't think we will see DLC. A new DA would be in the future."

"DA has been looking for larger audiences in every iteration. EA has never understood the franchise"

Remake DA:O or ME1? "While I think it would do well, I don't expect it to happen at any time soon. Also the skillsets required don't really over lap"

"The 3 previous games DAVe was are leaking through in places"

Diagram from the video which shows the flow of people throughout BW's history, made by a member of Mark Darrah's community.

[source]

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Omg Exorcists hunting like Ospreys

They dive and go sploosh in the water then fly back out no problem

Vaggie shows this once and Charlie, a no wing haver, is amazed by her gfs ability to fly out of water very much “but??? Wings in water meant to be no bueno??”

the one thing vaggie misses from heaven: Dive Bomb Fishing

XD no but, imagine Vaggie spending ages hunting around the city for a swimming pool big enough to show off to her girlfriend in. Up in heaven there was beaches and bright sparkling bodies of water, but hell is overcrowded and....

Vaggie: "How hard is it to find a body of water in hell that DOESN''T already have a dead body floating in it!?"

Angel Dust: "I dunno toots. Probs as hard as a long throbbing-"

Vaggie: "Shut up and keep looking or die."

she finally finds one and gets SO giddy about it, same as when she was excited to show the hotel commercial to Charlie, dragging her gf over to the edge of the one sanitary pool in hell like

Vaggie: (hopping up and down) "Are you ready for the surprise?"

Charlie: "I, think so??"

Vaggie: "Good!"

Vaggie: (hugs gf) (hops back again) (Grins)

Charlie: "Vaggie wh- pffthaha! You're really excited about this 'super cool angel trick thing' aren't you?"

Vaggie: "You have no idea."

Vaggie: "Now hold this taxidermized fish for me."

Charlie: "Hold the what."

it's a fair question. clean swimming pools aren't the only thing it's tricky to find in hell

Vaggie: "Fish!"

Charlie: "HOLYSHIT WHAT IS THAT THING?!"

Vaggie: "There's not a lot of fish options down here but we're gonna pretend it's a salmon. Or was one, in a past life."

Charlie: "Do I have to- I mean, is me holding it CRUCIAL to the surprise..?"

Vaggie: "You can throw it in the pool soon don't worry."

Charlie: "If it's in the pool Vaggie I don't think I'm going in that water."

Vaggie: "That's perfect! Just get ready to throw."

Vaggie starts stretching her wings

meanwhile poor Charlie wants to SO MUCH to be supportive about the angel thing after how not great that revelation started out so she's nodding and smiling and not instantly yeeting the horror fish and internally doing math equations trying to figure this out so she can be extra super happy about it

Vaggie: (twirling spear) "Ok babe, I'm gonna fly up real high, and when you see me wave you toss the abomination fish into the pool. Right?"

Charlie: "OK!!! Fly wave throw fish, got it!"

Charlie was ready for anything she was PREPARED

she was NOT prepared to see her girlfriend plummet through the air and dive smack dead into a pool at what looks like literal break-neck speed

Charlie: "VAGGIE!?!?!?"

Angel Dust: "Mmm not bad. 10 outta 10 for looking like she's gotta death wish. Slaaaaay!"

Charlie: "IS SHE OKAY?!"

Husk: "0 out of fucking 10. That shit looks wet as fuck."

Angel Dust: "Wuh luh wuh LOVE when thing get-"

Husk: "20 out of 10 if she drowns you."

Charlie: "THAT LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!"

Niffty: "Wheee! Me next!!!!!!""

Cherri Bomb: "Booo! 2 out of 10! It wasn't even a canon ball."

Charlie: "IS SHE HURT THAT REALLY LOOKED LIKE IT HURT!"

Niffty: "Did her spine snap? Is she-" (giggles) "Dead~?"

Alastor: "I'm SORRY to say it dearest but I SINCERELY doubt it! In fact it seems she is just about to surface, and NOT as a far more flatteringly corpse, ha ha!"

Charlie: "VAGGIE ARE YOU OKAY???"

Vaggie's head pop back beaming and shaking water from her face

Vaggie: "Charlie! I got it!"

Charlie: "Not the question I'm asking! Wait, got what?"

Vaggie: (laughing) "Look!"

cue big wing flaps, Vaggie spraying everyone who isn't Charlie with water as she wings back up out of the pool and lifts her spear to show off...

Vaggie: "I got the fish!"

....the stuffed abomination skewered triumphantly on her heavenly spear

Charlie: "You- you caught it!?"

Vaggie: "On the first try! First try in years and-"

Charlie: "YOU CAUGHT THE FISH???"

Vaggie: "I did!"

Charlie: "NO WAY!"

Vaggie: "Yeah!"

Charlie: "HOLY FUCK-"

Charlie, who has NEVER seen a diving bird irl before and whose is mind actually honestly BLOWN, cheering and jumping around and grabbing each of their sopping wet friends in turn to shake them and point at her gf, who

Charlie: "-just did that whatever that was she did that IT WAS AMAZING she went ZOOM like NYOOM and SPLOOSH and wOW-!"

Vaggie: (puffing up) "If there was real fish in that pool, we'd be having some for dinner tonight."

Charlie: "WOW!!"

Alastor: (dripping) (grinning tightly) "How. Delightful."

Charlie: "OH OH OH I GOTTA CALL DAD! I-"

Charlie: "-dad? Dad!! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT VAGGIE JUST DID!!!"

Alastor: "Oho~"

Vaggie: "What're you laughing at?"

Charlie: "-went WAY HIGH UP THERE and then she DOVE-"

Alastor: "Why at your cruel fate of course! Prepare to be MORTALLY embarrassed in front your partner's parent, my dear~"

Vaggie: "Are you kidding? Fishing is best skill I have."

Charlie: "YES SHE DID SHE DID DO THE DIVING FISHING THING AND SHE GOT THE FISH ON THE FIRST TRY!!"

Husk: (soaked) "That's not. Fucking. Fishing."

Vaggie: "Don't be bitter just because you can't do it, Husk."

Angel Dust: (also dripping) "Both of ya are nuts."

Cherri Bomb: (sadly holding up soggy bomb) "You could get a whole school of fish with one stick of dynamite. I'm just saying."

Niffty: "I wanna be the fish! SKEWER ME!"

Vaggie: "No offence Nif but, pass."

Niffty: "RRG!" (kicks her in the shins) "Stupid sport fishing lesbian!"

Vaggie: "Stupid good at sport fishing lesbian, you mean."

Charlie: "-okay!? Yeah! Yeah I'll tell her!!" (end call) "VAGGIE MY DAD'S COMING OVER HE'S GETTING OUT HIS OLD FISHING POLE HE'S GONNA PUT THE FISH ON IT AND MAKE IT WIGGLE FOR YOU WHILE YOU CATCH IT!!"

Vaggie: "No way!"

Charlie: "YES!! And IM gonna film it!!!"

Angel Dust: "An' we're all goin' home. Have fun with your gay nature docu-thingy."

Vaggie: "Have fun missing out on the fishing losers!"

Charlie: (hugging her) "This is so COOL! How do your wings even work after getting wet!? That's amazing!"

Vaggie: "It's what the daily preening is for, babe."

Charlie: "WE'rE GONNA DO SO MUCH MORE WING PREENING!!!"

Angel Dust: (distantly) "Gaaaaaay...!"

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FIVE

genre: angst, fluff, comfort, the usual

word count: 5.0k

warnings: hmmmmm don't think so!!

author's note: hello hello !! finally done with this!!!! took me ages 😵 anywayssss i was supposed to include like italian cities and everything but i have 0 knowledge of italy i've realized, it's been ages since i went there... so pls forgive me for that, hope this makes sense anyway :) hope you enjoy!!

series masterlist

"we came home from a run in the mountains about… ten minutes ago?" you start, checking your watch. "the view was actually mental, i will send you some pictures."

your mother hums on the other side of the line. "that sounds lovely, darling." she pauses for a moment and you sit down on the edge of your hotel room bed. "where is ollie now? is he around? can i talk to him?"

"he's in the shower," you tell her, ears instinctively listening for that familiar sound of the shower running and the soft humming by your boyfriend. "but i can put him on when he's done, if you'd like."

the same night of the monaco grand prix, ollie managed to find a way for you to fly out to italy with him the following morning. you were into the idea when he proposed it, but right before you were traveling to the airport, you started to doubt if it was actually that good of an idea. you basically only had racing gear in your suitcase; no swimsuits or clothes to work-out in, and the only outfit even near fancy enough to wear to a real restaurant was the one you had worn to the ferrari celebratory dinner the night before.

but ollie insisted. i'll buy you everything you need, he told you, which you, of course, instantly refused. i want you with me, so if that's the price i need to pay, then it will be worth it.

ollie took a day in modena to re-pack his bags, to visit both prema and ferrari, and to just take some time to recharge with you after the race weekend. the following day, you started your trip down the country. but first, you needed to stop in another few cities for some shopping. after a lot of complaining, you agreed to let him pay for the clothes, but only if you got to pay for the coffee and gelato. pretty fair, if you may say so yourself.

you booked your hotel in a cozy little city neither of you had ever heard of before, somewhere close to the west coast, but you have been around in most neighboring cities by now. romantic dinners in charming restaurants, sunbathing by cozy little lakes, and a lot of hiking and running through scenic trails to keep up your physique during the break.

and, as you hoped beforehand, you've started to see ollie in a new, more romantic and more exciting light. the quiet evenings spent together, far away from the hustle and bustle of your regular lives, have been like a breath of fresh air; it's all so easy, so comfortable, so heartwarming. and after your talk with paul in monaco, there isn't even a dark, rainy paul-shaped cloud hanging over your head like there usually is.

you find yourself enjoying the different layers of him and every detail that make ollie that sweet guy you first went out with, and those initial butterflies from your first few months together have finally made their comeback. it's not a huge change, but definitely enough to make you feel like you're moving in the right direction.

"are you two having fun?" your mother asks, the tone of her voice a tad too innocent for you to ignore. "your father mentioned something about a fight, or…"

you can't help but scoff at her words – you know she means no harm, unlike your other parent, but even just the mention of your father irritates you these days. "we're not fighting, mum. everything is fine."

"i'm glad." another moment of silence, just as suspicious as the whole aura of this conversation. then, she lets out a laugh, her voice growing much more lighthearted. "do you two ever fight at all?"

you aren't having it, however. "not really," you say, continuing instantly. "i think it's silly to assume that it's a bad thing that we're never upset with each other. i don't understand it."

your mom clears her throat. "you've got it all wrong. all we want is for you to be happy," her voice booms out from the phone, a little louder now than before. "but fighting a little is healthy. dealing with your problems is important in a stable relationship."

you obviously understand her side of it, and you know she's right. but how could you ever bring yourself to fighting with ollie and causing him any extra pain when he deserves nothing but happiness? how could you ever put more pressure on him when he's already got the expectations and weight of the entire world resting on his shoulders?

besides, what would you even fight over? the fact that you aren't as passionate about him as you were about paul? or the fact that you don't feel the same way you used to with your ex?

this vacation was supposed to make you feel more, to make you fall deeper. sure, you still have a few days left, but will any amount of time ever be enough to get over paul?

"we have no issues," you say. "it's alright, we've got it under control."

you can hear your mom let out a little breath before she speaks up again. "if you say so, then i trust you." there's the faintest hint of sincerity in her words, enough to almost make you believe her. "he must've been very proud to see you on the podium."

a faint smile appears on your lips at the mention of monaco, nodding to yourself as you think back to the race. "he was. jealous, but proud."

"i think they were all jealous. maybe even paul." a confused frown takes over your face as you lie back over the sheets, staring up at the ceiling. "how was it to share the podium with him again? you two looked quite happy with each other."

"i guess."

"you guess? you two were hugging like…" she chuckles. "well, like it was a year ago."

you take a deep breath. "your point?"

"i was just thinking about how…." her words fall out of focus when your ears catch the sound of the shower being turned off and feet tapping against the tiled floor.

ollie then appears in the doorway to the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and an intrigued look in his eyes. who are you talking to? he mouths.

"ollie just came out of the shower," you tell your mother as you push yourself up to a sitting position again, dropping your phone onto the bed and clicking a button. "you're on speaker, mum."

she calls out for him, and he smiles as he sits down next to you on the bed. "hello, mrs. harper," he says. "how are you doing?"

"lovely now that i get to hear your voice, sweetheart," she coos. "how are your parents doing?"

yet again, everything quiets down; ollie's mouth moves, and you see him politely laugh at something your mother says, but everything you can hear are your mother's words from before.

dealing with your problems is important in a stable relationship.

you reach forward to brush a wet strand of hair out of ollie's face, letting your hand fall down to his cheek. he looks down at you with gentle eyes and raised eyebrows, making you want to open up and tell him everything. about how badly you want to change to be the perfect partner for him, about everything you're feeling and about everything that makes you so terrified that your voice gives up on you. about how scared you are of even giving him a real chance, of actually falling for him, because what if he isn't enough?

but what if he is?

what if you allow yourself to fall and he's there to catch you every time?

today during dinner, ollie got an idea.

he loves the way that you can come up with conversation topics out of nowhere. he loves how you can rant the entire way to the restaurant about a karting race you drove in ten years ago, and he loves your little game of "is the couple at the table next to us siblings, happily married, or is one of them secretly only in it for the money?" during dinner dates.

but it doesn't help him get to know you any better, especially not on the deeper level he wishes to reach you on. it doesn't allow him to come closer, nor does it help you get closer to him, either.

but tonight, he hopes everything is about to change. if he just introduces the idea of talking to you, actually talking, then maybe it will come more naturally in the future, too.

ollie is sitting up in bed when you turn off the lights in the bathroom and enter the bedroom. his back is propped up against the headboard, phone in hands turning black the second he sees you appear. he plugs the phone in to charge, clearing his throat before speaking up. "can i ask you something?"

you nod as you walk over to your side of the bed. "of course."

"i'm pretty sure i wasn't the only one who thought it was strange that you stayed in red bull after your dad started working with the ferrari driver academy," he says, watching you sit down on the edge of the bed. "how come you didn't switch academies?"

you let out a sound, something between a sigh and a chuckle, looking over at him as you hold up the duvet. "do you want the short version or the long version?"

"the honest version."

"well," you start, slipping in under the covers. "there's a lot that went into it. ferrari is a cool brand and everything, and it would be an honor to represent them. but…" you shrug – or as much of a shrug as you can pull off while lying down. "i went to red bull because of my dad in the first place so…"

ollie doesn't say anything when you pause, his expression reflecting genuine interest. he's always been a great listener, and today is no different.

"plus, it's been pretty good not having my dad breathe down my neck every second. i would've gone absolutely crazy by now if he had been my boss."

ollie snorts, a grin appearing on his lips. "your dad is a good boss, though."

"if you say so," you respond with a roll of your eyes, one he can't quite decipher.

ollie takes a deep breath, seemingly preparing for his next words. "you didn't even want to join ferrari just to be with me more?"

you bite back the smile that wants to spread across your lips. "didn't wanna get too distracted from my goals."

"is that so?"

you nod, and ollie just looks down at you for a few moments, that grin still prominent on his lips, before shifting to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. he then lies down, joining you beneath the covers.

"genuinely, though," he begins. "when did you first realize you liked me?"

only the gentle, white light from the moon sneaking past the blinds keeps the bedroom somewhat lit now, but it's enough for you to catch the way the pillow has messed up his hair already. you turn your head, eyes following the beams in the ceiling and the chandelier dangling from it. you think it through for a few moments. "i think… something inside of me always liked you." you pause to find the correct words, but none of them seem to describe what you're really feeling. especially not in a way that will sound good to his ears. "like, something just clicked when we went out on our first date. it was like the puzzle pieces fell into place. like i suddenly realized my feelings."

when you look back at him, his eyes glimmer in the moonlight – or is it because of your answer? – and he doesn't move for a good few moments, just taking you in.

"your turn," you prod, supposing he'll need to think through his answer, too.

however, he answers within just a second. "in 2021," he says, completely serious, "when i saw you for the scouting finals."

you groan. "oh, shut up."

"it's true!" he exclaims, propping his head up on his arm. "of course, i knew of you before that day. but actually seeing you in real life, seeing your smile and hearing your laugh..."

"but you never said anything?" you ask, eyes flickering over his features, mentally drawing lines between his freckles and birthmarks. "or did i miss any signs?"

ollie shakes his head. "even when you weren't actually taken, i knew you were mentally with..." he doesn't say the name; he doesn't need to. instead, he starts talking again instantly. "but when i heard that you two had broken up, i knew i had to shoot my shot. i knew i wouldn't get another chance like that."

his words should fill you with joy. they should make you swoon, make you fall even more for him, make you feel like the luckiest person in the world. you have this perfect man lying right next to you, telling you about how he was waiting for years for his chance to be with you – what could be better?

but instead, there's a sharp pain in your chest.

what if you will never love ollie the way he loves you? in the way he deserves?

the sound of ollie pulling the keys out of the ignition finally draws you out of your thoughts, eyes flickering over to him. you've been mostly quiet for this entire forty-five-minute ride to your destination, your mind still stuck on your conversation from yesterday, but you think you can blame it on just wanting to hear ollie hum along to the italian songs on the radio.

you decided to travel to this cute little coastal town to go for a little swim after your morning run, and the name of the place ollie had suggested seemed familiar enough. you just weren't able to figure out why – until you finally arrived.

"i've been here before," you say as you jump out of the car, closing the door behind you. "me and dino were here two years ago, for our summer break."

ollie raises his eyebrows, pulling open the trunk lid. "just the two of you?" he asks and you shake your head.

"some other friends, too."

and paul. but the words die on your tongue. it's an unnecessary detail, anyway, you think.

in this context, sure. but the truth is that the trip was pretty much divided into two trips; your trip with paul, and dino's trip with your other friends. it was just months after you and paul had first gotten together, and this was your first trip together as more than friends. you were still in that initial honeymoon phase, able to spend hours and hours together without ever getting tired of each other, stuck in a haze of obsession and love and everything in between.

but you're not here with paul now. you can't be thinking about your former boyfriend when you're here with your current boyfriend, at a stunning beach in this beautiful weather.

ollie slings your beach bag over his shoulder, closing the trunk before making his way over to your side. "any good memories?" he asks, taking hold of your hand and beginning to drag you out of the parking lot. "or is there a reason you never came back?"

you hum. "we went here to the beach, and… we went to a nice restaurant in town," you say, gazing over the beach to see if you can find any empty sunbeds. "it had a funny name, but i... i don't remember what it was."

"was it any good?" he asks as he lets you pull him towards two sunbeds near the shore.

you nod, snatching two towels out of the bag before ollie even has a chance to put it down, draping them over the chairs. "they had this lovely pasta," you tug your sundress over your head, folding it up on one chair. "homemade tortellini, with this sauce made of-"

"what are you doing?" ollie cuts you off when he sees you sit down, his frown prominent. "i thought we were going swimming."

he's already dressed down solely in his swimming trunks, but not even the sight of his toned upper body is enough to make you waver now. "i just need a few minutes to tan so i..." you trail off as his frown melts into a pout. now, that is something you have a much harder time saying no to. "do i have to?"

"you do."

once you've stood up again, ollie moves in behind you and practically pushes you toward the water, explaining how good it will feel, post-morning run and everything. but the second your toes make contact with the water, you can't help but squeal, instantly shaking your head and backing away again. "i can't," you tell him. his hand wraps around your wrist as you try to move away, and now it's your time to pull your best puppy eyes. "let me warm up a bit first so that i can actually enjoy it."

"that's what you said yesterday," he counters, his other hand reaching to grab your other wrist. "but you stayed far away from the water all afternoon."

"you're right, but i promise that today-" you let out another screech when he tugs you closer to him before picking your body up in one swift motion. you press a warning finger to his chest as he takes a few slow steps out in the water. "oliver james bearman, you will put me down right this second, understood?"

he doesn't answer anything, because he seemingly doesn't understand. or maybe he just thought 'put me down' meant 'throw me into the icy water'.

he doesn't even look guilty over it; in fact, when you resurface and look over at him, he's grinning like the damn idiot he is. "oh, you will pay for this."

if by 'pay' you meant that he would get to pay for dinner that evening, then you were right.

sadly, not at that restaurant from the last time you were in town, but at a cute little trattoria near the city center. you stayed quite late because ollie got recognized as 'the guy who drove for ferrari in f1!' by the owner of the building, who then treated all customers to free drinks, and you obviously had to stay and celebrate with everyone. after the long ride back to your hotel, ollie was out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow.

however, you can't get your mind to rest.

yet again, you find yourself dwelling on yesterday's conversation, and this entire trip in general. no matter what you do, no matter what you try – counting sheep, recalling old racing memories, thinking about the rest of the season – your mind always falls back to the same thoughts.

it's as if your brain works on autopilot when you slowly get out of bed, pull open the door to the balcony, and step outside. the cold air should help bring you to your senses, you assume, but it doesn't really do anything other than make your brain spin even more. the city lights in the dark night seem miles and miles away, yet so close, and you have to sit down on the little chair by the corner of the balcony to steady yourself. what's going on? you didn't even have a lot to drink, and yet you feel more dizzy than your worst nights out. what's real and what isn't?

one of the few things you know for a fact is real is the series of low beeps from the phone in your hand, but it takes a couple of moments for you to realize that they're signals – meaning that you're calling someone.

you blink at your phone a few times as you try to figure out what number you've dialed and how to turn off the call because it's nearing three in the morning, but you don't make it in time. there's a clicking sound from the speakers, followed by a low grunt. "hello?"

suddenly, you're wide awake and clear-minded again.

as you're trying your best to figure out how the actual fuck you managed to call him at this hour – was it a pocket dial? or did he call you? – the person on the other side of the line grows impatient. "is this a prank call or are you going to say anything?"

"i'm so sorry, paul," you manage to get out, your voice getting caught in your throat for another few moments. thankfully, he allows you some time to regroup. "i have no idea why i called you, it- it was a mistake."

paul stays silent for a little longer before the clicking sound of a lamp being turned on plays from your phone. "you must've had something to say, no?" he asks, and your heart clenches slightly at the sound of his sleepy voice.

you take a deep breath. "well... i actually do have a question for you." you shoot a precautionary glance over to the balcony door, checking that you indeed remembered to close it properly. "you know when you, me, and dino went to italy in 2022? during the summer break?" he merely hums as an answer. "do you remember what that restaurant we went to like five times was called? the one with the delicious pasta? it had a funny name, but..."

he lets out a confused sound, and you imagine his eyebrows furrowing together like they always did when you used to ask him stupid questions back in the days. "um... not right now..." he sighs. "you mean the one in the corner of the town square?"

"yeah, that one."

"can't remember. sorry." you both go back to that silence from earlier, and you begin to ask yourself if it's less embarrassing to say goodbye or just hang up right now and pretend this never happened. "a bit of a random question, no?"

you chuckle, nodding to yourself. "well, i've been craving pasta... so i just thought about it..."

"can i also say something i've been thinking about?" he interjects suddenly.

"of course."

"well, i... i'd really like to apologize. for all of the things i said about you in the start of the season." the words hit you like a truck. you had assumed you would be somewhat friendly after monaco, but you never would've thought he would actually apologize to you. "it all got much worse than i had anticipated. i didn't mean it like that, i was just..." he sighs again. "i was worried about you."

in some sick and twisted way, his words actually do feel comforting. you understand where he's coming from, despite how little he's said; maybe it's the fact that you know each other so well by now that makes you understand how sorry he actually is. "i get it, paul. thank you for your concern-"

"like, i genuinely really never meant for that to happen," he says, not able to hold back from cutting you off. "i didn't think it could snowball that big and get so taken out of context. i should've known and been smarter."

"i appreciate that, actually," you say, voice softer now. "it means a lot."

the sincerity of his voice lingers, chipping away at the anger you've been holding onto. there's a strange mix of relief and hurt still swirling inside you, though, and you look around the balcony to try to find something to anchor your thoughts. you accidentally glance back into the hotel room, your eyes landing on ollie, peacefully asleep and so oblivious to the emotional storm you're navigating. the sight of the gentle rise and fall of his chest blends with the memory of paul's tired voice, and your mind gets going again. surely, you woke him up – but what if he was lying in bed with someone just like you were moments ago? what if you not only interrupted his sleep but also someone else's?

the words leave your lips before you can stop them. "how is your girl doing?" you bite down on your lip, shaking your head at yourself as an awkward silence fills the air.

"who?"

don't act stupid, paul, you think to yourself. "the girl you were with in imola." who else?

"oh, her," he says, voice suddenly much quieter than before. "i don't know her. haven't seen her since."

"oh." you can't tell if that makes you feel better or worse; was he willing to just go kiss any random girl?

"how is milton keynes treating you?" he asks, interrupting your thoughts before they can trail off. "pepe bothering you anything? no murders in the stairwell?"

"i'm... actually not there right now."

paul lets out a surprised sound. "where are you then?"

you don't say anything; you don't need to. the silence is enough of an answer for him.

"italy, of course. i get it." he takes a deep breath, which turns into a loud yawn before he speaks again. "well, i really should get back to sleeping..."

"i really am sorry for bothering you this late," you say, the guilt clear in your voice. "i shouldn't have called."

"you can always call me, you know. no matter the time."

this is far from the first time you've been on a call with him like this, late at night and thousands of kilometers away. but the words you're so used to telling him, the ones you almost let fall from your tongue, are the ones you aren't allowed to say – or even think of.

i miss you.

"ollie!"

his name sounds like a curse when it leaves your lips, a mixture of a groan and a whine following it. you can hear the laugh he tries to stifle despite him being many meters ahead of you. "what is it?"

"i'm too tired," you complain, stopping in your tracks. "my body is about five steps from giving up."

for the last day of your trip, ollie wanted to take you to one of his favorite spots in italy. did he admit that it required a bit of a hike? yes. but did he remember to mention exactly how awful of a hike it was, that it would take almost three hours and that it would be worse than any workout you've ever gone through? definitely not.

"we're almost there," he counters, turning around to wait for you to catch up with him. when you do, he wraps an arm around your waist, practically pulling you with him up the last hill. you can see the viewpoint already, but you can't squeeze one last drop of energy out of your legs.

"you've been saying that for the last two hours."

ollie laughs again, a sound that usually wakes the butterflies in your stomach but right now just annoys you. how is it fair that he has all this energy left? "you're going to love the view, come on."

he wasn't lying; the view truly is breathtaking. the valley beneath you seems to go on forever, a patchwork of forests and rivers filling the land. the mountain peaks jut up sharply against the sky as the clouds drift lazily overhead, their shadows dancing on the ground below. and the feeling of your boyfriend's arm around you just accentuates the feeling, making it all seem a little brighter and more colorful.

"worth it?" he asks after a few moments of silence.

"let me breathe for a minute, and then i can decide."

he lets you admire the scenery for a bit – but he's already memorized every tree and every mountaintop far too many times, so his eyes stay glued to your expression instead. he soon snaps out of his thoughts, shrugging his backpack off his shoulders. "i almost forgot," he starts as he crouches down a little, opening the zipper of the bag and starting to search through it. "i have something for you."

your eyes flicker down to him, interest in your gaze. "i hope you brought more of those chocolates-"

when you see what he pulls out of the bag, you instantly freeze. it's not the bag of sweets you had expected; it's a small velvet-lined box.

a ring box.

"don't freak out," he says when he takes note of your expression, and he stands up properly again. "it's not an engagement ring."

"ollie-"

"just open it."

when you remain still, he grabs one of your hands from your side, places the box in your hand, and prods you to lift the lid. the hesitance bubbling in your stomach makes your fingers tremble, but you finally open the lid, revealing a thin golden ring with a tiny heart-shaped gemstone.

"it's a promise ring," he explains. "it doesn't have to be a promise that we'll get married one day, or anything like that. but, just... to show that i'm serious about us."

you finally tear your gaze from the ring, wide eyes blinking up at him. "i..." you start, but no words feel right for this moment.

"i know it's sudden, but you can also think of it as an early birthday present," he tells you. "you don't have to accept it, of course. but it would mean a lot to me if you did."

but do you really have a choice?

can you actually promise to be serious about him, in the way he's serious about you?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername recharging the batteries 💗

show all 61 comments

user thank you both for letting me take a pic with you 😭 made my week

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user gorggg!! hope you've had a good break <3

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redbulljuniorteam can't wait to see you back on track 💪

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user gonna have to steal you from ollie actually!! you're mine now 🫵

→ user i'll take ollie then 🤭

→ user deal

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olliebearman ❤️

[calmwaterstarot]

What can we expect from 2024 dear!?? 😌

2024 has a lot going on; there are so many astrological transits happening that have a huge impact on all of us.

January 1, 2024: Mercury went direct after being in retrograde for several weeks. This means communication gets better, legal documents can be signed without issues, and anything related to speech is cleared up.

January 20 - September 1, 2024: Pluto enters Aquarius. This is going to be a wild ride. The last time Pluto was in Aquarius was around the late 1700's, and during that time, the world underwent MASSIVE change. Both the American and French Revolutions occurred, coups happened with governments, royalty was dethroned, battles and wars were fought, the first wave of feminism began, etc. There's so much more than this. You should see the list. I'll include it here--start around 1777 and go through 1798. Pluto represents death, rebirth, and transformation, while Aquarius represents humanity and technology. When you pair these two, you're looking at major transformation socially, politically, economically, and technologically. There's a brief retrograde into Capricorn for one last time during our lifetime, and then Pluto will return to Aquarius for another 20 years. It's interesting to note that the rise and fall of empires throughout history is around 250 years. The cycle for Pluto is 245 years. Coincidence? I think not.

February 16, 2024: A stellium in Aquarius. A stellium occurs when three or more planets are in the same house/sign in an astrological chart. This Aquarius stellium will feature Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Pluto. The last time this occurred was in February, 1962, and was commonly referred to as the "Age of Aquarius." This time period brought about major changes in the fields of technology, science, and aerospace. I'm afraid that during this time, though, there will be a strong focus on AI and its advancement. Pay attention to headlines regarding an upgrade in technology.

March 25, 2024: Lunar eclipse in Libra. Major historical events typically coincide with lunar eclipses, and since this one will be in Libra, I foresee society wishing for balance, harmony, peace, and justice. I believe this will be a time that humanity will call for us to take a deeper look at how we can end strife and get along with each other. Be ready for major calls for wars and upheaval to end (even though it's happening now, this will be on a much larger scale with this eclipse).

April 8, 2024: Solar eclipse in Aries. On the flip side of the lunar eclipse, we have the solar eclipse in Aries. This will be a time where we start anew and are ready to charge down a new path. Mars' energy represents war, destruction, violence, revenge, but also strength. This particular eclipse is warning us about war and destruction on a collective level because it'll be conjunct the North Node (the direction we're all going). I believe we're headed into a total collapse and rebirth when we add in the Pluto in Aquarius energy, but it's something that needs to happen for us to evolve as a civilization.

May 25, 2024: Jupiter in Gemini, which is actually in detriment. This means the energy is weaker in this sign for the planet. Expect changes in telecommunications (voice, data, and video) and social media, since Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication.

June 2, 2024: Neptune is anaretic. Anaretic means that a planet has entered the 29th degree, which holds a sense of finality because this planet has transited all 30 degrees (starting at 0). It's ready to move on and cut ties. What does this mean for Neptune? Well, the planet of illusions will lift its veil and a lot of what we've held onto in our beliefs will die out. Some people will still try to hold on (sunk-cost fallacy) because they're stubborn, but the majority of people will release, mourn, and deal with the fallout that's going to be super messy. Imagine the feeling of being betrayed by someone you love. That's what Neptune lifting it's veil is going to feel like for most. Again, collectively, we NEED this energy for healing and spiritual growth.

July 21, 2024: Full Moon in Capricorn. Most of the time, nothing major happens on full moons, but this one is interesting because it falls on an anaretic degree, just like Neptune. Capricorn represents structure, discipline, rigidity, and order (its ruler is Saturn), so we're going to see some upheaval in regards to these issues. The old way of doing things will no longer serve the same purpose. This is the equivalent of saying, "Out with the old, in with the new."

August 5, 2024 – August 28, 2024: Mercury Retrograde in Virgo and Leo. With Mercury rx in Virgo, this might be a time where you lose or misplace documents, feel irritated, have constant miscommunication, or face scrutiny from the general public. Remember to write down important deadlines and keep everything organized so you don't lose anything. With Mercury rx in Leo, I'm fully expecting some celebrity scandals during this time. Otherwise, it'll be a time of thinking about trying something new or wanting to get out and do something fun.

September 17, 2024: Lunar Eclipse in Pisces. This will happen in the 25th degree (an Aries degree), so anyone with heavy Pisces placements will have creative breakthroughs during this time. We'll see a rise in great music, art, poetry and literature, as well as film and visual arts. This time period might feel very dreamy and whimsical on the art scene.

October 2, 2024: Solar Eclipse in Libra. We had the lunar eclipse in Libra in March, so now, the solar eclipse will bring justice and balance. Anyone with Libra placements in early degrees will feel the need to purge what's not working. Even though most Librans are peaceful, this will be a time of upheaval. Expect people to help the oppressed even more (seeking justice) in a world that needs to be more fair and balanced (Libra energy).

November 19, 2024: Pluto goes direct in Aquarius for twenty years, until March 8, 2043. Buckle up! It's going to be a bumpy-but-necessary ride.

November 25, 2024 – December 15, 2024: Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius. We all know what happens during Mercury rx, but what happens when it's in Sagittarius? Sagittarius represents higher education and learning, all things foreign and travel-related, religion, and spirituality. Expect religious or spiritual leaders, as well as educational leaders at universities, to have private documents leaked, misinformation stemming from foreign countries and media, as well as travel issues (delays, being rerouted, lots of crowds, etc.). This will not be a good time to travel.

December 6, 2024 – February 24, 2025: Mars Retrograde in Cancer and Leo. This is going to be...interesting. Mars hates being in Cancer; it's in detriment. Why? Cancer represents empathy and compassion, while Mars represents a more masculine energy that strives towards war, violence, and destruction. Cancer wants to provide a resolution to all of the conflict occurring, while Mars isn't having it. Expect masculine energies, especially men, to be more irritated and aggressive during this time. This duo can bring about discussion regarding balancing masculine and feminine energy, which we all have. Because Cancer is represented by the Moon, or the "mother" in astrology, expect some discussions about fertility and reproduction, birth rates (especially the low birth rates of some countries), marriage (or lack thereof), and any social dynamics with males and females. These discussions will carry over into 2025.

2024 is going to be a year that'll go down in history, that's for sure. One silver lining in all of this is that Venus does NOT retrograde this year, so we might see or hear about fewer breakups, and we might see or hear about more people entering into relationships and staying together.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Elsa and Anna’s parents survived their trip to Ahtohallan and back?

The thing is, there were answers in Ahtohallan, but they weren't very actionable or useful for your average person.

Elsa gets something out of it because she dies, turns into snowflakes, and is resurrected as the fifth element. The movie tells me this is the same Elsa we know and love but, well, we'll never know.

For Elsa's parents--they might find out Elsa's the fifth element, but probably not as the guardian horsey isn't going to let them get that close. The other part about shafting the natives that Anna and Elsa found out as the story progressed, well, they probably already have some idea/I can't imagine either of them are naive enough to really believe it was all a terrible tragedy given what happened.

And ultimately, the problem Elsa was having wasn't something that could be solved by the Ahtohallan trip in and of itself. Elsa had to learn not to fear herself, which up until this point everything her parents had done to try and help her had only made things worse.

Which means no matter what they find out, we're right back where we started at Frozen 1. Anna and Elsa have a strained and distant relationship that Anna is extremely frustrated about, but their parents are young and Elsa is highly unlikely to be coronated anytime soon. As a result, the gates are still not open for coronation day and there's no impetus to change (in fact, there might be less, as Elsa's parents are going "fuuuuuuuuuuck" upon coming back and not having an answer to Elsa's problems).

Where things get... interesting... is down the line.

Now, the couple has two daughters. On the one hand, Elsa has been preparing to be queen her entire life, she has sacrificed so much to do so. She's very intelligent, pragmatic, and capable of being queen. But, her powers are out of control with no solution in sight. Sooner or later, she's going to slip, and they can't lock up the fucking country forever.

However, the second daughter, has not been trained for being queen at all and is... Anna. I'm sure her parents love her, they seem to from what we see of them, but Anna, especially as of Frozen 1, does not walk around with the comportment of a queen. Anna's a charming but clumsy goof who is also, at that point in time, swayed by romance and fantasy. Anna wants an adventure, a grand romance, that she might get as a princess who could be married off to a foreign kingdom.... but not as a crown princess/heir apparent.

Not to mention Anna has given 0 indications she wants to be queen, at all, and Elsa really really really does want to live up to expectations.

THOSE POWERS THOUGH.

I imagine there's much debate of "do we send Elsa up north to the wilderness where she can make as many snow things as she likes and cover it up somehow? or do we keep her here and hope for the best despite it just getting worse :/"

And Anna, I imagine, is losing her patience. She's getting close to marrying age, she can get out of this fucking kingdom. She wants to meet handsome princes and LEEEEAAAAAAAVEEEEEEE. This is bad because a) it means no backup for Elsa b) Anna you haven't even met these fucking princes.

But Anna also can't be shut up forever and she really should leave and get married, you know, eventually.

So one of a few things happen:

Under Immense Stress, Elsa Causes Eternal Winter

Sooner or later, probably when some public appearance is mandated with no wiggle room, Elsa fucks up as she did in canon. Maybe Anna is insisting she's going to run off with Hot Prince Hans who is so Hot and Of the Souther Isles, but the way things were going--the pressure was unbearable, and she was near her breaking point.

At this point, we pretty much get Frozen as Anna (probably the catalyst) goes after her sister to find out "what the fuck?!" and is also going after her sister to prove a point to her parents "WHO LIED?! THIS WHOLE TIME?!"

Hans may or may not be involved, but if he is, then he has a lot more royalty to go through this time so is probably not scheming to murder absolutely everyone and "I AM SUDDENLY KING!"

Not quite the same situation as when the king and queen were recently dead, the country in a panic over whether Elsa could handle it, then Elsa's suddenly a fucking witch and oooooof Anna's queen... and she just ran off to the mountains...

Anna of the Souther Isles

Anna gets set up with a match just as she wants and ships off to somewhere warm without any fear of being shut out. Problem is, Anna has no idea who these people are or what she's getting into and it will likely be a fucking mess. Except she's also married to a man she doesn't really know and there's now no easy way out.

"hooraaaaaay" - Anna

[amberinn]

Personal sexuality hc:

- Damon Maitsu (bi bi bi bi bi bi bi, bi, everything abt bro is bi he IS the bi boy, he is never ESCAPING the bi boy allegations, the closet is made of air)

- Kai Monteago (!!transmasc, and well, bi. bro gives those vibes, too much gay talking in chapt 1)

- Jean DeLamer (gay, vibes)

- Jett /surname/ (bi!!! very much a stinky boykisser, but he'd also flush and giggle if a girl kissed his costume like reeheeheeheeheeheehee!!! he'd have the best day ever, he's the supportive bro, very outspoken abt his sexuality I bet

- Mark (straight. ...does not give those vibes, but I like this hc sorta, him having gay vibes almost, but being straight is suave or whatever we're calling it. It gives him charm I think...)

- Desmond (straight, gives those vibes, im sorry damon homie for the crush..... youre kinda going thru the bi experience every bi person went through....gotta fall for the straight situationship at least once or smthn)

- Ulysses (bi, if not only influenced by the fact i ship ulynona..., he gives gay vibes otherwise, and somewhat bi vibes)

- Wolfgang (straight)

- Toshiko (straight, she has a primary school bf (14yo atm also(btw funfact primary school in Poland at least is like ages ummm...... 6-14 ...ithink? wasnt 6year olds like year 0.... ah yeah, 7 class (1) 8 class (2) i remember now, yeah so last class of primary is 14yo, i think for USA theres smthn called "middle school"...? which is why i thought i had to clarify, i think we had that stuff in Poland also, but it got deleted at some point, at least back in my days in primary, i was the first year to experience year 7/year8 in primary, and not year7/year8/year9 in middle school. "gimnazium" or something.... the last year of the deleted middle grade in school went towards high-school which now does not last 3 years, but 4. also technical school doesn't last 4 years now, but 5. technical school is like ummm........ well like if you've shoved collage class level subjects into high school and let the classes run wild. hard. you have to pass high school and the subject you've picked. I'm in one actually, im studying economy rn)) she loves loves loves and in the future she'll marry her bf and generally live happily, i dont want a story where he breaks her heart.

girlboss ever!!!!!! bro better have some manners smh and all. super cute aa >u<)

- Wenona (bi, vibes)

- Cassidy (pan, vibes!!!) (have to think abt genderfluidity or some sort of transness to her at some point but not rn.... later)

- Diana (lesbian vibes bro)

- Ingrid (lesbian vibes if not only bcs she gives heavyyyy bismuth vibes to me once i put 2n2 together, bcs like..... pink lion, steven universe? inside of it's world is where bismuth was discovered. i love them both act theyre super special and lovely to me :3)

- Grace (straight lol)

- Eloise (definitively would kiss a boy(desmond), idk whether its bcs i WANT HER TO kiss a girl genuinely >< its ok eloise lovers get it, but ummm.......hard to say bro,..... bi, or straight. okay, yeah straight)

- Eva (ehhhh....hhhhmm.....I don't know, bi probably)

!!!! since none of them have canon sexualities (no, they actually do, Damon is literally so fucking heavily hinted bi its insane.)

!!!!since none -1 of them have canon sexualities, generally my stances of headcanons like.... shift whenever i ship anyone!!!

i look past the hc and first think abt which ship would i like best and do it

i only rll limit myself if theres canon sexualities, i generally dislike personally shipping aro characters n well.... im 17, too young to be writing nsfw atm, but ace characters for you know too.

same with gay boys being shipped with gals/the opposite etc!!!

One sidedness towards them is chill tho :3

adds flavourrrrr

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Not really sure how to start this, so I guess I'll just go straight into it.

Is there a name for having sex fantasies where you're a child in them?

A lot of the time, I need to dissociate when I'm getting off. I know a lot of my kinks & preferences stem from either trauma, or dysphoria, or a combination of the two. Most of them make sense & I can say “yeah I like X because of Y.” or “oh yeah, Z happened, and now I'm really into X.”

But the one thing that doesn't make sense to me is needing to put myself in a frame of mind where I'm a child, or imagine myself in a scenario where I'm a child, in order to get off.

Is this just another form of ageplay? Or is it something else?

A lot of the time I feel guilty & gross for it - because *why* do I need to see myself as *a child* getting abused or put in a sexual context, in order to get off? I should be seeing myself as an adult, I should be getting treated as an adult, because sex is for adults. Yet the easiest way for someone to rush me towards getting off is to call me a kid & treat me like one & for me to see myself as one in their eyes - for me to be helpless & naive & coerced & unprepared for what's about to happen or the consequences.

Sometimes the fantasies are based on memories, sometimes they're pure fantasy.

To be clear: I have no desire to go back to being that age, or to be around kids that age. Kids are gross to me, there's 0 attraction to them, nothing like that. If someone's even a few weeks younger than me, or the same age as me, it's a turn off - I only get attracted to people older than me.

But if someone gives me a Stitch sippycup & a hoodie I wore when I was 12 & wants to fuck me on the couch while a cartoon plays, I'll be rolling over for them within seconds, and in my head, I'll see myself doing those things as a child. I used to be really into littlespace & agere & ageplay, but negative experiences really put me off of them. Is this just… idk, another version of them? Or something else?

Does this have a name? And is it something I should feel so gross & guilty over?

hi anon,

it sounds like you're just into ageplay, dude. which is fine, by the way, like any other roleplaying between consenting adults playing horny make believe games is fine. you obviously have a really clear sense of the difference between you, personally, wanting to act like a kid and wanting to actually do sexual acts to real children, so I'm personally not seeing anything to feel gross or guilty about here. obviously if this is something that causes you to feel bad about yourself I wouldn't recommend engaging with it, but that's entirely due to your actions rather than anything inherently evil about what you're into.

as to your questions about why this - not every kink or fetish has a neat, tidy solution, and they don't need to. for most people, we're just into what we're into. but you may find this ask, written to another person worried about being turned on by things reminiscent of their abuse, to be helpful.

I do have, like, some questions about why you aren't able to see people the same age as you as viable sexual partners, but that's a question for someone with way more degrees than I have.

[variousqueerthings]

#okay but seriously#1-25 is young#26-50 is middle aged#50+ is old

i need you to know im sinking to the bottom of the ocean right now

hearing people calling 30-35yr olds "middle-aged" [ben affleck smoking meme]

[spinji]

How old is AFO and OFA

[Mile long post incoming]

Long story short this is a theory/headcanon/thought exercise to keep my brain busy while I'm bored at work. I wanted to figure out a more precise estimate for how old All for One is since his birth is essentially the earliest moment of quirk society emerging and so his life spans the entire timeline of this story which I find interesting. And then the whole thing spiraled into a full One for All timeline of headcanons, so enjoy that.

To start though, it would be easy to guess that he's 120-and-some-change because of Garaki. Mic claimed Garaki would be about 120 (and we're just assuming he's exactly right instead of guesstimating for the sake of things) and Garaki confirms that his quirk allows him to live longer than a regular human lifespan, and when they met, All for One was given a copy so he could also live absurdly long. But I want to try a more exact method to ensure that his generations of adversaries could have actually reasonably worked time-wise. So, we can use Garaki's age to check our work but, reasonably, All for One should fall somewhere in the 120-150 range.

Right off the bat, we do have a frustrating lack of information regarding ages and time passing but there are a few things we can establish. Firstly, we know AFO and Yoichi are twins, so when determining age we can start both AFO individually and the OFA users as a collective at the same point. Secondly, Yoichi and AFO are shown to be the first people to have developed a quirk in the way we see in current time. There were vaguely quirk like mutations in people before that (like with their mother) but quirks as we know them are presented to us as originating from these two twins.

I bring this up because while Yoichi, Kudou, and Bruce are all in the same vague realm of "adult" at the same point in time, Yoichi has to be the oldest of the three. Even if it is only by a few years, Yoichi and AFO preceed any characters with a quirk. And while we're on the topic of Kudou and Bruce, we can safely say Kudou is the older one of the duo. He's confirmed to be the head leader of the resistance group against AFO and Bruce is second in command, so, frankly it would just be bizarre if Bruce was older in age but lower in rank. That being said, I don't think their difference in age would be significant.

Exact ages is where things get vague and headcanon-y. There isn't really any hard evidence I can point to other than "that sounds about right" and "I guess they look about that age" in an animation style that is notorious for just slapping a, borderline arbitrary, age on any design regardless of logic. So, rather than trying to justify it too much, my personal choices for their ages are, at Yoichi's time of death, Yoichi is 39, Kudou is 30, and Bruce is 27. At this point in the story AFO has been amassing power and followers for a while now, long enough for a resistance force to rise up against him but not long enough that he's considered it more than a nuisance for other people to handle until now. Late thirties seems pretty reasonable, possibly a bit too young but this man has also been killing people since he was 0.

For Kudou and Bruce I aimed for the older side of military age. Old enough to lead an operation like this but still young enough that AFO's rise to power was during most of their lifetime. Also, there's the issue of the age ceiling. Thanks to Shinomori (who I will get to), users 2 through 7 cannot have lived to be over 40 years old. That is a hard, non-negotiable cap on their ages as the strain of OFA alongside a different biological quirk drastically shortens a person's natural lifespan.

Anyway, back to AFO's age. If Yoichi dies at 39, this would also make him 39 (duh) and given the climate of the world at this point, I think Kudou lasted the shortest with OFA, personally. He receives the quirk immediately upon Yoichi's death after getting his blood in his mouth (Yoichi probably thought of him in his dying moments aww) and likely a week or two later is when Kudou and Bruce find out about it. The chapter frames Kudou finding out Yoichi carried on into him at the same time AFO has the same epiphany so, generously?? I give Kudou a year. Max.

All for One is now filled with seething hatred for Kudou specifically after Yoichi's death, so everything has been put on the back burner so he can both take the quirk from Kudou to get his "possession" back (ew) and to kill Kudou along with everyone he ever knew, loved, spoke to, looked at, or had any genetic lineage with. Even for a guy this powerful that is going to take a bit. A year gives AFO time to find information and strike down the entire resistance and time for Kudou and Bruce to think of a counter strategy and gain an understanding for how OFA works. So, Bruce takes the quirk at 28, Kudou dies at 31, and All for One kills him at 40.

After Kudou's death is a very big blank spot where I need to unfortunately just blindly headcanon again, so bare with me. Kudou and Bruce's plan was for Bruce to take the quirk and slip away from the massacre of the resistance to build OFA stronger and come back to finish the job. I believe that Bruce met Shinomori while he was lying low. Judging by the one image we have of Bruce confronting AFO, he did seemingly attempt to rally people together to defeat him, which would have taken a bit longer than when Kudou was leading an established resistance, since he didn't already have people under him. But he clearly thought to pass the quirk on again as a backup in case he lost, which is why he chose Shinomori to take it. With time needed to plan this attack and also get AFO's sights off him, I'd give it about five years between AFO's fight with Kudou and his fight with Bruce. It's estabished that Shinomori takes the quirk at 22 so, Bruce dies at 33, and All for One kills him at 45.

Shinomori is actually a very clear-cut piece of the timeline. He takes the quirk at 22 and dies at 40, having passed the quirk to the next user shortly before that because he realized his health was rapidly declining. He keeps the quirk for a total of 18 years, making All for One 63 at the time of his death. Judging by how the flashback panels are structured, AFO has received Garaki's quirk by this point.

Also, we have reached the point where every following user of OFA has been a professional hero, so I think it's safe to assume that each link in the chain met through either being colleagues or possibly through a sidekick internship. I doubt All Might was the first one to think of scouting hero students for successors. I'm going to assume that users 5, 6, and 7 were somewhere in the 16-24 range when they received the quirk for that very reason.

Moving on though, Banjo is the next user. I do think Banjo knew Shinomori for a somewhat significant time before his death. Banjo clearly knows about Shinomori's reclusive nature in some level of detail based on how they interact as vestiges and while it is possible for the already deceased OFA users to peer into the thoughts and memories of the current user, it doesn't appear to be the same retroactively, unless it's something the vestiges want to show the current user. All this to say I came to conclusion that Banjo was already likely a pro hero when he recieved the quirk from Shinomori. Shinomori realized what was happening and reached out to one of the few trusted friends he had to carry on the burden because he knew he could handle it. So I'm going to peg Banjo at being about 22 when he took the power as well. Old enough to be experienced as a pro with enough time to have actually met Shinomori before he died. Just like all the others, Banjo died to All for One after being trapped under rubble and gave the power to En just before he croaked. Given his bordering-on-middle-aged appearance, I'm going to put forward Banjo dying at 37 and All for One killing him at 78.

En also has very little information on him but since we only have speculation to work with, might as well stop apologizing for it. En appears to be significantly younger than Banjo, so I suspect he was an internship student to Banjo while he was a pro. Putting En at 17 when he recieved the power is both enough time for them to meet and get to know each other with En having to take the mantle from him sooner than either of them anticipated. En's appearance is still quite young, but he was confirmed to be a pro hero for a time, so he didn't have as short a run as Kudou. Nana was also already some level of hero (whether student or pro is unclear) at the time she recieved the power. Rather than mentor and student I believe they were fledgling colleagues, since Gran Torino fills the role as Nana's older pro mentor. All of this makes me vaguely place En dying at 25 and All for One killing him at 86.

I already mentioned Nana potentially being colleagues with En as their way of meeting. I still think she may have been younger than him at the time but not significantly so. En is another user that is shown passing on the power while at death's door and the following panel that shows Nana accepting it doesn't make her look significantly younger than how she does in any given scene in the series. So I don't think she was a child when she took the quirk but I'm going to set my guess at 20. But! While Nana is another character without a listed age, surprisingly, we can figure it out a good guess with actual evidence this time. Her son Kotaro, grandson Tomura, and pupil All Might all have stated, confirmed ages that we can use to make a feasible timeline for Nana.

Currently, All Might is 57 and Tomura is 21, meaning All Might was 36 when Tomura was born. Kotaro was killed at 32, when Tomura was 5, making him 27 when Yagi was 36. Nana died when All Might was in his last year at UA, making him 18, meaning Kotaro was 9 at the time. Nana gave All Might OFA when he was in middle school, judging by his uniform, so we'll assume he was 14 and Kotaro was 5. When Nana and All Might first meet, Nana states that her family is all dead, in a cold and distant manner. But that wouldn't be true if Kotaro was still in her life. This would mean that she met Yagi after the death of her husband and after Kotaro was sent away. And I'd wager to bet it was very soon after. Assuming Nana gave birth to Kotaro at around 25 years old (perfectly reasonable) then she would have passed the quirk to All Might at 30 and died at 34 after having the quirk for 14 years, making All for One 100 at the time of the transfer. Gran Torino also states that AFO is over 100 at the time Nana died, which makes this whole thing perfectly plausible.

From here things get a lot less speculative. All Might is listed as 55 at the beginning of the manga, adding on Izuku's last year of middle school and first year of high school puts him at 57. We already established he received the quirk at 14, meaning he held the power for 42 years + 1 year quirkless before All for One was finally killed at the grand age of 143. Which would mean that quirks have existed for just shy of one and a half centuries now and we fit comfortably inside our estimate goal!

Now, I'm one of those bad at math gays so if you have other thoughts on this, feel free to speak up. And you're more than welcome to adopt these age headcanons if you want. Later.

[homoerotic-swordplay]

(personal) CQL/MDZS Age List

okay so i love THE Masterlist by TheWickling and i refer back to it a lot for remembering stuff but a lot of my personal headcanons conflict with "canon" ages (or as close to canon as the whole community has gotten) so I just wanted to write down my own with some side commentary to explain my choices.

It's not really canon breaking, just some slight tweaks for my own mental sake. (if you ever read my fics this would be the ages i would follow even unspoken). just add or take off a year depending if you wanted to be specific about birthdays cause i didnt lol

this follows a kind of mashup of the drama and the books timelines, because i like how they include a-yao more in the drama :)

anyways - ill put it under the cut

Character - Cloud Recesses - End of SSC - 1st Siege - 2nd Siege

Wei Ying - 16 - 21 - 23 - (MXY is 26, WWX would have been 36)

I think him being a year older than JC and having waited until his brother could go to cloud recesses is very him, also him being older than LWJ before his death then younger after is very funny to me

it also makes his teasing calling LWJ "gege" even more teasing

Lan Wangji / Jiang Cheng / Wen Ning - 15 - 20 - 22 - 35

nothing to really say here, this is canon ages for this group, applies to most other side characters present at CR schooling

Nie Huaisang - 18 - 23 - 25 - 38

mr "maybe ill graduate this year" is on record as having repeated schooling at CR on more than one occasion. I really like the idea of him lying about his age because he has a babyface but everyone knowing he's full of bullshit

Jin Zixuan / Jin Guangyao - 19 - 24 - 26 - 39

im in the "born on the same day means exact same day" camp, also the alternative of a-yao being still in his early teens but being a confidant to Wen Ruohan during the war and that doesnt seem like something he'd to tbh

i know this doesnt make much sense for JZX and being at cloud recesses so late but it's the only piece that doesnt fit so- again, creative license here. It matches up to everything else except that.

Jiang Yanli / Wen Qing / Lan Xichen - 20 - 25 - 27 - 40

JYL and JZX parents were "pregnant around the same" doesn't really read as "five years apart" but i know that she's older than him.

LXC is still "junior age" but like- he's cutting it close. Older than JGY and younger than NMJ so we're all good there

also bonus points to the power thruple for all have older siblings that are the same age lol

Nie Mingjue - 22 - 27 - 29 - (died at 30-31)

i think this is a good bridge for his and his brothers ages, in the movie they dont really look only 1-2 years apart in age, but definitely not like 6-7 years so having NHS be older than his canon age makes more sense to me again

Jin Ling - x - 0 - 2 - 15

canon age *shrugs*

Lan Sizhui / Lan Jingyi / Ouyang Zichen - x - 3 - 5 - 18

i like these three being the same age and Jin Ling being the runt of the quartet, kind of a reversal of the JC/WWX/NHS/LWJ quad

also just a side note, A-yuan talks way to much to be only 2 during the burial mounds arc LMAO (yes i know the actor was 7 but like- hes similar in the other works)

[quiet-admirer]

What you wrote about the shift in the online definition of feedism is interesting to me! I was exploring the online scene during that time (2011), too, and I feel a bit the same and a bit opposite. I saw “feedism” being used as a catchall term that folks lumped everything involving eating or gaining weight under. Stuffing and bloating were included under “feedism.” Even vore was occasionally under that umbrella.

I think now I see it as similar to the label of “queer” vs more specific labels within the queer identity. Queer itself can be an identity or an umbrella term. Like feedism can be a kink in its own right, or an umbrella term for other kinks. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry for sitting on this ask for ages, I was trying to find a few sources I *know* I have read with different definitions of fat fetish related terms, and I was curious to look back and them and see what they said. One was an older webpage and one a 2010s-ish? webzine, I believe, with like infographics and everything, but for the fucking life of me I cannot find them!

That's interesting, though! I agree, I have definitely heard feedism used as an umbrella term for as long as I've known it, I just don't think it was as common back in the day in my memory. It was (/is?) my impression that people who weren't as invested in the nitty-gritty of various terms used a looser definition, kind of like people now who don't distinguish between "feedism" and "feederism".

But with all of this kind of stuff I can never tell what might have been representative of the communities at large and what might have been a reflection of the specific slice of the Internet I happened to be exposed to, so who knows. The way feedism was always explained to me when I was learning about it was a feeding dynamic 🤷‍♂️ That's more useful for me personally but I don't make the rules about how other people want to identify, and I've kind of started seeing in the past year or 2 that if I really cared enough to make it a battle it would be a losing one lol, all the youths seem to be using it as an umbrella term to mostly mean weight gain kink at this point. I also may be 100% wrong and just made up the definition in my head without realizing it back in the day and have run with it for years!

I do think that it's worth being very intentional about how terms are defined and used in formal or academically-minded writing about ourselves, though, and making sure we're acknowledging the nuances in how the term is used, and I think my points I made in my reply to the post we're referencing still stand.

I once read a line in a paper or article or something that expressed the opinion that after so much research done on BDSM over the decades on what BDSM, what engaging in fetish dynamics and acts "means", the most solid conclusion that can be drawn is that the BDSM community are the worst people to ask about what BDSM means because nobody fucking knows and there is 0 consensus lol. I imagine it would be similar for our side of the tracks, too, there's a lot of variation and diversity among us.

What I really wish could happen is getting a huge sample of free-text submissions of terminology definitions from people in the fat/feeding/weight gain fetish realms just to see what everyone's similarities and differences were!

(and this is why we need to document and preserve and archive our shit, it sucks that it's so hard to go back and compare how we were defining ourselves in the past!)